#I'm half joking with my sarcasm | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

prettyboykatsuki · 1 year

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picket fence | i. sae

✭ tags ; fem + afab!reader (sae jokingly refers to you as unladylike), established relationship, sae is whipped and bad at feelings, reader is very secure in themselves, p in v, very vanilla, 18+

✭ wc ; 2.2k

✭ a/n ; experiencing immense shame. will not be taking questions at this time

✭ synopsis ; you fail to seduce you boyfriend. he wonders if you’ll ever get that you dont need to try

"I'm trying to seduce you," Your voice is sarcastic as it is genuine in equal parts. Sae's expression remains impassive "Can't you at least pretend to care?"

"No," He replies back. You pout and cross your arms. Fake demure abandoned for your difficult personality, you flounce into the living room with a sigh. You're wearing lingerie. It's all lace and sheer and glittery. Not simple to put on from what he can see.

There's garters and stockings visible to the eye and you went as far as wearing the jersey he got for you in his size - cut in half to show you off. It's an admirable attempt, at least. You give him a twirl, gesturing to yourself and then groaning at his disinterest.

He smiles, corners of his lips twitched upwards as he glances at you then turns back to the T.V.

"I can't even get a compliment? Not even a fake one? C'mon,"

He gives you a look, wondering why you've even asked. You sigh, throwing your hands up in the air.

"Most guys would be thrilled by this. Do you know that? I bet Shidou would be,"

"Shidou would fuck anything warm with a hole." He says sarcastically. Even in your annoyance, you laugh. Sae smiles to himself.

"I bet Rin would give me attention," You whine.Sae looks at you seriously.

"Don't joke about fucking my little brother,"

"Who said I was joking, dickwad," You spit, your personality returning to you in the blink of an eye. Sae gives you an unimpressed look "Whatever. I'm gonna go take pictures."

"Pictures?" He inquires. You shoot him a look of annoyance.

"Yes, pictures, Itoshi-san," You say, biting and frustrated - punctuating the honorific "Pictures."

"For who?"

You frown at him.

"Well, certainly not for you." You reply, hand on your hip "For me and whatever friend will hype me up. My private story, who knows, really."

"Don't do that."

"I put too much effort into this. I'm getting some pictures in it." There's a tinge of disappointment at the end of your words, followed by the utmost sincerity "I won't send it to any dudes so you can relax or whatever. I get to pick dinner."

"Hey," He calls, then huffs as you give him a look "Stop. Come here."

Sae watches you tilt your head, confused. You're annoyed, but not upset enough to make it a big deal. You always make it clear that you expect little from Sae. The longer he dates you, the more it annoys him. It's contradictory in it's own right, hypocritical to an extent.

But he doesn't particularly care as you stand next to him, arms crossed over your chest.

"Hm?"

He reaches his hands towards you, fidgeting with the strap of your garters. The warmth of your skin radiates off of you. You smell nice, like something fruity and floral - and you're all visibly done up. He only notices when there's this much space between you.

"How much was this?"

"Expensive," You reply, simple and indifferent "I bought it."

"For me?"

Where he's expecting your usual self (sarcastic, unladylike, rude), you slink back at the question. You're embarrassed, tucking your chin and trying desperately to get a read on his feelings. A sensation he can't describe washes over him, half-way between guilt and amusement.

"Yeah. Who else?"

"Rin," He replies back easily, and you sigh.

"I'm sorry. Just jokes," You say, light-hearted. Gentle in your own way "Are you done? Or are you asking so you can pay me back since you foiled my plans?"

"You look good." He murmurs gently. Softly, quietly, with as little sarcasm as he can manage. It's uncomfortable. The words don't fit in his mouth the way they should. It's not like he's thinking anything else. You do look good. And he does know, that most guys would be thrilled if their partners put on such a get-up for them.

Sae knows it almost intimately that half of his meathead teammates would cream their pants looking at you. Because he's not blind or stupid. It doesn't mean anything to Sae except for when it does.

"You don't have to try so hard," You offer again. That's so like you. No expectations, always prepared to give him ease where he doesn't deserve it "'s fine. Thanks for saying that. I'll go change and we can watch something."

"No," He says, shaking his head. A little gentler this time "C'mere."

A flush spreads over you. He invites you into the bed and you crawl towards him, settled in his lap. He doesn't know what to do with himself.

It's not like he doesn't like it. That he's unaffected. It's just not the clothing itself. Not the lingerie or the jersey which construct themselves as just objects. Sae's desires are the way you linger in the doorway of your shared bedroom - the twirling and posing and dramatics.

The soft laughter and the brave face you put on to walk into the door. The lingerie is pretty. It cups you, hugs you in the right places. Dips between the curve of your breasts and squeezes.

None of that is particular important. Right now, you've let yourself settle in his lap. Your arms around his frame, encircled around his neck and forgiving. He can feel the heat of your core over his cock, can feel the way your eyes flit to his lips up to his gaze. Sae secures his hands on your waist, fingers hooking into a strap and snapping it against your skin.

He kisses your jaw, all the way up until you your lips hover near each other. You press your lips to his, hands brushing the nape of his hair. He deepens it just for you.

"What was'at for? You wanna have sex?"

He laughs at you. Stupid. Crass. Vulgar.

Cute.

"Do you think I'm a eunuch?"

"You act like one sometimes." You admit, with a heaving sigh - brushing your nose against his "Dunno. I feel like I want you more than you want me."

"You're really stupid."

"Sae," You pout like you don't think you'll get your way, even though you always do "You suck."

He's honest with himself for a minute "I know."

"I still love you, though."

"I love you too." He means it. For some reason it's not as hard to say. Love is an objective truth. He can say it reasonably and not flinch. Everything else is hard. You rub your cheek against his, an affectionate and overgrown housecat in his bed.

"Mm," You cling to him, hugging him to your chest "But do you like me?"

"Sometimes."

"So mean." You say with no malice "I don't wanna do any work."

"'s fine. C'mere."

Sae helps as he flips over, until you're onto your back. There's a dull glow from the T.V. illuminating you. Rain pours outside, dark and cloudy. You bat your lashes as Sae hovers over you. His hand grasps your hip, sliding up to your knee as you wrap your legs all the way around his waist.

He kisses you tenderly. You kiss back with a mewl, an innocent and fragile noise that he never gets sick of. It's this part of you Sae likes, this part that makes you want him. Despite all of your grievances and annoyance - all your unpleasantires, you are resilient in a way he has a hard time understanding.

You’re patient, despite him. Always meeting him where he is but making him want to give you more, give you everything. There's plenty of attractive people in the world. None could be you, his home-grown and lovesick toothache.

It makes him feel impatient. Breaks his cool bravado down so slightly. He kisses you again, all deep tongue until you whimper. Then he drags his lips down your neck, teeth grazing your pulse as you hiccup.

You break apart so Sae can undress you. Wiggling out of the jersey, lettng him unclasp your bra. He feels his stomach twist. You're enticing. The gentle heave of your chest, goosebumps on your skin. Sae lets his mouth speak for him, laving his tongue over each of your tits. Toying with your nipples until you gasp and roll your hips up against him.

"Sae," You moan. Sae grunts in the back of his throat "Feels good."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

The posession that settles in him his strange. He's never felt for anything in this way. Soccer is different. It can't leave. If he works hard enough, he can accomplish his goals.

The idea of you going somewhere Sae can't see you is troubling. Anyone seeing you like this - falling apart as arousal sparks in your gut is agitating. Sae wants you like this. Wants you to fall apart underneath him, because of him. It's all he can do to tell you the extent of his feelings.

He touches you until you're begging him to hurry it up, too much pleasure in your voice to be intimidating. He listens. Continues to toy with your chest as he nudges your legs apart, a hand in your panties to feel you.

You're dripping, keening as he rubs your pussy. He lets himself in slowly, rubbing your clit with his middle finger before angling himself lower. Normally there's more of a build-up. Sae works all of you open slowly. With his tongue or his fingers or his mouth.

He likes seeing you need it. What part of him that speaks too, he doesn't examine. Today, it feels like the roles are inverse. He can feel all the blood rushing to his cock. His thoughts bombarded with you and all your little misgivings.

Today it's more impatient. He finger fucks you open with an end goal clear in his mind. You spread your legs a little, and Sae pushes his middle finger into in one go. There's little resistance. You're wet and welcoming, sighing so sweet in his ear until it's easy to go in and out.

"C'mon and fuck me." You open your eyes to ask him, glassy and desperate "Please?"

"You're so impatient."

"Wanna know you want me."

"You should already know that."

Sae pulls away from you, standing on his knees.

"Open your mouth."

You nod. He lets his middle fingers rest on your tongue as he uses his free hand to position you. His cock rests against your bare cunt. He pushes between your folds, head nudging your clit. You feel good. Always perfect. Always wet and hot and inviting.

He ruts his hips. You whine for him, sounding so need. A staccato to your moans that makes him ache.

"You should know how much I want you, shouldn't you," He says, a hint of frustration in it "Everybody but you seems to."

Sae pushes into you with a heave. You're tight. Warm and wet and slick - made for him just like he always knew. He groans a little as he pushes the tip in. His hands come up under your knees, folding you in half. He waits for you to stop squirming, rocking himself slowly so that it's easier to fit all of him inside.

With a little effort, he manages. His pelvis up against yours, he gets himself close to you. You moan and he gives you look.

"You don't have to do anything special for me to fuck you like this," He says. It's easy to be honest now "Anything you do is enough."

"I just wanna look nice for you." You complain - so breathless and so struck with want Sae can't even be upset.

"I know. And you do," He grunts as he pulls his hips back, pulling out before pushing all the way back in "I don't hate it. Just for me, okay?"

"You're so bad at bein' honest."

"I'm being honest right now," Sae fucks you hard. A punctuated thrust, hand snaked between your bodies to toy with your clit "Read between the lines."

If Sae were better he'd say what he thinks. That it doesn't matter what clothes you have on because he wants to fuck you within an inch of your life for much less. You do look good in the lingerie, too good, and if you send any pictures to anyone - he's going to block them. One of these days he'll be courageous and make you cum while you wear his jersery. Bounce you on his cock and whisper about what you make him do. It’s unlike him. He doesn’t get it either.

He can't verbalize all of that well, so he takes to what he knows. Takes to using his hips to fuck you hard and fast, rhythmic and deep so you can't keep up. He hopes all of it comes through, that short whispers of “fuck, that's it” do enough to get it to come across.

Sae looks on as your face twists with pleasure. Your walls twitch and you shiver in his arms, nails in his bicep as he plays with you. Fucks you to his hearts content. Your legs over his shoulder, toes curled. Your muscles tense.

"Sae, g-gonna, I'm gonna c-cum."

"Cum for me." He whispers (begs if you listen closely) and you do. You're vibrant and wanton and you've still got your stockings on as your pussy pulses needlessly, arousal dripping down his length and onto the sheets underneath you. Leaving a mess of you on the sheets.

He's not done with you yet, but he slows so you can catch your breath. You open your eyes and giggle.

"You make me feel so good." You praise, easily and naturally like you do everything else. He groans internally, at a loss for words.

Instead of saying anything, he presses a kiss to your hairline and promises.

"Gonna keep going till you get it."

You grin.

"I’ll hold you to that, sir.”

#writing tag #sae x reader #itoshi sae x reader #sae smut #bluelock x reader #bluelock smut #wow i am immensely ashamed

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har-rison-s · 5 months

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fear or endearment | coryo snow x fem!reader

a/n: hello people of tumblr. yes, i'm getting on the train of writing for coryolanus snow (save me). he's just so writeable before the 10th games, i feel. after that i lose any touch with him, honestly, idk. bad man. welp! enjoy this little short blurb i thought of while i was at work yesterday (no connection, tho, just day dreaming). happy reading <3

warnings: none except snow's manipulative, calculating personality; this is pre-10th games snow btw

word count: 1,894

gif credit goes to owner <3

“you only like me because i bring you free stuff,” she says, her lips wearing a smile that holds the sadness of the half-joke she just made. it’s only an ironic way of saying the truth, and she thinks him a fool not to admit it. her hands get busy with carefully emptying the messenger bag full of food leftovers and pastries that the kitchen in her house deemed as unworthy for her family.

“not true,” coryolanus says with a gentle shake of his too-perfect head, eyes looking at her instead of raking over the gifts she’s brought. they’ll keep him and his family away from hunger for a week at least, if they plan carefully, “i like you regardless of that.”

she shakes her head with more conviction. it’s one thing to lie to himself about it, it’s another to tell the lie to her face. her face that has seen the brutal truth in people, her eyes that can see through any facade. it’s the reason she doesn’t watch television unless she absolutely necessarily has to – the facade built up around the ugly truth makes her sick to her stomach. “oh, yes, and my dream is to become a peacekeeper.” her sharp tongue responds.

coryolanus considers her words and the sarcastic look on her face, the faint grin she wears. he doesn’t like being confused, and yet she makes him feel that way very often. sarcasm is her companion in every conversation, and coryolanus suspects he might be one of the only people in the world she shows her bare soul and heart to, and even then she shows very little. her rebellious nature, though, is what makes him worried for her. sometimes he thinks he ought to follow her in her ways, even though it wouldn’t be easy. it would also be going against everything he’s fought so hard to have, and would continue to fight for.

coryolanus shakes his head in confusion, his cheeks blushing just the faintest tone of pink and curls trembling along with his head movements. she laughs fruitfully at knowing she made him confused, her head hanging back for a moment. she closes her bag, its contents emptied on coryo’s kitchen table, and looks down on them. “i know you wonder why i say things like that,” she looks up at him again, and coryo nods, his lips bit back in a faint smile, “can’t help it. must be some security mechanism in me, to joke or draw irony in serious matters.” she shuffles herself onto the table’s surface, now getting the view of coryo in front of her instead of having to wring her neck around every time to just look at him standing beside her. coryo nods again and smiles wider. “sometimes i want to shut up, but i just can’t seem to. and that tends to get me in trouble quite a lot. you know that well.”

ah, yes, her rebellious nature that gets in the way of her education and reputation up-keeping. he might just be her only friend at school, because no one wants to associate themselves with such a rebellious girl as her. sejanus has been nice to her, but coryo guesses he lacks the courage to talk to her. coryo makes a grin and takes a step closer to her. her genuine eyes find his again and she searches them for some bit of truth. it’s hard for most people to guess what he’s thinking, but not for her. “i like you for that,” coryolanus tells her, and she furrows her eyebrows because by looking into is eyes she knows it’s the truth that he’s telling.

“hmm,” she just hums in surprise, “i know it upsets you, too. and that you worry about me, and that’s why you get me out of trouble, even if you don’t have to. you and your perfect attendance and grades, perfect attitude.” she counts off, and it almost sounds like she despises him for all these things. coryo shakes his head, eyelids fluttering while looking at her still.

“you of all people know how imperfect i am,” he says, “look where i have to live,” he gestures around the kitchen. but her smile drops, “it’s almost nothing compared to your place.”

“where we live doesn’t say much about us,” she responds, “so many people at school think i’m this spoiled princess of the capitol living in my great mansion with mother and father.” she rolls her eyes. “only thing perfect about me are my grades, and even they are being pulled down because of my attitude.” she sighs. coryo nods, understanding, and stays close to her. “i’m really a rebellious child whose parents hardly have patience for. it’s not like i try to get into trouble, it just so happens that my opinions don’t go well with everyone else’s. i know i’m not the only one, but i might be the only one with guts to say those opinions.” she shrugs. “you know that associating with me can get you into trouble, too.”

coryo nods. “but it hasn’t this far,” he responds with a kind smile as the two of them look at each other. she wishes she could respond with a smile half as true as his current one, but her character has been beaten down. her eyelids flutter and she looks down at her hands.

“why do you get me out of trouble, then? why do you worry about me?” she asks quietly. “we both know you shouldn’t.”

“you don’t believe me when i say it,” coryo says, reminding her of the beginning of their conversation. she looks up at him again, chin raised. he’s wounded by her disbelief.

“what?” she asks in half a whisper. coryo tilts his head, his facial expression saying that his answer should be obvious. his hand hesitantly reaches out to hers in her lap, gently coating her intertwined palms. she’s almost forgot how to breathe. he’s never touched her hands before. it’s always a hand at the small of her back, on her shoulder, arms around her. never the hands. it almost seems like he was saving them for... something.

“i like you,” coryo says just as quietly, hand over hers and eyes looking at her, this intense emotion suddenly between them in the air, “not just for the free stuff. it’s the depth of your heart and kindness,” one i know i’ll never have, “and your courageous nature.”

she smiles. “you have courage, too, coryo,” she tells him quietly, and finds herself lost in him now that he’s so close to her. his ice-cold heart warms at her using the nickname for him. she intertwines their fingers now, raising the formed knot higher between them, so that it would enter their line of vision. coryo looks at it, and his heart lurches in his chest, making him feel nearly on the point of fainting, “you do,” she says again, “you just need to... channel it in the right direction.” she utters in a the quietest of whispers.

coryolanus doesn’t dare a make a noise even though his throat is dry and he needs to clear it, but he fears anything louder than a whisper might ruin everything, even his heart feels like it’s hammering too loud in his chest, “like this?” he asks in a faint voice, and she furrows her eyebrows at the weird question, but doesn’t get to doubt it because coryo is pressing his lips to hers, adding even more value to their moment together.

for a person who is always able to calculate things to come, she is surprised because this she didn’t calculate at any point. but she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t waited for him to do this, to take a next step, for at least a few weeks now. her courage faded away any chance she had to do the same, to be the one who takes the first step.

she grips his hand between them even harder, and her other hand goes to cradle the side of his face, but after the first few kisses their hands untie and she uses both of hers to hold his face, while coryo is too shy to touch her. she pulls away, both of them out of breath, and they look at each other. stunned. thrilled. without words to say about what they just did.

“yeah, like that,” she finally breathes in response, always having something cheeky up her sleeve, “only...” she takes both of his hands in hers and places them on her waist, where they fit nearly like a magnet. coryo breathes a quiet sigh of relief, it was where he thought of embracing her, but somehow lacked the guts to do so. looking at each other, she nods at him and coryo makes a small smile. “i know you like me now,” she says quietly, and coryo even chuckles, “you wouldn’t be so nervous about me otherwise.”

he nods, succumbing to the defeat of her cracking him, and stands between her legs that dangle off the side of the table. his hands on her fit right in place, both of them feeling that they’re always meant to be there. “sometimes, uh...” coryo shakes his head, a little nervous to say what he wants to, but she urges him on with her hand on his cheek serving a comforting touch, and he blushes when he looks at her, “sometimes i don’t know if i like you or i’m scared of you.” he admits.

it makes her laugh out loud, as if it was the most ridiculous thing she’s ever heard someone say. her head hangs low, and then rests against his chest once her laughter has started to subside. coryo feels embarrassed that he admitted that now, but he wraps his arms around her nonetheless. he knows she means no harm.

she looks up at him, hands on his chest, and gets real close to his face again, “you better figure it out real soon, coryo,” she tells him, “i don’t want to be with someone who’s scared of me. i want them to be with me because they like me.” she says truthfully and coryo nods. he’s never really been around a girl or woman who’s made him feel like she has. it’s hard to explain, but her rebellious nature, her unpredictability are what scare him, but also what endear her to him. make him like her so much. makes his heart jump out of his chest when she speaks against a professor or simply flees a classroom.

“i like you,” coryo assures her, “and i’m glad you want to be with me, too.” he says and they smile at each other. she nods at him and leans into his chest into a long embrace neither of them really want to get out of.

coryolanus is scared of the consequences of her actions, scared for where it will make him end up. but life with her has colour. he doesn’t exactly want to give that up because he might get in trouble. he finds a way out of it with his wit and charm, anyhow. whatever problems she could get him into by being herself he can easily get out of, so maybe taking risks isn’t that deadly of a thing. not for her.

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part 2

#har-rison-s writes #har-rison-s work #coryolanus snow #coryolanus snow x reader #coryo snow #coryo snow x reader #tom blyth #the ballad of songbirds and snakes fanfic #coryo snow fanfic #coryo snow x fem!reader #coryo snow x female reader #coriolanus snow x female reader #coriolanus snow x fem!reader

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fandoms--fluff · 4 months

Text

Secret Bestie

Mikaelson female reader x Katherine Pierce

Warnings: Drinking, swearing?

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"Where are you going?" Your dad asks from where he's sat in an armchair. You're on your way to the front door, about to leave. You're wearing a black, mini, v-neck bodycon dress with bell sleeves and black heeled boots.

"Out" you face him. "Where exactly?"

"Oh, just deep into the woods where I'm meeting my witch cult where we're planning to end the world" you tell your dad with a straight face.

"What?" He raises an eyebrow. "You do know what sarcasm is, correct?" You ask him.

"Whatever. I'm just meeting my friend to go out to dinner and talk and stuff our faces with food" you tell him, not disclosing the name of said friend.

"...Alright, have fun" he eventually says. You tell him bye and walk out the door.

When you walk in the restaurant, you look around before spotting your best friend.

"Hey, babe" you tell her, sitting across the booth. "You do know I'm way older than you" she smirks.

"Huh, I could've sworn I've known you since we were kids" you joke, making her chuckle.

"Elijah still doesn't know about me, huh?" She takes a sip of her drink.

"I'm pretty sure he would hunt you down and kill you, himself. That is if Uncle Nik doesn't find out first that is" You take the glass out of her hand, taking a sip of it yourself.

"That's fair," Katherine says, taking her drink back. "Get your own" She smirks.

You call over the waitress and persuade her into giving you a drink with a tiny bit of magic. "Impressive" Katherine says once the brunette waitress leaves.

"Well, you vamps have your compulsion, while I have my persuasive tricks. One may call me magical" you smirk back at her. "Oh, I wonder why" Katherine rolls her eyes playfully.

"We should have some fun" you smile. "Hmm, I like that face, what kind of fun?" She smiles back. You've noticed that she only really smiles a general real smile when she's with you.

"I heard about a party in the woods that's tonight," You tell her. "Perfect," Katherine says. You guys clink your glasses together before finishing your drinks.

You guys got to the party half an hour ago and are dancing to the booming music that the speakers are playing. halfway through your's and Katherine's favorite song, your phone starts to vibrate.

You look down at the caller ID and see it's your dad who's calling. "Shit" You say and walk away from the crowd of people, Katherine following after you.

"What's wrong? Who's phoning you?" Katherine asks. "My dad" You say, getting her to instantly quiet when you answer it.

"Hey, dad" You bring the phone to your ear.

"Hello, I was just- what's all that sound?" Your dad instantly hears all the noise in the background.

"Oh, yeah, a bunch of annoying ass teens just came in here with a speaker, and no one is doing anything about it" You groan, lying to your dad perfectly.

Your father believed you after a moment. You smirk after hanging up. "He is so gullible to you," She says, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

"You have no idea" you chuckle and you guys go back to the fun.

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luveline · 1 year

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What if… hear me out- You wrote idc who it’s about but they kiss the reader and the reader wipes off the kiss to see their reaction???

i chose Sirius! i hope this was a request lol ly

It's a shame Sirius is being so sweet today, because you're about to break his heart.

Not permanently or anything, but you're planning on recreating a prank you'd seen on your phone wherein one partner wipes their lips after a kiss. Sirius (bless his heart) is a sensitive soul — he's easily offended. Always the last to break a cuddle and the first to lean in for a kiss, you can imagine his reaction already.

"You smell really good," he dotes. He hasn't stopped since he came home, practically lying on top of you where you lounge on the settee.

"Mm," you hum, hand rising to brush through his nice curls. "Thanks, handsome… It's the one you got me for my birthday."

"I have good taste."

You smile, tired and limp with his company and his weight. He grounds you like nobody else can, even when you're doing nothing. You'd spend a thousand nights exactly like this if you could.

His nose bumps against your throat. "Am I crushing you?" he asks.

"Definitely." You work your arm around him so he can't attempt an escape, and backtrack when he starts to get up anyway. "No, no, Siri, don't."

You're laughing as you tug at him. He's too strong, laughing himself as he climbs up off of you and gives your thigh an apologetic squeeze. "We need dinner, chick."

"Do we?"

He leans down over you, looking a picture of lovesickness. "We do." He kisses you. "You do. What do you want?"

You wait until he's standing in the doorway to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand.

His jaw drops.

"What do you wanna make?" you ask nonchalantly. "Let's just have whatever's easiest."

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"Don't mess with me," he demands.

"Sirius," you say gently, "baby, what?"

He traipses back to you. He looks really pretty like this after work, hair half up in a ponytail and wearing his comfy clothes. He slots himself by your hip and takes your hands into his, a formidable look on his handsome features.

"I'm so offended I can't find the words," he says. You're relieved to hear an insincerity in his voice, his lips pulled into a smile that spells poorly contained humour. "I kissed you and you wiped your mouth."

You bite your lip to stop from smiling. "It was a wet one."

"It was a wet one," he repeats.

You try desperately to keep your expression in check. "Yep."

Sirius turns his face to the side, tongue poking his cheek. You can feel the cogs turning in his head, a mischievous plan come to form. "I'll show you," he promises.

Before you know it your arms have been pulled over your head and Sirius is bearing down on you, lips slick with spit.

"What are you doing?" You squeal, squirming in his vice-like grip, head pressed backward urgently. It's pointless, he's already kissed you, and your escape isn't an escape at all. Like a puppy, Sirius kisses wet half moons over the curve of your neck, his victorious laughter hot on your skin.

He loosens his grip on your wrists because he's not ever mean like that and you pull him away by the hair because you are.

"You're disgusting," you say, words warped with fondness.

"Don't ever wipe off one of my kisses ever again," he says.

You thread your fingers more kindly into his hair to scratch at his scalp, pouting. "It was just a joke."

"It was super funny."

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit," you say factually.

Sirius ignores you for the most part, lowering his lips to your throat again. His kisses are better this time around, less wet and more scraping. You gasp as his teeth dig in and he pulls your skin between his lips, sucking a teeny hickey. It probably won't even bruise, it's the surprise that has you shuddering.

"Liked that, did you?" he asks, one part genuine and two parts smarmy.

"Let's order a takeaway.”

He nips at the sensitive skin under your ear and then pulls back. "Let's," he agrees emphatically. “How many do you reckon I can get in before it gets here?”

“How many what?”

“Kisses,” he says, like it’s obvious.

You feel heat in your chest like hands held over an open fire. “Ring the Three Dragons and let’s find out.”

You’ve never seen him get a phone in his hand so fast.

#sirius black x y/n #sirius black blurb #sirius black x reader fluff #sirius black fanfiction #sirius black drabble #sirius black imagine #sirius black x you #sirius black x reader #sirius black x fem!reader #marauders era #marauders #the marauders x reader #the marauders fanfiction #the marauders fanfic #the marauders #sirius black fluff

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jungle-angel · 4 months

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See No Dumbass, Hear No Dumbass (Bob Floyd x Reader)

Summary: You guys thought it would be a good idea to take Bob's sister, Aly, to The Hard Deck for some much needed downtime, but you guys learn very quickly on she has neither the time nor the patience for dumbasses

Tagging: @sallyandjack Hailee my love, I apologize that this is so overdue but I hope you'll enjoy it either way. Have a very, very happy New Year my friend

The Hard Deck was starting to get crowded with everyone starting to come in for the New Year's Day celebrations. New Year's Eve had been no less of an eventful night with you and Bob practically making out once the clock had struck midnight.

"Good God I need a drink," his sister Aly signed from the backseat of the truck.

"You want a Dirty Pirate when we get there?" Bob asked her.

"Literally anything at this point," Aly replied with a laugh.

You laughed as you watched them banter back and forth. Thank God both you and Bob had taken up ASL when you did. Aly had been one of the best teachers you could have asked for and it had especially served you well seeing as you had a hard-of-hearing first grader enter your class in the lower grades at the local Steiner school you taught at.

"Thank God it's not as crazy as last night," you sighed, pulling Bob's truck into the parking lot space close to the building. "I thought I was gonna scream trying to get outta here."

"Almost everybody at this point has a hangover sweetheart," Bob chuckled as he helped you and his sister out.

Into the bar you went with all its familiar sights, sounds and smells of drinks being made, food being served and raucous chatter and laughter filling the whole place. To you and Bob, The Hard Deck felt like your Hogwarts or your Camp Half Blood with your best memories having been made right here with all your friends and family.

"Oh look who it is!" Penny greeted excitedly. "Two siblings in khaki and one of the best teachers ever!"

You had to laugh as you, Bob and his sister seated yourselves at the bar. "What'll it be guys?" Penny asked.

"Devil's Purse if you don't mind," Bob answered politely.

"Do you still have that grapefruit and vodka mix from last night?" you asked.

"Absolutely," Penny answered. "And for the other pilot?"

"Dirty Pirate if you can," Aly signed.

"You got it honey," Penny answered.

As soon as Penny had gotten your drinks, she slid the laminated menus your way before the rest of the squad made their way in. All around it was huge hugs and excited remarks as the rest of the Daggers took their seats close by you both.

"Oh my Lord if it ain't Baby On Board's sister!" Jake signed to Aly.

"Hey you're getting better at this, dumbass," she replied with a laugh.

"Stop," Jake insisted.

Everybody joked back and forth about the goings on in their lives, their hopes and aspirations for the new year and of course about upcoming vacation plans.

"Hey, hey honey?" somebody asked. "Can you move? You're in my spot."

Aly gave her a confused look, crunching her eyebrows together.

"The hell's the matter with you?" the girl asked again.

"Well, if it didn't occur to you, Regina George," Jake answered, his words dripping with sarcasm. "She's deaf."

"I wasn't talking to you asshole," the girl informed him, nastily.

"Can I help you bitch?" Aly asked her.

"I'm sorry what?"

"She said, 'can I help you bitch?'" Jake laughed.

"Excuse me?!"

"You fuckin heard me!" Aly shot right back.

The whole bar went a little quiet as Aly and the aptly named "Regina George" in front of her, went at it with Jake translating the insults on Aly's behalf.

"Oh shit," Penny hissed.

"I hope we don't have to break up a fight," you said, wincing.

"Three.......two.......one......." Bob counted down.

One last insult from the dumb bitch down in front had been the last straw for Aly, the two of them lunging at each other and falling straight to the floor near the bar. People jumped back when they went at it, the fight so intense that you and Bob thought you could hear a pair of cats meowing angrily.

"Get her!"

"Get her Aly!"

"Beat the shit outta her Aly!"

There was a collective "OOOOH!" throughout the bar when a shoe went flying halfway around the room. And it was only then that Penny had signaled for Jake, Bob and Rooster to break it up. Aly willingly took her place back at the bar and fixed her hair, but the bitch that had insulted her, ran out with the two lackeys she had come in with, looking like an utter mess.

"Sorry about the fight Penny," Aly apologized.

"Nah honey, it's all good," Penny responded. "Not the worst I've ever seen."

You, Bob and the others all went back to your dinner and drinks, both proud and scared shitless of your sister-in-law.

#top gun maverick #robert bob floyd #bob floyd x reader #dagger squad

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maissafespace · 2 years

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Consequences.

Nagi Seishiro x Reader

Request: haiii can i request nagi (bllk) + size kink/manhandling with a short fem reader? thank uuu

Synopsis: A bad game can lead to the best sex of your lives and a few confessions now that he has time since he was suspended from the next week's game.

Warnings: relationship. friends with benefits, explicit nsfw. mean!nagi, harddom!nagi, oral sex male receiving, choking, edging, rough sex, manhandling, size kink, breeding kink, creampie, overstimulation, he uses you to steam off, aftercare and clinginess.

A/N: Nagi my beloved, I'd have a size kink because of him with his 1.90 m tall ass. I mean it's not hard to be shorter than him anon lol... I'm not happy with entirely, so I may edit it later on but I hope you enjoyed it and everyone like and reblog, requests are open!

Ko-fi donations, only if you're able or want to! no obligations!

Masterlist - Masterpost

It had been a few stressful days for Nagi.

From a distance you heard about his games, in the last one being the fact that he was given a penalty for nothing, the VAR wasn't consulted, leading to a bit of a scuffle with the other players and the referee till he was given red card and was expelled from field and later suspended for the next game.

In your years of sex and friendship, you've never seen the look of frustration and anger on his face.

Not even when gaming, he reached that level of anger, mostly because he always won but the few times he didn't, he just sighed and went for another game with no worries.

He had returned to the city this morning, with paparazzi storming him in the airport probably just adding fuel to the fire with the questions they were asking him. The pair of sunglasses was not enough to mask the irritate face, at least it wasn't for you.

It was currently evening, your shift at the cafe finally ended and you were supposed to be on your way home with the two and a half portions of food in the plastic bag, yet with a groan your feet guided you straight to his apartment complex.

Typing in the code you entered, taking the elevator to one of the last floor made you have a moment to think.

You weren't his girlfriend to go and check on him, comfort him, cared that much.. but you were his friend first, friends were supposed to care that much too. You couldn't even lie about the fact that you had missed him, you missed the way he spooned you and embraced you tight, his awful jokes and sarcasm.

You couldn't even lie that you might have been growing feelings for him.

The elevator rang, signaling you that it reached the floor and you took a deep breath, making your way to his black wood door, your finger hesitating before ringing the doorbell.

A few seconds passed, it was pretty early for him to be sleeping but maybe the jet lag was playing with him, your body was about to turn and walk away when he opened fully the door.

His tall and shirtless figure leaving nothing to the imagination, your eyes traveling all over him, noticing with a bit of shame the bulge in his pajama pants, meeting his eyes and feeling the different aura around him.

"Hey." He hummed, taking a step aside and giving you space to walk in, you took your shoes off, leaving your bag on the couch and the plastic bag with food on the coffee table. "I was passing by and knew that you returned this morning. I got some food and-"

You stopped looking up at him, leaning on the wall with arms crossed in front of him, you sighed again, walking up to him carefully. "Are you ok? I saw the news and everything." Your voice was soft, sweet honey to his ears with all the concern it was laced with.

He shrugged though. "Can I do anything to help?"

The throbbing, that those words made his heart feel and make, were his own confirmation, you were so cute standing small and short in front of him, looking up at him with the only intention to help him. Yet, he wanted to ruin you, getting off the built frustration that changed into pure sexual frustration with you in front of him.

A second later his lips were angrily smashing against yours, his huge hand wrapping around your neck perfectly, picking you up to stand on your tippy toes as he did his best to lean down as well.

Your nails dug into his biceps, taken aback at first, you had started to melt yourself into the kiss, following the rythm and roughness his lips were putting on yours, little sounds coming out of your mouth as you closed your eyes feeling in the deepest part of you how much he needed you.

Thighs squeezing together, pants growing tight, the kiss continued while he guided you back till the back of your knees hit the edge of the couch, falling sat panting for air, lips swollen and flushed face.

In front of you stood his trapped erection, his hands undoing the knot, taking you back by your jaw to push himself into your mouth. The small and tight circle of lips... "Am I too big for you?" You struggled to take him all in and reply to his smugness, using your tongue on the tip and your hands that barely wrapped around half of him to please him.

His hands moved to your hair, gripping on it with both hands and pushing you down till his tip hit the back of your throat. Breathing wasn't much of a choice now, you only wanted him to continue using it. A submissive side of yourself that you didn't you had to that extent.

Yes, he was usual the lead and dominant one, but he had never been rough and mean with sex with you.

Tears rolled down your cheeks, and as he adjusted his own speed, groaning at the pleasure of the tight hold of your mouth, you started to get rid off the clothes on you, feeling suffocated in them, wanting to at least relieve the ache in between your legs.

"Fuck- don't fucking touch yourself!" He gritted through his teeth, you could feel the stiffening and tensing of his legs but instead of coming in your mouth, he pulled out, groaning in frustration. For a moment you had forgotten how he hated cumming anywhere but deep inside you, he had told you once that nothing was better than to see his seed oozing out.

You whimpered, the ache becoming too much for you to ignore. He leaned down kissing you again, feeling his own taste from your lips, while an arm went around your waist picking you up easily and walking into his familiar bedroom.

He was completely naked while you still had panties and your tank top on. Once your back hit the soft sheets on the bed, his fingers ripped off the laced fabric, your top disappearing as well leaving you as bare as he was.

Gripping down on your thighs enough to leave marks, keeping your legs far apart as he slid up and down, the tip hitting on your clit making your limbs shake, hips raise to find a bit more pleasure against his strenght, only telling him how much you wanted him too.

He let on of your limbs go, taking his dick and guiding himself to press against you, your hearts beating faster and faster stopping with gasps from you both as he slid in.

Stretching you so good, walls throbbing around him as he kept filling you more, till his tip hit the entrance of your womb, pain or pleasure, everything felt the same, as long as he and you melted as one together.

The slight bulge on your stomach as he stopped as deep as he could, stopping as well feeling your warmth, once he had missed in the last few weeks, engulf him fully, grunting when he started to move himself back and forth, holding you in place, halting you from squirming around, letting your fingers dug into his skin.

The bed creacked, headboard hitting against the wall, for that moment you were thankful he didn't have neighbours to hear those shameful noises that escaped you both.

His hand went to press down on your lower stomach, where the slight tip could appear, making your orgasm approach faster.

He leaned down rutting into you, completely caging your small frame under himself, you continued to moan as the feeling in your core made itself more present, his thrusts coming off sloppily with his grunting through his teeth.

It was in a split second that you felt that feeling of relief, eyes rolling back, your head thrown back as well while his mouth attached itself to your bare neck, your legs spasming around his waist.

As you reached your fulfillment, he did so too, keep thrusting into you as thick ropes of cum spilled and filled you up.

Panting and gasps echoing in the room when the feeling of euphoria calmed down, plugging your entance as he fell down on you, crashing with his weight but in too much exhaustion to try and shake him off. Your hand went up to brush through his hair, waiting for him to make the next move, and with a hiss coming from your mouth he decided to pull away.

He pecked your lips before completely standing up. You watched him move around in silence, putting on underwear, taking a clean t-shirt of his and putting it on you, looking as if it was a dress.

He took a moment watching the cum ooze out, then going for a baby wipe in the bathroom and cleaning you down.

Feeling his arms picking you up bridal style, the softness of the sheets, he was spooning you, sighing before speaking up for the first time tonight, in a decent manner.

"I feel like I caught you off guard." You almost snorted at him, a smile growing on your face.

"You feel so?" He hummed.

"Was I too rough?"

"Mmh... yes, but I would've stopped you if something was troubling me." You told him in a whisper. He sighed though, snuggling his face into your hair, arms tightening around your waist. "I'll take it as you were mad at the suspension."

"Mad doesn't even cover everything. It wasn't even my fault, that asshole came onto me to cause trouble." You caressed his arms as he continued his rant. "They could've checked the VAR, they would have seen I moved away after he pushed me."

"They probably thought you were too much of a big guy to be thrown around so easily."

"That's stupid." He mumbled.

"It is. But it's done now, your head is finally in the clear and steamed off." You looked up at the nightstand, the time glowing in the dark, making you remember that public transport has its own limit. "I think it's my time to go-" You groaned.

You didn't want to leave his arms, but you also didn't want to blur the line of your relationship more or crossing it fully, keeping your feelings to the side if it meant keep on being a friend with him.

Yet, he couldn't let you leave, his arms tightened around you, not letting you move a single millimeter. "Stay." He mumbled.

Heartbeat increasing at his voice, at his soft plea for you. "After all I can't finish all that food alone."

You smiled, relaxing back in his embrace, humming and nodding in happiness that the feeling of home and peace you found in him, he found it in you. "Just stay with me, forever." He mumbled.

You were ready to do as he wished.

#blue lock smut #blue lock x reader #blue lock nagi #nagi seishiro #nagi seishiro x reader #bllk x reader #bllk smut #bllk nagi #seishiro nagi

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gaybananabread · 5 months

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Hii! I hope I'm doing this right 😅

The amazing digital circus, Lee Jax! Ler ragatha!

Banana,oranges,lemons please!! :3

Absolutely fine if your not able to do it but just a request :D

(oh no I forgot something 😅😭 Can the most focused on spot be the ears please!! Super sorry!)

Fruit(s): Bananas, Oranges, Lemons

You’re all good, Anon! Jax is such an ass and I’m here for it (⁠ ⁠´⁠◡⁠‿⁠◡⁠`⁠). I’ve been pretty sick this week, so I’m sorry if there’s any mistakes or quality issues (ミ⁠●⁠﹏⁠☉⁠ミ). Fair warning, the bunny man is quite the prick in this because I like bickering. Thank you for requesting, and I hope you Enjoy!

Lee: Jax

Ler: Ragatha

Summary: Jax is being a total brat, sassing and picking on all the other characters. Ragatha has enough, giving him a lesson on manners he won’t soon forget.

Warnings: none! This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!!

The Amazing Digital Circus was…an interesting place, to say the least. If one could get over the fact that a likely-sentient AI entity ran a digital fairgrounds that nobody could ever escape from, their minds twisting and going down a deep spiral of paranoia and uncertainty until they lost their sanity, it was kinda cool. That first part was a pretty big hang-up for most, though.

Jax, however, had grown pretty used to the madness. He had his wit and sarcasm as a coping method. Why worry about your own misfortunes when you can laugh at someone else’s? The rabbit took every opportunity he could to quip, snicker and poke fun at his fellow characters. He got on everyone’s nerves.

His antics really got to one being in particular: Ragatha.

She felt as if she could tear his ears off some days. Jax would always bully the others, but he had been horrible that day. Pomni was still getting used to things; the poor thing didn’t need another reason to fret. His jokes were only putting everyone on edge, and that jester was already on a narrow ledge… It needed to stop.

“Wow Gangle, I didn’t know you could actually do something productive. Color me shocked.” Jax hovered over her, looking down at the ribbon being’s drawing. It was some sort of fan art, though he couldn’t name the media. It didn’t look that accurate, and he wasn’t that much of a nerd before he put the headset on…

Before she could think to be shocked at the half-praise, he quickly put the dickery in his words. “Shame it’s too trashy to make out whatever you drew. This place is enough of an eye-sore as is.”

The tears on Gangle’s mask rippled as she sniffed, trying not to let his mean words get to her. It didn’t really work; she’d put a lot of effort into that… She clutched the drawing to her chest as she ran away, her mouth line quivering. Jax just chuckled, not really caring that she ran off. It was just a joke. Not his fault she couldn’t take it.

Ragatha put her hands on her hips, marching over to Jax. He rolled his eyes, preparing for the lecture. “JAX! What is wrong with you?! Gangle worked really hard on that! You…you need to quit being such a jerky prick!”

The wide smirk stuck, though his eyes widened slightly. It was hardly a solid insult, though coming from such a typically passive-aggressive person, it was surprising. Didn’t know she had it in her…heh.

Jax’s snarky smirk returned, his eyes forming amused crescents. Hello, new source of entertainment… “Relax, dollface! Crybaby’s fine. Just havin’ another pity party.”

She scoffed, letting her typically suppressed temper show. “Seriously? You told her that those amazing drawings were trashy! Why are you such a bratty bully?” Her tone was as curious as it was disappointed. Eugh…

“I’m not a bully. I just say what I see; not my fault you babies can’t handle the truth.” Okay, maybe he was going a bit further than he normally did. He was bored, and the banter was actually amusing. As long as he danced on the right side of the line, he’d be fine. “Like you. I mean, I get this place knows our minds or something, but it really nailed you. Trashy scraps and frayed yarn.”

This little…ugh! He was bringing out a side of Ragatha she didn’t know she still had. “Oh really? And what’s that make you, cotton tail? A bargain bin, carnival prize knock-off?”

Jax actually chuckled; finally, someone fun. “Nah, I’m just better. Taller, good-looking, not made of sewn together *boink*. I’d say it did me right.” He smirked, leaning in and getting to her level. “You found a nice 1830’s girl yet? They’re all about raggedy scraps.”

Oh, that was it! She glared, her upper lip curling as she reached for him. The lanky jerk leaned away just in time, taking off in the opposite direction. Okay, so it was possible to make her mad…totally worth it.

Ragatha chased after him, going over revenge plans in her mind. She normally tried to avoid conflict, but Jax was out of control. Rabbit stew seemed delicious, even if it would only be a simulation…

Jax tried to find literally any not-obvious spot to hide, but everything was ginormous and solid, a vengeful Ragatha on his heels. He just ran for his life. He might’ve made it, too, if he hadn’t tripped on something. “What the-” He went down, face-planting on the bouncy floor. Gloink…of course. He could’ve sworn it smirked at him, even though they had no mouths.

The doll was on him in seconds, quickly pinning him to the floor. For fabric and stuffing, she was pretty strong. Before he could think to fight back, his arms were pinned above his head, the girl straddling him and blocking his every escape. “W-woah doll! At least buy me dinner first!” That one was kinda stupid, but it was there.

The smoldering glare that comment received finally shut him up, if only for a moment. So many ideas, so little time… But she couldn’t do anything to hurt him. One, it wasn’t physically possible, and two, she was better than that. He still needed some kind of shove in the right direction… Ohohohooo, that’s perfect.

“I think you need to learn some hard lessons, Jax. Respect for your friends, and when to shut up.” The tone of her voice was surprisingly playful, even if it had a serious edge. He didn’t know whether to be scared or relieved.

He wasn’t sure what she was up to. That is, until he felt one of her mitten-esque hands on his stomach, wiggling into the furry surface. Unable to bite his lip, giggles slipped past his defenses, greeting the smug doll. “W-whahat the *bloink* ahare you dohohoing?!”

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m showing you what happens when you’re a snarky dork.” Ragatha smirked, keeping his hands pinned firmly above his head. “W-whehen dihid you gehehet strohohohong?!”

She tsked, trying not to take offense to that. “You need a filter, Jax. Apparently Caine’s isn’t enough. My way is a bit more…hands-on.” Ragatha went to town on his belly, digging her fabric fingers into his midsection.

Squealing, twisting and turning, Jax tried anything to escape. He might’ve had the height advantage, but when it came to strength and endurance, he was surprisingly out-matched. Also, apparently very ticklish. Shocks across the board.

Jax kicked his feet, the pads thumping against the floor. She cooed, teasing him further. “Aww, guess you really do live up to your character, Thumper.”

The tickling wasn’t even the worst part, though it did come in a close second. It was the teases. He honestly didn’t think she had it in her, but *sproing* he was wrong. Ragatha squeezed his hip, making him jolt and squeal. “R-RAHAhagathaha!” Okay, make that a tie.

His laughter, to Ragatha, was honestly adorable. Who knew a jerk like him could be so ticklish, much less have a laugh like that. It was bright, bubbly and uncontrollable. Hearing her friends laugh, no matter how rude, was something special. She could listen to it all day, though she didn’t quite plan on going that far.

While the silliness wasn’t hurting him, his pride was being battered to bits. No matter how much he wriggled and writhed under her, he couldn’t manage to break her hold or knock her off. Beyond that, she just had to keep exploring his spots. “Youhuhu lihittle- GYAAAHAHA! NAHAT THEHEHERE!” Like that one.

Ragatha's eyes widened as she rubbed the base of his ear, not expecting the spot to incite such a reaction. She wasn’t complaining, though. “Geez, Jax. These floppy ears are so sensitive! I have got to tell the others.” The doll switched between each ear, making sure neither felt left out. They twitched and flopped, but couldn’t avoid her skilled hand.

Even though he was the most prideful of all the characters, her tickling was really pushing his limits; he just couldn’t take any more. Abandoning his ego for a moment, he cried out. “O-OHOHOKAHAY! IHI’M SOHAHAHARRY! P-PLEHEHEASE NO MOHOHORE!”

She took that as her cue to quit, releasing his arms and climbing off him. The rabbit man immediately curled into himself, giggling like a toddler. She did notice, however, that he was still wiggling slightly, his closed eyes moving as if he had a twitching nose. He was clearly happy, though she bet he’d never admit it out loud.

“Y-youhuhu…youhu’re dehehead!” The threat would’ve been a lot more menacing if he didn’t look and sound like he’d had the time of his life. “Uh-huh, sure. Just try to be nicer, okay Giggles?” Ragatha pat his head, walking away and going to find Gangle. Knowing her, she would need similar treatment, though for very different reasons.

Jax took deep and giggly breaths as he tried to calm himself. That was…wow. He didn’t even think stimulation like that was possible in the Circus. Then again, Caine did say the only thing he couldn’t control were their minds. How his mind felt right then…he’d rather not talk about it. Her plan had worked; he’d definitely be thinking about that encounter for a while. Maybe not for the intended reasons, though…

#tadc tickle #kasey's fruit shop #lee!jax #ler!ragatha #ticklish!jax #sfw tickling community #tickle fic #tickle #fruit shop event #the amazing digital circus tickle #tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc jax #tadc ragatha #sfw tickle fic #jax is an asshole

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worrywrite · 1 year

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I'm still trying to wrap my mind around Men at Arms.

It's a fantastic book, but it is also so different from Guards! Guards! in tone. And maybe that's where the key is. It's not that the villain of the story is perhaps one of the most proficient killers in all of Discworld (all two and a half of them... D'Eath, Cruces, and The Gonne) and their goal is to actually kill. It's not even that the crimes that the watch are investigating are murder, because even though paid assassinations are legal death and murder are part of the setting. Death is literally a character here, though much more briefly than G!G!. Frankly, I don't even think it's because of the racial allegories.

The tone in Men at Arms is different because the first one to die is a clown. Because Pratchett literally killed the joke (the entire thing and all of its subsets). There's nothing funny about a clown funeral, the dogs are the biggest allegory for racial issues, a gun really is evil, Cuddy literally draws the short straw. It's all literal. Everything is extremely literal. For once, Ankh Morpork isn't a joke. For once, the city feels like a city. And it's the book where Carrot, the most literal character there is, becomes a man (literally and in every sense) and takes his mantle of leadership.

Everything in Men at Arms is literal. Because the villain killed the joke to death and it was the shining moment for Carrot to step up.

There's also an extensive running bit that even the silly construction of the silly, courtesy of Bloody Stupid Johnson, is actually stupid. Within the narrative itself, the book is calling itself out. It is saying that this absurd veneer that we have found ourselves on is just that. This city was built on itself, on its own bones, on the the bones of empires--fueled with the blood of many. The architecture beneath Johnson's flawed works, the aqueducts and sewer systems below the city, are vast and strong and powerful--maybe even beautiful. But they're dangerous. The past is incredibly dangerous. Even Carrot, whose potential is very much rooted in the past of the city, is dangerous. His victory is not one I expected in the moment it came. The line about how you must hope that whoever is looking at you from the other end of their weapon is an evil man... Was harsh and true and honestly a little frightening for a story which also contains a scene where a sentient rock man chucks a dwarf through the skylight of Schrodinger's pork warehouse to save both of their lives.

Perhaps this puts the rest of the book in context as well. Especially the things that made me cringe when I read them. Like everything about Coalface, Angua being included in the story because she was a woman and every book needs at least one (preferably one that can leap over a building or deadlift a draft horse), the high school clique-ificarion of all the guilds, Vimes talkin to the nobles after dinner and almost letting himself believe he could be like that (even though he ends up laying into them with some excellent biting sarcasm), Vetinari not being in control and not realizing it. It's all very real, but real like a real serial killer in real life and not a crime drama. Maybe even real like a normal guy in a costume with their mask off.

Maybe not.

It's not a perfect book (which bites, because G!G! was nearly there), but it remains a very intentional book. I feel like less people have read it than G!G!, and I can see why. It's messier, it's not as funny, there's a lot more allegory and it's a lot more blunt.

But it's still extremely topical (sadly). I retain my opinion that it may be one of the most important books I've ever read. And I'm beginning to understand, finally, why.

#gnu terry pratchett #Discworld #terry pratchett #city watch #guards guards #men at arms #literary analysis #short essay i guess

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evelhak · 1 year

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Seen so many bad jokes about autistic people's literal black & white thinking that I wanted to talk about how it might actually look like. Yeah, sure, haha it's very funny if you say you have to turn the place upside down and someone thinks you literally want to turn the house on its roof, but who would actually think that? Sure, that image would pop in my head but I wouldn't think that's what you meant. Like, most people can understand the meaning of common sayings they've heard all their lives, even if they did misunderstand them for the first few times of hearing them. So if you're trying to write an autistic character and you're not autistic, here's some examples that could be helpful.

My mom asked me to empty the dishwasher while she was at the store. Once she came back and went to the kitchen, I wanted to ask her something, don't remember what anymore, but she replied that she was admiring my work in the kitchen. To which I just laughed and continued with my initial question. At this point my mom was suddenly enraged and I didn't understand why, until it became clear that she had wanted me to both empty and fill the dishwasher, which I had not understood, and "admiring my work" was sarcasm because she thought I was just being lazy and did know what she had meant. And her rage came from the fact that she also assumed I had understood her sarcasm and chose to ignore it.

What I want a writer to take away from this is 1) there's an internal logic to my thought process and actions that is just as logical as my mom's. It's not random and once I understood where my mom was coming from there was no longer confusion. 2) I also learned from this and didn't repeat the same mistake ever again.

Once at the doctor's office I was given a list of about a 100 things that one should avoid eating if they have IBS. I took the list and went home, immediately started to follow the list for a month. Next time at the doctor's office I was asked if I had been using the list and which things I had been avoiding. I blinked in confusion. All of them of course. The doctor's eyes widened. "All of them??" I was just like... Yeah. Apparently I should have understood that I could pick and choose.

What I think is important here is that 1) autistic people aren't necessarily "rigid" as if that's negative. We tend to process things very deeply so we assume instructions are to be taken seriously. 2) Again I learned from this and remember to ask specific instructions more these days.

This happened a LOT with my girlfriend: she would say something half heartedly, like, she wanted to go to a movie, and I immediately began to arrange when we could go and when I asked her if that day was good she didn't even remember she had wanted to go to a movie anymore. Because it hadn't been a serious statement, just a thought. But I could not tell the difference between serious and non-serious wishes because the words used for them would be literally the same, and I default to seriousness.

Here I'd like to highlight how 1) this example is more complicated because this dynamic can apply to so many different situations that it's harder to not make the "same" mistake again. 2) The default assumption for me is that all of people's words have the same weight. Sure, I have learned to tell pretty well if people are joking, but when they are not exactly joking it's hard to tell the degree of seriousness.

Obviously I'm giving myself as just an example.

All in all, my point is I want writers to consider the LOGIC, the subjective reasoning behind a character's actions just like they would for any other character. You can't just copy and paste together a bunch of autistic traits with no rhyme or reason because the traits are just the outcome of an internal process. They are just the visible part. And for any individual just being autistic isn't enough of a reason to give them a specific trait you have to figure out why their specific autistic presentation is the way it is. Autism is just the label. It's not the explanation. You have to understand how the individual traits your character has, relate to each other and work together from inside out, if you actually want to create good representation.

Obviously I know this is hard. It's almost like it's difficult to think with a different brain type to your own. But that's something autistic people who are high maskers attempt everyday, and can be quite successful at too. But there are still "leaks". These examples are some of mine.

#actually autistic #writing advice #autistic characters

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im-not-batman · 6 months

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For the ask WIP game

Spideypool falling please 😊

Oh I LOVE this one!

It's a 5+1 of spideypool falling for eachother and then Falling For Eachother. Featuring Dadpool because I'm a big fan of his work (Ellie).

"It really creeps me out when you do that, Webs." Wade said, sinking deeper into Peter's beat-up couch and kicking his fluffy-sock-clad feet up onto the other half of it that Peter was perched above. "I like sitting up here, sends all the blood to my brain so that I can beat you quicker," Peter reasoned and as if on queue the tinny TV speaker announced yet another victory. "You're such an asshole, Baby Boy," Wade smirked up at him, sounding more proud than annoyed. He threw a couple of M&Ms up for Peter to catch in his mouth, "do the other heros know how much of an asshole their comrade is?" Around his mouthful of chocolate and peanuts, he grinned, "I save all my worst bits for you, Wade." It was true too. He always felt like he needed to pose and posture around his fellow superheroes. Even though he'd come into his own as Spider-man over the last ten years, he still yearned for their approval and strived for their respect. Around Wade though, there was no need to pretend he was any better than he actually was. He didnt feel the need to constantly be on his best behaviour. Peter let his sass and sarcasm, disdain and irritation, good moods, bad moods and everything inbetween run rampant around Deadpool. And he never felt like he was being judged or evaluated. Just admired. Ecouraged even. "I'm touched," he said, throwing up another handful of M&Ms. This time Peter didn't react quick enough, lost in thought, and missed them.

Instead Wade caught the chocolates in his own mouth. Which shouldn't have been a thing but Peter's brain was making it a thing. He couldn't figure out if it was the ease with which he caught them – Peter's attraction to competency rearing it's ugly head – or the fact that the M&Ms were intended for his mouth and were now in Deadpool's. Either way, Peter's brain was doing some sort of horny gymnastics to rationalise it as tonsil tennis by-proxy. He watched Wade's throat bob as he swallowed. Peter's concentration was decidedly broken. He slipped. Usually that wouldn't be an issue; usually he'd have fallen from a much greater height and thus had more time to catch himself. But he was hanging from the ceiling this time. Granted, it was a relatively high ceiling, but not high enough. He let out an indecipherable jumble of a scream/shout/warning and Wade managed to dive out of the crash zone in time to not be knocked out by a 170 pound moron. When Peter didn't feel the heavy, throbbing pain of head trauma, he managed to gather his wits enough to realise that his head hadn't made contact with anything.

After another moment, he realised that Wade had seemingly managed to get his hand between Peter's skull and the floor. He still found himself uncomfortably contorted - half on the couch, half off, in a sort of human pretzel situation - but Wade had reacted in enough time to keep his head from cracking against the ground. And he was still holding him that way.

Peter's brain stopped working again. "Sorry," Wade said, trying to right the hero so that he was no longer lying at a downward 45 degree angle with legs akimbo, "Dad reflexes."

Peter wanted to scream. "You're apologising for saving me from a concussion?" Peter attempted to tease but it fell flat when he saw Wade's face, "Are you okay?" He let out a choked laugh, "Am I okay?" He asked incredulously, "you just fell eight feet." "And yet you're the one looking a bit loopy," Peter half laughed but wasn't able to keep the worry from seeping into his tone. "You scared the shit outta me, thought you were gonna go splat!" Deadpool justified. "From that height? Child's play. If I'd splatted, I'd have deserved it." It was a joke but Wade didn't seem to find it funny. "You should look after yourself better, Petey," he looked like he realised he was being too serious then, and his demeanor visibly shifted, "you don't regenerate, so you gotta look after that sinfully gorgeous meat suit of yours."

Ty ty for the ask! I really wanna get back into writing these two, I love them so much 🥲

Send me an ask with which of my WIPs from This Post you wanna hear about!

#spideypool #spiderman x deadpool #spiderman #deadpool #peter parker #wade wilson #marvel fic #spideypool fic #fanfic wip #ask game #roo answers

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amorisastrum · 8 days

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How to use tone tags! :D

Because @flaming-green asked and also neurodivergence !!

Long post woah

Commonly used tone tags:

/j = joke

/hj = half joke

/ly or /lyr = lyrics

/pos = positive

/neg = negative

/lh = light hearted

/nm = not mad

/s or /sarc = sarcastic

/nbh = no body here (this is used alongside a rant/vent that has not named a specific person- people may think you are talking about them and spiral)

/genq = genuine question

/nf = not forced

/plat = platonic

/r = romantic

/srs = serious

/t = teasing

Why use tone tags?:

Tone can be a very difficult thing to pick up, especially through text. Use of punctuation and capital letters and certain word choices can make a sentence seem completely different. For example, if I received a text saying "Come see me right now." I would instantly think I was in trouble and would panic. However, if I received that same message with a "/nm" I would feel much better about the situation. People use punctuation in different ways as well! I personally use exclamation marks to show how excited I am !! While for others, a multitude of exclamation marks could indicate sarcasm. Same with the use of emojis. I personally use some emojis to indicate sarcasm, but I know people who use those same emojis to indicate... Well, what the emoji is showing. So, to use a tone tag avoids any sort of miscommunication.

When to use tone tags?:

Deciding when to use tone tags can be difficult. I personally use tone tags when I reread a message and realise it is ambiguous in tone, or when I reread it, it sounds more aggressive or rude than I intended it to be.

If somebody asks you what you mean by a message, this is probably a sign that you need a tone tag of sorts. Not all people are going to interpret things the way you intend them to be, so tone tags as a whole are helpful to avoid miscommunication. Sometimes the context of the message being sent can change someone's perception so tone tags are not always needed e.g. "omg I love you so much! You're so awesome!" This may be seen as genuine, while "omg you're so awesome." Can be seen as sarcastic. It depends on how that person's brain works.

If you are talking directly with one person, or a small group of people, and you know their typing habits (such as using emojis for sarcasm or use of punctuation) then tone tags may be needed less! But if you are talking to a group of people, such as on Tumblr, it may be easier to use tone tags as more people will see what you've said and... Well people may not understand what you meant!

Some words may have different connotations through different contexts, such as the word "silly". But sometimes people may not understand that context. I typically use Silly in a positive way, but at one point I referred to a character I didn't like as a "silly man" with my friend who had no clue who this character was. To them, this meant I liked this character, which left them confused when I started talking about them in a bad way. So, I started adding "/neg" anytime I meant silly in a negative way to avoid confusion.

Other tone tag things:

Try and avoid piling of tone tags at the end of a message/post as this can be confusing. Id say try to use no more than 2, 3 at a maximum.

If you're cutting into the middle of a message with a tone tag, you can use brackets, but you don't have to! Do what makes you comfortable.

Use punctuation where you see fit.

You don't have to use tone tags for every message you send/everything you post! Use them when YOU think the tone could be ambiguous or if someone has directly asked you what you mean.

You don't have to know every tone tag ever. I've been using tone tags for a good 2 maybe 3 years now and I mainly use /nm, /j, /srs, /sarc and /pos.

I also use /silly, which I'm not sure is an actual tone tag. I use this if something I say seems passive aggressive or if I am in fact just being silly.

I hope this has helped! Tone tags are something that help me communicate with people and make me more comfortable! And I hope they can make it easier for you to communicate as well :]

Also sorry if this makes little sense it is 2am. Feel free to add any more information in reblogs or replies!!

#tone tags #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #tone indicators #percy rambles #long post #there was another paragraph #and then i accidentally deleted it because silly mobile app #and i forgot what it said #(I'm going to try and sleep now goodnight)

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let-tyrants-fear · 3 months

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Percy Jackson Careers

I'm tired of everyone writing Percy as a marine biologist, so I've compiled a list of jobs he would actually have as an adult.

Teacher. Specifically a middle school Latin teacher, modeled after his year in Chiron/Mr. Brunner’s class. Maybe he just does it because he likes kids and likes teaching, maybe he works as like a long-term sub to get into schools where they think there are half-bloods. I don’t know, but I could totally see him as a teacher in some capacity, and I think he would work really hard to make sure that none of his students feel the way he did in school.

Underwater archaeologist. This is a real thing. There are a lot of shipwrecks that are accessible and provide valuable resources, as well as a lot of ancient sites that are now underwater as a result of shifting coastlines and changes in sea level. @phykios has a great post about Percy as an underwater archaeologist here.

Plumber. Because he is after all Supreme Lord of the Bathroom.

Electrician. Because he loves to mess with the gods. He becomes an electrician as a 'fuck you' gesture to Zeus.

Demigod Union Rep. I know we all joke about how Percy ‘pay your damn child support’ Jackson essentially appointed himself as the demigod union rep at the end of The Last Olympian, but what if they made that official? He takes a class on Ancient & Immortal Laws in college, and now demigods call him in whenever they’re having issues with a god. They all pay “union dues” so he can collect a salary of sorts.

Aquarium worker. There are several possible routes Percy could take to work in an aquarium. I've listed a few ideas below.

Presenter/Educator. Like, the guy who does the little shows for kids and shows all the school groups around. Percy is great with kids, and I think he’d have so much fun presenting, but also just interacting with kids and families visiting the aquarium.

Aquarist. This is apparently a real word for a person who takes care of fish, which my sister discovered by googling 'zookeeper but aquarium.' Anyway, Percy would be the person who cleans their tanks and sets their diets and provides enrichment, etc. Also, accredited aquariums would have a research branch to study fish and observe behavior, and Percy would be super helpful because he could just. Ask the fish.

Social media manager. He would have so much fun posting memes and fun facts on the aquarium's social media accounts, and I think his sarcasm would make him a huge hit on the internet, a la Oklahoma Department of Wildlife Conservation. Plus, I think he would spread fish gossip all over Twitter.

If you have any more, please feel free to add them!

#no shade to the people who write him as a marine biologist #but we as a fandom can do better #pjo #percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians

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luveline · 2 years

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Hiya darling, can I request a little (best friends) lap sitting blurb with a guy of your choice?

Hope you are having a lovely day 💛

tysmilysm! u sit on steves lap and antagonise him!! ♡ fem!reader

Steve!" you all but scream.

Steve drops his head to the side to see past Robin where she's sitting on the arm rest. "Hey, short stuff? Where the fuck have you been?"

You waltz through partygoers and propel yourself into his lap. Steve winces at the sudden force of your weight and then laughs as you wrap your arms around his neck, the smell of you heavy in his nose. You're half perfume, half alcohol.

"You smell like a minibar," he complains, arm behind your back to support your wobbling frame.

"I taste like one," you promise.

He leans back against the couch cushions. "I don't wanna know."

"I do," Robin says, sounding delighted.

You make a kissy face at her. You look really pretty as you do, though you're joking.

Robin smiles at you fondly. "Steve's right. You do smell like a minibar. Drunk much?"

Your laugh is devious. Life ruining. "They made mimosas."

"That doesn't explain why you smell like straight tequila," Steve says.

"Mimosas, not samosas, idiot."

"He's not an idiot," you say. Even drunk your sarcasm survives. "He just got dropped as a baby."

Steve sinks further into the couch. "I told you that in confidence."

"Ah, confidence," you say, lolling your head and batting your eyelashes.

He can feel a blush coming fast to his cheeks. "Fuck off. Where's Munson?"

"Why do you care where Eddie is?" you ask.

"Don't say it like that. I know he had something to do with this." He gestures to you.

"This is all my own invention, Stevie," you drawl, running your hand down his chest. He goes scarlet. "Got this wasted all… by… myself."

Your face is very close to his face.

Robin tugs you back by the shoulder with a long suffering laugh. "You get so promiscuous when you drink."

"I'm always promiscuous."

"What did you want?" Steve asks.

You grumble. "You don't have to say it like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you don't love my company."

He huffs and finally lets you collapse against him, rolling his eyes at Robin over your head as he scrubs a rough hand up your back. He can feel you melting, all your softness pushing against him.

"I just wanted to mess with you," you say hot into his neck.

He shifts your weight in his lap and clears his throat. "Consider me messed with," he says, much quieter than he means to.

#steve harrington x y/n #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x you #steve harrington drabble #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington fanfic #robin buckley x reader platonic #stranger things x reader #stranger things fic #fem!reader #steve harrington x fem!reader

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