#It's not the man-hate that's directly responsible for the transphobia!

[they-call-me-hippie]

Yeah I can tell people have lost their grasp on basic ongoing forms of oppression when they say things like "hatred of men and masculinity is one of the reasons trans women, BIPOC and Jewish men are persecuted" like what a non-sequiteur. Imagine being so ignorant of power structures in your attempt to """progressively""" defend men that you become transphobic

#Truly astounding. Your brain is empty read a book on transphobia instead. Acclimate yourself to that concept #Try moving on to misogyny next. You might learn things there! Like actual feminism! #Now for a real challenge: try out this wholly new intersection of oppressions called transmisogyny #And then Look Out To The World. See What It Has To Say About Men And The Preferred Gender To Rule #You know it would be funny how bad people have become in writing an argumentative text on here if it wasn't so sad to see #how they think writing assertively is all they need to make your point #People online will posit any observation as an immutable fact of reality when it’s just their misconceptions contributing to a flawed view #of the world #Even if it would be quickly deconstructed by actual theoretical frameworks like feminism 101 and intersectionalism and privilege theory #They don't even know they don't know. What a Dunning-Kruger effect. It's become Plato's cave in here #Anyways you might see that post out in the wild. Exciting! #Also how would that first point even apply. Literally the only ones who might fit in are transphobic women but then you might notice #It's not the man-hate that's directly responsible for the transphobia! #Now I'm not a fan of negative feminism posting more than anyone else but if I have to keep seeing that garbage you'll have to keep hearing #me insult this. The least it deserves after making me mad Online

[orkbutch]

sound like terf talking points ngl. just say you don’t think trans women are women and go :/

I'm assuming this ask is referring to this post, otherwise idk what it'd be about That post was made in response to me first noticing trans men talking about "transmisandry". An element of whats being called transmisandry is the exact experience I described in that post, and I was giving my opinion on that change in gender perception and how battling against that is pretty futile. As I said in the post, this wariness toward masculinity and cis men - I'm just going to call this 'Man Wariness' for short - is also something the vast majority of trans women have internalised. (I only say "vast majority" because I guess there could be The Exception? but really I just think All women have that wariness lmao.)

I became aware of this discussion because trans women that I follow on twitter have been pushing back on the misogyny and transmisogyny that's been expressed by the people championing the existence of transmisandry the hardest. I've been witnessing a lot of conversations trans women are having about the trans/misogyny they've experienced specifically from trans men. They (accurately imo) identify this as a threat to the integrity of feminism, particularly within transgender thought/politics, because misandry is not a real oppressive framework that exists. Pro-transmisandrists have been arguing that misandry is real and harms trans women as well, because The Man Wariness - non-men having learned to be guarded and fearful of masculinity & (what their brain associates subconsciously with) cis men - can also be directed at trans women, and results in transphobia toward those women.

The trans women disagreeing resent the framing of this as a 'misandry' issue because, of course, trans women are women. The people that hate trans women, even the ones that call them men to abuse them, don't actually see them as Men. In the eye of the transphobe, terf or GC, trans women are something else entirely, an inherently deviant third thing. Pushing back against "misandry", a supposed systemic oppressive hatred of manhood and men, does absolutely nothing to protect women from oppression. Trans women are oppressed, attacked, assaulted and abused mostly viciously and routinely by cis men. Labelling a description and discussion of Man Wariness as "TERF talking points" is just... deeply, deeply unhelpful imo. Man Wariness is just real. Thats just how a LOT of people operate in the world, trans women included. Obviously this learned wariness ends up impacting how many trans women are viewed and treated, and I understand being skeptical of me defending Man Wariness because of that. I was talking about it in the context of trans men/mascs' experiences specifically. Honestly... I don't really have helpful, thorough thoughts on how Man Wariness impacts trans women/fems and how that should be tackled. Its a bit of a wicked problem, I'm not trans fem and I haven't seen much discussion about this specifically. I assume because its a touchy subject thats kind of avoided. On the one hand, I believe deeply that trans women shouldn't need to perform/achieve a certain level of femininity in order to be safe, happy and acknowledged by society as women. On the other hand, Man Wariness is an uncontrollable response that is very deeply internalised, often directly connected to traumatic experiences, and I don't think its something that can be explored and addressed unless we can talk about it openly and frankly. Your response to this is very counter-productive imo. It just shuts down any possibility of a nuanced, open discussion. Maybe it'd be helpful if I was a terf, but I'm not lol. Which is obvious if you've known me or followed my work for any significant amount of time. Its the kind of response that shames someone for having Man Wariness, and feeling shame about an uncontrollable emotional response is toxic. Thats going to make that person feel they're irredeemably transphobic in some deeply embedded way that makes them reluctant to interact with trans women. And if theres anything that I think would break down someone's Man Wariness reaction to trans women, it would be having more familiarity with trans women because they'd pretty quickly internalise that trans women are not a threat and are women. OR of course that shame makes them feel rejected and alienated from trans friendly sphears, and they then turn toward TERF & GC sphears where they can be reassured their Man Wariness is fine, and are then vulnerable to being radicalised. But you know in my opinion no matter where that discussion went, no matter how immovable Man Wariness could be proven to be, that will NEVER invalidate that trans people have a right to safety, health, happiness and acceptance within society as the gender we know we are. That's actually just fact. These discussions are simply figuring out How that should come to be, and what our vision of a better, trans accepting society might look like.

#tw: transphobia #oops i wrote a lot of stuff at 3am again

[ametistapp]

Transphobia isn't just directly saying you hate trans people.

Transphobia is knowing their pronouns and choosen name and not even trying to respect those because you've "always known them as the other gender".

Transphobia is saying "trans woman" and "trans man" instead of just "woman" and "man", as you do for cisgender, when that information is completely irrelevant.

Transphobia is refusing to accept that if a teenager is responsible enough to decide which course they'll be taking, which will have an impact in their future work life, they are responsible enough to know what they want to be called.

Transphobia is relying on the statistics that show that neurodivergent people are more likely to be trans in order to "get a point across" and tell the world how it is all in their head.

Have you ever heard about gender disphoria, sweetie? Do you even know what gender is?

Not saying you hate a community directly doesn't make you less prejudiced than someone who does if you do these things. And being part of a community doesn't mean you can't be prejudiced towards that same community.

From a non-binary who doesn't exactly identify as trans, but who is aware of all your struggles, I wish all of you the best.

And no one, no one in the LGBTQ+ community will ever have the right to exclude you from it.

Be proud.

#transgender #nonbinary #transphobia #down with LBG #lgbtq #lgbtq community #neurodivergence #LGBT with the T

[dantesunbreaker]

Why Do You Lie? Ch. 3/3

Daryl Dixon x Transmasculine Reader

I have this posted on Ao3, but I like having my work cross posted. This has some pretty heavy themes so be warned. I kind of hate this chapter. It was rushed and I wasn't motivated. Some traumatic stuff happened during the writing of it so I went a month without working on it. So apologizes if it doesn't live up to the rest of the story.

Trigger Warnings: Attempted Suicide, Mention of Transphobia, Mentions of Drug Overdose, Self Harm, Mental Illness

Stunned sums up about all that Daryl can feel in the moment as he staggers backwards when you barrel past him into the cell block. Shit. Of all the things, making you cry was the last thing that Daryl wants to be responsible for. Just.. he always struggled with this kind of thing. Relationships. Emotions. Anything of the like was almost like a foreign concept to him, something that would just make his head spin when he tried to wrap his mind around it. Not that he didn’t want those things. He really did. Especially with you. But it is far easier to fall back on old ways than to adapt to change. Kind of like the saying you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Daryl sometimes sure felt like an old dog.

With a heavy sigh, the archer crouches down to examine the bottles spilling out from your discarded messenger bag. Taking the time to actually read the label, Daryl finds himself still at a loss for what it could possibly be. It’s baffling. Merle was notorious for his experimenting with drug use. If you could get high from it, you can bet your ass that Merle had tried it at least once. So why didn’t Daryl recognize this one?

Lifting your bag, Daryl stuffs all the bottles back into your bag and sets his way towards the one person he trusted to know the answers to what it was and why you were after it. Hershel. Probably the only other person at the prison you readily would confide in. With such a calm, gentle soul, the old man could put anyone at ease. Daryl finds him in the infirmary, book in hand as he peacefully reads to pass the time.

“Hey,” Daryl breaks the silence as he steps into the room, setting your bag down on the table but choosing to remain standing opposite Hershel. “Can I ask ya somethin’?”

Giving a content hum, Hershel snaps the book shut and sets it down on the table as he turns to give the archer his undivided attention.

“Certainly. How can I be of service today?”

In one swift motion a single bottle is pulled from your bag and placed onto the table directly in front of Hershel with the label facing him. A word hasn’t even left Daryl’s lips before the older man is plucking the bottle off the table and turning it over in his hands.

“Hopin’ ya might be able to tell me whatever this is used for,” Daryl explains as he shifts anxiously from one foot to the other, a small pit of dread forming in his gut.

“Propranolol. It’s a beta blocker, which means it blocks the effects of epinephrine. Adrenaline. Commonly you will see it used to treat heart conditions or high blood pressure, but in some cases it may also be used in treating the physical effects of anxiety,” the bottle is once more set on the table between them. “Not something on our usual lists of medicines. Who did we pick this up for?”

That small feeling of dread forming in Daryl’s gut is suddenly a dense heavy weight that makes him feel he might drop to the floor. Of course. With all the time spent watching over you or spent with you, he knew you to be a highly anxious individual. The hunter in him often thought of you as a skittish buck, always moments from freezing in the metaphorical headlights or bolting for the trees. Things as simple as a wrong word said in conversation could stall you up, with only Daryl’s hand resting on your shoulder seeming to pull you back to reality. But somehow Daryl never put much thought to your behavior. With the way Daryl felt towards you, it was hard not to think everything about you was normal and perfect.

“Y/N,” Daryl finally manages to get his dry tongue into motion. “Had his whole bag stuffed with ‘em. Froze up and nearly got himself bit doin’ so. I uh... sorta got into it with him about. Twice. ”

“I suppose that’s why the boy seemed so distressed when I saw him run past?” The archer gives a short nod. “Well, you best go find him and not waste anymore time. Y/N is a very troubled young man. I fear that he may do something rash to himself if he hasn't already.”

Fear spikes at Daryl’s heart as he realizes the gravity of the situation. Heart thudding against the cage of his ribs, Daryl bolts towards the only way you could have gone. How could he have been so stupid? Hershel watches as the archer races away before he slowly stands to begin gathering supplies to prep the infirmary. If you were still alive, your best chance for survival was to be able to get the necessary medical help as soon as possible.

Reaching the cell block he had helped clean not too long ago, Daryl throws open the door and takes a cautious step through. Part of him expects, hopes, that you would pop your head out of one of the cells to greet him. But of course that isn’t the case. However, about halfway down the block the archer thinks he can see something scattered across the floor. Impending dread seeps further into his senses as he takes silent steps closer. Tiny blue pills pepper the ground in a sporadic pattern.

No! Rounding the corner into the cell, Daryl feels as if his heart stops dead in his chest at the sight of your crumpled form pressed back against the wall. Crimson pools on the ground just below you while a slow dribble continues from your left wrist. Dropping to his knees without grace, Daryl rips the bandana from his pocket. In most circumstances he would care more about the cleanliness of the scrap of fabric, but in his urgency he doesn’t bother checking. All that matters at the moment is getting something around your wrist to staunch the flow of blood. Tightly, perhaps too tight for your comfort, Daryl binds your injured wrist with his own trembling hands.

“Come on, Y/N,” Daryl’s words come out as a pained growl, fingers traveling up your neck in search of your pulse. A short lived wave of relief crashes over him when he feels the still steady beating of your heart. Having a pulse was good, but it didn’t guarantee that you were out of the woods.

Rough, calloused fingers brushing against your cheeks slowly coaxes you back to the realm of consciousness. Worried crystal blue eyes peer back into your eyes the moment you convince your eyelids to flutter open. Perhaps there is life after death. Why else would the man you’ve been secretly pining over for so long be kneeling in front of you? But then the pain returns and hits you like a sack of bricks. Of course, it would be far too good to be true to think you had made it to heaven. A swift and peaceful death would be too much to ask for.

“Daryl?” Your voice is thick as if from sleep, a dull ache beating at your throat.

“I’m here,” the archer shuffles closer, open palms moving to cup your cheeks as his thumbs stretch to the corners of your eyes as if it somehow would help keep them from closing again. “Stay with me, sunshine.”

There is a soft fluttering in your heart at the gentle tenderness the normally gruff archer seems to display in this moment of darkness. So unlike your previous interactions of the day. A sad smile paints your lips as you feel the need to rest once again pulling at your senses.

“You have such beautiful eyes,” you can’t keep back a half giggle half content sigh. “For what it’s worth... I love you. I care for you... Always have.”

With a trembling hand, you reach up with your blood stained appendage to stroke the archer’s cheek, leaving a trail of scarlet in its wake. For a moment you swear you can see unshed tears welling up behind those crystal blue orbs.

“I. Love. You,” you hope to drive the message home. If anything, Daryl needs to know that he is capable of being loved, that he is worth something.

When your eyes snap closed, the archer lets out an undisguisable sound of protest as he attempts to keep you from slipping away from him. Pulling you to him, Daryl presses you tight into his chest and holds you there for a tense moment. Then you are lifted up and cradled against his chest and supported by his arms. Carrying you back to the infirmary seems to take an eternity, though only because Daryl knows that your life's on the line. Sweat clings to the archer’s skin as he is finally easing your limp frame onto the bed Hershel already has prepared for you. Stricken with shock, the archer can do little more than stand beside the bed with a feeling of numbness as he finally pulls away from you. Only the nudge at his shoulder from Hershel breaks him from his stupor.

“Daryl. Daryl, I need you here with me son,” there is a sense of urgency in the older man’s voice, yet he manages to stay calm and collected. “Tell me how you found him.”

Spying the blood soaked bandana around your wrist, Hershel presses two fingers to your neck in search of your pulse. It is still there beating slow but steady. Now it is the matter of doing what he can to keep it that way.

“In one of the empty cell blocks,” Daryl is quick to answer, watching Hershel’s every move intently. “Bleedin’ from the wrist there,” he points to the fabric Hershel is slowly unwrapping. “Had little blue pills all over the floor around him. Managed to keep him awake for about a minute or two before he was like this.”

A sigh leaves Hershel. “Do you know how many he took?” Daryl responds with a shake of his head. “Let’s hope not enough. We don’t have anything on hand to treat a beta blocker overdose.”

Tense silence washes over the room as the archer begins to anxiously pace back and forth across the concrete floor. He hates this feeling. Like he is powerless, useless to do anything to help you. But he doesn’t know enough about medical shit to be of any help. He would just be in the way. So he just has to place all his trust in that Hershel will do his best for you.

“Y/N is a lucky young man,” Hershel hums as your wound is exposed to the world and wiped clean with a damp towel. “He hit a vein instead of an artery. Bleeds slower.” In fact, part of the wound is already beginning to clot and slow the flow of blood leaking out of you. “Appears he also managed to go without causing any severe nerve or tendon damage. Indeed a lucky man.”

Glancing over Hershel’s shoulder, the archer considers the wound, stunned to only see a wound no longer than an inch and a quarter. How could something so small have the potential to cause such damage? The time it took between Hershel tying off the few stitches and securing a fresh clean bandage around your wrist was miniscule.

“I’ve done what I can,” Hershel begins to clear away the supplies, cleaning up the impromptu workstation. “Physically, he will be alright,” the older man turns to fixate Daryl with a particular look. “Psychologically, he may still need some help. Y/N is going to need you, Daryl.”

Sucking in a much needed breath he wasn’t aware he had been holding, Daryl gives a wordless yes as he fights the feeling of tears wanting to tickle at his eyes. As Hershel leaves the room Daryl continues to pace the floor for a few tense moments before he drops into a chair he pulls up alongside the bed.

It seems like hours that Daryl sits beside your bed, eventually reaching to pull your hand to rest in his lap. Eventually you begin to stir in the bed, making soft groaning noises as your face scrunches up in discomfort. Hopeful, the archer squeezes your hand ever so slightly in hopes to coax you further back to him. Blinking a few times you manage to return to the land of the living. Even the dull lighting of the prison hurts your eyes, but you focus on pushing past it.

“Hey,” is all you hear from your side as you finally take note of a firm hold on your hand.

Forcing your head to turn, you feel a pause in the beating of your heart as you see none other than Daryl gazing back at you with a look of pained fondness. Why was he here? Why was he looking at you that way? What happened? And then it all comes rushing back to you. The pills, the arguments, the blood...and Daryl finding you with tears hiding behind his eyes.

Before you can say anything, Daryl breaks the silence. “I’m sorry,” there is regret dripping from his voice as he stares back at you. “Hershel told me...about what the pills are for. I’m real sorry, I shouldn’t have been so hard on ya without knowin’... And I don’t expect ya to just forgive me. But I didn’t ever want to hurt you like this.”

“I forgive you,” you blurt out without a thought. It was never in question that you would forgive him, people make mistakes all the time without thinking about it. And, you knew that Daryl would truly want to cause anyone pain or distress on purpose. “Just...don’t do it again please?”

He nods simply. For a while, you think that is the end of the conversation. You glance down at the bandages wrapped tight around your wrist and can only assume Hershel took care of you. Despite the circumstances, you are grateful. Some things just happen for a reason. The world must still have some purpose for you.

“Look,” Daryl lets out a sigh after a long moment and turns his gaze to your hand still in his lap. “Ya know I’m not real good with this shit, but I’m tryin’. But...I like bein’ with you, caring for you. I’m a fool for not sayin’ nothin’ sooner.” There is a long pause of silence, you ever so patiently waiting for his next words with bated breath. “But, if you’ll have me...I’d like to be your fool.”

A new pain blooms in your heart, but not in an unwelcome way. Rather, you feel your very being ache in that moment for Daryl. But also for yourself. It is hard to fight against what you know and is your comfort, no matter how much you want what’s waiting just on the other side.

Sensing the archer’s growing unease at your lack of answer you finally part your lips. “I’d love nothing more, Daryl. I’ve sorta been hoping for a long time that you might feel that way,” feeling shy, you try to push away the heat rising up your cheeks.

Silence that is not quite comfortable, but not quite awkward fills the room as both of you look at anything around the room besides each other. It will be a while before there is a sort of comfortable ease in this newly formed relationship. Neither of you really knows how to do this, but you know that it is worth it as you feel Daryl gently squeeze your hand that still rests within his. Pink dusts his cheeks as he continues to look at the wall beside you, but there is an innocent smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

#daryl dixon x ftm reader #daryl dixon x trans reader #daryl x reader #daryl dixon x reader #walking dead fanfiction

[kalcifers-blog]

I'd like to know your head canons on JBM, plus, how would Marvin react when they figure out that homophobia/transphobia exists?

Starting off with Marv, they'd mostly be like "???????? H u h??" In response to that because it just doesn't sound real to them tbh. Like "it's literally none of their business why are they so mad??".

NOW FOR JBM HCS.

- Jackie's HOH/Partially deaf, and uses hearing aids, he developed hearing problems in his childhood (around age 10) and uses BSL (my newest version of JBM is British-Irish)

- Jackie is the youngest out of all the egos so to everyone (except Marvin) he's seen as the younger brother/son figure

- Jackie's powers are a direct result of IRIS experimenting with Anti-Matter. He doesn't know this but he was specifically chosen to one day be the person to put an end to Anti's reign, but the experimentation didn't go as planned and Jackie was essentially cast aside (some IRIS workers were genuinely considering killing him so their work isn't revealed to the public).

-Carrying on from the last note; Jackie's powers can look extremely similar to Anti's because of the fact that he was created with stopping Anti in mind- meaning he has things like teleportation(however it's only in short bursts, think Hunter from The Owl House), an unnatural endurance, super strength and a level of control over electrical fields. One of the side effects is that his powers can occasionally become unstable if not regulated properly.

- Another side effect is the fact that he can't exactly die? Since his powers directly correlate with Anti (yk the guy that's literally in a "dead" body 24/7) his "healing abilities" arent the fact that he's healing it's that his body naturally works on injuries faster- meaning it would take something that would kill him instantaneously for it to actually work- otherwise he will eventually come back from it (also the healing doesn't mean he can't get scars anymore, he still gets scars from any injury he attains) and yes he does still feel pain

- Ever since he completely cut ties with IRIS, he out right refuses to use his powers as much as he is physically able too, sometimes he's unable too due to the fact that they are tied to his well-being and can come out during outbursts or moments involving high levels of stress, anger etc.

- his eyes used to be grey before everything happened, now they're extremely bright blue- he doesn't exactly hate it but it still catches him off guard to see them sometimes

- Most of his "hero" work isn't technically the stereotypical stuff a hero would normally do- but it's still very important that he does. He very often goes to protests and volunteers at places wherever he can. He doesn't consider this hero work either, just stuff he wants to do to help out where he can

- The man is an extrovert to his core, he literally will be making friends literally anywhere and half the time the rest of the egos are just like- "what the fuck???" Because none of them are extroverts.

- I think Jackie took a lot longer than Marvin to fall for them than they did. Mostly because mans got horrid issues regarding to letting people seeing him be vulnerable, and it's only when Marvin makes it extremely clear that they're safe to be around that he ends up slowly falling for them. He also admires how they don't particularly care about anyone else's opinions and values taking care of themselves over conforming into what any society says you should be.

-this ones pretty obvious but Jackie is 100% punk

- his day job is being a freelance artist and guitarist in a punk band. He also part times as a bartender (THE MANS IS BUSY AS SHIT.)

-he obviously mains as a guitarist but he does also know how to play bass and drums (he's had to step in for his other band mates occasionally)

THATS ALL FOR NOW!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK!! Please feel free to send in asks for headcanon lists I love seeing them!!

#jacksepticeye #jse egos #jse #jacksepticeye egos #jackieboy man #marvelsepticeye #honey quartzs blog

[villainessbian]

Hello. Sorry if this question will be too controversial for you, I understand.

You seem like a well studied person, so I wanted to ask if you could help me research something I don't know where to start with.

Recently I've seen a growing discourse on twitter about... Whether trans women or trans men are more oppressed. And in my opinion, measuring the degree of oppression is very easy! But no-one in this discourse is doing that. You can do so by looking at the rate of poverty among different genders of trans people, and which group experiences more crime directed at them, and which group is more happy.

But I'm not sure how to find the research for that. I'm not an academic. Do you think you could help me?

Thank you 💗

Measuring the degree of oppression is not easy, I don't think these stats exist at all (because who would pay for them? no one with that kind of money wants us alive), and oppression is not the olympics.

Discourse-y things under the cut.

In my experience transfems seem to be "more oppressed" in the sense that the pressure to oppress transfems is stronger. Everyone agrees transfems are the ones that the overwhelming majority of discourse targets, even the people who disagree with the conclusion and say that this is proof of invisibility of non-transfem trans people. Find a random act of transphobic hate, and the likelihood that the person who did it even knows transmasc people exist to be a target isn't very high. Look at the "accidental ally" posts and 99.9% of them is bigots trying to be transmisogynistic at transmascs because they're used to transmisogyny.

And the final point - transmisogyny exists as a separate thing. Transphobia targeted at transfems, transphobia targeted at transmascs, generic transphobia targeted at everyone are three different expressions of the same thing. Transmisogyny is a separate thing on the side, and the attemps to mirror it with "transmisandry" or "transandrophobia" all just point to the aforementioned "transphobia targeted at transmascs" and nothing different, nothing specific. Transmisogyny stands "on its own" in a way, though it is specifically the interplay of transphobia and misogyny into creating something new. The way trans women (and transfems in general) are simultaneously not believable victims, easy victims, and "no, actually perpetrators" of interpersonal violence, especially sexual violence. It coexists *all at the same time* in people's minds that trans women are not women, and that desires that target women can and do target trans women. That trans women hold less power than other women to stop you doing whatever, but also that they hold more power than you on what you do so they're responsible for what you do to them. That trans women are dangerous, and that they're the easiest demographic to focus on for an attack. The theory that they're part of a secret cabal to control the world ("cabal" used on purpose - this theory HEAVILY overlaps with anti-semitism) coexists with the knowledge you can call cops on trans women and endanger their lives instantly even if you were aggressing them. When KJK/posie parker had her rally and Nazis showed up sieg heiling with a "destroy pedo freaks" poster, "pedo freaks" was aimed at trans women specifically. Hell, the terf rhetoric that does target transmascs specifically (all the lost lesbian/brainwashed autist/permanent damage to sweet kids/etc bullshit) assumes more often than not - if not always - that transmascs are passive victims of the horribleterrible "trans ideology" spearheaded by public enemy number one, the predatory "man in women's clothes/womanface."

In the purest senses of "who has the most kinds of oppression" and "who is targeted the most directly by oppression," transfems are "more oppressed" than transmascs, but just saying that accomplishes nothing and serves little purpose. You can't predict how easy someone's life is because of that. Is it also shit for transmascs dealing with all this? Definitely. And transmascs dealing with transphobia also have to deal with misogyny - this time not as an interplay, but as something that inevitably happens as a second step. When transphobia is aimed at transmascs, a huge part of it leads back to some "you should have been a woman and become an objectified baby oven" horror scenario.

The social pressure to hate transfems is stronger, there is a special social construct/social dynamic that materialised specifically out of trying to destroy transfems, but that's like comparing losing two fingers to losing a hand - we want no one to lose anything, not discourse about which one is worse. Recognising that transmisogyny exists doesn't serve the purpose of being a gotcha to transmascs, it serves the purpose of fighting transmisogyny. Fighting transmisogyny doesn't happen without fighting all transphobia. (It is possible to fight transphobia without going the "extra mile" to fight transmisogyny, which kinda leaves transfems behind to deal with their issues, but for all the internet discourse I've seen I've literally never met someone who did that. I've heard of bad people doing that because they don't care, but I haven't even heard of them on my continent).

Plus, everyone's situation is different. You can lose two fingers and die to gangrene, you can lose the entire arm and heal well. I don't see how stats would be able to accurately reflect the diversity of factors. You'd need to check for so many things. Weigh against time. There is no unbiased sample that doesn't figure in the millions at the very least with such a diverse group.

[petersaysthings]

On Kit Connor’s Coming Out

Hello, people of Tumblr. Tonight, I’m emerging from exile for a few minutes--minutes that SHOULD be spent banging out the first chapter of my novel for #NaNoWriMo, but here we are--to talk about Kit Connor’s coming out. Firstly, let’s get the obvious out of the way.

No one should ever have to come out like this. Ever.

And as a gay man who has always been an introvert, and thus bullied relentlessly throughout my elementary, middle, and high school years for “acting gay” long before I myself even knew my own sexuality, I can relate all too well to the kind of pressure Kit was facing, never mind him being a celebrity (an added pressure I hope to never know and cannot fathom having to handle).

Judgmental people assume they know things about you just because of what they see on your online profiles, what your personal interests are, the way you dress, the way you walk and talk, whether you’re extroverted or introverted, how extroverted or introverted you are, etc. All of these things become tallies in their minds. And because they can only see what’s public about you, they feel entitled to find out other things to confirm their own biases and feel validated in their pressure.

Honestly, no wonder people are still scared to come out in 2022.

Especially because being online literally all the time has not only become a major part of our existence, it has also massively lowered inhibitions, empathy, and the capacity for tact when we sit behind a phone or computer screen on social media too often. This has been proven through valid research and countless studies. (On a side note, there’s the wave of transphobia going on here in the US and abroad too, which I won’t get into, but politicians and conservative reactionaries have certainly added fuel to the fires of online drama.)

I recall seeing a Tweet back when this whole debacle started, which I can no longer find unfortunately, in which someone had said “it’s not bad to want validity in stories. If it came out Kit was straight, a lot of LGBTQ people would be mad, so he should save them the trouble and just come out already”.

A lot of LGBTQ people would be mad. Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me?

Raise your hand if you’re mad at Kit right now. Anyone? No? Thought not. 

So I cannot even begin to express how toxic, damaging, and enabling of hate that kind of view is. As if he’s directly responsible for the angry reactions of so-called “fans”. As if hate crimes could be justified against the unlabeled simply because they will not disclose their sexuality for validity points. What the fuck.

Look, part of me understands. People want validity, and it’s nice when we get it. They want to know that the portrayals of the queer heroes they look up to and take refuge in are coming from a place of honesty. That not only are their favorite characters just like them, the actors are too...right? NO.

That’s where self-professed fans need to take a step back and realize the difference between television and reality. Because unless you personally know these actors or their families, no member of the general public is entitled to any revealing personal info about them at all whatsoever. PERIOD. THE END. Have a thin mint or something and stop being a literal stalker.

We’re lucky to know what these actors do share, we’re even luckier when they interact with us, support us, say things that keep us going, and make life a little more bearable for everyone. But sadly, we probably just lost any further chance of that light from Kit.

All because a certain toxic subset of people who called themselves Heartstopper fans couldn’t be bothered to grasp how traumatizing Charlie’s coming out was, or Nick’s very real fears about how his life could negatively change if he came out.

I can only hope those “fans” know now, and for the sake of any other unlabeled LGBTQ+ people, I hope this shameful incident teaches you to treat everyone else you meet online with the respect and dignity you failed to afford Kit Connor. And perhaps seek psychological help if you haven’t learned anything at all, because once again, you were never entitled to know a single fucking thing.

Now that I’ve spent a good hour on this, I’ve got a novel to write.

Until my next post, I wish the rest of you well. ☺

And to the undisclosed, remember that Pride doesn’t have to be a formal public declaration. It can also be a private, personal thing that you should absolutely throw a one-person party for. Order your favorite foods, buy a new piece of clothing or jewelry, do something nice for yourself. Because you’re awesome. You’re beautiful. You’re valid. You’re loved. I accept you. 🌈

#Kit Connor #Heartstopper #Alice Oseman #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #Coming Out #PRIDE #queer #queer representation #bisexual #Joe Locke #yasmin finney #gay pride #gay community #hstwt #twitter

[dragynkeep]

I think he saw your posts.

Why hasn't he blocked you yet?

oh he has me blocked, i guess he just can't take responsibility for himself. however big tw for transphobia / nbphobia, ableism, victim blaming & rape mention because actually looking at the post is a major yikes.

i don't care that you made an anti rwde post, crimson. i care that yet again you're using ableist terms & phrases, once again proving that alongside your "apology" for doing so was utterly conditional but that you also just. can't take responsibility for your own actions. no one is forcing you to go into the rwde tag or see our "cold takes", you need to manage your social media consumption better. no one is going to do it for you.

but also by reblogging a post dripping with radfem rhetoric that directly impacts those with bpd, especially genderqueer people with bpd, you've shown that so long as the views are right, you will platform terfs. & considering that you couldn't even believe that i was the target of the transphobic bigotry from the confessions blog you reblogged & not my trans brother, & you accused me of co-opting that when it was never directed at him in the first place, you need to realize how harmful your words & assumptions can be. you need to stop doubling down when you're proven wrong.

people like me are not why borderlines, not "bpd", get so much hatred. we're hated because neurotypicals & non cluster b neurodivergents think that we're fundamentally "non human" because of the way our disorders exhibit. there's multiple instances of just how these attitudes harm us & kill us, we're killed as a result of this ableism.

i haven't blamed anything on my bpd, i've actually been quiet about my mental health diagnosis outside of instances where i felt it helpful or supportive. you're the one pulling the "i have a black friend" in regards to your brother, friend & mother. i am not them. if you've met someone with bpd, you've met one person with bpd. we are not all the same & it's abhorrant you would use this as an opportunity to further stigmatize those with bpd after being told that the post you reblogged from a terf was from a neurotypical transphobic woman who exploited our experiences for money. you can't divorce the terf aspect from your "support" for the ableism, they're entwined.

also "stick your head in an oven" is certainly something to say to a jewish person but i'm definitely not going to assume any antisemitism & just ascribe it to the far more likely instance of you telling me to go kill myself. thank you for the suggestion but i'm fine.

this one was almost kind of funny because i was waiting for a self proclaimed rwby fan to use the instance of me having to flee my house in the middle of the night to escape a situation of domestic violence from the man who was supposed to love & raise me. the man who's same abuse was part of causing my bpd. right now i am homeless because that same bpd, alongside the physical disability i have that prevents me from moving for long periods of time, is the reason i don't "have a job."

you would think that someone who "had to relearn how to walk" would have more sympathy in this type of situation but once again you are proving that just because you are trans & disabled, does not mean that you cannot perpetuate transphobia or ableism. these screenshots & your vile words show that.

it's also hilarious that all 11 notes on your post are further comments of these vile words. it's all you, no one else wants to pay witness to this downward spiral of disgusting bigotry & hatred.

thank you for being inclusive in your unhinged tirade of insults, it really warms my heart after you reblog ableism from terfs against borderlines & prove that your "apology" a few weeks back was completely spineless.

i'm not engaging in your attempts to bring up any "rape smut" i have written, i implore you to see beyond whatever bubble you've trapped yourself in & actually read some literature on how these kinks occur & just how sex, gender & trauma play into it.

your brain damage does not allow you to perpetuate ableism against other disabled people; that's not how power reclamation works. this is not 'pc shit', these are legitimately harmful views you're espousing because you hate me that much, you think you're validated in doing this because i'm a "bad person." because i "deserve it." which unfortunately is the same technique of invalidation & dehumanization that plenty of bigots use, & will use against you.

i'm not angry with you, or pissed off. i was when all of this started weeks back & you invalidated the transphobia i faced, when you called into question my status as a rape survivor & when you refused to take any accountability for your ugly words.

now i just want you to find some peace & learn coping mechanisms that allow you not to blow up & harm other marginalized people whenever they bring up something harmful that you've done. all of this came from one ask that pointed out that you had reblogged harmful rhetoric from terfs, & all of this hatred came from it. what if i was in a worse place, like i was a week ago? what if i actually had killed myself? would you be able to live with that?

i don't think so either. do better.

#rwby #rwde #crimson-caracal #ableism #transphobia #nbphobia #victim blaming #ais.txt #answered #long post /

[mewlabu]

Let's take a moment to talk about the obviously stupid claim/narrative around the Buffalo shooter being somehow "radicalized" by Azov.

I'm not only talking about the obvious evidence to the contrary in his rantings, which point directly to his support for Russia. Ultimately, that's not even the problem here.

The problem is how this narrative externalizes a very domestic issue. It reinforces American exceptionalism by making white supremacy an "over there" problem.

They were doing the same stupid thing with Trump's election. Sure you can blame Russia for disinformation campaigns, but ultimately, Americans voted for this man, with broadly available access to information.

A major issue of Western liberalism is that it presents a self image of benevolence and progressiveness, rejecting extremism but in a way that is not about actual self correction, or critical analysis, but as a threat to this sense of identity as democratic, just, society. Liberalism can't breed this kind of hate, surely not, so any such elements must be the cause of some other ideology, some external force, beyond it's borders and control!

This idea is one that marginalized folks, in politics, academia, and every day life and civil rights organizations have been challenging for decades. They've worked and risked their lives to expose the contradictions, to bring to light these self delusions so that systemic issues can be addressed and confronted and dealt with in ways that create real, long term change.

They've been talking about how people in power, people with platforms, people who have been given legitimacy by the political, informational, and cultural system of the country promote and encourage extremism.

They have shown time and time again, that it isn't some secret cabal, or even just the obvious groups like the KKK who are perpetuating racism and antisemitism and homophobia and transphobia and misogyny, or some outsider force turning white cops into murderers, or disgruntled white men into mass shooters, or voters into bigots. They've been writing about it for decades to expose that this is part of the American fabric and culture, that the paths to radicalization are varied and well outlined very much American as apple pie and they fight for their voices, their understanding, to be utilized, to lead change, to be seen as worth discussing.

Meanwhile the right and gun lobby take incidents like the buffalo shooter and other mass shootings and domestic terrorist and along with many liberals try to disown them. Try to seek blame elsewhere. Anywhere but at their own systems and selves. So young man radicalized by Ukraine or by Russia is a nice way to distance the shooters actions, views, and radicalization from good, democratic Americanism. Surely no good American would have such thoughts or views from America!

That tankies fall for/perpetuate this is kind of funny to me, though not surprising. They are, after all, partly distinguishable form other parts of the left by their arrogance and sense of invincibility to bias, bigotry, or blindness through ideology. They are also a product of their environment and even as they claim to hate the state they inhabit, they are shaped by its belief in its own myth.

There is some serious cognitive self defense going on in claiming only tangential responsibility for something by assigning it to some broader, diffused global evil than to something you could be directly engaging with at home, especially when you've been refusing to vote or engage with the existing systems because you've been saying they are imperialistic etc.

There are a lot of international things and groups out there that do rely on incubation in some other spaces or places.

White supremacy and Nazi ideology though, isn't one of them, not for the west.

The reality is that the Buffalo shooter is not Ukraine's fault. Or even Russia's fault. He is the product of American society and culture and history. A product of American racism.

Just as there was anti antisemitism and homophobia and racism in American before Hitler came to power, and long after he was dead and Nazi Germany defeated. The American far right has enough in its own borders to radicalize people. They don't need to be tourists to be radicalized. They didn't need it then and still don't need any international Nazis to do what they do at home.

To try and paint it as anything else is to continue to deny the legacy of American racism and the current day experience of marginalized folks in the west, and to absolve America and Americans of their responsibility to act to change it.

Honestly, this is so obvious at this point, or should to be to anyone who claims to be in any way interested in anti-racism or even mild critical analysis of American history and culture of racism. It's actually kind of baffling to me that the so called far left, who spends their whole time screaming about the evil nature of the West, jumped on the Ukraine connection with such zeal. But perhaps I still give them more credit than they deserve.

#ukraine #american racism

[hushpadart]

Lil watercolor thing of my OC Maggie. One of these days I'm going to actually draw in detail what's going on with her teeth. Best way I can describe it is she looks like a vampire with hyperdontia. She has too many teeth, and most of them are sharp. I will also eventually actually draw her curly hair and not half ass it lmao

Maggie is a haint but didn't start off that way. Her story is not a happy one, but she's content with her existence now.

Tw: murder, violence, mentions of bigotry, racism, homophobia, transphobia, stalking (all of the mentions of bigotry are in regards to people she targets, and she was the one doing the stalking in her quest for vengeance after a great crime had been committed against her)

She was born a human girl in the late 19th century to a well off if not rich family, and a man in some position of power(maybe a politician or lawyer or owner of a big company) who was secretly hella crooked and corrupt courted and married her. It wasn't until after they were married that she began to see what kind of person he really was, and at some point her parents died in a "mysterious accident", leaving their money and property to her. She had a strong feeling her husband was responsible for their deaths and after some discreet investigation, she found she was right, but before she could even go to the police, her husband killed her too. However, her ghost stuck around, angry and wanting revenge but unable to do anything about it... Until something much stronger and of a darker nature than herself found her and offered her the power to avenge herself and anyone else who had been harmed by people like her husband(that is, people who can fool others into believing they're decent folks so they can get what they want, but on the inside their soul is rotted through with greed, hate, bigotry, cruelty, machiavellianism etc) in exchange for service. She gained the ability to see into people's minds and souls and judge for herself if they were corrupt enough to deserve death by her hand. She mainly targets corrupt politicians and police, people who seem like the nicest folks you'll ever meet in the daylight but put on a white hood at night, cult leaders, people who claim to love everyone as their god loves them but will abuse and shun and throw out their own children for being gay or trans.

Of course her first victim was her self-widowed husband, and she took a dramatic route with her vengeance. She started by showing up in his peripheral vision, then directly in his line of sight. Every time he saw her, she was dressed in what she'd been wearing when he killed her, but she'd disappear within a few seconds after he saw her, until he started to wonder if he was losing his mind. Then she started standing outside his house at night, knocking and scratching on the doors and windows and occasionally calling his name. She'd stalk him out in public, making sure nobody but him could see her, and when she was ready to strike, she allowed him to shoot her so he would think he was safe when she went down, but then she got back up and said, "You done killed me once, you can't do it again, honey," before tearing him apart. She ate most of his corpse but took his heart back to where she'd met the being that had given her the power to do this and left the heart as an offering, and she would leave the hearts of future victims as offerings as well.

Her power grew over many years, and she eventually grew strong enough to break away from the being that had given her power, and now serves herself and the hunger for vengeance that still boils within her soul. She can be injured and even incapacitated if you know how to do it, but she can't be killed because as long as one person still walks this earth carrying the same kind of corruption that killed her, she will also be walking this earth seeking their blood. She can sleep to recuperate if she gets tired or uses too much energy, but she can never truly rest. Still, she's content with the way she exists now, and she's even made friends with another haint woman with a similar story to her own and the other haint woman's companion, both of whom will be posted in the near future.

#hushpad's art #traditional art #oc #original character #tw murder #tw racism mention #tw homophobia mention #tw transphobia mention #tw violence #tw stalking

[doberbutts]

@regular-mulder

i hate those jokes so much tbh but every time i speak out about how shitty they are i get so much hate for it

it makes me hate being a man

and then some of them will even say shit like 'trans men are fine though we don't include them' and it just smacks of transphobia to me

Your tags on that post hit the nail directly on the head.

As someone who is both trans and gay, I can verify that those jokes Feel Bad Man and that most of the time I see someone make them and instantly I think that that person is no longer safe to speak to. Because either they are including me in whatever shittiness they’re talking about because I am a dude, or they are NOT including me because I’m trans and thus not “as much of a dude” to them. Either way it smacks of transphobia and homophobia and a lack of intersectionality and I am just not here for it.

My attraction to men is neither unfortunate nor a bad thing nor shameful. I find men quite pleasing to look at and think about and perform various affectionate and passionate actions with. Making it out to be a bad thing would force me back into the shame and despair I found myself in when I was a young teen trying to figure out why these things made me feel the way I did when everything around me told me it was wrong. I refuse to go back to that closet for the sake of being the butt of someone’s shitty jokes.

My being a man is neither unfortunate nor a bad thing nor shameful. Shaming me for living my truth is not okay no matter the labels of the person doing it. I fought long and hard to live my life the way I am happiest and I will not let someone who wants to score a few laughs make me ashamed of who I am. I will not live as something I’m not just because people disapprove of my entire gender.

But when the affected speak up about it, the only response is hate and vitriol. This happened IN A QUEER SPACE. Somewhere that was said to be a safe space for all LGBT+ people. Not even our supposed safe spaces are safe for us half the time.

[kuromichad]

different subject that’s heavy on my mind rn but since i’m already being harsh let’s get into it. i wish it wasn’t automatically presumed to be some kind of truscum attitude when someone tries to express that different parts of The Trans Community have like, different needs and different risk levels and different experiences and that we have the ability to talk over each other, harm each other, etc... like when i put it that way people generally are like ‘of course that’s true!’ but is it ever really understood in practice? a number of people (not a large enough number, but still) are able to loosely understand ‘you can be trans and transphobic’ when it’s applied to the matter of transmisogyny but when a trans person tries to express distrust of or frustration with afab nb people due to how common it is that that category of person will, despite being trans/nb, espouse bioessentialist, anti-medical-transition, radfem-adjacent if not outright cryptoterf rhetoric, suddenly ‘trans people can be transphobic’ gets applied to... the person with a complaint about transphobia. 

because he’s clearly an evil truscum man! regardless of if the person making the complaint is a trans man or trans woman, oops, lol. he’s a bad person who is attacking and invalidating and totally hatecriming the heckin’ valid, equally at-risk transgender identity of “an afab woman who isn’t a woman except when she pointedly categorizes themself as a woman because being afab makes them a woman who is ‘politically aligned’ with women but she’s not an icky unwoke cis woman because they don’t like being forced into womanhood although Really When You Think About It 🤔 all women are dysphoric because obviously the pathologized medical diagnosis of gender dysphoria in transgender people is something that equally applies to cis women just default existing under patriarchy 🤔, and no, equating these things totally does not imply anything reductive about or add a bizarre moral dimension to the idea of being transgender, whaaaaat, this woman who isn’t a woman doesn’t think there’s anything immoral or cowardly or misogynist or delusional about being transgender, they would never say that because THEY’RE transgender, except when she feels it’s important (constantly) to make clear that she’s Still A Woman Deep Down Inherently Despite Not Identifying As One, and none of this ever has any effect on how they treat the concept, socially and politically, of people who actually wholly identify with (and possibly medically transition to) a gender different from the one they were assigned at birth, be it ‘the opposite gender’ or abstaining from binary gender altogether or ‘politically aligning’ with the ‘opposite’ gender from their asab. never ever!”

and like maybe that sounds like a completely absurd and hateful strawman to you! but in that case you’re either like, lucky, or optimistic, or ignorant. i’m literally not looking at random nb people and declaring that in My Truscum Opinion they’re ‘really a woman’ just because they’re not medically transitioning or meeting some arbitrary standard of mine. i am looking at self-identified afab nb people, who most often use she/they because, y’know, words mean things, especially pronouns, so people who are willingly ‘aligned with womanhood’ typically intentionally use she/her (sorry that i guess that’s another truscum take now!!! that pronouns mean things!!! the bigender transmasc who deliberately uses exclusively he/him wants it to invoke a perception he’s comfortable with!), who actively say the things listed above (in a non-sarcastic manner). 

like, the line between a person who says “i don’t claim to really not be my asab because i know no one would ever perceive me as anything else” because theyve internalized a defeatist attitude due to societal transphobia, and a person who says that because they... genuinely believe it’s impossible/ridiculous/an imposition to truly be transgender (in the traditional trans sense, beyond a vague nb disidentification with gender) and are actively contributing to the former person’s self loathing... is hard to define from a distance! i think plenty of people who are, in a sense, ‘tentative’ or like ‘playing close to home’ so to speak in their identity are ‘genuinely trans’ (whatever that may mean) and just going through a process. they might arrive at a different identity or might just eventually stop saying/believing defeatist stuff, who knows. but there are enough people saying it for the latter reason, or at least not caring if they sound that way, that it’s like, dangerous. it is actively incredibly harmful to other trans people. and it’s fucking ridiculous that it’s so difficult to criticize because you’ll always get the defense of “umm but i’m literally trans” and/or “well i’m just talking about ME, this doesn’t apply to other trans people” when it’s an attitude that very clearly seeps into their politics and the way they discuss gender.

because it’s just incredibly common for afab nb people (most typically those that go by she/they! since i’m aware that uh, i am also afab nb, but we clearly are extremely different, so that’s the best categorization i’ve got) to discuss gender in moralized terms, with the excuse of patriarchy/misogyny existing, which of course adds another difficult dimension to trying to criticize this because it gets the response of “don’t act like misandry is real” (it’s not, but being a dick still is) and “boohoo, let women complain about their oppressors” (this goes beyond ‘complaining’). a deliberate revocation of empathy/sympathy/compassion from men and projection of inherently malicious/brutish/cruel intent onto men (not solely in the justified generalizations ‘men suck/are dangerous’, but in specific interactions too) underpin a whole fucking lot of popular posts/discussions online, whether they’re political or casual/social, and it absolutely influences how people conceptualize and feel about transness. 

because ‘maleness is evil’ is still shitty politics even when you’ve slightly reframed it from the terf ‘trans women are evil because they’re Really Men and can never escape being horrific soulless brutes just as women can never escape being fragile morally superior flowers’ to the tumblr shethey “trans women who are out to me/unclockable are tolerable i guess because they’re women and women are good; anyone i personally presume to be a cis man, though, is still automatically evil, and saying trans men are Just As Bad is progressive of me, and it’s totally unrelated and apolitical that i think we should expand the concept of afab lesbianism so broadly that you can now be basically indistinguishable from trans men on literally every single level except for a declaration of ‘but i would never claim to be a man because i’m secure in the Innate Womanhood of the body i was born into, even as i medically alter that body because it causes me great gendered discomfort.’ none of this at all indicates that i feel there’s an immense moral/political gap between being an afab nb lesbian vs a straight trans man! it says nothing at all about my concept of ‘maleness’ and there’s no way this rhetoric bleeds into my perception of trans women and no way loudly talking about all this could keep trans people around me self-loathing and closeted, because i’m Literally Trans and Not A Terf!”

again, if that sounds like a hateful strawman, sorry but it’s not. i guess i’m supposed to be like ‘all of the many people ive seen saying these shitty things is an evil outlier who Doesn’t Count, and it’s not fair to the broad identity of afab shethey to not believe that every person who doesn’t outright say terfy enough things is a perfectly earnest valid accepting trans person who’s beyond criticism’ but like. this cannot be about broad validation. this can’t be about discarding all the bad apples as not really part of the group. we can’t be walking on eggshells to coddle what are essentially, in the end, Cis Feelings, because in the best cases this kind of rhetoric comes from naive people who are early and uncertain in their gender journey or whatever and are in the process of unraveling internalized transphobia, and in the easily observable worst cases these people are very literally redefining shit so that ‘actually all afab women are trans, spiritually, all afabs have dysphoria, we are all Equally oppressed by Males uh i mean cis men <3’ because, let’s be honest, they know that the moment they call themselves trans they get to say whatever they want about gender no matter how harmful it is to the rest of us. and those ideas spread like wildfire through the afab shethey “woman that’s not a woman” community that frankly greatly outnumbers other types of trans people online, because many of those people just do not have the experiences that lead you to really understand this shit and have to push back against concepts of gender that actively harm you as a trans person.

like that’s all i want to be able to say, is Things Are Different For Different Groups. and a willful ignorance of these differences leads to bad rhetoric controlling the overall discourse which gets people hurt. and even when concepts arise from it that seem positive and helpful and inclusive, in practice or in origin those ideas can still be upholding shit that gets other people hurt. like, i don’t doubt that many people are very straightforwardly happy and comfortable with an identity like ‘afab nb lesbian on testosterone’ and it would be ridiculous and hypocritical for me, ‘afab nb who wants to pass as a guy so he can comfortably wear skirts again,’ to act like that’s something that can’t or shouldn’t exist. it’s not about the identity itself, it’s about the politics that are popular within its community, and how the use of identities as moral labels with like, fucking pokemon type interactions for oppression effectiveness which directly informs the moral correctness of your every opinion and your very existence, is a shitty practice that gets people hurt and leads us to revoke empathy from each other.

like. sorry this is all over the place and long and probably still sounds evil because i haven’t thought through and disclaimered every single statement. but i’m like exhausted from living with this self-conscious guilt that maybe i’ve turned into a horrible evil truscum misogynist etc etc due to feeling upset by this seemingly inescapable approach to gender in lgbt/online circles that like, actively harms me, because when i vent with my friends all the stuff i’ve tried to explain here gets condensed down to referencing ‘she/theys’ as a category and that feels mean and generalizing and i genuinely dislike generalizations but the dread i feel about that category gets proven right way too often. it’s just like. this is not truscum this is not misgendering this is not misogyny. this is not about me decreeing that all transmascs have to be manly enough or dysphoric enough and all nbs have to be neatly agender and androgynous or something, i’m especially not saying that nb gender isn’t real lmao or even that it’s automatically wrong to partially identify with your asab; this is not me saying you can only medically transition for specific traditional reasons or that you don’t get a say on anything if you aren’t medically transitioning for whatever reason, now or ever. i just. want to be allowed to be frank about how... when there’s different experiences in a community we should like. acknowledge those differences and be willing to say that sometimes people don’t know what they’re talking about or that what they’re saying is harmful. without the primary concern being whether people will feel invalidated by being told so. because these are like, real issues, that are more important than politely including everyone, because that method is just getting vulnerable people drowned out constantly.

#source on much of this: existing as a transmasc on tumblr for years and years. #i stopped identifying as any sort of 'woman-aligned' pretty much right before the ridiculous 'all afabs are dysphoric' stuff #but it sure did still make me hate myself and feel like a silly cowardly ugly little girl for wanting to transition! #and back when i WAS a she/they i definitely was falling for 'men are bad maleness is bad always inherently :)' rhetoric #not in the modern form outlined above but in the like. brainlessly parroted from 'baeddel tumblr' form #which was still like 'you can escape being a Bad Person by either becoming or admitting you are a girl :)' #and the only acknowledgment of trans men in this ideology was like. 'well i guess they feel like they have to do that :\' #'too bad for them. im not saying they shouldnt transition but you know. men suck though <3' #it was bad for me it was bad for other people so im saying from experience. Fucking cut it out! the end

[goosegoblin]

I'm talking about this with you because I feel like you're kind and understanding and won't judge me too harshly. I promise my intentions are good and I never mean to hurt anyone's feelings. Having said all that...I realized that I feel more comfortable around trans men than I do around trans women. And I'm very aware of all the discrimination and hate and fear transwomen face, but for some reason, I have my guard up higher around them, especially if they're still presenting in a masculine way. I'm thinking this is from years of trauma and an intense fear of men, but I'm trying to rewire my brain. Am I a jackass? What can I do to fix this thinking? (Want to clarify that I am respectful to all and will call everyone by their preferred name and pronouns!)

[standard trans issue disclaimer that I’m cis, so my opinions on this should be viewed through that filter and not taken as an authority] [that being said, on this occasion, I do actually think it was a good idea to avoid approaching a trans person- especially a trans woman- directly with this issue. As a cis person ,  can’t really be hurt or harmed by transphobia in the same way that a trans person can, and you’re right to be wary about bringing issues with internalised bigotry directly to those who are the victims of it]

No, I don’t think you’re a jackass by any means. If you’ve been hurt by men, your brain has learned a pattern recognition system that causes you to react to things your brain initially reads as ‘man’. That does not mean that you actually believe that trans women are men. The fact that you seemingly don’t react to trans men in the same way is interesting, though, and that combined with the rest does suggest you have some internalised transphobia going on.

Please note: this does not make you a bad person. Growing up, we internalise the messages around us, and this includes messages of sexism, racism, homophobia and transphobia. This isn’t limited to the privileged, by the way- internalised homophobia/ misogyny/ transphobia/ ableism etc is a very real phenomenon. For a potentially familiar example- you know how a lot of girls go through a stage of being like ‘I’m not like other girls because I have interests and hobbies’? That’s internalised misogyny. We were not bad people for thinking that; but, of course, if we were still parroting those beliefs as adults and using them to oppress and harm others, that is a problem. 

My slightly rambling point is that you are not a bad person for absorbing the things you are taught, or for developing a trauma-based reaction. The initial, knee-jerk reaction you get is a product of that internalisation. How you then react to it, the thoughts you use to address it and how you behave- that’s you. That’s much more you than a misfiring fight-or-flight system. 

I’m... honestly kind of reluctant to just respond with anything implying that you need to learn to selectively repress this response based on someone’s gender identity, because I don’t think it acknowledges the actual problem you’re experiencing. I don’t think that’s a helpful way to view things- it seems like slapping a plaster on a more significant issue, which is that people who present in a certain way trigger a deep and intense fear for you. Experiencing that in response to 50% of all people sounds like a really frightening and difficult way to live. Is therapy an option for you at all? I am not well-read in trauma literature, but I’ve heard really good things about the book ‘The Body Keeps The Score’, and I’m fairly certain there are many PDF versions floating around on the internet if you’d like to check them out. 

tl;dr: that does indeed sound like internalised transphobia, but experiencing that doesn’t make you evil or irredeemable. I think that rather than focusing on specifically trying to train away a certain part of your response, you would do better to address the trauma and reaction you have, while continuing to challenge transphobic thoughts or responses when they do arise.

xxx

#transphobia cw #i feel like i phrased parts of this badly #transphobes do not interact #Anonymous

[the-scottish-costume-guy]

JK Rowling, transphobia and a hopefully helpful post.

A few days ago I posted on my Facebook (yes I have one sue me) debunking some of the things Rowling has been saying on twitter. Since she made a statement I felt the need to make another one... but this time Im sharing it here. Please note this is long, it is fairly opinionated in places but her statements have felt so insidious I want to share something in depth. If you are cis I implore you to read, but I understand this is long and a lot of people wont want to. No judgement. 

Jk Rowling’s latest statement is a mess of valid concerns and fear mongering. At this point there can be no claim she doesn’t know what shes talking about - she herself has said shes been researching this for years. She throws in token acknowledgements to “real” trans people while framing the rest of her statements as concern for confused teens.So first things first - and something that might not be popular with some of my trans friends. I agree that teenagers should not be able to medically transition. It is a choice that should be made when the brain is fully mature. Hormone blockers are something I trust - and that are reversible. I have seen enough detransitioned people hurting to feel like we do need to be careful - especially with children who are trying to find themselves. I dont know about other people but during my teens I was coming to the crushing realisation that I wasn’t special. I was learning that no matter how well I painted someone else did it better, no matter how badly I hurt someone had it worse - I was learning about the wonderful mediocrity of life, and having anything that made me stand out gave a brief reprieve from learning to be okay with all these things. For me to be fair it was dying my hair outrageous colours and dressing in black leather during 30 degree summer heat - but its still something we cant forget. I KNOW a lot of kids claiming to be trans are - and I dont want to keep that from them, however I dont want to cause harm to the kids that are wrong. Continuing on, I’d like to address her comments about TERFS. Terfs are Self Described Trans-exclusionary-radical-feminists and the term does get thrown around a little too liberally at times. Terf is not and never will be a slur. No more than “White” is. It is about a group of people who have taken it open themselves to segregate another group - and calling that what it is, is not a crime. The reason Terf and transphobe have become synonomic is because the ‘radical feminists’ that subscribe to this have lost focus on nearly all other issues of feminism and sit squarely on “dropping the T” from the lgbt community and “keeping men out of womens bathrooms.” Terfs are overwhelmingly women - this is sadly simply a fact. Terfs are reviled because of how much it feels like a betrayal to the community. A group that fights for rights - except ours. A group that wants equality - except for us. Its different to the conservatives who hate us all equally - with Terfs we are singled out. Terfs are not, as Rowling claims, inclusionary to Trans-men. I’ve been met with a combination of pity, loathing, mockery and revulsion by people within this group. I’ve been told that I shouldn’t let homophobia push me into transitioning - only for all correspondence to abruptly drop when I mention Im marrying another man. I’ve been told my old body was beautiful - only for stunned silence when I agree. I was beautiful - I was curvy, I was a dancer and had a body to match - but I wasn’t Me. When their usual arguments against me fail - I’m met with hate. Im called anti-woman, traitor, homophobic. I even have some such comments saved on my blog. I have yet to meet a Terf who was pro-trans-man. Rowling claims that had she had the ability, as a confused teen, she may have sought to transition. I hate to tell her but she did have the ability and trans people didn’t pop into existence in the twenty-first century. I’m actually looking to do my dissertation topic in my final year on lgbt presentation throughout history - and in my overeager way I’ve already started researching. James Barry has been becoming a common name for years - a transgender surgeon who died in 1865. If Barry was able to at least socially transition from 1790 to 1860, I am fairly sure Rowling could have in 1980 - over a century later. Rowling also claims that groups of friends in schools all suddenly identify as trans at the same time. Speaking from my school experience - the queer kids group together. We seek out others like us, and we take strength from each others bravery to come out - often around the same time. We almost get a rush of resolve when one of our group musters the courage and strength, and some of us use that rush to bite the bullet ourselves. Its one of the beautiful ways the lgbt community is here for one another - and the influx of people identifying as trans is partially a factor of more people knowing the name of their feelings. Survivor bias will ignore the trans people through history without the knowledge or means to transition - and will claim they were never trans at all. Her initial statements about charities worry me in particular. As I said last time - we know sex is real, we just dont really like to be defined by it. She is worried that we’re going to “rebrand medicine” and ignores that medications for years have had warnings in their leaflets about “If you are or become pregnant” regardless of if the person receiving it has a dick or a vagina. We dont advocate for ignoring the differences in how people respond to heart attacks - and I for one would like research to be done on how hormones effect that. I dont actually know if I would respond more like a cis gender woman or a cis gender man if I were to have a heart attack or a stroke. But where possible we do want to change the language around some of these things. I have had a double mastectomy, but some Cis-men have these as well. This is not a gendered term. Why should a period be called anything else? Why call it a “womens problem.” I and Im sure many other trans people, support the research into how different medical and mental issues affect different sexes. I just think that should be extended further - and we know it should, as some medical issues affect people of different ethnicities in different ways and we don’t know how. I am truly sorry that Rowling has experienced abuse and assault of any nature. I am truly sorry that she has felt unsafe. But her feelings do not invalidate others experiences. Of the trans people I know, a saddening number have been assaulted, have been abused and in particular have experienced these things domestically. There is much work to be done on this in the UK. There are nearly no mens shelters for sufferers of violence to my knowledge. I, a trans man who have experienced some of these things in my teen years, would Not want to be around cisgender women even if I could be. A cis woman was responsible for much of the pain I personally suffered - and in fact one of the acts of violence she carried out against me was directly after I came out as trans to her. Trans women, even if they could go to male shelters, should not have to be surrounded by a group that put them in danger - in a place that is detrimental to them physically and mentally and is frankly degrading. The belief that allowing trans women into shelters for those escaping abuse is dangerous is sad. To be so afraid is deserving of pity. To let fear blind you to the suffering of others - to think its better that a trans woman face homelessness or a return to an abusive household because you personally would sleep better at night is the kind of passive evil we should be aware of in this day and age. It comes from choosing to see the word “trans” before “person.” Its from choosing to see a persons genitals before their humanity. Trans people are not dangerous - and cause no greater risk than any other demographic.  Her claims that she can empathise with this fear are empty. A gender recognition certificate is not a ticket into womens bathrooms. Funnily enough you dont actually require a piece of paper to go almost anywhere. I do not have a gender recognition certificate and use male bathrooms, can enter male spaces as I please. All a gender recognition certificate does is change the letter on your birth certificate. It doesn’t even affect other forms of identification - my passport, my student id, my drivers license all already say male. I am not sure why so many people have chosen this as their hill to die on because its the least relevant thing to them on the planet. How often have any of you seen another persons birth certificate? Rowling says she and other ‘gender critical’ (a terf dogwhistle) people are concerned for trans youth. Well… she can take her condescending concern and direct it to matters that are relevant to her. Trans people want to be left alone. Its a simple request, and yet people endlessly seem to trip over the dirt level bar.

#transgender #jk rowling #terf #transphobia #lgbt #uk politics #I'm prob gonna get shit for this arent I

[ok-ok2]

A formal apology for being a cringy, dumbass 15-year old that literally no one asked for but I feel bad

Hi to my like 40 followers and anyone familiar with my blog. I can’t recall exactly how long I’ve had this blog, but it’s been a couple of years at least. If you’re familiar with me at all, you know I used to be very strong on supporting truscum ideology! Many people on this site have led me to realize the flaws in that ideology and I no longer associate with the truscum ideology or community- I am now what would be called a “tucute,” if that’s still a term people use. I’ve been off tumblr for a few months so I don’t know. As far as I recall, I never harassed anyone directly for their gender or presentation, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t have negative, judgemental thoughts about other, and it doesn’t mean that my words didn’t hurt anyone. I’m genuinely sorry, and I believe that in the past few months, I have worked on becoming a better person and overcoming my biases that being a part of the truscum community has instilled in me. It’s magic how healing it can be to take a break from this hellsite. I was probably around 15 or 16, and while I’m not much older now, I still feel I have matured enough to objectively look back on my actions and take responsibility for them. I hope to only spread positive from here on out. At the time, I was dealing with some deep internalized transphobia and that was reflected in my attitudes towards others, those who were confident and presented as they wish. Ever since leaving the truscum community and leaving that ideology behind, I’ve dealt with my feelings and am comfortable enough to present femininely and still be secure in my identity as a man. I used to present as the “typical truscum,” with a hoodie, jeans, glasses, short messy hair, the whole deal. So that’s a big change. I know this is all kind of messy and poorly organized but I hope my point gets across. Being a “tucute” has done wonders for my mental health and my morality. The two are interlinked, really. Being kind to others heals the soul and helps you become a better person. Try it! It’s completely free. Anyway. Once again, I’m genuinely sorry. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t asking for forgiveness, but I know I probably hurt others, whether directly or indirectly. I contributed to a hateful and damaging ideology and I deeply regret it. I don’t blame anyone for hating me for that, and I don’t blame anyone for not forgiving me. While I want to be forgiven, I know that I don’t necessarily deserve it. Anyways, thanks for listening. bye bye

#truscum #tucute #transgender #discourse #transmed #transmedical #transtrender #apology

[joannerowlingfans]

Great article from June by Eileen Blair. Here’s some excerpts: 

“The Bodily Function Which Must Not Be Named

Daniel Radcliffe knows some things about menstruation. Recently he wrote a statement assuring us that the correct word for those who experience periods is not “women” or “girls,” but “people who menstruate.” However, when he told us this, he didn’t actually tell us this. He never used the word “menstruation,” or “period,” or “blood,” or any related word. There was no mention of clots, or cramps, or dysmenorrhea, or endometriosis. He did not name the “people who” experience these things.

Instead, Radcliffe did name author J.K. Rowling, who recently came under fire for stating the controversial opinion that the word “woman” is still of use, and that this now-contested term may even provide a more appealing way to describe human beings than “people who menstruate,” or the more streamlined “menstruator.” But while Radcliffe invoked Rowling’s name, he did not acknowledge her ideas, which she has expressed publicly in a number of tweets and in a recent essay. Instead, he opened his statement by simply insisting that there is no “in-fighting” between him and Rowling, without mentioning why anyone might think there is. He anticipated that “certain press outlets” might seize on the opportunity to report on a conflict between Radcliffe and Rowling, which they promptly did. The Guardian, the Independent, and the Times all referred to a “row” between Rowling and Radcliffe.

On social media, many enthusiastically shared Radcliffe’s statement, but I have yet to see any of Radcliffe’s fans mention that he both failed to identify the topic at hand and neglected to consider Rowling’s ideas about it. In 2020, it seems, if someone mentions Rowling, however obliquely, and with even the slightest hint that they disapprove of her for some reason they need not even state, they can count on being showered with unreserved praise.

The Menstruators Who Must Not Be Named

There is more that is not mentioned. The third sentence of Radcliffe’s statement asserts, “Transgender women are women.” Curiously, he does not go on to say, as anyone familiar with scripture would expect, “Transgender men are men, and nonbinary people are who they say they are.” In fact, there is no mention of transgender men or nonbinary people anywhere in Radcliffe’s statement, even though the ultra-specific term “people who menstruate” is intended to accommodate these groups—people who have periods who do not identify as women.

Why does Radcliffe choose this occasion to remind us that trans women are women? Trans women do not menstruate. This is why it is now considered exclusionary for those women formerly known as women to claim that menstruation is related to being a woman. That’s pretty much the point of terms like “menstruator.” By intoning “transgender women are women,” Radcliffe associates women, and only women, with the expression “people who menstruate.” This is exclusionary and transphobic. Not all women have periods, and not all who have periods identify as women.

Among those who cheered Radcliffe, I have yet to see anyone call out Radcliffe for his exclusionary and transphobic refusal to acknowledge “people who menstruate.”

The Silencing That Must Not Be Spoken Of

There is yet more that is not said. Rowling has been on the receiving end of misrepresentation and verbal abuse for over two years, simply for suggesting that women formerly known as women have the right to discuss the word “woman.” For advocating free speech, she has been derided, slurred, and even threatened.

Into the fray saunters Daniel Radcliffe, who, without any apparent effort, scribbles a few words calculated to score points with his base. His four-word magic incantation, “transgender women are women”—again, this is transphobic and exclusionary of people who menstruate—ignites passions and encourages continued demonization of Rowling. Readers need not even know what Rowling has said, for Radcliffe’s magic spell sanctifies him and positions him securely on the moral high ground. Rather than discuss menstruation, or Rowling’s point of view, he describes the discrimination young transgender and nonbinary people have self-reported. It goes without saying that this should be eradicated, but it is a diversion. Rowling, the prop he uses to display his righteousness, is at this very same moment being mercilessly bullied online and in the press. By ignoring this, by saying her name only to turn away from her, by making the sinner a foil to his own saintliness, he lazily enables those who would consign her to the online ducking stool.

Rowling has taken pains to be considerate and measured, just as women formerly known as women are still expected to do. Nevertheless, she has been described as “hateful” and “transphobic.” She has been accused of saying trans people “don’t exist.” Rowling has been called a “bitch,” a “cunt,” a “whore” (also “hoe”), and even—gasp—“a Karen.” (In reality, the offense seems to be not that Karen has demanded to speak to the manager but that she is the manager.)

As expected, Rowling is also called a “TERF.” (Rhymes with “serf.”) Proponents of “letting people be who they are” have proposed that “TERFs” like Rowling deserve to be physically assaulted or killed. One TERF-hunter calls upon a well-known veteran to do the honors: “I’d pay to watch [Charlotte] Clymer put on her army camo and shoot the TERF.” Another goes for the DIY approach: “Smack JK Rowling so hard I give that fool a lighting scar on HER forehead.” Rowling has been challenged to a duel by Tara Flik Wolf: “Oi JK rowling ow about you meet me outside! Hyde park! Lets fucking have it you cunt!” (In 2018, Wolf was convicted of assaulting Maria Maclachlan in Hyde Park in London.)

The demeaning comments are not limited to the blue circle of hell known as Twitter; otherwise reputable news outlets have also adopted the term “TERF.” Mainstream publications insist that this is not a misogynistic insult but a neutral term, an acronym radical feminists invented and applied to themselves. No matter how many times we insist that we consider this term a slur, no matter how many times we see “TERF” joined to “bitch” or “cunt,” we are informed that we have misunderstood, that this term is not intended to demean us. We really do like it, we are told. And a minute later we receive, for the 83rd time, a cartoon image with a gun pointed at us, an anime character threatening, “Shut the fuck up, TERF!”

The mainstream media has also joined in telling Rowling to “STFU.” The Washington Post says it directly in an article titled, “J.K. Rowling’s Transphobia Shows It’s Time To Put Down The Pen.” Molly Roberts informs us that Rowling is flailing; she’s a bigot; she’s even—middle-aged! And therefore obsolete. Other prominent publications have described her tweets and essay as “transphobic” or “anti-trans.” This is eerily reminiscent of how second-wave feminists were described as “man-haters.” In the 1970s, we were said to hate men. Nowadays we are said to hate trans people. Fifty years ago, we learned to speak about our bodies. Nowadays, we learn how not to.

Major advocacy organizations have issued patronizing “reminders,” as if Rowling has forgotten her lines. The Human Rights Campaign laments, “We see JK Rowling is at it again. Helpful reminder: If your feminism isn’t trans-inclusive, then it’s not feminism.” A GIF of Emma Watson as Hermione is included for no extra charge, mocking the author with her own invention.”

“Radcliffe’s statement has been applauded online by people like me: college-educated, feminist, middle-aged American women of the sort formerly known as women. I haven’t seen any of them mention the gleeful dehumanization of Rowling; nor I have I seen any of them object that Radcliffe has remained silent about the abuse, or that it was taking place as he crafted his “response.” While he is not directly responsible for others’ treatment of Rowling, he is responsible for contributing to a hostile climate, and not just among anonymous Twitter trolls.He is responsible for what he does and does not say, and for what he does and does not know (or pretends not to know).”

“The final paragraph of Radcliffe’s statement offers consolation to those who feel betrayed, who feel as though their experience of Rowling’s fiction has been sullied by Rowling’s continued existence. He assures fans that they may still be nourished by—well, by “the books,” “these stories,” and “the book that you read,” despite “these comments.” He doesn’t say whose books, whose stories, or whose comments.

The explicitly violent tweets and the contemptuous journalistic dismissals are unsettling enough on their own, and it’s troubling to think that Radcliffe’s failure even to address the matters at hand may have amplified them. But here he moves from omission to erasure. Whereas he began his statement by focusing on Rowling’s name and not her ideas, now he appropriates her ideas while refusing to utter her name. This final negation is pernicious in its own way. Radcliffe opened his statement with an acknowledgment of J.K. Rowling’s influence on his life, but just a few paragraphs later, he seems to have forgotten that he played Harry Potter in the movies based on the books rather than inventing Harry himself. At the same moment when Rowling is being “cancelled” by those who loved her books, as her former fans and even major publications demand that she surrender her agency and autonomy, Radcliffe steps in and arrogates the right to speak for “these stories.” He assures his base that they may still find meaning and solace in the books, despite the mortal sins committed by—She Whose Name Must Be Erased From The Covers Of Her Own Books. Chillingly, Radcliffe assures his readers that “nobody can touch” their experience of the books, implying that the unnamed, erased author has been purged entirely. How magnanimous of him. How inclusive.”

“I haven’t seen any complaint that Radcliffe fails to mention the trans men and nonbinary people who menstruate, or that he pretends not to know Rowling has already been fending off verbal attacks for years, or that he erases her name as he refers to “the books.” 

“Daniel Radcliffe seems to have forgotten Harry Potter began as an idea in J.K. Rowling’s head. But he wants “women” to be an idea in his own.

For all its popular appeal and re-postings, “Daniel Radcliffe Responds” does not respond to what J.K. Rowling expressed, and much is communicated by what he did not say. Radcliffe did not acknowledge the terminological issue or the content of what Rowling said about it. He did not mention the “people who” are affected by the issue or even credit Rowling as an author of “these stories.” Nor did the thirty-year-old honor Rowling as an elder who carries significant wisdom and experience—and who just might know something he doesn’t about the word “woman” or the practice of menstruation. He expressed fervent opinions about who counts as a woman, but didn’t show respect for this woman. Perhaps it is Daniel Radcliffe, not J.K. Rowling, who should “put down the pen.”

#jkr article #jkr articles #daniel radcliffe #danrad #pro jk rowling #jk rowling #i stand with jk rowling #author of harry potter #harry potter author #jkr