#LIKE NOW U GOT ME WORRIED OUT HERE

[thatdeadaquarius]

Genshin Impact Sagau/Isekai:

You still have acces to characters! ...by possessing them. 👻

PART 2 (you're here!) / Part 1

All art by me! :] leave me a iced coffee?? :0

HEY!! REALLY QUICK PLEASE READ!

STOP tagging my posts as "Yandere Sagau", "Sagau Cult AU", "Sagau Imposter AU" or other related dark content tags.

I'm sick of seeing reblogs that tag my work as dark content, when I'm specifically trying to LIGHTEN UP THE SAGAU TAG 😭😭??

Please be more respectful of this. Actually read the work before you just tag it incorrectly. Tags do matter.

/nm /gen

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Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them)

Planet: Misc. Genshin AUs

Orbit: Headcanons, Scenarios

Stars: Tighnari ft. Cyno, Alhaitham, Collei

Comets & Meteors:

Content Warnings: Mild violence (bandit attacks/non-graphic), Reader/you possess people non-consent (mild/consent given eventually)

& Trigger Warnings: Reader/"you" possess people non-consenually for short times, but given consent eventually.

(pls comment if any more!)

Edit 9/7/23: 1,000+ NOTES?? WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE WHY- THANK YOU???

Edit 12/24/23 + 4/5/24:

☆

My goofy ass forgot to put this here .-.

Anyway this is a full length fanfic now ;)

…mistakes were made.

bad decisions were had, and okay, mayyybbbeee you could’ve taken more precautions against people finding out you were “real”.

afterall, you did see the Eremites reaction, even if it was only two guys (one from each camp) that you possessed :/

word spreads quickly amongst the Eremites groups, you guess, bc next thing you knew, after you’d moved closer to floating around Gandharva Ville,

they’d called that entire bit of forest haunted.

BUT IN YOUR DEFENSE-!! how were you supposed to know they’d blab to the whole camp they didn’t remember the past 20 minutes after you unpossessed them?? and immediately be on guard and jump to possession?? (Irminsul works hard but eremites/sumeru people work harder u guess)

And by the time you were happily patrolling with Collei, the forest rangers were just so chill you didn’t really expect anybody would think a ghost was possessing them (or whatever you were now… maybe,, just code?? it’s unclear)

so when u start to see Tighnari squint at people who’ve technically just “woken up” after you possessed them, mumbling under his breath more and more as a file he carries around gets thicker and thicker-

you start to think,,, maybe.

okay, mayyybbbeee,

you’ve fucked up.

◇

You really can’t help it, first it was making sure Collei got back safely from patrols (she’s ur skrunkly okay, you can’t help it, you’re still aware she’s capable but- the urge to skrunkle overpowers you- )

but then-!! You managed to spot Cyno! :D its ur boy!! ur little meow meow, who can throw people over his shoulder!! He really doesn’t need you, hovering around, but eh ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

what could it hurt! …it’s not like he can see, hear, or feel you anyway…

(unless u possess some animal/machine he thinks is friendly, which. sumeru is not exactly known for cuddly creatures. you don’t feel like experiencing death when possessing stuff just yet-)

imagine ur panic and shock as the General Mahamatra takes on a camp of criminals on the run, only for one of the old ruin machines (the ones that are just LEG and DEATH)

to hear the ruckus and come stomping around a thick patch of trees, it launched missiles!! You can’t warn Cyno, he can’t hear you!! No one can!!! The criminals are unconscious, there’s no other wildlife nearby they all ran off!!! FUCK-

You look at him and try to imagine his perspective as vividly as you can, he’s looking over the criminals, but now he’s turning, so people passed out and the tree-line got it-

Congratulations! You’ve possessed Cyno. 💀

It completely disorients you for a second, but then the panic of dodging the missiles comes back in time for you to make his body dive and roll off to the side, for as long as you can manage a roll too since you remember that’s the best way to dodge missiles in the game

…which works really well! bc he’s so fit and agile tbh

It was weird to finally run again after so long (two months now in teyvat?? wow)

with your feet suddenly in sandals, and feeling the breeze chilling your bare chest (Cyno’s chest??)

yeah its a shock considering most of the ppl you’ve possessed lately have been fully clothed rangers lol

you quickly imagine your ghostly form again, and just like that you’re drifting out of Cyno in ur “ghosty” form, having floated out and away from his back

Poor guy looks so fucking confused, and immediately is wielding his spear again, and is about to get out the crouch you put him in behind the dilapidated stone wall (dammit he better not waste ur efforts to keep him alive-)

until missiles slam and explode against it, he ducks back down (thank fuck) and Cyno just looks around one last time before hopping the wall and running to fight the thing

you notice that when the electro user goes to use his powers, they seem stronger than they were in his fight with the goons??

Maybe he was just going easier on them, since they are only human?

…so why does even Cyno look surprised when he goes to make a simple swipe with his charged spear and a bolt of lightning cracks out from his spear instead…?

…weird.

◇

Tighnari knows you’re here.

You figure he must have collected the reports of people “blacking out” or “sleep-walking” or whatever else and begun to suspect the worst.

…to be honest, you’re not sure what to do.

on one hand, it would be great to have someone know you actually exist, as yourself,

but on the other…

What would Tighnari think?

Of you possessing his rangers?? Temporarily taking ownership of someone without permission??? You’re afraid he’d think the worst of you…

tho u didn’t do so often, as u realized how messed up this could be, and u never did more than make them walk or talk normally for a few minutes before leaving them alone!

… afterall, you missed interacting with people. You were honestly a little worried abt going crazy, which is the only reason u were desperate enough to possess human people in the first place and continue doing so, just to talk to someone and have them look you in the face again like you really did exist as a person here-

(u thought u remember reading somewhere back on Earth that someone can only last 3 days of no other human contact until they start to lose it? but even if that’s not true, at the very least, u dont think talking one-sidedly to yourself all the time is healthy…)

so when Tighnari seems to get that file you’ve seen him adding onto, and gather up supplies, mentioning a day trip to Collei and the others to Sumeru City for some

“further research into these ‘blackouts’, and also contacting some of my colleagues who might know something…”

there’s no way you’re not going with him.

you feel increasingly anxious all day, and at one point when you were sure Tighnari was walled-in by books at the House of Daena, decide to go blow off the anxious energy by possessing an animal to get some food!

…you’re not really feeling comfortable enough to possess a living being into eating yet, that seems hella nonconsensual, and u kinda would be taking the joy of the meal from them tbh-

so u possess a cat!

a ginger cat, bc u like to think if u do anything weird, that ppl in Teyvat have the same type of cats back on Earth and excuse it as just:

“unhinged ginger cats being unhinged ginger cats yep makes sense” lol

you’d managed to be really cute (and wasn’t that weird, having to mimic animal behaviors like rubbing ur side against a person’s legs..)

and convince one of the cooks of Lambad’s Tavern to give u some leftovers, and been about to go off to try out sunbathing before the chore boy, little shit he is, tried to chase you off with a broom!! >:( the audacity!! you clearly have a little plate and everything!!

luckily, you’d finished eating, but still! Ouch!! those bristles fucking hurt-!!!

…you look and see a Sumeru-ified version of a skateboard, and u just know ur little cat face is just ✨v✨

and u steal the little shit’s skateboard as revenge! HAHA thats what you get animal abuser!!!

The kid’s yelling at you as you speedily skate away with ur little cat paws (LMAOO), but the cooks are calling him back in so he can’t pursue, (oh good u hear them get onto him for chasing u off)

and as u slow down to coast along the Sumeru streets,

you feel someone’s eyes staring you down.

You assume it’s just people being amused at a cat skateboarding, obv

but when you look just ahead of you to see a smiling Sumeru citizen or eremite-

Oh. It’s Alhaitham.

and he’s just… watching you.

he’s stopped reading whatever he’s got in his hand, and is slowlyyyy turning his head as you pass by…

You decide to just keep skating away. LMAO

◇

it’s already sunset by the you’re accompanying Tighnari back from Sumeru City, floating along behind him

and you’d been expecting a calm walk back, tbh you’d been feeling a little better bc the ranger hadn’t found much to identify you, yet, luckily-

but bc u can never catch a break:

Tighnari didn’t see the bandits dropping from the goddamn trees BEHIND HIM- and they had like claymores out- those were definitely gonna be killing blows-!!

so yeah.

You possessed Tighnari.

turns out ur pretty good at dodging bc this is second time now you’ve helped dive away for someone in an ambush, ur kinda proud of urself tbh💀

and as you make him take a few leaps back, ur ears twitch in the wind as you duck behind a tree, then float away and out of his body

The poor hybrid ranger visibly sways, then shakes his head out of it, and he flicks his ears in different directions, squinting into the woods, he’s pulled out his bow, so you’re at least reassured he’s aware there are enemies

Like Cyno last week, he too gives up and rolls for the next tree for cover and begins to shoot and take down the bandits

the rest of the week is kinda a blur after that, bc it’s mostly filled with Tighnari running in circles around the camp checking for blackouts, writing letters to Alhaitham and Cyno apparently, and you not possessing anybody out of paranoia :/

Most notably however,

you’ve unfortunately discovered one of the few drawbacks of ur possessions

(y’know, besides not existing essentially, what with no one being able to sense u outside of possessions)

apparently, if someone walks thru you, they accidentally force you to possess them 💀??

while it’d already happened once with a random ranger that you didnt notice was walking up behind you,

you didn’t want to test it again just yet bc it kinda made YOU nauseous and incredibly dizzy when this happened

(as in, u stumbled like a drunk after this poor ranger woman ran thru u, until you were so dizzy and the world spun sm u had to make her sit on the literal ground, luckily she just thought she was just really dehydrated when she came back into herself 😭)

so obviously, you’ve avoided crowds to keep this forced possession thingy from happening all the time

like at the Forest Rangers meetings or something, ur watching off to the side, instead of standing with them or beside them

so needless to say, after about a week and half since possessing Tighnari,

you definitely did not mean to possess Collei.

She’d been in her wheelchair today, the Eleazar flaring up and tiring her body out

so her wheels had been entirely silent when she rolled up to where you and Tighnari were leaning over some strange experiments of his- you were just trying to figure out what all these mirrors were for, didn’t he do plants more-?

you didn’t even know what the hell happened, you just felt that familiar dropping sensation, like a small drop on a rollarcoaster, blinked, and then suddenly you were sitting instead of standing/floating???

Oh god-

before you could even begin to process that Tighnari was in front of you instead of beside you, the world was shorter,

The fox-eared ranger yelled in triumph, grinning with sharp fangs and spinning around to look at you (Collei)-

“Ah-ha! It worked! Finally, I saw you! I saw you, I-?? Oh gods, Collei, NO-!”

And with quick reflexes, Tighnari’s summoned his bow, but he’s clearly confused on what to do about this situation, taking aim, but also holding the air glowing with dendro not as taunt as you’d seen him in the battle with the bandits

You scramble to raise your hands up, brown poofy sleeves rise to your command, light green hair you can feel on your shoulders, everything is familiar, but not-

“WAIT! I’m sorry!! This was an accident, I promise! I don’t intend to hurt Collei, or you!! Please, just, don’t shoot me, I think you’ll just hurt Collei instead…”

You talk him down and decide, that if he’s put this much effort into finding out about your existence, is an incredible leader and friend to everyone around him, and was able to accept the traveler and many other strange things that’ve (probably? maybe?) already happened in Sumeru (god fuck u dont even know where in the timeline you are)

that you can probably trust Tighnari with your existence, and your powers.

…He nearly passes out.

◇

Life has gotten a lot funnier, and happier, since you told Tighnari (and some of the more trustworthy rangers and Collei by proxy) about ur existence (or really, confirmed it)

He’d been wary at first, appropiately cautious and demanding answers, of which you were happy to give and explain yourself

luckily, after a whole lot of “hmm, I see, no, I think I’m understanding-” , finger on his chin and everything

he’s said it’s okay to hang around the rangers, so long as you don’t possess anyone anymore without them knowing about you/with permission (outside of emergency situations that is)

tho he did seem surprisingly understanding and accepting of you doing it before after you explained how u were just unbelievably lonely and were lowkey paranoid of going crazy-

The rangers seem to believe you’re some kind of god/spirit thing, as you had no explanation yourself as to what you were ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

Tighnari’s also given you the rule to help out around here if you’re going to “ghost-laze around”, as he puts it lol

you’ve redirected ruin machines/feral animals away from rangers many times by now, to the many thanks and gratefulness of the rangers

you’ve even managed to even figure out how to push Collei’s wheelchair around when she uses it!

mostly by possessing tree after tree and using vines, or occasionally a fungi that can fly so you can nudge her along

she has insisted that you possess a ruin guard and carry her just to try it… however, Tighnari overheard her talking to the forest rangers’ dog (you) and immediately knew shit was up and banned you from doing it (at least not yet)

While most rangers are okay with you possessing them for a few minutes (and they’ve developed this bandana wrapped around their upper arms policy of “red = no possess, green = go ahead”)

Collei is the most okay with it and for longer, so you “won’t be that lonely ever again!” :’)

Tighnari is busy with stuff, so you can’t possess him as often, but the ranger has developed a theory that the more you possess someone, the more they can sense your feelings during possession/while floating around in ghost form too,

so he’ll occasionally feel you in the room with him, and start talking out loud in some one-sided convo to make you feel more included to make up for not being able to interact with him sometimes :)

(after taking you off his list of worries he’s still pretty swamped, not that he’ll tell you that, as he’s still not quite sure why he’s so, warm and safe feeling when you’re around, so willing to trust you so naturally, that it makes him want to at leats pretend to be worried abt a possessing ghost god/thing hanging out with the rangers now)

◇

basically everything is great!

the rangers are okay with you, they got a system to interact with you consensually, Tighnari and Collei are fond of you, you get to finally have something to do instead of floating around all the time (joining ranger missions)

and look!! they’ve even been kind enough to build you a little shrine or altar of sorts! Notes about Sumeru life, recipes for you to try, occasionally some books for you to read, and even some snacks/desserts for you to try out the next time someone possesses you and gives consent! (you leave them a little note stuck on their hand with your question for specific actions like that, if there isn’t another ranger there to ask for you when you unpossess them)

and everything is so cool, and everyone is so sweet and accepting

…Until Alhaitham shows up in Gandharva Ville, knocking on Tighnari’s door.

☆

AHHHH idk if this is any good! sorry it took so long, it was mostly the art 😭😭

anyway its not the best (the writing or the art) but i hope it’s at least some content to look at and be entertained for a minute!

also figured it was a good day to post what with the attack on our beloved Ao3 (tho i think it’s back up now?)

anyway, feel free to leave critiques on this one! (which I’ll probably turn this into a real fic one day soon, but not sure what to do with the plot/do a diff setup than this or what)

☆

sorry abt the radio silence! I just needed to close my mailbox bc i had a lot of stuff to answer, ur welcome to send submissions to chat/non-requests!

and also this took time to make (once again, mostly the art, bc thats how it always is with art isnt it 😭)

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Safe Travels Stranger,

💀♒

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♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @justlostintheinternet   / @assassinsnake101 /@sun-wokung

If ur tag is here and didnt work, idk why!

Maybe see if your listed as a "searchable blog"?

#srry i took long to post #its bc i was working on this #and this meant both writing and art 💀 #MORE IMPORTANTLY #STOP TAGGING MY STUFF AS YANDERE/DARK #LIKE NOW U GOT ME WORRIED OUT HERE #on one hand #what tf do u see as dark?? #on the other... AM I UNINTENTIONALLY WRITING DARK CONTENT-?!!?!! #anyway love u guys and thanks for the patience #lol this was originally for 100 followers celeb if that matters to anyone #genshin impact #genshin sagau #sagau #genshin isekai #genshin imagines #gender neutral reader #genshin impact sagau #genshin impact self aware #genshin self insert #genshin impact possession au #genshin possession au #sagau possession au #sagau x reader

[b4kuch1n]

tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"

#bakuspeech #number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u #he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up #(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out) #we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment #and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here #but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something #but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku #but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this #this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and #that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing #but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it #its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with #and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually #I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay #but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol #not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real #and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself #and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god #that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao #but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them #have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway

[padfootastic]

H E L L O jfp-eyes pen (thats your new name btw)

i know its a little late but my mind keep going back to it and i also talked about a similar issue w several other people on here since and i was wondering if you can/want elaborate on what you said about this:

"like, u want potters to be desi? it’s not just the cute clothes and good food and linguistic differences u need to keep in mind. there’s so much more where it comes from, including several practices that will be considered highly objectionable by this rigidly judgemental crowd."

((i am v v interested but no pressure to answer this, i totally get if you dont want to get into this discourse))

dani—you’re gonna pull me into the desi potters discourse one way or the other, eh?

so. i’m not sure how much sense this’ll make because it’s like…half-baked thoughts but my problem with this scenario actually stems from a more macro, general trend i’m noticing in fandom behaviour. for some reason, puritan culture & veiled conservatism is coming back in the guise of progressiveness? and that’s leading to a lack of critical thinking in these spaces & randomly attributing buzzwords to things out of context bc u don’t have more than a shallow understanding of it.

which means that that comment was directed at a very specific subset of fandom that decided that idk ignoring the Bad Things & Flaws would somehow make them cease to exist. let’s only take the most ‘exotic’, fun aspects even if it’s a completely one dimensional reading & run with it. they wouldn’t be able to tell u what desi is beyond the barebones.

so, you’ll have people vehemently arguing that the potters can’t be anything but desi and white james is gross and i’m just like—why. why are u, as a non-desi person, so attached to this headcanon that you’ll ridicule real people for it? and then their attitudes as well. the incest thing, for example. there are communities in india that marry their first cousins—if i write a story tomorrow where james marries his mother’s imaginary brother’s daughter, then depending on how i HC him, that’s perfectly culturally acceptable (and desirable). if i write a story where euphemia and fleamont use corporal punishment for him, and he takes it super lightly and jokes about it, that’s also fine. (which is a direct contrast to how the western black family & sirius’ abuse is treated). there’ a community in india where the man ‘drinks’ from his mother’s breast, publicly, at his wedding to symbolise the last time he’d be her son before he becomes someone’s husband. another where a new mother can’t feed her son until her sister-in-law washes her breast thoroughly. caste is something that’s not even touched upon. it’s so complicated. but how do u think it’ll be received by most of the desi potter crowd if i actually do write any of this? will i be praised for my ~representation or called out on twitter for being a freak?

and that’s really where i get annoyed. the attitudes most of this crowd hold does not have any space for cultural subjectivity, what is ok to them has to be universally ethical. there’s no way other cultures do things their way and if they do, it’s barbaric/backward/problematic etc etc. pseudo-colonial, like i said.

(disclaimer: i want it to be made very clear i’m not demanding people nclude this stuff in their fics. i’m well aware of how escapism works, being the premier advocate for it. im just saying it won’t hurt to be mindful of these facts, that this is a whole culture that’s ridiculously diverse that doesn’t just exist for the sake of people’s headcanons)

and this isn’t even going into the cultural nuances of how desi families work. you can’t bring in american/european individualism & have james move out at 18 & write everything transactionally & do everything the way u would for a white character but only pay lip service when saying they’re brown ykno? when u say they’re a certain identity, there’s so much that comes with that. and if u don’t include any of that, then it really just makes me wonder why u want a brown james—feels like ego appeasement and falling to peer pressure half the time tbh.

another important thing for me is that so much of this crowd intersects with the ‘fandom is activism’ crowd and i just. fundamentally disagree with those people. and find their words/actions incredibly performative. by which i mean, the way they treat real people—people from the communities they’re adopting as HCs for their beloved characters. there’s this…hypocrisy, yeah? what i mentioned above, about how if i wrote some culturally different practice, i’d probably be attacked. they don’t want desi potter, they want white-lite potters that is palatable to & tailored for their own constitution but in a form that they can pass of as ‘oh look, my characters r diverse which makes me Morally Good and i can use that to shit on others’.

i think my problem is just that i don’t like it when people use the identity headcanons to portray themselves as being inherently better because they have ~equal representation. fandom is not a government institution—lateral visibility & membership is not a prerequisite to wanting to write about x and y fucking or going on a date or hugging or having a conversation. making a marauder group where each character—functionally an OC—is from a different community (often w/o considering how intersectionality works) for the sake of saying ‘oh i have a x in my HCs’ does not make u some radical leftist, yeah? and i strongly dislike people who pretend it does.

#also jfp-eyes pen skshdjhskcwdj #see i’m more open ab this now bc i’ve outed myself lol #earlier i was worried i’d fell on myself in the process of expressing my opinions so i just stayed quiet #this doesn’t apply to everyone obv #some people don’t want it to be that deep #(but then my question is why even incorporate it if u don’t lol) #this isn’t a black or white/yes or no thing #there’s no wrong or right way for things here #it’s just personal discomfort i was expressing tbh #this wasn’t easy for me to articulate #bc i’m not exactly sure what it is about this whole thing that bothers me sm #i think it’s also just—american audiences in general that irl me #irk* #esp w all this shipping/fictional likes discourse that keeps going on #bc they’re really very self centred imo #and it’s weird watching this for the outside #lol dani u really got me ranting here #but it’s an issue that bothers me sm #esp that puritan young adult/teen crowd #who somehow believe they know best #and intersectionality—identities are such rigid boxes for them #the fluidity & agency & human element of it is completely erased #bc *what* they are becomes more imp than what they can do for the plot #and then u start putting fictional characters on a pedestal and fight w real people #like i just wanna say—my litmus test for anyone advocating for desi potters would be this #if i wrote a story where fleamont hits him with his footwear and james jokes about it before going on to marry his first cousin #then will u accept it? #bc if u say u do then good. if u don’t tho—take a long hard inside urself re why u fight so hard for desi potters then #pen’s asks #pen’s notes

[rosenallies]

“helping the other into their pajamas” for alternate breakup au??? 🥺

So many requests with this lil prompt <3 y’all all wanna be dressed by someone which is kinda cute to me <3 also I miss this au </3 being depressing on main <3 and also I’m sorry I posted 3 prompts today <3

Tw/for mental hospital and brief mention of sh scars

——

Rosé tapped his foot impatiently, nerves and excitement bundled in his chest, along with a bouquet of Denali’s favorite flowers.

Denali was supposed to be out 10 minutes ago, but Rosé learned that hospital time moved slower. It had taken them hours to get him upstairs when he was first admitted and now he was being discharged and Rosé wished he could fast forward to when Denali was safe in his arms again. He’d come to visit him every single day he was admitted but they were hardly allowed to touch as much as they liked; if Rosé had it his way, Denali would’ve stayed in his lap the entire visit.

He waited another 15 minutes before he heard footsteps coming down the hallway and he looked up and made eye contact with Denali, who’s face spread into a delighted smile.

“You came,” Denali breathed into Rosé’s chest when he got to him.

“Of course I did,” Rosé chuckled wetly, hardly even realizing he was crying, “I fucking missed you.”

“I missed you too so much, even though we’ve seen each other every day since I came here.”

“It wasn’t the same,” Rosé replied, pulling away to get a good look at Denali. He looked more like himself and it made Rosé’s chest warm with pride. He got some color and fullness in his cheeks and his eyes seemed less sad and scared. Though, he looked exhausted.

Rosé helped him with the last little bit of discharge paperwork and they were sent on their way, hand in hand the whole way home.

When they were finally home, Rosé let Denali have a moment with Donut who whined and cried more excitedly than either of them had ever heard her as he sat on the floor and played with her while Rosé threw Denali’s clothes into the wash, hoping to get the sterile hospital smell out of the clothes.

When Rosé returned, Denali stood back up and attached himself to him, holding tightly onto him and tucking his head under his chin. “I missed you so much.”

Rosé ran his hands down Denali’s back, rubbing it soothingly. “I missed you too, baby. You know,” he said, cooking up a scheme in his head to get Denali to sleep since he knew Denali would want to bask in his presence while awake, but they had plenty of time for that. Right now, Denali looked exhausted, he’d been complaining for weeks how uncomfortable the beds were there and how cold it was, “I had a really hard time sleeping without you. Would you mind if we showered and then took a nap together? Does that sound okay? I’m exhausted.”

A look of relief crossed over Denali’s face and Rosé knew he made the right choice. “Of course. Do you want to shower together or-?”

“I was going to leave that up to you, baby, we can shower together if you’d like or separately.”

Denali took a deep breath. “Maybe we try together?”

Rosé kissed his temple. “Of course, baby, and if it’s too much I’ll go after you, okay?”

Agreeing, Denali let himself be led upstairs to the master bathroom. He whispered to himself like a mantra that he could do this, that Rosé loved him no matter what his body looked like but the only thing that genuinely calmed him was the way Rosé looked at him, so much love and adoration in his eyes.

“I can do this,” he said louder, letting Rosé hear and see him as he slipped off his hoodie and sweatpants, leaving him bare and vulnerable. He fought the urge to cover himself; the scars that littered his thighs and arms and his stomach in particular. But he took another deep breath and thought about how this was Rosé, who loved him no matter what, who’d quite literally seen him at his very worst.

When Denali calmed his breathing and re-opened his eyes, Rosé was naked as well and he kept his eyes trained on his partner’s face, not the things on his body that caused him pain and turmoil. He stepped closer to Denali, silently asking if he could touch him.

“Yeah,” Denali breathed, letting himself fall into the bliss of getting a proper kiss for the first time in weeks.

“You’re so beautiful,” Rosé whispered, keeping their foreheads pressed together for a moment, “shall we?”

Nerves dissipated, Denali followed Rosé into the warm spray, letting it relax his body and mind. “Thank you for this, Rosie,” he sighed blissfully.

They took turns washing one another, Rosé taking extra care to be tender and loving with Denali until the water ran cold and Rosé shrieked like a little girl, making Denali laugh hysterically. As much as Rosé hated when the water began to run icy, he got to see Denali’s dimples again as he laughed and that alone was worth it.

Once they were out and dry, Rosé let Denali pick out pjs for the both of them to wear. Even though it was only April, he chose their matching Christmas pjs that they’d worn every Christmas for the last two years.

“These are comfy,” he said sheepishly as he handed them off to Rosé.

“They are,” Rosé smiled, “can I help you put on yours?”

Biting his lip, Denali agreed, watching closely as Rosé helped him step into the soft pants, pulling them up his legs and then doing the same with the top.

“Now you have to let me help you.”

Denali did the same as Rosé, sighing contently when he was finished and they were both dressed, warm and comfortable.

“To bed now, my love?”

Fighting back a yawn, Denali nodded, curling up beside Rosé underneath their comforter.

“Rosie, can I ask you something?”

“Of course, baby, are you okay? Do you need anything?”

Smiling to himself, Denali found Rosé’s hand and laced their fingers together. “I’m more okay than I have been in a long time. I know there’s still a lot of work I have to do but for the first time I actually feel like it’s possible.”

Hearing Denali say that was absolutely everything to Rosé, so much so that it brought tears to his eyes again. “I’m so fucking proud of you, sweetheart. Now what was it that you wanted to ask?”

A flush gracing his cheeks, Denali spoke quietly. “Can you sing? I missed hearing you sing all the time.”

“And here I thought you’d enjoy the break from it,” Rosé laughed before turning soft, “of course I will, though. Any requests?”

“Nope, I just wanna hear you.”

“Got it,” Rosé said as he began to sing, a gentle love song that he’d sang to him many times before. It was comforting to the both of them.

Denali laid in the crook of Rosé’s arm, growing sleepy as the other man sang softly to him.

“I love you so much, Rosie,” he mumbled before sleep pulled him under.

“I love you too, baby,” Rosé replied, letting himself rest and relax more than he had in weeks.

#projecting what I wish would’ve happened to me when I got out of the psych ward the other day lmao #they were like who’s picking u up …bitch me..I drove here 😭🫶🏻😌 #I was only there one night tho so like why were they so pressed about me driving home by myself #like if ur worried about me driving into a wall why did u let me go in the first place hmm #but now they want me in some intensive program or a partial hospitalization #I Am Tired of being mentally ill fr #anyway <3 #alt breakup au #prompt request

[samarecharm]

Head swimming w pegoryu thoughts; no way to put them down without poking and prodding from outside sources 😭

#i am specifically thinking of like #palace au stuff #and more specifically the 2-3 weeks ryuji is keeping akira company during the summer #thinking about like #character stuffs #bc its both me being teehee boy time #but also like #me making excuses to flesh out my akira some more #like i think he would he a very touchy bf #very kitty. he is always very close to his friends and likes to lean on them but he is also like doubly so w wuji #other things #i think akira is below average cook; never really cared about What got shoved down his gullet as long as it was food #and ryuji is so mortified #hes not even a good cook himself but his mom taught him enough to know that akira eats like a dog 😭 #so ryuji gets into the habit of cooking for both of them and something in akiras brain is sending alarms #alarm is the wrong word i think. maybe signals is better #its like akira is so attentive to the world around him and the thieves #and so when his brain is like ‘ryuji (ur crush) willingly came here to keep u company- #-cares about u alot. has said his place is by you always. and is now cooking for you bc he says he worries about u’ #and his brain has like a singular word in bold plastered at the front of his minds eye that says ‘ DOMESTIC’ #anyway he is like ‘i cant NOT kiss him and keep him with me forever’ #ryuji will also notice that akira is so much more lax now #hes not wound up tight at all. and its like. back then they didnt even Notice he was wound up like a coiled spring at all times #but seeing akira Now is like good lord its like seeing a completely different person #he is still like. sad. incredibly sad. but its bearable. and less stressful. and also ryuji is here cooking him curry and stews :) #this has led to the worst rabbit hole imaginable #where i am thinking of domestic shit for these two #waugh

[filmcel]

genuinely feel so lost in life. i fucking hate my job. i don’t want to be in school but i have to or my fucking parents r gonna kill me. i think going to school will make me more suicidal because that’s how i felt in highschool i just can’t fucking do that shit. i don’t even wanna hear about no “college is actually wayyy better than highschool” FALSE. idc if the work is easy. having work at all is genuinely gonna fucking kill me. my school anxiety was almost entirely bc i couldn’t fucking work. i turned in everything so late and had so much shit excused because i had a nice teacher. if i go to college without even wanting to be there i’ll fucking shoot myself like BRUUUHH. going to school literally only means i’ll have to email all my teachers every week that my assignments won’t b turned in on time because i’m suicidal

#so fucking stupid i hate this life #literally fucking over it #captain’s log #gonna be forced to train the new employees again because my fucking GM is a bitch and doesn’t wanna pay me more for it #fuck him like ur so lucky i do everything i should bc i wanna help out my coworkers. #gay as fuck bruh get me out of here #UGHHHHH #and only barely finally got a second fucking work shirt so i don’t have to worry about smelling at work anymore… so embarrassing #but like. I genuinely am suicidal. #not in a way where like. u need to worry about me. #but i’m like WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO. #i need a fucking LIFE. #work is evil. school would theoretically b fine if i had a brain that worked #gonna have to suffer thru it all i guess to make my parents not b more disappointed in me #also forgot to mention my parents hate me now 😍. #they’re waiting for a time to ‘have a talk with me’ because of my failure life. #i love it here so much 😍. #it’s so dumb cuz no one can tell me how to fix my lifeZ #simply is ‘deal w the bullshit’ #dumber ppl than me have gone to college and succeeded but i just don’t have any drive #and it doesn’t help to be CLOSETED .

[fabcreature]

right at the beginning of music school is actually a fantastic time to think "really when was the last time making music or working with music made me happy?"

#don't worry about me this is just my bi-weekly crisis regarding school and my future and my entire identity haha yea i'm fine i'm cool #i'm frustrated bc i haven't actually made progress with music in so long and i haven't made anything i'm proud of for even longer #i'm studying music technology but i don't know shit about it and really i'm not that passionate about it either #there are so many projects that i have in the works that i actually do have to finish bc they're for other people but i just #can't get myself to work on it #my entire life i've been so fucking bad with comparing myself to others #and going to music school i am now surrounded by talented people left and right and i feel so fucking inferior #and i'm one of those people who never studied in school and well that's not rly an issue bc at this school u don't study the traditional way #however what this also means about me is that nothing has ever been difficult for me before and #i simply don't know how to cope with not knowing how to do something #i mean this isn't the first time that i don't know how to do something but #this is the first time that i can't just run away from it and ignore it #and i feel like i'm never gonna be able to graduate from here #i've literally had just two days of school so far and i'm convinced i can't do it #to be fair i was already convinced i'm a failure and a fraud before i started so #also during the first introduction lecture to the school. burnout got mentioned. very. very. very many times. #i'll let you guys know when it gets to me haha #i'm feeling good i'm feeling so good i'm feeling fine [crying my eyes out] #eg posts

[toastsnaffler]

every time i experience attraction im like wow guess im attracted to ppl on a person by person basis bc there is no possible connection I can make between any of these ppl! and a couple months later I'll realise ohhh. I have a TYPE type.

#this artist on insta ive been a little parasocially obsessed with for the last idk four or five years posted new pics #I was like wow theyre so cool + hot.....then I realised actually theyre kinda like this other person im into. in both appearance + manner #dont get me wrong everyones unique theyre very different ppl.. but theres def some overlap in the specific things im drawn to #its interesting w my ex as well bc I found them attractive for a whole bunch of reasons + some of them still stand up #but when u know someone that well u also become very aware of things u find UNattractive and thats carried over too #like those patterns are just clearer now idk. much to think abt #posting these thoughts here bc it's too embarrassing to bring up with ppl irl.. + if they ask me to give examples theyll- #VERY quickly figure me out 💀 I'd rather they find out on my own terms + only if/once I know for sure whether she's interested or not 🙄 #I'm not playing games with a margin of uncertainty that wide I've got bigger things to worry abt sorry #.diaries #anywayyy good morning!! hope everyones having a chill chewsday

[litt1e-prince]

living in my own home away from my dad but he still waits up for me to get home

#i was panicking cause 'whos up at 2am. who can i call at 2am- no one will pick up the pho-- my dad. his phone is ALWAYS on loud.' #it rings twice and im like 'shit dad im so sorry to call you and wake you' and hes just there like 'oh dont worry. i was waiting for you.' #turns out: my mum was suppose to message me to tell me to call my dad when i got off the coach to walk home! she must've forgot tho #cause i was initially just gonna walk home ez - it wasnt until the guy cat called me and started following me again that i thought #nOPE NOT THE NIGHT NOT THE VICTIM I GOTTA CALL SOMEONE OR SMTH #so i thought i might have woken him but nope he was already waiting on me - kinda had a moment of !!!!!! #my dad miiight have grown to become my hero or smth pfshhh anyway #ALSO U KNOW I DID THAT THING AGAIN. random stranger starts talking loudly and i looked at him - u give them a glance and they take it ALL. #gotta learn to stop doing that for my own fuckin safety jfc. BUT I MADE IT HOME SAFE ANYWAY SO #me and my dad just talked about our days and mid way he was like 'are you okay? you sound like youre shivering? is it cold or-' #'OH YEA im just cold. its freezing.' 'Ha! trust me there is nothing better than being in the freezing cold and then getting into bed. #best feeling... i know you have your own life now but its good to make sure you get home safe.' #ITS LIKE ONE OF THOSE LIKE. ARHGHGH my dad loves me fuck the rest of yall- #this is for all those people who say i have daddy issues cause i make a father figure out of every character i like- #ur correct but- #ANYWAY SOmetimes forget my dad has unmedicated anxiety. my mans out here fighting for him life on a random saturday cause his kid #didnt get home until 2am. then he wakes up at 6am to help my brother - My guy doing It All. #my art #ted talk

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#hhhhh 🫠 gotta love when instead of doing literally anything im stuck anxiously vibrating for hours #like if u just did things. things would get done! thats how this works! wtf r u doing??? #2 manuscripts that r supposed to be done now and 2 applications left to complete #my mum thinks i should let my boss kno thst my brain is collapsing in on itself and like yea i prob should bc i should apologize for being #all weird and disorganized. my brain feels so weird. like it takes so so much processing power for me to remember wtf i was doing and what #i have to do next but like if i tell her it wont really change anything bc its like i have to meet these deadlines either way #also i have to b careful bc i dont wanna say yea i got horrifically burned out taking measurements but like im sure itll be fine that i #have to go back to taking measurements in January. like no prob. weve only been building up to it all year #and i kno if i say im burned out she'll be like u gotta relax more! i told u to relax so we wouldnt b here! #and then i have to be like no u dont fucking understand that i cant relax. i never relax. my life is a series of tasks and thinking abt #tasks and worrying forever. if u tell me to relax i will agony spiral for hours not relaxing and not being productive 🙃 #i just need my brain to allow me to focus long enough to get these fucking manuscripts done #but no my brain is like if u wanna do thing u gotta find the perfect audio but also i cant focus as well with audio but also i cant even #find the right thing to listen to anyway. and my brain is like u need one device playing media and 1 playing music #and like no stop. just fucking focus and stop falling apart #time time time not enough and far too much #its so weird bc i think im pretty level headed and self aware despite how my brain is sometimes. but it keeps doing this thing where #like everything gets so distorted and im like jesus its a good thing otherwise pretty grounded #blah tomorrow well see whst comes outta my mouth when i tslk to my boss #ugh im so tired whyyyyyyyyy #i cant even make proper time to draw #unrelated

[jrueships]

hm.

#imma need kpj to stop callin jalen twin 😭 with all respect kpj hangin with jalen is like 051mellys brother hangin with jrueholiday #i know bro been popped n theres a million other more chiraq menaces but still 😭 stay away from them #kpj just gives off wonked out vibes is all 😭 looks like he goes to the store n yells at the cabbages #his obsession with jalen is kinda funny tho i think he has a crush #and i think josh thinks that too bcs jalen had to post a babypic of them together to remind gup he still loves him #n theyre still friends as they always were 😭 #u kno just givin gup the reminder he needs that hes still thinkin abt him #... holdin down the fort at his crib. while green does the same...... in italy or paris or wherever the hell he is now #surrounded by fun and fashion and bad bitches (jaren) and Not sitting alone in his house wearing everything but nowhere to go #IDK WHY BUT I GET A LIL PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE VIBES FROM THAT GUP TWEET LMAO.. #the smiley face with an extra mouth... the 'thanks 4 shinin a light on me' the i coulda been havin fun with fashion but im HERE.. WORKING #theres already a ton of comments praisin gup for his grind and criticizing jalen for not having any #even tho hes not doin summer league i think so he doesnt have a month to worry abt😭 but the comparisons were MADE #im guessin gup got tired from all that holdin it down at home.. #the dog is chewing on the walls now #every rep matters :)) #ok gup... just tell us you regret not joining jalen on his fashion week trip #constant nights staying wide awake on his racecar bed wanting to gup teleport next to jalen n join in on all his adventures #which include talking to other people #who are not him (gup).. perhaps the most unsettling thought #very funny 2 me.. very inch resting... the holdin it down pic was like from 3 days ago i jus posted it now cus i had time #but still very inch resting.. very funny... jalen just reposting an old post n pic of them to his story 😭 #hes tired of it n he should be 😭😭 #you know how they should solve this complication of clinginess and communication? KISSING #why argue when kiss optional ? this isnt some the walkin dead tough decision. why are lips not making acquaintances with lips rn?? #so disappointing 🥱 #gup #green #tfw when he wont let you use your powers to teleport in his lap whenever hes .2 miles away from you because it's 'weird' 🙄 #and he wants 'a little space'🙄🙄 what is space without gup if not hell itself ?!?!?

[bagels-withcreamcheese]

long time no post I don’t even have time to vent anymore I’m just . So busy. Like chaos absolute chaos the past few weeks I’m stressed out my freaking marbles. And then they got our boy Colin yesterday !! They fucked his shit up!! Uli and I were kinda worried bc he hadn’t stopped by to check his plants u know he’s like pretty much always there at the house. and it turns out he was in the hospital like wtfffff literally the day I make him stupid gluten free banana bread he got jumped by a group of guys and they like literally beat him to a pulp and left him on the side of the road wtfffff no !!!! Not our little guy!!! he needs to start carrying something to protect himself that’s so scary like if u saw his poor face. They like fractured his skull or some shit for what. For 2 ounces. He went to high school with these guys. Like I was so shocked when uli told me like no way. Anyway we’re all furious we’re going to go out and slash their tires and key their trucks n shit. Stupid ass redneck idiots. Deserve to have their faces beaten to shit like what they did to our buddy just ugh that makes me so mad

#people are such scumbags like even if u think u know someone u don’t #there are no friends in the drug game. #anyway I’m struggling to balance my new job and also getting packed up and moved out like I have 1 week basically #I’ll be at San Japan when I’m supposed to give the keys to the landlord so ig I’ll make uli do it #Colin was supposed to help me move but I’m thinking he needs to sit this one out well be fine without him #maybe we can get josh to help #ugh just . stress #we’re going to the state fair this weekend tho so maybe I can just kinda. relax a little #just chill out for a bit #I’ve been so tightly wound for so long like I feel all the stress in my shoulders and neck like AGGHHHHH #honestly I’m not excited for state fair kinda like . bc uli’s friends are coming and Felipe is too #so that’ll be like my first time actually hanging out with Felipe which is so weird #considering he’s uli’s roommate like you think I’d interact with him more often #but I feel like he haTES me like I feel like he’s literally been avoiding me since uli and I met #plus he’s walked in on us having sex twice in the past week so now I can’t even look him in the face I’m just like 😶 #uli’s like “’yeah he’ll probably only joke abt it once or twice’ #and I’m like NOOOO HE BETTER NOT not even once please for the love of god #not in front of all his friends he better noT that’s so embarrassing #that’s so embarrassing after the second time I was like no no I cannot be in this house anymore I can’t show my face here ever again #whatever man i got bigger fish to fry here like I have other things to worry about ugh forget abt it forget about it #tess talks

[kyopmi]

i just want to rant a little EW feel free to ignore this i just needed a void to yell at <3

#for the past week especially ive been so anxiety-riddled because of a some deadlines and exams #but its like the universe hates me sm </3 (am i being dramatic? yes probably) #like my skin has been breaking out #my atopic dermatitis was flaring up #ive been losing so much sleep #like i just cannot fall asleep bcs i keep worrying if i can make the deadline or pass my exams until im absolutely exhausted at like 4-5am #and everytime im on my phone on tumblr or a game or other social media to distract myself from the anxiety i just feel guilty #for not being productive #but anyway i got some things done today and i think im a little calmer now #so i dont feel like im simultaneously numb and but also had 10 shots of caffeine at anymore #and i want to catch up on here too sobs #but it IS 3am rn bcs i accidentally took a nap at like 8pm oopsie #i think #i just need to get through the next two weeks or so preferably with all my tasks completed #idk if im less anxious or if ive just reached the acceptance stage LMAO #but anywayss hello if ure reading this!! sorry for the negativity and i hope ur day is going well!!! #u can click away and pretend u never saw this post now <33

[koushirouizumi]

{DigiAdvs B.N.M.} x H o n e y L e m o n S o d a {2.k.1.5}

{"When are you going to C O N F E S S?"} "K O K U H A K U" {"...When the T I M E is R i g h t--??...."} {"Doesnt it make getting R E J E C T E D

Being A Lot More A W K W A R D Around THEM??"}

{Cap/Crop'd by Me} {DO NOT R E P O S T} {DO NOT RE P R O D U C E} (PLEASE ASK TO USE)

#koushirouizumi advs #koushirouizumi 02 #koushirouizumi tri #koushirouizumi takehika #koushirouizumi bnm #bnm spoilers #tri takehika #(I very DELIBERATELY Left in the border on this one BECAUSE Im concern it might get grabbed through the S e a r c h later) #(PLEASE DO N O T R E P O S T THESE) #(Im planning to re do this set LATER) #(Im mainly doin it for MYSELF) #(but also bc) #(Ive been looking into post 2k15 stuff I missed and w o w These Lines Have Been COMPLETELY RE CONTEXTUALIZING A LOT FOR ME) #('THIS IS HOW {SOME???} A L L O s {+IN J.P.} VIEW RELATIONS----') #(AKA H I I AM HAVING A LOT OF {+TRI!}+{2.k.1.2} TAKE THOUGHTS AND I NEED TO YELL A LOT) #('ITS ALL MAKING SENSE NOW') #(TAKES F R E A K I N G O U T BECAUSE TAKE *IS SCARED* THAT *THEIR RELATION* 'WHATEVER IT IS' ***MIGHT END***) #({BECAUSE HIKA WAS SAYING ALL THE WORRYING THINGS HIKA WAS SAYING HERE} AND TAKE IS LIKE T H A T) #({THIS IS NOT A H E T T A K A R I SET THIS IS ME YELLING BC I AM SERIOUSLY THINKING ON A R O S P E C TAKE AGAIN NOW) #(Even in this S h o u j o the M.C. {who is VERY Aut!like too} Q U E S T I O N S the ' c o n c l u s i o n ' the others come to) #(At first M.C. is agreeing like ' I DONT WANT THIS TO C H A N G E ' THEN M.C. is like ' Wait ... DOES It Have To . . . . . ') #(At one point they FLAT OUT ASK M.C. ' Do you even know what L.O.V.E IS???? ' M.C. is like ' . . . {I Do I THINK B u t} ') #(COMING BACK TO THIS) #hls spoilers #our future spoilers #koushirouizumi no rb #(Like im sorry its been Y E A R S I am ALLOWED to comment and yell on these scenes now) #(I KNOW they got a lot of Talk back then but I always felt like it was being mis understood COMPLETELY but couldnt put my finger on) #(How to Express it and now I know W H Y) #AROSPEC TAKERU

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

i watched My Neighbor Totoro for the first time, here's my chronological viewing experience:

woo-hoo! dusty old japanese house with japanese architectural details aplenty

these kids got some ENERGY my goodness

family dynamic's adorable. peak quality dad humor

kids: our house is haunted. parents: that's so cool!

hell yeah, wrinkled old lady rep. we need more friendly old women with potato faces and warts like storybook witches. the backbone of society, these ladies

Plot Summary: Small Child Bothers Local Wildlife

sacred tree sacred tree sacred tree

Introducing Totoro! nobody said this fucker's got TEETH???

Uh-Oh! Inadequate Parental Supervision Detected

(you misplaced your four year old! you're not supposed to do that)

4-year-old: i met a magic forest spirit. dad: oh shit fr?

4-year-old: *angrily hugs sister* missed u bitch

this small child has a smile like a toad. like a really really cute toad. like the cutest toad in all existence. i love her she's perfection please just let this child be happy

rice paddies are so pretty....so back breaking....rice is such a prissy crop

*my crush is stranded in a rainstorm* takethisumbrellait'syoursnowBYE *runs away in panic im so good at flirting*

Giant Chinchilla Learns To Hold Umbrella, Is Fucking Delighted By Experience

take this, it will help you on your quest! *hands u trail mix wrapped in a leaf*

LO-FI HIP HOP STUDY LIST!

crouching down to peer at dirt--A++ top notch foundational childhood experience

mom has a big ass forehead

honey! the chinchillas are performing Rituals in the backyard again

help yeah let's jack and the bean stalk this shit

huh so we're all just climbing aboard the giant chinchilla's tiddies now ok

class trip!

the pure adrenaline of Vegetable Gardening

no! the small child is crying! she is bawling her eyes out. no no no. i can't cope with this. emotionally i cannot cope 🥺🥺🥺

i've only had Mei one hour but if anything happens to her i will raze this earth and everyone on it

please someone make this small child smile again

oh no the tall child is crying too

i can't take this. my heart can't take this.

i need a drink

small child running determined to deliver magic veggies to the hospital. this kid is my hero

she is also unsupervised. so, so unsupervised

babe you are FOUR

godDAMMIT ghibli, you cannot give me watercolor sunsets while a small child is missing. u are killing me. my heart is giving out. this is me, experiencing heart failure.

Totoro to the rescue!

no wait CATBUS to the rescue!

i admit i initially thought the cat was a creep. alice in wonderland prejudiced me. i have revised my notions of smiling cats

i've decided the cat is a metaphor for the magic of a robust public transport system

MEI'S OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and so is mom. she's a lovely lady im sorry for what i said about her forehead. it's a noble forehead.

happy ending YES bitch!!!!!!

ok. ok ok ok. that was magical.

(as a first-time adult viewer i was worried i wouldn't be able to Access the Magic. but i could and i did and it was incredible. that was culture. that was ART. joy distilled into animated form. holy rites of childhood. i understand now. how glorious, this world we grow out of. how full of marvels. i'm going outside to smell grass and sun and get dirt under my fingernails. miraculous.)

#mr ghibli please you cannot do this to my heart #totoro #my neighbor totoro #spoilers #? #initially i misspelled Totoro as Tortoro throughout the entire post #i fixed it but dear heavens i was tempted to leave it in. you're WELCOME

[ohdeerfully]

alastor request HAI can it be based on the fact that alastor doesn't sleep, and it's his lover finding out that petting his ears during cuddling makes him fall asleep.

thank you for your service

yess i love sleepy alastor thank u so much anon :D!!

Goodmorning, Love

Alastor x Reader (fluff) TW: none! join my discord! ═══ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ══════════ ◈ ═══

You were well aware of the Radio Demon’s sleep habits. Or, well, lack of sleep habits. You often spent nights in his room, where he would sit with you in bed until you fell asleep and go do whatever the hell he gets up to late at night. You always woke up in an empty room, and often so in the middle of the night, struggling to rest again as a greedy tightness gripped your chest in worry and disappointment.

You understood, though, and tried your best not to let it get to you that you didn’t have his warm body next to you when you woke every morning. But you couldn’t help that twinge of sadness. You weren’t particularly needy or clingy, but would it kill him to stay in bed with you for a single night? And to have a slice of domestic bliss as you woke up?

Obviously. 

You roll your eyes as you lay, staring up at the ceiling. You had just gotten ready for bed, and now waited for said demon to join you for a few hours. Your fingers tapped, impatient, against your chest as you hummed absentmindedly.

“How lovely,” You heard him speak. Tickles of that radio static that always followed him clung to your exposed skin, which was signal enough that he had entered the room had he not announced himself. “What a siren you are, luring me here with that hum of yours.”

You smiled slightly at his comment, scooching over slightly to encourage him over. He obliged, joining you under the covers. He still wore his usual outfit, which made sense considering his tendency to go away all night. You purse your lips at the thought, slightly chewing on the skin.

“Why the face?” Of course he noticed your expression. He always noticed when any emotion tickled your face. You appreciated the genuine tone in his voice, the typical buzz of radio barely detectable in his words. He always got a little softer and kinder when he was alone with you like this.

You appreciated nights with him, being able to see a side of him that nobody else would live to spread word of. You enjoyed feeling a little special, especially to somebody like him.

“Do you think you could stay in,” You asked cautiously, fiddling with your hands as you inched closer to him, pressing your body against his. Even laying, he still seemed much taller than you. You gingerly guided his head down, against your chest as you spoke, hoping the multitasking would keep him from sitting up and rejecting your intimate gestures. “Just for a night. I miss you all night long.”

He allowed his head to lay against you. He did feel tense, of course, letting the back of his head be exposed in this manner as he lay vulnerable on you. It was a strange feeling, but not one he cared to consider for too long. 

“(Y/N),” He began with a sigh. “It’s impossible for me to get much done during the day, what with all the running around Charlie does. Somebody has to keep an eye on that young princess. I prefer to stay awake to get my own errands done at night.” 

I know that, you wanted to say and interrupt his explanatory ramble. You wanted to beg him to understand, just this once. You held in a sigh, watching as his head gently rose and fell with every breath you took. Maybe you should just take this submission from him as good enough.

You gingerly began tangling your fingers through his red hair, brushing out any kinks he may have gotten throughout the day. His tense body seemed to ease slightly, becoming more and more relaxed as you weaved your fingers through the locks.

“You have really soft hair, Al,” You commented, changing the subject. You figured there was no use convincing him. You let your fingers lightly trail upwards, up to his ears. You grazed them slightly with a finger. You touched again. When he made no motion of dislike, you fully began rubbing them. Petting him. You smiled to yourself at the idea of petting the feared Radio Demon. “And your ears are even softer.”

“I try to take care of myself,” He responded proudly. There was another hint of something in his voice, but you couldn’t quite place what it was. But it seemed heavy. “A well groomed man is a successful one.” You absentmindedly agreed as you stroked the velvety fur of his ears, switching back and forth between them and his hair. You had a preference for the ears, though.

You sighed and began humming quietly again. He rarely got so�� comfortable, even around you. He always had some sort of guard up, always had his shoulders squared. He almost never became so… loose and vulnerable.

You noticed the clippings of radio frequency had stopped, which was a noise that was ever present in his wake. You had a suspicion why it disappeared, a small grin forming on your face.

Yes, the Radio Demon never slept. But that was a choice he made, not a curse that prevented him. Even demons get tired. You don’t know how Alastor makes it day by day without a wink of rest, but it was apparent that exhaustion had built up in him. He just needed to relax for a second.

You graced your fingers over his fringe, and craned your neck in a way to get a glance at his face. Yeah, you were right. 

He laid there, eyes shut, features relaxed with the lightest grin playing on his face. Even in sleep, you complained. It didn’t really matter. What mattered was the sound of his deep, slow breathing and occasional twitch of his velvety ears. You briefly wondered what the Radio Demon would dream about.

Would he be aggravated with you when he woke up, realizing you had practically cast a sleep spell on him? You didn’t, but the rate of which exhaustion took over may as well have been some sort of magic.

You shut your own heavy eyes, exhaling lightly as you continued to comfort yourself with the texture of his fur and hair. It didn’t take long for you to fall asleep.

You craned your arms and neck as consciousness came back to you, but an unfamiliar weight kept you from getting that good stretch in. Momentarily confused, you blinked open and looked down.

Red and black hair, more of a mess than usual, still took place on your torso. This was a first, and your chest felt like exploding with the glee of seeing Alastor still resting with you. He somehow looked even more relaxed than the night before, his cheek flush against your stomach, squishing his lips up slightly. A light grin was still there.

You gently brushed your fingers over his face, trailing a line around his features with an index finger. His eyes squeezed for a moment, and that static ambience of his slowly, quietly, returned. It was a noise that you had learned to find comfort in. He slowly opened his red eyes, a confused and sleepy daze clouding them. There was a wrinkle in his brow as he roughly propped himself up with an elbow, looking up at you with a furrowed expression.

“(Y/N)..?” He trailed, pausing to take in a shuddering morning yawn through a confused smirk. “Did I… Dear, what time is it?”

You looked at him tenderly. Oh, how cute he was, sleepy like this. Composed like an exhausted kid. Something even you have never seen before.

“Yeah,” You responded to his unspoken question. “It’s probably seven a.m. or so. I dunno.” There wasn’t a clock in your immediate line of sight.” “A.m. …” He said slowly. He sat up fully, looking down in disappointment at his wrinkled day wear. He quickly blinked the sleep from his eyes and managed to bring some composure to himself, but that lick of exhaustion was still prominent. Especially under his eyes.

“Yeah,” You said again, a light chuckle following. “Goodmorning, Al.”

He wasn’t obviously upset, it seemed. Though he probably was too tired to think about it too much yet. Maybe later.

“Well… Goodmorning, love.” He responded, still with a hint of confusion in his voice. “I suppose I accepted your plea from last night.” He brushed at his clothes while he spoke, trying to flatten out the creases that were brought on through a night of rest.

“Maybe more often?” You asked, twiddling your thumbs in anticipation. You already knew the answer, but it was okay. You knew how to keep him in now. You mischievously smirked as he closed his eyes and shook his head.

“Unlikely.”

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