#LTABJ

[lowerthanapplebottomj]

If you ever find my tumblr,

And- you might.

I sincerely just want to say, from the bottom of my shattered soul-

FUCK YOU.

I deserved better and you know that.

You fucking knew that.

#mentally exhausted #writing #reading #poetry #poem #romance #literature #lost love #mental health #love story #BPD #NPD #LTABJ #mentally fucked #what the fuck #heartbreak #heartbroken #sad thoughts #sad girl vibes #Actually fuck you

[lowerthanapplebottomj]

I lay here in this room, like I haven’t done it a thousand times before

Breathing slowly, the stillness sets in and I realize that I have never healed from everyone who has never appreciated my worth.

I gave every single last piece of my innocence to thieves of the night.

They brought me fools gold, when I traded in the last bits of my soul.

People keep finding me this way

Lost, damaged and haunted, like a abandoned ship.

They want to keep me for themselves, they want to fix me, they see so much potential.

They never believe me when I tell them they can’t,

The worst part was trying so hard to prove to them I am worth something when I had nothing left to offer.

Whispering sweet nothings in my ear as we dance wildly in temporary oblivion.

The dream world where they get to sail away with me, go on adventures and fuck me raw while the sun sets in shades of purple and red.

but they realize that there’s black mold in the floor boards, theres skeletons in the barrels, the anchor got caught in something dense on the ocean floor.

So they leave me to rot in the waters that I’ve so deeply let myself drown in time and time before

They just love playing pretend, they collect all the most authentic attire,

I was just an accessory.

So I lay here, in this room

and think to myself-

Fuck that.

My worth was never tangible in the first place.

#writing #poem #lost love #literature #poetry #short story #romance #reading #LTABJ #songwriter #Ex #truama

[lowerthanapplebottomj]

The Fog

You laid with me that first night and all the pain I ever felt in my entire life disappeared.

The moment your hand touched mine, I kissed you like a love struck teenager.

Now we hold each other in the fog, not seeing anything that lies in front of us, but your atoms know mine, and I am no stranger to this darkness.

With darkness comes light. Even the darkest clouds have lightning, and that’s exactly how we found each other.

Our souls scattered, screaming out precious commandments of faith that one day things will get better.

And it will. My love, it will.

I lost myself so I could find you

So please,

Let us sway to the rhythm we’ve danced in the several lives my soul has known yours.

Let’s speak our silent language until the end of our days.

Let me show you where to go.

Take my hand.

I know the way.

#poem #poetry #lost love #reading #literature #love story #mental health #mentally exhausted #poems on tumblr #writing #love quotes #love poems #shitpost #shit poetry #LTABJ

[lowerthanapplebottomj]

We took a picture of my favorite star constellation that night, you know the one— we were untouchable.

Time stopped and euphoric youth ran through our veins. You were the best damn drug I’ve ever tried.

I was so in love with you.

Missing you comes in waves of grief and so many questions.

I think the answers are just ones I’ve avoided, ones you’ve avoided too. Too scared to hurt me. You loved me, you weren’t ready, you didn’t want to bleed on me but you did love me— at least for a time. Nothing can change my mind about that. Absolutely nothing.

Months later you still had the picture as your screen saver. My dog as your profile picture and we were tip toeing around making each other jealous.

I was a fucking mess. You loved me as much as you could and I am so grateful to have known you in that time. So grateful.

We both realized that it had to end. We were two car crashes who couldn’t stop staring at each other.

I miss you, always.

We were wild for each other, weren’t we?

#writing #poems on tumblr #poetry #poem #literature #reading #lost love #mentally exhausted #mental health #love story #LTABJ #confessionsofaborderline #COAB #sad girl vibes

[lowerthanapplebottomj]

Sometimes you gotta keep your traumas to yourself.

It’s like an instruction manual to people on what they think you’re capable of enduring.

#writing #poem #poetry #reading #literature #love story #mental health #mentally exhausted #poems on tumblr #lost love #LTABJ #quotes #quoteoftheday