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neoaevis · 3 years

Text

How Much I Love You/Hate you

How Much I Love You/Hate you

Word Count: 2654

Warnings:Smut(Use of the word slut, Boss kink, Over Stimulation, Male and Female receiving, Dom Mark, Pregnant Sex, Office Sex, Unprotected Sex(Don’t forget to wrap it), Cheating,Mentions of the word gold digger , Angst,Violence;punching and mentions of hurtful words(that’s it ig pm me for more)

!! NOT PROOF READ!!

A/N: Hello my dear bbys I finished the second chapter and I really hope y’all like it and just like I said it will be indiv story first and in around the third chapter we will see some interactions between our main characters but well lol depends in what I write, I really hope you enjoyed this as much as I did lol and please don’t hate me if you don’t also don’t copy any of my works,you may also chat me for suggestions or give me some asks of atw with things you are curious about and btw I will open the taglist so send me a message if you wish to be tagged enjoy💋

Chapter II

Day Before Heading To Korea

“That was amazing but can be better” Mark says as he stands up away from the girl that was shaking from the sex they just had. Mark was in a meeting that was honestly really boring when one of the intern that he has been flirting around with started palming him under the table that makes his eyes grow wide and his dick erect, originally he wanted to keep his dick inside his pants but she palmed her faster which made him hornier, so in the middle of the meeting he stood up and made everyone confused from his actions and people asking in small murmurs if something was wrong “Let’s continue this later, lunch break” he said with a loud enough voice.

He walked to the door signaling the girl to follow him into his office once she was inside he locks the door shut pressing the girl’s back to the door “What a fucking slut you are” he said with absolute dominance that makes the girl shiver ” I w-want you sir” she said as he tries to grab Mark’s face to kiss him in which Mark refused “You are not allowed to touch me” he removes his tie grabbing the girl’s hand and tying it hard enough that it will surely bruise, due to Mark’s action she feels her clit’s dripping wetness, Mark started by removing her blouse and tossing it just wherever, seeing the lace underwear she wore his eyes grew full with lust, he went to her neck hungrily leaving small marks as he unclasp her bra, he removes her skirt now carrying her towards the sofa near his table, he opens her legs harshly, rubbing her clit he said “Your this wet, I’ve barely done anything” he grinned, the girl was unable to open her legs from too much pleasure in which Mark reacted to by opening it wider “I’m going to punish you and make sure you will regret what you did” he exclaimed while ripping the girl’s panty, he sucked her clit harshly tightly grabbing her thighs, he then moves his tongue down her entrance which makes the girl release a loud moan, he stops and grabs her neck pulling it towards his face “You’re too loud do you want everyone in the office to know how dirty you are” his statement makes the girl’s voice hitch and even before she can give a reply he gets back to pushing his tongue in her entrance while rubbing her clit with his thumb, the pressure make the girl see stars all over ”I-I I’m cumming sir” she stated stuttering too much, Mark stops the girl felt the emptiness and she whined “You don’t get to cum yet slut” he said, he pulls her hair making her kneel he unbuttons his shirt and unbuckles his belt pushing down his pants with his boxer “Open your mouth” he orders as he pushed her towards his dick deep down enough for her to gag , he went on and on that the girl is now crying from how it’s too much but not wanting to stop as pleasure spreads all over her as Mark felt he was close the sloppier he got in pushing her, so she took the initiative to suck him on her own and not long after he came in her throat, saltiness filling her palate.

He pulls her bending her over his desk, he thrust inside her slowly before he slams harder and deep “S-sir you feel so good” his ego got boosted with her compliment thrusting harshly to make sure she would have a hard time walking and for her to learn her lesson, he grabs both of her boobs pushing her towards him deepening every thrust and soon after the girl clenched around Mark “You’re cumming huh?” “Y-yes” she said and Mark slaps her but really hard “You need to call me sir for you to cum” he said demanding her to follow “Y-ye yes sir please make this slut cum” soon after she cums and after a few more thrusts Mark follows, he gave her three more sharp thrusts befor pulling out.

“That was amazing but can be better” Mark says as he stands up away from the girl that fell down shaking from sex, “Your on the pill right” he inquired remembering he came inside her.

“Oh shit, I-I’m not on the pill sir” she said while she tries to stand up but fail, Mark then removed his tie from the girl and began collecting his clothes putting them back on one by one.

“I will tell my secretary to buy you some plan B make sure to take it” he said as he pulls his tie up signaling he will be leaving already.

“What if I don’ take it” she asked teasingly but Mark did not take it well slamming his palms towards the desk she is leaning to “Why did you fuck me is to get yourself pregnant for money?” he exclaimed, fear has spread across the girl’s face making her feel small.

Mark grabs his check in his desk and wrote 1 million dollars worth of money “Here’s the money so make sure to take it” he throws it towards her face.

“Are you just going to leave me, how about me right now or my panty at least” the girl said feeling pathetic and which Mark replied with a scoff giving her another check worth another million.

“I believe the money is enough now” he said walking away now and stopping before opening the door to say “I don’t care about you, what we did was just sex and nothing more so get out of here as fast as you can” and he left as anger spread all over him.

Flashback to College

Truth be told Mark is actually sensitive about pregnancy topics, there was this girl that he loved so deeply when he was just eighteen years old her name was Mina, he spent his youth loving and protecting her, she was poor unlike Mark which his parent’s disliked and protested that she was only a gold digger that is after his money, Mark even went through extreme lengths for her, from buying her expensive gifts to giving every part of him, even arguing with his parents every day and when she got pregnant when they were twenty he was extremely happy, he thought his life was complete with her not until one day when he went to her apartment he heard moans from her room “God, Mark doesn’t even know what we are doing, fucking around like this” said Mina “He is like a puppy following you around” exclaimed the man “Baby if not for his money I won’t be even fucking him, nor get pregnant plus you’re way better in bed” she said moaning, it made Mark really angry and pained, he slams the door open to which shocked the both of them.

“What the fuck did you just say y-you” he said as his voice breaks from too much pain that the love of his life gave him “Only loved me for money” Mina get’s herself off from the man as she tries to get close to Mark “ Mark no you, you heard wrong, I love you not because of your money” he pushed Mina away as he made eye contact with the guy making him punch him hard releasing all the anger “ I did not hear wrong, how dare you cheat on me” he said eyeing Mina, she begged Mark all over and over and the man she was having sex with said “Just leave that good for nothing asshole Mina” his words made every vein from Mark pop that’s why he punches the guy again and again and again in which the guy returned but Mark was overpowering as he threw more punches, Mina tried to stop them both but she was too weak to stop them soon after he gave the final punch that made the guy fall “I am not good for nothing, in fact I have money which both of you don’t have” he said in the most angry tone he has ever been, Mina and the guy was left shocked with his words they felt very belittle by it “And for you Mina, I loved you and all along my parents were right you are nothing but a gold digger” it made Mina cry even harder, regret filling her all over as she tried to reach Mark only to be pushed away hard enough that her belly hit the side of the bed, soon after that blood filled the room Mark was alarmed remembering his baby so he gave the ambulance a call. When they arrived in the hospital Mina was immediately checked and he found out his baby died his blood and flesh died, regret, blame and all different emotions filled him mostly blaming Mina if she did not cheat on him this will not happen. He left her that day returning to his parents because of how sorry he feels he defended her yet they were right all along, after that Mark has changed he no longer is the bubbly and friendly Mark he became a bad boy fucking every single girl not caring about them at all or would have a girlfriend but would cheat on them on multiple occasions, no relationship after Mina lasted as he thought all people care about is money not how he feels.

Day Before Heading To Korea

Walking he saw his secretary slash friend Taeil he immediately orders him to buy the plan B for the girl he just banged or just anything to prevent her from getting pregnant “Sir why do you fuck girls when you don’t want them to get pregnant” his secretary exclaimed “Come on Taeil don’t play innocent who knows you might’ve banged as much as I did or even more” he said teasing him to which Taeil returned with a huge shake of his head “Nope,nope I’m not like you and never will, well infact I am getting married soon” Mark was shocked not really believing Taeil so he slapped his arm “Your jokes are getting better” he laughed while Taeil had a straight face “Im not kidding my girlfriend really said yes and we are getting married” Mark stopped laughing with a face of disbelief that made Taeil chuckle now “Your gonna settle with someone now?” he questions “Hahaha Mark yes I am” he pats Mark’s shoulder “Wow, why is everyone around me getting married, you should know that the single life is way better” he said while clicking his toungue “Being single is indeed better, but when you love someone you would prefer to be with them every minute and every second and then it would be better for you because you love each other” he said lovingly making Mark laugh “You are madly in love hyung” he laughs “I bet when you meet your match you will also be madly in love with her” Mark shook his head showing a big X sign with his arms “Loving someone crazily will only kill you ,plus I know for sure all they want from me is my money” he said protesting and Taeil gave him a comforting smile before he turns his back to return to work.

Mark headed to the rooftop to get some fresh air while doing so he reminisce his past about Mina and Taeil’s words about him finding true love, discovering that there is indeed a part of him that wants to meet someone that loves him for him and not his money but before he could think more he shrugs it off and in que his phone rings and the caller was his Dad, he answers the phone.

Dad : “Son how have you been there in Canada?” his father questions with a giddy tone

Mark: “Here alive and well” he answers bluntly

Dad: “That’s good, how about the company is it doing well?” he questions further

Mark: “Of course it’s doing exceptionally well, is that all you have to ask” he ask as he sense there is something more with his phone call

Dad: ” Well uhm son I need you to come to Korea asap” he said as he cleared his throat

Mark: “How about our company here, it needs me dad” he said, but actually deep down he is not ready to come back to Korea because coming back means revisiting his past.

Dad: “I already fixed that, your brother is coming to Canada to manage the company”

Mark: “But Dad I’m not really sure I actually don’t want to go back”

Dad: “Look Mark, honestly I wanted to ask you kindly first to hear your first reaction but I just want to inform you that even if you say no, I want you to come home here as soon as you can”

Mark: “Dad but I- I ok fine yes I will come go to Korea as soon as I can but do I just leave?”

Dad: “Yes Mark and starting the day you come back here you will manage the company in Korea plus you need to attend a charity ball this week Saturday”

Mark: “ Ok Dad I get it” he said with a defeated tone

And his Dad hangs up, he doesn’t really want to go and feels very hesitant having an inner conflict with himself, his phone rang again and the caller this time is Taeil telling him to get back to the meeting as lunch break was already over, he endured several more meetings after another until it was finally over to signify his day will finally end. He went back to his office massaging the temples of his forehead as he sat down to think about the many things that bothers him, he then pages for Taeil through his phone, Taeil rushed to see him asking what are his orders for him, Mark stood up and told Taeil “Book me a flight to Korea tomorrow” Taeil took note of it as schok embodied him “Tomorrow sir? And Korea?” he knows that Mark hates Korea for the reason behind it being Mina but he repeated “Yes tomorrow to Korea also you are coming with me” he said as he grabs his things preparing to leave work “B-but sir why shall I come with you and how about my wedding?” he inquires worriedly “It’s part of your job as my secretary and as for you wedding if your soon to be wife loves you so much she can wait oh and make sure it’s a one way ticket” Taeil was very schoked with Mark’s action but before he can speak up more Mark was waves him goodbye making his exit.

The next day Mark woke up with a not so good mood, he made his secretary Taeil pack for him and for which Taeil cursed him for, after packing they head in to his car to drive to the airport Mark tried to get some sleep but he can’t seem to get some with all the flashback memories filling him, they arrived in the airport, checked in and headed to the first class seats of the plane, the whole plane ride was spent with drinking, sleeping and eating for he past 15hrs and after all that has passed he finally hears the flight attendant proclaim” Flight #127 to Seoul South Korea has now landed” and there he was in the land he long abandoned, the land filled with bright yet devastating memories, he shut his eyes preparing himself, as he finally left the plane he feels the jet lag kicking and decided to go to his parents house, just as he thought everyone was asleep due to the very dim lighting he was surprised by his parents with a huge “WELCOME HOME” banner, and he thought to himself “This is it Mark you are really here”.

#nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct mark #nct smut #nct angst #nct mark smut #mark lee smut #mark lee angst #nct fanfic #nct 127 smut #richkid #neosmutcollective #kpopcatalog

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pieces-by-me · 3 years

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Little Mouse

Hello there! This is my piece for @youbloodymadgenius 1k Writing Challenge!! I originally wanted to post this sooner but I took too much on my plate and have now so many things to write that I put myself under pressure. The idiot I am.🤦🏼‍♀️

But anyway: Congratulations again on this huge step!! You deserve every single one of us and even more and I’m sure your blog will only grow bigger and better. I really hope you enjoy this and that you have an amazing day/night ✨

Words: 2827

Summary: Ivar’s night before the big war will be interrupted by a visitor from his past. Someone he has almost forgotten.

Prompt: I have always depended on the kindness of strangers. - A Streetcar Named Desire

Warning: mention of death, I think thats it. English is not my first language

He was standing over the table, browns lined in though. Somehow he had to do it. He had to beat Alfred and win this final battle. The battle over Wessex.

Ivar was in pain. Not only his brain, form constantly thinking of strategy upon strategy, but also his legs. They were killing him. The constant raining, the fog and the gloomy atmosphere shrouding Wessex into a climate that did not agree with Ivar. They hurt worst then on the coldest day in Kattegat or the snow filed days of Kiev. Maybe it was because Kattegat was his home and he was just too used to that. But this was close to agony. The wind blowing through his tent was not helping either.

Not finding the answer he was looking for after watching over the maps of the terrain he was done with it for the night. Tightly gripping his crutch while limping to his bed he made his way carefully from one side to the other. Sitting down he reached for his cup of mead and took a big gulp, hoping the warming liquid would help his sour mood and hurting bones. And after a couple of more cups he felt the familia tingling of warmness traveling through his body. It didn't stop his legs from causing him pain, but at least it was now more tolerable. With this he was able to take off his braces. Making him hiss and grimace as the metal left his limps.

But soon the soothing feeling came from not having his legs being trapped and pinched together that the hissing turned into a long sigh. Finally he could lay down and rest. His men and the one from Harald would want to know a plan by tomorrow but they would have to wait a bit, because he was to tired to think anymore. Something that didn't happen often. Taking of his heavy tunic and trowing it across the improvised room he closed his eyes with hoping to find sleep soon.

Ivar's hearing was always impeccable, a trait he was very proud of and something he would rub under the noses of his brothers every chance he would get. This time his hearing was the reason he woke up from a deep sleep. Someone was sneaking through his tent. And it was not his brother. That klutz was always too loud walking around. So who was mad enough to creep through his quarters while he was still in them? Someone with a death wish that was certain. He used his the arm he lay on to travel towards his hidden knife under his pillow. Something every son of Ragnar would sleep with. But just as his hand neared the edge of his pillow a voice filled with taunt went through his tent.

“I took your knife so you don't have to search for it.”

What in the name of Odin?

Not only was this voice teasing him, him a feared Viking throughout all the lands, but it was female and close to giggling. No use in trying to be stealthy he turned around to face this intruder and sat up.

When he looked at her he saw that she was a meek little thing. Thin, sickly and clothed in scraps. Standing there, proud and smiling, three meters from his bed. Twirling his knife in her hands. There was a glimmer of triumph in her eyes but something else sparkled alongside it. Admiration?

Pushing the initial shock away, Ivar slapped a smirk on his face and looked her deep in the eyes. Something about them was nagging on his brain. Like he had seen them a long time ago, or in a dream. But before he could say any words or threads she beat him to it.

“You are Ivar the Boneless.” It was definitely admiration.

“It has been a long time since I have seen you.”

That made him stutter a bit. So he had seen her. But when?

“I'm not surprised you don't remember me. I am a nobody. But I saw you. Way back when we both were little. Or at least younger, I never truly grew taller.” A sort of giggle that was close to sadness left her lips at her words. But it wasn't a wonder that she didn't grow. How could a body grow when there was never anything to feed it?

It was quiet then after her words. Ivar was in a state of remembering. Trying to pinpoint where he could have seen her. When they were younger and he was in Wessex, otherwise it wouldn't make any sense. She was Saxon, or at least not from his home. That could only have been when he was captured with his father by King Ecbert. His heart ached at the memory of his father. So it had to be there, but how could they have met, he was in in a cell or locked in a room for the whole ordeal.

A feeling like letting lose of a taut arrow whizzed through his brain as he glanced at her awaiting eyes again.

“You were crawling behind your father into the first ring of the city when....”

“You are the little mouse.” His voice was louder when he interrupted her.

For a moment she looked at him in pure amazement. Bewildered almost as if shot with his arrow. But then seconds went by and her looked formed to something of confusion.

“Mouse?”

“The little girl behind a barrel, hiding away. Tiny thing with huge eyes that stared at me. Like a mouse looking out of its hole.”

“So you really remember me?” Her voice and face went back to amazement and in her pure joy she took a step towards him. Almost as if not even realizing that she did. But he definitely saw it.

“The great Ivar the Boneless knows who I am.” Her voice was small but proud. Almost as if it wasn't a sentence meant for him to hear.

Ivar didn't know how he should react to this. He could yell for his guards, making them run in here and taking her a prisoner that broke into his tent. Probably punished and killed. But something held him back. He was intrigued of this women. Truly she was like a mouse. Small as one. Quiet as one. And also sneaky if he thought about it. Her hands must be quick and steady too if she was able to grab the knife quite literally from under his head. He decided to entertain her joy, and it had definitely nothing to do with the fact that she called him 'the great Ivar the Boneless.'

“Well since you know who I am apparently, tell me your name. Or do you want me to keep calling you mouse?” A self-satisfied smile grew on his face.

“I don't have a name and mouse sounds better then what I was called before.”

That again made him stop for a second. “You don't have a name? Don't be stupid, everyone has one.

“Don't call me stupid.” She held his knife steadily in her hands and this time her voice was void of all emotion. “My mother was crazy when I was born and the time I grew up with her so she called me by a different name every day. And after she died no one was there to give me one. So yes, I don't have one.”

“Well then I just have to call you Mouse then don't I. You looked small back then. And as you said there was no one there to help you. So how did you survive?” His smile turned into a bitter smirk after her mood change.

“Why do you want to know?”

“A person breaks into my tent at night, steals my knife and reveals that we already met once in this life. Why wouldn't I want to know how they did all that?”

Ivar could see that she was hesitating for a moment. But after thinking everything over, the good outcomes and the bad once, she started walking around in his tent. Went from one corner to the next and kept her eyes sweeping over every little thing that she could see.

'Probably looking for something to take with her' Ivar thought with a bitter kind of chuckle.

“I had to live on the streets since I was 5. Mother died and the men who owned our little house threw me out. Didn't need another mouth to feed, he said. So I had to learn how to live on my own. I was small and young so some people pitied me and gave me scraps of food of small measly coins. But I could also run real fast so I could rush around people and take things from them before they knew.”

There was more. He knew it, he could hear it in her tone.

“You said that Mouse was better then the name before, so what was that and who called you that?”

Her steps staggered for a tiny bit and he new that he was right.

“There was a men who helped me.” She was still looking at everything except Ivar. “He helped me, not out of kindness but because he saw that I had talent.” She wiggled her fingers at him and her lips turned up at her words. “I don't know his real name, he never told me but he always called me Pest. So I called him Oldie. He hated that.” Tiny laughter slipped out of her mouth and when she skipped through the room he caught her eyes for a second, seeing that she was in a memory.

“So I would say Mouse is better then Pest wouldn't you?”

Her eyes found his at her question and he only nodded. “So he helped you stealing?”

“I didn't only steal things you know? I sat out in my alley and begged. And I tried to find work. But no one wanted my help. How would anyone want me. I'm not strong and Oldie always said I have to big of a mouth. I can't keep it shut. And I needed training at the beginning. Had to run away a lot of times to escape the guards when people saw me.”

The smile that was threatening to grow on Ivars face was quickly pushed back down. He hadn't decided yet if he would let her go or not.

“For a long time in my life I have always depended on the kindness of strangers. I had to be lucky.Waiting that people took pity in me. I had to be patient and hungry for most of my days. But then I heard stories of you. People talked about the sons of Ragnar and even after I left York a couple of months after I saw you, I still listened to the people when they talked about you. How you avenged your father and later took York. How the cripple that I saw crawling around was now walking and riding a horse.”

Not even he noticed her standing beside his bed. He was too compelled by her words and the admiration that was back in her eyes that drew him in like a moth to a flame.

“But after hearing your stories. The stories of Ivar the Boneless and how he conquered and fought and of how he became King I realized that I didn't want to depend on anyone but myself anymore. If you could rise up to such a degree I didn't want to stay where I was” She sat down on his bed. Right next to him.

Never had he imagined that he would inspire someone in such a way. Raising fear and misery. Making people scream when they heard stories of him. Having poets sing about his conquests and destructions. All that was more logical then the admiration he got from this women before him. Confusion showed on his face.

“You knew that I could kill you the moment yet you stepped into my tent. But still you came.”

His question was met with a nod. Her eyes piercing his.

“You did not come here to steal my things did you?” After looking at her hands he added with a smirk. “Well except my knife.”

She smiled and and nodded her head again when she looked at the mentioned knife in her hands. Tightening her grip she slowly moved her hand towards him as if she wanted to give it back to him. He didn't react to her movements.

“I just wanted to see you again. You haven't left my mind for a long time.”

Her innocent honesty touched his heart in a strange way. She did not come to steal. She could have even killed him with his own knife. Gods she sat herself right next to him even though she knew that he could probably crush her like a bug with his bare hands. Still she risks her life just to see him one more time. To see the person that gave her hope all her life. Hope for something better. Hope that even a person that has to crawl though the dirt can become someone great.

Not knowing what he should do with her words and the warmness that spread though him all of a sudden he asked her the first thing that came to his mind.

“Where is Oldie?”

Bemusement at his question and sadness for her upcoming answer mixed on her face.

“I killed him.”

Shock and a slight silver of panic made itself known inside Ivar's head. Maybe he should have taken the knife back. But before it could grow bigger she continued.

“He was caught in a bear trap when we moved around. His wound did not get better so one night he asked me to end his pain. And I did.”

His panic subsided but with it grew a kind of sadness. Empathy maybe. He saw that her hands started to tremble just a tiny bit so he enclosed her small cold hands with his larger warm once.

The trembling stopped and a gasp was heard though the tent. She looked at their hands and took in his warmth. The difference in size was almost comical. And when he started to speak in a voice not many people would hear, quiet but tender, she met his eyes again. Feeling the squeeze of his hands.

“You should take my knife with you. You earned it by taking it from under my head.”

She wanted to protest, further proving that she really did not want to hurt him or steal from him.

But he wouldn't let her.

“A little mouse like you should have something to defend herself. You can't always run away to escape. You have this now as a gift. So you will take it.”

His last words were stoic. He wouldn't take it back and she knew it at his tone.

“Thank you.” Now even her voice sounded like a mouse. Tiny and high.

This was the first thing someone ever gave her as a gift. The sun that was slowly creeping up the horizon fell into his tent and with the new small form of light in it he could see that her eyes were shining again, this time with unshed tears of gratitude.

“Now run along little mouse. The sun is rising and you need to escape before the cats awake.”

He squeezed her hands one more time and then let her go.

Standing form his bed she did not broke the gaze they shared. Even when she made her way closer to his desk she still looked at him. Only now he could see the tiny gab under his desk. The one she probably sneaked her way into.

“Goodbye Ivar.”

“Goodbye little Mouse.”

“Hopefully I can see you again one more time. See if you still remember me then.”

“Oh I'm sure I will.”

With his last words her smile was as blinding as the upcoming sun. Oh yes he would not forget her.

She turned around reluctantly, bend down to the ground and crawled through the hole. The tent was empty again.

Ivar had to laugh. She really was a mouse. Sighing he laid back down, knowing that it was no use in trying to sleep again. He was wide awake and soon his brother and Harald were up to further discuss their plans. He really hoped that after this battle their paths would meet again. That he could talk to her more and learn more about her life.

But for now he had to win against Alfred. After that he could think of his little mouse again.

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Let me know what you thought! Feedback is really appreciated✨ have a nice day!

#history vikings #vikings #youbloodymadgenius1kcelebration #vikings ivar #vikings imagine #ivar the boneless #ivar ragnarsson #ivar lothbrok #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless x reader #ivar the boneless imagine #ivar imagine #ivar fanfic #mywork

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prettywordsyouleft · 4 years

Text

MonX Hospital | Wonho

Pairing: Lee Hoseok x reader

Genre: paramedic – hospital au / co-workers to lovers

Warnings: naturally given the au of an EMT/paramedic there are more than one reference to accidents, a death and medical terms. Also there is a small fight, kind of a one-night stand but not and I wrote Y/N as on the shorter side, sorry if this offends taller readers.

Word count: 3525

“Hey short stuff!” Hoseok greeted fondly and you rolled your eyes, looking over your shoulder briefly before turning back to cabinets you were stocking.

“You know, if you keep using that term, all the others are never going to stop teasing me for being the shortest here on the force.”

“There’s nothing wrong with it! Great things come in small packages.”

Your gaze fell directly to his loins and smirked. “Do they just?”

“Y/N!” Hoseok warned with a hearty chuckle, helping you with your final gear check in the back of the ambulance.

Truth be told, he liked that he got a rise out of you most days. Hoseok had been in the paramedic industry for four years now and out of all his co-workers he had been paired up with, you were definitely the most compatible. You made the long hours worth it, with the endless banter and the equally deep and thoughtful moments too. Working in such a high-stress, life or death environment was never easy to navigate but you had become a well-oiled machine together. Some of his greatest accomplishments had been at your side.

“Ready to go?” you questioned and Hoseok nodded, climbing into the driver’s seat of the vehicle and moving out of the parking lot. Every day was different on the job. Sometimes he spent more time in the office than behind the wheel, not being on the active dispatch team. Today, however, you were on the road, waiting to be called towards jobs that needed their assistance.

You wound down the window and placed your arm on the doorframe. “It’s too nice of a day to be cooped up in here.”

“You say that every day it’s sunny.”

“The sun will be gone soon and replaced with a busy Friday night, I bet you.”

“How much?”

“You’re willing to give me your money so freely?” you teased and Hoseok shrugged. “Twenty bucks that we only deal with drunk people.”

“Alright, the same if we have at least one sober patient.”

It wasn’t the most ideal thing to be waging on what type of work you would have for the night, but it kept it interesting.

And it made you delighted knowing he had to pay up at the end of the shift. “Oooh, we’ve been around so many intoxicated people tonight I think we’re starting to smell like a brewery!”

“You’re not funny,” Hoseok replied as he pulled out his wallet and handed you the money. You grinned and waved it around, doing a little dance alongside it. “What’s fair is fair.”

“You really do like giving your money away,” you stated, giving him a wink before going into the female changing rooms.

Hoseok waited for you to return out of uniform and jangled his keys. “Want a lift home?”

“You just like driving me around, don’t you?”

“I’m used to it, it’s not often you’re behind the wheel because-”

“Finish that sentence, I dare you,” you implored and Hoseok shrugged playfully, leaping away from your frustrated swipe in his direction. Chasing him out to his car, you just missed your chance to catch him when he slipped inside the driver’s side. Sighing and stalking around the vehicle, you slumped into your seat.

“Buckle up for safety!” he reminded as he turned the car on and you shot him an exasperated look. “Hey, everyone of any height needs to keep safe in a moving vehicle.”

“One day I’m going to get you so good and you’re going to regret every quip you’ve said to me.”

You managed to have him whining two days later before your shift, winning an arm wrestle against him twice. “It’s impossible!”

“Why, because your muscles are huge and mine aren’t? It’s called having a good strategy, you should look it up.”

Ducking his head as the other teammates in the break room laughed at his second defeat, Hoseok dived on the dispatch radio that went off on the table. “Let’s go, Y/N. I’ll show you just how good I am at my job instead.”

After attending a three-car pile up, thankfully all with minor injuries and only transferring one patient to the hospital for follow-up treatment, Hoseok glanced at you instead of pulling out of the ambulance bay.

You gave him a quizzical look. “What?”

“You did really well on that elderly woman’s treatment.”

“What are you talking about?” you muttered, picking up the tablet from its stand to log in more details of the event and close the report. “I just did my job, like you.”

“It seemed as if you got that leg injury stabilised before I was finished dressing the second car’s passenger though.”

“Did I?” You stopped tapping on the device’s keyboard and thought for a moment. “I guess I was efficient.”

“You’re a good partner to have in an emergency, Y/N.”

“What’s with all the praises, still upset about me winning earlier and trying to win me over now?”

“No,” he replied genuinely, and then frowned, trying to search for a reason for his compliment. When he started speaking, he hadn’t felt he needed one. But now, as he continued to look for an answer, he felt hot under his collar. Why were you affecting him today?

You looked at him and then smiled gently. “Thank you. I’ve learned from the best.”

“Me?”

“Chief Jung,” you corrected with a laugh and Hoseok groaned, leaping on another dispatched call and answering that they would take it.

The unease Hoseok was feeling towards you was fleeting and within a week it was back to the same constant bickering and comfortable nature you shared. The rapport you had together only strengthened after being faced with a fatal incident as well. It was never easy to be carrying someone in the back on a gurney headed for the mortuary, and the sombre silence in the cab only amplified this after driving back to the base. Hoseok gripped at the steering wheel at a set of lights, knowing somewhere tonight, a family would be grieving over the person they couldn’t get to fast enough to save.

“It’s the worst feeling,” you murmured as he began to drive off. Hoseok glanced at you briefly, your eyes stuck on the road ahead. “Even if it’s part of the job and not my first time, I don’t like it.”

“I don’t think we’re meant to like it.”

“I know it’s selfish, but I never want to be on the other side of the situation. I’ve had to treat friends before and I know it’s my job to remain calm and collected in a stressful environment like that was. However, say it was you; I don’t think I would be able to.”

Hoseok reached over to pat your hand lightly. “Hey, don’t go thinking like that.”

“It could happen.”

“It could,” he agreed softly, images procuring in his mind with coming up on a scene and finding you within it. He shuddered and blinked it away rapidly. “But I know you’ll do your best for me. And likewise, I’d give my all to save you.”

“Ah, we’re so emotional,” you stated shakily, clapping your hands together. “Does everyone crack like this after losing someone?”

“I don’t know, but you’re not alone in this tonight.”

You grew silent again until you climbed out of the cab and grabbed your things. Turning to look at Hoseok, you smiled sadly. “Want to go get a drink?”

“I was going to suggest the same thing.”

Once showered, changed and now seated in a bar with a drink in hand, you seemed a bit more alert. Hoseok smiled as he pushed the bowl of hot chips he had purchased towards you. You eyed the move cautiously. “What?”

“You need more colour in your cheeks.”

“I’m not feeling faint,” you replied sternly, though took a chip and blew on it lightly before chewing it.

“I know, but eating is a vital step in recovery for us.”

“I’d rather drink.”

“It won’t go away with the alcohol,” he reminded and you nodded distractedly. He could tell you were definitely more subdued than usual tonight. Looking around the bar, he pointed across the room. “Want to play a round of pool?”

“You only suggested that since I suck at it.”

“There’s always room for improvement,” he offered and you picked up the bowl of chips and your drink, standing up and gesturing to a free pool table.

It wasn’t until your second game where you had loosened up enough, laughing loudly at sinking the wrong ball than the one you were originally aiming for.

“At least you got one in!”

“I’m so ridiculously useless at this game!” you replied with another laugh, picking up your drink and taking a gulp.

Hoseok sunk the final three balls and you clapped at his triumph. He picked up his jacket and nudged you playfully. “Let’s call it a night, huh?”

“Good idea before you get drunk and start singing out of tune like you did last time,” you quipped and Hoseok reached out for you as you scooted out of his way. Accidentally, he knocked the man at the neighbouring table in the process.

And then, you turned around and let out a string of explicit words. Hoseok was conflicted. On one hand, his heart was thumping erratically at your instant defence for him, but with the way they acted towards him, he wasn’t exactly able to put in his best bid to protect you with the shock still keeping him to his spot.

“Sorry mate, I didn’t-”

A sickening punch came right for him in response and Hoseok was disorientated. He wasn’t expecting it at all and wobbled as he regained his balance. You came into his view immediately, examining his cheek.

He was in a daze, wondering if it was all a dream as he watched you twist the man’s arm who had just punched him now behind his back and made him drop to his knees. Details seemed to remain hazy even when you were helping him into the back of a cab and giving over your address. It wasn’t until you made him sit down on the edge of your couch inside your home and placed a bag of ice over his cheek that he seemed to snap out of his reverie.

“Did you just do all that?” he wondered out loud and you grinned at him.

“What, save your ass from doing something stupid?”

“I think you were a little too reckless compared, don’t you?”

“There was no need to punch you, and he had to apologise for it.”

Hoseok mirrored your grin as you rearranged the bag you were holding against his cheek. And then it faded, sliding forward to kiss your lips.

It had to be the alcohol, he concluded as he passionately continued to kiss you. There would be no other explanation for the hunger that you were showering him in otherwise. You had never expressed a desire for him like this. Although he had confused moments, you were impartial to dating and even frowned upon it in the workplace. So the events of the night and the alcohol consumed could be the only explanation for this.

Not that he needed one right now. He was all too immersed in running his hands along your curves, gasping when you hastily undid the buttons of his shirt. He enjoyed your instant appreciation of his exposed torso, the licking of your bottom lip urging him forward to capture them again, to continue making you his.

And then the fever cast over you caused you to press into his injury, a sudden hiss leaving him and ruining the mood. He panicked. “No, I’m fine!”

“More than fine,” you breathed, tenderly running your hand over his chest. “But you’re injured, let’s stop here.”

“Really?” he asked with disappointment as you puckered up your swollen lips and nodded sadly. You patted him on the chest before getting up, although Hoseok reached for your hand to halt your departure. “Where are you going?”

“To get you some blankets to sleep with, unless you want to uh… share my bed?”

He nodded then, following you down the hallway to your room.

The alcohol couldn’t hide either of your awkwardness now that the heated moment was left back in the living room. You looked at the space and then cringed. “We can’t, you know.”

“I know. Let’s just sleep,” he assured and you nodded, climbing into the bed first before Hoseok followed you in. Tense for a moment, you then rolled towards him, Hoseok slipping his arm after your neck.

Exhaustion washed over you both, pulling you into your dreams before you could question it any further.

When he woke in the morning, you were already up and making breakfast. Hoseok leaned against the doorframe and watched you move around the small kitchen, smiling to himself. He realised he could get used to this type of relationship with you. Those flustered moments and the unease he had felt thus far made more sense now that he had kissed you.

He was certain you could become better partners to each other on and off the clock.

His growing romantic notions were clipped short by your response over breakfast, however.

You smiled at him politely as you spread jam on your toast. “Your face looks a mess.”

“You did a good job of making me feel better.”

“It was a slip-up, it won’t happen again. Alcohol does strange things to people,” you replied and Hoseok’s expression faltered. You continued to eat your breakfast as if the heated embrace you had experienced wasn’t that special. Were you really that unaffected by it? Hoseok was sure you had felt what he had too.

Maybe you were only acting on impulse from the alcohol after all.

So he swallowed back the remnants of his feelings and chuckled. “Right, we had too much to drink.”

“Don’t go getting punched in any more bars,” you added on with a smirk.

And that was that. He had been lucid when it all happened, and he knew you weren’t even tipsy. Yet you both chalked it up as a drunken experience, working together as if you hadn’t had your hands all over his torso as his tongue wasn’t battling with yours all those weeks ago.

He had to admit, he was rather relieved when his planned time off rolled around. For two weeks, he wouldn’t have to endure through the unexpected moments where he’d catch himself thinking back to that night. Little things, such as you tying your hair back, were enough to give him a seconds’ flash of memory from that night.

Yet, you were unaffected, impartial even.

Or so he thought.

It was ironic how life worked in mysterious ways and if this was how he was going to get your attention, he wasn’t so sure he’d be willing to go through with it more than once. The impact of the other car hitting his was deafening, the screech of the wheels across the asphalt causing Hoseok to clamp his eyes shut momentarily.

He had attended far too many accidents but this was his first being involved in one.

When the noise all came to a halt, he opened his eyes again, assessing himself for injury. He had a few cuts on his arm from the glass shards on impact but nothing was substantially painful. Opening the door to his side of the car that thankfully hadn’t been the one to receive the impact, he went over to the driver in the other car, checking them for injuries as he called for emergency services.

Hoseok didn’t even notice it was you called onto the scene at first, too busy applying pressure to the thigh injury sustained on the other driver. However, he knew it was you who called his name out desperately, ignoring the other paramedic who was calling for you to calm down.

You dropped to your knees beside him, shaking visibly as you reached out for his face, looking him over as tears fell from your eyes. Hoseok smiled softly. “I’m okay, Y/N. We need to help Mr Laing here. He’s got three deep lacerations to his thigh and a suspected concussion.”

You merely stared back at him, still holding onto his face. “I told you not to do this to me.”

“Y/N,” he called, shaking you firmly. “Snap out of it, you need to help this man first.”

“I’ll do it,” Curtis announced and pushed you aside, stepping in to stabilise the patient. You seemed to snap out of your initial shock and assisted Curtis with getting the patient into the back of the ambulance. And then you came back to where Hoseok was now standing and took his arm with a tremble. “Come on, you’re getting checked out too.”

“I’m fine,” he told you but you ignored the response, guiding him into the extra seat in the ambulance. You seemed to have regained enough control over yourself to administer the correct care to the patient on the short trip to the hospital, and once you had handed him over to the awaiting medical team at the Emergency Department, you turned back to Hoseok, your knees starting to give way.

Lurching forward, he grabbed you before you fell. “Y/N, are you okay?”

“No, I’m in shock,” you told him simply, staring up at him intently. “How dare you get hurt and be there when I arrive on the scene.”

“I didn’t quite expect the guy to hit me in the intersection when he did.”

You shook your head and thumped him on the chest. “What are you doing getting involved in accidents anyway?!”

Hoseok shot Curtis a helpless expression, who gestured for you to stay with him as he closed the back door to the ambulance. Sighing, Hoseok walked slowly inside to the bed a nurse called him to and sat you down beside him. You didn’t let go of his injured arm, staring at the cuts over his forearm forlornly.

“Y/N,” he murmured and you hummed in response, tearing up. “Why are you being like this?”

“Am I meant to be fine about you getting injured?!”

“No, it’s just…” He paused to take in a breath. “I’m okay, it’s just a bit of soreness settling in from the impact and some cuts. I’m not dying yet you’re acting like I’m critical right now.”

“You mean too much to me to end up here like this,” you confessed shakily, blinking as a tear slid down your cheek. “You’re meant to help those who get hurt, not be the one hurt.”

“I know. You really are in shock, huh?”

“I like you too much for you to be hurt,” you continued and Hoseok nodded and then stopped, widening his gaze upon your face.

“Wait, like me too much?”

“Of course, I do!”

“As your partner?”

“As a man,” you corrected, wincing a little when you brushed your fingers too close to one of his wounds. “I know you didn’t think much of that night but I did.”

“Woah, hang on a minute!” Blinking rapidly, Hoseok then grabbed your chin with his uninjured arm to pull your focus up to his eyes. “You were the one who brushed it off for being intoxicated.”

“I didn’t want to put you in a bind by my feelings,” you mumbled and Hoseok laughed. You gaped at him. “Why are you laughing?!”

“Because we’re idiots! I’ve liked you a whole lot too, I just thought it was one-sided.”

“Definitely not.”

“So it really scared you to find me there, then.”

“If you ever get injured without me being there again,” you started, heaving in a deep breath as you shook your head with contempt. “Actually, you better not ever get hurt in front of me again.”

“You’re really protective, you know? You saved me in the bar and now you’re asserting yourself again for my safety. It’s really adorable.”

“I would hardly call this situation adorable, Hoseok.”

He grinned despite your lamenting statement, leaning over to peck your lips. You froze and Hoseok kissed you again before pulling you in closer to his side. He sucked in a breath when it hurt a little to do and you snapped out of it enough to look at him with worry.

“Are you okay?”

“Of course I am, I have paramedic Y/N at my side to help me.”

“What am I going to do with you?”

“I might need extra treatment after we’re done here getting this sorted out,” he admitted and you tilted your head to the side in confusion. Hoseok smirked. “With how much you like me, I might end up becoming lovesick.”

“God, you’re hopeless,” you told him despite a smile tugging at your lips. Nestling into his side, you buried your head into his neck and pressed your lips into him.

“Maybe you’ll need treatment too. But that’s okay, we’re medically trained professionals. I’ll save you and you can save me, deal?”

Looking up at him with another smile, you let out a breathy laugh. “Deal.”

_________________

Next: Minhyuk

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filmwuju · 3 years

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[TRANS] Character Introduction: People around Seongyeom & Mijoo

Ki Jeongdo (Male, late 50s) Seongyeom's father / Four-term assemblyman

A politician who was an athlete. Back then, he was renowned as the nation's thief for snatching actress Yook Jiwoo, who was the nation's first love, at the prime of her youth. Rising to fame, he threw his hat into the political ring, as if he was waiting for this. Him moving into his wife's family home as a live-in son-in-law was also for the campaign fund.

Managing a family that can be recognized by citizens during elections was also Jeongdo's long time plan. As a man, Jiwoo was his trophy; and being the father of siblings who are national athletes, he was able to bear national sentiment. Seongyeom's home becoming a show window family was entirely Jeongdo's volition. Family means gathering together when needed and taking a harmonious photo, that's it. Just one is hard enough already, how incredible is it to raise two national representatives of South Korea? He regards fatherly love as an instinct, and thinks what he's doing to his children is true love. Not knowing that for the person receiving the unwanted love, that love can become violence.

He has always been privileged with vested rights, and since he's in the upper class, he always lived with pride. He has never doubted his capability of going higher, higher up. Most politicians are likewise, their final goal is running for the presidential election. And since they're running, naturally, they want to win. But Seongyeom, who used to be an obedient chess piece, keeps causing trouble. So he's contemplating on how to quash him.

Yook Jiwoo (Female, late 50s) Seongyeom's mother / Actress

A top actress hailed as the nation's first love. If there's Suzy in the 2000s, there was Yook Jiwoo in the 1980s. During the early days of her career, she went by the stage name Jiwoo, without the Yook, because her last name comes off as stubborn. This was her agency's policy. Later, Jiwoo saw her name on a movie poster and threw a huge fit. Since then, she goes by her full name that sounds stubborn for a "female" actor.

She's a perfect actress named as the Queen of Cannes; but she's a born actress who, in pursuit of her career, is far from even the letter M in the word "mother", much less be an excellent one.

Ki Eunbi (Female, 30) Seongyeom's sister / Pro golfer

She doesn't know how to love in an ordinary way, because she's never lived an ordinary life. The world's number one female golfer. With that title alone, men—regardless of their skin color—approached her, not knowing how Eunbi is like after falling in love. There are no exceptions—whether they have a strong build, or got a straightforward personality. By the time they realize how scary Ki Eunbi is not as the queen of golf, but as a lover, it's already too late—so accept your fate. Once she takes a bite, she does not let go until she gets sick of it. There's no place to escape unless you go to the edge of the world.

Of course there's an exception. When their love for her dies down, she lets go without hesitation. It was always easier to figure out separation than love. The same goes for her family. The time she spent with them in her whole life wouldn't amount to even one year because of her trips abroad. They always separated the moment they met, and she felt worried at the thought of Seongyeom, who would be alone in the huge house. My poor little brother. Their father, who likes to rank, compares them frequently; the media, who likes to chatter, bashes him regularly. My little brother Seongyeom. Seongyeom, whose sin is getting born as my little brother.

Of course she worked hard, but Eunbi's talent played a bigger part. Her sense of distance is more outstanding than others, and she's exceptional in controlling her strength. They said the only thing left for a first placer to do is to fall downwards, but Eunbi didn't know how to fall. If she didn't have talent, would it be a different story? While having these thoughts, she saw Seongyeom and thought, hmm.. it would be stressful to have no talent.

She's even sick of the first place now. Feeling bored, she was thinking whether she should retire and rest a bit, but her beloved little brother caused big trouble. What can I do? My little brother wants to do it. It's an older sister's duty to act as his shield, and I won't die from doing it for a few years more—so just for a bit longer, I'd have to stay in the first place for him.

Kim Wooshik (Male, 20) National track and field athlete

He lost his parents at a young age and was raised by his grandmother. Unlike someone his age, he believes in superstitions. But rather than saying he believes in them, it's more like he's familiar about life and is treated as a precocious child. His self-sufficient grandmother clothed him in cleanly washed clothes even though they're old, and did everything she can so that Wooshik can grow up as a bright and optimistic person. Wooshik, who grew up just like how she raised him to be, was perfectly kind and honest. He wasn't good at studying but he was smart; his hands were slow but his feet were fast. Naturally, Wooshik chose track and field. It was also a sport that he could do even with no money. He fell in love at first sight after watching Seongyeom's race, ran all the way with Seongyeom as his goal, and became a national athlete. It's his wish to run a relay race in the same competition with Seongyeom before the latter retires. No records or competition, just as Ki Seongyeom and Kim Wooshik.

He once saw a passage that said forgiveness is the biggest revenge. That's like saying the powerless can't do anything but to forgive. Ever since his days in sports high school, he experienced countless assaults and abuse under the force of power. And you say that's the biggest revenge? It was a day when he got beaten by his seniors as usual. He roughly wiped the blood from his nose using his sleeves. The superstitions Wooshik believed in were of no help at all in the face of reality. The one who offered Wooshik practical help was Seongyeom. He told him that forgiving is the victim's right. He told him that he doesn't need to forgive if he doesn't want to. As the only person who told him that, how could Wooshik not admire him.

Kwon Young-il (Male, 29) National track and field athlete

South Korea's track and field record holder. As the best sprinter, he lives up to his reputation of South Korea's No.1 track and field athlete who receives unconditional support from track and field fans. He's a narcissist who cares about nothing but himself, but takes an interest only in Seongyeom. It's because he's jealous. Whenever he's free, he picks a quarrel with the forever runner-up Seongyeom and ends up saying foolish words. I'm the real first placer, but why does it feel like I'm being pushed back by Ki Seongyeom every single time?

But still, as Seongyeom's long-time colleague, and as a sportsman, he's a friend who supports Seongyeom for the path he's going.

Kim Hyunjin (Male, early 40s) Assemblyman Ki Jeongdo's aide

Would there be another expression that puts a limit on Hyunjin as much as the phrase "aide by nature" does? However, he is a capable aide—to the level that everyone would agree in unison—who grasps everything about the Ki family, including Assemblyman Ki himself. He's machine-like, making one wonder if his heart is made of steel; he does not feel things like conscience and warmth.

Park May (Female, 35) CEO of imported film distributor May

Her name was originally Maehwi. Was it her dad's poor hearing, or her mom's poor pronunciation? Her dad, who heard Maehwi as May, registered her birth with the name "May". For a long time, her mom called her Maehwi and her dad called her May. To May, the actual party concerned, it didn't matter whatever they called her by. What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

May believed in fundamental things. This was also due to her peaceful and cool nature; is it because of that? Entering a translation and interpreting university at the top of her class and finishing her studies in a graduate school of the same expertise, she was walking the so-called elite course. But then she set aside her career path and went into foreign film translation. The reason was simple. Because films are fun, but film festivals are freaking fun. She was in Busan when she first met Mijoo. At the Busan International Film Festival, which she skipped her class for, their sharing of the same bed at the guesthouse was the beginning of their relationship. After getting to know her, she found out that she's a distant junior of hers under the same department in their university. Mijoo was 21.

There is no bad Mijoo in this world. This is the pet theory of May as the dog owner of Mijoo. Mijoo—rough and clumsy, which makes her cute and pure too—was like a dog sometimes, she had no hesitations in baring her claws at arrogant things. From then on, May took it upon herself to be the dog owner. She was worried. If Mijoo meets a good person, it feels like she'd overcome her struggles and become extremely successful*, and if she meets a bad person, it feels like she'd get stabbed with a knife in the midst of selling drugs in a backstreet. All or nothing—Mijoo, who has no in between, didn't have a lot of things. She said she's never met a nice adult in her 20 years of life. Ah... I'm stuck. No choice, I'd have to be the nice adult for Mijoo, she decided**. Just like that, she spent around 10 years of time with her, as a senior and roommate.

She had more curiosity and energy before compared to now, but she feels no excitement nor interest in whatever she does these days. When she was young, she simply felt that her older seniors were cool, but now that she's at that age, she understood. There's just no fun in doing anything. She's done them all, tasted them all; the energy she used to pour out without reservation had been exhausted since long time ago.

Around that period of ennui in her life, an unsavory incident broke out in the translation industry she's been working in. She left translation behind and set up an imported film distributing company. As a small company that mainly imported independent films and art films, it involved a lot of legwork, so business trips is a norm. Her dream was to be a salaried employee for a lifetime, but why'd she become a CEO? CEOs like salaries too.. she didn't know of this fact until she became one herself. Is this, depressing? May, who was mentally healthy, immediately began her visits to the psychiatrist. Antidepressants help people who help themselves, and May wants to help herself properly. And since she's on it already, it's better to be bright and healthy.

T/N: * The idiom used in the original text is 개천에서 용 난다, which literally means "a dragon rises up from a creek." Often translated as "rags to riches," it is used to refer to someone from a humble background who overcame their hardships and became extremely successful.

** A longer translation that would more properly express the nuance of the original sentence would be: May decided that: I'm not the best choice, but since there's no one else to do it, there's no choice but for me, at least, to be the good adult for Mijoo.

(orig post link from writer Park Shihyun’s DC gallery post)

#run on #run on trans #run on kdrama #run on drama #runon #run on jtbc #jtbc run on #run on icons #jtbc #kdrama #korean drama

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fmdrorinarchive · 3 years

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━━━━━━ 𝖆 𝖓𝖊𝖜 𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝖆𝖕𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖆𝖈𝖍𝖊𝖘… 💋 〈 Below the cut is an intro for Michelle Chae of Chroma // Please 𝖑𝖎𝖐𝖊 𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖕𝖔𝖘𝖙 to plot, and thanks for reading !! 〉

𝖘𝖊𝖑𝖋-𝖎𝖓𝖙𝖗𝖔𝖉𝖚𝖈𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓.

Hi again, friends !! This is Boone ( 19+ / MDT / HE & HIM ) and you may recognize me as the typist behind Vive’s maknae, Yoo Rioh. I’ve decided to bring in another muse! Like Rioh, Michelle’s just starting out in her career and I can’t wait to see her grow. ♡ To find out more, please read onwards !! I can’t wait until she gets to meet all of your muses !! Oh, here are a few trigger warnings to look out for if you continue to read: mentions of drug addiction and parental abandonment; mentions of slut-shaming and misogyny.

𝖖𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖐 𝖋𝖆𝖈𝖙𝖘.

MICHELLE RORIN CHAE, b. 19990620

BORN & RAISED IN VALLEY GLEN, CA

FORMER COMPETITIVE FIGURE SKATER

BC ENT / CHROMA & CHROMA EMBER

SUB VOCALIST, SUB RAPPER, VISUAL

𝖋𝖚𝖗𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖗 𝖎𝖓𝖋𝖔.

RESEMBLES KIM MINJEONG ( WINTER ) OF ÆSPA

SHE STANDS AT A MODERATE 163 CM ( 5 FT, 3 IN )

CISGENDER FEMALE, USES SHE / HER PRONOUNS

GEMINI CANCER CUSP, YEAR OF EARTH RABBIT

HETEROFLEXIBLE, KINSEY SCALE #2, CURIOUS

𝖉𝖊𝖊𝖕 𝖉𝖎𝖛𝖊.

TRAJECTORY / Michelle was born in Valley Glen, CA to David and Heesun Chae—the owners of a struggling restaurant in their neck of the woods. As a kid, she trained to become a figure skater, but when her father bailed on her and her mother because of a drug addiction, she couldn’t afford the expenses for coaching, etc. so she retired from it for now. / Instead of being able to truly enjoy her youth, she had to pick-up after school jobs in order to help her mom with bills, and for awhile, her only source of comfort was spent with guys that showed her affection. Her relationships with boys grossly gave her the title of a “whore” to her peers, so she sadly didn’t have many friends to lean on in high school. / Originally traveled to Korea to earn a nursing degree from SNU, but got scouted by BCE on her first day—prompting her to drop out of school to focus primarily on training. This enraged her mother as the plan was for her to become a nurse so they no longer had to worry about money. / After only a few months of training, she’s selected to debut as a member of Chroma. OTHER FACTS / Not mentioned in her biography is the fact that she grew up in a fairly religious family. Mom and dad were raised Christian, so they raised their daughter the same. She was never into church, though. She always felt as though she was being judged harshly by the others in attendance. Hell, she even thought that of her mother quite often. Her style was never as pristine as her mom would’ve liked and no one understood her interests in the occult, in anime, in video games, and so forth. By the time she was eighteen, she stopped showing up to service altogether—which her mom didn’t like, but respected nevertheless. / She still likes to skate in her spare time... but she doesn’t really have any nowadays. You’d think that she’d be in the dance line due to her past in performance, but since she stopped skating, she’s lost a lot of her flexibility and power. She hopes to improve though! / She’s never had many close female friends, so she looks forward to hopefully bonding with her members as they grow closer. This is something she wants to change about herself a lot. INSPIRATION / For Michelle, I pulled a lot of inspiration from a few different characters from television series, mainly Cassie Howard from Euphoria; Manuella “Manny” Santos from Degrassi: The Next Generation; Tessa Campanelli from Degrassi JH / High; and Britney Orton from We Are Who We Are, among others!

𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖘𝖔𝖓𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞.

01. On the surface, Michelle’s reasonably pleasant to be around. She has a deep interest in people, especially those she’s close to, so if you’re a friend of her’s, she genuinely wants to know all about you and deeply cares about how you’re feeling / doing. Some might perceive this high level of intrigue as romantic, and she’s... not ever really going to confirm or deny those types of feelings. She’s a huuuge believer in love and doesn’t want to end up like her parents, but also has no idea what she’s doing when it comes down to it. She didn’t have the best example to look up to, so you know. 02. Michelle’s really talkative, and she’s witty, and she knows how to charm the pants off of most people, and while that’s loud and present in her character, she also has many faults. For one, her emotions are really strong and her mood is easily affected by others and events that occur in day-to-day life, so she has a tendency of being moody. That, and she also isn’t the best “rule follower” either. Does she care that there’s a dating ban in place for she and Chroma? Absolutely not. Did she experiment with drugs and alcohol in high school when they were forbidden to her? Yes. She’s not the best at making decisions, but she believes that taking risks shape better people... even if that belief’s a little skewed. 03. Some people say that she might be a little too “sweet” for her own good sometimes and she’s prone to getting her heart stomped on, but she’s not all that innocent. While she’s a huge believer in love, she’s not exactly good at it. She enters in and out of relationships all the time, and she loves the honeymoon phase, but whenever it starts to get too “real,” she gets nervous and bails. Abandonment issues FTW? A very strong possibility. 04. She’s also empathic to a fault on occasion. It’s easy for her to pick up on the emotions of others and it’s hard for her not to carry them on her shoulders. She’s had a difficult time learning that boundary for herself, and well, at this point, she doesn’t even realize that it’s a thing. Mother taught her how to be kind and nurturing towards loved ones, but she can take it to a degree that isn’t healthy for anyone—especially if love / romance is involved. 05. Her chattiness can sometimes land her in trouble, but that’s because she has a hard time filtering what she says. Her mind runs a mile a minute and her speaking patterns are similar, so sadly, she can’t control what comes out of her mouth sometimes... pray for her.

𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖉-𝖈𝖆𝖓𝖔𝖓𝖘.

01. If I were to make any sort of “claim” on what I imagine her voice sounding like, it’d be a lot like J from STAYC, maybe with a little mix of fromis_9′s Seoyeon. There’s a delicate husk there, and it’s a little lower than the others, but it’s extremely recognizable and unique. That is her biggest asset as a singer and rapper. She’s not had enough time to truly make drastic improvements to either skill given her short stint as a trainee, but she’s working really hard to get better and doesn’t want to be seen as just a pretty face forever. 02. Dance-wise, she’s actually pretty strong—just nowhere near as trained as Chroma’s dance line. Due to her extensive background in figure skating ( and a little bit of ballet ), she’s got a really natural gracefulness to all of her moves; a fluidity that allows for strong body rolls, etc. Additionally, she focuses on clarity and sharpness, angles, as that’s what she’s most familiar with. Michelle also has great control of her hip-area and often adds variations to moves using her hips. If I were to select a reference, I’d say Oh My Girl’s Arin and TWICE’s Mina. Some of her faults are that her movements are often too light and soft, so whenever power is needed, she lacks strength there. She also has a tendency of making choreography look a little “sensual” without necessarily intending to. 03. Loooves when people call her Mish or Chelle/Shell. Honestly, she adores nicknames—both giving and receiving them. She’s also a heavy user of pet names in conversation, but tries her best to stop if people are uncomfortable with it. 04. Michelle’s typically not afraid of making her affections known, even early on. She’s the type that’ll definitely hit on you if she thinks you’re handsome / attractive, and goes with the flow if the person responds positively. If she gets really cozy with you, she can come off as clingy in the beginning, but that typically subsides with time. That’s applicable to both her friendships and her romantic relationships. 05. Her public image is similar to that of Alice in Wonderland and Snow White—beauties with fair skin and wide eyes; imaginative and curious; trapped in purity and sweetness; soft, feminine, and delicate—but with a slight “edge” because of her rapping and quick wit. It’s hard for her to keep up with it all the time—especially when she’s a bit different personally—and she’s barely starting in her career. She hopes it evolves over time. 06. She’s decided to go by her Korean name as an idol because it made the most sense, to be honest. Though, a few other stage names tossed around were: Chelle, Wooah, Hayan, Rozy, and Baekseol. In the end, she’s happy she’s just Rorin or Michelle to everyone.

𝖕𝖑𝖔𝖙-𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖊𝖘.

This section will be updated when her plots page is complete. Please look forward to it !! I’m getting it done as fast as I can. In the meantime, I’m happy to brainstorm and look over your muses’ plots pages too !! ♡

#〈 INTRODUCTION. 〉#〈 YOUR ONE & ONLY. 〉

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livlepretre · 3 years

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Ooh, let’s talk character interpretation! I have two questions, but they are both long, so I am going to do them in separate asks.

1.) I’m of the opinion that The Originals portrayed Klaus as a father in a way that doesn’t line up with how he actually is. I think that had more to do with the fact that it was a CW show, and they wanted a redemption arc for the character. Obviously they weren’t going to go for anything that could be misconstrued as actual child abuse- I.e verbal, emotional, or physical abuse. How do you think that Klaus with a child would actually be? Elena would protect her children at all costs, so I know she would take care of any problem she saw arising with Klaus’s parenting skills, but let’s for arguments sake say that Elena and her survival skills don’t factor into this. Klaus grew up dealing with every type of child abuse in the book. Her was demeaned, belittled, and physically beaten, and we know this is what started his psychological issues. I totally agree with your FE interpretation of the Mikaelson incest problem and the fact that it all stems from Klaus and his power issues. He wants to control Rebekah because he wants her to stay and love him above all and manupulation through sex factors into that. Sadly, this dynamic is a problem in the real world, and is extremely unhealthy, vile, and illegal—especially because Rebekah is around a decade his junior and permanently stuck in the mindset of a teenage girl (side note: I remember in FE, Rebekah says she gave her virginity to him. I’d love to hear your take on how that line was crossed and how many years after they had become vampires that this happened. It is certainly a moral line that is hard to cross, although they were born in the 10th century.) Klaus also won’t hestitate to hurt his family emotionally and physically when they upset him whether this is killing their loved ones or daggering them. I guess I just want to know if you think Klaus-who remembers being an abused child- would ever continue this pattern of behavior with a child of his own and if so, would there be lines he would refuse to cross? I feel like he wouldn’t intentionally start out doing abusive things (like how he didn’t immediately start abusiving his sibilings), but once he loses his temper and does something once, the lines of what he is willing to do get blurry. He’s definitely not a stable individual and is a creature of habit- especially when he starts to feel as though he isn’t being respected or when he gets ignored from those he wants to love him. Finally, do you think there would be a huge difference between Klaus raising a boy or girl? We saw how Marcel turned out (also, the dynamic between Rebekah and Marcel when she started out as an Aunt figure and turned into a romantic partner is something that I feel like was strange and very Klebekah in the 1920s weird where it was clearly there but no one ever chose to expand on it or even mention it in the narrative? But I digress!), and Klaus is clearly threatened by the fact that Marcel grew up and was able to take over Nola despite the fact that Marcel was just doing what Klaus taught him. He sees Marcel as a threat, but if he had a daughter, I feel like he would end up treating her sort of in a Rebekah like manner where she isn’t ever really viewed as a threat, just a girl throwing a trantrum. Idk, there is just so much to think about here and immortality definitely screws with your perception of what’s okay and what isn’t. I’m very curious to see how you think all this would play out long term.

You’re spoiling me with these questions and I pretty much agree with your thoughts on Klaus’s general fucked-uppery.

I’ve put a great deal of thought into “Klaus as a parent,” both because of the show, and because of ficcish things. I think he’s acutely aware of all of the ways that his own father failed him, and so he would be actively really determined to have the kind of relationship with his own child that he never had with his father. His intentions there would be good, and probably better than his intentions with his siblings, since a child is a more direct extension of himself, but the question would be whether he is actually capable of being a good parent. It’s true that victims of childhood abuse often end up tragically rehashing the same patterns with their own children, but it’s equally true that many are able to break the cycle. I tend to think that Klaus would actually be exceptionally good with his children while they were still children. He shows in canon that he was very good with talking to Marcel and making him feel valued when he was a little boy still-- Klaus empathizes very well with children, and I think while he has tremendous difficulty understanding the emotions of others, at least when they are not mirrors of how he would feel, his own experiences of feeling neglect and belittlement and fear as a child would guide him in how to make a child feel loved, heard, special, etc. And of course, a child is able to give a parent the sort of unconditional, center-of-the-universe love that Klaus craves. The problem would come about in the transition from childhood to adolescence. His problems with Marcel, for example, stem from Marcel becoming a young man with ambitions and interests of his own-- no longer idolizing Klaus, no longer his shadow and perfect companion, but instead someone testing boundaries and breaking away.

How Klaus handles a teenage and later an adult child is a more complicated question. Yes, I think he would ultimately have an easier time with a female child, because Klaus is a misogynist and could therefore slip into a familiar dynamic of treating that child as a pet-- he could shower her with gifts and affection and never take her too seriously, much like Rebekah. A boy would inevitably grow into a rival, I think... or, almost inevitably. Whether or not the son even construes himself as a rival would be irrelevant if Klaus decides he’s a rival. It’s that same problem as with Marcel all over again-- if he stays by Klaus’s side, it’s not an issue, but if he pursues his own life... The son thing is also hard, because that son would inevitably be, to Klaus, a direct reflection of himself, and I’m convinced that Klaus would desire nothing more than to create the kind of father/son relationship he badly desired... and so the expectations and pressures would be tremendous for a boy.

There’s a big question to address along the lines of: would Klaus treat his adolescent/adult children the way he treats his siblings? It seems to me like the essential difference between sibling vs child relationships would be that Klaus, an actual narcissist, would inevitably see his children as extensions of himself, whereas his siblings each represent the greatest threats to his ego, his power, and his image of himself. He therefore exerts control over them, especially Rebekah, who is the easiest for him to control (as both the youngest and the only female, and also, since she is the most insecure and I would argue traumatized of all of them). He’s high-handed to the extreme, daggering them whenever he so chooses, therefore controlling whether they even get to actually live, deciding on which lovers are acceptable for Rebekah (and sometimes his brothers), dragging them all over the planet, lying to them all for centuries on end... the list goes on. There’s a lot of interpersonal violence there, but I would say that the one line he never crosses is that he never kills them-- because in his head he’s justified it as “I’m daggering this sibling for their own good” etc etc. (It’s interesting also to note that his siblings would be just as fast to dagger him should the opportunity arise.) Would he have the same need to exert his dominance over his children? Because, as father, his power over them is the natural order of things (especially in his medieval head). Whereas, amongst his siblings, yes, he’s the most special, but he’s also the third son and suffers from middle child syndrome, so it’s more about wresting power from the rest of them. Never underestimate how deeply medieval the thinking of each of the Originals is-- things like birth order definitely matter, and that’s definitely part of Klaus’s familial chaos.

The strongest point of tension I could predict between Klaus and his children would be at the point when they are old enough to wish to exert their independence from him as individuals. I question whether Klaus would ever see that though, or be able to let them go. I think there could be an inevitable slide into methods of control-- lying “for their own good,” killing a daughter’s suitors to keep her from leaving the nest... no matter what, he would probably prefer for his child to find interests that kept them close to him.

In terms of physical violence, I’m up in the air about that. It’s possible he could lose his temper and strike out at a child-- although, the more I think about it, the more I think that’s not how he lashes out so I don’t think that would be the issue. He daggers his siblings a lot but we don’t see him torturing them physically (I don’t think? I could just be blanking). There are times when they come to blows, but we see that with Damon and Stefan all the time... and that might just be a vampire thing in general. Most of what he does to them is really psychological torture/abuse and when he does have a violent fit, he tends to take it out on those around the object of his furor, like every single one of Rebekah’s lovers whom he murders, or Katerina’s family. What would be the equivalent of daggering that he could do to his child? Lock him up in a dungeon? (lol if it’s Elena’s child, GOOD LUCK.) Maybe some other threat to hold over their heads? This would be totally situational though. I think he would be deeply regretful of ever striking his child (doesn’t entirely mean he wouldn’t, in the heat of the moment), but could justify other methods like imprisonment pretty easily.

I think that just leaves the last awful stone to turn over: the incest. I don’t even know what to say about the Mikaelsons other than that there is definitely an incest issue in that whole family-- but especially with Klaus and Rebekah-- and honestly at this point Rebekah’s incest vibe with Marcel just sells their relationships to me even more. Of course she’s transposed that fucked-uppery onto Marcel. Like you mentioned above, and like I’ve developed in Fairytale Ending, Klaus’s incest with Rebekah is definitely a power thing with him-- he’s not in love with Rebekah, but she is his special favorite-- and part of that is that she’s the sibling he can control, through sexual dominance and appealing to her abandonment issues and insecurities (in a wild feedback loop with his own abandonment issues and insecurities). It’s awfully telling that the only lover he actually lets her have is Stefan... because Stefan is so clearly also his lover. (And that when faced with Rebekah x Marcel, he chose to dagger her and shelve the issue of oh no! I can’t kill my son! until it was no longer an issue)

Personally, I don’t think there would be any parent/child incest issues with Klaus-- his incest problems don’t stem directly from his parent/child trauma, and we never get a hint of incest between him and Marcel, so, at least we can breathe a sigh of relief in this one facet of Klaus-as-father-- but I do think if he were to have multiple children he would be very suspicious of them and very hunted by the idea of their incest.

I think that sums up my thoughts on Klaus as a parent/the possible ways he would fuck it up?

I do think there’s a possibility it could go well-- obviously I daydream most about what a Klaus x Elena parent team would look like, which might actually work. As you said, Elena would cut any nonsense out right away. But also, I think that Elena is a true equal for Klaus, and one of the things about finding a real equal is that it lends itself to partnership-- which is what Klaus would need in a co-parent. Someone who could balance him and strengthen the parts of him that could be good at being a parent. His siblings definitively did not do that-- Elijah wasn’t interested enough, and Rebekah is ultimately too immature-- but Elena has a shot. So, despite all the ways it could go to non-proverbial hell in a handbasket, I think with the right circumstances-- a partner who would voluntarily choose to stay at his side, for example, thus eliminating so much of his neediness and extenuating control issues-- he could deal with that shift from child to adolescent to adult much better, and that foundation of a very strong parent/child relationship during the first decade or so could really help Klaus and his child’s relationship withstand any later turbulence. (Also, with Elena around as a co-parent, I kind of think instead of grooming a child to be some sort of feudal lord who could become a threat to Klaus’s sphere of power, she would encourage her kid to be... like... a veterinarian or something normal. And having that strong female role model would also go a long way toward forcing Klaus to give up his “over-bearing father to my precious jewel of a daughter” schtick....) So maybe my actual stance is “Klaus would be a terrible single-father, but he might be okay if he’s not the only parent in the picture/he has an adult meeting and grappling with his issues in a long-term committed relationship”

(I think the final you asked about were my thoughts on Rebekah/Klaus in the FE timeline, which is basically just my headcanon in general... so, to start off, I don’t think the incest would have ever happened had they remained human. I think it’s a direct result of the trauma and psychosis they all experience from their transformations into vampires, which reifies all the problems they had as humans and exponentially makes it worse. And also, like you said, immortality seriously fucks with concepts of right vs wrong. Like, part of what’s wild is that nowhere in the canon does it say that vampires have to be monsters... it’s just that needing human blood to survive quickly turns into hunting humans, which turns into a psychological barrier between the vampire and humans... which eventually transforms them into monsters, callous, cold, playing with their food, hunting humans for sport, arbitrarily pulling them apart because they’re bored. So, becoming a vampire doesn’t instantly make one into a monster, but it does seem to inevitably precipitate becoming one down the line, and it’s just a matter of how fast the vampire arrives at that destination. To get back to the incest question, my thought was that the Originals would be already well down that road-- years past the death of their mother and fleeing their father, living as savages enslaved to their appetites and their flights of fancy, when that shift would occur between Klaus and Rebekah. Because by that point, what can possibly still be taboo? They’d already divorced themselves from their humanity, their inherent sense of “right” vs “wrong,” certainly any cultural understanding of it, so thoroughly that the barrier between sibling and lover must have felt thin and insubstantial as a bit of mist. I’m sure they were gradually heading that way for a while-- Klaus probably clung to Rebekah hardest of all, and Rebekah was so traumatized that telling the difference between different kinds of love would have been truly difficult. When I think about how long this might have taken, I imagine probably only about a decade-- long enough that it wasn’t immediate (they were still young, and time would have still passed at a human rate for them), but not long that Rebekah would have a chance to really start looking at all the men who might be potential lovers for her. It’s possible in fact that her interest in a human man could have precipitated Klaus changing things up with her. (And it’s very much explicitly about Klaus wanting to be #1 with Rebekah-- I think he slept with Tatia Petrova as a human, and I think he was sleeping around a good deal-- probably in a lot of gruesome ways, actually-- in that time before Rebekah became his lover.) What’s interesting to me here is that none of the other siblings-- especially Elijah, because Kol is shifty as fuck-- ever seemed to object. They just... accepted it? Rolled with it? That, to me, really demonstrates how deeply screwed up they all are.)

#anonymous #klaus #klaus mikaelson #klena #beklena #tw: incest

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sweetaesuga · 4 years

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rather be | jhs

pairing: hoseok x female reader

genre: angst, fluff, established relationship au!

warnings: age gap, language, parents disapproval.

word count: 2.1k

↳a/n: decided to post this since my jk fic is taking too long. this is a drabble for my upcoming jhs fic!

"I think they're going to hate me."

"They're going to love you, I don't know what you're talking about."

You shuffled awkwardly in front of the red door, black heels grazing on the cement. "I feel like I'm gonna make myself look like a complete fool," you whined to him, puffs of air are seen leaving you mouth due to the coldness.

Hoseok chuckled. "As if you already don't already do that," his smile surfaced as he remembered the first date you both went on and how timid you were. You could barely stand on your two legs like a baby giraffe that day but now you're glaring at him with your might. "I'm joking babe. They're going to—"

The door is thrown wide open, hitting the wall. Hoseok's mother stood there in her elegant black pencil skirt with a precious diamond necklace, hanging down her neck and matching earrings. Her eyes landed on Hoseok and she embraced him. Accompanied by a kiss on the cheek, she told him how much she missed him. He whined and promised her he would visit more often. Hoseok moved out of the way to make sure she got a good glimpse of you. She scanned you up and down, watching you gulp in uneasiness. Hoseok coughed to get his mother's eyes to return to him when he realized she was staring too long. She smiled at him, cheeks scrunching up. "Um, mom this is Y/N, my girlfriend."

Taking a deep breath, you prepare to greet her. "Hello," her hand stuck out in front you, a nice red color painted onto them.

"Hi!" you shook her hand, your glittery nails are now the center of attention as she glanced at them. "It's so nice to meet you!"

Your cheeks flushed at your ear-piercing tone. Hoseok's mother seemed a little taken back but veiled it with a small smile, not the same she gave your boyfriend however. "Hoseok talks a lot about you, we're so happy to meet you."

She stepped aside, making way for the two of you. Shutting the door in front of you, she walked over to the living room. "I'm sorry but Jiwoo won't be joining us today, she's busy at work like always," she mumbled the last part. You nodded, secretly a little grateful that his sister wouldn’t be here because the information eased your nervousness.

Hoseok wrapped your hand around his, reassuring you to just be yourself. He gave you multiple talks along the way, reminding you that if his parents would approve of a beautiful amazing girl like you, his words exactly.

His father appeared from the kitchen, waving slightly at you. His attire was the same as his wife, elegant and classy. A dark suit with a simple navy tie and a white button down shirt. “You're back from Seoul! And you even brought yourself a pretty lady," Hoseok's father grinned at you and went in for a hug. Your cheeks flushed even more at his comment, taking a whiff of his dark spiced cologne.

"Dad, this is Y/N, my girlfriend," his father whistled at him, happy that his son has finally found himself a girlfriend.

"Thank god! Was beginning to think you were gay or something," you can't help but let out a snort, Hoseok's glare quickly shushed you. "Seriously, he never brings over a girl. I mean, Hoseok you're thirty-three and haven't even thought of marriage!" you laughed in agreement and your boyfriend grimaced at the thought.

His father warmed up to you fast, walking over to the dinner where everything was prepared waiting for you. His parents sat across from the both of you, his mother chose to sit in front of you. The warm dish of jajangmyeon planted in front of you.

"Wow," the air in your lungs are knocked out from the delicious plate in front of you. "This looks amazing and I bet it'll even taste amazing."

His mother scoffed. "We didn't cook it, the maids did."

Hoseok distinguished the tone his mother was using on you, remembering it from the times her and his father fought. She had an attitude towards you. His hands enclosed around you, kneading your knuckles. You blinked, surprised at the fact they had maids but still apologized for assuming.

"Is this the house where you grew up?" you voiced to Hoseok, genuinely interested if he grew up in this lovely home.

His father slurped down his noodles, prepared to answer the question for him. "No, we moved like three times. He grew up in another house that we sold. It was a great house, just didn't feel right for us."

Nodding, you gazed around the dining room. White coated on the walls with a brown marble floor that evened the colors out. Instead of a source of light hanging from above, there was two plants hanged. The dining table was a weirdly shaped wooden plank on four poles that still added touch to the design. "This is very beautiful," you complimented, fully absorbed in the modern design.

"I designed it myself," his mother smiled in pride and stared up at the plants. His father grinned at her, reminding her how much of a great job she did. "I went through a lot of designs but I definitely had a thing for modern interiors."

"Seriously, I remember when everything was dark. It looked like Dracula's house, Y/N," Hoseok recalled, receiving a frown from his mother. Your lips curved upwards but tried to hold your laugh in. "It was black and red in here, you should've seen!"

His father laughed at him. "You think that was funny?" he challenged his son with raised eyebrows. Hoseok stopped eating his noodles to stare at him along with puppy eyes. "You should of seen what Hobi used to play with as a kid that now he's ashamed of."

On cue, Hoseok's eyes widened at the sudden memory his father was going to expose. You gave him a puzzled look. "What is it?"

"No dad, stop! That was um....when I was younger. You said you weren't gonna talk about this!" Hoseok reminded him, it only gets your curiosity to leap higher.

"What is it?" you asked, leaning forward. Hoseok's father glanced over at him, staring into his sunken eyes that lost hope.

"He used to play with a barbie when he was younger—which there's nothing wrong with that but Hoseok over here gets embarrassed about it all the time, it's too damn funny!" his wife laughed along with him.

You giggled and turned. Surely enough, your boyfriend was sitting uncomfortably in his seat with red flushed cheeks. He wore a grumpy frown on his lips. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about, Hobi." you teased him, pinching the cheek closest to you.

"So where do you come from?" his father started again once he calmed down, bringing a piece of noodles to his lips. His wife sat besides him, peacefully eating her portion.

"I originally come from Ulsan but I came to Seoul because I'm currently attending Hanyang University right now."

The table goes quiet and you're worried that you might've said something wrong. You went over your words in your head, trying to find what could've offended them. Hoseok's father stopped chewing for a moment as if he's processing what you just said to him. Hoseok sighed and grabbed your hand from under the table, not helping your anxious state.

Maybe it was the university you were attending? You couldn’t think of anything else besides that being the reason that caused the tension in the room.

"How old are you?" his eyes fixed on you, wandering of your features to try to determine the answer himself.

"Nineteen."

Hoseok's mother laughed, earning a scowl from Hoseok himself. She shook her head and drank her wine, telling herself things under her breath. "Oh my god you stupid girl, you really thought you could date my son just for his money."

A frown settled on your face. Your palms began to become sweaty. Hoseok's eyebrows furrowed, his jaw continually clenching and unclenching. "I'm sorry? I don't know where you guys got that idea." you laughed awkwardly but shut your mouth when his father sent you a glare. It's almost like his whole personality switched into an asshole.

Hoseok doesn't move his hand even when his father glared at him. "We're not dumb sweetheart. Little girls like you that can't afford college, of course you would be looking for a sugar daddy," his mother continued. She aimed her finger at Hoseok. "And you, you're smart enough to know this. And getting a girl like this? Hoseok, I thought we raised you better than that." she turned to you, her gaze piercing through you you're sure it left a two holes in your head. "He's supposed to be getting married by now but instead he's wasting his time with someone like you."

You bit your lip, unable to blink or else a tear will rush out. There's a huge pressure on your body right now as you try to compose yourself together and not cry in front of his parents, but with the sickening look his mother is giving it's hard to follow through.

"What is your guy's problems?" Hoseok's voice cuts in. His chair scratched the floor as he stood up in front of them. His hands clutched yours tightly, even when you tried to pull away. "Sugar daddy? Are you listening to yourself right now?!" his voice boomed throughout the room.

"Hoseok—" you're ready to stop him from defending you but he's quick to silence you.

"I know Y/N, she's not like that," his eyes searched for you glossy ones. You sniffed and peered up at him. "You guys just barely met her, you can't make those assumptions of her. I know she's not with me for money, hell she won't take that necklace I bought her," you faintly smile at the memory of Hoseok begging you to take the emerald stone necklace in the middle of a restaurant. You kept refusing however not wanting to wear that expensive jewelry around since you feared that it wouldn’t look good on you.

"Hoseok please, a much younger girl wanting a rich man like you? She's like ten years younger than you! You think she's ready to get married anytime soon?" his hands kneaded your sweaty palm. "You're thirty-three and she's nineteen! You both are at different points of your life, she probably just came out of the nest. This is not going to work out," his mother stressed, standing up from her seat. His father exhaled and laid back in his seat. "How much?" she asked all of the sudden.

"What?"

"How much to get you out of his life? Name the price and you'll leave him alone."

"Mom! What the hell?!" Hoseok embraced you when you let a sob escape your mouth. Your nose nuzzled in his chest, taking in his coconut body wash. "I can't believe you guys would go this low!" you never heard Hoseok this angry. Even during all those times you messed something up like one of his papers by spilling lemonade onto it, he would never raise his voice. "Y/N makes me happy and if you guys can't accept that, well then—"

"What Hoseok? Are you going to chose her over your own family?" his father finally decided to talk, chest heaving up to present himself as more assertive. You feel backstabbed by this man, a few minutes ago he was telling your stories of Hoseok playing with barbies.

Your boyfriend doesn't say anything to them at first. He solely gazed down at you, pressing his soft lips against your forehead. "Goodbye," he decided, pushing in both of our chairs. You don’t miss the despairing features on his parents face as you exit the house.

Even when you both reach his car, you haven’t stopped crying. He opened the door for you. Your eyes followed him as he walked around to his door. “Maybe your parents are right,” you croaked out, your voice vague from all the tears you’ve poured out. Hoseok stopped to look at you, eyes urging with you to continue. “What if people just see us like that? I’m a fucking gold digger and you’re a sugar daddy. I’m just with you for the money, I don’t want people thinking of me like that,” your voice cracked halfway.

Hoseok reached over the console to wrap his arms around you, giving your forehead a quick peck. “People who think that are just people that don’t know what do with their life and like to get into others’ businesses. I know you’re not a gold digger, Y/N.”

“I feel like such a bad person,” your hair stuck into your forehead as the tears poured out. You hiccuped into Hoseok’s shoulder. “You can’t pick me over your family, we need to break up.”

He shook his head, a tear managing to slip out. “No, I don’t ever want to break up with you. Y/N, I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.” you sniffed and glanced up at him, noticing his eyes and how tears were dangerously close to pouring out. He opened his mouth but shut it. A tear ran down his cheek and near his mouth.

“When I am with you, there’s no place I’d rather be.”

#hoseok imagine #hoseok x you #hoseok x reader #hoseok x y/n #hoseok scenarios #hoseok drabble #hoseok angst #hoseok fluff #j hope x reader #j hope imagine #j hope scenarios #j hope drabble #bts drabble #bts fluff #bts angst #jung hoseok drabble

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stachmousworld · 4 years

Text

Donuts

(Picture from the Von Doughnuts site. I never had those. *cry in french*)

Summary: Bucky came back from a mission with a treat or a dozen. His bestfriend is not sure what is going on and her fear may stop her from finding what she really wanted. Fortunately, Bucky aka Bronco, was willing to risk it all.

Pairing: Bucky x Black!female character

Disclaimers: None of them are mine, except for the original character.

Tags: Smut/Tease. Second base who? Donuts do play a huge part in it.

It was International Donut Day. Why do I know that? Do I really keep track of those International Days? No. But I’m on a binge, watching this psycho, Will Tennyson (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyqUgHwb5mk&t=16s) This dude, from Toronto, is absolutely a monster when it comes to inhaling food, especially donuts. So here we are.

Also, I wanted to write a full smutty scene, but I listened to the wrong track. Listening to SiR instead of Tank for these kinds of stories was my mistake.

She was dosing on her couch, her show long forgotten. She freed one of her legs from the warmth of the plaids and wiggled her toes, enjoying the crisp cold air. Finally off her feet. Finally, she sighed, rotating her tensed ankles. This week had been hell. She had been stretched thin at work. One of her colleagues had ditched them on the busiest week of the year, to go to Coachella, and she had to replace her and take both shifts, with little to no pauses. Would she get paid way more? Yep, but it did nothing to help with her anger. She was too exhausted to formulate a plan of revenge against her colleague, but once she’d feel better. It was over for her.

She stretched her calves and groaned. It’s decided, she’d never stand up again. Wasn’t worth it. Nope. As she snuggled her pillow, someone knocked on her door. She frowned and patted the empty place next to her looking for her phone. She groaned when the knocking and ringing grew louder.

“Siri, what time is it?” She whispered furiously, praying that Siri wouldn’t reply too loud.

“1 am, Miss.” The electronical voice answered. Loudly. The young woman tossed the covers, definitely annoyed. She grabbed her boyfriend’s gun and slowly stood up. She kept the TV on to maintain the illusion that she didn’t hear the person, even if Siri’s voice had sounded pretty loud to her own ears. She hoped the person behind the door hadn’t noticed.

She tiptoed to the door, looked through the peephole and sighed, relief washing over her.

“Bucky,” she groaned as she unlocked the door. “It’s 1 am. I told you to call me before coming. I could have been sleeping. And you know how I feel about waking up.”

Bucky looked sheepish and held a box toward her. She grabbed it and returned to her safe place, on her couch under the blankets.

“You are not excused, by the way. Even though it smells…” She brought the box to her nose and inhaled. “…heavenly.”

She settled on the couch legs crossed.

“Sorry, Doll, I just came from a mission and thought of you.”

She rolled her eyes and eyed him suspiciously. A mission? Did he come straight from the Tower? She narrowed her eyes as he took his jacket off. Was that blood on the hem of his shirt? She leaned forward and scrunched her nose. Bucky unaware of her inner struggles sauntered to the couch. She raised a hand to stop him.

“Wait a minute, Bronco. Did you take a shower before coming? Last time was enough, already. I don’t want to face the cleaning lady and try to explain why I have blood on my cushions. NO amount of sweets would make me rekindle or friendship.”

Bucky grinned mischievously.

“If you want, you can check my body.” He drawled, before winking.

“Thanks. But I’ll pass. If you want a hot body to sleep with, the door is behind.”

Bucky grunted something about her being unfairly cold toward him, although he brought her favorite treats.

“Yeah, yeah, I love you too. Now, strip or get lost, Bronco,” she said, impassive.

“You do realize why people call me Bronco, right?” He asked, as he unbuckled his pants. A few wild strands of hair falling onto his face. Her fingers itched to redo his bun and touched what she knew was soft cleaned hair. She gripped her plaid and concentrated on the softness instead.

Breath in, breath out. It’s not the first time he’ll be half naked next to you and that won’t be the last. So calm down, she thought desperately. After a last exhale, she took the remote and scrolled down the list of movies, looking for one he’ll appreciate.

“You didn’t answer.”

“Hm?” She answered, pretending not to hear. Being distracted meant looking at him and looking at him meant…her heart started beating faster. Nope. Not getting my eyes off the screen, she concluded, firmly.

“You love to call me Bronco, but do you know why they call me like that?”

God, had she already inhaled? Or exhaled? Was her breath too fast, or too slow? Had he noticed? She slightly shook her head.

“I’m not stupid, Buck’”, she said, cringing inwardly. Her voice sounded too weak. He sure would notice that something was wrong. Great.

“Yeah, but I want you to tell me, or else, I’ll think you don’t really know.”

“What am I? A kid?” she asked, slightly amused.

“Who knows,” he whispered in her ear. Warm air caressed her lobe and neck. She sat still. Paralyzed. She hadn’t even seen him move. How did he…?

She kept staring at the TV but couldn’t decipher anything anymore. The only anchor was Bucky’s breath on her right side, tickling her slightly. She resisted with all her consciousness and strength against the pleasure rushing through her veins.

She swallowed, took a short breath and turned her head toward his. Bucky pressed his forehead against hers. He slowly brushed his nose against hers, their lips only a few inches apart. Her eyes were glued to his. They were normally a light grey, turning blue when it was sunny outside, but tonight…tonight they were dark blue. Enticing and luring her into a new territory.

For a couple of minutes, no one moved.

“They called you Bronco, because you are wild,” she finally said. Bucky blinked slowly. She swallowed, then licked her lips to humidify her dry lips. The tip of her tongue accidentally brushed Bucky’s lips. She stuttered some apologies, cheeks flaming red. Bucky, still silent, leaned back. His gaze was unwavering.

“It’s okay, don’t worry,” he answered, his voice deeper and raspier than normal.

She unclenched her hands on the remote and sent it to him. He caught it effortlessly but didn’t make any move to look for a movie.

“Are you not going to look what I brought for you?” He said, raising one eyebrow and pointing at the large box. She jumped into action, taking this distraction to make sense of her own thoughts. What the absolute…what the hell! She almost…they almost kissed. And Bucky didn’t seem to mind. She briefly closed her eyes. He simply is horny and was probably too tired to find someone so he’s being a jerk, she reasoned.

She shook her head, accidentally freeing a few braids out of her satin bonnet. She raised her hand to put them back, when Bucky’s hand came into view. He rearranged her braids with nimble fingers. She closed her gaping mouth and thanked him almost silently.

His dark eyes seemed to be attached to her. He hadn’t stopped looking at her, and she was starting to feel a little bit bothered. Were they crossing a line? Did she even want to cross that line? Her heart settled her resolution. She wont sleep with him. It was already messy as it was, but with her now growing feelings for him, she wouldn’t be able to pretend not caring about him. She inwardly cringed.

I’d become too clingy. Too obvious and he’ll let me down nicely, because it is how he is, she thought, sadly.

“Hey, are you okay?” Bucky nudged her shoulder.

“Yeah, sorry. Lost in my thoughts for a second.”

“I know,” he simply replied. His voice was too calm to be a good sign.

I have already fucked this up, she groaned. With trembling hands she opened the box. The scent escaping was mouthwatering. She leaned forward and inhaled. There were 12 huge donuts. Some filled, some not, some with a hole and the others not.

“Jesus, Buck! That’s my crack, you know that,” she screamed, excited. She looked for the right one to start. It took her way more time that she’d like to admit, but they looked so good. Contrary to popular beliefs it wasn’t an easy task. She didn’t want to start with the best one and be disappointed eating the others. Like so many times before.

She, finally, settled for a classic. A glazed donut. The most regular and common one. The first bite left her boneless, slow moans escaped her mouth. It was really too indecent to be that good. She slumped onto the back of the couch, eyes rolling from the sugar rush, the savory dough and the overall balanced spices.

At this point, she was unaware of Bucky’s presence. All that counted was the donut and her. Once finished she licked her fingers and smacked her lips.

“Really, Bucky, you outdone yourself. After the last time, I was sure you couldn’t find something better than those pancakes from the South, but here we…” She trailed off. Bucky took her hand, brought her fingers to his mouth and sucked on her thumb. His tongue swirl around the digit, cleaning the remaining glaze. His eyelids fluttered as he changed from one finger to the other. Every time his tongue lapped the tip of her finger, she felt sparks of pleasure bursting inside her clit. She closed her legs and enjoyed the pleasure brought by the sudden pressure.

He liked her pinky finger, letting it go in a pop. Bucky looked more pleased than her. He wiped the corner of her lips.

“Truly the best,” he whispered, pensive.

“Bucky…”

“Try this one.” He brought to her lips a plain looking donut. She took a bite, almost regretting not taking a napkin. The strawberry jam filling burst inside her mouth, almost choking her as it got near her windpipe. She chewed, conscious that Bucky was watching her every move. She was now repressing her moans and twitching and forced her legs to stay still.

“It’s really good,” she complimented with her mouth still full.

Bucky tutted. “Have your parents never taught you not to talk with your mouth full?”

She swallowed then opened her now empty mouth. Bucky smiled amused.

“See, Daddy, I’m a big girl now,” she chuckled, leaning to get the rest of the donut from Bucky. She raised her eyes when she received no reaction from him. Bucky’s predatory face was back. Oh oh. He tilted his head and smirked.

“Buc…Bucky? Are you okay?”

Bucky’s smile revealed too many teeth to be innocent. He nodded and brought the rest of the donut to her mouth. She took a cautious bite, not knowing what Bucky had in mind. Now she was prepared, she could really enjoy the donut. There was some lemony aftertaste from the jam. She bobbed her head as other spices came through. Really good for a jam filled donut.

She leaned forward to get another bite. The last one. Bucky gave it to her, still silent. She wasn’t sure of what to say, or what to do to calm him down. So, she took her time to think but ended up being more distracted by him, or more exactly by his hand, which was now on hers. His fingers traveled slowly, up to her neck. He caressed her bare arms, leaving goosebumps everywhere.

As he reached the base of her neck, he started drawing some circles, making her tilt her head toward the warmth. Her eyes fluttered and shut closed. She enjoyed the lovely caress, totally unaware of Bucky’s initial plan, until she felt soft lips caressing the other side of her neck.

“Bucky,” she pleaded. There was as much desperation for him to keep going than a plea to stop.

He kissed her neck some more, then made his way to her face with the same care and precision. He inhaled softly onto her lips, then kiss her lightly. She barely felt his soft plump lips.

“Bucky…”

He grazed her lower lip with his teeth, nibbling, then pressed in, using the space between their body to lay her down on the couch onto the feather-like plaid. He pushed his tongue inbetween her lips and played with hers.

Bucky took his time to discover her mouth. His tongue felt so good against hers. She started writhing against his body, trying to maximize the pressure between their two bodies. Bucky thrusted into her hip. A large thickness bumped onto her pelvis. She moaned. She did that. She made him…Wait!

She pushed Bucky away. Although he was way bigger and bulkier than her, he allowed her. He flopped onto his back, eyes closed as he took sharp breaths. He didn’t try to hide his bulge and laid legs crossed next to her.

She averted her eyes.

“Why?” he said, dejected.

She opened her mouth and closed it. Bucky shouldn’t have sounded so…sad. He should have laughed it off and joked like usual.

“I don’t…we are friends Bucky. And even though some people like to be friends with benefits, I don’t do that.” She laughed mirthlessly. Yeah, she didn’t want to talk about her virginity on top of her morals. Even though she was sure, she had talked to him about it.

“And if I don’t want to be your friends. Only,” he said, carefully.

She frowned unsure of what he meant.

“And if I want to be more than your friend,” he explained, a bit awkward.

“Just because you want to fuck me?”

Bucky’s face scrunched in cringe.

“I wouldn’t call that…okay, that’s not the point. I don’t care about…making love to you.” Bucky’s face grew redder than normal for a supersoldier. He raised his eyes to the sky and took a deep breath. “I want the whole shebang. Going on dates, doing some couple activities.” He finished quickly, avoiding her eyes.

“But why?” she asked, gobsmacked.

“Why, what?”

“Why do you want to be in a relationship with me?”

Bucky shrugged, his entire face was now flaming red.

“I have always wanted to.”

“You’re lying,” she gasped, slapping his leg. “I’m pretty sure, you weren’t crushing on me. You kept talking about all these girls you were seeing.”

Bucky groaned and took his head into his hands. She only deciphered something close to “fuck…Clint and Nat.” Understanding what was the problem, she scooted forward, unconsciously sitting on his lap. She took his hand away from his face, and peered into his eyes.

“Bucky, tell me the truth. Please.”

He took a deep breath, opened his mouth a few times. He freed his hands, pushed her onto his chest, her head resting on his heart.

“Since the first time I saw you.” He replied, quietly.

“What?” She asked, lost.

“I wanted to be with you since the first day. You were so beautiful with your little yellow flowery dress. And the smile you gave me…” He kissed the top of her head. “…I tried to ask for advice to the only people I knew because I tried and failed to flirt with you and keep you interested. So, they told me to make you jealous, but the more I pretended to go on dates and have sex, the more you put me in the ‘friendzone.’”

She didn’t have it in her to laugh at his use of modern slang, too engrossed in the meaning behind those words. She let them sooth her insecurities. The bubble of love and hope threatened to burst any time soon.

“I wanted to tell you every time, I came to your place. I had this fear that one day, your boyfriend would open the door. Or you’d tell me you found someone else.” He tightened his arms around her. “So, no. It wasn’t a spontaneous decision.”

They laid in silence for a couple of seconds before she couldn’t handle it.

“I love you,” she blurted, then froze, utterly mortified. “I mean…I like y..”

Bucky surged forward kissing her with hunger. She didn’t react at first, too shock by his reaction, then, relaxed against his body, pressing her leg between his, massaging his hardening bulge. Bucky broke the kiss, hissing, after one particular long drag on his erection.

“I love you, Doll’. ‘m pretty sure longer than you.”

She laughed breathlessly before kissing him again.

Fin

Mother masterrliiiisssstt ✨✨✨🐱‍🏍

#mcu fic #bucky barnes x black!reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x original female character #bucky barnes x reader #donuts #smut #tease

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paraclete0407 · 3 years

Text

Going to give away all my story-ideas a la George Johnston’s ‘The Fire Sale’ since I feel as if Lucifer has been unleashed against me for the destruction of my flesh that I might learn not to blaspheme -

‘The Winners 2012′

With the prototype of my ‘Three Kings’ ultimate self-idea-hero, the Vice Principal or Ass’t Headmaster forced to play basketball, also something about a novel about violoncello and female self-satisfaction, inner life or pseudo-inner-life and my attack on Harvard people for their emetic unending self-celebration, which turned out to be a sort of Kim Jong Il three-day massacre-banquet + they really have a huge problem with alcohol, rape, at the same time they were right IMHO to be eating blueberries and protein-goop and so on sleeping 2hrs a night. Princeton students doing math in lucid dreams. I too would have but in retrospect I literally methinks I deduce that my bio-parents and Waqas my Paki roommate were trying to give me heart-failure in the cause of sociohistorical justice and/or ‘family tree’ hyper-narcissism. I was watching ‘Reply 1997′ and that song ‘Confession’ but I thought ‘I am gonna one day hang out with my friend again and drive through the NJ woods and it’ll all be alright b/c they are gonna have theirs and I am gonna have mine and in the end they will still be able to follow my lead and feel I was worthwhile.’ ‘Headmaster’s Wife’ something something Robert James Waller bidding for continued relevance after ‘Madison County’ but even in 2012 I just honestly wasn’t that fascinated with women or their hobbies at all. I like the Korean poem that says to look at your spouse’s brow, check homework, share food. Everyone wants a room of their own in which to produce bad art, get worse as a person, do that which others could do better. USFK bases are like huge campuses with super-nice beds and the soldiers all appear to need like 5,000 KCAL per diem or they’ll pass out. I had been in the habit of sleeping bolt-straight till I got here and liquified my form. ‘Winners’ got totally out of hand where the Ass’t Headmaster started cruising around looking for anyone and everyone to talk to and never got what he was up to - never ever ever realized that he could minimize his life and walk away, that he was manager-material at Cryan’s Irish Pub or sth, that the principal really might retire one day or just let him step up, if he didn’t keep trying to ‘discharge responsiblities’ or lay the ground for some super-daughter-figure to fulfill the mission that he had been waiting to incipit; and too, he was sort of a priest to begin with and avoided his vocation for years and decades for reasons unknown. My ex-friend from Harvard bragged about staying up for 36hrs doing something and there was President Obama saying ‘Heyyy Harvard Columbia but I also like flip-flops, chips, Occidental, jackass, fag.’ Obama had such an uneven series of statements. I used to blow up on the radio like 1000000% affirmative action; Thomas Sowell is 10000% right that the Ivies were disillusioning and damaging generation of Blacks who couldn’t read fast enough - therefore, better to go back to K-12 / HS and try to give younger people a general preparedness so that they wouldn’t leave it to mercenary oft CCP-seduced (Vogel) and it turns out oft pedophilic prof’s (Alexander Theroux is in the habit of calling Dershowitz ‘dirt’ though I actually agree with him about a lot and hope that he is still in favor of rule of law at this bizarre hour) to form or confer their identity and bequeath their sense of mission in life...

‘Thanksgiving Day’

Possibly my ‘most characteristic novel’ that predicted me never being understood or read with my own grain at all though it contained terrorist threats basically. Of all Korean pop-music with its numerous melismas in a way he most ‘abject’ was Sunny’s song from ‘Story of Wine,’ ‘Finally Now’ which made me realize actually I was gonna get cut up at all the dinner-parties, all my understandings would be met with anti-understandings, everything I simplified would be complicated, whether I throw rock paper or scissor all my ex-friends from Gov School are throwing CCP massive retaliation deepfake AI bury-the-scholar-alive fireballs. So they drove to the South Mountain Res where the homosexual pederasts are acting pedagogical and ‘adoptive’ and they are sitting there like, ‘Well soon it will be deer-hunting season + Chris Christie was saying how teachers like to make kids’ faces light up + give them indelible memories but under all his generosity of acknowledgment / crediting all the while CC was also saying / dogwhistling / inciting if not demanding or ordering, “Eat the poor,”which Obama was also arguably saying.’

I still like Sunny or did like 18 months ago - Tizzard and friends are mad at Cho Kuk; I tried to defend the governing class though this actually clashed with my own belief in people that came from dirt being best qualified as long as they don’t turn utterly prideful; and I’m a monarchist megalomaniac b/c I thought of Kissinger saying, ‘The illegal we do immediately the unconstitutional takes a while’ which I did not eve n intend to mean ‘Milwaukee antinomianism misrule carnivalesque total inversion of values’ and IZ*ONE were ‘rigged’ (destined), ‘Sunkyu’ is a good safe name that I know of and at the end she is like, ‘He is a loser; I am going back to the party anyway; he belongs in a Cistercian monastery or somewhere; it is not wrong to have monks and nuns and celibate married couples and/or those who wat a long time after marriage to have a child...’

‘Everything’ (Everything 2015 / Everything 2021)

Words never said, ‘I’m everything’ - therefore how can you not play my games and _ _ _. This was such an abject apprehension(?) in my own life; I had an ideal solution to the problem and in those days I actually had no acute anxiety nor did I feel this distance(d) awe from anybody but only a low-level thrumming or basso continuou worry or ‘meditation’ (Purpose-Driven Life). I guess now if someone isn’t asking a clear question it might be beside the point to imagine it’s worthwhile to answer and if somebody proffers you a certainty in any part of speech it is best it is best just to respond or non-respond without ay semblance of personality; deflection; without wanting to add anything or change anyone’s mind b/c in the end they who open their wings prematurely will get shot down all the more; and will also become their own worst enemies at times due to the conceits of ‘my nobility; fallen flower; I was Elect; I was anointed [sth. from ‘Sentimental Education’ abt women’s hearts]’

When I was 15 I started thinking a lot about reality and who is real to whom; my favorite piano-piece though in retrospect I might’ve ust listened to it then moved on with better things was Frederic Chopin’s ‘Berceuse’ op. 57 a.k.a. ‘Lullaby’ though originally it was simply ‘Variations.’ Simple left hand, very testing right hand. Michelangeli made a version in which nothing was thrown away or left to chance and a lot of pianists add a deep D-flat to the last chord which I disagreeith b/c the whole point of not using that is taht in the end it’s not a big deal. Best is Kempff 1946 because it’s utterly affectionate, fatherly, almost forgetful. I had once regarded this version or ‘rendering’ as being Kempff’s message to post-Nazi Germany saying, ‘Dream a new dream for a while.’ His left hand is spelling and his right hand is tracing. I used to make up words for this piece ‘I’m real God can’t you see / to break your shield’ but that was with a different count or tempo than the actual notation. Also, the version I heard first was Idil Biret or someone and they made the left hand cycle or reciprocate with a false completeness like an underlying clock when the essence of the ‘Berceuse’ is that the inner voices form a tolling or droning. I years later turned to the even more violent psychopathic Chopin that gave me hand-tremors and I think it is very bad for humans of which the apex was the last page or so of Nocturne 55-2 which is basically heart-explosion into embers. After going to KR I never wanted to touch a piano again except for anything related to Kempff and would walk around Lake Park, Wahl Street, considering Russia, simplicity, ‘c/Chimes.’ Didn’t then realize George Frost Kennan grew up around there and was considering Russia his whole life. I saw ‘Cat Street’ and was put in mind of a Singaporean market or square where they let songbirds talk to each other but it’s ancient history now. Maybe in future no one will care about cats, birds - I don’t really except I grew up in white trash degenerate Mass. where they burned frogs for fun (I was like 3) and put skull-flag all over their rooms. I oppose Mao sparrow-genocide, am fond of dandelions and the Ku Sang poem about dandelions from ‘Infant Splendor.’ However my generation and the people of that time were arguably over-equipped and in one way over-covered in another under-covered.

Voice in my head saying ‘They want Maoism man.’ But I really did believe in those days that others’ futures were like my own past and I perhaps overestiated my own chance of any future understanding, ‘trust-ness,’ and, either stable interiority or cognizable reliable plain-as-day face-to-face exteriority.

I also read Somerset Maugham’s critiques of ‘the Russian sense of humor’ which I approved of and my mom recently dreamed of the cat running out with his tail burnt.

There are perhaps only so many possible variations or stories and ‘today’s character’ is a real human being in the present moment and placement not just your favorite actress or whatever or whomever that would follow you to the ends of the Earth. I have almost no idea right now whether others want what I want or not; I had fantasized about writing speeches and always taking my family with me on the campaign-airplane which in retrospect is not perforce responsible and might’ve been mental Bidenism. I had only felt that it would or could be good for people in the future / future Man to be aware of one another’s burdens like let your son or daughter know when you’re working really hard instead of playing / representing Santa Dad when you’re really storing up UncleHammer and CrushFather vengeance, whether motivated by presumption and reactionary atavism or by the Will of God in the case of Mr. David James Johnston must be pulverized in to ‘coulisse bright dark tragic chiaroscuro’...In ‘Coming Home Again’ Changrae Lee’s mom was telling him how hard his psychiatric dad worked in graduate school and that is something I believe kids should know but there again what if immgrant young people really do grow up or ‘come up’ with this ‘Minima Moralia’ (Adorno cf. Vatican Censoriate) sense that ‘wrong life cannot be rightly lived,’ a horrific desolate phrase, that existence is a ‘battle life’ and that evth we do right today is a down-payment on wrong tomorrow.

In the ‘diaspora(?)’ of Evangelical Christianity following the passing away of a very famous and beautifully simply and consistent apologist Ravi Zacharias there was a cataclysmic revelation concerning his treatment of masseuses, first in terms of sexual harrassment and later unless it is all ‘fake news’ the discovery of a trove of actual records of abuse. I‘m Reddit ButBothSides relativism but it really almost feels as if there had been the mentality of a ‘treasury of merit’ but I don’t even want to say anything like that. Strange keepsakes! I feel as though ‘everybody deserves to know’ I am pretty certain I could be indicted for sexual harrassment in the Republic of Korea from a specific instant I recall very vividly + it might be good to do so in view of the current society’s determination to stop driving women toward suicide but IDK whether I ough to say that to anyone in Milwaukee b/c around here they’re racists and polyamorists and it’s more CCP paleo-peudo-Confucian mistress-culture where my dad is checking out my girlfriends and orgy and procurement are considered acts of unconditional love(?). Many years ago I looked at the Joongang Daily and say a ‘diptych’ of ‘T-ARA to release new song in November’ and ‘Uhm Taewoong arraigned for solicitation in [’my last stop’]’ + I adored TIAMO but it made me sad that the yougest member of this group was posing ith little girls all carring playing cards b/c it was lke a Chaim Potok novel that said mutatis mutandis ‘child-rearing is all gambling’ which goes against my sense of what is possible and even practical with a proper chain of care and ‘absolute ownership.’ And there I had been eager to join in the American Families Plan but then it really is still public schools where (Chesterton), ‘ The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of Conservatives is to prevent mistakes from being corrected.’ Professionalism, fair compensation, training, re-training, good data, involving parents. I am just sad b/c I realized I don’t really get how good or bad the SoE’s are anymore but the costs of Chromebooks and such are immense and I’m almost 100% certain the kids still have noisy homes, no good desks, + many of the staff are single moms nursing etc. + teacher-tenure and ‘middle class wages’ IMHO have been drawing mercenary self-righteous ideologue-automoton mental Boomers for decades and they still don’t get it but I’m super-sad b/c I just have no way I know of finding out!

I like talking to psychiatrists b/c they get stuff about autism as well as in some cases literal demons and matters such as handwriting, Arabic script going ‘backwards,’ but in the end they too appear committed to doing whatever the current overlord(s) of the world order are going to do. At the mental hospital they’re writing stuff like ‘schiz- ____’ nd saying ‘sign I’ll date’ and when I say ‘that’s an official document’ the union pozzers around here are like ‘it’s my document’ like Hell it is. You’re on strike against truth and morality and that’s no joke! You better give me heart-failure tonight or I will eventually bring a suit against your ‘whole host’ but that itself is beside the point because of Delta and drones and the fact that this is a revelating(?) era and a literal Judgment of God, which I had been hoping to weather and eventually execute my long-incubating intention but I truly am concerned what could present roll over and through this city.

This spectre or menace of a saturating, superceding, overriding ‘raison d’etat’ in the earthly world order soon to come and everything going to be unsealed anyway so that your private life is really just ‘a paper heart merit-badge that says “private life” on it’ and in future even a confirmation of something or someone is not really a confirmation. Puts in mind of the MLG song ‘Kiss Me’ about ego and commitment and the valences and intersections(?) of different potential promises or forecasts. My old friend Miles used to write about kissing a lot and I had reflections about kissing and such matters but IDK now if he’s a cultural Maoist advocating to defund the LAPD or he just ‘keeps his virtue to himself’ and feeds trash the ‘Arab Street’ about not protecting weak people from criminals.

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x--daughters-of-darkness--x · 5 years

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Beyond the Boys’ Club: Amy Lee of Evanescence

"It makes me so proud anytime I see a woman in the rock world having success"

Beyond the Boys’ Club is a monthly column from journalist and radio host Anne Erickson, focusing on women in rock and metal music, as they offer their perspectives on the music industry and discuss their personal experiences. This month’s piece features an interview with Amy Lee of Evanescence.

There’s no denying that Evanescence were a game changer. When Amy Lee and company came on the scene in the early 2000s, it was a time when mainstream and active rock radio had nothing but male artists on the charts. Evanescence found themselves an anomaly alongside bands such as Limp Bizkit, Creed, and others on the active-rock radio airwaves.

Fast-forward to today, and mainstream rock radio plays a bevy of female-fronted bands, from In This Moment to Halestorm to The Pretty Reckless.

It’s safe to say Evanescence played a large part in mainstream-rock radio opening its mind to playing a female voice on the airwaves, although Lee is humble about it.

“It’s hard to really take credit, because for me, there were a lot of women that came before me,” Lee tells Heavy Consequence. “There’s Shirley Manson — there were some powerful women in my sphere in the ‘90s and the alternative era that we’re killing it. Gwen Stefani, too.”

“It’s not like I was the first-first, but to go into that active-rock space and be able to break through like we did, I did see that it was special.”

Lee spoke with Heavy Consequence for the latest Beyond the Boys’ Club column, discussing the obstacles she faced early on in her career, the rise of women in hard rock and metal over the years, her recent experience touring with a full orchestra, new Evanescence music, and more. Read the full interview below.

ON EVANESCENCE BEING A BREAKOUT ACT FOR WOMEN ON ACTIVE-ROCK RADIO IN THE EARLY 2000S

I love that it came across that way — like a victory for a female to break through, because it did feel like that, but it was a big struggle there in the end. I always thought that me being a frontwoman of our band and being in that sort of genre was a huge bonus, because it made us unique. All of the people that I loved and artists that I grew up loving were totally unique. They had a sound that nobody else had. I loved people that were doing something that when you heard them, you knew exactly who it was. That’s what I wanted. So, for me, anything about us that was special or unique, like having a woman’s voice on top of aggressive rock music, was a cool plus.

When it came time to record, I thought we were all on the same page, and we weren’t. When I came down to record and get a marketing plan and think about what’s going to happen on radio, all of a sudden, there was this big problem. That uniqueness that I’d always thought was so cool was seen as a problem by the people around us. The most giant and difficult give that I ever had to do in my career was letting that rap passage be in “Bring Me to Life.” The thing is, for me, personally, I think it made it sound kind of like somebody else. It was in a female Linkin Park kind of place, and that just wasn’t who we were meant to be.

ON EVANESCENCE’S LABEL BEING SO DETERMINED TO HAVE A MALE VOICE ON “BRING ME TO LIFE”

The reason they wanted us to do that was because they didn’t have faith at the end of the day that a female starting out with a piano all by herself would get played on rock radio. So, I felt really let down in the beginning, because I felt like I sold my soul. I felt like I had to give in and do this thing that I didn’t want to do and let a guy come and save the day so that at least there’s a man’s voice on there. I thought like that for a while, and I really hated it.

But, I’ve been very grateful, and I feel that we’ve been very blessed, because we weren’t seen as just that thing. We did get past that point, and we had another single that was a big on the radio, and none of our other songs were like that. My nightmare was that nobody would ever hear anything else from us again and that one song would be people’s understanding of our sound. So, it was an amazing thing to see our fans get it and respond around the world, and for us to be able to keep going, and for people to have the open hearts and ears to hear more and for us be able to still be doing this today.

It’s funny to talk about all that, because we literally just saw Paul McCoy, the guy that did the rap on that song, in New Orleans, and we have so much love for him, and he got up onstage and we did “Bring Me to Life” together. It brought back so many good memories. There’s so much good about it. But the fight had to be fought, and I did. It’s not that I gave in all the way, by the way. What they originally wanted was for us to hold auditions and have some guy come in and be a member of the band that was on eight out of the 11 songs on the album, and they wanted to change the whole thing, and we refused. I had to go back and live with my parents for a while until we finally settled on, “Okay, you just have to do it for this one song this way.”

Full interview in here.

#Amy Lee #Evanescence #2019 interviews

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justimajin · 5 years

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In the Making of: Catching a Case of the Doctor Blues

I’ve decided to create this post because I feel like a lot of my writing energy has gone into this series and there’s tons I can share about the making process. So huge warning ahead, this is going to be a long af post.

To make sure that this runs by smoothly, I’ll be breaking the process up into sections and talk about them each one at a time so it doesn’t look like a mess of words. I’ll be focusing on:

The Initial Idea

The Title

The Characters

The Overall Series

Alright let’s get it!

The Initial Idea:

The original story was going to be a whole lot different compared to the final end product. It wasn’t even for Taehyung or a doctor au to begin with and was actually suppose to be for Yoongi. It was going to be an office au with the same base storyline - two workers that start off as enemies but are secretly childhood friends that fell apart while growing up. Now I know what you’re thinking, how did this turn into a doctor au?

The biggest reason I had for not giving Yoongi this role (am I casting director now? lol) was because I had just finished up His First Love and didn’t want to write two Yoongi series in a row (I apologize Yoongi stans). However, the characteristics of the role really suited Yoongi’s personality and then I was stuck in the dilemma of who else I could use for this particular story.

After lots and lots (and lots…) of thinking I decided on using Taehyung. I haven’t really seen a lot of writers portray him this specific way and wanted to give it my best shot since I believe there’s a lot of heavy focus on that silly playful side of his. Might be because of fanservice, I dunno, but I really do think Taehyung is a lot more serious and smarter than he shows.

Now this brings me to the second point - the doctor au. Honestly this story could have worked just as great if it was an office au but I was coming onto the realization that it wouldn’t be enough with the base storyline. I wanted this series to be emotional and have loads of development so there had to be interrelation of work also within in it. So I was stuck in a rut. I want this to be a long series but needed something that keep the series going and not turn out to be boring.

I ended up stumbling on a picture of Taehyung with glasses (I believe its the same picture used in the moodboard) and it kind of just clicked like: omg A DOCTOR AU *frails my arms around like a crazy person* and from there I knew exactly what I wanted this series to be.

The Title:

Just thinking about this is already giving me a headache again. This part was probably the hardest to think of as I am about to go through the various titles I had come up with and how I ended up incorporating an illness metaphor in the end (wow i’m so smart now aren’t i?).

The first title gives me the most cringe - Doctors Don’t Cry. This title was actually stuck onto the series for the longest time and the more I looked at it the more I knew I had to change it. It was supposed to represent the message of doctors having to do their job but also dealing with their own emotions at the same time (which Y/N’s character is based on). Sounds like a solid idea, but that title? Yeah, no.

So Doctors Don’t Cry went into the trash and I started researching more, eventually landing onto The Doctor Switch. Supposedly this is a technique taught to doctors and it helps them restrain their emotions when dealing with patients. I thought it sounded really interesting and connected well with the story, but ended up dropping it since it sounded confusing (as in the ‘Switch Part’ could be interpreted as a literal switch which would make no sense).

Then I called it Taehyung’s Series out of frustration and that definitely meant I needed a title fast. So soon I decided on Doctor Blues - cute and simple without cringe and without confusion. However my punny side wasn’t loving it as much because it sounded too simple, so I finally got the title that I use now. PHEW.

The Characters:

Now this is the part I could just go on and on about. So once I finalized I was going to write the series I needed to figure out what my characters were going to be like. I’ll start off with Y/N and Taehyung.

Since this was going to be an enemies to lovers au, I did some research on that trope to understand it more. One of the biggest things I saw was that usually there’s some kind of reasoning for the two characters to hate each other and this aspect later on fixes itself so that the characters can grow closer. In simpler terms, I needed a solid reason for them to hate each other. In order to do this, I thought about the struggles doctor have to face on a daily basis and separated two main themes required for the job - logic and emotion.

Y/N would represent emotion and Taehyung would represent logic. Both of them would be professional and extremely good at their jobs (enemies to lovers also dictates they have some similarities) but their morals/values would conflict with each other. This was my focus in the beginning of the series with Taehyung not involving himself with any emotional situations while Y/N takes every opportunity she can to get involved. Y/N doesn’t like Taehyung because he doesn’t have an emotional side to him and Taehyung doesn’t like how Y/N gets so invested with patient care when they only need to logically fix the problem.

Let’s get deeper into the characters now shall we? Their past is a crucial part to the series and its plays a key role in developing them into the people they are in the present day. Y/N and Taehyung both grew up in Daegu, both were part of loving families and both were living peacefully as kids. Although Y/N’s mentioned to have health issues, she finds support towards it because of her childhood friend. However, both characters face loss in an extreme way. Y/N loses her mother and is forced to move away with her aunt, leaving V behind, and Taehyung loses his entire family in a car crash and then loses his home.

Now when it comes down to a horrible situation like this, its important for the person to have support from those around them. Y/N had this support in the form of her aunt and her friends during college. I don’t remember where I put this but when Jimin is feeling down because he isn’t sure how to confess to Chaeyoung, Y/N reminds him of the time he took care of her when she was missing her mom which showcases how even in hard times she had those around her supporting in some way. The same can’t be said for Taehyung. He was faced with similar circumstances but didn’t have anyone he could lean on (the only person really being Y/N but he was unable to talk to her after everything that had happened). This entire scenario reflects on them when they’re older as Y/N is more emotional (because of past support) but Taehyung is more logical (because of a lack of support).

An aspect I also tried to incorporate was as Y/N and Taehyung got closer and eventually became a couple, their younger personalities would slowly emerge out more. Y/N was described as being a lot more shy + quieter while Taehyung used to joke around + laugh a lot. In the present day, this got translated into Y/N constantly getting embarrassed with the relationship and Taehyung playfully teasing her about it.

I also tried to use their names with the character development (for the longest time all you can read is Dr. Kim and Dr. L/N). This was just used to signify how they strictly kept a professional relationship and didn’t want to associate beyond that in comparison to the rest of the staff in the hospital. But eventually this evolves into them using their names around each other more comfortably. It was also supposed to help with this wonderful equation:

V (Tae’s younger happier childish side) + Dr. Kim (Tae’s older cold strict side) = Taehyung (a mix of both).

Alright now that I’ve gone on a whole essay about the main characters, I’ll dabble into our lovely side characters. I wanted to add in the rest of BTS to this series because in the past some members would always get left out and I would feel bad because of that. So I decided to split them like this:

Head Doctor/Surgeon: Namjoon

Doctor/Surgeon:Y/N, Taehyung

Doctor: Jimin, Yoongi

Intern:Jungkook, Jin, Chaeyoung

Patient: Hoseok

I just copy and pasted that from my outline (made it a whole lot easier to track everyone that way). I’ll just go in order of talking about them. So starting off with Namjoon, he was originally supposed to have a lot more going on but I decided to tone it down a bit because I needed to balance out the other aspects of the series. Basically Namjoon was supposed to have a wife with whom he runs the hospital with and she was going to be someone Y/N would look up to and admire. Later on when Namjoon takes a leave from the hospital it’s actually because his wife is due soon and he wants to spend some more time with her. If I had more time I would have gone through with writing this but I ended up deciding not to.

Moving onto the other doctors, I needed some comic relief. I needed someone to be dramatic and hilarious when things got too serious and everyone just needed a good laugh - so this is how Jimin came to be. His relationship with Chaeyoung, his bond with Jungkook and his friendship with Y/N + Yoongi all came along with this and I honestly think he was my favorite character to write about. Yoongi became the other doctor and Y/N’s close friend when I felt bad about not writing this series for him. I also thought his personality would work out well with her personality since both are very calm and are constantly annoyed by Jimin lol.

Jungkook and Jin came along because I wanted to write some jinkook bickering for the longest of time and their age gap worked perfectly with them both being interns (cue Jungkook teasing Jin about not being a doctor yet). Chaeyoung was added because apparently this hospital has only one female worker employed...so yeah that needed to be changed. I wanted to add more female characters but there was already so much going on and keeping track of all them was like mission impossible. Hoseok exists because sope lives on he added more onto the emotional part of the story.

The Overall Series:

I’ll be straightforward and honest with my answer - planning this series out was a true nightmare. There were so many important events that needed to take place and it needed to flow properly so you wouldn’t look at it and go like ‘what the actual heck is going on right now?’. That was a huge challenge. Especially when I originally thought that 10 chapters would be enough for everything and god, I couldn’t have been even more wrong about that.

Looking back now, I’m pretty satisfied with the end result and how the slow pace actually managed to work out the way I wanted it to. I was able to balance out all the different genres too which had me worried since I couldn’t just transition from a sad scene to a funny scene abruptly - balance was definitely key.

After having huge doubts and going through this rollarcoaster of a series, I’m happy with it. I even think along the way both me and my readers ended up enjoying this series a lot more than I had expected, so thank you for that.

#alright im done #this took longer than expected #i hope someone reads this giant thing #and if someone does then let me know if you guys want to see more of these #with any of my works #in the making

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soulvomit · 4 years

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That's another thing about how I came up regarding gender.

Most of the nostalgia and the stuff women are allowed to like (and *especially* most of the stuff that LGBTQ girls are allowed to like!) is very, very specific. It must be candy colored and have an edifying message. It must not have power fantasy stuff in it, but must be about sharing and caring and mutualism and mind-numbing stultifying conformity.

When I was in my rebellious phase, part of my rebellion was against the idea that just because I was a white girl, every thought and utterance of mine had to be socially acceptable and edifying and wholesome.

As a kid, I liked boys' stuff, and nerdy stuff. I liked fast cars, auto racing, computers, and outer space. (I was also into ballet. Go figure.) My neighborhood friends tended to be boys and tomboyish girls.

The exception is Barbie... I loved Barbie. I also loved dance, especially the gendered clusterfuck that was ballet, and I suspect "user controls the narrative" was part of it. When I was in ballet lessons, I made up my own ballets.

With Barbie, part of it is that Barbie & her friends had relatively little baked in narrative or framing (aside from Barbie being rich.) I could make up my own stories and settings for my dolls to exist in. Barbie could be a race car driver or astronaut in my head, even if those accessories didn't exist. She could be anything I wanted her to be. She was a relatively blank slate. Barbie could live in her Barbie mansion with her wife Midge, and they could be waited on by Ken. One Barbie could be an entertainment lawyer and my other Barbies could have a rock band. (I grew up in LA in the 80s.) Barbie was the only female figure I found remotely aspirational! And most of all, Barbie wasn't as defined by pre-set outfits and looks as other girl-marketed properties were; I could clothe my Barbies 100% in my own stylistic creations if I wanted to, i could use magic markers and color their hair punk colors, and I did.

But Rainbow Brite? Strawberry Shortcake? Lisa Frank's oeuvre? All the stuff you all adore? Especially My Little Pony and Care Bears?

I HATED THEM ALL. Hated them, hated them, hated them. You couldn't make up your own story. They were propagandistic in a way. My friends - the neighborhood boys and tomboys - didn't like these toys and the girls who did, generally were the ones who othered me.

And if you didn't like this stuff, you were basically a horrible person who deserved to have no friends, or something.

And guess what? Now, if you don't like female-marketed stuff and you're female, *especially if female and LGBTQ* - you're treated like you're a horrible person who deserves to have no friends. (But beyond merely being female, it feels like we have a weird aesthetic marketing thing presently of the two marketing genders, Cis Men and Everyone Else. Being in the Everything Else and not consuming the right media is treated as actively problematic.) It's weirdly like we're presently dealing with the gender wars by imposing infantilized female-targeted stuff on anyone who isn't a cis het man. I REALLY AM LOST IN THIS ZEITGEIST.

(She-Ra showed up a little late in the game for me. I loved the women characters in He-Man though and it was an early indicator that I was going to later 1) come out as queer 2) become a fan of Heavy Metal Magazine.)

I found this stuff alienating as fuck.

Because I was a girl I was SUPPOSED to like pink ponies and SUPPOSED to be the moral guardian of the world (many female hero narratives are steeped in white middle class moral guardianship as opposed to just being power fantasies; this is a huge part in Gen X and Millennial villain fandom, I suspect).

Also, because I was so universally rejected by feminine girls and so many of my friends were boys and tomboys, a lot of my consumption was going to be in the things we could actually watch together and games we could play together.

At the time, that was stuff like Star Trek, (oldschool) Battlestar Galactica, Superfriends, He-Man. One thing about 80s and 90s nerd properties is that they offered the most diverse array of personality traits and character types; boys didn't have to play Captain Kirk, they could also be Mr. Spock. And with the movies showing women in command (this is probably why the "Monster Maroon" era is my favorite nostalgic Trek) there wasn't a reason a girl couldn't play a captain.

Ghostbuster and Starfleet officer were JOBS, not genders.

But this was missing from most mainstream media that wasn't "nerdy."

I had a younger male neighbor friend when I was 9 and we'd pretend we were the Wonder Twins. I was okay with female-gendered characters in stuff I could enjoy in mixed-gender groups. Look, when you're the smallest generational cohort and there are only 2 other kids on any block - when it comes to the gender of your friends, beggars can't be choosers.

Btw, know what sucked about a lot of 80s kids media? Did anyone here actually WATCH the original He-Man? You know how that annoying little shit Orko (because he really was seen in a similar light to Jar-Jar and other annoying characters in his own day) always gave some kind of moralistic message?

Yeah. You're all fucking doing that again. Quit it.

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imaginespplwrite · 6 years

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BTS FicRecs

ALL Members

Working Man (M) ✎ @dark-muse-iris ✎ A collection of stories where the leading man has a working class occupation

BANGmeTAN (M) An in depth look behind the scenes of adult film, starring the seven, sexy men who have captured the industry (BTS Porn Star!AU). (on-going)

You Never Shop Alone (M) A look into the love lives of seven of the mall’s best and biggest fuck boys. With all of them housed in the same vicinity, nonsense is a guarantee, but romance? … just you wait and see

Deadly Intentions (M) What do you think happens when a supernatural being’s intentions are anything but pure? Do you scream out for help, or give in to your deepest desires?

Snowball effect (M) We find our boys in very different places. Some are falling in love, someone’s just falling on their ass. Some are getting through it just fine, while another finds himself in a tight spot. All are determined to maintain their yearly tradition of meeting up at Tae’s cabin in the woods for New Year’s Eve. It’s promised to be a weekend full of debauchery, relaxation, and Jin’s delicious baked goods… so long as everyone can make it with their hearts (and pride) still intact. Seven little secrets, tangled in each other’s stories like twinkling lights on a wire, rolled up like a snowball, and wrapped up with bow; The Snowball Effect.

Kiss Land ✎ @njssi ✎ Not into kisses leading into nothing

Namjoon (RM)

Until you make it (M) ✎ @versigny ✎ It’s Christmas dinner and you didn’t want to disappoint your parents by not bringing someone...

The take home test (M) ♔ ✎ @versigny ✎ College!AU, in which your mission to deliver homework to Kim Namjoon goes very, very, wrong.

Does this look like a joke sweetheart Part2 Part3 Part4 Part5 Part6(final) ✎ @that-loser-certain-to-be-crooked ✎ Studying late turns out to be a lot more eventful than you had originally assumed. How about taking the subway next time?

PhD (pretty huge d...) (M) ♔ ✎ @oilblotter ✎ “What is with you?! Stop leaning in so close to me!” + best friend!namjoon

Obligated (M) ✎ @underthejoon ✎ Married by obligation, weighed down by circumstance. Except for those nights when you’re both drunk, falling into bed with one another and realising you’re human. Occasionally this happens, occasionally you fuck. Until your life changes and you realise Namjoon, the very man you’re obligated to, might just be the very man that you crave.

If you would stay (M) ✎ @remembeo ✎ “Come back home.” Always. mafia!au

The Rich Man’s Crochet Club (M) ♔ ✎ @kpopfanfictrash ✎ When they were freshmen in college, Namjoon began a club with his six closest friends. The one thing they all had in common? V i r g i n s as fuck. Obviously, they couldn’t call the club the Virgins Club though and so, the Rich Man’s Crochet Club was born. Until time passes and Namjoon is the only one left. Now, the Club has one, final mission: to get Namjoon laid.

Underground king (M) ♔ ✎ @sugaxjpg ✎ Eventually you came to the realisation that, if Namjoon was the king of the underground, you were as close as he would ever get to a queen.

Something in the way (M) Pt2 ✎ @tayegi ✎ When your student debts stack up too high, you decide to apply for a position to take care of Kim Namjoon’s heat for three days…

Omertà (M) ♔ ✎ @lamourche ✎ A story about an unlikely mob boss and his mafia princess wife. This is a love story set in a brutal world.

Catnapped (M) ✎ @dreamyjoons ✎ sometimes pets know better. But you and Namjoon have never been good at accepting the truth, no matter where it comes from.

More than words (M) ✎ @ironicarmy ✎ You and Namjoon have been painfully -and blindingly- pining for each other since your teenage years, much to your friends’ chagrin. So, unbeknownst to both of you, Seokjin and the rest plan to finally make you confess during a ski trip.

Seokjin (Jin)

Golden boy (M) ✎ @kpopfanfictrash ✎ The golden boy of the porn industry, prettier than half his female co-stars. Will sue if you pull his hair. Always bothering his neighbors with pizza delivery.

All Along (M) ✎ @underthejoon ✎ It’s no surprise when you learn you’ll soon be engaged to one of the Kim brothers. What does come as a shock, is just how determined Seokjin is to make sure that person is him.

My Type (M) ✎ @floralseokjin ✎ you take the college nerd’s virginity

Revenge is a Dish Best Served... Hot? (M) ✎ @tayegi ✎ When your roommate keeps you up late at night with her noisy rendezvous with male overnight guests, you and Seokjin team up to plot your revenge… How? With a taste of her own medicine, of course.

Heat (M) ✎ @thewanderingalias ✎ He was there when you needed him most, and now, he needs you.

Like this? (M) ✎ @jeonshome ✎ your neighbour, Seokjin, teaches you exactly how he likes to be touched.

Pink (M) ✎ @tayegi ✎ Seokjin has been holding himself back

Roomie (M) ✎ @hobibliophile ✎ When you first moved in with Jin, you thought you had hit the roommate jackpot. Turns out, living in the same apartment with this gorgeous man is a lot harder than you thought it’d be. He didn’t do anything wrong, and neither did you. It’s just this pesky thing called sexual tension.

Yoongi (Suga)

Mixtape (M) ✎ @jungblue ✎ Two mystery students from your college run the podcast dubbed ‘mixtape.’ It’s become a sort of phenomenon around campus, listened to by almost everyone. In their most recent episode they discussed various study methods… One of them being oh so tempting.

Buzz(M) 2(M) 3(M) ✎ @floralseokjin ✎ in which you’re unsure if you’ve ever received an orgasm and when you finally pluck up the courage to use the vibrator you bought that one day on a whim, Yoongi barges through the door…

Breakfast in Bed (M) ✎ @joonbird ✎ Min Yoongi, a grumpy Ikea employee, is wondering who you are and why exactly you’re sleeping in the display bed at his Ikea.

Love is for the birds baby! (M) ✎ @mininky ✎ You refuse to believe in love. It’s a concept created by big corporations like hallmark to get sad saps like you to buy their shit. But it’s all fake. You’re convinced of that at least until a series of events with a certain tattoo artist who you loved to hate makes you question everything you’ve ever known

Conversations (M) ✎ @im-too-old-for-bts ✎ It’s Yoongi’s birthday and you hadn’t thought you’d get an invitation to his party, let alone find yourself spending most of the night terrified and clinging hopelessly to him. Not that you’re complaining or anything…. But oddly enough, Yoongi doesn’t seem to be complaining either…

Late Bloomer (M) ✎ @tayegi ✎ You were always just a few years behind everyone else, but it was never a big deal. werewolf!au

Play thing (M) ✎ @minnpd ✎ The guy working at the sex shop wasn’t being very subtle

Exitus Acta Probat (M) ✎ @bang-tan-bitches ✎ “All you need to know is that my name is Yoongi and you’re mine now.”

The Devil Skates on Thin Ice ✎ @vankoya ✎ The number one rule of Korea National Sport University is to never allow their elite figure skater and the captain of the ice hockey team be in the same room. Or in their case, on the same ice rink. They are infamously known for riling each other up in any way possible, and for having a mysterious history that even their closest friends know nothing about.

Taehyang (V)

Insomnia (M) ✎ @oppamansae ✎ “you have to be quiet, the others are around”

Dichotomy (M) ✎ @kpopfanfictrash ✎ You hate him. He hates you. It’s a fine line though, isn’t it – between love and hate? (Arranged Marriage!AU)

Nerves (M) ✎ @tayegi ✎ In a lab experiment gone horribly wrong your nervous system is merged with Kim Taehyang

Bibliothèque (M) ✎ @joonbird ✎ You are the very top of your college cohort, an A grade student on the fast track to a life of success. You know the answers to everything, or at leased you think you do. That is until you meet quirky genius Kim Taehyung.

Guilty Pleasure (M) ✎ @jungkxook ✎ Notorious pranker Kim Taehyung is adored by all, but all he really wants is your attention.

Buzzed (M) PT2 ✎ @junqkook ✎ maybe ordering a vibrator and letting your best friend open your mail wasn’t such a great idea.

Come play (M) ✎ @littlemeowmeowschimmy ✎ Taehyung wondered if you wanted to play with him…

The Holi-Date (M) ✎ @kpopfanfictrash ✎ When your ex-boyfriend becomes engaged to his new girlfriend at your annual Holiday party, you admittedly are not in the best place. Which explains why you down six shots of alcohol, enthusiastically drop it low on the dance floor and – oh, yeah – tell everyone you are also dating someone. The only problem? You are obviously not. Good thing your neighbor happens to be cute and in need of a ride to work every morning.

Dick on the go (M) ✎ @jeonggukingdom-archive ✎ It was all shits and giggles when you and Taehyung were desperate seniors in High School, having no idea what to do with your lives, wondering if you’d ever find a decent job or even graduate in the first place. It is not so funny anymore when you come home from the big city to enjoy your vacation time and you find his sex-shop right in front of the house you grew up in when you were a kid.

Marshmallows and Report Cards (M) ❀ ✎ @taetaewonderland ✎ You can’t stop thinking about one of your students father.

Jung kook

Laundry day (M) ♔ ✎ @jinjikook ✎ jeongguk always pioneered one household chore: laundry. now why he had such an affinity for it, you had no idea. that is, until you come home and he lost track of time, causing you to stumble upon him in the midst of something strange and yet altogether intriguing.

Stuffed Pumpkin (M) ✎ @floralseokjin ✎ Hooking up with the guy you’re neutral towards isn’t how you expected your night to go, especially dressed as a pumpkin…

Ruin the friendship (M) Part2 (M ✎ @kpopfanfictrash ✎ your drunk ass best friend keeps calling you to take care of him and it wouldn’t be so awful, if it weren’t for The Feelings. (best friends to lovers!AU)

...And action (M) ✎ @prolixitae ✎ jungkook likes to film illegal stunts around the globe for his dedicated audience. because of you, his right-hand navigator, he gets to travel to beautiful places he’s only ever seen in textbooks. but in the wake of a mishap involving poisonous shrubbery, now’s a perfect time for him to confess his undying love for more than just videography. or, “I know you’re my best friend but I’ve wanted to kiss you since the day we met” au

Starboy (M) ✎ @sugaxjpg ✎ Jeon Jungkook was, above anything else, the type you should not get involved with. He was the guy who slept around; the guy who was gone before you woke up; who left a path of broken hearts and missed calls wherever he went. He was right in just about every wrong way. That being said, maybe the bet you made with your friend could be the best thing that happened to you in a long time, and even enough to break the chain of misfortune that circled your party nights — after all, it was all just a simple, four-part plan to make Jungkook beg for you. What could possibly go wrong?

The millionaire and his lover (M) ✎ @gukyi ✎ over the course of your lifelong friendship with jungkook, you can’t say that you’ve ever had the greatest ideas, and a fake relationship with the boy you’ve been in love with for years is no exception.

The push (M) ✎ @underthejoon ✎ Jungkook needed the push to tell you his feelings

Steamy (M) PT2 PT3 PT4 ✎ @jungkookiebus ✎ You’re roommates with your older brother, Jimin, who is having some of his friends over and he’s strictly forbade you from hanging out with them; he has a feeling you like one of his friends and he’s avoiding having your presence in the home. Unfortunately for him and good for you, that person in question accidentally walks in on you in your bath.

Fast and definitely furious (M) ✎ @parkmuse ✎ Car sex looks so much easier in the movies

Caught me (M) ✎ @jeonshome ✎ You hate your temporary roommate, Jungkook and it doesn’t help that he’s been catching you at the most inconvenient of times.

Mark me (M) ✎ @littlemeowmeowschimmy ✎ Jungkooks’ excuses were getting too much. You needed answers, and you needed them now

Howling for You (M) ✎ @fortunexkookie ✎ The way your Little Red Riding Hood costume lured over a fuckboy in a half-assed werewolf costume was a little cliche, but god damn was he beautiful. He promised he had plenty of big things to show you, and you took him up on the offer, not realizing that you might’ve bitten off more than you could chew

Monogamy Monologues (M) ✎ @kpopfanfictrash ✎ The year? Some point after college. The occasion? Namjoon is getting married and the Rich Man’s Crochet Club has convened once again. Somewhere between the drinks and the laughter, everyone has the same realization: Jungkook has never been in a serious relationship. In the name of all that is holy (Overwatch and booze), the club’s mission is revived. Now though, their goal is much more perilous. Now, they aim to find Jeon Jungkook a girlfriend.

Banana milk (M) ✎ @kimnjss ✎ sent to the grocery store in the middle of the day, you’d never believe who you ran into in the milk aisle.

Truth or dare (M) ❀ ✎ @deliriousscenarios ✎ Junkook find out you’re a virgin and wont drop it.

Mission Impossible (M) ❀ ✎ @hobiwonder ✎ When you find out that your groupmate is whoring it up on tinder instead of handing in his part of the project, you go on a mission to teach him a lesson. And maybe get him to finish his part.

Hoseok (J-Hope)

Climbing (M) ✎ @im-too-old-for-bts ✎ An embarrassing moment from your past comes back to haunt you in the form of one of your cousin’s neighbours, Jung Hoseok.

Playing house Part2 Part3 Part4(M) Part5 Part6 Part7 Part8(M) ✎ @mak-baes ✎ it’s not like you’re hard pressed for cash, but there is that spring break trip you need to save up for, so why not grab your best friend and pretend to be a couple for some research study? what could possibly go wrong? (Finished)

Burn In Hell (She Said) (M) ✎ @floralseokjin ✎ Hoseok’s taste is singular. That is his sexual taste. Singular only for humans. Being the lord of the underworld (his title… Seokjin wouldn’t be so happy), means his needs get taken care of instantly. Humans litter the place, soulless and trapped there for eternity. But then you rock up, in all your demoness glory (no title needed), and suddenly he wants a taste of his own medicine. Devil meets devil. Only you don’t fall to your knees so willingly…

Hot rod (M) ✎ @kinktae ✎ a 1950′s inspired fic where greaser hoseok can’t keep his eyes, or hands, off the new waitress at his and his boys’ favorite diner.

Just Practice (M) ✎ @lamourche ✎ The second time you hook up with Jung Hoseok, he doesn't remember the first time. You're surprised. It was only a few weeks ago, and you were in a broom closet. That has to be different, right? (Well, not really, you'll learn.)

Photographs (you’re taking now)(M) ❀ ✎ @bangtan-sonyeondanope ✎ Snapshots taken from her life, her child’s, his life and his child’s. From happiness to grief, the path that took two broken pieces to form one bigger, kind-of-whole picture.

Jimin

Snap Decision (M) ✎ @noona-la-la-la ✎ A chance meeting with a stranger at a bar helps you recover from a bad break up.

Locked in love (M) ✎ @parkmuse ✎ Getting locked in the mall on Christmas eve isn’t ideal, but getting locked in the mall with your brothers best friend that you haven’t seen in a while? Well, it might have been alright if you didn’t have feelings for him.

Syndicate (M) ✎ @jungkookiebus ✎ Your husband is the biggest arms dealer in Korea. It’s the night of the President’s Ball and a pre-planned hit on top government officials while Jimin is separated from you. Using what Jimin taught you, you successfully escape the resort and make it home to an empty house. It’s not too long after that a panicked Jimin finds you at home and shows you just how thankful he is that you’re safe.

The Fuckening (M) ✎ @underthejoon ✎ Jimin falls for the cute girl in his class. One who’s just as big of a tease as he is.

Star Light, Star Bright (M) ✎ @readyplayerhobi ✎ Life has not gone exactly how Park Jimin imagined, and yet he can’t possibly imagine his life any different to what it is now. After six hard and stressful years, he’s now the happy owner of a degree along with being the proud dad of his little girl. But what happens when he meets you and his life is tipped upside down once more?

Physical (M) ✎ @ppersonna ✎ you cant seem to escape the sexy fitness instructor that seemingly is everywhere you turn. it’s enough to make you irrational.

Masterlist

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of-storms-and-saints-blog · 6 years

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Part 01: Tainted Hero Chapter 11: A Proper Grey Warden “How do you feel?” Duncan’s face hovered over her own, his expression neutral. A small hint of relief reflected in his eyes. “Like I’ve been trampled by a Gurn . . . And that nightmare . . .” “What did you see?” “The horde . . . Thousands of nightgangers . . . And . . . And a huge dragon . . . The Archdemon.” Duncan nodded. “Now you understand how we know this is a Blight. I’ve arranged a meeting with King Cailan and General Loghain at mid-morning. I want you and Alistair present.” “Me? I’ve only been a Grey Warden for a few minutes.” “I can’t discuss it now, but there’s an important task you and Alistair are best equipped for.” Duncan turned on his heel and left. Brina glanced back at Jory and Daveth. At some point after she passed out, Alistair and Duncan had wrapped the bodies and draped blue flags with the Grey Warden’s silver griffon sigil over them both. Such a waste, but I understand now. Thank you, Korth, for delivering me from such a fate. Alistair sighed heavily. “Two more dead . . . At my Joining only one of us died, but it was . . . Horrible.” They stood in silence for a time. Brina couldn’t erase the images of their deaths from her mind. Without warning, her stomach growled loudly. Sudden hunger brought cramps to her stomach. “By-the-way, you’re going to be very hungry for a few hours. It was a surprise to me too.” Brina shot him a look of irritation. “Thanks . . .” A broad grin spread across Alistair’s face. “Don’t mention it!” “You could have warned me sooner.” “Where’s the fun in that?” Alistair unbuttoned a pouch on his belt and took out a slice of bread wrapped in cheesecloth. “Here, it’s not much, but it will get you between here and the breakfast fire at the Warden’s Camp.” The hunger prompted Brina to snatch the bread from his hand and devour it in two bites. After she swallowed the last mouthful, her eyes grew in embarrassment and horror. She covered her mouth. “I’m so sorry! I don’t know what’s come over me.” Alistair laughed. “I told you! Go get some food. I’ll take care of everything here.” Brina nodded and went down the steps. She turned at the bottom. Alistair had knelt between both bodies with his head in one hand. This . . . This is only the beginning, isn’t it? Brina, what have you gotten yourself into? She followed the scent of food; eggs, sausages, flatbreads, various roasting meats and fish from the Wilds. Vegetables were somewhat scarce with winter so close at hand. As long as the battle was soon, what food remained would last the journey home, however far it might be. So long as they won. Brina found herself back at the infirmary. It had become familiar. Sister Paulette greeted her with a smile. “Good morning, Sister . . . Ah . . . May I have some of that?” Over the central fire were several pans. One had sliced sausages and scrambled eggs. Brina’s mouth watered and her stomach growled again. “Of course!” “My thanks.” Paulette handed Brina a full plate. She then went to a nearby table and sliced a chunk of bread and spread some butter on it. “Here. A shipment from Rainesfere came in just before you arrived. They haven’t sent soldiers, but at least they are helping . . .” Brina struggled with her food. She wanted to eat it in a single gulp, but she forced herself to eat slowly, one bite and a time. “What is your name, Sister?” Paulette’s face turned red. “I’m sorry, I never introduced myself! My name is Sister Paulette.” “Where are you from?” “Edgehall, originally. I lived in Honnleath for a time when I was little. Then my family moved to Denerim. It was there I joined the Chantry. Being the youngest of six with few prospects, it made the most sense. What about you? I know you’re Avvar . . . But that’s it.” Brina swallowed a particularly large bite. Her appetite was getting the better of her. “My hold is the- was . . . The Black Wolf Hold. I am called Brina Ulriksdotten, daughter of Ulrik Brynjolfsen. He was the Master of Hunt. Considered the best in our region even among the other holds. He was such an expert, the Thane depended on him during war times for organization. My Ma was Aela Caldansdotten O Stone Bear Hold.” Brina laughed to herself at the thought of a story she was once told. “You know, my Da was so good at hunting and tracking, he managed to sneak into Stone Bear, steal my Ma, and sneak out without even leaving footprints. What makes it even more impressive was the fact he had announced he would sneak in that night and challenged the Thane into doubling the guard and having them watch for him.” Paulette nearly dropped her cup. “He stole her? I don’t understand. That’s so . . . That’s so-” “Barbaric?” Brina raised her brows. Paulette blushed again. Brina laughed. “‘Ts all right. I know how it sounds. That’s how it’s done.” Brina paused and took a drink of water, noting that Paulette was listening very intently. “She was willing and even helped. The Thane of Stone Bear was so impressed that he pledged a blood oath to our hold . . . If only they had known we needed help . . .” “What do you mean?” “Do you know how Duncan recruited me?” “The Warden-Commander?” “He was visiting the hold when I underwent my ritual to become a shaman . . . The hold was attacked by nightgangers. Darkspawn. It happened so fast, during the night. No warning. No time to react. Too many for my hold to take.” Paulette's hands were over her mouth. “Oh . . . I- I had no idea . . . I'm s- . . . I'm so sorry, Brina.” Brina shook her head. “I will not rest until every last one of those bastards is dead. It may not bring back my hold, and I'm sure there are too many nightgangers for me to take alone, but I'm going to try.” “I . . . I think I would too . . . were I in your place.” Brina finished off her stew and bread. “Thank you again, Paulette. How are Carver and Aveline? The injured soldiers from yesterday?” “Aveline's fine. Senior Enchanter Wynne completely healed her. She'll go back to the main camp today. Carver-” A commotion broke out. A large man with messy jet black hair and blue eyes tried to force his way between the guards at the entrance. His armor bore no sigil. In fact, it appeared his armor was pieced from multiple sets and were ill-fitted for someone as burly as he was. “I need to see my brother! I need to see Carver!” “Ser, you cannot just barge in here! The patients here need rest to heal.” From across the infirmary, Wynne approached calmly. She placed a hand on one guard's shoulder and the other on Carver's brother's arm. The men stopped struggling. “Ma'am, are you in charge here? Please, how is Carver? I only just heard. When the soldiers didn't report back this morning, I thought he was dead! But he is here . . . I must see him. Please.” Wynne turned to the guards. “It's all right. Let him in. I will take him to his brother.” The guards released him. “Thank you. Where is he?” “This way. What is your name, Ser?” “Garrett. Garrett Hawke.” Wynne and Garrett approached a tent, where Brina assumed Carver was being kept. “What? What are you doing here?” That was Carver's voice, I think. “What do you mean, 'what am I doing here?' I thought you were dead and then found out you were here. I came to see if you were okay!” “I'm sure you did. You came to gloat because you came back from your scouting mission unscathed.” “Well . . . I- . . . No. All right, maybe. Did you at least get the bastard that did that?” “Do you really care?” “Yes. I need to know you aren't going to go on a revenge rampage.” “Yes, I got him.” “Good. You won't be able to participate in the main battle tomorrow.” “What? They said I'd be good to go!” “I say you're not.” “That's not fair! You're not Mother. You're not Father either!” “Carver . . .” “No! Say it. Say I'm going to be at the battle!” “I just don't think you're ready.” “I'm going. I don't care what you say.” “You-” Garrett cut himself off before growling. He was silent for a moment. “Fine, but you will be at my side the whole time. Mother can't know. Or Marian . . . Or Bethany for that matter. This is between you and me.” Brina couldn't see them, but Carver's voice dripped with sarcasm. “Yes, Mother.” Garrett sighed loudly. “How do you feel?” “Fine.” “I'll . . . I'll let you rest . . .” Garrett emerged from the tent, rubbing his face. Under his breath, as he passed Brina and Paulette, he muttered, “Fucking little shit. He's damn lucky I love 'im.” Brina glanced at Paulette. “Well . . . That answers that . . . I must be going.” “Oh! All right.” Brina made her way to the Grey Warden Camp to find Alistair. At the entrance, another guard stood watch. At first, he eyed her suspiciously but seemed to recognize her. “Warden Brina?” “Aye.” “A messenger was just sent to find you. Report to Warden Constable Amaya. She has some equipment for you.” “Where is she?” “Follow this row. Third on the right.” Brina followed the row and stopped at the third tent on the right. The flap was tied open. She bent to glance inside. “Well don't just stand there. Come on in.” “Oh!” She entered the tent but was unable to stand upright. The tent was too short for her. As her eyes adjusted to the dimly lit tent, Brina was surprised. Warden Constable Amaya was a dwarf. Her hair was shoulder length and mostly grey. Half of it was pulled back into a ponytail. What was surprising to Brina, was the fact that most female dwarves she had encountered kept a clean-shaven face. Amaya had thick mutton chops on her cheeks and a long braided goatee that was tucked into her belt. This dwarf was obviously a warrior. Her armor was made of thick plate. The few bits of visible leather and cloth were dyed blue, matching the Grey Warden sigil that decorated most of the tent's furnishings. Inside the tent sat a cot and a table covered in maps and messages. A gigantic, very thick two-handed hammer was propped against the bed. A large number of mugs laid about as well. It was then Brina realized the air smelled heavily of liquor. It was almost enough to make Brina feel warm and fuzzy. “So, I see you survived the Joining. Good thing, too. We lost every single recruit in the last three groups.” Amaya never once looked up at Brina; instead she was focused on one particular map in front of her. “Be prepared for nightmares until the sodding Archdemon is dead. Then get used to it. Drinking helps sometimes. Drowns it out.” Amaya looked at her. “Until then, you need better gear. You can keep your staff . . . Or whatever that is, but we have armor that will better protect you from melee and ranged attacks. And, as a Warden, you're expected to bear the sigil.” Amaya gestured at Brina, and they left the tent. Brina was relieved to stretch upright again. She blinked at the bright light. “Normally, I'd tell you that you'll be kept to the back, up high so you can strike at a distance, but the Warden-Commander told me he has a different job for you. So your gear has some modifications.” They walked all the way down the row and stopped in front of a blacksmith. “Hey! Jerome!” The man stopped hammering. “Yes, Warden Constable?” “Is the new recruit's shit done?” “Eh? Oh, yea. It's here. Just got it back from the Tranquil about ten minutes ago.” Blacksmith Jerome went to a chest and pulled out several armor pieces; several layers of chainmail and padded leather, a metal breastplate, bracers and shin guards, a set of rerebraces with griffon-shaped pauldrons, and cuisses. Lastly, she was handed a helmet with griffon wings adorning the sides. “Oh, Sweet Tyrrda's Tits . . . I've never worn anything like this before . . .” Warden Constable Amaya blinked at her. “That's right. I forgot you're a savage. Come, I'll take you to Warden Lorrel. She was one of the last recruits who survived before you. She's also a mage. She can show you how to put on your shit. This way. Thanks, Jerome.” Jerome grunted and resumed hammering. Brina followed Amaya two rows over and back up the direction they had come. They were about seven tents down from the entrance. Both flaps were tied back. “Hey! Lorrel! Help this new Warden.” Amaya turned on her heel and left. Brina stood looking back and forth between the tent and the dwarf. An elf appeared from the darkness. “She's a bit much, 'in't she?” “Ah, aye . . .” “Ya never worn armor before, have ya?” Brina shook her head. “A'ight, com'on. First, take off your outer layers, but keep your small clothes on . . . Trust me. Chaffs less . . . then put this on.” Lorrel tossed one of the chainmail layers at her. Brina noticed it had a soft cloth layer on the inside and had straps that went around her feet and hands to keep the sleeves and legs from riding up. Gaps on the inside of her elbow and knees for improved moving and comfort were also present. Brina noted the flap tied between her legs. And here I thought I'd have to worry about bathroom breaks. “Okay, now this layer.” Lorrel tossed another layer of chainmail. This draped over her like a tunic with straps at the sides. It went down to her knees. Lorrel threw the padded leather. It also hung like a tunic and was about the same length as the chainmail tunic. It was striped blue and white with a black belt around her waist. “I'll help ya with everything else. They're tricky the first couple times.” Lorrel slid the breastplate over Brina's head and tightened the straps. The bracers had leather gloves attached. Brina got them on, and Lorrel tightened the belts. The rerebraces and pauldrons were trickier, but soon they were strapped to her upper arms and shoulders as well. Brina slipped her boots on. The shin guards covered the front of her knees and part of the top of her foot with tiered plate. The cuisses attached to her belt. When it was all on, Lorrel helped her connect them together. “There now! A proper Grey Warden ya are!” “Thank you.” She glanced outside, and a realization hit. Brina's eyes grew wide. “Hakkon's balls, I'm late! I'm sorry, I must go. I need to get to a meeting. Thank you, again!” Brina ducked through the opening of the tent and dashed out of the camp back toward the old temple. On the way out, the guard at the entrance yelled after her. She didn't hear most of it, but managed to catch the words “Alistair” and “war meeting.” She waved behind her.

#fanfiction #dragonage #dragonageorigins #avvar #avvarorigin

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officialthiamlibrary · 6 years

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Welcome to another profile on Behind the Screens, giving you personal insight on who your favorite creators are and what they do when they aren’t wowing you with their creative ability.

Happy Tuesday friends! Today, we have the delightful pleasure in getting to know one of your most requested authors, @formerprincess. Rena, our aforementioned guest, is the writer of numerous works, most notably A Tale of Claws and Fangs, Overslept, and Finding My Way To You. As you’ll come to find out, she’s also so much more, so let’s not wait a second more to dive in.

Rena! To get us started, share something about yourself! And for the twist: the word could should be around the number of letters of the characters in you’re favorite TW rarepair ship.

Erica Reyes + Stiles Stilinski = 25

Shy but it you know me I can be pretty weird. Huge book lover. Disney Fangirl. Big heart. Need writing like air. Wrestling fan.

Woah, really?! A wrestling fan? What got you into it?

I get this question so often haha. Because I appear so shy and innocent, people are always like: What? Wrestling? You? It’s fun.

My dad watched it for a while and sometimes I watched it with him, nothing too invested. But then I learned about Nikki and Brie Bella over tumblr rp and I got really curious about them so I researched online. I love them both, especially Brie, love that they stand for strong women and through them I started to actively watch Wrestling and over time gathered some other wrestlers, male and female, I love to see in the ring. It’s fun to watch them and what they do in the ring is impressive.

From wrestling to Teen Wolf, I dig it! And, how you find your way to the Thiam fandom? What about the two grabbed a hold on you?

That’s kind of a long story. I started watching Teen Wolf because I saw gifs and pictures of it on tumblr. I got curious and wanted to see this show but it wasn’t broadcasted on TV in my country, so I kind of searched online for a way and I watched until the point where Liam was introduced in the series but then stopped because I lost interest and with work I was too busy to even think of Teen Wolf. And then I was on tumblr and I saw a gifset of the scene where Liam and Theo almost fistbumped and I was like ‘Oh hey, these two are cute together.’ I don’t even know why, I just liked the chemistry they had in the scene, Theo’s soft smile, and all. I grew curious who they were because I recognized Liam but I had no idea who Theo was. Quick online search. Aha, those two are Theo and Liam, Thiam for short. Interesting. The Thiam fandom was so very small at this point, there like five fanfics or whatever, so I didn’t really get much from my little expedition into the Thiam fandom.

I kind of forgot about them again because life and other stuff and all and then I saw something about Theo being evil months after my little encounter with the Thiam fandom and I was all ‘Wait a minute! What? But he and Liam…What the hell is going on?’. I was totally confused and stayed confused until was finally able to watch Teen Wolf again (I watched because I heard about the series ending and felt nostalgic so I gave it another shot). I watched season 4, 5, and season 6A and I was hooked!! And so ready for more screen time of Theo and Liam together, so ready to see what would happen to my boys.Tumblr came in handy again and damn had the fandom grown. I saw what everybody had to offer and the ship itself gave me so much inspiration that I wanted to contribute and put in my own two cents on them. The fandom was so welcoming and friendly, it felt like a family from the start and thus I decided to stay. I met many great people because of Thiam already, it’s really awesome.

What drew me in about them? The unspoken chemistry between them, not only romantically but also platonically. Even when I saw gifsets from them without any context, the looks they shared showed such a connection for me, I was astonished and delighted. And when I saw the whole scenes with them, every episode, I liked how different they acted around each other. I always felt like they got each other to a point no other was possible. That doesn’t mean I don’t like the relationship they have with other characters but I always felt they had this special level of a connection. As if they found their ideal counterpart with each other because they both have this fire inside them and don’t shy away from unleashing it.

Oooh, that last bit is so poetic!

Thank you. It came to my mind while I laid in bed and couldn’t fall asleep. When I thought of this, I sat up and almost yelled “That it! That’s Thiam!” Thank god I didn’t or I would have scared the neighbours probably haha.

Haha, most definitely. What’s another thing you’re passionate about beside Thiam and wrestling?

Being creative in general, not only writing. I mean, yes, writing is the biggest thing I am passionate about. I view writing as a way to deal with the stress of daily life and I would go crazy if I couldn’t write. I also write poetry sometimes.

But not only writing, sometimes I like to create some picture collage or maybe an outfit on Polyvore. Or I simply create things in my head, characters, storylines, worlds, whatever I can think of at those moments. Sometimes I take my thoughts and try to realize them in my Sims game, it’s fun.

LOL, fellow Sims lover! This is one of my fav things to do! What’s been your favorite characters/scenario to conceptualize in the game? How did the game turn out? Any entertaining stories?

Hey, that’s great haha! I love to do this and I’m currently building some houses I could use as inspiration for my stories. I usually play with original Sims, see them starting a family and see how many generations I can have until it starts to get old or until I’m running out of ideas but I once created Stiles, Lydia, Erica and Derek in the game and the Stiles Sims immediately took a shining to the Derek Sims. It was hilarious to watch because even when I was not telling him to, he was interacting with Derek, followed him around. It was adorable. He tried to make Derek laugh^^. It ended with them falling in love and Lydia and Erica being the bridesmaids.

Aww, natural shipping, sigh. That’s the best. Let’s say you could put Thiam in a similar situation, but with characters of another show. Which would you choose? How’d you think the interaction would go?

I’d chose Shadowhunters tv series and to me, this would be hilarious and awesome at the same time. Theo and Jace would so have this little competition who’s better at basically everything; Izzy would be like an older sister to Liam but without actually treating him like a baby. She would admire his determination and will to protect those he loves, they have this in common. I imagine Liam and Jace siding when it comes to fighting because they are all like: Act first and think later but really just want to protect their family and friends. Alec would roll his eyes and ask himself what he has done to deserve this but come around in the end because is actually someone able to not like Theo and Liam?

Magnus would be totally amused by the whole thing, especially if Liam and Theo are not a thing yet but he has eyes and he can basically taste the sexual tension okay? And Luke, Liam would not stop asking Luke questions about how he leads his pack and everything because another Alpha, how cool is that??? Also Maia and Liam? Dreamteam! Both struggle with control sometimes and they so would get each other. Imagine Luke and Scott running after their Betas to save them from trouble XD. Theo and Clary, because I love the headcanon about Theo being an artist, would bond over that and probably have a tentative friendship going on.

Before we chat about your works, one more silly question. If you could build the ultimate paintball/laser tag team from any five characters AND one villain on Teen Wolf, who would they be and why?

Liam, Kira, Allison, Theo, Erica, and Kate Argent

Liam because he is very athletic and competitive.

Kira because it surely would fun to have her around and she is just an awesome badass cutie. Also, she has fast reflexes.

Allison because she has an amazing aim and also girl power!

Theo because he is like a mastermind and can come up with the best strategy.

Erica because she is my queen and she would lure the other team out so we can shoot them. She and Theo would be great at making a cunning plan.

And Kate because she is ruthless and would destroy the other team.

Perfect. I still say Theo and Allison would’ve been a sight to behold together–for better or worse. Alright, so we have wrestling, sims, shadowhunters, outfit planning. And on top of all those, writing! If your creative process was a person, what type would they be? What would they do? Wear? Listen to? How do they handle conflict?

They would be a very chaotic type, all over the place. Somebody you see and wonder how they get any work done because they seem to not be organized at all. They would be that type of person that oversleeps and then bolds into work with their bag hanging off one shoulder, their jacket almost slipping down the other shoulder, travel mug filled with coffee clutched in their grip, and clutching a notepad with lots of notes hanging out from it to their chest. They would not be the one that steps into the spotlight at all but rather satisfies with the result of their work.

Their clothing would be a mix from different styles, Boho but also athletic, sometimes chic. Everything they want to wear, they wear it.

Their taste in music is mixed. They mostly listen to Pop but they also have some rocks songs they are addicted to, some Hip Hop. Whenever they hear something with a good beat, good lyrics, that’s what they like and listen to. Their favorite band would probably be Little Mix.

Handle conflict? That’s a tough one. Hm. They would try to see it from the other’s perspective while at the same time telling themselves they should not explode and yell. They are mostly quiet but if they are peeved, they can lash out. If somebody yells at them they would shy away and close themselves off.

Does your creative process also extend to other fandoms? Pairings? Novels or stories with original characters?

I started to lay down the basics for my own original novel and I can’t wait to start. I wanted to write it for years and now I finally got the right motivation and the right mindset.

Aside from Thiam, I have written some fanfictions for Charmed since that’s one of my favorite tv shows. And I have some Stucky fanfictions started as well as the base for a Malec fanfiction that lingers in the back of my mind. But Thiam is definitively the ship that inspires me the most and I wrote the most about.

An original novel, that’s awesome! What genre are you setting it in? Also supernatural?

It is a novel playing in this day and age but it’s all about the supernatural world mixed with the normal world of the humans. Think Charmed or Shadowhunters. You have the innocent humans living without actually knowing that demon witches, vampires and such live among them. The supernatural society is still in the focus of the novel.

That sounds awesome. Would you say there’s one trope or situation that somehow always wrangles itself in your stories?

I try my best to use different tropes and situations to challenge myself as a writer but one thing that happens for sure is character A watching character B and marveling around how gorgeous they look and how stunning they are. Just some good old-fashioned swooning. I just like to imagine one person being so completely enamored by another person that they have to stop and stare for a while because they sight is breathtaking. And the other person is either completely oblivious and continues with what they do, or knows exactly what they are doing, smirk at person A and preen at the attention.

And yes, friends to lovers, I’m a sucker for this.

Who isn’t really?! What’s the best friends to lovers story you’ve ever read, either fanfiction or novel? (Or one of the best, since they’re probably so many to choose from)

I guess it’s one of the greatest tropes out there haha. Puh, I read so many great stories and novels about that trope, it’s hard to tell. I remember a novel I once read (I can’t remember the title or the character names though) where this was one of the main story lines but it really took the whole novel for them to finally become a couple and yet while reading you saw their relationship growing and evolving. That’s what I always try to achieve with my stories.

I also read a Malec fanfic once where both were human but Magnus was a tattoo artist and Alec a florist. They got to know each other and it was simply perfect, Magnus helped Alec with some things and it was just adorable and awesome and amazing. Unfortunately, I can’t remember the title of this one either. I will search for it and maybe give it a shout out later when I found it again because it was really good

Oh, I’ve read that Malec fic, so good! There’s a fantastic MM novel called Switched—I think—by N.R. Walker that’s friends to lovers and I read it in one night. It’s just something about two people, who know one another in and out, coming together, more sighs.

I’d love to jump into your Thiam works. First, the Raeken Twins and your story, Finding My Way To You. Do you have any twins headcanons/imagines which helped you bring Mike Raeken to life?

I got this awesome ask one day about Theo and Mike from PPL being twins and my mind began to rattle. I thought about Theo, his personality, and began to develop someone who would be Theo’s complete opposite. Pretty Little Liars helped a lot because Mike was a sweetheart there, at least until the point where I stopped watching the show. I absolutely loved the idea of Theo having someone to take care of and protect, being a big brother.

I had a vague scene in my mind where Theo berates Mike for being too trusting and Mike just rolls his eyes and tells his big brother to relax. That was the base on where I developed the Raeken Twins. I wanted somebody who was the opposite of Theo but I didn’t want to go completely black and white and so I carved out Mike’s character more, gave him some rough edges as well.

It is fun to play around with the aspect of Theo having his counterpart who at the same time gets him to a T and has someone he always aimed to protect. He may act like he doesn’t care but it had always been my headcanon that he would do anything for Mike and Mike is that one person who knows everything about Theo and who also knows Theo does in fact care

So, if Mike Raeken was part of the Pack and the TW universe, how would he handle these few scenarios:

a: Who would be his pack allies, the pack members he’d bond with? Who would be his pack friend-enemies?

Mike, just like his brother, would become a member of the puppy pack because Mike’s a puppy too. He’d probably bond the most with Nolan and Corey because they share the most character traits with them being kind of cute and sometimes awkward. Brett would be his crush for sure. But he would also be good friends with Liam and totally root for Thiam.

Friendenemies? Good question. He’s not as harsh as Theo so he probably would not really have problems with the people around. Unless you come for his brother, then he will end you.

b: In a Supernatural crisis, how would he respond?

That clearly depends on the situation. When it comes to facing an enemy and taking them down, Mike’s a fighter and goes into the full experience. He is fast, he is agile, he is ruthless. But if it comes to protecting the people he cares about, he gets very defensive and worries more about them and bringing them to safety than taking part in the fight itself. He’s not even afraid to charge in and drag the person out of the fight (especially his brother). Mike is pretty level-headed and can stay calm even if times get rough. He checks a situation, makes his own theories about it, but he mostly stays in the background, lets the others talk and discuss, and only interferes when he feels like it’s not going anywhere. But most of the times he is fine with just watching and striking when it’s the right time.

c: One hilarious scenario you think would occur between him, Theo, and other member of the pack?

They would pull a Switch-A-Raeken so often to confuse the pack and get their laughs out of this. Liam is probably the only one who can tell them apart because he pays so close attention to them (mostly Theo though) but the others always get totally confused and the twins love to switch even during a conversation to completely confuse everyone.

One situation I find absolutely hilarious and I will write one day would involve the Sheriff, probably to introduce them as twins. One twin gets arrested, the other shows up to bail him out. Stilinski is in his office when suddenly one of the deputies knocks at the door. He calls them in and they open the door, slightly nervous. “We…uhm…have a situation here with the boy we arrested. You might want to check? He said you surely would love that.” The sheriff narrows his eyes and gets up from his chair. He walks out of his office and there they are. Two identical smirks on their faces and casually leaned against the backrest of the bench in front of his office. “Hey, Sheriff!” One of them says. Stilinski is baffled, moments pass by. He finally finds his voice again. “There are two of them? Because one Raeken wasn’t enough???” He yells, voice cracking at the end. He scratches his neck and grimaces. The twins’ smirks intensify. The deputy ducks away and hides behind the computer screen.

Rofl, I hope you do write it! Are you planning to continue Finding My Way To You too? Any spoilers you can slip us?

I am definitely planning to but I have more prominent ideas for A tale written with fangs and claws and other stories at the moment. I do have written some part of the next chapter still. I love this story and the feedback I received was wonderful. Raeken Twins are a fun thing to write about, so expect more to come.

For a spoiler, I will tell you we will have some drama, much love and yes also smut. There will be a slightly different take on the Dread Doctors spin because I am dissecting the storyline a bit to make it more fitting for Finding My Way To You. There will be a shift in the relationship between the twins as well. For everything else, you need to stay tuned ;D

Well, I suppose we must now haha. Until then, we have all of a Tale of Fangs and Claws to keep ourselves busy. Speaking of….a Tale of Fangs and Claws Time!! (I held out for this long; I’m proud of myself.) For anyone unfamiliar, could you give us a quick synopsis? What inspired the idea?

Whooo!! The story is about Liam becoming an Alpha when he least expects it. He and Theo are living in Seattle, are roommates in college, and totally in love with each other but they both feel the other might not return their feelings in the beginning. Theo still joins Liam’s pack and together they return to Seattle. The story follows Liam’s journey in his new role, especially when other werewolves appear and Liam and Theo soon have a pack of their own to take care of. They become a family, face many battles and they all learn more about each other and their strengths and weaknesses, help to find their place in the world.

My inspiration for this came from the sole wish to see Liam as Alpha. I think he would be a great Alpha and would have loved to see it happen at the end of the show as some kind of next-generation thing with the older pack members leaving Beacon Hills and him taking over from Scott. The more I thought about this, the bigger the need for Alpha!Liam became and I started to imagine his pack, created their characters a little bit and searched for faceclaims. It took me a while until I finally started to write the story; until I had a decent enough base to actually imagine turning this into a multi-chapter fic and upload it. Add me playing around with my basic photoshop program and create some Liam as Alpha manips and the inspiration was there. It came to the point where I could no longer hold back and thus I uploaded the prologue. I never imagined the success it would have and I am still amazed by this.

Wow, and it’s almost 300,000 words long! First, huge congrats on being the longest Thiam fic thus far! Is this the longest story you’ve ever written? Did you originally plan all the chapters or has it reshaped itself? Would you say you have a secret to writing longer fics while also keeping your personal interest high?

It’s crazy! Thank you so much!! I have to say I never expected this to turn out so huge, I still can’t believe it. Every time I check the chapter numbers, it still feels so unreal. When I started, I had no idea how long this would be. I had basic elements and certain points I wanted to have happen but everything else was non-existent in the beginning. It still is nowadays because that’s how I write. I don’t have everything planned out and so my own story keeps surprising me but I love this. I’m writing a chapter and some things are coming to my mind while I’m writing and I take a break to consider, bring this in a vague timeline, and then continue writing.

I admire people whohave every little detail plannedout but I’m so not like this and I had it happen to me that I wrote a chapter completely different than I intended to. Because my thoughts didn’t work as good as the thing I had been actually writing, if that makes sense. Sure, I have some scenes I have in mind for a long time and while I have not every word planned out, I have a pretty solid image of the scenes. Theo’s development for example. I knew how I want to have the big moments to happen and I am even more excited than usual when it is time to write it.

The story is indeed the longest I have ever written until now. Who knows what the future has in store? :D

I wouldn’t exactly call it a secret. Thiam itself inspires me so much and receiving so much feedback from so many people is also a very good source of motivation, not gonna lie. This story, the reactions I got from people, has made me feel better about my talent as a writer and that fueled my passion. I associate so many great things with this story and I got attached to every single character that writing a new chapter feels like coming home. I see them as part of my family, my babies if you want, and I am curious to see how they develop further. That’s what keeps me inspired to make this story longer and longer. I’d say the secret, in general, is creating something you truly love, no matter how cliche this sounds. Create this word that is truly you that brings yourself joy and I’m sure you won’t lose interest.

Yes, I so agree! When I was writing my main Stacksonstory, I fell so in love with the characters and the progress of the story! And then to be able to talk about them with so many people, it definitely kept the thoughts coming, even long after I finished it!

Exactly what happened to me with A tale written with fangs and claws! It is wonderful to have such great response and it’s a great source of motivation. I get so many ideas for this story just by reading comments or talking with people. That’s the beauty of fanfiction I think.

Most definitely! Would you then say any of your original characters are based on people you know personally?

Actually no. I was more inspired by fictional characters, took some things from them, and created my own individual character. If there are any resemblances I haven’t noticed them yet but hey, maybe I will someday^^

Maybe, who knows what might happen. Not us, certainly. Thinking forward, is there one thing you’re dying to add in the story but you have to write a few more chapter before it comes up?

Liam’s and Theo’s wedding! I am dying to write this since a few chapters and everyone who read the last chapter knows I’m toying around with this thing a bit but I really, really can’t wait to write their wedding. It will happen one day and I am excited about it but it will take some more (a lot more) chapters until we can get there.

Yessssss, we’ll be patiently waiting until then! Before we wind down, I’d love to give you a time to impart some wisdom onto us. Any life hacks or creative wisdom on your mind lately?

It is important to figure out what works best for you and never let anybody butt in, writing-wise and in life too. I had to learn this myself but there will be people telling you how you should do a certain thing and then you need to figure out if this is really the best for you. I’m not saying you should not take advice, you definitely should, but it is okay to change this advice, maybe combine it with the advice you got from someone else and create your own special way to get things done. There might be people who are very critical of how you work, how you handle things, and sometimes it can really get to you and be a bummer but it is important to remember that as long as it good for you, as long as it helps you get something done the way you want it to, it’s the right way for you. Your own opinion and your own wellbeing are more important than what some might think are the right thing for you. Your way is the right thing and great things will come from this, just stay true to yourself even when it’s hard sometimes

Also: Allow yourself to change. What was on your mind a year ago, what you wrote a year ago, doesn’t become less valid just because you changed your perspective. You are ever-changing and there will be moments where you realize that your old mindset doesn’t apply to the situation anymore, not to the person you became anymore. That’s okay. It doesn’t take anything away from the progress you made before, doesn’t take anything away from what you created back then. It simply shows your development as a writer, as a person, and that’s a fascinating progress.

Thank you so much for your honesty and depth. Aww, well, we reached the end of our time, Rena! Luckily, we’ve learned so much about you in our short time together. To end us out, what’s next for you? Any big plans?

I have several projects planned. In terms of fanfiction, I’m planning a sequel to A tale written with fangs and claws if I finish the story, I’m planning on continuing my Mated series, Finding My Way To You will be continued as well, and there are several other fanfictions on the line. I’m also planning on finally writing my first original novel, something I’m very excited about. Those are the things I have planned, who knows what else is gonna happen? Life is full of surprises.

Good luck with your novel! And all the other bundles of surprises and happiness that are whirling your way. Is there anything else you’d like to share? The mic’s in your hands.

It’s okay to struggle. I sometimes feel like the standards expect everyone to be perfect at anything they do and it can be really frustrating when you feel like you’re not reaching these standards. You feel like a failure and it’s a horrible thing to feel. I had so many moments where I felt like I would never reach the standard for that thing to be considered good or even great and it took me a long time to learn not to always compare myself to others and be proud of who I am, my talents, what I create. I still feel like I’m not good enough sometimes but every time I struggle, I learn new things about myself and that’s what made me realize it is okay to struggle. You learn next to nothing when you don’t struggle and ease everything perfectly on the first try.

Sure, it’s great to have a lift first time you do something, it’s even important to be a natural in some things, but I also know that struggling causes doubts and insecurities because you feel like anybody else doesn’t seem to struggle at all. What I’m trying to say is embrace your struggles as part of your development process on becoming the best version of yourself that you can be. And remember: Nobody has the same story to tell as you. The world needs to hear yours, don’t let the doubts take this away from you. It’s a long and difficult way to go but it’s worth it in the end.

Thanks so much Rena! It was a freaking blast getting to know you and your life, inspirations, and quirky interests haha!

Thankfully, the conversation doesn’t have to end here. To chat with her about her works, Thiam, Teen Wolf, even Wrestling, you can find Rena at these three places:

AO3: Former_Princess

Tumblr: formerprincess

Ask Box: formerprincessask

In her words, “It’s more than okay! I love getting asks, messages. I’d even love to get a carrier pigeon. I am a shy noodle myself but I absolutely love to interact with people and have them interact with me. Ask as many questions as you want, send in as many things as you want, you will never bother me and in fact make me very happy. Also - on a non fandom related note - myaskbox is always open for anybody who needs somebody to listen to them.”

She’s also currently accepting prompts, though it might take her a while to get to them–you know busy lives and what not. So, feel free to “send in things, share your thoughts, headcanons, and everything else,” with her. (Also, her words!)

Thanks so much for reading. We will see you next week as we get to know about fandomtrashwhore, aka Marie, our resident Thiam Social Media expert. Until then!

Have a Thiam Creator you fan over? Send us their names. Likewise, if you as the creator, would like to be a part of the Behind the Screens series, give us a shout too! We’d love to get to know you, as well.

#officialthiamlibrary #behind the screens #thiam #teen wolf #formerprincess #mod: minna

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