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enchanted--realm · 3 years

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When Calls The Heart Live Rambles

S8 ep8 Parades and Charades (or something like that)

My gosh this episode is perhaps the best one we've had all season, and by that I just mean that Elizabeth actually had screen time, and she had actual lines, and she was part of plot that is relevant to h e r. Finally, the main character actually felt like the main character. HOWEVER, she is not very likeable in this episode, I must say (she hasn't been likeable for a while but you know)

The start of the episode when Elizabeth comes off her horse and she tries to talk to Nathan. I'm so glad that Nathan is firm even when Elizabeth doesnt like it. And he's not mean about it, he just tries to be honest while protecting himself and Allie from getting hurt even more. I honestly just love it when Elizabeth and Nathan have disagreements in general because when they do have arguments, it's usually because someone's feelings are showing and then it resolves in having made good progress in deepening their relationship. Elizabeth was totally out of line during that conversation btw. 'Now you're just being hurtful', um says the woman who rejected this man's love proposal and is now hurt that his niece didn't want to invite her to her very important and personal adoption ceremony...wow Elizabeth you really be asking for a lot. And then she's upset that he has to ride off to take care of mountie business. Yes, Elizabeth, this man has a job to do and your conversation will have to wait, sorry girlfriend.

When Nathan told Lucas to 'Save it' haha! Though I enjoyed it, I hope they don't write Lucas and Nathan to turn into enemies bc they are both pining for Elizabeth. It seems like it's headed in that direction based off of their dialogue throughout this episode. I guess it's understandable since Nathan has already been rejected and isn't backing down while Lucas and Elizabeth are a more official item. Okay, yeah, I understand it, but I don't want it to go too far *thinks back to the Lucas and Elizabeth in the rain scene* I guess I can't hope for that with this show. And later on when Lucas was talking to Nathan about how he should be thinking more of Allie and not getting her hurt. Ooooh I wanted to slap that fool. Who is he to be talking about Allie, he doesnt know anything about their relationship and he had no right to bring her up. Ugh that made me so angry.

Lucas's office. May I just say. Daaang. That's some nice, fancy office he's got there. Beautiful, absolutely beautiful. They were planning this reveal for a long time I bet to make Lucas look more attractive in this love triangle. And let me say, that first scene with Elizabeth in Lucas's office finally made me understand what Elizabeth see's in this guy. We were finally shown a glimpse into Lucas's daily life and how he handles business. Elizabeth comes in wanting to talk, but he has to be on the phone bc, ya know, the guy has to work, and we see him taking care of his responsibilities instead of pining over Elizabeth. Usually, in every scene that involves Elizabeth and Lucas, he's typically able to give her his full attention and the entire scene is about him wanting to win her favor. But finally we have a scene where he isn't just there to win her heart and he has to tell her, 'sorry, but can we do this later?' And bc of that the dinner invite didnt come across too forward and it made sense bc they had things to talk about. The scene just really built up a new side to Lucas's character that I felt we hadn't seen yet and that was lacking. He actually feels like a character with an independent purpose now. And of course I didn't forget. The French. Yeah it was both attractive and again added to Lucas's character. I'm sure the Lucas shippers are drooling right now. And on a more serious note, his French sounded very good and I actually just looked it up Chris McNally speaks French so...yeah very cool. But Elizabeth's French when she was saying goodbye at the door...oh how cringey. I mean she spoke well too, but it was just unnecessary and oh I cringed so hard when she did that.

When she went back to his office later...oh no. He said he didnt feel up to having dinner together, and then she still didnt leave him alone and was like, well I can stay and we can just talk. Um, no Elizabeth, the man just said he didnt want to talk right now, but I guess since it's not talking over dinner then it's okay??? And she patted the cushion for him to join her on that teeny tiny little bench. Yo, there was no room for two there. They were pressed up against each other so much it was so awkward to watch. I mean that was like being forced to sit in the two-seater bus seat when clearly there's only room for one. And then the hand hold...yuck, and the deep breath like they were both being tempted...eeh, and then he kissed her hand...ooh. He had to tell her to go bc he wanted to remain a patient man. I'm glad he told her, I'm not surprised that happened. Come on Elizabeth, give the man a break. I mean what did you think would happen when you asked him to sit right next to you on that tiny bench for one. Omg and she fanned herself after exiting. She likes him that much?? Or she's trying to make love form from a purely physical attraction.

I really don't like the whole Rachel and Christopher romance. Maybe I would like it and believe it more if the actors actually looked like teenagers. I mean, Rachel does not look 17, especially since we regularly see child actors on the show in school and they are entering their teens, if they aren't teens already. When comparing a kid like Anna to Rachel, Rachel just seems way to old for 17.

I love how we see Allie's side to this love triangle plot. I loved the scene between her and Elizabeth in the school house. I liked that we were finally having a discussion between just them, and then Elizabeth opens the invitation! I laughed so hard! The pop up of Nathan in his mountie uniform and Elizabeth at the dinner table. Oh that was so funny! and also adorable. Allie wasn't taking any of it, yo she said *Fine and she snatched that invitation back and she tore it up. I was yelling at my tv, yes Allie you tell her!

When Elizabeth approached Nathan at the parade...come on E. That was not the time or place. Again, I like that they have these conversations and disagreements, but the writing of that dialogue was just so bad I thought. It was so awkward sounding and the pacing just felt off. It really didnt flow and I wonder if the writers were running out of time or something. When Nathan said that Allie is afraid to talk to Elizabeth without him present...oh that hurt inside. I feel so sorry for Allie, she's so hurt by all this I just want to make everything better for her. I like that Elizabeth's concern for Allie is at the forefront bc it's like her and Nathan are the concerned parents, but since Elizabeth rejected Nathan (and therefore Allie too) she really has no right to demand a say in how to help Allie feel better. Elizabeth isnt part of the family unit and Allie is solely Nathan's responsibility. I really liked Erin's acting in the way we could see the moment where Elizabeth thought back to her conversation with Rosemary and decided right then and there that she had to ask Nathan what it was he wasnt telling her. I'm kind of disappointed in the secret though. I had made that prediction, but thought it was just too much and unnecessary drama...and then of course that's what it was. I have no clue how this will play out. I can't even remember the preview for next week. Anyway, overall, Elizabeth central, but also Elizabeth's annoying. Lucas shippers finally have something of substance...sort of. And as usual Nathan and Allie steal the show and I couldn't love them more.

#when calls the heart #wcth season 8 #when calls the heart live

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thirst-order-confessions-renewed · 4 years

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The Two Tragic Times Fae Met Kylo Ren at Disneyland

Okay so I figured I had to tell these stories here because there are a lot of people who were like “YAY I MET KYLO” and I am just...flabbergasted because I was like “am I the only person in the world actually traumatized by Kylo Ren” The answer to that seems to be ‘yes absolutely’ and I will tell you why.

So, some background about me, I never really liked character meet and greets. I’m awkward, I never know what to say ESPECIALLY to characters who can actually speak to me. I cannot converse with people in real life, why the hell could I converse with people getting paid to LARP with me. I just...cannot do it. I will not. But Goofy? Sure, I’ll give that big dorky bastard a hug.

Fast forward to the first time I met Kylo Ren. @imagines-in-a-galaxy-farfar-away was visiting me and we went to Disneyland like the DAY AFTER The Last Jedi came out. She had a Polaroid camera and she wanted me to take a picture of her and Kylo with the camera and I was like “hhhhhhhh sure”. KNOWING I was gonna be incredibly nervous. So I sucked it up and we went in there and of COURSE Kylo was a massive bully. He got in my face, stared me down, VERY invasive shit which I DONT DISAGREE WITH. I was like “yeah, you know what? Kylo IS a massive dick so I’m okay.” THAT DIDNT STOP ME FROM FREAKING OUT THOUGH. I was literally shaking holding the camera. The cast members in the room were like “Would you like to be in the picture?” and I’m like “N-N-N-NO I-I’M G-F-GOOD IM J-JUST GONNA T-TAKE THIS -P-P-P-POLAROID” So I did, the picture is Hailee’s favorite and everything was fine. I needed to take 30 minutes to lower my heart rate, and I was okay.

BUT THE NEXT TIME.......you guys need to buckle up because this is where it gets UN. REAL.

Fast forward to 2019. Hailee is back in town with her whole family and she wants to meet Rey because she was new that year. And I was like “eeehhhhhh” and Hailee was like “dude, Rey’s a good guy she’s not gonna be a dick” and I’m like “EHHHHHHHH” so I was like “Fine, you know what? You’re right, Rey would NEVER be a dick to me.” (I was kinda wrong about that, but that’s not important lmfao. She was VERY Resistance and did NOT appreciate my Stormtrooper backpack.)

Then, as we were coming out of the Rey room, we were walking about the Landing Bay and she noticed that Kylo had no line. And it was at that moment, we realized the entire Landing Bay was practically deserted. Hailee, being the regular, fully functioning individual she is wanted to see Kylo and she’s like “I’m not gonna make you go in there, but I’ll be right back.” and I was like “great, cool, I’ll sit on this bench.”

Now, I need to set the scene. The Landing Bay, if you’ve ever been inside is a circular building where Innoventions used to be (for all you Disneyphiles). There’s a staircase that goes up to a second level that was, before it was Launch Bay, was a Marvel section that even featured Disney Infinity 3.0 (I worked on that game!) So at the ground floor level of this huge, solid wall stair case are benches that face into each unique area of the Launch Bay. The Dark Side meet and greets are directly adjacent to one of these benches about 30 yards away give or take . This bench looks directly towards the empty lines for Darth Vader and Kylo Ren. And if you’ve ever been inside those meet and greet rooms they are basically a set-dressed photo studio, but a VERY small space with a waiting area where the character comes to you and then brings you in to interact with you and in Kylo’s case, be an absolute dick to you beyond reason. More on that later.

So the Landing bay is currently empty. I will see two people in the next 5-7 minutes, none of which will witness what’s about to happen.

I’m sitting by myself on this bench, and my legs are SHAKING. As an anxious person, I’m imagining all of the possible scenarios happening inside. The FIRST thing I thought of was “I bet you anything Hailee outed me as being a weenie about meet and greets” (which she HAD done with Rey. Hailee I love you and the embarrassment I bear from that will never leave me) So I immediately text the group chat of my coworkers about it and as I’m texting frantically, my phone starts ringing.

It’s Hailee.

In that moment, I was livid. I was like “really this bitch is going to call me when I KNOW she’s in there with that asshole Kylo, like some friend” and I ALMOST let it go to voicemail, but in a flurry of bravery, I answered the phone and was like “Hailee, knock it off, this is NOT funny. DONT.” and I hung up and then I got REALLY scared because I didn’t hear ANYTHING on the other line.

And here’s where it gets ridiculous.

Remember, the Landing Bay is empty. At this point, I see the first set of people, a German family with two children happily skipping by me. As soon as they’re gone, the door to Kylo Ren’s meet and greet area opens. And I know this because there’s a light on the other side of it, I can see it as the door opens. Kylo appears in the doorway.

KYLO REN. APPEARS. IN. THE. DOOR. WAY.

I freeze. No movement in every possible inch of my body, I actually cannot move. I’m staring at him, he’s staring at me. The Landing Bay is empty. We stay like that for about ten seconds and he gestures for me to come.

By this point, I’m visibly shaking. I’m now holding my phone in a death grip and my palms are sweating so badly it’s gonna slip out of my hand like a fucking bar of soap. I shake my head. I cannot even speak, I just. NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE.

then he glares at me. STILL! THERE’S NO ONE AROUND. NO ONE IS WITNESSING THIS EXCEPT FOR ME AND MUTHERFUCKING ASSHOLE KYLO REN. So after he glares at me, He does that thing he always does in all the fanfiction where his cape goes woosh and he’s gone.

So the door closes and then I immediately break down. Full blown panic attack, shaking, soundless crying, tears start POURING down my face. At this point, I see the second soul in the Landing Bay, a very adorably dressed girl with a parasol heading also to the Kylo Ren line, who is promptly taken into the waiting area by the cast member. She did not see this either.

Minutes later, Hailee appears from the exit side looking mildly concerned. She sees me crying and she’s like “oh my god what happened” and I E X P L O D E into tears like ‘how could you DO THIS TO ME it WASNT FUNNY’. And she sat down next to me and says:

“You are not going to believe what I’m about to tell you.”

According to Hailee, without her Polaroid, she asked the Cast Member to use her phone to take her picture. It was at this point she mentioned, to not my surprise at ALL, that she DID have someone else here with her, but she was sitting outside (me) and that if I were there, I’d be the one to take then picture.

So here’s where it gets weird because I only have half of this interaction: According to Hailee (who I love and trust with my whole life), Kylo demanded she contact me. Hailee politely declined, however he REMOVED her phone from her hand, DEMANDED she tell him which contact I was, dialed the number, PUT ME ON SPEAKERPHONE.

So. EVERYONE in that TINY ASS ROOM, Kylo’s handler, the photographer, Hailee, K Y L O FUCKING R E N. Heard me HOLDING BACK TEARS saying “KNOCK IT OFF THIS ISN”T FUNNY”

You know the rest, he storms out, stares me down,(threatens me, really), then disappears. He leaves a video message for me, which Hailee spared me from and then released her.

It took me an HOUR AND FORTY-FIVE minutes to feel myself again after that. Hailee felt SO...BAD about it, it absolutely put a damper on our day.

And that is why if I ever see Kylo walking about Galaxy’s Edge, there will be a Fae-shaped hole in the nearest blast door and I will be G O N E. I am not expecting anyone to believe a goddamn word of this because it’s truly insane, but cross my fucking heart, swear to die this actually happened.

Anyway thanks for coming to my TedTALK

#mod fae #tocr shenanigans #tocr storytime #staff ramblings #kylo ren #disneyland

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zepdeans · 5 years

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there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)

ep1 -isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please -LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS -isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace...... -isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on -isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well -”c00l” isak. i hate u so much -honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL) -even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd ep2 -there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what -i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love -isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys -the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic -not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j > -i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters -even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id) -”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff -when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh -”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i- -the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic

ep3 -mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u -even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd -how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic] -whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf -yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u -im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence -is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016) -idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!

ep4 -i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes -even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow -parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :( -”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life -I wanted to be with you aloneeeee -even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director -how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!! -even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em -when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy -even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal

ep5 -ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :(( -even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream -isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :( -taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus, -im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one -MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM -what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks) -even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip -not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night -speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :( -bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it -ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good

ep6 -never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew -i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!! -i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words?? -and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))

ep7 -weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo) -”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak -jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’) -maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”) -mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend -’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos -isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker -also. another stellar look from valtersen -slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE -eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)

ep8 -this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow?? -literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!! -sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much -also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!! -magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew -isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3 -no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me) -you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo -isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much -when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly

ep9 -ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up -cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart -”wait they have waffles here? see ya” -this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!] -det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry -isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3 -o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so. -jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3

ep10 -minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even -not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself? -i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being -and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :( -lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls -like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3 -isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!! -isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible -i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties -even and linn friendship!!!! -cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating) -I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS* -im the fucking master of lying 😤 -literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time -I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL -also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen -halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz -literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them -No filter! wow I love symbolism -so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :) -the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww -take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius -who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can -literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen -biology partner. and friend. ;-; -even literally is the biggest stoner blease -isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES -livet er nå 💛

final thoughts :( <3 -this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart. -julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life -this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on) -literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime -s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>> -don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life

#take a shot every time i say whew #fully put more effort and time into this than most of my uni projects xx #its super rambly but thats bc its mostly just my direct stream of thought #also super long! and probably still missing things i wanted to say #AND like 3 weeks late fshfjjkdjkfsd #skam #clownfest 2019 #blabbey

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plusultrachaos · 6 years

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i sometimes wish id never been born at all

prompt: dan, one day, wishes hed never been born. he is then visited by a "ghost" (another youtuber) who shows dan everybodys lives if he was never born. dan doesnt believe that anything is worse off until they show phils life which is simply a gravestone.

A/N: i did change somethings from the prompt. i also envisioned the prompt as something similar to the Scrooge.

word count: 2113

genre: angst and if you squint fluff

tw: there are mentions and a viewing of two suicides (the viewing is against dans will and is only on one of two suicides) there are mentions of depression and bullying. if this is something that could trigger, harm, or cause you pain of any kind, i recommend not reading this oneshot.

________________

its one of dans bad days. its one of the bad days where hes trying to be social, at least talk to phil some, maybe a bit of action on social media, before his inevitable departure from society and hopefully his own exsistance for a little while.

while hes browsing on said social media, he feels phil leaning toward him and picking something from under dans eye, pulling his hand away to reveal a small, thick eyelash.

"howd you even notice that, phil?" his voice was soft, fond, and holding no surprise at phils ability to notice the little details.

"make a wish and i might tell you." phil wore a teasing smile as he failed to wink, the corners of his mouth crinkling, showing the smile wrinkles that had developed as the years of their friendship passed.

'i wish i were never born' was the wish dan had made, he wanted to go hide away, hide the wish hed made in his brain to echo there for hours. everybodys lives would be better, easier, if he hadnt been born in the first place, all the haters wouldnt have to hate him in the first place. phil would probably be further in life. his family wouldnt have him as a disappointment.

"i have to go to my room." he looked at phil, whos face was still in sort of close proximity to his own face. he didnt say why, or what he was going to do once in there, but phil knew him well enough to understand why the younger man had been quiet the entirety of him being up and out of his room, why he hadnt laughed at a single funny thing that phil had shown him.

"okay. remember to drink water and come out of there when you need food, okay?" phils eyes held the usual, useless, concern that dan knew phil didnt actually feel. dan wasnt worth the concern and he definitely did not deserve the concern or a friend like phil at all.

he nodded, knowing that if phil didnt actually see dan out of the room to get food or water, hed personally bring the food and drink to dan. dan got up and numbly left the lounge for his room. he left his laptop there, knowing he wouldnt need it the next few days or so.

he collapsed on his bed, his thoughts going on about him being worthless and a disappointment, along with other degrading things. he turned his phone off, setting it on his nightstand. he curled up into a ball and became even more numb to the world. when he fell asleep? dan wouldnt have been able to tell you.

when dan woke up, it felt weird. it felt like what his lucid dreams used to feel like when hed been a kid. he also didnt feel as he did when he assumed hed fallen asleep, furthuring the feeling of this being weird and unusual. well, those things, and the youtube god himself, pewdiepie, or felix as hed told dan and phil to call him when theyd met up in the past, standing at the end of dans bed.

"felix? why are you in my room?" he was slightly creeped out. he only ever really saw felix at youtube events anymore, and even then, it wasnt much.

"i know who this felix person is, but i am not him. i am the ghost of youtubers past." felix, or rather the ghost, said, the voice was eerily similar to felix' and it creeped dan out further. "recently, youve wished for something along the lines of never being born at all, am i correct to say this?"

"yeah, but hold up, why in bloody hell are you in my -me and phils- flat? howd you even get in?" dan looked confused, he was staying as far as he possibly could be from felix, or the ghost or whatever the fuck it was, which meant he was huddled against the headboard of his bed. "what has my stupid eyelash wish have got to do with any of this?"

"daniel, im here to show you how your friends and family would have really been if you hadnt been born. you see, your thoughts after the wish, about everybody being better off without you, were mostly wrong. your family, that thought, was the only one that was partially correct. yes, if they didnt have you as their son, all of the things that you think they think of you would disappear, but they would have still had two children. your grandma wouldve been just as close with them as she was to you." then suddenly, at the end of the ghosts words, dans room transformed, his fairylights and comfortable bed morphing into something else. all dan could do was watch.

his surroundings had changed into a huge decorated and lit up christmas tree with wrapped gifts underneath. there were two children, a teenaged girl and a younger boy, perhaps a toddler, pulling at a christmas cracker. when the young boy ended up getting the bigger end of the game, the older sister said "happy christmas!" with fondness that made dans heart ache. the siblings looked close, and happy. happier than dan and his younger brother had been at those ages. it made dan long for that kind of relationship with the lad. it also brought a bitter taste and thoughts to dan. the girl, for obvious reasons, wasnt dan. their mannerisms very different, her smile lacking a dimple.

"yazzy, go help your mum in the kitchen." an old woman, that dan immediately recognized as his (or rather not his) grandma, walked in to the room. he hadnt visited the kind, aging woman in years, and seeing this made him feel guilty.

he turned to the ghost, tears forming and wetting his eyes. "can we leave? i already knew i was insignificant in their lives." he said this, his voice small as he looked away from the scene playing out before him. the ghost nodded and then they were in a different location once again.

it was his friend, louises current home. but it was empty, no baby toys or anything in the flat hed gotten used to being busy.

"louises success mightve been all her, but you helped in the process, being there when she needed a friend. she didnt have darcy because she never met her partner." the ghost said this with a grim look. dan looked around, sad eyes gazing everywhere. it was then he realized he hadnt rung up louise in weeks.

"fuck..." was dans whispered response to the situation.

the location faded again, taking them to a park. pj sat on the bench in front of dan and the ghost. he was talking to people that dan didnt recognize. "pj and chris never became a couple because you werent there to help them realize their feelings for each other." dan looked down at the ghosts words. they stung, knowing his friends hadnt gotten together just because dan hadnt been born.

" and chris? what would his fate have been if id never been around?" the ghost pointed at a man walking behind them, talking on the phone. he didnt spare pj a single look.

"without your constant encouragement, he dropped youtube. he got an office job and quickly climbed the ranks." the words sounded sad.

the location changed yet again, to a sight he never wanted to see again. they were in an unfamiliar bedroom, it was dark and there was an even darker silhouette hanging from a ceiling fan. dan feared the worst. the sight of it made dan want to curl into a ball. there was pounding on the closed door.

dan watched in silence, mouth open in a silent cry as the parents of the silhouette opened the door. the mother fell into the fathers arms, crying loudly. the father was frozen, terror shining in his eyes as he took in the sight of the cold and lifeless body. the room faded into a plain, white room that had no soothing qualities to dan.

"that was ben. in a world with you in it, he would have found the courage to come out as a transmale and gay. without you, he never learned of his parents acceptance. he wouldve committed suicide if not for your videos." the ghost said this softly, its eyes sad. "this is the sad reality of the fans. some are not in good situations and so they turn to youtube for an escape. without your videos, a lot of fans dont have that escape." dans face grew even more sad as he realized that had been the same reality that he had faced before becoming a youtuber.

"and phil? what would have happened to him?" this question had been on his mind the entire time they had been in this weird dreamland. the ghosts already sad face saddened even more and the scenery changed once again.

dan looked confused as his eyes wondered around the area. they were in a graveyard in the middle of the day. except dan couldnt see any services being held that phil wouldve attended.

"where is he? why are we in a graveyard?" his questions were frantic as he continued searching for the wonderous blue-yellow-green eyes and the dyed black hair of his best friend. then his gaze landed on the gravestone of the grave they were in front of. he dropped to his knees, his face blank as he read the stone.

Here lies

Philip Michael Lester

January 30th, 1987-June 22nd, 2012

He was loved dearly by fans, friends, and family.

"phil didnt have a number one fan to skype him to take his mind off his problems, to correct him when he thought of how weird he was and how weird everybody was bound to think of him."

"unique. phil is unique, not weird." dan corrected without hesitation.

"that is what i mean when i say that. he didnt have somebody to do that when youtube comments started telling him he was weird. he didnt have someone to be an iconic duo with. he killed himself when it all got to be too much." the ghost went quiet after telling that to dan, most likely letting the man grieve his best friend.

dan had started sobbing loudly. "n...no no no. take me home, this cant be real, this is not real." he whimpered, his eyes were screwed shut as he sobbed over the possibility of his optimistic, cheery best friend taking his life. he missed the transformation of the landscape, still sobbing loudly by the time hed been back in the comfort of his bedroom.

the ghost was no longer there and there was loud knocking. and to dans relief, phil called out his name with concern that dan was now certain was genuine. phil came in, rushing to the side of the monochrome bed to take the brown haired crying man into his arms. he knew better than to ask what was wrong right away, so he just held him.

"phil, promise me you wont believe people when they say hateful things toward you?" he asked this in a panicked rush, his words stuttered as he looked with terrified eyes at phil.

" i promise." phil held dan close, the sound of his heartbeat tethering dan to reality.

"i had a dream." dan proceeded to tell phil about what hed wished and then about the dream he had afterward. when he was done, phil held him. dan was still crying, but it had subsided a lot with the knowledge of phil being alive. "im sorry, phil. i know i shouldnt have wished for something so morbid and sad, but it was before an episode and i cant control my thoughts during those." he cuddled to phils chest, sniffling.

" dan, you know i love you. you know im always going to be here to support and comfort you." phils voice was soft and supportive, deep unlike what the viewers usually heard. "you dont have to apologize at all for the way your brain works, just like i dont. im glad you realized that that wasnt real, but i dont want you thinking that i wouldve been better off without you because i wouldnt be as far as i am today if i didnt have you by my side. dont ever tell yourself otherwise." he smiled his amazing smile that was saved just for dan.

dan leaned into phils chest, breathing in the comforting scent. he sighed as he realized that life would be better with him and phil still alive.

____________________

i did end up mentioning dans family, but i only did briefly dont hate me.

#daniel howell angst #daniel howell #phil lester #dan and phil #dip and pip #phanfic #phandom #amazing phil #danisnotonfire #phan angst #phan au #slight phan fluff

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whatintheworldamiwatching-blog · 7 years

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POST NUMERO UNO : ZOE GONE

Two seconds in and I know this is not the typical teen lifetime movie. Long gone are the days of Tori Spelling and Fred Savage! New Lifetime movie, same story! I am a fan of Lifetime and i obsess over the dramatic music and tangled plots! My favorite Lifetime theme? TEEN PREGNANCY. So many iconic Lifetime movies in the "babies having babies" genre. No one plays a young mother quite like Kirsten Dunst! Back to the movie... We start with a young mother , Jennifer, and her young baby! What's the kid's name again? Randy (the father) is a bit of a jerk and refuses to acknowledge his child! Jennifer and her own mother spend a large portion of the first thirty minutes arguing. Her mother als had Jennifer at a young age and hates that her daughter is now in the same situation! Did I mention Randy doesn't pay child support? All seems well until an angst you Jennifer sneaks out to party with her friend. While at the party, Jen spots ol Randy lip locking with someone else! Things do NOT end well. Skip to the next important scene! Jennifer has met Randy at the park. He walks over to her bench and she exclaims "just give me the check!" YES JENNIFER GET THAT CHILD SUPPORT CHECK AND THEN GO HOME YOU DONT OWE HIM ANYTHING However, Randy feels otherwise! He seems to forgot something in his truck... He runs to the truck... He runs back... He brought Jennifer... FLOWERS. Flowers? FLOWERS! The two spend the next couple of seconds fawning over their newly found love but HEY WHY ISNT THAT GENERIC TRACK OF BABIES CRYING PLAYING... Jennifer then turns and shouts for baby Zoe! She is no longer here yet her stroller and hat are! Somehow the same friend for the party is back and there's a detective in a great navy blazer when WHO COMES SCREAMING LIKE A MAD WOMAN? Jennifer's mom! She is reacting how any sane adult would react. WHAT HAPPENED AND HOW COULD YOU? The detective then intervenes between mom and daughter. She's right. This isn't going to get them anywhere. Did I mention Jennifer (the teenager, not the baby) has a stepdad? He and Jennifer share a warm moment. He reassured her that everything will be okay. Fast forward to Jennifer passing out flyers. Everything seems to be going okay until Detective Camel Trench tells us that a body has been found. The body also happens to be that of a baby. I am at the edge of this hospital recliner when this movie is interrupted by a commercial with a woman telling me u can also fast teach my career if I attend Colorado Technical Institute of Phoenix or something! BORING! Back to the baby! Was the body Zoe's? Maybe just a Zoe look alike? MAYBE IT WAS A PROP MEANT TO DISTRACT FROM ZOE'S DISSAPEARANCE? PERHAPS PLANTED BY RANDY? I highly suspect Randy has something to do with this. I just get that vibe from him. TAMPON COMMERCIALS! ERICTILE DISFUNCTION! And we're back! Jennifer has just been informed and who runs up to hold her... JENNIFER'S MOM! That woman is everywhere and nowhere! She must've be saving people from burning buildings in Gotham! We see squads of cop cars drive past them when Jennifer and her mom zoom past them in their car! They want to know if it's baby Zoe! Detective Beach Waves informs us.... IT IS NOT ZOE. Baby lives to fight another day! HOLD UP. What IS THIS? Some girl with bad Maybelline dye box red hair is buying diapers at a convenient store? This cashier is being far too chatty! "How many kids you got?" GIRL. Who cares? WAIT... FOUR KIDS. Now this girl with the bad dye job has a flyer of Zoe and she crumbles it and throws it! HEY! The safety of Zoe depends on that yellow flyer. Ohhhh... THEY HAVE BABY ZOE! Jennifer knocks on Detective Gap Shirt's door. Jen pours her heart out to this detective who happens to have a perfectly coiffed mane! Tears and coffee cups. EVERYWHERE. Jennifer owns that she hasn't been the best mom but she wants Zoe back. Detective Side Pony says "Motherhood is tough but rewarding" SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK this detective sure does have a cute kid and rushes the kid off to bed.. BED? BUT THE LIGHT BEHIND THESE FAKE WINDOWS ARE BRIGHT? ITS PRACTICALLY NOON OUT THERE? Now we have this girl with the bad hair again and she has baby Zoe. Z seems to be sporting her pink Women's March gear in solidarity with Detective Skinny Jeans! WOMEN! This girl has a major issue with her.boyfriend smoking on the couch! SHE HAS HAD IT. THE JIG IS UP THERE ARE FLYERS EVEYWHERE! Zoe is screaming and so am I. We learn that Tammy (that's her name) are planning on selling this kid for 200k. Have I mentioned Zoe is adorable?

She sure is! I'll have to continue this on another post! NURSES AWAIT!

I typed this lengthy post about Randy and his hoodie and how it was too hot to be wearing one and how HE CLEARLY KNOWS SOMETHING AFTER STANDING AGAINST THE ENTRANCE OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH TO TELL JENNIFER that she did in fact NOT want to be a mother. Who cares? She is one and wants her child when she (and I) realize that RANDY KNOWS SOMETHING. Jennifer takes the detective's car and proclaims to follow Randy! *fast music* we see Jennifer drive up to a house and she then grabs a gun! A gun? GO JEN! End Randy! I mean.. GO GET ZOE! Jennifer is driving fast while some great tune plays and the gun is shown in the passenger's seat. This is serious! She pulls up to a warehouse, gun in tow! Randy is here and she points the gun at him! "I never meant anything to happen!" WHAT? I knew Randy was involved! before we know it three cops and the detective storm a motel room where Tammy (the girl with red hair) and Zoe were not too long ago! Tammy watches from afar! Randy explains that they sold the baby because people will pay 200 grand for a "white baby girl" he ain't lying! The detective scours the room to find botched adoption papers. These people ordered a baby fitting Zoe's description. Jennifer's mom calls the detective to tell her that JENNIFER IS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND AND RANDY DIDNT SHOW UP TO WORK. CLOSE UP ON THE YOUNG FORMER COUPLE RIDING IN A CAR ARGUING ABOUT ZOE'S FUTURE HE DID IT. He wanted the old days back. No babies! No child support... THAT HE WASNT PAYING. No future... That he clearly didn't have to begin with if he was hanging with Tammy. He realizes now that a mother loves her child. Jennifer points the gun and reminds him that he will take her to her child! I am loving Jen at the moment! more commercials!!! Now I know why these short movies are so long! ALL THESE COMMERCIALS! I'm beginning to worry Zoe will actually be sold on the black market

We see the couple willing to sell an innocent child receive a phone call. Z will be sold at the train station at 11:00 pm if Randy doesn't drive fast! They arrive and Jennifer has a plan but Randy is chickening out. These two devise a plan to get Zoe out! COPS ARE ON THE WAY. Jennifer sees randy appeoach the couple's motel room. He tells them he wants to see Zoe one more time. Z seems to calm down while being held by her father. Randy and those two exchange a few words. He is not down! Where is Jen to save the day? Did he tell someone? YES HE TOLD THE MOTHER! Zoe is crying while these three idiots fight it out. Tammy tried to calm her man down. They just need the cash! Jennifer storms in and gets her baby! Gun in the air. She will end them. Don't push her. Turns out... J doesn't know how to work a gun! Next thing we know Jennifer is strapped to a chair and duct taped! Never fear! Detective Maybe it's Maybelline will save the day! More commercials... Nothing new! How great is Oprah looking these days? Why is she in the woods talking to skinny people again? Those damn kids have got baby Zoe again. Jennifer manages to wiggle out of the restraints and get back to getting her baby! We see this oddly dressed couple give each other a decent Pep talk. Leave the baby, take the cash. These two clearly aren't working for Don Corleone! Jennifer tackles Tammy to the ground and grabs Zoe. Randy somehow gets shot as Jennifer for away. She is running down the street baby Z in tow. This actor needs to tone the fake crying down. Major Jurassic Park sounds coming from Randy! Jennifer is somehow running through unused train cars. She is being chased by the guy Tammy was with. I really hope Zoe keeps quiet enough for those two to get away. Not one peel for Zoe. This dude is going on a tirade! He wants that baby! Jennifer reaches for Zoe but actually grabs a PIPE TO HIT THE DUDE WITH. Miuahaha. He hits the ground like a sack of potatoes. Zoe is back with her mom! All is well. I really don't remember the ending because I was knee deep in muscle relaxers. I apologize but what a ride it has been!

#Lifetime movies #Lifetime #Lifetime Movie #Zoe Gone #TV Movies

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