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nokingsonlyfooles · 8 months

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WTYP: The Shandor Building, Part 1 [take 2, the long post vs Tumblr's formatting]

[Do you like the colour of the fanfic? This is long and if you expand it you're gonna get the whole thing, because Tumblr hates you. Don't say I didn't warn you!]

[Beware of strong language, mention of all kinds of death, gore, and Lovecraftian horror.]

Part 1: Hello and Welcome to Shandor Studios (it's weird)

[TRANSCRIBER'S NOTE: The moon was waning and a raven was tapping on my window when I discovered a heretofore unknown tier at the WTYP Patreon page. It was called "Pazuzu" and cost $6.66 USD. It had one listed benefit "bonus bonus episode." I unlocked a single unnumbered bonus episode titled "Ibo Shanor" and subtitled "train bad actually." Judging from the dialogue, it dates to summer 2023. Since it lacked any closed-captioning, I took the liberty of transcribing it, and coping most of the slides for your edification. (Not really, this is a work of fiction.) I have styled Ms. Caldwell-Kelly as "Alice" since she still seems to be using that in podcast land at this time. Please support WTYP!]

[SLIDE: Shandor Studios, an art deco style building with some familiar-looking gargoyles perched on it, and poor JPEG compression, with an inset of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. Captioned: Will the Real Ivo Shandor Please Stand Up?]

JUSTIN ROCZNIAK (R): Hello, and welcome to Well There’s Your Problem, a podcast about engineering disasters with…

LIAM ANDERSON (L) [chanting]: Studio! Studio! Studio!

R: …with slides.

L: Studio! Suck it, Discord!

ALICE CALDWELL-KELLY (A): It’s quite nice, actually. There’s a little break room, and somebody left us one of those edible arrangements, and a paperback Necronomicon…

DEVON (D) [text over slide]: IT WAS ACTUALLY VERY NICE. I HAD MY OWN CONTROL ROOM. BUT IT WAS NOT WORTH IT.

L [distorted, too close to the mic]: My audio sounds amazing! This bonus episode is about Liam’s cool mic!

A [obligingly]: Yay, Liam’s cool mic.

R: It’s made of meat, though.

L: What, my cool mic?

R: No, the edible arrangement in the break room. They’re usually made of fruit, this one is made of meat. Raw meat.

A: Yes, I was wondering if that was an American thing. [laughter] I’ve never been to Massachusetts before!

L: It’s Innsmouth, Alice. Nobody’s ever been to Innsmouth. It doesn’t technically exist.

R: It’s not even on Google Maps.

A: Is it sort of a, er, township? Unincorporated township?

R: It’s more of a, uh, cult.

A: Like an MLM?

L: Like Christianity!

R: Well, a bunch of fish people founded it in the late eighteen hundreds…

L: Fucking fish.

R: …and let’s say they got up to some questionable activities.

A: Anything I should be worried about?

R: Well…

A: I did travel here by interdimensional portal and that’s just a bit… off-putting? It’s very convenient, but…

L: Swimming, having gills…

R: I took the train.

L: Just breathe air, you little shits!

A: Did they not offer you an interdimensional portal, then?

R: No, they did, I just said I’d rather take the train.

A: How was it?

R: Not bad. It was made of meat, though. The train. Smooth ride. Turns out meat is an excellent shock absorber, just not very practical. There was a flock of ravens trying to eat us the whole way.

A: That’s… a bit odd.

L: Brian Phelps.

R: Brian Phelps is made of meat?

L: No, Brian Phelps is a fucking fish. [shouting, too close to mic again] You’re not fooling anyone, Brian! God, I could go for some salami. Is there any salami in the meat bouquet?

R: There is definitely not any salami in the meat bouquet.

L: I’m gonna make myself a sandwich!

[scraping sound, footsteps, door opens and closes]

A: It’s nice having a studio, though.

R: It’s not bad. I like these chairs with the wheels. Good lumbar support. How was the portal?

A: Terrifying, but brief. Very brief. It materialised right under me in the dairy aisle of Tesco’s, then I was in this howling green tunnel for about five seconds, and then I was here. On the one hand, I didn’t have to show my passport or go through security, but on the other hand, I’m just slightly concerned I might have cancer. Or a prion disease. [nervous laugh] Or maybe I’ll turn into a fish person. Did you mean literal fish people?

R: Yes.

A: I suppose… Someone got very lonely and fucked a fish, or…?

R: Yes.

A: What? Are you being serious? What kind of a fish… Do you mean mermaids?

R: No. In fact, mermaids have a notorious design flaw when it comes to sexual congress with us human types. What you’re after, as a lonely sailor, is an animal known as the “reverse-mermaid,” which is widely regarded as a joke, and depicted as the head and torso of a fish, with human legs, and presumably genitalia, underneath… [drawing a reverse-mermaid on the slide, with the mouse, badly] But which is in fact more of an elder god by the name of Dagon, which does indeed have legs and genitalia, but is more of a fully-anthropomorphic monstrous fish. [drawing monstrous legs and feet] He’s a bit larger and taller. Here, I’ll put a “D” for Dagon. [draws arrow] And the rest of him is up there.

A: As a lonely sailor myself, I don’t see how something like that is any more fuckable than a regular fish. Or a manatee. Frankly, I’d rather fuck a manatee. At least it’s a mammal.

R: Yeah, but you’d be violating the Endangered Species Act.

A [laughing]: I’m sorry, aren’t they endangered? We want them to fuck! You told me to save the manatees, well I’m out there doing it! And then I’m going to save the whales!

R: Debatable whether creating a race of half-human, half-manatee hybrids is saving the species…

A: Are you some kind of fucking manatee eugenicist? If the manatee and I are both consenting adults, and we fancy each other, then leave us the fuck alone! This is how evolution works!

R: In the mind of Donald Trump, yes.

[door opening and closing]

D [text over slide]: I COULD EDIT THAT OUT BUT I’M TOO TRAUMATISED AND DRUNK.

L: You guys… Is that supposed to be a fucking fish?

R: No. It’s the legendary reverse-mermaid.

L: Well, I only respect half of it! Here. The meat bouquet started screaming when I cut into it, so I grabbed some doughnuts.

A: Oh, are there doughnuts? The meat bouquet has a way of…

L: You didn’t hear it?

R: The meat bouquet?

A: …of arresting one’s attention…

L [excited]: The soundproofing in here is fucking incredible!

D [text over slide]: IN RETROSPECT, THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A RED FLAG.

A: Out of sheer, morbid curiosity, did the doughnut scream?

L: Doughnuts don’t scream.

R: Do the doughnuts scream in… in the UK?

A: …No, not usually. Perhaps, perhaps on the continent, but not usually in Britain. They’re very stuffy and well-behaved.

L: And transphobic.

A: Of course.

L: Do you want one of these?

A: Er, I rather think… I’d better not eat or drink anything until another portal opens up and sends me home. Just in case this is a Persephone sort of situation…

R: Probably a good idea.

L: Low blood sugar kills, Alice. [muffled, chewing]

R: You’ll wind up married to Hades and having to spend six months out of the year in Massachusetts.

L: I’m spending twelve months out of the year in this studio, I don’t care if it’s in Massachusetts. If I have to, I will marry Hades twice.

R: Nah, you see, that’s not legal in Massachusetts. You’d be in a bigamous relationship with yourself.

L: Well, then one of you has to do it. Daddy needs his new mic. These chairs are awesome too!

[rumbling, squeaking]

A: I’m already in a very committed relationship with the Mothman, actually. We go around collapsing bridges and making appearances just out of camera frame. It’s quite fun.

R: Alice is actually a cryptid wanted across several New England states.

A: Yes, I’d like very much to get back to it, and not get cancer or die! [nervous laughter] Ah, shall we get on with the episode?

L: I’m never leaving this studio. You will pry this microphone from my cold, dead hand.

A: Intros? Did we do intros?

R: It’s a bonus episode, they already know us.

D [text over slide]: HONESTLY IF WE’D JUST DONE THE INTROS, IT WOULD’VE SAVED US A LOT OF TROUBLE.

A: Right…

R: But we do have [news drop] the God Damn News.

Part 2 will be another post, give me a minute and I'll link it...

#wtyp #well there's your problem #ghostbusters #long reads #fanfic #fanfiction #crossover fic #gozer the gozerian #alice caldwell-kelly #liam anderson #justin roczniak #devon #engineering disasters #podcast

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incorrectcuphead · 1 year

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cuphead: "go hang a salami" backward is “i’m a lasagna hog" and that pleases me.

mugman: how did either of those sentences occur naturally for you to realize this?

cuphead: any time you're awake after 2am you fall into another dimension where the gods who never existed bestow upon you forbidden knowledge

ms chalice: what?

mugman: the only thing that concerns me more than your questions are your answers.

#cuphead delicious last course #incorrect cuphead #incorrect quotes #the cuphead show #cuphead #cuphead don’t deal with the devil #mugman #ms chalice #renew the cuphead show

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nickthetoony · 3 days

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MG 1/100 RGM-79 GM (Clara Hart Use)

Pilot lore under the cut.

This lightly customized blue colored GM was the personal unit of Warrant Officer Clara Hart, assigned to her from before the Attack on Jaburo all the way up to the conclusion of the war during Operation Star One. Aside from its blue color scheme this GM was functionally identical to other GM units. As a commander unit, it sported two beam sabers rather than the standard one, which Officer Hart would dual wield in battle against many opponents.

21-Year-Old Clara Hart was born in California and throughout her early childhood developed a fascination with machines, a fascination she would eagerly share with her parents who supported and encouraged her interest in spite of their general ignorance to tech. At age 18 she was accepted into the Berkeley Engineering program and worked her way through an undergraduate degree, a privilege she had earned by largely eschewing social interactions for most of her high school career.

All this would be for nothing however, when Zeon declared war on the Earth Federation and made landfall on Earth with their state of the art Zaku mobile suits, eventually reaching California.

During the war, Hart was drafted into the effort against Zeon initially as a mechanic, helping maintain the tanks and fighter craft of the Federation ground forces. Due to the strong Zeon presence in the continent, Hart’s life became one of extreme stress and pressure, not the least of which due to the death of her father earlier during the invasion.

After the battle of Odessa and Federation Mobile Suits began to retake North America, Clara’s unit was assigned several early production GMs, though the pilot for one of them was unexpectedly killed in a Zeon ambush. Short on manpower with a new pilot not expected to arrive, Clara was forced to sortie in the GM despite her inexperience.

In spite of her lack of confidence and training, Clara proved an adequate MS pilot, particularly excelling in melee combat with a beam saber, and even participated in the defense of Jaburo. During this battle she would earn her title as the “Gouf-Slayer” after fighting four Goufs and destroying three at the cost of heavy damage to her unit. After this battle, Clara would be promoted to Warrant Officer and assigned as the leader of a mobile suit squadron.

Clara and her unit would join the attacks on Solomon and Jaburo aboard the Salamis Class Ship “Bloomington”. It was during this period that Clara’s GM would gain its blue paint scheme, inspired by the Goufs Clara had destroyed back on Jaburo.

Despite Clara’s embarrassment at the color scheme, her squadmates insisted it was good for morale, and moreover the rest of her squad had already adopted the blue color scheme anyway. It was also during this time that Clara would reunite with the Gouf pilot that had escaped her, Sophia Fos, (now piloting a Rick Dom), and striking up a rivalry with her.

At the Battle of A Baoa Qu, Clara performed admirably even against the high performance Gelgoogs, taking advantage of both her GM’s agility and adaptability to survive the battle. It was during this battle that Clara and her squadmates would meet Sophia Fos in combat for the last time, a fight that ended rather anticlimactically after Fos quickly betrayed her squadmates and surrendered, the woman realizing that Zeon was on it’s way out and that there was no more point in fighting.

After the war, despite gaining some limited notoriety for her skills as a pilot, Clara quickly resigned from the Federation Military and completed her engineering education. In 0081, Clara and her mother moved to the Von Braun city on the moon where she gained employment as a designer for mobile construction workers under the Kalvis Heavy Machinery company. The company would eventually be bought out by Anaheim Electronics, and some of its designers (including Clara) poached for a new MS Development branch. During her time here, Clara would meet with Sophia Fos in civilian life this time, the other woman now working as a test pilot for AE. After a turbulent few months of the most dysfunctional courting their coworkers had ever seen, Clara and Sophia would officially (if not publicly) begin a relationship, with Clara cruelly subjecting her mother to the pain of knowing Sophia Fos when the latter woman moved in with them a year later.

(To her dismay, Clara’s mother and Fos would get along quite well.)

During the Gryps War, while neither Clara nor Sophia would officially join with the AEUG, they did contribute to the construction, testing, and fielding of several of the organization's key machines.

Clara Hart was a “neurotic, panicky” woman, wracked with anxiety who nevertheless seemed to be driven by a primal urge to survive. She was often described by her squadmates as being fairly quiet and introverted, though taking her role as a leader with appropriate seriousness and care for those under her command, and becoming deeply saddened at the loss of her comrades in battle.

Her romance with Fos was sparked by an emotional break three years in the making when the more cavalier carefree woman insisted on “loosening her up”, an effort which ended with a fist fight outside a bar where Clara quickly became a sobbing mess in spite of her position both on top off and punching Fos repeatedly in the face, a dam breaking which finally resulted in her seeking therapy and forming a genuine connection to Sophia who was not (as one would expect) now terrified of her.

Clara Hart

Sophia Fos

picrew link

#gundam #gunpla #toy photography #my ocs #universal century #yuri #oc lore

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n4talia-chaparro · 1 year

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<< 1 || next (2) >>

Yeah hello I'm glad I had the opportunity to finish this garbage for once so hopefully I don't screw this up-

Reminder: I will make a next post for Cap cuz I don't wanna make it very long so-

Yippee but first...👇🏻 (1/2??)

Contains- Blood/gore (?), mention of murder (?), abuse???, cringe AU, poor grammar, etc.

🫀 || ꒷꒦︶🩸︶︶꒷꒦︶∪∪︶꒷꒦︶︶🩸︶꒷꒦ || 🫀

₊˚꒰🫁⸝⸝︰ 𝐆𝐏!𝐊𝐫𝐮𝐩𝐩 ┆ ⤿ 🧠 ⌗

✧ ┊• uhh I don't know what to put but he's a silly little bastard.

✧ ┊• He may be 5'8 or almost the same height as the original Krupp. Some of the students say he's bigger than a damn tree but that's not the case. Just a bit bigger or shorter compared to Mr. Meaner/Kenny and Mr. Ree/Toilette (?)

✧ ┊• In case anyone forgot, Krupp in this AU is a manipulative and aggressive person. At first, he might be neutral but eventually, he will slowly show his real colors. No matter what the victim does or says, Krupp will do anything to manipulate, gaslight, and make the victim miserable. Even if he seems "nice" or not, he shouldn't be trusted by a student or staff (especially if they are new to the school)

✧ ┊•His face can change when he's mad (well also snap and get more aggressive than ever.) He then realized that students will be more scared of him so he feels chill keeping the face like that (unless he needs to rest or pretend to be nice so he had to turn his face "normal" without letting no one see his terrifying face.) And goes to his voice too. His voice goes deep or glitchy.

✧ ┊• Krupp is a human in this au- the only reason why his face looks like that is because Melvin accidentally shot him with his new invention so um let me explain instead

Melvin's intention was to make a teacher smarter since the substitute teacher (Jerry) is getting on his nerves and didn't understand why he's working there so he built the "SmartyyChanger200" and decided to show it to his principal.

Krupp like a total fucking idiot he is in the damn show decided to grab it from Melvin's hands and wanted to see if it can heat up anything- Melvin's got mad and tried to get it back- it was like a silly ass tug of war except they were fighting over the invention and pulling it back and forth until it slipped out and Melvin accidentally pressed something that caused the SmartyyChanger2000 to shot his principal in the face. NOTHING bad happened to Krupp, he got unconscious by it, and idk what else. Melvin thought it didn't shoot him so he shrugged it off and left the office to test it on Jerry.

Krupp did NOT turn into a vampire like Jessica, or a random creature (or monster) that happened to some other people like Mr. Fyde and others. He simply woke up and thought he fall asleep on the floor.

And it took him a few weeks to turn him into a villain since his mind or well his "brain" was developing and functioning. And it was before he murder his first victim, Ms. Hurd. (Well I have spoiled the au for y'all)

- his IQ is similar to Melvin's except it's worst than smart. Aggressively smarter than an average staff so far. 🧍‍♀️

✧ ┊• He's a walking red flag ! ! (Pls be aware of that LMFAO💀💀)

✧ ┊• Not only does he change his face (or appearance) he is capable of breaking things. Whether it is wood, bricks, or any sort of material he will get through them just like he did on the 2nd episode of the 1st season 👁👁 and this motherfucker fits on the damn vent. Don't even ask me- um...I don't know how to explain the logic of this one. 🗿

✧ ┊• Unlike the show (well the original Mr. Krupp), this Krupp seems smart and knowledgeable. However, he does everything to avoid getting caught which it was a success for him.

✧ ┊•GP! Krupp has also developed an obsession with murder and cooking stuff. Although he's taking a break from guacamole and salami, he enjoys trying new things and using some of his "special ingredients" for the food. Of course, he even used the ingredients to serve the WHOLE school without letting them know what they are eating is human flesh and mea- OH FUCK I MEAN UM very cool ingredients!! Um..yeah cool....???

Yeah so epic..umm GP!Krupp will always hide the ingredients and keep it a secret without letting a single student or staff know except for Melvin. He is forced to work with Krupp and knows exactly about the "special ingredients". 👁👁💦 and that's how he gets rid of the bodies.

And he does NOT eat human meat. I mean unless he wants to make a trip-tip roast for himself and get it from the body- (and using blood as a silly dip for the French fries who fucking knows -)

꒷︶໑꒦₊꒷꒥︶꒥꒷︶‧₊˚ଓ︶꒷꒷꒦꒥໑꒷੭︶︶꒥

✧ ┊• Although people would call him Benjamin or Benny, he prefers to be called Ben for short. But hey he still doesn't mind being called by his real name or any weird nicknames.

✧ ┊• GP!Krupp still has a soft spot for his nephew, Kipper. Our dear buddy Kipper is UNAWARE of his uncle's gruesome behavior, he simply wanted to visit him and GP!Krupp had to hide some corpses in his cellar and lock it in case his nephew tries to get in without his permission. He does not wanna upset and scare Kipper if he lets him witness the things he had done to the people.

✧ ┊• He hates everything that is around him, why of course just like the original Krupp. He hates children and stuff that is associated with "fun" but there are other things that he hates the most; loud sounds/noises and possums. It's not like he seems like a weakness or anything

✧ ┊• And speaking of weaknesses, he does have some that are strange but maybe silly such as:

- Loud noises? (air horn, kids laughing, giggling, and TV statics.)

- Bee sting

- Anything associated with "cuteness" and "adorable" themes

- Children (from kindergarten to 3rd grade)

"Is he really that scared of children? really?" Not really but when it comes to kids who are in kindergarten, it makes him sick in the stomach and personally scared- and there's a little good example

💕•example: Heidi

You may ask yourself what she has anything to do with this part. Well, you see, since Heidi is very small and childish like the other kids from kindergarten, somehow managed to make GP!Krupp more uncomfortable around the children. Sure, he also wanted to get rid of her to see Harold's reaction, but unfortunately, Heidi makes it more difficult and uneasy for GP!Krupp to kill her. She would also give him some small hitting, kicking, and punches when she's angry at him- soo GP!Krupp would easily give up and ignore her instead of killing her.

꒷︶໑꒦₊꒷꒥︶꒥꒷︶‧₊˚ଓ︶꒷꒷꒦꒥໑꒷੭︶︶꒥

✧ ┊• His relationship with others isn't that bad, some of the relationship (well friends or exes idfk)

- George and Harold: a disaster. He will end up killing them for sure

- Staff members: holy shit, I don't know! Krupp is aware one of them will backstab him and escape

- Toilette & Jerry: a pain in the fucking ass. Krupp seriously wanna fucking kill them so badly mostly Jerry. Jerry is the other reason why Krupp had enough of being patient meanwhile Toilette is a fucking scumbag to Krupp. I mean they have a valid reason to hate his guts but dear lord. Just them fighting seem silly and weird.

- Edith [1st ex]: OHHH....this is getting fire....ummm...- Krupp's 1st relationship wasn't terrible. Edith is kind and sweet but since Krupp fell for Ms. Yewh then they broke up but that doesn't mean they will be friends or anything. They will meet up again except Edith knows exactly what he did after Tara/Ms. Ribble explained the situation um shut.

-Ms. Yewh [2nd ex]: YIKES.. big ass dumpster fire. After breaking up with Edith, he found out Ms. Yewh and Toilette aren't together so uh Krupp took the time to date her for once- weeks or months has passed and they broke up. Oops. Which I don't know if Ms. Yewh will be next dead victim or the alive ex. Who knows. I don't wanna spill the info 💀

- Melvin: oh boy....this poor little bastard...damn... I would say his relationship with him isn't that good, I would say it's very toxic. Krupp ALWAYS sees him as a son to him but he enjoys harming him in the physical, verbal, and emotional ways to get his anger out. Sure Melvin may be an assistant or teacher's pet but he is more than that. A source of entertainment and a punching bag to his principal. cuz that's how his mom (Bernice) treated him when he was a kid and since Krupp sees Melvin like a son and not a student like he used to, probably he would do the same to him, giving Melvin trauma and PTSD on purpose (haha um get it? Mother and son moment? No? Ok, that was too far my bad.)

🧠 || ꒷꒦︶🦴︶︶꒷꒦︶∪∪︶꒷꒦︶︶🦴︶꒷꒦ || 🧠

✧ ┊• He cares about his job, image, and reputation a lot. If a staff member witnes a tragic event and tries to spread the information, GP!Krupp will eliminate the staff. And you may ask how will he do that. Simple MURDER- *COUGH* FUCK *COUGH* - damn too many gory eliminations? Yeah, how unexpected and silly of him.

✧ ┊• He despite Jerry a lot with a burning passion. Even tho he didn't have the chance to kill him but still. He's still thinking about getting rid of him as well once he gets rid of George and Harold.

✧ ┊• SUSSY SUS AMOGU- I MEAN I MEAN. He makes sure to keep everything hidden- ummm he still wants his rule book to be safe so uh yeah he still owns the damn "safe".

✧ ┊• "Fuck you, I can't stop it's so satisfying!!!" -GP!Krupp

✧ ┊•Like I said GP!Krupp would see Melvin as a son and still treats him terribly. But deep down inside he has a soft spot for him as well. Since Melvin is his assistant or his son figure, he always teaches him some stuff in case if GP!Krupp gets himself arrested or ends up disappearing from his life.

Teaching the kid some stuff like:

- how to use the surveillance camera

- drawing symbols and codes (?)

- attacking/harming others

- hunting random people or animal (which went fucking wrong cuz Melvin bit Jessica's arm and ripped her skin from her arm like a fucking animal which made Krupp proud as hell.)

Which of course GP!Krupp doesn't regret doing that, after all he ALWAYS wanted to raise Melvin like he wad his son so he took the whole "Fuck Adoption center" into a whole level and kept Melvin with him without letting hid parents know.

And of course. Sometimes he has to keep his eyes on him but hey! He knows what to do with him when he gets the chance to adopt him in the new way possible- even tho he might end up using him for his gruesome tasks or silly father-and-son moment stuff..👁👁

꒷︶໑꒦₊꒷꒥︶꒥꒷︶‧₊˚ଓ︶꒷꒷꒦꒥໑꒷੭︶︶꒥

✧ ┊• what the dog doi- I MEAN AHEM. GP!Krupp is pan *cough* *cough* or poly

✧ ┊• He makes random codes for fun just to show signs that he's messing with you. Yep he does troll everyone so don't expect him to do something unquestionable.

✧ ┊• "I AM MORE THAN A GOD...A FUCKING MOUNTAIN! HOOGA!"

Goofy ahh move

That's all pls don't cancel me this took me 4 days to make this garbage 🗿🗿 grrahhh-

#tw bl0od #captain underpants #the epic tales of captain underpants #captain underpants au #mr krupp #gp!krupp #cu tbgdotgp au #melvin sneedly #heidi hutchins

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ashenberry · 1 year

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avon is currently in recovery after yesterdays stunt. the dr said his injuries are abundant but hes expected to make a full recovery IF YOU VOTE FOR HIM HERE!!!!!!!!! VOTE FOR AVON CMON YOU WANT TO SO SO SO BAD

[ID: an ms paint drawing of Avon, a brown humanoid deer with dark brown hair and white antlers, nose, and inside of the ears, in a hospital bed. There are flowers to the side and two balloons on the end of the bed. One is green that says get well soon and the other is a long balloon with the word 'salami' on it. end ID]

#this will be happening all week btw so vote for avon

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gray-wednesday · 4 months

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MS (meal swipes) used: I don't remember lol

MS remaining: 16 (failure -_-)

Days Remaining: 0

Things purchased today

Really long meal that spanned from lunch to dinner

1 Falafel and sweet and spicy chicken rice bowl

2 Dr. pepsi

1 Cheese and Salami pretzel

1 Corn Muffin

1 Penne and meatballs

1 Mountain dew

1 Mozzarella chicken pesto sandwich

#Meal swipe diary #Me #My tummy #Sad bc I didn't achieve my goal #But whatever #It happens

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vivid-mandrake · 3 months

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i’d like to introduce….

ms salami sandwich

the newest, and first, addition to the squad! i decided to keep ‘sandwich’ since that’s what all the researchers by relic castle had been calling her, but she seems to like salami a bit extra, so i added that too (please don’t ask about the incident with the old lady).

she definitely has a big personality! i’d say she’s sneaky, but she really isn’t. more bold, honestly. she gets what she wants when she wants it regardless of anyone or anything else (and “it” is usually somebody’s food)

the nurses at the pokemon center checked her over and said she looks healthy, but that i’ll probably need to keep an eye on her weight and be careful not to give her fatty snacks. i figured that would be the case, so i’m glad she’s doing well!

i wasn’t expecting to get a new teammate so soon, but i won’t complain too much! salami seems like she’s gonna be a great addition to the team <3

#pkmn irl

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ask-hannah-blog · 6 months

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Dear Ms. Hannah

I’m a proud Pillow Princess and just a princess in general. Well I got hit with Goblin Fever HARD. I mean I’m a farty green mess now, and loving it.

I’m just such a disgrace. When I go to the club and see a pretty girl curl her nose in disgust around me, I just soak my dirty panties. I’ve been having a lot of fun with a group of goblins I met online. We head to a club, all get rejected by some hottie and then once we’re good and humiliated we just go to town on each others. It’s such gross nasty fun!

BUT!

I know i can’t have fun forever and am looking for a serious partner. I know I’m like genetically destined to end up with an orc, but they’re a little too good at treating me like a useless minion. I’ve tried it, I love it but I’m a princess at heart.

How do I find someone who can treat me like a dirty nasty gobbo and their sweet baby princess? 🥺

- Pretty Princess Pretty Please

Dear Pretty

It’s funny that when people transform they completely forget that as humans they could have multifaceted relationships with people. To answer your question I’ve brought in my good friend Mistress Bubblegum Whip. Bubblegum is a dominatrix and a bimbo, hear to share a little of her experience.

“So yeah! Before I got bimboitized I was a super dommy salami! When I changed I was a total pussy cat who couldn’t even like glare at a cock before choking it down. A total problem because I had a subby boyfriend.

But I got real lucky, despite being a total boot licker he really stepped up and took care of me while I was adjusticating to bimbo stuff. My heart just melts thinking of how he takes care of me.

Then as I got used to being a big dumb hottie he helped me relearn some ass-pecs of our old relationship. And I was like oooooh yeah I did like it when he licked my ugly black boots, it’ll be so much hotter with a pink pair now!

So yeah, now I’m back to being a full time dom. Except in our relationship we’re both switches now. Sometimes I’m his pet and sometimes he’s mine. It’s super hot! And I guess the point is that, like even when we transform we can still be multi… um multi… um it’s like shrek, we can have layers! And so can our relationships! People see me and don’t think I can’t be a dom because I’m all pink and dumb and stuff but then I paddle their booty and they see!

So you don’t have to hook up with a orc if you don’t want to! I say find a pretty princess outfit, pink would be so cute, keep in clean, and take some hot pics in it. Then on social be like ‘who wants to pamper the goblin princess?’ You’ll have cuties cumming to you soon enough! So hot. People treat me like a curiosity at first, but once they meet me they like what I have to offer and they will with you too.”

Thanks to Bubblegum for helping out with that one. You can have both in a relationship, variety is good. We don’t have to define ourselves down to just one thing. You can like being nasty, and getting pampered. Just be open about yourself and express your needs to any would be lovers from the very start!

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aggimaginary · 1 year

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The Bad Guys season 1: Our Own Story (chapter 2) - Give It A Try

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Hey guys, as promised, I got my 2nd chapter exactly 5 days after I posted my 1st chapter. I hope you like this one. This chapter is based on one of my favorite childhood shows.

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Intro

Mr. Wolf: Yeah! I'm bad!

Mr. Snake: You're bad!

Ms. Tarantula: He's bad!

Mr. Hornet: She's bad!

Mr. Piranha: We're bad!

Mr. Shark: Who's bad?

The Bad Guys: Yeah! We're the Bad Guys!

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One morning, Tarantula was tapping the keyboard of her laptop on the table, and Hornet was digging into the upper kitchen cabinet. Piranha was cooking breakfast.

The giant circular vault door opened as Snake yawned, and slithered himself out, "Hey losers, what's for breakfast?"

Tarantula rolled her eyes as she didn't take Snake's insult too personally. She knew how he was as she greeted while laughing, "Aww, good morning to you too, Mr. Grumpypants."

Hornet flew out from the cabinet while carrying a box of fruit loops cereal, "I got some sugary cereal right here."

"I thought you always eat healthy," Piranha said, who was just below the hornet.

"Yeah, well, I need some sugar. Besides, sugar isn't meat after all," Hornet chuckled.

Snake went to the fridge and opened it. He was looking for something for breakfast, but when his eyes wandered inside the fridge, what he was looking for was not there, "Wha—" He scanned through the fridge again to see if he was dreaming, but was saddened by the cold, hard reality: there was 100% no meat in the fridge, "What the—!" He pulled the upper part of the fridge open to search for more, but there was no meat at all, "Aah!" Snake screamed as he turned to his 3 friends, "We've been robbed!"

On cue, Hornet flew down, and put the box of cereal down on the counter, into the room, "Robbed."

Piranha rushed towards Snake, and in front of the fridge, "What did they take"?

Snake replied frantically, "Everything! My, my, my- my crispy bacon, my juicy succulent ham, my tasty turkey, my salty, savory salami!"

Snake opened a drawer in the middle of the fridge and gasped again, "They even took my pulled pork!" He covered his eyes with his tail to weep silently, "What kind of criminal steals a snake's pulled pork?!"

"Sounds like the work of a…'pork'ster," Piranha snickered thinking his joke was funny as Tarantula and Hornet joined in the laughter.

"That is not funny! I need to call Wolf!" Snake scowled as he slithered in the direction of Wolf's room.

Tarantula then commented, "Okay, you know, uh, try SVU! The 'Salami Victims Unit'!"

The trio broke into laughter again

"I don't know. If we wait too long, it's gonna be a cold cuts case!" Hornet added as the trio once again were laughing.

Snake, who was completely unamused, pointed at them with his tail, and said, "Whatever this is, not helping!" Just then, Wolf came out of his room, fixing up his suit, as Snake sighed in relief, "Wolf! Finally, you're here. Listen, all of the meat is gone from the fridge!"

What?" Wolf ran towards the fridge, and opened it to see if there was any meat, but there was none, "Looks like we've run out of meat."

"Good thing," Hornet mumbled smilingly.

Snake was now checking the guinea pig cage, and it was empty too, "And I don't have my guinea pig left!"

"You ate your last guinea pig 4 days ago," Wolf reminded

"I need to eat meat! I need to!" Snake hyperventilated in panic as he slithered all over the place.

Hornet followed him around the room, and fluttered in front of Snake to calm him down, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, Snake, there's a lot of food here you can eat besides meat. Why don't you just eat vegetables?"

Snake groaned in disgust, "What am I? You?!"

Hornet rolled his eyes.

Then, Piranha cut in for the conversation while chopping up vegetables, "You know, Hornet has a point. As you know, I also eat vegetables."

"I thought you love to eat meat? The only thing left on your plate were bones," Tarantula pointed.

"I know. Meat is part of my diet, but I also eat plants. I mean, why else do I keep chopping these carrots, celery, and cucumbers here?" Piranha showed his half-chopped vegetables before blushing, "Well, cucumber is for my buddy!" He admitted before throwing a slice of cucumber in the air, "Think fast, Hornet!"

Hornet quickly flew towards the cucumber, and caught it with his mouth before eating it, "Thanks, bud!" Hornet flew down, and high-fived Piranha.

"Well, I'm not like you guys. Snakes only eat meat, and that is it! I guess I'll just wait until any of you would go to the grocery and buy me some meat," Snake said.

Wolf then checked the calendar at the storage room door, "Our next grocery schedule will be next week."

"Next week?! I'll starve!" Snake cried and dropped himself to the floor.

Hornet flew towards Snake, and landed on his shirt while patting him, "Sorry, Snake. Guess you have to get through the week without meat."

Snake got up and said, "You don't understand. If I go hungry like this, I'll… I'll…" He felt something that was taking over his mind and body as he tried to hold it in, but then, he could as Snake hissed loudly, and had his sharp teeth shown at Hornet, ready to attack him.

"Aaahh!" Hornet screamed as he was frozen in place, and embraced himself

"Snake, no!" Wolf, Piranha, and Tarantula yelled.

Snake immediately snapped out of it, and realized his predatory instincts were shown at Hornet, one of his friends, "Sorry, sorry. That's just instincts, not a joke," Just then, he turned to see the cat, grooming itself on his kitty bed, "Ah! Finally!"

Snake hissed, showing his sharp teeth once again, and ready to pounce at the cat.

"Snake!" Wolf hurriedly picked up the cat to protect it from Snake eating it.

"Arrgh!" Snake realized it happened again. He wanted to eat the cat, but his best friend prevented him from doing it. He then stared at the cat in Wolf's arms, and it licked his nose. Snake was uncomfortable with the cat licking his nose like that, "I think I hate you."

Hornet was still shivering in fear about Snake's predatory instincts, but Snake was still his friend, and he has no reason to be afraid of him as Hornet flew behind Snake who turned to face him, "Hey, in the meantime, why don't you try some vegetables?"

Snake groaned frustratingly, "I told you, I don't eat vegetables or any plant-based food! I just need to eat meat!"

"But you need to eat something. I'll get you something to eat. I have vegetables for you," Hornet flew to the fridge to get ingredients, and put them all in a bowl before mixing them together.

"Let me rephrase that again: Snakes really only eat meat."

"Now I hope you'll like this."

Hornet brought a bowl of vegetable salad and started singing.

Hornet: I made a veggie salad!

"No thank you, Hornet," Snake said while looking away.

Hornet: In a bowl of leafy greens!

Snake took a sniff, and commented, "Smells rather bitter."

Hornet: I made it fresh this morning!

"Very kind of you…," Snake stated.

Hornet: Topped with veggies light and lean!

"Delicious, if one likes that sort of thing, I'm sure," Snake muttered sarcastically.

Hornet: Give it a try! Why not give it a try? You gotta learn to unblock that flavor wedge If you're used to eating meat right out of the fridge!

Give it a try! And for dessert, there's apple pie! Before you say tut-tut You oughta know what?

You gotta give it a try!

Just then, Snake lost his senses again as his predatory instincts showed. He hissed at Hornet, who screamed and flew away, and Snake gave chase. Wolf, Piranha, and Tarantula chased after Snake to stop him from attempting to eat Hornet.

Later, it's Piranha's turn to give Snake something to eat without meat.

"Seems to me if the snake won't eat, you can't make him. Perhaps he can go days, maybe weeks, without food," Piranha said before Snake went all predator again, and hissed at the fish, who braced himself, but Snake was able to control himself, and backed off. Piranha then continued the song.

Piranha: Would you like a little Marraquetas? Picked it up this very morning! And can you avoid this though? To refuse a drink called Api Morado?

And then! Sopa de Maní! Mama's recipe, oh my! You oughta give it a try!

Snake's instincts were shown once again as he hissed at Piranha, and pounced at him, but Piranha ran off, and Snake gave chase across the room.

Just then, Shark came out of his room to witness the chase.

"What was that?" he asked.

"That was Snake. There's no meat left," Hornet explained.

"Oh, I know what he needs," Shark rushed to the kitchen to make his own food for Snake.

Shark: How about a little strawberry, cream cheese and tangerine sandwich?

While he was singing, Shark made a big mess around the kitchen, and Piranha was checking around, "Shark!"

Shark: Oh, what a sandwich!

"My kitchen!" Piranha yelled, but a small tangerine hit his face, knocking him backward. Shark was already finished making his sandwich.

Shark: On some very nice white bread! Did I mention it's a strawberry, cream cheese, and tangerine sandwich? On some very nice white bread? You oughta give it a try!

Piranha scoffed while holding his dish, "Hmph. If he won't eat my dish or Hornet's salad, what makes you think he'll eat that?"

"Well, Piranha, why not let him give it a try?" Hornet smiled as the trio began to sing their portions of their song in harmony.

(Hornet: Give it a try!) (Piranha: Would you like a little Marraquetas?) (Shark: How's about a little strawberry)

(Hornet: Why not give it a try?) (Piranha: Picked it up this very morning!) (Shark: cream cheese)

(Hornet: You gotta learn to unblock that flavor wedge) (Piranha: And can you avoid this though?) (Shark: and tangerine sandwich? Oh, what a sandwich!)

(Hornet: If you're used to eating meat right out of the fridge!) (Piranha: To refuse a drink called Api Morado?) (Shark: On some very nice white bread!)

(Hornet: Give it a try! And for dessert, there's apple pie!) (Piranha: And then! Sopa de Maní!) (Shark: Did I mention it's a strawberry, cream cheese, and tangerine sandwich?)

(Hornet: Before you say tut-tut. You oughta know what?) (Piranha: Mama's recipe, oh my!) (Shark: On some very nice white bread?)

Shark, Piranha & Hornet: You oughta give it a try!

"But do you have any meat?" Snake asked, but the rest of the crew shook their heads "no."

Shark, Piranha & Hornet: You oughta give it a try!

After the song, Snake got really annoyed that three of his friends forced him to try their food that he didn't like, and he still wanted to eat meat, "Oh, I appreciate your concern, friends, but I believe I shall just wait for my meat. I'll be in my room."

He slithered from the table, and headed towards his bedroom.

"Snake, come on. You need to eat something else. You need it. Please, let us help." Wolf pleaded. He just wanted to help his friends from starvation until grocery day.

"You bet I need help," Snake turned around to face Wolf, but got hallucinated when he saw Wolf as a giant steak, and showed his instincts again, "WE NEED GRAVY, AND PLENTY OF IT!"

Wolf was frozen in fear as Snake pounced at him to eat him, but Shark, Piranha, Tarantula, and Hornet quickly pushed Snake away from the frozen Wolf before things could get even weirder.

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Later, 5 of the Bad Guys tied Snake on his bed with ropes to keep him still from attacking anyone in their hideout with his predatory snake instincts.

"Okay, maybe not meat. Ooh, you know what'd be fun? Let's all go out for waffles!" Snake shouted hysterically, "Hornet, you like waffles, don't you?!"

"More than life itself," Hornet admitted.

"We have to talk in private," Tarantula said.

As the rest of the boys agreed, they went out of Snake's room, and closed it without turning to handle, avoiding locking the door since Snake was the only one who can unlock the vault door.

When they were now outside, Tarantula continued her conversation, "We must help Snake."

"I can't believe I'm about to say this, but we gotta figure out a way to make Snake eat," Shark said.

"This calls for a plan," Wolf added as everyone nodded in agreement.

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At night, while Snake was still tied up, sleeping on his bed, his vault door slowly opened as Wolf, Shark, Piranha, Tarantula, and Hornet snuck in very quietly with bunny ear headbands on their heads

"Exactly, why do we disguise like this?" Tarantula asked.

"We're dust bunnies, Webs," Wolf clarified.

"Snake doesn't sweep up very often, so we thought we'd fit right in," Piranha explained.

Tarantula finally understood the purpose of the disguise as she nodded, "Ooohh, right, right, right."

Hornet then shushed them to prevent them from making loud noises, "Quiet, everybody, we don't want Snake to…"

Suddenly, Snake rose up from his bed, still had his eyes closed as he was sleep-talking, "What the…? Who goes there?! Is that you, Wolf?

The rest of the Bad Guys hid behind Snake's footboard as Wolf stammered, "Um… uh, no. Nobody here but us dust bunnies."

Snake was actually falling for that trick as he groaned exhaustingly, "Oh. It must be the starvation that makes me hear dust bunnies talking. I should just… back to sleep," he yawned before falling his head back on his pillow, and fell asleep.

Seeing that Snake fell back to sleep, the Bad Guys sighed in relief.

"Phew! That was a close one!" Shark sighed loudly.

Piranha was startled by Shark's loud voice as he shushed him, "Sshhh!"

"Sorry, sorry, sorry," Shark apologized quietly, until he heard a loud hissing sound. He was scared as he jumped in the air, and fell on top of Piranha in fear, "Ah! What was that?"

"That was Snake," Piranha replied as he pushed Shark off of him, "Now get your big butt off me, and start looking for someplace to put our food on."

"What?" Shark asked confusingly.

Hornet facepalmed as he explained, "What Piranha means is you guys have to put your food somewhere for Snake to see and eat when he wakes up."

"Maybe that nightstand next to him would do," Tarantula pointed to the nightstand just right next to Snake. It has enough space on top other than a lamp.

"Perfect, and he could taste food air," Wolf said as 4 of his friends stared at him confusingly, "He told me that."

"Alright, I got my soup," Piranha took out a plate of his pasta dish.

"But Snake said he didn't like your soup, that's why I got my veggie salad," Hornet showed a plastic container of vegetable salad.

"He didn't eat your salad either. Hard to imagine. I say we give the reptile some sandwiches," Shark suggested while holding his sandwich.

"Oh, he'll never eat those," Piranha pointed.

"Set it in your soup," Shark snapped.

Shark, Piranha, and Hornet started to argue quietly over which food they have to put next to Snake when he woke up.

However, Wolf couldn't take that three of his friends started arguing over food as he put himself between the three of them,

"Okay, okay, you three that's enough! If you three can't sort it out, let's just put all of them here!" Wolf grabbed all three dishes, and silently placed them on Snake's nightstand, "There, happy?!" he turned to Shark, Piranha, and Hornet, who nodded in guilt, "Good, now let's get out of here before Snake finds out we're here, and let's see what will happen in the morning."

When Wolf headed straight towards the door, out of Snake's room, Tarantula followed him. Shark, Piranha, and Hornet stayed behind, only to glance in guilt at each other. They felt guilty for arguing with each other over which food Snake should eat. They only wanted to help their friend. Though they didn't wanna say it out loud, it was called "a silent apology", as they smiled at each other, gesturing that they were good, and the trio sneakily headed out of the room before closing the door.

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The next morning, the Bad Guys were now at the table, waiting for Snake to come out of his room, and possibly eat them if he didn't eat the three dishes his friends left for him.

"I'm pretty sure Snake would hate our food," Shark assumed

"Yeah, and he will eat all of us today," Hornet prepared for the worst as he showered himself with salt.

Suddenly, the handle of the vault door turned, and Snake opened the door while holding a plate of food as he took a bite, "Hey guys, what's going on?"

"Oh, we're just preparing for our fate when you eat us," Piranha said as he took a pepper milled, and showered himself with pepper. The pepper also caused him to sneeze, "Achoo!"

"Eat you? Don't be silly. I can't eat my friends. I already got food here. It's crunchy, savory, and tangy."

"Oh yes, yes, yes, I guess you…" Piranha was cut off as he looked back at Snake while he was holding and eating the food, "Wait, is that…?"

"Aren't those our food?" Hornet observed the dish Snake just ate was all three of his, Shark, and Piranha's food.

Shark gasped, "The food must have got it all mixed up," but then, he noticed Snake was eating them happily, "But, look. He likes it!"

Tarantula sighed, "Well, all I can say is thank goodness that Snake finally ate something."

Hornet smiled proudly, "Yes, Snake, good for you! You tried something new that is not meat."

"Oh, yes I did, didn't I? And you know, it wasn't so bad after all," Snake admitted. Even though Snake liked the new kind of food, he just didn't like how wrong he was that he would only eat meat, "I hate it when I'm wrong."

Wolf smirked as he thought of something good, "You know, since you finally tried meatless food, we should go to the store to buy meat again to celebrate."

The rest of the Bad Guys cheered excitingly.

"Yeah, let's go, amigos!" Piranha said as he and the crew got up from their seats, and were about to move out to the elevator.

"Not just yet, guys. I need to finish this first. It's quite good actually," Snake continued eating as he slithered to the table with the plate on his tail, and placed it on the table, "Would any of you want some?"

"No thank you!" Wolf, Shark, Piranha, Tarantula, and Hornet hesitantly exclaimed.

"Oh come on. You never know until you try," Snake smirked, reminding Shark, Piranha, and Hornet's lesson.

The five just shrugged as Snake had a point about trying new things with food. All 6 Bad Guys got themselves a fork, and ate their food together. Snake didn't like sharing much as he still admitted that he didn't like it, but when it came to his friends, he loved sharing, just with them.

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Credits: Sam Rockwell - Mr. Wolf Marc Maron - Mr. Snake Craig Robinson - Mr. Shark Anthony Ramos - Mr. Piranha Awkwafina - Ms. Tarantula Rhenzy Feliz - Mr. Hornet

Author I.M. Rally

Co-Author MasterClass60

So you're a tough guy it really rough guy Just can't get enough guy Chest always so puffed guy I'm that bad type Make your mama sad type Make your girlfriend mad tight Might seduce your dad type

I'm the bad guy

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I realized that I forgot to put the credits in the first chapter, so as of this chapter, I'm putting credits after every chapter

The end credit song was the chorus of Billie Eilish, Bad Guy.

This chapter was referenced from The Book of Pooh: The Spice Of Life.

Snake went into panic for discovering there was no meat left, and Piranha, Tarantula, and Hornet teased with food puns were referenced from Raven's Home: The Big Sammich.

Snake almost attempted to eat Wolf while the rest of the Bad Guys held him back was referenced of Teen Titans: Crash

The song "Give It A Try" doesn't belong to me. The song in this chapter is a parody song from the original one. In this song, Pirnaha introduced his country's dishes. - A marraqueta, also known as pan francés is a Wheat Bread roll - Api morado (purple api) is made from purple corn. - Sopa De Mani is a peanut soup, made of ground peanuts, seasoned with vegetable broth, cooked with macaroni noodles, and topped with fried potatoes and parsley. It is one of the favorite dishes of Bolivia. It is so popular, that it can be found throughout the country.

Special thanks to MasterClass60 for suggesting for Shark's food suggestion for Snake.

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kamreadsandrecs · 9 months

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By Jessica Roy

It’s 90 degrees outside, and you’re too hot and exhausted from a long day of work to cobble together a proper meal. Luckily you’re home by yourself — no kids, no roommates, no partners — and therefore can eat whatever you want for dinner, without having to consider the food preferences or nutrition needs of others. You grab a bag of popcorn, a glass of wine, some bread, some cheese and a hunk of chocolate, and settle into the couch for a night of snacking and watching TV. Is there anything more glorious? Welcome to “girl dinner.”

According to TikTok, where the trend has more than 30 million views, girl dinner is akin to an aesthetically pleasing Lunchable: an artfully arranged pile of snacks that, when consumed in high enough volume, constitutes a meal. Or so the thinking goes.

Typical girl dinners may include some kind of fruit, a block of cheddar, sliced salami, a sleeve of fancy crackers and a dish of olives. Girl dinner is “both chaotic and filling,” as one TikTok commenter put it, requiring none of the forethought, cooking or plating demanded by an actual meal. As another commenter observed: It’s “no preparation just vibes.”

The trend started when Olivia Maher, a showrunner’s assistant currently out of work because of the writers’ strike, posted a video on TikTok this spring extolling the virtues of a humble, medieval-peasant-inspired assemblage that she called “girl dinner.”

“I think the concept of girl dinner came to me while I was on a hot girl walk with another female friend of mine,” Ms. Maher, 28, saidfrom her apartment in Los Angeles.

She said she and her friend had been discussing the unmatched perfection of bread and cheese as a meal unto itself, as simple as it is satisfying. “We love eating that way, and it feels like such a girl dinner because we do it when our boyfriends aren’t around and we don’t have to have what’s a ‘typical dinner’ — essentially, with a protein and a veggie and a starch,” Ms. Maher said.

She decided to debut the phrase on TikTok. “This is my dinner,” Ms. Maher says in the video, flipping her phone camera to display her spread: hunks of butter and cheese, part of a baguette, some grapes and pickles, and a glass of red wine. “I call this girl dinner.” Since she posted it in May, the 15-second clip has been watched more than a million times.

Alana Laverty, a 28-year-old food content creator in London who immediately embraced the phrase, said she started making what she called “snack plates” for dinner during summers when it was too hot to even consider turning on a stove.

“I feel like cooking full meals just gets so repetitive and exhausting, especially in the summer,” Ms. Laverty said. “When dinner came around, we would just pick up one main cheese or one main protein and get a fresh loaf of bread and throw it all on the plate. It’s a really normal way of eating for me now.”

Ms. Laverty started posting her beautifully arranged snack plates on TikTok last year. When the girl dinner trend began to take off, she recalled, “I was like, ‘I have never resonated with something more.’”

“There was this feeling of, ‘Oh my God, I’m not the only one,’” Ms. Laverty said. “I love anything that celebrates something women are all doing, but we don’t all know that we’re doing it.”

Some have pointed out that the grazing isn’t enough satisfy their own appetites and, in some cases, could be masking disordered eating.

“‘Girl dinner’ more like girl please go to the doctor you have an ED,” one user wrote on TikTok.

But adherents are quick to note that girl dinners are not about deprivation. Women have long been programmed to see food as the enemy, but the girl dinner trend is about embracing the simple joy of snacks as meals. Girl dinner represents a conscious choice to opt out of the tyranny of cooking and doing the dishes. It’s also, conveniently, the answer to fridge clean out day.

And though the trend may sound suspiciously like tapas, or mezze, or a charcuterie board, girl dinner differs in one key way: Unlike a Super Bowl-esque spread of appetizers, girl dinner is most frequently made by one person, for the consumption and enjoyment of one person.

“I remember trying to be a meal prepper and I just couldn’t do it,” Ms. Laverty said. “You could go through the effort of it, but why not open up a bunch of jars and satisfy your taste senses the same way?”

Seema Rao, an art historian in Cleveland, sees a historical connection between girl dinner and entrenched gender norms that dictate women prepare a hearty meal for their husbands every evening.

“The idea of cooking dinner was historically women’s work in the home,” said Ms. Rao, 49. “What I like about girl dinner is it takes away the idea that you have to cook anything: You just literally put it together. So you go from a position where the production of the food is what makes it good and makes you a valid woman, to the idea that having food is what makes you a valid woman.”

At least one nutritionist has given her seal of approval to the trend. Kathrine Kofoed, 27, a nutritionist and health coach in Portland, Ore., suggested that part of the reason girl dinner was being so widely embraced was its affirmation of the way women already eat: “It’s a pleasant departure from diet culture, and from all these rigid expectations of what food should be.”

“I see so many more issues for people with overeating and restricting and then perhaps bingeing, or just having this very complicated and often disordered relationship with food,” Ms. Kofoed said, pointing to the benefits of finding “more joy and pleasure in the meals we’re eating.”

Perhaps the most important thing about girl dinner is that you don’t have to be a girl to enjoy it.

“My friends and I were joking that it’s girl dinner, but anyone can have it,” Ms. Maher said. “But it’s for the girls, gays and theys.”

You may be wondering what, by contrast, “boy dinner” may look like. “Go to your local supermarket at 6:30 p.m. and stand behind a single man and see what’s inside of his basket,” the comedian Brian Lee observed on TikTok. “Frozen pizza, deli meats, potato chips, no vegetables.”

For Ms. Maher, it’s less about the content of the meal than the feeling around it. “The girl dinner is a giddy experience,” she said. “You could be having the slice of frozen pizza, but you’ve also got maybe a glass of wine and some grapes to go with it. And you’re just so pleased with yourself. You’re like, ‘I barely worked for this and it feels like an indulgence.’ That’s what makes it girl dinner.”

#food #internet

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kammartinez · 9 months

Text

By Jessica Roy

“I think the concept of girl dinner came to me while I was on a hot girl walk with another female friend of mine,” Ms. Maher, 28, saidfrom her apartment in Los Angeles.

Some have pointed out that the grazing isn’t enough satisfy their own appetites and, in some cases, could be masking disordered eating.

“‘Girl dinner’ more like girl please go to the doctor you have an ED,” one user wrote on TikTok.

Seema Rao, an art historian in Cleveland, sees a historical connection between girl dinner and entrenched gender norms that dictate women prepare a hearty meal for their husbands every evening.

Perhaps the most important thing about girl dinner is that you don’t have to be a girl to enjoy it.

“My friends and I were joking that it’s girl dinner, but anyone can have it,” Ms. Maher said. “But it’s for the girls, gays and theys.”

#food #internet

0 notes

kenresearchcompany · 1 year

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3 Key Insights on Competitive Landscape in the Global Plant-based Meat Market: Ken Research

Country-Niche Players Constitute ~70% Despite the Presence of about ~300 Competitors, finds a Recent Market Study on the Global Plant-based Meat Market

A food item prepared from vegetarian or vegan components and consumed in place of meat is referred to as a meat alternative or meat substitute, also known as plant-based meat. Meat substitutes often mimic the texture, look, flavor, or chemical properties of particular varieties of meat.

Ken Research shares 3 key insights on this high-opportunity market from its latest research study.

Regional Players Hold Around 45% of the Market Share Followed by the Global Players Holding ~30% of the Market Share

A comprehensive competitive analysis conducted during the Research Study found that the Global Plant-based Meat Market is competitive with ~300 players which include globally diversified players, and regional players, as well as a large number of country-niche players having their niche in Plant-based Meat alternatives.

According to the research, the country-niche players held the dominant position in the market in 2021, in terms of the market share with about ~45% followed by regional players which account for ~30% of the market share.

Global Players have a Diverse Presence Across Different End-User Industries Promoting Market Growth.

With numerous global corporations and small producers operating their companies through a variety of products and a vast distribution network, the market is considerably competitive by nature. From product manufacturing to final product distribution to multiple places, the enterprises in the sector have a high degree of integration.

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Key players have a significant presence in various food products like burgers patties, sausages, strips & nuggets, and various others. Not just key players but also emerging players are expanding in different industries with Plant-based Meat products and are also involved in strategies like collaborations and technological development to compete in the industry.

In October 2022, Licious introduced the "UnCrave" line of plant-based meats, which includes protein-rich vegetarian "chicken" and "muttan" seekh kebabs. Currently, the business is also selling an introductory single-serve pack for Rs 99. The ready-to-cook foods are guaranteed to be free of trans fat, artificial preservatives, and the flavor enhancer monosodium glutamate (MSG). The products have a shelf life of 12 to 14 days and require 8 minutes to cook.

In September 2022, German supermarket chain REWE now has 50 stores with service counters that sell vegan products. Veggie substitutes for meat, sausage, cheese, and fish are available at the service counters. For instance, vegan steak, vegan BBQ skewers, vegan deli salads, vegan liver sausage, various matured cheese substitutes, vegan salami, and more.

Increased Adoption of Plant-Based Meat in Various Parts of the World leading to Major Industry-Wide Developments, Acquisitions, and Deal-Wins

In October 2022, through Allana Consumer Products, the plant-based meat brand Beyond Meat entered the Indian market. Through this alliance, Beyond Meat's assortment of plant-based meat products, including Beyond sausage, Beyond burger, and others, will be distributed by Allana in the country.

In October 2022, to increase client, reach and roll out new product options, Shaka Harry, a Global Plant-Based Meat Market company joined hands with Indian Cricketer MS Dhoni to promote plant-based meat products in India. The change occurs three months after Better Bite Ventures, Blue Horizon, and Panthera Peak Ventures led a $2 million seed fundraising round for Shaka Harry. According to the firm, it presently provides monthly services to more than 30,000 subscribers in 10 cities.

In September 2021, With the production of vegan substitutes for meat, eggs, and dairy by food-tech startups and companies, India entered the US market for smart proteins. One such business, Greenest Foods, transported the first shipment of plant-based meat products from the western Indian state of Gujarat to the United States.

Key Topics Covered in the Report

Snapshot of the Global Plant-based Meat Market

Industry Value Chain and Ecosystem Analysis

Market size and Segmentation of the Global Plant-based Meat Market

Historic Growth of the Overall Global Plant-based Meat Market and Segments

Competition Scenario of the Market and Key Developments of Competitors

Porter’s 5 Forces Analysis of the Global Plant-based Meat Market

Overview, Product Offerings, and SWOT Analysis of Key Competitors

COVID-19 Impact on the Overall Global Plant-based Meat Market

Future Market Forecast and Growth Rates of the Total Global Plant-based Meat Market and by Segments

Market Size of Source / Type Segments with Historical CAGR and Future Forecasts

Analysis of the Plant-based Meat Market in Major Regions

Major Production / Consumption Hubs in the Major Regions

Major Country-wise Historic and Future Market Growth Rates of the Total Market and Segments

Overview of Notable Emerging Competitor Companies within Each Major Country

Major Players Mentioned in the Report

Beyond Meat

Impossible Foods Inc.

Starbucks Corporation

Tofurky

Kraft Foods, Inc.

Lightlife Foods, Inc

Maple Leaf Foods

Sunfed

VBites Foods Limited

Trader Joe's

Ojah B.V.

Notable Emerging Companies Mentioned in the Report

Daring Foo Daring Foods Inc.

ICL Food Specialties

Burke Corporation.

Plant & Bean

Vivera

Key Target Audience – Organizations and Entities Who Can Benefit by Subscribing This Report

Plant-Based Meat Manufacturers

FMCG Companies

HoReCa

Ghost Kitchen Operators

Food Safety Authorities

Advertising Companies

F&B Marketing Agencies

Dietary Supplement manufacturers

F&B Research Institutes

Entrepreneurs in Vegan Food Industry

Government Departments for Food Standards

Online Retail Platforms

Time Period Captured in the Report

Historical Period: 2017-2021

Forecast Period: 2022E-2028F

For more information on the research report, refer to the below link:

Global Plant-based Meat Market Size, Segments, Outlook, and Revenue Forecast 2022-2028: Ken Research

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