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adhd-ahamilton · 3 years

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I got to see Hamilton in Sydney!!

It was a seriously, seriously amazing time – I was always worried that by the time I finally got to see Hamilton on stage (I was even supposed to see it in America last year lmfao) it wouldn’t mean the same anymore. And like, obviously it’s not my hyperfixation anymore. But even like this, it was still an incredible experience! I always figured that the recording would focus more on close-ups and the like because you can’t really see that on stage, but you really can see so much of what’s going on when you see it live and the whole stage is full of things to notice!

I have a lot of thoughts about it (mainly about the Australian cast, though some of these things could just be live performance things)!

Firstly, only two lines had their wordings changed:

* ‘John Adams doesn’t have a real job, anyway’ → ‘Vice president is not a real job, anyway.’ This got a good laugh from the audience; obviously it was changed to preserve the joke, since most Aussies wouldn’t have a good idea of who John Adams was. (I explained the joke when I watched the recording with my parents.)

* ‘Weehawken. Dawn.’ → ‘Jersey. Dawn.’ This was a bit of a surprise, but the more I think about it the more it makes sense. Aussies also wouldn’t know Weehawken (I didn’t even get that he was referring to a place when I first heard it), while Jersey is very clear because they already made a joke about it. (That one didn’t get much of a laugh though, ofc lol) And it’s actually more consistent because later they do say ‘we were near the same spot my son died, is that why’ so they drive that connection even deeper.

I don’t think there were any other music/staging/choreography differences from the recording – just the acting. But ooh, this really was differently-acted!

Hamilton

I love Lin-Manuel Miranda. I love his energy and enthusiasm and intelligence and his optimism. But while I loved his dorky version of Hamiton, I have to admit, I didn’t always think it matched up with even the musical’s script, let alone the real person. This Hamilton, though? I kept thinking about all the ways he felt different from the original, and almost every time, it was like ‘yeah, this feels more like what I know of the real Hamilton.’ (Or at least, the Hamilton we wrote about in fic.)

This Hamilton is aggressive and prickly. Up until Helpless, we don’t really see him smile – which makes sense, y’know, with ‘talk less, smile more.’ When he confronts Burr at the beginning of the play, he doesn’t have Miranda’s overly energetic and talkative air, he’s more pushy and too intense. You really feel like, oh, yeah, he’s just walking up to someone on the street and badgering them into telling him about their life story. When he says ‘God, I wish there was a war’ he’s less naive and more so hyperfocused on his goal he doesn’t notice he’s said something super insensitive. When Burr says ‘You wanna get ahead?’ his ‘Yes’ isn’t quiet and firm, it’s more ‘yes obviously, nobody would not want to get ahead, so just hurry up and tell me already.’

And that’s just in the first couple of songs! He continues on like this, with that kind of burning intensity and hot temper, through the musical, though ofc it softens at important times. Importantly, his relationship with Burr is largely based in frustration. When he does ‘My Shot’, it honestly feels less like he’s singing to impress the guys and more like he’s challenging Burr and everything he just told him; I’m sure I saw him glancing back at Burr several times. Likewise, when he tells Burr to go get Theodosia, it’s not questioning – he’s outright saying that if he really loved her, he’d take any risk for her. And in Schuyler Defeated, his ‘Burr?’ isn’t questioning there, either – he’s already angry, he’s just demanding his attention. He genuinely seems to like Burr in a weird way that even he might not understand at times, but for the most part he just seems to find him really frustrating and is always trying to incite him to do more.

This Hamilton also feels very independent, and even aloof. In The Story of Tonight, while the other guys are totally sincere and moved by it all, Hamilton feels sorta… distant. At one point he half walks off until Laurens brings him back, which I think happens in the recording as well, but here I especially felt like that was how he was ‘really’ feeling. Not that he was being manipulative or lying in any way, just that he couldn’t be in the moment because he was still stuck in his head thinking about the future. And the whole way through, he very rarely seems to properly open up – my friend said afterwards that Hurricane hits so much harder when it’s the first time he’s really vulnerable in the entire musical. Which is basically how it happens.

It’s funny – you think of Hamilton and Burr as being contrasting this way, with Burr keeping his cards close to his chest and not revealing what he really wants until The Room Where It Happens, but this Hamilton doesn’t feel far off. But rather than keeping a secret per se, it’s more… he has such an incredibly strong, intense drive, and you’re never super certain where it comes from. And in Hurricane, it suddenly becomes clear – all this time, he’s still caught up in that trauma, and still feels like he needs to fight and scrape just to survive, even when it turns into this self-destructive impulse. Honestly, Hurricane has always been kind of a weird song – he’s been corrupted and is not the most sympathetic beforehand, but then you get this grand slow inspiring song talking about how he suffered in the past and overcame it, but THEN you cut to an almost comedic number about how he fucked everything up for himself and his family. In Miranda’s version, that mood up-and-down always felt a little too jarring. Here it made perfect sense – it was so shocking to see how vulnerable he was at the beginning, and then the song isn’t just repeating what we learned in the beginning, it’s explaining what he’s been keeping deep down all along, but also making it clear that this is manic and awful and destructive.

Part of that is the singing, too. This Hamilton can rap really well, but his singing voice is startlingly gentle and beautiful. It really helps to get across the sincerity of his feelings in Helpless, Dear Theodosia, and as I said Hurricane. On the other hand, there are also times his voice just goes flat, like there are so many emotions he can’t process them – you see that a bit in My Shot when he gets worried (‘I never had a group of friends before’), but it REALLY stings when he says ‘I have so much work to do.’ That hit me way harder than Miranda’s version :(

However, when you combine this Hamilton’s aloofness with that certainty and intelligence, you also get a version of him that is particularly… ironic? He’s always crossing his arms (when he’s not rubbing his face with a palm; those two gestures repeat constantly through the play), and kinda stepping back and Watching people, with a bit of a sense of self-important and even patronising judgement. This is very much ‘So quick-witted!’ ‘Alas, I admit it.’ He definitely does come across like a dude who thinks he is ‘smartest in the room,’ and puts way too much stock in his own opinion. Particularly with Burr whenever they were getting along there was a distinct sense of ‘You know what? I actually think you’re pretty interesting. And my positive judgement is hard to come by, so that’s a big compliment.’ (Burr does not seem to get this weirdly condescending vibe though, lol.) Honestly…. I gotta admit: I really don’t like people like that, haha – though I can’t say it’s entirely inappropriate for Hamilton characterisation. This Hamilton genuinely feels difficult, and that matches up to what happens in the script.

But, the consequence is that after Hurricane, some of the later songs didn’t have quite as much of an impact on me as in the original. In It’s Quite Uptown, I could somehow never quite lose that vision of Hamilton as a bit sarcastic and superior – the way he rubs at his face in grief still just felt a little… put-on and theatrical, like you can hear the frustrated sigh underneath. And this is a song that demands complete, total, unrelenting vulnerability – Miranda’s Hamilton sounds like he’s dying the whole time and that makes the emotional stakes really felt. Maybe it’s that his voice was TOO gentle in this song – Miranda’s more awkward voice actually adds to the exhausted brokenness of the situation?

And finally, when we got to The World Was Wide Enough… Miranda’s speech there in the silence might just be my favourite sequence in the entire musical, so I think anyone else would have struggled to match up to that. It doesn’t help that I was distracted trying to figure out Burr in this scene (which I’ll get to later). It was still beautiful, of course, but ‘What is a legacy?’ just feels so so very Lin-Manuel Miranda and anyone else singing that just doesn’t feel the same.

Overall, I really really enjoyed this version of Alexander Hamilton – as I said, he felt much closer to the actual characterisation I always imagined for him. And this one showed some really fascinating vulnerability in unexpected places, even if the ending didn’t quite land as well for me.

Burr

This Burr was really, really fascinating as well – an interpretation that feels different all the way through, but really pays off at the end with something very striking.

So, something the group of us all agreed was that this Burr felt a lot more like the ‘trust fund baby’ he calls himself. There’s something elegant and refined about him, a rich person who is used to moving through the world as a person to be admired. He’s actually quite graceful, somehow, even though he barely dances? But that also really brings to the fore one particular element – entitlement. (Seriously, my mum is physically incapable of bringing up Burr without mentioning the word ‘entitled’, lol.)

This is a Burr who is used to not having to work for things. He just sort of expects things to fall into his lap, eventually, in contrast to Hamilton. The world will eventually shape to match his desires – that’s how things work. Even in the latter part of the musical, it doesn’t so much feel like he needs to fight and scrape like Hamilton to get ahead, but more like… getting ahead is his birthright, and he just needs to effect that inevitable change into the world. But I’ll get to all that later.

The other thing my friend said was that this Burr feels very much like a preacher’s son, and the more I thought about that the more I agree. There’s something almost… toxically positive about him – the smiles don’t feel two-faced and manipulative so much as maybe like, wilfully ignorant? There’s a very ‘Don’t fret, God will work things out in the end :)’ feel about him, actually. But there’s also something deeply naive in him. Leslie Odom Junior’s version also had some of that genuine lack of understanding – when he muses in confusion over Hamilton in Wait For It, or when his face scrunches in confusion when he says ‘I don’t see why that has to end’ in Schuyler Defeated, and this one does all that, but it feels like an even more inescapable part of his character.

Like, there’s something about this Burr that is just a bit… lame. A bit ‘Hello Fellow Kids.’ But, intentionally!! As I said, he’s a preacher’s son. When he tries to act kinda cool or badass, it just doesn’t quite work. When he interacts with the other guys, even as he smiles wanly and shakes it off when they insult him, you feel like he does still want to be – or even think he is? - part of that group of cool young men. He’s just too… nice, almost. I felt a little more bad during The Story Of Tonight (Reprise) and all. And he seems to take it really earnestly that Hamilton likes him, even if, like I said, there’s a sorta superior quality coming from Hamilton.

He just comes across more naive. Rather than a manipulator, this Burr comes across as more of a shameless Yes Man, who doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with what he’s doing. But I also sort of felt like other characters easily saw through him, and Burr didn’t quite realise that. Like with Jefferson, it sorta felt like he thought he was being really strategic but Jefferson was just like ‘sure, this guy works as an ally, even if he’s kinda annoying.’

And when it comes to Wait For It… the song makes it clear that bad things have happened to him – he hasn’t gone through life without suffering – but he hasn’t had the same reaction Hamilton has had. While Hamilton learned nothing will come to him unless he takes it, it feels like Burr learned that things will just… happen to him, good or bad, and he can’t control it. Nothing that has ever really affected Burr has been of his choice – he inherited his position, and then his parents died, and all of that was just the uncontrollable whim of the universe. Leslie Odom Junior’s version emphasised the ‘I am the one thing I can control’ aspect a bit more – you feel that that version really had worked hard and struggled for the sake of his studies and job, but this Wait For It gave me a very uncomfortable feeling of being trapped. It’s as though everything about him is already decided, and even his efforts aren’t personal decisions so much as just what was natural and expected of him to do.

And that makes the second half of the story feel very different for him. In Leslie Odom Junior’s version, we see him take that self-control to new levels – that realisation that there is something that means as much to him as all of that drive and intensity Hamilton puts out, and it’s his own ambition. That he does want that, and he will have to fight and get his hand dirty to make it happen. As the story goes on, he becomes increasingly desperate and fearful, understanding more and more what it was to be that kid in the hurricane, becoming viscerally aware that terrible things can and will happen to him unless he stops them.

This Burr doesn’t feel like that. His downfall isn’t frantic. It’s very very cold.

In The Room Where It Happens, yes, his ambition crystallises and he changes strategy. But it feels less like an electric jolt, or an earthquake, and more of an epiphany. It’s okay for him to do these things. It’s right. He belongs in the room where it happens. Whatever he does to bring him there is by definition right and good.

He honestly seems to be feeling good through much of it. He’s so smiley when he comes up to Jefferson. He seems even more confused than Leslie’s Burr when Hamilton is actually mad at him for unseating Schuyler. And in The Election of 1800, there’s nothing of the original’s tired, manic energy, like he’s pushing himself to the brink and plastering on a smile to get through it. When this Burr campaigns, he’s energized and charismatic and friendly and filled with almost a kind of serenity. Like this is what he was born to do. His future is almost here – he just needs to reach out a little and it will be in his grasp.

Which, brief aside here while I analyse this haha – so, in Australia, a big part of our culture is what is called Tall Poppy Syndrome. i.e., an instinctive bitterness and hostility towards those who are perceived to stand above others. It’s often described as an aggression towards successful people, but I think that’s only part of it. Australians would describe their culture as breezy and casual and relaxed, but there’s also something disaffected about it, IMO. You’re not meant to ever take anything too seriously. Yes, we all take the piss out of politicians, but it’s sorta ‘lame’ to really seriously oppose them, too. It’s like our culture is stuck in the mindset of a self-conscious fifteen year old, where we’re all sorta lazily cynical and ‘bluntly honest’, but you’re not supposed to ever actually do anything about it all. Caring too much is kinda embarrassing. You’re just supposed to make fun of people and keep living your life. We don’t get the same fundamentalist groups intent on forcing their viewpoint on society like America does, but we also don’t get the same idealists who fervently believe that if we work hard we can make things better. They exist, for sure. But… well, it’s hard for me to imagine an Australian Leslie Knope, you know? (Who, btw, is one of my favourite fictional characters of all time, for reference.)

Watching Burr in The Election of 1800, I was struck by a memory. It was an Australian season of The Amazing Race, and on top of all of the typical relaxed Australian reality show contenders (seriously, I don’t know what the fuck Drag Race Down Under is on, that is the most un-Australian reality show I have ever SEEN), there was one couple that were I suppose Go-Getters. The type who eat healthily (probably vegan) and get up every morning in their athleisure to work out at the gym or go for runs. They were peppy and enthusiastic and they announced with huge smiles that they were going to WIN this! And the other contestants absolutely despised them. At one point, they did something to attract specific ire – honestly, it was probably nothing more than just not helping another duo who were going the wrong way, because in Australian reality shows everyone helps. But after that, multiple groups all ganged up to sabotage them. They took such delight in watching these two cheery people’s optimism flag, so very self-assured in having taught them to ‘not take yourself too seriously.’ Burr, as he was campaigning, reminded me of them.

It’s really telling, I think, that Burr is the one who reminded me a little of Leslie Knope, here – albeit obviously a much darker version. The kind of person who dorkily believes in the system and puts himself out there unselfconsciously, whose wide smiles are unironic and unmocking. In the original, Lin Manuel Miranda actually compared Hamilton to Leslie Knope at one point, with Hamilton’s ‘thirty years of disagreements.’ It’s a very Australian thing, to make Hamilton less earnest and more aloof and sarcastic, to make his anger as much about frustration with other people as about believing in something himself, and to make Burr, by comparison, sincere. Australians don’t really trust sincerity. Honesty is to be framed as an insulting joke, and Burr is just too polite to do that.

When the results come, Burr’s serene smile only very very slowly fades. Before his expression really drops, he turns away. When Your Obedient Servant starts, he’s quiet. The whole time he sings, he’s measured and controlled and entirely certain of himself. He doesn’t have LOJ’s grit or spikes in volume on ‘just to keep me from winning.’ He’s unnervingly quiet.

Even into The World Was Wide Enough this continues. In the original, Burr is outright frantic. He’s desperate and shaking with anger and fear, and when he points at Hamilton’s glasses and the like, you can feel that he actually isn’t sure of himself – that he’s trying to justify this to himself and knows he sounds crazy, but he just can’t pull back now. His voice shakes and goes up and down. When he says ‘we were near the same spot his son died, is that way?’ it rises and when he says ‘this man will not make an orphan of my daughter’ he cracks in real tears, like the mention of Philip reminded him of what’s at stake here, like that really is the reason he’ll kill him. This Burr stays quiet and cold. He doesn’t waver.

If that Burr was desperate, this one feels… and I hope this doesn’t sound like a joke: like a thwarted rich nice guy. The other Burr learned from Hamilton too well, and is replicating his self-destructive energy. This Burr hasn’t learned anything at all. Winning is still his birthright, and Hamilton has stolen that from him. Burr deserves it, and he deserves to punish Hamilton for this. It’s not an explosion of shock, a scrabbling for purchase in this new chaotic world that will doom them both. It’s vindictive. Burr knows what he is doing and he wants to hurt Hamilton for all Hamilton has hurt him.

After the shot, I was surprised to find myself not tearing up as I expected (usually, these two last songs always get me). With the original Burr, his singing is laced with pain as much as regret. When he repeats ‘death doesn’t discriminate’, we feel his sorrow as he fits Hamilton into the same kind of category as his parents and wife, as someone important to him who died. When he says ‘he may have been the first one who died, but I’m the one who paid for it,’ we understand that he’s referring to the depth of his grief. That having to live with knowing he killed Hamilton feels, in this moment, worse than death.

This Burr is still cold. And when he finally gets to it, and says ‘I’m the one who paid for it,’ he looks away. He almost spits. His face is contorted in bitterness. It’s rough and gritty, for the first time in the entire musical.

I can remember it vividly – it was shocking to see, and sends shivers through me to remember. I’d been waiting for that cathartic sadness, but it wasn’t here. This Burr, deep down, didn’t feel for Hamilton, at least in the end. He was pissed off because for once in his life his actions had consequences. Because of Hamilton, he had fucked up his life forever. His worldview had been shattered. And at that moment, that was all he could think about – that resignation and bitterness and anger. All along, maybe, he had been nice only because he’d had no reason not to be. Once it didn’t benefit him, and his pride and entitlement were damaged, he showed who he truly was.

It… was an experience, lol. Honestly I think it was partly lost on me because I so loved the original version and was like working myself up ready for a good cry here, so I didn’t get to just sit and take the full impact – I kept searching for a grief or fear that wasn’t there. But I don’t think this version is bad! It’s a very valid interpretation of Burr, and it was extremely fascinating to see unfold.

If I have one critique, it’s that one kind of problem with the whole Australian show is that the performances lacked grit. I really wanted more edge, more aggression, more intensity of those emotions – something more sharp and shocking. Hamilton delivers this kind of thing at times, especially early on, but ofc it fades away in the end. Jefferson, as I’ll get to, is too smooth-talking while also having that cold serene kind of anger. When we lack both Hamilton’s broken It’s Quiet Uptown and Burr’s frantic ‘this man will not make an orphan of my daughter’, we don’t get those life and death stakes quite as highly. By focusing all of Burr’s anger in one line, I think the rest of the songs didn’t have as much of an impact as I’d like.

But!! I really enjoyed this interpretation, and I’d love to see it again knowing what’s coming!

Eliza

OKAY nobody else is going to get those huge walls of text lmaoooo

Anyway this Eliza wasn’t a super different interpretation than Phillipa Soo’s, but I think she pulled it off at least as well, if not even better?

So, the really big obvious thing about this Eliza is her smile. Her actress has this amazing, big toothy grin that feels so lacking in guile, but also still so comforting. It’s so attention-grabbing and almost impossible not to be affected by. It just screams ‘hey, things will turn out okay, so cheer up! :)’ And it’s something that just comes out on Eliza as if on instinct – she’s wearing it through most of That Would Be Enough, and at the end of Take A Break when she escorts Angelica away, and even in Blow You All Away when she’s comforting Phillip or in flickers when describing Hamilton’s old letters in Burn.

The thing about Eliza as a character is that she’s basically defined by her emotional intelligence. She feels as strongly as Hamilton, but where he is uncontrolled and reckless and both self and other destructive, she is the opposite of all of those things. She’s measured and practical and knows exactly who she is and what she wants at all times. She will sacrifice for others, but it’s because she decides to, and if she is hurt, she will not keep herself in harm’s way. It’s an interesting kind of competence and I can understand in theory why it’s cool to have a female character like that even if I, as a neurodivergent mentally ill woman cannot relate in the slightest and feel sorta awkward to be judged against.

This Eliza nails all of that perfectly. She’s effortlessly charming and soothing whenever she wants to be – in That Would Be Enough, when Hamilton is turned away and putting up all of his sharpest bristles, you can feel her become something soft and liquid and find her way up against him regardless without getting hurt. It’s that strength of character that makes their relationship really work – it’s not necessarily that she completely understands him or is good at ‘handling’ him, but that her certainty of purpose and deliberate, skilful compassion make her perfectly suited to calm Hamilton’s deep down insecurities. She loves him entirely and makes him believe that. And when Hamilton responds with his own intensity, she loves that, and believes in that.

And all of that makes it mean so much more when she steps out of that natural mediator role for a moment. In Helpless she’s adorable, so giddy and excited and so clearly crushing on Hamilton with a youthful energy that somehow doesn’t feel all that naive. As she sings she’s constantly glancing back over at him, it’s really cute haha. But she does feel a bit more vulnerable here – it does feel like she’s silently asking for help from Angelica when they talk. More startlingly, there’s Non-Stop – when she calls out ‘Alexander’, it is SHARP. It’s the same kind of tone Hamilton takes when he calls out to Burr in Schuyler Defeated. It’s a bit startling actually, but in a good way.

That tone, I think, foreshadows Burn. Again, I think this Eliza takes the same tone as Philippa Soo, but this version (maybe just because I saw it live!) embodied it even more – she talks about her own desperation to understand, re-reading their old letters, and cites Angelica as back-up, but when she reaches the mid-point, she stops and seems to think. She weighs up the situation and her emotions. And when she says ‘I’m erasing myself from the narrative,’ it is very deliberate and conscious. She is in control of her fate and she can see herself objectively and this is what is just. Her moral core is impenetrable. She sees long arc of the future that Hamilton and Burr are so obsessed with and she says, yes, this is what should be done.

And then in It’s Quiet Uptown, that same self-certainty is there from the very first word. This whole musical, even at her lowest, Eliza has instinctively brought out that comforting, wide smile. Here, her face is expressionless. If Hamilton’s acting here didn’t quite hit my mark, Eliza’s was spot on. The withdrawal of that earlier warmth is all the colder when there is no doubt within her about it, and nobody can argue she’s wrong in that. When she takes Hamilton’s hand, she still doesn’t smile. It’s sad :(

Of all of the final songs, Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story hit me closest to the original. It’s actually almost jarring to see Eliza ask ‘have I done enough?’ This whole song, we hear a hasty energy to her she’s lacked all musical – the first sign that Hamilton has rubbed off on her, too. But when she asks ‘Will they tell your story?’ it’s still Eliza – this isn’t about a legacy, it’s because she’s still that giddy girl from Helpless who loves him and wants to do everything she can for the people she loves.

(Whenever she and Hamilton see each other but appear to walk past one another, only to circle around and meet in the middle again, I cry lmao;;)

Her gasp at the end is soft and quiet and delighted, as though she just spotted someone in the crowd who she hasn’t seen in years and can’t wait to catch up.

If I have one critique, it’s the lack of grit again. Her scream at Philip’s death wasn’t as wild and destroyed as Phillipa Soo’s, and while I like her gasp, I prefer the original’s shocked, overwhelming joy.

Overall though, she was extremely good! Her charisma was just blinding, but it was in that perfectly ‘mundane’ way you’d expect from Eliza. But that solid, immovable core always shone through. They really sold her relationship with Hamilton, too!

Angelica

This is the one I feel like I have the least to say about. My mum said she was the only character who just couldn’t quite match up to the original, and I don’t really agree, but I don’t have a huge amount to say, either.

This Angelica felt a bit older and more mature than Goldsberry. The original Angelica has a bit of brashness and vivid emotion to her – a bit more out there and exaggerated in her actions and expressions. More bold but also more chaotic. This one was a bit more quiet and considering. Diplomatic, maybe?

I actually worried when I first saw her that she wouldn’t be able to carry Satisfied because she was too confident and capable I wouldn’t be able to believe her vulnerability, but no, she pulled that off perfectly. When she was standing in the dark there in the end, the sadness radiated from her.

I actually got a lot more chemistry between her and Hamilton this time; I always thought I disliked the relationship in that canon because of my grudge against how LMM wrote it, but maybe it’s just that LMM was too old for her lmao. You’d think her quietness would contrast with Hamilton’s pushiness, but if anything it feels like she can just eyebrow-arch off his usual way of getting under people’s skin – when she says ‘you forget yourself’ it’s subtly disapproving, then when he delivers the punchline, it’s like he proves himself enough to earn her respect. Indeed, their mutual aloofness actually suits them both really well. You can just imagine them working together, quietly sharing their judgements on everyone else in the room around them. They’d be a terrifying power couple, and that really connects up to her advice in Take a Break.

I don’t have as much to say about the rest of the musical though. (actually IDK if that’s all partly just because by the end my ADHD brain had to work a lot harder to keep up, lol.) Her piece in The Reynalds Pamphlet did the job, and her singing in It’s Quiet Uptown was beautiful.

I guess, if I had to contrast them, the original Angelica felt more spirited and aggressive – very ‘you want a revolution? I want a revelation!’ - while this one felt more like the settled head of the family who already had her place but understood the world perfectly and knew she’d have to pick and choose what she wanted most. (...spoken like that she sounds like a big contrast to Burr, funnily enough?)

Lafayette/Jefferson

So not too much to say about Lafayette – the guy pretty much did him the same as Daveed Diggs, and pulling that off is very impressive but there isn’t too much to analyse here. If anything the Lafayette felt slightly less bright and cheery than the original, which may have been done to contrast with Jefferson.

Jefferson, on the other hand, was quite different. Diggs’ version is very loud and kinda abrasive and arrogant – always smiling and bouncing but with something clearly malicious lying behind all of that. He’s got a harshness to him, deliberately intimidating and surprisingly authentic in what he reveals of himself. He’s a villain character who’s fun to watch because he’s having fun himself and you gotta admire his balls.

This Jefferson is much more smooth and manipulative – maybe taking over from what Burr sometimes delves into? When he first appears, he plays to the crowd, encouraging the cheers, but it’s less arrogance and more like, he’s a celebrity putting on a show. He’s friendly and cheerful all through What’d I Miss?, disarmingly enjoyable to watch. He’s someone who knows the crowd and likes the crowd and is very very good and getting what he wants from the crowd without making it obvious he’s doing that. He’s definitely the type of #relatable celebrity fans would really want to defend.

But Hamilton represents a very clear change to his status quo. He starts off singing What’d I Miss? just in a fun, conversation-starting way as a rhetorical question, but after Hamilton introduces himself, he seems genuinely taken-aback. His last ‘What’d I miss?’ sounds like a genuine question, like, ‘wait wtf what’s going on here all of a sudden?’

And then we get the Cabinet Battles. Despite the above, Jefferson starts off his argument oozing with relaxed confidence. He doesn’t need to take any of this seriously – it’s already in the bag! Everyone loves him and as long as he makes some nice jokes and smiles disarmingly enough, he’ll always get what he want. And then Hamilton starts talking. And he’s pushy and hostile and sarcastic and mocking and angry and superior. And the whole time, Jefferson stands straight and Stares at him. We get none of Diggs’ ‘Haha, this guy is a riot! :D’ type of energy – this Jefferson is deeply displeased, and he is watching very, very carefully to take stock of the situation so he can put an end to it.

It’s actually really well done IMO – when the crowd oohed and ahhed, it felt like a 50/50 of ‘what the hell, people aren’t supposed to DISAGREE with Jefferson!’ and also ‘holy shit this guy is acting like an actual obnoxious child who needs to stfu right now.’ Both Jefferson’s easy entitlement and Hamilton’s unhelpful abrasiveness really got across.

In the second battle, Jefferson is much more careful. Whether it’s because he isn’t underestimating Hamilton anymore or because he cares much more about this, there’s an unamused urgency underlying everything he says. He still tries to be friendly and charming and diplomatic, but his smile drops often. This issue is important and he is not going to back down on it. It’s actually still not quite as immaturely insulting as Hamilton – more like, ‘can we stop humoring this asshole kid already and do something we very much need to be doing?’

(Also fun fact: in The Room Where It Happens, when we get to Jefferson’s version of events, Hamilton’s ‘I had nowhere else to turn’ is SO fake and sarcastic it was really funny, like even the Hamilton in Jefferson’s head can’t bring himself to actually say that sincerely.)

So, when we get to Washington On Your Side, he’s cold. At the time, he contrasts well with Burr, who is all smiles and surprisingly relaxed. This Jefferson is more like Angelica, quietly analysing the situation and slowly coming to a plan. The difference between cold, planning Jefferson and smooth-talking Jefferson is also great.

Because of all this, he has less of the really comedic stuff the original Jefferson got, with the exaggerated expressions and movements – in We Know, he’s more struck dumb by everything than the more over the top reactions Diggs did. But the controlled coldness contrasts with Hamilton better – it makes sense that he was the one who successfully connived himself to the top. And we get much more of that contrast between public and private Jefferson that is one of the interesting real-world meta statements, where who is was to the people and who he actually was were very different.

…….I think I had some kind of impression of ‘because I’m the president’ but I can’t remember what it was anymore. Hrm.

Anyway: enjoyed!!

Mulligan/Madison

So, how I’ve been saying the show lacked grit? I honestly think it might’ve all just collected in Hercules Mulligan lmao – obviously his parts are meant to be bold and brash and powerful, but these ones hit even harder than usual. His part in The World Turned Upside Down was just so Loud I could feel it in my chest! Great performance, I loved it!

Madison was very very different naturally, but also very different from the original version? While the original Madison felt tired and a bit disgruntled, like he was exhausted by Jefferson’s in-your-faceness and just wanted to get this done so he could get back to his work, his one felt much happier to be there. This Madison felt like he actually saw himself as Jefferson’s teammate, like he considered himself part of the show and was happy (even smug) to be helping out. When Jefferson passes him the microphone, rather than say ‘France’ with an irritated expression as if to say ‘everyone already knows this, just get on with it already’, it feels more like this Madison already rehearsed this with Jefferson deliberately. He calls out ‘France,’ as though it is some incredible zinger, like he’s been given the mic drop here. It’s pretty cute haha!

Overall this Madison felt a lot younger. Talking afterwards my mum mentioned that Mulligan’s role is hard because he has to switch to playing ‘an old man’, and was pretty surprised when I said Madison was actually the same age as Hamilton. This version felt a lot more age-appropriate. He still gets sick and starts coughing (and it feels a lot meaner when Hamilton makes fun of him! The dude was just so happy to be here – let him have his zingers!!), but aside from that he thrums with nervous energy behind Jefferson, like he’s ready to help out anytime he’s needed.

In all, he kinda feels like he fulfils that certain comedic henchman trope a bit? It really comes together with the ‘Can we get back to politics?’ ‘:’( please!!’ exchange. Madison isn’t made fun of, per se – it’s not like he really does enough in the script to get that kind of attention. But he’s just a bit funnier and more sympathetic, while also strangely feeling more like he and Jefferson are an actual team. (I mean, Jefferson hands him the mic as though he’s setting up a zinger, too. They’re both a bit ridiculous!)

Laurens/Phillip

Okay, this was one I was really curious about, for obvious reasons – LMM always sorta made it out that since he never included any of the Hamilton/Laurens stuff in the script, he kinda tried to act it in there more. In Story of Tonight or Ten Duel Commandments, or even briefly in the opening song, there’s meant to be a closeness that hints, however subtle, at that relationship.

Unfortunately, I didn’t get that at all here.

Laurens’ casting surprised me at first – he’s super short and extremely baby-faced, to the point that I wondered if he wasn’t played by a cis man. (His actor is a man, though, though ofc I wouldn’t know if he’s cis or not.) I was kinda confused about that all through the first act… until I got to the second act and, uh, remembered. But despite this – perhaps because of it? - he is an absolute firecracker. He’s hot-headed and rough and determined and every bit the young impassioned soldier.

He’s a bit more naive in the early songs – he seems genuinely friendly with Hamilton in The Story of Tonight, and you feel like he really does just like him from the moment he hears Non-Stop – but like I said, Hamilton is still pretty closed-off through all of that, so… it doesn’t really feel mutual. Hamilton likes him fine, but it doesn’t feel like he cares as much as Laurens does.

In Satisfied, he indeed seems super drunk, but it’s more like he’s just too young and drinking too much at a party than anything. The only time I really felt any particular chemistry between him and Hamilton actually comes from Story of Tonight Reprise – when Hamilton wanders off to speak with Burr, in sincere friendship, and Laurens comes over and starts ribbing Burr about his girl with almost malicious energy, it did sort of feel a little like he was jealous, if only that Hamilton and he had been talking so easily.

Finally, we get to Stay Alive. There, Hamilton and Laurens are just so angry and disgusted with Lee that they don’t really have room for anything else. It’s all very focused and determined and Manly, without any time for something softer or close between them. And I’m not sure how to feel about that. Laurens’ revulsion for Lee is historical record, and it says a lot about him and his values that that was so important to him. But there are other important parts of Laurens – that worry and fear and insecurity inside him, that ended up being so damaging to him. In such a limited script for him, ‘Alexander, you’re the closest friend I’ve got’ is really his one chance to show some of those emotions before he dies. Instead, Laurens never really gets to show that vulnerability, and I worry that it makes him feel too much like a ‘generic soldier character.’

I wonder if it’s because this Laurens looked so youthful that they sort of overcompensated, and felt the need to make him extra manly to make it clear he belonged there despite his appearance. But it sort of felt a bit too… macho for me. Nowhere to be found is that 18th century romantic friendship. Instead, it’s been replaced by a more WWI era Comrade and Comrade type deal. They’d die for each other, but would they write romantic letters to one another? And I think this is also unfortunately pretty Australian – real emotion is lame!! The only acceptable emotion is fucking hating your boss, and challenging him to a duel with your squadmate to get him what he deserves.

Well, I’m reading too much into it all, lol. But I always felt like the original Laurens barely got to show much of himself as it was, and this one felt even less so, unfortunately.

His final scene – is it We May Not Live To See Your Glory? - is done well, though. Again, Laurens just sorta feels like a generic young soldier, but ‘idealistic soldier who died too young’ is moving enough on its own. And in one of those rare moments, Hamilton really does feel shaken and vulnerable. ‘I have so much work to do,’ as I said, hurts – so lifeless and unlike him. Like nothing could process those emotions in him now, or express them.

Philip, on the other hand, is the exact opposite. First of all, yeah – having a shorter, younger-looking actor makes that Take a Break scene WAY less awkward, haha. It wasn’t even funny, it was just like ‘oh huh this just kinda looks all right?’ And the actor did really well playing a kid! He looked like a completely different person there, which is really good.

And then we get to Blow You All Away, and hoo boyy. If Laurens had been excessively confident, Phillip oozes uncertainty with everything he does. When he flirts with the girls ‘when I come back we’ll all strip down to our socks’ he manages to pull off the cocky act but in basically every other line you can see and hear the ‘a-am I doing this right? I’m not screwing this up, am I?’ radiating off of him. He definitely believes he’s doing the right thing – when he says ‘you talk about my father I will not let it slide’ there’s no hesitation – it’s just that he very clearly isn’t sure if he’s up to the task of doing it.

It was sorta interesting, actually – I think the original Phillip was more naively overconfident and reckless, and only had an attack of the nerves after he got himself into the duel. But – and this might just be me projecting here, lol – when this Philip confronts Eacker in the theatre, I got a real sense of like… ‘??? can I do this here? Where are you meant to threaten duels???’ and when Eacker is like ‘piss off, I’m watching this show now’ he seemed to wilt a lot, and straight up froze for a second or two, like he really didn’t know what to do at that point. And then of course when he talks to Hamilton he’s really worried…

And then his death. Somehow, I never used to cry much when this happened – it’s obviously very sad, but it didn’t manage to hit the right heartstrings to make crying, even in the recording. But oh god, this one was just awful… Even as he’s dying, Philip is still just so desperate for approval, like he’s so scared his parents will be mad at him for screwing it up, and Eliza is trying so hard to reassure him before he dies… I cried a lot :(

So overall, I really liked this Phillip, even if I don’t necessarily think it’s an improvement to the original. Laurens I kinda preferred the original, though this was still an interesting interpretation that gave me a lot to think about!

Washington

The guy did well! He has what Washington needs, and that’s a stature. When he’s on stage, your eyes are just naturally drawn to him. Even when he’s not doing much, he’s still a little intimidating. He has presence!

And in fact, this actor had an interesting quirk where the whites of his eyes could be seen easily? In Right-Hand Man, as he’s striding around at the center of the stage, his eyes just looked white, and it drilled in that slightly manic, crazed intensity underlying his strict, rigid rapping and self-control. It have the whole thing a really great effect.

But this Washington also had a sort of almost… slight fem-ness to him, that I didn’t get as much from the initial? It’s funny how during One Last Time, I suddenly got this vivid though, ‘oh, it’s like he’s a cool supportive teacher.’ Which… obviously?? Haha. Like he’s clearly a mentor to Hamilton all the way through! But it’s that specifically teacher description I really felt all of a sudden, that he was warm and approachable and gentle at heart, despite everything I said above lol.

Like, I feel like this Washington was just a bit less stoic than the original? Slightly more expressive and less stern. When he says ‘I’m from Virginia, so watch your mouth,’ in the original, it sounded like he was genuinely kinda offended? It was ‘watch your mouth’ as in ‘don’t disrespect my home state.’ But in this one, Washington sorta grimaces a little theatrically and says it more incredulously, like he’s actually saying ‘you wanna maybe try thinking about who you’re talking to before you say that shit, son?’ It’s more of a warning – less that he’s upset and more that other people would be, so he should really try thinking before he speaks.

He also still does the part in Who Lives Who Dies Who Tells Your Story when Eliza says she spoke out against slavery and he kinda stumbles and stares and then looks down in shame, given the real Washington’s actions.

I liked him! I felt a little more warmly to him in the end than the original, but that might just be a product of seeing it live.

Peggy/Maria

Okay so I don’t really have anything to say about Peggy, which had basically always been the case, hah. :’) I mean, I think this version made the transformation between her initial wariness vs her later excitement more clear? But that is very likely a live show thing.

Maria, though!! Honestly? I was never really a fan of the original Maria’s performance. She just feels too much like a cliched seductress archetype, and while you can argue that that’s the role she plays in the story, especially since there’s the uncertainty over whether or not she was deliberately setting Hamilton up, it just feels too on the nose. It makes it harder to believe Hamilton didn’t know what was up the moment he saw her, which I don’t think is intentional. And it makes me feel bad for the real Maria Reynolds.

But this one was very different – much more vulnerable. When she first talks to Hamilton, she’s not doing a sexy pout and throaty singing, she’s just sorta… quiet and monotone and lost, much like Hamilton gets when he’s too emotional as well. Like she’s in shock and truly has nowhere to go is just sort of crumpling as a person. And when she propositions Hamilton, again it feels sincere – she just wants him to stay.

And after he talks to James Reynolds (just as perfectly, theatrically assholish as in the original), that continues. When he confronts her, she genuinely seems desperate and scared and upset. I felt so, so sorry for her that I was yelling in my head right then ‘you can’t just leave her now!’ at Hamilton – and then immediately remembered what that’d mean… it’s a much more gripping situation.

And then in the end, James Reynolds walks off and claps, and Maria just stops, face and body entirely stoic, and follows after him in silence… Is that an indication it was all an act from her? Or is it that she’s so scared of him that she totally closes up and can’t cry, can’t show any kind of emotion or weakness around him, and just has to try and be a silent and flawless wife? No matter how you interpret it, it’s chilling.

Oh, and IDK if this is done in the recording, but in The Reynolds Pamphlet, she gets given one, too, and her look of just… upset/disgust is also really painful. At the end they say ‘his poor wife’, but who thinks about poor Maria?? :(

I still wouldn’t say that this is an accurate adaptation of the real events, since I think that gets right into the script and structure of Hamilton in ways that a regional performance just can’t really make better. But this version is at least better. It plays Maria with more dignity, I think, than making her into a sexy bombshell, even if that bombshell act does get subverted in the original as well. This one feels significantly more sympathetic.

King George

He was great!! He was played by an older actor who seems to have done a lot of serious Shakespearian plays, which of course makes him absolutely perfect – both in that he could flawlessly depict that pompous old privileged Brit, but also in that he probably has a good backing in comedy and political satire :P He was clearly having the time of his life playing to the crowd – throughout all his time on stage he was constantly alternating between doing one or two lines very serious and mostly straight, before doing something absolutely hilarious. That back and forth worked extremely well!

Also I never saw it properly on the recording but when he gets up and dances in the middle of the stage during the Reynolds Pamphlet?? AMAZING.

Obviously, Johnathon Groff is his own personality and is friends with LMM and brings all of that unique stuff to the table that nobody could replicate. But this actor was just as much fun to watch, and does have the added benefit of really looking and sounding the part.

Final Thoughts

I’d really love to hear other people’s thoughts on this run, especially from the perspective of it being an Australian cast/audience – I really hoped the booklet would include at least a piece or two from someone who worked on this run, but it did not. (In fact, it was one of the scantest musical books I’ve seen? I don’t regret buying it as a souvenir of course but usually they have at least one or two interesting pieces of new content aside from just backstage pics…)

What really sticks out to me is the structure of it all. Hamilton is definitely the central character that brings everything together through the first ¾, but around The Room Where it Happens Burr starts to take over bit by bit, allowing him to keep up the energy as Hamilton falls back further and further into becoming both less of a hero but also more quiet and passive. By The Election of 1800, Burr is giving us all the energy – until the end of The World Was Wide Enough, when he too falls back and Eliza takes over.

Given this, this Hamilton did an incredible job throughout most of the performance – he had amazing chemistry with every other character and really exemplified that scrappy, intelligent, driven, but aggressive and difficult character that never quite shined through in LMM’s performance for me. Burr’s more subtle performance complements that well, and he even arguably outdoes Leslie Odom Junior in The Election of 1800. However, after that I think his quieter acting and singing sort of fails to fill the hole Hamilton left behind, reducing the climax a bit of its energy. Thankfully, Eliza was able to bring that all back for her final number.

It also strikes me that this performance is a bit less teary, at least from the men. Eliza, Angelica, and Maria all bring out that vulnerability and the sadness of their positions wonderfully – a great improvement in Maria’s case, for me. However, Burr’s The World Was Wide Enough severely downplays the sincere regret angle, while Hamilton never quite hits the right notes on It’s Quiet Uptown. However, Hurricane and Phillip’s performance in Blow You All Away definitely hit that fear and panic leading to self-destruction. (Interesting I guess that Burr doesn’t also seem more fearful in The World Was Wide Enough?) Is that also a gendered expectations thing, perhaps?

Either way, I’m extremely glad I was able to see it if only for Hamilton’s performance – honestly, maybe the reason it seemed to lose a lil steam was just that Hurricane was so good everything else failed to follow it, haha. Burr also absolutely fascinated me here, too, and that was so much fun to see play out in real time!

Hamilton will be coming to Melbourne next, and I’m not sure yet if I’ll be able to go there but I’d really like to! It’d be really fun to test out these expectations/conclusions of mine with a fresh viewing, as well as see any other new cast changes/interpretations…!

#Hamilton #Hamilton Sydney #musical #this is INCREDIBLY long lmfao #IDK if I should apologise or the opposite #I miiiight end up xposting to ao3 as well as a meta #if I can be bothered to read it through and edit it a bit maybe heh

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quirrelmorts · 4 years

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Very long list of perfect Homecoming things:

- The lighting

- Darren looking like Hidgens

- 40 singers!

- (Damn that G.L.E.E.)

- Whole show is because of the fans!

- The orchestra!!!

- Clark and AJ directing and playing piano

- Jeff wearing eyeshadow and Denise’s necklace

- Mariah’s voice

- Lauren’s whole outfit

- Jeff’s energy

- Jeff looking into the camera during Join Us And Die

- Jeff’s hair (I love Jeff)

- All of Show Stoppin Number

- Jon and Mariah being workin boys (Mariah’s excited “yeah!”)

- Lauren Walker

- Meredith’s leather jacket and Brian’s floral shirt

- Tiffany holding up the sky

- Denise’s whole outfit

- Rachael’s energy

- Brian being weird

- Joe saying his lines so seriously

- Cave wives 🥺

- Firebringer just has such good music

- Meredith’s peace signs during all her exits

- Jeff being so proud of Trail to Oregon

- The audience participation in “good morning”

- Corey Dorris

- Jeff’s energy again but more chaotic

- The incredible speed of each “faster”

- Joe’s Boba Fett hoodie

- Clark going from directing to singing

- Nick’s shirt (I messaged him about it)

- Mark’s voice!

- Ongoing acknowledgment of Clark’s attractiveness

- Joe Walker is the best person ever

- Jim!!!!!

- This whole list could be just Joe things

- Britney and Carlos are actually the best Starkid singers and they radiate joy

- Dylan Saunders

- Julia Albain appreciation!

- More Nick plus cool mic effects

- Everyone’s voices in Rogues Are We

- Nico’s hair!

- More Joe obviously

- Dylan and Jaime pointing to the camera during “I wanna be your friend forever”

- Occasionally you can see other Starkids watching from the side of the stage

- Denise being the sweetest

- “3 hour space opera with only 8 songs”

- MARIAH AND ALEX I HAVE CHILLS

- Alex’s vocal improvement

- The og mosquito brothers!

- Brant!

- Me And My-

- Joey examining the mics

- Joe’s excitement causing him to sprain his ankle the first show

- AJ jumping in

- Listen to Your Heart is actually my favourite Starkid song I think

- Alle-Faye and Ali!

- SANGO AND ELONA

- Nick’s awkwardness

- Just the first notes of Back to Hogwarts bring tears

- Yes Darren is very famous. Yes he is under-appreciated.

- The headband!

- FLOO POWDER POWER

- The amount of love everyone has for Draco

- Dylan’s entrance through the audience

- HUFFLEPUFFS ARE PARTICULARLY GOOD FINDERS

- Joe is a Ravenclaw king and Jim is a Slytherin goddess

- All of Harry Freakin Potter

- To Have A Home felt so intimate

- Darren is a performer

- Also he’s improved so much over the years

- QUIRRELMORT

- Have I mentioned the orchestra

- This just sounds extra romantic

- Intricate rituals...

- They skip off together

- BONNIE SINGING

- AND MEREDITH

- THE BEAUTIFUL DUET WE NEVER THOUGHT WE’D GET

- The og guitar

- Clark and AJ chilling in the background

- THAT’S IN CANADA

- Darren and the audience being incredibly pure

- Darren playing guitar for Granger Danger is always a great addition

- Joey and Lauren have also improved so much it’s unbelievable

- THE LEVEL OF DRAMA

- The clapping for the tap dancing, I relate to knowing it that well

- Joe Did That™ with an injured foot

- More Quirrelmort

- “I’m gonna kill you” FJVKHCJFZHFS

- THE SINGING IS THE ACTUAL BEST

- The entire mouse prince monologue, exactly what we needed

- AJ IS FABULOUS

- That little bit that sounded like an epic villain song

- THAT PROJECTION

- And he goes right back to directing

- How did they get away with Guys Like Potter at a pg concert

- It’s stunning though, Tyler is so under appreciated

- Blond lawyer Snape

- Amazing how this song breaks my heart

- Joey’s emotion

- The violin

- The high note of course

- I’M CRYING IMMEDIATELY EVERYTHING ENDS IS THE SADDEST STARKID SONG I LOVE THE MARAUDERS

- Brian and Brian waving to each other

- THE HOPE

- I feel so loved

- “I’m smiling”

- I have chills again

- To think Voldemort Is Going Down was originally added to AVPM last minute

- Sick piano riff

- Days of Summer I’m crying again

- Oh this hits hard during social isolation

- Dylan bowing down to the orchestra, everyone just vibing

- This is so comforting

- Tiffany crying during Darren’s speech, Starkid means so much

- Denise and Brian holding hands, I have no choice but to stan their friendship

- Joey making Joe laugh, Joey’s face in the background, meanwhile Sango is an angel

- The classic Starkid style encore with the bonus iconic Quirrelmort moment

- Deadliest Man energy

- Okay is wonderful

- Darren always just having the most fun

- Quick reminder that I love Jeff

Thank you Starkid for the fantastic music and community

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howtotrainyouragents · 3 years

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Things I Noticed in the Hamilton Film

Soooo, I was supposed to have posted this last year when the film first dropped, and I forgot...

Anywayyyy, things that were new, from the album, or was obvious to everyone but me. This is literally just me listing details I loved for my own keepsake later on

I hope this film’s success (and the play’s hopeful continued success on stage), shows that Broadway plays can and should be filmed for everyone

Lin Manuel Miranda is a brilliant writer, scriptwriter, musician, rapper, singer, and a genuinely lovely person, but I think my favorite part about him is his acting. He has such a pure naturalness and sincerity in his acting. He nails microexpressions/gestures and sometimes I forget that he’s acting

E.g., Lin’s devastation after Washington kicks him out

There’s some songs I wondered what their purpose was, but watching it I understood. For example, Story of Tonight sets up the purpose of the revolution. Like, My Shot is Hamilton’s ‘I want’ song, but Story of Tonight is all of the revolutionaries ‘I want’ song, and that’s why it comes up again for Laurens and Hamilton at their ends

Samuel Seabury’s acting was gold

In Right Hand Man the way the backup stage/cast lights up as they sing ‘not throwing away my shot” and Hamilton agrees to work for Washington

The fact that Helpless ends with “You’ll be a new man” because Hamilton is still so obsessed with his own ascendency

HOLY FUCK RENEE ELISE GOLDSBERRY

They way they start Satisfied, it’s like Angelica doesn’t know the true extent of her devastation until she gives her toast and says “satisfied”. Like, she knows what she’s done but she’s still thinks this is fine and this is for the best, and it’s not until this moment that the weight of it fully hits her. By the end of it, it’s like she’s barely holding it together for this toast

Towards the end of the song, Eliza kisses her cheek and Renee’s expression is like she’s about fall apart in that very moment from the sheer overwhelming joy and pain

So in Helpless when their talking about letters, Peggy does a cute random shimmy while handing Eliza the letter. But then in Satisfied we see that she’s doing the shimmy to the beat of Satisfied, meaning that she knows how Angelica feels and knows about the love triangle

I’m trying really hard not to scream about the rewind of all the dance and action in Satisfaction but please know I am internally screaming about this forever.

Almost forgot, Burr and Hamilton were friends at one point. Burr shows up for his wedding to wish him well :(

I wasn’t gonna scream that much here, but LESLIE ODOM JR.

Leslie’s smile- amused and scoffing disbelief- when singing about Hamilton in Wait for it

Speaking of Wait for it, the way the whole cast is waiting on stage and the balconies as Burr sings. and the way the dancers shift to Hamilton’s direction when Burr talks about him

Also the lighting creates boxes on the stages, like Burr is trapped. But then this reappears in Your Obedient Servant

I never knew the lyrics were “This is commonplace, 'specially 'tween recruits” and not “’tween corps” in Ten Duel Commandments...makes more sense

I think there’s 10 people in that line up in Ten Commandments

The way Stay Alive conflicts Hamilton’s precious notions of sacrifice, and forces him to shift his focus from dying to legacy

The mimic of the bullet in Stay Alive

The way that Eliza is also so excited about the war and the scholars in The Schuyler Sisters and that excitement goes away after she has the actual risk of losing someone she loves because of the war

Who’s the choreographer because DAMN (btw it’s Andy Blankenbuehler)

Also the dancers lifting up other dancers for whole bars? Incredible

The way women are interwoven into the story of the war, singing the chorus and setting the scene and rejoicing with the soldiers at the end

The fucking red lighting in Yorktown. Also, the shot in the song’s pause is one of the best shots in musical history.

The fact that ‘black and white soldiers wonder alike if this really means freedom’ ‘not yet’ is a commentary on slavery and the line is said by Washington

The brilliant way What Comes Next undercuts the gravitas of Yorktown .

Also, King George loses more and more of his costume and moves around more as the show goes on. Also, blue lighting with “I’m feeling blue” hahaha

Lafayette and Hercules getting the same letter about Laurens + Hamilton’s sobbing. And Laurens’ singing ‘there will be more of us’, referring to the future generations who will fight and win abolition.

Nonstop:

Burr’s disgust while Hamilton rants. Hamilton’s pouting then childish glee at the beginning

Burr stays at the bottom of the staircase after Hamilton climbs it. Also, Jefferson descends the staircase after Hamilton ascends it, indicating their statuses

The refrain of “How does a....” shows up in Nonstop as Burr’s “How do you write...” (other characters sing their own personal refrains but Burr sings this), and it’s like this ongoing, jealous, incredulous questioning of how Hamilton became so successful, and part of the answer of how he did it is that he doesn’t stop writing and working.

Regardless of which sister he ended up with, love was never gonna be enough for Hamilton

The way Daveed Diggs jumps and dances and dives across the stage in just about every song he’s in. The man truly deserved the Emmy

Jefferson’s being surrounded by his slaves because he sucks

Hamilton’s costume goes from white --> brown-->blue-->green-->black and someone with more color scheme expertise needs to dissect this for me please

The fact that even Burr peaces out when it comes to the affair, like, nope, this is too messed up even for me

An in-universe explanation as to why the Ten Duel Commandments and Phillip’s count is the same is that Hamilton’s killing (metaphorically and literally) in order to stay alive is a part of their family’s DNA.

Anthony Ramos is phenomenal at playing 9 years old then having to switch to 19

The fact that Phillip was probably so determined to defend his father is that this is after the Reynolds Pamphlet and everyone was humiliating and scorning Hamilton

The Room Where it Happened

Hamilton is like an apparation to him, and Burr is both scared and begging the ghost to reveal the truth

The fact that this song is a plot song and a ‘i want’ song and a villain song all at once. Also, the song picks up speed to signal the shift from historical recounting to ‘i want’ song

They replay the beginning where Jefferson/Madison call for Hamilton

Jefferson being the one to ask “Don’t you remember Lafayette”, and there’s like a slight change in his demeanor that’s more Lafayette then Jefferson

Burr, Madison, and Jefferson discreetly talking to each other in Washington on Your Side representing their nefarious schedming. Also, Daveed Diggs keeps Jefferson’s limp even without the cane. Also Madison is angry at Hamiilton when he says “the bill of rights, which I wrote!”

One Last Time:

How perfectly the Bible verse reflects Washington’s opinion of legacy. The younger men are obsessed with preserving their own memories in history, but for Washington, his legacy would be that everyone would be safe and at peace.

Washington’s practically crying at the end

Hamilton asking Washington here to teach him how to say goodbye because Hamilton genuinely doesn’t know how: people left him before he could ever say goodbye

We Know: Jefferson’s pure WTF face when he says “my God...”. In this reaidng, Burr definitely threatened him (I didn’t always intepret that way when listening). But Hamilton’s still an idiot.

Hurricane: Once again, Lin’s facial expressions. The way the the chorus stands around and watches him. But also the freaking brilliant way that the dancers mimic the hurricane, and Burr and Maria are the only other people in the hurricane with Hamilton. But at the end, it’s just Hamilton and the desk

Reynolds Pamphlet: The way Washington can’t even look at him, but Angelica gets in his face to yell at him. Also, Jefferson hands a pamphlet to the conductor

This reading, Phillippa Soo sings Burn with so much rage and fury and that is pretty much my favorite part of this entire film

Hamilton’s face at “Alexander, did you know?”

The fact that Angelica narrates Uptown because it’s too intimate for Burr or anyone else to narrate. Eliza’s changing facial expressions as she slowly lets him in. The way Hamilton just completely breaks down and sobs

The Election of 1800:

Jefferson shaking his head when Madison suggests Hamilton

Burr’s falseness is hilarious. He hands Hamilton a pamphlet.

Jefferson’s look of resignation when Hamilton is making his decision, then starts dancing around when he’s won

The close-up of Burr’s face falling when he realizes who Hamilton has voted for

The whole “runner-up becomes VP” thing made me think about if we could have had Hillary Clinton as VP, and I made myself sad.

Your Obedient Servant: I always saw this song as a reflection of the custom, but I never fully appreciated how it reflects their relationship: their relationship has completely disintegrated, but their working to maintain this false appearance of friendship/civility that no longer has a place in their relationship.

Also, Burr’s increasingly incensed and it does not help that Hamilton sends like a 12-page letter and the dancer even teases Burr

The guy who gives Hamilton Burr’s duel challenge plays Charles Lee. Karma

The World Was Wide Enough

Burr’s POV then Hamilton’s POV, like this story has become less and less about Hamilton and he is no longer in control of who’s telling his story

The shot of Eliza walking away and in her wake, it’s Burr shooting

Burr’s alone in the stage, finally realizing the world (aka the stage) was wide enough for the both of them, but it’s too late. Also, in part foreshadowing his own future: that he had the world before him regardless of Hamilton, but he was completely ruined after this duel

I definitely cried at ‘the orphanage’. Also I interpret the gasp at the end as her breaking fourth wall and seeing the audience and realizing that Hamilton’s legacy has continued even to today.

#hamilton #i know it's cool to hate hamilton now #but i dont #so forgive me for putting this on your dash #agent report #agent h

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suhmayzooka · 4 years

Text

cursed child broadway, feb. 23, 2020

third time seeing cc in three months for one reason: my sister is, in her words, “in love with joey labrasca” (karl). she thinks he’s absolutely perfect. this past week i’ve endured her talking about how hot he is. i mean, i’ve gotten quite a bit of good lily luna material for my fics now, but at what expense? did i need to know that joey’s (very mild) acne made him look handsomer? did i need to know about how deep his eyes are? did I?

i teased her about what she’d do if he wasn’t on, and she said she’d be so upset.

we get to the theatre, i look at the cast…and james romney was karl.

my sister was shocked. the love of her life, who most likely has forgotten about her existence, wasn’t there for what looks to be our final time seeing the year 2 cast. she was devastated.

we also got to see antoinette robinson as hermione and tom patrick stephens as ron! and sarita amani nash was myrtle!! and kimberly dodson as polly!!

james!karl was great and i will bombard my sister with as much james romney content as i can in order to piss her off further :)

patrick du laney was the sorting hat and aaron bartz was the station master. we actually saw aaron walking into the theatre as we waited outside for part 2. he definitely has the draco swagger.

anyway let’s get to the good stuff!

~james snyder as harry! great as usual. i don’t think he did much differently than last time, or if he did it wasn’t very noticeable.

~diane davis as ginny – same w james. i think she held on to albus longer when they hug in godric’s hollow this time?

~jonno roberts as draco: okay this guy singlehandedly inspired me to start a fic back in december (that has…….yet to be finished………) with how his draco and bubba’s scorpius behaved and this was no exception. idk whether his mic got caught on something or if he was really bringing it all out, but when he shoves scorpius’s head against his desk in the dark world, he GROWLED the “you do NOT use her name in vain” line ???? i’ve never heard him say it like that, it’s usually more of a hiss. idk how to describe how he said it other than “growl.” almost like an animal.

then when he said “do it safely, i can’t lose you too” he’s looking directly at scorpius. it’s different from how i’m used to seeing him and closer how i picture him saying it; usually he’s looking away, like he’s afraid of showing vulnerability to scorpius. but here, with him looking directly at him, and said with so much emotion and love, even in such a dark place…oOOF

he refused to let go of scorpius when they met again in godric’s hollow. my heart…..always one arm around scorpius’s shoulders, or one hand on his chest, as scorpius clings on to him.

~kimberly!polly SMILED and giggled when she stepped in blood? “oh, potter, i’ve got blood on my shoe!” *delighted* and then as the staircase rolled away, she turned on her stomach to gaze down at scorpius, grinning flirtatiously. this is my second time seeing her as polly, but from what i remember, katherine!polly wasn’t as sadistic in the dark au as she was. i personally prefer kimberly!polly.

~sarita!myrtle!! like w kimberly!polly this is my second time seeing sarita!myrtle and i don’t really remember much about lauren!myrtle to compare, but sarita!myrtle was hilarious. she got a round of applause just for appearing. “girls….*turns around, stares directly @ albus* AND BOYS” *albus turns around, confused, as if she’s talking to someone behind him* UGHHH she’s so good and she’ll absolutely kill it as (main) polly, i can feel it.

~this was my first time seeing jack pravda as young harry! his voice is deeper than zell’s, and he was so adorably confused in the graveyard scene. “why are there so many flowers?”

~antoinette!hermione was a lot less playful than jenny!hermione. she does try for comedic effect, but she’s a bit more serious overall. she was so scary in the first timeline! when she waves her wand to dismiss the class and she’s standing all alone, she looks out with such a distant, despairing expression, then composes herself immediately.

~tom!ron was very funny! again, my issue with ron in cc comes down to how he was written. he may have been relegated to shitty comic relief (why……is one of the first things he says……a fart joke…..?), but it’s up to the actors do what they can to flesh out some semblance of a likeable character from the bs that the script gave us. and tom!ron was great!! he’s not as…dopey? dorky? as matt!ron, who’s very funny but a bit—childish? i guess? tom!ron feels more like an adult who still has a childish sense of humor, if that makes sense.

~ROMIONE. watching a new take on romione was like falling in love w romione all over again. tom/antoinette was a very loving pair. jenny/matt tease each other a lot more, but tom/antoinette are more tactile. their kiss was so sweet

~there’s hardly any love for sara farb’s delphi for some reason. i’m not sure why; her shift from delphi diggory to delphi riddle is so chilling. delphi diggory has a high pitched voice and is really goofy around albus. scorpius absolutely hates her lmao. as soon as she switches, her voice drops to a low growl and she’s downright terrifying. i’m sad to see her go!

~WILL CARLYON. is it possible to fall in love with the portrayal of a character in a handful of scenes? he’s got like five lines total but oh my god. one thing a lot of people note about nicholas!albus is the way he’s so obviously a fourteen-year-old child. will’s james sirius potter is SUCH a thirteen-year-old in the opening scene…it’s somewhat disconcerting watching this very-obviously-twenty-something-year-old man flap his arms going “WATCH OUTTT FOR THE THESTTRRAAAAAAALS” but it works? it’s believable?? he’s so close with lily luna. this is my third time seeing him and every time he pretends to pounce on her and hug her during the thestral line i fall in love?? ginny scolds him and he is sheepish, but he won’t stop making the troll face at albus. “SLITHERING SLYTHERIN STOP WITH YOUR DITHERING” *smacks albus*

~yeah i promised jsp content and i’m fucking delivering

~he’s sO excited watching albus get sorted. when the hat goes “SLYTHERIN” he’s absolutely shocked. he’s confused. he just stares at albus, confused, until yann (jonathan gordon, who once again gives us a delightfully dislikable yann) says some shit and james just turns to him and swats his hand at him. he genuinely looked ready to fight yann. i couldn’t tell but i think he tells him to stop?? it was hard to hear but his mouth definitely moved, i think to tell yann to cut it out.

~the scene with the students eavesdropping on mcgonagall’s meeting with the parents. oh my god i don’t think he did anything that much differently than last time but i need to talk about this because i didn’t do it justice in my last recap.

~they sit on the stairs (iirc) top to bottom craig, yann, karl, rose, james. i’m gonna ignore craig, yann, and karl since there are some serious family feels going on w rose and james

~jsp and rose begin the scene smiling, snickering as they hear that albus and scorpius fucked up. “ahaha they got into deep shit” but then when they learn that they wrote rose and hugo (??whom??) out of time and then killed harry, their faces fall. james’s eyes become vacant, far-off as he learns what happened to his brother. his breathing becomes heavier and faster until he’s a few breaths from hyperventilating. he leans his forehead against the stairwell/banister and shakes his head, mouthing/whispering “no…no…”

~nadia brown’s rose is such a little shit but she’s so good in this scene. when she learns that she didn’t exist in the new timeline, she grabs james’s shoulder and he grabs her hand. they don’t let go for the rest of the scene.

~i’m like half convinced that will got the part because of his amazingly expressive eyebrows. i think my sister calls it “back row acting?” his eyebrows can probably be seen from the back row. after the mcgonagall scene is over he sits on the stairs, raising one eyebrow at rose and hermione, then goes back to reading the scroll.

~i didn’t mean for this to become a will carlyon fan account but he deserves it. according to nicholas he’s the biggest potterhead in the cast. he’s a ravenclaw. he can sing. he’s so fucking valid and i’m so glad he’s staying for year 3. he’s got two followers on youtube and one of them is me. please guys like no one talks about him and i’ll fill this niche. same with the lovely sarita. she’s so kind and so beautiful and so talented she can sing so well and she gives everything during wand dance listen i spent the beginning of this thing making fun of my sister for liking joey so much but sarita……..

~cc nyc said straight girl/lesbian solidarity

~anyway…

~nicholas podany as albus. so. Many. Tears. i didn’t realize this before but his whole body trembles when he cries?? i first noticed this when he and harry were in the slytherin common room. i was like “are his pajamas vibrating?? is this an optical illusion (they’re striped pajamas)???” no, his whole body was shaking with suppressed crying. once i noticed i couldn’t un-notice and this continued for the rest of the show.

~bubba weiler’s scorpius didn’t seem much different from usual? i could go on about him but….that’s what my unfinished fic is for……one day……….

~okay so this is where i elaborate on the scorbus moments that made me want to YEET myself off the roof of the theatre (if you had to make sense of my typos on discord: i am Sorry)

~the slytherin dorm scene: scorpius tickles albus to wake him up. he then makes himself comfortable on albus’s bed and won’t stop rubbing and patting his thigh.

~in addition to being austistic, bubba!scorp is bisexual (jon case would be proud) and here is PROOF: to flirt, bubba!scorpius leans against objects, sprawls his body out, plays with his hair, etc all extremely cheesy, greasy, suave moves. he blows a kiss to polly as he’s sprawled across the stairs. when he ROLLS down the stairs (looked painful…) to see rose at the end, he plays with his hair, shoots her a finger gun (further proof he’s bi), and lowers his voice. but the comparison i need to highlight is THIS: when he says rose smells like bread, (1) he leans against the suitcases, trying to look suave, and (2) his face is instant regret. he silently bends back and mouths “WHAT WHY BREAD?? WHAT??? WHY???” and now…when he delivers his “ENGORGIMPRESSED” line to albus, he (1) leans against the sink, (2) grins, lowering his voice, and when the pun doesn’t land, (3) his face immediately falls, instant regret, the literal definition of “oH MY GOD WHAT WHY DID I JUST SAY THAT” the same expression he had when rose wasn’t impressed. coincidence? i think NOT. he’s trying so hard to flirt but he has no idea how to interact w people im --

~delphi in the church: when the adults have all surrounded delphi with their magic in the center of the stage, albus, ginny, and scorpius are huddled together. scorpius is behind albus, clutching his shoulder and hand. albus breaks free for “SHE’S A MURDERER I’VE SEEN HER MURDER” (an underappreciated line imo) and scorpius just watches him, clearly wanting to help but not knowing how

~the final hug. my initial, endorphin-fueled reaction was, verbatim: “THE FUNAL HUG NSCWR SEEN IR LAST SO LLNG NEVER SAW NICJ HUG HIM BACK NOSES ALMOST TOYCHONF.” not even this is enough to convey my reaction to the final hug, but i’ll try my best to transcribe it.

scorpius: runs up the stairs, grabs albus into a hug

albus: stunned for a moment, then wraps his arms around scorpius’s shoulders and hugs him back, burying his face into the crook of scorpius’s neck. this is the first time i’ve seen him hug back, at least so fiercely. they stand there for a good 3-5 seconds, then albus says, quietly, “what’s this? i thought we didn’t hug.”

scorpius, pulling back but still close to albus: “i wasn’t sure whether we should…” *looks up at albus, literal inches from his face* “in this new version of us…” *more gazing into each other’s eyes for a few seconds*

albus: “well…you better ask rose if it’s the right thing to do…” he sounded unsure? not as playful as before?

scorpius: *stares at albus for a few seconds* “a..aaha………..yeah right!”

he turns around and runs down the stairs. albus goes “i’ll see you at dinner!” and scorpius turns around, smiles at him, and walks off, albus grinning and gazing so lovingly as he departs i’m gonna c r y

i can’t think of anything else to say about the show itself? but my sister has given me a lot of material so i’m gonna talk about what went on with her because it’s relevant to our stage door interactions.

as we ate, she described how she would rewrite cc. she has valid and absolutely invalid suggestions. she would keep the father/son issues, make scorbus canon, remove or rewrite rose, and rewrite delphi’s backstory (valid). she would remove the sorting hat and the dark timeline (not valid).

during the intermission between acts 3 and 4, we started looking through the playbill and she started gossiping/venting about how much she hates the people in her school’s theatre (valid, since they’re bullying assholes). i brought up a meme i sent her that i saw on twitter about how no high school theatre guys can sing, act, dance, and not be sexist. somehow this discussion went back to nicholas podany? she was like, “i’ve been listening to his songs and deep blue is a low-key bop.” i asked if she heard his most recent song, telling myself. she hadn’t and she immediately went to soundcloud to listen to it. her reaction was PRICELESS. she absolutely adored it. she was dancing in her seat, going “okay this is actually really good??” like ofc it is? i don’t recommend bad songs? she tried to replay it but then her data ran out and the lyric theatre wifi is shit so she got very upset. then the lights turned off and she reluctantly took out her earbuds.

there was a little girl (around 6-7ish, i’d say) in the very first row dressed as hermione for part one--complete with a doll and a broom. for part two she was wearing a hedwig costume that looked homemade! she was very adorable, and bubba waved hello to her when he came for the curtain call.

stage door:

~sarita came out first! we told her that this was our third time at the show and second time seeing her. i congratulated her on being cast as polly and she was so happy! dare i say…..loml

~tom and antoinette were so happy to have been the first cover romione we saw! tom was like “ah, you saw the best ron (himself)!” we were in front of a man from the uk who had seen the london show five times, and he and tom struck up a conversation about where they were from.

~nadia brown was so happy to see us! she didn’t remember us lmao but she’s so friendly

~edward james hyland (amos/dumbledore) was…politically campaigning?? the people in front of us were from vermont and he was like “ah…vermont…do you support bernie??” just like that. they were caught off guard but i think they gave an affirmative answer, and he was like “and if he doesn’t get the nomination…?” they were still caught off guard and he just went “you’ll vote blue, right…? cause it’s the right thing to do….?” idk i’m firmly liberal but i thought this was a weird place to get political but okay

~EVERYONE was telling nicholas podany about how much they love telling myself. he was telling the people in front of us about how it was mastered/mixed by solange’s producer(?) and my sister and i exchanged :0 looks. she was getting shy, but i was like “tell him! he’ll love to talk about it, i guarantee it!” because even though i produce 0 content, i *am* an artist and i *do* know that we artists love validation

~so he came to us and she started talking about his songs! we’re fortunate that it was a more rock-y song so we’re…able to sound like we know what we’re talking about lmao. growing up our mom would play us classical music (check out beethoven’s wig yo) and our dad would play us the ramones. one of my earliest memories was arguing with my sister (probably around 4 at the time) about the lyrics to “i wanna be sedated” ahh… (she was correct btw)

~(don’t argue with me the ramones may not be poets but they’re valid)

~i was right! he was SO excited to talk to us!! my sister complimented the song and the production. she said “i ADORE your new song!! it’s a high key bop!” and he broke into the BIGGEST smile. she was like “i’m gonna play it until i hate it” and he said something along the lines of “i was in the studio listening to it nonstop for 8(??) hours i can’t stand it.” he was talking about how he made the song with his “own scorpius” but i forgot who…he said scorpius and my mind blanked lmao. he’s brought this person up before in interviews so i can probably find it. she complimented the fact that it was different from his usual stuff and he told us about how he had a rock band in high school. @nick where tf is your rock content pls deliver

~i actually spoke this time and cut in to tell him about how she was trying to listen to it on repeat but the signal gave out. she was trying to tell me to shut up but it’s my legal duty as the older sister to embarrass her.

me: “I told her about your song during the intermission—”

her: “don’t!”

me: “no, nO, i told her and she was listening and then she ran out of data—”

him: “aaAa noo!”

her: “I listened to it!”

~then i told him that we loved seeing how he played albus and that we’re going to miss him, that we were going to see the cast change show but we couldn’t get tickets (i kindly left off the reason why), and he was so sweet about it *clenches heart* he told us how much he loves being able to experience this, that we’ll be so lucky to have james romney take over, etc etc i kinda wasn’t listening bc I was too emo, but I remember going “…but I don’t want to say goodbye…” and he just. gave me a sad look like “I know.” there was so much pity in his expression. why is he leaving us.

~the uk guy behind us was talking about how he’d seen the london year 3 and 4. nicholas was like “oh, joe and dom? yeah i’ve spoken to joe and dom—wait, no, i haven’t met dom? i know he has an impressive social media presence” and they started talking about how different actors bring different things to albus and how the show allows them to explore different aspects to their characters and he just…wasn’t making any of this any easier for me lmao i’m mourning the loss of nick!albus and it’s not even march

~i feel bad that we weren’t able to speak with fiona reid (petunia/umbridge) because nicholas was talking to us.

~jonno roberts. this was the first time i’ve interacted w him at sd. his draco has made such an impact on me, he’s my favorite actor in the show, and what do i say? what great words come out of my mouth? “hi you were great.” my sister KICKED me with her heeled boots. good thing i’m a lesbian because my doc martens protected my feet from the force of her anger.

~james snyder was enraptured in conversation with the people in front of us and just took our playbills to sign as he spoke with them. then he went “hi,” passed over us to talk to the guy behind us. my sister was like “you were great!”

~tbh sd was kinda messy bc we were at the end of the line and the barrier things didn’t allow for the actors to get enough room to interact with the fans at the back. also jonno was standing there and he’s not a small man.

~saw several male actors leaving sd, waving goodbye at us and just walking away. MOOD. i was exhausted and i wasn’t the one running around on stage!

#ccsquad #cursed child #hp #i see cc

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calpalirwin · 4 years

Text

Choices

Summary: Ashton Irwin thought he had everything he needed in life in the form of his daughter. Funny the difference a choice can make.

A/N: This chapter has fuckin’ everything! I love it! I hope you will too.

Content: Ah, shit, here goes the surprise. Sexual situations content. Ash being a softie content. Ash being a dad content. Ash in a cop uniform content. Swearing.

Word Count: 4.8K

And away, and away we go!

Chapter 5

Knowing that Nic knew about Taylor, my mind was free to focus solely on building my relationship with Nic, no longer worried about what would happen if she found out about my past. Still wary, I treasured every moment I held her in my arms and every kiss we shared. I memorized the way her face crinkled near her nose and her head tilted back when she laughed, until it was hard to breath and she had to wipe away tears. My heart raced every time her sweet voice drawled out my name.

We spent most nights tangled up in my sheets, praying the sun wouldn’t come up. For a while, she would beg with her breathtaking eyes and her mouth pouting for me to play my guitar and sing to her. I laughed, saying that I played plenty for her. She argued that singing Disney songs and lullabies for Cassidy didn’t count and begged again for me to play for her. I declined for a solid week, telling her that I wasn’t really that good, while secretly teaching myself one of the songs she liked to sing in my truck. I kept declining her requests until I felt I could play the song comfortably, even if my singing wasn’t necessarily the greatest, then I waited for her to ask.

Sure enough, on a Tuesday evening, she asked me again.

“So, what do you wanna do?” I asked her, as I closed Cassidy’s door after we put her to bed. “I have pretty much every streaming service and regular cable. I’m up for whatever.”

“Well, I’d love to hear you play, but you’ll probably say no again,” she said, making a face.

“You don’t know that,” I told her, making myself busy by straightening up the living room, so she wouldn’t see my smile.

“Will you play? For me? Please, Ash?” she asked. I knew she was pouting and batting her eyes without needing to look at her.

I sighed dramatically, “Okay.”

“Really?!”

I turned to look at her, her eyes wide with excitement. “Yeah,” I smiled at her. “Yeah, I’ll play.” I went to my room to grab my guitar before joining her on the couch. “Alright,” I warned her, “I learned this song cuz I know you like it. So, you’re not allowed to laugh if it’s bad or I mess up. After all, you wanted this.”

She grinned, “Okay, I promise I won’t make fun of you. Now, play!”

I shook my head, laughing to myself about the lengths I was already willing to go through for her. Then, with a deep breath I started playing and singing. Once I strummed out and sang a few lines, I lost myself in the song which was always my favorite part of playing. I tapped my foot along with the beat, grinning like an idiot as I played. I strummed out the last notes, humming along before slowly stopping. “Well?” I asked, feeling self-conscious again.

“Play for me more,” she told me. “You’re good.”

I shrugged, “I’m alright. I’m not gonna quit my day job or anything.”

“You’re still pretty good. What other songs do you know? Besides Disney songs and lullabies?”

I shrugged again. “A lot, but I only play a handful really well. It depends more on how many times I’ve heard the song and played it.”

“So, if I turn on some music, you could probably figure out how to play it.”

I nodded, “Yeah, I could figure it out.”

She smiled mischievously and pulled out her phone. She turned on one of her music apps and country music started blaring through her speaker, loud enough so we could hear, but quiet enough not to wake Cassidy. “Well?” she taunted.

I laughed and listened for a bit before I tried strumming along. While I listened to 80s rock way more than I listened to country, I could pick up the melody faster to country music compared to other genres.

I played along as best I could and we both sang along to the songs that played on her phone until the music stopped; from the heartbreak songs, to the falling in love songs, to the drinking and more rock heavy songs. She danced around in my living room in her sorority t-shirt and shorts that showed off her long legs, both of us lost in the world that went on around us outside my little apartment.

When the music finally stopped, the app asking us if we’re still listening, she collapsed on the couch, breathless and grinning. I gently set my guitar aside as she laid on my lap, her face peering up at mine. “That was fun,” she said once she had caught her breath.

“It was,” I admitted, running my hands through her hair. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“I’m glad I’m here, too,” she answered back.

“No,” I said, clearly my throat, getting serious. “I’m glad I met you. I’m glad Lauren literally shoved me out of the door that night. I’m glad I wandered around the streets aimlessly before ending up at that bar. I’m glad you walked in and sat next to me. I’m even glad that creep hit on you.”

“I’m glad too, Ash. I’m happy you’ve trusted me enough to let me into both yours and Cassidy’s lives. I know that couldn’t have been easy for you.”

“It’s not,” I confessed. “And it’s not because I’m scared of letting people in. Well, I am. But, it’s different. Like if I wasn’t a dad, I’d just be that guy who got dumped by the girl he proposed to. But, I am a dad. And more than that, I’m the dad whose daughter got abandoned by her mother. I have to be very careful about who I let in my life. I mean, I can handle the hurt when things go bad, that’s not the issue. It’s not pleasant, but I can deal. It’s her heart I’m worried about, y’know?”

She nodded. “I know. Well, I don’t, but I see where you’re coming from. The girls think I’m crazy for getting serious with a guy who’s a dad. But I don’t see it that way.”

“And how do you see it?”

“I see it as I’m dating a really sweet guy who happens to be a dad. And a damned good one at that. Cass adores you and you’re absolutely crazy for her. And I’m crazy that you’re crazy for your daughter. Does it suck that we can’t be spontaneous because you need to find a sitter? Or when we are spontaneous, it has to be kid-friendly spontaneous? Admittedly, yes. But so what? I think you being a dad makes you a better partner than someone who isn’t.”

“I know it’s not easy. And I’m sorry that I can’t give you that spontaneity that you could get from different relationships. If I could, I would.”

“Hey,” she said, sitting up and cupping my face in her hands, “Never, and I mean never, apologize to me for being a dad. I love that you’re a dad.”

I stared into her eyes, licking my lips. God, she’s amazing, I thought to myself. How could my life possibly get better than this? Well, I answered, you could always tell her that you love her. I let out a short chuckle and bit my lip. “You,” I said, kissing her. “Are absolu-”

“Daddy?” I heard Cassidy’s voice call out. Then a sharper, more scared, “Daddy!”

I quickly made my way to Cassidy’s room, flinging the door open and rushing to her side. I pulled her out of bed and held her tight against me as we sat on her floor. “Shh,” I soothed as she sobbed in my arms. “I’m here. It’s alright. Daddy’s gotcha.” I rocked her in my arms like I had done when she was much smaller, almost taken aback at how big she was now.

Nic lightly knocked at the door, “Hey,” she said softly. “We okay?”

Cassidy sniffed loudly and looked over at Nic before holding out her arms.

Nic came over and sat down next me, opening her arms so Cassidy could climb into them. “Hey,” Nic soothed, rubbing Cassidy’s back. “It’s alright. You’re okay.”

I watched as Nic held Cassidy and quietly rubbed her back. I smiled and thought about how lucky I was that not only did Nic like Cassidy, but that Cassidy liked Nic enough back to seek her comfort rather than my own.

When Cassidy finally calmed down, we put her back in bed and waited while she fell back asleep. “Sorry,” I mouthed to Nic as we crept out of the room and I gently pulled the door shut.

“It’s okay,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around my neck. “Where were we?” her sweet voice drawled in my ear, causing me to shudder.

I wrapped my arms around her back and held her close. “I think I was about to tell you that I’m falling for you,” I told her, my voice soft.

“Well, if you had, I would’ve said I’m falling for you, too.” Her eyes peered up into mine.

I stared back in her eyes, and bit my lip. My heart pounded in my chest and my pants grew tight. I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist. With one hand holding her up, my other hand cupped her face while I kissed her, softly at first, then stronger and hungrier. I stumbled our way into my room and fell into bed with her still wrapped around me. She pulled my shirt over my head, tossing it aside before reaching down to undo my jeans. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” I breathed heavily between kisses.

“No, I want to,” she breathed back as my hands snaked up her stomach and helped her out of her shirt.

“You sure?” I asked, kissing her newly exposed skin.

“Yes,” she moaned. She gasped as I ran my fingers along her skin, then, “You want to, right?”

I paused my exploration to look down in her eyes, “So bad,” I growled. “It’s been awhile, though,” I admitted, suddenly feeling shy and pulling back.

“I don’t care, Ash,” she said, pulling me towards her. “Just don’t stop,” her voice begged me.

I resumed my exploration of her body as we shed more clothes, our breathing got heavier, the kisses got more desperate, and her moans echoed in my head. Even though I hadn’t had sex with anyone since Taylor, my body still remembered what to do. With every touch her body melted more into mine, her fingernails raking across my back, reassuring me and making me more confident as we rolled around in the sheets, feeling like we couldn’t get enough of each other.

~~~

With sex and the near admission of love thrown into the equation, I was more open to letting Nic into the super ordinary aspects of my life, like grocery shopping. My alarm woke us up at 7 on a Saturday after a particularly late night spent wrapped up in each other. I groaned, rubbing my eyes, as I struggled to shut off the beeping. “You’re making it harder and harder for me to get up in the mornings,” I yawned, kissing her.

“You love it,” she drawled, a sleepy grin on her face. “So, what are we doing today?”

“What’s today? Saturday? Grocery shopping.”

“Ooo, how fun,” she teased.

“Tons,” I laughed. “You can join us, if you want.”

“Okay.”

“Really? You want to go grocery shopping on a Saturday morning?”

“Ash,” she sighed. “When will you learn that I don’t care what we do?”

I thought about it for a second. “Probably never,” I finally told her.

“Well, I’ll just have to keep reminding you,” she smiled, kissing me.

After breakfast, a shower, and a small battle over getting Cassidy dressed, we left the apartment to go shopping.

“Alright,” I said, helping Cassidy down from her seat after she unbuckled herself. “Do you want to ride in the cart or walk?” I asked her.

“I wanna walk.”

“Okay, what are the rules, then?”

“You have rules?” Nic asked.

“For Cass, yes,” I explained before turning my attention back to Cassidy. “And Cass knows what they are, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Cassidy told me.

“And what are they?”

“Hold your hand or onto the cart. Don’t run off. Tell you if I have to go potty,” she told me in a dead monotone.

“That’s my girl,” I said. “Let’s go.”

We had barely stepped into the store before Cassidy started tugging at my hand. “Daddy,” she whined.

“What, love?” I asked.

“Bathroom,” she told me, dancing on her toes.

I groaned inwardly. Public bathrooms had always put me in an awkward position being the dad with the daughter. “Okay,” I said, wheeling the cart towards the bathrooms, preparing myself for the stares that followed a guy who lingered outside the women's restroom because God forbid they put in a family bathroom. “Alright, I’ll be right here if you need me,” I told Cassidy.

“You’re not coming? Auntie Lauren and Nana always come with me,” Cassidy told me.

“I know they do. But I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m a boy,” I explained.

“That’s bullshit,” she said.

Nic quickly clamped her hand over her mouth to hide her giggles. I pinched the bridge of my nose as the stares started- the dad with the swearing preschooler. “I know,” I admitted. “But we don’t say that word.”

“You say it all the time, though.”

“That’s because it’s a grown up word,” I told her.

“That’s b-” Cassidy started.

“Finish that word, and you’ll sit in the cart,” I warned, my voice stern.

She whined, “But, Daddy! That’s not fair!” She crossed her arms, pouting.

I shrugged, “I know. Now, go please.”

“I can’t go by myself!” she screeched at me, on the verge of a full-blown tantrum.

“Cassidy,” I groaned, “I will be right here. It’s this or I take you in the boy’s. Pick.”

She kept her arms crossed and glared at me.

“Ash, I’ll just take her,” Nic said gently. “Do you want to go with me, Cass?”

Cassidy reluctantly uncrossed her arms and nodded, before taking Nic’s hand and going into the bathroom. I used their temporary leave of absence to calm myself. Tantrums were part of having a kid, and while Cassidy was usually well behaved, she had a strong stubborn streak in her. A streak she only reserved for those she was comfortable enough embarrassing in public and pressing her luck with, which mainly meant me. And now that Nic had won her approval, Cassidy would hold nothing back, which meant both unlimited sweetness and unlimited tantrums.

“Ready?” I asked after the small eternity of awkwardly smiling at moms who glared and held their kids closer and the unspoken bond as dads walked up with their own kids and waited with me.

“Ready,” both Cassidy and Nic said.

“Alright, hand please,” I said to Cassidy.

“I’m holding Nic’s,” she told me defiantly.

I breathed deep, picking my battles. “Fine. But you hold her hand, mine, or the cart, understand?”

“I know,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“And consider losing the attitude,” I added as I started wheeling the cart through the store. “Sorry,” I told Nic as we walked. “I would say that she’s normally not like this, but she is.”

Nic laughed, “Ah, she was waiting to get comfortable before unleashing the full force of her Cass-ness?”

“Yeah, sorry,” I said again, running my hand through my hair. We made our way through the aisles with Cassidy trucking along just fine. We were about halfway through when my phone started ringing. I checked the caller ID and felt my heart drop into my stomach. “Hey, Lu,” I answered. “What’s up?”

“Hey, man. Sorry to bother you but the weekenders called out and Mike needs us in right away,” Luke spoke rapidly.

“They did?” I asked, trying to ignore the churning in my stomach.

“Yeah, I know.” I could hear his own exasperation at the change of schedule. Because we had families, Mike had been really nice about having us work a regular work week. But every so often we’d get called to fill in for the weekend or night shift. And it sucked.

“Alright, give me like an hour, yeah?”

“Yeah, man, no worries.”

“Alright, see ya in a bit.” I ended the call and looked at both Cassidy and Nic who were staring at me. “That was work,” I told them, biting my lip, preparing for the waterworks from Cassidy.

“Oh,” Nic said in surprise. “Do you need to go?”

“Yeah. Cass, love, do you want Nana and Grandad to watch you, or Auntie Lauren?”

“You,” she told me, crossing her arms.

I crouched down next to her, “I know, love. I want to stay with you too, but I have to go to work.”

Her lips trembled and her eyes watered up. “No,” she said, shaking her head.

“Cass. C’mon, let’s not have this fight. We’ll finish shopping and wait for Nana or Auntie Lauren, okay?”

“No!” she screamed, starting to cry. “No!” she kept wailing as people turned to stare. “Daddy, no!” she begged, wrapping herself around my legs, scream-crying.

I sighed and pulled out my phone, calling my mom first, not wanting to ruin my sister’s Saturday if I didn’t have to. “Hey, Ma,” I said when she picked up. “Yeah, I got called into work, can you come watch Cass? No, yeah I can wait. Yeah, we’re finishing up shopping. Yeah, thanks Mom.” I ended the call and pried Cassidy from my leg, picking her up. “Hey,” I whispered, wiping the tears from her face.

She struggled and whined, even striking me in the chest with her small hands.

“Hey!” I said, sternly, grabbing her hands. “Do not hit me!”

She let out a long wail and buried her face in my shoulder.

I let her scream as I explained to Nic, “My mom’s on her way. So we have time to finish up the shopping. Or I can come back later, if you want me to take you back. I know this isn’t how you imagined your Saturday.”

“Ash,” she said softly, taking my hand, “it’s fine. I promise.”

“If you say so,” I said. Cassidy, meanwhile had moved from being sad to angry again and began pounding her fists against my shoulder. “Ow!” I said angrily even though it didn’t actually hurt. “I said, ‘do not hit me’,” I scolded as I placed her in the seat of the cart. “If you’re going to be upset and mad, that’s fine. But you do not hit me. Understand?”

She stuck out her tongue and blew raspberries at me. When I kept walking, intent on finishing my shopping, Cassidy absolutely lost it. She screamed and started kicking, one of her feet connecting into my upper thigh.

I sucked in my breath, grateful she hadn’t kicked me an inch more to the right, and now really angry. “Cassidy Marie,” I growled, crouching so I was eye level with her. “Knock. It. Off!”

She stared at me, her eyes going from angry to scared that she had made me mad. Then, she started crying again, her big, wet “I want Daddy” tears; the kind of tears that absolutely broke my heart.

I sighed, feeling bad that I’d lost my temper with her. I turned to Nic, “Do you mind waiting here for a second?”

“Yeah, I can finish shopping if you want me to,” she offered.

I smiled gratefully and pulled the shopping list from my pocket, handing it to her. “Thank you, I’ll meet you at check out. Um, feel free to grab anything you need for yourself, okay?”

“Okay, babe.”

“Thank you, I told her again, kissing her. Then I turned my attention back to Cassidy. “C’mon, love,” I said, picking her up and carrying her off to the store’s little food court. “You’re okay,” I told her, sitting with her in my lap and wiping at her tears. “Are you sad?”

She nodded, hiccuping.

“Because I have to work?”

Another nod.

“I know that makes you sad. But that doesn’t make it okay for you to hit and kick me.”

“Am I in trouble?” she asked me in a scared whisper.

“No. But, I do expect you to apologize and start acting better.”

“Sorry, Daddy.”

“Thank you, love. And I’m sorry for yelling.”

“You’re scary,” she told me.

“I scared you?” I asked, swallowing the terrible feeling rising in my throat. I knew that I had particularly loud with her, but I hadn’t thought I’d gone so far as to scare her.

She nodded her head slowly for a third time.

“Aw, love, I’m sorry,” I said, holding her to me and kissing her. “That better?” I asked.

“More kisses,” she said.

I showered her in kisses until she giggled and pushed my face away. “Better?” I asked again, smiling.

She nodded a fourth nod.

“Now, what can we do so you’re not sad?” I asked her, still wanting to acknowledge her feelings.

She shrugged her shoulders.

“Hmm…” I thought outloud. “Do you want me to read to you when we get home before I go?”

She nodded a fifth time.

“Alright. I’ll read you a story when we get home. Now, are we ready to finish shopping?”

A sixth nod. Kid was on a roll with her head nods.

“Okay. Do you want to walk, or do you want me to hold you?”

“Hold me,” she said.

I smiled warmly at her and stood up, carrying Cassidy on my hip while she clung to my neck. “I love you, you know that?” I asked, kissing her cheek.

She nodded a seventh and final time, this time giving me a smile back.

We made our way back, finding Nic with the cart full of groceries. “Hey, we feeling better?” she asked, smiling at us and reaching for my free hand.

“You sure you still like dating the dad?” I asked, half-joking as I squeezed her hand in mine.

Nic laughed, “It’s fine, babe. I promise.”

“If you say so,” I said, smiling at her as we made our way to the checkout lanes.

Cassidy calmed down on the short drive back to the apartment, even going back to full-blown happy as we carried in the groceries. She even sat quietly watching her cartoons while Nic and I put the groceries away. But I knew she’d lose it again when I changed into my work clothes. “Can you watch her a sec?” I asked Nic, putting the grocery bags away. “I’m gonna get changed, real quick.”

“Of course,” Nic offered, going to sit on the couch and watch the cartoons I’d put on for Cassidy.

In my room, I quickly stripped off my shirt, pulling on a tank top instead. I changed out of my shorts and into my work pants, before grabbing one of my work shirts. I kicked off my flip flops and grabbed some socks and my shoes. I grabbed my badge of my dresser and shoved it in my pocket, along with my wallet, before glancing at myself in the mirror. Then, I reached for a small lockbox that held my gun and my bullet proof vest that was next to it, tucking them both under my arm. Lastly, I took a deep breath and made my way back to the living room.

Cassidy took one look at my clothes and her lip started to quiver again.

“Hey,” I said, picking her up and sitting with her on the couch, hoping I could quickly diminish the tears and shouting. “Nana is coming over to watch you for a bit, okay?”

“Okay,” she sniffed, trying to be brave.

“If you go grab a book, I’ll read to you while we wait for Nana.”

“I don’t want you to go,” she said.

“I know, but it’s my job, love.”

“Why can’t you stay with me?”

“Because I gotta catch the bad guys, remember?”

She nodded, then she turned to Nic. “Daddy’s a superhero,” she told her.

“And does that make you sad?” Nic asked her.

Cassidy shook her head. “Well, sometimes,” she admitted.

“I know, love. And it’s okay to be sad. I’m sad that I have to leave you, too,” I said.

“You are?”

“Of course!” I said like I was letting her in on some big secret. “Daddies get sad too. But you know what makes me feel better?”

“What?”

“Reading you a story before I go. Will that make you feel better, too?”

“Yeah!”

“Alright! Go find a book and we’ll read it, okay?”

She climbed off my lap and ran to her room before running back to me with a book. I set her back on my lap, opened the book, and started reading it to her.

I had no sooner finished reading than my mom opened the door to the apartment. “Nana!” Cassidy cried, climbing out of my lap and running towards my mom.

“Hey, Mom,” I said, getting up. “Thanks again.”

“Not a problem, Ashton. Glad to help. Do you know when you’ll be home?”

“No, sorry. But, I’ll keep you updated. And there are groceries, so help yourself. Dessert after dinner, and only after, please,” I said, reaching for my keys.

“Ash, I know how to watch after children. I have 3 myself, y’know.”

“I know, Mom. Bye Cass, Daddy’s gotta go now.”

She took one look at me, dressed for work with my keys, lockbox, and vest in my hand, and ran into my arms. “No!” she begged, starting to cry again.

“We’ve been over this, love,” I told her softly, picking her up. “I’ll be home later, okay? I love you.”

“Stay…” she begged as I handed her to my mom who tried to soothe her.

“I love you,” I repeated.

She buried her face in my mom and sobbed her heart out.

I sighed and let myself out, Nic coming with me. “I’m really sorry about today,” I told her for what felt like the millionth time.

“Hey, I told you never to-”

“Never apologize for being a dad, I know,” I interrupted. “That’s not why I’m sorry.”

“Does this happen a lot?”

“The swearing, kicking, and screaming tantrums? Me losing my temper in a grocery store? Or getting called into work?” I asked.

“All three?”

“Not often. She has her everyday tantrums, like getting dressed. And then she has her full-blown meltdowns when she’s got too many emotions to process. Which I try really hard to not get mad at her for. But there are times when she resorts to hitting and kicking and that’s when I tend to lose it a little myself. As for work? No, I don’t get asked to come in on my days off a lot. Stay late on days I’m already there? Yeah, plenty. But rarely do I have to go in on my days off. I only have to go now because some people called out.”

“I’m sorry, babe. I know that must be hard on you.” She hugged me, her arms circling around my neck, her fingers tracing along my neck tattoo. Such a soothing touch.

I rested my head briefly on her shoulder, allowing myself a small moment of being the weak one for once. Then I straightened myself up. “I’ll call you when I get home, okay?”

She shook her head and I felt my face fall, feeling like I had blown it by showing my struggling side. “Spend time with Cass. I’ll see you Monday after work,” she told me.

I kissed her. “You are the greatest,” I said, then, “Have I told you that I love you, yet?”

Her eyes went wide for a second before she smiled at me. “No, you haven’t. But, I’m glad you did.”

“Oh, well in that case, Nicole, I love you. And I’ll give you a long list of reasons some other time, but for now, just know that I love you.”

She laughed and kissed me. “I love you too, Ashton. Now go, before you’re late.”

~~~

It was late when I got home later. So late, that even Nic’s apartment was quiet. I let myself in and woke up my mom, who was asleep on the couch. “Ma… Mom,” I said, shaking her. “Go sleep in my room. I’ll take the couch.”

“Oh, Ashton, I’m fine,” she told me grumpily.

“Mom, you’ll be more comfortable in bed, please.”

She grumbled more and went down the hall to my room, my door shutting behind her. I went to the hall cupboard to grab myself a blanket before making myself comfortable on the couch. Before I fell asleep, I took out my phone and sent Nic a quick text.

Thank you for understanding. And I’m sorry about everything.

I put my phone down, not expecting an answer until morning, so I nearly jumped out of my skin when my phone pinged.

It’s okay, babe. Glad you’re home safe. Love you.

I smiled at the text and went to sleep.

~~~

Tag List (Leave a message at the beep)

@goeatsomelife @flameraine @cashtonasff5sos @here-for-the-uproars @cxddlyash @1-irwin-94 @baldcalum @sparkling-chaos @tea4sykes @youngblood199456 @5-seconds-of-obsession

#choices #chapter 5 #ashton irwin #ashton irwin fic #5sos #dad!ash #cop!ash #ash playing guitar #ash being soft/vulnerable #implied smut #told ya this one had everything #galcal irwin

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miasswier · 4 years

Text

miasswier’s ultimate glee ranking: no 3

3: Born This Way

Written by: Brad Falchuk Directed by: Alfonso Gomez-Rejon

Overall Thoughts: This may be the closest Glee ever came to a perfect episode. It’s funny, it’s emotional, it’s well-developed, and it deals with a variety of issues that have been building for the past two seasons. Really, the only reason that it’s ranked number 3 is because of the emotional value of top 2. It really is a wonderful, amazing episode.

What I Like:

Although I don’t like her motivation (I’ll get into that later), I did like that it was Santana, not Finn or Rachel or Will, who ultimately got Kurt to come back to McKinley.

Related to that, all the scenes between Santana and Karofsky are fucking comedy gold.

“I was just seeing what kind of jeans he was wearing” “Like that’s any less gay”

I also love the scene where Kurt and Blaine are hanging out with Santana, Mercedes, and Tina. I really like that Blaine continuous to make an effort to get to know Kurt’s friends and hang out with them. I also love how he feels so strongly about Kurt staying at Dalton as long as it isn’t safe at McKinley. It’s so sweet because it’s so clear he just cares about what’s best for Kurt, even though it’s clear that he would like to stay close to his boyfriend.

I appreciated that the Lauren and Rachel stories sort of intertwined by both of them including Quinn. You can tell how hard this lesson is for Quinn because she couldn’t accept herself the way she was, and while I don’t think that she’s trying to get others to change because she felt she had to, you can tell (especially at the end) that she’s upset that she seems to be the only person who needed to change herself in order to accept herself. Personally, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with trying to change and improve yourself, but I also don’t think it’s right to only do so because you don’t like who you are. I think if you love yourself you want to be your best self, and that doesn’t look the same for everybody. Clearly for Rachel, Quinn, and Lauren, that looks very different. It just so happens that for Rachel and Lauren their best self is who they already were, whereas Quinn felt like her best self couldn’t be achieved without change.

I also really liked how Lauren wanted to be Prom Queen, and how she didn’t allow Quinn to bully her into withdrawing because she was fat-shaming her.

I also like how going negative backfired on Lauren.

The scene where Finn shows Quinn the picture he keeps of her in his wallet. I will talk about it a bit in the negative side, but I really do like the scene and the emotion behind it. I think it’s sweet, and something Quinn really needed in this episode.

The Barbra-vention scene is pretty cute. I love the idea that Puck contacted Kurt about staging an intervention for Rachel because he would know how to do it best.

This may be an unpopular opinion, but I really like that Rachel didn’t just immediately drop her plans to get a nose job when Finn told her she was beautiful. Because honestly, she was totally convinced at this point that this was what was best for her, both for her looks and for her voice (which we all know was an excuse, but Rachel has this uncanny ability to lie to herself so much she genuinely believes what she’s saying), so why would one guys opinion change anything? Everyone else already told her not to do it, and she didn’t listen. I’m just really glad that they didn’t make it into a Finchel thing where Finn’s approval stops Rachel from getting a nose job.

When Figgins asks the Glee club to hear Karofsky out and Sam is like “how about we punch his face off” and Mercedes goes “Yeah”

The whole arc with Emma is SO AMAZING. I could write an entire essay about how much I fucking LOVE Emma in this episode and the journey she goes through. I won’t, though, because this review is already getting long as fuck. I will instead summarize with my favourite quote from her story: “Your illness is not who you were meant to be it. It’s keeping you from being who you were meant to be.”

Karofsky’s development. Even though he’s being blackmailed by Santana, you can tell that he does feel at least some regret over what he did (which builds to the climax we get in “Prom Queen”).

Fuck, I LOVE that last scene with Brittany and Santana. Not only is Santana’s deadpan “I’m Hispanic” absolutely hilarious, but I always get so fucking emotional when Santana is like “I told you that I loved you and you didn’t say you loved me back” (which btw is untrue because Brittany does in fact tell her she loves her in “Sexy”) and Brittany goes “I do love you, clearly you don’t love you as much as I do or you’d put this shirt on and you would dance with me”. Fuck, it gets me every single time.

The ending is amazing too. Rachel and Emma coming out with their shirts, everyone dancing, Kurt, Mercedes, and Tina taking the lead… So good. The perfect ending to the perfect episode.

What I Don’t Like:

Santana’s motivation for doing everything is tricking Brittany into dating her. That’s super not cool. Like, really, really, really not cool.

Also, the fact that she blackmails Karofsky to get it done, and in the process hurts Sam, who she is supposed to be dating. Like, she doesn’t even have the decency to break up with Sam before announcing she’s dating Karofsky in front of the Glee club. Shit move.

The fact that Lauren, who was literally just fat-shamed by Quinn, and who is fat-shamed all the fucking time, decided that the way she was going to beat Quinn was by fat-shaming her. Like I already said, I’m glad it backfired.

While I do really like the scene between Finn and Quinn with the picture, it always leaves me with a bit of a sour taste in my mouth, just because I am fully aware that if Quinn actually looked like that Finn would have never even looked at her.

Similarly, while I like the Barbra-vention scene, it does play into the constant theme of everyone having to drop everything because Rachel feels bad about herself and they need to prove to her that she’s better than anybody else in the entire world, and only then will she realize that they’re right and she shouldn’t do whatever she’s doing or think whatever she’s thinking. Also, they never would have done anything like that for any other member of the Glee club.

I don’t like the scene where Will shoves the unwashed fruit in Emma’s face. It makes me feel really uncomfortable.

Songs:

I Feel Pretty/Unpretty: I don’t know why Rachel and Quinn didn’t sing more duets. Their voices go together so well. And this mash-up is gorgeous. So melancholy, but still beautiful. I love it.

I’ve Gotta Be Me: I actually do like this song. It’s a fun number, and I like how he’s dancing with Mike throughout it.

Somewhere Only We Know: This song is so gorgeous. The performance is sweet. Just, so good.

As If We Never Said Goodbye: I love this song so much. I used to think it was boring, and the performance too long, but now it’s one of my favourite Kurt solos. It’s so emotional, and he sounds so good on it. Everyone’s reaction to him singing it in the choir room makes me so happy, too.

Born This Way: Love, love, love this song. A perfect way to end off an amazing episode.

Final Thoughts: If I was told I could only ever watch five episodes of Glee for the rest of my life, this would be one of them. It’s raw, and emotional, and sweet, and amazing. One of the closest Glee ever came to a perfect episode.

#ultimate glee ranking

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neverheardnothing · 5 years

Text

black friday spoilers under cut!!! i’m serious!!!

aaaaaa im going to lose my SHIT

really im about to spoil the entire show

dont read if you havent seen it

oh my GOD OH MY GOD. PAUL. AND EMMA. THEYRE BACK. THEYRE BAKC.

AND THE FUCKING LA DEE DAH DAH DAY MUSIC IN THE BACKGROUND IS BACK

PAULKINS. GOD. THEYRE ALIVE. AND FINE. IMGOING TO LOSE MY GODDAMN MIND!!!!!!!!!

“i dont like getting by cars anymore” this is fucking hilarious why isnt ANYONE LAUGHING

“okay okay okay OKAY” ahhhh theyre really perfect for each other

“my buddy bill” hey im going to start crying.

:( this is so upsetting im so sad for this family.

DYLAN SOLO TIME. HIS VOICE. FUCK.

“flash, bang, jane” oh my god oh my god i am on the FLOOR. this is HEARTBREAKING.

this song reminds me of inutil from in the heights fuck. im.

“family emergency” OKAY HIS WIFE DIED. DONT BE SO HARD ON HIM.

COREY SOLO COREY SOLO OH YEAH BOI

also they lit a fire on stage

corey’s character is SUCH AN ASSHOLE I LOVE IT HE’S THE PRIME DICKASS. oh my god wait hE’S MR KRABS

MALL SECURITY. ROBERT BEING A COP AGAIN.

ethan is a Look. the plaid around his waist AND the leather jacket oh my GOD.

oh my god the backing music in this moment is from the trailer. god. i love it.

CALIFOR MIA OHM Y OGD

OH MY GOD IT SOUNDS SO GOOD WITH THE FULL ORCHESTRATION

THE CHOREO WITH HANNAH IM CRYING

OH MY GOD THE HAMONIES. ROBERT.

SMOKE CLUB. IM CRYING.

THE INTERLUDE WITH THE LETTER OH MY GOD IT’S SO GOOD.

BROKE! AS! SHIT!

smoke club hannah.

“that better be fucking floss. let’s go i want a cigarette”

“that’s illegal...... or it should be.” LMAO

WHAT DO YOU SAY OHYEAH BOI

IT SOUNDS SO GOOD AS AN ENSEMBLE NUMBER AND ALL THE HARMONIES ARE IN

corey really is mr. krabs he’s even in red

GIVE US UR FUCKING MONEY

GIVE US UR FUCKING CASH

WHATEVER THE HELL JAIME IS MIMING IS SENDING ME

“and im in a hurry” A MAN IN A HURRY

whatever the hell kind of accent is jon putting on i love it

SKDLFASL;DKSS JON “RIGHT IN T HE SUBPEONA”

“three dollars” god that’s me

OH MY GOD THIS A BACKING BIT JEFF PUT ON HIS STORY

yES I AM LIVING SO FUCKING HARD

i think this is my favorite number so far

THE BEAT DROP GOES SO FUCKING HARD

jon and jeff strangling each other

this is SUCH A GOOD NUMBER AND THE CHOREOGRAPHY

JEFF AND JAMES HAVE REALLY OUTDONE THEMSELVES

GOD I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE CAST RECORDING

this is DEFINITELY the best song musically yet

THE MOTIF FROM SHWO ME YOUR HANDS YES OH MY GOD I LOVE IT

THE RECURRING THINGS FROM TGWDLM I AM LIVING FOR IT S O MUCH

hannah is such an archetype character so far i hope she gets like. More Character soon.

the melody for califor mia returns in the backing here ugh i love it

wow i wonder if these guys have fight call for all this shit

the “eeeeee” noise jon made i just laughed so hard

WAIT FUCK THE SAD PIANO CALIFOR MIA IS IN THE BACKGROUND

WTF ETHAN DIES HERE? WHAT THE FUCK. OH SHIT. FUCK!!!! the first death.

“GIVE ME THAT FUCKING DOLL IM IN A HURRY” OH MY GOD MAN IN A HURRY STRIKES BACK

are we down a tom already too?? jesus fuck i presumed all these characters would die but this is quick.

the reverb/echo on joey’s audio is So Spooky i love it

AHHH THE NEWS THEME BEEPS

the creepy carol of the bells backing music i love it

also is that a fucking barack obama impression

james patting the doll as they all argue is such a mood

OH MY GOD

MCNAMARA

OH MY GOD!!!

AMERICA IS GREAT AGAIN THEME IS BACK

I! AM! LIVING! FOR ALL THE TGWDLM MUSIC REPRISES.

PEIP BAYBEEEEEE.

“just me and a few of my peeps” im fucknig losing it

GOD!!!!! THIS UNDERSCORING I CANNOT HANDLE IT.

intermission

THE NOT YOUR SEED MELODY ON AN ELECTRIC GUITAR

GOD IT SLAPS!!!!!

oh my god found the bit of choreography that looks like it was from the prom

also love the james lauren and robert solo dance number

the only starkids minus denise who can dance

the ensemble numbers in this show are so fucking good

also nice that tom survived. though like. probably not for long considering how this show is going.

tom: i killed my family

becky: yeah but remember us in high school?

did becky fucking kill her husband

LOL YEAH SHE DID

jesus christ what an admission

oof dylan and kim’s voices dont blend that well together and i think one of them is slightly flat on the belt harmonies

oh my god theyre going to fuck in this movie theater during the apocalypse christ almighty

oh hELL YEAH america is great again theme is playing again

“fuck that, fuck that, FUCK THAT!” mood

his face at “birth canal” is KILLING ME

im so ready for jon wiggly to show up i HOPE TO GOD ITS A FURSUIT

jaime is SUCH a good actress like legitimately

is wiggly going to be the new satan in this fandom oh god

this is like if everyone actually worshipped the duck in firebringer

“unless i get what i shit” lmaooooo

wow ok i legit wonder if they have fight call for all these lifts and fights that happen in the show

the demented califor mia underscoring right now i am Living

“well, webby is a stupid bitch!” lol i love this, though i dont love that theyre just using vulgar words as the punchline

the underscoring of dylan’s i want song in this conversation holy shit

space tour vibes with the helmet lmaoooo

“i cant be evil im a status quo democrat!” LMAOOOOOO

oh im finally getting that the streamers on the wall are also supposed to be like wiggly’s mouth

THE ELECTRIC GUITAR IS FUCKIN POWERFUL

UGH YES NOT YOUR SEED MELODY LINE FOR A SEC

o shit nuclear war with russia

“two doors not one” OHM Y GOD OK

FUCK MAN!!!!!!!!!

HANNAH!!!!!

the melody of “aliens invading minds” reoccurring is Killing Me i love it so much

“friday is black for me” oof

oh shit so both lex and hannah have some weird fucking interdimensional power???

this entire fucking show is SO fucking wild like i honestly dont know what to make of it

“THEYRE ALL INTO FORTNITE DUDE” LMAOOOOOOOO

it’s because all the adults are sad and jaded under capitalism lol

tom’s face this entire time is hilarious

dylan’s voice is literally heavenly oh my god

“should i move these boxes first?” cinematic parallels to the should i take this chair lol

“the hat falling off her head” lmaoooo

curt laughing

“is it some kind of joooooke???”

the yoga choreography i am LOSING MY SHIT

evil carol of the bells motif again!!

JAMES’ DEATH DROP UGH YES

lex set a fire and she burned down the mall!

oh man the “what if tomorrow comes” melody is playing and im crying

“WEAR A WATCH” OH MY GOD LMAOOO

also jon saying “what am i going to dowithout my iphone” as a former apple store employee is hilarious

the callbacks to tgwdlm were hilarious

god this song is so fucking good

also robert being hot chocolate guy is hilarious

im so ready for nerdy prudes must die

kendall’s voice is so good oh my god

the harmonies im living jesus christ christ i wish they were sustained though there’s some silences between them which is a bit awkward

and this was only the digital ticket im sure they’ll sound MUCH better with the actual editing in picked from several performances and better on the cast recording.

ok tbh i don’t know quite what to make of black friday yet i will have to rewatch a few times to Really Process it but i do know that there were some fucking BOPS in it. it kinda feels like a bit of a mess

angela did very well singing songs that were originally not written on her voice but u can also definitely tell. i really liked her califor mia but not so much when the song required her voice to be very strong.

and hey at least most of them didn’t die this time.

#teresa liveblogs stuff #black friday #black friday spoilers #sk

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trulyinspiringmovies · 4 years

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Hamilton

“Hamilton” is, for the medium that it’s handled in, amazing, engaging, and something I loved getting entangled in.

Hamilton’s rise to prominence is detailed by this dominant Broadway play that is on its way to showing the world how to spend this nation’s holiday. Alexander sets a precedent by meeting the first president and using his intelligence, he spreads his righteous testaments. Aaron Burr is overzealous, wants power, but ends up jealous of this fella’s rise to fame as he, oh so, brashly tells us. While Burr was wanting more, Alexander won the war, Laurens dies and hits the floor, and Alexander meets a whore. This threatens the very life of Alexander and Eliza, but despite the lofty price of coming out a womanizer, he mans up and handles it. He writes the Reynolds Pamphlet and as a result, his wife straight-up abandons him. It’s only when blood was spilled and his only son was killed, that the lonely two rebuild what was lost and unfulfilled. With Burr’s burning bitterness building and shadow he was still in, Burr meets with Alexander and decides to kill him. This is the choice, the one and only decision, that forever marks Aaron Burr as America’s villain.

In the spirit of “Hamilton”, I wanted to write this part of the review as a sort-of semi-rap as well but decided against it because it’s hard and because I feel like I should give my honest opinions without being hindered. So, my love for this show actually goes back almost seven years ago, before the play ever got onto Broadway. I was in my high school history class and my teacher shows us this video of a guy who’s rapping about Alexander Hamilton’s life from the perspective of Aaron Burr. He’s rapping in the White House in front of Barrack and Michelle Obama and I remember being so into it that I had to go home and find the video for myself. I immediately gave the video a like and went on with my life. Then a few years later I found out that it’s a play on Broadway and it’s picking up significant traction. Today, we all know it as a show that is notoriously difficult to see in person. Lin-Manuel Miranda became this generation’s Willy Wonka, except his golden tickets were harder to get because you had to know a guy who knows a guy. It’s great to finally be able to see this because I don’t think I would have ever been able to get a ticket, much less afford it. Enough of my personal ties with Hamilton. What did I think of the show? I thought it was brilliant. The theater nerd side of me (yes, I did theater for a couple of years when I was younger) was intoxicated by all the amazing songs. It’s like if “Dear Evan Hansen” cut out songs like “To Break In A Glove” and only had songs like “Waving Through A Window”, “If I Could Tell Her”, and of course “Sincerely, Me”. It still boggles my mind how there were no bad songs in this entire show. The dance nerd in me (yes, I took ballroom dancing for two years and modern dance for three) loved the choreography for each number, especially for songs like “The World Was Wide Enough” and “Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story”. The opportunity to use the rotating stage in a stylistic, yet impactful way was never missed. The vocals of each cast member were soulful, smooth, and strong. The direction by Thomas Kail only enhanced the experience for me. It was like I was sitting at the best viewing angle for every shot. It also allows for the audience to be able to follow the thoughts and struggles of the characters more intimately. I understand that there’s some controversy about the historical accuracy of “Hamilton”, but changes have to be made when adapting for a story. It also invites people, as a jumping-off point, to start diving deeper into history, so I feel the changes were justified. All in all, this masterwork of history and performance is a stroke of genius that doesn’t come around often. You’ll be singing songs like “You’ll Be Back” and “The Room Where It Happens” until the end of the foreseeable future. It seems like everything Lin-Manuel Miranda touches turns into gold. The music in “Moana” still intrudes on my everyday life. Judging from the looks of it, “In The Heights” looks amazing as well, and it’s been my most anticipated movie of this year. It’s a shame that it’s been delayed. Hopefully, we’ll all be able to see it soon. For now, “Hamilton” is more than enough to keep us entertained until “In The Heights” releases.

★★★★★

Watched on July 12th, 2020

#Hamilton #July #2020 #Ballad #Contemporary R&B #Drama #History #PG-13 #Thomas Kail #Lin Manuel Miranda #July 2020 #5 stars

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fallingforboyswithmicrophones · 5 years

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StarKid Homecoming Review 7-25-19 Show.

WARNING THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR STARKID HOMECOMING. IF YOU WANT THE SHOW TO BE A SURPRISE PLEASE GO BACK NOW, BECAUSE ONCE YOU START READING THERE IS NO GOING BACK.

This review is what I can remember because my mind is jumbled.

Before the show even started I was able to meet the amazing Corey Lubowich who I just said thank you to for everything he does and got a picture with him. (Thank you Corey!) I also got to say hi to Tessa Netting who I’ve followed for years and took a photo with her. She’s the sweetest!

Okay so Act 1: Darren came out and did a intro. Then they started with the most recent musical

TGWDLM: it was amazing! Also in TGWDLM Mariah sang Jamie’s part but we soon would see why because Jamie slayed “it is time to die!!” The screams for that OMG, then Robert did Show Stopping Number and the audience lost their cool. He was so amazing!!

On to Firebringer: I liked seeing the vine (“I don’t really wanna do the work today”) performed live (lol) and it was neat but I honestly know nothing about the show except the work today song and “the duck is Lord” so I was confused a bit. I need to watch Firebringer. They also performed the finale song.

TTO- they sang Gone to Oregon which was great and then they did Naked In A Lake which made me so happy because it is my favorite song from TTO, then they did Speed Run and OMG how they managed to sing and dance just WOW.

Ani- We got to hear Mark, Clark and Nick Gage sing which was awesome!! Meredith was in this one too. I loved Ani and it’s one of my favorites so I was glad it got some love. They performed Ani, With My Own Eyes and Back on Top.

Twisted - they did No One Remembers Achmed including the infamous Tiger F***er and when Robert said that cheers were so loud, then one of my favorite Starkid girls Britney Coleman came out and sang a thousand and one nights with freaking Carlos Valdes!! I screamed so loud because I love the Flash and I was so excited to see him! Then Dylan, Rachel and Jeff sang Happy Ending.

Holy Musical B@tman- Nick Gage sang the title song (Holy Musical Batman) solo which was so nice I liked seeing him get some of the spotlight. They did Rogues Are We which I love and Super Friends with Nick Gage as Robin instead of Nick Lang because I assume Nick L. didn’t want to perform because he is in charge of everything. (LOL)

Starship- Mariah and Alex Paul dueted Status Quo and it was beautiful, then Dylan came out and did Kick It Up a Notch which I cheered so loud about (Sorry other fans for that) and then they did I Wanna Be and Brant came out and I lost my cool again and cheered loudly.

MAMD - MAMD Joey acted very dramatic before beginning the song which was hilarious, Joe W. came out running dropped the mic and sprained his ankle in the process, then AJ sang listen to your heart and my heart soared (I love AJ.) and then Ali Gordon and Alle-Faye came out and sang part of Ready to Go then everyone came out and joined in for the song that is how they ended Act 1.

There was a fifteen or so minute intermission before Act 2. Before Act 2 began Nick Lang came out to introduce the second half of the show. You all I cheered so loud for him, it is not a secret on here that I love Nick Lang. So I was happy to see him (I also saw him talking to Matt before the show and waved at him when he looked my way, but I am not sure he saw me. It was pretty dark.)

Alright you all I don’t remember the exact order they were in but we have reached The Potter Musical part of Homecoming. Are you ready? We are about to Go Back To Hogwarts.

As I said Nick Introduced Act 2 which was everything Harry Potter related and Nick told us thank you for the support and that he loved us. (WE LOVE YOU NICK!!)

GBTH - Darren came out and the cheers were so loud. He began singing the song and everyone was singing along which was magical. Then Joey came out and my ears hurt from how loud everyone cheered they sang their voice and did the floo powder power arm waves then the amazing Bonnie entered and OMG the cheers for her were so loud and went on so long they had a hard time starting again. It made me cry to see how much love Bonnie got. Then Lauren came out and sang Draco’s part I was kinda gutted they didn’t sing the Cho Chang part since Tyler was there to do his part but oh well. After Lauren sang everyone came out on stage and Dylan entered from the back of the theater and WOW he held that note for welcome so long. Amazing!!! Darren said something about never being able to find the swimming pool and Tyler did his infamous “Hufflepuff’s are particularly good finders” which got major cheers and I barely heard Dylan’s reply. The energy just got GBTH was so amazing. Truly magical I got goosebumps!!

After GBTH they sang Harry Freaking Potter which is always amazing & sadly I don’t remember much from this part.

After Harry Freaking Potter I do not remember what order the sang the songs in and I do apologize for that. I do remember what they sang however. I do know the two finale numbers and the end but that’s coming in a few more paragraphs.

Darren came out after one of the songs with his guitar and had us sing with him because he could not remember the words to “Cho Chang” the line “Wanna take you up to Winnipeg that’s in Canada” was so loud and Darren was like “Alright you guys know this song.” After that he sang The Dragon Song which he really hates some of the lines he wrote. All of us in the Audience sang the “la, la, la’s.” Did I mention Darren hates some of this song?

After the Dragon Song Darren took his guitar and went back to stand near the band and Lauren and Joey came out and so begins Granger Danger. Joey and Lauren shook hands before the song began and Lauren during the second “What? What the hell is this?” part when she and Joey are overlapping looked down at her crotch like in the show, I was laughing at that. She kills it with her acting and her voice.

Bonnie came out and sang part of The Coolest Girl before being joined by Meredith and they dueted the rest of the song and it was beautiful. Also two bada** Hermione’s on stage together. LOVE IT.

Darren sang To Have a Home which made me tear up. I relate to that song so much and was just thinking of how much StarKid truly means to me during this song. We all were home together in a theater in L.A. watching people we love do what they love. I get chills from thinking about this part. This was truly the part of the show were I thought to myself HOLY CRAP I AM ACTUALLY HERE. (Apologies to the guy sitting next to me for my crying.)

Brian R. and Joe W. came out and sang Different as Can Be complete with the back to back part. That was awesome and I love Joe and Brian’s voices so I was so excited to see them sing together.

Joe W. came out and sang To Dance Again and everyone clapped and sang along, I loved Joe’s energy during this song because even with a injury he was dancing around the stage and doing the Voldemort jumps etc. He gets major props for that. Also Brian R. and Darren came out during the “On your feet” part and Darren did all the dances Brian sang and at the final chorus he Brian R. and Joe W. did a kickline together. I DIED.

Tyler came out and I lost my voice cheering for him. (and Nick and Jon) I’ve been dying to see Tyler perform since the very beginning and he is one of my favorites and way back when my friend and I briefly ran the Tyler Brunsman Street Team. Tyler of course sang Guys Like Potter with Joe Moses joining in of course. You all I know I am repeating myself but this was magical, I love this song and Tyler and Joe M. so I was in awe.

AJ Holmes turned after one of the songs to the audience to say “enough about this Potter boy their should be w new wizard” or something along that line I can not remember word for word and someone shouted “what is your fantasy” and he did the entire Gildroy becoming a mouse Prince monologue. I loved it so much and was dying of laughter. Especially when he shouted at us “WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?” AJ then sang Wizard of the Year complete with the female backup. I loved hearing AJ sing.

Joey came out and sang Sidekick. When he sang “Am I the hottest?” he got the biggest scream and it was so funny to hear him sing “No I’m not” after that.

Jamie came out and began singing Not Alone with Darren, Joey and Bonnie joining her during the song. This is another song that hits me right in the feels. I truly believe this is a StarKid anthem because I know I’ve felt alone a lot in life and this song has gotten me through so many bad times. StarKid has gotten me through bad times. One of my favorite parts of the show.

Brian R and Robert came out and dueted Everything Ends and were joined by the whole cast. The mood for this song was very somber and this song is just so moving.

The whole cast came out and did Voldemort is Going Down and even had us stomp our feet in time with them during the song so Joe Walker could hear it in the back and be scared.

Sadly this is the last song and it was of course Days of Summer. Just watching everyone dance together and sing along was a joy. Then Darren invited us to all stand on our feet and join in for one more singing of Going Back to Hogwarts with them. I screamed Ravenclaw really loud to make my fellow Ravenclaw’s proud. After that it was time for the bows and everyone clapped and cheered and Brian R. stayed on stage with his fist raised for a long time, so Nick Lang came out and was all “Brian the show is over Voldemort is dead we won.” something along that line. Then Brian goes “dead?” mimes skipping a rock and sinks to his knees. About that time Joe W. came out and they did the whole “Is okay good part” then rang to each other and stood back to back before being joined by the whole cast singing Not Alone again and then we sang GBTH again and the show was over. We all clapped and cheered for a long time and AJ and Clark had to wave us out of the theater.

All in all it was an amazing night and I will never forget it. I am sure I am forgetting some things that happened and I do apologize for that. Thank you StarKid for an amazing ten years, I love and adore each and everyone of you. I can not wait for what is next.

All My Love,

PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG. THIS TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO TYPE UP. IF YOU WANT TO REBLOG PLEASE MESSAGE ME FIRST. THANK YOU.

#Team StarKid #StarKid #StarKid Homecoming #SK10 #PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG #fallingforboyswithmicrophones

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god-save-the-keen · 5 years

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STC: Save the crazy

STC: save the crazy

Book: Save the date

Pairing: no one, it's mc (Lauren) personality from the view of her best friend, Alison.

Summary: Lauren always was a person hard to deal with, but things are scaling a new level of craziness

Warning: If you like STD, don't read it. If you like MC and Justin, don't read it. It's shows mc like a crazy lady that I actually I feel she is. If you want to laugh or just see something bad about STD, this fic is for you. To be honest I hate this mc and I hate this book.

Words: 1299

Note: English it's not my first language, so let me know if there's something wired here.

Alison couldn’t think a time of her life where she wasn’t Lauren's best friend. They went to middle school, high school and even college together. She was always… Eccentric, living in her own world, but Alison love her anyway. When someone asked her in what point everything went wrong with Lauren, she honestly wasn’t sure. It was all abruptly or so slowly that she didn’t notice when her friend started to get lost? Her little cute fantasies that they both shared and enjoyed as child, still were in her head, that funny abrupt reactions when she was happy, nervous or mad, started to be more frequent and violent.

Before started to work in finance, she worked as assistant for a pintor. Alison was happy for her, Lauren started to go to exclusive art events, galleries, museums, met amazing people and places. Alison used to said that she was the Andrea of the Miranda Priestly of the art. One day, after work, they went to a pud to enjoy the Happy hour and decide to order some elaborate fancy cocktails because, why the hell not, right? They were chatting, Lauren complaining about her day, apparently a stressful one, when the bartender brought the drinks. Alison tried hers and love it, her Martini was perfect! James Bond was wrong, stirred was obviously the best way to drink a Martini. Lauren, however, frowned and looked at the bartender in a strange way.

“What it’s this? This is NOT what I ordered!” Her voice a little to much cold for the situation. “I asked for a Cosmopolitan with citrus vodka, this is just regular”

“Miss, I can assure this have citrus vodka, as the classic Cosmopolitan recipe is” he said with a very tense smile. Honestly, who can blame him? Lauren’s face was the same she always did when she hits her little finger.

“This is unavailable!! What kind of bartender are you?!” She was yelling while she started to stand up from the chair.

“Look lady, I can assure this was made with citrus vodka, if you don’t want it, you don’t have to drink it, but I have another costumers waiting for me.” He started to leave to a group of friends at the end of the bar when Lauren started to follow him.

“You know what?! It’s true, I don’t have to drink it!!” And threw her glass at the bartender's head, luckily, the guy was fast and ducked before the glass hited him. Before anyone could reacted, she grabbed her purse and goes angrily to the door.

Alison payed for both cocktails, with a huge tip for the bartender, God knows he deserved it, and went outside looking for Lauren. She found her waiting for a cab in the next corner.

“What the hell was that Lauren?!” Alison was mad. She just wanted have a nice drink and relaxed after a hard day at work.

“Whatever” and she took the cab without even said goodbye. Next morning Lauren texted her like nothing happens.

The few next week’s after that everything seems to be fine, though Lauren still had excessive reactions, none like the one in the bar. Until the party of the painter came, and with that the first fired. Short version: oil painting don’t look good as hats.

After that, she started working in a financial company and eventually met Dale, although Alison didn’t like him she learned to deal with it… He seems to made her happy and every time she tried to talked about him with Lauren, she started screaming or just leave. Their relationship scaled way to fast and, for Allison surprise, Dale proposed Lauren 3 months later. And for her even bigger surprise, she said yes. So the organization of the wedding begin. As the big day approached, Lauren was increasingly changing, one moment she was happy, singing some peppy pop song, and the next moment, crying over the most tiny thing. Alison thought it was the pre wedding jitters… Or at least she hoped it was that. A top of all that, Dale was acting wired and wired, but, like always Lauren didn’t wanted to hear nothing about it.

The day finally come, the happy couple was in the altar and everything seems to be okay... For a second. Before Bitsy stop de wedding and declared her love for Dale. Really? Dale had two woman’s interested in him? Alison thought that was pretty crazy. She was expecting Lauren started to yell or even do a more… er… physical approach. She kept looking at her and just a few words come from her, her friend was so destroyed to do anything? When they talked about this later, she told her that while everything was happening, she was imagining in her head at least 10 ways to hurt Dale and Bitsy… totally normal thing to do… right? After Dale and Bitsy leave the church, Alison rushed to Lauren and hugged her while her friend remind frozen… Again, for a second. Next she knows it’s that Lauren pushed her and started to destroy every single decoration she could find, she yelled to Dale's parents, the 80 and something couple probably still have nightmares about it and storms off. But it was the typical reaction of someone in her position… right? Alison wasn’t so sure at this point.

From that moment, Lauren didn’t care anything anymore, she was focus on her job, which was a good thing, except she let her boss take all the credit. Her extrem reactions continued happing and Allison was scared that what could happen when her frustration peaked.

After eighteen months of dating with Sam, he proposed to Alison and she said yes. A thousand times yes. In her mind it wasn’tno doubt that Lauren have to be her maid of honour and couldn’t wait to tell her. They went to a bar, order some cocktails, that hopefully didn’t went to anyone's head this time, and Alison approached the subject the best she can.

“Sooo, are you gonna be busy the next few months?” she said studying Lauren’s reaction.

“Huh? What do you—“ She saw the ring. “You and Sam…?” her voice was neutral.

“Yeeeessss! And I want you as my maid of honor!”

Lauren looked her for a hole minute before smile and hug her. “Of course I would be your maid of honor! I already have so many ideas! But all surprises for you, my friend!” Alison's smile faltered. After all, it was her wedding and she wanted do things in her own way. Maybe… this wasn’ta goods idea.

Six months later, and thanks to her and Sam's mothers that kept Lauren under control, the wedding day comes and everything was perfect. Alison felt more happy that never, everything was beautiful, Sam looked her like she was the most perfect thing in the world, Lauren dancing with the best man… Lauren dancing with Justin? That wasn’t good. Justin was the most toxic person she ever met. When Sam and she told him about the wedding, he laughed .

“Oh, you are serious” They both stared at him. “This is a bad idea, you know that right” She stand up and left. Either way, he was the best man, he was dancing with Lauren and she couldn’tdo nothing about it. Next day they saw each other in Lauren’s work, where after exposed her boss she started to scream and put garlic bread in his mouth, Justin fired her. Short version: tables should have their legs on ground. Second fire. At the end of the day she started to work as wedding planner for Justin sister. Alison was worried that, this time, Lauren’stake her fantasy world and extreme reactions in a new level. Only God knows how that it will end.

❣️

#play choices #choices stories you play #choices save the date #choices std #std justin #std mc #choices fanfics #choices fanfiction #justin x mc #simon x mc #lindsay x mc

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onestowatch · 4 years

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The Best of 2019 and Beyond | Staff Picks

It’s the end of 2019. The world is on fire. You inhale your mango-flavored juul pod. The most pivotal figure in the world is a 16-year-old Swedish girl. Your Amazon Alexa listens intently in the corner of your bedroom. What I’m trying to say is that it has been an absolutely crazy year and an equally mind-blowing year for music. And what better way to cap the end of a year, an end of a decade than to perform a mandated survey on the entire Ones To Watch staff in the hopes of gathering their thoughts on the music that shaped their 2019, their 2010s, and their predictions for this brave new decade.

Maxamillion Polo

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: An honest toss-up between keshi and Aries. Believe 2020 belongs to them.

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Lizzo, who is finally getting the recognition she’s deserved for years.

Best Music Video of 2019: BTS - “Boy With Luv”

youtube

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: Carly Rae Jepsen, this year and every year.

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: Childish Gambino at The Forum. Felt like church.

Favorite 2019 trend: stan and cancel culture. Live by the sword; die by the sword.

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: Naruto-running through Area 51.

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Conan Gray is going to be absolutely massive come this time next year.

Favorite Song of 2019: Dominic Fike, Kenny Beats - “Phone Numbers”

Favorite Album of 2019: Tyler, the Creator - IGOR

Favorite Artist of 2019: Lil Nas X, if only for his Twitter presence.

wow thanks u guys pic.twitter.com/CetLFOKP41

— nope (@LilNasX)

December 6, 2019

Favorite Song of the Decade: Grimes - “Oblivion.” Honorable mention goes to Mitski’s “Nobody.”

Favorite Album of the Decade: Kanye West - The Life of Pablo

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Childish Gambino, an unmatched creative.

New Year’s Resolution?: Take more pictures, edit more videos, cook more, and discover more artists.

Green Lee

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Arin Ray

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Kenny Beats

Best Music Video of 2019: TOSS UP BETWEEN GINGER ROOT’S “WEATHER” & “B4” BOTH FIRE. HUGE FAN. CAMERON LEW, YOU’RE THE MAN.

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Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: BENEE

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: SLOWTHAI AT THE ECHO WITH DAVID O’ CONNOR. HOW MANY OF YOU CAN SAY THAT YOU’VE MOSHED WITH YOUR BOSS? HUH!?

Favorite 2019 trend: @foosgonewild

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: Game of Thrones’ trash ass ending.

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: BENEE

Favorite Song of 2019: Monsune - “Outta My Mind”

Favorite Album of 2019: MAGGIE ROGERS – HEARD IT IN A PAST LIFE

Favorite Artist of 2019: Channel Tres

Favorite Song of the Decade: Tyler The Creator ft. Frank Ocean - “She”

Favorite Album of the Decade: SHIT. This is hard. Majid Jordan by Majid Jordan or Whack World by Tierra Whack.

Favorite Artist of the Decade: BROCKHAMPTON.

New Year’s Resolution?: To be a better son and take better care of my body. Your health is your wealth.

Jenna Singer

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Huron John

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Johnny Utah

Best Music Video of 2019: Loved ROLE MODEL’s newest lyric video for “that’s just how it goes” – super simple and done very well.

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Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: I don’t typically crush on artists, but seeing Jeremy Zucker perform live was a momementttttt

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: Polo & Pan – they are incredible, such a party

Favorite 2019 trend: Loose jeans lol – may low rise skinny jeans burn in the past forever

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: Diplo playing Stagecoach – still confused, slightly jealous I missed it

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Ahhhhh! This is so hard to tell, the ability to make it big has been redefined with the ability to make music in your room. Really digging Gracie Abrams right now!

Favorite Song of 2019: I have the worst memory, but “Hit the Back” by King Princess is a whole jam and has been on repeat

Favorite Album of 2019: Again, worst memory but LOVING Immunity by Clairo right now

Favorite Artist of 2019: Clairo

Favorite Song of the Decade: i. have. the. worst. memory. I’m going to go with “Stolen Dance” by Milky Chance

Favorite Album of the Decade: Sadnecessary by Milky Chance – a go to

Favorite Artist of the Decade: … Justin Bieber. Not for necessarily for his music, he’s withstood well against a lot of pressures from being such a world famous artist

New Year’s Resolution?: MAKE BIG CAREER MOVES – also carve out more time to relax. You are your best when you’re rested and clear-minded!

David O’ Connor

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Sam Fender. So much more to come from him, can’t wait.

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Clairo, built her own queendom of timely perception.

Best Music Video of 2019: “CRYABY” by Dijon. Visually tackles an emotion that’s hard not to look at.

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Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: Lauren Sanderson. She may not care but I do enough for the both of us.

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: Wednesday, June 19, 2019. Sir SlowThai @The Echo w/ @fuqgreen.

Favorite 2019 trend: Flood-prepped pants

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: Lizzo memeing and melting the internet at every occasion.

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Arlo Parks, Deb Never, Dijon, Arizona Zervas, Audrey Mika, Alaina Castillo, Garçons, Sam Fender.

Favorite Song of 2019: “CHA” by LAUNDRY DAY. I am equally nostalgic and envious to write so honestly about teenage angst.

Favorite Album of 2019: slowthai - Nothing Great about Britain

Favorite Artist of 2019: slowthai

Favorite Song of the Decade: ANHONI - “Drone Bomb Me.” If you know me well, maybe too well, I’ll sing this song happily and loudly.

Favorite Album of the Decade: Intuitively obvious but My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy was the decade’s benchmark

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Kanye. Defending him became my protagonist social calendar.

New Year’s Resolution?: Work with more diehards before I die.

Malcolm Gray

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Sudan Archives

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Channel Tres

Best Music Video of 2019: Solange - “Almeda”

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Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: Green Leef

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: Channel Tres at The Moroccan Lounge

Favorite 2019 trend: Creatives demanding ownership

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: The last season of Game of Thrones being so mid

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Baby Keem

Favorite Song of 2019: Tyler, The Creator - “I Think”

Favorite Album of 2019: Toro y Moi - Outer Peace

Favorite Artist of 2019: Toro y Moi

Favorite Song of the Decade: Darius - “Hot Hands”

Favorite Album of the Decade: Kanye West - Yeezus

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Frank Ocean

New Year’s Resolution?: Listen to more music and make some music

Jimmy Smith

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Can't Swim

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Grayscale and Angel Du$t

Best Music Video of 2019: Blink-182 - “Not Another Christmas Song”

youtube

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: Vans Warped Tour 25 Year Anniversary Festival

Favorite 2019 trend: TikTok, all of it.

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: The Chats

Favorite Song of 2019: Bring Me The Horizon - “Sugar Honey Ice & Tea”

Favorite Album of 2019: Issues - Beautiful Oblivion

Favorite Artist of 2019: Waterparks

Favorite Song of the Decade: Angel Du$t - “Toxic Boombox”

Favorite Album of the Decade: Every Time I Die - Low Teens

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Every Time I Die

New Year’s Resolution?: Meet My Chemical Romance

Alec Wing

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Little Simz

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Billie Eilish

Best Music Video of 2019: FKA twigs - “Cellophane”

youtube

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: UMI

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: James Blake / The Strokes / The Who

Favorite 2019 trend: IGOR Wig

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: Drake Getting Booed off stage at Camp Flog Gnaw

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Aldous Harding

Favorite Song of 2019: YBN Cordae ft. Anderson .Paak - “RNP”

Favorite Album of 2019: JPEGMAFIA - All My Heroes Are Cornballs

Favorite Artist of 2019: James Blake

Favorite Song of the Decade: Frank Ocean – “Self Control”

Favorite Album of the Decade: Kendrick Lamar - To Pimp A Butterfly

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Kendrick Lamar

New Year’s Resolution?: To build something and be proud of it.

Precious Kato

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Monsune

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: BENEE

Best Music Video of 2019: Jungle - "Casio"

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Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: Oscar Jerome

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: The 1975 at The Roxy

Favorite 2019 trend: Wearing your jacket draped over your shoulders. It feels badass!

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: Having not one but two Fyre Festival documentaries.

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: DVNA

Favorite Song of 2019: Friendly Fires - “Offline"

Favorite Album of 2019: Loyle Carner - Not Waving But Drowning

Favorite Artist of 2019: Hablot Brown

Favorite Song of the Decade: HONNE - “Take You High"

Favorite Album of the Decade: Mac Miller - The Divine Feminine

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Tom Misch

New Year’s Resolution?: Learn how to separate hope and naiveté.

Alexa Schoenfeld

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Hamzaa, Jean Dawson.

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Baby Rose, slowthai

Best Music Video of 2019: UMI ft. YEEK – “RUNNIN (EP. 3)”

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Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: FKA Twigs, Pell

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: PVRIS at The El REY

Favorite 2019 trend: Millenial app astrology – have you entered the Co-Star universe?

What cultural moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: No genre boundaries, no gender boundaries

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Remi Wolf, Peach Tree Rascals

Favorite Song of 2019: Jacob Collier ft. Daniel Caesar - “Time Alone With You”

Favorite Album of 2019: The Menzingers - Hello Exile

Favorite Artist of 2019: UMI

Favorite Song of the Decade: The 1975 – “SOMEBODY ELSE”

Favorite Album of the Decade: Childish Gambino – “Awaken, My Love!”

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Kanye West

New Year’s Resolution?: EXHALE DEEPER

Brooke Pohle

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Briston Maroney

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Summer Walker

Best Music Video of 2019: Jadu Heart - “Purity”

youtube

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: I would end it all for A$AP Rocky this year and every year

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: Maggie Rogers at the Greek Theatre

Favorite 2019 trend: Reflective 3M jackets

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: The mess of Area 51

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Patrick Martin

Favorite Song of 2019: Maggie Rogers - “Light On”

Favorite Album of 2019: Billie Eilish - When we all fall asleep where do we go?

Favorite Artist of 2019: Briston Maroney

Favorite Song of the Decade: Rihanna - “Stay”

Favorite Album of the Decade: Lorde - Pure Heroine

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Rainbow Kitten Surprise

New Year’s Resolution?: Put my mental health first!!!

Jess Chung

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Rosemary Fairweather

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: BENEE

Best Music Video of 2019: Crumb - “M.R.”

youtube

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: Pedro Sampaio

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: Dominic Fike

Favorite 2019 trend: fanny packs !

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: the reappearance of Keanu Reeves on social media / memes / movies / games

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Clairo

Favorite Song of 2019: Rex Orange County - “10/10”

Favorite Album of 2019: BROCKHAMPTON - Ginger

Favorite Artist of 2019: BROCKHAMPTON

Favorite Song of the Decade: Dominic Fike - “King of Everything”

Favorite Album of the Decade: Tyler, the Creator - Flower Boy

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Tyler, the Creator

New Year’s Resolution?: Do more hikes !

Jessica Thomas

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Hope Tala

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Rosalia

Best Music Video of 2019: Ashnikko - “Hi It’s Me”

youtube

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: ROSALÍA

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: BANKS at the Palladium

Favorite 2019 trend: Not sure if this counts but this dude is my hero… (editor’s note: totally doesn’t but I’ll accept cause same)

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: Juice WRLD’s tragic passing and the effect it will have on generations of creatives to come.

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Boy in Space (!!!)

Favorite Song of 2019: YBN Cordae ft. Anderson. Paak - “RNP“

Favorite Album of 2019: Matthew Chaim - The Mathematics of Nature

Favorite Artist of 2019: Lolo Zouaï

Favorite Song of the Decade: BANKS - "Gemini Feed"

Favorite Album of the Decade: SZA - Ctrl

Joey Legittino

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: BabyJake

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Aries

Best Music Video of 2019: Supa Bwe ft. Qari - “LOOK”

youtube

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: Kailee Morgue

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: Beck, Cage the Elephant, and Spoon at FivePoint Ampitheatre

Favorite 2019 trend:Cowboy culture hitting the mainstream. Yee Yee!

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: Eating tide pods

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Ant Saunders

Favorite Song of 2019: Augustine - “Guts”

Favorite Album of 2019: Cage the Elephant - “Social Cues”

Favorite Artist of 2019: BabyJake

Favorite Song of the Decade: Mac Miller - “Self Care”

Favorite Album of the Decade: Blink-182 - “Neighborhoods”

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Mac Miller forever

New Year’s Resolution?: To not wait until New Years to make new resolutions for myself.

Chase Nathan

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: EARTHGANG

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: JID

Best Music Video of 2019: DaBaby - “BOP”

youtube

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: Dominic Fike :)

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: slowthai at Flog Gnaw

Favorite 2019 trend: Baggy Pants - no more of that cuffed pant look

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: Being 10th row at Flog Gnaw for Drake

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Bakar, Guapdad 4000, Kent Jamz, Grip, KEY!, Mez

Favorite Song of 2019: Tyler, The Creator - “ARE WE STILL FRIENDS?”

Favorite Album of 2019: Dreamville - Revenge Of The Dreamers III

Favorite Artist of 2019: Tyler, The Creator

Favorite Song of the Decade: Mac Miller ft. Anderson .Paak - “Dang!”

Favorite Album of the Decade: Anderson .Paak - “Malibu”

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Tie between Anderson .Paak and Pusha T

What Is Your New Year’s Resolution?: Be more positive!

George Schaefer

Most Underrated Artist of 2019: Pi'erre Bourne

Best Breakout Artist of 2019: Baby Keem

Best Music Video of 2019: Octavian ft. Skepta & Michael Phantom - “Bet”

youtube

Biggest Artist Crush of 2019: Summer Walker, Jhene Aiko

Best Concert You Attended in 2019: Baby Keem at The Roxy

Favorite 2019 trend: Igor Wig

What moment of 2019 will you not be forgetting anytime soon?: Watching Drake get boo'ed off stage

Who is poised to be the breakout artist(s) of 2020: Jean Dawson

Favorite Song of 2019: Pi'erre Bourne - “Guillotine”

Favorite Album of 2019: Baby Keem - DIE FOR MY BITCH

Favorite Artist of 2019: Toro y Moi

Favorite Song of the Decade: Kanye West ft. Pusha T - “Runaway”

Favorite Album of the Decade: Frank Ocean - Channel Orange

Favorite Artist of the Decade: Frank Ocean

New Year’s Resolution?: Get a job.

#staff picks #slowthai #billie eilish #aries #keshi #benee #clairo #tyler the creator #kanye west #maggie rogers #dominic fike #channel tres #umi #2019

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wandernic · 5 years

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My SPOILERY Be More Chill review

In honor of tonight’s opening, I wanted to put together my impressions of the show, brought to you by five off-Broadway and four Broadway preview viewings. I will divide things up by scene/song to better order my thoughts. Please DO NOT read if you haven’t seen or don’t know the story well already.

(In that case, here’s a mini-review for you: GOOOOO SEE THIS! Okay now do yourself a favor and close this window.)

More Than Survive:

I like the change to Mr. Heere just eating cereal in his underwear, and unable to drive Jeremy to school. This better conveys Jeremy's real frustration with his dad being mentally checked out than the (admittedly funnier) off-Broadway scene, which just made Jeremy seem grossed out by him.

I miss the Chloe-Jake breakup scene a bit, but it didn't really add much to the narrative other than seeing them as a couple for a brief moment. The next mini-scene where Jenna addresses the breakup with Chloe accomplishes what's needed, plus adds to Jenna's narrative as the girl everyone goes to for the dirt and nothing else.

I Love Play Rehearsal:

I would shower Stephanie Hsu with multiple Tonys for this scene alone. Her Christine is equal parts adorable and batshit, and we can easily see why Jeremy finds her so much more fascinating than the conventionally attractive popular girls at school.

Minor gripe: BRING BACK JAKE'S DAB. That shit was hilarious, and in a simple move showed how Jake, while trying to live up to the cool jock everyone knows him to be, has the same amount of dork inside that everyone does.

The Squip Song:

Ugh I get they're trying to clean this up for a staid Broadway audience, but Rich drawing the penis on the wall and brazenly peeing in front of Jeremy are both missed. Not just for the humor, but because without it Rich just seems like his Squip made him merely mean, instead of confident. That confidence would presumably be what Rich was seeking with a Squip, not to become a garden variety bully, so it loses something in the translation when Rich isn't displaying that through his inappropriate jokes.

I do appreciate Rich's bullying of Jeremy being stepped up, because it's important we get a fuller idea of Jeremy's suffering. Off-Broadway, it just came across as "I can't get the girl I dig and a boy at school sometimes says shitty things." Though certainly emotional bullying is awful, its pervasiveness over a long period of time is hard to convey in a few short scenes. Having Rich also physically intimidate Jeremy makes you feel Jeremy's fear in a palpable way, which leads you to sympathize more with him.

Also can we give Gerard Canonico a Tony merely for the "It's from Japan!" scream? I think, yes. Seriously, his performance in this role is so iconic, it's hard to imagine another actor playing Rich.

Two-Player Game:

The perfect scene for conveying the true dynamic of Jeremy and Michael's friendship. That dynamic being, Michael is a much better friend to Jeremy than Jeremy is to Michael. This is one of the challenges for Will Roland in portraying Jeremy: he is not an easily likeable character. Yes, Jeremy is bullied at school, but he also makes everything about him, his needs, his pain, etc. There isn't a moment in which Jeremy checks to see how Michael's doing (lest we forget Michael is also bullied - the backpack prank was pulled on him, too.) So this song works as both a fun bop, and as a display of the unequal nature of this friendship.

Also, on the whole I *love* Chase Brock's choreography. Especially in "Halloween" and the utterly phenomenal "The Pitiful Children." The one exception is when Jeremy and Michael get up from the bed to finish this song; these moves are clunky and not sharp. It's hard to tell if executed more crisply, they would work better for me, or if the actors are intentionally sort of keeping it loose to demonstrate that these dudes are not as cool as their peers.

Be More Chill:

Jeremy's Squip being activated and the ultimate dramatic appearance of that Squip is one of my favorite moments in the show. My God, the evolution of the Squip from last summer has me floored. It was always good, but what Jason Tam is doing with this character now is must-see. This Squip is like an emotionally abusive partner. He coldy points out what he sees as your flaws, then smooth talks you about your amazing potential, and you forget that you were ever hurt or mad to begin with. Rinse, repeat. He also reminds me of the current administration, in that he'll say something totally out of bounds, then quickly walk it back to where he really wanted you, and you're temporarily swayed by the dial-down that he's not so bad after all. Fucking masterful.

If this man isn't nominated, seriously fuck the Tonys.

Do You Wanna Ride?

What I love most about this besides its hilarity is that it shows a bit of quid pro quo in the seemingly one-sided Chloe/Brooke friendship. While Chloe pretty openly treats Brooke poorly on multiple occasions, when Brooke wants an assist in trying to get Jeremy to say yes, Chloe immediately jumps to her cue and joins in. This is actually more than Jeremy ever helps Michael with anything in the entirety of the show, which is pretty fucking sad when you think about it.

Katlyn Carlson and Lauren Marcus have perfect chemistry as the best frenemies we'd love to hate if only we didn't kind of totally love them so damn much.

Be More Chill Part 2:

I liked the staging for this better at Signature. It serviced the choreography much better when they didn't throw a mall fountain mid-stage that forces them to redirect the dance moves in a less visually striking manner. I especially miss the hoveround rolling down center stage with the mall shoppers trailing behind it. We've already been to Payless and the food court; we know it's a mall. The fountain is unnecessary. Also, can we give Troy a better alter-ego when he goes on? The Starbucks get-up just looks like Michael went to work at his mall job and for some unknown reason put a wig on.

Sync Up:

I love the expansion of the supporting roles in the show, something this song supports to great effect. I don't have a lot more to say on this scene since it's new to Broadway, and I don't remember as much as the other scenes. Also I believe before this song is when Jeremy ditches his glasses, and I like the change from first preview in how that was accomplished (though I did laugh at the Spiderman rip-off that first night).

A Guy That I'd Kinda Be Into:

I MISS THE PART WHERE BROOKE NODS HER HEAD ALONG WITH CHLOE WHILE LECTURING CHRISTINE. This is in all caps because that shit was comic gold; why take it out? It also demonstrated how in tune with Chloe's whims and emotions Brooke is, which is to say, too much. If I can't have this back, I'm going to at least need someone to explain why it was taken out.

I believe this scene is where the Squip puzzles over the person Christine is, and I love both that she's entirely confounded him, and that post-song, she ultimately defeats his carefully constructed plotting just by being the unpredictable person she is.

As for the song, this has been unchanged that I can see, and that's because it does exactly what it needs to do well.

Upgrade:

One of the best changed scenes from Signature. It was fine there, but is much more fleshed out now, and gives more insight into many of the characters that is needed and appreciated. I especially appreicated the added dialogue between Jeremy and Brooke, in which we get Brooke's insight into her self-doubt, and how Jeremy's seeming interest moved her.

I did prefer how the Squip insinuated himself more in this scene at the first preview. When he was trying to get Jeremy to get with Brooke, he pretty much physically climbed on him to push him into her on the bleachers. In a future preview, the Squip stood completely away from them onstage, directing Jeremy with hand motions, and I didn't think that worked at. All. Last Sunday, he stood near them and physically pushed Jeremy with just his hand to kiss Brooke; while an improvement, it still wasn't as effective as the first preview for two reasons.

One, the complete disregard for personal space is just much funnier. Two and more importantly, when the Squip was literally pushing Jeremy's body into Brooke's with his own (imaginary) body, it demonstrated an important aspect of the Squip's control of Jeremy. What looks like the Squip being physically seductive is really a demonstration of his seduction of Jeremy's mind. This is significant, because Jeremy ends up doing a lot of things he doesn't particularly want to do, but the Squip seduces him into thinking he does. I found that incredibly effective.

Loser, Geek, Whatever:

My gripe with this otherwise effective scene is the singing of the song itself. Every time it starts to build steam melodically, it's cut off by Jeremy saying/shouting so many of the lyrics. The build-up then has to start again, leaving the song to finish up not as impactful as it could be. This could be a barn-burner Act 1 closer, and instead it's just pretty good. Also I don't know how Will Roland takes that loooooong end note up and down and back again, and still belt as powerfully at the end of it as the start. The show must be using some new can't-even-look-it-up-on-the-internet technology to pump air into his lungs from backstage. This actor has taken on a very difficult character and pitched it just on the line of where it needs to be to work. So impressive.

Halloween:

Love the song. LOVE the choreo (lookin' at you, Chase Brock.) Love LOVE the addition of the Squip front and center. This makes so much sense, because by manipulating Jeremy he's really manipulating all of them, and his inclusion in the midst of the party instead of on its periphery demonstrates this incredibly well.

I don't love the substitution of a pumpkin candle for a gas can. What even was that thought process? That sucks up the drama of that moment almost entirely. What level of foreboding does one accomplish with a pumpkin?

This scene contains my only major problem with the show, and that is Jake's sudden and unexplained loss of interest in Christine. Are we to infer that they slept together once and that's all Jake was after? And that all of his character development in Act 1 was bullshit? In which case what was the point of developing his character at all? This whole thing could be easily fixed by a line or two where Jake realizes he still has feelings for Chloe, but that never happens. I haven't seen the show since last Sunday (when multiple people told me it was locked in), so I hope since that time they've unlocked it to fix the one glaring flaw, either clarifying Jake is a dick, or Jake misunderstood his own feelings. In any event, Britton is absolutely CRUSHING IT with the nuances of Jake, and I can't wait to hear him on the Broadway cast album.

Do You Wanna Hang?:

Katlyn Carlson is a comic genius. All the little touches she throws into this hilariously awful attempt at seduction are amazing. The only part of this I liked better at Signature is when Jeremy asks her if she's jealous, and in this version she's crying while saying "obviously not." (Or at least she was on Sunday). I think this works better if she immediately *stops* crying at that point, playing it like it's the most absurd possible question Jeremy could ask.

Michael in the Bathroom:

Alternate title: George Salazar at the Tonys

Michael is quite simply the beating heart of this show, an odd role for a supporting character. As played by George, he is that quirky, too weird to be popular but too sweet to not love friend that if we were very lucky, we had growing up. Michael is so important because to be frank, Jeremy is kind of a self-involved dick. That would make the show entirely dependent on Will Roland's ability to make us relate to Jeremy through those trials he faces that we've all experienced - and he does an amazing job. But he also gets a Herculean assist from George, who so convincingly relates how steadfast and loyal to Jeremy Michael is, it makes us believe there's something special in Jeremy that warranted this devotion.

A Guy That I'd Kinda Be Into (Reprise):

During the couch scene between Jeremy and Christine, they've cut out Christine's very valid explanation as to why she can't date Jeremy (it involved getting to know herself better first). This is a problem, because it doesn't make sense at the end of the show when she likes him - we never see why she made that leap, so we're meant to assume she likes him for doing the bare minimum of correcting his own mistake. The way it was at Signature, we find out at least that she just isn't in a head space to date someone on the heels of her breakup with Jake, which shows she could be interested in Jeremy once she gets past that.

The Smartphone Hour:

Easily one of my favorite scenes. Tiffany Mann as Jenna is a delight from start to finish, and this is her moment to shine. Her comic sensibility is perfection. Lauren and Katlyn chime in with equally hilarious support.

My only complaint in this number is the slight lyric change to "Jake's house." For pity's sake, we just spent three or four songs at Jake's party; I promise you, we grasp who's house it is. And the change ruins the flow of the song a bit.

The Pants Song:

Okay yes this song is sweetly funny and does exactly what is needed to advance the plot here. But I just want to talk about Jason SweetTooth Williams overall right now. HOW IS HE A REAL PERSON THAT CAN SO EFFORTLESSLY JUMP FROM ROLE TO ROLE WITHIN SECONDS WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT. Mr. Reyes and his delusions of grandeur is my favorite, but Williams brings equal skill to all his roles, including Jeremy's dad. What a talent.

The Pitiful Children/The Play:

This may be my favorite song. Especially with the song, choreography, and performances here, this show is firing simultaneously on all cylinders. I also love that Jeremy and Jenna have an extended conversation that lets us know her a little more. Tiffany Mann gives a heartfelt authenticity to this that is lovely.

I think this is the scene where these critiques go (apologies if not). I wish Jeremy didn't tell his Squip "you were supposed to make Christine like me!" One thing I love about Jeremy is that he is not really into the popular girls, but the most interesting girl. He digs Christine because of all that she is.

When he says this line, he is upset because the Squip didn't make Christine do what he wanted, meaning he now wants her to change to like him. I think this would work better and make Jeremy come across as less of an incel if the line were more like, "you were supposed to make me someone Christine would like!" It was, after all, himself that Jeremy was looking to change - not Christine, who he loves as she is. That is this character's saving grace, and this diminishes it a bit.

That said, I do think there was an overcorrection in trying to make Jeremy more likeable. In the three previews I saw before Sunday, Jeremy tricks Jenna into drinking the Squip-spiked drink. In the last version I saw, he actually tells her what it is, and she immediately drinks it. It's pretty unrealistic that she would do that. Worse, it conflicts with Jeremy's "you were supposed to make Christine like me!" outburst. If we must allow for the fact the Squip has gained so much control of Jeremy he no longer cares that Christine likes him of her own choosing, he's certainly not going to care about respecting Jenna's need to consent to taking the Squip. Given the choice, I would either change Jeremy's line about making Christine like him, or his choice to tell Jenna what's in the drink. Back-to-back, they don't give us a good sense of how much control the Squip has of Jeremy at that point.

After Jeremy and Michael battle everyone and Jeremy makes his final choice, as the result becomes clear, Michael bizarrely explains what is happening on the spot. This makes little sense, especially in light of the fact that at the hospital, he asks Jeremy how he knew what would result from what he did. Um, he didn't know, you literally explained it to him in the middle of the last scene, bro. I would omit Michael's inexplicably instantaneous explanation from the Play scene and let the audience sit with the aftermath a moment, before having it clarified in the hospital scene.

Voices in my Head:

Not a fan of the lyric changes here, which seem to water down the edge of the teens ("she probably thinks that acne is hot") to morph them into Stepford children ("we got your back 'cause we are your squad" - vomit). Otherwise, this scene wraps everything up well and leaves you satisfield with the weird, wild journey you just went on.

What a score (my #1 favorite in all of musical theater history), what a cast, what a show! If there are not multiple Tonys thrown at this masterpiece, any significance the Tonys have is null and void.

In short, GET THERE or you’re missing the show of the year!

#Be More Chill #Joe Iconis #Will Roland #George Salazar #Stephanie Hsu #Gerard Canonico #Jason SweetTooth Williams #Tiffany Mann #Britton Smith #Lauren Marcus #Katlyn Carlson

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