#KIND OF?? They were posted on the official accounts but in case

[skyplayssplatoon3]

"How very curious..."

I adore Cipher's design!! Very cool glowy shrimp!

#Splatoon #Splatoon 3 #Side Order #Cipher #Fan Art #Nintendo #For those who know my OCs I actually have one named 'Cypher' so it was rly funny seeing the reveal /dies #Spoilers #KIND OF?? They were posted on the official accounts but in case #ArtBySky

[agaypsychicrat]

You can save Russian queers from genocide

A week ago the Russian Supreme Court made a ruling declaring LGBT community an extremist organization. The precise contents of the ruling, as well as the process, were made secret, so there’s no official information on what is being banned, but if we take into account previous cases of Russia using this tactic (Like with Navalny’s Anti-Corruption Foundation), any kind of support, from saying things on the internet to financial support, or dissemination of information about LGBT is banned. It also basically criminalizes queer people’s existence. The sentences are up to 12 years in prison - harsher than for murder.

This has already led to majority of Russian LGBT organizations dissolving and evacuating or going into crisis mode and cutting offline support. A number of previously friendly endocrinologists have stopped working with trans people for self-preservation, even if they already changed the documents - a situation especially dangerous for trans masculine people, as while trans women can get HRT without a prescription or from gray market, testosterone is a heavily regulated substance. The entire support system is headed for collapse, it’s hard to predict what will happen when prosecutions begin. It’s important to notice that conversion therapy is legal in Russia, and the Russian Ministry of Internal Affairs has a database of transpeople who have changed their documents.

In light of this, a German queer organization Quarteera has launched a petition which will have to be considered by German government if it reaches 50 k signatures, regarding easing the asylum process for Russian LGBT people, particularly issuing humanitarian visas and residence permits not just for activists. While everything is in German, anyone from around the world can sign the petition, not only German citizens. The petition is here - http://quarteera.de/petition

Here’s the instruction in English: https://imgur.com/a/Fgi9yIh

Update the petition expired a few days ago so im not sure if you can still vote

I copied the post from r/196 https://www.reddit.com/r/196/s/qcersiwxh1

#important psa #russia #politics #quarteera

[under-lore]

About "Tweets aren't canon"

One misconception that one seems to be nearly guaranteed to see brought up by someone whenever discussing Undertale/Deltarune lore with people who are not particularly invested in it is that "Toby Fox said tweets weren't canon".

And, when you first hear it, it actually sounds quite convincing, because this tweet is in fact real and does seem to say that.

So... What's actually going on here with tweets and with this one in particular ?

The actual status of tweets

Before mentioning what's really going on with that specific tweet, i'd like to lay some groundwork first.

For instance, regarding the fact that this tweet dates back from November 2016. And that if the tweet were to be taken seriously, it would mean that no tweets especially after that date are to be treated as canon.

Something that is rather explicitely not the case.

There are several examples for this, although the Gaster tweets which introduced us to Deltarune and directly link up to the game's "Goner Maker" introduction sequence are i would say prime offenders.

Here in these tweets, we are not yet connected, then we are given a way to connect.

Then, we pick this back up where we left it in Deltarune, where we are then asked wether the connection was a success.

This has of course been pointed out to Toby (although he never responded to those messages), and yet it did not prevent him from re-doing the exact same thing a few years later for chapter 2.

In short, the situation is that, to this day, Toby Fox still purposely uses tweets in order to provide important canon-accurate information about his games, with the Spamton Q&A as recently as last year.

In light of that, using that one tweet to say that any information coming from tweets is invalid just can't be right... So one might wonder :

But then, why did Toby say that ?

The problem comes from the fact that this quote is usually cropped like this when people try to share it around :

Which is greatly misleading !

Obviously, Toby Fox's popularity comes mainly from Undertale and later Deltarune. Due to this, and due to the majority of the fandom nowadays being teenagers, many in the fandom are not aware that ever since his own teenage years, Toby Fox has been for the lack of a better term, a massive shitposter. A habit that only started to die out after Undertale's release and in the year that followed. (Though he still shows glimpses of it from time to time)

I mean, we are talking about the person who kept on posting memes on twitter for nearly a decade and who made "a goast poot on u" at the end of the Earthbound Halloween Hack, his first semi-serious game project.

Why ?

Because he's just that kind of "funny guy" and felt like it. His words, not mine.

This was, up until not so long ago, the kind of person that Toby was online.

When taking all this into account and looking back at the un-cropped version of that quote, it becomes pretty obvious what's going on here.

Toby Fox found a bootleg nursery rhyme video of Undertale characters, found that hilarious (As the "funny guy" that he is), and decided to make a shitpost about it. Joking about how this weird thing that he found, right here, was the peak of official Undertale material and might just be more canon in his book than the kickstarter or tweets were.

The post that started this whole thing in the first place was just that, a shitpost, a joke, not something that Toby ever actually meant. Which honestly should have been pretty obvious in the first place, i mean, this is still a post about Toby trolling bootleg nursery rhymes, people. It wasn't meant to be taken seriously...

Besides, that tweet's statement would have been self-contradictory anyways. If tweets weren't canon, then this tweet would not be canon either, etc... Leading to one of those silly paradoxical loops rather than to an actual statement about tweet canonicity.

So then, that brings the question : Why ?

Why do so many people still claim that tweets aren't canon ?

The reason is likely the same as the reason why this misconception was created in the first place : It is a rope to cling on to for some people to defend certain headcanons that Toby had debunked via tweets.

Because yes, between late 2015 and late 2016 Toby used to once in a while answer a question about the lore of the game on tweeter. Leaving some people with their headcanons turning out to be wrong.

(A few examples of headcanons that Toby denied on twitter were that Undyne killed the green soul human, or that ghost monsters used to be humans, for example.)

It was some of those people, in the first place, who started cropping this tweet to make it seem like their headcanons were still on the table and started the mess in the first place.

This rumor, at its origins, was not just a mere misconception but rather a deliberate attempt at misinformation from some fans that weren't happy with the way Toby had taken the game, which is unfortunately still being shared around to this day due to how sensible it seems at first sight.

#toby fox #undertale #deltarune #twitter #undertale theory #deltarune theory

[cupofmiko]

LOVELY TO BE HERE (WITH YOU) - midoriya izuku x f!reader 

with midoriya izuku, some things have always been easy. other things, however, have not.

genre: a strangers to lovers to exes to lovers au, pro hero au | angst, fluff

warnings: aged up characters (you and Izuku go through your 20s during this fic), a right person wrong time fic, hurt/comfort, happy ending, Izuku is taller than you, insecurity, talks of a boss/employee relationship (nothing happens during that time), making out, some smut (fem!recieving oral, mating press, slight dom!Izuku?? some dumbification… not actually sure I’m just putting it in the warning just in case, use of “pretty girl” and “good girl”), mentions of an outside natural disaster, arguments, you and Izuku gets a little Mean during the argument, Bakugou and Kirishima are your Helpful Friends and Good Bosses, some recreational alcohol consumption at a party

word count: 22k 

a/n: vaguely inspired by that tiktok trend with the “ceilings” by lizzy mcalpine audio… if you know you know. this is so behind the trend lol it ended up so much longer than i thought it would be so a lot of this hasn’t been thoroughly read through i am sorry lol 

.

You are twenty-two years old when you get the email - an offer letter that confirms your acceptance for an entry level office assistant position at Deku’s agency. And for someone like you who is in the final year of university and has been looking for a job to get a head start on your career, this is a very exciting opportunity. 

Not only is it a foot in the door for the hero industry, a very popular and competitive industry for any young college student, but it is with Deku. The hero from UA, the one who has been destined for the top since he was a teenager. 

According to the hiring manager, Deku is officially returning back to Japan after spending his first few years post-UA abroad in different countries. Different contract work with hero agencies worldwide. But now, with several years of experience under his belt, Deku has decided to return back home and start up his own agency. 

It’s intended to start as a small agency, the hiring manager had explained to you, a small but multi-talented team who can take on different responsibilities. And you, young and enthusiastic, played up your retail experience and the tutoring jobs you took on during those earlier college years. 

Clearly, you talked yourself up well because now you stand in front of Deku’s agency - a moderately sized building whose simplicity is reflected in the warm earth tones inside. Something in your gut tells you that this is the first page of a brand new chapter. 

The beginning of your first day is slow and typical of any first day experience. You remeet the hiring manager who introduces you to your boss and your responsibilities, which will mainly involve managing the front desk and answering the phone and making appointments for Deku. It is a little overwhelming, but you mask that incoming anxiety with a determination to do well. 

Your afternoon is spent filling out information for email accounts, taxes, and pay. The phone rings a few times, and your boss lets you know what to do based on the different phone calls. For a top hero agency, it’s surprisingly normal. 

So normal, that you almost forget who you’re working for until he walks through the front door of the agency. 

You look up and immediately feel your breath catch in your throat because holy fuck, it’s Deku walking towards you. It’s very strange to see the boy you’ve only watched through a laptop screen stand opposite of you. He’s much taller than you thought. His suit is more detailed, his hair more fluffy, his muscles more defined in person. It’s strange, seeing someone the same age as you hold so much power and confidence in a single stance. But his gaze is open, kind, and curious when he looks at you. 

“Hi there!” he greets cheerfully, approaching your desk. “You must be the new office assistant! I heard you were starting today - welcome!! It’s nice to meet you!! Are you adjusting well?” 

You blink, feeling like your brain is lagging behind to process the fact that pro hero Deku is even talking to you. Then, you realize that he has asked you a question. You close your mouth (one that you hadn’t even realized you opened) and try to string together a sentence. “O-oh, thank you! And I’m doing well… thank you, Deku.” You test out the hero name. It sounds so strange saying it out loud. 

Deku laughs, a shy almost unexpected sound that makes something flutter in your chest. “I’m glad to hear that! And call me Midoriya. I’m glad to have you on the team!” His eyes flicker down, taking in the new lanyard you’ve received - it was part of your welcome package that is meant to hold your employee ID. “I can see you’ve already decorated your lanyard! I like your pin.”

Now you’re surprised for a multitude of reasons. Not only did he speak words to you, he’s actually continuing that conversation by noticing something you never expected a boss to notice. And he’s being sweet, warm, and welcoming. 

You look down at your lanyard, bewildered as if you’ve never been a lanyard before, and see the pin you’ve haphazardly attached to the fabric. Glimmering on the metal is a character from your favorite movie - Howl from Howl’s Moving Castle. “Oh, t-thank you!” you manage, feeling warm, partly with embarrassment of having to explain a private interest, and partly because Deku actually looks genuinely curious in what you’re talking about. “He’s from this movie I really like. Howl’s Moving Castle?” 

Deku ponders for a second. “Oh! Studio Ghibli right? I’ve never seen that one, but my friends introduced me to Spirited Away and I really enjoyed that one!” 

“That’s a good one too,” you reply, losing enough nerves to actually feel your lips curve up into a small smile. Deku traces the movement quickly with his eyes. “That one and Howl’s Moving Castle are probably some of my favorites.” 

He nods approvingly. “I’ll have to ask my friend to show that one to me someday.” He gets distracted momentarily by his phone, picking it up and frowning. “Ah, sorry, I have a meeting to get to,” he explains, putting the phone back down. “But it was really nice meeting you.” 

Your smile grows a little, your head bowing a little to see him off. “It was nice meeting you too. Midoriya.” 

He mirrors your smile, likely proud that you’re calling him Midoriya, before he walks towards the main office floor. 

The phone rings before your gaze can linger for too long. 

. 

A full month goes by before you accept it. You have a crush on pro hero Deku. 

To be fair, it’s hard not to have a crush on Midoriya. He’s just so open and sweet, thoughtful and considerate - a little shy, but reassuring enough to make you feel safe with just one smile. 

Honestly? It’s a little infuriating. After all, Midoriya is… well, he’s pro hero Deku!! He’ll help old grandmothers cross the street and save a truck from falling off a bridge and then tackle a villain the size of a building all within the same day. He carries so much greatness, so much power, yet so many expectations on just one pair of shoulders. You see it on the news, in the meetings you have to schedule for him. Everyone wants a piece of him. 

It’s harder now since he’s just starting up as a pro hero in Japan. There are things he must do, cases he must solve, and people he needs to save in order to climb that ladder and establish himself. 

But still, despite himself, he stops by your desk every day. Either at the beginning of your shift or towards the end. He’s always had a busy day - you can tell as much because you help manage some of his appointments. Yet he never shows his exhaustion. He comes by, same bright smile, always asking about your day and chipping away at your apprehension. 

It gets to the point where you’re comfortable enough finally sharing some interests with Deku rather than brush it off every time he tries to ask. You talk about the movies you like, the music you listen to, the dinner you cooked last night. Deku (Midoriya, you remind yourself time and time again) is always attentive. 

So, again, how could you not have a crush on Midoriya? 

And, to be fair, he doesn’t do much to quell that crush or fan the growing flames of affection you have for him. When he finds out that you really like that boba place thirty minutes away from the office, he starts bringing you a cup once a week. You try not to overthink the fact that he knows your exact boba order- down to the percentage of sugar you prefer. Or when he finds out you really like that Thai restaurant around the corner and starts bringing you your favorite when he knows you forgot to pack a lunch. 

It’s sweet. Midoriya is sweet, dangerously so. Considering you often only see him drop off food and drinks for you, it makes you wonder if… perhaps, he feels the same way. 

But a small, reasonable voice in your mind reminds you of a very important consideration: Deku was your boss. More than that, he was your boss’ boss. The big boss, if you will. There’s no way he could feel the same way, just from a moral standpoint. And even if you weren’t overthinking anything - a boss dating his employee? The scandals just write themselves. 

It’s another two months before you learn to leave your feelings on the backburner and write it off as nothing more than a puppy dog crush. Lots of people probably have a crush on Midoriya, you think bitterly, it doesn’t make you special and it definitely doesn’t warrant a crush back. 

Besides, you continue to think, Midoriya could have anyone he wanted in the country. In the world. There’s no way he’d settle with a measly secretary. He’s just doing these things because he’s a genuinely nice person - and it’s just convenient for him to make sure you’re eating proper meals and drinking proper (as proper as boba can be you suppose) drinks. 

It is officially four months that you’ve been working for Deku’s agency when you stay late for the first time. You’ve started taking on more responsibilities that take the form of helping organize paperwork and writing up data analytical reports for Deku and his small group of sidekicks. 

On the one hand, more work is great because it means your boss trusts you enough to handle important tasks. But on the other hand, it is stressful. Your perfectionist tendencies are not lost on you as you spend some extra time ensuring that a report is thoroughly. That means that by the time you are done, it is considerably later than your normal departure time. 

Your boss and other colleagues must have left during your autopilot drive to get everything done because the office is mostly empty by the time your brain catches up to the outside world. The exceptions are the janitor taking out the trash and the night shift sidekicks who are either getting ready for a nighttime patrol or are currently sitting at their desks. They say their goodbyes as you pack up to leave for the night, coat on and everything, before you head towards the building entrance. 

Only to find that it is pouring rain outside. 

You stop short, taking in the rain pittering and pattering onto the sidewalk and the roar of rainfall filling your ears. Normally, you don’t mind rain. But the fall is too heavy to walk through unscathed - a fate that looks inevitable for you considering you forgot your umbrella. 

You’re in the middle of wringing your hands together, debating whether or not you should just go for it, before you feel the agency doors open behind you. Then, a familiar voice calling your name. 

It’s Midoriya, looking bewildered at the sight of you. “What are you still doing here?” 

You blink back, equally as surprised. Last you had checked, Midoriya should have been long gone by now. “What are you doing here?” you quip back. 

“Well, I, uh, had to approve some of the reports my sidekicks wrote up before sending them to the police,” he explains, scratching at his hair. “But late nights are normal for me. I’ve never seen you work late before.” 

His inquisitive look leaves you warm with embarrassment. “I-I just wanted to make sure those data analytical reports were perfect before sending them for approval.” 

Midoriya ponders you for a moment, but he ends up smiling. “I appreciate you working so hard. I hope you’re planning to go home. Or at least planning to eat something.” 

You smile back sheepishly. “Guilty. I’m gonna go home- I have groceries that need to be cooked.” 

“Can I walk you to the station?” he offers, flashing his All Might umbrella towards you. 

You laugh. “Cute umbrella. And sure, that would be nice Midoriya.” 

He watches you for a moment. “Do you have an umbrella?”

“Oh!” you laugh again nervously. “No, I forgot mine at home. But it’s okay.”

Midoriya looks momentarily troubled at your predicament, but he smiles easily enough. “It’s okay! Here. We’ll share mine.” He opens up the umbrella and holds it over both of you. 

You still and immediately turn warm at the thought of sharing an umbrella with Midoriya. It seems too intimate of a situation to be in, all things considered. “O-Oh, don’t worry about me.” 

“How could I not?” he retorts, surprising you by wrapping an arm around your shoulder to bring you close. Though hesitate, your arms encircle his midriff. For the umbrella, you tell yourself, as you gaze up at Midoriya. He’s staring back down at you, gaze unreadable. 

A moment of doubt fills you. Was this too much? Self-conscious, you loosen your grip around him. But Midoriya tightens his hold, making you stop. 

“You okay?” he asks, voice soft. 

You manage to nod your head. Totally okay, more than okay. “Peachy,” you say, allowing him to lead you down the sidewalk towards the station. All the while, you do your best to ignore how romantic the gesture looks to people on the outside. 

You reach the station within a ten minute walk, all while bunched up together like any other normal couple. Midoriya insists on making sure you’re underneath a solid roof before removing the umbrella. Untangling yourself from Midoriya feels like the real world has resettled itself on your shoulders. 

So you take a breath, readjusting your backpack. “Thank you for walking me, boss.” 

He grins sheepishly. “No worries. I just have to make sure my employee gets home safe.” 

He’s trying to play along, but it feels a little like this cold wave of reality has just washed over you. You just try to manage with your best smile. “And some people have the nerve to say you’d be a terrifying boss.” 

Midoriya laughs. “You’re right. They should be saying I’m downright jolly.” 

That makes you laugh. “What are you, Santa Claus??” 

Another short round of laughter, before you pull yourself together enough to stop and look at him. He’s looking back at you, that crinkle of laughter in his eyes - which doesn’t mean anything. It means nothing at all. 

You look away first, fidgeting with the straps of your backpack. “I should go. Thanks again Midoriya.” 

You still don’t look at him as he replies. “You’re welcome,” he says. 

Without another word, you walk away. 

. 

Your ten month anniversary at Deku’s agency is around Christmas time, where the nearby shopping districts get taken over by holiday lights and festive trees of red and green. The weather gets colder, the days get shorter, and the work gets harder. Especially when most of your assignments consist of summarizing the events of the year. There are a lot of days where you are just trying to gather information. 

It’s busy enough that you almost forget about the agency holiday party, scheduled just two days before Christmas. You only remember because your marketing specialist friend (Karly) volunteers you to help with decorations. 

For The Most Wonderful Time of Year, it is rather stressful to make orders for the tree, the wreaths, the lights, and the Santa’s that are scattered throughout the office. 

The day comes fast. Two days before Christmas, Deku’s agency is filled with laughter and chatter. Per the rules of the night, everyone is dawning their ugliest Christmas sweater and are currently partaking in the borderline alarming amount of alcohol that was brought. After all, the white elephant gifts have been exchanged, the toasts have been made - all that’s left to do is drink. 

You’re no exception, as you have now found your way outside onto the balcony with a cocktail in your hand and a warmth in your cheeks. Being outside is nice considering how hot your body feels right now. You close your eyes as a nice breeze brushes against you. 

That is how Midoriya finds you. “There you are!” he exclaims, closing the sliding door behind him as he steps forward to join you. “Been looking for you.” 

You turn around to face him, eyes wide. He was… looking for you? “What for? Did you need something?” 

He stops next to you. “No, no, nothing serious. I just wanted to say you did a good job with the party.” He grins, cheeks also a little rosy from drinking. “Everyone seems to be having a good time!” 

You smile. “I’m glad. I would never have thought planning a party would be so stressful. But a part of me is glad I got to be in charge of it.” You glance at him, feeling unusually bold. It must be the alcohol. “Otherwise I would never get to see the great Deku in his Christmas sweater.” 

True to your words, Midoriya is dawning an All Might Christmas sweater - the brightest shades of blue, yellow, and red that you’ve ever seen. It’s cute. Horrifyingly so. 

Midoriya does a little pose that makes you laugh. “I mean, you could have seen this anytime. You just needed to ask.” 

The remark makes you still because was he implying he wanted to discuss his interests with you? 

The internal struggle leaves you a little winded, unsure how to respond to such a statement. “Is… is that so?” you reply softly. “B-But,” you stammer awkwardly. “I’m sure there are other people you could discuss your All Might collection with?” 

Midoriya hums softly, resuming his position next to you against the balcony. “Like who?” 

You shrug, trying to play it off casually. “I don’t know. Your girlfriend?” 

He laughs gently at that. “Who is this girlfriend you speak of? She doesn’t exist here.” 

Despite his behavior, it is a little surprising hearing that Deku doesn’t have a girlfriend. Especially considering that he looks the way he does and has literally been called Japan’s Sweetheart on numerous occasions. 

You don’t feel too nervous at being called out like this. It definitely has to be because of the alcohol. “W-Well, I just figured. Someone who looks the way you do should have no problem finding someone.” 

“Your confidence in me might be misplaced,” Midoriya returns. He turns to you. “Would you believe me if I told you that I have relationship problems too?”

“You? Having problems with women?” you joke. “Enlighten me then.” 

He takes in a small breath. “Well,” he starts shyly. “Hypothetically, there’s someone that I’m interested in. Someone who I would think is smart, funny… and pretty.” There’s a weight in his words that settles heavily on your heart. “But… the problem, scientifically speaking, is that us being together would be inappropriate. I would never want this person to think I’m taking advantage of my position to manipulate them. And even if we were able to go out, I don’t want this person to be viewed negatively. I don’t want people to think she has been doing well or that she even got a job because of my personal feelings. After all…” he gaze drops to your lips for a moment. Your stomach clenches a little. “This person is a really hard worker. And I would never want to take that away from them.” 

You wet your lips. “That does sound like a predicament, Mr. Deku.” 

He smiles, albeit a little sadly. “I suppose…” he starts. “That if this situation was real, it could definitely be seen like that.” 

You nod. “Right. Hypotheticals.” You take in a breath. “I guess you and I aren’t so different.” 

He glances at you. “Relationship problems?” 

You shrug. “Hypothetically, I could have problems.” 

Midoriya laughs, playing along. “Right. Of course.” 

“Let’s just say,” you start slowly. The alcohol buzz is starting to wear off. But you’re already neck-deep into this interaction and it’s too late to back off. “There’s this guy. He makes me laugh, looks out for me, and has never made me feel insecure. He’s patient, smart, and thoughtful - someone that I really admire, and someone I like a lot. The problem, hypothetically, would be that there’s a gap between us. Not an age gap or anything crazy but more just… the kind of gap where us dating would make him look bad. And he’s a good guy, who doesn’t deserve that kind of speculation.”

You dare to spare a glance at Midoriya for the first time since you started talking. He’s looking at you like it’s his first time seeing you - eyes wide and lips parted. But there’s some uncertainty in his eyes. Like he doesn’t want to jump to conclusions on who you’re talking about. You understand that. After all, his own situation could describe anyone. 

But he turns towards you with eyes open and vulnerable. And you are rooted to your spot, helpless to do nothing but watch him watch you. You watch as he steps closer, feel as he reaches out to grab at the bottom hem of your Christmas sweater and thumbs at the material. As if he is giving you permission to turn away. 

When you don’t, his fingers snake upwards to touch your hips. “It seems,” he breathes out softly. “We’re both a little stupid, aren’t we?” 

You exhale as his hands settle. You feel warm with something decidedly non-alcoholic. “So stupid…” You want to just close your eyes, lose yourself in Midoriya as you’ve wanted to do for the past few months. 

But. 

Your hands find him, your fingers curling around his wrist. It takes a lot of (obvious) effort to pull him away. “Wait,” you whisper. “W-We just talked about how this isn’t right. And I don’t want you getting in trouble for this.”

His eyes search yours, but he squeezes your waist once before relinquishing the grip. “You’re right,” he returns, smiling a little. “There’s a lot of alcohol at this party. Makes me do things I shouldn’t. I’m sorry.” 

You shake your head. “You don’t need to say sorry. Only if you don’t mean it and you don’t really like me.” 

His eyes have not left your face. “I do mean it. I do like you, a lot. I’m just sorry that it has to be like this. If things were different…” 

“I know,” you whisper. “But I… care about you. And I don’t want people to think you’re the kind of guy who’ll date an employee. Especially since you’re back and trying to establish yourself as a pro-hero here.” 

Midoriya laughs, but it’s not meant to be a humorous noise. He reaches out, thumbing your cheek one last time as if to commit the gesture to memory before he pulls away. “I don’t want us to pretend like this conversation never happened, but I hope that we can still be… friends.” 

Despite the unexpected turn of events (at a Christmas party of all places), you warm slightly at all how well he’s taking it. Not that you expected him to take it badly. And that, above all, he considers you a friend. “Of course,” you reply. “That’s what I want too.” 

The pair of you stare for another long moment before someone is sliding open the glass door of the agency that leads to the balcony. It’s Karly, calling out your name. 

You and Izuku look away, the moment gone. “I’m out here, Karly.” 

Said marketing specialist appears from the shadows, cheeks bright red from rose much like everyone else. But she stops short when she notices the two of you. “Oh! I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?” 

“No,” Midoriya cuts in quickly. He’s not looking at either of you. “We’ve finished our discussion.” 

Deciding to leave him alone, you nod towards Karly. “Well, some people are asking about the cake…” 

“Oh!” you exclaim. “That’s right. I know where it is.” You turn towards Deku. “Will you be okay?” 

You mean it in two different ways. Deku looks at you like he knows what you mean. “Yes, I’ll be fine.” 

You make your way back into the party, refusing to think about what happens next. 

.

What happens is a quiet next few months. Midoriya becomes busy with joint patrols, an onslaught of photoshoots, and general paperwork. He still comes by your desk when he happens to be around when you are around, but the interactions are safe and surface level. It is a warped version of what you and Midoriya would call friendly conversations. 

While you miss the deeper conversations, you’re also guilty of not bringing up anything that could bring you back to that night. The fear of uncertainty gnaws at you, afraid of what could happen if you were to cross that threshold with Midoriya. 

Like you, Midoriya is also good at maintaining that friendly facade. He thanks you for your hard work on your one-year anniversary, allowing your boss to take you out for dinner. He signs a company congratulations card when you graduate from university and officially become a working adult.

And you’re thankful that he’s willing to… move on, you suppose? Perhaps avoid is a better word. It’s hard to smile and laugh with Midoriya when you’ve spent the better part of your employment at Deku’s agency wanting more. 

Despite those things, that isn’t the reason why you’re here now. “Here” being the corner coffee shop on a random Saturday, laptop open with a whole listing of hiring hero agencies displayed. Some of the reason is that awkward limbo with Deku, yes, but most of it has to do with the desire for a full-time job. Working part-time at Deku’s agency had been more of a necessity than a want, considering you had to work around a full-time student schedule. 

But with graduation under your belt, full-time has become an option. While the hiring manager at the agency has been open to the conversation of offering you that full-time position, this feels like a rare moment of opportunity to branch out. 

Besides, you think absently, there are a lot of good agencies hiring. 

Quietly, you apply to a few of them, wondering if your experience at Deku’s agency and all the hats you had to wear as a result of working at essentially an agency start-up could impress some of these bigger agencies. 

As it turns out, it does. Because over the next month, you garner the attention of Riot Ground. Again, quietly, you interview a few times before they offer you a position - one that will include working at a cubicle rather than a front desk and definitely involves a higher level of responsibility with a higher pay that you would be dumb to reject. 

Your direct boss is supportive of the decision, understanding that this type of industry exploration is what you want for the next chapter of your career. It’s a chance, she says, you need to take. Additionally, she accepts your two week notice. 

Telling Midoriya had been something you’ve wanted to avoid since Riot Ground offered you the position. In fact, it’s very possible that he already knows what is going on. It’s no secret that the Riot Ground agency and Deku agency are close - the leading heroes have known each other since high school. 

But you decide to just assume that Midoriya doesn’t know what’s going on as you knock on Deku’s office door, taking in a breath when he tells you to come in. He’s finishing up some paperwork as you open the door, definitely looking appalled by your appearance. You hardly ever visit him, especially not since the Christmas party. 

“Hey,” he breathes, closing his laptop. “Is everything okay?” 

You smile a little, trying to stay professional. “Yes! Everything is good. I just thought I should let you know something that’s coming up.” 

He frowns, but nods slowly. “Okay,” he says, a little confused. “What’s up?” 

“Well,” you start. “As you know, since I graduated I’ve been thinking about getting into a full-time position. I don’t know any kind of end goal for myself, but I want the opportunity to grow my experience however. And wherever. So… I just thought that I should let you know that Riot Ground offered me a position. And I accepted. I start in a month, but I already submitted my two weeks.” 

Midoriya is quiet for a moment, processing the ultimate conclusion to your words. Then, he laughs a little. Softly. “Kacchan… I mean, Bakugou told me that they had just hired someone from my agency. When he spoke about the new hire’s interview, I could tell he was impressed and excited to have that kind of person on his team. I just had a feeling that it was you.” He stands up, rounding the desk to lean against the front. “I’m really happy for you.” 

You smile, relieved. Although you should have known to expect nothing less from Deku. “Thank you, Midoriya.” 

But he does smile back, sighing a little. “I will say that I’m going to miss having you around. Getting to talk to you and see you at the end of a hard day always made things easier for me.” 

Your heart picks up a little. You hadn’t expected him to use that kind of line on you. “I-I mean,” you stammer. “It’s not like I’m going off the grid. The agency is just a subway ride away. A-And, I’m still going to be in the industry. So we’ll see each other around at events and such… Besides, we’re friends.” 

Friends. A delicate word to reflect on a delicate subject. And it shows in Midoriya’s eyes, watching you carefully. His eyes look you up and down, before he gives a half-smile. It looks like he has so much to say. But he eventually settles with, “Of course. We are friends.” 

A long pause follows. The pair of you take each other in, until the sound of footsteps pass by Deku’s office and it brings you back to reality. You look away first. “I just… I thought I would let you know. As a courtesy.” 

He nods. “I-I appreciate that. And I really am happy for you. Kacchan and Kirishima are good heroes, and they are good bosses too. I expect great things will happen with you on board.” 

You laugh. “Midoriya, you are speaking way too highly of me. It’s just an entry level position, The amount of influence I’ll have is probably second to none.” 

He shrugs. “So what? I believe in my friends - and I believe in you.” After a moment he clears his throat. “When is your last day?” 

“About a week and a half from now,” you reply. 

He nods slowly. “Got it. Well, thanks for letting me know.” 

You leave work that night a little unsettled, wondering if you’ve made the right decision in telling Midoriya. 

. 

The last week and a half of your employment at Deku’s agency is quiet. Midoriya gets pulled into a job on the other side of the country, meaning he doesn’t get to see you on your last day. You tell yourself that it’s normal that a big boss wouldn’t mind one of his part-time interns leaving and try to make peace with it. 

Midoriya is right about Bakugou and Kirishima. Despite being a little rough around the edges, Bakugou is polite and engaging. Naturally, Kirishima is warm and welcoming. Ground Zero is definitely a bigger agency compared to Deku’s up and coming roots - but the two heroes still take the time to greet you. 

It isn’t long before you’re taking on your own assignments - but your team is nice and supportive and Kirishima even tells you that the recent report you handed in was good. 

Two weeks after you start working at Riot Ground, Bakugou’s Vogue Japan article gets released and you are immediately pulled last minute into the afterparty preparations that Riot Ground is holding to celebrate. You’re more of a background shadow to provide support, but you are still invited to the party. Kirishima says you can think of your attendance as a rite of passage for your employment - one that you intend to take full advantage of. 

The afterparty is hosted at the top floor of this insane skyscraper in the city center - surrounded by lights and music and drinking. You spend most of the early night with coworkers, those in the same department as you as you all talk and laugh and make sure that things are going smoothly. 

This sense of ease is probably how you’re able to notice him before he notices you. 

Your stomach drops when you see Midoriya, someone who you hadn’t seen since that last conversation in his office. He’s at the bar, talking to some girl with a surprising amount of engagement and focus that you stare. 

You cannot help the sickly feeling weighing at the pit of your stomach - because you cannot remember the last time Midoriya talked to you like that. Actually, you can. It was before the Christmas party. Before you engaged in that game of hypotheticals with him. You’ve never regretted the way the exchange went down. But you have regretted the aftermath - the halted conversations, the surface level charades. Midoriya had said he liked you back, sure, but perhaps he only did nice things for you because he wanted something? And surely once he realized he was never going to get anywhere with you - he just gave up, didn’t he? 

That’s stupid, you think to yourself, because Midoriya isn’t like that. He’s sweet and earnest. He doesn’t seem like the kind of person to just throw them aside when they are no longer of use. 

But, the other side of you whispers, things haven’t been the same since that night at the Christmas party. Perhaps it’s not out of left field for you to be doubtful. 

Across the way, Midoriya catches your eye and gives you a smile. You wave back half-heartedly. 

He tilts his head, giving you a look you hate that you can read. Is everything okay? 

You just give a shrug, turning back to your coworker before he could respond. 

You assume it’s the end of that conversation with Midoriya. In fact, the next time you (subconsciously) try looking for him, he isn’t at the bar anymore but on the dance floor with Uravity and Shouto. You disappear into an empty hallway that leads to the elevators, sipping the drink (water) you’ve gotten and try to ignore that vague feeling of relief upon realizing that girl was nowhere to be seen. 

You turn back to your water, perhaps waiting for it to drown you or give you answers to questions you are too afraid to ask. 

That is, until a figure slides up next to you. At first, you think it’s some stranger coming up to bother you. But it’s Midoriya. 

“You look lonely,” he comments. Despite the loud music coming from the main room just a few feet down, the hallway is insulated enough where you can hear him properly. 

You glance at him. “What do you mean? I’m peachy-keen.” 

He frowns, the first crack in his wall. “You know, people who say they are peachy-keen are usually the opposite of that. I just can’t help but notice that you’re here by yourself, and you’re drinking water.” 

“I’m on the clock,” you reply. 

Midoriya looks around for a moment, before turning to face you fully. “Is everything okay? Nobody’s bothering you, are they?” 

You look at him this time. “It’s fine, Midoriya.” You jerk your head out towards the main room. “Why don’t you go reunite with your girlfriend or something?” 

Midoriya blinks. “Girlfriend? What are you talking about?” 

Your eyes narrow into a glare. “Don’t try to play dumb with me, Deku. I know that you saw me looking. She’s cute. Thanks for letting me know about that, by the way.” 

“Oh, just like you told me that you were looking for a new job?” Deku bites back. Another crack in his game of pretend. He also seems annoyed you’ve addressed him by his hero name. “She’s not my girlfriend. She’s Uraraka’s manager and has been her manager since we graduated high school. We’re friends - just like I thought you and me were friends.” 

You push yourself off the wall at that. “We are friends,” you protest hotly, defensive, not even sure if you believe your own words. “It’s just…” 

“Just what?” Midoriya snaps, that friendly facade gone now. “Just the fact that I thought things would go back to normal after that night, only to get blindsided?” He runs a hand through his curls. “Listen, I was and am really happy for you that you got a great job with Kacchan and Eijiro. I just wish you told me you were planning to leave. That’s what friends do.” 

“Well, why does it matter?” you retort. “A boss shouldn’t care too much if a lowly part-time intern decides to pursue a different agency for a different opportunity - !” 

“But you weren’t just a lowly part-time intern!” he says loudly, then lowers his voice. His admittance echoes in your mind, making you run warm. Midoriya watches you carefully, as if waiting for you to dismiss him. When you don’t, he takes a step closer, rounding on you so that your back is against the hallway wall. “To me, it wasn’t like that. At first, it was. But I grew to really like you as more than just someone I saw at work everyday. I liked you a lot.”

You narrow your eyes at him, refusing to back down, remembering your doubts just a few moments prior. “Why does that matter now anyways? You clearly have more fun with that manager anyways.” 

He groans, stepping closer, hands settling on your waist to push you against the wall. “What is this about? It seems like we’re mad about two separate things.” 

You huff, trying to look away from him. “I’m not mad.” 

He rolls his eyes. “Baby, your glare could cut glass. I can be single-minded sometimes. But I’m not stupid.” 

You hate to admit it. But the pet name softens you up a bit. Enough that you turn your gaze back to Midoriya. “I was just frustrated okay?” you shoot back. “I was under the impression that we would stay friends too. But you were so distant after I told you I was leaving. You didn’t even say goodbye to me on my last day at the agency. I know you were away but… it still hurt me. And then I come to this party and see you for the first time in a month talking to some other girl. Not just talking - talking excitedly and happily. I just couldn’t help but overthink about why you enjoyed your time with her more than time with me.” 

His eyes flicker between your eyes, but he relaxes after a moment. “I always enjoy my time with you,” he explains softly. “But I’m sorry. I should have spoken up when I noticed we were playing this game of just pretending to be alright. I think the thought of confrontation made me more nervous. And I’m sorry for not being there for your last day.” 

You sigh. Perhaps hearing his apology is just what you’ve needed after all this time. “No. I’m sorry. It takes two people to have a conversation, and I was also not reaching out to communicate my frustration. I guess… perhaps, a part of me wanted to know what would happen with us. And if…” you trail off.

Midoriya raises an eyebrow. “If…” he coaxes, leaning in. When you don’t say anything, he smiles. “If I still like you?” 

You pout. “You have no tact, do you know that?” 

“I think the proper phrase is ‘relief knowing I can now openly communicate with the girl I’ve been crazy about for months’.” He pauses. “Unless you’re more of a show don’t tell kind of person?”

He’s teasing you. “I don’t know,” you finally manage, feeling warm all over. “What would showing me look like?” 

At your question, Midoriya smiles again. Less of a teasing smile, more of a soft and understanding curve that makes your heart race. Your anger is completely forgotten as one of his hands gently takes your chin. “Probably something like this…” 

He leans in. You close your eyes, heart thumping out of your chest - because was this really going to happen? Right here? Right now? And to think you were so mad at him just an hour ago… 

A call of your name. “Oi, I know you’re out here - oh. Fuck.” 

Midoriya pulls away, his grip on your chin and your waist gone as if both of you are ripped back to reality. You jolt, eyes flashing open and turning towards the source of the noise. Bakugou stands at the entrance of the hallway, lips parted and eyes wide and looking uncharacteristically startled. 

“Kacchan!” Midoriya exclaims, glancing at you before glancing back at your boss. “We were just… This wasn’t a spur of the moment thing…” 

Bakugou tsks, recovering quickly as he raises a hand up to stop Deku from spiraling into a flurry of conversation and tangents. “I didn’t ask, nerd. I just need my employee’s help with something.” 

You try to recover as well, ignoring your racing heart as you turn towards Bakugou. “O-Of course, what do you need?” 

You step away from Midoriya, but he catches your wrist in his hand before you can go too far. 

“Hey,” he says, stepping up next to you, not speaking until you’re looking at him. “Don’t be a stranger. If I promise to call, promise you’ll pick up.” 

You cannot help but just smile and nod. “Okay,” you return. “I promise.” 

He beams, and releases the hold he has on your wrist. You walk up to Bakugou, allowing him to lead you back into the loud dancefloor. 

“Bakugou!” you call out, feeling the need to fill the silence between the two of you despite the music and laughter around you. “Midoriya is nice! And I really like him!” 

Bakugou grunts, whirling around to face you. “Shut up!” he retorts. “I know. The stupid nerd hasn’t shut the fuck up about you since he found out I hired you. So I don’t think you need to worry. He likes you a lot too.” He pauses. “Now can you please help Eijiro set up the champagne fountain?” 

You grin for more than just the champagne foundation. You shoot your boss a thumbs-up before making your way back into the main party, definitely feeling better than when you first stepped in here. 

. 

True to his promise, Midoriya calls. And to your promise, you answer. It doesn’t take long for the pair of you to resume the same ease of connection that developed when you first met. Partly because you have all this history together, but also because the feelings have been put out there. The calls and texts continue without the worry of crossing past a boss/employee relationship. 

Having Midoriya in your life like this is different. There’s still a bridge to cross with him, but there’s a different openness about this compared to pretending not to be so into him. 

Now he knows how much you like him. And you’re waiting for him to take the next steps. 

But, again, it’s a line neither of you cross for the next few months. Midoriya is busy with work, and so are you. Ground Zero keeps you on your toes with increased responsibilities and solo projects that are stressful yet accomplishing. Yet, every “good job” thrown your way feels like a different badge of honor that heightens your confidence. It feels like some of the things you’ve wanted for your life (a stable career with responsibilities you enjoy doing and coworkers you actually like spending time with) are starting to come together. 

Although yes, you are in a predicament with Deku, you refuse to let that damper your attitude about your overall life trajectory. Things will happen when they are able to happen. 

It’s a thought that comforts you. For the next few months following the Riot Ground party, you maintain a limbo with Midoriya. Until there is a pounding on your door at three in the morning. 

You start awake at the noise echoing through your apartment, heart pounding and eyes suddenly alert. What time is it? The digital BT21 Koya clock on your nightstand reads 3:02 AM. Who is it? No idea. A handful of college students live in this apartment building, so it isn’t unusual to hear knocks at this hour. They’re usually short; this one is not. 

The persistence of it drags you out of bed and towards the door. Is it the smartest way to go about this situation? No. It could be a villain with super hearing, waiting for you to make a noise!! Or perhaps people pretending to be maintenance just so they can break in? 

God, you definitely need to stop scrolling through Tiktok. 

You sigh, tiptoeing to the peephole on your door. You’re expecting drunk college kids, or people you’re supposed to ignore. 

What you see, however, is neither of those things. It’s Deku, slumped against the wall, looking uncharacteristically tired and out-of-breath. Brows furrowing and eyes widening, you open the door with more force than necessary. “Midoriya!” you exclaim, lowering your voice towards the tail-end when you remember that it is three in the morning. “A-Are you okay? What happened?” 

Midoriya looks over at you. His face is bruised slightly and you don’t even want to know what kind of injuries he’s hiding underneath the suit. What happened? When he texted you earlier than evening, he looked and sounded perfectly fine. His eyes rake over you from head to toe, before he sighs. “Oh good. You’re okay.” 

You stare, trying to mentally decipher his words but find that you have no idea what he’s talking about. “Why wouldn’t I be okay?” 

He closes his eyes, taking in a deep breath before he pushes himself off the doorframe. Quietly, he leans into your space and slowly cups your face with his hands. Midoriya follows the curve of your face carefully, committing each detail to memory.

Clearly approaching the situation normally isn’t getting into his head. He’s too shaken by what he has seen. So you stare up at him, trying to catch his gaze. “Izuku…?” you try. 

That catches his attention. He shifts to look back at you. He sighs, pressing his forehead against yours. “It’s okay. I’m okay. It’s just…” 

“Do you want to come inside?” you offer gently. 

Midoriya nods, allowing you to pull him inside the apartment. You make it to the living room, where he drops himself unceremoniously onto your couch. Despite his disheveled appearance, he is watching you carefully and looking more alert than before. 

You look back at him, continuing to assess his condition. What happened to him? Did he need to see a doctor? You try to echo one of those thoughts. “Are you okay, Midoriya?” 

He blinks. “I liked it…” he starts. 

You move to sit on the couch. “You liked it?” 

“You called me Izuku,” he clarifies. “I want you to keep calling me that.” 

You sigh, eyes slanting into more of a frown than the wide-eyed concern from before. “Are you drunk?” 

He looks away, rubbing at his face. “No, I’m not.” 

“Well, do I have to drive you to the hospital?” 

“No, I’m fine.” 

“I’d have to disagree. A Midoriya… I mean Izuku,” you correct when Midoriya gives you a look. “An Izuku who is normal wouldn’t come barging in at three in the morning looking like he’s just seen hell.” 

He doesn’t say anything to that, which worries you more. Well, if he doesn’t want to go to the hospital and he’s not drunk, you turn to the next best solution. 

You move to get off of the couch. “Let me get you some water.” 

“Wait.” His hand catches your wrist. He’s not even pulling you that hard, but his touch leaves you rooted to the spot. “J-Just stay here, if that’s okay.” 

You settle back on the couch, trying to catch his eye. Yours widen slightly when you realize that his eyes are glassy. Was Midoriya crying? “Hey, Izuku…” you start, sitting closer to him. “What’s wrong?” 

He looks up for a moment, before looking back over at you. “Can I…” he trails off. “Can I just…” When you don’t flinch away, he takes that as a sign. He wraps his arms around your waist, scooping you up and plopping him on his lap with your knees on either side of him. Straddling him, you let him manhandle you. You let him press you to him, chest to chest, and a hand at the back of your head to press your face into his neck. He noses at your hairline slowly. 

“Izuku,” you whisper, voice muffled into his suit. “Tell me what happened.” 

Midoriya takes in one more deep breath, before he loosens his grip enough for you to pull back and see his face. “I was finishing up my patrol when a group of villains ambushed me. That part was normal, since it’s the middle of the night and maybe they thought they could get away with it? Everything was fine until I saw you. One of the villains used his quirk and made me see something that really shook me up.” 

Considering that he’s here, hugging you like he’s trying to merge with you, you think you have a vague idea of what he could have seen. But you refuse to be self-centered. You gently fiddle with the hair at the back of his neck. “What did you see?” 

He doesn’t look at you as his fingers run over the hem of your sleeping shirt. “You showed up, and they took you away. No matter how far I ran, I couldn’t catch up. I couldn’t save you. Luckily, some of my sidekicks showed up so they didn’t get away. But I couldn’t stop thinking about what they had shown me. I just had to make sure you were okay.” 

You exhale, not realizing you had held your breath during Midoriya’s story. At the very least, this explains his frantic behavior. “It’s okay,” you whisper. “I’m here.” 

He sighs, moving his hands to your waist. “It’s not okay though,” he returns, looking at you. “I think not being able to talk things out with you has freaked me out, thinking that I’ll miss my chance and lose you.” 

“You won’t lose me,” you say quietly. “I really like you.” You relax slightly in his arms. “We don’t have to talk about us right now but I don’t want you to rush into anything with me. I know that you’re here to protect people and you’re trying to establish yourself. I don’t want to get in the way of that. I don’t want you to spread yourself too thin.” You look down, suddenly nervous. “When this becomes something, I’m going to be a little selfish. I don’t want to feel like I’m coming in second place. I want everything that you’ll give me, and I want to feel like you’re always going to choose me. I know that in itself is selfish, but I just want to be upfront with you.”

One of Midoriya’s hands comes up to cup your cheek. He angles himself to meet your gaze. “Don’t ever call yourself selfish like it’s a bad thing. I want you to be selfish because I always want you to myself.” He starts mindlessly stroking your cheek with his thumb. “I want to be honest with you too. I can’t promise you that I can respond to texts within the hour. I can’t even promise that I’ll be on time for every date. But I’ll always consider you. And I’ll always choose to come back to you.” 

Overcome with helpless affection for him, you cannot help looking down at his lips. Suddenly, you’re aware of what you’re wearing and what you’re not wearing. Your sleeping attire is just a Riot Ground t-shirt you got from a team-building event during orientation and some loose shorts. Your lack of a bra is the most obvious. 

Judging from Midoriya’s darkened eyes, he knows this.

A pause. Then he brings you down to him, kissing you softly. Time seems to melt away as you shut your eyes and allow yourself to get lost in him. You can feel Midoriya’s grip tighten, pulling you closer as little uncontrollable whimpers fall from your lips.

Without warning, you feel yourself get hoisted up again. One hand around your waist, one hand hooked around a leg as you are maneuvered onto your back. Above you, Midoriya is steady and comforting and warm. He stares down at you like it is his first time seeing you. The sight sends jolts of anticipation through your body. 

On instinct, your arms find the back of his neck as he leans down to peck your lips once, twice, thrice more before starting a trail of butterfly kisses down your neck. He stops at the base, nipping and biting. It tickles, causing little giggles to escape you as you twitch occasionally at the overwhelming sensation. 

Midoriya hums, lifting himself back up. “So sensitive,” he mutters. 

You pout, tighten your grip on the back of his suit. “Is that okay?” 

He smiles, leaning back down to touch your nose with his. “More than okay. It’s perfect. You’re perfect. Want to keep going?” 

You cannot help but smile back, heart beating helplessly in your chest. “Yes,” you whisper, nervous but knowing that you trust him more than anything. 

So Midoriya kisses you again, his hands move to your waist to inch your shirt up higher and higher. He kisses down your stomach, fingers gripping the waistband of your shorts. “Is this okay?” he asks softly. 

You nod, realizing after a moment that he cannot see you. “Yes, yes, please Izuku…” 

You stare up at the ceiling as he pulls your bottoms down, exposing you to the air outside. It doesn’t stay unoccupied for long before he’s diving in between your legs, licking and sucking at spots that make you see stars. 

And when he curls up with you later that night under the blankets, refusing to let you go as you giggle and complain about needing the restroom, your heart is high with hope. Hope that perhaps it’s finally time for you and Midoriya. That perhaps, the game is finally over. 

.

The following day, Midoriya shows up to the Riot Ground agency. He had left early that morning, leaving behind a text apologizing and promising to make it up to you later that day. You hadn’t been entirely sure what making it up to you would entail, but you just told him you were looking forward to it. 

It’s a little bit before your lunch break when Bakugou comes stalking towards your cubicle. You’re still on the phone with the guys at HEROES MAGAZINE when he approaches, but he’s surprisingly patient as he waits for the call to end. 

You hang up after a few more minutes of last minute confirmations. “Everything okay?” you ask, redirecting your attention to Bakugou. 

He grunts, crossing his hands over his chest. “You have a visitor. Real insistent about seeing you.” 

You tilt your head. “Who is it?” 

He sighs, unfolding his arms. “Come on.” 

Nervously, you follow Bakugou into his office. Inside, you find Midoriya sitting on the couch. He’s talking to Kirishimia, but all the attention shifts to you as soon as you enter. Midoriya’s face lights up. “Hey!” he greets cheerfully, standing up to approach you. 

You let him, unable to help but smile back as the memories of last night fill you with warmth. The fact that those events were real and tangible still baffles you. “Hi, Izuku…” 

He scratches the back of his neck. “I really am sorry about having to leave after… yeah. After that.” 

You laugh, forgetting that both of you have company. “It’s fine. I know you’re busy. You’re here. That’s what’s important to me.” 

Midoriya smiles, actually looking relieved at your reassurance. “I’m glad…” 

From what sounds like miles away, Bakugou interrupts with a laugh. “Oh my fucking god.” 

You turn to look at him. “Something wrong boss?”

Bakugou is still smirking. He looks between you and Midoriya like he knows something you do not. He, however, makes it clear with his observation. “You guys finally hooked up, didn’t you?”

Immediately, your heart feels like it’s racing on overdrive as your entire body runs hot. “H-How did you… I mean, it’s just… I don’t…” 

Midoriya’s cheeks turn pink. “Kacchan, we’re in a workplace - can’t you keep things professional?” 

“Professional?” Bakugou echoes, smirking. “You have a lot of nerve saying that to me, Deku. Especially when the two of you are all googly-eyed right in front of my salad!!!” 

“Oi, Katsuki,” Kirishima interrupts, getting up from the couch and walking over to slap a hand on Bakugou’s shoulder. “I think it’s cute. Go easy on them.” Kirishima shifts his attention to you and Midoriya. “So, what’s this? You guys just hooking up? Or boyfriend and girlfriend? No shame either way!! I think it’s great that we live in a society where every stage and every kind of relationship has an appropriate label.” 

The overall question makes you want the ground to swallow you whole. This is especially the case because you and Midoriya haven’t even discussed what this is yet. What if you answered and it wasn’t the answer Midoriya had in mind. Or would staying silent be the better option? Should you already know what kind of relationship you’re in with Midoriya? You know you talked things out yesterday but was making an assumption going too far?

Your silence makes Kirishima smile. “I mean, there’s also no shame in being undecided. As long as you guys are communicating.” 

Midoriya wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you close. “I’m actually here to invite you to dinner tonight,” he says, pointedly ignoring his friends and their teasing smiles. 

You smile nervously, unsure whether or not to go along with Midoriya. You decide for it eventually. “Sure. I get off around 5. Can I meet you someplace?”

He shakes his head, looking at you with stars in his eyes. “No, no, I’ll come pick you up.” 

True to his promise, Midoriya is in the lobby of Riot Ground. He gives you that same bright smile, takes your hand. The restaurant he’s selected for the two of you is a few stops away, and he fills any silence with questions about your day and conversations like this is any normal day. Not at all like you’re about to go on (what you would consider to be) a date with Midoriya. 

It’s a sentiment you feel confident enough to echo once the pair of you are seated next to each other in the booth. You notice quickly that he’s taken you to a ramen shop you’ve mentioned enjoying once or twice. The realization draws out a happy, private smile. 

At your observation of this date, he mirrors your grin. “I’m glad we’re on the same page about this. It makes me feel less nervous about telling you that… last night?” He asks like he needs to make sure you know what he’s referring to. Like you need a reminder. But you nod, because Midoriya seems nervous. “That was all real to me. I know dating me would be challenging. But I really like you and I want to be with you. I hope that doesn’t freak you out.” 

Detecting his nerves regarding the subject, you reach out to take his hand. “Izuku, it doesn’t freak me out. I also mean what I said yesterday. I really like you.” You feel yourself go warm with meekness. “Although, I thought it was obvious that I wouldn’t freak out no matter what you said. You did spend the night, amongst other things… I don’t do that with guys I don’t like.” 

Midoriya laughs softly. “I just didn’t want to make any assumptions.” 

You nod. “Well, cease your worries. I am thoroughly into you.” 

Since you’re not rejecting his advances, Midoriya grows bolder. “So… can I do this…?” He laces your fingers together. 

You smile. “Yes,” you whisper, looking over at him. 

He moves closer, still wearing that fond grin. “And when I drop by the agency, can I tell Kacchan that I’m visiting my girlfriend?” 

Your smile morphs into a grin, but there are butterflies in your stomach. “You should probably be a little more professional around your Kacchan.” 

He pouts at that. “What if it’s for something important?” 

You gap slightly, unconsciously inching closer to him. “What could be so important with you and your new girlfriend that you need to visit her workplace?” 

He smiles at the question, eyes flickering down to your mouth before he leans in to kiss you. It’s firm and quick, startling you enough to elicit a squeak from the back of your throat. But he pulls away before you can relish in the gesture. 

When you open your eyes, Midoriya is still looking at you. You can feel the weight of his answer in his stare, making one very firm decision: you were going to suck his dick on the car ride home. 

.

Nearly one year later, the hero rankings are announced on a bright sunny afternoon. 

You are in your now shared apartment when the broadcast starts. When Midoriya is announced as the new number one hero. It’s a big moment within the hero community; not entirely unexpected considering the anticipation of Deku’s return and what he has been able to accomplish since then. It’s a moment that garners big cheers as Midoriya takes the stage alongside the other top ten heroes. 

You watch as each top ten hero makes a speech about their appreciation and their promise to continue protecting the country. As Midoriya makes his own speech, your heart feels light with pride and joy. 

It’s a feeling that continues into the late afternoon, when you’re fitting the bed with newly washed sheets that you hear the front door open and slam shut. “Baby?” It’s Midoriya. “Baby, I’m home!!!” 

You immediately come bounding out of the bedroom, dashing towards the entrance where Midoriya is slipping off his shoes. “Welcome back!! Congratulations on your ranking, Izuku!” 

At once, he sweeps you up into a hug, bringing your feet off the floor and your laughter in his ear. “Thank you,” he whispers earnestly, setting you back on the floor. He kisses your cheeks, spoiling you as if you were the one who has just ranked as the number one hero in the country. “Did you watch the broadcast?” 

“Of course!” you say, giving him a look. “It’s a big deal, Izuku.” 

He pulls back enough to send you one of his soft smiles. “Thank you.” 

You shake your head, cupping his cheeks. “How do you want to celebrate, Mr. Number One?” 

“Well, Uraraka is hosting a party later today to celebrate the new rankings. But…” he trails off, turning meek. He leans forward, nose to nose. “Kind of want to eat you out. Is that okay?” 

Your stomach flutters. His hands move up your shirt, touching at bare skin. “W-We should do something for you.” 

“You letting me eat you out is the something for me,” Midoriya returns, removing his hands to start messing with your shorts. He pulls both shorts and panties down, lowering himself down to let you step out of them. He lifts you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he traverses down the hall back into your shared bedroom. Gracefully, Midoriya lowers you amongst the pillows. 

One, two, three more kisses along your forehead, cheek and lips, before Midoriya makes his way down your body. Lifting your shirt over your head, planting two kisses on each nipple, down your stomach, immediately wrapping his arms around your legs to keep them apart. A kiss on your clit melts into a lick that makes you choke on a whimper. 

Midoriya has always been good at eating you out. Ever since that first night, he is keen on prodding at the spots that drive you to the edge the quickest, or dragging things out as long as he wants to. It’s that scary observational skills from his line of work getting put to personal use. 

And you’re not complaining. 

In the fifteen minutes he spends in between your legs, you come three times. You’re shaking, gasping, overwhelmed by the time he lifts his head up with his lips shiny with juice. 

You’re still trying to catch your breath as Midoriya undoes his belt, takes out his cock. He runs it over your slit once before pushing in past the ring of muscle. The sensation makes you jolt, crying out as you arch and push at his chest. “Izuku… wait.” Your walls flutter, causing Midoriya to sputter. “I just need to catch my breath.” 

You take a few deep breaths as Midoriya thumbs at your hip in apology. “Sorry baby, I should have asked first.” 

You shake your head. “No, it’s fine. Sorry.” 

“You don’t need to apologize.” Midoriya leans down, kissing your ear and down your neck, nipping gently at your collarbone.The gesture, while ticklish, helps relax you enough to reflect on the events of the day. You’re not sure how long it is before you speak again. 

“Hey, so since you’re the number one hero now…” you start once you feel like your head has cleared up enough. “You’re probably going to be a whole lot busier. Lots more people are going to be looking at you and relying on you. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted…” 

Saying the words out loud makes a new kind of reality dawn on you. How would you fit in this equation of Midoriya’s newest accomplishment? 

“Hey.” Midoriya’s voice draws you back. His head lifts from your neck, locking you in an intense stare, hands planted on either side of you. “I don’t know what exactly is going on in that head of yours. Just because I’m the number one hero now doesn’t mean that I still don’t care about you. It doesn’t mean that I’m suddenly going to stop considering you. I’m number one to the country, but you’re number one to me and that’s what is important.” 

You pause, letting his words sink in. You giggle. “Izuku, that was super cheesy.” 

“And what of it?” he purrs, using your giggle as the okay to readjust you. He takes your ankles, repositioning them over his shoulders. He leans in, bringing your legs to your chest, sinking deeper into you. The sensation makes you whine, arching your back and curling your toes. 

“Mmmm,” you whimper, unable to do anything else but lay there and take it. 

“Do you understand now?” he asks, pulling out until the tip and thrusting back in. “Do you understand how much I love you?” 

As if it wasn’t hard enough answering his question, he’s hitting something in you that makes it difficult to think. “Fffuck, Izuku… yes…” 

“Then, you think you can say it back to me, pretty girl?” He straightens up, keeping one of your legs on his shoulder as he increases his pace. His grip on you is strong, while his other hand starts drawing tight circles on your clit. 

You start fluttering around his cock, unable to move away from the simulation. So you try to push at his chest in warning. “Izuku… wait…” 

“I don’t know if I can, baby,” he says, almost disappointedly. “I can’t let my girl walk around not knowing how much I care about her.” 

“I do know…” you whimper, shaking when he finds the right angle to rub your clit. “Aaaaaa… I know how much you love me.” 

You can hear the smile in his voice. “Good girl. Wanna say it back?” 

He releases your other leg so that both fall on either side of his waist. Midoriya looms over you again, never once letting up his pace. “Say…” you manage, tongue feeling like jello. “Say what back?” 

He hums. Still circling your clit, he runs his other hand up over your curves, palming your breast. “Say you love me back.” 

“I love you - !” you squeal as he pinches a nipple. The coil in your stomach snaps, and white hot pleasure runs through your body. You shudder, tightening and fluttering and gasping. You weakly whimper as Midoriya continues to drive into you, your breasts bouncing with the movement. It stops when he gives you one last firm thrust, letting out a groan of his own that is so hot your walls flutter at the noise. 

The high of what you’ve started together starts to die down as the silence is filled with your gasps and his panting. 

Midoriya drops himself next to you, immediately wrapping his arms around you and nosing your hairline. “Hey,” he whispers. 

“Hmmm?” you hum, content and still trying to catch your breath. 

He doesn’t speak until you look at him. He leans in, touching his nose to yours. “I love you too.” 

You try hard to bite back a grin. “Still want to go to Uraraka’s party?” you ask quietly. 

He groans against your neck. “Not really.” 

You giggle. “You should!” you scold. “It’ll be fun. You’re the number one hero now. Don’t you want to celebrate with your friends?” 

“I’d rather just celebrate with you,” he says, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

You roll your eyes playfully. “We just did. C’mon!” You push yourself off of bed, whirling around to face him. “I’m gonna pee. We’re going to shower, and then go.” 

Never able to say no to you, Midoriya sits up on the bed and climbs out after you. “Okay, okay, baby. We’ll go.” Without warning, he hooks his arms under your knee and under your back, lifting you up and carrying you to the shower - the sound of your giggles filling the air. 

The party is in full swing by the time you and Midoriya arrive at Uraraka’s house. Midoriya still has that post sex glow in his cheeks. It makes him clingy to you as you enter. The man at your side is immediately greeted by everyone, both friends and fans. It makes it easy for you to peel yourself away from your boyfriend, finding shelter in the living room. 

There, you find Bakugou at the couch, nursing a drink in his hands. 

Finding comfort in the sight of a familiar face, you approach him. “Bakugou! I didn’t think you’d show up.” 

He gives you a sideways glance. “I wasn’t,” he says. “Eijirou said I should, so people can see that I’m supportive of Deku taking over the number one spot. Like I give a shit what people think anyways.” 

You take a seat next to him. “I think you care a little bit. I know how much having that number one spot meant to you. Buuuutt,” you say, trying to lighten the mood a bit. “I think it could be seen as good, friendly competition. What do you think? Gonna start working double shifts to get your spot back?” you ask teasingly, grinning playfully at Bakugou. The latter is surprisingly quiet. 

Bakugou gives you a grin that doesn’t reach his eyes. “I knew it was only a matter of time,” he gruffs. “I really do hope as his girlfriend, you’ll never have to see this. But Deku? That nerd is crazy. Back in high school, during the war, he became this self-sacrificing maniac and acted out on his own. It’s a version of him I haven’t seen since then, but it’s a trait that never really went away. Deku lives to give back,” he mutters, so quiet that you wonder if you’re meant to hear him or not. “That’s why people gravitate towards him. It’s hard to compete with someone who would so willingly trade his happiness for others without hesitation.” 

Bakugou’s eyes find something. You turn, following his stare to see Midoriya chatting it up with other pro-heroes. The latter looks bashful, but proud - he blends right into this world you are only just now starting to adjust to. 

I hope you’ll never have to see it.

You watch as Midoriya’s gaze finds yours, waving when he smiles at you, trying not to ponder too deeply into Bakugou’s words.

.

Despite your wishes, you spend some time thinking about Bakugou’s observation. It’s true. Midoriya is a giver. He gives and gives and gives, hardly ever taking anything in return. He rarely asks to take time off, asks you to take care of him, and rarely ever thinks about himself. 

A year after Midoriya becomes the number one hero, you start to see what Bakugou had meant. 

It starts small. So subtle that you don’t even notice it at the time. It happens on a random Thursday night, when Midoriya stops kissing you hello after coming back from the office. It’s something you don’t even notice at the time. You had just continued cooking dinner, oblivious to what that simple missing gesture would spiral into. 

Then, he misses a lunch date. Texts about his whereabouts and any villain appearances on the news are non-existent, until you find out that he just got caught up on paperwork and simply lost track of time. He apologizes later that evening, promising to make it up to you. And he does. He brought flowers home the next day and took you out to dinner. So you forget about the incident, assuming that it was a one-time thing. 

Only, it isn’t just a one-time thing. He misses a few more dates, and doesn’t even tell you he’s coming home late one evening, before you decide it’s time to prod. Gently though, because you aren’t a confrontational person. 

It happens late one night, because Midoriya stops taking days off, when both of you are in bed. Midoriya still wraps one arm around you, using his other hand to scroll through his phone. 

“Izuku, is everything okay?” you ask softly, almost nervous to question it. 

He looks at you, smiling uneasily. “Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?” 

“N-No reason. I was just wondering if you’ve been more busy than before. It’s just that you’ve been coming home later and later. Not to mention that I know that you know there have been a few dates we need to catch up on…” 

Midoriya lowers his phone, pondering your words as he wraps both arms around you. “I know, baby. I’m sorry about that. You know, I didn’t realize just how many cases the police are working on at any given time. Big-case villains, small-case villains, missing people reports… so as the number one hero I’m trying to help out as much as I can.” 

You look over at him. “You’re working with the police to solve all those cases?” you try for a smile and a joke. “No wonder you’ve been so busy.” 

He grins, not noticing the fake smile you’ve plastered on your face. He’s looking at you, but it feels more like he’s looking through you. “People out there need me.” 

You touch his cheek, trying to root him back to you. “Well, I need you too, Izuku.” You try to sound lighthearted, but something heavy plants itself in your heart. 

At that, Midoriya’s eyes really do focus on your face this time. He cups your cheek. “Baby, I’m right here. Always.” 

Are you really? It’s a thought that your mind whispers to you softly, challenging you to say it. But you cannot rise to the task. You don’t say anything that night. You just nod, hugging him and thinking: this is the last time I’ll have to say this. 

Unfortunately, life does not work that way. It finds a way to topple down all around you. Not only does Midoriya remain busy, but you get promoted at Ground Zero’s agency. You move from a cubicle into your own office along with a clusterfuck of new responsibilities. 

The next few months feel like one thing after another. Every attempt both you and Midoriya make falls flat. You plan a birthday party for Midoriya, only to fly out on a impromptu business trip hours before. Midoriya makes reservations for the grand opening of this fancy sushi restaurant, but ultimately stands you up because he fell asleep on the couch. He tries to come home early to surprise you, but you’re out buying groceries for the week. 

Conversation between the two of you becomes as nonexistent as the plans you try to make. What were once joyful exchanges about the past or eventful tales from your jobs become surface level questions about the weather or if either one of you were going to be home for dinner - with the answer typically being no. It feels like another game of pretend with Midoriya - only this time, you’re pretending like this relationship is on the right track. 

Everything comes to a headway on a Tuesday morning. Midoriya is out of bed and out of the apartment. Typical. You didn’t even hear him come in last night (or early this morning). But you notice a text message from Kirishimia at six in the morning. Less typical. Urgent meeting at the heroes commission. Turn on the news when you wake up. 

The headlines jump out onto the screen as soon as you turn on the TV. 

DEVASTATING EARTHQUAKE STRIKES. TOP OVERSEAS PRO HEROES REQUESTED FOR REINFORCEMENTS. 

The footage is horrible. Buildings toppled down, rubble everywhere. People digging through. Children screaming. All the things of nightmares, not unlike the disaster you remember from your childhood - from the Liberation War all those years ago. 

It’s footage that continues to be displayed over social media and over the city as you get ready for work and take the subway to the office. It’s still there when you turn on the TV in your office when you show up to work. 

“It’s horrible,” Roni, your friend from the finance department, mutters, arms crossed over her chest as she joins you to watch. “The hero commission is probably trying to figure out which heroes to send over and which ones need to stay here in Japan.” She turns to you. “Any news from Deku?” 

The mention of his name makes your stomach churn. Truthfully, you haven’t spoken to Izuku, really spoken to him, in weeks. You don’t even remember the last time you existed in the same space together. You clear your throat. You check your phone with a weight in your gut, knowing that there won’t be any messages.You hate that your suspicions are confirmed. “Nothing.” 

He’s probably at the same meeting as Bakugou and Kirishimia, along with all the other top heroes. 

It is a few hours of tense silence in the office. Both for the fate of which heroes will travel abroad and if your bosses will be part of that departure. 

The aforementioned bosses return a few hours later, confirming that they will not be sent away. As part of the top five pro-heroes, they are tasked with staying. “Because some others at the top volunteered to leave. The commission wants to make sure at least some of us are still here holding down the fort,” Kirishima clarifies. 

You wring your hands nervously. “What about Deku?” you ask. 

Bakugou is noticeably quiet, something you pick up on. “You should go home,” he says instead. Then, he trails off into something softer. “That damn nerd doesn’t know when to stop.” 

Your eyes widen, your heart picks up, and you leave. You practically race home to your apartment, to your home. 

Izuku is packing when you arrive. 

You slam the door. “What the fuck are you doing?” 

For a moment, your Izuku peaks through the cracks. He jolts, looking startled and wide-eyed. But when he realizes that it’s you at the door, that facade disappears. You are facing Pro Hero Deku now, the hero who has just volunteered to fly away from here, away from you. “My flight is leaving soon,” he says, returning to packing. 

“You’re leaving,” you echo. “Just like that?” 

“You saw the news, didn’t you?” he challenges. “Those people need me. I have to help them.” 

“Without asking me?” 

He pauses. “This isn’t something I need a second opinion on.” 

You clench your teeth together, trying to swallow the hurt. You’ve heard the stories from Bakugou about Izuku during the Liberation War - about Izuku barrelling headfirst into tracking down All For One alone, without his classmates or his support system, without regard to himself. His warnings suddenly feel like a lifetime ago. “A second opinion?” you bite. “I’m not a fucking doctor, Izuku, I’m your girlfriend. I thought we were a team. Shouldn’t I have a say in this?” 

He throws his clothes on top of the ones he has already folded in. “What is there to say? How do you expect me to stand aside when I have a way of helping these people? How could you understand, when you don’t have the power I do.” 

Ouch. You never thought he’d pull that card. Just because you don’t have a flashy quirk doesn’t mean that you don’t want to help people, it doesn’t mean that you don’t care. But your anger turns into sharp words that leave your lips without warning. “Fine,” you snap. “Do whatever the fuck you want. You’re really good at that.” 

He glares at you. “What is that supposed to mean?” 

“Don’t act like you don’t know anything!” you protest loudly. “Don’t pretend like you haven’t been home in weeks, because you haven’t been here. Not really, anyways. Did you know this is our first conversation in days? But not just that. You’ve been standing me up, ignoring me for months. I thought we could eventually talk about this when things at work quieted down. But things have quieted down. All the other heroes, all your friends, are having date nights and friend nights. But you aren’t. You still aren’t here with me. You just stay out there, taking one police case after another.” 

“You knew what you were doing when we started going out,” Izuku snaps back. It’s like you’ve both been holding back on each other, only waiting until now for the dam to break. “I’m the number one hero now. My quirk comes from All Might, and so do his responsibilities. I can’t always be here.” 

It’s all coming out now, you think vaguely to yourself. The anger is overpowering the hurt you should be feeling. “I know that, and I’m not asking you to always be here,” you say sharply. “I’ve always said that I just want you to consider me and care about me. But I can see that something like that is impossible for you to do.” 

Stop, your mind whispers. Anyone with eyes could see that Izuku cares. He cares more than anyone else on the planet. That’s why he’s here. That’s why you’re here. That’s why you’re in love with him, and that’s why it hurts so much.

“You’re right,” he finally speaks hollowly. “How can you expect me to neglect my job? Because that job, and the people that need me…” he pauses. “Are more important than what’s here.” 

The next words you were planning to say die down in your throat, as you both are left alone in the silence of what you’ve just said to each other. What is there to say after all that? 

That’s when the hurt settles in, the insecurities threatening to swallow you alive. You know that you’ve also said some terrible things, but the knowledge that Izuku has confirmed your worst fears renders you mute. That you, for all the love in your heart you hold for the man in front of you, will always see you as second place in his life.

“Fine,” you whisper, refusing to see the empty look in Izuku’s eyes. Not like you can see it anyways with the tears fogging up what’s in front of you. “Go do whatever you want. Save the world just like you always have, Deku. But you should know that if you get on that plane, I’m done. If you get on that plane, it’s over between us.” 

You remember to grab your keys off the counter before walking out the door. 

You don’t know how far you walk, or for how long. The nighttime bustle ignores your sulking as you continue down the sidewalk. You pass by night clubs, convenience stores, other apartment buildings - but none of those matter. All you know in your heart is that this might be the end of you and Izuku. And the last thing he would remember you saying is that he doesn’t care. 

You stop in your tracks. How could you say something like that? Izuku is the number one pro hero because he cares, and he has been a consistent source of comfort in your life because he cares. Was it really okay for you to give him such an ultimatum when you never said you could make him choose between work and you? Maybe you can return back, apologize, and try to talk things out. Perhaps he didn’t mean what he said, just as you didn’t mean what you said. 

You run back to the apartment. Had you walked further than you thought? Your lungs burn with air, your legs ache as you run up the stairs, and through the front door. “Izuku?” you call out. “Izuku, I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I said those things…” 

But the apartment is quiet, empty of Izuku and his immediate belongings. He’s gone. 

How could he just leave? Izuku may be petty, but never aggressive when upset. Especially when something as big as this serves as a roadblock to your relationship. Especially when you don’t know when you’ll see him again. 

On instrict, your hand goes to your back pocket to check your phone but it’s not there. You pat yourself down a few times, but come up to the same conclusion. No phone. Did you have it with you when you left? You swear you left the office with it in your bag. 

Your bag. It was thrown by the door upon first arrival. You tear into it, rummaging through laptop, files, notebook and planners before producing the damn thing. The screen lights up. 

9 missed calls from Izuku <3 

Izuku <3 (6:03pm): the driver is here. I wish we had more time. I’m sorry for what I said. I’m sorry I have to get on this plane. But people need me. I can’t just stand aside. 

Izuku <3 (6:03pm): I hope we can talk soon 

The lump comes back and doesn’t leave. It makes the tears come fast and hard, the gasps leave your throat as you throw your phone somewhere faraway before curling up against the door. Because are you not someone he cares about? Don’t you deserve to have help from him? 

You bring your knees to your chest, feeling the bitter loneliness stronger than you’ve ever felt before. You always knew that Izuku was a hero above and beyond. The pair of you have been dancing around each other for as long as you’ve known him. You really assumed that things would be alright once feelings were sorted out and Izuku showed up that night all those months ago, promising a commitment to you. But you were naive. Feelings were not enough to enact the selflessness needed to love a hero. 

. 

Just before you fall asleep that night, you vaguely remember crawling onto the couch. Your body carries a heavy weight that lots of tears usually bring, along with a sore neck and back. You sit up feeling groggy and tired, immediately searching for your phone. Although the intention is to check the date and time, you still feel disheartened when you notice Izuku has not called or texted since his previous message. 

You do, however, have some texts from Bakugou. 

boss bakugou (9:46pm): Hey, call me when you get this. I should have told you about the nerd, but thought it was better you hear it from him. Hopefully everything has worked out. 

boss bakugou (9:46pm): Or whatever. I don’t give a shit what happens to you two. 

boss bakugou (9:46pm): I’m mostly kidding. 

boss bakugou (11:02pm): Did Deku leave???? 

You blink, reading the messages many times over because your tired mind cannot process it normally. You debate reading the message, or just ignoring it and also skipping work while you’re at it. 

you (6:34am): he left 

Your fingers hover over the keyboard.

you (6:40am): it’s over 

You should know that Bakugou would be awake at this time. 

boss bakugou (6:42am): Still want to come into work?

A part of you doesn’t want to. But a tiny part of you whispers that you should. 

you (6:54am): of course 

Despite your reassurance, there is a numbness that comes with hopping into the shower and washing away the messiness of yesterday. Because no matter how long you stand underneath the water, you cannot wash away the words and feelings. 

Because was this really the end of you and Izuku? He really did leave, finalizing everything with his choice - picking the world over you. Implying that you aren’t as important as his job and the people who need him is a bold claim. It’s not something one can just make up on the spot and not mean. 

Getting dressed is harder than you thought. You have to put some spoons in the refrigerator to help with the puffiness of your eyes. You have to step into your bedroom for the first time since Izuku left to gather some clothes. For some reason, the reality of what exactly you’ve gone through with Izuku doesn’t hit you. It makes you numb, sure, but it feels like these are problems someone else is going through.

Someone who is not you, as you leave your apartment and somehow manage to find your way to the Riot Ground agency. 

Kirishima and Bakugou are in the lobby of the building as you enter. 

You aren’t going to speak first, and the heroes in front of you seem to know that. “The nerd really left?” Bakugou asks. 

You really thought you wouldn’t cry, especially after crying last night and determining that you were fine enough to work. But somehow, external forces bring up the feelings and the lump in your throat returns. You tuck your hair behind your ears, internally cursing as tears start gathering in your eyes. “Well,” you start, unable to help the way your voice catches, the way it breaks. “He made his decision clear last night.” 

“Man, he was just like this when we were kids,” Kirishima grumbles. “Always putting others before himself. I just never thought he’d do that to you.” He looks at you. “I’m really sorry. I hope he didn’t say anything stupid. He was going a little crazy during that meeting.” 

“He…” you gasp a little under the weight of your tears, hoping that neither Kirishima nor Bakugou will comment on it. “He said… our relationship wasn’t important.” You sniff. “I mean… I also said some mean things. But… I really… didn’t think… he’d leave without saying… goodbye.” 

Bakugou wordlessly passes you a tissue while Kirishima guides you down the hall into his office. Neither of them press you for details as you sit in front of Kirishima’s desk, trying to calm down. 

“Deku isn’t thinking about himself right now,” Bakugou says quietly once your gasps have died down and the tears have stopped. “When he sees that people need him, and he knows he can help, he’ll self-sabotage himself. That doesn’t excuse what he said, but he likely isn’t thinking clearly.” 

You nod slowly, not sure if you’re acknowledging Bakugou’s words or just trying to get a handle on the overall situation. “I don’t know what to do,” you whisper. 

Kirishima nods. “It’s a lot to handle. And you don’t have to do anything you aren’t ready for.” He shakes his head. “I’m not sure what anyone would do after hearing words like that.” 

What would be the next step anyways? A text from Izuku first implies that perhaps moving the conversation along falls onto your shoulders. But what is there to say? Hey Izuku, I know you said this isn’t important to you and you left for another country for an undisclosed amount of time even though I said our relationship was over if you left. Anyways, how’s it going? 

So rather than think about it - you wait, wondering if the right moment will ever come. 

And you wait. 

But you never seem to find the words to say.

.

Midoriya Izuku is away for a year and a half. 

Your phone remains empty of his texts, his calls, or his love for the entire time. But you see him everywhere, especially on the news where the world is praising him for yet another save. Whether it’s digging people out of the rubble, or helping other countries with villain cases, or teaching society how to rebuild their communities after disasters. 

He’s in his element. His tinge of sadness is probably the knowledge that he couldn’t save everyone, you think to yourself. Always watching him on your phone, or on your laptop when a breaking news notification comes up. 

You’re sure he’s happy with his choice. After all, a year and a half with no contact is quite telling about his decision. Yours too, because you never mustered up the courage to ask how he was doing. You never talk to him. 

Yet, you hear about him enough. Not just through the news, but through your boss and colleagues. It’s hard to avoid your pro hero ex-boyfriend when you work in the hero industry and so happen to have two bosses who have known the aforementioned ex-boyfriend since high school. 

For the most part, both Kirishima and Bakugou don’t mention Izuku. They keep their opinions to themselves with everyday that goes by. They didn’t say anything when you started showing up to work without the necklace Izuku had given you, when you removed the matching phone charm, or when the couple's picture you had framed on your desk went into the trash. 

It’s a line, however, that Bakugou crosses when you give him a box of Izuku’s things - the things he didn’t bring abroad with him like his extra sweaters, books, his favorite All Might mug, and that aforementioned necklace. “Listen,” Bakugou had said. “I know things have been hard for you, having to see that nerd’s face everywhere. But I’m sure it’s been rough for him. Why don’t you give him a call?” 

“What is there to say?” you had returned softly. 

Bakugou had rolled his eyes. “How about you start with saying sorry? I’m sure he also feels the same.” 

You didn’t know how to respond to that. Would sorry be enough to make up for what you said? Would sorry be enough to make up for what he said? Would that be enough to repair the underlying issues of your relationship?

It’s a quiet year and a half. You move out of that old apartment, into a newer but smaller one. You work, eat, and sleep. You see friends on the weekends and watch dramas on the weekdays. Eventually, you stop watching the news every night. You stop getting notifications about Pro Hero Deku on your phone, which is why it comes as a big surprise when Kirishima approaches your office on a random Friday morning. He leans against the doorframe, folding his arms across his chest. 

“He’s coming home.” 

Your stomach drops without meaning to. A name doesn’t need to be uttered for you to know who exactly is coming home. You continue typing out your email, doing well to ignore that feeling inside of you. “Is… is that so?” 

Kirishima nods, eying you worriedly. “The repair efforts are finally done. Deku refused to return until he knew everyone was okay.” 

Of course he would, you observe. “I-I’m glad to hear that,” you muster softly. 

Out of the corner of your eye, Kirishima is still watching you. “Ochako and Iida are hosting a welcome back party for him. I wasn’t sure if you’d be interested…” 

“Probably not,” you say, eyes not leaving your screen. “But thanks for the invite.” 

Kirishima makes a noise. “Hey, I think that Katsuki and I have been as hands-off as possible about you and Izuku - but don’t you think it’s been long enough? Why not just talk about your problems instead of avoiding them?” 

You look at him for the first time since he stopped by your office. “I’m not avoiding anything,” you point out. “Midoriya said what he needed to say. I said what I needed to say. Besides,” you look back at your screen. “It happened. He’s moved on. And so have I.” 

Kirishima walks until he’s standing right next to you. He leans back against your desk. “You’ve moved on, huh? Even more reason to go, right? That’s what a friend would do, isn’t it? Support your other friend who is returning home after a year?” 

“He has plenty of other friends,” you retort. You’re not even sure what you’re typing out anymore, but it’s better than looking at Kirishima. He’s likely disappointed in your decision. “He wouldn’t miss seeing me.” 

Your boss makes a noise of protest, but doesn’t say anything. He ends up leaving for an upcoming meeting, saving you the trouble of his further pestering. Not ever seeing Izuku again, you decide, would be the best option. 

. 

Unfortunately, life doesn’t turn out that way. Because three weeks after Midoriya Izuku’s alleged return, there is a knock on your door. 

And you, expecting a package, opens the door. Your stomach drops. “I-Izu- I… Midoriya!” you choke out, your heart suddenly feels like it is launching itself into the sun. Your stomach doesn’t fare well either. You swear it feels like it’s being wrung dry. Your mouth opens and closes a few times, eyes flying all over him as if trying to make up for the year and half you haven’t seen him in person.  

He’s different. His hair is a little shorter. It still has that curly texture at the top, over his forehead, but is that an undercut in the back? Oh dear. Today he is wearing jeans and a sweater with SWEATSHIRT in typed kanji. Well… some things are still the same. His eyes are still that deep forest green color. Today, they are sad. But they are wide, also looking you up and down like he is seeing you for the first time. 

“Hi,” you exclaim after realizing neither of you have spoken words for a concerning amount of time. You try to ignore how distant, how light your voice sounds. You eventually manage to close your mouth. “Sorry, I…” Your thoughts are scrambling. “I was expecting a package…” 

He seems to have found his voice. “O-oh!” he returns, holding up a box towards you. “That must be this. It was by your door.” 

You try hard not to look at him as you reach over. You cradle the package, glad to have something to distract you as you fiddle with the edges. The first time you’re seeing Midoriya in a year and a half, and you are uselessly mute. You do open your mouth, but only to say something stupid. “Seems like the pro hero stuff didn’t work out, if you’re a delivery boy now.” 

Midoriya blinks, quiet, and you curse yourself. 

You close your eyes for a moment, opening them to look at him. “Sorry, that was stupid to say.” 

He tries to smile. But it’s soft, sad, and doesn’t reach his eyes. You hate that you notice right away. “Not at all. C-Can I come in?” 

You inhale slowly, tucking the package behind your back as you open the door wider for him. “Sure.” You watch carefully as he enters your apartment. He leaves his shoes on, but lingers at the entrance. 

His eyes take in the new apartment. “I like the new place.” 

“Thank you,” you say. You place the package on the small table near the door. “Midoriya… what are you doing here?” 

He whirls around. “I’m actually here on business. Kacchan asked me to pick up some damage report.” 

“Oh!” That was unexpected. It’s hard to tell if it’s unwelcomed or not that Izuku actually has a reason for showing up. It’s also hard to tell if Bakugou was actually too busy to come over himself. But it seems like a waste to ponder on that. “Oh, yes. That. I can grab that for you right now.” 

You walk further into the apartment. Midoriya does take his shoes off this time to follow you. “Sorry for just showing up, by the way. I probably should have called you but…” 

You start digging through your work backpack. “Why are you apologizing?” 

“W-Well,” he stammers. “I know Kacchan sent me here on official business but… I don’t know. I don’t want to make it seem like I’m crossing a boundary or anything. I know Kacchan gave me your address, but still.” 

Perhaps he is overstepping. For a moment, memories of his neglect, of your words, flash through your mind. But where you once felt hurt now feels distant and foreign. “Not at all,” you reassure, producing the file and looking up at him. “I mean, we’ve always… been friends, haven’t we?”

If Midoriya is bothered by your question, he doesn’t show it. He smiles again. Yet, once more, it does not reach his eyes. “Yeah. Of course.” 

The silence feels like something dangerous. Izuku looks deep in thought, and it makes you panic. So you cover the distance and extend the folder towards him. “Here you go.” 

He takes it. “Thanks.” A pause. “So, uh, how have you been?” 

You rub your hands, definitely giving away the nerves. “I’m alright. Still working at Riot Ground, which is nice. I actually have to manage people… which is fun, but also nerve-wracking because there’s a team that relies on me to distribute tasks and be on top of everything.” 

“Well,” Midoriya starts. “You’ve always been really organized, so I’m sure you’re doing great. Kacchan and Eijirou always have nothing but praise for you.” 

You nod in agreement, not really thinking as you open your mouth to continue the conversation. “It’s nice that you kept in touch with them while you were away.” 

You shut your mouth but it is too late. The words have already been spoken, and you regret it at once. Why? You were content playing pretend, just as you assume he had been - but now you’ve gone and opened your big mouth. Even worse, you forgot to run your thoughts through that filter in your brain. 

Well. Not much you can do about this now. You’ve threatened the fragile peace of pretending, and now there is not much you can do independently. You pause in your movements, refusing to look at Midoriya. Instead, you stare at the wall behind him. 

But it seems like you underestimate his kind nature. He doesn’t rise to the bait. From the corner of your eye, you see his nod. “I talked to them occasionally,” he starts softly. He pauses, long enough that you look at him. He’s staring back. “I just wanted to make sure things were alright back home.” 

Your eyes widen, lips part. What exactly does he mean by that?

Your silence reads like an open invitation for Midoriya. He steps forward, opening his mouth - ! 

His phone rings, startling both of you out of whatever trance you were pulled into. You look down, shuffling. Midoriya jerks back, face shuttering before pulling out his phone. “K-Kacchan,” he grumbles. 

Noises on the other end of the line. Bakugou, likely reprimanding him for taking too long. 

After a moment, he jolts. “A-ah, you’re right! Sorry Kacchan. I got the files, I’ll head back over soon. No! No… there was no trouble. Okay.” He hangs up, looking at you. “That was Kacchan. I, uh, I should go.” 

You nod. “Uh, yeah. No problem.” 

He moves to make his leave. You follow behind just to see him out, but he turns around before he can leave. “Hey, so. Since I’m back… don’t be a stranger, okay? If you need anything, I’m here.”

Oh, a tiny voice whispers in your heart, fuck. He’s really continuing this game of pretend. 

Valid. Izuku has never been good at confrontation. Neither have you, so you give your best attempt at a smile. “Thank you… Midoriya.” 

His fingers twitch, but leaves soon after. 

. 

Pretending that you were always just friends with Midoriya is strange, but unsurprisingly normal considering your history with him. Now that he’s back home, his unexpected visit to your apartment seemed to enforce something: he’s willing to fake it as much and for as long as you are.

It starts small - hesitant texts he sends sharing something from patrol that remind him of you. Texts that transition into asking about your day, or inquiring about a show you mention. Naturally, you are hesitant to return the effort. But a small part of you, the small part that is soft on him, is elated that he is back and actually wants to talk to you. 

“Of course the nerd would still want to be friends,” Bakugou scoffs. “You clearly don’t know your own boyfriend that well.” 

“Ex,” you interrupt sharply. “Ex-boyfriend. And sorry I don’t have years of experience handling Midoriya like you do. Usually, when things end badly with an ex, ignoring each other is the bare minimum most people expect.” 

“Well,” he snaps back. “You idiot. Deku isn’t like most people.” He quiets down when he sees the guilt on your face. “What are you going to do now? I heard you were invited to Todoroki’s party.” 

That is true. Shouto himself extended the invitation to you through a text message you were surprised to get. After all, most of your friendships with the Izuku’s old classmates have slowed down a fair amount post breakup. In general, you’ve never been too big on attending gatherings of any kind. But since you and Izuku have reunited (i.e., you guys are just playing house rather than actually talk), it leaves you (once again) in a gray zone. 

You settle with just trying to stay aloof. “I was invited, yeah.” 

Bakugou glares at you. “What? You’re suddenly playing coy? You going or not?” 

You shrug. “I don’t know!!” 

He rolls his eyes. “It’s just a party. It’s not rocket science.” He pauses. “You should go.” 

“What are you, my consciousness now?” you retort hotly.

“Okay, fine,” he spits. “Go. Or don’t go. And deal with a paranoid Deku who is stupid sometimes but not stupid enough to know when you’re avoiding him.” 

You glare at Bakugou for a little longer, really hating how smart he is in spite of his brashness. You’re not really sure you can handle a confrontation with Midoriya right now, and you know that he’ll try to ask questions if you don’t show up. Especially because you know that he knows that Todoroki invited you himself. 

“Fine, fine. I’ll go just for Todoroki,” you say, defeated sigh and all. You pick up your phone to look at the time. It’s 4:30, almost time to leave work for the day. “I’ll go home first to drop my stuff off then head over, I guess.” 

“No,” Bakugou snaps, grabbing your work bag from the corner of your office. “I can see your tricks coming from a mile away. I’m not leaving you on the off-chance you’ll go home and pretend to be sick. We’re leaving now.” 

“No, wait, BAKUGOU!” you exclaim, frantically trying to shut off your electronic belongings and gather the items on your desk that need to go into that work bag. “This doesn’t even involve you, why do you care so much?” 

Bakugou whirls around in the doorframe of your office. “Because if that nerd tries to talk to me about you one more time I will blow his face off. We’re going.” 

You try to act as if Bakugou’s words have lit a fire of meekness inside of you as you follow him out of the office. “A-Are you sure we need to leave now?” you fight weakly. “K-Kirishima isn’t even back yet!” 

“Shitty Hair is patrolling until later today. He’ll be late,” Bakugou explains, practically shoving you into his car. “Besides, the sooner I get there, the sooner I can leave.” 

You huff. “Your intentions are definitely in the right place there, Bakugou.” 

He sneers at you, before turning up the radio and leaving the two of you in silence. It’s a bit of a drive to Todoroki’s house. But in Bakugou’s presence, you’ve never felt the need to speak words to fill the space. He’s enjoyed the quiet as much as you. However, today the quiet fills your mind with questions. Was it really okay for you to be at this party? Would your presence make things awkward? Was Midoriya going to be there?

Bakugou pulls up to Todoroki’s house soon, located in a quiet wealthy neighborhood away from the city. Despite the wealth that you feel in the air, Todoroki’s house is rather discreet and combines modern architecture with a traditional style. It’s beautiful - you’re simultaneously flabbergasted and impressed by how rich Shouto Todoroki is. With the high bamboo and trees, you almost don’t notice a gate on the property, unlocked by a code that Bakugou knows by heart. There’s a sizable driveway, filled with a few cars and a familiar figure that makes your heart both sing and drop. 

Midoriya is in what you assume to be his car, scrolling through his phone. His gaze lifts when he sees you and Bakugou pulling up. For a brief second, his eyes widen when looking at you. But by the time Bakugou parks and you’re hauling yourself out of the car, that glint in his eyes is gone. He’s also out of his car as well, walking over to meet you halfway.

You immediately write that previous look off as nothing. Instead, you smile and wave as you approach Midoriya. “Hi Midoriya, did you just arrive?” 

He smiles over at you. “Yeah. I was just answering a couple emails before you guys arrived.” He glances over at Bakugou with a look that is surprisingly… pensive? “Hi Kacchan.” 

Bakugou grunts in greeting as he immediately starts making his way to Todoroki’s house. 

You cast one last look at Midoriya, who is already looking at you. Feeling the awkwardness start settling in, you turn and follow after Bakugou. 

There are more people at the party than you originally thought as Todoroki opens the door to greet you. You weren’t sure what to assume, only knowing that Shouto Todoroki is a relatively private person - but there is his entire class from the UA hero course and people you can only assume to be his family. Additionally, there are people you recognize from his agency - sidekicks and his manager, who (thankfully) you know. 

Besides that, you are completely on the outside. 

Perhaps this wasn’t the best idea. 

Still, Bakugou’s warning about Deku is too prevalent to back away from. Besides, you think bitterly, you yourself had said it best to Midoriya. You’re friends. 

You see Midoriya entering the house right behind you, and immediately make a beeline down the hallway. In your mind, the excuse is that you need to use the restroom. But asking Todoroki himself would subtract the ten minutes you’re banking on to find it. You’re not sure how long you’re going to be at this party. But every minute away from an unfamiliar crowd would be best. 

You do manage to find a bathroom at the end of the hallway, telling yourself that no one is out there wondering where you are as you fix up your appearance in the mirror. 

When you open the door, Mina is on the other side. She appears to be looking for something, until she sees you and you realize she’s looking for someone. For you. 

She exclaims your name, bounding towards you. “I thought I saw you!!” 

You shouldn’t be surprised that Mina is here, but your heart feels a little lighter knowing that you know another person. While dating Midoriya, you’ve had a few lunches or general hangouts with his old classmates. Everyone was always very friendly in that ‘this is my friend’s girlfriend’ type of way. From your memory, Mina was the someone who treated you more like a friend rather than Midoriya’s girlfriend. 

“H-Hi Mina,” you manage, trying for a small smile. “How are you?” 

“I’m good,” she says, mirroring your smile. “How about you? I… heard what happened.” 

“O-Oh really,” you reply, going stiff. 

“Yeah, from Izuku. I didn’t know right away that you guys had… broken up,” Mina explains. “I was also sent overseas after that big earthquake. But I’m sure it must have been challenging. Frankly, Izuku is an idiot for what he did!” 

You soften slightly. “Well… I wouldn’t say he’s an idiot. I think he just had to do what he thought was best.”

Mina smiles. “You’ve always been so nice and understanding. I’m glad to see that you’re doing well though! We should celebrate that.” 

You blink. “What do you mean?” 

“By letting me get you a drink, of course,” she exclaims, taking your wrist and dragging you back down the hallway. You catch Midoriya’s wandering gaze, but ignore him in favor of Mina taking you to the kitchen. She boasts about the soju and sake that Todoroki let her bring before the pair of you take a couple shots together. It leaves you warm, fuzzy, giggly, and prone to wandering around. 

Eventually, as Mina gets caught up in her own group of friends, you find yourself in the backyard of Todoroki’s house - the shishi-odoshi hitting the rock and bamboo echoing in the quiet night, the sound of your shoes crunching against the sand underneath your shoes. Todoroki has a little bamboo garden in the corner, fixed with a bench and other flowers whose color reflects off light from the house. 

Still cradling the mix Mina had poured for you, you take a seat on the bench. 

It feels like you’re sitting there for hours before you hear shoes crunching against the sand. You jolt, whirling in your seat and heart dropping when you see that it’s Midoriya himself making his way towards you. 

“M-Midoriya,” you stammer, tearing your gaze away first and staring down at your drink. “Did the party get overwhelming for you too?” 

He’s quiet as he takes a seat next to you. “Sort of,” he answers vaguely. “I also noticed that you weren’t with Mina anymore. I guess, I just wanted to see where you were.” 

You look at him. “You… knew I was hanging out with Mina?” 

He looks back at you. “Of course. I remember that you guys would talk whenever you hung out with my friends. Did you have a good time with her?” 

“Y-Yeah, we were just catching up,” you return, laughing softly. “I know it may look like it, but I wasn’t avoiding you or anything.” 

“You sure?” Midoriya asks. “Because it felt like every time I tried to look at you, maybe get a hello in or something, you would look away or run away.” 

Your hands suddenly feel wet and nervous. “M-Midoriya…” 

He sighs. “And that’s another thing. You don’t call me Izuku anymore.” He looks sad again. “I thought we were friends. But you call me by my last name and you avoid me and you…” he trails off, seeming to try and hype himself up for something. “Are you with Kacchan?” 

You blink, taken aback. “Am I what?” 

He gets nervous again. “Are you… dating Kacchan?” 

“No,” you reply dryly. “I’m not with Bakugou. He just drove us straight from the office. You of all people should know that I wouldn’t date my boss…” you cut yourself off, looking back down and frantically trying to figure out a way to end this conversation. “You know,” you say, just speaking words at this point. “You don’t need to be out here keeping me company. I’m sure your hero friends are more important than this,” you try to joke, but it comes out more serious than you were hoping. Your drunken words seem to unveil something unconscious inside of you that you thought you’d move on from. Goddamnit. 

Midoriya doesn’t say anything, as the reality of what you’ve said sinks in. You really hadn’t meant for it to come out that way. But here you are: drunk, cold, hurt, and feeling stupid. 

So you laugh, a hollow sound. “Wow, how much alcohol did Mina put into this? I better go find her and ask because this shouldn’t be allowed…” You’re standing up from the bench, leaving your drink behind, those internal red lights telling you to run despite your outward attempts to look composed. 

In fact, you are about to run because it’s just too awkward. But Midoriya calls your name, softly. And you, always drawn to him, just have to look back. 

He stands, slowly walking towards you. “I don’t know why I said those things. But I’ve always felt awful. I just never had the guts to apologize earlier.” 

You wring your hands. Was he really taking the bait now? He must have been drinking too. But his gaze is clear enough to tell you he’s taking this seriously, and you’re too scared to run away. So you speak quietly. “I know why you said that. And you do too. It’s because you love your job. You can say that you’re sorry but I’ve always felt like you put everyone else’s needs before mine or yours. So… don’t say you’re sorry. Not if you don’t mean it.” 

He’s quiet long enough that you turn around, about to return inside before Midoriya speaks again. “I was being selfish,” he announces, reflective enough to stop you. You turn around. He walks right up to you. “I thought about you everyday while I was gone. Hero work has always been important to me, yes, but you are my dream. You’re who I want to be with, who I want to love. I was stupid to take advantage of that.” 

Your lips part, a sensation filling your body. Is it relief? Perhaps, anxiety? 

You don’t pull away when his hand reaches out, waiting a moment as if expecting you to pull away. When you do not, he gently cups both your cheek, a movement so soft and warm that your heart melts a little. 

But… it doesn’t feel like enough. His touch alone cannot heal the wound you’ve unknowingly covered for a year and a half. Without meaning to, your eyes water. “What… What do you want, Midoriya?” 

He exhales softly, brushing a thumb along your cheek. “I just want to be with you.” 

That makes the breath catch in your throat, making you realize you are actually torn between that relief and anxiety. Relief that he feels the same. But anxiety because you don’t know if that is enough. “I feel like I’ve waited for you my whole life. But I don’t know if I can believe you.” 

His face falls as his eyebrows furrow and he closes his eyes. He leans forward, resting his forehead against yours. He breathes you in, breathes out. “I know,” he whispers. “After all that, I don’t know if I’d believe me either.” 

His eyes look disheartened and full of guilt. So much so that you cannot help but gently touch his nose with your own. “I’m not entirely innocent either. I said some mean things to you that night too, and I’m sorry. I should never have said you don’t care - that was wrong of me.”

He pulls away a little, but his hands are still on your cheek. Still sad but a little bit of hope glimmers. “No, you weren’t wrong for saying that. Once things calmed down overseas, Kacchan called me and gave me a lot of shit for what I said to you. I should have stayed, or talked things over with you. I’m sorry.” 

You inhale soft, feeling a weight lift off your chest and no longer feeling like you have to make a run for it. “It’s okay.” You smile a little. “I know I just said I’d have trouble believing you. But… I do believe that.” 

He laughs a little, more like a tiny exhale. His eyes are carefully watching your face now. “I’m glad.” 

Well, you think to yourself, now that everything's out in the open, it’s probably time to ask the important question. “What does this mean for us?” 

He hums softly, hands leaving your cheeks. But he does not pull away, likely trying to enjoy this moment as you are. His hands travel down to your waist, keeping you close. “I didn’t say all those things hoping we could try being together again. But I do want to say that…” he thumbs at the skin of your hip, always needing to be touching you. “I’m here. Really. I want to be here for you and for however long it takes you to believe me again.”

Your gaze flickers between his eyes, feeling the sincerity of his confession. “Thank you,” you reply softly. “I want to believe you again, and I want us to work together on that. I just think we need more time.” 

It’s neither a full rejection nor a full commitment - but enough where Midoriya grins brightly. “I’ll give you all the time in the world.” 

. 

Honestly? At first, you think Midoriya is full of shit. Not in a bad way. Just in a tentative ‘is he really going to follow through’ perspective. You’ve always believed in Midoriya as a person. But considering the history, the daily ins and outs have required a little more work. 

Midoriya had been away for a year and a half. You may not know his favorite food anymore or his favorite movie or his favorite song to fall asleep to. But something you haven’t forgotten about him is that Midoriya always tries. 

Texts become more frequent, as Midoriya grows more eager to repair that bridge between the two of you. Surface level questions about your day turn back into similar text conversations of how things were when you were dating. He still enjoys checking up on you, asking about your day, and recalling memories that actually make you smile whilst reading them. Despite his behavior, he never actually pushes questions about your relationship. 

He trusts you to communicate, just as you start to trust him once more with your thoughts, feelings, and insecurities. You go from pretending to be alright with Midoriya to actually being alright with Midoriya. And it doesn’t fill you with doubt. It leaves you content, happy to be where you are with him. 

It comes to a headway about six months after Midoriya returns home - and you get injured at work. 

It’s nothing serious. You sprain your ankle after missing a step going down the stairs at the office. Most of the heroes you could have called were out fighting some big villain on the other side of town, so the agency itself was empty of any heroes or sidekicks. Hence, your friend from finance drives you to the hospital. A couple hours of waiting, and you are admitted and immediately given ice packs, a pillow for leg elevation, and a recommendation from the doctor to get an x-ray scan to ensure no broken bones.

You decide to give Kirishimia a call after your x-ray, reassured by the doctor that the turnaround time for the results would take a little over an hour. 

You almost regret trying to give him a call, considering what he was doing at the moment, but are surprised to hear him pick up the phone on the last ring. He calls your name, confused. “What’s going on? Is everything okay? I’m still caught up in the fight. More support has arrived so I think it’s wrapping up soon. Luckily we’ve been able to contain the damage but the first aid station is packed right now.” 

“Eijiro, I just wanted to let you know that I’m at the hospital. But I’m okay.” 

“What? The hospital? What happened? Is everything okay?” Kirishimia calls. “Do you need me to head over there?” A pause. “The police just arrived so I really do thing the fight will be over soon. Not every hero has to be present for the paperwork. I can come over right away.” 

“No, don’t,” you say. “I’m fine, it’s just a sprain. I already did the x-ray scan and am waiting to make sure nothing is broken.” You smile. “It’s alright, Eijiro. Focus on what’s more important - protecting the people.” 

Kirishima makes a tiny noise of protest, but seems to find some validity to your point. He is needed much more where he is. “Okay, fine. But call me when you hear the results.” 

You nod. “I will, thank you.” 

He hangs up, leaving you in the silence of the emergency room ward in a bed surrounded by a curtain. The waiting is long, leaving you with only your phone to occupy you. You watch some of the tailend of the big villain fight. Luckily, the damage was limited to just one of the skyscrapers due to all the heroes that rushed onto the scene. You catch sight of some familiar faces, of this echo of green lightning and immediately jump to thoughts about Midoriya. How was he doing? You hope he’s doing alright. He’s supposed to come over tonight, so perhaps you can ask him how he’s doing then. That is, if you’re able to be released from the hospital in time. 

You’re about to take a quick nap before you hear the doors to the emergency room fly open. At first, you assume it’s a patient since you are, after all, in the emergency wing. But then someone is exclaiming, “Mr. Deku, please calm down! If you just tell me who you’re looking for, I can tell you where they are. Please don’t disturb the other patients!” 

Deku’s name feels like a bolt of electricity running through you as you push yourself up to your forearms, trying hard not to apply pressure to your ankle as your eyes train themselves on the edge of the drawn privacy curtain. 

Suddenly, Midoriya appears, wide and imploring eyes that immediately zero in on you with laser sharp focus. 

“Midoriya!” you exclaim. “What-?” 

“Are you okay?” he asks, quickly walking over to stand next to you. Without warning, he takes your face in his hands. Eyes search your face, likely searching for any signs of anything physically or emotionally out of the ordinary. “What happened? Where did this happen? Who took you here? Did you drive here yourself?” 

“Midoriya,” you say carefully, firmly, watching the way he closes his mouth to let him speak. “I’m okay. I just hurt my ankle at the agency. H-How did you know I was here?” 

He sighs, releasing his hold on your face. But he moves down to your hand. “Kirishima told me. And… it’s like with anything I do. My body moved on its own and suddenly I was running here.” 

You frown up at him. “But weren’t you in the middle of a villain fight? You just left?” 

His thumb is rubbing your hand. He shrugs. “We had a lot of help. The damage was at a minimum and things were wrapping up anyways.” 

You look down, still lost. “But you love finishing up cases. You love reassuring people and always needing to make sure that other people are okay.”

His movement ceases, a time of silence he takes to kneel next to your bed. “Hey, look at me,” he says softly. You, helpless, look at him. “I know I was really bad at expressing this back when we were together. But I need you to know that you’re part of those people too. Not just that, but you’re the person I want to reassure the most and the person I need to make sure is the most okay. I’m sorry if you were thrown off by my arrival.” 

“No, not at all,” you reassure quickly, tightening your hold on his hand. “I was surprised, but in a good way.” 

He brightens at that, straightening up and kissing your forehead. “Okay. And I’m glad to see that you’re okay. Are they going to release you soon?” 

You nod. “I think so. I got an x-ray, so a doctor will be giving me the report soon. They just want to make sure that nothing is broken.” 

Midoriya brings your hand to his chest. “Can I wait here with you?” 

You give him a private smile. “I’d like that.” 

So Midoriya sits on the bed with you. Neither of you talk about his confession or what it means for the both of you. You just sit and joke around like no time has passed. He’ll occasionally fuss over your ankle, but it doesn’t last long. The doctor comes around and confirms no broken bones. He follows it up with strict orders to rest for the next four to six weeks before allowing you to leave. 

The doctor comments about how nice it is for your boyfriend to take time off from heroing to see you off. You smile, hold Midoriya’s hand, and try to sort through the butterflies in your stomach. 

.

Four to six weeks later, you take the subway to Midoriya’s neighborhood. His house is a place you’ve been to once, solely for work purposes so you still have the address on your phone. To be honest, you’re not even sure if Midoriya is home in the middle of the day. It’s Sunday, his new day off (or so he’s told you), so you imagine that he’s likely home resting. You hope so anyways. 

Well, only one way to find out. You knock on the door with one hand, using the other to balance the tray of breads and desserts you’ve just picked up from that expensive bakery in the city. If he isn’t home, you might just have to leave it on the front steps… 

The door swings open, revealing Midoriya in his casual attire of jeans and a shirt that says SUNDAY on the front.

You make it a point not to stare at the shirt in favor of looking at Midoriya’s frantic look. “Hi,” you greet cheerfully, holding up the box of pastries. “I wanted to bring you something.” 

“Baby, what are you doing?” he asks, dragging you in by the waist. “You just got out of the hospital, you shouldn’t be walking right now!” He’s pouting cutely. He’s been more generous with his touches and nicknames since your return to the hospital, and it’s put you on a hopeful high where maybe… perhaps… he’s down to go out and give this another shot. 

“I’m fine, Izuku,” you say mindlessly, not trying to fight your way out of his hold. You just hold up that box of pastries. “I was on strict house arrest orders from my boss and got daily visits from a certain someone so not only am I very well-rested, I am antsy. I’m not allowed back at work so it’s only right that I get a little bit of exercise. And I know how much you love this bakery and… are you okay?” 

You stop because Midoriya is looking at you with that soft smile on his face - the same kind of smile he’d wear before telling you something important. 

“No, it’s nothing,” Midoriya brushes off. He just takes the box from you and rests it on the table near his door. “You just called me Izuku.” 

A little bit of your cheerful disposition from before vaporizes. “Oh. Um, yes… I did.” You gaze up at him. You were speaking a little too freely. Even though you and Midoriya are in a really good spot, there are still some things that haven’t been firmly established yet. Like, for example, what the specific label of your relationship was. “Is that too much? It sort of just slipped out, I’m sorry…” 

“No, don’t apologize,” he says hastily, wrapping his arms back around you. “I guess with what happened between us and your trip to the hospital… things have just been feeling different.” 

“They have!” you say, a little relieved. So his question wasn’t for disappointment, it was just curiosity. Again, you’ve underestimated his kindness and his love for you. But you refuse to back down again. “I… actually came here for another reason.” 

His gaze is still trained on you. 

You keep your head up. “I’m here to ask you out.” 

Midoriya tilts his head, not fully understanding. “You wanna get lunch?”

“No, no, I meant… like, I want to go out with you. Date you. Try being your girlfriend again.” 

His eyes widen, bringing you closer to him. “Are you serious? You… you want to try dating? You… believe in me now?” 

His words from Todoroki’s party flash in your mind: I just want to be with you.

You nod. “I really believe in the things you’ve been doing to balance your life out more. I know you’re doing those things for yourself, and seeing you make the choice to take a day off or seeing me at the hospital made me happy. It makes me want to try being with you again, knowing that we’ve grown enough to put in our best effort.” 

Midoriya smiles at that, big and bright as he cups your cheeks. “I promise you that I’ll never make you regret this.” And you, filled with so much love and hope for this, kiss him. He kisses you back, firm, simultaneously scooping you up in his arms. 

You gasp out against his mouth, that shock turning into a fit of giggle. “Izuku, what are you doing?” 

“I’m protecting your ankle!” he points out playfully. “Want to come down?” 

You pretend to contemplate. He’s lifting you up so easily. “Hmm, actually no. Maybe I’ll just stay here and let you lead the way.” 

He leans up towards you, signaling what he wants next. You indulge him easily, leaning down halfway to press your forehead against his. He closes his eyes, breathes you in. “I definitely intend to,” he says.

#mha x reader #bnha x reader #midoriya x reader #izuku x reader #mha writing #bnha writing #mha smut #bnha smut #mha fluff #bnha fluff #midoriya imagine #midoriya fluff #midoriya smut #midoriya izuku fluff #midoriya izuku smut #traci writes for mha

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Insectiride

Debut: Mario Party 6

Mario and friends get up to all sorts of shenanigans! Many of these are dangerous shenanigans, and I would prefer not to get involved with them. If I were to fall in lava or be hit by a barrage of hammers thrown by a turtle, I would Die! I lament this fact, but I am no scrimblo. However, some of the antics are good safe fun, and that includes the act of racing in funny bug-shaped vehicles! I wish I could do that in real life!

Though there is a snail among these insects, for the sake of simplicity, I will call all these creatures Bugs. I usually reserve that term for arthropods, but I don't feel like saying "creepy-crawlies" a bunch of times in this post like some kind of Talking Flower. So Bugs. There are some people who'd call a snail a bug without even a disclaimer! Can you imagine that?

Players begin Insectiride by choosing their vehicle out of the four unique options! I think I played this minigame once and I THINK I used the grasshopper. I think it still might be my favorite! I'm sorry to this snail, but I don't like it much. It looks like pizza, and I like pizza a lot- I regularly observe #pizzafriday- but it's just not the sort of thing I'd like a snail's skin to remind me of.

Each of these bugs has its own control scheme! The player on the ladybug must press the indicated button ten times quickly to make it crawl forward a bit. The player on the grasshopper must press a sequence of various buttons to make it hop forward a few times. The player on the stag beetle must press each indicated button that appears one at a time, each press making it push along a bit. And finally, the player on the snail must press A when its body extends fully to make it pull the shell along behind.

When playing this with humans, there is probably no one Best Bug to reliably choose, since human reaction time must be taken into account. If playing against ambitious robots, however, there is absolutely an imbalance! In tool-assisted speedruns, Grasshopper is the winner, followed by Ladybug, Stag Beetle, and poor Snail in last...

Mario Party 6 is a Koopa Kid Game! And there is official art of him riding the funny ladybug mechanism! I'm glad he got to have fun here. We all know he isn't having fun where he is now... in the Purgatory Zone... poor kid. Oh well! That's life!

Those were the only four bug vehicles present in Insectiride, but in Mario Party 3's Ridiculous Relay, there was another! Way before all the rest! Here we have a Skeeter-inspired contraption, allowing the operator to maneuver across the surface of the water! I think this would be the main mode of transportation in Wet-Dry World, for those who are not already Skeeters. Between being a mecharthropod and having a strange control scheme that must be displayed to the player, I would not at all be surprised if this was an inspiration for Insectiride!

Now don't think you're getting out of this post without some real Bug Facts! Humans, of course, are much too large to ride on a bug. To be small enough to ride a bug, you would have to be a bug yourself. And some bugs do indeed do this! This is phoresy, the interaction in which one animal will latch onto another animal for the purpose of travel. Usually, the hitchhiker will be a tiny arachnid such as a mite (including ticks), or my favorite arachnid, a pseudoscorpion!

Phoresy is EXTREMELY funny to me. A teensy little critter will just grab onto the leg of a fly or something, and away they will go! Hang on tight! This is a type of symbiosis known as commensalism, where one organism (in this case, the one hanging on) benefits, while the other (the host) is largely unaffected. Humans riding horses is another example of phoresy! A human can be like a mite sometimes. Ok, see you later! *grabs onto a hoverfly's leg and flies away*

#insectiride #mario party 6 #ridiculous relay #mario party 3 #mario #mario party #mod chikako #phoresy

[ronancexists]

Chaggie/Starmoth Week of Firsts

These will also be posted on my AO3 account which is the same as my Tumblr username, ronancexists :) Day 1: First Meet

Charlie had thought it to be like any other Extermination Day. She watched the portal to Heaven close from her bedroom window, set off fireworks to indicate the Extermination was officially over, and tucked some basic medical supplies into the many pockets of her red suit while the countdown on the clock tower in Pentagram City reset itself.

She politely declined Razzle and Dazzle’s offer to help her in scouring the city, searching for sinners who had been injured during the Extermination. She rarely found anybody alive, but she continued going out there, year after year. And those she did find still alive, they never actually accepted her assistance.

Despite the fact that they didn’t want her help, they were still her people, and she knew somewhere, deep inside all of them, were people who cared, who were kind, who wanted to accept her help, but wouldn’t because they were too prideful or too ashamed.

Whatever the case was, Charlie wanted to do this. She was tired of seeing sinners perish due to the Exorcists that came down to “cleanse” Hell in order to deal with the realm’s overpopulation problem.

Charlie knew there had to be another way, a more humane way, to deal with the overpopulation of Hell. She had an idea, but she didn’t exactly have a lot of support when it came to said idea. Her own father didn’t believe in her, her mother had disappeared almost four years ago and hadn’t returned any of Charlie’s calls or responded to any of her messages, and anybody she tried to explain it to laughed in her face and told her it was never going to work and that she should quit while she was ahead.

But she wasn’t going to let any of that stop her. This idea she had, a hotel to redeem sinners, was something she was passionate about and something she believed in with every fiber of her being. There were still a lot of kinks she had to work out in terms of making the hotel a reality, but Charlie was nothing if not determined. She’d open the hotel, recruit sinners to stay and work there, and they would be redeemed to Heaven, where everyone would live happily ever after.

Charlie was brought of her thoughts when she heard someone groaning. She looked around the street she had been walking on, confused as to where that noise could have come from. All the people around her were occupied with trying to find their family members or friends, stealing, picking fights for territory, all the usual things.

She heard it again, and this time, Charlie focused on that noise and that noise alone. She walked further down the street, pausing when she noticed a darkened alleyway. She cautiously entered the alleyway, only to throw it out the window when she saw a figure propped up against the dumpster.

Charlie raced over, a hand hovering over her mouth as she gasped in surprise at the woman, who by the looks of it was about to pass out until Charlie had approached. She was squinting up at Charlie through a singular eye as the Princess approached her.

Charlie hastily crouched down on the brimstone in front of her, digging through her pocket until she found a roll of gauze.

The woman stared at Charlie in apprehension, bracing herself against the dumpster she was leaning against as Charlie reached for her face.

Charlie wrapped the gauze around the woman’s head and empty eye socket, pulling her hands away the instant she was done so as not to frighten her anymore than she already was.

A fuzzy feeling spread through Charlie as the white-haired woman stared at her in surprise before she gave her a grateful, albeit hesitant and small, smile. Charlie tucked her hair behind her ear self-consciously, looking back at the woman with her own, slightly flustered, smile.

“Thank you,” the woman said, still looking at Charlie, with an expression the Princess couldn’t quite read.

“Of course! I’m so sorry this happened to you,” Charlie replied, a saddened expression gracing her face as she studied the woman.

“It’s…it was my fault, really.”

Charlie shook her head viciously. “Don’t say that! This is absolutely not your fault. Nobody deserves this, no matter what they’ve done in their previous life.”

The woman bit her lip and went to shift positions, only to cry out when the motion caused pain to shoot up and down her back from the rubbing of her wounds between the material of her dress and the surface of the dumpster.

“Oh my gosh! I didn’t realize you were hurt elsewhere! Here, let me help you,” Charlie said, leaning down to wrap an arm around the woman’s waist, assisting her to her feet and holding onto her waist to support her, seeing as she was hurt and could barely stand on her own. She then noticed the woman was shivering, and without a thought, shrugged off her suit jacket and draped it across the other woman’s shoulders, amusement sparkling in her eyes as the article of clothing practically swallowed the shorter woman whole. “What else did they do to you?”

The two of them were now making their way down the street, the other woman glaring at any sinner who dared to look at them despite being as injured as she was. It made her feel better, less exposed, to the world of Hell and its denizens. Charlie’s jacket was also helping with that, and she fought the urge to press her nose against it and take in a deeper whiff of Charlie’s pleasant apple scent that was radiating warmth and comfort and safety.

“They, uhh, well, they wanted to make sure I couldn’t run from them,” she replied.

Charlie growled, a sound that surprised both women, and she unconsciously tightened the hold she had on the mysterious woman’s waist. “I’m really sorry they did that. They aren’t normally that cruel. I’m surprised you’re still alive, if I’m being honest.”

She let out a humorless chuckle. “I am too. Guess they thought I’d die quickly with the injuries. I didn’t count on anyone finding me, and I suppose they didn’t either.”

Charlie hummed in acknowledgement. “That makes a lot of sense, actually. I certainly wouldn’t have found you if I hadn’t heard you making noise.”

“Well, I’m glad you did.”

Charlie did her best to ignore the blush rising to her cheeks. She had just found this woman, terribly injured, and she was already making her feel butterflies? No, Charlie refused. Now was a very bad time for her to be developing a crush, thank you very much. Plus, she didn’t even know her name! Wait, what? “Ohhhhhhh, I’m so so so sorry! I didn’t even think to ask what your name was! I was so worried about your injuries I forgot to ask the most basic question ever! I promise I’m not usually this forgetful, I just—”

“It’s fine, really,” the woman interrupted, trying to placate the demon who looked so crushed at the idea of having forgotten to ask her name. “It’s Vaggie. My name is Vaggie.”

A blinding smile overcame Charlie’s face. “It’s nice to meet you, Vaggie, despite the circumstances. I’ve never heard a name like that. It’s pretty.”

“It’s nice to meet you too, Charlie. Thanks again, for helping me. I know a lot of people down here would have just left me there to die,” Vaggie answered with a light blush, though that quickly gave way to her wincing in pain and discomfort with every step they took.

“You don’t have to thank me. You’re actually the first person to accept my help. I come out here after every Extermination, and nobody ever wants to take me up on my offer. I try to do what I can, but I guess when you’re the Princess of Hell, people sort of resent you for being excluded from the Exterminations.”

Vaggie blinked. And blinked again. And again. “...you’re—you’re the—you’re Lucifer’s daughter?!”

Charlie shrugged, a sheepish expression on her face. “Ummm, surprise…?”

Vaggie shook her head in disbelief, instantly regretting the decision as it worsened the steady aching in her head. “I can’t believe the Princess of Hell is helping me.”

“I’m helping a fellow citizen of Pentagram City who needs it. That’s all I want to do. I want to help my people, and this is one of the only ways I know how,” Charlie revealed, looking down at Vaggie nervously. She wanted to impress Vaggie, despite having just met the woman.

“I think that’s real noble of you, Charlie,” Vaggie said, picking her head up to meet the blonde’s gaze head on. Her heart was fluttering like a butterfly in her chest and her stomach felt like it was in knots, and she liked the feeling of Charlie’s arm around her waist and the warmth that seeped from her palm into her own skin. She did her best to shove those feelings deep down inside.

Charlie had just saved her, and from the looks of it, she’d be staying with the demon for an indefinite amount of time based on her injuries. Vaggie had time to get to know her. For now, she was just going to focus on her recovery. Everything else could be figured out later.

“Thank you. Nobody really has faith in me or what I want to do. I can tell you more about it later, if you want. For now, I’d like to welcome you to my humble abode,” Charlie announced, gesturing to the building that was resting atop the hill.

“It’s a palace,” Vaggie said in awe, only to wonder why she was acting surprised in the first place if she already knew Charlie was the Princess of Hell.

“Yeah,” Charlie said, scratching the back of her neck with her unoccupied hand rather abashedly. “I know it’s a lot. It can even be a lot for me, at times. You don’t have to worry about running into my dad, considering all he does is stay in his room all day, everyday. He’s been a wreck and in a slump ever since my mom left a couple of years ago. It was hard, for both of us, but he practically gave up on everything when she left. On being the King of Hell, on running his businesses, on living. Even on me.”

Vaggie took note of the way Charlie spoke about her dad, a mix of resentment, sadness, and fear, most likely for his livelihood.

“Sorry, I tend to ramble a lot. Feel free to stop me whenever it gets to be too much.”

“It’s ok, I like the rambling. It’s cute.”

Vaggie squeezed her eye shut as she wondered what possessed her to say such a thing. Especially to Charlie, the literal Princess and someone she had met not that long ago. And by shutting her eye and mentally berating herself, she missed the pleased smile and red flush Charlie was sporting.

“So, umm, this is my home!” Charlie squeaked out when she managed to regain some sort of motor function. “I’ll give you a tour later. I want to check on your wounds, make sure there’s no infection or anything of the sort.”

“Yeah, ok,” Vaggie agreed, allowing Charlie to take the lead seeing as she had no fucking clue about anything. All she knew was that the pain was becoming harder and harder to breathe through, and it was getting harder and harder to keep her eye open.

“Woah,” Charlie said as Vaggie unexpectedly began leaning heavily into her side. She looked over at her, and seeing that Vaggie was struggling to keep herself awake, Charlie scooped Vaggie up and began carrying her down the hall bridal style.

They reached Charlie’s bedroom a few short moments later, and Charlie burst into the room, startling Razzle and Dazzle, who had been napping on the bottom of her bed. The two goats went over to greet Charlie, only to stop in their tracks at the sight of the battered woman in Charlie’s arms.

Exchanging nods with one another, they set off. Dazzle grabbed a bowl of warm water mixed with soap and the first aid kit from the bathroom while Razzle searched for some washcloths to use for Vaggie’s wounds, along with spare towels to place on the bed so Charlie’s sheets wouldn’t get dirty.

“Thanks, boys,” Charlie said as they approached with the supplies. “Vaggie, I’m gonna set you down now,” the blonde warned once Razzle and Dazzle had finished placing the towels down.

“Mmhmm,” Vaggie murmured, whimpering and trying to clutch onto Charlie as the other woman set her down.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Charlie whispered. “I need to take your clothes off to get to your back. Is that ok?”

Vaggie gave a jerky nod, so Charlie reached forward and made quick work of disposing Vaggie of her own suit jacket and the dress, blushing when she realized Vaggie was now sporting nothing but a tiny pair of shorts, socks, and a bra. She shook her head to rid herself of those thoughts. Now is not the time, Charlie, she scolded herself.

Charlie finally got a good look at Vaggie’s back, and the anger from before came back even stronger. She could clearly see where the Exorcists had dug their blades into Vaggie’s back by the two large, vertical, symmetrical gashes. She couldn’t spot any blood, which was a good sign. What she could spot, however, was a lot of red, slightly inflamed skin, which wasn’t so good. “Ok, umm, I’m going to need to clean these and it’s probably going to hurt. I can give you something to numb the area, but it’s going to take a bit to set in.”

Vaggie sucked in a deep breath, groaning when that made the muscles in her back shift and made what felt like fire shoot through her body. “Do what you need to do. Just, make it quick.”

“Alright.”

Charlie took a couple of breaths to steady her slightly shaky hands. She’s seen a lot of things in Hell, but somehow, this was more gruesome than all of those combined. She gently rubbed some numbing cream around Vaggie’s back, apologizing and murmuring words of comfort with every pained noise that escaped Vaggie. She wiped her hands off with a towel and waited for a few minutes to give it some time to set in. Once that was done, she dunked a washcloth into the combination of soap and water, wringing it out as best she could. Before she could think too much about it, Charlie brought it to the scar on the left and began cleaning.

“Fuck!” Vaggie screamed, voice muffled due to the fact her face was buried in a mountain of pillows, fists clenching the sheets to keep herself from grabbing Charlie and begging her to stop, stars dancing in front of her eyes as she fought the urge to pass out right there on the spot.

“I’m sorry,” Charlie said, eyes laser-focused on the task at hand so she could get it done as thoroughly and quickly as possible. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

Vaggie hated this. She hated herself for getting caught by Lute. She hated Lute for doing this for her. She hated Adam for standing by and doing nothing. She hated how weak and vulnerable she was right now. She hated that she was in the place she had been fighting against for so long. She hated that she was almost going to start crying in front of a complete stranger. In front of a demon.

And not just any demon.

The Princess of Hell.

Daughter of Lilith and Lucifer.

The two most hated beings in Heaven.

Though it was mainly Lucifer. After all, he had been an Angel. He had been one of them.

He was used as an example to keep all other Angels in line. To keep them from going against Heaven, to keep them from questioning.

Yet Vaggie, despite all the warnings and all the teachings, had.

She had questioned.

She had hesitated.

And she ended up exactly like Lucifer.

Fallen.

She no longer had a place in Heaven.

These thoughts, combined with the sheer agony wracking her body with everything Charlie was doing, to try and help her, only made her pain feel worse.

Because Charlie was a demon.

She was the heir to the throne.

She should be the worst of them all.

But she wasn’t.

She was sweet. Polite. Kind.

She was kinder to Vaggie than anybody in Heaven had ever been.

Due to the fact that Vaggie was an Exorcist, she never got much of a chance to explore Heaven, and in turn, meet other people that resided in Heaven. Only the Exorcists were allowed to know about the Exterminations, which meant most of the time, they were kept separate lest somebody find out about their training.

When they did have a chance to interact with the other citizens of Heaven, it was never something Vaggie was interested in. She already had trouble fitting in with her fellow Exorcists, so she didn’t really bother trying to fit in with the rest of Heaven.

The guilt, the shame, that she wasn’t supposed to feel about being an Exterminator, made her feel like she wasn’t worthy of hanging out with Angels. Like she wasn’t worthy of being in Heaven.

Nobody ever tried to reach out to Vaggie either, so after a while, she began keeping to herself. She slept, she woke, she trained, she ate, she went home, she showered, she slept, then did it all again the next day, and the next, and the next, and the next, all the while feeling like she was an outcast.

Now, she actually was an outcast. And the idea that she was no longer an Angel, no longer worthy of Heaven, stung, much deeper than Vaggie was willing to admit at the moment.

Because if she wasn’t worthy of Heaven, then what was the point of her?

“I’m almost done. You’re doing really good, Vaggie. Just a little while longer and you’ll be good to rest for the night,” Charlie said, having moved on from cleaning with the soap and water washcloth to applying a healing salve to the wounds. That didn’t take too long, which meant she could get to work on covering them up with some non-stick gauze and medical tape.

“What’s with the goats?” Vaggie asked, her voice raspy from misuse.

“That’s Razzle and Dazzle. I’ve had them since I was a kid. We’ve been inseparable ever since. They’re a part of our family,” Charlie explained.

Hearing their names, the two goats flew over to Charlie’s side, and when she waved her hand at them, they moved up the side of the bed until Vaggie could see them.

“Ummm, hi?”

Razzle looked at Dazzle, and Dazzle shrugged at his brother. They looked at Vaggie with slightly narrowed eyes, as if they were unsure of whether or not they could trust her.

“It’s, uhhh, nice to meet you guys, I guess.”

Charlie giggled at how awkward Vaggie was being around the two. “They don’t bite.”

“I dunno, I just, I’ve never really been around animals,” Vaggie muttered.

Charlie frowned. She couldn’t even begin to fathom how she’d survive without either of them by her side.

Sensing her rising distress, Razzle and Dazzle went back over to Charlie, Razzle headbutting her affectionately while Dazzle nuzzled himself under her arm. She grinned at them, pressing a couple kisses each to the tops of their heads.

“So, am I good?”

Charlie jumped in surprise, blushing at Vaggie’s small smirk. “Yes, yeah, totally! I’m all done.”

Vaggie slowly lifted herself up off the bed, groaning with every movement of her back. When she finally managed to sit herself up, legs dangling off the bed, she looked over at Charlie, who had clearly been fighting against the urge to help Vaggie sit herself up if her hands hovering in mid-air were any indication. “Thank you, again, Charlie. Really, I can’t thank you enough for all this.”

Charlie blushed, waving off Vaggie’s gratitude. “It’s nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. Not to me,” Vaggie argued, her singular white eye locking with Charlie’s two brilliant red eyes.

Razzle and Dazzle looked between the two of them, then at each other, then between the two of them, wondering who was going to be the first to break the tension simmering in the air.

The answer was Vaggie’s stomach.

Charlie giggled again, hand covering her mouth as her eyes widened in surprise at herself even as she continued giggling.

Vaggie smiled even as she crossed her arms over her stomach self-consciously, belatedly realizing she wasn’t wearing anything on her upper body except for her gray bra. “Uhhh, Charlie?”

“Hmmm?”

“You wouldn’t happen to have a shirt or something I could borrow, do you?”

Charlie looked at Vaggie in confusion, eyes traveling down her body, swallowing thickly at how well the slate-gray bra suited Vaggie. Realizing she was staring, she snapped her eyes back up to Vaggie’s face, breathing a quiet sigh of relief as Vaggie’s attention wasn’t on her, but on Razzle and Dazzle, who she was petting with a look of awe.

That fuzzy feeling washed over Charlie again, making her dizzy and breathless and her heart flip and her mouth dry and her stomach tie itself up in knots. She watched with a fond, soft smile as the boys flew around Vaggie in circles, headbutting her and bleating at her.

“What are they saying?” Vaggie inquired, looking at Charlie with an expression so earnest and childlike Charlie wanted nothing more than to hug her and never let go.

Instead, she cleared her throat and answered Vaggie’s question. “They want to know if they can help you with anything.”

Vaggie’s stomach growled again, making Vaggie blush and Charlie sway as she stood up.

“Right!” she squeaked out. “I’m gonna gayyyago! Goooo grab you a shirt! Out of the closet! Yes siree, that’s where I’ll be!”

“Ok, thanks,” Vaggie said, watching in poorly hidden amusement as Charlie kept tripping over her feet as she raced over to her closet. “Is she always like this?”

Razzle and Dazzle both looked at her with raised eyebrows and tilted heads. What do you think?, they were asking without any actual words.

“Got it,” Vaggie said to herself, taking the opportunity to look around the room.

The bed itself was massive and took up a good chunk of the room, stacked with more pillows and blankets than one person could ever need. Curtains were draped across either side to give a modicum of privacy, though they were tied back at the moment.

The side of the bed Vaggie was on had a nightstand, filled to the brim with little knickknacks, including a rubber duck with a white tophat and vest, and three photos. One was of a very little, abundantly excited Charlie as she hugged Razzle and Dazzle, who didn’t look to be much smaller than they currently were. Another was of Charlie at her birthday party, surrounded by what Vaggie vaguely recognized were all of the Sins. The last was of Charlie, who looked to be around the age she was now, situated between a man and a woman, clearly her parents by how much Vaggie could identify Charlie in both of them.

So that’s Lucifer and Lilith, Vaggie thought, chuckling to herself as she realized how short he was in comparison to both Lilith and Charlie. He had the same skin tone as Charlie, sported the same two red circles on his face, and emanated the same excitement and passion Charlie possessed just through his large, sharp-toothed smile.

Lilith gave off a much more regal and demonic vibe than Lucifer. She wasn’t smiling so much as she was smirking, the crown atop her head mimicking the shape of her horns. Charlie inherited those same black lips, and despite both Lucifer and Lilith having blonde hair, Vaggie suspected it came from Lilith. She could tell because both Lilith and Charlie had multiple lighter streaks of blonde with the regular blonde, and Lucifer had streaks, but he only had one streak of lighter blonde at the front.

Vaggie finally tore her gaze away, humming as she studied the rest of the room. There wasn’t much else. A few more pictures of Charlie throughout her childhood were scattered on the walls, a dresser and vanity mirror across from the bed. On the same side of the room as the nightstand was the door Charlie disappeared into, meaning that was her closet. A few feet down was another door that Vaggie suspected was the bathroom.

The entire room was in different shades of red, violet, and pink. And everything, from the floor to the furniture to the ceiling, had some sort of emblem on it. The most common patterns she could spot were apples, snakes, and ducks. An odd combination, but Vaggie had seen weirder.

“I’ve got it!” Charlie proclaimed as she finally emerged from the closet. It hadn’t taken her long to find the shirt she had in mind at all, but she’d needed some time to cool the fuck down after what had happened. Mainly, her blatant staring from Vaggie’s delectable throat, her sharp collarbones, the tops of her breasts, her nipples poking through the fabric of the bra, all the way down to the vast, smooth expanse of her stomach. She frantically fought the blush that was forming at the image that was now imprinted in her mind, thrusting the shirt out in Vaggie’s direction. “Here ya go! One shirt, as promised!”

Vaggie slowly rose to her feet, grabbing the shirt from Charlie’s outstretched hand. She put it on carefully, every move she made aggravating her injuries further. She bit her lip to stifle her groans of pain, dropping her arms to her sides in relief once she’d managed to get the shirt over her head. She tugged on the hem to pull it outwards, tilting her head at the little red spots that decorated the black shirt. “Apples?”

Charlie smiled sheepishly at Vaggie, tucking her hair behind her ear. “It’s kind of a family thing.”

Vaggie snorted when she realized what Charlie meant.

“Sooooo, now that we’ve got that out of the way, would you care for some food? Something to drink? A painkiller?”

“Is all of the above an option?”

“Sure thing. Wait here, I’ll be back in a jiff,” Charlie instructed, jogging out of the room and into the hall, leaving Vaggie with Razzle and Dazzle.

Vaggie took a step, only to stumble as soon as she did so, thanking Razzle and Dazzle breathlessly as they caught her, Razzle on her left and Dazzle on her right. “Thank you. Do you mind helping me to the bathroom? “I want to—I want to look at my eye—where it used…” she trailed off, swallowing past the lump in her throat.

Vaggie couldn’t bring herself to finish her sentence. Luckily for her, the two goat demons didn’t need any more of an explanation. They assisted her to the bathroom, and once Vaggie had settled in there, they exited and shut the door behind them.

She looked at herself in the mirror. Clenching her teeth, she reached up and unwrapped the gauze Charlie had delicately applied. She let it fall off and into the sink, knuckles white from how hard she was gripping the edges of the counter as she stared at herself.

Vaggie didn’t know what she was expecting, but an empty eye socket, a black void, was somehow worse. It meant her eye was really gone, that there was no hope of her ever going back to the way she was.

Despite the rising anger, the sadness bubbling up inside of her, the fear that was festering from being in the very place she’d been warned about and fighting against, she refused to let the dam break. She closed her eye, took deep, slow breaths, and exhaled until the tension finally began to seep.

Once she had calmed herself down, she turned the water on in the sink and let it warm up a bit before carefully washing her face to get rid of the dirt and grime, dabbing it clean with the hand towel before wrapping her eye—where her eye used to be back up with the gauze. She then washed her hands, and rummaged through the cabinets for a brush. It didn’t take long for her to neaten her hair back up, and when that was done, she slowly made her way over the door, leaning against it for support as she opened it.

“There you are! I was worried the soup was going to get cold with how long you were taking in there,” Charlie teased as she walked over to Vaggie, offering her support to the woman, which she accepted with a grateful nod.

There was a tray being balanced between Razzle and Dazzle, filled with two bowls of soup, two glasses of water, silverware, napkins, and painkillers. Charlie helped Vaggie get settled on the bed, then clambered on in next to her, thanking the boys as they placed the try between the two of them.

“Thank you,” Vaggie said quietly, hand trembling as she lifted her first spoonful of soup to her mouth.

“I’m going to make it my personal mission to get you to stop thanking me, but for now, you’re welcome,” Charlie said, watching Vaggie as she ate her own soup to ensure she didn’t need any help. Despite how injured she was, she seemed to be doing alright as she could be, which made Charlie feel a bit better about everything. “What do you say we have a movie night after we’re done? Movies and ice cream with friends always makes things better. At least it does in my opinion.”

Vaggie blinked confusedly. “Friends?”

Charlie nodded, tucking her hair behind her ear self-consciously. “I mean, unless you don’t want to be. I’m sorry for assuming, I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable or anything.”

“No, I, uhh, it’s fine, really. I’d like to. Be friends, I mean.”

Charlie grinned a wide grin. “Awesome! So, what kind of movies do you like? I like all kinds, but especially musicals! The songs are always so fun to sing along to and the plots are—"

Vaggie felt herself becoming more and more relaxed as Charlie babbled about musicals and which ones were her favorites. And as she watched Charlie, a warm, fuzzy feeling swept through her.

Friends, she thought to herself. Yeah, I think I can do that.

Thank you for reading! P.S.: here's the AO3 link

#chaggiefirsts #starmothfirsts #chaggie #vaggie x charlie #charlie x vaggie #hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #vaggie #charlie hazbin hotel #vaggie hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel charlie #hazbin hotel vaggie

[katy-l-wood]

Delete your Threads account. You know what Meta as a company has done, you know the kind of person Mark Zuckerberg is. You've lived through Gamergate, the elections, covid, the fucking lot of it, and yet you're still willingly making an account on Threads. How can you possibly justify that?

Second ask: Scratch that, I hadn't read your most recent posts. Sorry for being so rude.

Third ask: "Still going to keep an eye on it" For what exactly? For it not to be as bad as it is? For it to get even worse before you decide it is wrong? You know who Mark Zuckerberg is. You know what Facebook is. Be up front: you don't actually care or stand for anything, you're only afraid of losing business. Have some dignity.

So you decided to be rude as fuck, "apologize," and then come back and be more rude?

I was incredibly clear in that post of why I am going to keep an eye on Threads, despite the concerns: Twitter was a valuable source of live news, especially during natural disasters, and Threads is the first potentially viable replacement for that. IDK if you actually follow me, but if you do you'll know I do a lot of work around natural disaster communication. Twitter was invaluable as a communication source during natural disasters. Full stop. It is not up for debate. But hey, if you want a source with more authority than a random tumblr blog, here, have a nice shiny research paper:

Mind you, that was written in 2010 and the importance of Twitter as a communications tool during natural disasters has only increased since then. There is no other tool out there, no other website--news or otherwise, that can provide such granular, specific updates when shit hits the fan as Twitter did. The only better, quicker source of information I have found during natural disasters is listening to actual radio chatter from the departments involved in whatever problem, and that can be very tricky to do if you don't know where to look or have the right equipment. There is no other site where I can go specifically follow so many of my local fire departments, my local emergency services, my local National Weather System stations, and get live pushed updates from them every single time they post.

When Twitter DDOSed itself last week and put a limit on the amount of tweets people could view and forced people to be logged in to view anything at all, the effect was immediate and BAD. People suddenly couldn't view things like missing person alerts, or weather alerts. I had people messaging me because they were trying to check the National Weather System autoalerts for their area on Twitter due to being caught in a sudden storm, but they couldn't get on to check.

Love it or hate it, Twitter had an immense amount of value and it got that value--at least in the case of natural disaster communication--because the stubborn ass government decided it was big enough to be trusted with official lines of information. Very, very few other social media sites have ever had that trust from the government. Look at how they banned TikTok on all government devices. But they DO trust Facebook, and Instagram, and Meta. Which means their chances of trusting Threads and migrating over there when Twitter finally takes its last breath are ASTRONOMICALLY higher than expecting them to go anywhere else.

We can debate the privacy and moral issues of the Metaverse and those involved until the cows come home, but it does not change the fact that if my mountain is on fire I'm gonna get information about where that fire is from wherever the fuck I can. I'm not going to wait around for it to maybe show up in a "live" updates news article from CNN from some reporter half a continent away in New York who doesn't know anything about where I live and gets the roads wrong because they just don't know. I'm going to go to the website full of my neighbors and local firefighters and see what's happening right that second.

Do we need to fix the privacy and moral issues? Yes. But we can't throw the baby out with the bathwater either. Not using Threads or any other Meta product isn't the answer here. Using them with extreme caution and only for very specific needs, for the time being, is. Long term, we need to be focusing on privacy based legislation that would finally put these companies in their place. But until then, again, I'm going to keep following my local fire departments wherever they go.

P.S.: If you're going to keep the shitty attitude, fuck right off and unfollow+block. You're not wanted here.

#Threads #I was honestly going to make this post anyway due to how some people are tagging the original post #So here #I could honestly debate this all day #lol #But I have shit to do today and right now that is breakfast #Natural Disaster Communication #Twitter #Death of Twitter

[useless-catalanfacts]

New unclassified documents show Spain's espionage against Catalan independentists and how Spain's government, police and media worked together to publish fake information to attack Catalan independentists for years

For the last two months, there situation with the political espionage against Catalans, false accusations of all kinds of things against pro-independence politicians and activists, as well as right-wing demonstrations with Spanish supremacist hate speech, Spanish right-wing (though not only) politicians saying once again that Catalans are terrorist to gain votes, etc. have been escalating once again.

I had not made any post about all of that because I am simply too tired of the same thing happening over and over again and the same discussions happening all the time. This blog would be boringly repetitive if I commented on all the cases of diffamations, fear-mongering about inexistent supposed Catalan terrorists, the negotiations for a fake amnesty written so that they can keep as many people in jail as possible, and every new attack against Catalan people's right to use the Catalan language in the Catalan-speaking territories. It's the same old same old that doesn't stop happening in Spain. But I will give an update about what has been proven lately (and which had been known for a long time, but now can't be denied).

It has been known for a long time that the Spanish military intelligence service (CNI), with permission from the Spanish Supreme Court, has been using the Israeli espionage programme Pegasus to illegally spy on dozens of Catalan pro-independence journalists, activists, lawyers, politicians, and their relatives and friends for years. This goes against the human rights of the people who had their personal communications spied on and also against all the independence movement, because nobody is safe and everyone is susceptible of being spied on only for their political ideas.

Now, some of the official documents of the CNI have been declassified, so we know for sure that this espionage was happening, but other documents have not yet been declassified. Catalan politicians are asking the CNI to release the rest of these documents. The answer has been that they will not declassify them because it would "generate a risk and a grave threat for the life and integrity of the sources and collaborators of the CNI". Taking into account how in the last few years there has been many cases of infiltrated Spanish police in the Catalan social movements, including police who were infiltrated and entering long-term romantic relationships with Catalan activists (mostly Catalan women but some men too) and having sexual relations with others while lying to them about their identity, this statement can be understood to accept that there are many more people infiltrated in the movement.

But what have we seen in the documents that were released? That, as expected, the Spanish Government and Police between 2012 and 2016 used fake proof as excuses to spy on Catalans and tarnish their reputation on the press. As it has been released, the Spanish police compiled fake events with made-up proofs about Catalan independentist politicians, then they sent these fake news to the Minister of Interior of the Spanish Government, Jorge Fernández Díaz, who sent them to the Spanish media to be published as manufactured scandals on the front pages. This way, the Spanish media has spent years publishing fake information with the purpose of attacking the reputation and spreading fake ideas about Catalan independentists, including accusing many innocents of corruption, tax evasion, and personal family problems. All of these false accusations were widely talked about in Spanish media and became huge scandals, but when they were proven to be fake, the same media that published it would not include the news that these people had been declared innocents. Other ministers of the Spanish government like María Dolores de Cospedal and the president of Spain Mariano Rajoy were aware of it, and other ministries contributed to sending cherry-picked or false information to the Ministry of Interior for this scheme. All of this, of course, was paid for with public money coming from our taxes.

Nobody is surprised. This is just another day in Spain. The current Spanish Government has continued the espionage with Pegasus.

#actualitat #catalunya #catalonia #spain #european union #espionage #freedom of thought #human rights #minorities #catalan #independence #national minorities #minority rights #coses de la terra #catalan independence

[maxphilippa]

Nickel and Balloon's arc and why you may be wrong about it, and why you are wrong about Suitcase and Nickel as well.

Nickel didn't trust Balloon because Balloon was a dick on s1 (something that the fandom forgets so fucking much), and of course he wouldn't trust Balloon being a part of the alliance either since Baseball (Nickel's best friend) and Suitcase (Nickel's ally/Baseball's closest friend) were part of it. "But Nickel didn't care about Suitcase-" he did, Adam himself did say he did care for her, but he strongly lacks emotional intelligence to truly get her. So of course, he didn't want to risk it, even if he does believe that Balloon wants to change, he doesn't want Suitcase to get involved with the guy.

Although Nickel doesn't want Balloon near and is an asshole towards the guy, I think that all of you kind of also forget that at one point on s2, Nickel did say that he thought that Balloon wanting to change was something good, but that he still didn't want to be associated with the guy. Which is, yes, shitty on his behalf, but it makes sense character wise. It's a case of "it's great that you want to be a better person, but i don't want to be near you even so", which is something most people felt at one point of their life.

Adding to this behaviour of his, again, it wasn't just because "Nickel is a dick without excuses", protecting his loved ones (his alliance) is. Kind of his whole thing. You know. He cares about them but sucks at showing it (this includes how he treated Baseball, looking at you all), he has the thought that if he's on control of a situation, no one will get hurt. He sucks at communication. Hell, it's even said on the series, he is afraid of change and also about accountability. ACCOUNTABILITY.

So yes, the way he treated Balloon isn't justified, even Nickel says it himself, but he has his reasons as to why he acted like that. But I think that you guys also need to remember some more important stuff as well. Nickel wasn't like this because he fully wanted to, but his behaviour towards Balloon was also constantly justified by Baseball.

And so here's the main question that troubles everybody so fucking much it's stupid.

"Why did Nickel change his mind on Balloon on s3 like that? It doesn't make sense"

Listen.

The reason as to why Nickel actually gave himself a chance to know Balloon properly is because of two very important factors. So I know that some of you might not be familiar with the official II comics, but the first reason is in one of the comics actually.

Especifically on the Letters Comic.

The plot of the comic is Balloon writing letters to those who he wronged/had a bad relationship with, and this includes pretty much all of the S1 cast (excluding the ones that are still on S2). And guess what, Nickel gets a letter as well.

There isn't a canon outcome as to what Nickel did with the letter. We don't know if he threw it away or took a look at it. But to me, I think that he did took a look at it. I will explain why later on in this post.

The second reason as to why Nickel's behaviour with Balloon changed on S3 was because, Baseball wasn't there to try to justify Nickel's hatred towards Balloon. In fact, what he got instead was Box, and we know that Box is like, Nickel's best friend on s3. What Box does is basically telling Nickel to get his shit together, stop holding onto stupid grudges and do it for the team.

And he does! And mind you, that was on the first episode of season 3! He decided to put away his petty feelings so the team could work, which pretty much already tells you that meanwhile early s3 Nickel has as much snark as S2 Nickel does, he actually recognizes when it's time to play on the game and when it's time to be petty. He's more of an nuisance towards Balloon on the first ep all things considered, but it seems that unlike S2, Balloon has grown a lot of confidence as well, and isn't sad at Nickel's comments, but rather calls him out on them. And even IF Nickel didn't exactly like to side with Balloon, as the eps went by, despite Box was the main reason as to why they were hanging out, Nickel was actually experiencing Balloon's change. He didn't want to be involved on s2 because BB told him that his distaste was justified (and that ended up messing everything for the Grand Alliance), but now he's "forced" to accept and know the guy because Box told him it was the best for the team. On early s3 they tease eachother, yes, but their relationship seems to be better than before.

As well, it wasn't out of nowhere either way, since Balloon does imply that both Nickel and him hanged around just to mess with Yinyang back at the Hotel.

That's my main reason as to why I think that Nickel DID read the letter in fact, but still had very complicated feelings towards Balloon, because in his mind, to him, Balloon was the reason as to why Suitcase, someone who Nickel really got attached to (even if you can't believe it), "betrayed" him. But we know that's not true. But at the end of the day they do end up hanging around well.

"But Max, why did they end up having a fall again? Aren't they supposed to be healthy?"

First of all there is a reason, second of all, oh my god conflict won't fucking kill you. You see. Nickel SUCKS at communication. He can't let out his feelings as much as he would like to do so, because he's scared of getting hurt and such. So yes, Nickel and Balloon were good friends there, but the down fall was necessary for them in order to ACTUALLY be a healthy friendship. The problem is that Nickel doesn't get that he fucked up a lot more than he thought and that he is the problem.

He still thinks that Suitcase left his side because of Balloon and of course that hurts- but he feels so bad about the way he treated Suitcase as well, even if he's not fully aware of why he feels like that. So that's why the conflict HAD to exist. You can't just expect them to be okay like nothing without talking about S2 properly, it doesn't work like that. Yes, they both care about eachother, but they STILL had to talk about it.

Now, on the yet, most controversial scene when it comes to Nickel's arc: Clover's therapy.

Some people say that Nickel didn't have to just be talked like that and that they expected more, but dare I say, that's exactly what he needed. To talk properly about his feelings. It's like you guys didn't catch up on that. Nickel's thing is being overprotective over those he loves, and seeing the things that might harm said loved ones or himself as threats that he needs to get rid off in order to be okay, and that he is afraid of change. Nickel knew he messed things up, but he still kept on thinking that Balloon was the one that made Suitcase betray him, when that's not really true.

He needed the talk to realize that it was truly his fault. Please take note at the way he looks to the side once he realizes it. It wasn't just a recent thought, it was always there, but he was scared of it coming true. Clover's talk made him open up properly about it and Clover also says it, "but don't you want to?" and then he says "mhm, maybe", but he really does want to, which is why he changes so much on Ep 16.

So before you say that Nickel didn't regret what he did and that he only did because of Clover: how can you be so wrong about something.

And, oh.

Oh, episode 16.

It treated them so well.

What Nickel says here is that he was scared of falling in Balloon's tricks, he was scared of being manipulated. Again. It wasn't out of nowhere. The way he treated Balloon WASN'T out of nowhere.

Is it justified? No. Does II or Nickel himself ever say that it is? No. The series as a whole is telling you that it was awful of him, characters do call out Nickel on his shit behaviour (even if you think they don't, they do, calling out isn't always strong words, sometimes calling out acts as feedback. as pointing things out. of course he also gets called out in the other way on the series, but PLEASE don't say that he didn't get called out because of his actions, he quite literally died because of them), Nickel HIMSELF recognizes that he was awful to Balloon and he is okay with the possibility of Balloon not wanting to forgive him either way.

But they ended up talking things out in the end. They ended up okay, because Balloon can genuinely see that Nickel wants to change. The walls he put are gone. He can see how genuine the guy wants to be.

"But Balloon shouldn't forgive Nickel, not after all the pain he caused to him"

Listen. Both of them commited mistakes. Balloon recognizes that he wasn't a good person back then and wanted to change things. Nickel finally got that and Nickel also showed Balloon that he does mean well. People that had complicated relationships CAN work things out, crazy I know, and I'm saying this as someone who had beef with their now best friend over similar stuff. We apologized and now we're close. It happens.

Balloon really cares about Nickel. And Nickel really cares about Balloon.

And Nickel is okay with Balloon winning because that's his friend now. Nickel changed for the good. And it makes sese character wise.

Nickel regrets what he did to Suitcase and Balloon as a whole. And Balloon and him are best friends now.

So, no, Balloon and Nickel aren't a toxic relationship, much less a problematic ship given all of the circumnstances, and saying that they are is missing on the whole arc they went through. They were complicated and they both had their reasons at the end of the day. No, Nickel wasn't purposefully an asshole to Suitcase, he was seeking to protect her, but ruined everything on the process. Yes, Baseball and Nickel needed to be separated in order to grow because they weren't healthy to eachother. Yes, the Nickel and Balloon arc had to go as long as it did in order for it to end properly, and it's not even done yet, Baseball and Suitcase are still waiting. Yes, Nickel meant good with the things he did. No, it doesn't justify any of the things he did. And, finally, the Grand Alliance arc is well executed, just because it's complicated it doesn't mean it's bad.

And those are statements that can coexist.

Thank you for reading. :]

#inanimate insanity #ii #inanimate insanity invitational #ii 2 #ii 3 #ii analysis #inanimate insanity nickel #inanimate insanity balloon #inanimate insanity baseball #inanimate insanity suitcase #inanimate insanity clover #inanimate insanity box #inanimate insanity grand alliance #ii nickel #ii balloon #ii suitcase #ii baseball #ii box #ii clover #ii grand alliance #max overanalyzes characters #max overanalyzes lore #long reads #i did this because i got tired at seeing people calling nickloon a proship EVEN after s3 #but also because of how y'all treat the characters

[habizuh-studios]

me gushing about tgcf for... idek-

Haha, don't ask why i'm making this post when I'm basically dead, BUT- TGCF is honestly was got me into the danmei fandom. Two of my friends were gushing about it so in order to not feel left out i watched the donghua and it was the BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE not only because the donghua was actually so beautifully animated and the story was so captivating, but also because i watched it in dub and got to see howard wang. Which was great, obviously. unfortunately, i spoiled a LOT. And i mean A LOT of stuff after finishing season 1. I spoiled the ghost city arc, the 800 year wait, and some of Xie Lian's trauma before even starting season 2. And i didn't even have to wait that long for it- some people were waiting over 2 years!! which is crazy to me. The character designs are so intricate and beautiful in all mediums, including the audio drama (which is actually my favorite art out of all of 'em), which HOW?!??!?!? ITS AN AUDIO DRAMA?!?!??! i ended up buying all the books, despite spoiling myself a TON. And i don't regret it at all- i even convinced myself (not really myself, but my dead bank account) to buy the special edition of TGCF!! The official art is gorgeous, the pop-up is gorgeous, the books\ mark is gorgeous, and- despite all the spoilers, after i got used to the writing style it was honestly A BLAST. I finished all the books in less than 2 weeks. I stayed up late reading them- and my favorite part was finishing a book so i could jump to the next one. And my greatest surprise was i didn't even spoil ALL of it to myself! The instigator of the war between xianle and yong'an (if ykyk, hint: family) was such a surprise to me i had to put the book down for a good second before reading it again! xie lians occasional sassiness was honestly really in character, but still a surprise. I have seen some who didnt like tgcf because of the character arcs and hualian- which is fine, but as long as you have the right expectations going into the book, you will not be disappointed. Xie Lian is honestly my favorite. Sue me for being basic, but i love him. Even before knowing all the trauma, i loved him. (Followed closely are Ruoye and Feng Xin, so i guess you can guess my type which i immediately attach to, haha) anyway, in case you weren't looking for my life story, then here: watch the donghua of tgcf, then read all the books, no spoilers. Trust me. Spoilers ruined some of the emotional moments for me yet i still felt empathy for all the characters, which is kind of hard to do. (it hurts, dream on, there is no banquet that does not come to an end). then consume the fan content. Literally all of it. We are the most blessed fandom in history. You may look up some things to expect for tgcf, because i believe the theme is actually quite different from mxtx's other works! I still love wwx tho ;) ----- PS: I also love the parallels. I'll talk about one since this post is so long already, but here- I absolutely love the quotes. A lot of times, popular quotes are remembered when Hua Cheng is saying them, but when you read the books, you realize he's just parroting what xie lian has said... im biased and this isnt for everyone, and obviously his tone and context are wayy different + he has great quotes on his own- but I think it shows his love for him. or maybe i just love Xie Lian, haha.

#tgcf #mxtx tgcf #xie lian #tian guan ci fu #no spoilers #i think #i needed to gush about tgcf so here we are #my rambles are great i swear #defintely something worth reading here #english is not my first language so uhhh pls dont attack me #did i mention i love tgcf? #read the fanfics. #you will not be dissapointed #parallels #ruoye is the best ribbon #yes he is #yes he is!! who is a good ribbon?? #you are #ruoye!!

[1shirt2shirtredshirtdeadshirt]

Jim Kirk’s Bisexuality: A Thesis

I mean, how could anyone ever think this. 

How could we ever possibly arrive at or believe, that James T. Kirk, swaggering space captain, might be a bisexual character.

Like where are the receipts though? It’s such a massive 56 year old mystery?

You'd think if that were the case, there’d be some kind of proof by now. Like, oh I don't know, this:

or this:

Or outfits like this:

Or all that looking at Spock constantly like this:

Or other substantiated canonical evidence like, you know, allusions right from the creator of the characters and the show. He knows what’s good, he made them, right? He’ll set the record (not so) straight.

Like that time Gene Roddenberry invented a whole new Vulcan word just to thoroughly describe Kirk and Spock’s unique and close relationship as (from TMP novel):

Or upon seeing Spock return to the bridge for the first time in TMP novel, how Jim Kirk mentally describes his relationship with Spock as follows:

I mean, sure. Y’know. Just bro things. Being mind bonded and whatnot. 

Or things posted on official Star Trek social media accounts like this:

Or y’know, returning to the book by creator of Star Trek Gene Roddenberry (TMP) where they interview Kirk about his sexuality and he says, referring to rumours about him and Spock:

So OK. Let’s just.

Let us just give pause here.

Take a moment, my child. 

This is Gene Roddenberry, the creator of Star Trek, writing as James T. Kirk, who is describing to the world his sexuality:

People.

I don’t ask for much in this life.

Can somebody please.

Please.

PLEASE EXPLAIN, how they got a 100% straight interpretation out of that.

WHAT PART OF THAT was not James T. Kirk getting up on a table and screaming to the world(s):

Jim: “HELLO UNIVERSE, JUST AN FYI, I’M DTF WITH ANYONE. Like A,NY,ONE. IT’S COOL WITH ME. JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT. I’M GONNA GET DOWN FROM HERE NOW.”

Spock: Jim I am standing right here. The table display was unnecessary. (I also didn’t have to go ham on ‘em all like that. Damn. But I ain’t sorry.  Thank you for coming to my Ted X Talk about ficitonal space queers and for reading my Jim Kirk Bi-Ble. IDIC. Don’t forget to try the plomeek soup-)

#spirk #Kirk/Spock #kirkxspock #kirk x spock #star trek tos #octrekmeta #space husbands #this is what unmedicated ADHD gets you #my thesis on kirk/spock ladies and gentlefolks #spock #jim kirk #The Jim Kirk Bi-Ble. I cannot believe I've done this. #lgbt #bisexual #LGBTQIA #lgbt+ #star trek #IDIC

[suzuran777]

Lamento stageplay news + visuals

Just one more day left until the live performancs of the Lamento stageplay start! The stageplay was of course already announced last year, but as they finally started tweeting the countdown pictures, I wanted to write a blog post about the visuals and information they've released so far, comparing some of the stageplay visuals to the official game illustrations!

Similar to the DRAMAtical Murder (DMMd) and sweet pool stageplays, the Lamento stageplay will also have different routes for each main character, Asato, Bardo and Rai. I'm going to assume that the first half of the stageplay will be some kind of common route, while the second half focuses on the route of each different character. Something that is new is that this time the stageplay will have "musical elements" as well, so I'm not sure if I should call it a stageplay or a musical (I'm just using "stageplay" this time as the official account also seems to call it that). Even though in the game Konoe's song is just a melody, the actors did tweet about singing, so I am curious what they will do!

Ohyama Yoh, who composed 19 of the 37 songs of the Lamento original soundtrack also tweeted that there will be 11 new songs (+ addictional background music). I think it's super cool that they're working together with the original composer again to create new songs for the stageplay! I remember the DMMd stageplay also had a new song by GOATBED, which they even performed live a few times at the end of the show. The previous stageplays were about two hours long, but this time they mentioned it will be at least 3 hours, which makes sense because Lamento is a lot longer than sweet pool and DMMd.

I'm really impressed by the costumes and wigs so far, the ears and tails also look so fluffy... I really wonder what they will look like in motion and what the battle scenes will look like. Most of the visuals of the individual characters they've released so far seem to be based on the in-game sprites, but what I found interesting is that Rai's, Asato's and Bardo's pictures seem to have the same pose as the Kotobukiya figurines! You can see the comparison below, the pictures of the figurines are from the Kotobukiya official website.

Another new visual which was released quite recently seems to resemble another official illustration, which I've seen in the artbooks before and which was also the cover of magazine B's Log, specifically the December 2006 issue. Some of the details are a bit different, for example Konoe is not holding Leaks' mask in his hand anymore, and this time they added Shui to the illustration as well, but some other things such as Bardo's pose make it quite obvious this picture was their inspiration. The way Shui and Leaks stand next to each other kind of reminds me of the Rhapsody to the Past drama CD as well? One thing I noticed is that they're not really trying to hide Leaks' face this time, which was actually quite a big reveal in the game.

Next are some of the other illustrations they recently showed us during a short livestream which was available on Twitter for a limited time. Luckily they also posted the pictures on the official account! These won't be sold as merchandise, but they're given away as a bonus for those who attend all three versions of the show. I guess one thing I never noticed before is how little promotional/extra art Bardo got back then, so in this case they had to use one of his in-game CGs. For the other characters they mostly seem to use some of the extra/promotional art. Anyway, you can see a comparison below! I think it's fun to see how they re-created the pictures with the actors.

The last picture they recently showed during the Twitter livestream uses the cover illustration of the official world guidebook! Unfortunately no Bardo in this one either. This is one of the items they are selling as merchandise, it seems to be some kind of booklet (they call it a "pamphlet" but it's 32 pages long). I really wish they would sell the merchandise online, but for now it's only accessible for those who have a ticket and who buy it inside the venue. Maybe if they have any extra stock they might sell it online?

Update: The stageplay will also be livestreamed on DMM TV! The ticket to watch all three routes is 10000 yen (about 66 USD, which is cheaper than the in-person tickets at least!) which also gives you some special bonus videos to watch. First is Bardo's route on February 24th, followed by Asato's and Rai's routes on February 25th. Be aware that it is region locked and not all VPNs work, so unfortunately I can't help much with that! For any further updates you can check the official Twitter account!

Cast list: Konoe: Maejima Yoh Rai: Kato Sho Asato: Hiraga Yusei Bardo: Seto Yusuke Razel: Kimisawa Yuki Kaltz: Okamoto Yuki Verg: Iwata Tomoki Froud: Muramatsu Koki Kagari: Asaba Maya Tokino: Fukuzawa Taiga Firi: Kita Tsutomu Kil: Yoshun Sakamoto Ul: Arai Yuya Shui: Osaki Natsuki Leaks: Matsui Yuho

#lamento #nitrochiral #nitro chiral #blvn #blvninfo #visualnovel

[kyouka-supremacy]

hi! I've been going through your blog and I love all your analyses, we may not agree on everything but it's definitely fun to read and eye-opening and I'm grateful to see someone looking into bsd with such depth and whipping out whole essays <3

On that note. There was a fan theory I read when dead apple came out (for the life of me I cannot remember the source, if anyone knows please tell me) that Atsushi's healing ability applies only to the injuries caused by other abilities, and he can't heal from non-ability things like guns etc. The op cited the scene in ch18 where Atsushi is caught in a shooting, and healed by Yosano in the next chapter.

This theory came about because 1) in dead apple, Shibusawa says that the tiger is "the antithesis to all abilities" and "the ability everyone desires." Then we never get the reason why Shibusawa was so obsessed with Atsushi. And 2) in ch7 after sskk's first encounter where Atsushi's leg is severed, Yosano takes a look and thinks "there's no scar, it's more of a restoration than a regeneration."

The gist of this is that I like the idea of Atsushi not being 100% invulnerable. And, if his is indeed the antithesis to all abilities then I'm excited to see what that entails; it implies that in the face of a time travel ability, he would be able to turn back time (if he knew how to use it ofc, cough Fukuchi fight cough). If the book is tied to an ability, Atsushi may be able to undo changes done by the book? he may also nullify Dazai's nullification? idk this opens many doors. Anyway! this is my fave bsd theory. I think, with how Akutagwa's ability sort of completes Atsushi's, and with the whole Rashomon being able to eat space, maybe with this development it will also "eat" a portion of the timeline, as in, undoing the events that occurred? is this making any sense? sorry for the rant I'd love to hear what u think, thanks <3

Hi!! Thank you for your kind words, they mean a lot!!! Could this be the post you were looking for? Funny enough, it was at the very top of my reblogs queue. Indeed, it's an extremely insightful theory!!!

So, there's a lot to unpack here. Ever since I've read that theory, I've found Yosano's thoughts regarding Atsushi's healing from chapter 7 extremely interesting. It's curious, because the nuance gets completely lost in the official English translation:

(Raws → fantranslation → official Yen Press English translation). As you can see, the meaning gets totally lost in the last one. It almost makes me wonder if it was an intentional change due to the fact that the plot point won't be brought up in the manga in ten years (much like opting out of adapting the Steinbeck Guild uprising in the anime, since that plot point has been apparently discarded), but I hope it's not the case.

All taken into account, I don't think it's a stretch to say Atsushi's ability, due to his quality of denying other abilities, can only quickly regenerate as far as other abilities wounds go. When I was reading the manga I thought it was only plot conveniency and suspension of disbelief, but taking a closer look perhaps the pattern of wounds not caused by abilities taking longer to heal isn't concidential: it already happened with the wounds he suffered from in the orphanage, which ended up leaving scars (chapter 28), with the Guild's attack, which was of unknown nature but required Yosano's help to heal (chapter 18-19), with Twain's sniper attacks, which as the theory's Op point don't seem to have healed immediately (chapter 29). But in my opinion it's still too little instances to be able to affirm with certainty that it's not just coincidences dictated by plot convenience.

I do have a feeling there must be Something to Atsushi's ability. it can't just be tiger transformation and wounds regeneration. He's the protagonist, and leaving it at that, that's about the lamest ability of them all (sorry!! I love him still!!). I like the idea of Atsushi's ability being truly special, carrying qualities that have yet to be unfolded that make it different and somehow above the other abilities. I really think it'd be the most satisfying progression narrative wise, because so far Atsushi has gotten really little to claim for his protagonist role, being constantly overshadowed by Dazai; but he's the main character still, and it's like the story itself is waiting to reveal what makes him special. And there being something special to his ability has been, though subtly, consistently underlined: the extraordinary bounty on his head that nothing about what we know seems to explain, the fact that the Guild wanted to capture him specifically, the no further elaborated on fact that he's the key to finding the Book, Shibusawa's concern with him and, most importantly, the ability's quality of tearing through other abilities. Like, that feels very relevant; it's different from Dazai's nullification ability in the way it doesn't just temporarily nullify the other ability, but straight up denies it. I feel like in a manga that is so littered with meta commentery on literature, it'd be fitting to have an ability that denies other abilities' very existence, like moving a rubber through the page. It's certainly interesting to think about. And I like the concept of Atsushi's ability as an alternative to Dazai's nullification ability. Dazai has been feeling invulnerable so long, it would be gratifying to contemplate the existence of something that's outside of his sphere of influence, and potentially even more powerful and destructive than he is.

Again, there's already so many elements that make it impossible to ignore the uniqueness of Atsushi's ability; but even then, they're still so sparse and obscure it's really hard to take a guess on what it could really be about, or what is the reason why it's special. There's so much space for soeculations - a connection with the book, a singularity, a God-like ability just to name a few -, but in my opinion none of them have any concrete enough canon basis to leave space for theories. I think I'd rather limit myself to say it would make a lot of sense for it to be an ability superior to other abilities, since it's something that has the power to tear through abilities themselves, and I believe that such quality is also coherent with its link to the Book as another ability-originated, extremely powerful object. The ability's power to rewrite reality, if only to a smaller extent compared to the Book, may further hint to its connection to the Book / being originated from the Book / sharing origins with the Book. When the ability immediately helps Atsushi regenerate from ability induced wounds he is lowkey rewriting the story to portray a reality where Atsushi wasn't hurt, and when he tears abilities apart it is lowkey rewriting a story where the ability didn't exist. In that, I believe it wouldn't be too far-fetched to draw similarities with the way the Book works. This also made me realize that where it's confirmed that the Book's altered reality to the point of changing the ada's memories so they remembered committing the terrorism crimes, I'm pretty sure that we never got the confirmation the same happened to Atsushi. Then, what if the book can't have effect on Atsushi due to his ability, but only on the reality surrounding him.

So yeah. I'm curious to see how this will unwrap, although I have my doubts I'll still be around when it does (man, the manga is going to take another six months just to catch up with the last anime episode, so you know). I really really like the concept of Atsushi's ability developing in a way that will make it more functional in a rematch against Fukuchi. I've been advocating for a sskk vs. Fukuchi rematch for years at this point, and it seems like we will indeed be getting it; and sskk BETTER win it this time, it wouldn't make any narrative sense to be otherwise. But to do that they'll have to overcome their biggest disadvantage that is Shintou Amenogozen's time manipulation, so you know!! Looking forward to see a sskk that is now mature and experienced unveil new skills to their abilities.

#Sorry I know this was sent ages ago it's just. Between the con / exams / falling sick for a week I barely got time to do anything else ;;;; #But thank you for the ask!! #Love talking about Atsushi I really hope once the manga is caught up with what we already know he'll have more screentime to shine #atsushi nakajima #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd analysis #bsd theory #people asks me stuff

[nocturnal-desolation]

Hello sorry for tagging. I am very sick, my asthma is at its maximum level, my nose freezes, I have no medicine or food. I am in bad shape financially, I am a black disabled, who uses multiple medications, I pay for my food and lodging

Unfortunately I do not have all the resources to keep me safe, that is why I need your help, whatever you can contribute to me will be of great help.

Would you look at that… I have a prime example of how to spot a scam in my asks. It's not very well done, just well enough that some people might fall for it - and some have even reblogged it. You've been redirected to the Fraud Detection Unit, which will take it from here. (actually it's still just me, I'm the fraud detection unit, we have "Fachkräftemangel" in Germany, sorry, jk)

Seriously though… First of all, I'd like to address the fact that it's incredibly sad to play with people's emotions like this. You should be ashamed of yourself, but I'm sure you're not. It's the same with scams asking for help and donations for people and families in Gaza, which has come up a lot recently and is even more despicable because there are actual fundraisers going on (which are official) and these people are in a terrible situation. So to exploit that worldwide sympathy or solidarity and use the inhumane circumstances of these or other people for your scams is disgusting to the core.

But back to this particular ask and blog… The text itself makes no sense. Like, not at all. For example, a " freezing nose" is not a typical symptom of asthma. I've never had asthma, but I'm pretty sure your nose doesn't freeze up when you have asthma. What are you trying to tell me? That you got asthma in the middle of a blizzard? Sorry, I can't help you with that. "Get out of the blizzard!" is all I can tell you. And what is the "maximum level" of asthma? Is that some kind of asthma end boss? Sounds more like you need an ambulance, not money...

That's why it's important to be fluent in English if you want to pretend to be a native speaker. I can't help you there either. I can barely speak my own language, let alone English.

Some other things everyone should notice or look for when getting messages like this:

blog was created fairly recently, no consistency, just reblogged some random things (like posts from 'tumblr staff' lol - no offense) to have something on it at all + obviously otherwise empty blogs that are just begging for money or reblogging other similar posts all the time are even more suspicious

something I haven't seen before either is "Black Lives Matter" being used as bait to appeal to those involved in the movement

randomly generated usernames (what is "toosaladgarden"? I've never had a salad that was too garden, so I don't know - not too important, but in this case it doesn't help to be convincing)

no bio, no age, no country (usually not important, but in this case it is)

non-transparent fundraiser, no one knows why this exact amount of money is needed (I think it even went from $1700 to $1900 since yesterday if I saw that correctly lol) and how the supposed current donations came about (you could put any number in there)

randomly contacted

scammers often use tactics such as emotional manipulation and urgency to evoke sympathy and to prompt a quick response

lack of details, very vague in general, limited information about specific circumstances

But that made me curious and I wanted to know more. You (the scammers) were "smart" enough to use a profile picture that can't be easily traced back to the original source, I'll give you that. But that's a problem for you, because it seems to be the only picture you have of this person with this child, so you had to use it everywhere…

And that's why I was able to trace your picture back to a Twitter / X account that goes by the name "Aska" and the handle askafarao… which also engages in very, very obviously fraudulent requests for money. Every few days or weeks since August 2023, this "X" account posts nothing but new "reasons" why the money is needed. And it's quite funny how little effort they put into it, because the reasons are not creative and half of them don't even add up. But most importantly, somehow there are a couple of different email addresses for different paypal accounts with different names on them. I think we can all agree that unless you're trying to hide something, you don't need more than one name… right? Unless Paypal is going to close your accounts all the time, or you're afraid they will because they're detecting fraudulent activity, you don't need more than one account, right?

TL:DR Let's make this part short and sweet: If you get a message like this, or see a similar post, be aware that it's a scam. Don't reblog it and don't be like, "But what if it's true…" It's obviously not, and when I saw the X account, I actually had a good laugh because this account is a complete mess, even for a scammer.

#scammers #scam alert #scam warning #donation scam #scam bots #scam #fundraising #fundraiser #don't fall for it #don't reblog their posts #think about it #ask

[marshmallowprotection]

Been having a really shit time lately

Is it possible to request some post-GE Suit Saeran headcanons? (I like to explore suit and ray being separate alters from saeray sometimes because I miss them as individuals so much and want to see them grow as such)

Thank you!

Absolutely! I don't typically write them that way but I enjoy seeing the different takes on them! Just so you guys know, and I feel the need to point this out, the game never does officially confirms Saeran's mental health in terms of what he may have. We don't know if he has DID, OSDD, Bipolar, etc. So, there's no wrong way to interpret him as long as you're working to make sure whatever you're writing is done so respectfully.

Make sure to listen to people with the conditions you're writing with if you do not experience them personally, because representation is important and you do not want to demonize personality disorders or dissociative disorders. Media does that enough to people and that's harmful as it is.

We can all learn a thing or two by listening to others. I wouldn't want anyone to get things misconstrued because of the way I personally headcanon and write the characters.

When I'm writing Saeran, I write with DID in mind. I also write GE Saeran as a fusion of Ray and Suit Saeran after the events of Day 10. A lot of people get sad that I write it that way, because they feel as though those two disappear and no longer exist, within reality, they come together to create GE Saeran, or Saeray, as I lovingly call him.

Suit Saeran and Ray exist within him, because they are him, if that makes sense. Their experiences, memories, feelings, actions, all of that live on in GE Saeran. He knows them well because they were him.

Now, let me clear this up as well, the "fusion" of alters does not mean "cured". It doesn't magically make you "cured" all of a sudden. I better not see anybody spreading that kind of misinformation because that is not the case. DID will always be a part of someone with DID, it does not matter if alters have fused or not. Integration and fusion may be a goal for some systems, but it isn't for others.

It's a case by case basis.

Systems together decide what works for them, and nobody better tell them how to decide what's best for them.

Alright, now that we've cleared that up!

GE Suit Saeran is... struggling, for the lack of a better word. He told you his intention that night.

That night when he apologized for everything he ever did to you and how he wants to take accountability for it even if it takes him forever. He told himself that he would leave as best he could because it's not as if he has control over when he is fronting or not.

He wanted to minimize his contact with you as much as possible, to show you that he wants to work on himself as a person, and to heal the wounds that have been inflicted on him so that he can treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Even if you accept his apology, he doesn't accept it for himself. He can't forgive himself.

That's one of the reasons why the after ending has a huge emphasis on GE Saeran working to forgive the people who hurt him. He just... perpetuated everything that was done to him by those people on to you. He learns how to forgive them so that he can forgive himself. It helps him find peace, too. To let go of the anger and move forward in life. He'll forgive but he'll never forget or look back.

In an instance where Suit Saeran and Ray exist as themselves, he would be minimizing himself as much as possible in the beginning if he could help it. After all, he told you that he knew Ray could take better care of you than he could. Ray has his own demons to work on, as well, because you also need to talk to him about accountability and how he feels about moving forward to accept what he did.

But, the difference between him and Ray is that Ray doesn't want to hurt people… and Saeran never had a qualm with hurting someone if it protected Ray or you, later on. Ray’s heart is truly gentle, and even if he’s done wrong as well, he won't hurt you... not like Saeran is very acutely afraid of doing. He knows he doesn't want to hurt you, but he also knows that he's not in a good headspace. He won't hurt you with the intention of doing so.

But, accidentally?

He could hurt you that way.

And as he is right now, he can't stomach the thought of hurting you more than he already did. Forgiven or not by you, once again, he can't forgive himself until he confronts his demons... and his way of doing that wouldn't look as close to GE Saeran's way. It'd be messier, mixed with his exhaustion, anger, and fear. He'll get there, I know he will, but it's a long road.

What would his interactions look like with you? Well, he would make a point to step away from you in the beginning and you would know why he's doing that. Every time he's around, he makes a point of giving you space, of letting you decide what you're comfortable with and what you aren't. Sometimes, you don't mind him sticking around, in fact, many of you may say that you don't mind him around at all, but it doesn't change the fact that he wants your express consent at all times to know it's okay to be there.

He is aware of everything he's done, and he's not going to corner you. He's afraid of doing that, actually.

That makes most of his interactions with you not as direct as they might have been in the past. There's a weariness about him that doesn't go away. Even when you try to talk to him, he tries to pull away, because, in his heart, he's going to feel like you're better off without him for quite a while. You have a gentle heart and so many people can abuse that.

He doesn't want to be someone like that, he doesn't want to become someone like the people who hurt him, and he can't imagine the thought of you making yourself vulnerable to him again on the off chance he has a bad day. His awareness of what he's done and what he needs to hold himself accountable for can sometimes go over the edge.

He may end up beating himself up more than anyone else would, and I imagine that sounds familiar, but what can you do? This is a difficult road... and even if he'd hate the idea of being like Jihyun Kim, there is just no denying this aspect they share. The only difference is Saeran wanting to do better and not wallow in self-misery... but it'll take him a while to figure out how to make the best choices for himself. At the very least, he wants to try.

Outside of the guilt in pain he's carrying, what good can you expect once he's found a place of peace? What can you expect after he's confronted his demons and he feels comfortable in his relationship with you? A partner who values spending time together, that’s for sure.

Saeran is happy you love him, and he doesn’t take it for granted. As hard as it is to talk about it, his favorite thing to do with you is to make meals. Far more than Ray, he likes making sure you’ve eaten well, and it’s not just to make up for what he did. He likes seeing you enjoy a meal. He likes being able to being teased by you, to feel your hand on his face as you nudge a spoon against his lips. He likes that you can do this together and it doesn't sting... it stings less and less the more you work together to make better memories.

(It was awful, horrible, and wrong. But, he later told you that not only was it meant to hurt you, it was meant to protect you, too. He knew they drugged the food with elixir and his not letting them feed you in that moment was because of his hurt and fear. It made no sense to him at the time but later on, it clicked.)

Parallel play. You don't have to be doing the same thing to enjoy time with him, and he just likes being in the same space as you. Sometimes, his health should have the two of you doing something separately so he doesn't feel as though there are odds stacked against him. He's still learning how to exist as himself, and as much as he wants to learn more about his existence by your side, he needs time to make sense of what he likes and what he doesn't like.

He wants the space to make mistakes and to learn from them by himself, but he knows if he needs help, you'll be there to help.

I will say if you want something light-hearted, the goofiest thing about him is that despite how it may seem on the surface, he's quite gullible, and you can trick him into doing quite a few things.

Of course, you should only use this for good, like getting him to try something new for dinner. In the end, he likes it when you do that, because something is empowering about knowing that you can push his buttons and stand your ground even in Normal situations. It's not that he wants you to push him around, it's just that he wants to know you can stand as his equal.

#character analysis #ge suit saeran

[wehaveagathering]

Who Does the NHL Instagram Account Love? It's not the Flyers. A (shortish) Statistical Analysis (December 1-15, 2023)

(I don't know anything about statistics.)

Recently, as a Flyers fan, I've kind of become sick and tired of seeing the @NHL instagram account NOT post my team. Of course, every fan of any team is going to feel their team is'nt getting enough love online, but I had a feeling that I wasn't just making this up. So I counted every single post so far in the month of December – from the 1st to the 15th – and added up each time the NHL instagram posted each team.

Qualifications for what counted as a post:

It could not be the list of nightly scores or weekly power rankings.

It could not be an official game announcement. Unofficial game announcements, like Connor v Connor graphics, were allowed.

It could not be a trade or coaching change – but signings did count.

If it was a video of a play during a game, the post counted as a tally for the the team with the successful play.

Any sort of list, play-of-game compilations, or fantasy team counted. However, if a team was listed twice in a post, they could still only receive one tally. In this essay I will –

The average number of posts per team was 18.47 and the median was 17.5 out of the 591 posts I counted. It's important to note that because I didn't count other types of posts – official NHL compilation videos with different players, game announcements, scoresheets at the end of every night – that the total number of posts between now and December 1st was probably around 700. I didn't look too closely at that number.

The team with the most points was the Canucks (20-9-1), with an outstanding 39 total posts, 6.6% of the total posts and 11 tallies ahead of second place with 28. Of course, the prevalence of Quinn Hughes and Brock Boeser on league-leading stat sheets, as well as the Hughes Bowl in early December and the recent influx of Luongo posting all helped to bolster this number.

Trailing behind them in the high twenties were the Rangers (20-7-1) with 28, the Oilers (13-13-1) with 27, the Devils (15-11-1), Isles (14-7-8), and Lightning (14-12-5) with 26, and the Avalanche (18-9-2) with a measly 25. All of these teams save for the Islanders had the help of league-leading scorers on their teams, which bolstered them in the compilation-post and fantasy-team standings.

On the opposite hand, trailing in the single digits were the Montreal Canadiens (12-13-4), Seattle Kraken (10-14-7), and yes, the Philadelphia Flyers (16-10-3), with 8, 9, and 9 posts respectively. (That is 4.39% or 4.4% percent of the total posts – these three teams combined for less posts than the Canucks.) The Nashville Predators (17-13-0) and the Calgary Flames (11-14-5) barely scraped into the double digits with 10 posts to their name each. The Flyers and Flames both struggled to even get on the board, and were the last two teams without a post after 3 days, when Carter Hart made a Goalie Save of the Week compilation. The Flames got on the board after 4 days worth of posts with a Noah Hanifin assist against the Avalanche.

Generally, better teams got posted more, and worse teams got posted less, but that wasn't always the case. (Clearly – the San Jose Sharks were posted 22 times! I love you san jose ❤️) Look at the Flyers and the Predators – two teams who have been good surprises this season, but have been neglected by @ NHL. Out of the teams who have been posted the least, the Flyers and the Preds have the best standings. On 12.15.23 the Flyers were at 16-10-3 with a .603 points percentage, and the Preds were at 17-13-0 with a .567 points percentage. Despite these extremely decent and reasonable stats, and the Flyers currently sitting in a playoff spot in the Metro, both these teams were only posted 9 and 10 times in the first half of December – out of 591 posts! That seems unreasonable.

In the first half of December, the Flyers received 3 solo posts for goals from Cam York, Sean Couturier, and Tyson Foerster. The Preds received 4 solo posts for goals from Yakov Trenin, two from Filip Forsberg, and Colton Sissons.

This other one though, that according to my rules, I had to count, pissed me off. These two tiny names counted as 10% of the total December postings for these two teams.

Knowing that this was the kind of post that counted for so many of these teams, this was the kind of post that bolstered the scores of the Oilers and the Canucks and the Devils, makes it nearly all the more egregious that this was the extent that it took to acknowledge the Flyers and the Preds.

Also, I think if I counted the posts that included videos of plays made against the Flyers in the games that the Flyers won, I would go absolutely bananas, despite the fact that, FOR example, Konecny is tied for 8th in goals this season with Pastrnak and Panarin. Konecny, with 16 goals and 24 points so far this season, was posted one time, on a December 5th Play of the Night compilation post with... three Coyotes. Compare this to the two 12.2.23 solo posts celebrating a Pastrnak goal.

Clearly, there's favorites. And it has nothing to do with how well a team is playing. The Edmonton Oilers, Chicago Blackhawks, and San Jose Sharks are sittin pretty in the bottom ten teams in the league but have a combined total of 66 posts. Is it about the engagement each team gets? Maybe people don't interact with Flyers or Preds or Kraken posts as much as the other ones. Is it secretly Gary Bettman, who hates me and the Flyers personally? Does the NHL just not like the Flyers? On another topic – does the amount that these teams are posted correspond with the amount they're posted on other sites, like Twitter or Tumblr?

And this isn't even getting into how approximately half of the posts about the Ducks were about Leo Carlsson, or the Caps were just Ovechkin, or the poor Montreal Canadiens, who are being shunted to the wayside to make room for the Chicago Blackhawks and their 32nd-in-the-league standing and their 17 posts, 16 of which seem to be about Connor Bedard. I didn't record these numbers, but they sure as hell SEEMED like this was the case, and I've learned to trust my gut.

I definitely know what I want to look for and need to figure out how I want to document these stats differently in the second half of December for a more thorough analysis on the types of post each team is receiving. This has been an interesting, if frustrating experiment, and I'm looking forward to part 2. I love you Flyers and I love you hockey, and I... I don't love you, NHL. You can rot.

#nhl #hockey #flyers #philadelphia flyers #nashville predators #nhl instagram #preds #travis konecny #carter hart #filip forsberg