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#IDK what to think of that experience but I don't wanna feel that again
ranminfan · 1 year
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I think I experienced anxiety recently...
You know that feeling when you're getting worried?
I was about to go to bed last night, then I felt anxious and uneasy, even though there was nothing wrong. My heart started beating fast and I couldn't sit still.
I literally felt my chest beating and it was so uncomfortable, almost painful but not really.
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dykeinthedark · 12 days
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venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)
#okay so i got a really masc haircut about a month ago and i know it's just a haircut but holy shit has it changed EVERYTHING for me#like.... i've always leaned masc except 1) before i came out 2) when i was actively in love with someone who i knew liked femmes#and they always described me as a fem. because that's what i showed her. because i wanted to be with her.#but lowkey whenever i'm in a not-impressing-anyone raw-dogging-life-no-crush era i always resort to a very masc style#like masc being my default and i'd only lean fem to impress people whether it's for love or peer pressure in a specific setting#like ''dressing up'' has always been a form of drag to me. like something i HAD to do to fit in or impress my parents (scott favor core)#but ever since this haircut i've realized... i could just BE masc innately like i really don't have to be womanly if i don't want to#which i usually don't. again i have only ever dressed fem for other people. but it's not even being masc that attracts me on its own#it's like. being masc in a distinctly lesbian way. as in whenever i look in the mirror i don't wanna be like a Guy i wanna be a dyke.#like lesbian as a gender identity too sort of thing honestly. okay i've been waffling but basically i sort of want to call myself butch#but i don't know if i like... can?? if i'm allowed to???#everyone always says it's MORE than just wearing boy clothes and not wearing makeup and having short hair (which i already do all those)#i mean i've always id'd as genderqueer because it literally just means gender weird and i experience gender in a queer way#what's probably the most telling is that my friends (all queer) CALL me a butch lesbian#like every time they do i feel really internally validated. it's not just my clothes but my personality too ig is what people tell me#i have a higher pitched voice relatively speaking but apparently the way i talk is quote ''very clockably into women''#which?? gender euphoria asf. my best friend specifically he (gay trans guy) always uses butch to describe me very intuitively#people have also noticed that i ''transitioned'' in all aspects except hormonally. like ppl have commented and noticed my masculinzation#but at the same time i always feel rly haunted by my ex relationships because one wanted me to be more masc#(she's the one who came out as straight and would treat me like a man) which i didn't like and i didn't like playing up being fem either#bc now it feels like she (butch) won't believe me if i called myself butch too bc she remembers me being femme#idk i feel like there's her voice in my head all the time that sees everything i do through her eyes (i'm lowkey still in love)#i feel like even though this comes so naturally to me i must be putting on a performance#even though i've actually read stone butch blues and done research into the history and i truly love and id with the culture like i rly do#that im still just a sad imitation of a butch lesbian and can never really be a part of it because i used to enjoy dressing up sometimes#like it's so stupid but can i still be butch if i wore a dress to prom and i think i looked good in it??#even though i was envious of my friends who wore suits?? that i used to try goth makeup?? that i liked long dresses??#that i enjoyed stacked necklaces and rings on every finger???#and tbh ALL OF THAT CAME FROM A CONCIOUS EFFORT TO FEMINIZE MYSELF IN JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL WHEN I WAS 16#because omfg it was 2 months before junior prom and i was worried that i was too masc and wanted to get comfortable with being fem
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mieczyhale · 9 months
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becoming a fan of something or someone means getting weird secondhand embarrassment that didn't occur before. and anxiety! !SO MUCH!! both SO EASILY. just because i... now care about the thing or the people involved?? really??
because i really love a thing i can't freely enjoy it without some weird vague negativity related to some unknown vague people?? sure. okay. checks out.
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indigodawns · 1 year
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#whew you know when you've been Going for a while and then you get a break and you're still tired but you're also so so jittery#S WHERE IM AT OHHH MY GOD#luxury problem and it's totally fine but i am crawling up the walls my friends#also update time ig!! took my family to the autism group meeting thing on tuesday bc it was a meeting esp for that#and they kept throwing me glances throughout the info part like lol it's you JDFHJDFH it was v interesting#bc throughout it all it's like... here i have info about autism and here i have my 25 years lived experience without thinking i had autism#and since i wasn't diagnosed as a kid i wasn't as ~obvious about it and i find it hard to reconcile examples with myself if they#don't fit 100% (it's . the autism) so anyways it was v helpful!!!#and my mum was like ah yeah i always had moments where i thought so?? but then it didn't fit the cold white boy stereotype bc i#am empathetic and i have humour etc so she never mentioned it to me bc it's a big thing etc and tbf i wasn't ~ready pre-this year#but now it's like... ah yes i was always upset on holidays and they never got why (the change in Everything)... i was picky with food#and with new shoes and i HATED shopping and it overwhelmed me so much (still does)#i would ask my mum what tf i was feeling and why i was crying and i would analyse social interactions#and i'd have obsessions with media and horses etc. was big know-it-all. was so slow with some subjects at school#like yknow when you had to copy letters 80 times? that'd take me ages and i'd get a fail bc i was being so precise#anyways. enough signs methinks dfjhdjh so now im just trying to see where stimming & eyecontact come in?#i never noticed a problem with eyecontact but im trying to let myself not do it and it's kinda nice?? but idk#and stimming idk i used to suck my thumb for a long time but?? i wanna try things but whew internalised ableism etc#so see then im like so ARE YOU ACTUALLY-- but anyways it seems i am#and my mum made me realise that'd. explain why i suddenly developed depression around age 11 and never got out of it again#so lots of Thinking!!! and wanting to shelve things like ok great figured it out NOW WHAT but noooo#also stupid to do this on tumblr and not rly talk about it with irl friends but what do you say like#hello im autistic? yeah it surprised me too. no i can't really explain how it works for me. no that's not how the spectrum works#so here we are yes#<3
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lenofiga · 17 days
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#ahhh I recall this was one of the first event stories I read so i didn't really have a good grasp of their dynamics and relationships#but I def remember wanting to punch fi because of this scene#It rubbed me the wrong way how he's kinda dismissing fa's feelings just because he's younger#and therefore acc to him lacks experience to understand the world like he does as well as fi's feelings#and like well there you go?!! if that's what you think#how is he supposed to know how you feel if you don't tell him he can't read minds can he??#also how fi was like you could have fixed me you know but you decided you were too obsessed and eager to die for your best friend instead#and then I found out they probably only spent 5-10 years at most then and fa was in his late-teens early twenties#do you expect rtl and mimi to be on the same page for example??#but then seeing how much fa cared for bianca and lnox and his other brethren#it probably would've taken him a lifetime to get over alc no fallout or fallout#in that sense I think fi was right to distance himself if he's not comfortable w that BUT like don't expect to be welcomed again w open arm#idk where I stand here even now I think I wanna reread the episodes about them again before deciding i'm just kinda rambling here#but like bro please just communicate properly instead of dropping the news of your imminent demise to your estranged student#first thing after reuniting in centuries#then there's also me questioning whether fa would've understood even if fi tried to express how he felt anwy#either way fa doesn't owe it to fi to reciprocate how he feels and live up to his expectations#my first read of this felt like i'm judging some randos or acquaintances for their tea and drama aita style
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pondscummy · 5 months
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I feel like kind of a bad person for this but a lot of the time I really feel like I would heavily prefer dating a cis man to dating a trans man
#pond.txt#like i feel like such a traitor lmao and obviously t4t is wonderful#I'd never like turn down someone i liked for being a trans guy; my last two meaningful relationships were w trans masc people#i'd very happily do that again but. But......#idk i just. i Like cis guys in a way that feels more charged and more... idk i miss cis men. sure they can't understand my gender#but neither can i lmfao i don't know how much that matters to me these days so long as i felt safe and wanted w my partner#i literally always picture myself w a cis man as my partner and i think i feel safer w one sexually idk#i have a definite preference for dick and i've got a condition that makes my uhhhh hole entrance hypersensitive#in a painful way. and with cis men i can grin and bear some rly painful sex until the nerves get desensitized and it's easier#but with my ex i like Panicked w the strap and broke down crying bc it hurt and i didn't feel safe at all bc they couldn't like#feel what they were doing and respond to my comfort or lack thereof by touch-sense#it's hard to say 'just a little bit at a time' to somewhere wearing a strap unless they're actually watching them enter you#and that's so like. clinical to me in that moment bc *i'm* not turned on enough to see it as like. sexy that they're watching#i'm just thinking about being viewed while in pain and it feels so vulnerable in a Wretched way. not hot and nothing to distract me#meanwhile i've trusted multiple complete and total strangers w the same thing and been able to get through to a point where#i can relax and enjoy sex after they've initially gone in. but i Loved my ex boyfriend and i couldn't bear to even let him try#idk. and i sort of love the relationship cis men have to gender (aside from the more toxic elements)#like i love the ease of knowing they're men. the comparative lack of thought. in a sense that's More like my gender than what most trans#guys i know experience. i've had Very little dysphoria compared to most. i just am like a guy idk. i don't think about it or care to#i just always picture myself w a cis guy:( i wanna cis boyfriend
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sugume · 3 months
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CONJUGAL VISIT w/jujutsu Kiasen
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Description: in which an inmate of a prison or jail is permitted to spend several hours or days in private with a visitors
More: Fem!Reader, explicit content, unprotected sex, some d/s dynamics with Toji, American prison system? (idk if other countries allow this lol?) 
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☾ Ryomen Sukuna 
He's been in solitary for so long that you start to think you'll never see him again. He finally fixes his attitude enough to come in contact with others and eventually gets some visitation rights. Get used to having sex with him here because the guards inform you he isn't leaving for a long time.
 “s’too much Kuna!” You whine into the flat pillow but your boyfriend Sukuna could care less and keeps pounding into you from behind.
“Think I care slut? Been away from this pussy for months now, shut up and take what I give you.” He grits out, pushing deeper into your back with one hand, fisting your hair with the other. He’d be damned if you tell him what to do after all this time away. Do you know how spineless he had to act in order to get this visit, on his ‘best behavior’, desperate to finally be able to sink in some cunt after being surrounded by irrelevant men and guards with their heads up their asses?
“Feels s’good,” you moan when Sukuna hits your special spot. “I’m gonna cum!”
“That fast slut, it hasn't even been ten minutes” He chuckles, leaning down to bite your shoulder.
“Missed you, ‘Kuna, c-cant cum ‘out you.”
“Can’t do shit without me, bet you can’t even function out there without me,” He groans in your hair, you don't understand half of what he’s saying you just nod mindlessly and slam your hips back on his cock.
“Then cum on my cock, whore.”
☾ Gojo Satoru 
He's on a mission that requires him to go to jail. The prison warden is in on it, but that doesn't mean your boyfriend doesn't want to experience the "real deal." He convinces the warden to allow him weekly fuck sessions because he says he can't complete the mission without them.
“i-Im gonna cum ‘Toru!” you whine aloud, to far gone to be embarrassed that your boyfriend is fucking you on scratchy sheets in a bed that probably hasn’t been thoroughly cleaned in years or the fact that multiple other girls have probably been in the same position you’re in with other inmates, on the same bed.
“So tight love, haven't you been using your dildos in my absence?’ he questions as he thrusts into your glistening cunt. Watching as you throw your head back, tears running down your cheeks.
“They’re too small ‘Toru!” You wrap your legs around his hard ass trying to get him as deep as he can.
“Aww, they can't make you cum as hard as I can, can they love?” he pouts against your swollen lips. You shake your head furiously, listening to the sounds your squelching cunt makes when he thrust back in, his balls slapping hard against your ass.
“Think i'll ask if I can get out early on good behavior. I can't leave my girl unsatisfied now.” He chuckles before diving his tongue into your mouth.  
☾ Toji Fushiguro 
Your mans got locked up again! This isn't the first time, nor will it be the last. You don’t know how he convinces the guards to allow you to visit time and time again, but you won't complain. You always miss him when he's gone every few months. The guard just sighs when he sees you’re here for visitation again
“You miss me, little girl?” he grins, sticking thick fingers in your already sopping cunt. “You know I always miss you when you’re gone, daddy.” You gasp, your back hitting the cold concrete wall behind you when Toji curls into your g-spot. 
“So so bad.” you whine, grinding your aching clit on his hard stomach, legs tightening around his slim waist when you find the perfect spot.
“You wanna cum little girl?” he asks while marking up your neck. He needs others to know you’re taken and if he can't be around you at the moment he’ll make it known another way.
“Yes Toji!” You scream.
“Yes what?” He stops his fingers.
“Yes daddy,” you whisper, moving your hips desperate to not lose the orgasm you were chasing. “Please make me come daddy, please!” 
“That's what I thought little girl” He says before continuing his movements and biting down on your heavy bottom lip.
☾ Choso Kamo
Too ashamed that he ended up in prison to allow you to visit him for a while. After much reassurance from you that you don’t look at him differently he finally comes out of his shell and makes friends. Get’s out early on good behavior.
“You think someones watching?” You mumble, looking back at the camera in the corner of the dark lit room.
“F-fuck baby, don’t fuckin’ stop,” Choso whines, gripping your waist, trying to make you bounce on his stiff cock. ‘Who cares if they are, baby? They won’t touch.”
You turn back around and grin down at your boyfriend “mmm, isn't that how you got in here in the first place Choso, beating up a man for touching me?” You start grinding on his cock again.
“Do anything for you, baby.” He moans gripping your waist when your tight walls start squeezing down on him, trying hard not to bust a nut so quickly.
“Yeah,” you moan out, feeling his cock twitch in you. “Now you’re stuck in here for months away from me.” You pout and claw at his chest when Choso starts to bounce you on his cock. God, if only he didn’t beat that man up you’d have this every night.
“Worth it.” He looks up at the camera, imagining the security guard looking down at your ass recoil when he slams you down on his cock
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badcountryofficial · 10 months
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god i'm so nervous for this interview
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diveinyouastro · 8 months
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🌡~My take on scorpio placements ~
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☆ scorpio in the 7th house- usually get cheated on by their partners. Go through Toxic/ narcissistic partners at some point in their lives. 3rd party situations. Partners lying and deceiving you.
☆ scorpio mars- usually center of attention (attention grabber not seeker). Females with this placement tend to attract jealously from their so called friends or just other people in general. Men tends to sexualize them alot, Might have spread rumors about them at some point.
Men with this placement, if underdeveloped, tends to be toxic af. The need to control everyone and everything around them is just awful. Fuck around a lot. Sleeping with different different people.
If developed, good achievers. Very strategic mindset. Usually get what they want in life. Bulletproof mindset. Very good at talking to people but still maintaining boundaries. Loyal.
☆scorpio suns- idk why and how, but when people get to know that someone is a scorpio, they get weirdly attracted to them??? Like staring at them, wanting to know them. Intimidated by them.
☆scorpio sun/moons- have a good sense of humour. They can make anyone laugh. And with this, they tend to attract alot of people who wants to be in a relationship with them.
☆ scorpio venus- won't say a loyal lover HOWEVER when they love love, they are loyal 100%. Underdeveloped can lie about being in love.
☆retrograde scorpio venus- feels unlovable. Extreme trust issues. Highly sensitive. Very very very high on trust. You know how they say scorpios take tests? With this placement? Tests x 100. Don't give 2nd chances. It's very very difficult for them to be vulnerable. People have rejected them alot. Might have been body shamed or criticised for looks. They feel like they don't deserve to be loved.
☆scorpio stellium in the natal chart- highly intuitive. Usually sees things beforehand. POWER. THE DARKNESS. THE EYES!!! Very beautiful people inside out. However they don't trust easily but if they do, for the love of lord, don't break it cuz you'll be coming back again and again to win them over.
☆scorpio moon- been through some serious shit. Been through hell and back with themselves. They understand people very well. However, they don't get the same understanding in return. They can see right through you so don't f with them. Hate mind games.
☆scorpio rising- very very intimidating. Females with this placement tends to attract jealousy in any form. People want to dominate you so bad. People telling them to tone it down. Basically people don't like your mindset, it triggers them cuz they can't have power over you. Hates 2 faced people. And the irony is, they usually deal with 2 faced people.
☆scorpio lilith- highly seductive. Very attractive. Sex appeal. Feelings run deep for them. Had people who wanted them only for sexual pleasures, wanted to touch them in any way. High vibration scorpio lilith is THE HEALER. also I've seen yall had some near death experiences?? Or witnessed someone dying in front of you.
☆ scorpio mercury- moves in silence. Very strategic and careful. Committed to anything they put their mind into. Always ready to be one on one while fighting. Their way of talking is very intense and mysterious which makes people wanna know how do you think like that. When they say something they really mean it. They take their time. Expects the worst. They figure things out so fast so don't even think of gaslighting them.
☆Scorpio in the 10th house- achievers. From a young age they had an insight of what they will become. Hold power in their work environment. If your a student, your classmates want to steal your notes, they feel envious that you make pretty good notes of whatever you're studying cuz yall go in depth and make pretty good observations of the topics. Authority figures.
☆scorpio in the 5th- gets extreme reactions from people. Ofcourse with any other placements, attracts jealousy. (Bruh I don't get it, what's with the scorpios dealing with alot of jealousy???? Like that's tiring) Grabs attention in parties, get togethers or any form of social gatherings. Might have dealt with people wanting to take your partners. Might have overly strict parents or very fucked up family issues.
That's it for now🫶🏻
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livinahey · 7 months
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Random astro obs bcs y not
Warning ⚠️ mentions of abuse and trauma
scorpio luminaries & luminaries aspect to pluto (especially harsh aspect) almost be always know when something/someone is gonna do no good to you. If they warn you ab something then just follow them. Bcs what they say is scarily often end up being true
Also, if from the first meet these natives STRONGLY dislike you even though you didnt do anything then yeah.... Youre the problem lol. No matter if youre everyone crush, everyone sweetheart, or whatever is that. Again, like I said before, they seems to always know when something/someone is not good
These natives can also scared of themselves bcs of this
I think we admire ppl who have our mars sign as their sun sign
Sag sun with water moon women makes the loyal partner 🥺🤧 be it business partner, in friendship, or as a lover. Don't leave them.
When you see mars square pluto native gets bad mood or even angry.... RUN
Bcs they can be so violent at that time and you dont want to see that
Same goes to cap moon 💀
Women with moon square bml (black moon lilith) always have the best glow ups ✨✨🤧 im so proud (and bit jealous lol) of you dear
Mercury in leo degrees (5, 17, 29) being sooooo charming. They be say "hi" only and you already weak(???) lol
Leo venus 🤝 cant go a day without boasting what they love, be it their hobbies, their job, their loved ones, their pet, or even the place where they live lol. So passionate
I'm not surprised if theyre the one that have many posts on their social media account
Ppl with big 6 at 6 degrees (virgo degree) can be seen as villain
Moon conjunct jupiter synastry: when the moon person getting humiliated/disrespect, the jupiter person be defending the moon person. Also, the moon person can have soft spot for the jupiter person
Natal aspects to sun i like are sun conjunct mars and sun-pluto any major aspects. The word "sexy" is literally made for them lol.
TW ABUSE
women with cap or cancer mars plsssss check again the man you choose to date or even marry. Bcs i often see these women end up experience being abused severely by their man in their relationship. Men often being intimidated by these women yet still wanna date them. These women do dating man that seems cool and amazing or even adorable person outside BUT UNFORTUNATELY it turns out that the man are the worst person ever. At worst case, the man's family dislike these women due to jealousy towards them. No matter how bad these women get treated by the man, the man's family will still defend the man and treated these women as if theyre the problem 💔
Also, these women can dealing with fucking crazy men that cannot accept being rejected by them atleast once in their life. Scary af
Gemini moon/mars are naturally funny without even trying ✋😭
Sag/pisces rising 🤝 always have ppl crushing over them and even become worshipping them
Libra rising are so beautiful and it seems unbelievable
Cancer rising and their terrible mood swing 🤕 yet still look like the most calm and unbothered person ever
Mercury-bml aspects culture is having what they say being questioned. And if they have sun-uranus aspects too then.... Good luck trying to understand them 🥴
Mercury-bml aspects is underrated funny placements imo. They be say questionable thing but idk i find it funny tho 😩
Scorpio rising and having traumatic experience/memories when they young that seems keep haunting them even until they become old :(
Also they often get disappointed by their family :( they can give all their family members a mountain of gold, being so kind to them to the point they forgetting their own needs and this scorpio rising still getting unappreciated & bad treatment. PLS APPRECIATE SCORPIO RISING IN UR LIFE !!❤‍🩹🫂 they are one of sincere people that often attracts evil eye that doesnt wanna see them being success
Whats with earth rising and having this disgusted/judging look 🥲
They can look at you normally and you will feel that theyre judging you even if they arent
Sag rising and leo rising 🤝 having beef with eachother
Same goes to taurus sun x gemini sun
Cap sun x virgo sun friendship be the weird yet funny pair
Every leo placement always have virgo placement in their life
They can have love-hate relationship with eachother tho lol.
And the same goes to every cap placement that always have aries placement in their life
You either love the opposite sex that has the same mars sign as you OR going "mehh" of them
Earth rising 🤝 secured financially. Maybe you never catched them worry ab not having money to save their life
Hey thank you for reading this so far!! I do these obs not bcs I wanna gain followers or what but bcs I found these things give me joy hehe ✌🏻 english isnt my first language so apologize for any grammar mistakes. be safe out there!! 🫂✨
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mypoisonedvine · 9 months
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another idea for dr crane but i'm afraid it might be too similar to thoughtless so please just ignore if it is!!: from personal experience, being a patient of his who is seeing him bc of sexual trauma. fear of penetration due to previous sexual assault. and ofc he's all about exposure therapy. and you wanna trust him so so bad bc he wants what's best for you, he's encouraging you ("you deserve to embrace your sexuality, you get past this one barrier and you're free"), but you start to fight back. and he takes personal offense bc he's your doctor, why don't you trust his expertise? but then it starts to feel good~
idk i picture reader trying with a toy in front of him but he gets impatient sees she's struggling with going that extra step further so he takes control either with the toy or himself.
warnings: not actually that dark (I mean, it is cause he's her therapist lol but he's not nonconning her) but still manipulation, slightly medical kink?, praise kink
(oops this turned out pretty long how did that happen? lmao)
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"Did you try what we discussed last week?" he asked, and you pressed your knees together as you looked down and shook your head. "Really? You seemed very positive about it before."
"I was," you admitted. "It seemed really easy-- just sort of training myself, you know. But then I got home and... I guess it was a little overwhelming."
"Hm," he said, and you started to feel guilty for disappointing him. "That's interesting-- it seems like you were more comfortable here than at home. I figured it would be the other way around."
"Yeah, that would make more sense, I guess," you shrugged, "but-- I dunno..."
"Do you want to try again?" he wondered.
"I do," you admitted, "but I'm nervous that I'll start panicking again..."
"Then why don't you try here?"
You tensed up at just the suggestion; "Wouldn't that be... I mean, isn't that...?"
"I'm a medical doctor," he reminded you with a chuckle, "I've seen much worse. This is simply part of your treatment. I want you to get better."
You took a deep breath, nodding. "Okay," you decided. "Okay, I can try it."
"Great," he smiled, uncrossing his legs and resetting his clipboard in his lap. "We agreed before that you'd be more comfortable with your fingers than silicone dilators, is that still--?"
"Yes," you interrupted, "definitely. Feels too... clinical, otherwise."
He nodded, and there was a brief silence.
"So, do I just... start?"
"I'd like you to try," he said gently.
You noticed that his gaze never broke away from you, but you looked down into your lap as you started to slowly spread your legs. "So I just.. reach under my dress?"
"That should be fine," he encouraged. "There's nothing to be afraid of-- this is a safe space."
You nodded in agreement, pulling up your dress enough to reach into your panties. Sighing, you tried not to let nerves get the better of you as you pushed your lips apart with your fingers. But still, the anxiety was bubbling up, and you pressed the tip of your finger to your hole only to feel resistance alongside your distress. "I-- I don't think I can--"
"It's alright," he soothed, "start with the outside first-- stimulate your clitoris."
You choked on a laugh, still too nervous to look at him. "You really are a medical doctor..."
"What, too formal?" he chuckled. "Alright... rub your clit."
That shocked you even more than the clinical language; but it made you pulse inside, too. "O-okay..."
You pressed your fingers against the bud, trying to rub it, but it didn't really feel like anything-- like rubbing your elbow or something. Jonathan corrected you right away: "Not so hard," he said, "start gently."
"Sorry," you breathed, shutting your eyes.
"No-- it's fine," he assured, "I just want to help."
He was right, though; when you lessened the pressure and gently rubbed in circles, it started to feel good-- slowly, but surely. When your next breath came out shaky, you heard him hum with satisfaction.
"Is that better?" he asked.
"Yes," you answered, but you didn't mean for it to be a moan.
"I think you're ready," he informed you-- and something about his voice, it was lower than before, it was different... it was making you wet.
"Ready... for what?" you whispered, daring to open your eyes and see the darkness in his expression as he watched you.
"Ready to fuck yourself with your fingers."
"Oh," you sighed, feeling like you'd been punched in the gut-- in the best possible way. "Okay..."
"Just one to start," he encouraged, "put a finger inside yourself, nice and slow."
You sighed as you pressed the finger up to your hole again, smiling as you realized it was more open-- and wet-- than before. You gently pressed in further, finding some pressure but pushing through it until you were knuckle deep in yourself. You smiled happily; "I did it," you breathed, "oh my god, I-- I never thought I'd--"
"Don't stop," he cooed, "move it back and forth. If you do well enough, you can add a second finger."
You figured he meant it that you would be able to add a second finger, but it almost sounded like a bargain, like a reward. Do what I say and I'll let you add a second, or something. Surely that wasn't what he meant.
"A little faster," he encouraged as you pumped the finger. "That's it, very good."
You whimpered, biting down on your lip to hide your moan. You wanted him to say that again, to tell you that you were doing this correctly.
"Add the second now," he instructed, his own voice suddenly sounding a little hoarse and needy. "Stretch yourself out-- and tell me how it feels."
"It feels good," you panted as you started to add your second finger, whining at the stretch. "Fuck, I-- will they both fit?"
He chuckled a little-- a low, rough sound-- and promised you: "Yes, they'll fit. You can take a lot more than two fingers, with some patience."
You hadn't even imagined being able to do more than this-- for years, you hadn't been able to put anything inside you, and now here you were... fingering yourself in front of your therapist. "How much more?" you wondered, hardly imagining how it could be possible.
There was a long, long pause; you worried he hadn't heard you. Looking at him again, you found him watching with a tight jaw.
"How much more can I take, Dr. Crane?" you asked again.
"You can take anything I give you," he answered tensely.
A shiver ran up your spine; "F-fuck," you whimpered, and your walls pulsed around your fingers.
"You're going to come, aren't you?" he noticed, and you nodded. "Good."
You gasped.
"Very good," he egged you on, seeing the effect it had on you; your head tilted back as you pushed your fingers into yourself faster. "You're doing very well for me-- now I just need to see you come. I just need you to make yourself come."
"Yes, yes," you chanted, hips rocking, moans growing louder. "It feels good-- fuck, Doctor, I--"
"I know," he soothed, "just let it happen. Keep going. Come for me."
It hit you all at once, a heavy and numbing feeling that left you shaking on his couch; he purred out his praises, telling you how good you were doing, and it only made the feeling stronger.
When you exhausted yourself, you stilled; there was a moment of silence, just your panting filling the air, until you found the strength to meet his gaze again. He was smiling at you sweetly, looking oddly similar to how he always did at the end of a session. "That was incredible progress," he said proudly. "You should be very impressed with yourself."
You sighed as you nervously pulled your fingers out of yourself. "I-- do you have a tissue I can wipe these with?" you asked nervously.
"No need," he said, "you should taste it."
"Wh-what?" you choked out, your face even warmer than before.
"Just taste it-- I think you'll like it," he encouraged.
Though you hesitated for a second, you brought your wet fingers to your lips and gently licked off some of the sticky substance left behind.
"What do you think?" he asked.
"It's sort of strange," you admitted.
"It's an acquired taste," he shrugged, making your heart pound as you realized just from the look in his eyes that this was absolutely a taste he'd acquired... then again, there must have been a reason that he knew even better than you how to touch yourself and make you come.
Then, it was impossible not to imagine what he's like when he does this off the clock-- the way he touches and pleasures the women he takes to bed. You imagined him with his fingers inside lace panties, whispering in her ear about how good she was being for him; you imagined him pushing two inside and promising to give her more; you imagined him making her come, over and over, until he's satisfied and brings those soaked fingers to his lips and calling her delicious.
And even though you tried not to picture who that woman would be, you couldn't help but wonder if he'd like a woman like you... if you were the type he'd do that to, if you weren't his patient.
"Thank you," you blurted out. "I never thought I'd be able to... thank you. It's been a long time since I was able to feel that."
He nodded. "Thank you for trusting me," he replied. Glancing at the clock, he sighed a little through a polite smile: "Oh, look at that, we're out of time for today. This has been a really excellent session."
"Yeah," you agreed as you both stood up, "definitely."
"And next week, we can discuss the next steps in your recovery."
You raised your eyebrows when you heard that, already almost halfway out of the office. "Next steps?" you noticed.
"Yes," he agreed, "you made great progress, but there's still so much more for you to learn."
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weebsinstash · 3 months
Note
Hi I’ve been watching Hazbin Hotel and I found your blog which is amazing by the way , and I was wondering what are your thoughts on yandere Alastor ?
Thanks babe! ^^ so i was discussing this with someone recently and, to avoid doing that thing where I have too any concepts on the same post, I'm going to stick with a specific idea I've had of him recently which I will call "canon accurate yandere Alastor"
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imma be honest and say this version would fucking suck depending on your preferences because he
-doesn't love you romantically and doesn't let YOU date
-doesn't wanna fuck you either AND DOESN'T LET YOU FUCK ANYONE ELSE EITHER
-probably does not consider you an equal by any means, like he considers you a good friend and you're charming and lovely and whatever, but he sees you like.... you'd be puking into a trashcan and he's the one holding your hair back, "now see my dear, this is why you shouldn't go out drinking without a proper escort~" like there's a vague layer of condescension and there's a huge massive power balance and experience balance between you two
Like. He's. He's kind of condescendingly cunty to you, he's vaguely looking at you with the energy of "MacKenzie oh my gosh MacKenzie you're so drunk, you're wasted, oh my god let me drive you home, no girl I'm taking your keys, you're too--" like do you get what I mean? He's a traditional gentleman and he comes along and uh, he thinks he sees this raw potential and charm inside of you that he thinks is being wasted by your modern lifestyle which can literally include
- your diet
-your tech use or what you use from day to day
- how you dress
-how you TALK
-how you spend your time
-who you hang out with
Just picture he meets you, you catch his eye, maybe you're at the hotel, and he's entertained by your sarcastic witty replies to his antics that maybe even get a chuckle out of him. You're a spitfire and he likes that!
.... and then the next time he sees you you're like vaping weed from a pen, looking at him with half lidded eyes, playing a game on your phone, too scattered to fully hold a conversation with him, to focus, to be as entertaining to him as before, and he's grinding the teeth in his smile, "oh no, this won't do at all", especially when he sees negative affects such maybe you're watching things he doesn't approve of or you're being harassed idk
I feel like since Alastor canonically drinks and is quite a heavyweight apparently, he wouldn't mind his darling drinking, but he would definitely control how much after a while. If you get too wasted in front of him too many times, he'll completely cut you off. Folks are you aware that getting too drunk can cause an alcohol induced panic attack that can literally take away your ability to move your hands and arms and make your mouth numb. I found this out recently :) whoops. And I feel like Alastor sees that shit and you'd have to EARN HIS TRUST for him to let you drink again and uh, I don't think that's possible
You're kind of like a bestie but you're also like a toy he's playing with and he doesn't like to share. He'll drag you away from doing other things with other people, especially if he doesn't approve of what you're doing and or with whom. He basically views you dating other people as lowering yourself to people who are beneath you and would only want you to give yourself to someone who deserves you, and he doesn't think ANYONE deserves you except him, and he DOESNT LIKE YOU THAT WAY so the man is just like FORCING CELIBACY ON YOU. Like have you ever seen videos of people taking their domesticated lovely groomed pets outdoors and like a stray or even wild animal version of it comes along to. Hump. And the owner is freaking out, "get the fuck AWAY I don't know where you've been" or at least Should? THAT'S Alastor watching 'other people trying to predate upon you' aka YOU trying to get laid or date
You'll be cooking something and he'll come up and try some without asking, "Hah! This is terrible!" and either watch you so he can tell you what he thinks you did wrong once the dish is finished or he takes over and asserts that he wants to show you to do it "the proper way!" and if you're female he potentially inserts a comment about how as a lovely lady you should know your way around a kitchen (in like a positive "I'll show you so you can know for yourself" way but like the underlying misogyny is there lol)
He'll take you out drinking and dancing but don't you dare let him catch you throwing it back or being mildly sexual, or he'll immediately tell you you've had too much to drink and take you home and you two spend the rest of the night like drinking tea listening to the radio, reading books, or watching old timey TV.
Lastly... I can absolutely see Alastor making some kind of deal with his darling for their soul. He CAN do that (and I think technically anyone in Hell can deal with souls, it's apparently part of the becoming an Overlord process). But I can just see him taking his darling's soul in exchange for anything, it might be really small, it might be really important, but he sees it as safeguarding your beautiful lovely little soul from anyone else who might take it. It truly is like THE HIGHEST FORM OF OWNING YOU, CONTROLLING YOU. It's all according to whatever is in the deal, but I'm sure there's other basic caveats you get... like him being able to summon you at will if you agree to it so he's randomly yanking you away from other people or tracking you when he doesn't know when you are.... or restraining you so you stop running away from him and running out on the town to act so... vulgar
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talaok · 5 months
Note
hi!!! request for joel being readers first kiss. He won’t go any further than kissing but they have a LOT of fun kissing
thx
post outbreak jackson pls
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
Warnings: very brief talk of some sexual themes at the end, but the rest is... you guessed it, kissing!
a/n: 1000/10 idea i literally blushed when you sent it. idk about the execution tho
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You were so incredibly embarrassed when you told him, when you finally had to confess that you had no experience, and by that I mean really none, absolutely zero.
But then again what could he have expected?
perhaps he knew right from the moment he set eyes on you, and perhaps... perhaps he liked it.
It oozed from your every pore... your innocence, it was in the way you couldn't meet his gaze, in the way you shivered when his hand grazed against your arm, in the shyness in your voice... it was in everything... it was all of you.
But he nicked at it, piece by piece, brick by brick, he had gotten to know you... maybe a little too much.
He had realized at one point, too late he'd grow to admit, that he liked you, really liked you, in a way he hadn't experienced in ages, in a way that made him feel sixteen all over again.
And yes you were young... much too young for him, and yes you were complete opposites, him, a rough man with enough blood on his hands to make a serial killer's skin crawl, and you, you a pretty little thing who'd lived her whole life in Jackson, safe from the atrocities of the real word... but still, still he he couldn't stop his old heart from beating faster when he was with you.
And that's why one day, one cold, windy day, as snow fell to the ground and you held onto his arm as if it was a life jacket, while he walked you back home, he couldn't do anything but tell the truth.
"Joel" you had said right outside your front door.
"yes sweetheart?" he asked, watching your pretty face fill with dread
"Joel I... I like you"
You'd told him so casually, so simply, that for a moment he wondered if he had imagined it.
But you had misinterpreted his pause all wrong
"I-I'm sorry nevermind, pretend I didn'-"
"no, no I'm sorry" he shook his head, forcing himself out of his trance "You said you like me darlin'?" he asked, taking a step closer to you so he was right there before you, looking down at the gorgeous girl who'd just made all his wishes come true.
"mh-mh" you nodded shily
And at that, he smiled, placing a hand on your reddening cheek, as his thumb gently stroked it
"well then we're in luck" he'd murmured "cause I happen to like you too sweetheart" he promised "a lot"
"r-really?" Your eyes sparked with joy
"of course baby" he breathed, bending down to meet his lips with yours instinctively before your voice stopped him
"wait-" you said
"oh, I'm sorry, I'm going too fast"
"n-no you're not it's just that..."
it was getting harder to meet his gaze again
"if you wanna wait that's ok, sweetie"
"n-no I don't wanna wait, Joel, it's just that-"
"what is it?"
A loud sigh left your mouth before you could respond
"I've never... I've never kissed anybody"
His mouth fell open slightly at the confession, but he recovered quickly, now both his hands holding your pretty face.
"oh" he breathed "that's ok sweetheart, we can wait"
"no I want to kiss you Joel, I really really do... but- but I'm scared I won't be... good at it"
"oh baby" he couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle "You'll be great at it, don't you worry"
Your heart was racing and your breathing hitched as you looked up into his hazel eyes
"do you think- do you think you could... teach me?"
Now Joel Miller didn't deem himself a romantic, but the way you said that... the way you gazed dreamily and both anxiously into his eyes as you spoke those words... he had to stop a moment to thank whoever was up there for having allowed him to meet you.
"of course I can" he said
"yeah?"
"there's nothing I'd like more baby"
And that was it, you were smiling like a kid in a candy store
"s-so what do I do?"
His hands were still on your face, holding you in a way that made your knees weak
"just follow my lead, I'll go slow, don't worry"
You nodded at that, and before you knew it, his lips were on yours and you were- you were giving your first ever kiss.
You got up on your tiptoes and held onto his arms as you closed your eyes and got lost in the feeling- and wow- you had only read in books about it and seen it in a couple of the movies they showed in Jackson, but this... this was just amazing, it felt like you were dreaming, like you had ascended to another universe.
He had kept his promise, he did go slow, but it felt heavenly for him too nonetheless.
He leaned away after what was probably an eternity, to look back at you and confirm this was all real
"so?" he asked, "how was it?"
You couldn't help but giggle as you almost jumped out of your skin from the happiness.
"good" you grinned "very very good"
"mmmhh" he hummed, moving one of his hands to your waist to bring you closer to him "'s that right"
"yeah" you breathed so lowly he wouldn't have heard it if he hadn't been an inch away from your face
"well I'm glad" he smirked, kissing you on the cheek this time "Hopefully we'll do that again then"
"yes please" 
He chuckled at that, not leaning away
"would you like a goodnight kiss?"
Not a split second passed that you had already answered
"yes" you nodded, leaning up already "yes please"
And that was how it all started.
That was the night you found your true calling... kissing, and not only that, but kissing Joel Miller.
God, there was nothing better than it,
feeling his beard stroke your cheek, the way his strong hands held you as he did, the way he tasted, the way his warmth spread all over your body, it was all just... perfect
And the coolest thing was that when he said he was gonna teach you, he meant it.
Who knew there were so many ways you could kiss someone?
There were the French kisses, the kisses on the neck, the "special kisses" aka hickeys you loved giving him and that he loved pretending not to like, then the kisses standing up, laying down, and your personal favorite: kissing him while sitting on his lap, and then of course as time went on you both found out (although him especially) how much fun it was to kiss in public, at the bar, on patrol, you name it, it didn't matter, what mattered was that his lips were on yours and his arms were around you (and even if he would have never admitted it, he loved it because he loved showing everyone you were his, and he was yours).
If it were up to you, you'd spend your whole life like that, diving your fingers into his hair as his hands explored every inch of your body, your face, your hips, your ass, your belly (above clothes of course), making you shiver and whimper with every movement.
But it was only just kissing, Joel made a promise to himself he was gonna wait, and it's not that he didn't want to go further, god only knew how many times his dick got hard just by giving you a chaste kiss on the lips as he felt your body pressed against his (and yes that did make him feel like a hormonal teenager again, but then again, everything about you did), so no it definitely wasn't that, and he didn't know if it was because he felt guilty or in some way, like he would be doing something wrong, but for now, all he knew was that he needed to wait, wait until he was sure you were sure about him, and about you.
And for now... for now, you were more than happy with it, counting down the seconds until you'd get a taste of him again.
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elllisaaa · 7 days
Note
Hiiiiiiiiiii!! I love your work, and I get so excited whenever i see one of your posts pop up 💗💗
Idk if you'll be able to do anything with this, but this was just a random thought I had after a very real experience at the gym but
What about reader getting intimidated by a member bc of their muscles/height? Like maybe they're friends or in a relationship, and it's just like a cute sweet little moment (i can see this with anyone in svt tbh, but obv gym line would be best)
It's okay if you don't wanna do this! I just thought I'd throw it out there lol
Anyways, I hope you have a great day/night!!!!! 💖
you're so cute anonie !! thank you so much for reading my works, and i'm so glad to bring you joy with my silly posts ! but i totally get what you're saying, whenever i go to the gym without my friends, i'm so intimidated by the big guys so i get you ! plus i looove it whenever someone comes in my inbox to let out some random thoughts like that, keep doing that please !!
and to this screams MINGYU, who is so tall and big, but sometimes forgets how impressive it can be for other people. he sees you struggling to reach the bar of one of the machines because you're too short, and he runs to you to help you pull it down. you shyly thank him, and he goes back to his workout, but he cannot help stealing glances at you whenever you're at the gym at the same time as him. and sometimes, he catches you also looking at him but you always turn your eyes away and he doesn't understand why.
but mingyu doesn't want to annoy you during your workout, so he doesn't say anything. except that one day he sees you preparing to squat and he comes by quickly and asks you if you need someone to spot you. he's so cute with his cheeks all red that you cannot say no.
from this moment on, the two of you keep talking and you become his gym crush immediately. he already thought that you were insanely pretty, but now he's also aware that you're the sweetest human on earth and he's smitten by you. some weeks after you grew closer and started to workout together, he will start to wonder why you didn't approach him sooner.
"do i look like a bad guy ?" you giggled at his little joke, shaking your head. "not, that's not it. but you're… well, you're quite impressive." mingyu seemed so surprised you couldn't help but laugh again at how dumbfounded he was. "impressive ? me ?" - "don't play dumb gyu, you're so tall and big, it's a little intimidating at first."
mingyu tries to process the information for a moment, as he didn't think he could've impressed you just because of his size. but for some reasons, it fuels his ego and it feels good to know that he must also look dependable because he wants you to ask for his help everytime you need it.
"do you still find me impressive ?" he questioned, honestly curious about your answer, but he also had other thoughts in mind. "physically ? yes, don't think i didn't count how much you can bench press. but i also know that you're very sweet, and cute, and you take good care of me, so how could i be intimidated ?"
a soft smile takes over mingyu's face as he leans in, getting closer to you until your lips are only inches away. "does this intimidate you ?" - "no… not at all." this time, you take it upon yourself to make a move and kiss him softly. you can feel his lips stretching in a big, gummy smile against yours. and you can't help the giggle you let out when he looks you in the eyes, his forehead resting against yours, his eyes letting you know everything you needed to.
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peachhcs · 15 days
Text
the perfect moment
hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)
someone requested will and samy's first time, so after trying to write it for nearly a month, it's finished! again, please read at your own risk, this is very explicit!!
3.6k words
warnings: 18+, smut with a tiny bit of plot, but like all of this is smut again. p in v (protected!), slight handjob, hair pulling, sucking on boobs, a bit of praising, very consensual, making out, hickeys, grinding, i think that's it??
this is how i pictured samy and will's first time going! because will's whole life was hockey, he never really had time for a lot of experimenting. there's small talk of religion in this (idk if will was/is actually catholic but somewhere i thought he was. take it all with a grain of salt, this is just how i thought it would go/how will and samy would be :))
au masterlist
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one of the last days before summer ended and will couldn't stop thinking about one thing.
will's eyes glued themselves to samy's lips and the way she applied chapstick making her pink lips even more pink and glossier. he couldn't look away even if he wanted to because all he could think about was kissing that chapstick right off and the feeling of her plump lips against his own.
something had the blonde's brain wired up the past couple of days.
he couldn't stop staring. everything samy did, will's eyes were on her. drinking water? staring. playing volleyball? staring. jumping into the lake? oh, will was definitely staring.
he just couldn't tear his eyes away no matter how hard he tried. something was making the blonde's brain go haywire. he'd get worked up over the littlest thing like seeing the brunette in one of his boston college t-shirts and just her swimsuit. one second he'd look and the next he'd be painfully hard.
will felt like a fucking fifteen-year-old again going through the stages of puberty and getting hard at almost everything. he felt pathetic, really—stepping away to relieve the ache in his cock because him and samy have only been dating for two and a half months and the farthest they've gone was making out with shirts off.
he didn't know what too soon was and he did not want to make her uncomfortable with his weird boyish desires that had been creeping up a lot more lately.
so will suffered in silence and it was fine for a few days until him and samy caught themselves in a heated make out session while everyone was outside.
the boy nipped harshly at her lips, tugging her hips impossibly closer against his own. samy giggled—music to will's ears. her own fingers danced around in his hair, twisting it and tugging at the roots leaving the hockey player to see stars.
she shifted against him and will's boner pressed against her thigh. whether she noticed it or not, she didn't say anything. usually, neither of them would mention it when they started making out and they'd ignore it, but this time was different.
"are you always this hard?" samy breathed against will's mouth, pulling apart slightly.
"w-what?" the boy stuttered out earning a smile from the brunette.
"you're really hard," the girl commented making will blush embarrassingly hard—like whole face a tomato in seconds. he immediately shifted away from her, feeling embarrassed about how turned on he was from just kissing for five minutes.
"s-sorry?" he didn't really know what to say, but samy raised her eyebrow.
her boyfriend—a 6'0, forward, hockey player—was sorry that he was hard? she's known will her entire life for having such a hard outer shell—seeing him stand before her bright red and nervous seemed like such a different person than she's known, but samy didn't think it was a bad thing.
"why are you apologizing?" the girl laughed, pressing her hands against his torso.
"i-i don't know. i-i don't wanna make you uncomfortable?" will struggled finding the right words. he had a hard time reading samy's face which was rare considering how close they were.
"do you think i'm uncomfortable?" the girl wondered. will stared at her for a moment before slowly shaking his head.
"no.."
"you're right, i'm not. i think it's hot that you're hard. i mean, i'd be worried if you weren't," she laughed, easing some of the tension in the boy's shoulders.
the girl placed a finger on his chest, slowly dragging it down. she wanted to try something, watching the way a shaky breath escaped will's lips as he struggled to keep his eyes open under her touch.
the once stable boy seemed to crumble in her hands and boy, did that do something to samy's head and ego.
she carefully pushed the blonde back onto her bed where he stared up at her with a look in his eyes that was a mix of confusion and intrigue. a gentle smile spread across samy's lips knowing she wanted will to feel as comfortable as possible because at the end of the day, he was her best friend and the two have known each other since they were babies. this side of their relationship was still so fresh and new.
will's hands found their place on her hips as samy straddled his lap. this wasn't anything new. she was usually on his lap when their kiss became more heated, but right now, the feeling of her thighs pressed against both sides of will's legs did something to him. his hands shook while his heartbeat grew more rapid with each kiss they shared.
"you okay?" samy wondered between kisses. she could feel his rapid heartbeat from where her hands held their place at his neck.
"mhm, yeah," will managed between heavy breaths.
with that, samy continued kissing her boyfriend's lips while her fingers felt his silver chain beneath his shirt. she curled the metal around her one finger, slowly edging it out from under the shirt. the blonde was very aware of her hands on him, her touch like fire on his skin. the metal now dangled above his clothes along with the small cross pendent hanging off the end.
samy's hands dipped further down, attaching to will's neck and dragging back down his torso. a noise sounded from the back of will's throat that was a mix between a moan and whimper as samy's hand got dangerously close to where the boy wanted her touch the most. he's actually thought about this moment for weeks, always imaging it and hoping it'd become a reality.
finally, her hand palmed his bulge through his shorts. will's brain short-circuited, a loud "fuck" escaping his lips and then a "wait. wait."
samy immediately pulled her hand away, eyes jumping back up to her boyfriend's, "what?"
will's mouth worked faster than his brain, cursing to himself for making her stop before he could even think about it. his face flushed while samy searched his gaze worried she did something wrong or moved too fast. what she didn't know was that will wanted her to keep going. he just...how did he tell her this without her most definitely laughing at him?
"i-i've never..i've never done this..before.." the hockey player managed to get out.
a silence fell betweem them as samy took in his words and will quickly started internally panicking.
"oh."
that definitely wasn't the response will expected nor the statement samy expected from her boyfriend.
"oh? good oh? bad oh?" the boy searched her eyes, growing conscious of his revelation. maybe he shouldn't have told her.
"no, no, no. not a bad oh. just..surprising?" samy gently laughed, pulling her fingers through will's hair again. his eyes softened out, turning into puppy-dog eyes.
she did not think will was a virgin. the youngest hughes for sure thought will messed around in his dev years considering all of the girls that were always at the games and the ones his friends constantly talked about. he was a catch, so this news was very surprising to samy.
"oh," will muttered, unsure of how to feel, maybe embarrassed? ashamed?
hockey had always been will's number one. since he could walk, the only thing taking up space in his brain was hockey. hockey, hockey, hockey. girls was never something on the blonde's mind. not nearly as much as the sport he loved. wanting to be the best and prove how good he could be, will devoted all of his time to the ice which meant limiting his social interactions. it had always been that way and for awhile, will didn't mind. he went to an all boys school before moving to michigan, so it wasn't even a problem.
the status of his virginity or experience never mattered with who he was with because the guys were as locked in as he was—maybe not ryan when he started dating julianne, but their minds never wandered off too far. all of that changed when things in will's mind started shifting some years ago, when samy started taking up the spot hockey once did. soon, all his mind could think about was the girl he always saw as an annoying sister.
"hey, hey, don't feel embarrassed. it's normal," samy read the look on her boyfriend's face, quickly making him look at her. will just flushed even more under her stare.
virginity was a concept will heard a lot about growing up catholic. going to a catholic high school taught him a lot about "waiting until marriage" which wasn't something the boy entirely agreed with. his views definitely changed as he got older and thought less and less about his religion. obviously, not completely, though. the silver pendent dangling off his neck was a small reminder keeping him tied in, but that didn't mean he wanted him and samy to stop doing whatever they were about to do.
"h-have you..done this before?" will didn't even know if he wanted to know the answer. a pang of jealousy bubbled in his stomach at the idea of some other guy doing this with samy before he could.
"uh..yeah, but not a lot. like twice or something," samy quickly mumbled.
"oh."
"it was with that guy i dated briefly junior year. it wasn't anything crazy," the girl filled in making sure will knew she was no where near super experienced, but she knew a thing or two.
'"right," the blonde nodded. he remembered that guy a little too well, never really fond of him whenever he was around.
"we don't have to do this if you don't want to," samy said softly, caressing her boyfriend's cheek. he leaned into her touch.
"i want to..i just..i don't really know what to do past making out," will mumbled shyly, avoiding her gaze.
"that's okay. i can help," the girl encouraged with a smile. the hockey player met her eyes seeing how reassuring they looked.
"okay," he mumbled, smiling.
with that, samy attached her lips back to will's lips. the two shared another passionate kiss, the blonde's confidence slowly returning as he worked his tongue into the girl's mouth. she hummed, slowly dragging her hands through his curls before shifting lower again.
will felt drunk on her kisses. he never wanted the feeling of her lips against his to stop. his breath caught in his throat when samy's hand returned to the bulge in his pants.
"do you trust me?" the girl wondered. will nodded.
"gotta say it, will," she urged, needing a vocal confirmation.
"yes, i trust you," he managed through breathy pants.
will felt her grin against his lips as she slowly slipped her hand into his shorts. the boy jumped at the feeling of her warm hand against his clothed cock. "fuck," he let out.
"okay?" samy wondered.
"mhm, okay," the boy said, quickly nodding his head as samy stroked him through his shorts.
will's hips stuttered uncontrollably. his mind was racing along with the dreams he's had of him and samy doing this. her hand fit so perfectly around his length and god, it was so much better than his own hand.
"ugh, f-feels good," the blonde muttered, somewhat nervous still.
"yeah? feels good?" samy smiled, satisfied with the sounds she was pulling from will. he nodded with his head tipping back a little, struggling to keep his eyes open because he wanted to ingrain this moment into his brain forever.
his open neck was the perfect opportunity for the girl to pounce. she hooked her lips onto his throat, quickly sucking which pulled a guttural moan from within the boy. he bit hard on his lip in fear that someone would hear them while samy continued her stroking and nipping his skin. 
from knowing a small thing or two, will decided to try something. he slipped his hand up her shirt until it stopped on her boobs. a small gasp left his lips when he realized samy wasn't wearing a bra under her shirt. 
"okay?" the girl asked sensing his hesitation. 
"y-yes. yeah. you're not wearing a bra," he said a bit bluntly. a tiny chuckle left her lips. 
"is that okay?" 
"more than okay," will breathed. he cupped one breast with his hand, feeling samy's nipple harden under his touch. 
he stated rubbing it in tiny circles—something one of his teammates said girls like and boy, was he right. a soft moan escaped samy's lips which filled the blonde's chest with pride that he did that. 
he decided to keep going by adding a few squeezes on the covered bud. samy squirmed atop his lap which was definitely not helping the arousal in his pants, but will tried ignoring his own needs, wanting to focus all on samy. 
he continued that for another few moments before samy decided they needed their shirts off. she tugged at the bottom of will's and he quickly took the hint as he pulled it over his head. it flew somewhere in her room and his mouth watered a bit in anticipation for samy to lose her shirt. he'd never seen her completely naked on top, only with a bra still on. 
as soon as will saw her bare nipples, he thought he'd cum on the spot. they were so beautiful in a bra, the blonde had no idea they could get even better without a bra. 
"you can touch," samy nodded encouragingly. 
will slowly cupped both hands on her breasts. he squeezed before rubbing both of his thumbs over the buds. another moan left the brunette's lips, her head tipping back. the boy didn't waste a second attaching his lips to her skin like she did minutes ago. 
this wasn't new to will. he was practically a pro at giving hickeys in the most hottest, yet hidden places. samy's arms wrapped around his neck like she wanted him closer so his face was practically in her chest. 
he sucked everywhere across her top half—neck, collarbone, the soft flesh of the tops of her breasts. before will even knew it, her entire nipple slipped into his mouth and made contact with his tongue. 
a louder moan left the girl's lips and will knew he wanted to pull more of those sounds from her. 
"fuck, just like that will," samy moaned out, tugging harshly at the root of his curls. the boy hummed, trying to focus everything on samy and not his desperate need for a release. 
the girl let him go back and forth on each for a few more minutes before pulling him up and reconnecting their lips. will's swollen lips were slick with his saliva all while he tasted samy's signature gloss: strawberry. it made him dizzy in a good way because all he wanted was to kiss all of it off. 
"think you're ready?" samy wondered, not wanting to move too fast. the hockey player quickly nodded feeling the strain in his shorts and the way his hips were just involuntarily grinding against samy's core. 
"so ready." 
with that, she climbed off his lap, instructing him to pull his shorts and underwear down. samy dug through her drawer for a condom, flashing the imfaous rapper before pulling her own shorts down as well. will's entire mouth watered seeing her almost completely naked besides her underwear. 
"you're so gorgeous," the blonde muttered, not even able to tear his eyes away. 
will sat with his cock out where it occasionally twitched against his stomach. the tip was red and definitely ready, although he grew a bit conscious under samy's longing stare. 
did she not like it? was he not big enough? was he too big? 
the worries clouded will's brain until samy climbed back onto her bed, stroking her boyfriend's cheek to bring him back to reality, "remember, you can say no or stop at anytime, okay?" 
"i know," the blonde nodded. 
he watched his girlfriend rip open the rapper with her teeth which was quite literally the hottest thing he's ever seen. she found his gaze, silently asking permission to touch him. 
when he nodded samy's hand slowly wrapped arpund his length. her hand was enough to make him jump, "fuck." 
the precum oozing from the pretty tip was helpful as lube. as samy's thumb rubbed along the slit, will's head tipped back, eyes squeezing shut this time and his hands gripping the bedsheets. 
"so, so pretty, will," the brunette praised earning a large blush on his cheeks. 
"you think so?" he managed to get out through breathy pants. 
"mhmm. you're so big," when he found her gaze again the boy nearly lost it. she looked at him through hooded eyses, a mix of love and lust in her features. 
once will had enough, samy slowly slid the condom down. the plastic material caused a stutter in his hips and a small curse leaving his lips at his girlfriend's gentle touch. she fell back onto the bed, ushering the boy to follow her lead. 
he hovered over her, their breaths mixing together in slightly nervous pants. will's cock throbbed at the feeling of samy's entrance so close, yet he never broke eye contact. "just go slow and not rough," the girl explained. 
"right, of course," will nodded. 
he took ahold of his length, carefully directing it to samy's hole. the boy bit his lip, the anxiety bubbling in his stomach that he wouldn't do it right. the further he pushed his hips forward, the more his tip slid into samy. 
they let out loud moans at the first contact. "oh fuck," the boy moaned out. 
"like that, will. feels good," samy encouraged, gripping onto his biceps. 
he pushed himself further in, resisting every urge to thrust in, but his self-control was slipping fast. finally, he bottomed out. a mix between a sigh and groan escaped both of their lips. samy wrapped her legs around will's while they took a second to adjust. 
god, he felt even better inside of her. will thought the same as samy's walls squeezed every inch of his length along with his need to cum already. 
"whenever your ready," samy rubbed his back in soothing circles. 
"yeah, in a second. fuck, you feel so good," the boy muttered out. a thin line of sweat glistened across his forehead and at every inch where they were connected and touching. 
everything was so overwhelming for the hockey player. samy's boobs pressed against his chest, her legs wrapped around his, her squeezing him like her life depended on it. 
finally, will found it in himself to slowly start moving. he carefully raised his hips until just the tip was inside before pushing back in. 
"yeah, shit. so good," samy's praises fueled will's confidence as he picked up his pace little by little. 
"mm, fuck. you feel incredible. you're so beautiful," will rambled through his immense pleasure. 
he found a good speed while samy tried meeting his thrusts as well. the room filled with sounds of their sex and fuck, did they really hope no one walked by her room. 
will definitely wasn't going to last long. samy knew that based on how sensitive he was and the way his cock throbbed inside of her every time she squeezed a bit harder. the boy hid his face in the crook of her neck as his panting increased and incoherent thoughts tumbled from his lips. 
"oh fuck. fuck. yeah, mm—not gonna last," he managed through broken pants. 
"it's okay, you can cum," samy squeezed his shoulders. 
"want you to cum too," will had enough mind and knowledge to know that samy needed pleasure and a release too. 
he stuck his one hand between them, remembering from another teammate where the clit was. his fingers quickly rubbed it in fast circles wanting samy to release before he did despite his stittering hips and need to cum so close. 
samy's own hips stuttered at will's touch. she bit hard on his shoulder, trying to keep quiet as her climax approached. the pleasure overtook the pain, so will hardly felt a thing. 
"yeah, fuck. right there. keep going. don't stop." 
"god, i'm so fucking close. gonna make me cum. please tell me you're close," will urged, not sure how much longer he could hold back his load. 
"so close, will. keep going, please," the brunette nodded, voice high-pitched and squeaky. 
the dam broke. samy's climax hit her hard, her back arching off the bed further into will's chest. he wasn't far behind, spilling into the condom with the uncontrollale thrust of his hips and the string of curse words leaving his lips. 
"oh god, fuck. oh fuck," will collapsed, sweaty and spent. 
his hips continued in little stutters with a bit of aftershock. samy wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders as his face hid in her neck trying to regain his lost breath. 
"did so, so good will. so good," the girl praised, kissing the side of his head. 
"best first time ever," the blonde sighed. 
he finally lifted his head to meet her gaze. his curls stuck to his sweaty forehead, but the smile never left his lips. samy just giggled, "glad you think so." 
will slowly pulled out, groaning at the feeling of his cock slipping out. he pulled the condom off, placing it in the trash before laying back down and scooping samy into his arms. 
"not so bad, right?" the brunette raised her eyebrow. 
"with you, it was perfect," his words made her flush. gentle kisses were placed against her skin trying to savor everything from the best moment ever. 
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lunaekalenda · 8 months
Text
paternal figure
warnings: fem!reader, melusines call neuvillette "dad" (idk anymore what i'm doing), reader is referred as "partner" and some petnames by neuvi, purely selfish tbh.
The melusines think Neuvillette is the perfect dad. He cares for all of them, it's kind, soft and plays with them on his days off. He always pays visits and brings gifts to all of them, forgetting none, even the ones that already work in different points of Fontaine. The melusines love him as much as he loves them, that's why he's nervous when you both walk towards the little cave where they live. What if you don't like them? If they don't like you? If you get scared? If they get scared? Although they're kind by nature, he's afraid they have bad experience with humans and they reflect it towards you.
"Where are we going?" you ask again, smiling towards the man that walks in front of you, with a hand tangled on yours. He stops walking before taking air and your other hand, shiny eyes directly on yours. He's taking you there by surprise because he, the Iudex, the implacable man that looks for justice on Fontaine, was nervous as hell to tell you. It's such an important moment for him, to let you meet his family. After all, that's the best word to describe the bond that connects him, they'r their only parental figure, and all the little creatures that live a couple steps ahead.
"We're.... meeting my family today." He clears his throat, and you can't hide your surprise. Today? You didn't choose an special outfit or brought any gifts. You're about to scold your man when he keeps going. "They're a ton, and they're curious. They'll ask a ton of questions and the littlest ones will want to play with you all day long." he murmurs, taking his gaze to the entrance of the cave, too afraid to look at you. "Please, be patient with them, as much as you were with me." You catch his words easily, because he was a man that showed no feelings. It was hard at first, to get over the façade of confidence and seriousness to meet the warmest heart you could ever think of. "I'm sure they'll like you as much as I do"
Any scold words you had break down when he looks again at you. Sincerity, nervousness and a tony bit of anxiety mix on his eyes, the ones that never show anything more than confidence and love. You smile widely at him, excited by meeting his family, but afraid you won't be enough. Getting on your tip toes, you kiss his jaw before speaking.
"I really wanna meet them, Neuv. I'm sure they're amazing." he smiles sweetly, releasing one of your hands before walking again with the other still caged on his. "They are." he whispers, more for himself than for you.
You have only put a step inside the cave before you listen to tiny and quick steps. In front of you, a lot of little creatures run towards your man before hugging his legs. Their puffy hands and their little horns buried on his coat. You stay behind him smiling, looking at how all the little creatures surround him lovingly, without even noticing anything more than him. He kneels and they speak all at once.
"Can I show you my latest paint?"
"I baked cookies, do you want some?"
"Are you gonna play a little with us?"
"Can I remake your ponytail?"
He takes his gaze back to you, as he takes a second of silence to let all the melusines get his attention on him. He takes air.
"I wanna introduce someone to you." He says. Their tails move quickly, you wonder if excitedly or nervously, as Neuvillette stands up and walks towards you, taking your hand on his again and making you walk in between all the creatures. The closer you are, the more beautiful you think they are. Their big eyes scan you from head to toes, curious, and Neuvillette presses your waist softly, indicating you to crouch near them. You can hear his tiny voices speaking between them. "She's so pretty." "She seems so kind." "She looks like a princess." "Her smile is beautiful." You can only hear good words from their mouths, all of them still looking at you with adoration, when Neuvillette kneels near you. "She's my partner. Please, treat her kindly, although you always do." One of the melusines takes a couple steps ahead, smiling sweetly towards you. "Welcome to our village! Are you gonna stay to have dinner with dad?" you look back at Neuvillette, who nods with a smile, and you accept the invitation with a wide enthusiasm. The melusine takes your hand. "Come with me, I can cook something more if you don't like it." She takes you around the village, when other melusine follows. "Later can you come to my home? I can show you my coral collection!" Another one pops from behind her. "I also have marine makeup, I'm sure you would love to try it!"
The melusines take you home by home, showing you all types of things and curiosities, sharing everything they have with you and, although they're a tiny village, you feel so loved and accepted by everyone that you feel as if it was the most special place of all Teyvat. Sèdenne takes you back to her home, where the dinner will be hosted, and there you find Neuvillette, sitting on a near chair as a couple melusines take his hair on the characteristic low ponytail he has. He smiles widely when you arrive back, and once he's sure they're done, he stands up to meet you on the corridor. "How was it?" he whispers, softly, taking your chin on his hands. You smile towards him before he takes your lips on his, making all the melusians take their gazes away and blush. "It was amazing." You whisper back, and it's true. The melusines made you feel at home. "Should we take a seat?"
Sitting by his side on the table, with his hand on your thigh and the memory of his lips still on yours, all the melusines sit on the rest, while some of them chat with Neuvillette, excited and happy to be able to share their days with their favorite person in the world.
His smile while he listens shows how much he cares for all of them and the gesture alone makes you fall in love way more with him. With his softness, his respect, his love towards them. You could get used to this.
Once the dinner is done and you help them clean, Neuvillette takes your waist, as a signal to leave. Some of the melusines yawn, but they don't want to stop talking with both of you yet. Neuvillette hugs every single one of them, and they run towards your arms right after. "Don't leave, please" "At you coming with him every day?" "Please, visit us more!" were some of the words shared with you. When you left, the tiny melusines share how happy their dad looks and how perfect you seem as the mom role they'll always missed.
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