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megaawkwardhuman · 10 months

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a bit ago I saw a post on here that said something along the lines of "there was only one bed trope but at a clown motel" and that night I decided to write the beginning of a nandermo fic with that concept

days go by and last night for whatever reason I made it my goal to drag this thing from wip hell and finish it and so here it is!

it's a post season 3 fic where we're in the good timeline™ (guillermo and nandor went on their trip) and for whatever reason they end up well at a clown motel and we learn two things

1 guillermo really doesn't like clowns

2 even in the good timeline™ the world still fucks with memo

small disclaimer: I'm really dyslexic and by no means good at this. like last time I'm clinging onto grammarly for dear life and tried my best to edit this so that it at least makes a crumb of sense

anyway here is (and yes I'm really proud of this title)

the one ring circus

“No, we’re NOT staying here” Guillermo crossed his arms staring the vampire next to him dead in the eyes.

“Come on Guillermo look at all of the clowns!” they have been on their trip now for a while. If you had to ask Guillermo at the beginning of the trip where he expected to go and what he expected to see he wouldn’t have said a clown motel. He would have said ANYTHING ELSE other than a creepy ass clown motel.

“Nope, they're freaking me out. I REFUSE to stay here.”

“Oh come on this place isn't creepy.”

“Isn’t creepy? There’s a fucking cemetery next to it.” Guillermo has nothing personally against clowns. But there was something about the clown signs in front of the motel that creep him the fuck out with their huge smiles and soulless eyes. “Yeah sure the house back in Staten Island might as well be a cemetery but at least there weren’t creepy ass clowns.”

“It’s only one night.” while Guillermo would like to refuse further dawn was approaching soon, a storm was rolling in, and by the looks of it Nandor for once was living up to his name and was not going to relent anytime soon.

He sighed “Fine but only ONE night. But as soon as the sun sets we’re getting out of here.”

As they walked over to get a room Guillermo couldn’t help but notice a small grin on Nandor’s face. Was he actually excited to stay a night here? Did he like clowns? Is that why he wanted to stay here? Wait has Nandor even seen a clown before? All of these questions bounced around his head.

As they entered the office to get a room Guillermo looked around. As to be expected there were clowns everywhere. If he didn’t have a fear of clowns before the thousands of clowns both statues and paintings staring at him now might have put that fear into him.

All of the painted eyes staring into him, the bright colors of their clothes weren't doing wonders for his eyes, the smiles forced upon their faces mocked him, and the few that weren't smiling were sobbing which didn't help the overall creepy vibe. it felt like all of the attention in that room was directed at him. Like every clown in that room was mocking him.

He knew he couldn’t spend another second in there so he asked Nandor to get them a room as he speed walked outside.

As he walked out eyes tightly shut he tried to think about anything but the ridiculous motel he was about to spend a day of his life in. So he pulled out his phone, popped in his earbuds, put on some music, and thought about something that he knows will brighten his mood: how this trip will end. The moment he’s been waiting for grows closer every night. A moment that would be more pleasant than staying at a possibly haunted clown motel.

His attention was immediately snapped back when Nandor popped out and said something he REALLY didn’t want to hear.

“Is it alright if the room has only one bed?” Guillermo jumped a little as he zoned back in.

he paused his music and pulled out an earbud. “I'm sorry what?”

Nandor sighed “I said is it ok if there's only one bed?”

“What why?”

“Uh well, the only room available only has one bed.”

Guillermo wondered what he did to deserve this. Well, he wanted to know the SPECIFIC thing he did to deserve this. He thought about all his options or rather his lack of options. “That's fine.” Once Nandor popped back inside Guillermo knew he’d probably come up with something.

However, by the time they actually got to their room, he had zero plans. He WOULD have come up with something if it didn’t dawn on him what he would most likely have to do: share a bed with Nandor.

Now Guillermo didn’t hate the idea of being close to Nandor. In fact, that was the problem he knew he’d enjoy sharing a bed with him. He knew he’d enjoy it a little too much. He was afraid that he’d make a wrong move, getting a little too close, or worst of all Nandor getting too close. He knew it’ll be really hard to sleep with a hot vampire next to him. So once that thought entered his head it absorbed any plan he had.

Add in the clown art in the room and Guillermo has a gut feeling he won’t be getting much sleep.

“Great more clowns…” he said looking around the room like he wasn’t sleeping at a clown themed motel.

“What’s so wrong with the clowns?”

“I don’t know they look so creepy. Doesn’t help that some are staring right at the bed.”

“But they’re so happy!”

“Yeah happy they will probably be the reason I won’t get any sleep.” in a bit of a huff he went over to his bag.

Knowing the sun was going to rise soon and to distract from clowns around him Guillermo made quick work to sunproof the room by putting up some blackout curtains they bought and taping them down. Then he grabbed his pajamas and headed to the bathroom to take a shower and change.

When leaving the bathroom Guillermo noticed every clown painting was either gone or covered up. Well, all but one mural but that was cause it was painted directly on a wall to the left of the bed. Without the clowns, you wouldn't have guessed this was a clown motel. you'd think that it was just a normal motel room with just a weird ass clown portrait on one of the walls.

Confused but relieved he looked at Nandor who was reading a book. “Did you do this?”

“You said they would keep you up and a bodyguard needs his rest.” Nandor didn’t look up from his book.

Guillermo was still getting a bit used to this softer Nandor. I mean he can still be a dick from time to time but ever since they boarded that first train he’s been kinder to him. “Wow… thanks. Speaking of sleep what are we going to do about the whole bed situation?”

“Well since there is no place for me to spread out my ancestral soil and I know how you humans value your beds I was thinking we would just simply share the bed.” He said face buried in his book.

Guillermo was a bit taken aback by how casually Nandor suggested it. “Are you sure? I'm fine sleeping in the car or the bathtub.”

“oh don't worry I used to sleep with soldiers all of the time back in Al Quolanudar. Also what if a vampire killer came in here and tried to kill me? I need you to protect me at all times”

Guillermo tried his best to ignore how wrong that first part sounded. “Why would a vampire killer come looking for vampires at a clown motel?”

Nandor shuffled a little in his seat and turned a page in his book. A book Guillermo just now realized was upside down. ”well us vampires really like our clowns.“ Nandor said being reminded that he can't lie on the spot for shit.

Instead of pointing out how that's very clearly not a thing Guillermo silently accepted his fate.

so once he double checked that everything was covered he lay down on the bed.

He didn't know how much time had passed. all he knew was that it must have been midday and the storm outside was kinda soothing. but what wasn't soothing was the fact that somehow while sleeping Guillermo ended up face to face with the one clown painting Nandor couldn't cover. He jumped a little.

the clown was pointing directly at him laughing with the biggest stupidest grin on their face. He wanted to turn around but due to the sleeping body right next to him, he wasn’t quite sure if he could.

He lay there staring at the clown for god knows how long until a shift next to him made him realize Nandor was now on his side. which hopefully means he can shift without disturbing him.

as quickly as he could Guillermo rolled over to be greeted face to face with another more familiar clown's face.

add in the perfectly timed thunder clap and Guillermo jumped out of the bed letting out a small yelp.

Guillermo not really thinking instead of going back to bed or getting up and doing anything else memo chose the secret third option: sleep somewhere else. So he grabbed a pillow and a cape that was lying on the ground and bolted for the bathtub.

Whatever attempt Guillermo made to not wake up Nandor was in vain since the thud of him falling to the floor, grabbing a pillow five inches away from Nandor's face, and him running to the bathroom woke Nandor up.

half asleep Nandor followed the sounds of a clearly not ok Guillermo.

what greeted him when he opened the door was Guillermo curled up in the bathtub pillow behind his head wrapped in one of his capes trying to make some sort of attempt at sleeping.

“Guillermo, are you alright?” Nandor grumbled.

Guillermo would like to give him a proper response but at this point, any attempts to get any words out of his mouth would be in vain since he’s still a little freaked out. He didn't know it but he was shaking a bit.

Nandor saw how freaked out Guillermo is and with his two brain cells put together that the clown painting was probably to blame. Not being awake enough to yell at him for stealing his cape he left the room.

Guillermo thought Nandor must have gone back to sleep but was confused when he came back with a pillow, a blanket, and with the backpack he kept some of his ancestral soil in strapped to his back.

Silently he made his way over to Guillermo and took the cape that was wrapped around him and tossed it aside. ”scoot over.“ Guillermo did as he was told and Nandor awkwardly made his way into the tub.

after some maneuvering, Guillermo ended up on top of Nandor in this kinda big but bearly able to fit them bathtub.

Nandoer laid out the blanket over the two of them and placed one pillow behind his backpack and one behind his head. ”I guess we're sleeping here.“

Guillermo didn't know how to really react to all of this. all he could do is muster out a small ”sorry...“

”It's fine. this is a lot more comfortable here. it's a lot like sleeping in a coffin.“ he wrapped one of his arms around Guillermo.

Guillermo wanting to go back to sleep at this point just hid his face in the nook of Nandor's neck as he fell back asleep mumbling about stupid clowns.

the sober realization as to what had just happened hit the both of them as soon as they woke up. It hit Guillermo the hardest since he woke up with Nandor’s tits in his face. So he got out of the tub as quickly as he could and checked that it was safe for Nandor to leave the bathroom.

after Guillermo made sure it was night he went back in and helped Nandor out of the tub. They both made their way into the main room to pack up and make the room look less chaotic.

”Thanks for last night. I genuinely didn't expect you to do that.“ Guillermo said while taking down the curtains.

”you were running around the room like a spooked horse,” Nandor was putting one of the pillows back on the bed “I wanted to make sure you weren’t being attacked or something.“ he turned around to go grab the cape Guillermo tried to use as a blanket almost bumping into Guillermo.

”well that was really nice of you. but you didn't have to sleep in the tub with me. you looked really cramped“

Nandor looked down and fidgeted with his rings. ”I needed to make sure you were going to be alright all night. You're going to need a good amount of sleep if you're going to protect me.“ once he was done talking he quickly walked back into the bathroom.

Guillermo wonders who is this man and what did he do to Nandor.

Once they had everything packed they got the fuck out of there.

”so are you two looking for a room with two beds or?“ the lady at the front desk asked. Guillermo really gave him too much power.

Nandor thought about it. ”no just one is fine. But let me check with my partner”

#what we do in the shadows #wwdits #guillermo de la cruz #nandor the relentless #nandermo #wwdits fanfic #there was only one bed #gather around and lend me your time #guillermo has a fear of clowns that only gets worst as the fic goes on #guillermo's final evolution: scared dog on the fourth of july #I just really want these bitches to hold each other is that too much to ask?#two bros chilling in a bathtub #no inches apart cuz they're too tired to repress their feelings #I'm writting this tag in hopes it will hype me up to post this OINHEQBIVWRBEUO

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wizardfvcker · 2 years

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living with flatmates is just about realizing how fucking abysmal people are at cleaning

#.txt #like bestie you have to scrub the fucking bottom of the sink cant you see how its literally COMPLETELY black?????#YOU HAVE TO WASH THE DRYING RACK REGULARLY OR IT GROWS MOLDDDD BRO AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES IT #U NEED TO SCRUB THE BATHTUB!!!!#good lord.#not that i am like perfect at cleaning. like i half ass things sometimes and sometimes i dont sweep my room for three weeks #but the communal spaceS??? bro #sorry i just spent an hour and a half cleaning. feeling insane #YOU ALSO HAVE TO BLEACH THE RAG WE USE TO DRY STUFF!!!!! IT GETS NASTY BRO

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scatmaan · 11 months

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i can never live in a city bc city ppl annoy me sm the redneck in me seethes

#scatmaan complains #ppl who overreact to nonvenomous snakes #or fucking wolf spiders #like go outside bro #go crawl around in some wetlands and adjust yourself #unless smthn is actually dangerous maybe just calm down huh #i still live in bumfuck nowhere but i need to go back to the woods #i miss when it rained #and id somehow end up with earthworms in my kitchen #and snakes in my bathtub #and id always have at least one mature wolf spider #hanging out above my doorways #:(#i miss all the wild turkey vultures #theyd hop around real high up in the trees above my house #i do not miss the mice tho #lost count of how many of those bastards i had to kill

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solitude4chiron · 10 months

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Hobie Headcannons cs some of y’all be treating this man like he’s some white goth nga that’s never had black experiences 😭😭 these are js off the top of my head so don’t tweak out… JUH VIBE

He’s most likely Jamaican/British or African/British because he’s from the UK

He has had multiple people try to force him into playing basketball at least once because he’s 6’5

“Man, so you telling me you ain’t never tried going D1?”

“Never even played.”

“NIGGA WHAT?”

Has gotten his hand popped multiple times from touching his hair while getting it done

“How many do you have left?”

“Boy move that damn hand.”

Gives horrible advice then says “but I don’t kno, thats just me”

“She cheated on me bru. Like cheated. Called me ON FACETIME while they was hunchin.”

“Me personally I would find the guy and start a gas leak in their house while his family is sleeping. But ion kno, that’s just me tho.”

Played soccer as a kid with a makeshift paper soccer ball

Was one of those kids who were forced to finish their plate before leaving the dinner table so he would sit at the table till the next day playing with his food

Illegally listens to and downloads most of the music he likes

“Wanna do a Spotify blend?”

“Y’all use that shi?”

“who df are you bro…”

Will side eye you till you burst out laughing if you both see something crazy in public

Sung chi-chi man religiously as a child before he knew what the song meant (iykyk)

Takes pictures of white people with braids or locs

Hobie: Attachment: 1

disgusting creatures…

Hangs trash bags on his doorknobs around the house

Had entire debates as a child with older people at the cookout on why he should be able to eat ribs instead of hotdogs

“These steaks for the adults, go grab a lil hotdog and a juice.”

“But why? Can’t we both eat and enjoy the same things without you having to dehumanize me and view me only as a child without preferences for food?”

“Boy go get that fuckin hotdog and caprisun get out my face.”

Had his hairline pushed back astronomically far when he was little (Nigerian boy canon event)

On the other hand he probably never had his hair cut as a kid and started free-forming when he was young (I’m conflicted between both)

Constantly had a smart mouth as a kid (he still does), like CONSTANTLY. Once he got his lips snatched and balled into a fist

Would steal, get caught and say is “it cause I’m black?”

“Yo, were you stealing back there?”

“Why bruv? Cause I’m black?”

“Nevermind.”

Touches hot ass food with his bare hands. Like he will flip pancakes with his hands.

Can literally sleep anywhere.. like anywhere. People in his band have pictures of him hunched over on sinks, sleeping on bathroom floors, in bathtubs with the curtains wrapped around him, on the bus. Anywhere you can think of.

He doesn’t spend much money on birthday gifts or gifts in general. He likes to make things by hand even if he has to spend a few weeks

After his shows he loves to meet people in the crowd, even if they freak out. He isn’t really for the idolizing so he doesn’t know how to express his emotions too much on that.

“OH MY GOD HOBIE!?!”

“i aint think i was that special but thanks luv”

• His jacket makes HELLA noise and he doesn’t realize it. Just like if he had beads in his hair.

“imma get bro good this time..”

“Hobie don’t even try to scare me, i hear that big ass jacket thumpin down the hallway.”

• The first time he kissed a girl with lip piercings like his, they got caught on each other. They sat there for almost half and hour trying to untangle each other without hurting each other.

• He’s definitely been called a few different celebrities before, none really looked like him.

“Are you playboi carti?!”

“Bruv.”

over.

“Your that rockstar dude lancey right?”

“bru…”

and over.

“you Opium?”

“I’m starting to feel this is lowkey sterotypical…”

and over again.

• When he’s in the pit at concerts he looks out for the younger people towards the front to make sure they don’t get thrashed around too hard.

“you good young’n?”

“I CANT FEEL MY FACE”

“that’s cool too”

• He only really steals from big corporations, not small family owned places. Just out of respect. Even when they say he can take things for free he still pays, maybe a few dollars over budget.

• He loves collecting trinkets and little things he finds on the streets or backstage. He has multiple spoons, buttons and scrap fabrics laying around

• When he first learned about capitalism he realized it everywhere, like EVERYWHERE. That boy was pissed.

• He loves girls who can beat him tf up, like whoop his ass. Or girls who will cuss him tf out. Sometimes you both will be arguing and he’ll just sit back and let you go off on him.

anyways yawl that’s it lmk if I should drop some more this was fun asl to make 😛

#hobie brown #atsv hobie #hobie spiderverse #hobie my beloved #hobie headcanons #headcanon #hobie x reader #spiderpunk x reader #spider punk #spiderman atsv #hobart brown #hobie brown x reader

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loveclerc · 12 days

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˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ LET ME SHOW YOU MY MAN !

pairing : charles leclerc x fem!reader

summary : netizens have been shipping you with countless actors in hopes of finding your partner. after your new film came out and the internet has done it once again, you begin soft-launching your long-term relationship, making everyone confused who the mystery person is.

genre : smau, fluff, some crack, established relationship, actress!reader

warning(s) : please imagine yn’s user is some creative portmanteau with chase atlantic

ynlntic

Liked by carlossainz55 and 1,627,820 others

ynlntic ‘charlie’s angels’ out now !! starring the lovely kristen stewart, @ ellabalinska, @ elizabethbanks and me.

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f1fan carlos in the likes?

ellabalinska Absolutely loved working with you 🤩 Keep up the good work! ♥︎ by author

mackenziefoy Snatching hearts left and right already with your debut film

ynlntic what can I say? I’m irresistible

ynfan i love her 😭

charles_leclerc Beau jeu d’acteur ♥︎ by author

15 November 2019

ynlntic

Liked by arianagrande and 7,381,249 others

ynlntic hasn’t anyone told you that normal is the cruelest insult of all? ‘cruella’ out now :) so so happy to work with the queen emma thompson on this project. thanks to my sidekicks joel fry and @ paulwhausergram too.

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zendaya It’s crazy how you can act such a cruel person when you’re so lovely in real life

ynlntic you’re too kind

chaseatlantic ❤️

ynlntic hi (I’m shaking my heart belongs to you)

fernandoalo_oficial Bravo! 🎉 ♥︎ by author

paulwesley Are you perhaps interested in becoming a vampire?

ynlntic let me think about it … yes

reneerapp dm me pls

paulwhausergram She’s a homicidal maniac and you’re not!

ynlntic well, we don’t know that. I’m still young.

user is this referring to the dry thanks in the last sentence ♥︎ by author

28 May 2021

ynlntic

Liked by simuliu and 3,864,125 others

ynlntic I went blonde for this one. ‘saltburn’ in select theatres now. love you guys @ keoghan92 @ jacobelordi @ mspike @ richard.e.grant @ archmadekwe my precious catton family.

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archmadekwe You’ll always be on my team for tennis ❤️

ynlntic I’ll choose you any day

keoghan92 Oliver Quick Catton 🧐 ♥︎ by author

ynfan2 spoiler alert? 🫢

landonorris You’re hot

ynlntic thanks lan

f1fan2 LAN???

sydney_sweeney i’m already in love ♥︎ by author

jacobelordi You look great in blonde, sis

ynlntic and you look great in a bathtub, bro

17 November 2023

ynlntic

Liked by alex_albon and 1,820,649 others

ynlntic never going back to economy again. ‘upgraded’ out now !! from watching @ archierenaux3 and @ marisatomei on a screen to costarring in a film together 🥹 such a dream come true.

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jessie_mei_li soo excited :)

ynlntic I bagged another cast member ……

charles_leclerc I can make sure you never fly economy again

f1fan3 so much for being slick

sabrinacarpenter text me i love u ♥︎ by author

georgerussell63 Any chance you’re free before the season?

ynlntic 90% chance. would you fly me in first class?

georgerussell63 I know someone who can do that for you 😉 ♥︎ by author

f1fan4 then there’s charles’ untouched comment just above LOL

tomholland2013 Still waiting for that hangout invite.

archmadekwe Me or him

ynlntic me

9 February 2024

ynlntic

Liked by charles_leclerc and 9,912,063 others

ynlntic stuff you haven’t seen before ‘cause they’re mine

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ynfan2 SHE’S FINALLY POSTING NON-PROMOTION STUFF !!!

lailahasanovic can’t wait for more of these 💕 ♥︎ by author

ncentineo I don’t get why Langston didn’t fall for all three

ynlntic ‘cause elena didn’t want him and sabrina’s for the girls

ynfan3 at last the queen has posted a POST 😩

ynfan4 HOLD UP 🤚🏻 MISS MA’AM WHO IS THE PERSON IN THE LAST SLIDE

ynfan5 probably her boyfriend archie madekwe (i’m delusional)

archmadekwe 🤭

11 February 2024

ynlntic

Liked by amitasuman_ and 8,036,283 others

ynlntic special day today

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jaehyunfan ARIANA (JAEHYUN) WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ???

user2 wait she was just brunette a while ago

ynlntic wig

ynfan6 EXCUSE ME SALTBURN WAS A WIG??? ♥︎ by author

_jeongjaehyun thanks for the cake ♥︎ by author

ynfan7 she listens to laufey 🥹

f1fan5 the heart with the c in the middle?

reneerapp what is that BOOK you are reading

ynlntic 🤫🧏🏻‍♀️

ynfan8 she’s taken guys we lost her … 😞

14 February 2024

ynlntic

Liked by oscarpiastri and 4,957,988 others

ynlntic I was told we were to play mario kart

View all 23,724 comments

landonorris You can be the next Jann Mardenborough

ynlntic sign me up for formula banana peels 🙋🏻‍♀️

f1fan6 hold awn @ charles_leclerc went karting today too

joris__trouche Tu étais formidable! Ne laissez personne vous dire le contraire (@ andferrari007 😒)

ynlntic merci joris ! ♡

f1fan7 this literally confirms it.

ynfan9 girlie your fans are going crazy 😭🙏🏻 save us from this torture and tell us who this man is PLZZZZ

ynfan10 i’m so scared for her and her partner, whoever they are …

ynfan11 this series of soft-launching and posting trivial things about her life is so precious to me

ynfan12 fr! i feel like a proud mother watching her child grow up 🥹

20 February 2024

keep a lookout for part two ৻( •̀ ᗜ •́ ৻)

reblogs and feedback are appreciated !

#charles leclerc smau #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x you #f1 smau #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 imagines #f1 x you #f1 fanfic #f1 fic #formula 1 x reader #🧸

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pizzapottah · 3 months

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runaway

summary: you and james grew up together, being best friends since childhood, but after you get sorted into slytherin in your first year at hogwarts, it was only a matter of time until it all crumbled down.

pairing: james potter x slytherin!slughorn!reader (no use of y/n)

word count: 3.6k

warnings: like two swear words, sirius and regulus' feud (they're both menaces), kinda mean james, sirius' a dick too, THEY'RE ALL DICKS BUT REMUS YOUR HONOR, a bit angsty

author's note: inspired by runaway by kanye west (don't worry, there'll be homecoming too). slughorn as granpa is going to have a bigger role on the second part i swear (i love granpas and he woud be so sweet) i swear the timeline piece for young love is coming. i don't know when but i'm trying ;-;

runaway | homecoming

To Sirius, it looked a bit obvious that you and James had somewhat of a history.

They were just in their second year, and as soon as “BLACK, REGULUS” is called and gets put to Slytherin, he turns to his friend, about to start a bashing on his brother's House. “What did I tell you? Of course he would be put there. A little snake, he is, tried to drown me in the bathtub when he was five, Merlin knows what he will be capable of now…”

But as another name gets called to the Hat, James looks like he isn't listening. And as Sirius goes on, stubborn, the boy puts a hand on his mouth. “Shush, I wanna hear.”

Well, that's surely something new. Prongs wanting to listen? That has to be the news of the decade. So Sirius tries to hold back his wounded ego and looks at the chair where the students sit, one by one, to be sorted. There's a girl sitting on it, and as the Hat takes a moment to debate with himself for where to put her, James looks at the girl like she holds on her shoulders the sky and the stars.

Sirius doesn't really understand - right now he just thinks that yes, she’s pretty, but not that pretty to break his neck just to look at her. (In a few years time, he’ll realise that it’s not because she’s not that pretty. It’s just because he doesn’t really like girls - and maybe, just maybe, at that time he had an itty bitty crush on his friend, but was too young and oblivious to know.)

James stares dreamily at the girl. “She's the daughter of my neighbours - the girl I grew up with, remember? I told you about her.”

No, Sirius actually doesn’t remember her, but he stares at her and the Hat, waiting for the sorting. “Why is it taking so long? It never takes that long.” At this point he’s just trying to go on like nothing happened, like James didn’t just shut him up to stare at a girl - what happened to the bro code?

“The Hat’s probably settling between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor,” his friend tells him. “To Gryffindor because, well, I'm here, but also to Ravenclaw because she’s so smart- oh, Sirius, when she gets put here, you’ll have to move- could you give your seat to her?”

Sirius stares at him with his mouth open. In front of them, Peter and Remus assume the same horrified face of their friend - James Potter asking Sirius Black to give up his seat beside him? They’re not even sure if they ever saw them sitting apart. The latter seems horrified at the thought of his best friend asking him to move.

And before Sirius can start shouting mouthfuls of insults that a twelve year old surely shouldn’t know, the Hat declares his sentence. “SLYTHERIN!”

A sudden relief fills Sirius. Oh, thank Merlin. James, unlike him, looks outraged and is probably about to have an aneurysm. “WHAT?” he shouts, his protests unheard as the Slytherins claps fill the room as you go sit at their table. “I demand another sorting! The Hat’s broken!”

Professor McGonagall takes no more than a few seconds to shut him up, opting to use magic instead of discussing with a twelve year old with a too-big ego, and James has to sit still, almost chained to the table, for the whole evening, not muttering a single word. Sirius looks at him smugly, silently thinking that he deserves that for even thinking about putting a girl before him, as he glares at her and his brother quietly chatting on the green and silver table.

You don’t exactly remember when you and James Potter actually became friends.

You know your dads went to school together, his in Gryffindor and yours in Slytherin, and your family's cottage and the Potter's farmhouse being only a flower field away, for most of your childhood you were each other’s only friend. But as you grew up and he went to Hogwarts, merely a year before you, you two drifted apart.

It wasn’t anyone’s fault, really. James was a year older than you, already growing faster, and probably needed more friends than just you - not that he had difficulties at that. He was an enthusiast, and put his heart in everything he ever did. During the summer he told you about his new friends - and the strange nicknames they’d given each other - and expressed his excitement over you meeting them.

It all went downhill when you got sorted to Slytherin.

For you, or your family, it wasn’t a big deal. Slytherin is a Hogwarts House as much as any of the others, and many of your family members are Slytherins. But as for you it’s not a problem, James surely doesn’t think of it like you do, and makes no effort to hide it from you.

(In the first weeks of school, a rumour that he had tried to protest to professor McGonagall and even Dumbledore about your sorting spread around. You just hope it was a bad joke.)

More times than you’d like to admit he has complained about your friends, saying that you should just stick to staying around him and his friends.

“Yeah, and then what?" You’d say, getting angry. “Spend six hours of lessons alone, not talking to anyone? Spending all my time at the dormitories by staying silent? If you found some friends, why can’t I? You’re not my mother, you can't tell me what to do!”

“It's because they’re bad for you!”

“Oh, so you mean to tell me that Regulus is worse than Sirius?” you’re not sure if he has seen the way Sirius treats you - like a rival, a nuisance that he has to endure until he manages to get rid of it. Just yesterday, when you were by the Black Lake, he made you trip by the river and almost fall in the water. When you confronted him about it, he shrugged it off, blaming your bad balance. James did nothing about it - not that it is his place to discipline his friend, but if he tries to scare off all your friends just to make you stay with his, assuring himself that he treats you decently is the least he could do.

It’s no secret that you and Sirius don’t get along, and as now he’s apparently James' best friend, it’s a problem. Sirius despises you because you’re friends with his brother - who, by the way, never speaks ill of him - and you despise him for the way he treats you. You wouldn’t have anything to do with him if it wasn’t for James insisting on you spending so much time with his friends.

Peter? Sure, nice guy. Remus? Your favourite. But Sirius? He��s hated you even before you even met, you’re certain. It’s like you were made for hating each other.

But at this time, it’s still just the first year. You and James are both just kids who love each other very much, and surely none of you is ready to give up on the other. Somehow you compromise - you stay with your friends, James stays with his, and you try to avoid the Marauders, especially when you're with Regulus. Him, in fact, is even angrier about the whole situation than you.

“I can't believe it,” he said, once. “He's bashing you for befriending me and a couple of other Slytherins? Sirius goes around the school saying I'm not his brother and that our parents found me in a dumpster. I think it’s him who should revise his priorities.”

Sure, your friends and his friends hate each other, but for your first year at Hogwarts, the friendship with James somehow remains intact. So by the time summer break comes, it’s like you never argued at school and never grew up from the kids you used to be, spending all your time in the field between your houses and constantly having sleepovers.

It all comes crashing down in your second year.

You befriend Severus Snape, a guy in James’ year, while the latter falls head over heels for Lily Evans. The arguments get more heated and frequent, you both just getting mad at each other over nothing, and it’s like all the time you spent together in the damn field is forgotten.

“Why him, but not my friends?” is a frequent question he asks, worried about you, since Severus wasn’t one of the people he wanted to be around you.

“Well, go ask Sirius, James!” you would always reply, getting meaner every time this question was asked. Now, basically every time you see each other, you argue, him too proud to admit his wrongs, you too stubborn to give in.

And, one day, you’ve simply had enough. There’s no energy left in you, and it’s like you’re the only one caring about your friendship, fighting for it. So, since the only times you and James interact it’s for arguing, you start ignoring him. You ignore him when he tries to talk to you during breaks, you ignore him when he greets you in the hallway between classes, you ignore him when he tries to start an argument again.

Soon, the only signs of recognition he gets are from your friends, who send him dirty looks every time they see him.

James honestly feels even more enraged than before, sure that it’s them who are conditioning you - especially Severus, who never liked him or any of the Marauders, always staring at him up and down like they were superior to him.

“I think Snivellus’ putting strange ideas in her head,” James announces to the other Marauders one evening, while they’re all huddled in their room. Sirius huffs dramatically as Remus sighs, while Peter just frowns.

“You have to let her go,” Sirius insists, never having liked you. You’ve never actually done him any wrong, but your House and the fact that you’re dangerously close to James are enough for him. “If she’s ignoring you, that’s her loss, ‘innit? She loses the only good friend she has. Once my brother and the other Slytherins get bored of her, she’ll be alone and will come crawling back.”

Remus and Peter stare at him with their mouths open. “Sirius, that’s horrible,” Lupin says, shocked. He turns to James, not understanding all of this drama, “Why can’t you just accept that she’s made new friends aside from you? Can’t you just be happy for her? Is it that hard?”

James crosses his arms. Right now, he looks like a spoiled kid who’s used to having everyone at his mercy. “I can’t be happy for her knowing what horrible people she is friends with,” he grumbles. Sirius nods, agreeing. “Just leave her alone and give her time to understand her mistake. And once she does, it’ll be too late.”

So he did, leave you alone. Stopped saying hi to you, hoping that like Sirius predicted, you’d come back - except it could never be too late for you. James is sure he’d welcome you back a thousand times, if necessary, even if Sirius is sure that you should learn your lesson by him never talking to you again.

A week passes, then two, then a month’s passed and you only seem happier, always surrounded by a big group of friends, who now consist of some Ravenclaws, too. They stop glaring at him, finally, but Regulus doesn’t look like he’s going to stab you in your back at any given moment. You two look closer, even.

And when the summer break finally arrives, James thinks that maybe, now that your friends aren’t there to condition you, everything will go back to normal - it already happened last year, no?

Well, nothing goes back to normal.

You don’t show up at the Potter's saturday barbecue - your parents do, though, and say that you simply didn’t feel like coming. James is more than confused - you used to love coming to their barbecues. His confusion only strengthens when later that week he goes to your house to ask you if you want to come with him to take a swim by the lake, and he gets greeted by your apologetic mother, who simply tells him that you are at a friends’ house.

Defeated, James goes back home, immediately writing a letter to Remus for advice - he’s learned not to name you in front of Sirius - and then slumps in bed, convinced that you’ve started to hate him.

It's monday. On mondays you always go to the lake together. Never missed a day since now.

But James doesn’t surrender. He isn’t ready to give up on this friendship yet.

He goes to your house the next day - tuesday, usually you play Quidditch. Your mother probably pities him, at this point. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, she’s still at her friend’s house. Her name’s Pandora - a sweet girl from Ravenclaw, you surely know her. She's coming back next week, and the girl will stay with us for a while, too. Hasn’t my daughter told you about it? She probably just forgot.’’

James has actually never heard of this Pandora girl before, even if the name does sound familiar. He's hurt by the fact that you didn’t tell him you’d go away, even if it was for a week, but Remus’ reply to his letter is quick to snap him back to his senses.

Dear Prongs,

Please, stop thinking that the poor girl is your property. Let her live her life. You don’t have to do everything together and she doesn’t owe you anything. Besides, I'd like to remind you that during the last months at school you two stopped arguing just because she started ignoring you, and you complied, instead of finding a sane solution. She was probably too exhausted to keep fighting with you, and thought that maybe not starting a conversation would be best. If you didn’t like that, you could’ve simply told her.

In hope that you come to your senses,

Moony.

James' newly return to his senses doesn’t last long, though, as apparently, Remus told what happened to Sirius, too.

Dear Prongs,

Let her stew in her own juice. You’ll do just fine without her. You still have me, Remus and Peter. Plus, it’s not that big of a loss. In your position, I would never talk to her again.

Please listen to me,

Padfoot.

James is torn. Why are his friends like this?

He ends up going to your house again, but this time he's sure that you're home and can't avoid talking to him. It's tuesday again, Quidditch again, so he brings his broom and all the equipment you'll need, in hope that you’ll just become friends again without a big fuss. It always was like that - in the past years, the ones before Hogwarts, you two rarely argued, and everything was forgiven without even saying sorry, not even the day after. A kiss on the cheek, two cookies and back to being friends like nothing ever happened.

(James hasn’t brought the entire jar of cookies that his mother just made. No, no, absolutely not. He would never try to bribe you like that, who do you take him for?)

Your father opens the door and forces himself to smile at the sight of Iames. It's kinda hard when he knows the kid has insulted the House he was in for almost two whole years now. “James,” he greets, rather formally than usual. “Good morning. How can I help you?” it is strange talking to a boy he’s seen grow up like this, but he can’t help the awkwardness, especially knowing how James made you feel.

“Is she home?” James doesn’t have to specify who, since he’s always come here for you.

“Well-”

Before your father can articulate an actual sentence, a familiar voice comes from the hallway, “Who’s at the door, son?”

Your father shifts so that professor Slughorn can see James, clad in Quidditch uniform, looking smaller than he’s ever been. “Oh, it’s you, Potter! What a nice surprise! Why don’t you enter?” not sparing a look at your dad, who’s staring disappointedly at his own father, he welcomes the boy in. “I see you brought cookies! Is your dad home, perhaps? We’re making potions here, thought that maybe he would like to join…”

In the living room there’s five people seated on the carpet: you, who James recognises immediately, Lily Evans - his heart skips a beat just by seeing her -, the girl who he barely recognises as Pandora and, to his absolute horror, Regulus Black and bloody Snivellus. You’re all seated in front of a cauldron each, and the potion inside them is the colour of an astonishing purple. You’re all laughing and chatting like nothing's wrong.

The fact that you would trade Quidditch tuesdays just to do extracurricular potion lessons with Snape makes him want to vomit. For Lily Evans? He understands, he would too, but Severus?

Once you all notice him, the room becomes silent. Professor Slughorn blinks, not understanding the sudden tension, remembering all the times you and the Potter boy would play outside in the garden with him watching over. He thought you were good friends - and you still are, right?

You huff, getting up and taking him by the wrist. “Feel free to go on without me,” you say, “I'll walk him home.”

“Hey, that’s not-”

But it’s too late, since you’ve already passed by your father who just nods in an approving manner. You get to the door, and James thinks that never, never in almost thirteen years of friendship has he been thrown out of your house like this. You two always tried to spend the most time you could with each other, and when time to go arrived, it was not easily that his parents were able to bring him home.

It's only when you’ve surpassed the porch that James is finally able to snap out of your grasp. “I don't need you to walk me home like I’m five!” he bursts. You don’t even blink, going for the flower field that sits between your houses, and he has to speed up to catch up to you. “Could you tell me what is going on?”

This time you frown, stopping. “What’s going on?” you ask in disbelief. Letting out a small laugh, you ask, louder, “What’s going on?”

James falters. “Yeah,” he breathes. “You’re not the same.”

He stares at you and for a moment, hoping it’s all a bad dream, because something tells him that this time you won’t go back to being friends thanks to some cookies and a kiss on the cheek.

Your eye twitches. “I'm not the same,” you mutter. “What nonsense are you babbling about? James, I've tried my best to keep up with you, but I don't think I can do it anymore. At Hogwarts you treat me like I'm a pet, expecting me to do what you say, and when I rightfully don’t - because mind you, I am my own person! - you get mad at me saying I'm stupid!”

You start walking towards the Potter's house again, letting out a frustrated groan. “I start ignoring you because I'm so tired of the fact that we’re constantly arguing about my friends - people I care about - and every time we talk we just end up fighting again!” you point your finger at him even before he opens his mouth to protest, “And don’t say that’s not true, Potter, it’s been months since we’ve had a decent conversation and now that we’re talking, we’re back to arguing again.”

James stops and suddenly thinks that holy shit, you’re right. He barely remembers the last time you’ve had a civil conversation that wasn’t a screaming match, or the last time he made you laugh or even barely smile.

But pride is an ugly thing, and he isn’t ready to admit his faults - but is more than ready to point out yours. “So you do admit that you started ignoring me!”

You seem to lose it. “Yeah, douchebag!” you yell. “Don’t you get it? That's why we haven’t fought lately! That’s why we’ve been so peaceful! Because we didn’t talk!”

First James, then Potter, then douchebag. He's about to have a heart attack - he once was JJ and Jamie to you. “Maybe it’s best if we just… stop talking. Like, at all.” he murmurs, almost hoping that you will protest. It’s never really been him the one fighting for this friendship - since the Marauders entered the picture, it’s like he stopped fighting to maintain a good relationship with you, but started to fight to make it crumble to the ground. He’s realising it now, but it’s too late, and unlike him, you’re not that keen on letting him come back.

Please, he thinks, don’t let me do this.

But instead of protesting, you spitefully murmur, “Yeah, I thought so.”

And the same field that has seen you two grow up is seeing you two split up, probably for good.

#harry potter fanfic #james potter #james potter fanfic #james potter fanfiction #james potter x reader #pizzapottah's writing #harry potter imagine #harry potter fanfiction #james potter x slytherin!readeer #james potter x y/n #marauders era fanfic #james potter x you #james potter imagine #marauders era

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bellewintersroe · 8 months

Text

Lance Stroll x HornerDaughter! BFF Smut.

Ok this is loosely based of an audio linked by @2-fast-2-curious because she’s doing gods work out here with her F1 audio masterlist, I’m not sure if I should link the actual audio I don’t wanna steal anything, but anyway here’s some Lance smut so 18+. warning: explicit content, intoxication, funny drunken arguments, masturbation, unprotected sex, unexpected sex, creampie, oral, admission of feelings? probs not a warning but yolo. I LOVE writing as reader being Horner’s daughter it’s just fun ok. Reader and Lance are besties and have been for a while but they reunite and something clicks between them, anyway enjoy…

Partying it up in Monaco was probably the pinnacle of my life. Nothing could get better than being 22 and dancing on a yacht with all of your closest friends. Promiscuous Girl was blaring through the speakers as the yacht began its way back to dock in the harbour. It was a Saturday night and the expensive town of Monte Carlo was bustling. Vibrant nights exploded through the night sky and vibrations of all kinds of music spread through my body.

“Should you be up there?!” Lance asked, one of my closest friends as he stared up to me on the back of the drivers platform. “No.” I giggled, “c’mon, let’s get you down.” He held his hands out, helping me down off the side. “We’re going back to Jaspers, are you coming?” He questioned as I jumped, a little uneasy on my feet as the boat rocked slightly.

“We’re going back to Jaspers? And not a club?!” I almost burst out laughing, out of everywhere to choose from we were going back to a house party- equivalent to afters? “Yeah, I don’t know why.” Lance shook his head, watching me for a second before scanning around the boat. When he turned away I stole a glimpse before mimicking his action of watching all our friend. The good majority of us had known each other for a good 10+ years, now we were all back in Monaco to celebrate nothing particular, it felt like a school reunion. “Aren’t you glad to be back with everyone?” I then nudged the Canadian who I’d known since being a child. “Yeah, it’s kinda weird. Everything feels normal again.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean…” I faintly muttered, gazing into the distance. “You’re so corny, you know!” I then teased, jabbing his side. “Hey, you asked!” He playfully knocked me back as we engaged in a gentle scuffle. “You’re the one person I hoped wasn’t coming to this party!” He joked as I gasped, “and you’re the one person I want to push overboard!” With a gentle shove back, Lance giggled cheekily, holding my arms still.

“Get your dirty hands off me. I don’t know where they’ve been.” I teased, firmly crossing my arms across my chest. “You don’t even wanna know, miss Horner.”

“You’re right, I don’t… I’m gonna go get a drink before we dock, you coming?” “Sure…”

Soon enough we docked, and the main bulk of us went to Jasper’s house. I mainly lingered around my closest girls, piling into the bathroom, sitting in the bathtub, having deep conversations in the tub one minute and then dancing the next. It was just like how it felt when we were all 16. I’d always eagerly tried to recreate my teenage years, missing the freedom and carefree attitude I always had, so the whole nice was like a free cure for any of my problems. At one point, Jasper and Kiran, butted heads. They were way too drunk, and you just know when their shirts off and their ego’s were inflated, there’d be trouble. “Nah bro, you’re still the same as school.” Jasper waved him off, Kiran frowning, squint growing as he got progressively more angry. Kiran and Jasper went to the same international school in the south of France, they always fought. They’d fight over girls, alcohol, cars, money, and when there was nothing to fight over they’d fight over nothing.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” The Italian responded as a few of us gathered, waiting for the entertainment to start. “You’re still a prick mate, you act like a fucking 16 year old.” “Oh, here we go…” Somebody muttered from besides me, I glanced up to see Lance and a smile grew. “What are they fighting over now?”

“Erm, something to do with shoes and alcohol bottles, I don’t even know.” I waved it off. “Nice.” Lance, along with about six more of us stood and watched the argument progress until the men were almost head butting one another.

“Maybe I should stop this now…” Lance comically sighed. “Or maybe I should wait for it to get physical.” Within seconds it got physical. “Oh shit.” Lance flew forwards and others attempted to break up the fight. It was comical, drunken fights always were so dramatic, it made me laugh. I stood there and laughed out loud, I must’ve looked so unhelpful but when masculine men got all fragile and crazy it was funny. The fight caused the party to end, probably at the right time, many people were staying there, but with my family’s house nearby, I thought it would be best just to head back. “Oh you’re leaving?!” My friend Molly exclaimed.

“I’m going to bed.” I yawned, my sobriety taking over and exhausting me. “What? You’re not staying over here?!” She exclaimed. “I was gonna go to my bed.” I was then met with a chorus of complaints pleading me to stay as it would be ‘just like old times’. What I didn’t expect was to be stuffed on a sheet on the floor in a room where the air-con was blasting me to death. I was in my underwear and one of Jasper’s shirts, trying to bunch up as much blanket as possible but Naomi, who I slept besides, rolled over and took them all. After an hour or so the sleep wouldn’t come, so I excused myself (silently) and just stood in the hallway shuddering slightly. I suppose it wasn’t too late to go home, it was nearing 4:30AM and sleep would be non existent, unless I found somebody who actually had a bed to themselves. I turned lightly seeing the door to Lance’s room on the bottom floor open, swiftly I patted down the stairs with a quiet giggle knowing I could bug him enough to sleep in the bed. We used to share all the time when we were younger, so to me it wasn’t such a big deal.

Creeping in, I nudged open the door to see Lance’s face lit up with the reflection of his face. “Hey..” he whispered, a smile growing as he dropped his phone to one side. “Can I come in?” I asked.

“Yeah, sure. Shut the door behind you.” He pushed himself up a little to reveal he was shirtless. Again, no big deal, right? I giggled, closing the door behind me as he patted the bed besides him. “Couldn’t sleep?” He questioned. “No, I was on the floor and Naomi was hogging the covers.” I tucked my legs up under me on the bed, facing him directly. “Unlucky. You cold? Come get under.” The Canadian hushed, budging up as I felt the relief of slipping under the blankets, warm from where he’d been laying.

“Why’re you awake?” I then questioned pulling them all the way up over my shoulders. “Couldn’t sleep. Hey, this is like old times again isn’t it?” He nudged softly, the warm of his arm brushing against the cool of mine with a hiss. “You’re so cold, c’mere.” He wrapped his arm around me, sinking down into the sheets as we borderline cuddled. “Now it’s like old times.” I pointed out as he giggled again. “Oh yeah? We used to do this a lot, didn’t we?” Expect now it felt different. Lance and I were no longer awkward and frigid 16 year olds, he had muscles, I had boobs, there was extra parts pushing against extra parts and it made me feel… different.

“I know, back when we were both frigid.” I whispered knocking into his chest which my arm laid across. Lance let out a laugh a little too loud in return. “We both were weren’t we..” He then sighed as I let out a giggle before a comfortable silence took over us. “This bed is so much comfier.” I muttered, staring into the darkness of the bedroom. Truthfully, there was something a lot more intimate about sharing a bed with Lance all these years later. “You’re a lot comfier than you used to be.” I nuzzled up, my chest pressing up against his side. “Me? Really, why?” “Muscles.” I squeezed at his bicep playfully as he swatted me away when the action must’ve been ticklish. “Yeah well, you’ve got tits now, didn’t you used to be like a waterboard?!” He fired back playfully as I choked out a gasp, attempting to push at him but his hands grasped mine.

“I had small ones, thank you very much!” Lance laughed at my response. “Oh, what the fuck.” He quickly spoke, arm falling back around me and resting softly on my upper back. “What?” I giggled, pushing up. Our faces were super close and for the first time in forever I felt something spark up inside of me. Lance’s smile softened as his eyes roamed over my face before down to my chest.

“Who’s shirt is that?” “My boyfriends.” I lied as Lance shifted quickly. “I’m kidding. It’s Jaspers!” My eyes widened. “Oh.” There was an evident relief on his face and in that moment I felt my knee knock against his leg. “I had no shirt to sleep in, but it’s kinda… uncomfortable.” The shirt was scratchy, it was drowning me and I most definitely couldn’t sleep in it. “Why don’t you take it off?” Lance glanced up and down to my propped up state. His words were quick and I could see the slight worry that twitched in his eye after he answered. “Take it off? Now?” My breath was hitched as the two of us stared back to each other.

“Yeah…” Lance didn’t break eye contact as my lips stretched out into a grin at his seriousness. “What? Shut the fuck up, I’m being serious.” He joked as I smirked down, fiddling with the hem of it.

“But I’m not wearing anything under…” “Oh you’re not?” Lance seemed on edge, eyes constantly dropping down. The peaks of my nipples were pressed up against the fabric and if he looked close I swore he could see the outline of my piercings.

“No…” I whispered gently as his free hand slid forwards, fiddling with the end of my shirt. It seemed to happen in an instant that my top was off and my breasts were exposed. I giggled, covering them slightly as I laid back, Lance propped to the side of me. “Don’t go all shy!” He chuckled. “I’m not, I’m not.” I pushed them together slightly, feeling Lances eyes fixated on them. I knew I was getting turned on, I wondered if he felt the same? There was an undeniable tension between us and I was shocked that we’d actually crossed the barrier of being ‘just friends’. “You’ve got really good tits.” His voice lowered, as I scanned over his body. “Your turn.” Except the only thing he was wearing was his underwear. With a smile, Lance pushed his hands under the hem of his Calvin Kleins, freeing himself but he was hidden under the duvet. “What’re we doing right now?” He quickly laughed to himself as I giggled, arching my back slightly. “Is this weird?” He then muttered, hand disappearing under the covers. “I don’t know, is it?”

“No… what’d you- uh, want me to do?” Lance quietly asked, almost shyly. “I don’t want you to do anything.” I teased, giggling as I glanced down. “You just said take them off!” By the looks of it they were already half off. “I know!” “Fuck it… now I’m fully naked and you’re not!” He pointed out. “You want me to take my underwear off?” My heart was beating rapidly as I laid against the pillow, gazing up to him. His hand brushed against my naked waist, resulting in me swallowing harshly.

“Yeah, I want you to..” his voice was so gentle I barely heard it. I looked down, my hands sliding under the band of my thongs feeling his hand meeting mine and pushing them off, exposing me completely. I felt the blood rush to my core as I squeezed my legs together, looking back up to him with a smile.

“What do you wanna do now?” I lightly asked. “I dunno- you wanna kiss me?” To this I burst out laughing. “Fine! We won’t kiss!” He chuckled, placing a hand on my stomach.

“Wouldn’t that make it weird?” I dumbly asked, becoming lost at the sensation of his large hand sprawled across my stomach and hip bone. “What and this wouldn’t?” He muttered, fingers grazing over my skin as I inhaled deeply.

“No.” I swallowed, glancing down to where Lance’s hand had slipped off me and onto himself. “What’re you having a wank or something?” I teased. “No, I’m just… I’m fucking hard.” He admitted as I felt a blush rise on my face.

“Why?”

“Why? Cos you’re naked and fucking hot as fuck right now.” He spoke as I smiled, “you wanna touch yourself?”

“Fuck, yeah.” Lance borderline whined as I felt his movements begin under the covers. I bit down on my finger, giggling deviously as butterflies erupted in my lower stomach. I didn’t think I’d been this turned on in a long long time- and it was over one of my lifelong friends? I always knew Lance was hot, but not this hot.

“Touch yourself as well, it’s only fair.” He panted out a laugh as my fingers slipped down. The minute I made contact with my clit I felt relief, applying pressure to my throbbing pussy. “Fuck.” Lance uttered, mesmerised as his eyes wandered over me, his jaw slightly hung slack as he jittered as his hand moved a little quicker.

“I can’t believe I’m doing this…” I snickered, hearing him hum out a laugh. “Can I touch you?” He then questioned, making me slightly nervous. “Yeah.” God, I wanted him to, the room felt red hot with tension. Lance’s hand slid over my tits, giving them a squeeze slightly before moving down to my pussy. He didn’t waste anytime, I was getting wetter by the second, and when his fingers touched me I let out a soft gasp at the sensation. My best friend was touching me so intimately, the more I watched him, the more shocked I was, it felt fucking great, the adrenaline was pumping inside of me and I felt desperate for Lance. I was trying to keep quiet, and also keep my composure, but Lance was too fucking good at this. “I need to taste you, fuck.” He shifted, sliding to the end of the bed as I covered my mouth with my arm, choking out a moan.

Lance was like a fucking god as he ate me out. His mouth was so warm against my pussy and he physically moaned as he licked and sucked over my clit. “Fuck- I can’t believe you’re so good at this.”

“Yeah… you wanna return the favour?” He teased. “Yeah.” I seriously whined. “Yeah?” He kissed my upper pubic bone as I lifted my head, nodding with a gentle breath. Lance switched our positions around, scraping my hair back gently as I smiled, shyly moving forwards.

“Is this weird?” I asked, his cock literally in my hand. “No.” He seemed tense. “Just go slow or I might bust too quick.”

“Really?” I slowly tugged on his member, teasing over the smooth skin as he let out a shaky breath. “Fuck, don’t laugh.” He nudged my shoulder as I giggled, moving down and wrapping my lips around his cock. Hearing Lance moan as I pleasured him with my mouth was something I never expected. It felt so dirty and raunchy, it turned me on even more. The way his arms trembled as he gripped the bed sheets, sliding his fingers through my hair, or when he pleaded for me to slow down.

“Fuck, don’t cum!” I laughed, swiping my thumb against the corner of my mouth. “You’re so fucking good at that, oh my god…” he sounded so turned on, his voice was low and sultry, pulling me by the arms on top of him. “I wanna fuck you, can I fuck you?” He was wide eyes, scanning over my own.

“Yeah.” I was breathless, reaching for his cock as I eased it inside myself, the two of us letting out a sigh in pleasure. It had been so long since anybody had fucked me, and the fact it was Lance made everything feel 10x better.

“Oh my god.” I moaned as I bounced ontop of him. “Oh fuck, baby, bounce on my cock, like that.”

“Lance.” I whined in response as he hummed, holding onto either side of my hips. “You feel so good.” His head tipped back with a moan as I lifted my hips, bouncing on my knees on top of his cock.

“So do you.” I panted, the sound of our skin slapping and the bed creaking filling the room. We continued like that for a few more minutes, Lance pulled me down, our faces inches apart as he fucked into me. “Fuck, I’ve needed this so bad.” He groaned, his hips slapping into mine as I let out an open mouthed moan, his hand sliding up the back of my head.

“Kiss me, fuck y/n, kiss me.” Lance begged as I pressed my lips against his firmly. It felt so good, the kiss was so heated and desperate, it spurred the sex on further.

“Fuck, my legs.” I groaned, “lazy.” Lance teased as I scoffed. “Shut up or I’ll stop.” He smirked, flipping us around as the bed creaked under out movements. There was movement outside the other room, footsteps drawing closer and moving past the room as Lance and I stared back to each other in amusement. “Sh, sh, sh.” He hushed, looking towards the door. I giggled, bucking my hips up playfully.

“They’re going to the bathroom.” He whispered, turning down and laughing, purposefully pinning his hips up against mine to the bed. The movements started again, slowly. I could hear whoever was in the toilet flushing the toilet and the run of the tap, until we heard the bedroom door close again it was a mission to stay quiet. “Fuck me properly now, fuck me.” I pleaded with Lance, wrapping my arms over his shoulder as he spread my legs wider, beginning to thrust into me once again. Our quiet moans filled the room, his cock pushed up deep inside of me as his balls slapped against my skin.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this, oh my god.” He laughed as I giggled, pulling him in for another kiss. “I wanted you for so long.” He admitted as I let out another moan, muffling it with another kiss. “Fuck me, fuck me.” The sex continued, in doggy, spooning, back in missionary, it felt like we were at it for ages.

“Can you cum like this?” Lance questioned, voice on edge as he held me close. “Not like this.” I admitted, he didn’t hesitate to move down and pleasure me with his mouth again.

It didn’t take long before he was pushing me over the edge, giving me the first ever orgasm from oral ever. I felt like I was in bliss, and after a few more thrusts inside of me, Lance was jerking himself over my stomach and tits, spilling his cum with a bitten back groan.

“Fuck, fuck.” The Canadian man tossed his head back, falling forwards on top of me, kissing me deeply as I hummed against his lips, scraping my hand through his messy hair. “You were so fucking good.” I cooed as he let out a husky hum, continuing to keep his lips against mine.

“So were you. Fuck, I’ve been in love with you for so long…” his words startled me, a warmth spreading through me as I gasped out. “Have you?” He pushed up on top of me, lingering there as he nodded shyly.

“I think- I think I love you too…”

#Lance stroll x reader #lance stroll #lance stroll x horner daughter #Lance stroll smut #Lance stroll x reader smut

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aurae-rori · 17 days

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DR RATIO ANALYSIS PT 3 BUT IT'S JUST GAY

Now, you might be saying - "Aurae, you've done part one, and part two, so why do we need a part three?" The answer is because of two things - one. I made a deal with the Tumblr Peoples that if one of my posts hit more than 50 likes I would do this analysis. Two. Mihoyo is making this shit canon. I CAN'T MAKE THIS UP. So, let's delve into my usual disclaimer, as we might have some new people joining us for the first time with my insanity.

I have been researching psychology personally for about six years, so although I am not a professional (crawling my way there through the education system. I will be one, one day.) I do have some experience with analyzing homosexuals. Psychology hours, my children. They don't call me "chronically cooking" for nothing. Maybe I should change my url to that...

NOW THAT MY LONG AHH DISCLAIMER IS OVER, LET'S GET INTO THIS! It's time to deconstruct these homosexuals like a modern airplane, because they might as well be taking off with how canon they are.

"It can't be canon," they say, but then Mihoyo DOES PAID SPONSORSHIPS WITH THESE FUCKERS BEING GAY. We've all seen the paid partnership edit. We've all seen the video where Aventurine has the audio of "nice rack" as he talks to Dr. Ratio. PAID SPONSORSHIPS. Now, if that piece of evidence isn't enough for you - let's dive into their actual relationship, which is just a HOMOSEXUAL MESS. I will be focusing more on how Dr. Ratio sees this guy as this is a Dr. Ratio analysis™, but hey, the crumbs.. we eat 'em all. Amen.

Let's start off (I say as I write this part three days later) about how people are like, 'Aven is Ratio's favourite idiot' WRONG. Ratio does NOT consider Aventurine to be an idiot and knows that he is smart and capable in his own right. While Ratio is book smart, Aven is extremely street smart and holds his own very well. Ratio does not consider Aventurine to be an idiot as he takes off his plaster head around him and actually indulges in his whims around him. This is a blatant showcase of fondness because although he is emotionally constipated and can't be affectionate through words without sounding semi-backhanded because he's never had true affection in his life, he showcases his love through actions rather than words. He's just bad at showing love, okay? But he does love Aven. Or like him, to some extent, if you don't want to see them as romantic, which is fine. However, no matter what you label their bond as, it's obvious that they care for one another.

Also, the fucking ZEST FEST that was 'keeping up with Star Rail'. He says, "wait a minute - MUTUAL?" which indicates that he has respect for Aventurine in the first place. He LITERALLY TOLD US that he respects Aventurine and he was commenting on Aventurine's playstyle & everything.. also, at the end, he was here because 'I appreciate this show's dedication to knowledge' - his TONE. Kudos to the VA because that was not convincing at all. Bro was NOT here for the knowledge, bro was here to be GAY!!! Also his little own bathtub couch. We all know Aven bought it for him. Trust, I am John Hoyoverse.

"The Charming Audacity" HUH? BRO? Okay this is hilarious to me because this is the first time that we ever really see them interact with one another, and we get absolutely bitchslapped in the fact that Dr. Ratio calls this guy's audacity 'charming'. That's GAY. That's HOMOSEXUAL.

Also, comparing him to a peacock.. a very beautiful bird.... Must I say more?

Now, the part that I really want to focus on is the part where he gives the Doctor's Note to Aventurine. This shit is important. And I agree with the people who are like - Acheron helped him. Because she did. She was a big part of it and she helped Aventurine get back on his feet in the void. Dr. Ratio is not his only reason to live, but the note, showing that someone will stay by his side? Showing that someone truly cares for him? Someone who's waiting for him when he get back? This bond that he has with Dr. Ratio isn't fake. He already has a starting point to get back to - an anchor to return to. Dr. Ratio is his anchor. Whenever he goes off to do crazy shit, Veritas Ratio will be there when he returns. Because Ratio is loyal. Ratio cares. He cared enough to almost jeopardize their plan to make sure that Aventurine was going to be okay. He cares so damn much about Aventurine that he decided that this man's emotional state after the fake betrayal was more important than all of fucking Penacony.

If you want an example of "I would let the world burn for you," it's Ratio. He's a romantic not in the traditional sense, but he cares and loves Aventurine so damn much it makes my heart hurt. "Do stay alive," he says, knowing that Aventurine struggles with living. Those three words mean the whole fucking world to someone who struggles with suicidal ideation and suicidal thoughts. Someone wants you to live. Someone wants you to stay. Someone wants you by their side.

Dr. Ratio cares. Let me say that again - he cares. He banters with Aventurine, tries to create an environment where Aventurine can feel a little bit more comfortable with the two of them, even in a place as dangerous as Penacony. He will put his own life on the line for Aventurine.

He cares. He cares so damn much. I hate gay people. They make me VIOLENTLY homophobic.

Dr. Ratio after expressing his care indirectly and complimenting Aventurine indirectly: Did I do it?

Aventurine, who has caught none of the hints:

Anyway, thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

#aurae analyzes #hsr #aventio #honkai star rail #dr ratio #ratiorine #aventurine #veritas ratio #raturine #golden ratio #aventurine x dr ratio #analysis #character analysis #relationship analysis #these bitches gay #good for them

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reneezsq · 11 days

Text

white marble

❛ !¡ pairing; sunday x gender neutral!reader.

❛ !¡ summary; the golden city, struck at the time before midnight to never see tomorrow or remember yesterday, its magical melancholy accompanying everyone’s dreams.

❛ !¡ warnings; none.

❛ !¡ a/n; i love him sm you don’t know how much, bro is just so cute and i love how much of a yapper he is.

the sky remained the same, forever set in a midnight fever and embraced by the shine of countless stars. they were all false, and shone no real light that could exhaust the wish of the most unfortunate ones, but by gazing at them, one could feel the gaze of the gods above staring back at them. and this alone was enough to forget that it was only a mere illusion.

in the real world, it was probably already 10 pm or something along those lines. no one really knew, even if there were real watches and clocks that told the time a little bit all around town so no one could lose track of the hours, and the minutes and the seconds.

golden eyes stared up at one of those clocks. a bland dark disk hanging on one of the ivory walls of the bathroom — which looked more like an interior pool. numbers from one to twelve were written in roman, in a soft golden hue which matched the color of the two hands of the clock. a third one, very much smaller and less important than the bigger ones as it only displayed the seconds and was too quick to be precise enough, was making a slight ticking sound. it did not feel bothering, it was only faint and absolute silence would have bothered him greatly.

his gaze settled back on the book in his left hand. a history book that talked about another formality in the lands of penacony. he knew those stories by heart by now, but there were always secret details that escaped his grasp. and a mind as avid to knowledge as his was ran towards the promise of being the true master of those lands thanks to the importance those details might hold. his eyes stealthily returned to the right, before going back to the left.

three, two, one.

the almost perfect silence finally stopped when a sway of the bathtub’s water echoed in the room. followed by a small yawn. the weight on his shoulder shifted slightly. his hand on the skin of their lower back moved to their waist, bringing them closer before letting them settle back down against his body. at first, he felt quite compelled with the idea of his lover falling asleep in the bathtub, but now he looked forward to such a pretty sight which could only belong to him.

he put down the book he was holding before. using a handmade bookmark made by them to see the page he stopped at and distancing it from the water. he wouldn’t want to tarnish a book they had so much difficulty getting for him. he would probably never forgive himself if this ended up happening.

his hand then reached for a small glass. a clear water tinted with some blue undertones was being contained in this small cup. even such a trivial object held some importance to him, after all it was a special set that was offered to them by his dearest sister in congratulations for the newly fiancés. he felt like he was on cloud nine upon his sister’s agreement and original acceptance of his lover. a worry that had always clouded his mind before their first meeting, taking into account he started this relationship while the singer was away for a bit.

their eyes now finally lazily opening. and he gave them the time to rub their eyes before proposing the drink. they looked at the beverage. he brought it closer and let them smell the faint fragrance coming from the glass. now, there was that small smile he cherished from the bottom of his little heart.

“blueberry ?” their h hoarse voice, caused by the nap, lurked at him, their eyes peering up from behind their eyelashes. his own eyes softened as he viewed them so cozy and cuddled against him like he was a teddy bear that has been handled to them — he wouldn’t mind being seen as such now that he gives more time to this idea. but he decided to leave that for another moment, and nodded gently.

they did not move an inch as he placed the cold crystal against their dry lips. as they drank slowly, and he made sure not to pour too much and sometimes put the glass away so they wouldn’t choke on the flavored water, he could not stop himself from placing a small kiss on their forehead. feeling some hair under his lips, and smiling as they hummed below him by the affection that seemed all too natural for him. loving them seemed to be as easy as breathing from his lungs.

once they were done, he took them in both of his arms. cuddling them close to his chest and making sure he could feel every inch of their body. a body he knew by heart, and if he ever had to forget everything he ever knew and keep one thing remaining in his mind, it would be the sweet feeling of their shared embrace. their nails tracing lines against his arms and leaving tingles all over his body. it felt nice to be loved by someone as gentle as them.

“all nice ?” surprised danced across his face when they shook their head, but his heartbeat did not flare up yet as that small smile remained on those features he could draw by heart.

“my lips are all dry…” now, it was his turn to have a smile plastered on his face. from his view above, their lips looked perfectly fine. even more when their tongue snuck out briefly to let some saliva help with rejuvenating their lips. he leaned down and placed a small kiss on their lips. their hands came to rest on his cheek, bringing him down for another small kiss after he had just pulled away.

“better ?” he inquired silently. “mhm.” was the only answer he needed. he placed a cheek upon their head, continuing to cuddle them. might as well remain here a bit more before going to bed, they have the whole night ahead for themselves after all. for once, penacony can and will wait. he has found what is more important than this dreamscape now.

TAGGING:: @aventxsha; @dxmoness; @sweetlyvibe; @quatrdeal; @yoghurtsan

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kkarmiic · 1 year

Note

hey hello! i'm not sure if you have witten anything like this but could you do headcanons for the demon bros with an extremely affectionate reader? like, the reader is super touchy with everyone they're close to like they need to be touching someone at all times. it can be platonic or romantic! also, would you mind doing he/him pronouns? thanks! -⭐

#’ DEMON BROS WITH AN AFFECTIONATE GN!READER

🫐’ CONTENT AND WARNINGS

\\ synopsis: hcs of the brothers reacting to an extremely affectionate gn!reader

‘+ genre: fluff

*# warnings: lesson 16 mentions in belphies part.

// authors note: there didn’t end up being any pronoun usage at all so it ended up being GN!READER

#’ LUCIFER

Since you wouldn’t be comfortable touching them (assumably) before you’re close to them, by the time your hyper affectionate naturals shows you’re pretty close.

The first time it happens, Lucifer has been working for hours without any breaks and you started to feel a little more touched deprived than usual.

You end up sneaking into his study, hands clasped at your sides.

He perks his head up, assuming you were his brother and ready to tell them to go away, until he saw it was you.

“Mc?” He asks, placing down his pen.

You asked for a hug, and ofcourse he obliged.

Oh. Oh.

His arms were so warm, his grip so tight and you couldn’t help but melt into his warm embrace.

You missed the affection, you got more in the human world and you hadn’t had a hug like this in so long.

The hug lasts longer than anticipated, both of you refusing to let go, and when you do, you swear you can see the faint tint of pink brushing over his cheeks.

Since that day, you couldn’t get enough, and in all honesty, even despite his efforts to conceal it, he couldn’t either.

Lucifer is a very touched starved man, nobody gives him affection (save for diavolo)

You’d walk downstairs, ready for breakfast and press a gentle kiss against his cheek.

Ofcourse he’s very taken aback.

He secretly loves it, will tell you so in private.

But not in-front of his brothers.

You’d drag him to bed after long study sessions, be practically glued to his side, he couldn’t shake you off even if he tried.

And he doesn’t want to.

#’ MAMMON

He’d definitely be more laid back about it, but becomes a blushing stuttering mess the moment you touch him.

“Ofcourse you’d want to touch the great mammon!”

Something along those lines.

However, his greed doesn’t just encompass money, it also extends to your affection.

You’re giving one of his brothers a hug? Why would you do that when he’s right there?!

I was going to say that would be a sin; but…

The first time you hug him, one late night out, you’re so tired, eyes heavy and just wanting to fall straight to sleep.

In your drowsy haze, you lean forward and press your head into him, mumbling something about being tired.

His heart is going crazy.

Shaky hands wrap around you, a slight grin forming on his face.

Why does his chest feel so warm? Why is there butterflies in his stomach?

I mentioned peeling you off lucifer, good luck peeling mammon off of you.

He will steal random kisses (either platonically or romantically) from you, pecks when you’re cooking, when you’re getting ready, when you’re eating when-

The brothers are sick of you two.

You’re so affectionate all the time it makes them sick (light heartedly ofcourse)

#’ LEVIATHAN

He’s probably the most bashful about affection.

You’re binging an anime with him one day when you lay your head onto his shoulder, and you can feel his whole body become tense beneath you.

His eyes go wide and just a little bit frantic, and instead of his attention being on the screen, it’s now on you, and you laying on his shoulder

His heart is going to race out of his chest.

Can you hear it? Oh god what if you can hear his heart going crazy?

He is sweating and stressing.

He will eventually get more used to it, but he’s just as, if not more, touched starved than lucifer.

Cuddles in the bathtub?

Cuddles in the bathtub.

Begs Lucifer to let you be home educated with him.

That’s not going to happen I’m sorry.

Please tackle him as soon as you get home from school.

He can die a happy man in your arms.

He’s still a mess around you, don’t get me wrong.

But he makes sure you don’t need to go to anyone else for affection.

#’ SATAN

I feel like he’d be one of the most cool and collected about it all (unlike the messes above)

I do however think he’d be one of the most touch starved brothers.

He doesn’t have any interest in people, and even though he doesn’t necessarily have a need for affection.

However when you begin showing him affection, he does realise how touch starved he is.

He’s reading to you one night, you’re curled up next t him when you lay your head on his chest.

A smile tugs on his lips and he wraps his arms around you, continuing to read, but this time has a hand running circles on your back.

He prefers small affection displays, like a hand around the waist (either his or yours), or kisses as a greeting.

But since you’re hyper affectionate, you probably want to be holding hands, or curled up to him at all times (or vice versa)

He definitely likes laying in between your thighs while he reads, it’s just so… warm and relaxing.

I don’t think it’d ever be too much for him.

He just enjoys the simple things in life, and even though you’re far from simple, it’s simple affection and that’s what matters.

#’ ASMODEUS

I’m so sorry but you’d be the annoying ‘couple’ at RAD.

You know the ones who are constantly blocking the halls because they’re holding hands or kissing?

Yeah.

He’s also super affectionate, and loves when you’re affectionate with him.

It’s his favourite thing.

He definitely likes linking pinkies with you.

Cuddle with him in his soft bed!

The mattress and covers are ridiculously nice.

You’re about to sleep for a whole century in that.

He also likes indirect affectionate. Like you doing his makeup, or painting his nails (or vice versa).

You’re close enough to touch, even if only slightly.

It’s oddly calming for him.

He also really likes sharing baths with you.

The really aesthetic bubble baths with roses you see on Pinterest?

Those.

He washes your back for you and your hair.

Gives you scalp massages and back rubs.

He’s really good with affection.

#’ BELPHEGOR

This is a match made in… hell? (Positive)

You, hyper affectionate.

Belphie who sleeps all day and has been looking for a new cuddle partner.

You’re his pillow now.

You’re studying? Sorry. No, you’re coming to his bed so he can lay on you and fall asleep.

Cooking? Someone take over he wants to cuddle.

Movie nights? He’s beside you, cuddling you.

It’s also his way for making up for… everything.

It’s sad but it’s his own miniature way of dealing with it.

He doesn’t really have the energy to pepper you in kisses like the other brothers, but still.

He’s the best cuddle partner.

Belphies bed is so soft, best for sleeping. Mountains of pillows and warm fuzzy blankets.

I also headcanon he has a weighted blanket, even though he can sleep well without it it’s still nice to have.

#’ BEELZEBUB

He likes to carry you.

No matter your weight, height etc.

He will find a way to carry you, this man is STRONG.

When you first cuddle him, you’re watching a TV show together, he’s DEVOURING a big bucket of popcorn and you just put your head into his lap.

He pauses for a moment before he starts playing with your hair.

Oh he’s a cuddle bug too.

He really loves affection as-well, he just goes with what you want, and he’s comfortable with whatever.

He will let you know if you push his boundaries, but I really doubt it.

Expect to be carried around the halls of RAD.

He also does this odd thing when you’re cuddling he will take nips (albeit affectionate) out of your hands, arms and thighs.

He really appreciates the way you show your love for people, it makes him feel valued.

#obey me x reader #obey me x male reader #asmodeusobeyme #asmodeus x male reader #lucifer x reader #lucifer x male reader #asmodeus x reader #Beelzebub x reader #Beelzebub x male reader #belphegor x male reader #belphegor x reader #mammon x reader #mammon x male reader #Satan x reader #Satan x male reader

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