#Like for me it's either they divorced because of the transition OR the transition AND ideology

[moongothic]

Seen quite a few people comment how they believe it's more likely the Dragodile Divorce happened due to ideological differences rather than because Dragon was too straight to stay with Crocodile, and. Like I did suggest that (or at least tried to) in my Crocodad Giga Thesis (really I should've been more clear about it in my essay so I wouldn't be writing this now lol), but like yes, Dragon and Crocodile absolutely have drastically different beliefs on How One Overthrows The World Government. And that absolutely could have contributed to the two separating and/or Crocodile deciding to go his own way instead of becoming a proper Revolutionary

Because like, as I tried to imply in the essay (but failed to deliver); if Crocodile's goal had always been to get Pluton so he could just nuke Marijoa off the face of the earth by himself and end it all in one go, then Crocodile and his way of thinking could work as this, like... contrasting opposite to how Dragon believes things should be done. Some fans (unfairly imo) call Dragon a "fraud" because over the past 20+ years he has only attacked Marijoa and the WG directly just once, and even when he did, instead of doing something to stop their corrupt reign for good... the Revs destroyed... the Tenryuubito's... food storage..? Like. Sure, that'll bother them for a little while, get their panties in a good twist etc, but in the end they're just going to demand more tributes and more free food. The Revolutionary Army may be successfully inspiring more people and more countries to rebel against the World Government's corrupt rule, but the Tenryuubito are still in power and will continue to be in power for a long time. And that's kind of how Crocodile would greatly complement Dragon within the narrative. Dragon being arguably "too soft" with his slow, methodical way of overthrowing the WG, while Crocodile would just kill them all without mercy, even if it meant hurting innocent people in the process. The two would act as the opposite sides of the same coin, the different extremes of the same spectrum. Crocodile would become like a response to the complaints people have against Dragon.

And yeah, the two having such wildly different ideological views could VERY EASILY contribute to a divorce, for sure.

My thing is that... If (and this is an if) Crocodile is meant to go a character arc and grow as a person, if we're meant to see him as a sympathetic character at all and maybe even feel bad for him... It'll be much harder to write that if the Dragodile Divorce happened only because of the two having ideological differences. Like who's going to feel bad for Crocodile if the two got divorced because Crocodile wanted to mass murder people and Dragon wasn't okay with it? That's not a tragedy, that's not a situation where we as the readers would feel for Crocodile and want to root for him. That's not something that would give a character unprocessed emotional trauma to heal from and overcome. He'd just be a villian who'd need to have his beliefs changed.

Where as, if The Divorce was caused by Dragon and Crocodile no longer being compatible due to Dragon being straight while Crocodile transed his gender... Even in the most respectful of scenarios that is a heartbreaking situation, a painful thing to go through. That is a tragedy without bad guys, a story where you could feel bad for Crocodile and want to root for him. That is a situation that would give him trauma to heal from.

And that's kind of why I so strongly believe in Crocodile's transition being a more important, contributing factor in The Divorce. Again, this does absolutely depend on what Crocodile's actual role in the story is going to be and whether or not he's even meant to go through a character arc at all. Like if he's not going to be that important and if he isn't meant to go through an arc then sure, Crocodile's transition doesn't have to matter one fucking bit. But if he is meant to go through an arc, if we are meant to feel bad for him and find outselves rooting for him eventually... From a writing perspective, that'll be far easier to do if we can find ourselves sympathizing with him even just a little bit.

Also like. Yes, you can have queer characters who are just queer for the sake of being queer, their queerness does not have to be an important aspect in them or a huge plotpoint in their story at all. Crocodile could be queer just for the sake of being queer. Because that's what it's like being queer, you just are what you are. At the same time, from a writing perspective. What would even be the point of making him queer if it didn't matter to his character at all and have an impact on his character?

Also while Crocodile and Dragon clearly have very different beliefs on how the WG should be dealt with right now, we don't really know when Crocodile came to his beliefs. Like for all we know Crocodile could've formed his worldview years after the divorce. Hell, based on the way he spoke to Vivi about her ideals, and how we know he spent over a decade in utter emotional solitude, his current worldview could have been partially born from resentment towards Dragon (and his ideals) that's been simmering away over the years.

All of this to say; yes I think the two's beliefs could have been a contributing factor in The Divorce, but from a writing perspective (and based on the direction I personally want to see the story go), I find it far more likely if Crocodile's transition was the main cause, one way or another.

#Moon posting #OP Meta #Dragodile #Like for me it's either they divorced because of the transition OR the transition AND ideology #But not because of the ideology alone #There is also something to be said about people having it hard to imagine Oda writing something... So nuanced about trans people #Which. Fair. Like eight months ago I had zero fucking hope either #But also if you look at how Oda has been writing characters (queer or not) you can see he should actually Get It #Like when I shared that video from MelonTeee about Katakuri and joked about Katakuri being trans as hell. Like yes I was joking #But also the way MelonTeee explained Katakuri's story made me realize how queer coded it actually was #If Oda can write about Katakuri having to hide his true self from his family for a fear of rejection for who he really is #Then maybe Oda can write about Crocodile being rejected by his significant other for who he truly was #One Piece is so much about finding love and acceptance no matter what and no matter who you are #I think Oda could do it. I want to believe

[shakespeareanwannabe]

As You Wish, Chapter 8

Summary: When arriving at Camp Silver Star, Abby Floyd was anticipating a summer of adventure with an ocean separating her from the three people she loved most: her mom, her Uncle Bob and her Aunt Natasha. But after a run in with Charlie Seresin, an extremely familiar looking and irritating camper in a different cabin, her summer plans take a turn that neither girl ever could have expected.

Trigger Warnings/Disclaimers: reader's children are described as being blond with green eyes because genetics are wild and Jake's genes are strong, reader is canonically Bob's sister (but biological relation is never discussed), reader goes by Buttercup and is tattooed, breastfeeding, swearing, angst, tears, references to drinking, sadness, references to divorce, kids doing sneaky things, adults doing sneaky things, references to babies

San Diego, California, almost 12 years ago

Buttercup slowly rocked in her chair, the slight breeze from the open window fluttering the pale-yellow curtains that she had hung so carefully while Jake had been deployed. Of course, he had lost his ever-loving shit when he had come home to find the nursery half decorated and the furniture half built, but the hour-long lecture about taking it easy during pregnancy and not doing any heavy lifting had been worth it.

The nursery was exactly as she had pictured it, once Jake had finished building the furniture and Javy and Bob had finished painting the walls the pale-yellow she had chosen. The mural of pink and purple butterflies she had painted on the wall looked so perfect behind the dark cherry wood cribs, and the colours perfectly matched the crib bedding she had ordered.

She had poured her heart and soul into decorating the nursery, their forever home…and now she was leaving it. Her bags were packed and stacked by the door. She was just waiting for Jake to return with Abby so they could go their separate ways.

Buttercup sniffled as she looked down at the tiny baby suckling on her breast. “I hope you know that I would take you both with me in a heartbeat if I could,” she whispered down to her sweet Charlie. “But we have to be fair. And…” she choked back a sob. “Your sister needs me more than you do right now.”

Abby’s weight had been dropping steadily in the weeks since the divorce had been finalized, and Buttercup’s doctor thought that the stress of it all had been affecting her milk supply, and so had recommended switching Charlie to formula so that Abby could absorb all the extra nutrients she needed. Therefore, when the judge had agreed to their abnormal custody arrangement, Buttercup had made the difficult decision to take Abby, leaving Jake with all the pumped breastmilk she had stored so that Charlie wouldn’t have to transition to formula right away.

Still, the decision had nearly broken her, as much as the decision to divorce her husband had.

“I’ll see you again soon,” she whispered as Charlie released her. Buttercup lifted her daughter onto her shoulder and patted her back. “As soon as your dad’s schedule calms down a little and I get settled in my new home, we’ll start figuring out how to share custody, okay? But I promise you, Charlie. I love you and I will miss you so much.” Buttercup’s shoulders heaved with the effort it took not to break down into sobs. “I’m so sorry, baby girl. You don’t deserve any of this happening to you. I’m sorry we couldn’t make it work. I’m sorry I can’t take both of you. I…I’m so sorry.”

Buttercup snuggled Charlie closer and gently rocked, willing time to either slow down or just stop. It was moments like this that made her second guess every decision she had made in her life. Feelings of failure and shame washed over her as easily as the ocean washed over the sand in the distance. She had failed the sweet little girl in her arms and her sister. They both had.

Buttercup didn’t know how much time had passed before a low cough broke her concentrated view on the ocean in the distance.

Jake stood with a sleeping Abby in his arms, shadows of grief and longing painting his face. “Hey…”

All the words she wanted to say pressed against lips, but she was able to squeeze out a small, “Hey,” in reply without breaking down.

“She…she’s all ready,” Jake murmured, his falling to the infant in his arms.

“So is she,” Buttercup whispered. “All the milk I pumped is in the fridge, and…and her favourite blanket is in her crib. She…” Buttercup bit her lip so hard she tasted blood. She couldn’t cry in front of him. She wouldn’t let herself cry in front of him, not again. Not ever again.

“I know,” Jake saved her, nodding at the list pinned to the corkboard. “You wrote it all down for me.”

As though moving through quicksand, Buttercup stood and waded towards him. With practiced, ease they switched babies, Abby now content in her mother’s arms and Charlie in her father’s.

“Hey…maybe we could—”

Buttercup shook her head, her eyes trained on Charlie’s sleeping face. If she met those green eyes of his, she’d fall apart for sure.

“No…we can’t.”

Somehow, she knew Jake was nodding. “Right…we can’t.”

Buttercup’s lips trembled but she refused to break. “I guess we’ll be in touch about custody…”

Jake sighed. “Yeah. I’ll be in touch.”

“O-okay…goodbye, Jake.”

Heaviness hung over both of them, the weight of everything they were leaving unsaid sitting like a leaden cloud. “Goodbye, Buttercup.”

London, England, Now

When Charlie awoke the next morning, it was to a growing sense of relief mixed with absolute dread. Relief because she wasn’t holding onto this huge dark secret that had been taking up the majority of her brain power. Uncle Bob knew. He knew and he wasn’t upset. He loved her despite her not being Abby. He loved her despite not seeing her for almost 12 years. He held her and let her cry, then ate ice cream with her and talked about her life in Texas, all the questions she’d been wanting to ask pouring from her lips like some sort of waterfall. Bob knew her secret and still loved her. In fact, he’d known the whole time, but Mom didn’t know. And he wasn’t going to tell her.

That’s where the dread came in. Telling mom. She wasn’t worried that Mom wouldn’t love her once she found out that she wasn’t Charlie, but she was worried about her reaction. Would she cry? How would she react if her Mom started crying right in front of her? What if she was angry at them for doing something so reckless? Charlie didn’t know if she could handle her mom being angry with her. What if she blamed her father? Dad hadn’t known anything about this plan and, according to Abby at least, he was completely clueless about the switch, but if their divorce had been so bad that they had to put an ocean between them, who could say if Mom would get irrationally angry at Dad for letting this happen? Even though Charlie had mixed feelings about her dad and uncles lately, she wouldn’t be able to sit there and listen to her Dad be dragged through the dirt by her Mom. However, she had promised Bob that she would tell her, and she always kept her promises.

Charlie yawned and stretched and rolled out of bed, stopping to get dressed and grab her phone, where a notification from Abby was waiting.

A: Rooster knows.

Charlie’s heart stuttered in her chest.

C: WHAT? HOW?

A: Your stupid horse gave me away. You didn’t tell me she was so skittish.

Crap. She’d known she’d forgotten something, but there wasn’t exactly anything she could do about Lovebug being bonded to her and only her. Dad and Javy had a hard time getting close to her sometimes.

C: Crap. Sorry!

A: It’s okay. He said my lack of football knowledge and my vocabulary gave me away too. But he’s not going to tell Dad.

C: He’s not?

A: Yeah, he said it would be more fun for him to mess with Dad.

Charlie took a deep breath. At least there was that. Javy might have been willing to tell Dad because the two had been best friends since they were kids, so Rooster was the better person to find out anyway.

C: Okay…well, Bob found out too.

A: Oh no!

C: Turns out I’m not very convincing. He figured me out at the airport…in Buffalo.

A: What’s he going to do?

C: He said he wasn’t going to tell Mom…but that I have to.

A: Okay. When are you going to?

C: Today

A: So soon? What if she wants us to switch back?

Charlie frowned, a plan slowly taking form in her mind.

C: That wouldn’t be so bad. We could meet at a hotel in Texas and have them fall back in love with each other there?

A: And Savannah?

Charlie rolled her eyes.

C: I don’t know. But Dad can’t possibly be happy with her. Once he sees Mom again, the engagement will be off, and we’ll get to be a family again.

A: And if that doesn’t work?

C: We’ll figure it out. Together.

That’s what Uncle Bob had said. That they’d figure everything out together. Whether or not their parents fell back in love with each other, they wouldn’t be on their own to figure out a solution to their problems.

A: Okay. Tell me if Mum wants to talk to me?

C: I will…love you

A: Love you too

Charlie tucked her phone away and went downstairs, finding Bob drinking his coffee, dressed in an old Top Gun t-shirt and sweatpants, and Natasha, lounging on the couch, still in her pajamas.

“Good morning, everyone,” the slight British lilt that she had been practicing quavered as Bob met her eyes over the rim of his mug.

“Hey kid,” Nat greeted, shoveling another spoonful of cereal into her mouth.

Bob gently placed his mug down and came over to greet her with a hug. “Sleep well?” he whispered into her hair.

“Better. A lot better after talking to you,” she admitted, relaxing into the hug. “Are you not working today?”

He shook his head, straightening to his full height. “It’s my day off anyway, but I cancelled my plans. Figured you might want some emotional support, so I’ll be here if you need me.”

Charlie squeezed her arms around him, the same way she did with her dad or uncles whenever she was overwhelmed by the way they always had her back.

“Thanks, Uncle Bob,” she whispered, the lilted accent in her voice dropping away for a moment.

“What the hell are you two talking about?” Nat sat up and stared at them over the back of the couch.

Charlie’s eyes shot to Bob’s, but he nodded reassuringly. “Nat should probably know, right? And you can see it as a sort of…rehearsal for telling your mom.”

Gulping, Charlie nodded and turned, squaring her shoulders.

“You two are acting so weird. Is someone dying?” Nat placed her bowl down and stood, coming around to stand in front of her. “Abby, doll, you know you can tell me anything. What is with all the whispering?”

Charlie took a deep breath and looked into her aunt’s eyes, ignoring the clouding and the scar that had stolen her aunt’s career and part of her vision.

“…I’m not,” she replied in a shaky breath.

“You’re not what? Dying? That’s good to know, kid, but I kinda figured.”

“No…I’m not A-Abby,” Charlie swallowed hard.

Nat’s brows furrowed, the silvery scar jumping slightly. “Of course you are,” Nat shook her head. “You’re not making any sense. You’re Abby. You have to be Abby. If you’re not Abby, then you’re…”

Bob stepped closer and put his hand on Natasha’s shoulder.

“I’m what?” Charlie’s throat felt like it was closing up as Nat knelt down so they were eye to eye, her good eye furiously racing over her features as though trying to detect the truth.

“Charlie?” her aunt whispered, looking up to Bob for confirmation as Charlie nodded hesitantly. “Holy shit…Charlie?”

“Language, Nat,” Bob admonished with a chuckle as Charlie was swept off her feet into a bear hug that left her ribs aching and her heart singing.

“Oh, fuck off!” Nat placed Charlie on her feet and whirled around to meet her former partner. “You knew and you didn’t tell me? How long have you known? How long has he known?”

“I always knew,” Bob said with a shrug, retreating behind the kitchen counter as Nat advanced on him.

“Always…always knew? You mean you’ve known this entire freaking time? And you didn’t tell me? What the hell, Robert?”

Bob winced slightly. “I figured it wasn’t my secret to tell. And could you keep your voice down, please? My sister doesn’t know yet.”

“Your sist…Buttercup doesn’t know?” Nat gaped at them both. “Okay, we are sitting down right now, and you are telling me the whole story. Now.”

“Yes, ma’am,” uncle and niece sat on the couch, their proverbial tails tucked between their legs.

Nat sat in the armchair across from them and folded her arms. “Speak.”

“Before I do,” blurted Charlie. “Where’s mom?”

Nat rolled her eyes. “Apparently, she dreamt up a solution to her plot problem and just had to write it down while it was fresh. She’s been at it since 4 a.m., and I don’t see her coming down any time soon.”

“Okay…” Charlie took a deep breath and launched into the story: being sent to Penny’s camp, meeting Abby and immediately disliking her, the shoving match that led to them being sent to the brig, finding the photos from Las Vegas, Amelia telling them about their parents’ marriage, and, finally, their brilliant idea to switch places so they could meet their missing parent. “We plan on telling them the truth at the end of the week and refusing to switch back unless they meet in person.”

Nat studied her, brow furrowed and eyes never leaving her face. “What are you two hoping to achieve with this?”

Charlie bit her thumb nail and shrugged. “Best case scenario? They figure out a better custody arrangement so I’ll still get to see mom and Abby can still see dad. Dream scenario?” Charlie blushed. “Mom and dad fall back in love and we won’t need a custody arrangement at all.”

Natasha shook her head. “Sorry to burst your bubble, kid, but I don’t think that dream is gonna come true. Even getting a better custody arrangement would be really difficult. Sure, there’s no global pandemic to contend with now, but trying to line up visitation while your dad runs the risk of getting deployed would make it—”

“Dad’s not getting deployed anymore,” Charlie interrupted. “He—”

“Okay, so he got promoted enough so that he’s not going to be called away from home to deal with a crisis. And trust me, there’s always some crisis or another that’ll keep your dad away from San Diego.”

“We don’t live in San Diego, Auntie Nat.”

Nat stopped rambling and looked at her. “Okay then, where do you live?”

“On the ranch in Texas with Uncle Rooster and Uncle Javy.”

Bob leaned forward. “Javy and Rooster live with you too?”

“Yeah, they retired from the Navy the same day you did. How do you guys not know this? Didn’t you keep in touch with anyone from the Dagger Squad? Mickey or Reuben or Kally?” Charlie stared at them, aghast. She’d always assumed that the members of the Dagger Squad had kept in touch with each other, even if Uncle Bob and Natasha had become mom’s support system after the divorce, same as Javy and Rooster had become dad’s.

They both slowly shook their heads. “We, uh…we kind of lost contact with everyone after we left the Navy,” Bob replied. “It all happened so fast, Charlie. We were given the option of retiring or moving on to a different unit, and that was that.”

“But why? I thought you guys were a team? A family? That’s what Aunt Penny always says! How could you just lose touch with them?”

“Because it was too damn hard, that’s why,” Natasha bit out, an unreadable look in her eyes. “Because I didn’t want to hear about them flying missions and hitting me with the “Sorry, Phoenix, but it’s classified” line whenever I ask about their work, if I ever asked about their work. Because I didn’t want their damn pity. Because it was hard enough being a female pilot, but almost losing my eye and being grounded? That was damn near unbearable.”

Charlie shrank back in her seat and nodded. “Oh…sorry.”

Bob placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay, Charlie. It’s not your fault. It’s nobody’s fault, really. Sometimes it’s just easier to say goodbye and let everyone go their separate ways instead of trying to hang onto something that’s not there anymore. I tried to reach out to a few people on the team, including your dad, but they were either always deployed or their numbers weren’t reachable or their numbers had changed. That’s what happens sometimes, kiddo. That’s just life.”

Charlie bit her lip, the question she had been longing to ask pushing against her lips until she finally asked, “So…that’s what happened? It’s not that you didn’t want me? It’s that you couldn’t reach my dad?”

Bob wrapped an arm around her shoulders as Nat slid onto the couch cushion next to her, the two of them pulling her into a hug.

“Of course we wanted you, Charlie,” Nat whispered. “We missed you like crazy, kid.”

Bob pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Your mom wanted you too. And she’s going to be so happy when she finds out you’re here.”

Charlie pulled away and chanced a glance over the back of the couch towards the stairs. “I…I should go tell her.”

Bob nodded. “Yeah, kiddo. You should. I’ll be right here if you need me.”

Charlie stood and Natasha jabbed an elbow into Bob’s gut. “You mean, we’ll be right here if you need us.”

Charlie grinned as Bob rubbed his stomach. “Thanks guys.”

She turned and faced the stairs, feeling like her stomach was somewhere near her feet. Then, she started to climb.

Charlie stood outside her mother’s bedroom, hand poised to knock, but her stomach was still living somewhere near her feet and her hand was shaking so badly that she was afraid that she would miss the door completely when she tried to knock.

Everything was happening so quickly. Just last month, she had been an only child on a ranch full of men. Now, she was a twin with three uncles and an aunt and, most importantly, two parents who loved and wanted her. Or so Bob and Natasha had said. She knew that they loved her, but the fear that her mother would end up rejecting her was so strong that it made her want to run out of the house and hide somewhere. But she couldn’t. She had promised Bob and Natasha and besides that, she didn’t want to live somewhere she wasn’t accepted for who she was. So, if mom rejected her, she would happily go back to Texas and live a happy ever after life with her family, who was clearly trying to protect her.

Nodding determinedly at the solution she had formulated in her head, she knocked quickly on the door and stuck her head in, spotting her mother folded into her writing chair.

“Hey babe,” Buttercup yawned, tilting her computer screen down. “Sorry I didn’t come down for breakfast. I thought I solved my issues; I had this whole dream about the solution. But the characters don’t want to listen to me. I swear, Abby, it makes me want to throw in the towel.”

Charlie fiddled with her fingers as she listened. The past few days, she had loved listening to her mother talk about her stories and how she teased out the plot points, but now she felt guilt and anxiety weigh on her heart. As much as she wanted to act tough, she desperately wanted her mother to love her for her, not because she thought she was Abby.

“Mom? Can we talk about something?”

In less than a second, she watched Buttercup go from author mode to mom mode. She stood, pulled her light cotton robe over her pajamas and stretched, putting a gentle hand between her shoulder blades and steering her towards the bed.

“Of course, Abby. Hop on up and we can talk about whatever you want.”

Buttercup propped herself up against the pillows and turned her body towards Charlie, who crawled into the left side of the bed and hugged a pillow to her chest.

“I…” To her horror, Charlie felt tears well up in her eyes. She slammed them shut before any could escape and felt her hands tremble.

The mattress shifted and warm arms encircled her before Buttercup spoke. “Abby, sweetheart, what’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything.”

“I…I don’t want you to get mad,” Charlie whimpered into her mother’s shoulder.

“Sweetheart, I don’t think it’s possible for me to get mad at you,” Buttercup hummed, pulling her close and rocking her gently side to side. “Remember when you accidentally kidnapped Mr. Tomkit’s cat? You were holding poor Shadow hostage in your closet and dressing him up for tea for three days before we found out. Did I get mad then?”

Charlie’s tears streamed down her face. “I…I don’t know,” she murmured truthfully. Abby had never shared that story with her.

“Of course I didn’t,” Buttercup replied in a soft voice. “You were only six. The point is, whatever happened, an accident or a mistake, we’ll figure it out like we always do, yeah? It’s you and me, sweetheart. It always has been, and we’ve managed well so far, haven’t we?”

“B-but what if this time makes you not love me anymore?” The question leapt forth before she could stop it, the question she had been both dying to ask and too afraid of hearing the answer.

Buttercup’s hands found Charlie’s shoulders and eased her away just enough to look in her eyes. “Abigail Juliet Floyd, nothing could ever make me not love you anymore. Nothing in this whole universe. You hear me?”

“But I’m not Abby! I’m Charlie!” she sobbed, her hands raising to cover her face. “Abby and I met at camp, and she really wanted to meet dad and I really wanted to meet you, so we swapped places!” To Charlie, it was as though everything had been frozen in time. She couldn’t hear the birds chirping outside her mother’s window or Auntie Nat’s trashy tv shows playing on the tv downstairs. Nothing moved and nothing sounded in the longest minute of Charlotte Delta Seresin’s life.

And then, those warm arms wrapped around her tightly and held her close. “My baby…my sweet Charlotte…”

Charlie flung her arms around her mother and buried her head in her neck, breathing in the hibiscus and jasmine perfume and feeling the soft silk of her mother’s pajamas under her cheek. “You’re not m-mad?” Charlie whispered.

She fought her hands not to cling to her mother as she pulled away, just far enough to look at her. “How could I be mad?” Charlie’s heart clenched at the sight of the pearly tears clinging to her mother’s cheeks. “It’s really you, Charlie?”

Charlie nodded meekly, tucking her feet up underneath her. “Abby taught me everything about her life while we were at camp. She wanted to meet dad so badly, and I always dreamed of meeting you. I was so scared to tell you because I was afraid you left me because you didn’t want me…”

Buttercup’s gentle fingers traced over her daughter’s features, sadness filling her eyes. “I’ve loved you and wanted you since before you were even born, Charlie,” she whispered. “I…I’m so sorry we failed you, love. It’s no excuse, but this was never supposed to be permanent. We just let time get away from us, I suppose. But please…you need to know that I missed you every single day, sweetpea. I love you so much.”

Charlie let herself relax into Buttercup’s arms, her tears slowing and her breathing steadying. “I love you too, mom.”

A few hours later, the three Floyds and their honorary fourth member sat clustered around Buttercup’s computer, a Zoom call open in front of them as they waited for the call to be answered.

“I still can’t believe you knew before I did. A mother is supposed to know her own children,” Buttercup worried her lower lip as she stared at Bob, on the other side of Charlie.

“In Charlie’s defence, she really pulled the act together once she got to the house,” Bob replied. “And in your defence, you do know your children. It might have just been too difficult for you to even try to rationalize that the girl in front of you might not be Abby.” Bob shot Buttercup a meaningful look as the dark screen in front of them suddenly filled with colour.

“Uncle Roo, you need to back up,” they heard Abby gripe. “They can only see your shirt right now.”

Rooster backed up and sat in a chair behind a desk, Abby perched next to him.

“Hey, old man,” Natasha teased.

Bradley huffed slightly, a light smile dancing across his face. “Hey yourself, Phoenix. Hey Buttercup.”

Buttercup’s face filled with fondness. “Hey Bradley, how are you?”

He shrugged as the pixels danced across the screen. “Can’t complain. How’s my girl? Ow! Sorry, Jesus. I mean, how’s my other girl?” he shot a glare at Abby, who grinned back at him.

“Hey Uncle Roo,” Charlie beamed at him through the camera. “Hey Abby!”

“Hey Charlie, hey Auntie Nat! Hey Uncle Bob, Charlie told me you figured it out right away!”

Bob nodded once and pushed his glasses up. “You’re one of a kind, Abby. No emulating it.”

“Damn, you figured it out right away?” Rooster whistled through his teeth. “It took me a couple of days to figure it out. You two never thought to teach your girl about American football? Javy thought she got a brain transplant at camp.”

Buttercup and Bob chuckled but Natasha remained suspiciously silent as Charlie filled them in on how life was in England and Abby filled them in on all the Texas goings on.

“…and dad’s engaged to this dreadful woman who wants to go wedding venue shopping on Saturday!” Abby groaned.

“Abby,” Buttercup admonished. “You just met this woman. Give her time to adjust. I’m sure it was quiet something when your father told her that his daughters had switched places.”

“Oh, well, actually…” Abby started.

“Yeah, she didn’t take it that great, Buttercup,” Bradley cut in, giving Abby a little nudge with his elbow. “Remember, kid?”

“Oh…uh…yeah. She didn’t take it that well at all.”

Charlie would blame the emotional day for the fact that her mother didn’t pick up on the strange behaviour behind the screen at all.

“So, give her some time, and she’ll…she’ll come around,” Buttercup gulped slightly and reached for her bottle of water.

“Yeah, I’m sure she will,” Rooster rolled his eyes. “Why don’t y’all come to Texas for the weekend? We’re stayin’ at some fancy hotel in Austin for the weekend while Savannah looks around at different venues. She wanted to make it a weekend getaway. But you guys should come so you and Hangman can figure out an arrangement that keeps these two from pulling a Trading Places again.”

Buttercup was chewing on her bottom lip again. “I…I don’t know. It’s supposed to be a wedding related trip. I wouldn’t feel comfortable crashing it.”

“You wouldn’t be crashing it,” Rooster replied. “Jake invited you. He wants to figure out a solution too, before the wedding.”

Buttercup sighed heavily, the breath tinged with sadness. “Yeah…yeah, that makes sense. Bob, can you—”

“I’ll clear my schedule so I can go with you, and I’ll book our flights there,” Bob replied, his phone already in his hand.

Buttercup smiled gratefully. “Natasha—”

“I’ll keep in contact with the old man and make sure we book the right hotel,” Natasha replied, fixing Rooster with a glare that would have paralyzed him if they were in the same time zone.

Buttercup sighed resignedly. “Okay, then. I guess we’ll all see you on Saturday.”

“See you then, Buttercup,” Rooster winked.

“Bye mum! I love you!”

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

Rooster whipped around as a voice rang out behind them. “Mum? Buttercup? Dude, what the hell is—”

“Gotta go, mum! Bye!” Abby shouted as she slammed the laptop screen down, cutting off the call.

“Well, that wasn’t ominous at all,” Natasha muttered.

Buttercup’s worried face reflected back at her on the darkened screen. “Oh god…what have I gotten myself into?”

Rooster glared at Javy. “Nice going, dipshit.”

“What? Me? Who the hell were you talking to on that call, man? Because I only know one Buttercup and—”

“And what, Uncle Javy?” Abby blinked up at him innocently. “Who is Buttercup?”

Javy gaped at her. “She…uh…she’s, um…”

Rooster rolled his eyes. “Cut the guy some slack, would ya, Abby?”

Abby’s grin widened as Javy’s mouth dropped even further. “Nah…man, there ain’t no way…”

“You didn’t think it was suspicious that Penny wouldn’t quit pesterin’ us both until we got Hangman to agree to send Charlie to camp on that specific day? You don’t think it’s weird that Lovebug treats her like she’s a stranger? You never noticed that your favourite assistant coach knows jack all about football now?”

Javy crouched down in front of her. “You’re not Charlie, are you?” Abby shook her head and Javy’s eyes welled with tears. “C-can I hug you, darlin’?” Abby nodded with a smile, and she was suddenly scooped up into a massive hug. “Oh my god, man…this is unbelievable!”

“What’s unbelievable?”

The three turned to see Jake standing behind them in the doorway of the office, his arms folded across his chest.

“Hey, man,” Rooster greeted. “What’s up?”

“Was just coming to try to find my daughter.”

Abby gulped. She hadn’t really spoken to her father since her blow up at the news of his engagement. The news still weighed heavily on her, but Rooster’s plan would work, she just knew it. Plus, she would get to see her mum soon, and that always made her feel better.

“H-hey, dad.”

Jake’s face softened. “Hey Charlie, I was hoping we could have a chat before dinner. Just you and me.”

Javy opened his mouth and Abby pinched him hard on the shoulder blade, out of view of her father.

“Sure, dad. I think that’s a good idea. Can you put me down, Uncle Javy?” Javy hesitated but Abby begged him with her eyes not to blow this for them, and he conceded.

“Sure…Charlie.”

Abby smiled at him as she went to her father’s side.

“We’ll see y’all at dinner, alright?” Jake nodded at them as he let the office door close behind him.

“Alright, dude, you’re gonna tell me what’s goin’ on right now, or I swear to god, I’m telling Jake why that pair of men’s boxer shorts were hanging outside his window.”

“Relax, Coyote,” Rooster sat back in his chair and kicked his feet up on the desk. “You and me are gonna have a lot of fun with Hangman this weekend.”

Tags List: @mamachasesmayhem @mamamaystbr @jessicab1991 @waltermis @buckysteveloki-me @allepaula @yuckosworld @bradshawssugarbaby @ahopelessromanticwritersworld @kim-stark @cierra715 @high-speed-r @helpmepleasethanks @starsrfun @tomanyfandomstrash @averyhotchner @the-blueatlas @princessliz86 @dashes-dizzydisaster @a-girl-who-loves-disney @boiolay @djs8891 @torimcc @tgmreader @kmc1989 @landpiranha-blog @sydthekid1518 @lynnevanss @hello7442 @mackenzieblair @minejungwoo @starset21 @ssa-sadboi @tgmavericklover @dempy @rockbottomphilosophies-blog @lovemarvelousfics @starkleila @magical-spit @whatislovevavy @simplyreading96 @vivalas-vega @itsdesiree86 @inky-sun @books-are-escapes @abaker74 @devil-angel-winchester @mrs-perfectly-fine @inthestars-underthesun

#jake seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin #jake hangman fic #jake seresin #top gun maverick #top gun fanfiction #parent trap au #as you wish fic #glen powell #tgm fanfiction #tgm fic #jake hangman x reader #jake hangman x you

[homunculus-argument]

I try to go out of my way to let people know if I like something that they're doing, because people don't really notice the good things of themselves or aren't aware that other people notice. Or occasionally, they might not be aware that something about them that they're not observing is a positive thing. It reflects and bounces back and forth, and we all need some random positivity around.

Made a post a while ago about this guy whom I met through my publisher, whose name I had honestly forgotten/missed completely, wanting to note down how this dude made me see just how much the southern US kind of rural "redneck" stereotype that I'd only seen depicted - largely in a negative, classist light - really is rooted in a genuine type of people, who not only exist, but are just the same type of people as my mother's side of the family in rural Finland. And that weren't for the complete language barrier between people who don't speak a word of english, and people who don't speak a word of finnish, they'd have much to talk about - more in common than I really do with either of them.

What I hadn't expected were a few people tagging the post as "gender goals" - I honestly hadn't even thought of this cultural observation from a gender presentation point of view - but I thought that he himself might find this amusing. After sending my publishers the initial message I realised that wait shit, they're all late millenial bordering-on-gen-X cis guys, I'll need to translate this. I started going into what the hell any of that even means, explaining the concept of transition goals, of how trans people go about gathering inspiration of just what kind of men/women/nb they want to be, and taking notes of the kind of gender presentation they personally like.

Typing it out, I kind of started also getting a clearer picture of how much of a significance that kind of thing can have, even when remarked half-jokingly. Of what I put together, this guy has been in kind of a rough patch in life - freshly divorced after getting married too young, he's been up in the air in his mid-30s trying to figure out how to build up a life in his own image as an independent adult, after marrying his high school sweetheart wasn't Happily Ever After after all.

So maybe he would like to know that there's people on the internet who are trying to figure out how to present themselves, and what kind of a man they want to be, who read my rough description of my impression of him - that I wrote without thinking much more about it at all - and thought "I like what this guy is doing. This is what I'd like for myself."

[phoeebsbuffay]

Imagine you are Hayden Christensen's closest friend from college and you help him going through his divorce. Will friendship be enough for either of you? Based on the request made by @calzone-d ...

Warnings: *long post*, drama, explicit smut, fluffy endings.

Recommendations: "Summertime Sadness", "Ride", by Lana Del Rey; “Scared to be Lonely” by Dua Lipa; “Here with me”, by the Killers; “Always” by Gavin James.

***

How it started...

You were 19 years old when you finally got the chance to study cinema at Y/C's university. An old dream you had, to be able to transmit onscreen all your ideas. Your family encouraged you to pursuit the academy of arts in order to become an actress, but you thought yourself too introspective to act.

Well, here you were when you met him. The one who was destined to remain a principal figure in your life over the years. Taking acting classes--well, you did need to study it anyway--you bumped into Hayden Christensen.

"Excuse me", he said to you, a little out of breath.."Is this the acting class with Miss H/N? I fear I am slightly late..."

You remembered finding his blue eyes the handsomest pair of eyes you ever came across with: they were intense, secretive, but friendly too, somewhat emotional. You were instantly captivated.

"Yes, it is. And you are not in the slightest late, young man, but /very/ late indeed. Come in, take your seat, I'll have you updated..."

He gives you a long gaze, relieved for being saved from a bigger trouble—and you can tell he is a freshman like you.

“My name is Y/N”, you side smirk at him.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N. I am Hayden.”

You both shake hands. Something ignites within, but you think it’s because he has such a good aura…

*

“You are such a great actress!”, he is telling you, so many months later. “Quit with the production, you are better than me in decorating the lines.”

You grimace, which makes him laugh. The sound of his laughter is so comforting, like this call to your home.

“I don’t like this acting thing”, you dismiss his compliments nonchalantly. Today, you are in a cafeteria, celebrating the end of another semester. One more to go and you will be ready to keep up with your lives, though you and Hayden had vowed to each other never to be apart. “I feel more comfortable behind the cameras. By the way, I just had this idea!”

And then you lean to him, ready to shake him by his shoulders. He nearly chokes with his coke—but then laughing as always because your impulsiveness often brings him to laughters.

“For the love of God, woman. Do you want to see me dead before the time?”

You side smirk, silently apologizing with your puppy eyes. Hayden smiles back, before encouraging with what you had to say with only a nod. As you do, he seems to suddenly notice how nice your hair looks this day.

“I just had the greatest idea ever! I could film your audition and send to George Lucas. The Star Wars director is looking for someone of our age to portray young Anakin Skywalker. You know, before he becomes Darth Vader, of course.”

Hayden is taken aback by what you tell him. You can see the mix of sentiments that rises behind his blue eyes: insecurity, suspicious before reasoning to excitement.

“What? Are you for real, Y/N? How come did you hear about it? I mean…”

You tell him how your internship led you to it. This is how the fun begins, how both of you in fact begin your career.

*

You are there in every moment of his life: when Hayden has to conciliate his last semester with the filming of “Episode II: Attack of the Clones”, when he tells you that he and his on-screen romantic pair are having a thing.

He is also present at your graduation, the moment when you begin to transit to adulthood. What about it when you get yourself drunk for the very first time?

He is there too.

“I hate the taste of alcohol”, you grumble, unsure how come you are at his couch. “It aches my stomach, makes me sick.”

Hayden chuckles at how all of a suddenly you turn into these kind of discoveries after spending five years in college doing nothing but well behaving. However, due to such a strong bond you two share, he takes care of you.

“This is the moment where I tell you something you told me once: better to put out than to swallow all in.”

You raise your face, eyes twinkling with amusement.

“Did you just hear yourself?!”

“Wasn’t that what you told me?”

“No!”, you laugh hard at his remark. “Oh my God, H!”

He chuckles after you.

“Well, it did make you laugh, didn’t it?”

***

• The subtle changes…

You are single again. Your ex dumped you. Coincidently, Hayden is single as well. He’s also been going through a difficult phase in his life after all the critics coming from the fans of “Star Wars”. “Episode III” of the franchise didn’t go that well and even though it’s been a year since it’s release, he’s still affected by it.

“We’ve been through so much together”, Hayden tells you one day. “We should definitely do something new for a change.”

“I agree”, you sigh. Currently unemployed, you haven’t been yourself lately either. “Any thoughts?”

“A good journey would do us well. Let us go to Scotland”, so he says, excited. “Come on, Y/N. I’ll let you drive!”

You chuckle at his old tendency to be so reckless. And you do so because you can’t refuse him anything. A bad omen you clearly ignore, of course.

“Very well. When should we do this trip?”

But why’d you bother to ask when you know the answer? Hayden smiles warmly at him.

Oh that damn smile…

“Tomorrow. I’ve already bought the tickets and booked the hotel.”

You scoff at him, offended.

“What? Why? Are you taking me for granted, Christensen? For the love of God…”

Just like that he lifts you up and throws you over his shoulder, smiling as you scream out of surprise. As he puts you down, Hayden messes with your hair, delighted when seeing he’s the reason of your amusement.

And he realizes this is a nice view to contemplate: the sight of your smile, the sound of your laughters, the joy that sparks in your eyes… Seeing you like this makes him genuinely smile in his turn and forget about his bad phase.

But he doesn’t realize that this may mean something else. Or perhaps he doesn’t want to. It’s been years now since you and him became the closest of the friends, so what if all of this is just the result of genuine admiration from one friend to the other?

Regardless, he’s going to take you with him to Scotland. And so you go with him… It is wild to consider how you are usually all straight, not doing nothing that goes out the line all the whilst Hayden is more prompted to take chances and live the present quite intently.

On that fact you blame him being very aries all the whilst you, as taurus lady, prefer to know where you are going. However, he makes life so interesting that even you, as already observed, cannot deny him anything.

So here you are now at Edinburgh.

“I love everything that is medieval”, you tell him excitedly with a spark in your eyes that makes Hayden smile. He does like when you speak passionately about the things you are interested. “I cannot believe I took so long to come here!”

“Yeah, me neither!”

It is a good time to be alive, both of you agree. The landscape is seductive, peaceful, traits much sought after such a bad period you both went through. People too are kind, albeit reserved, but very pleasant.

Those days are being built in your memory as something great to be remembered, but perhaps there is just more that neither seem too attentive…

“Lady, one bedroom with two beds”, asks Hayden, when you got to London eventually because he, of course, is a man who plans very little—much to your distress, the woman who likes everything settled.

But this is not any hotel, but a fanciful one. The said lady looks at him pitifully.

“Mr Christensen, my apologies, but there is only a suite with one bed.”

You two blush, but Hayden somehow doesn’t mind it. This is when you realize you not only don’t mind it but you also want it…badly. Perhaps that’s why you sabotage it.

“You know what? Let’s make it for another day. Come now, Hayden. Thank you”, you blurt out, pushing him outside.

“What the hell was that?”, he frowns at you. “Y/N, what’s wrong with sharing a bed? Do you honestly think anything would happen or what?”

He doesn’t realize his words hurt you, but in truth there is more than his subtle frustration at your refusal allows him to admit. There is an unspoken rising desire between you.

And of course you have to ruin everything.

“I just… please don’t be upset! It’s because I cannot afford it and…” and you tell him the other reason for it, which appeases his anger and is more palpable than you’d care to admit: you are expecting an interview.

Hayden softens, naturally, but you know he’s changed. You hate it because you know why. There are so many things that suddenly rise in your throat but they die choked.

Somehow Hayden knows it too. But he chickens away. He hugs you instead, not willing to lose his best friend.

“I’m sorry for being such an impulsive jackass. But we did have a great time, didn’t we?”

Oh but if only you knew what waits for you back to US…

***

• The marriage

Here you are, dressed in yellow, standing as a maid in honor for the bride and groom. Your heart breaks because you realize a little too late that you are in love with your best friend.

Worse is: had you accepted to share one bed with Hayden in London, everything would be different. Yeah, you may not have gotten that job as a producer of that movie, but Hayden wouldn’t meet Rachel Bilson.

Nonetheless, here you are. Celebrating their vows, wondering if you could be there for a moment, what would be like if you were her.

“Hey, Y/Nickname!”, Hayden exclaims after the ceremony is over. He is wearing his gorgeous smile and dressed in fanciful robes, which all highlights his handsomeness. But you have learned to bury everything deep inside your heart. A secret that you’d take to your grave.

“I can’t believe you are married, Hay!”, you giggle when you greet him with a tight embrace. “I’m so happy for you! Oh my God, look how grown up you are!”

He laughs quietly.

“I know right? Who’d ever thought? The idea of marriage was hardly ever entertained for me”, so he says.

“Oh right! As I told Rachel once, I do have recollections of your drunkenness state and all that came between”, you laugh too, remembering the first time he had a hangover.

“What a time to be alive”, says Hayden in his typical good mood.

As you speak, you do seem to come to terms that if he is happy, so are you. You are at peace with it at long last. Hayden, on his turn, for a time seems to have suspected that you harbored feelings for him. But he always ignored it for the sake of your friendship. Now seeing how genuinely happy you are for him, certainly he believes it was all a thing of his head.

But why does he have a bittersweet taste of it?

“Could you introduce me to that man over there?” You nudge his sides, pointing to a handsome man that is not very far from Rachel herself.

Hayden raises an eyebrow.

“Really, now, Y/N?”

“You don’t expect me to be a nun, do you?”

He chuckles.

“Well I don’t want to see you get hurt, is all…”

Quite unwillingly, though, he leads the way. And maybe the night will not end that bad for you, after all.

***

•The divorce and the consequences…

In fact, looking back now it was really a great job pushing Hayden to introduce the guy to you because he ended up becoming your boyfriend.

This new relationship of yours, however, changed the dynamics of your friendship with Hayden for some time—but maybe it was all because he was living a different life now, becoming a father in the process.

A few years rolled upon, though, when everything started to fall apart—for you and Hayden. You found out that your new relationship was damaged because you and your boyfriend were scared to be lonely. A crisis developed to fights, to exchange of words that only broke hearts.

In the meantime, Hayden realized how long he missed his best friend. His own marriage started to fall apart, but the more it broke down, the more he needed you again.

Was it a selfish wish to have you by his side? Such questionings never reached you out due to his pride, that masked his hurt. Perhaps he was only scared to be lonely too. He could deal with it himself.

Nonetheless, destiny—the same destiny that pushed one from the other—is about to bring you two together again. One call and your night would be different.

You are single now, ready to go out that night with your girlfriends when suddenly a phone call startles you. It’s Hayden. Your heart races: he hasn’t been the one to call, and hasn’t done so for a long while.

“Hey, H. How are you? Haven’t heard of you for some time. Is everything ok?”, you ask, concerned.

There is a pause that accelerates your heart. You know he is not well. Before he answers, you immediately add:

“I’ll be in your home in a few minutes.”

“I’ll give you the new address. I’m not living with Rachel anymore: we got divorced.”

You are stunned upon those words. Now your silence leaves Hayden uncomfortable. He breaks it by saying:

“Y/Nickname? Are you there?”

“Yes, honey, I am. I’m so sorry, Hay. Please stay there… I’ll be on my way.”

He chuckles.

“Where else would I go to?”

In a matter of minutes, after requesting an Uber, you, dressed the way you are, arrive to his new home. Hayden side smirks when seeing you, though how he eyes you up and down makes you blush lightly.

“Wow, Y/N. Looking hot, aren’t you?”, he laughs when seeing the pink painting your cheeks, hugging you tight when receiving you. “Please tell me I didn’t ruin your night.”

You slap his shoulder playfully, eyes rolling at his drama.

“Don’t say bullshit to me, Christensen. I just wish I knew it properly before. I hope you don’t mind me looking like this.”

“You have always been a distraction to my eyes”, he teases you, pleased to see nothing has really changed between the two of you. “We need some wine, it’s not really a warming night, I suppose.”

As you look into his new apartment, he promptly gets the best wine to serve you. Without your knowledge, Hayden’s eyes follow your moves: noticing your y/c hair is now on your shoulders, how vivid your eyes are, remaining as observing and curious as before.

He cannot help admiring you physically too: though this is a cold night and you are dressed accordingly, when you drop your black coat on his coach, he sees your warming blouse shows some skin.

Indeed, Y/N, looking as hot and beautiful as always. Such is his thought.

He never really told you but Rachel was jealous of you. According to her, she could see you harbored feelings for him and part of her feared Hayden would correspond. Nonsense, he’d tell her.

But now, was she really so wrong? Yet, another and more important question he asks himself is: how could have he let go of you? Not only about matters of sentimentalism, but you’ve been an important piece of his life.

Seeing you back hurts his heart because he now sees the stupidity in letting go of you. He wishes he could have asked you to wait for him, to never let go of you. But this is such a state of complex selfishness that he quiets his internal riot and puts a smile on his lips when bringing the two of you the best wine he has, aware you prefer the sweet ones.

“I was admiring your new apartment”, you tell him, smiling in thanks as he passes you a full glass. “Whoa, looks like we are having a full drinking night, aren’t we? Christensen, I am not that young anymore. Not sure I am prepared to have a full hangover again.”

Hayden cracks loud and the sound of his laughters makes your heart skip a beat. Nothing feels different, you think, pleased.

“I’m bringing us something to eat, silly head. Besides I’ve always taken care of you, right?”

“That is true”, you agree. “But what are we having to eat today?”

“Always hungry, eh?”, he teases you.

You shrug playfully before saying:

“What can I do? I am a Taurus, you know it!”

He rolls his eyes, laughing loud again at your remarks—and that sound has always made your heart race, hasn’t it?

“Not with that astrology nonsense again!”

You slap his arm playfully before joining him in chuckles.

“Always with that astrology nonsense, silly.”

It is not until pizza is brought to you that the serious conversation is finally there.

“So what happened, Hayden?”, you ask him softly.

He sighs heavily, avoiding your gaze. He is silent, but you are patient, giving some time, for which he appreciates it.

“How often do we fall for the idea our minds make of the person?”, says he, sounding frustrated. “Not rarely we come to romantic ideas of marriage that break before the crude reality, you know? It’s not just about being different, Y/N, it’s… the commitment, I suppose, in making everything right. Turns out we had very different ideas of making it right.”

“I’m sorry, Hay. I really am”, you speak gently, taking his hand to yours, realizing how broken he is makes your heart sensitive to his pain.

He appreciates it, but when feeling your skin against him, Hayden is remembered the days before he met Rachel. The way he made you smile, the jokes that brought him to laughters. How easily it was to be around you, how you softened him. He, who was never a sentimental man, hugged you more times than he realized.

But Hayden sweeps away such memories.

“I am too. But I am fine now”, he shrugs. “I mean, not entirely recovered, but better than being broken.”

“Take your time, it’s the best you can do. How long has it been going on?”

Hayden hesitates but says:

“Six months.”

Your eyes go wide and your voice comes louder than expected:

“YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH A DIVORCE SIX MONTHS AGO?”

At least he has the decency to blush.

“Hayden! How could you keep me in secret for such a long time?!”

You’d remove his hand but Hayden doesn’t let you to. Pulling you to his side, he says, almost in a tone of desperation:

“I thought I could handle this by myself”, he explains. “I really didn’t want to bother you…”

Perhaps it’s the wine, but your tongue runs loose with words that have long been choked in your throat.

“And what am I to you? A second option, a plan B that didn’t work out? You’ve kicked me out of your life, Hayden. You’ve never called me to ask me if I was doing ok!”

He gives you a painful look that makes you regret instantly of what you said. You’d think he let go of you and a fight would come—this happened once when both of you were drunk, though by then you were both silly and immature.

“I’ve got a war in my mind for a long while”, he exclaims, holding your wrist and he pulls you even closer to him. “I was fucking stupid, I screwed it, I know. But never would I kick you out of my heart, Y/N! And I… I’m sorry I was fucking blinded by my pain. But only because I feared to hurt you.”

You await for his burst to end, very familiar with his intensity—but when his blue eyes search for yours, your soul is denuded.

Oh fuck.

“I stepped away because he was a douchebag”, he proceeds. “You deserved better than such a man, Y/N. I’ve heard of his doings but I couldn’t reach you out when… when I was in the mid of a crisis myself.”

“You’ve always been too shut in yourself to let others in”, you sigh. “But what relation is there with the fact I was in a relationship?”

“You deserved better”, he says with greeted teeth, holding your face with his hands, both of you barely noticing how your bodies have been dancing dangerously close to each other. “You are still slow after all this time?”

You are shocked, perplexed by his words. You freeze. Hayden smiles slowly at your reaction.

“I feel it everywhere, nothing scares me anymore. I won’t let you go. Now now, not ever. Fuck, I married the wrong person. Heaven has always been my favourite place on Earth when I was with you.”

“You have always been the best”, you mumble incoherently.

Just like that your lips clash against his. In between fervent kisses, where he pulls you to his lap, no reason is admitted. Not anymore.

“I’ve missed you, Y/Nickname”, he groans against your lips. “Like the sun misses the moon.”

“Always the romantic”, you chew his bottom lip as your hands run over his hair, pulling it gently. “Don’t want your memories anymore. Fuck, Christensen, you took so long.”

“This is not a game, I swear”, he breaks the kiss to pursuit your skin, his tongue already on your neck as his hands hold your hips, making you feel his rigid pants.

“Oh Lord. My worst sin is to never be able to refuse you anything”, you hate how wine makes you speak your mind.

Raising his head to watch you intently, he messes with your hair before holding your chin, drawing you closer to him.

Oh that intensity that involves one to the other!

“Then make me a sinner too for giving you all that you deserve.”

You crawl over him, you know you do, when your tongue pursuits his, one pairs the other rhythmically, perfectly. And then he lies you there on the couch, hands already working to remove your pants.

His eyes are set on yours like that of a hunter about to capture his prey. He knows you are on fire and that he is the gasoline. You lean partly to remove his shirt, hands all over him. You gasp when feeling his muscles under your touch and you want more, but…

“Patience, Y/Nickname”, his voice is husky and domineering when laying you down again.

“Yes, Master”, you giggle softly, in such a state that makes you both smile to the other.

And just like that his hands find way to your thighs, gently parting before inserting one right there in your feminine parts, not really taking away your panties for such.

“Oh, God!” You moan sensually, enjoying his eyes on you as he works wonderfully on you. “This is better than I thought!”

“Is it?”, he groans softly in your ear. “How long have you been thinking about it, dear one?”

“For a long while! God knows how much…”, another moan breaks you, earning him a smirk. “Hayden…”

“Yeah?”

“I fucked him thinking about you”, you admit.

His eyes dart, his body shakes lightly with desire. Slowly moving on top of you, his moves increase intently, watching you with desire.

“Damned be you for never speaking your thoughts to me”, he lifts your blouse gently but you help him removing it. As he starts to kiss your neck down to your chest, your legs begin to get heavy at his tenderness. “You should have spoken it to me…”

“Never had I the courage to do so”, you moan, enjoying having his hand over your neck lightly as he bites down your bra, slowly removing it with his mouth.

“For you should. It would have spared us some time. I fucked her thinking of you too”, he admits it drunkly before burying his lips to your nipple, much to your delight.

Hayden ruins you and it’s better than you could have thought. You want him to yourself, to make him unspeakable things but it’s difficult to do or say anything when his lips are so occupied with each nipple, twirling his tongue around it, sucking and biting it.

The sounds in his living room go louder each time. You are brought to heaven, and only then you take control of yourself again.

“Hayden…”, you barely speak when he finishes with you.

You both are a puddle of mess when you, nude, sit over his lap. You share a drunk look, one filled with the darkest desires for so long muffled, now brought to light.

“Yes, babe?” He kisses your shoulders, groaning as you rub yourself against his hardness. “Will you forgive me for such a behavior?”

His words are barely heard when his head is thrown back because your skillful hands find way to his pants and remove it so soon.

You glance at his manhood, impressed by how it is when it’s this hard under your touch.

“You don’t deserve forgiveness”, you giggle softly as you start rubbing it, enjoying to feel the drip of it. “You should be punished.”

He holds back a gasp at your words. Now eyeing you, interested in your upcoming moves. And when you slide to your knees…

“Babe…”

“Yeah?”

One glance. Unspoken words fill the air. And you take with his mouth at long last, not stopping until you have it all down your throat.

“For God’s sake!”, he gasps. “I can’t wait any longer to have you with me!”

All gentleness is left aside when he helps you settle on his lips and he slides inside you. To feel him throbbing like this, going so hard in you makes you arch your back.

“This feels so good!”

His hands move down your back as his lips pursuit your skin, licking and taking every bit of you—though he does know how much you enjoy when he takes his time around your nipples, which he does graciously.

But it’s not until his eyes meet yours, sealing your lips as much as you seal your bodies together, that all is at long last truly consumed….

***

• Nowadays

In a sober state, everything is better appreciated. Hayden watches as you gleefully prepare breakfast. There is nothing but genuinely love in his eyes.

What had started as an explosion of sentiments for so long kept in secret has now flown to what should have always been: a genuine relationship. From friends to lovers. From lovers to something better.

He smiles, not now missing the lateness of his realization that you have always been the love of his life. He stands and moves to behind you, holding you close and smelling your scent as you prepare him some eggs.

“What? I’ve been sensing your eyes over me”, you giggle like a little girl. “Don’t get me weak again, Christensen. This is so not you.”

He turns you at him and holds your face between his hands.

“I love you, Y/Nickname.”

Hayden smiles wide when seeing a blush painting your cheeks. And he beams when you tell him the same.

“I love you too, H. Though I fear I love you more.”

“That is not true”, he protests in between laughters.

But before you fall into that old cliche you and him enjoy in secret intimacy, breakfast is ready. As you two enjoy that morning moment, it doesn’t strike as how many years have passed before you two achieved it at long last.

“I have news to tell”, says Hayden with a bright smile on his lips.

You rest your chin over your hands and say:

“Well? Tell me at once.”

He appreciates all the love that comes from you. The way you look at him, how genuinely you listen and help him in every moment, how kind you always are, how sincere you speak your heart out. So many virtues and even your flaws he appreciates.

There is so much love between the lines and out of them too.

“I was asked to play Anakin Skywalker again.”

And how fantastic you are as his soon to be wife when you jump in his arms excited with his news.

“That is awesome, my darling! I’m so happy for you!”

“A better start than I could have thought”, he admits, pulling you to sit on his lap.

“You deserve it all”, you brush your lips against his. “I love you, my heart.”

“I love you, my soul”, he whispers back.

And this is the ending you deserve.

***

•Epilogue…

When you show up dressed in red—from your full lips to your body—Hayden feels something rise in his chest.

“My God, you look gorgeous, Y/N…”, so he says mischievously when you show up after leaving him waiting for 30 minutes. “It was worth the time…”

You giggle, blushing lightly after all this time. Your hair is loose wavily, put on side as you wear the necklace and earrings Hayden gifted you in your birthday.

“Don’t be silly. Have they arrived yet?”

The occasion is to celebrate Hayden and Ewan’s series “Kenobi”. Hayden’s aforementioned friend said he was going to pick them up in a limo so they’d go all together.

“They are about to… which leaves us a few minutes”, he places right behind you, holding your waist tightly.

“Hayden… It took me some time to get properly dressed. Besides, I…” you get lost at your words when he starts kissing your neck and his hands move up and down your back.

“What are you trying to say?”

Hayden smirks, enjoying the effect he has over you. It’s been some good years since you got together, but even now he manages to get you speechless.

“I…”

Your mind goes blank when he turns you to the mirror and see the naughty look that rests in those blue eyes. His hands move to your breasts, playing with your nipples before slowly exposing them.

“Hayden… they are….” You moan softly, struggling to keep your composure.

He turns you now against the wall of your bathroom, mouth dropping to your full chest all the whilst his hands move to your thighs.

“Hmm”, he sings softly, humming against your skin. “Hot as hell, wife.”

You try not to fall from your heels.

“Hayden!” You cry out when his fingers find all the way to you.

“You get your man on knees every single time. Getting me overzealous, uh?”, he smirks when going to his knees. “All wet for me, honey? Let me taste you thus…”

You are almost ruined as he does so, his tongue in you the way you want him to. You forget yourself, forget the reason why this expensive gown you bought three months ago was quite difficult to dress—precisely why you’d want to tell him by the end of the night.

You forget your state, you forget you should be checking time before your friends arrive. There is nothing to remember as he fucks you with his tongue deliciously until you are about to come undone…

Just like that he lifts your thighs and before you complain, he slides his manhood within, fucking you slowly and pleasantly.

“Oh God!” You scream but he has to quiet your sounds, especially because… the bell is rang.

“That was quick”, he manages to say breathlessly as he rushes to keep himself recomposed.

You giggle, suddenly shy as you do the same.

“Indeed…”

Hayden finds you adorable and peppers kisses around your face.

“They can wait a little. I thought you wanted to say something… you know, before…”

You two share a giggle and he smiles when you bury your face in his shoulder.

“I… I am pregnant, H.”

He hugs you closer. What a night, what a life with you is. Hayden Christensen could not have been any happier…

#star wars #star wars imagine #imagine star wars #Hayden Christensen #Anakin Skywalker #darth vader #Hayden Christensen smut #hayden christensen x y/n #Hayden Christensen x female reader

[bisexuallsokka]

ok hello i have found that i have no choice but to introduce you to my "divorced zukka but slightly to the left" headcanon for a modern au. basically, a pre-transitioned zuko and sokka have a one night stand at the end of their senior year of high school, and never speak again. roughly six years later, sokka is starting his job at an elementary school (not a classroom teacher, like technology or something) and meets izumi, who is so sweet and cute and i swear thats the face katara makes when she's annoyed, and one day happens to see her dad pick up and huh he looks and AWFUL lot like that person i went to high school with and OH GOD some quick math brings an idea to mind.

So sokka attempts to confront zuko who is very much NOPE DO NOT TALK TO ME, but finally breaks down after a series of shenanigans that def do not involve mild stalking. but only to admit that yes, izumi is sokka's biological daughter, and would like to leave their interactions at that, except sokka has NO interest in SIMPLY leaving it at that because!!! he has a kid!!! that he knew nothing about!!! for six years!!!

zuko very much would like to continue living his life without sokka bc being a single young parent is hard enough but he has a good routine and good relationship with his daughter and he doesnt need this, this, SPERM DONOR to just come in here and mess everything up! the guy hasnt been there the last six years, there is absolutely no reason for his to get involved now!! BUT sokka absolutely would have been there if zuko had only TOLD HIM, but how was ZUKO supposed to know that, and did zuko really think so little of him?? except it was a one night stand and zuko didnt even realize he was a boy until right after and he originally wasnt even planning to keep izumi, and HOW could he have just given up their CHILD without ever even telling sokka about her and given him a CHANCE to take her, and WE WERE JUST KIDS AND HE WAS SCARED-

its complicated. and involves a lot of trying not to shout around izumi, who is just over the moon that her dad and her favorite teacher know each other outside of school. and there's a lot of heartache over sokka having to come to terms with the fact that yeah, hes not izumis parent, and there's only so much he can do without stepping on zuko's toes, and he only wants what is best for izumi, and zuko seeing that maybe sokka really does want to be all in for izumi even if zuko thinks sokka really doesnt fully understand what that means, and would it be such a bad thing? not that either of them are going to admit this to the other.

so it starts with small things, like sokka being allowed to pay child support (which hes been begging to do since day one), and maybe it turns out that zukos new coworker is sokkas friend and they end up at the same party where they can really see each other interact with izumi, and a chunk zuko's summer child care plans for the summer fall apart so sokka offers to babysit since his summer job is remote which feels BIG but also reallyyyyy too convenient to reject,

and then something bigger happens where izumi gets hurt at school and while sokka is blaming himself he's also panicking bc the hospital wont let him stay with her bc hes not an emergency contact so he steels himself and later tells zuko he wants to make his relationship to izumi legal. hes not going to have a custody fight, he would never ask for that, but he wants his name on her birth certificate and wants his name on her list of emergency contacts, and its the first time zuko understand that sokka 100% knows what he's getting into here and is willing to be in this 100%.

So maybe sokka moves into this "uncle sokka" role, because zuko still refuses to tell izumi that sokka is her other dad, and yeah that hurts, but sokka would rather have part of izumi's life if he can't have all of it. and sokka gets a better look inside their lives and discovers that its HARD being a young single parent, why would zuko have risked everything he worked for to mix in some guy he barely knew who might decide that zuko wasn't good enough and take izumi away? and zuko sees the pain sokka has from missing out on so many key moments of izumi's young life, and the more sokka is proving himself as a second parent, the more guilty zuko feels. they go through some shit together and its more and more evident that sokka doesnt just want to be that fun uncle, but he's ready more than willing to be a PARENT even when it means being the bad guy.

and maybe they start falling for each other a little, because they are starting to have this LIFE together and its not just about izumi anymore its the way zuko rolls his eyes and gets the new fancy ice pack out of the freezer when a limping sokka brings izumi back from the park, and its the way sokka makes zuko genuinely laugh after a long day at work, and its like their lives are getting fully intertwined-

except that they arent. and they couldn't. because if sokka decides its too much. because if zukos good favor runs out. if it didnt work out between them. they couldnt do that to izumi. what they have is good, its fine, (even if its not enough) they dont want to risk anything that could disrupt izumi's life. shes the priority. and sure, she's already asking questions about the two of them, but what if they don't work right in a real relationship? the way things are now, either of them could back out, and everyone would eventually be ok. maybe. except every time they think about the possibility, it seems like they are already too intertwined, and either of them trying to untangle would just be a disaster, so imagine if they HAD to untangle, and-

so they just end up in an awkward stage of sad pining. because theres no way it would actually work out. because it would hurt all of them. and their life has never been better, but it's never hurt this much either.

ok so i didnt realize i could still write this long in an ask, but essentially i am not a masochist like you, and they do figure it out in the end. this could happen a number of ways, such as izumi just announcing that yeah this is my dad and his boyfriend, or zukka doing the "pining make outs that we never talk about until one of us snaps and we decide to let ourselves be fucking happy", or a very funny "we both snap and bone for one wonderful night to get it out of our system and then we dont talk about it" which leads to an accidental second baby where sokka and zuko both laugh and say whelp it must be fate lets do this the right way this time.

the most important thing is that they both forget to tell izumi that sokka is her biological father, so teenage izumi is very shocked and upset that shes just had to learn this from something totally mundane like applying for a passport, and sokka and zuko do the spider man finger pointing of "i thought you told her" "no, you were supposed to tell her" "did we really not tell her?" and its absolutely disgusting how cute they are

thanks for coming to my tedtalk

i love every single thing about this! sokka wanting to be a part of izumi's life and help zuko out....zuko being reluctant to accept but eventually seeing how sokka is proving himself.....the limbo period where they are both afraid it could end any moment....TOO GOOD! i love every single option for how they could get together for real like this is my favorite take on modern au divorced zukka by far!!!! <3 <3

#screaming over 'i am not a masochist like you' you got me #thank you SO MUCH for sharing this with me it is seriously amazing!! #i read it last night before going to sleep and then couldnt stop thinking about it for a while LMAO #divorced zukka #michkit #ask me stuff

[glamangel3766]

Just got into the Ace Attorney fandom/franchise 🏛🏵⚖️

I have a question(or 2)(I tend to ramble) for the veteran fans followed by a few theories/ headcanons/ observations I made as I delved into the rabbit hole that is my shiny new addiction/obsession. (*Please note I'm awful at spelling. Spellcheck can only do so much for my jelly brain)

Question:

Is shipping WrightWorth just a natural part of the initiation/transition into the fandom or is that just the fujoshi in me getting a bingo on a card with all my fave shipping tropes?

These 2 lawyers act like rivals, claim to be friends since childhood, but are desperately in love with each other in reality and anyone with even half a brain cell can tell. This ship gives me strong vibes of "I hate how much I love you but won't say a thing because I believe you deserve better and I'm not ready to deal with the truth of how much I value you" Miles Edgeworth x "I will sing your praises if you'd just let me and alter my whole life to be within your presence because I don't want a life where you aren't a part of it" Pheonix Wright.

Theory/headcanon/observation(s):

I totally agree with the fandom that Pheonix would openly love Legally Blonde. However, I think Miles would secretly love it more after Pheonix forces him to watch both the movie and musical, but only deny his love for it because the song "Gay or European" calls him out too much and he feels offended by that. How DARE a song from a musical based on a movie call him out like that in front of his dearest-childhood-friend-totally-not-first-love-now-turned-husband and their adopted children like that!?!

I feel like even the homophobes can see Miles Edgeworth has the vibes of a bitter old gay man, but this prosecutor is so far in the closet that his shipping address is Narnia

How can anyone say Wrightworth isn't legit/canon? They're either a bickering old married couple or a newly divorced couple that's too proud to admit they still love each other and want to get back together. You cannot convince me otherwise. Either way they still always find things to argue about, but end up aggressively making out in a violent and heated passion then(if divorced) just as aggressively deny that they ever locked lips.

FOR CONTEXT: I watched the Game Grumps do a let's play of it and I'm currently playing through the Trilogy game(s(?)*) on the Switch and know bits and pieces through repeating themes in fan-made content. (I also want to watch the anime but haven't decided if I should finish playing before starting.)

* I'm still not fully used to how the story is structured like a book series, but I'm close. I'm at around 90% used to it. Like I understand it in my head but when I need to put it into actual words it makes my brain hurt.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk

#ace attorney #miles edgeworth x phoenix wright #wrightworth #miles edgeworth #pheonix wright #phoenix wright #bad spelling #new obsession just dropped #yay #I swore this was supposed to be a short post #why must everything I post turn into a novel/essay? #please send help #it's becoming a problem #pray for me #I might be beyond saving

[tepli-mravenci]

hey homonoromo! a czech related question: how is it with queer acceptance in your country? preferrably in brno, haha. and especially about trans people? do you think it'd be possible for me to transition there? and how much would it cost in general? and do i have to get psych approval and wait in the queue for years or stuff like in the uk?

i know you're not a consultant or anything, i just don't know who to ask. also, i guess that's way more than one question

Aight so when it comes to acceptance it really comes to individual people but regarding transition there's a couple things to consider:

- according to law you are required (among other things) to get sterilized to complete your transition if you're transitioning fully from one binary gender to another (aka you want your personal documents say you're that gender and you want a name that's purely given to people of that gender), also there's no nonbinary option for the "full" transition, you either have M or F on your ID

- before you're allowed to start taking HRT you need to go to a therapist essentially, it really depends on WHERE exactly and WHO your therapist is and I don't know the Brno situation but there are forums (mostly on Facebook I think) where people discuss their experiences (also čumblr Brňáci might know more than me)

- this is also individual when it comes to how long you'll be waiting, how long they'll be examining you and how long it will take you to transition

- I'm not sure how MONEY works when you have a non-czech insurance company (since I have no idea how insurance works) but if you do have one that operates in the Czech republic they WILL pay for your transition as if it were any other medical treatment (there's of course examinations and shit that determine whether it will psychologically benefit you to receive that treatment), you should still check if your insurance covers these kinds of things tho

- during your examination period you're first required to "try out" presenting yourself socially as the gender you're transitioning to which includes using a gender neutral name

- a recent GOOD development here is that you can now change your name to a neutral one ANYTIME even if you're not "officially" transitioning! Here's a list of legally approved gender neutral names!

- there are invasive and unnecessary examinations that should not be mandatory for the transition but your therapist can still try to make you go through them, depends again on the specific one, it's also important to remember that the way trans people are diagnosed here is reportedly ancient and just...really stupid? (to quote what my classmate told me, they asked him things like "did you play with dolls or cars as a child?")

- if you are married (to someone of the opposite sex) or in a registered partnership (with someone of the same sex) pre-transition, you have to get divorced when you complete transition because they're not the same on a legal level

Trans*parent is a great Czech resource when it comes to transition and trans stuff in general

I am not sure how different it is with foreigners or even if you'd find a therapist who speaks english honestly. Don't quote me on this but you might need to get Czech citizenship first? But I really don't know.

If I said something stupid or inaccurate (or no longer relevant) here pls correct me!!

#čumblr #czech republic #czech #kvír #ask #č #česko

[rilu-artblog]

“Send me a character”, for any of the Broflovski’s?

My time has come

Sorry not sorry Anon, I'm doing all of the (main) Broflovski's, I may never have this chance again

Starting from oldest to youngest:

GERALD

First impression First saw him in the FBW games, was wondering why this naked man was huffing cat piss and acting like a little bitch

Impression now Babygirl man, one of my faves, so underappreciated, still a little bitch tho lol

Favorite moment Sosososoooo many it's either him getting super into trolling in 20x02 or when he's cheesing and runs into the boob lady and goes "curse your rocking tits". Or the entire hot tub scene. Or when he smashes the tv playing family guy. Or-

Idea for a story I have so many, but would love anything that explores his youth or him and Sheila's relationship before marriage/having kids

Unpopular opinion Some people are too hard on him and are way more ready to declare him a bad dad instead of making him a fully rounded parent. Also I don't like when people divorce him and Sheila, I love them together. Which leads to...

Favorite relationship Love love love him with Sheila, they're my favorite parent relationship and so 3 dimensional. I also like when he's actually being a good dad to Ike or Kyle. Also also StuartxGerald is way more interesting than RandyxGerald

Favorite headcanon Genuinely have no idea, I like the idea that the reason for him being Skankhunt was because he was high on memberberry wine or something lol

Sheila

First impression From the movie and the games as first impressions, she sure is a bitch I guess

Impression now She has done literally nothing wrong ever in her entire life and is so hot

Favorite moment The entire movie and the boss fight in TFBW. In show, the UPS man scene (U///U)

Idea for a story Just like with Gerald, would love to see anything showing her youth in Jersey and that transition from wildest bitch ever to overprotective mom

Unpopular opinion I don't like when people make her wildly OOC and abusive/homophobic to Kyle, but I also don't like when people imply she's the better parent compared to Gerald and that she needs to divorce him to be happy. Like, no lol

Favorite relationship Her and Gerald of course, she would find him in any universe. She does need more friendships tho, give her and Sharon more scenes together!

Favorite headcanon Uhh it's not a happy one but I do like the headcanon that she had miscarriages before Kyle, which is why she's so protective over him and why they adopted Ike

Kyle!

First impression First SP thing I saw was a SoT playthrough, was rooting for him and the elves and thought his design was cool

Impression now My fave of the main 4, probably second favorite of all the show, think it's wild he causes so much discourse in the fandom lol

Favorite moment Too many, either the entire "Willzyx" ep where he loves orcas (just like me fr) or him yelling in general

Idea for a story Idk??? More post covid stuff or stuff where he's older in general and has his kids. I want to see him be a dad

Unpopular opinion Not him directly but his fans are either super chill or superrrr insufferable. Especially if they have him as a PFP. Also don't immediately give him bad parents, at least let him be the one main kid with decentish parents lol.

Favorite relationship No surprise, really like his friendship with Stan, they should never be separated even if it hurts them or others lol. I do like K2, Nichole and him and David and him together as either friends or romantic

Favorite headcanon Is being premature a headcanon? If so then yeah, preemie Kyle. Also that he's actually a psychic/reality warper but has no time for that and ignores it lol

Ike

First impression Baby boy, baby

Impression now The baby is disconcertingly right-leaning politically, needs more screentime lol

Favorite moment So many, everything he does in the pilot or Season 20

Idea for a story Uhh nothing, I don't think of solely Ike stories, maybe something where he and Gerald hash it out after Gerald tried to throw him under the bus

Unpopular opinion Idk?? Ok why do people ship him and Firkle, is it just because of age?

Favorite relationship He and Kyle have the best sibling relationship, mostly because they're the most focused on but still. I like that he's the moral compass for the entire Broflovski family

Favorite headcanon Cool uncle Ike! That's all I've got boss.

#kyle broflovski #ike broflovski #gerald broflovski #sheila broflovski #this took me so long...almost an hour #anon ask #sorry anon #you did not ask for all of this yet I am delivering it lol

[ilookedintoit]

When Vince Met Amy: Part 2

Once Amy Grant split from Gary Chapman at the end of 1998, it was only a matter of time before she and Vince Gill were going to enter into an official and public relationship.

This is a delicate transition that they had to know was always going to raise eyebrows and open mouths; even though Vince had split from his wife two years earlier, everyone was doing the math based on the years of rumors about Vince and Amy's close relationship.

The ensuing months include lots of judgment from the Christian community for Amy, and several contentious interviews from her now ex-husband who insists that things were just fine in their lives, until Vince came along.

1999 

February 1999

Amy moves out of Riverstone Farm that she shared with Gary, which had been the site of many family photos and special programs captured on film during Amy's career. She gets another house nearby in Nashville.

March 1999

Three months after the separation announcement, Amy files for divorce, citing "irreconcilable differences." 

The Tennessean prints a Q&A with this commentary on March 21:

They won’t say why, but she initiated the split after three kids and 16 years of marriage; he is openly suffering. Singer-songwriter Chapman, 41, has hosted Prime Time Country for 2 ½ years and has no plans to give it up. But Grant, 38, always overshadowed him, and her good friendship with Vince Gill probably didn’t help. 

June 1999

Amy and Gary’s divorce is final. 

July 1999

Vince wears an Amy T-shirt at his concert on July 31, which garners a mention in The Tennessean the next day:

At last night’s Vince Gill concert, people in the crowd were wondering who that woman on Vince’s T-shirt was. Answer: Longtime friend Amy Grant.  “It was the first T-shirt he pulled out of his drawer,” a Vince staffer said.

October 1999

On October 1, The Atlanta Constitution prints a Q&A with Vince, who declines to give a clear answer when asked about the rumors swirling around him and Amy.

Q: You recently went through a very public divorce and became the center of a lot of tabloid gossip linking you with various people. This is tough to bring up, but on the Internet, there are 53 chat sites that come up when you type in “Vince Gill/Amy Grant.”   A: Is that all? [Laughs] What I think happens with all this is, people tend to think the worst of people. If anything is offensive to me, that is. They take the lowest common denominator and go to that. The ins and outs of friendship are mine. They are not for the whole world to try to figure out. Whether it’s Amy or whoever, I have a right to be friends with anybody I want to, and I don’t have to defend or deny that. I’ve never acknowledged the tabloid stuff. None of it. That’s the neat thing about doing an interview. I can either answer the questions or not. Q: How’s life in your 40s? A: I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.

A week later, on October 9, 1999, Amy confirms that she and Vince are in a relationship, during a front-page profile story in The Tennessean.

Here are some excerpts:

On the day of the interview, Grant says she has plans to take a bike trip with Gill on the Natchez Trace Parkway. The two have eaten together recently at a Waffle House – at Gill’s invitation. Last Sunday they went to church. They’ve been writing a song together, “Look What Love’s Revealing.”  But they are not secretly married, she states emphatically, answering one of the latest rumors to circulate through town about them.  The two singer-songwriters have been fast friends since they first met in 1993, when Grant accepted Gill’s invitation to appear with him on a Christmas special in Tulsa, in his native Oklahoma.  “We got along like two peas in a pod and made no bones about it,” she says. As their friendship grew and deepened, however, others found bones to pick. “A lot of disparaging things were said about my very public friendship with Vince,” Grant acknowledges.  “One of the reasons that the friendship was so public was because it never occurred to me to hide it. I would hear rumors about, ‘You guys were seen doing this, you guys were seen doing that.’ I just said, ‘Not true.’” Conscientiously, they honored the constraints of their commitments, Grant says. 

She knows people will speculate that her relationship with Gill caused the breakup of her marriage, Grant says, but the circumstances were multilayered and complicated. She will concede that the friendship may have hastened what might have been inevitable anyway. 

It feels silly, Grant says, for a 38-year-old and a 42-year-old man with professional and domestic responsibilities to say they’re dating, though some of the things they’ve done, like the hockey game, would qualify. “I just want to enjoy his company,” she says. “Is that the kind of thing that the natural conclusion is that eventually these two people will wind up together and grow old together? I hope so. But do I understand the timetable for that? No.”  Recently, Gill and Grant were grilling hamburgers for a gathering put together by her daughter, fourth-grader Millie.  “One of them asked, ‘Is he your boyfriend?’” Grant recalls, and she felt ready to let down her guard a little.  “To have tried to walk the line of propriety for so long, I kinda took a breath and said, ‘He is, honey. Yeah.’” 

Over the weekend of October 15-16, 1999, Amy and Vince are pictured holding hands multiple times at Vince's annual golf tournament.

Special friendship out in the open It looks like Vince Gill and Amy Grant have stepped into the "House of Love" they once crooned about. The singers held hands and smiled at each other Wednesday during Gill's annual charity golf tournament in Oklahoma City. It was the first public outing for the couple since last weekend, when Grant told The Tennessean newspaper in her hometown Nashville that Gill is her boyfriend. Gill, a native Oklahoman and country music star, said he doesn't know what all the fuss is about. "I'm a single man. She's a single woman. Yes, she's my girlfriend." Gill, 42, divorced his wife, Janis, in 1997. In June, Grant, 38, divorced husband Gary Chapman. (The News and Observer)

November 1999

Reaction to news of Amy and Vince's relationship after their divorces unsurprisingly causes a stir in the Christian community. Amy had already been a taboo subject when she went "secular" with her "Heart In Motion" album in 1991. This has pushed things over the edge.

A November 13, 1999, article from Knight Rider News Service, with the headline “Singer pays price for her pain,” discusses how Christian music stores and radio stations around the country have “crossed Grant’s work off their lists.” 

A November cover story comes out about Amy and the divorce in CCM (Contemporary Christian Music) Magazine, with the article titled "Judging Amy." Amy expresses her regrets but also defends herself in the interview:

"For people that have [personally] known us and loved us a long time," says Grant, "[the divorce] was not a surprise to anybody. None of this was taken lightly. It was years in the making. Gary and I went to all kinds of — tons of —marriage counseling."

"I'm from a big family. My parents are still together, and my three older sisters are married and still together. I stood up at the front of a packed-out church and made a vow before God about — as best I could — how I would lead my life. And I failed in that. Failure's incredibly humbling."

“Jesus led by compassion. No one is ever changed because of judgment. No one’s ever healed through judgment. “If people say, ‘She was leaning on a man emotionally that she wasn’t married to; she developed a friendship that was inappropriate,’ I want to go, ‘You know, if you’re gonna list my faults, let’s get to the real meat. You ain’t scratched the surface with that stuff. Let’s get real. Humanity is humanity.”

That same month, a new article in People Magazine details the relationship of Amy and Vince, with the comments from Janis Gill's sister, Kristine Arnold. As a refresher, Kristine had this to say about Amy and Vince: "[Janis] loved Vince deeply, and the whole experience has been horrifying. Just because people are not having a physical relationship doesn't mean they aren't having an affair." 

Janis does not appear to speak out during this time. The comments from her sister seem to be the only insight into how she might have been feeling about her ex's new relationship.

Also in the People article, claims are made from another source that Amy and Gary had been having trouble for a long time.

According to a family friend, Chapman, 42, a former Nashville Network host, felt overshadowed by his wife almost from the moment they met at a party in 1979. "[Gill] wasn't what broke them up. I'd say it was the final straw. They weren't getting along," says the friend, "and they hadn't been for years."

This apparently angers Gary, and so on November 29, 1999, an article is circulated with some pointed comments from him in response:

Singer/songwriter Gary Chapman wants us to know he’s hurt and dismayed that his ex-wife, Amy Grant, has been portraying their 16-year marriage as troubled long before her involvement with Vince Gill.  “That’s not the case at all,” insists Chapman, who candidly reveals, “Our marriage had a rough start, because I had a substance abuse problem… but on Sept. 2, 1986, I stopped - and through the ensuing years, we had three gorgeous kids and the world by the tail. So, this notion that our marriage was perpetually on the edge of death is completely erroneous..." Chapman’s responding to an article in this week’s People magazine - which also notes that Grant and Gill have been steadfast in their insistence that their relationship remained platonic until after their respective divorces. But Chapman, whose divorce from Grant was finalized in June, alleges, “Since the beginning of 1994, they had what I would call an inappropriate friendship, which was destructive to our marriage. "My family, friends, and most of the people in Nashville who have at least two brain cells slapping against each other have known for years what has gone on.” Despite everything, he says he and Grant “are still very friendly." “She’s moving on, and so am I.” 

Pictured: Vince and Amy on the cover of the November 29, 1999 issue of People Magazine.

December 1999

On December 7, USA Today reports that sales for Amy's Christmas album are steady but that she is still facing a lot of criticism and backlash in other circles:

John Styll, publisher of CCM magazine, which ran an in-depth interview with Grant about her divorce in its November issue, says most readers' letters about her comments have been "less than favorable."  "Many people feel she has been disobedient to what the Bible teaches in that she doesn't have biblical grounds for a divorce, such as adultery on the part of her spouse," Styll says. More problematic is the gossip about her relationship with Gill, which swirled around Nashville for years, though Grant says: "Everything public pales by comparison to (the private). The hardest thing about a family breaking up is what a family goes through privately." She does, however, insist that the relationship didn't take on a romantic aspect until after her marriage ended. Nor, she adds, have she and Gill secretly married. "I'm not living some secret life that nobody knows about," she says. "We are seeing each other. No plans. We have been dear friends for a long time." "On one hand, there would be nothing to talk about if I had just met him in March. Because I have known him for years, because we always got along great, because people were churning the rumor mill when there was absolutely nothing to churn the rumor mill about . . . people are going to say whatever they're going to say. And I just go, 'I'm so glad I get to enjoy the company of such a fine man.'"

Gary gives his own interview to The Tennessean, which prints on December 11:

The “irreconcilable differences” cited in the final divorce decree, Chapman believes, boiled down to one thing: “She wanted to end the marriage and I didn’t want to. That’s all. Anything else, God could have worked out if we had allowed him to.” 

But he also says in a story with USA Today that publishes on December 10 that he wants both he and Amy to stop talking to the media:

Gary Chapman says he's tired of ex-wife Amy Grant's interviews about the collapse of their marriage and her current relationship with Vince Gill. "I've moved from embarrassment to just being annoyed," the singer/songwriter says. "I just want it all to go away. If I'm able to let it go, everybody else should, too." Chapman says he talked to his ex-wife Wednesday and in effect declared a ceasefire. "She thought it was a great idea to not say any more about our marriage and what went wrong. She is a very kind person at her core, and I can't imagine she would want to perpetuate these stories any more than I do."

Pictured above: Vince kisses Amy on the golf course in January 2000.

2000

In early January, CCM Magazine prints a wide-ranging interview with Gary about the divorce. This is presumably from conversations that took place before Gary and Amy's media "ceasefire."

Referencing Amy’s relationship with Vince, Gary says he "chose to believe [Grant]" when she told him that the relationship with Gill was not sexual, the article states.

The writer notes Amy's comment that her relationship with Vince may have hastened the end of her marriage, but the end result of divorce was always inevitable with or without his involvement.

Chapman disagrees, indicating that he believes the relationship was the primary cause of the divorce. "I am torn between relying on the mathematical ability of intelligent people and the stark reality that a lot of people just don’t want to believe the obvious."

February 2000

Gary Chapman says he and Amy have made amends:

"Time is a wonderful thing. We actually get along really well now."

Likely helping this new view of friendship? In mid-February, Gary announces his engagement to his girlfriend of one year. 

Gary gathered his kids, his nanny and his girlfriend, Jennifer Pittman, 30, in a room and handed Jennifer a card. On the outside: A picture of Gary and kids. On the inside, the caption reads: “Will you marry us?” (The Tennessean)

March 2000

On March 3, the news breaks that Vince and Amy are also engaged.

Yes, the date is set. Amy Grant and Vince Gill, Nashville’s highest-profile couple as of late, will get married March 10 in a small ceremony in Williamson County. Friends this week began getting invitations to the larger reception that follows the ceremony. (The Tennessean)

"I can confirm that they are getting married," said Erin Morris, Gill's spokeswoman. "Other than that, they'd like to protect their privacy." (Associated Press)

On March 10, 2000, Vince and Amy get married.

According to The Tennessean, the nuptials are private and take place outdoors in front of 75 guests, mostly relatives. Amy is barefoot and wears flowers in her hair for the ceremony, and they exchange vows they've written themselves.

A much, much larger reception is held afterward at the West End Avenue area home that Amy has been renting, with about 500 people in attendance including Music Row executives, producers, and songwriters.

Amy would admit that it wasn't all sunshine and happiness to start, and they had to help their children through the transition.

"In our wedding pictures, all of the children are grim-faced and understandably so, because these were not their choices," says Amy. "But from the start, Vince and I promised to love each other well, and in any home, blended or not, if the man and wife are loving each other well, you have a much better chance of parenting well. Vince's love has empowered me to be a better mom." (Good Housekeeping, 2008)

The newlyweds returned from a honeymoon in Beaver Creek, Colorado, only to embark on a spring-break trip to hell in Hawaii with Grant's children — Matt, Millie, and Sarah, who were 12, 10, and 7 — all of whom resented the new man in Mommy's life. "You make me sick. Put a shirt on," Millie chastised Gill when he walked around bare-chested. Matt played his mom's protector, warning Gill: "If you ever hurt my mother, I'm going to kill you." Gill remained patient, content to be Grant's husband — not an authority figure to her kids. Time passed, and "I hate you" and "I don't choose you" eventually evolved into acceptance. "All those things had been said, so when it finally turned to tolerance, respect, and, best-case scenario, love — oh, that was quite a journey," says Grant. "It's like a broken bone that grows stronger if it heals properly." (Source)

Where Are They Now?

Gary Chapman married Jennifer Pittman in July 2000, but they divorced in 2007. He was arrested for a charge of driving under the influence in Spetember 2006, and marijuana was found in his possession, according to reports.

He married his third wife, Cassie in 2008, and they adopted a daughter together in 2014.

Janis Gill married Roy Cummins, a horse trainer, in October 2000, but it appears she filed for divorce from him in 2006.

Vince and Amy had a daughter, Corrina, in March 2001, to complete their blended family of five children.

Over the ensuing years, they have remained strong and been able to look back over all they have endured as they show a united front.

2010

Ahead of their 10-year wedding anniversary they cover Good Housekeeping.

"I'm just grateful [to spend time with her]," he says. Ten years into their marriage, he still longs to be around her and admits he feels adrift when they're apart, playing concerts out of town. "We talk several times a day," says Gill. "I want to. I find myself going, I don't want to call her too much, or she'll think I'm nuts. But it's when I feel safest, when I'm talking to her."

2011

Vince and Amy write the song, "True Love," together, which sums up their view of their relationship.

No one ever told me During all those tears I cried That one day you would hold me I just kept hoping inside

True love was waiting True love would find me in time True love was waiting Your love would finally be mine

And I can't erase these lines on my face But I'd turn back time if I could But all the years wanting, the desperate longing,  Are maybe what makes this so good

In an interview with AARP Magazine in 2011, they reflect on growing older together.

Grant admits to a recent oh-no-I'm-getting-old! meltdown in the bathtub. "Having that baby at 40 really shot my stomach, and I was just having a good cry about it," she says. "Vince came in, and I was drooling and snot was coming out, and I said, 'Women get invisible.' And he said, 'I love you, and you're more beautiful now than you were when I first met you. I can't wait to see what you look like with a head full of gray hair.' And he meant it."

They also reiterate that they did not cheat on their spouses, even though they had fallen for each other.

There was no cheating, Gill insists, and neither spoke to the other about leaving their spouse. "We were both married, and though we were crazy about each other, we thought, 'Well, that's not our life.'" Friends sensed the attraction, found it painful to watch the two dancing around each other, and offered advice. "The hard truth was that we never thought for a minute that we would wind up together," says Gill. 

2019

Twenty years after her divorce, Amy reflects on the healing that has happened and marvels at how far their family has come.

Grant speaks like a tiger from the other side — and it does seem like her life, in some vital ways, has come full circle. She describes setting up a pre-wedding gathering for her daughter. Grant was adjusting the sound system at her daughter’s instruction. “I looked over and saw my ex-husband, Gary Chapman, talking to my husband Vince,” she says, “and the sound system components were on a bench that people are sitting on, and I’m hopping over and trying to fix it. Vince leaned over to Gary and said: ‘Have you seen this movie before? Amy’s over there spinning the plates.’” In the commotion, she saw the two of them smiling over at her. “This has taken 20 years,” she says, “and I knew that’s where we all wanted to get. It is possible to reconcile over irreconcilable lines.” (Source)

Amy: “When Millie’s father Gary responded to the question ‘Who presents this bride?’ with the words ‘We all do!’ he captured the joy and healing of our big blended family." (Source)

2020

Amy undergoes open heart surgery in June 2020 after discovering a previously undetected heart defect she has had since birth.

2021

Vince wins his 22nd Grammy Award for a song he wrote about his wife - "When My Amy Prays."

That's when I feel grace When my Amy prays

She's got my back and she don't judge me She gives my heart some time to change Even at my worst I know she loves me She's my shelter from the rain

2022

In addition to Gary and Amy, Janis and Vince & Amy also appear to be on good terms, coming together for Vince and Janis's daughter, Jenny, and her children at various events.

Just two years after her open heart surgery, Amy has a bicycle accident in July 2022 that causes a traumatic brain injury and results in some memory loss.

Due to the accident and her recovery, she has to miss the CMT Giants program dedicated to Vince that takes place in September 2022.

Vince walks the carpet with his daughters, Jenny and Corrina, and Amy pre-records a message for him.

"She's doing great," he said. "She's pretty torn up that she couldn’t be here tonight but with her accident and all of that, they kind of deemed that the best thing for her to do is just be still." (Source)

In December 2022, Vince debuts yet another love song for Amy called "Her Heart."

"This woman right here is an amazing inspiration. Songs about her, they seem so effortless. All you have to do is tell the truth."

She wears my ring And shares my name Says I'm her best friend The kind of love I was dreaming of It's eternal and has no end

I wish the world had her heart Her gentle way to be A ray of light in a sea of darkness So innocent and free

2023

Asked in October 2023 what it means to be married to Vince, Amy answers:

"He accepts me right where I am, for who I am. I feel like I have felt the kindness and unconditional love that we express about God, I have felt it in a way through him that I've never experienced through anybody else. "He is imperfect as am I, we know how to trigger each other to the point where you think a rocket's going to launch - but he is a man of integrity and he's got a great sense of humor. Almost every morning the first thing he tries to do is make me smile." (No Small Endeavor podcast)

2024

What started 30 years ago in 1993, a connection through a Christmas program, is a tradition that endures. Tickets recently went on sale for their annual holiday show set for November and December 2024 at The Ryman Auditorium.

#vince gill #amy grant

[incarnateirony]

Honestly fascinating she's at least confessed that her shrink has assigned her unpacking her shit, even when me showing up to tell her to do exactly that she turned into Loki's Workbook and tried to make sound like magical garbage, and it was in fact just Thoughts In Her Head and her shrink telling the nutbag to do the same shit I'm telling her to do, while she avoids touching the actual problem and doodles random garbage that isn't her core issue.

Cuz that's new. There's been a lot of confessions while we're beating the shadows and delusions out of her, like only now learning to balance a checkbook and afford groceries with spare change in her mid thirties, or now that her shrink is telling her the same thing I am, which doesn't surprise me, because you know, the shrink uses the same tools I do, just a different way. Maybe. Some still use it my way and I genuinely can't track who all I goose on the other side in transit, it's complicated describing how that works.

And the cage--not just confessing to the cage, but even if through proxy of trying to reward herself as a Great Keeper too late, having had too small of a cage, or that she's still vehemently caging anything at all.

Like, this is the definition of what happens during shadow work, but she doesn't understand that all those nightmares we're clearing out are becoming tools I get to use against her until she dismounts my dick, and she knows how to do that.

What she NEEDS to put in her fucking Loki Work Book we're all giving her, is the confession that she's been grieving her divorce for three years to the point she lost herself in delusional roleplay and literally erected a church to me. She doesn't have to try to unpack to the shrink why or how I'm unspooling her brain, because she doesn't understand that anyway, but the codependent, obsessive, crazy dumb addiction she had going on that led her to harass me until we ended up here years later--put that in your fuckin Loki Workbook and talk to your fucking shrink, you octopus spewing nutbag. Abusive piece of selfish shit. Motherfuckin hutt.

Either way, she's rapidly losing this Battle Hymn of the Soul, even if she installed a new soundbar to try to feel anything left in her, that small and dying butterfly on the tip of my reaper finger. It just blasted the Sign I Posted In Her Head at max decibel, but as she always did, she fucked up, ignored it was for her, and tried to monetize it. Because there's nothing left. She refuses to look at who she is. 404 soul not found, just copies, Cloud. A copy, spread eagle, selling herself every way imaginable to try to fill the void she put in her own life. And now we've ripped over her vaginal tartarian hole and we're here now. With our hand up your diseased cunt like a ventriloquist.

#Youtube

[doublel27]

I can’t get me head around Carlos’s wedding, because either it was always set up as a sham for health insurance, in which case how did that get through his Catholic/ law enforcement family, or it was a genuine wedding? And in either scenario how did Carlos’ sexuality never come up? Even if they thought he had turned straight, how are they apparently not surprised when he’s with TK?? I’m not actually that mad at the plot point, it’s entertaining in the absurdity and I’m glad Carlos has his own friends, but I wish there had been even a crumb of set up…

If we ignore *waves hands over season one and many other things since* all that, I believe it was a real wedding.

I want to be very clear, from my personal experience I come from a white upper class family on the coast with parents who lived and worked in San Francisco in the 1980s. My father talked to us about trans people in a positive light in the 90s when one of his colleagues transitioned and was much happier. I grew up with a father who left Catholicism and in a fairly liberal Congregational church which was the first church to include trans rights on their charter. My sister and I fought to get our individual church to adopt the charter out of the national organization and won that in 2005. I came out to my parents in 2007-2008. My sister came out to my parents in 2014. My parents have two trans children-in-law. I grew up exceptionally lucky.

That being said, when I came out to my mom, I got a lot of lines like “You can still change your mind in the future if you want to.” “I don’t want life to be harder for you.” And “I am just so grateful that you can get still married in this state even if it won’t look like I planned it.”

That’s my mother in the context I presented.

I can only imagine for Carlos who grew up Catholic, a denomination which this year the pope stated that “Being gay should not be a crime but is still a sin.” It’s 2023. That’s their position in 2023. Carlos came out to his parents in 2013, maybe earlier. The position was harsher internationally, and in Texas it was likely just as harsh, even in Austin.

When Carlos called himself the project in 4.02, it’s because while the American Psychological Association denounced conversion therapy for sexual identity in 1997, religions were still using it. The Catholic belief that you can “repent sin” and “try to do better from sinning” is an essential tenant. There is a very real belief that you can change it if you try hard enough. That you aren’t trying hard enough if you give in.

Carlos coming out and then marrying a woman could easily be seen as Carlos resisting the sin of his sexual desires. In Texas in 2013, you could not marry a same-gender partner. People who had children in Texas and were living with same-gender partners were getting their children taken away from them for living with a person they were unmarried to. That’s the reality of Carlos’s context when he came out.

So I think he married Iris for real. But then they fell apart. Again his family never talked about it. Iris moved out. Moved in with a new boyfriend eventually, and Carlos never talked about it. But divorce is a HUGE deal to both individuals of the Catholic faith and individuals in Texas.

If you get a divorce, as a practicing Catholic, any other marriage is invalid in the eyes of the Catholic Church (or at least that’s what I learned from friends growing up). You need an annulment in order to consider the next marriage legitimate in the eyes of God. Now, they won’t consecrate a marriage between two men, but clearly his faith is something that is important to Carlos that he’s struggled with.

I am sure his parents speculated about the reasons for the separation, going back to his coming out. They would have known about Iris’s disappearance. They would have waited to see. I’m sure by the time they saw him with TK, they weren’t surprised.

I agree, there are 60,000 different choices that could have been made to set this up. But as they weren’t, we’re just going to make it through.

#911 lone star #tk strand #carlos reyes #tarlos #911 lone star spoilers #doublel27 talks #anon reply #anon ask #911 ls spoilers

[trans-advice]

Hi, I’m not trans myself but I have a trans friend who’s in a situation.

Warning for Suicide mentions and depression

I’m gonna use they/them for them even though those aren’t their pronouns because, well, you’ll see.

So I’ve know them for about 6 years now and they’re a few years older than me. In January of this year they came out to me and some other friends as a trans girl. They’ve apparently known they were trans for a good long while and were only out to close friends.

It became clear that they had depression when they had several venting sessions in discord servers that turned into talking them down from suicide and or self harm.

The friend group they came out to me through kinda fell apart which was definitely stressful for them and me and everyone involved but they’re the one I was life/death worried about.

I also found out that their mom is supportive but their dad isn’t. Well recently they let me and other friends know that if they go forward with transitioning (theyre 18 now) their dad will leave.

They’ve decided to “not be trans” so as to not split up their family. No transition, not socially or medically. They said “[chosen name] is dead” , they’re just gonna be their deadname now. They said they’ve masked for 18 years, they can keep going. Obviously I don’t want this for them because I want them to be happy but they don’t think they deserve to be happy.

But logistically I don’t know what to tell them. They don’t want their dad to leave because he’s still their dad and their mom would be unhappy and I just don’t know what to tell them.

The unsupportive ness of their dad is obviously a sizable contributor to their depression and suicidal thoughts. I don’t want to talk them out of suicide again. I want them to not have to be talked out of it because I want them to not even consider it. It’s taking a toll on me and I’m not a professional, I’m just a kid.

Advice? Please?

To my friend if they’re reading this because it will be obvious I’m talking about them: Hi! I hope you don’t mind I sent this. <3

Call trans lifeline: they're more trained they don't call the cops on anyone, and we're not professionals here either.

Seek help from someone trained in dealing with domestic violence! Your friend is an abusive family & needs an escape plan. -- Transition can wait, they need to get out & or distance for their safety, they are in danger. (Especially considering how the political situation is developing.)

They're in an abusive family. I obviously don't know everything, but my suggestion is that if your friend is able to get out of the house away from their family, then do that as much as possible because having autonomy will obviously support bodily autonomy.

When I mention resources for adults, my hope is that it will click that life goes on, and recovery from abusive families is something that is ongoing into adulthood. I'm hoping they & you survive into adulthood. AA & al-anon tend to be carceral with philosophies of "rock bottom" involving "white coats, blue coats, black coats", but still.

Like the reality of potential of divorce happening doesn't just happen due to what your describing. Like there's probably a bunch of other built up things, and it's going to become a "stepping on eggshells" situation. -- The other factor with divorce that needs to be looked out for is property since divorce procedures are also about divvying up the property held by the couple. Of course, couples can stay married but separate because they can't afford to divorce, but like, I feel like that might help with some grounding.

Parent is a verb/role not a noun/body. "Love is an action, not simply a feeling." -- bell hooks. If the father's abusive then he's an abuser instead of a father. There might need to be grief over losing their father, but the father is already lost as of now, it's just a matter of whether the father comes back (as in stops being an abuser, makes amends, etc) or dies abusive. Look up familial rejection, look up resources for adult children of abusive parents etc.

Grief is the feeling one has when the brain's mental maps (such as knowing where access to supportive people such as a father), has to adapt to something no longer being there. Grieving is feeling you have with that. Grief will always be there. Grieving can become "less" with time because you learn how to better adapt to that stress.

Transition is separate from gender identity. Basically your friend is grieving over their father. -- The problem to this whole reasoning of going back in the closet/grave (which I once had to reckon with the fact that I had basically buried my inner children, and it was brutal)... is that the father's body is still above ground & free, & he's abusive, and a threat to your friend's & your friend's family's safety. The rest of the family would still be in danger regardless.

So my advice, in general, would be for your friend to get out of that abusive family, live somewhere else, etc, as much as possible.

Y'all are kids, I hope y'all survive childhood, and if any of y'all get further harmed I want y'all to remember that: the harm was not self-inflicted, that the adults around y'all hurt y'all.

Since y'all are kids y'all also qualify for the Trevor project, but be careful with them because all 988 providers will call the cops if "imminent harm" is believed to be near.

Good Luck, Peace & Love,

Eve

[allaganexarch]

Oh no these asks are GREAT I want to ask like ten of them ummmmmmmm having Restraint: 3 (vibe check) 4 ( 👀 ) 17 (especially curious abt your editing process?? I am so greedy for your tradecraft secrets) aaaaand 19 (I recently researched….. doormats. that made me feel very sane about my choices please tell me about yours)

GOOD EVENING i have finally returned to what is truly important, my tumblr ask box.

3. how you feel about your current WIP

JNSDKJFSDKNJ NOT THE VIBE CHECK but you know, I had a smol breakthrough like two? nights ago that i have yet to actually follow up on LOL. I had this transition section where i was like i need to impart some Vibes and some Character Arc but i'm literally boring myself rn, and I think I have figured out in a vague sense how to make the transition do a lot more work for me, so that's good!

In general I'm extremely excited about some Major Points of the thing, just currently have to do an inordinate amount of sowing seeds for those major points in a way that's like subtle enough that I'm not hitting the reader over the head but also exists enough that the careful reader will pick up on it you feel?

4. a story idea you haven’t written yet

Side note before I even start answering...sometimes I think about how many of my """"""story ideas""""""""""" are just glorified weather metaphors. I am genuinely not sure what happened in my brain to make me like this. What has the weather EVER done to me.

Uhm so anyway since I'm thinking about Stormchaser, definitely a story idea and not just a weather metaphor in a trench coat, why don't I tell you a little bit about my characters because I'm very normal about them.

The first person [main character we are tentatively naming Emily] meets in the city is Nolan, who owns a small bar and restaurant that she won in a messy divorce. She puts on an act of tough-and-wry-and-world-weary, but she's very soft-hearted and has a bit of a savior complex, a bit of that 'i don't want what happened to me to happen to anyone else' vibe.

She has taken in Asher and Aislynn, siblings from a prominent and wealthy family who have had a [very mysterious] falling out with their parents and are thus in need of a place to stay. Asher is guarded and protective, while Aislynn is very open and warm. People often perceive her as naive, but Aislynn actively chooses to see the best in others.

Aislynn has magic, which is the source of many of her problems. (This is like kind of a reveal but the foreshadowing is painfully obvious LOL) Back when I was thinking about Stormchaser as a multi-path story, one major decision point was going to be, in a moment where the player character is hurt (not gravely, but still not in great shape), choosing whether to allow Aislynn to use magic to heal her. It would have a huge impact on the MC's relationships with most of the other major characters, since most of them have very strong opinions either about magic or about Aislynn herself. Aislynn is also the reason I ended up wanting to write the story--I had an overarching idea for the plot, but I got soooo attached to her so quickly!

17. talk about your writing and editing process

as we all know my writing process is just getting possessed by some sort of weather-related entity and then not sleeping until well after the sun has risen, so I think that's pretty clear and doesn't raise any sort of questions or concerns.

if no weather entity possession, my strategy has become "just force yourself to write the painful and clunky sentences at the speed of molasses and then look at it again tomorrow" -- because most of the time the next day I can fix what was clunky really easily bc I made space in my brain by getting the ideas down, and sometimes, extra special treat, I reread what I wrote and it's literally not even bad I was just in a mood LOL.

I feel like a very large percentage of my editing is just being extremely insane about word choice. Sometimes I go back and forth on word choice/word order/very very minor sentence structure things literally long after the thing is published and I am trying to tell myself to let it go. But tbh I don't really have a process for this, it's just what jumps out at me when I reread it as being awkward or not quite what I was going for. I'm probably like this because I used to be such an insufferable snob (used to be!!!!) and needlessly chose so many ten dollar words that I think I have a better-than-average sense of when simpler language is better vs. when you need a more complex word to describe the thing. So it sort of depends on the character whether I do a lot of deleting or adding of extra fluff and filler words LOL.

I'm alllll about limited POV and creating a headspace/thought pattern for characters, so I do a lot of thinking about what the specific character knows, how the specific character would express something, or whether she even has the language for what she's experiencing. I really love finding ways of conveying an emotion that the reader will recognize but the character doesn't!!

On a more macro scale I think I do a lot of, like, "this section is boring me. why?" In a story you really don't want anything that's doing nothing, and you definitely don't want a whole section that's not doing much. Sometimes because I try to make my dialogue as natural as possible the conversation starts to kind of wander LOL, and so I have to be like okay hold up what are we talking about what needs to be established here. And then usually jump back a bit and figure out how to lead the conversation in a more pointed direction.

And a lot of the time idk how much transitional stuff to include, so I'll be off on some rambling journey like uhmmmm do I need this??? when do we get to the fun part???? Which, like, not to say the fun part will be easier to write or anything, but a lot of time that feeling of boredom is bc what I'm doing either isn't necessary and can be accomplished in a way that's more fun for me personally OR it's fine it just needs to be pulling a lot more weight in what it's telling the reader. I find I sometimes get caught up in, like, a story beat that would "make sense here" as opposed to a story beat I personally like.

Like, as an example, I've been thinking (for soooo long yes i know) about how to continue the chance you take, and I remember I put in my notes that like a sparring scene would make sense, where you know it's all a metaphor and there's some quippy dialogue or w/e. And ik a lot of people like that kind of scene! And idk, sometimes I do too! But like........I don't want to do that lol! And in fact I think it doesn't actually fit with the vibe of the story, which is so much less about the violence surrounding it and so much more about the quiet moments in between. But I'm literally just thinking this now as I'm typing this. Like I didn't have a good reason for why I didn't want to progress the story that way until literally right now.

Which I guess leads me to another very important editing tool: pacing my kitchen like a crazy person explaining the problem I'm having to myself so I can try to talk through why it's bothering me LOL! as you can see it's extremely efficient and time-sensitive. six to ten business days turnaround for sure.

19. the most interesting topic you’ve researched for a fic

chickens :)

I'm genuinely drawing a blank LOL, I've definitely looked into a few things I can vividly remember (boats/ships and how crews and shifts work for TCYT, horse riding/cart pulling for scorched earth, how animal testing works for uhmmm that one moicy fic, oh and I remember i looked a lot into bird symbolism for the prisoner LOL) but I think mostly what I do is intensely study the source material, and I haven't run into that many situations where I felt like I needed to make sure I knew about something in the actual world and not the fictional one LOL! Wow I'm boring! I want to know about doormats!!!!!

fic writer asks!

#the tumblr post editor has caused me so many newly discovered stages of grief i stg #exciting tag for answered asks #exciting tag for writing things #personal #tumblr editor leave my read more where i put it challenge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #put that thing back where it came from or so help me!!!!!!!!!!

[jeonstellate]

timestamp: parallel

it’s 8:10 pm when you beg minghao to love you.

๑彡 xu minghao x gender neutral!reader

๑彡 arranged marriage!au — little angst(?)

๑彡 paragraph format — 0.6K words

masterlist

[gif’s full credit belongs solely to its owner]

Xu Minghao is the most ideal husband one can possibly have. He is a man mothers and grandmothers try to introduce their children and grandchildren to. He is a man people know of, even if they cannot be bothered to know about the industry he belongs in.

Polite. Witty. Charming.

Those are the words, along with their variations, that never leave the murmurs of people who had to pleasure to interact with him. No one ever contradicts them, nor has any experiences that prove otherwise.

In short, Xu Minghao is someone everybody adores. And you, just like everybody else, are no exception.

You belong in the same crowd as Minghao. You had similar upbringings, which later on transitioned into similar life paths. However, despite growing up and existing alongside him, you two rarely meet.

You and Minghao are akin to parallel lines. Except your "parallel" also means "coinciding."

Especially since Xu Minghao, the son-in-law every mother wishes to have and the husband every woman and woman-alike dream of, is legally bonded to you.

You are living the dream of thousands, if not millions, of people as Minghao’s spouse. Yet, although you realized it, that dream is never yours. Not even once.

Xu Minghao is a mere obligation to you, as you are to him. Your marriage is a mere favor from your respective parents; an unfortunate manifestation of an old familial pact. (Albeit neither of you have supported the idea from the beginning, neither of you contested the proposal, either, hence the commencement.)

You have never desired Minghao in a way a lover should, much less how a spouse should. You admire him, yes, but that feeling is twinned with nonchalance rather than anything romantic.

To you, Xu Minghao is exactly how people see him as — and so much more.

Perhaps that is why you find it easy to learn how to love him, despite his ice cold demeanor towards you.

You do not hold anything against him, even if his affections for you are strictly for show. You chose to learn how to love him all on your own, as an attempt to make your life easier. Likewise, you do not expect him to follow your lead on how to handle your shared situation — especially if there must be a hundred different ways to go on about it.

But you cannot blame yourself if you also learned how to despise the method he did choose, either.

"Please love me."

You never meant to dictate how he should feel, but his chosen expression of his feelings hurt you more than you would like to admit. (After all, as much as his feelings are valid, yours are, too.)

You have given him two years to come in terms with your marriage. Within those two years, you tried everything to develop any type of relationship with him. But, alas, every attempt you made is ignored — leaving you to a last resort.

"I can’t."

His response is left unadorned — without an apology nor any other comforting gestures. It is left as it is, cold and true. And as much as it hurt to hear, you do not prefer his rejection to be any other way.

Because now you know he has no plans to try at all.

In the morning of your third anniversary, you leave him divorce papers and your wedding ring.

Thank you, your note says, for being honest with me until the end.

You and Xu Minghao really are like parallel lines. Always appearing next to each other, as if coinciding, but never actually do. (After all, besides the shallow reflection of love being mistaken for the real thing, neither of you really cared for one another.)

#xu minghao x reader #the8 x reader #seventeen x reader #xu minghao imagines #the8 imagines #seventeen imagines #xu minghao scenarios #the8 scenarios #seventeen scenarios #xu minghao oneshots #the8 oneshots #seventeen oneshots #arranged marriage!au #xu minghao #the8 #seventeen

[rcbrths]

hi x4. it’s rae (she/they, 25+, cst) one last time. my discord user is still available by request to whoever prefers that. anyway i’m the mun behind poe, haeoreum and yoosu. this guy is joaquin and you can find his profile over here and his pinterest right here. if you leave me a like on this post i’ll come around and plot with you! if you’d like to reach out first to plot with joaquin here i’d ask that you either dm me on discord or im me on my main account poe since i’d like to try and keep everything in one place. i'll be making sure that i've got a message out to everyone who's liked so far.

BACKGROUND

alrighty so here is my last son the very grumpy and prickly joaquin. born in toluca, mexico to a scottish mother and a mexican father, joaquin became bilingual from a very early age able to swap back and forth between english and spanish with ease

joaquin's mother was an artist and joaquin often spent time with her in her studio creating his own works of art as a child and his father was a salaryman, so joaquin was often with his mother

it was no real surprise when he grew up that joaquin chose to pursue art he got a degree in art from the autonomous university of mexico state or universidad autónoma del estado de méxico and managed to quickly land a job as an illustrator for a children's book

the book blew up in mexico and joaquin's distinctive whimsical water color illustrations were a large part of the reason why, because of that he ended up illustrating five more books for that author and this earned him both a good amount of royalties and a lot of good will in the industry

around the time he was on book three he met the woman who would go on to become his ex-wife, shin hyemi. joaquin fell for her quick and hard and so did she, by the time he was 25 joaquin was getting married

hyemi brought up wanting to move back to south korea before they got married and joaquin agreed to the idea because hyemi wanted to take care of her aging parents and joaquin understood that. so they decided to work towards moving back to south korea together

they made the move when joaquin was thirty and it was a very rough time, joaquin knew some korean but not nearly enough and it was a really difficult transition at first, not made easier by joaquin's father passing from a sudden massive heart attack two years after the move

the fighting started not long after his father's death, hyemi and joaquin couldn't quite see eye to eye on things anymore she didn't understand why joaquin felt so alienated and he didn't understand why she wouldn't entertain the idea of moving back to mexico in their later years

they stayed together entirely too long honestly, but neither of them was truly willing to totally give up. until eventually hyemi cracked first and filed for divorce. however, instead of being amicable the divorce turned ugly quickly and hyemi took joaquin for almost everything he had

this was only made worse when joaquin's mother died in the midst of the divorce. he fell apart. he eventually found himself going to the sharehouse because there wasn't a lot else he could think of and that's where he worked out a deal with the landlord to not pay rent in exchange for helping out as a handyman

PLOT IDEAS

other people living in the sharehouse, likely much younger and less curmudgeonly than joaquin. he's not so much a father figure as like a reluctant grumpy uncle who will give you the best advice and commiserate with you when you're feeling down

people who knew him when he was married to hyemi, unfortunately that does mean that joaquin would be even grumpier and angrier than he is now so take that as you will

some artist friends of any kind

along those lines maybe a couple baby artists who he kinda took under his wing as a mentor figure because he sees a little bit of himself in them

anything else you can come up with

#jongno:hello #oo1 ― 𝚓𝚘𝚊𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚗 • ( ooc )

[acourtofthought]

Hello there! I absolutely love all your Elucien posts. You are just a gift!!! I saw this post saying that it would be “wrong” and “unprofessional” of SJM to NOT make E*riel endgame because they’re the only ones “romantically coded” I mean idk if I read that right but….is this ridiculous or what?

That’s like saying Feyre and Rhysand becoming endgame was wrong and unprofessional for SJM to do because Feyre and Tamlin were the ones romantically coded in the first book. Also, did everyone just forget that Elain and Lucien are STILL canonically factually mates?! In SJM canon, that’s one of the most “romantically coded” things you can have.

I just….I can’t with some of these people….

Anyway, thoughts?

Thank you so much for your message and really kind words!!! ❤️

As far as it being wrong or unprofessional of SJM to not make E/riel endgame, I am completely in sync with your thoughts.

A. This is the authors book and she can do whatever she wants with these characters. Considering it's her world, there's nothing "unprofessional" or "wrong" if it's where her imagination takes her. Authors all over the world have love triangles in their novels, characters in polyamorous relationships, characters who start off the book with a spouse who they end up divorced from only to find another love by the end, enemies to lovers, etc. Yeah, maybe a reader doesn't like the direction the author went with a particular relationship but there is no place where readers should be telling the author how she should be writing her own work.

B. Arguments like this make me shake my head. Have these people never read an SJM book before? Have they not paid attention to the other characters in the ACOTAR series?

SJM has a very specific formula she often follows. Most of her main leads tend to have multiple relationships before finally settling with their endgame person. She enjoys taking us on a journey with the character, watching them grow as individuals and through their past relationships.

Celeana / Aelin was in love with Sam, had a brief moment with Dorian, was in love with Chaol, then ended up with Rowan.

Feyre had a fling with Isaac, was engaged to Tamlin, entertained the idea of what it would be like to fall in love with Tarquin, then ended up mated to Rhys.

Both Rhys and Cassian talk about the past lovers they had and we know how much romantic coding Az had with Mor at certain points.

Nesta really didn't have an emotional relationship with anyone but Cassian (which is fitting of her character) however she had a thing with Tomas and many physical experiences with others before ending up with Cassian.

Chaol was with Nesryn, then Celeana, then had romantic coding again with Nesryn, then ended up with Yrene (who he had zero romantic coding with at the start of TOD).

Dorian was a playboy, then had feelings for Celeana, then fell in love with Sorcha, then ended up having a thing with Manon.

Yes, not every character has multiple relationships because she doesn't have time to follow everyone's story. Yrene was a female lead however we only ever saw her with Chaol. But, acting like Elain and Az having romantic coding now MUST mean that they will end up together is a bit naïve in my opinion. If anything, based on history, I think readers who ship E/riel should be extremely concerned that they had romantic coding and over a year of being able to freely hang out before either of them had their own book. That rarely has a positive outcome for an SJM ship.

I feel like both Az and Elain were a stepping stone for one another. A transition between letting go of their past loves and finding their way to their endgame person. Yes, they had romantic coding but flings / rebounds often do. That's normal in real life. We have romantic coding with many people before we finally settle down with who we're meant to be with.

I hate to make a blanket statement or sound judgmental about this but anyone that truly can't understand that Az and Elain (through the author) are allowed to "think" they want the other one at the moment but have the right to change their mind and realize that maybe they aren't meant to be together long term either doesn't understand how SJM writes and / or relationships in real life.

Thank you again for your message and have a wonderful eveing!

#anti e/riel