#Mothers day gifts 2021

[caesium-55]

—seven days. [ vii ]

pairing: max verstappen x manager! reader.

summary: as the third time world champion, max verstappen's manager, you function on the belief that whatever max verstappen wanted, max verstappen shall get. but this time, after four years of working as his manager, you can't give him what he wants anymore and that was to stay.

author's note: that's it folks. welcome to the end. peace out (my hand is hurting like a bitch) NOT EDITED NOT BETA READ EXCUSE THE MISTAKES

tags: @whatamidoingwithmylife-ramdom @eugene-emt-roe @bellezaycafe @barnestatic @theseerbetweenus @wcnorris @notyouraveragemochii @lpab @vildetry06 @a-beaverhausen @formula1mount @loloekie @alucardsdaddyissues @juky-ps @cassianswh0reeee @devotedlycrookeddonut @amberpanda99 @supermaxv1 @evie-119 @spideylovin @harianaswhore @formulaal @landorris @onecojg @leclercdream @vicurious28 @c-losur3 @spookystitchery @0710khj @strollnstroll @justab-eautifulmess @ssrcsm i hope i didn't forget anyone

masterlist.

max: ANSWER ME

max: [NAME] I SWEAR TO GOD

max: I’LL FLY TO TEXAS RIGHT NOW I SWEAR

max: THIS IS ALL FUN AND GAMES FOR YOU ISNT IT

max: YOU FUCK ME AND THEN YOU LEAVE

max: YOU'RE ALL FUCKING THE SAME ALWAYS LEAVING ME

max: FUCK YOU [NAME]

max: TALK TO ME YOU COWARD

max: EXPLAIN YOURSELF

max: IM GOING INSANE HERE

Max has visited your apartment a total of two times since he’s given you the keys. The first time—Max remembers it was in early January 2020. You held a housewarming party disguised as a little lunch get-together as a thank-you for his gift. Daniel and him as well as two of your former roommates, Max recognizes them as Julia and Kendall from the PR team, are the only ones invited. You cooked pasta. Your mother’s recipe, you claimed. It easily became one of Max’s favorite dishes in the world and he requests you to cook it from time to time.

The second time, Max remembers going there again after the Monaco Grand Prix 2021. It’s been only a week after your breakup with Leo and four races before the incident with the Hamilton fan in Silverstone. The team holds a dinner to celebrate Max taking P1 and usually, you’re present in these types of things—the after parties and team dinners and all forms of team celebrations in general because you like celebrations but you're nowhere to be found.

Max finishes dinner quickly and excuses himself to Horner. He grabs a beer and drives himself to your apartment, because he knows you’re definitely not staying in the hotel with the team.

When you’re sad, you tend to hide away. It's an annoying habit. You make it your career to dig your nose into everyone’s problem—Max’s most especially—and provide everyone with the help you can offer. It's your love language, Max thinks, to be insanely helpful to everyone but the moment that the places switch and you’re the one who needs help, you run away because you refuse to bother everyone else with your problems despite the amount of people who are willing to return the favor you gave them in the past. It is very hypocritical of you.

He knocks on your door. Four slow knocks followed by three quick ones, so you’ll know it's him. It's an established pattern, a system that works for both of you. You shout for him to wait and Max does so, observing the details of the woodwork in front of him as he waits patiently for you. You have a very nice door.

You open the door. Max’s brows raised slightly at the sight of you. You're still in your Red Bull polo shirt but instead of the pencil skirt you were wearing during the race, you wore short shorts instead. Black, fitted, and they stop a little above your mid-thighs. You're barefoot, too. No YSL heels in sight.

Max turns into a lovely shade of pink. You don't notice it.

You have long legs despite being 5’5” only, which gives off the illusion that you’re very tall when you're actually not. Your body ratio consists of seventy-five percent legs and twenty-five percent upper body. You have lean legs. It's full of childhood scars—thin white lines that are barely noticeable because of how old they are. You have well-built calves and dainty ankles, which look weird but also look right, and your feet are veiny, jagged lines of green blue on skin. Max thinks it's because you wear heels every day.

“Somethin’ wrong, man?” your voice sounds nasal, hoarse, and deep at the same time. Your eyes and nose are red and Max knows full well that you’ve been crying over Leo again and yet you carry yourself as if you're fine, standing in front of him with your shoulders straightened and your tone professional.

Max never liked the bitterness that washes over him whenever he sees you with Leo. But at that moment, he’ll rather endure the bitterness that chokes him until he thinks he’s about to pass out if that makes you alright, if that makes you stop crying.

“I have beer.”

It's a lame thing to say. He should have said something better. He should have asked if you’re alright, should have asked why you were crying, should have asked if there's anything you need him to do just so you’ll feel better. But his mind blanks and he just thrusted the beer forward.

You smile, shaking your head. You take the beer from his hands gratefully, “I have pasta. Wanna go in?”

It's a fair trade. You love beer. He loves your pasta. And so, he entered your apartment.

He faces your door for the third time in 2023. A million thoughts run around his brain per second as his eyes train on the wood patterns of your front door. Dread pools in his stomach as he holds the door knob. He only holds it, not twisting it and pushing it open just yet.

Max is stalling. He knows that. He shouldn't be stalling. He knows that, too.

He dreads what's waiting for him on the other side of the door. He can hear your voice in the back of his skull, saying, “Pussy. You risk your life and drive a rocket ship for a livin’ and you’re afraid of openin’ a damn door?”

Max takes a deep breath and opens the door. Silence and emptiness greets him.

Your apartment has always been bare. You refuse to buy carpets, curtains, houseplants, decorative furnishings or anything that can make your loft apartment seem like someone actually lives there.

(“It's expensive here,” you said.

“I’ll pay,” Max offered.

“No,” you shook your head. “I’ll just bring something from home.”

You never did.)

Max’s feet lead him to your living room. Dust accumulates on top of your glass coffee table and couch. Max remembers them coming along when he bought the apartment. You never got them changed.

His brows furrowed when his eyes landed on the familiar looking box that sits atop the coffee table. He strides towards it, head tilting to read the little pink sticky note attached to it. It reads: Sorry Max, I can't steal more from Kelly.

Max’s entire world crumbles down. He opens the shoe box and sees the shoe, arranged carefully in place.

He hurriedly reaches for the folder next to it and reads the writings inside.

Max, I know you’d be the one who’d find this one day. By that time, I’ll be in Texas already. I don't know if I’d have told you that I resigned already. If I didn't, that's because I’m a pussy. Sorry.

Anyways, I will say this as straightforwardly as I can because I think I had been a pussy long enough.

I resigned, Max. I won't be your manager by 2024.

Max keeps re-reading the last two sentences just to make sure he’s reading it correctly.

I resigned, Max. I won't be your manager.

I resigned, Max.

resigned.

Max hurls the shoe box and it zooms in the air and hits the wall. He fists his hair and pulls. A scream erupts in his throat. The neighbors are going to file a noise complaint but Max cannot bring himself to care. He’s the one whose heart is breaking here.

He grabs the folder. Max feels something fall on his foot. He looks down.

A beaded bracelet. Navy blue and red—the color of Red Bull. There are three white beads in the bracelet and on those three white beads are the letters M and V—his initials—and the number 1—his current number.

Max drops on his knees. He picks up the little thing with trembling hands. He brings the bracelet to his chest and Max falls apart. This time, you’re not here to hold him together.

max: hey im planning to visit the US

max: do you think you can show me around?

Logan Sargeant is a good driver. That's a given. It's his profession. But the way he drives; it's making Max sleepy.

“So….” Logan begins awkwardly. “I’m assuming you're visiting Texas because of [Name].”

Max nods, “Yeah.”

“You're not mad at her, are you?” Logan asks. “For resigning?”

“She told you?”

So you told the American boy but not him? Max cannot help but be offended now.

“Well, I kinda assumed? Liam mentioned it to the other day, who heard the news from his cousin.”

Max’s brows furrow.

“Lawson?”

“Yes, Lawson.”

Max remembers the kid all too well. Liam Lawson has overtaken him in Singapore after all. It's embarrassing. Watch out, Max, you teased him. Liam’s out to get you.

“Liam probably heard it from Leo.”

“Leo?”

Logan is mentioning too many names. Well, it’s just two but two is still many for his brain to comprehend right now.

“Yeah, Leo and Liam are cousins.”

Max pauses.

“Leo and [Name] still talk so I guess [Name] told Leo, who must have mentioned it to Liam, who then mentioned it in the groupchat with me and Osc—are you okay?”

Max tries his hardest not to scream.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he says, voice tight. “I’m fine. How far are we from Austin?”

They drive past a sign that says “Welcome to Austin.”

“Well, it looks like we’ve just arrived.”

Max is once again offended that Logan knows where you live while he doesn't. Vista Del Pueblo, Logan tells him the name of the place as they hop off the car. It's funny how close you lived from the Circuit of the Americas. No wonder you always requested to be home after the Austin GP before flying off to the next city.

The two-storey yellow and red brick house is empty. Despite that, it looks like a perfect picture of a happy childhood home. The backyard and the patio is wide. Beside the driveway stands an olden tree. Below the tree is a reclining chair that looks like it has gone through a dust storm and a thousand rains.

“It’s empty,” Max announces. Logan nods.

“Yeah.”

Logan ends up approaching an old woman in the neighboring house who was sweeping dust off her porch and asks her if she knows the [Last Name] family’s whereabouts.

“They haven't returned home since Christmas,” she replies. “Everyone in the neighborhood tried contacting them but no one got through. Ever since Julio died… It's like the entire family followed after him.”

Max and Logan stiffen, shocked at the news that's just been revealed.

Julio died….?

Max needs to find you. Urgently. He needs to see if you're okay.

The sun retires for the night and Max decides that it's time for Logan and him to retire as well. Logan drives them to a hotel and Max pays for two rooms despite Logan insisting that he can pay for his own. They grab dinner at the hotel restaurant, in a private area that Max paid for.

“You’re not angry at her, aren't you?” Logan asks for the second time that day. His plate is half empty. Meanwhile, Max’s plate is barely touched. His appetite significantly decreased. He keeps thinking about you, worried about how you're coping with Julio’s death. You are never the best person when it comes to dealing with pain. Physical pain, you can handle. You’re barely fazed when you burn your hand in the oven, when you hit your hip at the corner of the table, when you accidentally get scratches and you don't even notice it until someone points out the blood that terrifyingly drips down your arm. Max can still remember how you dealt with your breakup with Leo. All those nights crying, the unhealthy fixation in work so you won't have any space feeling human emotions, the moments where you disconnect with reality that Max has to pull you out of many times. The death of a father is a million times worse than a breakup. Max imagines a thousand scenarios in his mind. He needs to be with you right now. He needs to make sure you're alright.

“I hope you're not. You obviously are but I still hope you're not,” Logan continues. “She was always going to leave, you know? She told me in January. She told me that she needs to—

Max accidentally throws the glass of water he was holding. It falls onto the floor. The sound of shattering glass echoes throughout the room. Logan stares at Max with his eyes wide. A cleaning crew comes in a hurry and cleans it up. Max doesn't apologize, he only says, “send me the bill later” and sends the crew out. He turns to Logan.

“She needs to what?”

“You're angry.”

You reminded me, Max said in his mind.

“And?” Max raises his brow. “She needs to what?”

Logan lets out a shaky breath, “She needs to become an engineer or else she’ll never forgive herself.”

Manager. Engineer. What's so damn special about that engineering position anyway? Why are you so hell bent on leaving Max? Red Bull pays you more than an engineer. Hell, Max is even willing to raise your salary to the same amount as half of his annual salary in Red Bull if it keeps you from leaving him. Max is willing to pay for your student loans and refund everything you paid to USC during your college years.

Max pinches the bridge of his nose, letting out a deep sigh. He’s feeling too many emotions all at once.

“I think it's best if you talk to Leo?” Logan suggests. Max appreciates that he’s trying to be helpful but mentioning Leo brings nothing but more anger in him. Fucking Leo. Why does he know where you are? He’s your fucking ex for god’s sake. Why are you even still talking to your ex? “He’s close with [Name]. I think he can help you.”

Max contemplates.

He doesn't want to ask fucking Leo.

And he’s not that desperate to seek help from him.

Logan writes his number on a table napkin. Max pockets it.

After dinner, Max sits inside his hotel room. He dials the number Logan gave him because if he’ll tell you where you are, he can swallow his pride for a day. It takes three redials and two rings before Leo answers.

“Hello?”

“Hi, is this Leo Stark?”

“Yes, this is he. May I ask who’s calling?”

“It’s Max Verstappen.”

Silence.

“Hello, are you still there?”

Max hears a loud crash followed by a series and a whole lot of ruffling, “Sorry about that. Do you mind repeating that?”

“Max Verstappen.”

“Ah, so I’m not hearing things. I thought I was hearing things. Sorry. Do you wish to talk to James Vowles? I can transfer the call to him.”

“No,” Max says. “I want to talk to you. It's about [Name].”

“Oh.” A pause. “You're going to ask me where she is, aren't you?”

“You're smart.”

“Well, mate, too bad. I’m afraid I can’t tell you.”

“You can’t?”

“I can’t,” he echoes. “I mean I can but I won’t.”

“So you know where she is.” It's not a question. Something bitter rears its ugly head in his stomach. His bitterness and anger now dwarf his worry for you in size. Fuck Logan for reminding him that you always wanted to leave. Fuck Leo for knowing where you are.

“I’m going to ask again and you better give me the answer I want. Where is she?”

“The answer you want?” Leo clicks his tongue. “It’s always what you want. Have you considered what she wants? Does [Name] even want you to find her?”

“You don't know what you're talking about—”

“I do,” Leo interrupts and the way he sounds so sure of himself aggravates Max. “I do, mate. Believe it or not.”

“I see what's happening here,” Max sneers. “I’ve heard you and [Name] broke up because she was prioritizing me over you. Is this it? Are you doing this out of petty jealousy?”

Leo sighs, “You’re making this about you again.”

Max opens his mouth to retort but Leo cuts him off, “Let me get this straight with you, mate. When we were still dating, not once have I been jealous of you. I understood that she works for you and that she has to put you first in certain situations. After all, you’re her job. I’m just the home she returns to after work.”

Max’s jaw clenches. Leo was her home. It was the truth no matter how much Max hated it. Leo does not stop there.

“I have no issue with her focusing on you. The only problem I have with it is her tendency to focus more on you than herself. If you come to her at a very vulnerable time, especially now, there’s a chance that she’s going to focus on you again. She deals with grief in a very unhealthy way and I don't want her to do that. Not when she needs to properly grieve for her father.”

Leo sighs again.

“So please, mate, just this once. Think about what she needs right now and it’s not you.”

You don't need Max.

But Max needs you.

That is one of the most painful truths he’s ever been given.

“She’ll come back. She always does. It may take months. Years, even. Just… Let her grieve and let her pick herself up. There are people who don't want help because they need to do it themselves or else it won't feel fulfilling. [Name] is no different. Also, I’ll be honest with you, mate. I don't want you coming to her before she achieves her dreams. You’re so used to [Name] giving you everything you want that you forgot that she, too, is someone who needs and wants and dreams. She just wanted to be an engineer.”

“And how is this my fault?”

“You knew what she wanted. You agreed to help her achieve it. You didn't allow her to move to Renault. You told her that you’ll ask your team principal after you win and you did win but you didn't keep your end of the bargain.”

“I—”

“Who are you to control her dreams? If you love her, you would have asked Horner, at least. She knows you never asked Horner. Maybe she would have never resigned if you tried to talk to Horner, but you let your selfishness win.”

Max feels all breath punched out of his lungs.

“You had the power to ask your team principal yet you didn't and she has to watch you achieve your dreams while she can't. Unfair, don’t you think?”

A pause.

“Just start considering what she feels, mate. That's all.”

“I am considering her. Always.” This is the closest to a love declaration he can admit out loud. The purest form of love is consideration, they say. When someone thinks about how things would make you feel, pays attention to detail, holds you in regard when making decisions that could affect you, keeps promises so you won’t be disappointed, that's when you know they love you.

“Are you really?”

Is he really?

“Take care of her for me, Verstappen. Even from afar. You can do that.”

The call ends.

Max stares blankly at the wall, still holding his phone against his ear. Then, he hurls it across the room. He aggressively drags his hand through his face.

Max flies back to Belgium after Austin to spend the rest of his off-season with his mother and sister. He apologizes to Logan for his behavior. Logan is a kind man, he forgives easily. He drives Max to the airport.

The next day, an article is posted, titled—AN UNLIKELY FRIENDSHIP: MAX VERSTAPPEN OF RED BULL RACING AND LOGAN SARGEANT OF WILLIAMS RACING SPOTTED DRIVING AROUND AUSTIN.

On New Year's Eve, Kelly messages Max. He can't say that he’s surprised. In truth, he’s been expecting her to message him, whether it's to beg to take her back or to curse him out or to tell him something about Penelope or it's to inform him that she's going to pick up her things in Max’s penthouse in Monaco.

kelly: i sent someone to pick up our things in your place

max: okay

kelly: also

kelly: *sent a photo*

kelly: she apologized for something that's not her fault

kelly: you have a good one

The photo is a screenshot of Kelly’s conversation with you, dated December 30. That was yesterday.

you: sorry about the breakup

you: i didn't know about the shoes

you: i didn't take it

you: im so sorry

you: i hope you're not too hurt

kelly: i think i’m the one who’s been taking him from you

kelly: take care of him for me

you: thank you for loving him

you: but i can’t do what you're asking

you: not anymore

“What’s wrong, baby?”

Max looks up to see his mother’s worried face.

“Oh, uh,” he closes his phone and almost drops it. Fucking clumsy fingers, fucking messages, fucking pain. “Nothing, Mum.”

His mother does not look convinced.

“You know you can tell me anything, right? No need to hide it. You may be a world champion now but you’ll always be my baby,” she says. “What does [Name] always say? Even champions are allowed to cry.”

At the mention of you, Max looks away.

“Tell me. Is it Kelly?”

The last time Max cried in his mother’s arms was when he was eleven. Jos always said boys should never cry. That boys who cry are weak. And weak people do not become champions. Max wanted to be a champion so he never allowed himself to be weak. Weakness only becomes a weakness if it is known so he learned to bottle it up over the years and all the bottled grief became anger. Hence, the birth of his serious anger issues.

He’s twenty-seven now with three WDC titles under his belt. He’s outgrown both of his parents in terms of physical size and in career accomplishments but when his mother’s arms wrapped around him, he allowed himself to become a little boy again. He allowed himself to be weak.

“She left me, Mum,” Max whispers, hugging her mother close. Sophie rubs his back in soothing circles.

“You’ll find someone, Max,” his mother assures.

“I don't want someone else,” he says. “I want [Name].”

“Oh.”

Sophie blinks.

“Max, you—”

“Please, don't make me say it, Mum,” Max pleads, squeezing his eyes shut. A lone tear drips down his cheek. “Don't make me say I’m in love with [Name].”

Max sends an email to Christian that he’s not going to take a manager in 2024. Christian tells him it's a bad idea, that he needs a manager because he’s becoming busy with his schedules and everyone wants a piece of time with the third-time world driver’s champion but Max cannot care less. If it’s not you, he’d rather have no one at all.

Max wants to learn how to get used without you on his side. He did a little reflecting over pre-season and realized how he had become so dependent on you. He learns the functions of a Google calendar and how to use a Notion page.

Max just knows 2024 is going to be a shitty year for him.

Bahrain, Max remembers, is your favorite track. He doesn't know why you like Bahrain. Bahrain is hot. Bahrain is not as exciting as other race tracks. Personally, he prefers Spa-Francorchamps.

He also remembers that you like watching the air show. You never said it outright but you always have this smile on your face while watching the jets painting the sky with colors so Max kind of figured.

Max snaps a picture of the jets in the sky. He opens his Instagram and searches for your name in his message list. When he presses his conversation with you, the first thing that greets him is his spam of angry messages. All delivered, all unread. The last message, Max remembers, was sent when he visited Austin with Logan to search for you.

max: SO YOU TOLD LEO BUT NOT ME? DO I EVEN MEAN SOMETHING TO YOU?

His finger hovers on the send button. He lets out a sigh and he pockets his phone instead.

Daniel approaches Max after Max wins Jeddah.

“Hey, have you been talking to [Name]?” he asks.

“Not lately,” answers Max. Not since she left me, Max thinks.

Daniel scratches his nape. “I think she's angry at me.”

“You’ve been talking?”

Now, Max is offended. So you talked to Leo, you talked to Kelly, you talked to Daniel, but you made no effort to talk to him? When was he going to get a message from you?

“Well, I kinda…” Daniel pulls out his phone. “I just checked up on her? And she replied like a week later. She sounds kinda angry? I don't know. Do you think she sounds angry?”

Daniel shows Max his last conversation with [Name].

daniel: hey!

daniel: heard from max what happened

daniel: we miss you! you should visit come by in bahrain! the opening is gonna be sick

you: can't sorry

daniel: aww how about jeddah

daniel: i’ll fly you out don't worry about traveling commercial

you: idk man

you: might be too much noise and distraction for you

you: good luck in jeddah tho

A very passive aggressive reply.

“Yeah, she is,” Max supplies.

Max wins Bahrain. Max wins Jeddah. Australia, on the other hand, is a funny story. First, the Williams team pulls an annoying move. Poor Logan. He had to give his car to his teammate and sit out of the race.

Max visits him after the news was officially announced. He finds the American racer in his driver room, sitting sadly on the bed with his head bent low, after asking a rookie Williams mechanic, who trembled at the sight of him.

It's a pitiful looking room. Max has a villa for a driver room. Logan doesn't even have a closet for his overalls, just a rack held together by hopes and dreams. The bed is so tiny and narrow that Max is sure he wouldn't even fit if he lies in there unless he assumes a tight fetal position.

“You’re here,” Logan stands from the bed, eyes wide in surprise. He hasn’t expected Max to visit him out of all the people in the grid. Not even his own teammate performed that courtesy. “Uh, I don't have anything. Here, have my seat. Do you want me to grab—”

“It's fine,” Max holds his palm up. “Sit back down, Logan.”

Logan slowly sits back down and moves to the side so Max can have a space to sit on. Max occupies Logan’s given space beside him. Their shoulders and elbows are touching.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

Logan nods.

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

Max nods, but he doesn't believe him. Comfortable silence wraps the entire room. It lasted less than five minutes.

“You should break the car,” Max suggests seriously. “So no one can drive it, too.”

A soft laugh escaped Logan’s throat.

The door swings open and enters Leo, who freezes when he sees Max Verstappen sitting next to Logan. He looks at the two F1 drivers then back in his hand, where he was holding a large Stanley cup and two styro cups.

“Great, I only brought two cups,” he says, kicking the door behind him to close it. “Should have told me the world champion is coming. I would have brought the expensive wine.”

“What do you have there?”

“Beer,” Leo lifts the Stanley cup and gives it a small shake. “Transferred it to a Stanley cup so no one would notice.”

“James wouldn’t be happy,” says Logan, frowning.

“We’re not happy with him either,” Leo retorts, pouring the beer into the two cups. He hands one to Logan and another to Max.

“I suggested breaking his car,” Max inserts, accepting the cup. He still feels a bit weird to be hanging out with Leo like this. He’s angry still, but he’s not as angry as he was in Austin. Leo’s words, though Max would never admit it out loud, made sense. You left because of Max’s own selfishness. He was the one who had cut your wings and thought that his gesture was out of love when in fact, it was an action born out of his desperation and his fear of being left behind by you.

“Should I?” Leo humors his suggestion, shrugging his shoulders.

Logan sighs, shaking his head at the two. He can’t believe they're both older than him but still wield that petty immaturity.

“Please don't.”

Second, the RB20 has brake issues in Australia so Max ends up retiring in the middle of the race. Max hears everyone cheer at his retirement. That's when you know he’s good. When everyone wishes for his downfall. Everybody in Red Bull grows wary watching their prized driver stomp inside the garage, looking like he has a lot to say to the mechanics. His head is as hot as the burning car at the pit.

Max hears two people whispering amongst themselves:

“Mad Max is back.”

“Where's [Name] when you need her? He’s going to get blow up at us now.”

“[Name] really is a saintess because she’s the only one who can handle him when he’s angry.”

“I never appreciated her efforts before but I am now. I hope she never left.”

Max hopes she didn't, too. Out of all the people in Red Bull, he’s the one who wishes that she hasn't left the most. Now, he’s even angrier.

Max wins P1. If he doesn't, it's a DNF. The problem is the reliability of the car, not him. Never him.

He steps foot in Austin soil again on October 15th for the 19th race of the season, eager to win another P1 and increase his chance of snatching his fourth consecutive world driver’s championship title.

Fortunately, the RB20 doesn't fail him mid-race. The Dutch national anthem is heard all around the Circuit of the Americas and Max retires to the garage, too tired for any form of celebration. He wants to change out of his racing gear. He still has to fix his Google calendar and check out a few things in his Notion page. Who knew being your own manager can be so tiring?

Kendall comes by, a camera in hand. She snaps a quick picture, only one take because she knows Max hates taking pictures. Max believes you mentioned it to her before and has asked her to take the pictures quickly so he wouldn't get annoyed. You were always too thoughtful, always mindful of the little details. Perhaps, it was why he fell in the first place.

Max pivots on his heels to leave after he hears the camera click.

“Oh Max,” Kendall stops him. “[Name] came by earlier. She said congratulations.”

Max entire world stops spinning. Everything else became a mass of white noise.

“Where's she?” Max demands.

“She left already, said she’s got somewhere to be—”

Max sprints to his driver room, grabs his keys and ran all the way to the parking lot where his car was parked, not minding the screams and the questioning stares he received from the people he ran past them to his car. His mind only focuses on one thing—he has to get to you.

He drives down to the familiar road that he and Logan drove in last December 2023. He's racing against time and like all races he'd participated in, he hopes to win. He hopes that he’ll be able to see you. Max arrives at the red and yellow brick house in Vista Del Pueblo, jogging up until the front door and knocking. Four slow knocks followed by three quick ones, so you’ll know it's him.

No one answers. Max jogs up to the window at the front and peeks inside. The house is still empty as it had been in December.

Max's shoulders sagged.

He wasn't fast enough.

#max verstappen x reader #f1 x reader #formula one #max verstappen #formula 1 #max verstappen x you #manager!reader #f1 imagines #fanfic #mv33 x reader #mv1 x reader #mv1 #mv33

[astonmartingf]

YOU'VE BEEN ON MY MIND —

— co-parenting with alonso has been smooth sailing, until he starts dropping hints that he wants to be with you again

SPECIAL ★ ALES AND YNLONSO

amgf after that chapter, this is your gift ig enjoy it because it'll only get better (worse) from here 😀👍

previous ★ masterlist ★ next

ALEJANDRO ALONSO (ALES)

born on June 2019, 5 years of age

likes dinosaurs, toy cars, legos, and construction work

likes to eat ice cream, alonso's special tacos, and a specific pizza that yn makes

likes long walks on the beach with his father and mother

likes to add grass in his lego builds

currently raising a succulent with his father, they named it avi

has his own id at the hospital yn works at due to his frequency in visiting

started pre-school recently and spends most of his time in school

his favorite places are the aston martin office and anywhere with his mother and father

playmates with lewis and nico's daughters

his godfather is lance, yn's cousin

YNLONSO — FORMATIVE YEARS

met through lawrence stroll back when yn was volunteering in the medical bay at a few races

alonso would fake injuries just to go to the medical bay whenever he can, and often skipped meetings just to take a few peeks at yn

alonso became extremely jealous when someone else crashed and was brought to the medical bay, so he began to pray for everyone's safety so they don't have to meet yn

when called for mandatory check ups, alonso would always look for yn and hog her for the whole day

the grid became increasingly curious about alonso's relationship with you, despite your attempts in keeping the relationship private

broke up once after a nasty crash in 2016, yn couldn't bear seeing alonso in pain especially since she was the one treating him

yn is a date to marry type, and found a future in alonso when they got engaged in 2018

their first date was in a parking lot outside the hospital when yn was still an intern for residency, and alonso surprised yn with tacos during a night shift

once, alonso planned on surprising yn but she was stuck in a long surgery, so he fell asleep waiting for her

alonso would always stop by the hospital after races and meetings just to see yn and talk to her even if it's just a few seconds

yn prefers it when alonso was in wec due to less racing schedules, also because alonso won the year she gave birth to ales

had a mutual split much to alonso's pleas after he came out from retirement in 2021

started co-parenting at the beginning of 2022 when ales and yn moved back to spain

frequently drives to each other's house and has a spare key of each other's front door and gate

alonso kept yn as his emergency contact even after their split, so she was still getting updates from alonso

yn and alonso both use lance to get updates about each other, and use him to play messenger, which lance didn't really like at the beginning, but now he's holding a lot of their secrets

their weekly routine with ales includes walking to the beach, having one lunch outing, one dinner date and a trip to the grocery

speaking of groceries, they go buy groceries together so ales has the same food in both households

it's also customary for them to invite the other for a meal when picking up ales, but really it's alonso being a mastermind to spend more time with yn

currently, alonso is trying to make it work with yn, and is contemplating on leaving after the 2023 season to be with them

★ YOU'VE BEEN ON MY MIND — @namgification @nebarious @minkyungseokie @viennakarma @lxclerc @booksandflowrs @c-losur3 @lichterfee @moonyzsworld @e-nonsense @vicurious28 @dannyriccsupremacy @thearchieves @welovediaaxx @vogueprincess @mael1pastry @khaylin27 @whydowesleepeachnight @iridescent-sol

#f1 x reader #f1 fluff #f1 imagine #fernando alonso x reader #fernando alonso fluff #fernando alonso imagine

[atelierlili]

In-Panem/Not Reaped Everlark AUs

Got asked to give some fanfic recommendations for In-Panem/Not Reaped Everlark AUs so here we are. Most of them (if not all of them) are gonna be fluffy and happy tbh because i can't take my pookies being hurt ):

Completed:

A New Path (138k words) by Endlessnightlock

The day after aging out of the Reaping, Katniss crosses paths with Peeta. She thanks him for the bread and to her surprise, a tentative friendship begins.

One of my favourites. I love the direction the author took with this story. Always made me want more!

Go Slow, Peeta (20k words) by Oakfarmer

The era of the Hunger Games has come to an end. How Everlark slowly happened anyway.

This was the one that started it all for me. Short, simple and to the point! A classic in my opinion.

Nothing Owed for a Gift (10k words) by orphaned account

Lately, Merchants have taken to flirting with unwitting Seam folk as a joke, sometimes going so far as to ask them out on a date. I've even heard of a couple instances of a Merchant asking someone from the Seam to marry them, and then laughing hysterically when the poor recipient says 'yes'. So, when Peeta Mellark approaches me after the reaping, red with nerves and pushing his lips together as if he's trying very hard not to do something like laugh, I'm immediately wary. Peeta can't possibly be asking me to marry him for real. ... right?

Urgh. Literally one of my favourite one-shots.

Inevitability (44k words) by Xerxia

What if? What if Peeta and Prim hadn't been reaped?

Definitely not the fluffiest fics in the list, but Katniss absolutely SHINES here. And Peeta stays very true to his character as well. Absolutely worth the read.

It Takes A District (55k words) by MTK4FUN

Thinking her mother is dying, Katniss Everdeen marries Peeta Mellark to keep her sister out of the Community Home.

I love this fic. I don't know what it is, but there's something about it that makes it standout on its own.

Katniss Everdeen Is Not A Stalker (241k words) by MegaAuLover

Katniss as a little problem, she can't stop looking through Peeta's window, trying to find a way to pay her boy with the bread back but as time goes on she realizes she wants more. But there is a problem the District is flooded with Peacekeepers and everyone faces danger as the Capitol tightens its reigns on the district. Can love bloom in the middle of adversity? Or will it shrivel in the face of surmounting danger?

This is the one. Easily one of the bestest AUs imo. Very long read- but I will be naming my first born after the squirrel. The Everlark relationship here is A+++.

Incomplete/Ongoing:

( I know its weird to recommend incomplete fics, some these ones are legitimately my favourite fics and think are still worth the read.)

Cavedweller (79k words) by Jennajuicebox (last update: 2021-01-25)

Her mother once told her she was brave. A word Katniss wouldn't have chosen for herself. Brave implies that you run headlong into the scary unknown. Brave implies you face the things that want you dead. It dredges up thoughts of conquering armies and swords raised over head. Katniss isn't brave. As much as she would never admit it to herself she is scared out of her wits. She is staring into a gaping chasm, waiting for it to swallow her whole.

I love AUs that explore Katniss otherside of the family so much. As always, the Everlark development here is absolutely heartwarming and delicious. 10/10

On the Threshold ( 97k words) by ghtlovesthg (last update: 2020-06-26)

Nineteen and free from the Reapings forever, Katniss finds a token on her doorstep commemorating her passage over the threshold of adulthood. Discovering the identity of the sender will start Katniss on a road that leads toward life's other milestones.

This is exactly how I envisioned Everlark would get together had it not been for the Reapings. So so so so good. There is just enough here to be satisfied that the fic is unfinished ; w;

hope you find something you like! I always have more if you want more to sink your teeth into <3 Happy readings!

@heartforeyes @the-tiny-fangirl

#everlark #the hunger games #thg #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #everlark fanfiction #fanfiction recommendation #these are just a few I have sitting around in my bookmarks. #I know I have a few that I haven't added because I forgot ;Q:

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

a list of some spring movies/series 🌷

spring is here!! and so is your friendly neighbourhood little organisation freak of a goblin to give you a list of some spring movies and series. as always, just close your eyes and point somewhere on this little list, or even put the numbers in a generator and go with whatever the result is ♡

summer | autumn | winter

🐝 ‧₊˚ ⋅ movies ⋅˚₊‧

mary poppins (1964)

the sound of music (1965)

aristocats (1970)

alla vi barn i bullerbyn (1986)

my neighbour totoro (1988)

kiki (1989)

a league of their own (1992)

the secret garden (1993)

pride and prejudice (1995/2005)

whisper of the heart (1995)

clueless (1995)

my best friend’s wedding (1997)

parent trap (1998)

10 things i hate about you (1999)

notting hill (1999)

she's all that (1999)

but i’m a cheerleader (1999)

bring it on (2000)

miss congeniality (2000)

spiritied away (2001)

the wedding planner (2001)

legally blonde (2001)

princess diaries (2001 + 2004)

spy kids (2001-2003)

maid in manhatten (2002)

bend it like beckham (2002)

tuck everlasting (2002)

school of rock (2003)

how to lose a guy in 10 days (2003)

something’s gotta give (2003)

13 going on 30 (2004)

finding neverland (2004)

howl’s moving castle (2004)

saving face (2004)

the notebook (2004)

imagine me and you (2005)

nanny mcphee (2005)

penelope (2006)

miss potter (2006)

step up (2006)

she’s the man (2006)

bridge to terabithia (2007)

enchanted (2007)

atonement (2007)

stardust (2007)

ps i love you (2007)

wild child (2008)

made of honour (2008)

ondine (2009)

bride wars (2009)

valentine’s day (2010)

tangled (2010)

leap year (2010)

easy a (2010)

from up on poppy hill (2011)

jane eyre (2011)

crazy, stupid, love (2011)

what to expect when you’re expecting (2012)

remember sunday (2013)

saving mr banks (2013)

about time (2013)

now you see me (2013 + 2016)

love, rosie (2014)

testament of youth (2014)

kingsman (2014-)

paddington (2014 + 2017)

far from the madding crowd (2015)

burnt (2015)

brooklyn (2015)

cinderella (2015)

the man from u.n.c.l.e. (2015)

lady chatterley's lover (2015/2022)

creed franchise (2015-2023)

me before you (2016)

mother’s day (2016)

this beautiful fantastic (2016)

the light between oceans (2016)

paterson (2016)

how to be single (2016)

hidden figures (2016)

gifted (2017)

dunkirk (2017)

ocean’s eight (2018)

life itself (2018)

peter rabbit (2018)

christopher robin (2018)

tomb raider (2018)

set it up (2018)

crazy rich asians (2018)

spider-verse movies (2018-)

1917 (2019)

the art of racing in the rain (2019)

can you keep a secret? (2019)

booksmart (2019)

someone great (2019)

endings, beginnings (2019)

emma (2020)

enola holms (2020-)

the last letter from your lover (2021)

the world to come (2021)

🌼 ‧₊˚ ⋅ series ⋅˚₊‧

little house on the prairie (1974-1983)

moomin valley (1990-1992)

greys anatomy (2005-)

gossip girl (2007-2012)

skins (2007-2013)

the great british bake off (2010-)

new girl (2011-2018)

brooklyn nine-nine (2013-2021)

the fosters (2013-2018)

the 100 (2014-2020)

jane the virgin (2014-2019)

outlander (2014-)

grace and frankie (2015-2022)

poldark (2015-2019)

critical role (2015-)

howards end (2017)

girlboss (2017)

she's gotta have it (2017-2019)

the bold type (2017-2021)

mr. sunshine (2018)

queer eye (2018-)

crash landing into you (2019)

the witcher (2019-)

dickinson (2019-2021)

sex education (2019-2023)

bridgerton (2020-)

ted lasso (2020-2023)

nevertheless (2021)

the falcon and the winter soilder (2021)

flatshare (2022)

#lea speaks #• comfort if you need it • #movies #comfort movies #movie recommendation #studyblr #cottagecore #dark academia #cozycore #cosycore #hygge #naturecore #tv show recommendations #spring #spring aesthetic #spring movies #springcore #cottage core

[thepastisalreadywritten]

By Leslie Patrick

1 August 2023

Anne Boleyn (c. 1501 or 1507 – 19 May 1536), King Henry VIII's second queen, is often portrayed as a seductress and ultimately the woman responsible for changing the face of religion in England.

In reality, she was a fiercely intelligent and pious woman dedicated to education and religious reform.

But after her arrest and execution on false charges of adultery and incest in May 1536, Henry VIII was determined to forget her memory.

Her royal emblems were removed from palace walls, her sparkling jewels tucked away in dark coffers, and her precious books disappeared from the pages of time.

One of Boleyn’s books that has reappeared is the Book of Hours, a stunning prayer book, printed around 1527 with devotional texts designed to be read throughout the day, features hand-painted woodcuts — as well as a rare example of the queen’s own writing.

In the margins of one of the beautifully decorated pages, she penned a rhyming couplet followed by her signature:

“Remember me when you do pray, that hope doth lead from day to day, Anne Boleyn.”

The book vanished with Boleyn’s execution in 1536, then resurfaced around 1903 when it was acquired by the American millionaire William Waldorf Astor (31 March 1848 – 18 October 1919) after he purchased Hever Castle, Anne Boleyn’s childhood home in the English countryside.

The hiding place of the disgraced queen’s devotional tome had been a mystery for centuries, until recent research by a university student uncovered hidden signatures that helped trace its path through history.

The discovery

The book’s whereabouts in the 367 years between Boleyn’s death and its reemergence remained puzzling until 2020 when Kate McCaffrey, then a graduate student at the University of Kent working on her master’s thesis about Anne Boleyn’s Book of Hours, found something unexpected in the margins of the book.

“I noticed what appeared to be smudges to the naked eye,” recalls McCaffrey, assistant curator at Hever Castle since 2021.

Intrigued, she borrowed an industrial-strength ultraviolet light and set it up in the darkest room of Hever Castle.

Ultraviolet light is often used to examine historical documents because ink absorbs the ultraviolet wavelength, causing it to appear darker against the page when exposed.

“The words just came through. It was incredible to see them underneath the light, they were completely illuminated,” the curator recalls.

McCaffrey’s theory is that the words were erased during the late Victorian era when it was popular to cleanse marginalia from books or manuscripts.

But thanks to her extraordinary detective work, these erased words turned out to be the key that unlocked the tale of the book’s secret journey from certain destruction at the royal court to safety in the hands of a dedicated group of Boleyn’s supporters.

The guardians

Indeed, various pages throughout the text reveal the names and notations of a string of Kentish women — Elizabeth Hill, Elizabeth Shirley, Mary Cheke, Philippa Gage, and Mary West — who banded together to safeguard Anne's precious book and keep her memory alive.

While it’s unclear how the book was initially passed to these women, Anne Boleyn expert Natalie Grueninger suggests it was gifted by Anne to a woman named Elizabeth Hill.

Elizabeth grew up near Hever Castle, and her husband, Richard Hill, was sergeant of the King’s Cellar at Henry VIII’s court.

There are records of the Hill’s playing cards with the king, and there may have been a friendship between Elizabeth and the queen that prompted Boleyn to pass her prayer book on before her execution.

“This extended Kentish family kept the book safe following Anne’s demise, which was an incredibly brave and bold act considering it could have been considered treasonous,” says Grueninger, podcaster and author of the book The Final Year of Anne Boleyn.

Anne’s Book of Hours was passed between mothers, daughters, sisters, and nieces until the late sixteenth century, when the last name makes its appearance in its margins.

“This story is an example of the women in the family prioritizing loyalty, friendship, fidelity, and a personal connection to Anne,” says McCaffrey.

“The fact that the women have kept it safe is a really beautiful story of solidarity, community, and bravery.”

The book, currently on display at Hever Castle, is a touchstone of the enigma that was Anne Boleyn.

Castle historian and assistant curator Owen Emmerson points out that the book contains Anne’s DNA on the pages from where she touched and kissed it during her daily devotions.

“This was a really beloved possession of hers,” says Emmerson.

“Because of what happened to Anne Boleyn, we don’t have a vast amount of information in Anne’s own words. But the physical remnants of her use of the book, and the construction of that beautiful little couplet, have her identity in them.”

While Anne’s Book of Hours has finally found its way home, the research into this intriguing historical mystery is not yet over.

McCaffrey continues to chart the book’s provenance through the centuries to find out where it was hiding all this time.

The discovery of the inscriptions illuminates the book’s furtive journey, providing us with a glimpse into the controversy, loyalty, and fascination that Anne Boleyn has engendered for the past 500 years.

#Anne Boleyn #King Henry VIII #Book of Hours #William Waldorf Astor #Hever Castle #Kate McCaffrey #University of Kent #ultraviolet light #Natalie Grueninger #Owen Emmerson #Elizabeth Hill #Elizabeth Shirley #Mary Cheke #Philippa Gage #Mary West #The Tudors #House of Tudor #British Royal Family

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Red-teaming the SCOTUS code of conduct

Tomorrow (November 18) at 1PM, I'll be in Concord, NH at Gibson's Books, presenting my new novel The Lost Cause, a preapocalyptic tale of hope in the climate emergency.

On Monday (November 20), I'm at the Simsbury, CT Public Library at 7PM

Last April, Propublica's Joshua Kaplan, Justin Elliott and Alex Mierjeski dropped a bombshell: Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas had been showered in high-ticket "gifts" by billionaire ideologue Harlan Crow, who subsequently benefited from Thomas's rulings in the court:

https://www.propublica.org/article/clarence-thomas-scotus-undisclosed-luxury-travel-gifts-crow

This was just the beginning: in the coming days and weeks, more and more of Thomas's corruption came to light, everything from the fact that his mother's home had been bought by Crow, to the fact that Thomas's adoptive son went to a fancy private school on Crow's dime:

https://www.propublica.org/article/clarence-thomas-harlan-crow-private-school-tuition-scotus

The news was explosive and not merely because of the corruption it revealed in the country's highest court. The credibility of the court itself was at its lowest ebb in living memory, thanks to the two judges who occupied stolen seats – Kavanaugh and Coney Barrett. One of those judges – Kavanaugh – is a credibly accused rapist. Thomas is also a credibly accused sexual abuser:

https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2021/10/01/30-years-after-her-testimony-anita-hill-still-wants-something-from-joe-biden-514884

Then, this illegitimate court went on to deliver a string of upsets to long-settled law, culminating in the Dobbs decision, which triggered state laws that force small children to bear their rapists' babies:

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/09/health/abortion-bans-rape-incest.html

That was the context for the Thomas bribery scandal, which was swiftly joined by another bribery scandal, involving Samuel Alito's improper acceptance of valuable gifts from Paul Singer, another billionaire who brought business before the court:

https://www.propublica.org/article/samuel-alito-luxury-fishing-trip-paul-singer-scotus-supreme-court

This string of scandals and outrages naturally prompted public curiosity about the Supreme Court's ethical standards, and that triggered fresh waves of incredulous outrage when we all found out that the Supreme Court doesn't have any:

https://www.poynter.org/fact-checking/2023/why-doesnt-the-supreme-court-have-a-formal-code-of-ethics/

When Congress made tentative noises about providing minor checks and balances on the court, the justices erupted in outrage, telling Congress to go fuck itself:

https://int.nyt.com/data/documenttools/supreme-court-ethics-durbin/cf67ef8450ea024d/full.pdf

Chief Justice Roberts went on whatever the opposite of a charm-offensive is called (an "offense offensive?"), a media tour whose key message to the American people was "STFU, you're hurting our feelings":

https://news.bloomberglaw.com/us-law-week/roberts-defends-high-court-against-attacks-on-its-legitimacy

To the shock of no one except billionaires and Supreme Court justices inhabiting the splendid isolation from societal norms that is the privilege of life tenure, America didn't like this. The Supreme Court's credibility plummeted. A large supermajority of Americans – 79%! – now support age limits for Supreme Court justices:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/18/the-people-no/#tell-ya-what-i-want-what-i-really-really-want

Support for packing the Supreme Court is at an historic high and gaining ground, now sitting neck-and-neck with opposition at 46% in favor/51% opposed. Among under-30s, there's a healthy majority (58%) in favor of appointing more SCOTUS justices.

As Roberts' wounded bleats reveal, SCOTUS is very sensitive to its plummeting legitimacy. After all, the court doesn't have an army, nor does it have a police force. Supreme Court rulings only matter to the extent that the American people accept them as legitimate and obey them. Transformational presidents like Lincoln and FDR have waged successful wars against the Supreme Court, sidelining its authority and turning it into an unimportant rump institution for years afterward:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/05/26/mint-the-coin-etc-etc/#blitz-em

Now the Supremes are working their way through the (mythological but convenient) five stages of grief. Having passed through Denial and Anger, they've arrived at Bargaining, with the publication of the court's first "code" "of" "conduct":

https://www.supremecourt.gov/about/Code-of-Conduct-for-Justices_November_13_2023.pdf

It's…not good. As Max Moran writes for The American Prospect and The Revolving Door Project, the proposed code amounts to "security theater," a set of trivially bypassed strictures that would not have prevented any of the scandals to date and will permit far worse in the years to come:

https://prospect.org/justice/2023-11-17-supreme-court-objectivity-theater/

The security framing is a very useful tool for evaluating the Supremes' proposal. The purpose of a code of conduct isn't merely to prevent people from accidentally misstepping – it's to prevent malicious parties from corrupting the judicial process. To evaluate the code, we should red team it: imagine what harms a corrupt judge or a corrupting billionaire would be able to effect while staying within the bounds the code sets.

Seen in that light, the code is wildly defective and absolutely not fit for purpose. Its most glaring defect is found in the nature of its edicts – they are almost all optional. The word "should" appears 53 times in the document, while "must" appears just six times:

https://ballsandstrikes.org/ethics-accountability/supreme-court-code-of-conduct-hilariously-fake/

Of those six "musts," two are not pertinent to ethical questions (they pertain to the requirement for a justice to get prior approval before getting paid for teaching gigs).

When the code of conduct was rolled out, the court and its apologists pointed out that it was modeled on the ethical guidelines that bind lower courts. In the wake of the Thomas revelations, these guidelines were a useful benchmark to measure Thomas's conduct against. The fact that other federal judges would have been severely sanctioned or even fired if they had engaged in the same conduct as Thomas was a powerful argument that Thomas had overstepped the bounds of ethical conduct.

But as Bloomberg Law discovered when they compared the lower courts' codes to the Supremes' draft, the Supremes have gone through those lower court codes and systematically cut nearly every mention of "enforce" from their own draft. They also cut the requirement to "take appropriate action" if a violation is reported.

If you are a bad judge or a bad donor, all of this is good news. Nearly everything that it condemns is merely optional, which means that if a judge can be convinced to ignore a rule, they won't have violated the code. What's more, even widespread rulebreaking doesn't trigger an investigation. That's a very weak security measure indeed.

But it gets worse. The Supremes' code also omit key definitions found in the codes that bind the lower courts. The most important definition to be cut is for "political organization," which the lower courts define expansively as both parties and "entit[ies] whose principal purpose is to advocate for or against political candidates or parties." That definition captures "nonprofits, think tanks, lobbying firms, trade associations, grassroots groups" – the whole panoply of organizations whom federal judges must maintain an arm's length distance from in order to preserve their objectivity. Federal judges may not lead, speak at or donate to these organizations.

By omitting this definition, the Supremes open the door to involvement with precisely the kinds of PACs, thinktanks and other influence organizations funded by the billionaires who have benefited so handsomely from the judges' rulings.

What's more, the Supremes carve out an explicit exemption for speaking to "nonprofits, think tanks, lobbying firms, trade associations, grassroots groups," and to serving as a director, trustee or officer of "a nonprofit organization devoted to the law, the legal system, or the administration of justice and may assist such an organization in the management and investment of funds."

As Moran points out, this exemption would cover – among other institutions – the far-right Federalist Society, which satisfies all those criteria. That means a Supreme Court justice could sit on the board and raise funds for the FedSoc without raising any issues with this code – not even one of those squishy "shoulds." Nothing in this code would stop Clarence Thomas or Thomas Alito from accepting lavish gifts, private jet rides, or luxury tour buses from billionaires with business before the court:

https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/justice-thomas-267000-loan-rv-forgiven-senate-democrats-104303972

As Moran writes, these definitional vacuums are a well-understood class of weaknesses in ethics codes. Congress gets a lot of mileage out of this ruse – for example, by narrowly defining "lobbying" to exclude things that most people understand that term to mean, Congress engage in improperly close relations with lobbyists while still maintaining that they hardly ever talk to a lobbyist at all:

https://www.politico.eu/article/jeff-hauser-opinion-watergate-european-union-qatargate/

The same ruse goes for campaign contributions – if you want to accept a lot of campaign contributions that would fall afoul of ethics rules, just narrow the definition of "campaign contribution" until all the money you're receiving no longer qualifies.

Moran closes by calling on Congress to formulate a real, meaningful code of conduct for the Supremes, one that orders Supreme Court judges not to accept corrupting gifts and to maintain the arm's length neutrality that the rest of the federal judiciary is required to keep. Rather than this new code of conduct constituting proof that SCOTUS can be its own oversight, its gross deficiencies should put to rest any question about whether the Supremes can be trusted to regulate themselves.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/17/red-team-black-robes/#security-theater

Image: Senate Democrats (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:United_States_Supreme_Court_Building,_July_21,_2020.jpg

CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en

#pluralistic #security theater #scotus #supreme court #clarence thomas #red teaming #loopholes #cheap tricks #diff

[kiestrokes]

Your thoughts on Seventeen as sex workers and their specialties

Seventeen as Sex Workers | NSFW

Rating: NSFW. Mature (18+) Minors DNI. Genre: headcanon, imagine, smut. Warnings: language?

Sexually Explicit Content: this is about sex work, we support sex workers on this blog, if you are not comfortable with that please do not engage with this post. All of these are consented acts, the services are very detailed, and everyone knows what they're getting themselves into (even Gyu).

🗝️Note: I gifted @minttangerines & @minisugakoobies with a preview of the ones I had drunkenly wrote back on Valentines Day. Finally finished the rest.

Disclaimers: This is a work of fiction; I do not own any of the idols depicted below.

Coups Grade A, mothering fucking camboy those eyebrows alone have his viewers coming on command. 

Jeonghan This man is a financial dom, that pretty face and scathing looks of disapproval without really getting his hands dirty? (Coups is his number one customer.)

Joshua  Similar to Han he sells his perversely used items to the very (large) freaky crowd of humans on the internet. Is he mildly worried one of his specimens will end up at a crime scene? Yes. 

Jun Ok the only thing I keep coming back to for Jun is a soft core pornstar. Just thinking about the members giggling over his one kiss scene.

Hoshi THE male stripper to end all other stripper's careers, because Hoshi simply loves to dance, and that magnetism really draws a crowd.

Wonwoo Welcome your happy endings massage. 

Woozi Y’all this man makes moaning boy audios on YouTube. And they SELL (in youtube streams that is). He finally collected enough to compile an hour live stream and is showering in the rewards. 

DK Our classy escort for the affluent crowd…that sometimes (always) ends up in an additional service.

Mingyu Gyu is kinda clueless (per usual) he makes his money cuckholding for some of the rich gym couples. But has conflicted feelings about if this is really for him. 

Hao Hallucinogenic tea ceremonies where he brings you to verbal orgasm.

Boo Ahem. Boo is the purest of doms, this man is clean, by the rule book and concise whenever you require his services. This is the safest domming experience you will ever have.

Vernon Listen it had to be someone, he’s our resident feet pic supplier.

Dino How do I properly explain this one? Dino sold himself to a singular client, one who spoils him, and he makes sure to take care of all their needs. The epitome of an amazing partner. The perfect little subby man.

© COPYRIGHT 2021 - 2024 by kiestrokes All rights reserved. No portion of this work may be reproduced without written permission from the author. This includes translations.

#the lucifer to my lokie #the sun to my mars #earth to mars #svt #svt x reader #svt imagines #svt smut #svt headcanons #svt hard hours #svt hard thoughts #choi seungcheol #s.coups #yoon jeonghan #joshua hong #wen junhui #hoshi #kwon soonyoung #jeon wonwoo #woozi #lee jihoon #dk #dokeyom #lee seokmin #kim mingyu #xu minghao #boo seungkwan #vernon hansol chwe #dino #lee chan #deluhrs

[choicesficwriterscreations]

January Creator of the Month: Jerzwriter

Each month, CFWC highlights one of our talented fanfic writers or artists, and this month’s creator of the month is CFWC's own @jerzwriter.  The writer is selected at random. More info can be found on the navigation page.

Quick Links:

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How do you want to be known on Tumblr? 

Elsa

More below...

1- When did you start playing Choices? What was the first book you played? 

It was sometime in 2017, and the first book I ever played was The Royal Romance, Book 1.

2- When and why did you join Choices fandom?

I joined a couple Facebook groups in 2019. I just wanted to discuss stories with others who were interested, as no one in my real life reads Choices. I didn't even know I was entering a fandom. lol I started reading fanfic on Tumblr the following year, but I found Tumblr intimidating, so I was mostly a silent reader. I didn’t start writing and contributing until May 2021, mostly because Open Heart was ending and I was in denial. 🙂

3- How did you pick your blog name? 

It’s pretty boring, actually. I’m from NJ, and I write. I wanted it to be JerZwriter, so people would know it is Jer-ZEE-Writer, but that wasn’t doable, so it’s Jerzwriter, and most think it is Jerz-Writer. Oh, well!  

4- Pull up the first and last posts in your archive, and tell us about them!  

My first post was the first chapter of my Ethan x Casey x Tobias love triangle, Delaying the Inevitable (OH).  It was my very first fanfic and I really didn't think I'd write anything beyond that.  I was so green back then, not only to fanfic but to the fandom as well. I’m really glad that I was naive because I don’t think I would have had the courage to post it if I had, but I’m glad that I did. 

My last post was Falling for You, a little drabble I wrote for Tobias x Casey (OH), and it featured a commission by the talented artist @weetlebeetle. It was a light, fun piece that took place early in Tobias and Casey's relationship, and it shows Tobias at his absolute simpiest. Lol 

5- Do you write fanfiction, create fan art, or are you one of those really gifted people who do both? 

Oh, how I wish I could draw, but I can't.  So, I’m strictly a writer. I may try giving drawing a go again, but I don't expect much to come of it. lol

6- How long have you been creating for Choices and for any other fandoms?

Choices was the first fandom I ever wrote for, and I started in May of 2021.  So, just over two and a half years. I have written a little bit for some other fandoms since that time, but I primarily write for Choices.

7- What is your favorite Choices book, and what is your favorite Choices book to create for?

Tough question.  I write for Open Heart, Crimes of Passion, and Wake the Dead, and they are three of my favorite stories. I also loved Desire & Decorum, but I never wrote for it.  Though, I’m planning a re-read, and you never know. 🙂

8- Share your first Choices fanfic or fan art that you posted with us. Do you still like it, or would you change it if you were creating it today?

It was the first chapter of Delaying the Inevitable. I was so green when I started that series that I’m sure there are things I would change, but I’m still very proud of it.  That series will always have a special place in my heart.  I’d like to revisit it one day to “clean it up”, it could use some condensing. But I would never change the storyline.

9- What is your favorite piece of fiction or art that you created? 

This is such an unfair question. lol The Delaying the Inevitable Series definitely comes to mind, but I’m also very proud of my Eli Sipes prequel stories, A Mother’s Journal, Coming Up Blank, and The End of the World. But Tobias and Casey are my favorite pairing, and I simply love the world I created for them. And while my headcanon for them is my favorite, I cannot pick just one fic for them, and I'm not going to! lol But, I've also written a bunch of AUs for them, and Friends* is one of my favorites.

10- Do you have a fic/art that you didn’t expect to be well received, but it was? What about one you expected to do well but found it could use a little more love?

Yes, to both! The fandom is much smaller today, but back when we were more active, I learned you couldn't predict how a fic would be received.  There are too many to name, but I will say whenever my smut does well (and quite a few of them have), I’m always astounded. lol 

11-  If you could write only angst, fluff, or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why? 

This is such a difficult question because I believe the best stories incorporate a little of each, and, as a writer, exploring all three helps spur creativity. Also, my absolute favorite is angst with a happy ending, so there is definitely some fluff in there (and I'm never mad at a little smut being thrown in!) But if I were forced to choose, it would probably be angst.  I think that's where I am strongest, and I just love raw emotion. I think that’s where character development really occurs. I have not written as much angst recently, and I miss it.  Perhaps I need a change in 2024. 

12 - Do you ever recognize yourself in any of your MCs or in your writing?

There are definitely parts of me in my MCs and OCs, but I do my best to prevent them from becoming self-inserts.  I'm not as cool as any of them, that's for sure! lol That said, I do find inspiration for my fics in real life, so there is bound to be a little crossover. When using real-life inspiration, I try to change details so that the fiction is not a carbon copy of the real-life event. Normally, by the time I'm done, they're hardly recognizable.

13 - What element of writing/art do you struggle with most? Where do you feel you are strongest?

I struggle most with setting a scene. Dialogue is my strong suit, and that just flows for me. It flows so much that sometimes I forget to describe what's going on around the conversation. I think this is particularly easy to do in fanfiction because so much of the "world" has already been provided for us, so I recognize this more when I'm writing original works.

The other thing I struggle with? Brevity. I know I can go on, and on, and on. lol I've gotten much better at this, but there is still room for improvement.

14 - Do you have any neglected work you really want to finish?

(Elsa leaves the room, quietly crawls under her desk, and hides…) YES!!! Far, far too many, and no matter how much I share those posts that say, "You don't have to finish! If you're not feeling it, move on!" I don't believe it! lol I really want to make wrapping them up a priority in 2024.  But I also know writing - particularly good writing - cannot be forced.  So, it's a goal, but I'll only do it if I feel it’s right. 

15 - If someone you know in real life (who isn’t involved in fandoms) asked to see your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you show them first? 

It would depend on who asked.  I’m not ashamed of writing fanfic at all, but if I believed the person would be judgemental, I wouldn't be willing to share.  A few of my friends have read select pieces of my fanfic, and I’ve always received positive feedback from them. I wouldn’t be opposed to sharing more.  What I'd share would depend greatly on the person asking.

16 - Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing or art? Are there any artists that influence you?

There are many published writers that I admire, but I don’t think they've influenced my writing here. Within the fandom, there are many writers who have inspired me in different ways. There is no way I can ever name them all. But I'd like to give a shout-out to some.

@jamespotterthefirst and @bex-la-get were among the first writers I read when I joined Tumblr. I found their passion for both canon and the worlds they created inspiring, especially as Open Heart was nearing its end and all of us addicts needed our fill. Reading their works helped keep the story alive for me and so many others, and it inspired me to try my hand at it as well. To my shock, they were both so encouraging and supportive of me when I arrived, and I'm forever grateful. Back then, I thought they were rockstars - and they are! But now, they're also friends. I wasn't familiar with @alwaysmychoices from the start, but when I came across their work, I was just blown away.  Weekend with Dr. Ramsey will live rent-free in my head forever, and that headcanon about Charlie calling Ethan the night before she marries someone else. (I faint.) Ohhh, the delicious angst! The way she made me feel what Charlie felt was just mind-boggling, and it encouraged me to really dig into my character's emotions and bring them to life in a more meaningful way.

Early on, I read @utterlyinevitable, and the thing that impressed me the most was how Dom was willing to "write stories that “went "go there.”  They tackled issues that others wouldn't touch.  In their world, everything wasn’t perfect, including the characters themselves. I admired that vision and, frankly, bravery, and it definitely encouraged me to write what I wanted to and not what I felt was expected of me.

More recently, @mydemonsdrivealimo inspired me to explore parts of my MCs that I have not delved into in the past.  In particular, Casey's bisexuality. It can be challenging to represent a bisexual character when they are in a straight-presenting relationship, and you risk alienating readers no matter what you do (looking at all readers here.) So it becomes easier to be lazy and ignore it. But that's a disservice to the character as much as it's a disservice to people living similar situations in real life... like I have many times. Through MJ's writing and our conversations, they've helped me become more aware and do a better job in this regard, and I'm not even sure if they know this - it may totally be news to them lol - but I'm eternally grateful. Now, I feel my girl Casey is free, and OMG, how I love our characters playing together in HC now!

Then there are @lilyoffandoms and @storyofmychoices, who bring joy to all that they touch. Who knew when Lily created a little drabble putting our characters in a new world together, it would end up being one of the brightest fandom spots of 2023? Who knew that so much more would stem from that one work? Seriously, it's been one of the highlights of my fandom experience this year, and it's helped me to find inspiration at times when I felt like it was lost. Thank you both - I am so lucky to have you both here!

There are so many more I could mention, but I'd still forget people and feel horrible, so I want to take the chance to thank every writer in the fandom for sharing their gifts with us. Each of you is an inspiration in your own way; each of you can give someone an idea, and you have no idea where that spark will lead. So, never stop sharing!

17-  Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series? 

Delaying the Inevitable, Friends*, All in the Past, and the WIP What’s Forever For. I also think some of my Ethan x Tobias works would have made for a good sitcom, and how I wish my Tobias x Casey friendship with Bryce x Jensen would be an epic sitcom. The world needs it! lol   (Jensen belongs to @mydemonsdrivealimo.)

19- Do you write original fiction or create non-fandom art? 

I do. Mostly shorter stories that will never see the light of day, but also some more substantive works... which will also never see the light of day! lol I wrote a novel-length political thriller some time ago. It would need a ton of work to bring it up to 2024, as the political landscape has changed so much. I also have two original WIPs I've been writing. One is an angsty story about a friendship that's loosely based on a childhood friend I lost to cancer a few years ago.  The other is a polyamorous romance about two best friends who fall for the same person. It's really a beautiful, emotional story. If I like the end result, maybe I'll let it see the light of day... maybe. lol

20-  What other hobbies do you have?

I enjoy theater, and I'm lucky enough to live in the best part of the world to partake in that.  I go to a lot of Broadway, Off-Broadway, and local theater productions. I also love going to concerts - they’re like group therapy! Trust me, I got more out of seeing Noah Kahan and Hozier in 2023 than I did from the entirety of sessions with my therapist - and I loved my therapist. lol

Prior to 2020, I did a fair amount of traveling, and I hope to start doing a little more this year.  But I have to admit, since the lockdown, I’ve become more of a homebody, and I like it, so we’ll see how that goes! 

I used to be very involved with activism and advocacy for women’s, lgbtq+, and mental health issues. I still am, but in a different capacity than I was in the past. These issues require people fighting for them, and doing so has always been a huge part of who I am, but it can be draining, and burnout is real. I really reached the end of my rope. So, nowadays, I work as a volunteer for a couple local organizations that really mean a lot to me. I'm not involved in grassroots efforts or taking trips to talk to legislators as often, but I'm helping people on a smaller scale, and that still goes a long, long way.

22: BONUS - tell us anything you’d like (if you want to).

As most of you know, I’m one of the mods here at CFWC, so it was a little weird when my the wheel landed on my name.  But, honestly, it’s happened before, and I've just spun again, even though I am eligible. But this time around, I decided to do it. This fandom really means a lot to me, and I wanted to share a little more about myself and my crazy pixelated people.

I'm truly grateful to everyone in the fandom who does their part to make this a place that many, like me, still see as a place they want to be. We're smaller, it's imperfect, it has plenty of problems, but I am choosing to focus on the good... because there is much more of that than there is bad. So, thank you to each of you... and I hope we all have a wonderful 2024! xo

PS... My header... I know Tobias wasn't technically an LI... which was truly criminal. So, that's what fandom is for, fixing what canon effed up. lol My favorite canon LI is Trystan Thorne (COP). I tried adding their picture to the header alongside Tobias, but it looked terrible, so here I am. :)

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I can't wait to highlight more of you in 2024! :)

#choices fic writers creations #playchoices #choices the stories you play #cfwc creator of the month #jerzwriter #choices fanfic #playchoices fanfic #january creator of the month #open heart #crimes of passion #wake the dead

[claireelle18]

She’s a Gem - Vince Dunn

Shoutout to @cellythefloshie for gushing about this man, and encouraging this write. Hope everyone enjoys it!

Vince bought her some sort of sparkly gem for every major occasion that happened between the two. The tradition started after he won Lord Stanley, because she deserved something shiny. Paper rings were what he made her on every date leading up to the first gem. The St. Louis 2018-2019 team won the Stanley cup. He got his Stanley Cup and the ring to go along with it. He bought her Sapphires. This was the first major gift he ever gave her. The two only had been dating a little under a year when he did this. He said it was because she needed to rock something blue to go along with his gear. She wore the set every game, even during the bubble series. It made her feel closer to him, even though he was in Toronto, and FaceTimes were the only form of face to face either got of each other. Her shadow box with the paper rings he made her sitting next to the new box containing her first gem.

When news broke he was going to Seattle during the expansion, she was the first one to cheer on the new opportunity, even if that turned them long distance again. In the bubble, she moved home to Florida to be around her family. Due to the world turning back to some weird level of normal, the couple was allowed to see each other again. He wasn’t in the bubble anymore. He presented her with Aquamarines to match his new team’s jersey color. “You need to be able to coordinate correctly, loves,” he explained. A small promise to her that she had his heart. Her box of paper rings, more added to the collection of both because again he continued the original tradition for every date. She took the move to Seattle right before the fall season, right before the hockey season started up. She had been out of the Florida heat for a while, but her wardrobe was bright, cheery, Key West colorations. What did he get her? Pink Ethiopian opals. They reminded him of her so much, matching her personality (and her clothes). October 23, 2021 - Vince Dunn scores his first goal as a defensemen for the Seattle Kraken. The following day, he took her out and bought her black pearls. “What? I can’t celebrate my first goal with a new team by spoiling my hunny with some new jewelry?” “I’m not saying you can’t, but Vince this is about you!” “And it wouldn’t be for me without my number one cheering me on from the sidelines.” A paper ring adorning her ring finger at that time. “Vince Dunn! You better not tell your mother you just said I’m your number one! She’ll be heartbroken!” ‘Ha,’ he thought. His mother would be estatic, knowing that there was good reason behind that statement.

She landed a new job in Seattle, finally, after being out there for a couple of months. Peruvian blue opals for her new job, and because it was another reason for him to gift her with something to reminder her of him. “What? Can’t spoil my girl?” “Vin, it’s your birthday celebration!”

“So? My beautiful girlfriend will now have something to wear and think about me while she rocks the new job!” She rolled her eyes, and thanked him again. The opals came in back to back sets, along with the pearls, due to the fact that their birthdays were days apart from each other. That paper ring collection larger than imagined when the tradition started. He couldn’t resist giving her options and reminders of him, every major chance he could. Whenever she wore them, it made his heart swell with pride. She loved it because he took the time to choose each item, each one holding so much meaning to their relationship. Maybe one day these would be passed down to their children, and then their children, and so on. The two had talked multiple times, at length, for the future, what it held for the couple - marriage, children, a real house. Over the off season break, he put his next plan of what celebration the two would have. The biggest decision for him. That ring. Not her paper rings, not the other rings that matched the sets of jewelry previously gifted. He had been giving it thoughts for a year now. First season completed in Seattle, he was ready for that next step with her. She donned his name multiple times for years, stitched into all the jerseys. She had stuck through it all with him. Every twist, turn, bump, and loop-de-loop life threw at them. Glued to his side. The ups and downs, highs and lows, every moment. That old box of paper rings proving every day their commitment. He knew she kept them all. He finally settled on the perfect ring for her. A 3.5 karat diamond with a titanium band. Classic, with minor flare. A little more flashy than the others in her now decent size collection, but she deserves the attention. The most important piece she’d own.

He found it by accident while out with the boys back in Toronto. Home for him is with her, no matter where they are. The group had popped into an antique based shop, and as she was more of a timeless, classic girl, he took a peek at what the case held. Nestled in red velvet, sat the ring. Then and there he saw her with that particular one adorning her finger. A little more shiny and sparkling, definitely a conversation starter. Similar to her grandmother’s ring that she said she adored growing up. The marquise cut, flower set diamond ring. Immediately he rang his mother, followed by her mother. Both were in agreeance. That ring was meant to be hers. Without a second thought, he bought it.

He had the girl of his dreams. He now had the perfect ring. All he needed was the perfect place to ask her that all so important question. She wasn’t the type to care for the general cheesy proposals. He needed something more meaningful, more unique.

He held onto that ring until their trip to the Bahamas with some of the other teammates that weren’t selected for the All Stars series. Sunset on the balcony of their hotel room with drinks, and a hidden bottle of champagne to celebrate with further after he asked. His phone hidden and recording to keep this moment forever.

Her back facing the camera, she was admiring the fire painted sky. He came up, hugging her from behind. The box in his pocket feeling heavier than before. “Hey hunny…you know that I love you, right?” He asked her.

“Yeah, of course I do loves. Why do you ask?”

He was already nervous, a little giddy even. He never thought he’d be there, ready to ask her to be by his side forever. He took her hand making her face him. “I say that because…be…because…I want to spend the until the end of time with you.” He drops down to one knee, his ocean tumbled curls falling into his eyes. “For years already you’ve worn my last name proudly across your back, but now I want you to share that last name. Our last name across your back. I want those future moments we’ve talked about time and time again. Will you marry me?” He pulled out the velvet box, that ring glinting, reflecting the scorching colors.

Her eyes sparkled with tears that threatened to tumble down her cheeks. “Of course I’ll marry you Vince!” He slipped the ring on, she pulled him in for a kiss.

After dinner and celebrations, back in the hotel room. “You picked a wonderful ring. Knowing me so well for this shiny one,” she commented to him. “But you know I’d marry you with paper rings if it came down to it. You’re the one I want.”

#vince dunn #imagine #hockey imagine #nhl hockey #nhl imagine #reader insert #seattle kraken #kraken hockey

[yuurei20]

Leona Fact Sheet

(Voted 3rd-most-popular-character on the jpn server in a combination of seven different character-ranking surveys held throughout 2021)

Contrary to appearances, Leona is one of the top-performing students at NRC, but he has become extremely sarcastic after years of being constantly compared to his older brother, the crown prince of Sunset Savannah.

Leona grew up in a culture where women are highly respected and we learn in-game that he is unable to refuse requests made of him by his brother’s wife. Through Ruggie, we learn that over half of the royal guard employed at the palace—where Leona was born and raised—are female.

The people of Sunset Savannah are fearful of droughts, making their second prince’s unique magic, “King’s Roar” particularly horrifying. Leona is capable of drying up both places and people and turning them to sand, without even needing to touch them (ref: Halloween Event). Unique magics are often learned by magic-users after years of study, but we learn in Book 2 that Leona was born with his ability.

Leona is an accomplished chess-player, having enjoyed the game since he was a small child when he would regularly beat even adult opponents.

His older brother’s son Cheka has only appeared once in-game (thus far), but seems very attached to his uncle, abandoning his attendants to hunt down Leona on his own in Book 2, climb bodily onto his stomach and talk about letters that have been sent but unanswered and when he might, too, be allowed to start learning how to play Spelldrive. In the Halloween event, Cheka spends the entirety of Halloween-day constantly calling Leona on his phone.

Though struggling with how Cheka’s existence ruins his chance of fulfilling his one and only dream, Leona seems fond of his nephew in his own way. Cheka’s name for Leona—Oji-tan—has been adopted by twst fans and became a trending topic on Twitter on Leona’s birthday in 2021. ("Leona-san" is trending at #13 nationwide as of 7:57am on July 27th 2022)

Leona's demeanor is usually calm, and he treats those around him equally, without picking favorites. He is described as a “genius commander” with strong leadership abilities and prefers brains over brawn, to the point of using tactics that may be seen as underhanded or crafty.

When asked how he came by the scar on his left eye, Leona answers, “I forgot”.

Despite his decadent upbringing, Leona has no interest in wealth or material goods. On his birthday he dismisses the messages and piles of presents that have arrived from his family, even offering to give them to the player character. The only present he opens is that from Cheka, who calls him to ask how he liked it. Leona ignores him and is reprimanded by his sister-in-law.

While we know that Leona’s father is ill, we have not been given much information about his mother. 

His brother Farena is older by a decade, and Leona is often criticizing him for his baseless optimism and not being politically involved enough in the running of their country. When Farena gifts him an extravagant rug to use in his dorm room, Leona responds, “Why are you giving this to me when you should be giving it to the ruler of a neighboring country as a symbol of your friendship?”

While he does his best to hide away from others he is very clearly both respected and adored within the school, often called to mediate arguments and for special training for the members of the spell drive club.

Leona became the Savanaclaw housewarden in his second year due to a variety of factors, including his displeasure in acting as a subordinate to someone he did not respect, how unpleasant he found it to share a room with his fellow dormmates (who were both younger and frightened of him) and because of how those around him cried for him to take up the role. He challenged the former housewarden to a duel and won.

In a vignette we learn that he has been held back only one year at NRC, but he is two years older than his fellow third-year students because he enrolled a year late. While he received an invitation to NRC at the appropriate age he ignored it due to the low-level curriculum offered at the college, opting to remain at home and focus on working towards his singular goal of becoming king.

Despite his tireless efforts this ambition died with the birth of his nephew, which lead directly to Leona's belated enrollment in the school to get away. His constant skipping of classes that fail to challenge him intellectually led to his being held back a year.

Shunned for his frightening unique magic, compared unfavorably to his brother due to Farena’s cheerful personality and constantly criticized from the time he was a child, Leona’s track record of never being recognized or valued despite his hard work and accomplishments has likely also contributed to his attitude towards his classes.

Savanaclaw does not have a vice-housewarden. We learn in his Dorm Uniform home screen dialogue that “A few guys took up the job but they all challenged me, lost, and quit”.

Leona is one of very few characters capable of speaking to Malleus as an equal, and even arguing with him. Floyd refers to him as “Todo-senpai” (sea-lion), while Rook calls him “Roi des Lions” for “King of Lions”. He is regularly praised for his physical appearance by Vil, albeit always accompanied by an insult about some other aspect of his character.

Some great artists for Leona fan-art and more (SFW, no story spoilers) ・Different Leona Hairstyles ・A day in the life of Leona and Malleus ・Love this - artist’s take - on Leona (separated into Twitter posts because none of their pixiv albums are SFW) ・Mostly Ruggie but beautiful art-style

Voice Leona is voiced by Umehara Yuuichirou (梅原 裕一郎), whose other work includes Soma Kureno in Fruits Basket, Weather Report in JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Stone Ocean, Legory Peck in DGray Man HALLOW, Takajo Kyoji in The Idolmaster: SideM and more. Bonus: subtitled video of Umehara being a happy nerd on a TV show

Translation of an interview with Yuuichirou from the official fan book here

More seiyuu information available here.

Citations・ciatr.jp・ yulilog.com・ dic.pixiv.net・Twisted Wonderland Fan Book・Magical Archives Game Guide・YouTube

Additional Fact Sheets ・Riddle Rosehearts ・Trey Clover・Cater Diamond ・Ace Trappola・Deuce Spade ・Leona Kingscholar ・Ruggie Bucchi ・Jack Howl ・Azul Ashengrotto・Floyd Leech・Jade Leech ・Kalim Al-Asim・Jamil Viper ・Vil Schoenheit・Rook Hunt ・Epel Felmier ・Idia Shroud・Ortho Shroud ・Malleus Draconia ・Silver・Sebek Zigvolt・Lilia Vanrouge ・Sam・Crewel・Trein・Vargas・Crowley

#Leona Kingscholar #ツイステ #twst #twisted wonderland #レオナ・ #レオナ・キングスカラー #twstcharactersheet

[contemplatingoutlander]

The children who remember their past lives

I've known for some time about the qualitative research done regarding young children who seem to recall past lives. Of course such research cannot provide the empirical evidence that double-blind controlled studies can provide, but it nonetheless raises some provocative questions. This is a gift🎁link, so you can read all of the article, even if you don't subscribe to The Washington Post. Below are some excerpts from the article:

Two-year-old Aija had invented plenty of fictional characters before, but her parents — Ross, a musician, and Marie, a psychologist — noticed right away that Nina was different.... From the time Aija learned how to talk, she talked about Nina, and her descriptions were remarkably consistent. Aija told her parents that Nina played piano, and she loved dancing, and she favored the color pink (Aija emphatically did not). When Aija spoke as Nina, in the first person, Aija’s demeanor changed: Her voice was sweeter and higher-pitched, her affect more gentle and polite than what Marie and Ross typically expected from their rambunctious toddler. [...] It all seemed more curious than concerning — until one afternoon in the early spring of 2021, when Marie came to believe that there was something more to Nina. That day, Marie recalls, she and Aija were playing together in their living room, enacting little scenes with toy figurines. Then Aija suddenly turned to her mother and said, “Nina has numbers on her arm, and they make her sad.” Marie’s mind raced. “What did you say?” she asked her daughter, willing her voice to remain calm. “Nina has numbers on her arm, and they make her sad,” Aija said again, pointing to the inside of her forearm. Then she added: “Nina misses her family. Nina was taken away from her family.” [...] Marie knows how this story might sound, and she is exceedingly careful about sharing it. Marie also knows that she is not alone — that since the 1960s,more than 2,200 children from across the world have described apparent recollections from a previous life, all documented in a database maintained by the Division of Perceptual Studies within the Department of Psychiatry and Neurobehavioral Sciences at the University of Virginia School of Medicine. Sometimes a child presents enough identifying information for relatives or researchers to pinpoint a deceased person, but that level of specificity is elusive; about a third of the cases in the database do not include such a match. [...] Certain consistent patterns have emerged: The most pronounced and convincing cases, Stevenson and Tucker both found, tend to occur in children between the ages of 2 and 6. They might suddenly describe places they have never been, people they have never met, sometimes using words or phrases that seem beyond their vocabulary. Nightmares or sleep disturbances are occasionally reported. Many of these children are highly verbal, and start speaking earlier than their peers. Their descriptions of past-life recollections often fade away entirely by the time the child turns 7 or 8.

#past lives #reincarnation #children who remember past lives #division of perceptual studies #uva school of medicine #jim tucker #ian stevenson #caitlin gibson #the washington post #gift link

[lbulldesigns]

r/offmychest:

My little sister assaulted me but I'm somehow the bad guy because she ran away from home rather than face the consequences of her actions.

Posted 24th of May, 2021

I (20M) was recently assaulted by my (18F) sister, and rather than face the consequences of her actions decided to run away from home. And now I'm being treated as the bad because I said that it would be better if she never returned.

For context, me and my twin brother Big C were raised by our father (40?M) after our mother gave up her parental rights after giving birth to us. I have never met my mother, and this is fine because who needs someone that flakey in their lives.

Up until we were about eight it was just my dad, brother, and me. Until one month or so after our eighth birthday, our dad decided to adopt two girls. V (23F) and Jinx (a fitting name, trust me).

At first I was confused but after learning that V was biologically my sister, I got excited. At the time I mistakingly thought that Jinx must have been my biological sister also, but it turned out she had a different father. I remember asking why we were taking her in if she wasn't actually related to us and my dad growled at me to never say anything like that again, it was the first time he ever growled at me and over an innocent question no doubt.

I knew better than to ever say something like that again, I tried to be welcoming to her and although V was engaging and friendly, Jinx would not speak to anyone. She always stayed quiet and whenever our dad would go near her she would cower away and get teary eyed.

I hated how she acted like my dad would hurt her, and fully believe that this is why her therapist thought that my dad was abusive. The poor woman ended up losing her job because of Jinx's dramatics.

The sad thing is that I seem to be the only person who truly sees Jinx for what she is. Trouble.

For a while, I thought everyone else was starting to see also but nothing was ever really done about her behavior. Except to send her off to her rich uncle (maternal) who would shower her with praises for her art and grades, and give her gifts. This only made her spoilt.

I tried to counter this by reminding her that she wasn't special so that she wouldn't get a big head and all she would do was start crying and then lock herself in her room and I would be the one getting chewed out.

well, you basically get the idea.

Coming to the true crux of this post.

A few days ago, I was at home minding my own business, and trying to enjoy my gap year. When Jinx comes in and is crying, yet again.

Maybe I let my annoyance get the better of me and called her a crybaby. She stops and just stares at me, and then her face contorts into this really ugly way and she screams loudly, before launching herself on me and starts beating me up.

I was taken completely off guard and tried to defend myself as much as possible, but she is surprisingly strong despite being a skinny ass.

And she just keeps saying "I hate you, I hate you" as she beats me.

My dad came in and pulled her off of me, whilst I cradle my bloody nose (literally bloody) and I catch dad telling her to get out and I felt elated for a minuet because I thought that he FINALLY saw sense.

But after she bolts from the house my dad drives me to the hospital to make sure nothing is broken (nothing was broken thank Janna), and as we are driving home I ask if we are going to the Enforcer station. Dad looks confused and asks why, and I say to press charges. My dad states that I will not be pressing charges because an ass whooping was long overdue.

I felt shocked and betrayed and got angry, I kept asking why he's always going so easy on her.

She wasn't his daughter, not really

She was constantly causing problems with her outbursts and "trauma"

She emasculated him by getting her uncle to pay for her studies

And, she just assualted your flesh and blood.

My dad stayed silent, and I thought this meant that I won the argument. But as soon as we got home, he kills the engine and turns to me. Looks me in the eyes and tells me in no uncertain terms.

"I have tried being patient with you OP. I have explained to you again and again that your little sister is not this monster you make her out to be. Her trauma is real, she watched her parents die in front of her, and that's enough to affect a grown man let alone a small five-year-old girl who didn't know the concept of death. She experienced some shit in the foster system before finding her way to us. And I have done everything I can to help her the way she needs, whilst raising the rest of you kids. I tried to be understanding of you when you were a kid because you didn't know better, I tried to be patient with you when you were a teenager because Gods know I was a real shithead when I was younger. But you are an adult now, my patience is extremely thin. You need to start figuring your shit out because your sister doesn't, and never did, deserve the hate you throw at her"

I won't lie, this hurts. Despite how Jinx is, I do love her I just feel like I'm the only person trying to set her straight.

I pointed at my face and stated that I wasn't the one who hated her, on the other hand she saw no problem with hating me.

Dad asks why she attacked me, I said I didn't know (I didn't want him to twist my words around on me) he just looks at me and says "You're sister wouldn't just attack you without reason".

At this point, I tried to get out of the car, but my dad grabbed my arm, held me in place, and demanded again what I did.

I finally relented and said I called her a crybaby and he groans at me, I said "see she completely blew everything out of proportion". He says that Jinx shouldn't have attacked me, but then asks why I felt the need to insult her.

I lost it and said that she's always crying.

I can't walk past her room without hearing her cry, SHE IS A CRYBABY.

Dad just looked at me, and disappointment was written all over his face. Not at Jinx, but at me.

He takes a deep breath and says to me that I had two options.

I agree to go to family and individual therapy because I am an adult now, and this "petulant child" and "victim complex" is not healthy for anyone.

I continue to act the way I am, but I need to move out and start standing on my own two feet and learn what actual struggle feels like because I've had it pretty easy with life, and hopefully gain some empathy in the process.

Either way, I was never, ever going to bully Jinx again.

I spent the rest of the night in my room stewing over everything, I ignored V when she started banging on my door demanding what I did to "her little sister" before C-Man convinced her to leave me alone. But afterward, he asked me, through the door, when I was going to grow up before leaving himself.

At some point the three of them, Dad, V, and C-Man. left the house to work at the family bar. I refused to leave my room and Dad told me to take the night off to 'lick my wounds'. I fell asleep at some point and woke up briefly because I thought I heard someone walking past my door but just chalked it up to one of the others and went back to sleep.

I didn't leave my room the next morning, out of protest, but saw Dad leaving to go over to Jinx's BBF's house no doubt to continue coddling her.

However she wasn't there, and after searching the whole day, didn't seem to be anywhere.

It's been several days now, Enforcer's can't go looking for Jinx because it was proven that she left voluntarily. Apparently, that person I heard that night was Jinx scurrying off with her belongings and paperwork.

Honestly, I'm glad she's gone. But my dad is still holding up the ultimatum, he says that when she returns I will have my shit together and that he's disappointed in how unaffected I'm acting.

So long story short. My little sister beats me up, and somehow, I get in trouble instead, she runs away from the consequences BUT DAD'S ULTIMATIUM IS STILL IN EFFECT.

It's completely unfair. I'm the victim here.

Honestly, I'm considering going no contact with everyone because I'm done with JINX getting all the support.

Thanks for listening to my rant.

This is a fan fic, please read tags

#jinx #arcane #lol #vi #silco #vander #ekko #mylo #claggor #timebomb #Long post #AITAH Arcane AU #Mylo made a post #Please respond to OP via reblogging #Please respond as if he were a real person #Unreliable Narrator #I don't hate Mylo but he does strike me as a bit of a drama queen and as having a victim complex #He might be redeemed later

[rollercoasterwords]

I haven't seen many horror films and would like some recommendations. What are some must-watch horror movies for someone new to the genre?

oooh this is such a fun question but so hard 2 answer bc horror is like. such a versatile genre & where u should start depends a lot on like what type of movies u enjoy/what ur looking for….

like if u want sci-fi/alien horror then the obvious place 2 start is w alien (1979) and aliens (1986) (there are other sequels as well but the first 2 are the best) & then also the thing (1982) and its prequel film that came out in 2011 (also titled the thing). AND of course the fly (1986) is a must-see...and if u want something more recent nope (2022) or no one will save you (2023)...both a little more artsy and slow-moving than the 80s recs on this list but very very good <3

if ur interested in slashers then again start w the classics scream (1996) is SO fun it deserves its spot in the horror hall of fame...i know what you did last summer (1997) is also a fun & slightly older slasher; cabin in the woods (2011) is great if u want some meta-slasher-horror; ready or not (2019) isn't necessarily a conventional slasher but i'd still include it in this category & it's one of my faves

if found footage is ur jam PLEASE start w creep (2014) probably my fave found footage horror film ever...but also i'm not a huge found footage fan generally speaking lol. that being said the blair witch project (1999) is of course the classic here but it's not my personal fave; other good options if u want something genuinely freaky/scary are the bay (2012) hell house llc (2015) and gonjiam: haunted asylum (2018)

if u want like possessions & demons etc then. start with jennifer's body (2009) if u want horror-comedy it is SO fun & a staple of the genre atp but if u want something scarier then it follows (2014) is a popular one. there have also been a lot of good possesion movies coming out recently i thought smile (2022) talk to me (2022) and when evil lurks (2023) (<- literally JUST watched this one today lol) were all quite spooky

& sort of possession-adjacent but if ur more into hauntings, ghosts, etc then start w the babadook (2014) or his house (2020) both SO good. also the shining (1980) is a classic & la llorona (2019) is a personal fave of mine (NOT. the u.s. 'curse of la llorona' movie. the guatemalan one.)

if u want witches then start w the craft (1996) another sort of fun one <3 or if u want a classic then hungry wives (1972). the love witch (2016) if u want a visually beautiful & less scary one; the witch (2015) if u want a scarier one.

if u want eerie fantasy-horror then the company of wolves (1984) or tale of tales (2015). if u want a creature feature then blood red sky (2021) for vampires, ginger snaps (2000) for werewolves, and a quiet place (2018) for like post-apocalyptic creature invasion horror.

& SPEAKING of post-apocalyptic. if u want zombies i could make a whole separate post but. START w train to busan (2016) & seoul station (2016) the dynamic duo <3 & then if u want some classics from the genre of course night of the living dead (1968), dawn of the dead (2004...i haven't seen the original one u could watch that one too tho...), and 28 days later (2002). raw (2016) if u want an artsier one, the girl with all the gifts (2016) if u want a fun spin on zombie apocalypse, cargo (2017) if u want 2 cry. & if u want something funny then PLEASE watch zombie for sale (2019) or anna and the apocalypse (2017) or one cut of the dead (2017)

if u want kind of a slower-build psychological thriller then the invitation (2015) is one of my faves, but mother! (2017) is also good if u want an artsy pick & gerald's game (2017) and lyle (2014) are good as well

and then just a grab-bag of horror movies that didn't fit perfectly into any of these categories: barbarian (2022) if u want something really scary, piggy (2022) if u want slow-building horror, midsommar (2019) if u want sunshiney culty a24 aesthetic, us (2019) if u want something that'll freak u out & is slasher-adjacent, get out (2017) if u want slow-build thriller vibes, and teeth (2007) if u want teen-girl horror classic.

bear in mind that many of these films overlap between the categories i've divided them into 4 this answer, as is the nature of horror...if u were asking me 2 just like. force myself 2 choose a top 10 horror movies 2 introduce someone 2 horror w no preference 4 genre or vibe...i think my list would probably be (in no particular order):

alien (1979)

2. the fly (1986)

3. jennifer's body (2009)

4. ginger snaps (2000)

5. train to busan (2016) (<- pains me 2 say bc seoul station is my fave zombie movie of all time but if i had 2 choose just one zombie movie 2 introduce someone 2 the genre it would be this one...beginner zombie movie...)

6. scream (1996)

7. his house (2020)

8. barbarian (2022)

9. creep (2014)

10. us (2019)

#ask #SUCH a fun question 4 me 2 answer <3 #hope u find something u like on this list anon... #movie recs

[heejinkwan]

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ ASTELLA is a fictional idol soloist managed by Starship Entertainment. Before becoming a soloist she was the main vocalist of the girl group Promise, who later changed their name to Paradise. The group debuted as a six-member group originally in 2017, but when Heejin left in 2021 they continued activities as a five member group. It was unknown as to why she left, her old company said it was due to creative differences, but Heejin’s side of the story said something completely different. She officially sued her ex-manager for emotional distress in January of 2022, a few months after her departure from the group. She claimed that her manager mistreated not only her but two other members! She ended up winning and her ex manager was fired but it was too late, the damage was already done.

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ Astella would make her SOLO DEBUT in late 2021/early 2022 with a highly anticipated pre-release single called Sugarcoat. She debuted in an entirely different company, Starship Entertainment. Home to groups like Ive, Wjsn, and Sistar!

★ ⠀⠀ ! ⠀⠀ At first she was very hesitant in coming back into the idol scene, she was content with not being in the spotlight for a while, but this was her dream! She trained years for it, giving up half of her teenage years and she was not going to give it up easily. She plans to release her 2nd mini album around April/May of 2024, so stay tuned!

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♀ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ୭̥⋆*｡ ❪ basics ❫

STAGE NAME ﹕astella ( 아스텔라 )

BIRTH NAME ﹕kwan heejin (관희진)

ENGLISH NAME ﹕astella

BIRTHDAY ﹕april 20, 2001

ZODIAC SIGN ﹕taurus

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♀ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ୭̥⋆*｡ ❪ physical ❫

FACE ﹕minjeong kim of aespa

NATIONALITY ﹕south korean

ETHNICITY ﹕korean

HEIGHT ﹕165cm / 5’5”

WEIGHT ﹕41kg (90.4lbs)

BLOOD TYPE ﹕a

˗ˏˋ ꒰ ♀ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ୭̥⋆*｡ ❪ career ❫

OCCUPATION ﹕idol

COMPANY ﹕bubble entertainment ( 2016—2021 ) , starship entertainment ( 2021–present )

GROUP ﹕paradise (formerly promise) ( 2017–2021 )

REPRESENTATIVE COLOR ﹕pink

REPRESENTATIVE EMOJI ﹕🦌

INSTAGRAM ﹕astella

꒰ ♀ ꒱ ˎˊ˗ ୭̥⋆*｡ ❪ history ❫

Born on april 20th, 2001 in busan, south korea, Heejin Kwan is the child of the married couple Sooyoung and Minjun Kwan. heejin’s parents are working working class parents, her mother is a retired teacher and her father is an surgeon. she has one older brother by the name of Haneul, growing up they had an amazing relationship, they still do to this day!

Heejin has always loved music, she was a big fan of Girls Generation and BTS, the first ever album she got was a gift for her birthday was “I got a Boy” which she still has! She’s shown it her fans once on live and talked about how she got it. In 2016, she was scouted by a fairly new talent agency called “Bubble Entertainment” of course she was skeptical, but music was her thing, thats was she loved so she agreed to being a trainee, for her to only be a trainee for half a year, she improved all the time and debuted in Promise as the main vocalist.

She remained active with the group for 4 years, leaving unexpectedly in 2021, it shocked kpop stans all across the world because it was just out of nowhere. But, she did end up coming back in 2021, but as a soloist this time.

( header creds )

#◟ ⋆ ◟ ⋆ 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐗 𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 › heejin kwan ! #◟ ⋆ 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐗 𝐈𝐒 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 › development ! #fictional idol oc #fictional idol community #fake kpop idol #fake kpop group #fake kpop oc #fake kpop girl group #fake kpop addition #fake kpop gg #fake kpop soloist #fake kpop member #fake kpop company #fictional idol group #fictional kpop oc #fictional kpop idol #fictional kpop community #kpop oc

[bitter69uk]

“It was a successful holiday. The kids had a good time and there were lots of presents. Zoltan got special treatment of course, as well as a robot, a bat, baseballs, a kickstand for his bike and plenty of other things. Jayne was happy to have Zoltan home and happy to have been on the front page for three weeks. She wasn’t callous about Zoltan’s injury. She was terribly upset, but it was natural for her to think of telling the press. She was accustomed to reading about herself and she knew the public would be interested. The news was made, and Jayne wasn’t going to suppress it. She had worked for years to become news and her reward was having the press cooperate with her. There were pictures of Jayne and Zoltan, Jayne, Sam and Jayne, Mickey and Jayne and Zoltan, Jayne and Zoltan on the front pages of newspapers all across the country. Jayne’s grief was transcontinental.”

/ From Jayne Mansfield and the American Fifties by Martha Saxton (1975) /

Pictured: Christmas day 1966 at the Pink Palace, Jayne Mansfield’s final Christmas. (Her fatal car crash was in June 1967). On 27 November 1966 Mansfield and her children were visiting Jungleland USA, a zoo and theme park in the San Fernando Valley, when in a freak accident her six-year-old son Zoltan was severely mauled by a lion. After surgery and weeks of recuperation, Zoltan was allowed home on Christmas morning to be greeted by a twenty-foot tree, a towering mound of gifts and – and perhaps inevitably – a houseful of photographers and journalists. As Mansfield’s most recent biographer Eve Golden recalls in The Girl Couldn’t Help It (2021), “A reporter asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, and Zoltan – his mother’s son when it came to a good quip – told him, “A lion tamer.””

#jayne mansfield #sex kitten gone berserk #lobotomy room #kitschmas #christmas #christmas kitsch #weird christmas #vintage christmas #retro christmas #zoltan hargitay #jayne mansfield's pink palace #kitsch #retro

[avatar-anna]

The Professor

summary: you and harry are perfect strangers

words: 4.8k

tw: none

PART IV, PART V, PART III, PART II, PART I Series Masterlist

December 2021

New York sucked.

It was loud and dirty and gray. It was full of menacing industrial buildings, all metal and barely any plants. You couldn’t see the stars.

You lived in New York, but it wasn’t your home, you didn’t want it to be. Moving away from Cambridge was a decision you regretted almost as soon as your plane landed, but you were too proud to go back, and you didn’t want to relive painful memories that were still too fresh; you already would never be able to forget anything you’d said or did with your perfect stranger, physically being where it all happened was simply too much.

The only thing that made living in New York worthwhile was your job. It was more fulfilling than enjoyable, something you weren’t sure what to make sense of. You were still teaching, at an Ivy League university, no less. Your main focus was criminal psychology, teaching a class geared towards prospective candidates for the FBI or the police. You yourself weren’t an agent by any means, nor did you want to be one. You just wanted to teach and help people.

You kept up your videos, but you stopped doing questions at the end of a lecture. It was something unique that you’d done at Cambridge, and you didn’t think your new students in New York would care anyway. You could tell they saw your class as a means to an end, another rung on a ladder in order to get where they really wanted to be. 

It was safe to say that you rarely left your new apartment, which was bigger than your Cambridge home and paid for by the school. It felt empty, bare, the only things in it being the essentials and a nice cat tree shaped like a castle for the Emperor. He wasn’t too pleased by the move either and you needed to get back in his good graces.

Sometimes you read or rode your bike in Central Park, the only place that you truly liked in New York, but most days you only had the energy for classes and feeding your cat.

Month after miserable month went by. You hardly slept, you read books, but you didn’t have the same passion as before, you were practically wasting away, but you didn’t know what to do to stop feeling this way. You remembered telling him in June that you wanted to embrace life, to try new things, now that couldn’t have been further from the truth.

It wasn’t until Winter Break that you started to turn your life around. You were sitting alone in your apartment on Christmas Eve, drinking wine straight from the bottle and watching some reality dating show—a key routine in your new life that you also hated—when you got a phone call.

“Hell—”

“You’re really going to abandon your mother on Christmas?”

“Christmas is a holiday desecrated by capitalism that promotes buying things you don’t need for people you don’t really like. And on a completely unrelated note, your gift should be coming in the mail.”

Your mom gasped, but you weren’t really paying attention to her, your eyes watching the drama unfold on your television screen instead. “—never heard you talk like this! Are you even listening to me?”

“I feel like I should say yes, but…no, no I’m not,” you said, which only caused her to wail and yell at you more.

“After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you repay me? I always tell my friends how wonderful you are for taking care of your mother, and here you are, showing me disrespect I don’t deserve! This is not the daughter I raised—”

“You didn’t raise me,” you muttered, eyes widening in surprise when you said the words aloud, that you said them at all.

“Excuse me? How dare you speak to me—”

“Do you know what filial obligation is?” you asked, cutting your mother off, not caring at all to hear what she had to say. You had no idea what was currently possessing you, but you decided to go with it. Not waiting for an answer, you said, “It’s this concept in ethics where children are morally obligated to take care of their parents, just because they’re your parents. It was created by a bunch of Greek philosophers and a lot of people seem to like it, but you know what I think? I think that’s a bunch of bullshit.”

“Y/n, what on earth has gotten into—”

“And I’m not the only one who thinks so. A lot of people think that the philosophers didn’t take into account abusive parents or, you know, the fact that no child actually asks to be brought into the world,” you said, completely cutting your mom off. You could tell you were slurring a bit, and that you probably wouldn’t be saying any of this if you were completely sober, but you were on a roll, and once you started, it was hard for you to stop.

“Parents don’t deserve anything for raising their kids. That’s their job, that was your job. I don’t owe you anything. I paid off the loans you took out to get rid of me, I bought you a house when you told me it was the least I could do for getting me where I am today, but in reality, I didn’t owe you a thing. I’m not going to thank you for my achievements anymore. I did this. Not you, me.

“You’ve always seen me as something, not someone,” you said, taking a shaky breath. “And I can’t—I can’t have you in my life anymore. Please don’t call me again unless it’s to apologize.”

“Y/n, don’t you dare hang up this phone so help me—”

You took your phone away from your ear and hung up. You thought it would be more satisfying to officially go no-contact with her, especially because that was a decision you made while you were on the phone. But you just felt…normal. You were still drinking wine from the bottle, you were still watching trashy reality television, and you were still alone. You’d always been alone, but now it was more apparent to you than ever. 

What was he up to?

It wasn’t the first time you thought it, and though you knew you could easily look it up and know what Edward/Harry was up to in seconds, that wasn’t how you wanted to know him. Being left in the dark was partially your fault, and you knew that running away was a rash decision, but what could you do about it now? He probably wanted nothing to do with you when you ran off with only a letter taped to your door. You didn’t regret your decision to leave entirely, you did what you thought was right in the moment. But there were times where you wished you’d given him a chance to explain. 

You hoped he was happy, that wherever he was, whatever he was doing, he was happy.

Getting up from the couch, you trudged to your kitchen. It was much bigger than your last one, stocked with fancy appliances and a large fridge. You didn’t know what Columbia was thinking when they gave you this apartment. It was much too big for just you and the Emperor, and you didn’t plan on having any visitors, well, ever.

“I could learn to cook…” you mumbled, eyeing the pristine stove that had only been used for making tea. Looking around your apartment, you began to think. You might’ve had regrets about how you ended up here, but that didn’t change the fact that this was your home now. You’d taken a big step in standing up to your mother tonight, and you wanted to keep up that stride. All the chance-taking and the urge to try new things died when you found out about Edward/Harry, but it was starting to take root again. The life you weren’t living wasn’t really a life, and you wanted to start living again.

Picking up your cat, you scratched him between his ears. “Things are going to start changing around here, Mr. Trajan,” you said, to which your cat just meowed. “Starting with…a new brother or sister?”

-----------------------------------------

May 2022

You still weren’t in love with New York, but you didn’t absolutely hate your new home. At the very least, it was starting to actually feel like home, and that was definitely an improvement. You had your cats, you knew more than just people at the university, and you could cook spaghetti, something that had bested you for years. You didn’t understand how people eyeballed cooking it just right, but after signing up for a cooking class, you finally managed. 

The first thing you wanted to do was tell Edward/Harry. One night he’d asked you if there was anything you couldn’t do, and that was what you came up with.

-------------------------------------------

“Well, cooking in general, but pasta is my greatest adversary.”

Edward tossed his head back and laughed, but instead of feeling embarrassed or like he was making fun of you, you giggled along with him. 

“It’s a good thing we’re friends then, Doctor, because while I do not have multiple PhDs, I can make a mean plate of spaghetti.”

“Friends?” you couldn’t help but ask. You didn’t really have those. You waved to your neighbors when you saw them and your students told you to have a good weekend when they left your class, but friends were a scarcity in your life.

Not even missing a beat, Edward said, “Of course. I don’t stay up late talking about Russian novels with strangers.” 

“We haven’t discussed any Russian novels ye—Oh my gosh, you finished Anna Karenina! What did you think?”

----------------------------------------

You thought about him a lot, of course you did, but you still couldn’t bring yourself to reach out, not quite ready to do so and too scared he would be angry with you if you called. So you wrote down your experiences in letters, telling the only real friend you’d ever had about all the new things you tried and the places you discovered in New York. You never sent them, you wouldn’t even know where to send them if you tried, but it felt better when you felt like you had someone to talk to about it. 

There were things you couldn’t bring yourself to write down or say, even though you knew he was never going to read these letters. And there were times when you stopped writing to him too, feeling like you didn’t have to tell him every little thing you experienced. 

Now it was summer again, and you were wandering. Aside from all your new experiences, one of the things you liked to do was just walk anywhere and everywhere. You liked to people watch and look at different buildings and uncover all the history within their walls. 

Tonight you were walking around a place called Elmont. There were lots of coffee shops and parks and people who walked their dogs or jogged on the sidewalk. It was definitely different than the busyness of Manhattan, but you liked it. It was quiet, quaint, had a nice charm to it. Or it did, and then all of a sudden there were huge crowds. 

There was an arena nearby, which was what you assumed the sudden hoard of young women were here for. Curious, you followed them to see what all the fuss was about. The arena was technically for a hockey team, and you didn’t want to assume anything, but the people lined up around the venue didn’t look like stereotypical hockey fans.

You were trying to decipher who went to an arena with feather boas and sparkly pants. Having had enough people watching for one night, you decided to head home for the night. You’d started watching a cooking show and challenging yourself to replicate the dishes the chefs made. “Come on, Trajan, Ms. Winter, let’s head home.”

Before you could turn around, though, someone was calling your name. Your first instinct was to run in the opposite direction, cat pram in tow, but you stayed put, watching curiously as a woman in a sparkly teal dress and cowgirl boots ran over to you.

“I thought it was you!” she said when she finally reached you. Her cheeks were red from running, the hair that was framing her face sticking out in different directions.

While fabulously dressed, you had no idea who this person was, or why she seemed to know you. You never forgot a face, but just to be polite, you asked, “Are you one of my students?”

She laughed. “Ha! God no, I could never, but I watch your videos all the time.”

Oh. You still filmed and uploaded your educational videos online, but no one had ever recognized you in public before. You never paid attention to how popular your videos were or if people liked or didn’t like them. Your editor took care of all of that, and all he ever said was things were going well.

“Thank you,” was all you could think of to say. It was then that you saw the microphone and camera crew with the young woman. Was she some kind of reporter? What was going on here?

“And who are these?” she asked, looking down at your cats huddled together in their pram. She pointed her little microphone in your direction, urging you to answer.

“That’s—That’s, um, Trajan, and that’s Faye Winter,” you said, pointing to each cat. You adopted her around New Year’s, and she was the perfect addition to your new approach to life. At first, you worried the Emperor would be jealous of his sister, but he actually took to her quite well, and now you were a happy family of three.

“Faye Winter? Like from Love Island?” the girl asked.

You nodded, shifting from foot to foot. “Yes, it—it has no educational value, but I think it’s quite entertaining.”

She laughed, harder than you thought your comment warranted. “That’s probably the best way to describe it.”

You laughed nervously along with her, gripping the handle of your pram the longer the camera stayed trained on you. It had taken a long time to be comfortable behind a camera to film your videos, but being filmed somewhere that wasn’t your office or by a camera that wasn’t yours was completely different. But you didn’t want to be rude to the young woman, who looked so excited to be talking to you, so you swallowed your growing anxiety and sayed put.

“I love your outfit by the way,” you said, hoping that taking the focus off of you a little would help.

“Thank you! I had to get especially dolled up for tonight.”

“Is that what all these people are here for? Is there some kind of concert or something?”

“Dang, Professor, you really know how to humble this man, huh?” she said. You decided not to correct her on the fact that you normally went by “Doctor” and waited for her to explain. “Harry Styles is debuting his brand new album tonight, and I’ve been tasked by his team to hand out free tickets. You interested?”

Harry. This was Harry’s event. Breathing suddenly became a lot more difficult. He was here somewhere. Roaming the halls of the venue just meters away, getting ready to perform. He always talked about his super secret project. This must’ve been it. 

You were curious. Of course you were curious. But were you ready? He’d hid this part of his life from you for reasons you couldn’t fathom, and now you were being given the opportunity to see it all up close.

“Um…” You didn’t know what to say, and the cameras were only making you more nervous. “I don’t think I can bring my cats,” you finally managed to say. Surely they wouldn’t be allowed inside the arena.

“I’m sure we’ll figure something out,” the young woman said, her smile warm and inviting despite how awkward you were. “So what do you say?”

“O—Okay.”

----------------------------------------

You now understood why all these young women were going crazy. 

There was, of course, a scientific explanation having to do with endorphins being released into the brain and things like that, but the short answer was that Harry was simply marvelous. And it was Harry on the stage. Edward was someone you were pretty sure only you got to know, this person on stage had a presence that was undeniably infectious, and a lovely voice to match. 

You remembered telling him once how you never really listened to music all that much, but you liked the songs he performed, liked the way he seemed to truly feel each word he sang and connected with the crowd, a crowd that you were apart of. Not that he had any idea. 

There were also things you noticed, parts of the conversations you two had that somehow wound up in his songs. No one would’ve noticed but you, but you were pretty sure he knew that. He sang about your late nights together, only now you could hear how he truly felt, how smitten he was those nights on your couch talking about books and music.

Hell, the entirety of “Matilda” was most certainly about the relationship you had with your mother, and though the lyrics weren’t verbatim what Edward/Harry had said to you when you shared all of that with him, the sentiments were the same. You didn’t know how to feel about the song at first. He was the only person you’d ever spoken to about those things, and now it was in a song for anyone to hear. 

But the song that felt the most like a sucker punch was one he called “Little Freak.”

It was abstract to the average listener, but you understood everything he was saying in the song—delicate points of view, gifts wasted on him, how he disrespected you, never seeing his birthmark. It felt reflective, like he’d written the song shortly after everything fell apart, and hearing how sad the song was made you feel even worse about the situation. He sounded…in love, which seemed impossible. You’d only known each other a few months, was that enough time to develop feelings, to say that you brought blue lights to dreams?

The song brought you back to the night he stayed in your apartment, the things that happened and the things that you wished happened.

------------------------------------------

“My bed’s just in there.”

“That’s ridiculous. I’m not going to kick you out of your own bed.”

“Please, I insist.”

But he insisted that you take the bed. You were at a standstill. Both of you ready for bed, but neither of you actually settling down to go to sleep. He kept refusing your offer to take the couch, but it didn’t feel right to you to just have him sleep on the couch. It wasn’t very comfortable.

Underneath all of that, though, was the very strong urge to sleep next to him.

You’d never had any kind of guest stay the night, but this wasn’t just any guest, this was Edward. The man who said you were beautiful and enchanting. Just thinking about his compliments made you feel all fluttery.

“You could—You could, um, could stay with me,” you said, but the last part was barely above a decibel.

“Sorry, what was that?”

Your cheeks flushed pink, but you took a deep breath and repeated yourself with more confidence than you felt. “I said you could stay with me. If—If you’d like. It’s a small bed, so I don’t know how comfortable it’ll be, and the Emperor has a tendency to sleep on top of me sometimes so I don’t know how he’ll feel about—”

“Y/n?”

“Yes?”

“Would you like me to sleep in your bed with you tonight?” he asked.

You nodded. “I think I would like that.”

“You think or you know? I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” he said.

He could tell you were nervous, and maybe even thought you were a little unsure. But you were sure. You wanted this. Nothing more than sleeping, but you wanted to be close to him. 

Stepping close to him, you reached your hands up. “Can I?” you asked. He nodded, and your fingers gingerly pulled off his face mask, revealing the bottom half of his face bit by bit. The first thing you noticed was facial hair, then freckles, then a beauty mark, then pink lips. Your fingers just barely touched the top of his cheekbone, but it was enough to make him close his eyes. “Oh wow.”

“Hm?” His eyes were still closed, letting the pads of your fingers graze across his jaw and cheeks.

“You’re quite stunning,” you said, feeling a little breathless.

Edward blinked his eyes open, a small grin forming on his face. The first time you’d ever seen his smile. He had dimples and pearly white teeth.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

“My turn?”

You nodded, letting Edward, peel your mask away the same way you’d done to him a minute ago. It was all very intense, the whole thing leaving you dizzy.

He drank you in with each little bit of your face that was revealed, the same way you had. His eyes roved over you, his hands lightly gripping your chin. You’d never had anyone look at you so intensely before, but this moment felt too precious to stop, not yet.

“I think I might be dreaming,” he breathed.

Smiling, you turned your head to kiss the palm of his hand. “Not yet. You have to sleep first.”

Edward grinned wider than before. “How silly of me. Lead the way.”

-----------------------------------------

You’d never felt as safe or content as you did that night. It was part of the reason you felt so betrayed when you discovered he’d been lying about who he was. You’d practically bared your soul to him the few months you got to know him, and you realized it had been a mistake. He’d never been as open as you were, and you felt like a fool.

And now here you were, watching him perform songs that sounded so personal, that felt like all the things you never realized you wanted him to share with you in the privacy of your townhouse until now. How could he share with the world and not with you?

Wiping a tear from your eye, you realized that it was time to go. The show wasn’t over, but you couldn’t stay, it hurt too much, and you felt like you were being betrayed all over again.

Luckily the young woman that provided you with the free ticket wasn’t sitting with you. You didn’t want any questions about your early departure, you just needed to get home. You walked back the way you’d come, flashing a badge to a security guard who showed you to the small dressing room where someone’s assistant had been kind enough to watch the Emperor and Faye Winter for you. After you gave the assistant a lame excuse, you took the pram back and left the arena as quickly as possible. 

Walking away from the venue, you felt a weight crushing your chest. The same pain you felt when you found out who Edward/Harry was a year ago hitting you like a punch to the gut. In a daze, you somehow made it onto the subway and back to the streets that would eventually lead to your apartment.

Pulling out your phone, you dialed a number you hadn’t used in a year but couldn’t bring yourself to delete from your contacts. It went to voicemail obviously, but you wouldn’t have called if you knew there was a chance he would pick up. When you were instructed to, you began to speak.

“Hello. I don’t know if you still have this number saved, but it’s Y/n. I—I went to your concert tonight. A woman in a lovely sparkly dress gave me a free ticket while I happened to be walking by the arena you’re playing at right now, which is crazy when you think about the probability of that happening, which is practically—”

The call ended, cutting you off. It occurred to you then that you needed to stop hesitating and talking about statistics and focus on what you needed to say. You called him back and started again.

“Hi, me again. I just wanted to tell you that I saw you tonight. Saw you perform, I mean. You’re very good. I’m not sure how I feel about some of your songs and their inspiration, but that’s not really why I’m calling.

“I’m calling because I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have run off the way I did, but I was just so incredibly hurt that I couldn’t stay. I left you a note, which you hopefully read so I don’t have to re-explain all of that. So, I’m—”

Rolling your eyes and silently cursing his voicemail, you called him one last time.

“Last time, I promise, and then I won’t bother you again,” you said. “I’m just really sorry for how everything turned out, but it seems like you’re doing well, and I wish you all the best. Maybe I’ll—Maybe I’ll see you around. I know the Emperor would like that, he misses you quite a bit. Bye…Harry.”

You hung up after that, wondering if that was even his number anymore. Shaking your head, you tried to put him from your mind. You’d said your piece, and now it was time to move on.

--------------------------------------

“Okay, so that wraps up our session for today. Please make sure to stop by office hours if you have any questions about the final. It is cumulative, and I’ll be going over the whole semester the next few days. And don’t hesitate to send me an email if you need to schedule an individual appointment.”

Everyone at their desks began to pack up their things, a low rumble of conversation taking over the lecture hall. Before anyone left, though, there was a voice.

“What about the question?”

You were only half listening, talking to a student about their final grade. “Sorry, what was that?”

“If I ask a question, I get extra credit. That’s the deal, isn’t it?”

That seemed to get everyone’s attention. Those who were halfway out the door paused at “extra credit,” others stopped packing up their books to see what you’d say. You, on the other hand, froze at the voice. Now that you were paying attention, you recognized it, and were suddenly stuck in place.

“Is that true, Dr. Y/l/n?” the student you’d been speaking to asked, her eyes wide and hopeful.

“Um…” How were you supposed to answer that? You hadn’t done it all year, and now he’d gone and shared that with your whole class. “I suppose.”

That low rumble got louder, everyone rushing back to their seats and raising their hands, eager to be chosen. Some students were already throwing out questions for you to answer, but when you managed to gain control of your classroom again, his voice carried from the back of the lecture hall to you.

“Do you know how to cook pasta?”

You frowned behind your face covering. He thought he was being cute, or cheeky, as the British liked to call it. He thought he’d get you by asking a question he already knew the answer to. Or thought he knew the answer to.

“Yes, I do,” you said, still frowning. It didn’t look like he was frowning behind his own mask, though. If you knew him as well as you thought you did, you would go as far to say that he was grinning. “Alright, go home, everyone. And get studying.”

There were protests from students, one of them even pointing out that no one knew the person who asked the question. But since finals week was next week, nobody stuck around. Except for him.

He came over to you, hands deep in the pocket of his hoodie. Seeing him in front of you was a weird experience, like nothing had ever changed, even though everything had. 

“Hi,” he said, that charming grin gone now that it was just the two of you. He sounded nervous.

You’d yet to look him in the eye, looking the rest of him over instead. Little clip holding up his hair, sweatshirt that you now knew was his own merchandise, a pair of athletic shorts and running shoes. He looked like any other graduate student attending university, but that was most certainly not the case.

“I was hoping we could talk,” he said, and when you still didn’t respond, he tried again. “Please?”

You looked at him then, trying to figure out what he wanted from you. You’d forgotten how intense his gaze could be, and as he pinned you with a stare, the only thing you could say was, “Okay.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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