#canceled on my last semester when my friend died by suicide

[scarletcomet]

my therapist literally always cancels on me when i need therapy the most

#maybe that's why im at a point where i think therapy is useless (my parents are making me and they pay my tuition) #canceled on my last semester when my friend died by suicide #now when my mental heath has not been great and i've been self harming #still have never processed that first thing as well as my own suicide attempt #so sometimes ill start thinking about that stuff like randomly throughout the day and have thoughts and feelings #i finally opened up to my therapist about sh but now im gonna go week(s) without talking to her when i need it most #like i know she has a life and stuff and it's not her fault lol #anyways im at a point right now where therapy is useless #i've tried multiple different anxiety meds in the last few weeks #and my dr says if this one doesn't work then there's not any other meds #im not suicidal or whatever but sometimes things just feel so hopeless and life feels like never ending torment #it's whatever. i'm fine. i have to be fine #even if i do get through this week then there's just gonna be another and another and another #shut up brain. these are the kinds of thoughts that remind me of when i was really suicidal and bring back bad feelings and memories #why am i like this #im so sick of years of mental illness ruining my life and it's only been like 7 years of this and i have to do like 60 more?? #shut up brain #i can't let myself get suicidal. idk why but i just can't #my mood has been ok lately and my anxiety has been the problem so wtf is up with this? #tw self harm #tw: suicide

[giraffodil]

Failure Update? LONG POST SORRY

Personal stuff below (I am on mobile, scroll fast) I got super frustrated and decided to take a drive and now I am half way over to the grad school I was going to (from New Mexico to California and I am in Flagstaff Arizona) I COULD just drive the rest of the way over and get my damn self started in the semester. But I have already sent in notification that I am dropping out. BUT I haven't heard confirmation from anyone that they got my email or have done anything about it. BUT I have declined my job transfer in California and accepted my job back in NM. I am still fairly fucked but now slightly to the west of where I was before. I mean, having extreme anxiety attacks that make one barely able to function for days is a fairly good indication that maybe one shouldn't take the most stressful and demanding road available. But failing at this awesome opportunity isn't exactly soothing for my anxiety disorder either. I might as well go over and pick up the damn bed couch thing I had shipped to my dorm that Amazon couldn't cancel delivery on in time. I have no idea how I would get it and/or my money back through the dorm folks. But how surreal and painful would it be to show up, not move in, say hello goodbye, and trundle back home? BUT how terrifying and overwhelming would it be to start the semester off on the heels of an extreme, literally crippling, 3 day long depressive episode? There were hours when I wanted to get up off the floor but literally couldn't. It was bad. I don't know about living in the dorms with this condition. Much less trying to balance a demanding school schedule with the possibility of losing hours or days to this illness. On the other hand, if I go back to NM, I am seriously thinking about looking into getting a therapy dog so I will feel safer living independently. I have a connection to a group who trains them. Please, universe or whatever, help me through this one eh? What am I supposed to do with my life? How do I move forward with my recovery from this mental illness? Do I push through to try and conquer my fears and achieve my highest potential? Do I redefine success and the good life on my own terms and pursue a gentler life? What kind of work will bring me the satisfaction, pride, and joy I need? What about the financial resources I need? The personal growth? The contribution to my community? And for that matter, what is my community? Do I need to have some big impact on the state of justice in the world or just survive and make a few people happier? I am ok being a little poor but will my future kids resent the fact that I could have had a more affluent life but turned it down? What about my parents when they need help In their old age? In what kind of setting should I look for my future partner? What if things get too Naziish here and I need to leave the country? What if I can't manage my student debt? What if I try to be an entrepreneur and don't make it ad go bankrupt? What if I try to make it as an artist and can't support myself and have to keep a day job I hate forever? What if I just get a mediocre regular job like all my friends and lose the ability to follow my passions altogether? What if I was never ever destined to be extraordinary and was always fated to live a dull, ordinary, unremarkable life? What if I look back on my life when I am 80, like my dad, and struggle to find anything significant I have ever done past the age of 25? What if, like my dad, I let my mental illness alienate me from everything except a tiny little world where I can micromanage everything? What if, like my great aunt, I become a spinster and die a virgin? What if by registering on a dating site as a wlw I end up on a registry of known homosexuals to be targeted by alt-right Nazis if they rise in power? What if the attack on the arts and science cuts off both of my possible career interests? What if I become totally dependant on my mom for support for my mental illness? What if I don't find another love of my life and she dies and I am utterly and completely destroyed? What if something happens to my cats? What if Steven Universe gets canceled? What if Eichiro Oda dies before One Piece gets finished? What if I die on accident but because I am known to have had suicidal thoughts the insurance companies don't pay my parents anything? What would happen to my poor mom if I really did harm myself, would she ever be ok again? What do the people at my maybe grad school think of me and my struggling with mental illness? Are they fed up and want me to quit and get out of their hair? Are they rooting for me, and will be disappointed if I don't pull it together and get my degree? Are they entirely too busy to give me a second thought and won't notice or care if I make it or not? What about my potential roommates and classmates and peer mentor and employer and such? How well would they tolerate someone like me who cries a lot and flakes out and is fat and makes too many excuses? What if my potential roommates are homophobic? What if they're lesbians but better than me and don't accept me? What if I run into people I met last year and it is painfully awkward? What if the professors resent me for taking a spot away from another student who could have been successful TWICE? What if I can't find a therapist or get a bad one or have to be on a waiting list for a month or can't get insurance? What if Medicaid suspects me of fraud for some reason and kicks me off and demands that I pay them back for my medications and I can't and I end up in trouble with the law and with terrible credit? What if we inherit a ton of money from the ranch and my mom no longer qualifies for financial aid for her meds and she has to choose between spending her inheritance on medicine or risking her leukemia returning incurably? What if she has a coughing fit and chokes to death while I am away? What if my dad is about to pass away but he doesn't tell me because his paranoia makes him think I don't care or I hate him? What if I find a girlfriend, fall in love, and my extended family finds out and tries to cut my mom and I out of our inheritance? What if my yoyoing on this whole grad school thing has alienated me from my few remaining friends? What if my confidence is permanently fucked by this? What if my mutuals unfollow me for dumping like this? What if my car full of all my worldly possessions is stolen? What if I just get fatter and fatter until I am morbidly obese? What if my new gay haircut gets me attention from homophobes but not other wlw? What if I have a billion cavities or undiagnosed cancers or am diabetic? What if I try to post this long thing and Tumblr loses all of it?

#long post #Personal #wall of text #negative #worries #depression cw #anxiety cw #mental illness cw #paranoia cw #what if

[superblyjovialtheorist-blog]

What is the cheapest car insurance?

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I'm going on a road trip with my friend and we're wild and stupid. I'm not looking to hear your advice on the subject I'm smart enough to come to those conclusions on my own. However, I want to know what car insurance, would be the cheapest so that we may legally drive in every state. What kind of coverage would be required? How cheap can we get it down to? Thanks friends.

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://salecarinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Hit a car. How much insurance can go up?

Have good driving record for 3 years and with Progressive. How much insurance can go up if I hit a car and damage like this... http://www.whymagic.com/html/images/front_bl_before_lg.jpg http://www.whymagic.com/html/images/before-after/front_before_lg.jpg

Can parents get sued if I drive a car without insurance?

My mom tried to tell me that if I drive without insurance they would be sued because I live with them. I am 19 so I am a legal adult. The car is also in my name only. I think she was just talking out her *** personally, but now I am curious if that is even possible. Whatsoever.""

Can anyone recommend a good Classic/Collector Car insurance company?

I'm looking for reasonable terms/conditions and rates to insure a 1967 Chevy Chevelle. Anyone have any experience or recommendations for insurance companies specializing in classic cars? Thanks!

Car insurance after accident?

I am 18 and have been driving for 1 year, I used to drive as an additional driver on my Dads Renault Megane, I crashed it from spinning off and hitting a wall, luckily no one was hurt, I just had a few cuts from shattered glass. The police have arranged for me to have an interview next week to discuss the consequences, at the moment I have no convictions or anything on my licence, my Dad just bought me my own car and has said he'll pay for the insurance in full, it's quoted at 880 for a year if he pays in full, he was planning on paying in full in 2 days, I'm not trying to cheat the system, but if my dad pays in full and then I get a conviction after the transaction has been made, can the insurance company up my insurance considering I had no convictions at the time? I'm not trying to beat the system and cheat my way, I'm just curious as to what will happen. Thanks for taking the time to read!""

I have an insurance quote of 1300 for a punto 1.2 on a provisional licence?

if i take this quote what will happen when i get a full licence will it go up or down?

Will I considered to drive a car without insurance?

Hi. I been driving without insurance for months because my mom told me to wait until her insurance expired and will add me to her policy in june. My mom add me to her policy a few days ago and my car insurance will only start valid on june 2, 2013. Yesterday, I was pulled over and got a ticket. Will I considered to drive a car without insurance? My mom was very mad at me because I didn't get any ticket for months and not involve in any accidents and now only 10 days until my car insurance valid, I got a ticket. Please help, I don't want to have 2 violation case especially drive without car insurance""

What is the cheapest car insurance?

I'm going on a road trip with my friend and we're wild and stupid. I'm not looking to hear your advice on the subject I'm smart enough to come to those conclusions on my own. However, I want to know what car insurance, would be the cheapest so that we may legally drive in every state. What kind of coverage would be required? How cheap can we get it down to? Thanks friends.

Insurance problems with car theft?

a friend of mine is an american citizen living in Juarez, Mexico because of his wife is a Mexican citizen that can't cross until her papers are finalized.. So he works here and goes back to Juarez for the night and comes back in the morning.. the other day on his way home.. he stopped at the store and when he walked out.. someone stole his truck.. he called the police and reported a stolen truck but with no info given about himself or the truck, just merely a black suburban... now he's back in the states.. and wants to report it stolen here from a friends house or something... not at a store because walmart has video cameras in their parking lots.. so how can he proceed in doing this.. he doesn't want to cause insurance fraud but he has nothing left besides his truck.. if he tells the insurance company it was stolen across the border, there is no policy on where it was stolen, so Juarez, Mexico is out of their jurisdiction.. how can he do this without getting in trouble.. he's worried about the border itself.. because they snap a photo of you coming into the united states.. but do they snap a photo of you when they get out? any info on what he can do to help his situation would help so much.. thank you""

What is the cheapest insurance group?

I'm 17, girl, doing my driving lessons and am planning to get a car soon. Not bothered which car, i just want a cheap, affordable one. I've been hearing about insurance groups recently which is confusing me because no one around me can adequately explain it. So, i just would like to know what the cheeapest insurance group is and if you could also please explain a little more on insurance groups so that i'm a bit more informed.. thank you""

How can i find out Insurance rates on cars?

is there a certain website which can give me the average amount i need to pay for car insurance on certain cars.

How to transfer car loan to my name?

My boyfriend has gotten a dui recently and his insurance went up like crazy tripling how much he use to pay. To avoid paying for the high insurance rate for the next 4 or so years, he suggested that he transfer his Wachovia car loan to me. How do I go about to doing that? Do I contact Wachovia first? Do I then have to get a car loan from the bank for the remaining amount of his car? By the way, my credit score is excellent. Thanks your answers.""

How much would i pay for car insurance? Estimate?

I know that it depends on a lot of factors but can you estimate how much i would pay for car insurance on a monthly basis - I am 18 years old - will be driving either a 1999 or 2000 model - will be attending college after the summer - clear background - this will be my first car - I live in a very wired and exotic place called MARYLAND

How to get my car insurance in my name?

i am going to break up with my boyfriend, but my car insurance is in his name.i want to be independent , so how to get it over in my name. he refuse to help me out. did i mention how much i dislike him.""

What kind of health insurance do i apply for?

I have a one year old son and he has had medi-cal off on and they give me so many problems and i'm tired of him having medi-cal. I recently reapplied because they stopped it again, but this time i added his father on there since he has no type of medical insurance either.4 weeks went by and i haven't recieved anything in the mail so i call and ask what is going on. The lady was extremely rude to me and tells me they denied my application because they never recieved a packet that requested birth certificates,social securities, proof of income etc. And i tried to explain to her i never recieved the packet that requested any of that and that's why i was calling to let them know and she said well they already denied you so you need to apply again i'm tired of medi-cal my poor son deserves better.so i was wondering if anyone knew of something else i could apply for? it's just for my son and his father i'm still under my moms insurance so i don't need it but i have to apply for them since i'm the mother of my child obviously. We live off of $400 every 2 weeks and have other things to pay for.so please someone help!""

What is an average 16 year old car insurance bill?

Im am 16 years old bought a car sunday its a 96 240sx 2 door, and my mom is wondering how much my insurance would cost. And we are with allstate if that helps you guys.""

Short Term health care insurance plan in California?

I am looking to get insurance for a short period of time - 2 months. Which plan and provider be appropriate ?

Where do I find florida health insurance ?

I am looking for a health insurance quote for florida health insurance. I am looking for cheap florida health insurance.

Could anyone tell me if there are dui/dwi exclusions in states that have no-fault auto insurance?

Could anyone tell me if there are dui/dwi exclusions in states that have no-fault auto insurance?

Health insurance HELP!?

okay so hears the problem. im 19 just moved away from home no parental support pretty much on my own attending school and working full time. i need to find a cheap health plan any suggestions? no deductible? HELP PLEASE!!

""I lower my car insurance deductible a week ago, would the insurance company accept my claim today?""

Because of the bad snowy weather we been having, I recently lower my car deductible from $1000 to $250 . My car just sliped today and hit a curve. I took it to have it checked, and the shop told me it would be around $3000 to get the car fix. Would my insurance company think that i lower my deductible after the incident happened? Would they cover the damage? Should i wait before trying to file the claim?""

Cheap Car Insurance companies fo 17-20 year olds?

hey im 19 and just passed my driving test, and i can not find vheap enough car insurance, does anyone have any suggestions? thanks""

Does state farm insurance cover rental cars if you car gets stolen?

I do have full coverage on the car that was stolen ,but does rental coverage come standard on full coverage insurance?""

What is a cheap car insurance plan?

Im 19 years old and I live in New York. I am looking for an affordable car insurance plan. Any suggestions?

Does the insurance rate go up or more if I get my license?

Ok my mom and dad both have a car and they bought a car just for me. It already has insurance and license plate and everything. I'm planning on getting my license soon. So when I do would my dad have to pay for more money because of me driving it? I mean the insurance is on my dads name. Thx for replying.

How much extra would it be to go on my parents car insurance ?

at the moment my mother is paying 600 a year for car insurance, i was wondering how much extra it would be a year for me to go on her insurance. i am 18 year old girl living in england would it be cheaper for me to get my own insurance or go on hers ?""

Expat insurance - what kind of insurance is appropriate?

I traveled abroad for a year and got worldwide travel insurance. Then I decided to make the move permanent. I am living outside the EU and I'm wondering, surely travel insurance is inappropriate for a permanent move - what to other expats get to make sure they are covered against issues abroad? Thanks

Will a sex change from male to female result in lower car insurance?

Females have lower car insurance then males. So if a male gets a sex change does the car insurance company change their sex in their records and lower their car insurance?

Auto insurance quotes?

What website you recommend to get instant multiple quotes for multiple cars, without agent or a representative involvement?""

Car insurance help needed?

I'm 16 and a male and I need to find out how much insurance would cost on a 2000 Monte Carlo SS. I heard that pod grade help so I have roughly a 3.3 GPA in HS

What's the absolute cheapest car insurance company in Illinois?

What's the absolute cheapest car insurance company in Illinois?

Rough Insurance Quotes (Guesses welcome)?

I am first in line for several used cars I'm considering. The only thing I'm worried about are insurance rates. I'm only 19 and I've had my license for less than 6 months. I will be signed on with my parents, and they are with Geico. The three cars I'm considering are a 2000 Ford Mustang, a 2004 Honda Civic and a 2001 Kia Rio. How much would you guess it would cost me a month/year to insure?""

Which is the best homeowners insurance?

i live in california and im getting a home and now i need home insurance which is the best thanks

What is the cheapest car insurance?

I'm going on a road trip with my friend and we're wild and stupid. I'm not looking to hear your advice on the subject I'm smart enough to come to those conclusions on my own. However, I want to know what car insurance, would be the cheapest so that we may legally drive in every state. What kind of coverage would be required? How cheap can we get it down to? Thanks friends.

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