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#I've been sick for the last week (still am)
richonnesbitch · 2 days
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Hey everyone! Here's chapter 1 of a fanfic I wrote about what would have went down had we gotten a bridge wedding in season 9. It's been wracking my brain forever so I just had to write it. If everyone likes it, I'll post chapter 2!
Rick marveled at the ring in his hand. Not only was the ring itself perfect, but the timing itself was. There was about a week's time before the bridge was completed and Rick was hoping to marry her on that exact day. His dream was about to come true.
He placed a hand on Gabriel's shoulder, giving it squeeze. "Thank you, Gabriel."
Gabriel smiled. "Congratulations, Rick. When are you going to propose?"
"Soon. Tonight. As soon as possible."
"Well, good luck.", Gabriel replied earnestly.
Rick smiled and nodded. "I want us to have the wedding the day the bridge is completed."
"You're gonna plan a wedding in only a week?"
Rick let out a chuckle. "I've been planning this for months."
Gabriel chuckled with him. "Okay, Rick. Good luck."
Rick pocketed the ring as he walked home, plotting the entire way on how he should make his move. He'd been so focused on the wedding itself he didn't even think on how he'd propose. And now he only had a week to do it. Heat took over his body as the jitters started to kick in.
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As Michonne walked into her home the smell of candles, spaghetti, and garlic bread overtook the room. Surprise grew on her face as she looked around the room. "Rick?"
"Hey." He was standing at the kitchen table pouring two glasses of red wine. He had a huge smile on his face and his eyes were as bright as the sun.
She begin to smile as well. "What's all this about?"
"Just supper. Hope you're hungry."
"I am. Where's Judith?"
"Rosita offered her to stay the night. I thought me and you could have some time to ourselves." He pulled out a chair, gesturing for her to take a seat.
She knew he was up to something and she had a good idea of what it was but felt excited to see how this played out. She happily took her seat with Rick taking the chair next to her.
"This looks amazing.", she complimented the food, taking a bite of it. She nodded her head. "It is."
Rick was staring, still smiling at her. "Glad you like it." He grabbed her hand, using his thumb to rub her fingers. "How was your day?"
The two continued to talk as they ate. "Good. The garden is thriving, even more than last month. No one's sick in the infirmary right now. Alexandria's doing good."
Rick nodded his head. "Yeaaah. I knew you'd take good care of this place."
"We are taking care of place.", she firmly corrected him.
"Mmm... It's mostly you. I just wanted to say... you're doing an amazing job. And I really appreciate it. Thank you for everything that you do.", Rick complimented her sincerely. And he truly meant every word. He was so beyond grateful for this woman he felt like he couldn't find the words to express it. There were not words strong enough to show his appreciation for her. But he sure tried.
Every word hit her hard, sending tingles throughout her body. His voice did things to her when he spoke softly with his rough, southern drawl.
She decided to take the compliment. She had been working very hard lately and it was nice to feel appreciated. He always knew how to make her feel seen. "Thank you, Rick.", she responded with a hand squeeze. "What about you? How was your day?"
He still had that smile on his face, while also looking kind of sweaty. "Great. Really great. The bridge should be completed in about a week."
"Rick, that's amazing. We should do something to celebrate! Us, the rest of the communities."
Rick shook his head in agreement. "Yeah, I was thinking the same." That was the end of his sentence but it seemed like there was something else he wanted to say. Instead he said, "you don't like the wine?"
"Oh, sorry. I just... don't like the taste of wine and spaghetti."
"Let me get you some water then." He let go of her hand to get up but she tightened her grip.
"I can get it."
Rick laughed. "Let me.", he softly demanded. Michonne released his hand and he swiftly moved to fetch her a glass. "You want ice?"
"Sure."
She watched lovingly as he opened the freezer and grabbed a few cubes out the tray, dropping them into her water. He could feel her eyes on him. "So, this celebration thing... Kingdom will come, Hilltop will come. We can all bring some food. Maybe Eugene can be a DJ, you know since he's handy with that stuff. I'm sure he has all types of CD's, tapes, and whatnot. " He walked back to the table, setting her glass next to her plate and taking his seat again.
"You've got this all planned out, huh?"
He grinned. "Yeah, I guess."
"So when are we doing all this?"
"The night the bridge is complete."
"Have you talked to everyone else about this yet?"
"Well, a little bit. Not in detail. But I don't see why they wouldn't. This would be good for all of us."
"Well, you should talk to them as soon as possible since it's only a few days away."
"Yeah, I'll do that. But..." His voice became slightly shaky.
"But what?"
"I wanted to go over it with you first." He looked down, seemingly unable to meet her eyes. "Michonne... I've had this on my mind a while now. This bridge is the start of something new. It really feels like everything is finally coming together. All the communities coming together like this... this world was broken. And here you are putting the pieces back together. If anyone could do it, it's you." Suddenly he rose out of his chair and bent down on one knee pulling a ring out of the breast pocket of the plaid shirt he was wearing. "You are the love of my life. I love you so, so much. I'm yours till the day I die. Will you marry me?" Michonne could see his chest puffing up and down.
Her eyes begin to well up with tears. Slowly she joined him on his knees, taking both of his hands in hers. "If you would have told me all that time ago that we ended up here, I would have never believed you. I still can't believe it. I love you so much, Rick. You're my one true love. Of course I'll marry you."
Michonne felt Rick's cold wet tears trickle down his face as she pulled him in for a deep kiss. As they pulled away, the pair begin to laugh.
Quietly Rick stood up, taking Michonne's hand again. "Come on.", he whispered, guiding her upstairs to their bedroom. She continued to giggle.
The couple ravished one another as the night went on, just completely enjoying themselves together without a care in the world. They fought so long, so hard for simple moments like these and now their time had finally came. Nothing was gonna keep this from them ever again. Nothing and no one. To them, this was everything. They had the rest of their lives to spend together and not a single moment would go by unappreciated... least of all this one.
After a very long, very pleasureful night exhaustion started to consume them. As daylight slowly crept up on them, they decided it was time to finally get some rest.
"So. You're taking my last name, right?"
Michonne chuckled. "Yes, baby. I'm taking your last name."
Rick softly smiled, placing a tiny kiss on her shoulder as they laid cuddling in their bed. "Good."
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majeoeje · 2 days
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Thousands suns
Tanjiro X Reader
I'd give him my heart and i wouldn't even mind if he broke it
He changed you. In was subtle and painfully slow, but it was far too late for you once you realized the hold that Kamado Tanjiro had on you. He practically got you wrapped on his fingers without him realizing
"I accidently bought an extra haori, on my last mission, i thought it would look nice on you" he said, with that priceless smile of his
Now you never left the house without it.
"That's a really beautiful hairpin [name], it suits you well!"
Now you always wear it.
"I love how this tea is so fragrant, thank you so much for bringing it to me" he says, still smiling despite breaking countless of bones in his body
Now you bring a cup for him everyday when he's sick, even if he wasn't awake
You truly could get lost in the echoes of his voice calling your name as your heart swells in contentment.
GOD. It was embarassing. Some part of you resented how easily swayed you were when it comes to him, acting like a lovesick fool, wearing your heart on your sleeve. But how could you not? When the boy right in front of you has the purest heart out of everyone you ever met in your life. If it was him, you wouldn't mind having your heart break again and again until it could only be recognize as a pile of mush. But nonetheless, you wouldn't give him your heart. you wouldn't want him to see how tainted you truly are, a tarred and rotten soul.
The only thing beautiful that truly came from your heart was your newfound love for him. But it wasn't right fot him to be with someone like you, it wasn't right... you should do everything in your power to stop it. But your selfish desires wanted to keep this feeling. Even if it's only for yourself, and you hated that.
"[Name] you're spacing out again.... are you alright?"
He touched your hand, you could feel the calloused hard skin of his palm under your bandaged hand.
"Ah- sorry Tanjiro, my mind was.. somewhere else.."
"That is quite alright.... But are you feeling better now? That tree demon was quite the handful is it not? Haha." he says, trying to lighten the mood, as he always do. You layed helplessly with 8 broken bones and a harsh scar that dragged from your right shoulder to your left waist, his existance could soothe all wounds in youe body.
"You're right!.. Ahaha..ha.." you laughed uncharacteristically dry, trying to make your point accross for him to just go away.
But he only sat himself closer to you, before he starts chatting away about his wonderful day with giyuu and his soba eating contest. It was heartfelt, heartwarming and so so precious. How you wanted to just listen to his voice all day...
"Tanjiro-!..."
He was cut off from his story, looking at you confused
"I think.. it's time for you to go. I am rather-...tired, i wish to rest"
"O-oh.. i see, rest well [Name]" he said, before he sweetly tucked your blanket and fixed your pillow for you "i'll write to you!! So get well soon!" He shouted, before leaving the infirmary
The familliar sounds of his steps gradually becoming more faint as he went away
"I'm the worst." You say (you are)
You looked to the drawer filled with Tanjiro's unanswered letters. You slowly took one, and held it close to your heart. You could still smell the dried wisteria flowers that he gifted you along side it.
"Well that was.. INCREDIBLY STUPID.." goto said, an unlucky kakushi that by an awful chance had to listen to your sad and miserable love life. You could feel his judging stare from the corner of the room
"HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN THERE???!!" you said, surprised. Has your instincs as a demon slayer weakened over the course of your bedridden days? It has only been a week????
"Maybe if you weren't so enamoured by him, then you'd notice i've been standing here the whole damn time."
He was right, despite your efforts in trying to avoid him, everyone coulf notice how your eyes still couldn't budge away from him
"Can you not? Don't you see that i'm a heartbroken mess??"
"AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT" he said, as he poked your face aggresively.
You looked at him offended before turning the other way. You both knew the answer
He sighed. He was a 23 year old man, consulting 2 teenagers on their love life. Dream job right here..
But despite his irritated tone. You could tell there was sincerity in his words. You had grown used to his counseling daily over these week.
Well it's not like you could go anywhere else.
"I know, you think that you're not good enough for him because of something you did in the past.. but, that kid looks at you-"
"He looks at everyone like that-" you cut off again, before earning an earnest pinch on your arm"
"OW OW-"
"LET ME FINISH." He sighed again "he looks at you as if you hunged the stats, it's wildly obvious, kid. i think that despite what you believe, out of everyone... maybe Tanjiro could forgive you for what you did in the past."
Forgiveness.. could anyone ever forgive you for what you did? When you belittle someone to the point they're turned unrecognizeable? To become the very cause of them morphing into something so twisted and destructive? To say that someone in this world would think anything else but vicious of you would be something more self serving.
You were glad you were still face the other way. Because at least you could pretend that you weren't crying over this.
"... you're just saying that to make me feel better..." you said pathetically as you layed on that infirmary bed miserably. You haven't missed a day where you haven't wondered if the outcome would've been different.
"Maybe. But you wouldn't know until you've said something" he shrugged, before leaving the infirmary.
You look to the side to find Tanjiro's blade being left behind. He left his sword.. you thought
But it's okay.. you can just ask someone else to retreive it. It's no big deal just don't think about him!
Alone at last..
Alone again.
You were always okay with that. But having to meet Tanjiro, some parts of you could bear to stand it no longer. As if a gnawing feeling to seek his presence haunts your dreams and every waking moment. How could you wish to recover from this? How can you recover from him?
You couldn't..
What if he needed his sword..? You said internally, knowing well he was just going to The Water Hashira's residence. What if he encouter a demon on the way there? Better safe than sorry... you thought, knowing well it's 7 in the morning
The sounds of your steps echoing through the corridor of the butterfly estate, at first Aoi was too busy cooking to notice but the sounds of your painful screech and every huff through your painful steps on the hardwood floors only concerns her even more
"Going somewhere?"
Aoi says, with the knife that she forgot to set aside in his hand. The murderous aura coming out of her wasn't helping whatsoever...
"....Just taking a walk?.... AhaHA- please put that down, Aoi... "
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE RESTING!!" She yelled at you, scolding you for your behaviour knowing damn well you're supposed to be resting.
What you didn't know however was that Tanjiro was already on his way inside the Butterfly Mansion once again, remembering to retrieve his sword.
Though his hearing wasn't that very good after the fight with upper moon 4 making him walk straight to your heated scolding session.
"Sorry Aoi.." you said, defeated.
"Aoi-san? What's wrong?.." he said, finally realizing the situation after seeing you sat on the floor while Aoi stood up waving his arms around like a parent after finding out their child did something bad.
Aoi let out a groaned before instructing Tanjiro to escort you back to your bed.
Seeing you carry around his sword though lets him know of your intentions. Seeing that precious smile plastered on his face made you somewhat embarassed... it's as if he could read you easily like an open book. It was as if even if you tried to do anything discreet, he'd found you out everytime. It was as if no matter how many times you run and hide your adoration from him.. that smile would appear and ruined it all.
"Thank you [name], you didn't have to do that...." he said as he sat you on the infirmary bed. "You're
"It's nothing really... but-" you tried to give a rebuttle, trying to downplay your situation.
"And here i was afraid you might be avoiding me for some reason...." he said, maybe he didn't realize it. But that smile could melt you sooner than the power of a thousand suns "I'm glad!.. i really am.."
Oh.. there it is that tingly feeling again.
you're fucked.
"I'm sorry Tanjiro... but, you're actually correct" you could even say he's on the nose... haha.
"I must admit that i have been avoiding you. And trust me it's nothing against you.." oh it's everything against him.
"I want you to know that.. so please do not worry" PLEASE worry more.
You held his hand, as you felt the calloused surface of his palm. You thought he would pull away, but he sat there intertwining his fingers with yours. You could get lost in him. His touch, his voice, his warmth.. and those eyes.
"Then... would you tell me what happened?.." he asked, the melody of his voice lulling you in a daydream
"I.. i think i fell in love w-" SHIT. That was your outside voice.. you blame him for distracting you in such manner.
"HUH-" Tanjiro were surprised with your words.. pushing a precariously obvious intrest in his tone of voice "W-with who?.. ahaha-"
"I- it doesn't matter!!" You shook your head violantly feeling him coming closer. The proximity only pushing you to spill all your guts altogether...
"I- it's just that.. it doesn't matter because he doesn't love me back.. you know?... there's no way he would ever accept a heart like mine" you say incredibly negative, waving your hand around like some idiot. Breaking the handholding taht was previously established.
"Ah-" you felt Tanjiro catching your hands in the air and putting them together.
"Then.." he trailed of. Breaking eye contact. You missed the way flush spread all over his complexion all this time, only realizing the embarassement and hesitance that was plastered obvious so
"Can i have it?"
"W-wha.."
"Your heart.. May i have it?" He said, fixing his words as he looks into your eyes in anticipation. "That is.. if you're willing to have me of course."
Woah.
...
WOAH?
WAIT....WOAH!?!?!
At this point you don't think you could even give your heart to anyone else...nor even him because your dramativ ass thought your heart has downright exploded.
It took you more than a while to process with Tanjiro looking at you, concerned for you, he didn't even know if you were lucid by how many times he called out to you.
"SAY SOMETHING YOU IDIOT" Said Goto behind you, as he swiftly hit you right in the head.
"But- i- you.. i think maybe you-"
"Fix your breath,kid" he said, clicking his tounge before disappearing again.
"You.. you're the kindest person i ever known Tanjiro. I have a tainted background, it's not right for me to keep that from you. Please understand that i'm a person who will forever bear the consequences of my sins, i... there's no reality where i can think that i deserve you."
In fact maybe there wasn't any reality where you deserve Tanjiro Kamado.
"Don't say that.. please don't say that!" He yelled, now clenching your hands despretely "If i have to, then i'll bear the other half of your sins to hell. So don't speak as if you don't matter!.."
To help people was something that Tanjiro always aspires to do. He does it even without thinking.. but when it was with you, he can't help but overthink his actions would she like this? Would it be weird if i complimented her? Would it be too obvious? At some point he worries the nice things that he tries to do for you ultimately come from the a selfish desire to woo you. He worries it wasn't genuine and it was self serving. He worries that he wasn't doing this right.
But what he worried the most was that he couldn't stop it. He couldn't stop basking in your smile, your light, your attention, your presence. He knew he was getting spoiled.
"Would you take me, even like this?" You said, giving your heart to him."
"I wouldn't have it any other way"
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Sick days
A/N: This is the last part of a previous request, I'm really happy that you have enjoyed the last two and I hope you enjoy this one. I've based off myself a little bit, just job wise really 🤷‍♀️
Arthur Leclerc x reader
Synopsis: "Maybee some of the care for her when she's sick 🥹🥹"
Warnings: sick reader, soft Arthur
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You loved your job, getting to watch kids before and after school when their parents would drop them off early or pick them up late. You loved working with the different age groups, doing activities, and running around with them. It wasn't until you got sick that you realised that working with kids might not be completely good. You wake up on a Saturday morning, your sinuses are blocked up, you've got a pounding headache, and your joints ache.
You mentally curse yourself for getting sick, you knew it was from work since you haven't been anywhere else lately. What made it even worse? Arthur has a week off. You're supposed to pick him up from the airport tonight. Luckily you decided to gradually clean your shared apartment throughout the week, so everything has already been done. You gradually get up, heading to the kitchen to get breakfast. You put down 2 pieces of toast, spreading butter and vegemite on them when come up (I am an AUSTRALIAN. Vegemite toast is like a medical remedy for sick days, do not judge me 🫶).
After finishing breakfast, you move on with your day. You head to your home gym, hoping to get a little cardio done. You managed to make it through an hour on the treadmill before your sinuses became too much. You quickly shut it off before running to grab a tissue and pump yourself with more anti-cold tablets. You made it to the shower, washing off the sweat.
You spent the rest of the day in front of the tv, trying to relax and clear your cold up as much as you could. Arthur's plane was arriving at 9pm, so you knew you had to leave at 8pm. It was 7pm when you realised you must shower and get ready to pick your boyfriend up.
After parking at the airport, you made your way in to find Arthur's gate. You had about 20 minutes to go until he walked through the doors. Your nose was still stuffy and you had a bit of a cough, better than this morning but still not great. You sat on a bench, watching as his plane rolled up and connected to the ramp. He was the first person out of the door, frantically looking around until he spotted you.
He broke into a grin and picked up speed, you stood up and broke into a run. Bodies collided in a bone-crushing hug in the middle of the airport, your arms around his neck as he gripped your waist. He pulled his head back, and you let go and grabbed his luggage, avoiding his kiss so you wouldn't get him sick. You linked your hand with him, pulling his luggage behind you. He didn't move, letting go of your hand and pouting as you turned around.
"Baby, what are you doing?" slightly amused by his reaction, you moved closer to him. He mumbled under his breath, "What did you say?" you asked him. "You didn't kiss me" he said through his pout. You giggle a little when you answer, "Arty, I've got a cold, I don't want to get you sick on your time off". He gave you a massive eye roll when he said "Seriously, love? You know I don't give a shit of your sick or not, I'll gladly get sick if it means I still get to kiss you"
You laugh as you reach up to cup his cheek, "I think you might be going soft, baby" you joke. "I don't care" is the only thing you hear as he brings his hand to the back of your head and connects your lips in a mind-blowing, firework show of a kiss. You both make your ways back to the car and head home for the night. Lo and behold, you wake up the next morning with no cold symptoms. However, your boyfriend is shivering and sniffling. "I told you, baby" you says as you big spoon him, "Shut up", he responds, "I still love you, even if you got me sick" he chuckles. "I love you too, Arty"
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lindagoesmushrooming · 4 months
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Spinellus fusiger growing on mycena mushrooms.
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coquelicoq · 11 months
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just got a biopsy to see if my [checks notes] 15-week period is because of cancer. however then my friends drove me to get chocolate and the new martha wells novel so, you know, there are pros and cons here.
#the epic highs and lows of having a uterus#highs: people buy you chocolate!!#lows: all the other stuff :(#anyway i am. a lil stressed out lol#also pretty lightheaded! i'm not really even sure why because ok so yeah i was already anemic from the 15 weeks of bleeding#plus i was anemic before that also#plus there was a lot of blood during the biopsy. but i feel like that blood was just the stuff in my uterus that'd be coming out anyway#as opposed to new blood from within my veins or something#and i'm still sick lolllll#so it's a fun time. BUT! martha wells novel! and i lent all systems red to a friend who will hopefully become obsessed with murderbot#and talk to me about it constantly! (<-my endgame at all times)#it's so funny every time i've been to the doctor they're like 'date of your last period?' and i'm like april 9th. and it is ongoing.#and then we just 😬 at each other#anyway cross your fingers for me. apparently if the biopsy comes back negative they don't have other ideas for what could be going on#not sure how to feel about that. obviously i don't want to have cancer but it's very stressful not knowing what is going on#do i just bleed forever indefinitely??? i'll be real with you lads that doesn't seem great :/#she was like next step would be to put in a hormonal iud and i was like that is absolutely not an option that i will consider#i would sooner get a hysterectomy#so idk maybe i will get a hysterectomy! biopsy results in a week. okay. ending the tags now#if anybody wants me to trigger tag for cancer mentions let me know and i can definitely do that going forward <3
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starpros-sunshine · 10 days
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I Need to get out of the habit of mindless scrolling I literally can feel myself zone out while doing that ATP I'm *this* close to just deleting any amd all social media platforms and returning to the times of radio and, well. YouTube should stay I need to watch my two hour long video essay /somewhere/....and Tumblr I can't abandon Tumblr..... there's people here that I can't just abandon.....
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I keep listening to different pieces of music that I love and then my brain comes in all helpful with 'this sounds like great music to die with doesn't it'
#tw suicide#im just. so tired#and i know that right now part of it is im sick (not covid tho) but still.#and it's like im grieving the lost friendship all over again and what might have been#i am the best version of myself when im with the boy. but now no wonder he is avoiding me. and i don't blame him! but for some reason it's#hitting rlly hard again atm and it's just. Im Sad.#i really don't know why that's so prevalent in my mind right now#and it's rlly not safe for me to drive long distances alone i think. i find driving v stressful#and any guesses what *that* leads to#tw sh#the answer was: a frightening amount.#and then there are things i don't understand#my brother begged me to destroy the suicide note i wrote yesterday#and i don't know why. because it's very unlikely to be something that i would stop to do tbh. so what there is would at least explain#*something* perhaps. i don't know#i have spent more than half of my waking hours in the last week seriously thinking of suicide. i don't know how to stop this#and given that i've read two books in full and gone to a play i enjoyed that says something about what hte rest of the time has been filled#with. i don't know how to get out of this. in some ways i feel like it's worse now than it was bc i expected it to get better when mum and#dad got back. if anything it's worse - more constant.#the lows are not quite as low but the baseline is definitely lower#i am just feeling very hopeless rn#yesterday i was driving and reciting psalm 23 and i was so overcome with emotion and i repeated it multiple times and that helped somewhat#but only in the moment ig. i don't know. i don't know how to fix this or even improve it#if im still feeling like this on monday i am so going to walk over the road and straight-up ask to borrow a kitten overnight.#and hope the kitten doesn't decide to go near all the cuts :(#a part of me is genuinely wondering if i should check myself into a psych ward. the other parts of me say either that this isn't bad enough#for that or thta i am simply too scared to. which is true. nasty stuff in psych wards for obvious reasons#anyway i need prayers thankyou
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hueningkai · 1 year
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lord-radish · 11 months
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I woke up 20 minutes before I had to be at work this morning so I called in sick 😎
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arklay · 1 year
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Your anger and sadness are so fucking justified. Stealing someone's oc is ridiculous. There's NO need to do that! You don't even need that much creativity to make your own, and if you're really stuck (like I get sometimes) just look towards canon characters or blogs dedicated to help building ocs. What's worse is tumblr's blocking system because, unless you block them on anon, it simply blocks their blog. They can log out and still view your blog! God I'm so sorry that this happened.
thank you 😭😭 i'm like so just horrifically angry right now that idk if i'm overreacting or if i was seeing things that weren't there, but no, the more i look and the more i match up the timeline of posts, it becomes extremely apparent to me that their oc is a copy of diana, and that really really hurts. and yes, i've cried a lot about it, because i talk about her so often and how much she means to me and how much just creative energy she gave me this year and the fact that i even write consistently now, so it hurts. i put a lot into her, so it's just really unfair, and like you said, blocking people on here is like hardly even effective
#asks.#anonymous#thank you for like validating my anger because i often feel a lot of guilt with my reactions and um idk like i feel like i am not allowed#to get angry in the first place because of like imposter syndrome and all that nonsense. but i just kept seeing things from that oc's story#and not just backstory but little facts or what were throw away comments and it just... everything. i could connect to diana. and the#colour scheme is similar too and the heights and the timeline and the little things about like ex-husband. working at nest. close to the#birkins. saw al as an annoyance at the start lmao like there's so much i could connect. and now seeing that their oc also injected themself#with a virus on a whim which i've talked about many times with diana doing and that he got very overprotective and worried afterwards with#it. like. all these things in isolation. fine. whatever. but when they all add up... it's ridiculous. like i'm just so hurt because i#constantly talk about how special diana is to me and how special they both are to me and i don't know what to do because i don't feel the#need to reach out and like accuse directly but it's like. they get away with that. and my ideas. and my character who has been around since#feb. i made her on valentine's day. i'm not even joking. so. i didn't post about her until early march. well i did but that's the earliest#in her tags because i delete posts a lot. went and looked at my oc blog and no there are still things from feb. but on here the earliest is#march. i'm just not doing great with it all i suppose. especially because i had something happen last week that made me really upset and i#was just getting back into like okay i'll post on here more often. and then i notice this and idk i'm rambling but i just feel really sick#like the realisation sunk in and i felt sick to my stomach so it hurts#but um thank you for saying all of this like it does mean a lot to me to know that my reaction is justified so thank you
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earthmoonlotus · 1 year
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Wow I am Not Doing Well :(
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theghostofashton · 1 year
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Saw you posting Reki again. Everything okay?
(Thanks for showing us Reki 🥰)
lol
i mean like. literally speaking, yes. but i ran out of my meds a little over a week ago and keep forgetting to call the doctor's office to get a refill before they close so i have. not been Great this week but for literally No Reason lol
always i will always show reki have you seen him? have you seen my reki? okay thank you anyway. i love my reki. reki, my love...
oF sKaTeBoArDiNg
#crogan tag#lol i've also just been. really tired this week and stressed about practicum because we go into the field next monday and we STILL don't#have our placements which is frustrating and i accidentally fell asleep for a half hour earlier today and had... well it wasn't a nightmare#but i woke up Feeling like it was like i felt like i couldn't breathe for a minute and i was like Scared for a good minute after i woke up#even tho nothing happened and my heart was racing and it kind of just. never went away and like head has been... not throbbing but i can#feel this like. pulsing behind my eyes and up in my forehead and idk why and like i'm starting to cry as i type this and idk why because#like there's no genuine reason for me to be sad right now and i think that's getting to me and my throat has been tight all day like#swallowing hurts and not in the sick kind of way and idk reki just makes me happy i love him i love him so much frick i need to hug vanessa#(my stuffed animal pig) right now idk why typing this is getting to me or even why i'm typing this sorry not to just dump everything on you#i'm sure this was a joke and like it's actually really funny and i giggled but now i'm suddenly realizing that h#*hm maybe i'm not lol i just feel bad because my mental health has been so bad this week that i just haven't been answering any messages#frick sorry this is a lot i'm so sorry i'm hoping that typing this out in the tags will make me calm down or feel better or. idk whatever#ranting in the tags usually makes me feel better because i'm saying Something and not just stewing in it also i swear i can hear my#eyebrows moving and it's so weird like that's not a bad thing i just keep noticing it and i can Hear them maybe i'm just neurodivergent lol#just a random observation... or maybe i'm just tired lol bestie i am so so rry this is a lot feel free to ignore my tags you didn't ask for#this oiugytftgyhujis also i Have stopped crying so like it only lasted for a minute - woooooo#i hope you're doing well <3#corey rambles:)
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scarletcomet · 2 years
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my therapist literally always cancels on me when i need therapy the most
#maybe that's why im at a point where i think therapy is useless (my parents are making me and they pay my tuition)#canceled on my last semester when my friend died by suicide#now when my mental heath has not been great and i've been self harming#still have never processed that first thing as well as my own suicide attempt#so sometimes ill start thinking about that stuff like randomly throughout the day and have thoughts and feelings#i finally opened up to my therapist about sh but now im gonna go week(s) without talking to her when i need it most#like i know she has a life and stuff and it's not her fault lol#anyways im at a point right now where therapy is useless#i've tried multiple different anxiety meds in the last few weeks#and my dr says if this one doesn't work then there's not any other meds#im not suicidal or whatever but sometimes things just feel so hopeless and life feels like never ending torment#it's whatever. i'm fine. i have to be fine#even if i do get through this week then there's just gonna be another and another and another#shut up brain. these are the kinds of thoughts that remind me of when i was really suicidal and bring back bad feelings and memories#why am i like this#im so sick of years of mental illness ruining my life and it's only been like 7 years of this and i have to do like 60 more??#shut up brain#i can't let myself get suicidal. idk why but i just can't#my mood has been ok lately and my anxiety has been the problem so wtf is up with this?#tw self harm#tw: suicide
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babygirlthor · 2 years
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me: yeah i'm really busy, i've got a lot to do
also me: *still on tumblr*
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urlredacted · 7 months
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man i wish i had more grocery money lmao
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