for femslash feb.... more farcielle....... perhaps...
idk what they're doing but 🫂👩❤️💋👩
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first time meeting neighbor nanami kento in the elevator. both reaching to press the button for the 5th floor. your movements freezing as your hands touch in the air. an awkward “sorry” coming from both sides. “let me”, he presses the button. “thanks”, you put your hand back on your bag handle, slightly bowing your head, hoping it’s enough to hide your flushed cheeks.
you glance at his reflection on the elevator door. he’s looking at you. “new around?”, he asks, voice quiet and monotone. “yes”, you reply, “just recently moved”
“it’s a quiet neighborhood, hope it’s to your liking”
you nod with a barely audible “mhm”.
the elevator stops. the doors open. “please”, he takes a small step back, “after you” — inviting you to go first both with words and body.
“thanks”, you say as you step out but “what a man” you think in your head, your heartbeat slightly speeding up — you might just be tiny bit charmed by this blond man.
“well”, you stop in front of your apartment door, “it was nice meetin—”, you fail to finish as he stops in front of the next door and looks at you, “oh?” — it’s barely noticeable but his eyes slightly widen — “we’re next-door neighbors” — and then quickly go back to normal.
“seems so”, you confirm with a smile.
each encounter with him in the apartment building would lead to slower walks down the corridor and more dragged-out conversations in front of your doorsteps, on purpose — just so you can steal a little bit more time together here and there, neither of you aware of the mutual crushing nor brave enough to invite the other in — it might seem too pushy and inappropriate — you both would think.
your eyes would search for each other every day going in and out of the building. sometimes you’d find him waiting in front of the elevator, even though the hall indicator would show it’s already on the 1st floor. and other times it’s you who’d do the waiting.
after a while you both become well aware of each other’s schedules and thus the “accidental” hallway meetings become a stable part of your day.
but when you don’t see him around this evening you find it a bit unusual. maybe he got held back at work, you think.
he didn’t.
he’s waiting. leaning against the wall next to your apartment door, with a bottle of red wine and two glasses — he’s waiting. for you.
and little did you know — you would leave together the next morning.
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Lonely river spirit Scar who gently pushes any mending books away from Grian’s fishing pole because he wants him to keep coming back. If the visitor catches one he’ll leave, and it’s been so long since Scar had company
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midnights is literally like . i am SURROUNDED BY FIRE i am the one who LIT THE MATCH i am UNABLE TO ESCAPE MY OWN TURMOIL i am the one who PUT ME THERE i also REFUSE TO LEAVE IT i have SELF-COMPASSION i have SO MUCH HATE FOR MYSELF I CAN BARELY BREATHE i am MY OWN WORST ENEMY i am ALSO THE BEST FRIEND I HAVE EVER HAD i am THE ONLY PERSON I CAN’T HIDE FROM i keep RUNNING TO GET AWAY FROM MYSELF but ALL PATHS LEAD BACK TO ME and i will NEVER be able to LIVE WITH IT
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I’m more than happy to treat/categorise alcohol as a drug, but whenever I talk about addiction I have to explicitly say “drugs, including alcohol” or “alcohol and other drugs” because most people don’t implicitly include it + language is about communication etc. but lord. I feel like the line that is drawn between “alcohol” and “drug” does not help the “addiction hierarchy” situation
anyway this is my regular reminder to my fellow alcoholics that we are in fact drug addicts and we are not fundamentally any better than any other addict just because our substance is legal and slightly more normalised. this is also my regular reminder to people without substance abuse disorders that alcohol being a drug does not justify treating alcoholics like shit, because all addicts are human beings and you should treat us as such. peace and love
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