#Metatron is a bitch

[ghostlymimkry]

What is with metatron being borderline homophobic and ruining relationships bro💀

#good omens #supernatural #spn #aziracrow #destiel #metatron is a bitch

[bragginball-z]

The more I watch Good Omens 2 the more I definitely feel like the reason Aziraphale was offered the position of supreme archangel was to separate him and Crowley because they are too powerful together. Like the fact that Crowley used to be a high ranking angel before he fell already says a lot but then the fact that him and Aziraphale literally set off ALARMS when trying to do a tiny little half miracle? Who knows what they could do together if they actually tried

#metatron is a bitch #gomens #aziraphale good omens #crowley good omens #anthony j crowley #aziracrow #ineffable spouses #ineffable divorce #I just need them back together already #good omens #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens 2

[mountainsoftreatos]

We never see Metatron ASK Aziraphale! We never see him REQUEST or INVITE Az to take the Archangel position. Watch the final 15 again. Listen to what we hear him actually say.

The actual words we hear from Metatron are: "There's only one candidate who makes even the slightest bit of sense, and that's you."

"There are huge plans afoot, enormous projects, and I will need you to run them."

"You are just the angel for the job."

"You know, as Supreme Archangel..."

"It would certainly be within your jurisdiction..."

None of these statements are requests. They all sound like Metatron has already made the decision that Az will come with him. Metatron is informing him, not inviting him.

I think it's really telling that we don't see how Az reacts in that moment to Metatron's offer to restore Crowley. I really think Az told Metatron that Crowley would never go back to Heaven. He knows his demon. Then Az tries to turn down the Archangel position. And that's when I think Metatron says "tsk tsk, I had hoped you would accept of your own choosing. But I'm afraid it's not a request. Whether your demon friend joins you or not makes no difference to me... but for his sake, he had better stay out of Heaven's way. Is that clear?" This explains why Aziraphale looks so pained when he walks away from Metatron and toward the bookshop. And why he seems to straighten and paste on a fake smile when he enters the bookshop. And why he keeps glancing nervously toward the window.

AND and and why when Crowley says "tell me you said no" he doesn't actually answer! Not because he said yes, but because he couldn't say no. He wasn't given the option of saying no.

And Aziraphale is left with an impossible task. I'm not sure if he knew Crowley would never join him no matter what, or if he thought there was a chance. But the things he says seem chosen to try to convince Crowley that Az WANTS to go to Heaven. So that no matter Crowley's choice, he won't try to stop Az from leaving after their conversation ends. And it seems to work! "You idiot" Crowley says, and then kisses him. His anger is directed at Az and not at Heaven or Metatron. Crowley bought the lie - the trick worked.

Now the long wait until S3 to find out for sure!

#good omens #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #good omens 2 #good omes meta #metatron is a bitch #seriously watch the last 15 again with this in mind

[fogdraws]

I still can't understand why Crowley, who only asked a few questions, fell but Aziraphale, the angel who has transgressed each and every rule they had, sinned in a lot of ways - lied to god and other angels multiple times - didn't.

That makes me think that maybe it isn't god who decides who falls and who doesn't, maybe it's just metatron. And since HE isn't aware of much of it - the lying etc - he didn't make Azi fall. Crowley, on the other hand, probably asked questions to metatron, the supposed "voice" of god, and got demoted to a demon.

Idk man, just seems odd that Azi didn't fall. In Job's minisode, he was so sure he would fall, but he didn't, and maybe that's why?

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #gomens #gomens theory #theory #good omens meta #ramblings #metatron #metatron is a bitch

[flywolfwriting]

Just Pretend - Prolog

“I could always rely on you and you could always rely on me.”

Crowley stared into the crowded pub, seeing nothing. He’d spent most of the day replaying the night, like running his finger over a blade just to see if it was still sharp. It cut every time, just how quickly everything had gone to shit.

The dance plan had gone so well; Nina and Maggie had realized they would work together, even if there may or may not be some delays to that development. Crowley had even felt like there might be something there with Aziraphale, like perhaps the angel was ready to move forward finally. Something Crowley hadn’t fully realized he wanted until Nina made the comment.

It wasn’t the first time someone had assumed he and Aziraphale were partners, and they’d always shut it down because they couldn’t be, not without risking total destruction. But things were different now. Now they could be them. The four years since Armageddon didn’t happen had been so promising. They didn’t have to hide. Sure, he lied to Shax about talking to Aziraphale, but that was because she was - obviously - a demon, and therefore unhinged.

As was proven last night.

Crowley wished Beelzebub had just told him why they wanted Gabriel in the first place. He probably wouldn’t have believed them, but maybe it would have made a difference. Maybe they could have avoided all of this… except for the Book of Life thing.

If only Gabriel hadn’t gotten off the elevator. He should have walked into Hell completely naked with a box, not Aziraphale’s book shop.

Satan but even thinking his name hurt.

Crowley threw back the rest of his drink. He’d chosen a cheap whiskey; he couldn’t bring himself to do what he was doing to anything worth drinking - and that was getting absolutely sloshed.

The bartender made last call, and Crowley slapped his glass back onto the table with a sour look. All day and all  night he’d been here, watching the door, hoping to see Aziraphale come through it with an apology on his lips, and Crowley would have forgiven him.

He shouldn’t have been surprised to be disappointed. Aziraphale always came back, but this time felt different. It felt more permanent.

Crowley stood and made his wobbly way from the pub, dropping heavily into his car.

“Take me somewhere far away from here,” he said, and the Bentley listened.

------

AO3

Next Chapter

#Good Omens #Good Omens spoilers #Good Omens 2 #My fic #fanfiction #Crowley #Aziraphale #angst #flywolf33 #flywolfwriting #ao3 #ao3 link #ineffable husbands #slow burn #intro chapter #neil gaiman #Just Pretend #There will be a happy ending I promise #It'll just take a bit #Metatron is a bitch

[realgabryauditore]

I noticed how the metatron changed subject going for "oh but you can choose to work with whoever you want", as soon as aziraphele said he didn't want to go back to heaven...he's such a manipulative bastard

#good omens #aziraphale x crowley #crowley #aziraphele #metatron is a bitch

[kitoblob]

Just finished s2 ep6. And they're right, WHAT EXACTLY was IN that COFFEE, Metatron 😡😡 grr

#good omens #coffee theory #metatron is a bitch #i want to take a rather large hammer to metatrons skull and burn him alive

[fanstantic]

Already late but first day of Whumptober 2023 and turning it into Good Omens Angst

Disclaimer : I’m not really a writer nor english so it can turn very bad

Drugging/Sick/Poisonned

Crowley was lost. He was lost but it wasn’t new, he fells lost since his fall… maybe even before. But what’s new is that he feels lonely, lonelier than he has ever felt. When he stopped the Apocalypse, he lost his flat but it wasn’t a problem. He still had his plants, the Bentley and Aziraphale and their bookshop. But now, Aziraphale wasn’t there, he left and let Crowley alone with nothing. No place to go (the bookshop was Muriel’s now), no friends (they’ve always been Aziraphale friends first) and no Aziraphale. Nothing last forever his treacherous mind whispered. This thought hurt him. At first, when Aziraphale left him on Earth he felt hurt and angry. It didn’t need 24 hours for this anger turned against himself. He abandon his Angel too. Aziraphale needed him but he left him alone with Heaven, without protection. Anything could happens and he couldn’t do nothing. Worse, he wouldn’t even know. So, Crowley made his decision and pray Metatron. He tells him he will accept the proposition. He wants to become an angel again. He would come back to Heaven, for Aziraphale. He was ready to do anything for that. It didn’t take a minute for the Voice of God to appear in front of him.

« So you make your decision ? »

« Yes » Crowley responds, «for Aziraphale. »

« I knew you would change your mind » said the Metatron with a strange grin. « I already prepare anything. Firstly you have to drink that » he handing a cup of Nina’s coffee

« Coffee ? Really ? I need to drink coffee to become an angel ? » Crowley raised an eyebrow.

« No, of course no » Metatron laught « I add something that will help you to left the demonic realm. »

Crowley felt that something was off but he didn’t know if he could trust that instinct. His instinct tells him never approach Heaven ever again. He wanted to run away but he couldn't run forever. He need to be on Aziraphale side and he was now ready fight Hell, Heaven and even himself for that. He take the cup and drink it entirely. And this was his error.

He immediatly feel that something was wrong. A burning sensation began in his throat and suddenly his legs became weak. He fell to his knees and he could see was the thin white smoke coming from his corpe.

« Is it holly water ? » he ask but he already knew the answer.

« Of course it is. Did you really think we would let you come back ? To Heaven ? You are a demon, you fall and for a good reason. You dared to question God. In addition, you didn’t learn that lesson. You tempt an angel to follow you. You twisted him and decide to stop the Innefable Plan. And now we take mesure, you think we’ll let a wolf in sheep’s clothing in sheepfold ? No, we only needed to take off the obstacle of the route. And you see Crowley, you were our main concern. And now, you will desappear. » As he spoke, all trace of kindess leave his face. His face turned in a hard and cold mask.

Crowley felt his inside melt little by little because of the holly water. He clench his teeth to not let out a grunt of pain and he growled « What did you do to Aziraphale ? » He couldn’t stand the idea of his angel already dead without him knowing because… because if hésite dead it would be his fault.

« Nothing, we are not demons. We just help his come back on the right path. You see, the… situation with Gabriel inspire us. » Crowley's heart skipped a beat as he began to understand. His mind full of the possibily, he doesn’t paid attention as the holy water continued its long journey in his body. « Why would we kill a good soldier when we can make him forget you and your poisonned words ? After all, we’ll need him during the Second Coming. And now that your dead, nothing will stop it. »

All hope disapear in Crowley. His angel forget him, nobody will stop the Secone Coming and he will be dead in 5 minutes. All his achievements, all his memories will be erased.

« So farewell demon Crowley and may God forgive you… or not » with a last grin he let Crowley alone.

As his vision darkened, his last thought was « Aziraphale ».

Two days later, a man passing wonders what is this white puddle on the ground. This thought leave his mind when he see his watch. He was late for work.

#whumptober #whumptober 2023 #crowley #good omens s2 #good omens spoilers #metatron is a bitch #metatron #Poison

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Metatron soon :D.

#good omens #gos2 #season 2 #GOS2Spoilers #good omens spoilers #good omens memes #metatron #aziraphale #jokes #where is the lie #am I fithting post s2 depression with silly memes? #bitch i might be

[theelastword]

i saw a very interesting post recently from @fellthemarvelous about how Aziraphale is often treated the way female love interests are— likely because his hobbies and emotions are more traditionally feminine whereas crowley’s style and anger are more traditionally masculine despite the fact that neither of them are gendered. the thesis of the post was essentially that because crowley is the one who fell, fans have decided that aziraphale only exists to comfort and protect and bring peace to crowley rather than be his own person with his own emotions and ambitions. i’d never been able to put this into words, but it’s like this person stole what i was feeling right from my brain and i am so thankful to their eloquence.

but it did get me thinking about the end of season 2— specifically how many fans, even people who defend aziraphale for what he did, believe that the “only” way for his choices in the finale to be valid are if he did them for crowley’s safety/well-being. i’ve seen so many arguments along the lines of “oh, he has to go back so he can fix Heaven for Crowley and make him heal from falling” or “oh, he has to go back to Heaven because if he doesn’t, Metatron could go after crowley and he needs to keep him safe”. and while both of these very popular aziraphale-defenses are valid (this is not an attack on anyone’s opinion!) and i wouldn’t be surprised if they played into his reasoning for leaving, i can’t help but think of that lovely person’s female-love-interest argument.

i don’t actually think aziraphale leaving for heaven needs to be related to crowley at all. it can, of course— and likely does— but aziraphale has gone through just as much Heaven-induced trauma as crowley has, something that many fans (and even the characters themselves, sometimes) like to forget. aziraphale knows first-hand how abusive Heaven is to young angels and humans who they deem unworthy of being saved. and so to me, it is just as valid if it turns out aziraphale going back to Heaven wasn’t “for” crowley at all, but rather a way to protect these other generations from the abuse of Heaven that aziraphale has witnessed and been victim to. is it so hard or unacceptable to think that aziraphale could make a choice that doesn’t have to do with his love life? he is not obligated—nor is crowley!— to live entirely as though he’s making something up/repaying/protecting his love interest. that kind codependency is not something to idolize. i guess what i’m trying to say here is that there are other reasons to go back to Heaven having nothing to do with keeping crowley safe, and while that is a perfectly valid interpretation, i’m not personally a fan of the widespread belief that it’s the only interpretation that makes what aziraphale did “forgivable”.

EDIT/ADDITION: i ALSO think that this is why i’m so bothered by the argument that while Crowley being “selfish” and choosing his own path at the end of s2 is perfectly valid, aziraphale doing the exact same thing is not. i do not blame either one of them for making a different choice, but in my opinion far too many people believe that crowley had a right to his own autonomy and do what he thought was best for himself, whereas somehow it was Aziraphale’s job to choose the same thing in accordance to what was most healthy for CROWLEY and not for himself/his own ambitions as regards to Heaven. people think that crowley has an obligation to do what is best for crowley, but that aziraphale’s subsequent obligation is to also do what’s best for crowley. no one seems to particularly care what may be best for aziraphale. at the end of the day, if one of them can make a self-prioritizing choice, the other can, too. aziraphale is his own person, not a love interest!!!!

#good omens #anyone remember that one himym plot line #where lily left to pursue art and postpone the wedding #and everyone made her the villain #and she was like ‘marshall ily this is not about not loving you it’s about ME an my life #but when she came back she still had to apologize #and say she was a bitch for not putting marshall first #this is like that! #i will never get sick of analyzing aziraphale #aziraphale #crowley #aziraphale defense #good omens season 3 #good omens season 2 #good omens season 2 ending #supreme archangel aziraphale #metatron #aziraphale x crowley #aziracrow #gabriel x beelzebub #neil gaiman #michael sheen #david tennant #good omens prime #good omens s2 #good omens finale #good omens analysis #good omens 2 #baddass aziraphale take

[craftymiddlehorses]

YES I AM VERY MUCH ASKING FOR YOURS RIGHT ABOUT NOW, IF YOU'D BE SO KIND AS TO OBLIGE!!!

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens 2 spoilers #gos2 #gos2 spoilers #the audacity of this bitch #go die in a ditch #metatron

[p4nishers]

i just love how soft crowley is with muriel and how he answers ALL of their questions without hesitation and no matter how afraid or furious he is at jimbriel he never fails to answer one of his questions bc at the end of the day he knows what it's like to have your questions go unanswered and he'd just never do that anyone. not like some fucking people.

#man FUCK the metatron fym 'always asking damn fool questions' well i LIKE her questions u fucking bitch #anyway crowley is so fucking soft and gentle and he's actually life ruining when he's like that like i can't take it #he is so so kind and i wish he would let himself believe that #good omens #good omens s2 #crowley #good omens season 2 #go s2 #good omens muriel #good omens jim

[ineffable-romantics]

These whores will do literally anything but hold hands with EACH OTHER

#i hate them #why does gabriel look like he's about to vomit #i hope this is them summoning the metatron #asking him to take this dumb bitch off their hands #(literally I guess lmao) #good omens #good omens 2 #go #go2 #gomens #gomens 2 #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #jim #jimbo the himbo #archangel gabriel #meme #gabriel #mine

[theineffablepinkbeast]

How the reunion in season 3’s going to be-

#good omens #gomens #good omens 2 #gos2 #good omens 3 #gos2ep6 #gos2 spoilers #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #why can’t they talk ffs #metatron #that fucking bitch #i hate him so much gosh

[vroomvroomwee]

Something about the "you're the bad guys" scene doesn't feel right. And I'm not talking about the coffee theory or Aziraphale, somehow being forced to say it. And I'm not gonna focus on how harsh it was towards Crowley because that deserves a whole post for itself.

No, I'm talking about the contradictory nature of Aziraphale's statements throughout this entire scene.

First, we see him all giddy and bringing forward the news like it's the greatest thing to happen in all of history. Then we hear him say things like "Heaven is the side of good, of light." And it doesn't really make sense why he would be saying that, especially taking into consideration the arc his character took in season 1, where he abandoned any hope he had that Heaven was truly on the side of humanity and chose Crowley over them.

For a long while, I thought it was perhaps some sort of trauma response. When in distress, it's not uncommon for a person to fall back on old habits. Aziraphale saying those things comes as a result from simply being left without an option to say anything else and resorting back to the familiar, to the things he's believed for millenia.

BUT, then he says, "we can fix it," and you can see how contradictory that is to what he just said moments ago. And Neil being a phenomenal writer and Aziraphale being incredibly effing smart, this just doesn't make sense. How can you fix something if the thing that needs fixing is by nature good, pure, and overall incapable of wrongdoing?

And it struck me.

Now we know the Metatron masterfully manipulated both Aziraphale and Crowley, down to his attire, his maneurisms, his choice of words, his timing, the proposition itself, everything. But what if he downright lied about Gabriel?

And there is a sequence that happens off camera, a segment of their conversation we as the viewers didn't see. What if, he told Aziraphale, the reason Gabriel was fired was because he wasn't doing his job very well. And I mean in the sense that he wasn't performing the way an angel should be, with kindness and empathy and care. That he was discharged for being stubborn, and proud, and narcissistic, and egoistic, and arrogant, and selfish. All the things an angel shouldn't be.

And Aziraphale would have no reason not to believe him. Not when he has been personally witnessing Gabriel's mockery, passive aggression, and patronising behaviour his entire life. And especially not when he had no idea about the real reason Gabriel was actually fired since Crowley didn't have the time to tell him.

From what the Metatron has told him, Aziraphale now believes that Heaven HAS been good all along. It just had bad management. It's always been good and right. Someone has simply prioritized their own needs instead of diligently leading it.

Someone broke it. But he can fix it.

It's always been good, all it needs now is HIM.

And that's why, he just... doesn't GET Crowley's reluctance. He doesn't understand because he hasn't seen the things Crowley has seen. And whether the Metatron knows that Crowley knows or not, doesn't matter.

It's too late now, isn't it. The idea has already been planted in his head. All those times Aziraphale thought he failed as an angel because of how his superiors treated him have all been laid to rest by a more authoritative voice. His entire work as an angel validated in mere minutes. He was never in the wrong, and now he has a chance to prove it.

If only he knew how futile it is. If only he AND Crowley realised how manipulated they were. If only they TALKED to each other.

But it's too late now, isn't it. It's always too late.

#good omens #goodomens #aziraphale #crowley #goodomenss2 #good omens 2 #ineffable husbands #good omens season 2 #aziracrow #goodomenss2spoilers #metatron #metatrash #burn in hell bitch

[queerhoodies]

THE LOOK THE METATRON GIVES CROWLEY BEFORE LEAVING WITH AZIRAPHALE

#he 100% knew this would break them up #it was planned #he knew azi is gullible #when it comes to heaven doing good #fuck this fucking bitch #metatron #good omens #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #good omens spoilers