#I'm not sure I'm phrasing this correctly but this is as good as my brain is currently able to say this

[dasloddl]

this surely is the asexual™ website

#asexual #ace #asexuality #trending tag at spot 2? #as the only single sexuality that isn't (“just”) an umbrella term like queer/lgbtq... but their own sexuality #I'm not sure I'm phrasing this correctly but this is as good as my brain is currently able to say this #might edit this later tho; after I got enough sleep to think and talk properly again #thanks lunette3002 for alerting me that it sounded weird #op dasloddl

[sundays-wing-piercing]

Hello there! I've been reading through your works and i love how you write Sunday!!

If your requests are open, I wanted to ask something that takes place at the end of the 2.2 quest so if you haven't done it yet, no worries, you can just ignore this ask!

But if you have played through it… I started thinking about nameless! reader on that stage of the theatre, you know the one where MC and Sunday (who's in that gigantic robot) have that exchange "why does life slumber?" "Because… someday… we'll all wake up from our dreams!" "😮") and then the robot with Sunday inside starts falling off the suspended stage etc.

So, I started thinking about nameless! reader starting to weep, while the everyone else (I think it was the full express crew?) is still on that stage, because of everything that happened. Like sure everyone was exhausted and all that unfolded so far probably took a toll on them, so breaking down after everything is done is normal but for reader there's also something else as they see Sunday fall down (I guess figuratively, too) and regain lucidity after the madness he went through (partially related, but i read someone saying that Sunday ended up being controlled by Ena the Order just like how it happened eras ago before her fall and people exulted that she finally fell and the controlling order was no more).

Omg I'm sorry for the long ask 😅 if you even just read through it I'll be happy. Have a wonderful dayyy

Thank you for the ask!! Also, nuh uh don't apologize for yapping im a long text lover this made my day (stay yapping pooks) also out of topic but I love the way you described the last cutscene

Alright im sorry if I interpret this wrong but I think it's obvious the cause would be a feeling of empathy. So first maybe you're someone who's view is similar to that of Robin in which no matter how low a point gets as long as you're alive you'll still be able to get back up and be better. I hope I phrased it right but basically it's hopeful. Even after seeing this guy through his peak madness, his lowest point, something in you hopes for him to get a good ending. For the siblings to finally fly together and thus seeing him just fall like that, basically him giving up and accepting that he'll never be any better than this, you can't help but feel sad for this guy.

Not to mention the fact that after the whole grand theatre incident, Sunday was not only wanted but also missing (if I remember correctly, sry if im wrong) and you can't help but feel even worse as you see Robin desperate to get any info on his wellbeing. How even after all that, the siblings are yet again grieving. Their dream still far from their reach. The thought alone clouds your brain with nothing but sorrow as you cried for them.

Option two is something I thought about more is imagine you absolutely resonating with him. As he goes on with ideology and beliefs ("Everyday should be Sunday" -Sunday Oak) no matter how dehumanizing or flat out baffling they may be a small part of you agrees with him because you yourself have been in that situation, you once believed in the things he's saying, you were once in his position. But unlike Sunday, you've grown to take on a better mindset. Maybe your journeys as a nameless has helped you become a better person. Not immediately but that's alright, in the end you've made way bigger of a progress from what you started out as.

It's mostly the same as the first but this time it hits harder because it's not some baseless optimism. You yourself are a living proof of it. You can't help but feel guilty. But why? Just the sole fact that you both experienced a similar misery but ended with two endings that are opposite to one another makes you feel sorta crappy for simply being happy.

Both end with you praying to whichever Aeon hears your pleas as you wish mercy upon a fallen angel.

#Slowly starting to answer ask again pls let me take my time #No proofread so sry if its shitty #ai rants #hsr sunday #sunday hsr #honkai star rail x reader #hsr sunday x reader #sunday x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail sunday

[prongsie-kins]

part two of when i met you

this is a filo!james au revolving around james potter courting regulus black in a semi-traditional way

disclaimer: english is NOT my first language and not the type that this would be beautifully written but there might be some grammatical error i didn't notice while editing. also keep in mind that this is my first multichapter fic and im still trying to improve my writing

translations at the bottom

Previous | Next

without even knowing what love and life were all about

James didn't stop. Regulus doesn't think he plans to. Wherever he's going, James is just suddenly there. Pestering him. He didn't know how he always found him. Even in a hidden alcove that he thinks it was only him who knows about it then suddenly there's James. Writing his essay.

He even got the nerve to look surprised. "Wow Reg, didn't know you would be finding me here."

"You're getting suspicious." Regulus crossed his arms.

"Maybe I just wanted your attention." James cocks his head to the side and leaned back to the wall. "You know, you are not easy to erase from my mind. Just—tila ako'y nahulog sa mala bituin mong ganda."

Regulus just gave that baffled look, obviously not understanding a word he said. But that didn't stop him from replying. "I wasn't aware that you still have a brain."

"Hey!"

"Seriously," James snorted. "What do you want?"

"I already told you, liligawan kita."

"You think you're high and mighty 'cause I don't understand what you're saying?"

"Oh, I'm loving it."

"Va te faire foutre!"

—

"What does 'liligawan kita' means, Sirius?" Regulus asks his brother, hesitantly. Surely he knows some Filipino phrases since he lives with the Potters now. He didn't expect his already pale face to go paler.

"Did James tell you that?"

"He kept repeating it when I asked him what his pestering means," Regulus shrugs. Sirius temper is boiling now. That doesn't sound good.

"It's what Monty did to Effie," Sirius trails off. "Did he really say 'ligaw' to you?"

"That's how I learned to pronounce it correctly," Regulus deadpans.

"It means 'pissing you off'." Sirius' tone is biting now. "Excuse me for a moment. I need to find James."

He didn't even wait for Regulus' reply. He just marched away. That surely is an odd reaction. Does it really mean that? Was he really just pissing Regulus off?

Regulus didn't have to wait for an answer. James came barrelling to him as if he were being chased. "Hi Reg, let's head to the library?"

"You know I could tell Sirius where you are, don't you?"

"It's not as if you have a way to communicate this far to each other," James smirks. He grabbed Regulus' wrist and pulled him to the hall.

He did not, in fact, go to the library. They went to the greenhouse instead.

"This seems too peaceful to piss me off, Potter."

"I just have to show you something." He seems to be finding something. "Here!" He gestured at a chain of flowers that were pure white, small, dainty, star-shaped blossoms with a very heady scent.

This was the first time he saw a flower like that. It smells really good. "What's it called?"

"Sampaguita," James said, with a smile blooming on his face. "It symbolizes purity and fidelity. It's from back home—like in the Philippines. They usually use those flowers for saints."

"And you're showing me this...?" Regulus trails off, asking.

"You look quite like a saint." Regulus never expected a compliment. Especially from James who suddenly vowed he would piss him off. This is clearly not pissing Regulus off. Quite the opposite, really. He knew James could be a charmer but he didn't see himself on the receiving point. "I want you to keep it," James continues, not letting Regulus think of a reply to the compliment.

"How are you so sure I can take care of it?"

"Because I can't. Just keep it. It's charmed so that it doesn't wither as long as its owner is in lo..." James trailed off so quietly he didn't hear the last word.

"Um, okay. How can I trust you it's not a prank?" Regulus asks, skeptical.

"Trust me." He's not even hinting that it's a joke.

"If this turns out to be a prank I would ask Sirius to kill you in your sleep or I could kill you myself."

"Then I'll gladly die if it's you I would see last."

—

If James is thinking that compliments and flirting gestures would piss him off then he's not thought of that well. Regulus came to the dorm, the Sampaguita chain practically wrapped around his wrist

"Wicked smell! Is that a new weed?" Barty asked.

"No."

"What? You're making this dorm a mini Hufflepuff common room, is that it?"

"It's just a flower chain and I'm not." Regulus places the flower on his desk. "James gave it to me. Said he can't take care of it."

"Seems to me, he's giving that to you as a gift."

"He's trying to piss me off. This is probably a prank."

"Then why was it wrapped around your dainty little wrist like it's very dear to you?"

"Who knows what would happen if I ruined it? Drop it, Barty. I do not have a romantic relationship with James."

"I didn't say you have a relationship with 'James'," Barty quotes. "Since when were you on a first-name basis?"

"We're not. Merlin, stop being nosy."

"I hope you know what you're getting into," Pandora said suddenly. Since when was she in here?

"Have you been here all this time?" Regulus asks.

"You're too busy gawking at the flower James gave you." Pandora walks towards him and gently grabs his arm where the Sampaguita wraps snugly. "This is interesting. It smells lovely. Is this Sampaguita?"

"How do you know that?"

"You can't forget a flower that smells as good as this. Lily gave me a chain of this flower after her vacation." She delicately touched the flowers. "James is really sweet giving you this. Are you sure it's his motives?"

"Why would he give me flowers if not annoy me? That would probably do something in my sleep."

"I'd love to die with that scent," Pandora commented. "Seriously Reg, Are you certain about his motives? It's unusual that he gives flowers to someone he doesn't fancy."

"It's not just a flower. It's a whole fucking chain," Barty adds.

"Would you two just stop."

"Just saying," Barty teases. "You sure he doesn't fancy you."

"No." If his face is red, no one's going to dare to point it out.

———

Next

"tila ako'y nahulog sa mala bituin mong ganda" - seems like i fell for your star-like beauty

"liligawan kita" - i'll court you

"Va te faire foutre" - go fuck yourself

#jegulus #marauders #regulus black #starchaser #sunseeker #james potter #james potter x regulus black #filipino!james potter #james and regulus #james x regulus #james loves regulus #fanfic #marauders fanfiction #idek what to tag anymore #jegulus fanfiction

[sparring-spirals]

I am SO glad that I'm not the only one catching all these Calamity/Bell's Hells parallels that have been steadily piling on (if I interpreted some of your posts tonight correctly)

Okay, okay, listen. From a THEORY perspective I DO think theres some strong Calamity BH cross pollination crossover potential but I'll freely admit a lot of my posts are probably. me. joking about both. and trees. WITH LOVE. i do know people have active theories about the apogee solstice and the MOON and BETRAYER GODS and sadly im not sure i have the brains to claim any credit for those. 😅

from a more narrative perspective, though! yeah! def! Something about love and hopelessness and tragedy. Bad things that happen without a way to stop them and picking up the pieces and moving forward after. Seeing the worst happen and holding your hands out for your loved ones. idk. i think we've definitely got SOME overlapping themes, although i cant phrase anything too good just yet.

and also most importantly, FUCK A TREE. *blows into multiple noisemakers at once*

#critical role #cr spoilers #c3e37 #sorry if this is incoherent im still very excited #spar speaks #exu calamity #exandria unlimited #ask away! #speculation #?

[bahbahhh]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Tagged by @novantinuum and @marimbles. thanks friends! <3 I loved reading your responses.

__

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

ten!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

108,441

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Legend of Zelda. I like what I like. I have dabbled with FFX, too.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

the killing moon

begin again

desire path

like someone would

windows

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! Honestly, it means so much that people take time out of their day to let me know their thoughts/reactions to my stuff. I love the interaction, and I've shared this story before, but it was @embyrinitalics outreaching to let me know she enjoyed the killing moon (which had been on hiatus for YEARS) that help spring-boarded me into creativity again. A lot of these comments keep me motivated and energized, so I want to let people know I pay attention and care.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

LOL this is hard. Angst is my jam.

I'm tempted to say the Killing Moon but probably almost beautiful? It's the death memory from botw and it's a oneshot without any resolution whatsoever.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is a tie between begin again and desire path.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten some coldish comments, but not direct hate. I don't understand it. If you don't like something, just move on by? It's free content. It literally takes so much more of your previous energy to generate hate. Put it somewhere else. Find something else you actually like and pour love into that. Or as my kid's favorite book right bow Teeth are not for biting (send help) says "Try this instead: take a break, drink a cold drink, take a rest, get a hug!"

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have written ONE smut fit. I was possessed by an idea. It is not my wheelhouse for sure. It was porn with plotish and I had more fun with the dialogue between the side characters than the actual sexy stuff. And I'm me, so it was sexy yet depressing LOL

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I wrote a FFX x BotW oneshot a few years ago that I actually took off my ao3.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I am aware of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I am aware of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I feel like this would be fun with the right idea. I really like doing collabs for events.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Zelink!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I'm a little worried about currents. I love the idea in my head, but its very VERY specific writing and of course I started it right before linktober and now my brain is all about the depths au. It's hard for me to switch gears.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I love a good turn of phrase, man.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I get BIG ideas and a lot of them and a lot of the time, I get lost in them. This happened in The Killing Moon. Of course, it was my first stab at fanfiction and I decided to write a massive multichapter monster, and perhaps, that is evidence enough for you, but I had so many ideas for the story/conflict/direction and I didn't spend enough time organizing it and weeding out what I don't need. I think it translated okay because of the mystery leading up to TotK and the fact I was working with characters that were trying to make sense of lost, incomplete, and inconsistently reported history over 10,000 but

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I think the most important question a writer can ask themselves when doing this in a fic is "why am I doing this?" And then close follow up to that is "how can I do this correctly and respectfully?"

19. First fandom you wrote for?

LoZ

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

I really, really love like someone would. I love the complex characterization of Link and have carried it forward into other pieces. It's one big love letter to botw side quests and zelink and was also written in tribute to two of my favorite fanfiction pieces by others.

_

tagging: @embyrinitalics @fioreofthemarch @zeldaelmo @flutefemme

#ask game

[bonefall]

Because the wardens have such an easy access to their ancestors, do they become dependent on them? I'm not really sure how to phrase this correctly, but since talking to their ancestors and receiving godly answers is just a hop, a skip, and a jump away, do they go to Stoneteller for every little thing they are confused about? How do they function if they know everything that is going to happen? Or is it more like talking to a clan elder? You get their suggestions from their knowledge, but you don't have divine knowledge of the future, and then you make your own decisions from learning by their life lessons. I'm curious on how stoneteller would give the cats advice when you have tons of ancestors using you as a mouthpiece instead of vague omens.

I can totally imagine a clan cat having this exact conversation with a tribe cat that I can practically hear the response in my head. The tribe cat would be caught off-guard like,

"...does your grandpaw have divine knowledge of the future, cousin?"

"Umm... well, StarClan sends us signs--"

"Yeah my grandpaw sends me signs too, but does he actually tell you stuff about the future?"

"The signs-- well... the medicine cat interprets the signs, but yours can just talk to you! Don't they pass on the prophecies more directly?"

"Are you sure your ancestors are really seeing the future? Or are they just making you think they have a better idea than you do?"

".......Well I... never thought about that..."

"WAIT, wait, you don't even interpret your own signs?? Don't your wards only have ONE medic? What happens if they don't- doesn't your grandpaw send you a little sign now and then? Just so you know he's watching?"

And it would BLOW the Clan cat's mind. Anyway! Lemmie answer your questions more clearly;

Visiting Stoneteller

They could hypothetically go to Stoneteller for anything, but for the Stone Ward and Valley Ward, it's literally a hike. Not to mention that Stoneteller can only speak to one person at a time, and most Stonetellers will probably start losing patience with a "frequent flyer."

Besides, why would you need such a direct connection when your ancestors are all around you? For simple questions and life advice, Tribe cats probably just observe nature around them and try to find a sign when they need a little help deciding. There's also medics, elders, and family to help interpret signs or provide advice.

So... why go bother your ancestors so directly, unless it's very important? You have a whole Ward here to help you instead, living people who know and love you.

In fact, thinking about it, I could probably compare it to visiting a religious place. Church, temple, a shrine. Part of visiting Stoneteller may even just be an excuse to take that hike with someone in particular.

Is it more like talking to an elder or speaking to a divine being?

It's more like an Elder, Stoneteller is providing a really good seance. The Tribe of Endless Hunting HAS the capacity to provide prophecies just like StarClan, but unlike StarClan, they simply don't pass on vague and unhelpful ones

(or do the interpreting of the prophecy first instead of just hitting Fwd Email on a stinker like 'Remember That Water Can Quench Fire' and being like "OK it's the mortal plane's problem now LOL").

So you COULD make the hike to trivialize Stoneteller's marvelous ability to channel your ancestors... but IMAGINE the embarrassment of being chewed out by your dead grandpaw because he sent you like a million signs and you didn't catch a single one.

"You're no kitten, boy! You didn't see that I'm trying to tell you to pick Sunflower as your mate? Do you know how hard I worked to bring out SUNSHINE the SECOND SHE WALKED BY, boy?? I hope when your kits are born they inherit HER brains, you wet clod!!"

Then Stoneteller's like, "Oof. Anyway your grandmew is calling too, do you want-" "NO HAHA IM GOOD THANKS."

Or... on a worse, more somber note, your ancestors may even choose to not show up if you kept bothering them with useless questions, and then you can't speak to them when you truly do need them.

That would be a pretty hard blow to a Tribe cat, enough as a warning to discourage others from wasting Stoneteller's time. Sort of similar to the parable of the boy who cried wolf.

The Overwhelming Nature of it All

Having access to such an incredible resource makes it very normal to the Wards. It's just another option- and really, it doesn't take the punch out of the pain of life, either.

A kitten who just lost its dad could go to Stoneteller for comfort, to hear their father's voice again, but it's no replacement for the tom who teleported you to your nest when you got tired. You'll still miss him when it's cold, wish you could hear him sing you a song, wonder how many stories he was unable to tell you.

Later, you lost your best friend. You forgot that there was no one there to finish that hunting move that takes two, you're so used to her jumping out of the bush at the LAST minute for that dramatic flair and-- the mouse scuttled away. You can't bring Stoneteller on a hunting trip.

You feel a little better when you see your friend's favorite flower swaying in the breeze later, and you can visit Stoneteller to ask your dad what name he'd like for your coming kits, get the reassurance that they're still watching, but all the foresight in the world can't stop people from dying. Stoneteller can't truly bring them back.

You still, eventually, have to learn to live without them.

In Comparison to Clan Cats

StarClan is staying more distant and mysterious; and the Tribe of Endless Hunting can have some of the more casual aspects of the later books.

I wrote a post a while back on how clan cats also do invoke specific ancestors for strength in the rewrite. You can think of that a lot more like Catholicism, a direct prayer to a patron who is themselves an envoy of a higher power, with an ordained religious figure in medicine cats. A clearer hierarchy.

In contrast, the Tribe is much closer to a sort of soft Protestantism. Stoneteller can make your ancestors more clear, but you foster that relationship with religion within yourself, observing the world around you for signs.

Lastly, I would actually like for the dynamic between the Tribe and the Clans to remain that sometimes Clan cats visit the Tribe for religious help, and also, the Tribe occasionally requests the Clans for physical help.

But I want these two entities to be equal in that relationship; unlike the books where the Tribe has help forced onto them and clan cats stumble into personal growth as a result.

#Bonefall Rewrite #tribe of rushing water #The Tribe of Rushing Water #the tribe of endless hunting #tribe of endless hunting #Warrior cats #religion

[re-coding]

I make a stupid decision to decide to make a (fic) writing app, cheers

Well now, I know there's like tons of them out there in the market. A lot of them are good! And even free (or have pretty good free versions)! A reddit thread I found have a few very good ones, you guys can check it out! (I'll add my own two cents later :3)

But look, the only thing I want to do, is to have a place when I can throw my ideas into a list (like what I'm did in my notes app) then auto convert it to a document when I feel like I want to write it. None of them (or at least, what I saw/found) have it!

To do that, I set up a Google Form-Google Sheets system so I can just fill in the form when I get some thoughts™. Then when I feel like I want to add another WIP to my ever-growing list of WIPs, I'll just open the associated sheet, see what idea I would like to write, then create a Google Docs and copy/paste the idea there.

Easy, right? Problem solved?

No, not really. For me, there're a few problems with this.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The Problem(s)™

The process of opening Google Forms takes forever to load (depending on my Internet) and I have a goldfish memory. What are the odds that I forget my ideas by then.

(Just use phone notes app then) But I'm in the mood to type my fic in a computer 😔😔 I don't wanna copy my prompt there to a doc via phone, or worse, retype it out. There's like 4 steps there at least! I'll lose my motivation by then!

Google Sheets has this problem where the text refuses to wrap properly if you add a long text (my ideas are sometimes a few hundred words of rambling y'know). So whenever I decided to grace the sheet with my presence, I'll need to reformat the wrap if I wanna read what I wrote. That's 1 whole extra step.

I'll need to open at least two tabs here, 1. my sheet file, 2. open a new docs file

Look, they're all pretty minor inconveniences imo, but I'm 1. a lazy mf and 2. a tired mf

So, I made a decision any sane person with a job and 0-energy would do - I thought "Hey, why don't I make my own?".

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

And thus begin the brain-storming

Ok, look I'm not that good at UX/UI designing. I figure that should be the first step so I went and watch a few video and stumbled upon Juxtopposed's world's shortest UI/UX design course (it's pretty great, do check it out!). Simple, quick, concise - perfect.

First, I started with designing the user flow. I planned out a general idea of what I want my app to do and how it would flow from there starting from the landing all the way to when users save their work and exit the app.

Boy, I sure hope I did that correctly.

This generally is made up of user actions (except for landing). You may notice how it's mostly AO3 focused because yes, I'm using this just for AO3 - as in I stopped using fanfiction.net, Wattpad and Quotev a long time ago.

I did get some inspirations for some of the features from other existing apps. Like:

Scriever - it's paid, but most people say it's a godsend but personally, I've never tried it. I think it pioneered the scenes idea tho.

Manuskript - Free open-sourced version of Scriever basically! They also have words and phrase frequency analyser and I think that's pretty neat!

MyStory.today - I like the idea that you can edit and view multiple scenes at once but the writing UI itself feels kinda clunky? It feels bothersome to add a new scene below my current one. But free version is enough and that's pretty nice. Oh yeah, not sure if it's just me, or it's kinda laggy

Wavemaker - ok this actually a great one! Everyone should give it a chance! But again, too complicated to just add one simple idea when I just wake up for instance.

Story Plotter - This one is nice. It actually have a idea to story button but, why are there... so many things... to choose before I can start writing the story. Granted, all of them are optional and you can just spam skip... a whole 7 times (unless it's a freeform, in that case, 4 times). But this provides a nice idea to combine more than 1 ideas into one plot tho. Also, not my style

Campfire - Is nice, there's so much things you can customize! But well, the free version can be quite limiting, like what if I need more than 25k words :(

Notion - Ok, here me out, it's not a great idea to write multi-chapters long fics here exactly without some amount of setting up too. BUT I love the markdown system here and I wanted to include it.

Do try some of them out, maybe you'll find your new writing app soulmate, who knows?

So... about the user flow diagram

I'm making this app because of two main features, ok maybe three, that I want to make my life easier and make me happier.

The ideas being converted and directly stored in my writing doc.

Being able to use markdowns to type unlike google docs *squint eyes*

Copying the whole chapter in HTML so I can just throw it in AO3 and click update without worrying about forgetting the formatting OR having to go to those docs to HTML converters.

And a secret fourth thing to maaaaaybe include things like chats, boxes, and other workskin related things

Oh, yes and how could I forgot, syncing progress across multiple devices

So I want to implement auto-save features (well, at least when you're connected to the internet, else it'll save locally first). The database I'm thinking to store these should be the user's own google drive (but that would required the user to sign in to their drive first).

Inversely, I'm thinking if the user did edit the doc in the drive, it should reflect in the app too, so I'll need to think about that. But the idea is that one chapter should be stored in one doc, and then separated by a scene separator symbol (I'll figure this out) to break it into scenes in the actual app. That may be a bit messy to edit in docs though so maybe a traditional folder + docs might suffice but then, there's also a space constraint, where there is too much scenes. That's probably where the web services come in.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

And, oh! another diagram!

Ok look, the user flow made perfect sense to me while I was making it. After looking at it again while writing this... In hindsight, I should also make a screen/page flow diagram, or sitemap, so here it is! So- ta-da~!

So this should be the whole flow of screens for the app. There may be more screens in the future but for now I think this should be it!

The app mainly just consist of -

The home page - which displays ALL your works/books

The ideas page - which is basically my notes app for, well, ideas, word vomit, random shower thoughts about how much you want a fictional character to be xxx

The writing page - which will be the main working space, the rest of the pages like references, characters, places, timeline, chapters and individual scenes can be accessed easily from this page too

The profile page - well, it's your profile! Access your profile settings, change themes, work space settings or what you want to copy in your html here - maybe add friends for collabs and betas in the future? We'll see

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

And that's it! ...For now

Oh my god, I'll admit, this post went on longer than I expected haha. That's all that I have to share for now! Next up, I'll get started on the wireframing process (moodboards? hunting down apps? reddit???? ok nevermind, reddit sounds like a bad idea). I know I kept calling it app, but I think I want it to have an app, windows, (macs?) and web version.

Thanks for making it this far and reading it all!

#writing app #app planning #app development #fic writing #writing tools #brainstorming #userexperience #user interface #app ideas #this is me procrastinating #on actually doing my wips

[deep-hearts-core]

1997

IT'S IRELAND TIME. well, not quite yet. but it is in that this is the last time they hosted the contest and also they scored second.

Cyprus Not bad & not a bad start. I don't have too much to say about it beyond the fact that I don't think it's bad. It's simultaneously very 90s Eurovision while also, I feel, laying the groundwork for the 00s entries to come. I've definitely heard bits of the chorus in compilation videos before.

Turkey Whoa, that was NOT how I was expecting the verses to sound based on that chorus. But they're really beautiful. S,ebnem knows how to use her voice and sings in a way that makes her ring through the arena, almost, I can almost hear it, during those gorgeously empty sections where it's just her and the drum. Maybe I might have my year winner already. This is GOOD. She looks good, she sounds good.

Norway I like a lot of the more upbeat country from this era, and there are parts of this that I like - like the harmonies and everyone playing the guitars. But it's not clicking. I don't think I like his voice, and for some reason my brain keeps trying to parse the Norwegian phrases as English and that's confusing me. Although that's not really the guy's fault.

Austria Loving the dance routine. It's well-executed and fitting to the song. She sounds good, too. Although, I don't love the outfits, and... I feel terrible for saying this but Bettina just looks old. She looks like a helicopter parent going to Zumba.

Ireland This song is just so 90s. I get why it scored well when it did, but I'm watching this from 2023, as someone who wasn't even born yet in 1997. It's SO of its time that I just cannot get into it. I bet my mom would like this song.

block ranking: Turkey > Cyprus > Austria > Norway > Ireland. this is a new thing i'm gonna try out for these 20+ song contests because I struggle with remembering everything and cut my watching into pomodoro-style blocks with breaks in between (i'm gonna go make some tea before SLO->ESP).

Slovenia It's just poorly constructed. I don't like the way the notes fit together.

Switzerland This, by contrast, is an alright song (backing singers did well!) but I dislike Barbara's voice a great deal.

Netherlands Yall know I love a good girl band. This is, at least, a middle of the road girl band. They're clearly having fun and I vibe with the verses (especially the last phrase before the chorus in each verse), and the chord progressions. However, the rhythm of the title lyric goes too quickly. This one also falls victim to the "too many wide shots" thing that absolutely drives me crazy.

Italy Alright, so one of the things I've noticed lately, singing in a barbershop quartet format (this is relevant, bear with me), is that head voice is a lot harder to tune, especially when vibrato slips in. This woman has that problem. She sounds good, but she's also above the rest of the music, just slightly. Also the beginning was weird and took me by surprise for some reason. Everything else was pretty good, though. Not my fave song ever but a solid 90s entry.

Spain And this one just bores me to tears. No personality to it. Sorry, Spain.

Block ranking: Italy > Netherlands > Slovenia > Switzerland > Spain.

Germany Conflicting feelings here. I enjoyed it, but also it feels dated, but also the beginning of the chorus is really good, but also I'm not sure if I like her voice or not, but also that outfit is queer af by today's standards and I kind of love it.

Poland Chorus is a little messy, but the song feels original and it has the perfect amount of sass for a song titled, if I'm understanding the Polish correctly, "But I Am". I love it. My only real complaint is that if the lady from Jalisse was slightly over the notes, Anna Maria is slightly under them.

Estonia This is a lovely subtle song, and Maarja-Liis Ilus has a sweet, very young sounding voice that is satisfying to me personally. However this is slightly to her detriment, because I feel like she kept trying to be just a little bit sexy and it just didn't work because she sounds like a seventeen year old trying to be sexy.

B&H I love love love the instrumental in these verses. They give me the vibes of the Yael Naim, Ingrid Michaelson type music I listened to in middle school. However with an instrumental like that the singer, I feel, needs to be a little smoother in tone (like Ingrid Michaelson or Yael Naim). And the chorus didn't fit with that instrumental at all. I was really enjoying it until the chorus kicked in and then suddenly it was a totally different vibe.

Portugal Distracted entirely by the fact that her backup singers are straight out of The Matrix.

Block ranking: Poland > Estonia > Germany > B&H > Portugal.

Sweden It's just kinda frenetic. It doesn't fit together and the rhythms in the instrumental are too fast. It's really not bad but... idk. Maybe i'm only saying that it's not bad because I have a certain affection for Swedish entries before their "scary success" era.

Greece The return of the hand cymbals! Eh, this one's okay. It's very Greek.

Malta Very pretty song, although she does run into the lady from Jalisse's head voice issue a couple of times herself. Or maybe her head voice is just a little shrill timbre-wise and that's just how my tired headache-having brain is interpreting it rn lol. But that dress though. Barbara Dex much?

Hungary While "Hungary goes Backstreet" is already not really my thing, this entry is further sunk by the fact that none of these guys are particularly great singers. I'll give them this, though: there's a cool shot in here where the singers are shot from behind and you can see the audience and a light kinda runs over the spectators. That looked pretty cool.

Russia Russia almost never sends things like this. But then again, this was fairly early in their participation, wasn't it. While it's not my speed, Alla definitely embodies the Primadonna title. She carries herself just like an aging leading lady. A good fit for the song.

Block ranking: Greece > Russia > Malta > Sweden > Hungary

Denmark We didn't need this. It sounds okay but like. Listen. Okay, these days I'm less of a hater of rap in Eurovision, but that's also because it's gotten better over the years. This 40something Danish man I don't think knows really how to rap well. And the dancers and the school aesthetic were def too much.

France It doesn't leave much of an impression, although I do enjoy listening to it. Mostly what I get out of this is that the singer is very young.

Croatia Heavy sigh. It's a no from me. They don't sound great, the outfits suck, and I'm no huge fan of [rifles through genres they used on Produce 101] new jack swing? Is that what this is?

UK It ain't no Walking On Sunshine, but it's still damn good. There's just this swell to it, this movement and push and growth, that feels like it's getting the song's message across. There's something in the composition that, when you listen to it, feels like love.

Iceland Gay rights I guess? Vampire rights also? It's so Eurodance (which I don't really like) and the mixing was off, I can't hear him very well. But gay rights, I guess.

ok sorter time!!!

My top 25 1)Turkey 2)Poland 3)UK 4)Italy 5)Germany 6)Cyprus 7)Estonia 8)Netherlands 9)Russia 10)Greece 11)Ireland 12)Norway 13)France 14)Switzerland 15)Malta 16)Austria 17)B&H 18)Slovenia 19)Portugal 20)Spain 21)Sweden 22)Iceland 23)Hungary 24)Denmark 25)Croatia

Miscellaneous thoughts I really enjoy the messages from past winners and other contestants that they played after every other performance. Best one was probably Niamh Kavanagh telling Linda Martin, "it's your fault, you started it" and Linda responding, "well, you gave them the heart attack the next year." Obsessed with how messy that winner's recap was. Katrina got the words wrong! The tambourines were off rhythm! It was endearing. I also love how multilingual this contest was. Not only English and French but a solid amount of Irish in there. I suspect we'll see less and less English as we go further back in time.

#esc reviews

[lordlexion]

Omg you interacted with a post of mine and I saw your icon and thought "ew, another old white guy? hate that we gotta share the fandom with them but i'll check his blog he might be one of the good ones" and so I went to your blog and saw you're 20yo and realised that despite the pic being casual this must mean it was someone I should probably recognise so I had a good look at it and my brain did vaguely place him in tng (for a moment I thought it might be brent spiner 😔) but could not identify him with certainty so I actually image searched and in summary I am sooo sorry sir patrick, I genuinely didn't realise you were able to exist in the proximity of hair

I'm sorry but I laughed so much at this. Your massage made my day, really.

I get the confusion Picard + Hair is almost impossible to imagine. And if I remember correctly this hair is from star trek (he was supposed to have hair in whole tng but we all know how this resolved).

And to be honest I never thought that some one would think about me as "another old white guy" (I love this phrase). For sure I have soul of old man but this doesn't really correspond with my actual state.

#I'm still laughing my ass off #I don't know who you're but thank you for making my day #anonim #not a reblog #my face hurt from smiling so much #I'm ftm

[sysig]

It’s all Fanfic silliness if you back up far enough (Patreon)

#Doodles #It all comes back to fanfics! #Well at least words and reading and writing - mostly fanfics anyway lol #I wanted to finish Animorphs 14 before reading any more fanfic stuff since the digital versions are always more difficult to get through #Physical copies? I will eat those in like four days and that's when I'm pacing myself #So that I don't run out too quickly :') #Admittedly I was able to get through an Animorphs book just by reading before bed in about three days until I got sleepy #So I'd say that's a pretty good average #But anyway!! I finished 14 which meant that opened the floodgate lol #I was going to draw myself lolling around in the feels because ow ♥ But I was too busy crying and doing other things lol #Mostly being inspired and then getting distracted with writing #I had already started working on the SCII fic again by that point - I remember because I was like ''How am I gonna write ;;'' lol #And then I wrote more and it was fine pfft #Which the last one is about ♪ Very indulgently using specific phrasing because I like it so much #DAX's ''So you say'' means everything to me ♥ #I'm pretty sure I used it correctly lol but even if I didn't I wanted to use it so badly!! I love it #I'm planning on writing some Behind the Scenes/Making Of stuff too but who knows when I'll finish that lol #Hopefully soon! I'm finally back up and running after all my brains fell out my ear from finishing it lol

[idrellegames]

okok so do you have any tips when it comes to developing architecture? i'm not sure if i phrased that correctly. like how do you know what you want the building and such to look like? i've been researching different styles and nothing seems to fit.

also i love your game! thank you so much for taking it out of your brain and showing it to us.

Oh, that's a good question! I love architecture and environmental details. Knowing what surrounds the characters and how they're moving through their environment is often just as important as what they're doing.

I'll be honest, I draw on my theatre background a lot for envisioning space, so this might not be too helpful. 😅 I'm an incredibly visual person, so I can typically imagine what the space around the characters looks like and how they move through the scene (I'm basically blocking everything as I go, as if I were directing), even if all those details never make it into the text itself. That informs how I do description and what details I end up putting into the scene in terms of buildings and surroundings.

I'll usually pretty thoroughly research different references for the location the scene takes place in. Sometimes I'll make a board for visual references, sometimes it'll just be jotting details down. When I'm researching, I'll often look into how certain styles came about and the importance they had to the culture that created them. Knowing why people designed or made things the way they did and the functional purpose they served is good knowledge to have (especially if you're drawing on ancient architecture for inspiration). It'll inform your writing, even if you never directly reference it.

#on writing #answered

[fcntasmas-archive]

I don't believe you've ever had a problem translating anything correctly in Spanish, lol. I've read your work. I think you're fine

i'm -- not sure how you intended this to come off, and i'm not even sure what prompted this ask at all? like, i'm really wracking my brain to try and make sense of this ask, but, like. it's not computing. whatever you meant by this, i will say this: my first language is spanish. the language i learned at school is english. both of these languages are a part of me, and because of the way i grew up (with spanish at home and english at school), i tend to confuse words/phrases/etc in both languages. i'll struggle with my spanish sometimes. i'll struggle with my english sometimes. it's just a thing that happens. i'm self-conscious to speak in either language sometimes. i grew up thinking either my english wasn't good enough, or that my spanish wasn't good enough. these are insecurities i struggle with even today. idk what you're trying to get at with this but i'm ngl it kind of left a bad taste in my mouth, so i'll say this: what someone does or doesn't have a problem with is neither your business nor something you can just know by "reading their work". i don't think you understand the struggle it takes for someone to translate something in their head from one language to another. and this goes both ways with me. i'll forget words in spanish and have a hard time translating. i'll forget words in english and do the same thing. anyway! you don't get to tell someone how to feel about their insecurities and while i'm at it, maybe just stop commenting on people's, like, general lives when you don't know them. and please! feel free to just. skedaddle out of my ask box <3

#answered #anonymous #discourse #idk i had a conversation with my mom last week about this #so maybe i'm not in the Greatest place about this #but your tone did not come off as anything but condescending so #?????

[rinisbowen]

Hey, first just wanted to say that I love your blog and your analysis of the show so much! ❤

I was wondering if you had an opinion about Ricky's feelings towards Gina: do you think he knew what she meant in the flashback scene or do you think it all went over his head?

I think alot of people want Ricky to remain oblivious ,so that it can't be said that he deliberately hurt Gina, but I think it would make a much more nuanced and interesting plot if he understood how she felt the whole time, but had no idea how to handle these feelings (especially if he correctly assumed that she never would have confessed to him if she thought she might ever see him again.)

I think alot of his behaviour towards her in season 2 could be read as him trying wayy too hard to imitate the dynamic they had in season 1 to avoid having to talk about the new developments in their relationship (e.g. with all the awkward banter in season 2 episode 3.)

Only thing is I have no way to fit the "if we were dating" comment into this narrative. If he had any inkling of how she felt then that comment was way out of line and would make me dislike Ricky, but based on the rest of the season as a whole I can't think of any explanation for the way he acted towards her other than that he was aware of how she felt.

Hope this ask makes sense, feel like it got a bit rambly! 😊

hi oh my gosh anon you are genuinely the sweetest. thank you for your kind words, and the ask itself. i feel like i'm in an odd place with my thoughts bc things are quite polarized in this fandom and i- sorta try not to be? but i'm thankful you appreciate my thoughts and such :)

(also yes you absolutely made sense, luckily my brain works in a very rambly way- so i think i do get what you mean haha. y'all should see the state of these answers before i cut them down.)

--

if you're asking just whether i have an opinion as to whether ricky took gina's confession for what it was- i'm really not sure what i think here.

i 100% understand why ricky not understanding what gina meant by "i wouldn't quit on us" is very appealing to rina shippers especially, along with people who just tend to see the good in ricky as a character. people probably ought to start giving all of these kids the benefit of the doubt a little bit more haha, but that's just me. 

--

i don’t know if it all necessarily went over his head, but i think it’s not a bad guess considering his history of being more than a bit oblivious to things in a more general sense. 

i think your idea is really quite interesting, because it doesn’t seem out of line 100% with anything that happened. him trying to protect her from the fallout of something she probably wasn’t planning to do under the circumstances. him internally deciding it was better to just pretend it never happened because he figured that was better for gina. 

and besides, he loves nini, he just got back together with her, so it’s no big deal for him, no sweat off his back. 

i think regardless of whether he understood her confession he didn’t mean to deliberately hurt her, and i don’t think that should be as much of a hot take as it maybe is. 

i think in this context you suggest, ricky’s maybe confused about how he’s supposed to behave with her, like you say about ‘awkward’, because it’s on some levels true that their “friendship” in season 1 was tinged with something beyond that, and how do you not send your friend the wrong message when you very much have a girlfriend but also your friend apparently likes you. but i do think the same behavior can be explained under the “he didn’t get it” circumstance, i’ll just save that for now to avoid this getting too long.

--

i know the “if we were dating” is what gets him the most negative energy. i get why, it’s a downright stupid way to phrase it to a girl who likes him. particularly if he’s aware she likes him. 

but does it have to make you (or anyone) dislike him? 

i really don’t think it was that serious for him that it’s worth hating him for. to gina? yes, it’s what allows her the opportunity to set a boundary with him for the first time. that’s a big deal for her character arc! this sorta comes back to a point i make at the end of this post about the rina thing in season 2 not being about ricky. it doesn’t actually matter what he means or what he feels. 

but in a broader context, it’s a mere slip of the tongue. ricky’s just trying to ask her advice on something he’s puzzling over, and he’s using an example. like- he’s not trying to imply a single thing by his words there, as is clear by his little “obviously”. it’s obvious that ricky here is just thinking out loud, he’s just like so put yourself in nini’s shoes. “if we were dating”. for all he knows she’s totally fine giving him advice on nini. she did so freely twice now, without his asking. i get that it’s the wording the fandom gets most angry about, and not the asking as much, though that too a good bit, but- the wording is just that... wording. 

it’s careless not malicious. and yes, that matters if you’re looking at it from a should we hate ricky perspective. the answer to that is firmly no. you’re supposed to be proud of gina for shutting him down, because that’s the right step in her journey, but at the end of the day he’s a dumb teenage boy who has no idea he’s hurting her with his words. (which is true regardless of whether he understood her confession. the way tim’s talked about this has been to say he’s like this oblivious teenage boy who just doesn’t get what he’s doing to you.)

we see everything about this framed from the perspective of gina liking him, but whether he knew she did (and that’s for all he knows she doesn’t anymore since he’s with nini), it doesn’t make him a bad person for asking advice in a way that unintentionally hurts her. we can’t all sit here and pretend to personally have never accidentally phrased something in a bad way and hurt someone’s feelings. 

--

i also admittedly don't think it matters a ton whether or not he understood, because the point of the whole thing was solely about gina and not about him. most of the "rin.a arc" in season 2, if not all of it, was entirely about gina. i could get into this perspective another time if anyone wanted me to elaborate, but yeah. just food for thought. what mattered was that to gina, that was a confession, and that he then continued on to act normally.

i tend to think of random things like this while i'm going along trying to answer this stuff, stream of consciousness and all that haha.

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts: analysis #hsmtmts: gina porter #hsmtmts: ricky bowen #answered #anonymous #in defense of ricky bowen #//this became a bit rambly but when don't i to be fair #//but yeah i think people miss a lot of nuance about ricky's character sometimes particularly through the ship war goggles #//like yeah it was a dumb thing to say that doesn't mean we have to crucify him for it #//all the characters have their moments and everyone loves them and yet ricky as a protagonist gets all this flack for messing up sometimes

[calpalsworld]

Not "autistic anon," but also autistic, (being called maybe ableist made me want to put this out there before go to bed) i thought Zane was depicted that way purposefully by the writers. He has stereotypical traits like taking things literally, and has an actual humor switch. The writers have done things with Zane before like have him lose bodily autonomy (during that one Wu's teas short) and did something with his voice be it making him unable to be understood or talking too loud and the forced pirate voice by Jay. (what you're doing isn't too different from that, right?) I thought it was just a little iffy to distort his body and memory bc that could be interpreted as something not that I'm sure what exactly, it's some kind of disability. I dunno. I'm not good with putting this to words. I hope this makes sense.

Sorry I went to bed but now I’m awake 😭

Also I ended up totally spilling all my thoughts here rather than only specifically replying to you please forgive me context: my scary zane concept design, & my ninjago rewrite i refer to a lot 

Im a little confused but I think I get what you're saying? You're saying the Ninjago writers absolutely DON'T write Zane well (you listed examples of this) and you don't want me to fall into the same trap?

I had the opposite logic earlier. I thought: If Ninjago writers made Zane have stereotypical autisitic traits while also being a dehumanized robot, I may as well embrace it, say he is autistic blatantly, while also making him do funny/cool non-human robot things, so its clear as possible the two aspects of his character are literal and separate and not a metaphor for each other. But you're right! I do have a choice and I dont have to embrace things! :)

Like there were a couple ways I was gonna reject the original, for example, I never wanted Zane to have a funny switch, and I hated how other characters could fuck with Zane and he didn't even care 😬. I want to change that stuff. So youre right, if I am changing shit like that, it would be counterproductive for ME to GIVE him MORE traits along that theme. 😬😬😬 I should try to feel less obligated to portray Zane like he originally is. I still like the concept of "scary zane" (for reasons i explain below the cut) but I might tone it down a bit like with the claws and weird proportions and shit. I’d def make him look more skeletal and undead. That was my original intention, but i didnt execute it as good as I could have.... idk if anyone could tell thats what he was supposed to be like...my bad! But rn I dont wanna redesign him I wanna draw other stuff like normal alive Zane. Sorry LMAO 😳. Like I said in some earlier asks I think, I think Im gonna focus rn on how I should portray season 1 normal not dead Zane so thank you and feel free to share any other Zane thoughts ^_^ SOME OTHER THOUGHTS:

Also I Wanna Argue Some Stuff But I Understand its a Weak Argument Since All of This Context was Just In My Brain (so don't take this as an argument, just as me rambling): I don't want messed up things to happen to Zane and for it to just be ignored. I think if Zane is going to have fucked up things happen to him, as all characters must, its best for it to happen during a season where he actually addresses his feelings about being a robot (learning to accept that he will always be himself, regardless if hes "human" or the "original" or whatever. (thats how I always interpreted his emotions)). But I wouldn't have the other Ninja be very phased by Zane's looks because the whole point is they already love who he is (seasons 1-3 were about getting to know Zane) and now Zane himself just has to learn the physical, robot part of him is okay. Its about person-hood rather than humanity. Because the season focuses around Zane's soul, and because he lost his original body, I feel like I could mess around with his current, temporary body and have fun and make it scary. Because that body should be irrelevant. I understand it possibly being upsetting for an autistic character to be designed like this, but other people I talked to see it the opposite way. They find it comforting for him to look so different but still be himself and be so loved. SO IM ABSOLUTELY NOT saying its wrong to be bothered or to hate it or to feel any way. Just that I personally think it would be cool for Zane to be portrayed with a little spice lol, so thats why I like scary Zane for season 4.

Another Thing I Wannna Say But Is REALLY Hypocritical: (this isnt directed at anyone I just REALLY want to say this) I know I say "this is Zane but scary, he looks like fnaf" so he's obviously dehumanized, but I always felt like "scary" is more of an objective fact. Its an instinct. But what's "not human" is subjective. I think there is a problem with saying anything different from "average" human is dehumanized because that could extend to real people. Lol I know its bad for me to compare FNAF-ass Zane to real people, but I mean he could be real. People can have exposed teeth, and people can be shaped weird. And when someone first sees a person who looks like that they'll probably think "woah those features are scary" by instinct. And that surprise doesn't make someone ableist obviously. But bring that person’s humanity into question is NOT an instinct, and is fucked to shit. This is kinda a bad point for me to make since its about the fictional FNAF Zane I drew, and I am NOT implying ANYONE was thinking like this. [especially not the original asker anon who I am totally forgetting about at this point OOPS]. But I just thought it was an opinion of mine I couldn't go without mentioning when talking about dehumanization and disabilities.

^^^ I think you (anon) understand what I mean and might’ve said the exact same thing as me if you were writing a long ass response? I think this because you started to bring physical disabilities up and you said it was "a little iffy." ^_^ So we agree, but I don't see Zane's relation to real life disabilities as "a little iffy" I see it more like "complicated"? IF THAT DIFFERENCE EVEN MAKES ANY SENSE?????? I feel like a lot of things about Zane are really just complicated and need the right context, rather than the concepts necessarily being wrong -- NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT! THATS THE WHOLE REASON I DO THIS STUPID REWRITE! XD thats why a lot of my rewrite SO FAR has been the same concepts and plot beats, but different dialogue n specifics and such. I like a lot of concepts in Ninjago but I dont think they were presented correctly.....! :( So I guess all we can do is wait and see if I make Zane offensive or not....???

Also something about the memory part - yeah i agree i was surprised no one thought that was weird to make jokes out of his memory issues..... BUT I am like 100% firm on making his memory take longer to come back because I think its stupid how quick Zane was able to recover from literally dying. Like its just dumb to me. Hate it. (also bc memory & soul mechanics is ummm kinda important in my rewrite.... for reasons). Another memory thing btw, I was going to make his original amnesia come from hitting his head in an attack against the Skulkin when they stole his dads corpse, rather than his dad fucking choosing to make him forget. (its a sweet & iconic scene, but Um, WHY?!!!?!?!?!?) He has to follow data recovery instructions he finds in his dads diary. I think in that context it makes moments of memory loss somewhat different for Zane's character? Instead of loss of autonomy associated with disability, its a literal violent loss of autonomy associated with being traumatized by physical force. Idk how to phrase it exactly but I think that makes some vibes different?

Sorry, I think I got really distracted, and I don't know if I responded well to your points. Because uhhhh I think I agree with your stance actually? If I understand correctly? Fuck Ninjago writers for making the robot lose autonomy (a stereotypical robot theme) while also making him seem clearly autistic (NOT A HAPPY THEME FOR AUTISTIC PEOPLE) and not addressing it. And also auuugh Zane with a weird body is a difficult topic - kinda sussy pretty iffy.

Lol anyway idk if this made any sense and I REALLY rambled on you. but this was nice 👉👈 more Zane criticism pls love you and i love zane. i hope u dont feel mad at me because then it would be weird that im saying that lol. if you do feel mad at me tho you can send another ask (ILL TRY TO JUST LISTEN NOT RAMBLE NEXT TIME) but assuming ur chill rn, love you thnx

Take this page, don’t mind cole’s ass.

[belovedstill]

hi!! i have a question... i saw your reblog about freewriting and i wanted to try it myself cause i have a hard time with writing because of my anxiety but i'm not sure i understood 100%. what do you actually write while you freewrite? is it related to what you're working on at the moment, like do you freewrite a scene (kind of like sprinting in a way) or just random words/thoughts in your head?

hi <3 i understand you 100% because sometimes (most of the time) when i sit down with the intention to write, my brain subconsciously goes "okay, the pressure's ON, everything i write must be useful for the fic" (and then i go "wait, @ brain, what fic? i don't even know what fic i would write, i just want to write" and brain says "it must be useful for the fic" (which btw doesn't help, thanks @ brain but no thanks))

i will start by honestly saying that while I've been doing this for many years, I've never had a word for it. If my memory's right, then I've never heard the term "freewriting" before. I'd either call it stream of consciousness or messaging a friend or word vomit or scribbling

(i'm going to share some photos & screenshots as examples because i personally appreciate examples for things i don't know how to even start doing; i'll include content warnings above the photos wherever applicable. These things were not meant to be seen by other people, obviously, so not all of them are neat, not all of them are in English or spelled correctly, and not all of them make sense, some might not even be Socially Acceptable (i'm very anxious as well, you see, so I ask people to be kind if you do take a look at the examples and decipher what's written), but that's the whole point of these: you let your mind go without worrying about where it's going)

I'm sure every person who does freewriting does it differently but here are several ways i do it (under the cut because it got very long as i pretty much (ayyyy) freewrote it):

test a pen/pencil! you know when you get a new pen and write down the most random thing on a piece of paper to see what the ink looks like and how it feels to write using that pen? for me it's usually a single word or a phrase from a song (my go-tos are hello, wait, Beloved (my MC's name, shhh) and other fictional characters' names or Why you gotta be so mean? from Taylor Swift's song "Mean", don't ask me why because i have no answer)

writing down the lyrics to a song that's currently stuck in your mind and living there rent-free, and if you forget the next line or if something else pops into your head - let it take you over

write on random pieces of paper! the less it reminds you of a notebook/blank page, the better! sometimes that means what's left of printer paper or post-it notes. actually, most of the photos of paper pages in this post are from my poor quality notebooks - the paper is too thin or not smooth or the pages are yellowish, so i don't feel bad """wasting""" the notebook for doodles, random scribbles, etc.

a diary entry? a diary entry, except there doesn't have to be depth to it, no journaling type of reflection on your feelings, on your experiences, on the Daily Journaling Prompt necessary--unless you want to. in my case it's mostly complaining about the pen i decided to use or the quality of the paper but!!! because i let myself write anything and everything on one page, at one point it feels natural to write some random story sentences on the other page

CW: implied past physical abuse

brainstorming! here's where, for me, the "messaging a friend" name came from. i have a very vague idea for what i want to write or a very small detail i want to write about, but nothing else. i set up a timer and write everything down (the screenshot is taken from my very own personal discord server, it's just me and a writing bot. at one point i realised that whenever i was brainstorming or writing cheer up ficlets in my friends' discord DMs, writing went super easy because my brain didn't register it as writing, but as chatting. At first, I formatted a new google doc so it looked exactly like discord's dark theme, but ultimately decided that just creating a new server just for my writing process/practice/etc and stuff is easier)

CW: harmful & discouraging stuff asexual people face

"I don't know what to write, I don't even think I want to write an actual story, it's not going to stop me" kind of writing. Anything goes and I mean anything. The sentences aren't connected. There's no actual idea or story behind the sentences. You're just writing a word after a word after a word. Sometimes a question appears in your mind, so you write it down. The question leads to more questions, or maybe an answer, or maybe you realise you like the feel/sound of one word so you write it again and again. After you wrote the word three times, tiny ideas form in your mind, things you relate to that word. Then you lose track of the thought so you write "I lost track", then a piece of dialogue floats in your mind that's probably inspired or part of a song lyric you wrote earlier

CW: unconventional/controversial lovers

if your writing anxiety is caused by fandom wank regarding some topics, tropes, themes, or even genres, know that if you freestyle about the thing you're worried somebody would judge you for, nobody else will read it. you can delete the doc afterwards. you can password protect it. you can tear the page out of your notebook and shred it to pieces. i won't include a photo example of this one (anxious, remember? also, it's nsfw) but i did this with smut-specific words and phrases. i got a blank piece of paper and wrote--first, just words (nouns for genitalia, verbs for action, etc. let me tell you - i was alone in the room and even trying to write the first word was difficult, in my head i kept thinking back to people's conversations on how "problematic these words are" etc etc etc and that fed my anxiety even further because "oh god what if they knew i was about to write this, what would they think of me"), then the words combined into phrases, then common smexy phrases that characters in smut say, and so on and so on. no punctuation because it's not a story. you know what happened after i put that first word on the page? nothing. i felt silly, sure, but i repeated the word several more times and still no People From the Internet barged into my room to ridicule & judge me. during that session, freestyling for that genre got easier and easier with every word.

Two posts that helped me realise that warming up for writing (and anything creative) is a good idea:

Writers need warm up sketches too (my way of warm up is usually either freewriting or using a typing speed website)

The anatomy of a pen/pencil etc

...and I think that's all from me 💕 apologies for how long this is but I hope it helps you in some way *hugs*

#shhh B #B replies #Anonymous #...aaa i don't want this to show up in the general tags but i want to find it later #you feel me? #writing #anyway i really hope it helps and if anything's too confusing please let me know and I'll try to explain better alter #*later

[auldmusician]

It Shines, But Gives No Heat

I first saw/heard the phrase 'It shines, but gives no heat' whilst walking around an exhibition in the British Library. The exhibition: 'The Russian Revolution' For an hour and a half I slowly paced round the exhibition reading quotes, listening to voice actors describe what life was life back then, looking at graphs and charts and a timeline of what happend before and what led to the Russian Revolution. I was roaming around open mouthed and wide eyed like a child in a toy shop. It was so interesting. I knew nothing about the Russian Revolution and to be honest had not interest until that day. Then it became the most interesting thing I'd ever heard about in my life. It was a great time. The British Library sure know how to throw a good exhibition (this is the only one I've been to, but honestly so many of them sounded great, I just rarely had the spare £17)  The British Library was always one of my favourite places to go when I lived in London. I use to go there for full days to work on music or do some writing. However most of the time I would just pretend I was an academic and listen in to the lecturers and students chatting whilst having coffee. It was maybe not the most exciting or useful way to spend a day, but I loved it nonetheless.

So I leave the Exhibition on the Russian Revolution. Feeling like the smartest boy in the room. Feeling like how I feel after watching an Adam Curtis documentary. Ready to show off to friends and colleagues my new found knowledge and pass it off as stuff I knew my entire life. But just like those Adam Curtis documentaries, all that information that I found so incredibly interesting has left my brain almost as soon as it has entered. Honestly if you asked me anything about the Russian Revolution today I wouldn't be able to tell you a fucking thing. For an hour and a half it was the most important thing to me in the world. Learning about it. Understanding it. Then 10 minutes after leaving the exhibition, the information has all gone. It's not even like it comes back when prompted. I've seen 2 seperate documentaries on the Russian Revolution since and it was like it was all fresh new information. This sort of thing happens to me all the time so I now have to make loads of notes so I remember stuff. So I checked my notebook and the only thing I had written down that day is 'It Shines, but gives no heat' I don't have an explanation for it and I don't have a reason why it was being said or who had said it. I'm also not sure I had written it down correctly as I've search online and can't find the saying anywhere. There is however a Russian proverb I found: 'The Moon gives us light, but no heat' So it obviously has something to do with that. It Shines, but gives no heat, sounds kinda beautiful, but I guess overall it is not a positive description of something/someone. Something that looks nice and shiny and bright, but has no real lasting, beneficial effect on you. That is the way I always understood it. I guess a good way to describe a lot of things we chase, money, stuff, popular products, status, influence, looking a certain way, popularity, success. These things that are presented to us as an important part of having a nice life, but are actually very hollow. Apart from maybe a short term serotonin splash. Obviously things are a little more complex than that and depending on the situation, some of these things listed can have a longer lasting, meaningful benefit on our lives. It Shines, But gives no heat could probably work as a phrase to describe the big brands and business's pretending to be our mates and pretending to be socially conscious, but only when it is guaranteed to profit them heavily financially. It could mean several different things and my weak examples might not be what springs to your mind when you hear the phrase.   Ever since I heard the phrase it seems to enter my head a lot and relates to all sorts of situations I find myself in or find myself thinking about. It's like when you learn a new word and then hear/see that word everywhere. I heard this phrase and it seemed to relate to everything.  Rachel and I have just moved to Donegal. It's a beautiful County on the West coast of Ireland. We are living at a beach cottage for 6 months and then it becomes a holiday rental place for the Spring and Summer months. The months you would actually want to be at the beach, we get kicked out. But for us right now it is perfect.

On paper moving to live on the beach in the middle of nowhere for the winter is the single most coolest and artistic thing a musician can do, so even to have that in the press release for the next album will make it all worth it. One thing that is strange and hard to get used to now, is whenever a big life event happend or whenever something good happend to me the first person I would always tell is my Mum. I would tell my Mum first because I knew she got so much more pleasure out of anything remotely good happening to me than I actually did myself, She was the same for the whole family. There hasn't been a huge amount of examples, but any sort of 'achievement' or big thing that has happend in my life will always come with the memory of telling my Mum and basically living vicariously through her reaction. It is hard now that whatever else I do in this life it will be without her. I won't be able to tell her. No matter what I do there will always be something missing. I think the majority of us never have that feeling leave us of ultimately wanting to make our parents proud and impress them. I don't think I ever said it to my Mum but I always just wanted to make her proud and I'm one of the luckiest people in the world that knew that my Mum was always proud of me anyway. But it's strange when that motivation disappears. Of course there are now new motivations that come with growing up and that come with losing someone that meant so much to you. Priorities change and you see life differently. So when we moved to this new house (the first time Rachel and I have lived alone together in our 9 year relationship) and we were strolling along the beach and I thought  to myself, this is pretty perfect. I was really appreciating how happy I felt in that moment, which I'm not sure I've ever done before in my life. Then as soon as I felt it, the feeling disappeared. Knowing that my Mum couldn't witness me being happy made being happy less important. These things shine, but offer no heat.  BUT THEY WILL DO IN TIME I cannot stress enough that this isn't supposed to be as gloomy as it sounds. It is just one of the many adjustments we make when we lose someone so special to us. The memories and love she has left us with will always outweigh any grief. I just find it helps talking quite openly about this kinda stuff.

#russian revolution #grief #griefjourney