#ITS NOT OUR FAULT YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO TEACH

[begaana]

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FCUK YOU

#i have my ruined my sleep schedule in the past 72 hours and i will have to today and TOMORROW ALL BECAUSE OF YOU #ALL BECAUSE OF THE FUCKING EDUCATION SYSTEM #AND FUCKING 'INSTITUTES' FUCK YOUR STUPID FUCKING SCHEDULES AND YOUR INCONSISTENT CLASSES AND YOUR INCOMPETENT TEACHERS #WHIO YELL AT US FOR NOT DEMANDING FOR MORE CLASSES BUT WE HAVE BEEN. YOU DONT FUCKING LISTEN #WE HAVE BEEN SINCE TWO FUCKING YEARS #AND NOW THAT WE HAVE 5 MONTHS LEFT AMND DONT KNOW BASICS STOP ACTING LIKE ITS OUR FAULT #ITS NOT OUR FAULT YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO TEACH #STOP ACTING LIKE IT ISNT YOUR JOB TO TEACH US ITS YOUR FUCKING JOB #IF YOU CANT BE GOOD AT THAT. STOP. TEACHING.

[definitelynotnia]

im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed

my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.

and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.

anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,

I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me

im going by metro which is quite safe

im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18

she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)

anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm

so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?

anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".

and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.

#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play #till 10:30 at night #she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8 #this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house #and now that my brother is in class 7 #he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30 #he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like #one sentence #yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke #up in the house its all my fault #this is just so damn unfair #like literally insulting #im not a child what is her problem #what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate? #i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present] #and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up #my whole life i've been told abar late?'' #and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play #5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30 #and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude #with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play #im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi #after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other #she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit #and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12 #its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how #like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO #istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy #groceries #i can cycle

[damagedcoda6669]

this is stupid

lets talk about this dumb ask for a minute. (leaving them anonymous so they dont get SLAUGHTERED)

ive gotten a handful of comments on my youtube video accusing me of the exact same things, so im gonna use this as an opportunity to teach you HOW NOT TO ACT TOWARDS CREATORS ONLINE. first of all, my financial situation is NONE of your business. i will establish that i pay rent, i have an income, i help synni out financially, but i dont owe you ANY of that information. making an assumption about my private life and then using said assumption to demonize me is exactly the kind of behavior exhibited by the internet growing up which ruined my childhood. you are making an assumption about me and using it to victimize synni and demonize me, two people who you have NEVER MET and in reality you know next to NOTHING about. stop making me out to be the bad guy in every situation, it goes to show that you have learned nothing from my video and are continuing the cycle of birdie hate for no good reason.

second of all, this is fucking ableist. assuming im mooching off of my best friend and being lazy because i happen to be disabled and mentally ill? fuck off. there is no "you need to get your act together" youre not my fucking parent, and also??? i need to get my act together??? you mean stop being disabled??? wtf are you on about??? synni chooses to vent about her financial situation, but i choose to keep that part of my life private. me and synni are in the exact same boat. you know NOTHING about me. for all you know i could be working a 9 to 5 like everybody else, but you never considered that possibility because im disabled. i did say in my video "fuck work" but guess what? people who have jobs also dont like working. synni has expressed the same "fuck work" rhetoric but instead of treating her as manipulative and evil in this situation you make her out to be a victim. we all know why youre talking about me the way that you are.

third of all, its not my fault synni is working 24/7??? its not my fault we're poor??? did you ever consider the economic climate rn??? or think to blame capitalism for making us need to work all of our lives only leaving us with a few hours to ourselves, barely surviving and scraping by? but of course, you dont want a rational answer to why synni and i are suffering financially. the internet always wants somebody to throw under the bus, and it will always be me because you will always see me as a mentally ill dangerous freak. think for yourself, unpack your own ableism. its exhausting.

OKAY BACK 2 NORMAL JACK MODE srry 4 writing a whole bible abt this, i feel VRY strongly abt this. my disabilities have been effecting me so badly ive been considering getting a wheelchair. (dont forget im physically disabled as well!!!) its not FUN 2 not be able 2 do the same things every1 else can (and it certainly isnt fun 2 have 2 explain that 2 ppl who dont care enough 2 understand) but i will never stop advocating 4 myself, becuz i never had any1 2 do that 4 me when i was a kid

#jack.txt #birdie #damagedcoda6669 #rant #vent

[xchxsex]

Teach Him to Please: Mark Hoffman and Peter Strahm x AFAB reader

Warning: threesome (ish?), sharing, praise, degradation, mention of knives, p in v penetration x2, oral (f recieving), public play.

Waking up next to Mark’s big, warm hands wrapped around my body is like my coffee in the morning. Of course i need my coffee too. Mark greets me with a small squeeze to my lower stomach. He always did like the little pouch i have there even though Ive always hated it.

“Morning sweetheart”, he says in his sexy sleepy voice.

“Good morning.” I turn over and kiss him, resting my hands on his cheek. His facial hair tickles my fingers and palms.

I rest my head on the pillow next to his.

“You always look so pretty in the morning”, he says, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “I was wondering if you wanted to come into work with me again today? You seemed to enjoy it last time.”

I smile. I recently quit my job because of the toxicity and the stress it was putting on me, so now I have more time to spend with Mark. Working and doing some filing at the station somewhat interests me and I’m working to get my resume up to par.

“That sounds great.”

After a quick shower with dress and makeup, I’m ready to go. Mark in his detective outfit that he always looks good in.

We drive down to the station, hand resting on my thigh, gently rubbing his thumb. When we arrive and come in, people wave to me. They’re beginning to recognize me with him now.

We go into his office but its not long until there’s a knock at his door. Mark lets out a huff of annoyance.

“Come in!”, he says.

A tall man with dark hair and blue eyes, around the same age as Mark peeks in the door and pulls it open. I recognize him as the man who waved and smiled at me last time.

“Hoffman, Ive been looking everywhere for you!” He’s equally annoyed as Mark.

“Peter just because your wife hasn’t had sex with you in months doesn’t mean you take our your frustration on me.”

Ouch. Even i felt that one. Peters nostrils flare and his top lip raises.

“She’s my ex wife… and you know that.” He slams the door shut behind him as he walks off.

Ive never seen Mark be… such a dick to someone before.

“Wasn’t that a little harsh? He seems nice.”, i say.

“He’s metaling. On my ass all the damn time about these Jigsaw cases. He’s getting in too deep. It’s going to get him killed.” He sits down and begins his work. I have an idea. If Mark really loves me, maybe if I befriend Peter, he’ll be nicer to him.

“Hey, Im gonna go to the bathroom really quick.” I walk down the hall, following the trail he took when he stormed off. I get to his office and he’s sitting at his desk, clearly still annoyed. I knock on the door and he perks up.

“Oh hey-,” he pauses, not knowing my name.

“Y/N,” i say.

“Y/N. Hey.”

“Im sorry about him. He doesn’t normally act like that I swear”, I apologize.

“Yeah. He’s always been like that. Not sure why. I don’t think anyone really understands him.”

Damn. If no one around here does, how can I be sure I do? There’s an awkward pause.

“Um- sorry to hear about your wife… ex-wife, sorry”, i say. That was probably rude.

He sighs. “Dont worry about it. It was probably my fault, being so involved in my work. We tried to figure it out but it just didn’t.”

This might be wrong to say. “Do you think the maybe ‘not having sex in months’ had something to do with it?”

He laughs uncomfortably. “She always rejected me when i tried. I never understood what she wanted from me you know? I just-“, he stops himself before he starts to drone on.

Now I’ve made things worse. “Maybe Mark could teach you”, i laugh.

He raises his eyebrow at me. “Us guys don’t really sit around talking about that stuff you know? Probably seems like it but-“, he looks behind me and i turn to see Mark leaned up against the frame.

“I thought you were going to the bathroom?”, he asks in that same way that he speaks when Im in trouble.

“Oh- I was on my way there and passed by Peters office”, i tell him.

He smirks and looks at the ground a moment before returning his eyes to mine.

“Bathroom is the other way princess but good try,” he clears his throat,” so what are you two talking about?”

Im scared to speak at the moment but before i can, Peter jumps in.

“She was just saying how you can be the one to teach me to please a woman”, he says quite casually. I do not feel good. Marks jaw tightens.

“Sweetheart, may i speak with you a moment, alone?”

This can’t be good. I follow him out and back into his office. He shuts the door behind us. He stuffs his hands in his pockets, tucking his tongue in the corner of his mouth.

“So what’s going on here?”, he asks.

“What do you mean?” I say nervously.

“Why are you talking to Peter about our sex life? If you want to brag that we have a great one and he has none Im all for it”, he grins.

This has got to end. “No, it’s that right there,” i point at him,” you’re so awful to him for no reason. I would think you would have some respect for a man who treats the woman you apparently love with kindness”, i tell him. And i mean it.

He ponders my statement for a moment. “No, you’re right baby. Maybe i should be nicer to him… but if he ever hurt you, i would have killed him by now.” He approaches me and kisses me gently. “You don’t want to have sex with him do you?”, he asks. That catches me off guard.

“No… I dont,” i tell him. By the way he asked it, it almost seemed like he didn’t care what I said.

“Good. No man will ever please and care for you the way I do.” I see the wheels in his head turning. “But, maybe if he could please you, i would have a little more respect for him.

What is happening right now? “What are you talking about?”, i ask.

You want me to be nicer to him right?”, he asks.

“Yes,” i say.

“And you told him that I could teach him how to please a woman, since i do it so well with you right?”, he asks.

“Yes but-“, he interrupts me.

“I saw him just like you did. He’s desperate. Hell i would be too after a while of not being able to have a release. Explains the stick he has up his ass all the time.” He pauses for a moment. I don’t know where this is going but part of me wants to know more. “Would you like to help me teach him?”

Is this really happening right now? “Do you want me to have sex with him?”

He pauses and thinks over. “Sure, why not.” He’s so possessive over me, i never in a million years would think that he would want another man to have me. Especially one he doesn’t even like.

“Are you okay?”, i ask, in my head and out loud.

“Whats wrong with it?”, he shrugs. I know youre mine, and its a one time thing unless something changes and maybe he wont be so pissy all the time. Maybe this is what i need to do to get him to trust me.”

Im at a loss for words. “So you want me to have sex with him and tell him how to please me?” I say it slow, making sure he knows what he’s really asking of me right now.

“I’ll be there in the room but yes. I trust you and I’ll step in if things go south.”

Im not sure how to respond. I mean, Peter obviously isn’t a bad looking guy. I think i could imagine how he looks under his shirt, maybe i want to see for myself. If i do this, Peter will be safe, Mark will be safe, they’ll get along hopefully, and we never have to talk about it again. I think i know what I need to do. Maybe it’ll even be good. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

He smiles and walks out of the room to Peters office. I turn and run my fingers through my hair. This is crazy right? My blood is pumping and my heart is beating out of my chest. Soon, he comes back in with Peter.

“So whats this big news you want to tell me?”, he says sarcastically.

I see and hear Mark shut and lock the door behind them.

“Well, you said you wanted to know how to please a woman,” he motions to me,” she can help you.”

Peter looks confused and I don’t blame him. They both look at me. “Is he saying what i think he’s saying?”, he asks.

I pause. “Yes.”

I think he wants to. I mean, it’s sex, it feels good and gives you a nice rush of dopamine. But i think he’s hesitant.

“Dont get me wrong, shes really pretty and nice but i thought you two had something going on?”, he asks him.

We do, but i think this will benefit the both of us,” Mark says.

Peter looks between the both of us and then the door. “Yeah, i dont think i can do that.” He goes to leave but my words fall out faster than i can think.

“I want to,” i say before he leaves. He stops and turns back around.

“Are you sure about this?”, he asks. His face is flushing. I can only imagine where the blood is flowing. I glance back and Mark and he nods.

“Believe me, Im sure”, i say. His stature over me intimidates me like Marks does. It is oddly arousing. He starts to undo his belt and i see Mark roll his eyes.

“Seriously?,” he asks.

“What is it?”, Peter asks.

“You need to make her want it. You want her begging for you before you please her.”

He’s not wrong. Peter looks at me.

“It doesn’t hurt,” i tell him.

He reaches his hands out to sit on my waist. He leans into me and presses his lips to mine. His lips are soft and delicate, his kisses gentle, not hungry like Marks. I kiss him harder to speed up his pace, he follows for a moment, but once i settle in to his movements, he slows.

“When i kiss you harder, i want you to keep it that way.” He goes back to kissing me, beginning with the rough pace i set. He’s actually a good kisser, evoking a throb in my core.

I take his hands and run them up and down my body. He takes over, grabbing all the parts i have to give to him. I rest my hands on his chest. He grabs my ass hard and picks me up. I didn’t expect that. He sits me up on Marks desk. There is one thing: i want him to talk to me like Mark does. I want him to tell me how bad he wants me and what he longs to do to me.

“A girl wants you to tell her what you want to do to her, wants to hear how bad you want her.”

He lets out a slight groan in the back of his throat. “I want to push you back on this desk and take you how i want to.”

That puts butterflies in my stomach. He’s starting to turn me on. I pull him back to me, kissing him rough once more, kissing me how i want to be kissed, touching me how i want to be touched; hes a quick learner.

“Take control of her, give her what she wants”, i hear Mark say to Peter. Neither of us stop.

His hands slide down, moving into my shirt before looping his fingers into the band, pulling them down quickly. Im pressed back into the desk, now sitting on top of it. His body is between my legs, grinding his hard length into my core. I let out a slight whimper as his lips move to my neck.

I can’t help but look at Mark. He’s watching so intently. I look down at his now tented pants. As i look i realize that maybe Peter’s problem was not settling in and just going for it whenever he gets ready. He doesn’t take his time getting the woman warmed up.

After neck kisses, grabbing and grinding into each other, i run my hands down to his belt, undoing it and tossing it aside. Soon, his pants and underwear are tugged down. His cock is longer and skinnier than Marks. I wonder how it will feel. He begins to pull down my underwear. I raise up for him to pull them off.

Im leaned back on the desk, his body following mine. He aligns himself at my entrance and is about to push in when Mark interrupts.

“Wait a second”, he says.

Peters jaw tenses, very frustrated as he slowly turns to Mark.

“What?”, he says annoyed.

“Go down on her”, Mark says.

“Why would I do that?”, he asks.

“Because if you don’t, you’re not fucking her. Now put your mouth to her little cunt and eat her like it’s your first meal in days.”

Peter turns back to look at me. I don’t think he knows how to.

“I’ll show you what i like”, i tell him. That makes him feel a little better. He moves to his knees in front of me, leaning in to wrap his lips around my clit, gently sucking. It sends impulses through my body, making my legs twitch with every nip. I need more than just this.

“Go faster”, i tell him. He starts to speed up, licking his tongue around me, but nothing changes much. I see Mark coming over. Uh oh.

“Move out of the way Peter, I’ll show you how to taste a lady.” Peter hesitantly moves out of the way and Mark replaces him. He grabs hold of my thighs and licks me perfectly. My body goes to loop my fingers through his hair and pull him deeper. His tongue and lips maneuver around all my sensitive spots, dipping his tongue into my hole to clean up the mess I’m making.

I watch Peter, looking intently at what Marks doing. It’s kind of sexy how hard he’s trying to please me. I don’t understand how Mark uses his mouth so perfectly, but fuck, it feels amazing every single time. I look between them, my stomach tingling for each. I want either one of them right now, but part of me wants to have them at the same time. Before i can reach my high, Mark pulls away, my legs shaking at the denial.

“If her legs aren’t shaking and she’s not pulling you deeper, you’re not doing it right”, Mark says. He stands and backs away from me, Peter returning to his spot. He lowers himself again and follows Marks movements. Ive gotten so worked up, if he doesn’t give me what I want, i might just have to take it myself. My hips spasm against his face. His tongue swirls around my clit, mixing in some nips and licking up my hole. God, it already feels so much better.

“Mph- better”, i moan. I pull his head deeper into me, working my hips against his tongue. My body is aching to release, so much so that i already feel the hot pleasure burning to be freed.

“Make her cum”, Mark walks over beside me. He runs his fingers through my hair and makes a fist. I whine at the tug at my scalp. “Yeah? My pretty girl gonna cum?”, he turns to Peter”, keep going when she finishes, make her scream.”

Mark leans in and kisses me gently before returning to his spot over near the wall.

Im about to shatter into his mouth. Both of them have control over me right now, making me feel small. I release into his mouth while looking at Mark. My back arches off the desk as i try to catch my grip.

He starts walking back over again, smirking as he watches me cum. Peter might be the one pleasing me, but the man my heart belongs to is Mark. He turns and watches Peter, waiting for something.

When I’ve stopped throbbing, he stands back up between my legs. He presses himself back against me but before either of us can react, Mark suddenly grabs Peter and pushes him against the wall, pulling out a knife and pressing it against his throat.

“Mark I thought this was okay?!”, i say. Peter looks terrified, turning to me for help.

“Hold on babygirl, let me make one thing clear. One rule: if you finish inside of her, i will slit your fucking throat. That pretty pussy will only ever be mine to claim. Understand?”

Peter nods and Mark lets go of him. He steadily walks back over to me, positioning himself back between my legs. He slides into me, my head falling back as he pushes his way through me. He lets out a groan, tightening his hands on my hips. He doesn’t hesitate moving himself into me quickly.

He’s not bad at this part surprisingly. It actually feels really good. I moan and grab onto the desk.

“Yeah? Do i feel good?”, he asks.

“Mhm, yes.”

He hits deep inside of me but doesn’t feel as good as Mark. Part of me is starting to believe him when he says that no man will ever please me like he does. He understands every inch of me in a way no man has. Maybe Peter will be like that for someone one day.

He starts to sweat as he grunts. “God she’s fucking tight”, he groans.

I see Mark smile. “I know. My girl has the best pussy, so tight and warm and wet. I could cum just from tasting her.”

Peters already getting close. He starts to pull up my shirt to expose my stomach. His jaw tenses before he pulls out, stroking himself until his white ropes string and fall onto my stomach.

“Fuck… shit”, he moans.

By the amount that he’s letting out, i can tell it’s been a while since he’s had a release. When he’s done, he adjusts himself and his pants back together.

“Now get her cleaned up. You always clean up after yourself and the mess she makes for you.” He hands Peter some tissue as he wipes himself off my stomach and tosses it.

“You should probably put her clothes back on, but you can leave them off for now.”

I think i know what that means for later: i dont think im done being fucked.

“I should probably get back to work”, Peter says. He walks away but Mark stops him before he leaves.

“I’ll see you around Peter. Oh, and keep everyone away from my office for the next hour.”

I bite my lip and smile as Peter leaves. He locks the door and takes off his blazer, hanging it on the rack by the door. He slowly walks towards me, resting his hands on the desk by my thighs.

“That was fun huh?”, he asks. I have to admit it kinda was.

“Yeah. I didn’t think you would let another man do that to me”, i say.

He shrugs. “I was there making sure you were okay. Plus, the jealousy i feel when other men look or stare at you gets me so fucking hard.”

His body moves closer to mine. He takes my hand and runs it down his stomach, down to his bulge. He tightens my hand around it. God he’s so hard for me.

“You feel that? It took everything in me not to shove him aside and take you myself. I know you wanted to beg for me. I know I’m all you think about baby. I know all the dirty little thoughts in that empty head of yours.”

His lips trail and caress down my neck, making me whimper. I grip onto his cock and he grunts.

“You’re mine babydoll… all fucking mine”, he whispers in my ear.

Our body’s attach to each other in a sweltering heat that i haven’t felt before. Ive never felt such intensity between us. He starts to take off his clothes which he’s never done in his office but fuck i don’t care. I want him to take me while people roam outside, fucking me on the very place he works.

He slides my shirt off as i pull his shirt off. Both are quickly tossed. I run my fingers up his body, entangling my fingers in his chest hair. Something about the feeling of the hair on his chest makes me want to lick all around him. And thats what i do. Im hungry for him and only him.

He practically rips my bra off, taking my left nipple into his mouth, sucking until I’m whining for more.

“Mhm fuck… please Mark, i need you”, i moan.

Now he’s pulling down his pants and underwear, stepping out of them and kicking them aside.

“I want every fucking inch of you baby. I want to abuse and ruin your little insides until you fucking cry for me”, he says.

Im dripping on his desk. I can’t wait any longer.

“I’ll give you every inch of me, every cell in my body… please just take me.”

Sometimes the way we talk, we leave each other speechless. Our minds flooded with adrenaline and hormones. Thoughts of how bad we want each other being the only thing in our minds.

“Sometimes i want you so fucking bad I cant think straight. You get me so goddamn needy for you, sometimes i worry what will happen if i get my hands on you.”

Working each other up until we both cant take anymore is everything. And then we have the roughest, nastiest, and most satisfying sex of our lives, not done until we’re covered in each other’s cum and sweat.

He pushes my legs back and slams himself into me. I barely can hold back a moan as the pain of him stretching me floods my body.

“God baby fuck, you’re so fucking tight for me,” he grunts.

Suddenly, he grips onto my hips, picking me up off the desk and turning us before pounding into me. He’s leaned over, supporting both of our weight with his strong legs and back. I lock my legs around his hips, taking him into me.

“God you’re so fucking big!,” i cry. This is the kind of sex i need, what i crave. I don’t care who hears me, i cant help it. His face is red as he strains to keep us together. The sound of his hips slamming into me echoes in the room. He bites my neck and i let out a moan of pain.

He’s fucking me the way animals do in the wild. Im sure he’s broken the skin.

His fingers dig into my sides as he massages that perfect spot into me with each thrust. He spanks the side of my ass and i whine.

“Y-you’re so fucking deep, so fucking good Mark don’t stop!”, i grip onto him tighter. I can feel how close we are. Sweat drips down his face. Little strands are falling down from his styled hair.

His brows are furrowed, biting his lip, face red, jaw tensed. It’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.

He moves us back to the desk, unable to hold me up as our highs hit. He pulls my hair back and makes me look at him.

“You’re gonna fucking look at me when you cum. Im the only man that makes you feel like this. Only me”, he groans.

We both cry out, looking into each other’s eyes when we cum together. His hot cum seeps into me, my body milking him inside me.

“Goddamnit, fuck,” he grunts.

I love the feeling of him filling me up, claiming me as his, marking his territory.

When it’s passed through us, his body is rested on top of me. We can’t even catch our breath enough to speak. He grabs onto the side of my face.

“Shit princess, you’re amazing.”

We’re both drained. Our bodies are still connected by his cock. As i shift, i feel his load.

“There’s so much, I’m so full,” i whine.

“I know baby. I couldn’t stop cumming, it wouldn’t stop coming out”, he smiles. “And I’m going to pull out of you, and look at the load that your pretty hole took so good.”

He pulls out and crouches down. I feel it running out of me, dripping on the floor.

“Push it out for me baby,” he says.

I obey him and push his cum out.

“Yeah? You’re my pretty little cum dump aren’t you?”

He raises up to meet me again. Kissing me lovingly this time. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

He gets his clothes back on and wipes up the mess he made inside me, on my thighs, dripping off the table. He pulls me up to him and kisses me.

“How do you feel about today?”, he asks.

Ive never had anything remotely similar happen. “Itll hopefully pay off for all of us. I did it for you. I don’t want to be without you, ever.”

He trails his fingers around my thighs.

“I was thinking about what you said earlier about me being nicer to Peter,” he takes my hands in his,” i dont- i cant feel for others the way you do. It’s just been hard to ever since Angelina. Its like you have this heart of gold… and mine is always broken.”

He looks up at me, its not often i see him vulnerable like this.

“Im trying to be a better man for you, the man you deserve to have. I’ll do everything for you, you’re my everything.”

I smile. This big, tough, intimidating guy is also the sweetest man ive ever met. I never thought about how love can bring out the best in people.

“Maybe i can help you heal it”, i tell him.

He smiles. “Believe me baby, you are. You’re the only person i know I can trust. The only person i can tell everything to and you wont judge me or write me off, you listen, and i love you for that.”

He hugs me tight. “You know how much i love you right?”

Ive never had someone ask if i feel loved by them before. “I know you do, i love you too.”

He picks my clothes off the floor and slips them back onto me. I fix my hair and clothes after he gets them on me.

“I’ll go tell Strahm that I’m free. I promise I’ll be nice this time.” He kisses me on the forehead and walks out. He returns soon after, calm and collected.

“Alright baby, i have to get to work,” he sits at his desk,” you want to come help?”

I smile. I do like helping him.

“Sure”, i say.

He taps his thigh and i sit on his leg. He plants a little kiss on my cheek, resting his hand on my hip as we get to work for the day.

#mark hoffman edit #mark hoffman saw #detective mark hoffman #peter strahm #agent strahm #costas mandylor #scott patterson #mark hoffman

[discar]

HZD Terraforming Base-001 Text Communications Network

Chapter 23 | Prev chapter | Next chapter Chapter Index

Zo: Alva, I have questions about your empire's agriculture.

DIVINER: Well, I'm not an agriculturalist or a biologist, but I'll answer what questions I can!

Zo: Do you have land-gods? Machines that tend your fields?

DIVINER: No, we had to learn to do everything ourselves! Much of it was discovered in the labs belonging to Eileen Sasaki, which is why she's one of our most revered Ancestors. The Empire wouldn't exist if we couldn't expand our fields!

Zo: I suppose our reliance on our land-gods has limited our expansion.

DIVINER: Um, this might be an awkward question...

Zo: That's fine.

DIVINER: And by awkward, I mean insulting.

BoyNextDoor: Apologizing before the insult. Erend, you can learn a thing or two here.

HIMBO: IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU'RE ALL TOO SENSITIVE!

Zo: Yes it is.

HIMBO: OH REALLY? GRANOLA GIRL?

Zo: …

Zo: So what was your question, Alva?

DIVINER: Do you um, know how to farm?? Without your land-gods, I mean!

DIVINER: Sorry!!

Zo: Oh, that. Yes, we do. Not all our villages are directly in the paths of the land-gods. We haven't expanded much, but we have some.

HIMBO: SHARING A BORDER WITH THE TENAKTH PROBABLY HELPED KEEP YOU GUYS FROM PUSHING OUT.

MARSHAL Kotallo: The Tenakth have always had fine relations with the Utaru.

HIMBO: YEAH, AND I'M GUESSING THAT ANY TIME ANYONE SUGGESTED EXPANDING, SOMEONE BROUGHT THAT UP.

Zo: One of the biggest problems my people have is that we are passive. The land-gods provide more than enough for what we need. Even in our outer villages, we rarely actually need to farm. It is always easier to just sit by and let nature take its course.

FlameHairSavior: In my experience, the people in power generally want things to stay the same.

Zo: True, the Chorus is the worst, but this is a problem common among the Utaru. As much as I wish otherwise, the Chorus are not forcing their own passivity on anyone. This is simply the way we are.

BoyNextDoor: Except for a few brave members of the tribe who will charge into a Cauldron with a couple of strangers.

Zo: You say the sweetest things.

HIMBO: EW, THEY'RE KISSING.

BoyNextDoor: How old are you, twelve?

β: flirt on your own time its science now

DIVINER: Right! Zo, did you have a reason you were asking about the Empire??

Zo: I found a story of the Old Ones about an empire making a colony. It just got me wondering if your people had the expertise to do something like that.

β: what story was it

Zo: Terra Nova.

β: i dont know that one

DIVINER: I don't either! But I'm guessing it's sci-fi?

Zo: What's sci-fi?

DIVINER: ...oh, wow, I just realized how much cultural context you're all missing.

FlameHairSavior: We are not having a movie night. At least not until I can go two consecutive days without having to put out literal fires.

DIVINER: I'm sorry to say, I don't think this is something that can be solved with a movie night!!

β: sure it can there are documentaries on film making or whatever

DIVINER: Oh, documentaries!! Those would be so useful!

DIVINER: I don't have any on my Focus, though!

β: nether do i

β: neither

HIMBO: WHAT'S A DOCUMENTARY?

DIVINER: It's a movie for teaching you about something!

HIMBO: SOUNDS HORRIFYING.

FlameHairSavior: I've changed my mind; we can watch one.

HIMBO: HEY!

FlameHairSavior: Though I do seriously need to find a day without an emergency.

FlameHairSavior: I found a Tenakth town in the desert that is flooded, and still doesn't have any drinking water.

BoyNextDoor: What were you doing back in the dessert?

FlameHairSavior: Okay, this was a while ago. Back when I was traveling to Vegas.

MARSHAL Kotallo: Many of our villages are suffering from such problems.

HIMBO: I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT SORT OF SLAG. DON'T YOU GET MOST OF YOUR FOOD FROM THE UTARU?

MARSHAL Kotallo: We still live off the land where possible, one way or the other. We don't just steal everything from our neighbors. We are not savages.

β: also raiding is not a sustainable long term economic practice

β: pirate nations never last long and aloy said all the bandits are always starving

FlameHairSavior: Yeah. That was back in the Sundom and the Sacred Lands, though. The rebels seem to have things a little more thought-out.

MARSHAL Kotallo: They are attempting to wrest control of Tenakth society. There is more to them than mindless raiding for supplies.

DIVINER: So! I've looked over the archive, and there aren't really any documentaries??

DIVINER: Well, there's one on the history of sourdough bread, but that's probably not going to be interesting to anyone??

MARSHAL Kotallo: What in the name of the Ten is sourdough bread? That sounds like something that has been fouled and is unsuitable for consumption.

DIVINER: I don't know! I haven't watched it!

β: aloy we have a new mission for you

FlameHairSavior: I don't know what sourdough bread is either, and I'm not finding any.

β: no not that you need to find the documentary on film making

FlameHairSavior: And where would I find that?

β: youre supposed to be the anointed chosen baby or whatever thats your job

FlameHairSavior: If there's an undamaged library or something out there, no one has told me about it.

DIVINER: There's one in the Quen lands! Well, not UNDAMAGED, but much less damaged! It's where we obtained much of the Legacy we still have today!

β: see there you go

FlameHairSavior: I'm not going to the Quen lands.

HIMBO: AND HERE I EXPECTED YOU TO SWIM ACROSS THE OCEAN.

FlameHairSavior: No, but I can come back to the base to smack you.

HIMBO: OW!

DIVINER: ...did Aloy somehow get all the way back to the base in seconds to smack Erend??

DIVINER: Oh, never mind, I see.

FlameHairSavior: What?

HIMBO: VARL SMACKED ME!

Zo: How WOULD you go about finding specific data, Aloy? Surely this has happened to you before.

FlameHairSavior: Usually, if it's important, I at least have a lead. I knew Faro was at the center of everything, so I went to Faro HQ. Then I found out about other bunkers and labs. That sort of thing.

DIVINER: All right! Then that just means you have to go to Hollywood!

FlameHairSavior: [Sigh.gif]

FlameHairSavior: Fine. Where is it?

ADMIN [GAIA]: The location of the former Hollywood Boulevard is approximately three hundred and thirty-six miles south-west of this facility. Assuming constant use of striders, and not accounting for detours or sleeping, it would be wise to budget at least forty hours for the outgoing trip.

FlameHairSavior: …

FlameHairSavior: I'm not riding forty hours straight to get you a movie.

DIVINER: Aw.

β: erend what are your plans for the weekend

HIMBO: HAHAHA NO.

Chapter 23 | Prev chapter | Next chapter Chapter Index

#horizon #horizon zero dawn #horizon forbidden west #HZDBaseChat #aloy #varl #zo #kotallo #alva #erend vanguardsman #beta horizon

[daryldixonsdoormat]

The Navi way.

Sorry for the bad writing guys (more Jake coming quickly because I cant get enough of him). 

He was sent to pandora by the sky people it was his mission to collect information and to feed it back to his commander. He was not meant to start any romantic relations or anything emotional towards the Navi people. 

````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````Jake Sully stumbled through the forest of Pandora, it was his first night alone and yet he still cant get a moment of peace. He hears the growling of animals surrounding him, he struggles to light the torch he is holding but succeeds just in time. Black animals are in every line of sight they some what resemble jaguars on Earth but skinner. Jake tumbles around fighting with the animals until she steps in shooting at the animal with precision. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your pov: 

I have to kill for a Navi that acts as if he is a child, he acts like killing isnt the last resort for Navi. I grab the source of light and throw it into the stream of water diminishing its flames, I climb up the branches and speed up. I hear his loud stomps and tripping trailing behind me and his gasps of air from the pace, “Hold on…. Wait up”. He grabs my arm while speaking, “I just wanted to say thanks for killing those things”. I swing my bow back to hit him, his grip on my arm immediately realising, “damn” he mutters astonished. “Dont thank. You dont thank for this. This is sad, very sad only”, I say leaning down and glaring at him. Hes still on the floor but now with one hand up asking for forgiveness through body language, “Ok im sorry. For whatever I did im sorry”. I stand up straight shaking my head at him still upset, “This is your fault. They did not need to die” those animals didn't deserve such a sad death at all. The outsider smirks still on the floor disagreeing with what I believed, “My fault? They acted me how is this my faul-”. I interrupt him swiftly shoving my bow in his directions, “YOUR fault, your fault. Your like a baby..making noises not knowing what to do”. The man puts his hands up while standing up leaning in closer while speaking,“If you love your little forest friends why didn't you let them kill me? Huh?”. The question throws me off guard immensely yet I know my reasonings, “...you have a strong heart, no fear”. I walk up closer to him squinting at him with anger, “but stupid you are ignorant like child” I turn away from him walking away quickly. Yet he keeps coming asking me to teach him though sky people do not learn easily, his rant continues on until he nearly falls from the large branch. I catch him by the arm glaring as I steady him, “you are like a baby, you do not belong here go back. “No” he says quickly and continues to fight me on whether he should go with me or not. They float down and surround him showing me it is a sign, he attempts to swat them away and I smack his hand telling him not to in Navi tongue. After the sign I made the decision to allow him to come along with me but as he follows along with me he is tied up by my people. I tell them to back down and to not kill him. We make it to the home tree where my father the emperor is waiting. The executive decision has been made, I am to teach Jake Sully the navi way and he will prove himself to be one of us. Lots of training has been put into Jake for the past few days, this consists of teaching him the navi language which he struggles to grasps. It feels the only way for him to learn is a smack to the head after the third time repeating a phrase. He is truly a moron, his form at shooting bow and arrow needs constant corrections but he is increasingly improving everyday. Yet we bond of his failures and improvements such as now. Jake pulls back the arrow with almost perfect form but it is not quite correct and to my standard, I lift his arm up slightly and stand next to him our cheeks almost touching from the proximity. I teach him the way to kill properly and how to embrace the way of the forest before deciding he is ready to take on the final task of the Navi ways. After watching Jake wrestle and struggling with taming his animal we fly together watching one another in asument, Im proud of my student, i've taking a liking to Jake which is surprising. Maybe more than a liking, its a feeling like no other, when I see him I feel consumed by his presence and love. Jake is expected by the people and my father, I take him to a scared place, we share our love for eachother. We stare into eachother eyes with more love than we’ve ever felt before. I knew that the moment his hand grazed my cheek I wanted to be his forever. He leans in hands holding the sides of my face sensually. Our lips find each other, I feel his hand move to the back of my neck pushing me closer to him. We don’t separate for what seems like hours the emotions too intense to pull back from. But our lungs can only go so long without air, Jane pulls back give a large smile plastered on his face hands still resting in place. “I want you to be mine. Will you be mine?”, he says with nothing but hope and adoration. “I’m yours Jake” I huff out still short of breath. Jake slams his lips to mine pushing us backwards, I moan and kiss back with the same intensity. Jake sinks down to the ground where I follow suit seeing how the beauty around us illuminates his features. He pulls me into his lap, his hands rubbing down my back as he lays open mouthed kisses along my neck. We are breathless in the most beautiful way possible, that night I declare him as my mate for life. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wake up on the floor Jakes arms wrapped around my body securely I smile embracing the moment for as long as possible. Then the cracking starts the sound of the forest where I live being broken and cut down, I shake Jake trying to get him to wake up before he is crushed by a falling tree. I have to drag him out of harms way, he wakes up and we get to safety as quick as possible, my heart breaks for my home. I stand and watch the place where I grew up and spent my life, get broken apart by aliens, people with no remorse for my home, I cry watching my only comfort is Jake's hand on my shoulder. 

#jake sully x reader #jake sully x you #jake sully x y/n #jake sully #avatar #avatar the way of water #part two? #he is the love of my life #please rail me I beg

[prettynhot]

12.01.2024 Fri the start of something? maybe?

2024 has been an amazing year so far! with the whole discovereu thing and the overall feeling,i’ve been doing good mentally! i feel and know that 2024 is going to be great!

i watched a vid yesterday about how our habits create our identity which goes hand to hand with our present moment. the girl on the vid was talking about the people who say “oh i used to be so skinny yet i thought i was fat, i was so skinny back then wish i knew!” she was making an analogy about how theres no end to a downfall. just goes and goes and goes until you decide to take things up a bunch of notches.

so i want to.

i love me,i love the girl i am,i love everything about me but not fulfilling my potential makes me feel unplesant.so i geniunely want to change. i’ll see how that goes. but i want to treat myself like a loved one again.

theres not so much ive achieved academically though yet.the reason for that is me. no bs. its me who didnt study hard and as much as i shouldve did and fell of my tracks. thats my fault and i know. just as i messed up though,i know im capable of getting everything back together as they were and maybe even better.with the whole huge exam thing i felt like i needed to push n push myself, not to care for myself and such. i thought that was the way it had to be.but no its simply not. im okay as i am. i have time. i have time for this and i have time for that. im good and on time.

lovin and caring for me has been a long journey and am not willing to give up just yet.

on that note and to take an action, i started getting help from one of my teachers. hes been great for this little time. i know thisll help me so much academically.

one other thing about that is the fact i have developed a crush on him.

and i know.

okay

i know!

but it was inevitable eventually.

hes a good and young looking man,who is quite fit and tall,knows how to dress, incredibly intelligent,mean to everyone else but me.

it was inevitable.okay.

i couldnt help but melt at all those times he made a joke and looked at me first to see if i was laughing,looked at me the most while teaching,always protecting me from other students.

plus considering all the di i have and my little tc history before,its not shocking. however i cant say that im not disappointed in myself a little. i thought my tc era had fully ended n i was recovered,healed,past that.appearently not. it does feel like going back a bit,like i’ve came back to an old self which shouldve been far far behind. however im not judging me cuz i know i had every single reason to and tbh,having a crush is very very fun. but anyway! theres that.

and actually,for some time i had noticed the little signs of me developing a crush,but i tried to ignore them signs and push them back time n time again,however they didnt magically disappear as i truly hoped they would.

and one other thing about all this is, after i realized i seriously had a crush on this man, before i started taking special academical help from him,it showed up in my behavior. and yes obviously thats very immature and childish for an 18yo. i know. im supposed to be an adult now and here i am going to my teachers office asking him “why are you working in the dark?would you like me to turn on the lights for you?” OUT OF NOWHERE.🤦🏻‍♀️ EMBARASSING UGHHH. i dont know what came over me truly. guess i want just behaving instinctively. but that was a dead giveaway from me and it sucked. he literally laughed when i did that💀cuz even he thought that was certainly absurd💀very embarassed.done with this.

anyway,ever since then i did have some little moments of instinctive behaving which were little giveaways. since then he has not been acting the same, which was what i loved the most,him being mean to everyone but very soft on me.

ever since these incidents, he has been incredibly mean to me. to a point where i was just about to cry once.

that one day i was about to cry,the one he really hurt me,he was dropping me off at my house since it was quite late. and it’s actually a nbd because he always drops students off and im always at seated at the back,for everything to be appropriate. yk,teacher student boundaries etc.whatever that means.

anyway he was quite chatty despite playing on me n being mean to me the whole time of both his classes but i was actually hurt. i had to keep myself from bursting tears in front of the whole class so i focused on my breathing n posture in order to not cry. and i did not since i made great efforts.but i couldnt help but feel like clown since i had dressed prettily,done my make up prettily just for him to maybe look at me more. notice me more. for him to be even nicer to me.i just wanted to be pretty for him to look at okay. i liked his validation i still do. so maybe i wanted that more i genuinely dont know. now writing all this maybe(probably) i was desperate n it showed. whatever the case maybe he was too mean. wayy too mean. yet still on the way home,he’s on his best behavior trying to talk to me,while we are alone in the car. he asks me questions about class,i answer them as they are.he did notice i was upset. he asked me about it. i told him nothing happened. he kept asking and asking. finally i told him how he hurt me so much during class. to this he got on full defensive mode, explaining himself quite ambitiously yet somehow mainting to stay relaxed and being able to laugh. going on about how teachers could be hurt from students but students cant from teachers and how just messing with students was the only thing he liked about being a teacher and i was trying to take that away from him?

honestly? bullshit to me. after he was done i explained i wasnt mad, i wasnt acting weird towards him or anything like that and i wasnt accusing him,i was just telling him how i felt upset by his behavior. to that he stayed silent for a while. then went on to say that i should focus on my studies no matter what and shouldnt care about what he says that much. then i told him we’ll see about that, thanking him while getting out of car.

and that day i had actually promised i’d go to see him for an academic review the day after but i decided not to go because i had a far more important thing to do.

today we had a class together.i intentially did nearly no make up,dressed slightly below average and avoided eye contact as much as i could, just cuz tomorrow ill go all out,so i wanted to create that contrast. im not trying seduce him nor am i willing to date him in any way, i just like his attention very much and i like the feeling of “winning someone over”. so i will. i believe in no time he’ll be doing his best to not like me so much. hes a strong minded man of principle so i know he certainly wont even get close to passing any lines in the teacher-student relationship,however id like to see him struggle :)

so thats all about him and my little crushing.

after im done writing this,i’ll get back to my house and study for tomorrows big big exam n pick out my outfit n make up for that day. then making myself some hot milk foamed coffee and resting is also in my plans.

thats all i can say for today. my friends didnt come to attend any classes tdy so i dont have any updates on that part,other than one of my friends texting me they have ripped the blouse they borrowed from me n could repurchase the same thing ‘if i’d like them to’ 🙂 obvi i said that wasn’t necessary because i know she wouldnt be able to get her finances right to afford that but im still upset because that blouse made me body look incredibly amazing:( but it’s okay ig.

well:)

all for now. see you tomorrow? ;)

#journal #daily journal #diary entry #digital diary #diary #tc community #teacher crush #teacher attachment #journaling #tc crush #dear diary #journal entry #male tc #male teacher crush

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

OKAY SO OBVIOUSLYYY I HAVE TO WONDER ABOUT KNIGHT!SUGU X ROYALTY!READER but also!!! satosugu x aroace!reader sounds so interesting!!!!!! i would love to hear about them!

ALEXISSSSS TAKE A SEAT BELOVED here is ur drink… 🧃

OKOKOK IM EXCITED i was hoping u’d ask abt the knight au so i could hear ur thoughts hehe. since ur the reason it exists !! the god parent if u will…. aaa and the aroace!reader fic is v special to me too!! 🥺 that one is just a vague idea atp BUT ill get to that…

FIRST OF ALLLL knight!sugu x royalty!reader our beloved……. okok so i mightve mentioned some stuff alr but ill just run my general idea by u!! i have basically all of it outlined, just gotta get to writing </3

but basically; reader is kind of a brat. Very Much a brat. and sugu gets hired to act kind of as their bodyguard — which reader really doesnt like but sugu is just too patient and their attempts to annoy him so much that he leaves dont work LMAO … he also kinda likes the fact that theyre difficult yk its the Mother in him. he’s very boyfriend very protective very much a big ol tease

but then obv they grow closer <33 suguru really isnt anywhere near as straightlaced as he wants to appear, and both him and reader kinda have that Hunger to see the world yknow?? or to just break free of their chains. so reader brings out sugu’s more wolfish side and he eventually gets pretty lenient w sneaking them out of the castle, teaching them how to fight w a sword … etc etc. very much a Forbidden Romance but its not angsty bc i love them and i want them to be happy <33

HERE R SOME RANDOM SNIPPETS im gonna let this one cook for a while bc i need it to be perfect… putting my heart and soul into getting the alexis approval fr

”so you didn't pull your sword out of a rock?” you frown, already losing interest. lame. ”stone,” he corrects, unperturbed. ”and i'm afraid not.” he gives you a smile, barely concealed amusement swimming in his amber eyes. ”i pulled mine from an oak tree.” … ”wait, really?” ”depends,” he quips, brushing past you with a grin. ”how gullible are you, my lord?” (argh.)

he kneels. he always, always kneels. such a large man, all toned muscle and tall stature, broad shoulders and firm chest — kneeling at your feet. like a loyal dog, with a rustle of armor, a flutter of fabric, a sigh and a smile. suguru always kneels.

here it comes. effortless, perfected, your one god-given talent; an irresistible pair of puppy dog eyes. the voice that spills from your lips is hopelessly meek, pleading, so sweet you’d get cavities if you didn’t know how fake it was. ”take me outside, please?” you whine, lips jutting down into a slight pout, accompanied by a flutter your eyelashes —  suguru smiles. ”no.” a beat. frustration bubbles up inside your veins, trickling down to your wrist, and you grit your teeth. barely resisting the urge to stomp your feet into the floor. ”you’re supposed to listen to my every command!” ”still no, sweetheart.”

CAN U TELL IM A LITTLE ILL ABT THEM alexis this is all ur fault smh smh…… they mean the world to me

aaa and then!!! stsg x aroace!reader…. 👀 honestly i just realllly love blurring the lines between platonic and romantic love in my writing and thats kinda where this idea came from!! nothing’s written out or outlined, but the idea is basically just that stsg are an established couple + both in Love w reader + confess by a cold beach in the middle of the night :333 just those good ol coming of age vibes. and it obviously doesnt really go as planned bc reader is so hesitant.

i’m not sure when i’ll get to writing this one out esp since its so self indulgent pskdjdj bUT the focus will def be on reader’s feeling and the love they all feel for each other, etc etc!! ty for indulging me this one makes me v happy to think abt hehe

#THIS GOT KINDA LONG im just very excited to talk to u abt knight!sugu x royalty!reader ok 😔😔 #tysm for asking alexis!! ilyily <33 #ask tag ✩ #alexis !! ✩

[tokyogruel]

1 4 and 5 muu for ask thingy!

1. favorite song lyrics?

after pain:

"If I was gone, If I had just disappeared I overheard, I found out How much I’m not needed"

"ねえなんで痛-痛-痛いのやめてくれないの？"

"I want to feel “alive”, is it ok if I breathe?"

"ごめんなさい」は届かないよ　(いつか届くかな) 「ごめんなさい」は届かないよ　(いつか届くかな) 「ごめんなさい」は届かないよ　(いつか届くかな) 「ごめんなさい」は届かないよ"

"I don’t want tomorrow to come, I want to forget yesterday I was miserable, someone please help me"

"それなのに消したはずなのに夢に見ちゃうのよ"

"Let’s meet up inside the pain, a place just for me Postmortem makeup to hide my heart, how to solve it is a secret The stabbing of the little devil’s voice, counterattack being a suicide note"

"「“あなた”が好きよ」"

its not my fault:

"I told you I’m queen, and it’s always the same God gave me everything, everything is as I wish"

"どうなるかわかってるよね？"

"Sorry for hurting you, but I didn’t mean it I am doing this is just because of being bored"

"I told you I’m queen, and it will never be changed I’ve got EVERYTHING, everything is as I wish"

otome dissection:

"ドキドキしたいじゃんか誰だって 恥をしたい　痛いくらいが良いんだって知った"

"Without you, none of that matters Both of us with our masks on, we flirted"

"This disease, the whole package, I'll send it to you as an attachment I don't wanna go so far as to share all the things that cause me pain I just wanna run away from this love…"

"君が別の人のことを好きになるって夢を見たんだ 否定してほしい　ねえ愛して？"

"乙女解剖であそぼうよ 涎をバケットの上に塗って 確かめよう　期待外れ最高潮だった あの夜から"

MKDR:

"言っちゃった もう一時だけ隣りに居たい"

"I’m sorry, come back Carbon dioxide, your atmospheric concentration"

"浸ってたいよ　泥沼の夢に 身勝手だって言われてもペロリ"

"It’s not uncertain, there’s no future I want to be reborn with your face"

"Even if you flip over the words “I hate you” There’s no “I love you” hidden there"

"I’m mad with idealism, imagining a smile My bloodshot wish will soon be relieved

But there’s no love anywhere that’s “just fine”

"だから妄想感傷代償連盟 愛を懐いて理想を号んだ 行き場のない愚者のメロディー 再挑戦・転生・テレポーテーション 何回だって　重ねて逝くんだ 終わりなき愛の隨に　さあ"

"愛や厭"

"怒ってる？　…怒ってない。 阿吽の呼吸でズレるビート"

"だけど「���丈夫」なんて嘘を覚えて仕舞うの"

"The topography I protected by hating love Is beginning to warp properly Isn’t it the worst? It’s like an interpersonal lotion We’ll hurt each other over and over A blended love philosophy"

fun fact: muu's songs are some of my favorites of all of the prisoners. i have listened to the MKDR instrumental more times than i can count

4. favorite minigram episode/moment?

hands down.

5. favorite voice drama line/moment?

crying b:

"Muu No… No way. This is so messed-up. I… Even though I'm not the one in the wrong, they want to sentence me to penal servitude… That's so messed-up."

(hm,,, strong aversion to servitude, huh muu?)

"Muu Guard-san, what you're saying is pretty difficult to understand and I can't keep up. Say it in a way which'll be easier for me to grasp."

"Muu What should I do then? What should I do in order for you to forgive me, guard-san? I'll do anything! Um… Anything painful or embarrassing is out of the question though… And, I don't wanna do anything scary either…"

"Es Haruka's loyalty towards you is one thing, but with this kind of relationship, I think it's only natural to wonder if you're using him for something.

Muu Ehh… Guard-san, do you not have any friends?"

"Muu Wow, poor thing~... I'll teach you! Friends aren't like that, you know. Rather than using each other for something, we just get along because we're comfortable around each other. That's all."

(i really dont understand when people say muu and harukas relationship is toxic or unhealthy... muu explicitly states she is not using him, theyre friends, she gives him things with no expectation of getting gifts in return, and he listens to her. which i doubt she would point that out... unless other people dont listen to her when she talks)

"Muu … Guard-san, I think you're really doing something bad. Isn't it a bad thing to act like there has to be something wrong with someone for them to get bullied?"

"Muu Besides, even if I've done something wrong, there's nothing that could justify bullying someone. Guard-san, I thought you were a nicer person."

"Muu But if you were like, "I won't forgive you, Muu! Revenge is bad!", then wouldn't that imply that it's also bad for me to bully someone back after they bullied me? Since we've all done something bad anyway, doesn't that mean that I've not done anything wrong in the end?

Es …I think I'm kinda… starting to get your point… maybe…

Muu … Guard-san, are you maybe not that intelligent, after all…?"

#creature speaks #ask tag #thank you pupa!! #im happy for any excuse to think about muu more

[yourmomni]

RIVALS -Chapter 2

I rolled over in my bed and grabbed my phone trying to look at the time. i gasped " SHIT GUYS GET UP WERE LATE" i screamed. Minyoung fell out of bed groaning while everyone else popped up. "IT 5AM WE HAVE AN HOUR BEFORE TAKE OFF." we all rushed out of bed tripping over minyoung and eachother trying to make it to the bathroom to get ready. "Where's my neck pillow." areum yelled from the living room. "I cant find my other croc, Minyoung did you wear my shoes again." i screamed. "omg i cant believe we slept through 7 alarms whats wrong with us."

A flashback played in my mind from last night. we were all up sitting in circle with a jeju island plampet out circiling all the activities we wanted to do. "oh lets go for a hike, i heard the sun rise from mount hallasan is beautiful." jiwoo cirlced the trail on the pamplet, i shrugged drink what was left in my soda can. "sure i gues. ohhh what if we go to a museum?" i asked pointing at a picture of a big brown building. Minyoung gagged. "ew learning on a trip i dont think so if i wanted to learn i would of went to school." i smacked her with a pillow. " the museum sounds fine y/n, i was thinking we could maybe go fruit picking, my uncle has a farm down there and i know he would love some help on it it'll be fun." Areum scoffed "yeah no me and dirt dont mix but ill wave from the patio." we laughed. I got up and walked to the kitchen throwing away my can

then sun went down hours ago but it was still hot and humid outside. Spring was just around the corner and it was already feeling like summer. i glanced at the memeber seeing them joking and laughing at eachothers ideas. It brought me back to when i first moved to korean in 2018 not knowing anyone and being to scared to talk, until i met them.

I just joined our company and was staying in the company dorms in a room with 7 other girls. They we loud and annoying and were always leaving me to clean up their mess.I was to shy to tell them off, thinking that if i did it enought maybe one day they would just leave me alone. On the day before evaluations and dorm checks I only cleaned up my side of the dorm leaving theirs the way it was. When the inspecter came by and graded us he yelled at them for having such a messy arean and praised me for being so organized. After the evaluation the girls yelled at me for "making them look bad" and not cleaning thier side. " I bet you did that on purpose you want me to leave your so selfish." she threw he towel at my face. My dads words repeating in my head over and over "Never let them get a reaction out of you." i stared down at the towel that ws thrown at me and picked itup putting it in the dirty hamper. " Hello are you deaf im fucking talking to you." i jumped at her words. " its not my fault you didnt clean up your mess im not your maid." i said gritting my teeth, trying hard not to sound how i felt.small. she scoffed at my answer. " in korean culture the youngest always cleans up after the older memebers thats just how it is." she grabbed the clothes and empty noddle containers and placed it on my bed. My eyes widend. "now clean." My hands began shaking and my heart was racing. Confrontations were never my strong suit. everyone was now standing around us watching the argument go down. I slowly walked to my bed and began taking everything off of it. She started laughing and so did a couple of other girls. A tear slipped from my eyes and quickly whipped it away. When i reacher for a noddle container someone grabbed my wrist.

"what the hell is going on here."

I looked up at the voice and a girl with long wavy brown hair and basketball shorts was standing infront of me blocking my veiw.

"nothing nani were just teaching the new girl some korean costums." i bit my lip looking down and contiued taking everythign off my bed and into the trash. She turned towards me again and grabbed my hand locking them into hers. "clean up your own mess sejin this isnt the villa." my eyes widded as long as ive been here ive never heard anyone stand up to Sejin. "Shes not your maid and she sure as hell isnt going to keep cleaning up after you and your rat tails." the girls beside sejin gasped holding their ponytails. She swipped all of sejins stuff of my bed and began throwing her clothes out the window. Sejin screamed grabbing Lanani's arms. i grabbed nani an tried to pull her off of sejin

I smirked at the memory. Remembering how i made my first friend during my trainee days after Nani, jennifer came to our company,then kazumi and so on. Minyoung was the last to join us as we became one group. Looking out for eachother and taking care of one another. Building up eachothers confidence. We we basically a family.

I was brought back to reality when i saw minyoung drifting off to sleep leaning on the couch grasping her her phone in one had and a fry in the other. I smiled "Okay lets wrap thing up its almost 2am and we have a flight to catch in 4 hours lets all get some rest." Jenn said picking up the scattered soda cans and takeout boxes. "ok but lets all put a alarm on our phones so we wake up on time." kazumi added. we nodded and all pulled out our phones " with this amny alarms we cant be late to the flight hell we might even be early for a chance." Sena joked. we laughed and made our way to bed. Flashback to now we were running in the airport to our flight. "Guys i really have to pee." Minyoung whinned. we all yelled about how she could use it on the plane " Gate Number 5 For jeju will be closing in 5 minutes." the voice echoed on the intercom. "WERE NOT GONNA MAKE IT." Areum cried slowing down. I grabbed her hand and contiued to run "guys look i see 5." Nani screamed. we all zoomed to the gate making it just in time before the flight attendent closed the door. we presented our tickets to her and we walked to our seats.

I sat down in my seat and relaxed my body exhaling out of my mouth recling the seat back. "first class is the best class." Areum slumped beside me pulling down her privacy window putting her eye mask on i nodded. "tell me about it." The next hour went by really fast only allowing me to get only 20 minutes of sleep. We landed and i was the first one off than plan, i was too excited for our day of fun to start that i totally forgot about my friends. "Y/N slow down girl were gonnaa be here for a month your not going to miss anything." sena said counting us one by one making sure she didnt forget one of us. " we cant have a repeat of last year in italy."

Minyoung frowned. "i swear that lady looked just like kazumi how was i supposeto know she wasnt, and you guys eventually found me." Nani scoffed. "um yeah like 4 hours later." we grabbed our bags at baggage claim and mde our way out of the airport. A sign that had our groups name on it was being held up by a small man waving it aroud frantically. "halabeoji" areum squeaked running to the guy who i now recongnized as areums grandpa. "hi my love, welcome to jeju hopefully the flight was comfortable." she kissed his cheek and moved out of the way so we could talk to him

"Oh my girls you've aall gotten so big." we smiled and hugged him. "halabeoji its been so long." i said smiling at him "i almost couldnt recognize you, you look so much smaller." he blushed. "aw you girls make me feel young everytime i see you." he helped load our luguage into the trunk of the car and we were on our way to the house. "you girls are gonna love the house, when areum was young she would spent hours in the play room. Oh i also stocked up the fridge for you girls so dont worry about any shopping." we all thanked him.

we made it to the house and un loaded te car. "wow this house is beautiful." I said looking at the beautiful lake house in front of me. " Y/n omg they have jet ski's" minyoung squealed from the side of the house. She appeared smiling now running all the way to the back. " They have a speed boat." She screamed. I smiled and helped carry the rest of the bags in the house.

Areums grandpa bid us Fairweather immediately after saying he had a business call to take and he'll be back at the end of the week. We waved bye to him and went to see our rooms.

"OK guys welcome to the Parks summer home in jeju." Areum announced making us laugh. "So there are only 6 bedrooms-" "SIX" We said collectively. "Yes six and 4 bathrooms, we also have a game room, indoor pool, movie room, and a upstairs balcony. So please enjoy your time here and remember your break you buy." We laughed at her finishing sentence and clapped.

"OK so who's sharing a room?" Kazumi asked already heading to a room. We looked at eachother and ran upstairs to the rooms. I ran for the first door but sena beat me to it closing the door yelling a sorry after. Areum was fighting minyoung over a room saying it's always been hers. I ran for the 3rd door throwing my stuff in and closing it resting my back on it signing in triumph. "Fancy seeing you here." My eyes shot open seeing jiwoo sitting on the bed smirking at me. "Shit." She laughed." Dont worry I bought face mask."

I shrugged and we opened the door to see the set up. Minyoung and kazumi were sharing a room while the others got their own.

I headed downbstairs to check our food choices and started pulling out some food to put on the grill." Um I don't see any ramen in here." Jiwoo was looking through the cupboards and drawers. "Damnit maybe we do have to go to the store." I closed the fridge putting everything I took out to the side so I can wash the meat. "NO we don't our neighbors are really n8ce maybe they have some extra ramen laying around I'll take minyoung and go ask." Areum slipped on her shoes. "Wow our Sophia is so amazing." We clapped and she blushed." OH stop it."

Areum and minyoung walked to the neighbors house that was just down the drive way. "So are you excited for everything." Areum asked minyoung. She nodded smiling " yeah I really need this break I'm super excited to go to the aquarium and to see all the museums hopefully this trip is going to be amazing." We walked up the neighbors drive way and areum stopped

"Well that's weird." She tilted her head. "When did they get a van. We lookedbat eachother and minyoung shrugged. " maybe they have company." We walked to the door and areum ringed the door bell. We waited then heard feet patrering ." Sunoo I got it." We looked at eachother. " Sunoo." She mouthed at areum. Their eyes were turning big. The door opened and Jay was standing there

Minyoung gasped he smirked. "OH hello ladies how may I help you." Behind him you could see the other boys throwing things. " Nevver mind have a good day." Areum grabbed my hand and we ran down the hill. " SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT."

#black reader #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen imagines #black reader x kpop #enhypen jake #black idol #enhypen x black reader #ocs #jungwoo #jakesim x black reader #sunoo fanfic #ehypen #enhypen jay #enhypen heeseung #sunghoon #idol au #woc

[mental-health-advice]

hi

im currently going through some things and i wanted to have someone else's pov/opinion on it, so thank you in advance for taking the time to read this

im the eldest daughter of a sea household in a foreign country. its just me, my mom and my sister who is 10 years younger than me. i was supposed to go to college last september but unfortunately i did not pass the entrance exam and was not accepted and therefore had to take a gap year (however am set to go to college this fall).

my sister isnt doing well in school mostly because of the language here. we speak in english at home but she was a baby when we came to this country so we expected her to learn it as she grew up. all her friends speak it but since she goes to a bilingual school she does not speak it unless she has to and even when her friends talk to her, she responds in english. so unfortunately until now her proficiency in this language is even worse than mine (which i barely passed my finals with) and she struggles a lot because of it.

shes off to middle school next year and we just learned that she might not be accepted into the school she and my mother wants because of her lack of proficiency in the language and because of other factors like disorganization, not turning homework on time or at all and etc despite the way both my mom and i push and guide her.

my mother has always blamed me for my sisters shortcomings but i feel that it shouldnt be so. throughout our life here i never had support when i struggled through school despite the language difference and the lack of help. on the other hand, i feel i have done a lot of things for my sister regarding school even when i was struggling thru mine as well. though not consistently, when she comes home from school, i sit with her and help her with her homework when she has questions, teach her in different ways, tell her how i did things in school to pass and to study but she never really internalizes them and is still very disordered and easily distracted. she prefers to watch and play on her ipad instead of studying and when she reads she always prefers easier books instead of recommendations i give to her. whenever they have tests we have to push her to study and thats only if she even remembers (+to tell us) that she has a test.

my mother doesnt help with my sisters education. she works long shifts and changing hours and so her schedule never really allows her to help with any of our education.

its not the first time and i doubt itll be the last but my mother came home today after having had a meeting with my sisters teacher who explained that my sister have had no visible improvement in the language and that she still struggles with many things my mother and i push her to fix. she was mad and as always blamed me for not doing enough, for not sitting long enough with her and teaching her and for everything my sister is failing to do. she says that if my sister does not manage to get into that specific school they want then she will not let me go to college (i dont know if she means it or not but she has said this multiple times before)

i dont understand why im being blamed. shouldnt improvement come from my sisters own desire to improve? i can push and tell her to do this, study more, do her homework and so on but if she doesnt do it herself without prompting then isnt it just for naught?

my mother often brings up that she would not be doing this to me if i had gone off to college but she has been blaming for all of my sisters faults even as i was struggling through highschool. she constantly tells me that there are people my age who are working and earning money and yet whenever i bring up the idea of getting a job she always tells me to just focus on my studies.

i just dont understand why my sisters sins are mine as well

am i playing a victim? is my mom right?

im sorry this got so long, i didnt want to leave out details and wanted to be as transparent as possible because leaving out things would make it biased. thank you again, i hope youll have some advice for me

Hey there,

I really believe that when it comes to education, we can only help others so much. We can sit with them, help to explain things, help with studying with them to try to keep the other person focused and on track, but in the end, the will and desire to learn and to do well in one’s schooling has to come from within. I think that your Mum is being really unfair with putting your sister’s failure or lack of improvement in her education on you and especially when you are doing your very best and spending so much time with your sister already to help her. With this being said though, is it possible that given your Mum is working such long hours, that she may just come home really frustrated at your younger sister and you are the easy target to vent or blame her frustrations onto?

I know that your Mum works a lot, but when she, for example, has a day off of work, could you possibly pull her aside and talk to her about this stuff and how it leaves you feeling? I know that you mentioned that your Mum said she wouldn’t put all of this stuff on you if you were at college but given that you are not at the moment it’s hard to know otherwise. By talking to your Mum though, and explain/ let her know/ show her how much time you put aside to dedicate to your younger sister to help with her education then perhaps instead of blaming you she will be able to see that you can only do so much. So again, with all this being said, it sounds as though your Mum is just frustrated and/ or perhaps feels as though she needs to blame someone and especially if she feels judged or under pressure from other family members or members of the public in general and especially if education is of upmost importance to them. If the latter is the reason, then maybe she feels like a failure herself in not being able to give your sister the life she wants too where anything is possible for her, including going to college. Just something to maybe think about and talk to your Mum about if you feel comfortable in doing so.

I guess that perhaps it may also be important to acknowledge that not everyone (unfortunately) finds education as easy as others and yes, they may struggle more through no fault of their own but just because of who they are as people. They may not be being lazy but just find the workload and context of it all overwhelming and just ‘too’ hard that they give up without even trying in fear that they will fail anyway. So perhaps, and I am not sure how things are in your family, but if excess stress or expectations are being put on your sister then she may be feeling this and this may be adding to own stress to do well or be better fit into the mould that your Mum wants her to fit into (doing well and getting into the school of her choice).

Of course though, all that I have said is just in my opinion but sometimes taking a step back, trying to find the root cause of any issues that may be making things so hard for your sister to learn may be of some benefit and will enable you to all move forward in the sense of her improving in her future schooling and studies. Everyone also learns very differently from one another, that it may also be possible that she just hasn’t found what works best for her in learning things.

Either way though, I do not believe you are at fault at all for your younger sister to not be performing to the standards that everyone would like her to at school. So please try to take comfort in that you can only help your sister so much, but in the end it is up to her to take on board all the support and help that you have been giving to her and to have that desire and will to want to learn herself if that makes sense.

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you, hope that you are going well and I wish you all the best with college!

Take care,

Lauren

#mha-lauren #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #anonymous #younger sister #education #foreign country

[am-i-sans]

dnd adventure 17

inferno in eeby deeby

we told moss 'fun facts' about our charactors! all made up lol.

frog asks us what we want for our funerals if we die???

new city called Empire City! (and lets bring pearl!)

next day festival tiiiime! time to pick plants! mid summer fest!

dans and tori are going herb picking with frog at the crack of dawn.

me and tori got many plants but poor frog didnt get any so i give them some of mine. undyne wakes up when we get back.

undyne starts exercising and dans makes breakfast! make cam wake up to eat. dans uses mage hand to shake a sausage in suzy's face to wake her up and she eats it lol.

frog gets to have a good day today dammit! dont jinx this! we can have a band! we have instruments!

pony rides, food stalls all over, magic show, a maypole, flowey crowns, singing and bands and dancing, market stalls!

cam challenges frog to a music battle! dans also challenged. i dropped the drum lol and cam kicked ass. BUT THEN UNDYNE WON.

everyone splits up wandering around. cam is fake haggling lol and dans is following them. undyne and suzy go eating AGAIN. frog and tori are buying flower crowns. cam gets random trinkets for everyone.

frog and tori find a magic show! he pulls a rabbit out of it! dans and cam see this and come over. frog obviously volunteers xD but dans gets called instead! but he volunteers frog in his stead anyway lol. HE PULLS OUT A DECK OF CARDS WTF- dans has to hold onto tori's arm. at least frog is having fun. he copes with humor lol.

aww frog gave us flower crowns ;-; put it on his bald head.

cam is trying to get undyne to dance with them and called them a chicken! undyne took the bait xD whoo dancing! cam got a 21 and undyne got a 15 so still good! cam teaches undyne how to dance ;-; with limited success xD

uh oh. undyne ran into a fairy. fight avoided cause undyne doesnt care about the rude fairy xD moss is so mad. (also ame came online so we live in fear of inferno showing up)

dans invites tori to dance too! great dancers! and we keep switching partners! undyne and tori keep spinning each other and cam and dans have a little dance off xD cam just barely got more applause than me! fantastic! i catch cam from falling to look intentional and dip them lol.

i save tori from undyne's spinning and challenge undyne to spin me fast and hard xD the most beautiful spinning top you ever seen and the flowers go flying. (cam is so gay and undyne just doesn care lol)

but where are the kids!? frog is at the maypole! cam and dans find them. he just watches them with cam.

suzy is wrestling a goat at the petting zoo. tori and undyne find her. undyne had to grab her but the crowd likes the wrestling! also suzy was losing.

undyne shows up and fuckin gets involved and goes speeding around the pole! on your left! shes ZOOMING! taking all the ribbons! flying in a circle! GOTTA GO FAST! also since dans flower crown has fallen apart he just sticks it all in his beard lol.

the maypole falls over oh no! frog is disappointed oh no! undyne sticks it back in the ground so its ok! the kids think shes super cool lol. and now the kids know how to swear oh no. undyne carrys cam away cause its also their fault lol

dans frog tori and suzy walk away to the pony ride. cam finally escaped undynes arms and tells the kids swear words in bird language.

undyne low key jelly that they like the ponies xD time for lunch! frog gives undyne a flower crown!

now its nighttime! fireworks! drinking! kids to to sleepy. (i found a dwarven translator yes!) Eth stung jr vlitagana) to tori. dans starts singing sea shantys!

undyne broke a table xD tori and cam are also drunk. its a party! cam fell off her shoulders so tori had to pay me 10 gold xD dans slow spins tori for everyones amusement and cuteness xD cam called undyne cute! tori and dans help them go to bed since undyne passed out xD

#dans #dnd #dnd adventures

[tacroyy]

official first day of school

~the state of public education in the us is shiiiiiiiiiiiiit~

boy, im really trying not to use identifying details here, but i am having a hard time not to describing in excruciating play by play the ABSOLUTE bullshit the district handed down this week. to simplify, we have to teach a class that we shouldn’t be teaching (bc we are not licensed in the area) and that we aren’t being paid for, AND—none of that is new news, but THIS is—we are (the district is) lying to the state about it—they edited our official reporting system to delete the class, but we are still being asked to send kids to other locations/teachers when they’re supposed to be in our custody. so we don’t have ACCURATE CHAIN OF CUSTODY. what the FUCK. now don’t worry, the appropriate agencies/authorities Have Been Contacted, grievances have been Extremely filed, etc., but like. what an utterly wild and irresponsible and unsafe and insulting and demeaning thing to try to do and expect to get away with it.

so that was hanging over the first day of school. i ended up with 32 kids in my core class (pending new students, of which there are generally an average of three for year, and also—i am not bragging, i am just saying this bc it constantly happens—i am a great teacher, or at least kids who dont like school really tend to like me, so i often get kids transferred into my class) and it wouldn't be too bad except there are a number of them who need like, every bit of attention i have 95% of the time or shit will go down. so day one there was some shit, which is fine, its not their fault (its the fucking system), it just really sucks ass to have such a difficult educational environment so fast. my two smaller classes (20 and 24) are delights! my three larger classes (28 and 32) are More Difficult. (you would think we could even that out, wouldnt you. dont get me started.) it's entirely the size, it really is. its not kids fault bc, developmentally, their brains are SO activated by the shit their peers are doing and so NOT activated by the shit their teachers/adults are doing. so basically you have the peanuts teacher except its the NEUROLOGICAL, DEVELOPMENTAL TRUTH. which is why we need small class sizes, interest-based and project-based learning and training on this, prep and meeting time, and... i mean, i can't start listing what we need because i would never stop.

good things that happened: a kid came in just to make sure id kept his amongus artwork up (i obviously had), they continued to be amazingly helpful to each other ("heres a pencil!" "theres a seat over there!" "how the fuck do you not know where the lunchroom is! no i was kidding its fine let me show you"), a ten and a half year old defined and explained gdp perfectly to the utter bamboozlement of everyone else at his table group, i was asked who i mained in mario kart (botw link) and then i also added that my wife mains tanooki mario and they were Actually Impressed and had No Arguments about it (i cannot express to you how hard it is to Actually Impress a middle schooler into having No Arguments), a kid who i had to Talk To In The Hallway managed to get the closest guess on a difficult thing and Bounced Back, we are already getting into linguistic colonialism, and i got to see SO many kids from last year that i missed SO much and teach so many of them too!!! also i think i maybe know what im doing in most of my classes tomorrow. miracle.

#eedutalk

[dittolicous]

well since its all my fault and i wont accept help, then i guess its ok to kill myself then. might as fucking well. since my life is such a burden on society.

they dont care. they always preach about wanting to help but thats just code for 'your a stupid idiot who doesn't know good enough but its ok we'll teach u perspective!'

n b4 people start on how postive affirmation is helpful, i fucking KNOW. i know its helpful but guess fucking what!!!! jobs!!!! dont!!!!! care!!!!!!! bills dont care!!!!!!!!!!! you cant positively affirm money into ur life when you have zero fucking passions or career drive!!!!!!

and besides fucking that, maybe, just fucking MAYBE, some of us are too fucking broken to help!!!!!!

stay active, im on my feet so much it hurts to stand, i ride my bike to/from work at least 3 days a week and used to do it 5 times until my fucking shifts were taken by a transfer! im fucking EXHAUSTED.

i feel like id have to write a dissertation just to get anyone to understand what im saying. because when you say 'i struggle with finding a way to positively view our society thar only thinks we deserve a roof over our heads and food on the table if we sacrifice 90% of our lives to jobs that dont even pay the bills' or 'i didnt choose to be born and im being held hostage in my own life' they say 'life is unfair' as if i wasnt fucking aware

i want to die i want to die i want to fucking die im sick of beinf alive its fucking pointless and nothings going to change that i want to fuvking DIE

if 'perspective change' was a cure we wouldnt have so many people dying in poverty and depression every fucking year

#ditto rants

[faszaakisshobbi]

hi this is just a wee little rant about a upcoming orchestra competition and its really long so im cutting it lol, so read it if you want idk I just need to get some stuff out. its not fully tc related but I do talk about П a bit so??? yeah!

i'm really afraid for this competition coming up. we are combining the top two orchestras who, for the most part, have never played together and we have only 3 weeks and 4 combined rehearsals to make all 50ish students jell. the other orchestra is... slacking to say the least. normally, they are arguably better than the orchestra i'm with, but they haven't been this year and we have played much more challenging music than them which is not how things normally go.

just to lay things out so they might make a bit more sense, we all got the music about a month ago and have been working on it as separate orchestras along with other things so it hasn't been the full focus. my orchestra will be seated on the outside as 1 section principal (which is me!!!), 3rd chair, and 5th chair. and the other orchestra's violas will be on the inside 2nd section principal, 4th chair, and 6th chair. that is how the rest of the sections will be seated as well, but they have a lot more players lmao (the viola section is always super small, but this year both combined we have 6 students lol)

out of all of the sections, violas are likely ones that have it most together despite that ever present stereotype that violas slack off which is untrue in my school at least. The first stand (aka me and my new stand partner from the other orchestra) rocks. also she also goes to Б and we are both doing amazing and both very motivated over others and are both playing pretty complicated stuff. I do also think she hates me and idk why (enemies to lovers 👀 ???) but we've been stand partners before, done duets, and played in a chamber group when I was still on violin and we play well together so yeah 😍 (and ive known her since we were both 9 so I guess we have that going for us)

anyways П quite literally said that if we don't get first place it will be because of the other orchestra. that's so amazing im totally looking forward to that haha lmao. and another thing is П never gets 2nd place. or 3rd. she only gets 1st with a superior rating. and only twice in her 20+ years of teaching has she ever not gotten a superior/1st place and there was a valid reason for that (also her orchestra that year got 2nd only by a few points which is still good). so there is that pressure to need to get 1st- pressure on the students (especially the orchestra that's slacking) but also П puts so much pressure on herself!! last time we had a competition (it wasn't against others it was against a musical standard) she was so stressed that she didn't get ANY sleep and quite literally made herself sick for the days prior. im afraid that will happen again before the competition and im afraid of what will happen if we don't get first. what will she feel? I know when we had a kinda mid/bad mistake in a concert she blamed it on herself but it really wasn't her fault (it was the damn principal 2nd violin. no tbh it was all the players faults). she also is known by many, many people that are both educators and just conductors in the classical music world all across my region and she has a image to maintain and she doesn't want to make herself or the school look bad.

I really don't know how things will go since we haven't even had our first combined rehearsal. the first one is Tuesday and im kinda nervous because my new stand partner is very very judgy and if I mess up she will tell everyone and possibly Б as well so that's so exciting! no it'll be fine and the pieces are fairly simple. one of the pieces is by Mussorgsky who I LOVEEE. I have a thing for Russian composers and Romantic classical music so of course I love him and the rest of The Five. the other piece is some modern thing which I dont enjoy as much but its still pretty cool.

shit this post is longer than I thought it would be, but if you've read this far for whatever reason thanks and i'll probably end up talking a lot more about this and will very likely end up having more orchestra rants so this may become a regular thing. im honestly surprised I haven't talked more about orchestra/chamber stress stuff but yknow 🕺🏽

#personal rant #vent #non tc rant #well its kinda tc related idek

[trickstarbrave]

i actually don’t think ppl understand how little the younger generation has been taught about navigating online spaces. this isnt just “they are so entitled and stupid lol” bc i feel like thats just an excuse to feel intellectually superior and like they were personally lazy and thats why they never learned. 

when i was growing up we were taught how to type at a keyboard. proper placement of fingers. internet safety (dont give up out your full name, address, parents names, where you go to school, etc). how to look something up and do research, filters on various archives and engines, and how to troubleshoot things 

to us these are basic skills for using the internet. requirements really before we were let loose on it. did we always follow them? no. but then when we didnt other people will quick to point and say it was our fault (even when it could be really inappropriate to do so and is was just victim blaming)

but that was because the internet had not invaded all of our lives yet. using the internet required you to know how to type, read, and navigate it. not everyone could afford to buy a computer, and dial up was slow as shit and inconvenient. then people started putting their babies in front of tablets like they did TV and let them loose on youtube, then youtube kids. smaller social media sites aimed towards kids vanished bc they werent as profitable. facebook killed privacy and now the goal was to extract as much ad revenue as possible. this is the internet they grew up with: short form content filled with ads, plastering your name around, and only being able to hop from content to content without much control 

and because these kids have grown up with a tablet in their hands since they could grip things and react to lights on a screen everyone just assumed they knew how the internet worked. that they all just figured out these skills we used to teach people. that they learned to type the most efficient way, that they wont give out personal information, and that they know how to look something up and evaluate academic sources. i mean look, they can navigate youtube by just typing in a bunch of random words and typing to find a video that doesn’t look like shit, obviously they know how to format a question and use filters!

except they don’t. not to mention the rise of unrelated hashtags to reach as wide an audience as possible means once some of these kids get to ao3 their brains are programmed to skim over them and just click on whatever title sounds interesting. they don’t know how to search for stuff without just typing related terms and tropes into the search bar and don’t know how the filtering works, even though AO3 doesn’t have any more complicated of a filtering system than most other archives.  

you can blame their parents and say they’re lazy pieces of shit who should have taught internet safety and never gave their kid and ipad, but it goes deeper than that. the death of TV wasn’t caused by them. underfunded education systems that didn’t teach them this weren’t caused by parents. this is a society wide issue and should be more concerning than “teenagers are annoying online” because corporations have just trained an entire generation of kids to not be able to fact check or stay safe online and rely on them to curate content for them because they never learned how to do it themselves. and this is only gonna get worse if we don’t address it and talk about it and the root issues without going “its those damn kids that don’t know how to take care of themselves, back in MY day--”

#inb4 anyone says they are 14 and taught all this in school: great im glad u were genuinely #a lot of ppl in ur generation werent.