#Idk what else to even do though

[the-punforgiven]

Hey, I'm really sorry to have to ask y'all, but my family and I are being evicted from our home and we can't really afford to live anywhere else.

We've been saving up for a while and we've found a place we can almost afford, but we're still short about $4,400. So like, if you have anything you can do to help I'd greatly appreciate it, but like, I get that times are tough all around so I totally understand if you don't

Here's a link to my paypal, but like, please only donate if you've got the cash to spare, I don't want anyone to go hungry on my account

#I'm sorry to have to do this y'all ;-; #Idk what else to even do though #like this shabby little trailer we're looking at is like the second cheapest place in the entire town #we're getting kicked out of the first #the rent was dirt cheap due to the asbestos and ghosts and even then we could barely afford it lol #I wish I could offer emergency commissions or something but I've been so paralyzed by the stress of this whole situation #it's hard to do shit like draw and I'm afraid if I do the emergency commissions thing the stress'll just crush me #as if it hasn't been already lol #and I feel bad because there's like #so much more important shit in the world going on rn #and more important voices that need to be heard than mine #but also like #we need a place to live #y'know? #sorry for this again ;-; #pun's text posts #help

[inkskinned]

it is all chaos and entropy. the thing is that the chaos and entropy make it beautiful and lovely.

yes, it's true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is terrifying. i have lived through some of the unfairness - i got born like this, with my body caving into itself, with this ironic love of dance when i sometimes can't stand up for longer than 15 minutes. i am a poet with hands that are slowly shutting down - i can't hold a pen some days. recently i found a dead bird on our front porch. she had no visible injuries. she had just died, the way things die sometimes.

it is also true that nature and the universe are uncaring and unspecific, and that is wonderful. the sheer happenstance that makes rain turn into a rainbow. the impossible coincidence of finding your best friend. i have made so many mistakes and i have let myself down and i have harmed other people by accident. nature moves anyway. on the worst day of my life she delivers me an orange juice sunset, as if she is saying try again tomorrow.

how vast and unknowing the universe! how small we are! isn't that lovely. the universe has given us flowers and harp strings and the shape of clouds. how massive our lives are in comparison to a grasshopper. the world so bright, still undiscovered. even after 30 years of being on this earth, i learned about a new type of animal today: the dhole.

chance echoing in my life like a harmony between two people talking. do you think you and i, living in different worlds but connected through the internet - do you think we've ever seen the same butterfly? they migrate thousands of miles. it's possible, right?

how beautiful the ways we fill the vastness of space. i love that when large amounts of people are applauding in a room, they all start clapping at the same time. i love that the ocean reminds us of our mother's heartbeat. i love that out of all the colors, chlorophyll chose green. i love the coincidences. i love the places where science says i don't know, but it just happens.

"the universe doesn't care about you!" oh, i know. that's okay. i care about the universe. i will put my big stupid heart out into it and watch the universe feast on it. it is not painful. it is strange - the more love you pour into the unfeeling world, the more it feels the world loves you in return. i know it's confirmation bias. i think i'm okay if my proof of kindness is just my own body and my own spirit.

i buried the bird from our porch deep in the woods. that same day, an old friend reaches out to me and says i miss you. wherever you go, no matter how bad it gets - you try to do good.

#writeblr #warm up #i can't write rn but i have SO much words in here bc im reading the chorus of dragons books #(just started book 4) #and this woman's writing is just LIVING in my brain. let me out!!! #(i read roughly like 2-4 books a week usually bc i go on long walks with my dog but when a book is REALLY good like. it eats my life. ) #anyway ...... so like here's a story that idk i've tried to explain to other people as being wild #but maybe im the only one who thinks it is wild??? #so i play pokemon go (i just started in jan) bc i love pokemon and as i have mentioned i walk goblin for like an hour in the morning #and i don't like a lot of fitness trackers due to the fact it makes me .sad. but i also wanted the little digital rewards. enter pokemon go #anyway so they make you make friends to complete quests. so i used a reddit thread. i do not usually use reddit. i don't have an acct #i lurked. i just googled like ''pokemon go reddit '' and randomly added a bunch of numbers #i was on that page for all of 15 minutes. there are THOUSANDS of responses on that page. #here's what's wild: in that group of people. even though i am not on reddit and it was one random event once #it turns out one of those people lives in the town i live in. or at least very close. i only know this because #when we send each other gifts. it's from the same freaking area. #i can't ask them to meet up bc pokemon go doesn't have a messaging app lol but like . what are the fucking chances that #a random person posts in a random reddit thread and HAPPENS to get added by someone ELSE from their SAME TOWN #who by pure fucking CHANCE is ALSO playing pokemon go and looking for friends #i googled it there's only 42000 people in my broad region. the .......... smallness ! of the world!!!

[butterflysonnets]

yes i'm rooting for m*leven breakup because byler is neat but mostly? i'm rooting for m*leven breakup for the sake of el and mike.

to me, their romance was always a puppy love born out of a combination of social pressures, naïve curiosity, and a lack of true understanding regarding intimacy and romantic love and what it really is. it was real in that they do truly, deeply care about each other and they are close friends, maybe even shared an attraction, but a maturing romance is so much more than that. they've grown up and out of being boyfriend/girlfriend, and that's okay! i think television/film needs to show more often that most of us don't have definite "soulmates" or first childhood loves that we spend our whole lives with. it doesn't mean these relationships meant nothing and didn't impact us, it just means they've run their course and that something else is in the cards, and this is part of life!

i've always felt el was at her best and most confident self when broken up with mike, discovering who she was and what she liked alongside another girl her age instead of just relying on mike for mentorship on how to live in the real world. she deserves more of an opportunity to find herself, her autonomy, and her independence, and to love who she is, and she's made it clear she's felt insecure in the relationship with mike because she isn't being loved and understood the way she wants, needs, and deserves from someone who is her partner.

also, it's okay if mike doesn't love her in "the way he should". he is not obligated to love her romantically and stay in a relationship with her just because she's a girl, because she "needed someone", or because he cares about her a lot. he shouldn't be pressured into a romance if it's not truly coming from his heart. he deserves freedom to find out and honour who he is, too, instead of just staying in his non-functional first relationship — one he got into as a child, essentially — and defining himself that way because it's what's expected when a boy and a girl are close. he loves her in some way, yes, but it's okay if he doesn't feel comfortable or secure being her boyfriend anymore, for whatever reason that is. he's felt insecure too, and that's valid and it matters.

they are their own people and are steadily growing and changing every day. they need time to figure out who those people are, and it's become clear (at least in my opinion) that those people aren't meant to be a couple at this stage.

they deserve freedom. they deserve to grow up and be authentic to themselves and not feel like they need to lie for the sake of a relationship. they deserve to move on from this version of their relationship that isn't making them happy and rekindle the best part of their bond: their strong, beautiful friendship. they don't have to be a couple if it doesn't make them stronger and better and happier people.

i think it would be healthy and wonderful for a show, especially one consumed frequently by young adults, to show a relationship starting, progressing, and ending on good terms in this way. sometimes things don't work out, and that is okay.

#eve text #elmike #stranger things #byler #only tagging byler because i feel like yall will like this take lol #tagging tagging tagging WHAT ARE EVERYONE ELSE'S THOUGHTS #god i can't believe i'm making a post about stranger things. this feels like poking a bear #i'm not particularly anti m*leven but like... they'd have to do something pretty special at this point for me to feel like it's viable #i'm seeing the bts of s5 and it's got me Having Thoughts #elmike friendship is something i am so passionate about #even before i ever liked byler (didn't ship at all until s4 even though i knew it was a thing before) i've felt this way about elmike #i always believed they were close friends at heart and needed to break up #the romance part of them felt very distinctly young and very much “he was a boy she was a girl” to me #and it hasn't deepened into anything more mature and i don't see how it could based on the current state of the writing... #the fact that lumax exists — a young relationship that is actively maturing and is healthy — makes that clear to me #and the “love confession” in s4 and how disingenuous and miserable it felt was just the nail in the coffin #also the fact that will (who is IN LOVE with mike) was instrumental in making it happen? ... uh... okay... interesting choice… #fucked up and reductive if they make it another queer unrequited love sacrifice for the sake of pushing the heterosexual agenda YUCK #so i really hope the speculation about a m*leven breakup is real!! i think it just makes sense for their characters but who knows #i don't believe in the notion of love at first sight or one true love and i think the writers don't too??? #love to me is an accumulation of experiences and we inevitably choose it at some point rather than fall into it... but idk #tv is so fixated on keeping couples together... sometimes it's just not reality guys especially with young people... LET IT GO... #like i said though i'm not 100% sold that they're going to give up their “golden couple” LMAO #stranger things hasn't historically subverted too many tropes if i'm being honest #anyway i seriously need this season to come out quickly... i'm so bored and getting my master's is crushing my soul #i need frivolity #ALSO btw i won't respond to hateful messages about this so please don't bother. it's not that serious. this is a netflix show

[transyashiro]

sir... why are we reblogging literal children on an nsfw blog?

like, its not your art and its certainly not suggestive, but like... this is specifically a nsfw art blog... it just feels... like kinda weird? idk maybe its just me reading into everything too much but like......... its weird :/

anon, with all due respect, you are reading too much into it. yes it's mostly a nsfw blog when it comes to my art, but i reblog a lot of sfw art by other people if i think that it's something my followers will enjoy (usually sapphic and/or trans art). like, genuinely, what's the issue here? "it feels weird" did all the other sfw art feel weird to you? more importantly, what's the harm here? the original artist gets a bit of a boost, more people get to see some joyous trans art, that's all. not sure what you want me to do with your discomfort, because it feels like you're either assuming bad intentions on my (or my followers?) end or have some weird ideas about what my blog and it's purpose are

#reading this in good faith even though i probably shouldn't #“literal children” come on now #can't bring up my own art because of the boundaries i have regarding what i personally draw so i guess a random rb will do? #like i'm sorry but this reads like you would've been way less nice if you couldn't call me sir without misgendering me #if this is genuine then please sit with your feelings and examine them idk what else to tell you #as an aside. if the og artist reached out and asked me to remove their art from my blog i'd do it #but this is clearly not what this is all about #benvey's askbox

[reallilystuff]

back on my drawing bullshit or whatecer....yeag

*haves ur lock @naffeclipse* your oc. her. eel(?) looking lady. havelocked. she is. so so cool looking

pov ur about to become fish food. sleeping with the fishies tonight. uhhh what other fish related prey jokes can i make. uuuuuummm

oh yheh drawing pile task #1 out of 23568 done yippeee!!!! now i go back into my cave for the next four years

little version without the murky lighting below readmore for funsies

ɢᴜʜ ʙᴜʜ? ᴡʜᴜʜ? ʜᴜʜ ᴡʜᴜʜ? ʏᴜʜ?

#my art #not my oc #reallilystuffart #what else do i usually tag uhhhhhh gimme a sec #yea thas it. do i tag for mermaids actually #nah fuck it we ball i just wanna go to sleep rn even though its like barely afternoon #also fun fact i JUST now found out that u can use grayer tones to shade warm/cool tones #to make the opposite tone w/that shading. is this color theory or whatever its called. idk #i sound deranged trying to explain but i am SO gonna use it again #like. shading inside a bit of red shading to make it look more blue???? uhhh??? im gonna go eat im hungry

[pcktknife]

what do you think about the newest penacony story patch in hsr?

penacony numero uno. actually the best arc out of the 3 so far but sunday should kill himself*

#*i cant beat the boss what else is fuckinggggg new 🚬 #im typing this after my idk 4-6th attempt #the fact that you cant do the world level thing like you can in genshin is ass #bailus healing annoys me and gallagher...is actually pretty good for the fight i was worried taking him in but he does p well #i hate complaining about the difficulty of the game cause the reality is that im just not a stats guy and only vaguely understand how #everything goes. im better at an open world beat the shit outta everything game like genshin but i like sr more </3 #and theres so few imaginary characters. DIE #aventurine and luocha were really good but either didnt care or was saving for someone else and im paying the PRICE #asks #anon #anyways ueah penacony fire story. gallagher and misha u are the world 🫶🏾 #also it just looks really good all the maps are so nice looking #the characters are enjoyable i like how everyone plays a part and i actually cared about the story #star rail spoilers #b4 i got to the part ingame i saw mishas va on twitter give a lil thank you and i was like hes deeefinitely dying lmaoo #it was a nice ending for those 2 though bittersweet. im glad misha did get to experience the astral express even if it wasnt the one we kne #mhy

[beeduoo]

originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins

Lowkey i ate with rhis actually no i didn't i ate wirh rhat ENDER EYE Why is it so rendered Hello

IGNORW RHEIR UGLY UGLY DESIGNS This was before they switched to their iconic Skins past e didn't know......

#loosely based off of this old thing it's under the Cut #origins smp #beeduo #beeduo fanart #idk what other tags to put i cant put C because this isn't C this is O..... but like do people even check those tags idk #actually no im scared i heard theres been like three failed origins revivals i dont want to interfere with their character ecosystem i was #only there for the first one😅 #i rewatched some origins streams a little while ago oh my god theyre SO FUNNY #DUDE DOES ANUONE REMMEBER THAT ONE STREAM I COUDLNT FIND RHIS ONE STREAM #IR EAS LIKE THE ONE WHERE TUBBO WAS SINGING SUGAR BY MAROON FIVE thats all i remmeber ANF ALSO RNE can i call you senpaaiiii bit thay shit h #ad me CRYING in 2021 Please i swear this happened imnot crazy but also they might have been separate streams actuallu i dont rememebr its #been wayyyyyyy too long #BUT IT HAPPENED I PROMISE Sorry i've been gone for a while ive been very busy lots of Things going on went to Six flags then jad a surprise #bday party then i had to buy shoes for prom then Go to prom and also i do figure skating and am out like every day idknt have Time im sorry☹ #had a crepe yesterday it was sooooo goood im like learning to drive too that shit is boring as hell my dad kept gettign 😑 bc i couldn't stop #yawning DRIVING IS SO BORING its not my fault😭😭😭😭 #ok what else ohhhh. y god i locked in SO HARD for this physics essay u guys dont even knowim getting ONE HUNDRED on that trust i just really #wanted to share ok i love you bge #WAIT ACTUALLT SORRU IM LIKE REMMEBERJNG THE ORIGINS STREAMS K WAYCHED #RANBOO WAS SO FUCKING FUNNT IN THOSE STREAMS TOO LIKE I REMEMBER NIKI WANTED TO SEE THEIR BASE and tubbo was like ooh maybe we can put like #water down here for you niki we need a water system and ranwas like Do we though?I WAD WAYCHING THAT .LIKE DAMMMNNNNNN OM LIKE GIGGLING WRIT #ING THIS RIGHT NOW I CAN HEARTHE CLIP HE DID NOTTT WANT HER IJNTHEIR BASE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #I NEED TO FIDN THAT STREAM WHERE IRS LIKE TOMMY AND JACK A D FHEHRE LOKE TALKING ABOUT DUOS AND THEN JACK SAYS THE MOST OUT OF POCKET SHIT I #VE EVER HEARD LKKE I LITERALLU HAD TK PAUSE. H PHONE AND BURST OUR LAUHJIMG MY JAW WAS ON THE FLOORRRRR DO U GUYS R EME ER WTF IM TLAKING AB #OUT IDK HOW TO FIND THESE STREAMS Oh my god u really Had to be there early 2021 that was liye the funniest era of mt life i wlild be #Tearing up from lauhjimg every day I MISS WAYCHING STREAMS LIVE CHAT WAS SO FUNNY I wishe it was archivedI WISH MORE STREAMERS KEPT CHAT ON #SCREEN i defiently understand why most didn't like Wyd when chats annouing ad hell but also Me 3 years later is interested in what the pub #lic had to say.... ok Now bye

[moeblob]

Demyx (my beloved)

#kingdom hearts #demyx #honestly is there an organization member i dont like? not really tbh #ok i lied maybe one but even then i find him fascinating so even he gets a pass #demyx being such a good boy who doesnt actually care for fighting then having the whole kh3 thing #where he has the yellow eyes but still just helps the good team vaguely then dips out of the entire game #where did he go and why .... what secrets do you hold young man #i should replay kh3 cause there are things i think i remember but idk for sure #like wasnt there actually a scene where hes just... been benched for being bad at being bad or smth #i really remember a scene where either he says or someone else is like oh yeah he got benched lol #like why does he have to be so funny yet get so little screen time im dying squirtle #though for the record him just handing a mannequin to even and saying peace out for the rest of the game WAS hilarious #this is me living the best time line where not only does demyx just dip and never get mentioned from anyone #but also in an otome i played theres a route where my fave guy just also dips early on #and then in the very end some other LI asks another LI what happened to him btw like where did he go #and the another LI was like oh my god i forgot about him idk man #my favorites just making an appearance and leaving is really funny to me #these tags got super long bc im very stressed and now devoting brain power to vgs in order to not cry

[r0bita]

Everybody saying Cahara is the only character who didn't get their S ending because he would have been the only character left to have taken the girl to the depths are probably overlooking an equally, or even more, depressing implication.

Any of the playable characters would have achieved their S endings, but the girl still becomes the God of Fear and Hunger - no matter what. The girl's fate was set the moment she was born and everyone else was simply an unwilling participant in the grand scheme, even Le'garde.

#Either all the S endings matter or none of them do and everything else is just a reference to the previous game! #plus there's contradictions in almost every ending so meh? #Everytime people debate on what's canon and what's not I just give up and say ''TIME PARADOX!'' and go to bed. #or there's something meta going on idk... #fear and hunger #fear and hunger spoilers #spoilers #fear and hunger termina #one thing we do know for sure is that Le'garde will always think he's the most important character even though he keeps getting pushed asid #Once by his own daughter (unwillingly) the second time by Reila who pretty much beat him at his own game one (on purpose)

[skunkes]

I'm tearing thru this sketchbook i did 19 pages this month

#unless i do another one before march ends #im jst scribbling in here i dont think anythinf is happening though #idk i dont like what im learning #drawing very stylized makes me feel unknowledgeable...or like im not depicting what i want to depict #bc extreme iconic stylization removes that organic human warmth i wanna convey #but then the alternative is drawing too realistic (which is more evident in my trad sketchbooks) #(i know my style in general is NOT realism) #and i dont want. to be too realistic. it makes it harder to get away with certain stylization bc then it looks more obviously ''wrong'' #and out of place....aroo #AND ALSO MAKES MY WORK STIFFER!!!! i want to find a balance.... #i hate that even when i learn and ''improve'' i get no where closer to drawing how I want! alas #talkys #also running into that super confusing mindset where i look at art i enjoy and think about how if *i* drew that i wouldnt like it #i wish i had someone elses eyes so bad i dont get it

[monotonous-minutia]

5 seconds into my rewatch and I'm already crying

#idk what it is about this opera??? #i've been wanting to rewatch this (the Met 2021 recording) since i saw it the first time #but every time i think to do so i get so emotional i have to do something else instead #seeing a production i treasure so much live in cinema was just so magical #even if it is the abridged version #this opera/production has gotten me through so much #finally bringing myself to rewatch this one in honor of new year's when i saw it the first time #(though i saw it on new year's day then) #anyway there may be more cendrillonposting throughout the day #may even break out the gifmaker #been wanting to so that for a while

[tricksterlatte]

Anyone else think short form social media based on algorithms designed to promote topics that create more engagement instead of more joy, the idea of fast fashion but conveyed through social media, and the fact you can monetize suffering and outrage better than ever has largely resulted in the death spiral of media literacy and the mass emergence of bad faith readings?

#I may be venting a lil but god it blows my mind #fyp is a blessing and a curse because i don't think ppl were ever meant to be subjected to this many ppl at once #god i took a bird site hiatus for weeks and now BARELY check it and it already feels like a hit #oughhhhh #even fandom spaces have hugely incorporated marketing and networking into them bc of cmms and sponsorship and building portfolio #which would be fine tbh if it weren't for the way socmed is designed #now it's like you can't support too many ppl or else you're shadow banned or you have to make yourself palatable and marketable #and websites with threads in which people will only read the first post before qrting because ratios are seen as five minutes of fame #features that permit beating an algorithm are locked behind a paywall that promises you money if you go viral #and what goes viral is usually incendiary content meant for those ratios or trends. whether for or against OP #even in hobbyist spaces the climate has changed so much due to the monetization and marketing and just. ugh #not to mention side accounts dedicated to gossip in this new priv account culture like...idk #if you have to make another account so you can make fun of a friend on main with selected priv friends it just doesn't sit well with me #and not every priv account does this but enough do and it makes me tired #unsolicited hate comments are still as bad as they used to be on ff dot net except now people openly are proud of it more #why do most socmed feel like passive aggressive sticky notes on high school lockers #there is so much more I could say about everything that has left me weary about the internet but I don't know the time or place #and I don't want anyone to think this is about them because it's a general statement. though if you are doing the more inflammatory things. #maybe rethink that. it's not good for anyone else and it's not good for you either #I keep coming back online to check on ppl and see art and I *know* it's draining for my health every time #but I feel a lot better now that i use socmed less overall. and that I try to focus on what makes me happy #it just sucks seeing so many people i care about endure absolutely wild struggles bc people online do not care. #I like rambling in my tags because this is the only place I ramble except my personal journal and to my wife

[lemongogo]

me admitting that i dont hate ast*rion after all .

#like him.even . maybe. #i just drew him and i was like teehee~kicks feet and giggles and thenni remembered who this was and #my face morphed in2 thousand yard stare guy #IM SRYYY IM SRRYYYYY #IM FALLIBLE !! #wat do u want from me. if its good taste in characters wwll. u r in tha wrong place . #though i do think its bc like . like tell me why he has 90x the content of anyone else #if i hear wyll say well met one more time im gna blow up our camp.IM SOOOz give me something anything pelase please #like he’ll have nothing for 30 long rests save for a line here or there #but astarion will just want to chat u up every night like can u equal it out please pls ❤️ karlach even . #anyways . i hate gale tho HATE GALE . GALE HATERRR ☝️☝️☝️☝️ #idk if its because i found him last or what but atp i dont care to get to know him #this game is legit saur fun . the exploration especially #like i spend 90% of my time opening every vase and crate and reanimating the dead on every1.talking to all the animalz #speak w the dead* i mean #also just rhe potential 4 the funniest mistakes ever #when auntie ethel disguised herself as mayrina in fromt of my eyes i didnt process it and killed her indtead of ethel HAHAAGAHAHAHAHHA #like the sjock of messing smth up so badly but u cant do shit abt it like ok!i guess ! #karlach pushing 1hp shadowheart in2 firepitcon accident and killing her . happy family❤️🫶 #bg3

[ganondoodle]

just after i crawled my way out of that 'art-low' and i got myself excited to work on the rough draft for chapter2- i suddendly just crash and burn again bc i cant get the thought out of my head that im not a good writer either actually and my ideas are comically boring

do i really have to fight my own brain over and over again for the rest of my life (ㆆ_ㆆ)

#ganondoodles talks #random #i dont want to keep sounding so self pitying #sometimes i can fight these feeling #but sometiems it just feels like you just realized the truth about yourself #so fighting that is just lying to yourself #and i feel like im being so ungrateful everytime i feel like shit #bc i know there are people that like what i do #and just bc there are people that are better at everything that im doing or aspiring to do doesnt mean im useless #BUT IT ALSO FEELS LIKE IM WASTING MY TIME #even thoguh funnnily enough i wouldnt even know what WOULDNT be a waste of time bc ...... #i dont ... have anything else #if you take away art and writing theres nothing left of me #kinda not surprising then that i keep accidentally tying my feeling of worth to the receiption of what i post #................ and losing followers in the hundreds on twitter espeically doesnt exactly help #though that is mostly bc im rting a ton of info about palestine and tbh idk if i would want people following me that are zionists or simila #still feels bad #AND I KNOW WHAT MY BRAIN IS TELLING ME IS WRONG OR IT SHOULDNT MATTER #but it still feels real #im so tired of fighting myself

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

why is everything (showing other people respect. being patient and kind. not flying off the handle about stupid things. emotional regulation and self-control. et cetera.) so easy when I'm not around my parents and so so so so hard when I AM around them?

#this is a genuine question btw I need advice bc I'm STRUGGLING. idk why everything makes me frustrated and angry #when I'm around my parents and it's SO hard to be kind and respectful to them and my sister #but so easy literally everywhere else #I hate that I'm like this I wish I could genuinely be a nice person but apparently the person #I REALLY am is the horrible selfish lazy brat I am with my parents. #even though it feels 100% easier otherwise APPARENTLY the real me is the one I revert to at home #but being nice away from home comes so naturally?? so is THAT the real me??? idk what to do I'm so frustrated right now #Lu rambles #can my mutuals please weigh in bc I feel like a terrible horrible emotionally illiterate person rn #bc of a conversation in which I fought with my mom over the fact that I have a hard time respecting my middle school aged sister #bc I don't want her (bold. confident. sometimes a little bit of a brat as well bc humanity) thinking she can walk all over me #the way she acts always makes me feel like she thinks she's better than me but maybe it's just my mindset. bc I KNOW #that my middle schooler sister IS better than me in most ways and I HATE that. how can someone #so much younger than me be better than me at basically everything she sets her mind to? #and how can I ever have confidence in myself when I know that's the case??? it's so frustrating!! #ugghdnfnsngsmkgnskfnskd I need advice and prayers. and probably to go to bed early tonight.

[medichamcham]

(wistful sigh) sometimes i do wish more ppl shipped orbitshipping... wah wah .

#medi.txt #i can only do so much when it comes to making fan content i guess . #i cant stand my own work tbh and i solely enjoy giorose art thats made by others #but obviously theres not a lot of it. so i have to cook for myself even though i cant really eat my own food lol #i just adore them so much and i wish that same feeling clicked for others too lmao. maybe enough for them to create fanworks for them #and that these others also find how much they have in common if you looked closely. idk. but what do i know. #and what else can i do. ill just continue to draw them until i have lost all interest in them LOOOOOL which is. not any time soon... #im hella doomed. anyway yeah