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toxophilitis · 3 months

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Horny Peeping Sister cont

Chapter 9

When his children told him about what he had missed, Jim forgot his fears about going out spying. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more anxious he became to hit the streets again as soon as possible.

The next evening, when his wife said she felt a little ill and went up to bed very early, Jim couldn’t have been happier. He was so eager to look in on some hot fucking action that he was willing to take a chance on going out with Becky and Tom while their mother was in the house.

“Get your coats kids, let’s go, go, go!” he exclaimed, interrupting their television program and switching off the set.

“Come on, Dad,” Tom said. “We can’t go with mom here.”

“Your mother has gone to bed with a headache.”

“Yeah, but what if she gets up?” Becky asked.

“I just looked in on her, and she’s asleep already. What’s the matter with you guys?” Jim leered. “Don’t you wanna fuck?”

Becky and Tom both laughed at their father’s new-found sexuality. And, instead of answering his question with words, they just went upstairs to change their clothes.

“I can’t believe she’s not home either,” Becky sighed as they turned away from Brenda’s darkened window. “She was our last hope!” The disappointed blonde looked into the equally long faces of her father and brother. They’d combed the neighborhood and had not found anything interesting to look at. Even the ultra-sexy Brenda had disappointed them.

“I guess it wasn’t meant to be,” Jim said, draping an arm around the shoulder of each of his children. “We might as well just go home and try another night.”

“Shit, and I was gettin’ really hot for it, too,” Tom grumbled, kicking a stone. They took their time walking home, their eyes still scanning the windows along the back alley. Many of them were lit and some even had open drapes. But there was no fucking happening in any of them. They were just a few houses away from their own backyard when they suddenly saw the light in Jim and Julia’s bedroom go on. Instinctively they all hurried up, then slowed again when they realized it was just their own house.

“Your mother must be up,” Jim said.

“Oh god, what’ll we tell her?” Becky exclaimed worriedly.

Jim just laughed and rumpled her hair. “I’ll just say we went out for ice cream or something. Don’t worry.” As they passed by Julia’s lighted window on the way around to the front door, they just couldn’t help but look in. And when they did, the sight stopped them dead in their tracks, the three of them letting out a collective gasp of surprise. In her present state, Julia looked anything but ill. In fact, Becky and Tom had never seen her look lovelier and Jim instantly felt his cock pound with a longing for his wife he hadn’t felt in years.

Julia was leaning back against the padded headboard of their big bed. She was naked and her legs were spread, her knees bent and pointed outward. Her small body looked rather frail in the soft light, her short blonde hair making her look like a child. The cross expression that had seemed permanent on her face lately was gone, and in its place was a look of rapture. Her hands were between her parted legs and all three observers assumed she was fingering her pussy. But then she drew her hands back away from her cunt and they could see something large between them.

“She’s fucking herself with something!” Becky gasped. “Oh my god, it’s a cucumber!”

Jim and Tom stared. Becky was right, Julia did seem to be pounding a large, green cucumber in and out between the lips of her cunt, her face rolling with lust. Jim and Tom and Becky each looked at each other blankly. Jim couldn’t understand it. His wife almost never wanted to fuck him, and here she was fucking herself with a pseudo cock. What was her problem? he wondered. Although Tom and Becky didn’t know the details about their parents’ sex life, they had assumed that it wasn’t the greatest. Still, they couldn’t help feeling sorry for their father. His expression belied a dozen mixed emotions.

“Don’t be upset, Dad,” Becky whispered, nuzzling up to her father and cupping his tented crotch.

“Yeah, Dad,” Tom piped up. “Who needs her? You’ve always got us.”

Jim cupped his daughter’s groping hand and gave his son a short hug. He just didn’t understand Julia and he watched her for many minutes, his confusion growing rather than lessening. Tom and Becky stood quietly while their father stared at their mother. Becky kept her hand at his crotch, her fingers working over his lengthening prick. She was glad that she could make his cock hard even when he was so upset. What the girl didn’t realize was that his hard-on was as much for his wife as for Becky’s tender ministrations. Her young pussy bubbling as usual, Becky then dropped to her knees in front of her startled father and drew his zipper down.

Jim didn’t react and Becky helped herself to his prick, lifting it out of his pants. As she took her father’s cock in her mouth, she looked up his body toward his face. His eyes were sad, but his mouth was turned up into a sort of smirk. When she ran her tongue around the tip of his cock-head, she was delighted when he sighed and began to thrust his hips slightly, his attention still focused on Julia inside the house. Tom watched his mother, too. She was usually so hateful that the boy had never given her body much thought. But now, Tom had to admire his father’s taste in women. His mom was petite but really built, with big tits and a figure that was usually hidden under loose, bulky clothes. Her legs were short but nice and the hair between them was as blonde as the hair on her head. While they watched her, Julia rotated her ass around, pulling it up off the bed slightly. Sometimes she fucked her body at the thick, green vegetable and other times she used it to fuck herself. She rolled her head back against the pillows piled behind her back, the ecstasy she felt very obvious on her flushed face. Then she used one hand to fuck herself, moving the cucumber deftly. Her other hand remained at her crotch, rotating quickly, obviously stimulating her clit.

Tom felt his cock harden in his pants and he looked over to see how Becky was coming with the cock-sucking of their father, hoping it would be his turn very soon. Becky had her back to the window as she bobbed her face up and back on Jim’s prick. She took and released his cock-meat quickly, her hands toying with his balls. From time to time when she held only the tip of his prick between her tender lips, she turned herself enough to see that her mother was still fucking herself as lewdly as ever with the fake prick. The scene made her pussy juice and she wondered why she’d never thought of doing something like that herself when she was alone and horny. Becky jumped a little when her father suddenly reached down and caressed the top of her head. Aside from moving his hips a bit, he had been very unresponsive to her head-job. She sucked his prick a little harder now and Jim began to pant, his eyes still on his wife rather than on the girl kneeling in front of him.

Faster and faster the cucumber flew in and out of Julia’s pussy. The two men in her life watched as she brought herself closer and closer to orgasm. Tom felt hotter than he ever had before. Watching his own mother get herself off was something he had never even imagined doing, but now that it was happening he was thrilled by it. He even began to wonder what it would be like to take that stupid cucumber out of her hands and give her his cock to fuck instead. As Tom watched with greedy eyes, Julia threw her head back violently and jammed the green prick completely into her pussy. The vegetable disappeared totally and the woman spasmed hard, her head tossing and her mouth open to emit a silent scream.

“Oh yeah!” Jim gasped, slamming his cock hard into Becky’s throat and pretended his wife’s orgasming pussy rippled around the deeply embedded shaft of his prick. Becky strained to turn around enough to see what was happening with her mother, but she only got a quick glimpse before her father’s hands closed around the sides of her face and forced her to take his cock into her throat again. She moaned around it, forced to take the violent fucking blows meant for her mother’s pussy.

Out of respect for his father, Tom had tried to control himself. During his mother’s exhibition, he had contented himself with just rubbing his fingers over the tip of his packed fly. But now, when Julia jerked the cucumber from her pussy and then flopped over onto her stomach and held the creamy prick up to her lips, Tom couldn’t stand it anymore. He quietly opened his jeans and took out his hard-on, sighing as he began to jack on it while he watched his mother’s latest horny antics. Like a dog with a bone between her paws, Julia sucked and licked on the tasty vegetable, slurping up her own pussy-juices. Jim involuntarily licked his lips. Not too far back in his memory he could recall the delicious flavor of his wife’s cunt-juices and he envied her such a tasty morsel. With renewed vigor he slammed into Becky’s mouth.

Becky had to work hard now to keep up with her father’s fuck-lust. His fuck-strokes were erratic and his cock was dripping so much the girl had to swallow constantly just so she didn’t drown in his creamy flow. Her tongue grew tired from running up and down and around and around his prick-shaft, but Becky kept on, wanting to be the best she could for her sexy dad. If Jim appreciated what she was doing for him, he didn’t let her know. He huffed and puffed, jerking his cock from her fine oral grip and then fucking it back between her lips. But he never looked down at her or called her by name. As Julia worked over the cucumber with her ovaled lips, Jim felt more than ever like the lips that were around his prick belonged to his wife. While Becky played with his balls, he took hold of his own prick-shaft, jacking on it and moving the loose outer skin up and down it much as Julia was caressing the slimy cucumber.

While he worked over his own cock, Becky took a moment to crane her eyes around her father’s hard-on and look in on her mother. Her eyes went wide with shock as she saw the way her mother’s tongue reached out to clean her own pussy-juices off the slick surface of the vegetable she had used to fuck herself. Becky was reminded of the way Bobby’s mother had eaten his cream from Brenda’s cunt and again she felt that funny feeling in the pit of her stomach. What would it be like to taste cunt-juice? she wondered. Again her dad took hold of her face and jerked her back around, forcing her to think of nothing but sucking his cock. She zig-zagged her tongue tip up along that sensitive path on the underside of his prick and heard him grunt.

“Take it, honey,” he ranted. “Take, take it, take it!” Becky was again forced to absorb his frustrated jabs. The head of his cock poked against one cheek and then the other, stretching her pretty face out of shape and venturing dangerously close to her sharp teeth. His father’s words drew Tom’s attention and for the first time in many minutes his eyes left the brightly lit picture of his obscenely displayed mother and hit upon his equally ready father.

Tom saw the way his old man was battering Becky’s face, making her head snap from side to side, her hair slashing across her face. With a lusty grumble Tom gripped his own cock more tightly, fighting back the feelings of jealousy. He would have loved to have had his sister’s warm, soft mouth wrapped around his rigid, aching cock. But since he was alone, he, like his dad, imagined it was his prick Julia was lavishing such tenderness on. Julia’s pointed tongue stuck out as far as she could force it and then she ran it up and down the sides of the vegetable very slowly. She lapped at it like she was eating an ice cream cone and then she ovaled her lips and took several inches of the great shaft into her mouth.

“Yeah, suck me, baby,” Jim panted, his hips pistoning back and forth. “Take it all in and suck me good. You want my cream? I’ll give it to ya, just suck me, yeahhh!”

Becky’s breath snorted out of her nose against the top of her father’s cock. Because she had been sucking him so long and so furiously, her nose began to run and she sniffled, drawing the thin snot back up into her nasal passages. But it didn’t help much and before long she could feel it running down again, gathering at the edge of her nostrils and then running down toward her top lip, which was stretched taut around her father’s fucking prick. Julia sucked her cheeks in around the rigid vegetable, putting a very sexy suction on it.

Both men moaned, each imagining what it would feel like to have such a thing done to him. She forced it in and out between her lips and Tom knew he had never viewed a more unnaturally erotic sight than that long green thing emerging from his mother’s pretty face. Julia made love to that cucumber better than she had to her husband in quite some time and it made Jim’s blood boil to watch. When she sucked in all the thick, round inches of that fake cock, he rolled his eyes, Becky’s mouth becoming his wife’s.

Again Becky peeked around, watching her mother with awe. The woman took in almost the whole cucumber and then pulled it back out. Julia held it up in front of her face, inspecting it closely, and then brought it back to her lips. Then, suddenly and to the horror of those watching her, she quickly bit off the tip of her pretend cock and chewed it up greedily.

“Ah, shit!” Tom grunted, his fantasy abruptly broken off, but his orgasm just as abruptly triggered. Becky heard the first spurt of her brother’s cream and then was startled when the first of her father’s jism followed Tom’s by only a few seconds. She gulped madly, taking the man’s super load and listening to her brother’s cock-cream pissing down onto the asphalt beside her. How she wished she could look at her mother right then, but with her father’s shooting prick crammed down her throat it was impossible for her to turn her head far enough side of the bed.

The man couldn’t help but wonder what other things his own pillow had witnessed while he was away. “I’ve gotta go in there,” he said, speaking as much to himself as to his children.

“What about us, Dad?” Becky asked, getting to her feet, her knees straightening out painfully.

“Fuck, I never knew mom was so hot!” Tom panted, putting his spent cock away. Jim ignored his son’s comment and addressed his daughter. “I think we need to have a family conference. Since I now know that it wasn’t your mother’s head that was bothering her tonight, I think this might be a good time for us all to talk.”

“Should we come with you then?” Becky asked sincerely.

Jim thought for a minute. “No,” he said, “you wait here and when I call you, come running. Your mother won’t say no to me tonight, not after what we just saw. Now give me a kiss for luck.”

Becky got up on her tip-toes and pecked her father on the cheek.

“Thanks hon,” he said, giving her ass a squeeze. “And thanks for the blow-job.” With that he left his children standing in the alley and started in toward the house. Just as he disappeared around the corner, Tom and Becky saw their mother reach over for the bedside lamp and then the bedroom went dark.

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harrywavycurly · 9 months

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Trouble Next Door: Only Once (bonus convo)

Masterlist: Here

TW: Mentions of cheating, punching someone and divorce

Tag List: @sinczir @rach5ive @bruher @kellyxo1 @tiannamortis @makingmunson94 @angelina16torres-blog @tlclick73 @gretavankleep37 @melaninjhs @amira0303 @robyn-118 @idkjoequinn @jaydaaasworld @squidscottjeans @rockstarmunsons @alanamarie @dandelionnfluff @aol19 @eddiesguitarskills @vampdaisy @br66klynbaby @raven-rust @daisyridleyyyy @i-love-ptv @josephquinnsfreckles @mrsjellymunson @hideoutside @eddiemunson-fanfic @paprikaquinn @burns-in-the-sun @cherrycolas-things @exploding-bonbon @krazyk99

A/N: Now y’all might not agree with how Eddie handles this situation aka certain pieces of info he doesn’t tell Reader but you have to put yourself in his shoes and he just doesn’t want to cause anymore stress or issues for his bestfriend. Anywayyyy I hope y’all enjoy✨

“So…before you say anything…don’t be mad okay?” “Edward James…did you hit him?” “Only once…” “what happened to words and not fists?” “He said some stupid fucking words so…I had to use my…fist.” “What did he say?” “That he misses you…and he still loves you and uh something about not wanting a divorce.” “He still loves me? And doesn’t want a divorce…yet he’s the one who cheated?” “I mean it’s Steve and he’s drunk so…making sense wasn’t really in the cards for him tonight.” “What else did he say?” “Nothing.” “Eddie…” “he said that Chrissy kissed him…she’s the one who started this…whole thing.” “What? Why?” “She didn’t think I’d care…” “I’ll kill her.” “No need…it’s fine her and I are over with so no point in going to jail for someone who doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.” “Why would she think you wouldn’t care? She was your wife…you loved her…” “I have no clue…” “so was him telling you he loved me still or that he doesn’t want a divorce that made you hit him? Or are you gonna tell me the truth?” “It doesn’t matter why I hit him okay?…I’m also…not sorry I did…he deserved it.” “Well let’s go get you some ice.” “I love you…please don’t be mad at me.” “I’m not mad at you Eddie…I love you too..I’m sorry I even let you go out there I should’ve just called Jim….he really didn’t say anything else? Like maybe why he did what he did?” “Just that Chrissy started it and it just went from there…” “I was hoping maybe since he was drunk he’d let it all slip out.” “Yeah…oh i forgot to tell you…uhm my house goes on the market in a week.” “What? That’s so exciting…but also sad because we won’t be neighbors anymore.” “Better make the best of it while we can then…but maybe I’ll find something in the neighborhood I like.” “Maybe! I saw a few for sale signs this morning on my walk.” “We’ll be okay…even if we aren’t neighbors you’re never getting rid of me.” “Thank god…can you imagine a life without each other in it? Talk about boring.” “Yeah…so boring.”

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ludwigplayingthetrombone · 2 years

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OFMD Fix-it Part 2

Ayyy here’s part 2! Thank you so much for the incredible response to part 1! I read the tags and comments often y’all are too nice ;v; Enjoy all 69 pages! tw for blood and injury

Part one

kofi

Wee john: Fuck yeah! Roach: We took over Blackbeard’s ship!! Frenchie: Oh no! You dastardly pirates are too scary for me! I surrender!!

Stede: All good everyone! Crew: IS IT?? Stede: [gasp] Did you guys take back the ship?? Ed: You’re shitting me Stede: Excellent job, everyone!

Ed: Hey! Stede: Oh, sorry! I look forward to hearing about it! Ed: Please don’t crack your face again Buttons: Were yee crying? Both: WHAT?! No! Ed: I physically cant cry Stede: Why so you keep asking that? Crew: Captain! Stede: WAIT I’m not discouraging this energy, but please be careful of-

Ivan: What do you want us to do with Izzy, captain? Frenchie: OH FUCK THE KNIFE! Swede: PULL IT OUT! Roach and jim: NO!! [schluck] Pete: FUCK PUT IT BACK IN!! Roach and jim: NO!! Ed: Why disturb him? Sleeping so peacefully. I’ll deal with him later [schluck]

Pete: Where’s lucius? Stede: Yes, we’re missing lucius. Ed! Is the boy below deck? Pete: Did something happen? Frenchie: Oh yeah almost forgot! [knocking on the deck] Stede: What’s this, frenchie? Ed: Lucius is dea-

Lucius: OH THANK GOD! I was going mad in that wa-

Pete: Where have you been? Stede: Lucius! Good to see you, my boy! wee john: Cap’n... Lucius: I was hiding in a secret wall I’d found. Frenchie thought I was a ghost for about a week. Luckily the ship was a barnacled mess Frenchie: Still not convinced if I’m bein’ honest. Couldnt believe you’d survived, Stede: Survived? Pete: Why would you be a ghost, babe? Lucius: Because Blackbeard threw me overboard

Ed: A momentary laspe of judgement Olu: Oh shit

Stede: [knocks] Ed? [door unlocks]

Ed: Ship’s yours again. I can be gone- Stede: you’re leaving? Ed: I nearly killed lucius. Aren’t you upset? Stede: Absolutely livid, but you didnt succeed, thankfully! The atmosphere is tense, things are a little unclear, but they’re open to speaking. I’ve forgiven them for planning to kill me! Blows over quite fast, I’m sure- Ed: I’m a terrible person, stede. You don’t even-

Ed: Crew needed me. Wanted to help me. And I chose Blackbeard. All ‘cuz Izzy opened his FUCKING mouth ‘n backed me into a corner! Lucius would see right through it. I didn’t know what else to d- [flinch] Stede: It’s ok

Stede: Blackbeard is how you’ve been surviving. I understand that now. The only reason you were put in that position was because of my poor decisions. I promise I’ll be here no matter what to help us all get through this. Ed: Pull up the chair, I want my knife back Stede: Oh good finally...

Ed: So a big cat, a carriage accident, and a dropped piano? All at once? Fuckin’ hell, mate, you let ‘em have it. Though, I’d go as far to say the cat was too much. Stede: Whaaat? How could you say that about Ned? He did great. Ed: Just BITTER I wasnt there to see it

Stede: I’m sorry you had to do this again. I know you’re still angry...Ed: Wasn’t about being angry... not at first at least. Just felt.... sad. Really fucking sad, Stede. Didn’t know what to do without you here. None of us did. Felt... Like I just wanted to lay down and die Stede: I...I didnt think my absence would be felt this deeply

Ed: Oh shut- You’re not serious Stede: No, I’m serious. Mary and the kids were much happier when we were planning my departure fuckery. I genuinely can’t think of a time where someone missed my presence

Ed: Well fuck everyone else. Was the crew pissed when you said why you left? Stede: Very much so Ed: Then they missed you, cheers [mumble] I sure as fuck missed you Stede: You did? Sorry, Impulse. Ed: Lean up a bit Stede: I hop I can earn your trust back one day

Ed: Well, knowing about that Chauncey fuck makes me less pissed at you. Least you didn’t ditch me ‘cuz you didn’t want me around anymore. Stede: Oh no, I’ve liked you since the day we met. Ed: You did look hot bleedin’ out on the deck of that spanish ship. Stede: I’m choosing not to unpack that at this moment. Ed: All done up you go! [loud closed-mouthed scream] [ed repressing laughter] You good? Guts still in? Stede: [strained]I think so Ed: Lean on me til it passes

Thanks, did you sew me up the first time? Ed: Nah, that was fang Stede: That fang, beautiful work Ed: Go lay down. I gotta clean up your blood Stede: Again, sorry

Ed: If you apologize one more time for being stabbed, I’ll stab you again Stede: But it led to so much character development last ti- I’ll leave you to it then

Stede: Ah, is this my-? What’s it doing under th-

Stede: Forget I- Ed: No, that’s- I mean, it is yours... It doesnt even smell like y- JUST PUT IT ON

S: May I ask you-? E: shoot S: Why did you let me board the ship? E: I was tired of izzy nagging to blast you with the cannons. Kept talkin’ in my ear about you ‘n it just made me angrier and angrier. Got me so amped up to just fucking kill you the moment I saw you again. Thought I'd just be furious, but I felt... giddy? /hated/ that my chest was pounding, that just made me angrier

E: Then you show up with your tits out looking handsome as shit. S: hmmm [olu: One last thing, captain Stede: What is it, olu- RIP] E: I thought of it too. Leaving. Thought I’d get ahead before I disappointed you. Wasn’t itching for adventure, I knew I was in too deep with you S: I always thought I was disappointing /you/. I’m not the most exciting person E: Me?

E: Stede, you’re the boldest bugger i’ve ever met. Ever since i’ve known about you, you’ve made the most batshit ballsy moves. You took those English hostage, you swindled iz to get them back. you told blackbeard to go suck eggs in hell You stood up to the weird twins, to the English navy, to those richies at that party, to izzy, to jack, to ME. You’re the coolest, kindest person I know, Stede. I’m nuts about you. S: … guess I've never seen myself from that perspective E: If anyone else told me that story, i’d have them tied to the anchor for such a bullshit lie, but it’s you, so i believe it. Its as ridiculous as you are.

E: do you think I’ve ever gotten this upset over some quick drunk fuck parting ways? Only you.

S: Why only me, though?

E: You’re the only person that makes me feel… safe? Like I don’t have to be blackbeard 24/7. Most of my old mates were just dickheads who showed up when they wanted something the buggered off

Dont’ gotta worry about you stabbin’ me in my sleep cause i pissed you off. You don’t laugh when I talk about a fine fabric or a pretty looking teacup. I’ve told you things I thought I’d take to my grave because anyone else would throw it back in my face... But not you. I like your fire hazard, secret passage ship, your crew, when you talk about clothes ‘n book ‘n flowers. You don’t act like anyone else but you... And I envy that

Ed: Because it’s you

Stede: No one’s ever thought that about me... I’m sorry. Hah, I feel a bit dizzy. Ed: Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Lay down if you need [stede crying] Stede?

Stede: You’re the first person who doesnt think I’m a burden. My father, Mary, peers- My whole life- That I was selfish for being born [crying] Ed: Again, Stede, Feck ‘em

Stede: Meeting you was the best day of my life. I was so relieved when you- on the beach- Yuo looked so happy, and I destroyed that Ed: shhh

ed: It’ll be ok

Ed: Look at me. You came back

Ed: And that made Ed happ- IZ: EDWARD, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! [IZZY YELLING]

Ed:[calm] I’m sorry, Will you excuse me for one moment? Stede: Feel free! Ed: Thank-you [Izzy still yelling] [door slam] rapid steps]

[clattering above] [Izzy screaming] [crew cheering] foot falls approaching]

Ed: Now, where were we? Stede: ....Actually I do wanna know Ed: Let’s say, Bit too tied up to bother us again

[stede huffs a laugh] Ed: You look exhausted, you should rest. Pincushion gets the mattress Stede: oh no, I couldn’t. where are you sleeping? Ed: Perfectly comfortable desk right here. [pained moan] Stede: Right... Ed: Night, Stede

ed: I’ll steal a couch soon. ‘M too old to sleep on desks now Stede: I have no qualms [ed sighs]

Ed: Hey, stede Stede: Mm Ed: Can we.... Can we just forget about the beach and start over?

Stede: I don’t think I can this time, Ed. Ed: Slightly concerned you can forget me almost killing you but not a kiss Stede: I’ve decided to be done with running away from my problems and pretending they never happened. But beyond that, My whole world shifted with that kiss. I can’t ever forget that. The memory alone kept me rowing to get to you again

Stede: We’ve hurt eachother, but I’m more than willing to put in the work to mend it... Which is something I never did with mary. Ed: I wont stab you in the earhole by the way. Got mine out of he way. Stede: Only fair! We’re even now. Ed: But mine was funny [swat] [giggle]

Ed: Last thing, then you can sleep off the stab wound Stede: Oh good... Ed: If Blackbeard was gone for good, would you stay? Lotta folks want the novelty y’ know. ‘S been gnashing at the back of my skull. Stede: I met Ed first not Blackbeard

Stede: ‘M staying forever now. Best friends at first sight. From my point of view at least

Ed:...Olivia... How ya doin’, Iz? Iz: Are you fucking joking? Just tell me what’s going on

Ed: Stede won. Crew took the ship back. I’m staying. Oh and lucius is alive, as you saw. Kid said the ship was so mucked up, he was able to hang on to sneak onto the ship. Thought you handled that way back when? Iz: that fookin- Ed: So i’m giving you a choice.

Iz: Just cut my foot off at this point anything but this. Ed: why can’t you ever just relax, izzy? It doesnt have to go this way, yet you stomp your feet Every. Single. Time. How many years have we known eachother; do you even like my company? Iz: How could you even say that to me? I’ve given my life to you time and time again. And You’re going to let some tart waltz back in and uproot everything we built. Ed: Built what? We’re fucking pirates, mate!

Powertrip’s over. This is it. It was a good ride. Fang: Lucius! You’re missing this shit!! Ed: You may love waiting to end up like... another leather clad, middle aged sad sack dying alone in a puddle of his own piss, but you’re not dragging me there with you. So make a choice Iz: You’d really let me walk? Ed: Truthfully, i’d prefer you play nice and enjoy yourself for once. but I’ll give you three options.

Ed: Old way is gone. Either one, accept that and keep it pushin’. Two, I would just let you fuck off, but you’ve proven to be a liability out of my sight, so i’ll have fang cut your talk box, so you never speak stede’s name ever again THEN you can fuck off. And three, more of a clause to one,

Ed: If you go rogue, I’ll make you beg for hell. Threaten anyone on this ship again, You’ll never feel the warmth of the sun ever again

Ed: I’ll let you down if you behave

Iz: [despair sigh] just leave me up here a while longer. ‘S quiet for once. Ed: well alright, take some time to process. let fang know when you gotta piss Lucius: Bad morning? Iz: Yeah, keep staring, twat Lucius: That sounded threatening, right fang? Fang: He’s not above pissin’ on you, kid

Ed: [muffled] breakfast? [smack] Didn’t remember blackbeard snuck into your bed? Stede: No, I remember. Had to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating again. Also, once again, you’ve processed this very quickly

Ed: Were yee seein’ phantoms? Stede: No more guilt phantoms thank goodness. Was getting sick of those buggers. Ed: Love a good phantom. You seem less tightly wound. Glad you’re phantom free

Stede: Took awhile to realize, but This is where I belong. Ed: No fucking shit

Ed: Speaking of, Y’ know, I’ve thought on it, and I’ve decided I’m tired of being angry and sad and lonely. Fucking sick of it. Already stabbed you, no sense in wasting time acting mad when I know what I want S: And what is that? E: Wanna be liked and kissed and happy.

Stede: Perfectly reasonable things to- Ed: I also want to be co-captains with the gentleman pirate. [choke] I’m lying in your bed with you, stede. Who do you think’ll be kissing me? The swede? Stede: I didn’t want to PRESUME. Is this a new job role for co-captains? Ed: Is now! ‘S why I promoted you. But you’re still on thin fucking ice. Stede: Poor jim. Promoted in less than a day. Ed: Don’t actually tell jim. They’re super pissed at me Stede: oH Ed: Now, onto couch theft, I’m thinkin’-

Stede: You’ve got some- Ed: I get it? Stede: Not quite, just- Oh- fuck it

Ed: Dastardly man. Diabolical. Definitely not gentlemenly

Ed: Fuckin’ missed you!

End

#gentlebeard #blackbonnet #our flag means death #ofmd #my art

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marshmallow-rainbow139 · 10 months

Text

Things Anne Wayne has said since becoming Batmom - Part 2

"Don't come anywhere near me; you stink of Poison Ivy."

"I will give both of you a hundred bucks if you manage to hang out with each other without trying to kill each other."

"We have a perfect training area in the batcave. Why are you butchering my garden?"

"Should we create a secret handshake in case a clone ever appears?"

"Selina is coming! Hide my jewelry!"

"So when the bat signal pops up, you answer immediately, but when I text you to ask what you want for dinner, it takes you 3 to 5 business days to respond!"

"When I said you could bring in stray animals that we could temporarily foster, I didn't mean creatures from another dimension!"

"Alright, what's the deal between Hawkgirl and Green Lantern? Their tension is so thick that not even krypotanite can cut it!"

"So who's your work husband? Jim or Clark?"

"You already have multiple weapons; why do you need a flamethrower?"

"Honey, there's a space ship in our yard!"

"Put a jacket on; you're going to fight Mr. Freeze!"

"Why can't those big villains execute their world domination plans during the summer and not during the school year? I'm running out of excuses to give your teachers!"

"You survived the Joker. You can survive dodgeball."

"Can you ask Clark if we can use the fortitude of solitude? I can't handle this heat anymore!"

"I got so bored that I named the bats. Be careful with Sheila; she bites!"

"Use the stairs like a normal person! You don't need to use the grappling hooks all the time!"

"Did you know Harley broke up with the Joker and is now with Poison Ivy? Good for her!"

"Can I borrow a bat-pen?"

"Don't you dare use the bat voice on me! We're having a serious argument!"

"With the amount of Wayne buried in the backyard, I'm not surprised if this place is haunted."

"Oh, Alfred! I found one of your guns!"

"Can you guys hurry up? You promised to watch Grey's Anatomy with me before patrol!"

"Your ass looks fine today, Bruce. Sorry kids, I forgot the coms were on!"

"I'm sorry? Which of my sons did you take? The little one? Oh, God bless you! I hope you said goodbye to your loved ones!"

"I learn Arabic for two reasons: making Damian comfortable and cussing at Ra's Al Ghul."

"I wish I could gloat at Margie. Yeah, her son won the spelling bee, but mine saved the universe!"

"The Joker's laugh is more sincere than Margie's."

"Duke, I assure you, the t-rex is just a statue."

"Damian, is that your mother on the rooftop? I gave her my number to tell me when she was coming to visit."

"You have so many things on that utility belt but not chapstick for your wife?"

"Oh, thank you, sweetie, I mean Batman!"

"Do I need to speak the opposite of what I mean for Bizarro to understand me?"

"All of my sons are like orange cats. Not one single bit of common sense in their brains."

"I bet Lois doesn't feel anxious when her husband goes on a mission. His only weakness is glow in the dark rock!"

#batman #batfamily #batmom #bruce wayne x oc #oc #anne wayne

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luescris · 3 months

Text

Guys. You guys. Guys.

I don't know what to do with myself right now.

We've been rewatching Trollhunters the past few weeks or so now. We are already on the last four ish eps of the last season. We just got done watching A House Divided. Aka the episode where Jim sacrifices his humanity to turn into a half troll.

For Pete's sake. I genuinely forgot how many emotions not only this show, but that part specifically gets out of me. I was stimming, and crying, and laughing all at once. Because oh my god. the way they did it.

the music. the cinematography. the way jims memories like. responded to when his friends/family was calling to him on the other side of the door. trying to get him to listen. to go back. my heart split into a million pieces.

I've never felt nearly as devastated as that moment. the only show that comes close is Turtles. but Jim's story. Jim's whole entire thing. They did everything so good it's insane. I could go on about this for hours I don't even care if this fandom is basically dead now.

And not only that, not only did i cry again to this episode. but i freaking found the music for that exact scene on freaking Spotify. I'm going to torture myself by listening to it over and over again because it's so just. Full. Y'know?????

I'm going bonkers. off the walls. insane. biting my pillows and wallowing in sorrow. ough

#trollhunters #dreamworks trollhunters #tales of arcadia #toa trollhunters #jim lake jr #trollhunters jim #my stuff #so many unfiltered thoughts. so many things that i want to do with him. i wanna draw i wanna write #curse this creativity blockage #luescris

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t0ast-ghost · 2 months

Text

HIIII Episode 10 (Dagger Of The Mind) time! I made it to ten! Now only… one.. seven… twenty… seventy four episodes to go!

Here’s the review:

- remember kids; when trying to beam something down to a penal colony they have to remove their shields first

- that is a whole ass man.. HOW DID YOU MISS THAT WHOLE ASS MAN

- no but seriously even airports can check for human tissue like- I forgot this was made in the 60s I’m stupid stfu t0ast

- “more like a resort colony” my ass, Kirk

- BONES!!! He just kinda stands on the bridge (for no reason) and stares at what’s happening (at Jim)

- wow two redshirts dead in five minutes

- okay Bones walks over to Spock FOR NO REASON and I’m pretty sure he just wants to bicker

- my name is WHAT my name is WHO my name CHICKACHICKA Van Gelder

- why would destroying one control panel kill the ship?!? Design flaw imo

- “that doesn’t ring true” what are you a truth detector? I thought he was a doctor

- I love Bones “going against” Kirk (he’s smiling the whole damn time) and Spock backing him up

- “oh yeah I’m sending down Dr. Noel” REVEAL SHES A WOMAN OH MY GOD

- why’d he need to bring Spock down to the transporter room? Emotional support? He’d miss his boyfriend?

- Lethe? Isn’t that the river of uhhh- ummm ugmmm… I forgor

- I like whatever was happening with the light in Lethe’s eyes

- awwwe Spock and Bones working together

- STOP CUTTING OFF DR. NOEL

- WHY WOULD YOU STAY THERE OVERNIGHT?!? Kirk would NOT survive a horror movie. He’d be first to die (comment down below)

- McCoy is like “Our boyfriend could be in danger, use your damn mind magic”

- OHHH OKAY I SEE WHY VULANS MEDITATE. The words he speaks to Van Gelder are a lot like being lead through meditation

- I LOBE THIS SCENE! The dialogue from Van Gelder, the movements and prompts from Spock, MCCOYS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS

- Kirk catapulting into danger right after they TOLD HIM NOT TO

- “and now she’s gone” “helen” I thought he was gonna shout or smt so when he just said “helen” it got me

- you know how this would be so much more tragic? If (canonically) Kirk was dating someone else aboard the ship *cough* you know *cough cough* and then the evil doctor implanted the idea he was in love with Dr. Noel and then him having to deal with the idea of loving both her and the other… anyway

- “Kirk to enterprise.. ughhkghjkk”

- He is literally the worst.. girlfailure

- people are too good at hiding in plain sight

- KIRK NOT AFRAID TO PUNCH A BITCH

- she- she just killed a guy.. good for her

- THE FUCKIN- the sitcom ass look Spock gives Jim like “oh really dr Adams did this”

- MCCOY!!! yeah he’s around. HE’S DEAD JIM MOME- oh no “he’s dead, captain” goddamnit Bones

- “can you imagine the mind emptied by that thing. Without even a tormentor” was a line most definitely meant for Spock and Bones but Dr.Noel saying “I understand” reminds me that she is indeed there not just observing but participating

- Bones just causally leaning against the back of his chair

- does he know? Does he even know that most medical officers don’t normally lean like that against your chair?

- OMG I SAW A POST ABOUT THE “it’s hard to believe a man could die of loneliness” “not when he’s sat in that room” AND THEN KIRK LOOKS OVER TO SPOCK AND SMILES

- he’s so surrounded by loved ones bro is beaming

Anyway all in all a good tenth episode!

I made a master list of all my Star Trek tos thought posts :D

#the improper use of a semi colon #Star Trek #star trek the original series #star trek tos #star trek kirk #tos kirk #captain james kirk #star trek spock #tos spock #spock #star trek mccoy #star trek bones #tos mccoy #tos bones #leonard bones mccoy

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greazyfloz · 1 year

Note

1 & 6 from the angst prompt list

hughes!reader and her brothers

Angst: 1. “I told you to leave. Why are you still here?” & 6. “Do you ever listen to yourself?” Hughes!reader fight w/ brothers

Alone

I was the youngest Hughes sibling and the only girl. Being the only girl, you think my brothers with each give me more attention. I was treated like one of the boys, but when it came to my hockey, I was treated differently.

I recently found out that I made the under 18 women’s US national team. Of course the first person I told was my mother and my father and they were both super excited for me.

The under 18 world championship was in Sweden this year. Which happened the week after Luke was in Canada for the world juniors. I had a feeling that I was gonna come second to Luke.

The excitement around my family wore off when most of the excitement with shined back onto Luke as he found out, he was an assistant captain for UMich. There was parties thrown for all three brothers, when they got drafted into the NHL. but once something big happens for me. I just got a good job.

It was a couple days before Quinn and Jack left to go back. And I was sitting in my room alone away from my family. my mother enters into the room and sit on the edge of my bed.

“What’s wrong chicky?” She asked me.

“Nothing get out” I say before turning in my bed, facing the other way.

“Jim, come here” my mother yells for my father and my father soon enters into my room.

“what’s going on?” my father says as he stands at the edge of my bed

“go away” I say again, “both of you“

“Hey watch your attitude.“ my father says.

“I don’t have one I’m trying to sleep”

“Y/n it’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon” my mother says

“can I not have a nap?”

“don’t speak to your mother like that” my father says raising his voice Slightly

I don’t even bother answering him. I just continue to stare out my window until my parents finally leave my room. after they shut my door I hear Quinn ask my mother what’s wrong. My mother responds That maybe Quinn should try talking to me.

My door that opens and Quinn walks in. “ what’s up?” Quinn says, and I ignore him. He makes his way around my bed and crosses his arms as he makes eye contact with me. I groan before turning and looking the other direction.

After I turn, I see Jack and Luke on the other side of my bed. “ what’s up your butt?” Luke then asks.

“oh, my God, will you all get out?!” I yell at my brother and take the pillow I was resting my head on and cover my face with it.

“ why are you acting psycho?“ Jack says. I take the pillow off my face and look at him.

“ I told you to leave why are you still here?“ I said all three brothers

“ because we want to know what’s wrong“ Quinn says

“ why do you guys care what I have to say now?“

“ do you think we don’t care about you?“ Quinn says

“ please Quinn, can you guys all just leave?”

“ no problem” Luke says leaving my room

“ shouldn’t you guys follow? since you’re so proud of Lukey”

“ why do you want attention so bad?” Jack asks

“ I don’t“

“ what’s wrong?“ Quinn presses at me again

“ oh my God Quinn. Jack literally just called me psycho and a drama queen within the first five minutes of being in my room.”

“ well do you ever listen to yourself?” Jack says.

“ yeah, I do because nobody else does around here“ I say, “ now can you leave so I can lock my door and be alone“

“ fine I’ll go hang out with Luke” jack says, leaving the room

“ typical“

“ you know I listen to you, right?” Quinn asks while he sits on my bed.

“ yeah but when some better news comes along, and it’s almost like everybody forgets!” I said, crossing my arms, “I bet everybody forgot I was even going to Sweden or that I play college hockey too”

“ who are you mad at?“ Quinn asked me

“ all of you“

Quinn then leaves the room, Jack and Luke enter moments later.

“Hey, y/n/n. Quinn just talk to us. I’m sorry. I’m proud of you Kid.” Jack says.

“ yeah I’m sorry too” Luke then chimes in, “ everyone super proud of you“

“ I hope you really don’t think that people don’t listen to you. You’re my baby sister I think of you more than I think my brothers.” Jack’s is making me laugh, then coming in and giving me a big hug.

“ yeah how can we not listen to you you’re so annoying” Luke says, making me hit a shoulder and he laughs coming in and giving me a hug next.

“ well Quinn‘s my favourite brother right now” I say, “ He’s the only one that listen to me today”

“ your favourite brother changes every day, I’m okay with quinn being your favourite today” Luke says

#hughes!reader

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ijustreallylovethem · 1 year

Note

Dating jack and having a running joke that Luke has a crush on you

i made this way more dramatic than it needed to be and threw in a little angst 🤭

see “crush” on my masterlist

it was brought up as a joke the first time jack brought you home to meet his family. you were both in high school at the time and his parents invited you over to get to know you a little better. quinn had already moved away so it was just ellen, jim, and luke. you made sure to ask luke about his classes and his friends, and everyone at the table noticed the blush that settled on his cheeks every time you spoke to him. after dinner, you and jack went out for ice cream before he took you home and he brought it up, teasing his younger brother for his little crush.

the next time it came up was at the lake house that summer. jack had invited you to come out for a week and who were you to turn down the offer? you had just graduated high school and with jack projected to go first overall, who knew where he’d be off to at the end of summer. quinn anchored the boat in the middle of a cove and you were immediately standing from your spot and pulling off your cover up. you grabbed a noodle and jumped in, hearing jack teasing luke when you resurfaced.

“still got a little crush on my girlfriend there bud?” you couldn’t see luke from where you floated in the water but after jack jumped in and made his way over to you, you quietly asked him about it. “kid couldn’t take his eyes off you the whole time you were going in,” he laughed, and you pushed his shoulder, telling him to leave his brother alone.

now here you were, three years later, cleaning out the extra room so luke can move in. you yourself had just recently moved in with jack, graduating a semester early and moving out to new jersey to close the distance that had been in your relationship for the past three years. the doorbell rang and you heard jack answer the door, greeting luke. their voices grew closer and you knew jack was leading him to the room you had just finished cleaning.

“hey lukey! can’t believe you’re finally in jersey!”

“y/n… you’re in jersey?” his cheeks flushed pink, and you wondered for a second if he still harbored that crush on you like he did in high school. you brushed it off though, because it had been forever ago since you had heard him teased about it.

“she’s lived here for a few months now dude, did i- oh my god i forgot to tell you.” luke shook his head, setting down the box he was holding.

“it’s fine. it’s your place anyway, why shouldn’t your girlfriend live with you?” he left the room, presumably going to get more of his stuff, and you shared a look with jack.

“someone got something up his ass,” jack whispered and you frowned at him.

“he’s probably just tired from the drive,” you chastised. “help him bring his stuff in while i finish cleaning the rest of the house.” it was an hour later when jack found you in your shared room, folding a load of laundry.

“all of his stuff is in, he’s just putting the rest of it away.” you nodded, matching up a few pairs of socks. “he’s mad that i didn’t tell him you moved in.” you frowned at that, dropping the spare sock back on the bed and looking at jack.

“he doesn’t like that i live here?”

“not necessarily. he just… remember how we used to tease him about having a crush on you?” you nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed. “i’m pretty sure he still likes you.” you were shocked at jacks words. you saw the hughes family pretty often after jack left for jersey, traveling with them for important games, going to the lake house every summer, and going to their house every once in a while when ellen invited you for dinner just to catch up. luke’s little crush had seemed to fade during his junior year, barely a year after you met him. but now jacks saying he’s liked you this whole time?

“are you sure?” jack shrugged, not really knowing what to say. you stood, making your way out of the room and knocking on lukes doorframe. “hey, need help with anything?” he continued to unpack, not even sparing you a glance.

“uh, i think i got it. but thanks.” you watched as he put a stack of shirts into a drawer.

“remember the first time we met? how jack brought me to your house for dinner and kept making fun of you because you would stutter and blush when i spoke to you?” he was silent for a second, then he nodded.

“yeah, i remember.”

“can i ask you something?” you stepped into his room, closing the door behind you.

“you’ve already asked me like three things,” he joked, still refusing to look at you.

“luke, do you still like me?” he froze, and you knew the answer to your question.

“y/n-“

“it’s okay-“

“please don’t tell jack.” he finally looked at you and his eyes were wide and pleading. “things are different now. it’s not all teasing and i think he’d actually kill me if he found out i still liked his girlfriend.”

“i won’t tell him, i promise. but luke, i think you should start trying to move on. me and jack are happy together and i hate to hurt you but-” he sighed.

“i get it, y/n. don’t worry.” you nodded, sending him one last glance before leaving him to finish unpacking. you made your way back to your room to find jack just finishing the load of laundry you had previously been doing.

“so?”

“you’re so wrong. there’s no way he still likes me,” you told jack, who just shook his head.

“i’ll believe it when i see it.” he grabbed the laundry basket, leaving the room to return it to the laundry room, and you took a seat on the bed. luke had told you not to worry, but that was all you could do, feeling like just being around him was hurting him. you sighed, laying back on the comforter. what were you going to do?

#blurb #jack hughes #luke hughes #umich hockey #nhl

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dylan-duke · 5 months

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/dylan-duke/734899498982195200/send-in-thoughts

Write it.

ryleigh smiles as she walks into the kitchen,

"morning!" she says happily,

"hey," jack grumbles into his cereal. ryleigh frowns but hides it by turning to the fridge,

"what are you guys doing today?" she asks hoping to get a more excited response,

"skate with dad then probs go out on the boat," ryleigh bites her lip as she closes the fridge and tears fill her eyes,

"oh," she mumbles, "well i also have ice time, but don't have anything else going on," she takes a deep breath turning towards her second oldest brother,

"sounds good," jack says sipping his coffee.

the whole day continues like this. even when luke, quinn, trevor, cole, and everyone else come down.

not a single person had wished her a happy birthday. ellen and jim had surprised her after her skate, with some cupcakes, but the boys were already gone.

and when she arrived back at the house with the cupcakes there is still no realization so she goes up to her room, and calls rutger in tears,

"happy birthday baby!" he says causing her to sob,

"they forgot rut they all forgot!" she cries.

"oh darling," rutger coos, "what can i do?"

"i dont know," she sobs. rutger sighs,

"how about you get dolled up and we go to detroit? do some shopping and get a nice dinner," ryleigh sniffles,

"you'd do that?" rutger nods,

"of course baby. so go get ready and I'll make my way to you ok?" ryleigh smiles nodding as she wipes her tears and snot,

"thank you rog," rutger blows her a kiss,

"anytime baby girl,"

meanwhile downstairs the boys are devouring the cupcakes ryleigh left on the counter,

"do you feel like were forgetting something?" quinn asks looking at his brothers,

"no?" luke says eyebrows furrowing as he stuffs a cupcake into his mouth. quinn sighs pulling his phone out frowning at it,

"i just feel like something- is- shit fuck," the eldest hughes realizes, "shit it's ryleighs birthday," jack and luke's heads snap up,

"what?" jack asks,

"its her fucking birthday," quinn says again, "we forgot her birthday fuck," he looks at the clock, "fuck and it's to late to do anything. god why didn't she sway anything?" quinn frantically stands and runs upstairs.

where he runs into his sister as she comes down the stairs,

"ry oh my god," ryleigh looks at her oldest brother and shakes her head,

"don't please-" she pleads, "i'm going to spend my birthday with my boyfriend, who actually cares to remember it," she snaps.

"your what?"

"my boyfriend," she says before walking out the door a loud click resounding through the front foyer.

#ryleigh hughes #rutger mcgroarty #jack hughes #quinn hughes #luke hughes #rutger mcgroarty x hughes sister #rutger mcgroarty x ryleigh hughes #rutger x ryleigh

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bruciemilf · 2 years

Text

I so desperately crave a fic where Bruce forgets all about an interview he scheduled with Clark, specifically, with our boys in this portrayal

He's swallowed up by that ginormous red hoodie Jason always forgets at the manor. It's got a soft undertone of beer and pizza clinging to it, and knowing Jay, the chances of that changing are close to none.

It's Bruce's favourite thing to wear.

Below that, Dick's sweatpants have to be snaked tight around his waist. He's wearing Tim's ridiculously soft socks, Batman themed as well, a flock of bats starting from his calf and gathering into his famous cowl on top of his foot.

On his hands, he's sporting two bracelets that Damian and Cassandra asked him to help craft. He accepted, of course, because his little Damian looked astray, eyebrows down and eyes worried, scared of rejection.

They were both terrible at it. Cassandra had a great time. And Bruce's dark green and sunshine gold bracelets pleased Damian greatly.

But he had no time to shower that morning; His ribs were moaning still, every step he took feeling like Bane's brutal, sledgehammer punches, hitting him right in the gut.

And Dick stole all his conditioner, and Steph smuggled his skincare products, exfoliants, bath salts, and everything she could get her grabby little hands on, and gone she was. Tiny fingers, big damage.

But that was fine; He didn't expect anyone today. He'll just scarf some blueberries and yoghurt and gulp down four espressos before burying his nose in Jim's earliest case.

That's what he thought

Before modern day Adonis suddenly emerged I his living room.

This man, he's...He's... he's beauty. That's all Bruce can muster in his flustered mind, brain itself blushing, cheeks hot and soaring with a fierce flush. Which was impossible to miss with his paleness. God.

There you are! Got me scared for a moment there," oh no. He makes deep voices sound cute. Those pearly whites had no mercy on Bruce, neither did that boyish grin, glowing silver and warm. " Thought I'd fall through a secret door and straight into a shark tank. "

Say something. Say something funny, come on, he's joking with you.

" ... Why are you In my house?"

Fuck.

"This man, - Clark, Bruce knows who he is. Out of all the bad things that had to happen today, being surprised by his favorite journalist just had to be one of them, - blinks, some grin cut down, and Bruce curses in his mind.

"Um. Your father let me in. Did you forget,-"

" I forgot you were coming. I, uh. I," he stuttered; He hasn't stuttered since he was 16, and had to pitch that board meeting to a mile long table of greedy, silver artefacts in suits who wanted to snatch his company. " I, - Coffee. You want...Coffee?"

"...Sure. I'd love some."

Was it just Bruce, or did this report carry a note of amusement in those words? Bruce scrambled for the first cupboard he could see, " NO!"

Clark jumped on his feet, making a dash for him behind the kitchen island. Bruce almost choked, because up close, he could notice the buttons and seams on that baby blue plaid shirt fight for their lives. " What's wrong?!"

" We're out of coffee," he hissed, muttering a ' damn it, Tim, I TOLD you to replace it' but no matter. He had to find Clark something else. " Uh... Water? Juice? Do you like orange juice?"

He could see it, the corners of Clark's lips tugging upwards, " Orange juice is my favourite drink. But it's fine, really. I'm here to unbury your deepest darkest secrets, not have lunch," he smiled, then, most likely noticing Bruce simply froze in place, he added, " That was a joke!"

Bruce forced a laugh, " Of course. Why would I have something to hide? I have nothing to hide," Very well, that sounded entirely too suspicious. " I mean, not anything illegal. Just... Secrets. The normal amount."

Clark nodded, endlessly patient, this saint of a man, " I've had my share of that. Don't worry, Mr. Wayne."

" Oh, just Bruce. That's my name."

The taller man smiled, " I'm just going to ask you about your involvement in renovating Arkham and maybe Mr. Grayson's podcast, but that's all. I won't try to fish for information. I don't believe in peer pressure and bullying."

" I know," his mouth spoke without him, " I, uh, I know you. Your journalism, I mean! My youngest enjoys your online interviews. We watch you together. I'm a fan of your writing, thought. It's magnificent. "

Even if Clark blushed to be polite and thanked him quietly, Bruce wanted to dive off a building without a grappling hook.

" Uh... Bruce? You're murdering your orange."

True enough. The fruit was entirely empty in his clenched fist, spilling over his hand and pooling on the floor. Bruce cursed. Slamming the sad, deflated remaining on the counter, he simply said, " I'll cut this now."

" Okay." Nodded Clark, clear, perfect blue eyes fixed on Bruce and his hands. Bruce only prays his fingers won't tremble like his heart is.

He stabs the orange.

It squirts all over his hoodie, and Bruce offers no reaction. It's almost worth it, this pit of mortification slowly, tortuously devouring his body, to see Clark's impressive frame shake with laughter behind his giant hands, goofy glasses crooked on his nose.

" I'm sorry," he sounds as dead as he feels. " The orange has retaliated." That did it; Clark was full on laughing now. Humiliation burned like liquid fire over Bruce's face.

If Dick were here, or Alfred, he'd hide his face into their chests like a shameful child. But neither are there, so all he can do is slowly place the knife on top of marble, and stand there like a statue.

Coming off his high, Clark watches him closely, a speckle of mirth shining on blue. " You know, you're nothing like I thought you'd be. As much as I enjoy this, you should change."

" I'll try. I don't want to be like this, either."

Clark grinned. " I meant your clothes, Bruce."

" ... Yes. I should. I have a large collection of clean clothes. Because I do my laundry regularly. I know how to do laundry."

Why are you still talking?

Then, gone was that angelic, fond grin from Clark's Greek statue of a face. He smiled hotly, almost...Sultry? At Bruce now. Something saucy. Sweat was sticking to his skin. " Do you want me to pick something for you?"

"... Please?" He squeaked.

Twin steps went inside his bedroom, and they didn't come out for a long time.

#batman #battinson #superman #clark kent #superbat #bruce x clark #soft bruce wayne #good dad bruce wayne #dc comics #dcu #jason todd #fluff #writing #my writing #text

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