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gregorovitch-adler · 3 months

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What Will I Be, Without You?

John had dozed off on the sitting room sofa of his new flat, covered in his own mess. Worn-out, two-day old clothes, stinking with sweat and alcohol.

It had been a year since Sherlock's death. Well, a year and two months to be exact. John had moved out of Baker Street within two days after Sherlock had jumped off the building. He couldn't bear to live in that place anymore.

Not without being reminded of Sherlock in every single particle of that living space.

Not without thinking he saw Sherlock in public every time he stepped out of the house. Not without going through the entire line of thought and regrets.

Regrets about what could have been, if he had been honest about his feelings for Sherlock when he was alive. About how he called him a machine, hours before he committed suicide. All that.

He knew there wasn't any point in living any more, and absolutely not at Baker Street.

So he'd moved out. Having spent the time of his life with Sherlock for a year and a half, after they'd met, had made him somewhat hesitant to actually to take his own life.

That didn't mean he didn't consider that every now and then. The gun sitting on the coffee table probably had a lot of things to say.

A few hours later, the morning light from the outside hit his eyes and they fluttered open. He must have forgotten to draw the curtains last night.

His head was throbbing with pain as he got up. He winced and held his head in his hands. Must be the hangover from yesterday.

He felt disgusted and sluggish, the smell of sweat and alcohol making his nose scrunch. He turned around to drop his feet on the ground to get up slowly. To go on with yet another dreadful day.

When he looked up, a tall figure dressed in dark clothes greeted him. A man with curled hair, sea-green eyes and an impeccable dress sense. He was holding a bottle of tablets and a glass of water in his hands.

John startled and sat back as he stared at him blankly. The man looked strikingly similar to Sherlock, John thought, as he reached for the gun that he'd left on the coffee table yesterday.

"That would be hardly necessary, John," he said, holding held out the bottle and the glass to John. The voice was unmistakeably Sherlock's. John would know. "You should take these."

John's jaw dropped. He felt some dizziness, and he didn't remember the next few moments or probably hours.

John's eyes opened again and he found himself lying on the sitting room floor, covered with a blanket and a pillow beneath his head. He winced as Sherlock sprinkled some cold water on his face.

"You okay?" Sherlock asked, placing a hand on John's left shoulder.

"You... aren't you..." John was suddenly bolt upright on the floor as he stuttered. "You were dead! I saw it happen, I was right there! How... Sherlock, what the hell!"

Sherlock gazed at him for a bit and lowered his eyes. His lips were compressed too. "I'm sorry, John. Forgive me."

John opened and closed his left hand trying to process all the things he was feeling. His hangover wasn't helping. He massaged his forehead with his hand.

Sherlock Holmes was alive.

John still remembered how he wished Sherlock would stop being dead when he was performing his burial.

Not just that day. John kept hoping (begging) for it to happen every single day since then. He thought about nothing but that only yesterday.

Just another day of his live since Sherlock died.

John knew how impossible it was, but he kept asking Sherlock - who resided in his mind, heart, soul, every part of his body - for the same thing: to stop being dead. And Sherlock was alive after all!

His whole body lightened up from within with joy.

But he dimmed again almost as quickly as he'd lightened up.

A whole year of his life had passed by, grieving for nothing. Everything he went through, all alone, was in vain.

John hissed and grabbed his head with both of his hands.

"Please take this. You're clearly not okay and -"

"You don't bloody get to tell me what to do!" he shouted, aggravating his headache some more. "You leave, make me grieve for more than a year pointlessly, I'm left here feeling like a bloody idiot, and you break into my flat pretending none of that happened? Now you're sorry? Perfect!"

John hissed in pain and snatched the bottle of pills out of Sherlock's hand.

John swallowed a pill and drank the glass of water that Sherlock had placed on the coffee table, before he had sat back defensively.

He got up from the floor and went straight to the bathroom to brush his teeth and take a shower, leaving Sherlock behind in the sitting room on his own.

He spent the whole shower cursing Sherlock mostly in his mind (and a bit out loud) and going through a plethora of conflicting emotions. The whole time they spent together, after all they'd both been through, did that mean nothing to Sherlock? Not as much as it meant to John, apparently.

He scoffed bitterly as he continued to wash himself. Sherlock had probably gone to an adventure. Maybe the case was unusually complicated this time. Or, who knows, he probably solved a lot more than just one case during his time away.

Why didn't he let John accompany him then? Was he really that useless to Sherlock? At least he wasn't dead now.

No. Screw that.

John got out of the bathroom and slammed the door of the attached bedroom. He was getting dressed as quickly as he could, planning to head to the kitchen to make himself some tea and breakfast, all while ignoring the hell out of Sherlock. Probably this would make him leave John's flat.

He opened the door to go to the kitchen.

"John." Sherlock called from behind as he followed him. "John? John, listen to me!" his volume was getting higher.

John was not going to respond. He put on the kettle and looked for some eggs in the fridge.

John couldn't help wonder one thing though: why was Sherlock back now, if he thought John's presence in his life was that useless? What was the point?

Maybe Sherlock needed his expertise in his current case. Yeah, fuck that. He wouldn't even think of helping Sherlock after this.

"John, can you hear me? How long are you going to pretend I'm not here?" Sherlock's tone had become indignant. The audacity! "It's not like I'm invisible!"

John didn't even turn around. "Well, you were. For more than a year. Until yesterday." He kept his voice as cool as possible, suppressing his rage.

He took out the eggs and grabbed a pan from one of the cabinets and began to cook.

It must have been two whole minutes of silence in the kitchen while John watched the things he'd put on the stove. He served those eggs on a plate before pouring some tea in his mug.

He set the things on the kitchen table and sat down to eat, as though this was just any other day, and he was the only sign of life in that dark, lonely flat.

He could feel Sherlock's gaze on his face tangibly. Probably he was waiting for John to make eye contact with him. John shifted in his chair a bit.

Part of him wanted Sherlock to get the hell out of here. Part of him wanted the man to stay.

John sighed as he kept looking at anywhere but Sherlock in the room.

"Fine. If you're going to be like this..." he trailed off began to look here and there for his coat.

John's head snapped up. "If I'm going to be like this? Me? Sherlock you utter-"

"I did it for you," he said, looking at John in the eye with earnestness.

John scoffed as he continued to eat.

Sherlock shook his head with his brows knitted. "I'm not lying. Moriarty had appointed three snipers, threatening to kill three people who were the closest to me. You, Mrs Hudson, and Lestrade."

John looked up at Sherlock again with his lips parted.

"His only condition was that I jump off the building. The keycode that I'd deciphered - it was fake. He told me those three snipers could be called off only by him. And then he shot himself in the mouth."

John placed the silverware on the plate. If Sherlock was to be believed, then... Oh God.

"You tell me. What was I to do then? I could either go ahead with Mycroft's plan that involved faking my death, or I could die for real and never come back. Did you really want the latter, John?"

"Jesus, no! Sherlock, I didn't... I thought you were - I thought you'd gone on with an exciting case or something. An adventure. Without me," he dropped his voice a bit in the last sentence. His stomach gave a pang of guilt.

"Why would I do that?" he asked, with a genuine-sounding confusion in his voice.

John shrugged. "Because you thought I was useless. Maybe you didn't need me anymore."

"Don't be ridiculous," he said and drew a chair for himself, taking a seat across from John on the table. "I always need you."

John swallowed as he picked up his fork again. He wanted to reach out for Sherlock's hand. Not now. "There's some more tea in the kettle," he said instead.

Sherlock waved this off. They gazed at each other and, if John wasn't imagining, there was surely something else he could see in Sherlock's eyes apart from the obvious frustration.

Something that probably reflected John's own feelings for him.

John cleared his throat. "What happened after that? Where did you go?"

"Many parts of the world. Russia, China, and India were some of them. I was trying to dismantle his network from its root. My last location was Serbia, before I came back to London, finally. It took me unexpectedly long to get out of there..." he trailed off and swallowed as he looked away.

"Why?" John took sipped his tea some more.

"Never mind."

"Sherlock," he warned and gave him a hard stare.

Keep me in the dark again and I might actually punch you in the face.

Sherlock seemed to have read his mind, because he looked up at John and took a sharp breath. "They captured me in a confined place. Worse than an average jail. They tied me up. Whipped me, starved me to death, and if I would dare to doze off, they'd whip me some more. I had to live with the smell of my own human waste for a whole month." Sherlock bit his bottom lip.

"Jesus!" he exclaimed in a whisper. He looked down at Sherlock's slim forearms that were placed on the table. He wished to reach for them, but didn't, for some reason. His heart was on fire with anger. "How did you escape?"

"Mycroft showed up," he said briefly. "He managed to set me free. And now I'm here."

"When did you come back?" he asked, knowing nothing else to say.

"Three days ago."

"Why didn't you come here then?"

"I was in hospital the first night."

John nodded, blinking a bit with a strange, stinging sensation in the corner of his left eye.

"Then I was thinking of ways to meet you in person. Explain myself to you," he said and paused for a bit. "John, I know you've been through a lot. But I wasn't out there having fun without you either," he said in a cautious tone, sounding quite gentle.

"I know! Or I know now, at least." John swallowed and got up from his chair, his eggs forgotten on the plate. He went around the table and stopped behind Sherlock. "May I see?"

"John... I don't think-"

"Please?"

Sherlock turned around to face John. He nodded and got up from his chair to take off his suit jacket.

He unbuttoned his shirt slowly and shrugged it off, revealing his sculpted upper body and a completely battered back. Black and blue. Some blisters had appeared, too, on his lower back.

"Jesus Christ," John whispered and felt his eyes welling up. John wanted to find all of those arseholes and kill every single one of them. "You did all that for us?"

Sherlock began to put on his shirt again silently. He tucked it in his trousers. "For you, mainly," he said, in a quite tone.

John couldn't take it anymore. He placed a hand on Sherlock's shoulder, making him turn around and placed his arms around Sherlock's neck. He tried to be careful about his wounds.

Sherlock stiffened for a moment but then he relaxed as he placed his arms around John's waist.

They didn't speak for a long moment. John closed his eyes and sighed.

He turned a bit to breathe in Sherlock's perfume and his natural scent from his jawline and neck, enjoying his proximity for as long as he could.

Their arms were wrapped tight around each other and for the first time in a whole year, John felt alive again. John was living in the moment like anything.

"I'm sorry," John said, breaking the silence in the room.

"What for?"

"For assuming the worst about you," he said in Sherlock's ear, with his nose touching Sherlock's cheek. "For reacting like this when you returned."

Sherlock hummed.

"Who else knows about this?"

"Molly and my homeless network."

"Molly?" John's heart sank.

"She helped me with the plan along with Mycroft. It was only possible because Moriarty deduced the very specific people who were the most important to me. She was excluded from the list." Sherlock cleared his throat. "You were the first person I decided to meet as soon as I was discharged from the hospital after coming back to London."

John sighed in relief, feeling bad about jumping to conclusions again.

Another moment of silence fell in the room. Their breathing was synchronised.

Sherlock turned to face John, who did the same at the same instant. Their eyes locked with their noses touching.

Unsure of who initiated it but now John's mouth was on Sherlock's, and they were kissing. John placed one of his hands through Sherlock's curls and deepened the kiss as Sherlock tilted his head a bit.

They parted after some time and stopped for breath. The way Sherlock looked at him was setting John's whole being on fire with all the things he felt for Sherlock at the moment (always had).

"John," he breathed. "Since when?"

"Always. You?"

"Same." Sherlock leaned in to close the gap between them again.

John gasped with relief and kissed him back, trying to express everything he felt for Sherlock through his fervent kisses.

They found themselves moving to the sitting room. No one broke off the kiss, not until they both sank in the sofa, with John on top of Sherlock.

John moved his mouth along Sherlock's jawline and planted kisses along his neck, getting familiar with what that beautiful, long neck felt like at last.

"I always need you," Sherlock said, repeating his statement from before. "You'll never be useless to me." He grasped for John's jumper around his shoulders and held him tight.

"I see. Thank you for telling me," John said when he stopped kissing him. They looked at each other in the eye again. "I need you too. Right now."

Sherlock furrowed his brows. Then his eyes widened. "Oh."

"Please, can we...?" John trailed off, painfully aware of the tightness in his jeans now.

"John," Sherlock began, clearing his throat and shifting back on the sofa to look at him properly. "Let's not, I'm afraid."

"Oh." John shifted too and they were both sitting on the sofa now, facing each other. John cringed at what he was going to do. He was now getting soft. "Sorry. I shouldn't have -"

"It's not that," he said and took both of John's hands in his own. "You don't have to apologise."

"But what's the problem?" John wanted to know. "D'you think it's a bit too soon? I'll understand." He shrugged.

Sherlock shook his head. "There's no problem. I've never done this before with anyone," he said, gesturing between the two of them. "Never wanted to." He looked away and inhaled deeply. "And never will."

John frowned. "You don't want a... relationship, then?" (Please no.) "Still married to your work?"

"What? No, of course I want that! But not the other thing, what you wanted to do with me a moment ago."

"Oh." He looked down at the space between them.

"I've always been like that. Don't think it's personal."

John looked up at him again. Then he tried to recall the term he'd heard (or read) on the internet in passing for people like Sherlock. Asexual, probably.

Once he remembered that, everything fell in place for him.

John nodded in understanding. He stopped feeling anything negative after that. "That's okay," he said and pulled Sherlock in his arms again.

They arranged themselves a bit and John was lying on the sofa on his back, with Sherlock on top of him.

"Do you still want me?" asked Sherlock, with his face buried in John's neck.

"Of course, I do!" John pulled him closer and kissed him on his cheek. "With you gone for a whole year, dead - at least in my eyes - I was lost. Worthless. Feeling like a vegetable. A rotten one. I used to think about taking my life every other day."

"John!" Sherlock turned to look at him, alarmed.

"Why do you think I have my gun lying around, otherwise?"

"Don't do that again. Don't even think about it. Just, please," he rambled, gripping John tight around his waist.

"I won't anymore. I promise. But just saying. I'll never stop wanting you."

Sherlock kissed him on the forehead and smiled against his skin. "Neither will I."

John sighed in contentment. He could stay on the sofa all day with the love of his life.

"Let's move back in to Baker Street. I can't let you live like this. Please."

"I will. Move back in with you, I mean."

They gazed at each other, with John's heart brimming with fondness and love, and began to kiss again. Softly and slowly this time. There was no rush, after all.

They had the rest of their life to love each other as much as possible.

Tags: @helloliriels @gaylilsherlock @gaypiningshit @totallysilvergirl @lisbeth-kk @jamielovesjam @a-victorian-girl @topsyturvy-turtely @keirgreeneyes @peanitbear @inevitably-johnlocked @catlock-holmes

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jawnn-watson · 5 months

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So I remember reading this johnlock fic a really long time ago and I can't get it out of my head and I wish to read it again and I just couldn't find it

It was two chaptered fic (I think) and was an AU where John and Sherlock had met before ASIP. Basically Sherlock had this proposition for John. If John agrees to marry Sherlock (for a case of sth I don't recall), Sherlock would help John to pay for his medical school fees. John agreed and there was a paper signing scene in a courtroom. Sherlock was really distant at first but was warming up to John and their relationship deepened slowly but it had ended in a disaster of sorts owing to Sherlock's drug addiction at time.

They meet again when Mike introduced them in the lab but Sherlock had deleted John from his memories to save himself from heartbreak so he doesn't recognises John. Upon realising this John tries hard to not remind Sherlock of their past and to do a start over with Sherlock as in being his friend. That is until Sherlock asks him to be his date (?). Mycroft was there to save the day and he played a role in the fic.

Like help I just couldn't fic it and I want to re read so bad lol

#johnlock #sherlock #johnlock fanfic #fanfic search #sherlock fanfic

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fuckyeahgoodomensfanfic · 5 months

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Good Omens Fic Rec: Omens On Baker Street (Good Omens/BBC Sherlock Crossover Series)

The Ineffable Game Sherlock and John are no longer the only crime-solving disaster duo in London. After Sherlock unknowingly wrongs a demon, he finds himself with two mysterious rivals in the detective scene. For Crowley and Aziraphale, it's just a bit of fun, but they end up learning more about human nature than they bargained for. London Falling It’s time to start reconnecting. It's been a long time since John and Sherlock first came face-to-face with the supernatural. Crowley and Aziraphale now spend their days bickering in the South Downs instead of London. Life seemed to be getting back to normal... Unfortunately, 'normal' is only a relative term. Welcome Home Tulip arrives in the South Downs, and finds that starting a new life isn’t as easy as she first thought. Luckily, she now has a family to fall back on.

Length: 155,306 words (full series)

AO3 Rating: Not Rated (but basically PG13)

Best for: Pick-Me-Up, Safe in Public, Comedy

Triggers: Brief Violence

Read it here, series by WorseOmens

Personal Rant: I've been ignoring this one for months. I'm sure I'll bring it up plenty, but BBC Sherlock was my life 10 years ago. Reviewing fics on fuckyeahjohnlockfanfic was such a joy and I have so much fondness and nostalgia for that part of my past. Good Omens is the first time I've engaged in fandom at all since then. I was betrayed by Season 4, I had lost my love for fan spaces, tumblr was emptying. I moved on. But the day I finished Good Omens season two I dived headfirst back into this world. It's been nonstop every day since then for me. I started reading 2-3 fics a DAY again. I kept thinking how insane it would be to start reviewing again. But this series? Idk, I didn't think I wanted to engage with Sherlock again. I thought it'd be too weird, maybe too cringe to indulge in something I thought I "grew out" of. But since I've been working on this new review blog I thought it was time. And oh my god I can't tell you how good this felt. I feel like my Moffat induced heartbreak is starting to heal. So enough about me, let's talk about this series.

*Minor Spoilers* I'll let you guys find out for yourselves just how it happens, but let's say eventually Sherlock and John team up with Aziraphale and Crowley. The first series is set just after the Apocalypse-that-wasn't, and in Sherlock canon in between S1 and S2. The second installment is set post S4 of Sherlock. I am overwhelmed by how much I enjoyed this series. I had assumed I knew how this would go. I thought it was going to be a predictable checklist of crossover tropes. My eyes were practically rolling before I gave this a chance. I wanted to hate it, maybe to prove that I was totally over my past love of Sherlock. But its good. It's entertaining, it's surprising, it's funny, it makes sense.

This is mostly a Good Omens story. If you were never that into Sherlock you'll mostly be able to follow along fine, but I'm not sure the opposite is true. Crowley and Aziraphale are sickeningly in love, and I ate it up. Their relationship is established by the time this starts, but it's been maybe a year (?) since the Notcalypse. John and Sherlock are firmly in their canon of "I'm not his date". I can't spoil it for you, you'll have to see yourself, but how John reacts to Aziraphale just took me out. I was shocked. I had to walk around for a bit. It was unexpected, bold, I wanted to hate it and I loved it. It shouldn't have made sense! Moving on before I spoil...I just can't believe that this series took all the assumptions I had about the rapport between all of them and just chucked them out. Characterizations are all amazing, though I feel Sherlock's presence was a little quiet at times. I feel like he should have noticed more was off sooner than he does. But that can all be explained by supernatural interference so I don't really care too much. This plays with Sherlock canon in such a way that's just like, oh totally that actually makes perfect sense. And it's so smart to skip over past plot lines that it knows we're familiar with. We don't need to go over scenes we all have ingrained in our memories, let's enjoy the story happening right now. And it handles S4 so well. The thing that ruined Sherlock for a lot of people. It's not waved away, but just moved on from and brings Rosie into the second series.

I could spend days in this combined universe. I love the banter between Crowley and Aziraphale. They’re also very Gomez and Morticia here. Very secure in their relationship and madly in love. Extremely possessive Crowley, so expect some fun moments with that. Protective of each other, but also have complete trust in the other’s ability. I love their clumsy half hearted attempts at being human and that it completely goes over everyone's heads. Come on Sherlock! Cosmo and Wanda aint slick!! It's fun and silly. It's the kind of fanfic that makes your cheeks hurt from smiling too much. But it's not shallow. It has some excellent insight. Even though Sherlock and John are not the stars here, they still get their moments to shine. In the second installment there is a line about their bond being foraged not in the danger of their lives but in the quiet and gentle in-between and I wanted to cry. It was so healing for my broken Johnlock heart.

This post is much too long already. If you are a fan of both series, just do me a solid and read it. I just know you'll like it. Embrace the silly, warm your heart with the rest, and enjoy it. It's completely safe for public, but it was incredibly annoying to have to keep walking away from it. My next read will be at home, and very soon.

Read it here, series by WorseOmens

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consult-sherlockholmes · 1 year

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I am so bored I am actually considering reading some of those 'fanfictions' which were recommended to me. I hope I do not take any permanent brain or psychic damage from it, knowing you all.

#Rp #Roleplay #sherlock roleplay #johnlock roleplay #sherlock rp #rp #roleplay #bbc sherlock #sherlock #fanfic #ao3 #fanfiction #Ao3 #archive of our own #johnlock fanfic

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a-victorian-girl · 2 months

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First, the proposal...

... now, the wedding! Don't miss it! You can read it here!

(ty @gregorovitchworld for this beautiful fic and for your consent to link both works into one post! Luv u!)

@lisbeth-kk @topsyturvy-turtely @inevitably-johnlocked @safedistancefrombeingsmart @totallysilvergirl @jobooksncoffee @helloliriels @calaisreno @meetinginsamarra @pressurepoint221 @gaylilsherlock @catlock-holmes @peanitbear @toccata-i-voir @chocolate1elise @whatnext2020 @happydistraction @snonkerdoodlefizzy221b @melody7 @gaypiningshit @7-percent @zz-kennedy @with-a-ghost-mr-holmes @discordantwords @kabubsmagga @nowiamcoveredinyou @221beloved @selcouthangel @sabsi221b @khorazir @thalialurksalot @johnlockismyreligion @bluebellinbakerstreet @bluebellofbakerstreet @strawberrywinter4 @sabrina-sb-cc

#bbc sherlock #johnlock fanart #johnlock fanfic #johnlock #i am johnlocked #a-victorian-girl #the proposal #gregorovitchworld #together at last #linking works #🫂#artists on tumblr #vicky retouch

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weeesi · 2 months

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He looked down at the pretty little box. Out of the two of them, everyone believed that Sherlock was the sweet tooth by a mile. John knew on good authority that nearly half of Sherlock’s tea was sugar and the other half wanted to be.

He thumbed at the lid and oh—he’d missed it before, the tiny envelope stuck to the side with a piece of sellotape. A small, typed message slid out into his fingers.

Happy Valentine’s Day, With love and kisses, your secret admirer

“Huh.”

Read on AO3.

Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash

#johnlock fanfic #bbc sherlock #johnlock #John watson #sherlock holmes #valentines day 2024 #valentines day fanfic #valentines day fluff

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strawberrywinter4 · 1 month

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Unleash

Fandom: Sherlock (TV)

Rated: Mature

Tags: BAMF John Watson, Protective John Watson, Doctor John Watson, John Watson Loves Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock Holmes Loves John Watson, Dark Themes, Case Fic, Sherlock Holmes Whump, Hurt Sherlock Holmes, Drugs, Drugging, John Watson to the Rescue, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, First Kiss, Kissing, Rough Kissing

Sherlock touches John’s arm briefly and John’s attention goes back to him instantly. His hand grips Sherlock’s form, bringing him impossibly closer. John presses their heads together, his voice coming to a whisper. “Everything will be okay, darling. I promise. Just hang in there for me. Stay awake.” Darling was on instinct. Really, it’s the only thing that grounds John. Sherlock’s anguished eyes meet John again, though it seems like he’s struggling to do just that.

Read here on ao3.

Tags: @a-victorian-girl @jolieblack @whatnext2020 @helloliriels @colourfulwatson @totallysilvergirl @ninasnakie @thegildedbee @whodwantmeasaflatmate @with-a-ghost-mr-holmes @sherlocknjohn221b @jawnn-watson @blogstandbygo @lisbeth-kk @holmesianlove @7-percent @itsonlytext @chinike @peanitbear @mary-johnlocked @bakerstreetbe @curlyjohnlock @keirgreeneyes @ceceliajupe @ghostofnuggetspast @dw91165 @demonboycrowley

(Please let me know if you’d like to be tagged or wouldn’t like to be tagged.)

Omg, I finally finished it! Thanks to all who encouraged me with BAMF John. It meant so much🥰

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topsyturvy-turtely · 8 months

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The Noises He Makes

if you're in search of a very quick very fluff fanfic... happy to be of your service ;)

read on Ao3 or here :)

Sherlock Holmes. The emotionless machine. The unfeeling genius. The sociopathic detective.

That’s what people say, what he likes to say about himself. Truth is, he is actually quite emotional, and he articulates his emotions loudly too.

When he is excited (about a new intriguing case) he jumps and shouts for joy. When he is irritated (with people or an unsolvable case – yes, those do exist) he throws his head back and groans out of frustration.

Oh, but when I touch him (with my lips, my hands, press my body against his), he makes the most delightful noises.

In the early morning, when I let my hand slide over his shoulders, an almost inaudible hum. Whenever I hug him, a sigh so heavy as if he means to say, he wants to stay in my embrace forever. At night, when we cuddle, when I have my hand buried in his hair, or comb through it, a noise escapes from deep within him, which reminds me of a cat. A big, dangerous cat – a panther perhaps – but a cat nonetheless.

When I kiss him… Gasping, moaning, groaning, mumbling - depending on where I kiss him. If I peck his lips, a tiny inhale through the nose, as if he was surprised every time. When I suck on his lip, a content hum. When our tongues fight for dominance (I usually win), a sound that could be a chuckle or something like a sob – ah, can’t be sure, I do have my tongue in his mouth while this happens. When I kiss his neck, a gasp. This usually comes along with a grip on my hips. When I kiss his nipples, he moans. When I kiss down his happy trail, there is gasping and moaning, with a hand in my hair and my name on his lips. Oh, and when we become one, melt into each other, when I am not sure where I end and where he starts, all these sounds happen at once. Sometimes we are both so overwhelmed by the love making, by the love we feel from the other, for the other, we both end up sobbing, giggling and we hold each other until we can both tell each other ‘I love you’ again.

What I am trying to say… is that Sherlock Holmes is actually extremely sensitive, more often than you might think even sensual.

And one day, after I made him make those noises all day long, heard him say my name like it’s a miracle, a mystery and magic all at once; I asked him if he will do me the honour to marry me. What followed wasn’t any noise. It was silence. But that silence said more than any sound could ever have.

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please consider supporting me on both platforms (tumblr & ao3) with reblogs & likes/ kudos & comments. thank you so much!

tag list! (tell me if you wanna be added or removed please 💚) @justanobsessedpan @helloliriels @catlock-holmes @fluffbyday-smutbynight @inevitably-johnlocked @hisfavouritejumper @rhasima @forfucksakejohn @ohlooktheresabee @turbulenttrouble @so-youre-unattached-like-me @totallysilvergirl @peanitbear @train-mossman @loki-lock @smulderscobie @timberva @grace-in-the-wilderness @chinike @jawnn-watson @whatnext2020 @escapingthereality @missdeliadili @kettykika78 @musingsofmyown @7-percent @speedymoviesbyscience @astudyin221b @francj15 @ladylindaaa @we-r-loonies @mxster-jocale @sherlockcorner @noahspector @our-stars-graveside @jobooksncoffee @baker-street-blog @macgyvershe @myladylyssa @battledress @a-victorian-girl @dreamerofthemeadow @oetkb12 @ohnoesnotagain @mutedsilence @jawnscoffee @raenchaosandcozyadashofmurder @a-victorian-girl @lisbeth-kk

#turtely writes #johnlock #bbc sherlock #sherlock #john watson #johnlock fanfic #johnlock ficlet #happy about reblogs 🥰

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