#None of them have a single braincell

[kosmic-remnant]

“Every time I’m found by you, I get sucker punched in the face with an F in my tests. Just what do you want this time, Constantine”

Au in which Phantom and Constantine are bastard friends, and they hate each other’s luck to get into trouble.

Without even a greeting, the bloke of a man just point backwards with his thumb and said, “Pest. Yours. Not my problem.” just to disappear in a flash of light right after.

Danny groaned as he saw the building somehow both on fire and freezing cold on the walls, “Mark my words you asshole,” the ghost grumbled, “I will make you pay for this,”

.

A full thermos later and a little bit of sightseeing done, Danny too, disappeared into a flash of light, though this time a brightly green one.

With a sigh, he went back to his house. At least the Watchtower was one space.

Bastard.

--

It was a disorienting-nauseous feeling in his gut that made Constantine realize that payback was today. He groaned outwardly, making his cigarette fall to the finely tiled (and glowing, he might add,) floor, which in turn made him groan again.

Accepting his fate, he decided to look up. “Ya got something to call me on, mate?”

Phantom just sat there in his throne, looking bored to death and with the same expression he’s sure he had when he realized that he had to take care of the pests of the Watchtower.

“Welcome to disaster, ya old bastard. I’m here to make you pay,” Phantom said with a roll of his eyes. Looking as bored as he felt.

“Yeah, yeah. Just get it done mate. What happened now, Your Highness?”

“Ghost Duty,”

“-No.”

“You have no option, really. You’re a witness on this shit.”

Constantine groaned, passing a hand on his face as he did so. “Can I smoke at the very least?” he pleaded.

“Not a good idea. Trust me, you don’t want to make this longer by making an ‘offence’ to the judges.”

The magician sighed. Ghost jury duty was the worst. Not only it was long as fuck, it was also filled to the brim with weird rules and shit. “I fucking hate you, you know...”

Phantom just patted him on the back.

"Damned asshole,"

#dp x dc #dc x dp #Bastard Friendship #they have met each other through many years and they always #get each other into some dumb trouble #Both because of each other's bad luck or because they have a single braincell each and they do not share it to make two #Also none of them actually has presented the other to their respective group of friends #they just Assume (tm) the other groups just /knows/ #So when Danny went to the Watchtower it was deserted at Constantine's call #and when Constantine was called they simply assumed that he had submitted to the King's will #hmm maybe I could call this Cursed Friendship

[yeetlegay]

Me brainstorming what to say when I propose to my gf this weekend: “hey baby what if I called u my fiancée haha wouldn’t that be cute”

#it would be it would be SO CUTE #nobody look at me I’ve spent like 500 hours on my notes app this week trying to come up with a single bulletpoint of a script #how the fuck do people do this how the FUCK do people find The Words™️ when none of them are good enough #or worse I come up with The Words but when I actually have to say them I just completely forget English #god god god god god #gonna be making panicked phone calls to like 3 friends and 2 siblings the second she’s in the shower out of earshot tomorrow morning #and one of them better have a working braincell about this bc mine is fucked at this point #personal

[katyspersonal]

When a character has covered eyes in any way but lower side of the face is visible (and especially if they are smiling), it sparks SO much yearning in me. Nothing against eyes (what a BB fan thing to say xD), but this is just... so appealing? Basically if Bloody Crow and Annalise only had upper side of their faces covered, I'd simp. If Micolash had his eyes covered? There would be no survivors

#cringe #*does NOT look at alberich* #*does NOT look at malenia* #*does NOT look at Choir in general* #not being allowed to see someone's eyes just gives the RIGHT sense of mystery and unattainability #because eyes are like expressive and if you can't look in them you like can't positively say what they're thinking #opaque glasses is close second fav too #*certainly did not give my laurence glasses just to make 'anime glow' effect* #why i always have to be cringe on main EXACTLY when i get a new follower or two? #like i must be making a good impression but my single braincell says 'it's time to feel THIRSTY' #like bitch i should look like being a nerd is my only trait I do not have feelings i am not even a human AAAAAA!!!!!!! #*flips the table* #meanwhile Crow reading this being like: oh okay so i can finally win you if i just cover annalise's eyes with- #-that ribbon and not with the whole mask? :eyes emoji: #no crow you will win me if you learn how to draw laurence and brador because of ...... reasons #what does it have to do with this fucking post? NOTHING JUST DO IT LOL!!!!!!! #sdfhdhgsfghds #shitposting #none of my mutuals are online it's time to let it all out

[nerdynikki94]

Aziraphale should be allowed to say 'Fuck' again, a dozen+ times as a treat.... Also because he's going to be surrounded by Angles in Heaven, and they're all absolute dumbasses.

#good omens #aziraphale #don't @ me y'all. Michael & Uriel act smart but those dipshits sent Muriel to check up on Azirphale & Crowley w/o any actual training. #like i love Muriel. They are a sweet ball of sunshine. but they have like 3 braincells & none of them know a single thing about earth. #Azirphale saying Fuck in S1 is easily one of my favorite bits. He should’ve been allowed another in S2. So in S3. he should say it nonstop.

[evilminji]

Okay... so it COULD be because, as a writer, I'm an ASSHOLE to my Characters...

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT'D BE FUNNY?

Danny, innocent, gets YEETED into DC. As ya do. And he's a bit messed up. But! He's a Baby Ancient in the making. Gonna be master of Spaaaaaace(~~~☆!) one day. Very exciting, only slightly relevant.

See, Ectoplasm? Dumb. That's why we need Cores and Brains etc. Never let Ectoplasm decide things. It WILL chose the "technically correct but now the buildings on fire" option EVERY SINGLE TIME. And you are running out of fire extinguishers.

Because it is dumb.

Very, VERY No Brain, Just Goo, Dumb.

And THIS Goo has a life to save. A Halfa too maintain in Peak Performance(tm). Because THIS Goo is VERY smart Goo(according only to itself) and TOTALLY knows what it's doing! Damaged meat bits? Oh that's EASY! You just FIX that! Replace with meat bits! See? It's BRILLIANT Goo. 10 out of 10 stars, me!

Small problem.

The instructions have been damaged.

PANIC.

Wait! No! We got this! We are Very Smart Goo(tm). And have Space Powers. This is FINE. We'll... we'll just FIX the instructions! Hand me a hammer! If we smash enough bits together, it'll sort? Of look right? Close ENOUGH? Yeeeeeah. We're GENIUS Goo~

Use THAT!

But where did they GET their ill begotten DNA? Well OBVIOUSLY the place all the OTHER DNA they had was stored, DUH? Keep up, says the Goo with literally no braincells making horrifying choices for an unconscious man. It's Earth.

As in... the planet.

It's not even HIS planet. It's AN Earth. A Planet CALLED "Earth" that dwells in the DC universe, not his, and is covered with ZERO(0) Fentons but plenty of superhumans and aliens. THAT planet.

The Goo grabbed the Very BESTEST Meat Instructions it could FIND! The Goo is also a collective and did not AGREE on what the "Best" WAS. But it's... okay, no, I can't lie to you, it is NOT fine.

But thankfully it IS stable.

Because Ectoplasm may be dumb and indiscriminate as super-bacteria with a flamethrower, but it is a MASTER at the jigsaw of Life. It can reanimate ANYTHING.

Including the now SINGLE MOST CHIMERAD MAN you've ever SEEN. Who is he related too? YES. His left knee is Kryptonian, the fingers on his right hand are Tameranian, his skin tone has shifted to the most ambiguously multi-ethnic tone imaginable (think that future of humanity mock up, where they combine every ethnicity on the premise that inter-racial marriage will becoming increasingly common up to the point where we all just kinda look averaged out thanks to the ease of travel) because it's trying to do all of them at once and none of them are willing to back down, because all of them got the instructions "Be Skin". He might have Slade Wilson's cheek bones and hair.

Danny wakes up and basicly is half Ectoplasmic Goo, half the extended Super Community.

AND CANT GET BACK HOME TO FIX IT.

Because of course this IS fixable. It's just medical shape-shifting. But without HIS template, undamaged. His body is REFUSING to change from what is OBVIOUSLY the CORRECT form. And he keeps getting clocked as "probably related to me".

With the Fenton Luck kicking in? The parts of him people manage to swab and/or get DNA from? Keep MATCHING them. Danny doesn't know WHO is behind this but-! *spots a giggle child with a cat* !!!!!!

You.

Klarion you little SHIT!

So now he's wearing a face that's BARELY his, running from very determined superhumans who want to parent him, trying to steal enough technology to build a portal. AND vowing to kick the witch boy's ASS.

This ISNT FUNNY, KLARION.

His body is Frankenstein's FEVER DREAM! Every time he gets hurt, it tries to "FIX" itself! He lost a chunk of his should back there and HIS ENTIRE BODY CHANGED SKIN TONES. He's pretty sure if he SITS funny, his teeth might fall out and regrow POINTY! He's handing you over to WALKER you horrible little gremlin child!

Just? Take the "Danny is related to X" and "Danny is sick" and turn them uuuuup. Make EVERYBODY concerned except Danny. This is just another fucked up adventure in a long string of fucked up adventures. Give him his DNA back. If he has to suffer the Fenton Luck then he should AT LEAST get to keep the Fenton "built like a tank"!

*gets hit again*

*is GREEN now for some reason* The fuck?

Garfield, aka Beast Boy: I HAVE A CLONE SON!?

Danny: Zone DAMN IT not another one!

@ailithnight @hdgnj @nerdpoe @the-witchhunter

#tw body horror #dpxdc #dp x dc #dc x dp #dcxdp #dc x dp prompt #danny phantom #never let the Goo drive #chimera au #Danny looks A BIT like everyone #just enough to be suspicious #chaos happens and klarion laughs

[impactedfates]

Gayly crashes inside here/J

Anyways may I request a Jing Yuan with [platonic] bio-child reader.. Who has the most chaotic personality ever [ft sharing the same braincells as Yanqing] thank youuu

— 🫶🏻 Anon with a teddy bear gift 🧸

A/N: THANK YOU FOR THE GIFT, I’LL TREASURE IT FOREVER 🧸 I HOPE YOU’LL LIKE THIS

Genre/Trope: Platonic + Family (JY, You and Yanqing!) + Crack

Format: Bullet Pointed Scenarios/HC

Warnings: None

Extra: Reader is a teen in this // Single Father JY again but he loves his kids // Yanqing will be your younger brother for this // Reader works under Fu Xuan // Not fully proofread // Some mentions of modern day stuff but time is still taken in the HSR Universe

Loveable Headaches - Platonic Dad! Jing Yuan x Reader

Jing Yuan really does love his children, both you and Yanqing...but you two never seem to give him a break do you? From your brother always buying swords to you deciding to dramatically gasp about the future, causing them to be scared when all that happened was that they trip over a pebble the next day...

On a day where he wished he could be sleeping having done all his paperwork (or...most of them) Fu Xuan comes barging in dragging you behind her, glaring at the man. And although making people scared of their future is rather bad when you're a diviner...he can't help but chuckle sometimes Fu Xuan tries to make him lecture you.

Fu Xuan: General Jing Yuan, your kid started laughing when they saw someone's future. Jing Yuan: Is that so? What did they laugh at? Fu Xuan: A poor guy who got jump scared by a ca- Jing Yuan: Wheeze Ah ahem I mean, they did?

When you and Yanqing are hanging out together. It's either Yanqing being the responsible one and leading you out of trouble, or the other way around. Not one time have you two shared a brain cell and thought logically. At rare times, both of you would have no brain cells and Jing Yuan would have a Cloud Knight knocking at his office and bringing the two rascals who scared the trainee knights.

When Mimi first grew up and the family realised she was in fact a lion, you climbed on her back and began riding her around like a horse.

[Name]: Go Mimi go!! Jing Yuan: Sweetie…please get off her. [Name]: What why? D: We're both feline great Jing Yuan: *Trying not to laugh* G-good one…but you're gonna get hurt.

You and Yanqing probably on more than one occasion tried to go into R rated films when you both were younger. Unluckily for you, everyone knows the Generals kid.

The Dozing General loves his naps and sleep but he also loves you!...But if he hears you playing "We Will Rock You" at 3am in the morning with pots and pans one more time-

Honestly you give Fu Xuan a headache too sometimes. We already said you laugh at a divination you give that scares the other person but you also tend to act disgusted, concerned or any negative emotion when reading future moments...this can either lead to you telling them what happened which is usually such a small thing or you not telling them, simply stating "Can't say, ruins the future"

You probably stole a bunch of things from his room, it worked out for a bit as he wasn't sure where everything was going but you revealed yourself as the lil thief when you tried to steal his heavy sword. (It's a sword right? Or smt??)

You made Jing Yuan wear a powerpuff girls outfit once for Halloween. If he was a powerpuff girl or Dr whatever his name was I forgot, is up to you.

Jing Yuan seems like the type of guy to give kids the big chocolate bars for Halloween, so he needs to hide them from you and Yanqing before Halloween is here or else the kids won't have any as you snatched them with your lil brother.

I see that when you and Yanqing were younger, you tried dressing up as each other, wearing wigs and each other's clothing to try and trick Jing Yuan...however, your clothes were too big on Yanqing, and his clothes were too small on you.

Yanqing tried to jump scare you once when you were using the hose for something, needless to say. Yanqing came back in the house absolutely soaked.

Perhaps one day, the two of you dressed up as Jing Yuan, he found it so adorable!! He took so many pictures of the 'Mini Generals'...he may or may not have attempted to take a day off, gesturing to the 'Mini Generals' and how they would do the work.

Fu Xuan: General…they're kids, they're not ready for your job Jing Yuan: Kids! That want to be me, why not train them? Fu Xuan: General Jing Yuan: Ah, no fun Madam Fu, I'm going I'll do my work, I'll do my work.

He questioned if you were a dog in disguise when you were like 5 tbh. Cuz you bit a lot of things, heck he once came into a meeting with you hanging off his arm...by biting him...doesn't hurt him but he did question where you learnt that.

Yanqing was adopted as a kid, when Jing Yuan first came home with the lil guy, and introduced him to you as your younger brother...you tried to make him fly by throwing him off the kitchen counter, to which THANKFULLY Jing Yuan has the quick reflexes to save Yanqing, he scolded you of course. And hey, good thing Jing Yuan did save your brother as you wouldn't have your partner in crime otherwise.

Idk if I made the reader chaotic or not but hopefully this was alrightwfiof.

Sorry for slow updates (I say as if I didn't mention I'd also be concentrated on other things). I'm going to some resort or something for a school tour(?) and apparently it has no wifi/signal, so wish me luck...gotta bond with my classmates.

#honkai star rail #hsr #hsr x reader #hsr x you #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail x you #hsr imagines #Jing Yuan #Yanqing #HSR Jing Yuan #HSR Yanqing #Jing Yuan x Reader #Jing Yuan x You #platonic jing yuan x reader #platonic jing yuan x you #hsr platonic #platonic hsr #🎭 masked fools

[krsnaradhika]

can I ask about what the drama around "palace of illusions" is about and why it's bad?

Hey! Sure thing. Lemme list my problems with the book :-

1) The author presents Karna as some tragic hero compelled to be in the company of Duryodhana who clearly committed multiple murder attempts, went on to sexually harrass his sister-in-law and troubled another woman during the Ghosha yatra. Karna was NOT an outcaste. He was a Suta— meaning one with a Brahmin mother and a Kshatriya father. Adhiratha, Karna's adoptive father, was a wealthy man as he was Bhishma's charioteer. Keep in mind that charioteers used to play important roles in warriors' lives - as advisers, close friends and well-wishers. Krishna was the charioteer of Arjuna. Karna had all the opportunities the Pandavas didnt. He had parents who loved him, while the Pandavas were left halfly orphaned with the death of Pandu and Madri. Veda Vyasa describes Karna as "the trunk of the tree of adharma".

2) The Karna Draupadi ship is bullshit because Karna called the latter a whore during the disrobing sequence as well as presented the idea of "there should be no clothes on servants." Yes, Karna was the one who suggested her public sexual assault. She had blood stains on her garment and was dragged into the court of nefarious men by her hair. People who blame her for the assault inflicted on her are sick and need serious psychological help. You cannot defend attempted rape as one with working braincells.

3) So, shipping a victim with her abuser is not fun y'all. This is not some mentally unstable wattpad dark romance. It's itihāsa. The true history of Bhāratavarsha. Let's draw the line. She was an ekavastraa (meaning a woman in a single cloth, as she was menstruating) during the attempt at disrobing, and the man who called for it shouldn't be hailed. Karna also lied to Parashurama of his caste due to which he got cursed, had an unhealthy obsession with Arjuna and because he wanted to kill him for competition, Drona did not provide him with the knowledge of celestial weapons.

4) It is an ignominy against Lady Draupadi to ship her with anyone apart from her husbands because clearly, the Mahabharata says that she's Indra's wife Shachi while the Pandavas are the cursed five Indras of different kalpas. It is . . . not nice to ship one's wife with another man. It is creepy. Draupadi is one of the panchakanya, one of the five pious women whose names if chanted with sincerity wash off one's sins. She expresses her pride over her husbands multiple times in the text because all of them cherish her to no end. Yudhishthira does not hesitate on the fact that Draupadi is the five brothers' fortune, calls her ‘Kalyani’. Bhima kills Keechaka for her, threatening the revealing of their identities. Arjuna becomes Brihannala and spends most of the time near her during the incognito. In the book, however, the Pandavas do not give a damn about her. Yikes.

5) The book says that Draupadi faced prejudice because of her dark skin. I call bullshit again because Madreya Nakula, Partha Arjuna, Krishnatmika Devi Rukmini according to the Harivamsha, Devi Shri Jambavati (who is said to have a blue lotus like complexion), and lastly Shri Rama and Shri Krishna themselves are dark according to our scriptures. And, none of them faced discrimination because of it. Kanha is in fact called "Bhuvansundar" - the most beautiful one on the earth while Draupadi herself is hailed as one of the most beautiful women canonically.

6) Draupadi was never attracted to Karna. Neither did she pine for him, as the author portrays. Sheesh. Please please, we do whatever with human characters. But with divine ones, you have to be careful with the message you get across. This book is saying that ancient india was casteist and colorist, literally the times when the son of a fisherwoman, Veda Vyasa became a Brahmin and the said fisherwoman went on to become a queen mother of one of the most influential dynasties back then. Krishna was raised a cowherd, though a prince. He went on to become the most erudite diplomats and established Dvaraka, which was en engineering marvel as it was constructed on reclaimed land.

7) According to the author . . . Draupadi felt something more than just friendship for Krishna too. Heavens, I can't do this. Let's normalise a man and a woman being normal friends now, shall we? Krishna is Mahavishnu, he's not supposed to invoke romantic feelings in Draupadi who is Shachi, Indra's wife. Indra and Upendra (Vishnu) are brothers according to a legend. And technically too, since Vāmana was born of Mata Aditi's womb, who Indra's mother and of all the Adityas' too.

#draupadi #Mahabharata #pandavas #karna #the palace of illusions #chitra banerjee divakaruni #reblogging my own post with edits because i missed multiple points in the last version #do not sympathise with abusers ffs

[neuroticbookworm]

FRIENDS. FRIENDS.

Cooking Crush is undoubtedly one of the best shows airing at the moment.

Today's episode gave me so much life that I don't even know where to begin, but I'm gonna try my best to pull two (2) coherent thoughts out of my melting brain.

1. The Three Must-Eat-eers Conflict and Resolution:

Last episode had set up such a perfect conflict that's rarely handled well in any media: the bruised feelings of the single friend when the rest of the gang gets into committed romantic relationships. Most of the time this scenario shows up in media, one party will be framed as selfish and/or jealous. None of that nonsense here; Cooking Crush has always taken the friendship of its characters very seriously, especially Prem, Dynamite and Samsee. Samsee’s feelings were hurt not just because of his own fears of being abandoned by his friends, he was also (rightfully) mad that he ended up as the only friend who was kept out of the loop of knowing that his best friends had boyfriends now. But Prem and Dynamite did not intend to do this, and they were also right to set their own pace in making their relationship public, but it’s just that the string of accidental reveals happened in an order that made Samsee feel like a third-wheeler in his own home, twice over.

Cooking Crush treats its characters with a lot of kindness and empathy and it shows. Prem and Dy wanting to keep their relationships under wraps for the time being is valid. Samsee feeling hurt and lost, and opting out of the competition is valid. This episode begins with the drama of the cooking competition and works its comedy (thank you for the chuckles, wildly gesticulating White Man) and romance (my poor heart swooned all over my rib cage when Ten helped Prem into his chef clothes). And when the time came for the big reconciliation, the show does not sweep away Samee’s very hurt feelings just because Prem and Dy struggled without Samsee for most of the first round of cooking. He apologizes for ditching them and Dy was having none of it.

(Dy, my perfect child, oh how I love you with my entire heart)

Perfect resolution. and a well-earned, most adorable group hug to bookend it. I truly could not be more in love with this show. Or can I?

2. Miscommunication? Nah.

Well, this episode also featured the Annoying Asshole Chef dude who’s determined to pursue Prem even though it is very clear that Prem is not interested and would reject his advances, if only he stuck around long enough to actually get rejected and not run away from him like a goddamn coward. I was furious when he positioned himself as an actual option for Prem to Ten in this episode, and thoroughly enjoyed every moment Ten chose to call him out on his bullshit.

But y’all. The very inappropriate hug. The well-deserved punch to his stupid face. The storm-off. All of it had me very concerned that this is all barrelling towards a classic miscommunication moment.

BUT NO.

THE SHOW SAID THERE WILL BE NO STUPID MISCOMMUNICATION.

NOT IN THIS HOUSE.

My problem with the miscommunication trope is that it ultimately positions the couple we are supposed to be rooting for as a weak team. Honest communication and vulnerability in a new-ish relationship is not easy, and it takes a lot of courage to take that step to be the one to spell out the facts, and trust that the other person likes them well enough to keep an open ear, and believe them when they say a meddling cowardly asshole is trying to get in the way of their relationship. Ten’s bravery was perfectly contrasted with the sliminess of the Annoying Cowardly Chef (I refuse to learn his name, he is not worth my braincells).

Oh but Ten wasn’t done yet!

I absolutely adore how he moves the conversation away from that pesky little pest of a human towards something that matters more: his desire to make things official with Prem. The Annoying Asshole Chef was not the focus of the conversation, Ten and Prem are. And it all culminates in an incredible kiss and a camera swoop that already has a permanent little shrine in my silly little head.

TAKE MY HEART, COOKING CRUSH. TREAT IT WELL.

#cooking crush #tenprem #offgun #off jumpol #gun atthaphan #neo trai #aungpao ochiris #thai bl

[tragedytells-tales]

Brooo I love your writing so much!! It’s literally so great😭 can you write the brothers (or just Lucifer and Satan if that’s too much) with a teen!mc (platonic obv) that is VERY gen z. Like if they’re able to have their phone while in Devildom then they would constantly be talking about stupid internet drama while using strange terms. They know the stuff they say is weird but that just encourages them to be even more unhinged and chaotic. I just thought it’d be funny :) thanks if you decide to do this!!

"I hear you loud and clear! My apologies for this taking so long, I was only able to come up with something for Lucifer and Satan."

--------------------------------------

Lessons in cringe culture

Notes - Teen!MC, Headcanons, Shitpost, comedy just pure comedy

Characters - Feat. Lucifer and Satan

Summary - MC has a few ideas on how to make these ten million years old demons more modern. Are they good ideas? Who knows and who cares

Warnings - Not proof read

TW - None

Lucifer:

[ New word to vocabulary - Gyatt ]

- So MC teaches him gyatt. And not actually on purpose, but not on accident either. They had the thought of saying it out loud around him just to see if it would be a good enough substitute for "god" that they could say it without almost smiting the Avatar.

- They had the thought about a week ago and completely forgot about, but they couldn't just sit there silently when they got jumpscared by the newest update to celestialdrop Valley

"You can now drink mayonnaise."

- Either way he is scared of teenagers of MCs variety because he was sitting in pure silence, minding his whole business while MC did something on their phone, until suddenly they screamed from the top of their lungs

"GYATT DAMN?! LEVI YOU WON'T BEEEEELIVE THIS!"

- Not only did they startle him out of his old ten million years aged bones, and dared to swear in his presence, but then before running to show Levi whatever it was that sparked this outburst MC turned to him and asked

"Are you all good?"

"...Yes? Why would I not be?"

- They give him the most evil of smiles before leaving. The smile was so evil that it sent shivers down his spine, for a human it was a devilish little smile that he knew meant nothing but trouble.

- The things he'd give for a single one of his technically adopted family to be normal ( <-- He literally handpicked everyone in the house, and he's no better but he's also the oldest so )

- He asks MC about it later and gets a proper explanation, only thing is that now he can't ground them for the improper use of language because the use of "gyatt" was surprisingly clever and smart

- Damnit MC, stop getting the braincell!

- He genuinely starts using it in secret whenever he wants to say "goddamn", he dare not utter it around his brothers lest they start bullying him

- Jokes on him, he gets drunk and slips up in the group chat!

Satan:

[ New phrase to vocabulary - It's my turn with the braincell! ]

- Speaking of. One would think that because he reads so many things and has so much knowledge and is technically the youngest of his brothers that he would know at least a bit of funky phrases

- He does. He knows Devildom phrases specifically. But he's also stupidly smart, smart stupid if you will, so he takes things MC sometimes says a tad to literal

- So imagine his surprise when they say "Hey, it's my turn with the braincell. I need it for algebra, hand it over!!!" While studying with their friends

- If you imagined very, very surprised then you are correct

- Aka: he's worried about the amount of concussions MC must've had for them to lost so many brain cells that they need to borrow and take turns with them from others

- He would've also questioned where and how they’re getting the brain cells they’re borrowing if he weren't so concerned in the first place

- He genuinely asks them what kind of brain cells are they missing to see how he can help

- They tell him "My brother in christ, I'm simply jesting about" and now he thinks MC is a sickly Victorian child with a lack of brain cells who got cursed

- Congratulations MC, you've tricked the smartest person in the house, but at what cost?

- The cost of him texting the group chat that MC has lost brain cells and needs to borrow some, that's what. All because they're too busy laughing to properly explain, and now Levi and Belphi are clowning on everyone else because they ALL fell for it too

- The price of living with beings who are over ten million years old is a steep one

- He steals the phrase and instantly starts telling his brothers to borrow brain cells btw, he's adapting

- He's been stealing phrases from MC for a while now, but this one is his favorite

- ( They taught him "fuck this thing, fuck that thing, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool-" last week, they’re not allowed to be friends anymore )

AN - The idea of teaching Lucifer "gyatt" made my lungs hurt, but then the thought of Asmo learning "down bad", Beel learning "bussin", and Mammon learning "L + Ratio + you fell off + fatherless" also made me lose it. I just wasn't sure how to go about that. ( Also thanks for the compliment!!! I hold it ever so gently,,, )

#obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me satan #om lucifer #om satan #obey me shitpost #obey me teen mc #[ 📜 ] requests

[moonssalad]

Am I the only one who is disgusted by seeing how many people actually seriously excuse Rhysands fucked up actions?

I have seen so, SO many people talking about how he hid the truth about Feyres pregnancy from her and always excuse it by saying how he didnt want to stress her out 💀. Or that he was looking for a way to save them before he told her, like he shouldve told her right away. And how he told the IC about it before he even told Feyre and told them to keep their mouths shut too and even worse is that they fucking listened to him, like what the fuck?? And how always in discussions about only Rhysand keeping it from Feyre people always start talking about how Madja didnt tell her either, like dude this is a conversation about what an asshole Rhysand is and not about Madja, keep to the topic! And how people hate on Nesta for telling her, like fucking hell. Ive even seen people say that Rhysand not telling her is AS BAD as Nesta telling her to hurt her or whatever. Its just insane, I think I lose braincells every single time I see posts like those 🤯. Feyre literally says throughout the books multiple times how she hates when people choose for her or dont tell her something because they think it would be too much for her and Rhysand literally keeps one of the most important things from Feyre.

Also what the hell was that bullshit about Amren saying how Rhysand should be High King? Hes literally one of the worst options for it. Bro cant even handle 2/3 of his court 💀. And lets so many people suffer in Illyria and Hewn City even though he has had CENTURIES to change something. Honestly none of the IC even try to change something about the Hewn City, like are you seriously telling me that Mor was the only person who was good in that shithole? Whats even more insane is how Mor doesnt change anything about it when she had LIVED THERE for years and now has the power to do it! And Illyria, Cassian seems to be the only one who is actually trying to make it better even though its not really working. Why the hell cant healers heal wings but can heal someone whos guts are basically spilling out?? Hell why the hell doesnt anyone know about c-section? Just insane. What the hell does Rhysand even do for his court? Just sits on his ass and thinks only about Velaris? Because it seems like that.

And am I the only one who was mad how Rhysand chose to show off Feyre as if she was his plaything in the Hewn City. Like yeah yeah keeping up appearances or whatever but how the hell will they see Feyre seriously after that? I think Feyre was in the Hewn City two times and the second was when she was High Lady and Rhysand got her to sit on the throne after the first time he showed her off as his toy. You cannot convince me that the Hewn City residents take Feyre seriously and its all Rhysands fault.

Talking about keeping appearances, the whole 'mask' thing is so stupid. When someone doubts the IC intentions they have the fucking audacity to be mad about it as if they arent the ones who made sure eveyone thought they were all incredibly evil.

I dont even want to start talking about UTM and how fucked up it was.

People always say that he does things like these because he is 'morally grey' but to me hes just a toxic asshole. You dont write a 'morally grey' character and then excuse every fucked up thing he has done, its just not how it works.

Rhysand is literally the worst MMC ever and its insane how so many people say how wonderful he is, how he is the man of their dreams 💀, fucking worried about yall if you seriously think that.

Feyre should take Nesta, Elain and Nyx and get the fuck out of there because they all deserve so much better than this.

#anti rhysand #anti ic #anti inner circle #pro feyre #pro feyre archeron #pro nesta #pro nesta archeron #pro elain #pro elain archeron #feyre archeron #high lady feyre #high lady of the night court #nesta archeron #elain archeron #they deserve so much better #girls pack your bags #take nyx and leave #anti acotar #anti cassian #anti amren #anti morrigan #anti azriel #anti acosf

[dumbass-duo-showdown]

DUMBASS DUO SHOWDOWN ROUND 1 BATTLE 4

burton guster & shawn spencer (PSYCH) vs Rosencrantz & Guildenstern (Hamlet + Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are dead)

PROPAGANDA UNDER THE CUT

Gus & Shawn

They’ve been friends canonically since at least 3 years old and at the start of the show they’re I wanna say 30 maybe? And yet these two grown men are THE most chaotic idiots (affectionate) in the whole show (and let’s be real anywhere). The entire show in fact hinges on the idea that they’re dumbasses and WILL get into carat shenanigans. Episode examples include the one where they are investigating an alien abduction, the one where they’re looking for big foot, the vampire one, all of these by the way they hundred percent believe to be true until they themselves unwillingly prove otherwise. And maybe the most dumbass moment of all time, when Gus finds his boss dead and instead of calling the cops he gets his dna ALL OVER THE CRIME SCENE, calls Shane to help clean up and Shawn gets HIS DNA ALL OVER THE CRIME SCENE AS WELL!!!! Truly cannot think of a worse reaction to finding a dead body. They’ve been sucking that single brain cell that exists between them dry for over 3 decades now and they show no signs of stopping.

they are such idiots (affectionate) and they can't live without each other

they are. so stupid. both of them can be smart in their own ways but when you put them together the dumb best friends energy is unmatched. they are platonic soulmates pretending that shawn has psychic powers and solve crimes by dicking around and somehow always coming out alive. they accidentally befriend the criminals they’re supposed to be investigating constantly. they’re always one step away from being fired or arrested bc of their dumbassery

the entire show is literally shawn pretending to be a psychic (← dumbass behavior) and gus aiding and abetting him and actively a dumbass as well

If you have seen even a single episode of this show, you know these two fools are the best duo ever. Constantly bantering theough 80s movie references and animal like noises, most often above a dead body, these two bring unique different dummy energy that both brings each other up and builds up their own skills along the way. I will love these two men until the day I die and they deserve an honest chance to be the best dumbass duo of all time!

Rosencrantz & Guildenstern

They have no clue what’s going on and keep trying to figure it out but they keep missing the clues. Rosencrantz keeps echoing Guildenstern (He’s only good in support). They completely miss that they are characters in a tragedy and doomed by the narrative

The OG dumbass duo. Like....these two share one braincel and usually Guildenstern holds it but that makes them none the cleverer.

they literally had a second play written by another person that expanded upon their dumbassery

so like first of all they are one unit. second of all they have silly recorder-related shenaningans. third of all they're doomed by the narrative but they're silly enough to make being doomed by the narrative fun and entertaining

#dumbass duo showdown #round 1 #tumblr tournament #polls #i love polls #tournament #tournament poll #tumblr polls #my polls #fandom poll #fandom bracket #tumblr poll

[arcaenawrites]

Enchanted to meet you

———————

Neuvillette x fem!reader

———————

Another aristocratic party filled with single nobles looking for a partner, but no one has ever caught your eye. That is until you lock eyes with a white-haired stranger and everything else just disappears.

Yes this story is inspired by Taylor Swift’s “enchanted”. Yes I am a big Neuvillette simp. Someone please help me ;-;

———————

———————

Sitting on the edge of your bed, you sigh. Your parents have been set on finding you a suitor of proper noble standing, since you have yet to be wed to someone since you’ve come of age. This has led them to send you to countless parties filled with single nobles just to find a match for you. You however, despised it. None of them could ever understand that you’re not just an object. Men appear to be terrified of women who can think for themselves. That’s probably why you haven’t received a lot of proposals yet. This however, wasn’t the usual type of party. Yes, a lot of single nobles were attending, but it wasn’t specifically a party to mingle. It was to celebrate our archon Focalors, and honor her. It was our way of showing our loyalty to the archon. Usually my parents were the ones attending, but this time they decided to send me in. God, I know their plans.

So here you were, waiting for the maid to come over with the dress your parents prepared for you. Although you disliked the parties, wearing the dresses is something you’ve always quire adored. They tend to make you look like a goddess after all. While waiting for your maid to arrive, you start to wonder what kind of dress your mother has picked out. When the door opened, you gasped. It was absolutely beautiful. It was a pearly white, with blue accents to match the hydro archons’ colors. A beautiful bow on the back had room for your vision, which to no ones surprise is a hydro vision. Your maid helps you into it, and you take a spin. It was absolutely perfect. The maid then finished your hair and makeup, and you once again managed to look like a goddess. The archons should be jealous. Once you were ready, you were guided to the carriage that was waiting to bring you to the palace. Perfect timing, you are punctual as always. 

You were lucky your parents are high ranked nobles, it meant you got to live in the capital and only had to travel 15 minutes by carriage. You preferred the longer rides though: you’d get to see the outside world your parents never allowed you to visit. As you were looking out the window, you saw the familiar fence of the building enter your sight. It was time to put on your mask and mentally prepare you for the party. The archon surely is an experience after all. Then, like clockwork, you arrive and as you show your invitation, you get allowed into the building. You politely thank them, and make your grand entrance. Turning heads as always, you simply make your way to the banquet, deciding the delicacies are the only reason why this is worth it. 

Suddenly a tall man stands behind you, looking at the delicacies you’re enjoying. In your mind you roll your eyes, mentally preparing to reject another proposal.

“Lady Furina truly is a master at picking delicacies, isn’t she?” A gentle, deep voice speaks behind you. You quickly counter his words. “She surely does know how to make a party worth going to.” Your comment makes him smile, and you continue eating the delicacies. “You do not spend your time around the other nobles. Why do you choose not to?” he asks you curiously, a hint of playfulness in his voice. “All they think about is marriage and producing heirs, they lack the braincells needed to converse with me.” you say, amuse in your voice. The playful conversation starts, as you throw around slick remarks at each other. He isn’t like any of the other nobles you’ve met. He is intelligent, maybe a little too intelligent. But you like that, you finally have someone you can converse with properly, who isn’t turned away by your own intelligence. You had no idea who this mysterious man was, but you wanted him. For the first time ever, you were attracted to someone. After a while of conversing, the dancing starts and he asks you to join him for a dance. You agree, and as the dance starts, you find yourself matching him perfectly. You danced around like you have practiced together your entire lives. It left some people staring, even going as far as to stop dancing themselves just to watch the chemistry between the two mystery nobles. Who was this man, you wondered, wishing you could know already.z Sadly, it was a masked ball, so there was no way to find out. That is, until the clock strikes midnight and everyone has to take off their masks.

But like fate designed, about half an hour before midnight, you got the news your father fell ill, and you had to return back immediately. You apologize to your mystery man, and turn to leave. While walking away, you look back at him once more, feeling enchanted as you dance your way to the exit as to not raise suspicion as to where you were going. You exit the party, and enter your carriage. As you are on your ride home, you catch yourself blushing. This mysterious man, who you have only met tonight, already has you in a tight grip. Sadly, you had no way of finding out who he was. Oh, the things you would do to hear that voice again. It was deep, stern, but gentle. It was mysterious, yet familiar. You could almost swear you heard that voice before. But alas, you couldn’t place it. As you arrive home, you rush to your fathers’ side. Though he didn’t look great, the doctor assured you that he would recover, and you had nothing to worry about. And of course, as soon as the talking with the doctor was finished, your parents turned to you and your mother starts speaking. “We know we pulled you away from the party early, we’re sorry for that. If it wasn’t for your father falling ill.. we really hoped you’d find a candidate for marriage today. But alas, I think we’ll have to arrange a marriage for you ourselves. We know you don’t like it, but you have to continue our bloodline and produce an heir.”. Hearing the last sentence, your face turns into one of disgust. “Mom, you know I don’t want that.”. But you knew fighting was pointless. That is, if you still refused to meet anyone. “I met someone at the masked ball. I do not know who he was, but he is the one I wish to marry.”. You say, a stern look on your face. Your mother gasps, and starts asking all about your night while your father simply nods at you. You tell her all about the mysterious, white haired man and how you’ve become absolutely smitten with him. Your mom decides that she’s going to look for the man of your dreams, jumping at any chance to marry you off to some other noble.

The entire night you are left wondering who he was, if he was just as enchanted to meet you as you were to meet him, if he had his eyes on someone or perhaps even was promised to someone already. You wanted him, you needed him. Did he want you too? God, it was 2 am and here you were questioning everything over a man whose name you didn’t even know. Over the course of the next few days, you spent your time fussing around trying to find the man. That is until your parents send you off to the court of Fontaine to witness a trial, and you’re once again dressed all pretty to do some boring noble thing. It supposedly is a pretty big and important trial, something about the disappearances of girls? It made you wonder if it was even safe to go. Regardless of that, you promised your parents you wouldn’t complain anymore as long as they let you look for the mysterious man. You step into the carriage and head to the opera epiclese, and enter the building, looking for your seat. Once everyone is seated, the show begins. Because that’s what these trials are. One big show. Then, the iudex enters and takes his seat. You gasp. The moment you see his eyes, it brings you back to the night of the masked ball. You have to get him this time, you can’t let him go again! So you sit through the trial, unable to pay attention to anything but the iudex. The trial passes, and you rush out hoping to catch him. You wait, and wait, and wait. By now everyone else has left, and a melusine walks up to you. You’re not paying much attention, but she’s basically begging you to go and leave. That is, until someone walks in and asks her if everything is alright. You look up, eyes wide and a bright blush on your face. It’s him.

The moment his eyes meet yours, his posture changes. “It’s.. you..” he says, a hint of disbelief in his voice. You hurriedly stand up and look him straight in the eyes. “I was hoping this day would come.. no one was able to tell me the name of the noble lady I danced with that day, or where she went when she fled.” He smiles with a genuine kindness. Your heart skipped a beat. “I’ve tried looking for you, yet I couldn’t find a single trace.” He admits, and you tell him about the time you spent thinking of him, dreaming of him, trying to find him and the questions you had about him. The two of continue talking for hours, lost in conversation. You lost track of time, and eventually the driver of your carriage stormed past a guarding melusine, angry at you for making him wait this long. The iudex glares at him and sends him home, promising he’ll see you home safely. He takes you out to dinner, dancing, and what is simply the perfect date. Eventually, you walk to the streets of Fontaine together, getting a few weird looks from people. After all, the iudex is rarely seen on the streets. After a while, he takes you to your home. Standing in front of your door, he turns to you. Without thinking, he leans forward and kisses you. Not a second of doubt in your heart, as you kiss him back. He’s everything you’ve ever wanted.

It was then, that he gets on one knee. “Now that I’ve found you again, I refuse to let you go. I was absolutely enchanted to meed you. Will you make me a happy man and be my wife?”

And with your parents watching from the doors, your answer stands.

“Yes.”

———————

Please request more character oneshots istg writing is my coping mechanism rn

#neuvillette #genshin impact #genshin fluff #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin x you #genshin romance #romance #fluff #neuvilette x reader #neuvilette x you

[minthy]

Someone told me Fanon Nightmare gang n Y/n!ed puppet,

sounds cringe, so I did it >:]

None of them have a single braincell

#(for joke purposes only /no shipping plz) #undertale #sans #undertale au #au #bad sanses #killer sans #dust sans #horror sans #puppet sans #marionette sans #nightmare gang #Wohoo

[whereonceiwasfire]

I've had this thought for a bit but haven't quite known how to put it into words, so you're just getting it in nonsensical stream of conciousness fashion I guess, as is tradition. Now let's talk halfas.

I know there are various degrees of "they're not quite human, even in human form" ideas floating around out there, and that stuff is my JAM. Give me a chill in the air when they walk into the room, give me that uncanny valley feeling when they're looking directly at you, give me the eyes that reflect light like a cat's, give me electronics fritzing in their vicinity, give me silent footsteps. I am here for all of it. But I also really love the idea that there's a level of a) how much they embrace the ghost half that factors in, and b) not just gaining ghostly traits, but losing human ones too. Hear me out. A) Vlad is significantly more ghostly than Danny, particularly in his ghost form, right? Blue skin, red eyes, claws, fangs. Like, he's not winning any prizes for subtley, that's all I'm saying. And there are various rationales for this out there too, but for the sake of argument, let's just say it's because he's less resitant to the idea of being a ghost and fights the ghost side of him less. In that case, I love the idea of Vlad being more ghostly just in general. He's not actively suppressing his ghost half, and this bleeds through into his human form, giving him a much creepier vibe than Danny. You maybe couldn't quite put your finger on it, but he's unsettling in a way this fourteen year old dork who's been rambling for 20 minutes about black holes and spagehttification (yes, it's a thing) just isn't. I also am simply trash for giving Vlad sharper teeth, dark circles, eyes that lack that more human warmth, blah, blah, blah, to drive some of that home. None of it is strictly inhuman, but you're definitely getting the impression there's something...wrong with him, where Danny comes across more like your average, definitely-totally-human kid.

B) I looooove the thought that the more ghostly the halfas let themselves become, the more they start losing some of the things that make them human. They need less sleep, they lose their appetite, they have less body heat, their pulse is slower. Maybe some of that human conscience goes silent and those nefarious ghost tendencies start coming out (like, say, a craving for power???) I love this thought so much because this makes the slope even more slippery between Danny (the hero) and Vlad (the villain), which is a *chef's kiss* dynamic. If Danny starts letting some things slide, letting himself lose his humanity just a little bit, embracing his ghostliness to the exlcusion of his human half, giving up some conscience for some power, maybe these other, dormant ghost tendencies could wake up. I mean, we know that stuff is in there, we see it in Dan, there's the implication that the ghost without the human is dangerous, but the thought that you could let one side start to override the other, even while still being a halfa? AND, maybe that's part of the reason Vlad is so cracked? Makes my single braincell feral.

Idk, just some half-baked thoughts because I am procrastinating what I'm supposed to be doing right now. Sorry or you're welcome accordingly LOL.

#danny phantom #danny phantom headcanons #dp #dp headcanons #dp thoughts #vlad masters #vlad headcanons #halfa headcanons #idk man just thinking out loud maybe it doesn't make any sense

[rere9500-18]

What sibling trio name should should they have??

(And don’t say the braincell trio because, as you can see from the photos + video, none of them are the holder of the single brain cell the whole team uses 😭)

#ninjago #ninjago zane #ninjago nya #ninjago lloyd #ninjago siblings #siblings

[mareenavee]

WIP Whenever~

Oh Hello it's ON TIME AGAIN!?

Hey. Anyway time tag ya'll! Are we writing like the wind this week? @paraparadigm, @changelingsandothernonsense, @thequeenofthewinter, @thana-topsy, @kookaburra1701, @oblivions-dawn, @throughtrialbyfire, @polypolymorph, @archangelsunited, @miraakulous-cloud-district, @dirty-bosmer, @gilgamish, @elfinismsarts, @saltymaplesyrup, @inquisition-dragonborn, @snippetsrus, @expended-sleeper, @wildhexe, @rainpebble3, @nuwanders, @sylvienerevarine, @demonablack83, @viss-and-pinegar, @late-nite-scholar, @greyborn2, @skyrim-forever, @rhiannon1199 and YOU yes you if I've forgotten your tag, it's actually HERE, you just can't see it. Tag me back :> Do the thing. Write the words!

So for this week, we have finished the Raven Rock arc and moved on to chapter 31 (of The World on Our Shoulders) and our favorite bean is back getting into a Situation~

More fresh-from-the-braincells content below the cut! Some overlap with Arc things, but some new words, too :>

6th of Sun’s Dawn 4E 202

Athis dodged out of the way as a glass greatsword came crashing down from out of the darkness. He jumped forward and stabbed into the weak spot between plates of glass armor. The Thalmor shrieked and pulled a Heal spell into his hands, greatsword clattering to the ground. Both sounds echoed down the stone passageways. In the distance, Avulstein was shouting something incomprehensible, answered by the shrill death throes of yet another Altmer. He had to move. There was no time to faff around with theatrics. The rest of these n’waah would be converging on them like draugr any second from now.

With a sickening crunch, Athis withdrew his sword. The Thalmor scrambled to press the magic into the wound, to no avail. Blood bubbled up out of his mouth as the light left his eyes, guts pooling inside his armor. Athis frowned and flicked the blood off of his sword as the man slumped forward into the mess of his own viscera. A terrible, inhuman howl answered Thalmor screams, which sent a shiver down his spine. Such was the way it had to be, apparently. So much for sneaking.

If Thorald was still alive, he’d be in the dungeons. That would be below ground, the best Athis could wager. Northwatch keep seemed to spiral in a purposefully confusing pattern, not unlike a Nordic tomb, built backwards and lopsided, prone to collapse. He wondered if that was on purpose, perhaps to keep the doomed from ever finding a way out again. With a quick glance around at the cells, it seemed that was the case here, at least. So many corpses, shattered limbs dangling at odd angles, stored in cells. For what, he didn’t want to know. The Thalmor liked to look proper on the outside, but all he’d ever known of them was darkness.

They’d driven his wife away, after all. Even if that wasn’t the full truth, it was enough for him to focus his fury at them. He’d said it before. He’d strangle the life out of every single one of these bastards with his bare hands if it meant making Skyrim safe for her again. He glanced up at the ceiling once the flash of anger passed, the sound of dragon wings still haunting his waking thoughts. As safe as it could ever be, anyway.

He adjusted his cloak, annoyed at the stains blooming over the fabric. He checked his armor — none of the blood was his, thankfully. He was too fast for them on their best days. He tightened his grip on the Skyforged sword, knit his brow and marched on. The roars and and shrieks above him hinted at exactly the kind of fate these Thalmor had brought down upon themselves when they decided to take Thorald.

Athis would have preferred to get in here and get out without drawing so much attention to themselves, or without bringing the ire of the entire faction onto their shoulders before Thorald was safe. The fights could have come later when they were more prepared and not as outnumbered. But Farkas, being who he was, had shifted with the Moons and the low-burning rage he’d been holding inside for weeks. Aela and Fralia had told him to wait before trying to figure out exactly what had happened — in the end, it was more Civil War stupidity.

The increase in Thalmor activity lately had troubled Athis incessantly. He thought about how odd their encounter on the road home had been before Nyenna had run off. Jarl Balgruuf did his best to keep the roads of Whiterun Hold clear of them, but they crawled now like insects, swarming where they shouldn’t. All this after Tullius had made a point of encroaching on some fort or another. Athis hadn’t paid that much attention. After that, the chaos had started to get more and more uncanny, like inroads were being paved for these bastards.

#MareenaWrites #WIP Whenever #WIP Wednesday #The World on Our Shoulders #Dragonborn and Far-Star Marked #Athis #LDB/Athis #Farkas #Avulstein #Thorald #Skyrim #Skyrim fic #tes #tesblr #elder scrolls #fanficblr #writeblr #writblr #Nyenna