#I'm fucking insane

[oh-snapperss]

creature comfort

“We won’t win today,” Cleo says, and Etho knows she’s right. Knows their time has been running out since the first secret was whispered to them in voices all too familiar, has known that this day was coming, has known that all this time, it’s not been a question of if–it’s been a question of when. 

They’re going to die today. Distantly, Etho wonders if the domesticity they’ve worked for will die with them, or if it will follow them back home. 

Will his home ever be a physical place again? Home is where the hearth is, where the warmth is, where the world is shut out and it’s just the three of them. 

Home is where Cleo is. 

“That’s alright,” Etho smiles instead of voicing all of that, wishing, of all things, that he didn’t still have that awful cough that Cleo had insisted he rest over for a few days. “We’ll be alright.” 

They’ll be dead–and what are the dead, if not alright? The dead don’t have coughs, or pain, or fear. They’re just dead. Etho thinks he might not mind it so much, this time. He’s finally learned to spend his time wisely, and he’s built a home no flaming arrow could ever take down. 

Just by the cow pen, there’s a stupid little porch Etho had built a while back. They’re nowhere near it now, but every night he and Cleo had watched the sunset, drank a final cup of tea, and turned in to sleep over gossip and giggles only they could draw from each other this time ‘round. Before, Bdubs had made him laugh like that–now, Etho wonders how long before there’s a sword at his throat. 

Even so, while Cleo laughs and watches him set Scar’s porch on fire, Etho hopes he might have the privilege of watching the sunset from the porch one last time. He’d survive the day, if only for another sunset with Cleo. 

BANG. 

Tango’s gone–Etho knows it in his heart. Surely he should feel an ache for him, should ask how he went. Instead, it’s easy to accept it. 

The wardens are fun. That’s all they are, now. Before, they had been terrors, then the answer to a desperate prayer he and Grian had made. The carnage of those terrifying beasts feel muted compared to before, but with the wind flying through his hair, the elated cries of Cleo in front of him, Etho can’t care. Not this time. They lead two clear to the middle of the server before they’ve decided to finish having their fun, and Cleo’s just stepping up some rocks when she says it. 

“You’re my favorite, you know that? You’ve always been my favorite.” 

He does know, he does know now. He’d guessed it that first sunset, when Cleo sat down with a giddy smile to recount their day. He’d thought it, when she’d wrapped a blanket around his shoulders after his failures and rested her head on his shoulder without a word. He’d lived it, when she had shouted that she would kill him if he tried to kill her–but was reassured otherwise that night on the porch again, with the curse ebbing from his bones. 

Today, he knows it in the blatant rebellion against what’s supposed to be the end, the dread, the fear. 

“You’re mine too.” Etho grins back, and knows that they’ll see his smile even through the mask–knows they’ve come to recognize it in his tone and way his eyebrows scrunch together. . 

They wind up in the sky base with Grian–Grian, who hasn’t quite reached the same conclusion they have. Etho knows by the shadows under his eyes he won’t give up, that he’ll fight clear to the end. Once upon a season, Etho had been the same. 

Not this time. Never this time. 

Around ten minutes to sunset, Etho and Cleo set down their dripstone and bows, and sit on the edge of the cobblestone wall. 

“I don’t think we’re gonna make it back to our base for it this time,” Etho jokes, nudging his shoulder into Cleo’s. Cleo laughs, a carefree thing, and wrinkles her nose. 

“I don’t think we’re gonna make it back for it any time, if we’re being honest.” She leans back, one hand half behind her to support her weight. 

“I know,” Etho says. He brings his leg up to his chest, wrapping his arms around it. Behind them, cobblestone is placed–Grian, ever the survivor. “It was nice, though.” 

“It was nice!” Cleo beams. “Are you alright with this?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Etho hums. “‘s not so bad. Dying with a friend.” 

“It won’t be,” Cleo agrees. 

Because that’s just it, isn’t it? Etho’s never died like this–he’s died at the flames of an arrow shot while protecting his king, he’s died in fights after his allies were killed. Hell, he’s died hand in hand with a soulmate hellbent on killing him now–but he’d been in a frenzy then, a rage-induced thing meant to burn up the place that had never been a true home to them. 

He thinks he won’t mind dying with someone. 

The sun sets in brilliant hues of orange and pink, and they sit together, this final tradition not lost in the face of inevitability. Just as the first star twinkles, Grian comes over, hoisting them back to their feet. 

“They’re coming,” he says. 

It’s time. 

They shoot a few arrows, break some dripstone, all to no avail–but that’s alright, he’s got Cleo, and they’ve got him. 

But oh, the games are never kind, are they? Etho slips, his foot landing weird somehow–and he’s whistling through the air towards the ground at a speed too fast. It knocks the breath from his lungs when he lands–does he hit the clutch? Stars, he doesn’t actually know, because there’s arrows shot at him, shouts of glee from the hunters, and suddenly Etho’s not Etho, he’s just prey–and prey only know to do one thing. 

Run. 

Etho flies forward, dragging his sword out. There’s not many safe spaces left on the server–stars, Grian had even mentioned their base was but a crater in the hill. 

But the porch… the porch was intact. Supposedly. 

He enderpearls, and enderpearls again, and it’s still not enough. The screams behind him are closer, and closer, and then further–and oh, Etho knows it’s time. He’s dead, he’s gone, he’ll be but a wisp of the wind in a few minutes whether he likes it or not. 

And he won’t die by Cleo. 

Cleo, Cleo, Cleo. Oh, he’d not meant it to be like this. He’d meant to die with a smile, right by her side–just as they were meant to die by his. This wasn’t the plan, this wasn’t the plan. A sob claws its way up his throat, the beginnings of the blind panic he’d never meant to feel tonight. He’s going to die, alone, without the comfort of his Cleo. 

Home. He wants to go home. 

Home is in the air, a hundred blocks above him. He’ll never make it–but he can make it back to the porch, the one place of peace. Now, he can feel the twinge of something broken in his ankles, probably from the fall–and the cuts, the bruises, the blood scent thick in his nose. He’s so tired. 

He wants to die at home, he wants to die at home. 

“Oh, he sounds like a wounded animal… let’s put him out of his misery.” A voice said. Cold fear grips Etho’s heart, and he stumbles forward–the porch is in sight!

Let him die at home. Let him die at home. 

A shadow fills his vision, and Etho’s not even had time to lift his shield before blinding pain fills his stomach, and it’s over. 

He’s not allowed that creature comfort of dying at home. 

#secret life #secret life smp #ethoslab #zombiecleo #cletho #secret life spoilers #my fics #tw death #I don't have an explanation at all for this #Is this cohesive?? i wrote it in a daze. in under thirty minutes #if it's not great OH WELL #this is how i am coping #god i'm never gonna feel okay again about them #never ever #i'm fucking insane #bursts into tears

[ode2rin]

we need more rin thoughts from you pretty please 🎀 mimi please 🎀 help us get through this shitty economy please 🎀

since you asked so nicely 😭

you've heard my take on orange peel theory and now i present to you... itoshi rin and the hedgehog's dilemma :D i know i have a draft about this somewhere lmao anws here it goes!

hedgehog's dilemma is abt a group of hedgehogs who want to huddle together for warmth in the winter but can't stop themselves from sticking each other with their sharp spines. it's a metaphor for people wanting intimacy but inevitably push people away :D

i just think rin has this huge dilemma.. especially before the two of you became a couple.

btw there's just no way itoshi mf rin is confessing first, i'm sorry to break it to you rinnie lovers. no matter how painfully obvious that he likes you or no matter how much teasing he gets - there's just no way so you gotta take one for the team 🙏🏻 and when you confess? it's a hundred percent probability he's going to reject you and pushes you away. yup. tough life i know.

but it's not because he doesn't like you back. how can anyone not tell he likes you? he does a POOR job in hiding it, he thinks he's so slick and nonchalant but man is literally brooding next to you most of the time, scaring other people who shows the slightest hint of hitting on you. he knows your orders by heart, the type to walk to the waiter and say "they said NO pickles". offers you the first bite of his food. and not only does he know the sidewalk rule, but mf puts his hands in table and counter corners instinctively when you crouch down. even unconsciously leaving the space next to him for you to sit during group lunch breaks, and the twitch of his mouth when you sit beside him? a goner for you, really. bachira even told him he looks "mellow" when you're around (wc btw earned a lot of snickers in disbelief because itoshi rin??? mellow???? like, do we know the same person babe?)

i'm a firm believer that rin is a "fell first ➔ ignore it, it will pass it's just a stupid crush what am i?? 10?? ➔ SHIT i can't fucking ignore it *panics* ➔ then fell even harder (but denies it still)" type. when rin realized he likes you, he lets out a laugh in utter disbelief. like he just Laughed on his own... followed by an abundance of curse words... then his mind went blank for a minute then fear and self-doubt crept in.

for someone who has an ego as massive as the ocean, self-sabotage goes crazyyyy in that man's head i swear to god especially when it concerns you. you, ever so bright and pretty, you, who for some reason chose to look at him. rin will probably think at some point that you must be incredibly stupid to choose to like someone like him. actually, what the hell were you thinking. he was supposed to hide these shitty feelings until it leaves him and now you're saying you like him too!! what the hell is going to do now? push you away, that is.

but don't worry :3 just a tiny push, some missing you hours, and maybe some sprinkles of jealousy will make him come banging on your door and taking the rejection back 👍🏻

so yeah. getting together with rin is gonna be such a long ride because of his personal issues but god, does he make it so worth it when you're finally together.

#insane #i'm fucking insane #you're lucky i miss him #letters to mimi ✿ #mimi's 999+ ideas #itoshi rin

[my--moon]

When you listen to that one song that triggers so many old happy memories and now your crying because you'll never get that stage of your life back and your stuck as you are

#hell is a teenage girl #girlblogging #girlblogger #lana del rey #lana del ray aka lizzy grant #lana del ray aesthetic #lana is god #lana del slay #ldr lyrics #lanadelrey #norman fucking rockwell #Coquette #female manipulator #female hysteria #I'm fucking insane

[indashadows]

Me watching the new episode like... IT WAS AMAZING? WHOLESOME? EVERYBODY WAS HAPPY IN THE END??? NANDOR ADMITTED HE WAS JEALOUS JUST LIKE THAT??

#wwdits #So much happened!! #Guillermo telekinesis!! #Nadja doll was so cute all stretching everywhere?? #LASZLO IN THE SUN??? #Colin Robinson likes THE DOLL BODY ONLY AHAHAH #JEALOUS NANDOR AND HE WENT TO SPACE TO IMPRESS GUILLERMO AND HE TOLD US THAT??? #GUILLERMO LITTLE DANCE AT THE END??? #I'm fucking insane #I swear this might be one of the best episodes so far #season 5 spoilers #wwdits season 5 #Spoiler #Wwdits s5 spoilers #Ep3

[hermannsprecursors]

Cringetober day 17: Fake anime screenshot

I ended up making these DAYS ahead because I REALLY just wanted to draw Chulu in a '90s anime style. This is the result and I'm actually SUPER proud of it and really really want to draw more. Might add a special section to my upcoming commission sheet just for these so I have an excuse to draw more content in this style...

Okay so when is the Star Trek TOS anime remake dropping

#cringetober #cringetober 2023 #fake anime screenshot #star trek #star trek tos #star trek the original series #nyota uhura #pavel chekov #hikaru sulu #chulu #i mean its only chulu if you squint but #still #i'm fucking insane #helm husbands #JUST LEARNED THEYRE CALLED THAT BTW #HELM HUSBANDS THAT SO CUTE #SOBBING

[picavecalyx]

it was so fucking funny yesterday morning i was talking to my friend and they were like "it makes me happy that i'm not that insane in comparison to you-" AND I JUST AJIOSFJIOAJIOSFAJIOSFJIOASJIFO

#ooc. #IT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY #AND VERY TRUE #i'm fucking insane #delete

[sov-hobby-blog]

Hear me out,a setting where you pitch this:

And this:

Against one another and just go apeshit with it

#sov posting #future plans #i'm deranged #i'm fucking insane

[cgspirl]

ouahg [death]

i'm literally the only person here who gives half-a-shit about ryder because i am. insane and cool but mostly insane

i haven't slept right in the 3 weeks after seeing this movie thank you mr peele for the visceral psychological damage /lh

#nope #nope movie #nope 2022 #ryder muybridge #i'm fucking insane #scotty's ramblings on the wall #scotty's silly lil art showcase #emerald is also there but you like. #it's a squint #nope fanart #writing is art i'm not getting into this argument with people anymore #nope fanfiction #i'm having fun this is fun i have severe brain damage this is great #nope film #jordan peele

[andi-o-geyser]

a full SAGA of chaos choices at the diner in the centre of your mind

#so in summary: #coffee grounds; room temp vodka; the feeling of first having root beer; coffee and bacon; maple syrup; grenadine; and a calzone #they are all so insane and i love them for it #and also its such a perfect representation of a brain #bc like! yeah! that IS what my thoughts are bouncing between when i'm asked what i want for a meal! i am that fucking bonkers sometimes!! #dimension 20 #dimension 20 mentopolis #mentopolis #mentopolis spoilers #d20 #dnd #brennan lee mulligan #hunch curio #anastasia tension #conrad schintz #the fix #imedla pulse #dan fucks #alex song xia #hank green #danielle radford #freddy wong #siobhan thompson #mike trapp #d20 cast #long post #andis thought geyser

[dancefloors]

Right now Israel's bombing Rafah, the last refuge for a million Palestinians, where they were previously ORDERED to evacuate to and are now trapped in while the US news cycle is dominated by Big Football Game And Celebrities In Attendance (at which Israel also aired a million dollar propaganda video). I wish I could say this is unbelievable.

#two zionists lacing up their boots to take the stage while Israel is targeting mosques and areas near hospitals at the one refuge left #I actually feel like I'm going insane #and the geriatric hag at the wheel of that country who's name rhymes with snow pie den is tweeting 'ah superbowl!' #like girl get the fuck up and kill yourself first of all

[sapsolace]

obsessed w these boneheads as of late :]

#griddlehark #tlt #the locked tomb #gideon nav #harrowhark nonagesimus #gtn #when u and the situationship livin it up in a haunted palace... FO FREE!!!!! #i wanted 2 do a background 4 this but college and work have been kicking my ASS so #figured i should just post it and move on i got other sketches and wips #anyways hello tlt fans do not expect me 2 draw anything the same twice. love u <3 #in this kitchen we fuck it And we ball. no artistic sameness and we like it that way. i also serve food once a month #stay at your own risk #i've been going insane over tlt by myself on my side acc and the longer i have no one 2 talk abt nona grief with #the more art i will pop out. but also pls i need 2 talk abt this shit w someone i'm coughing and dying out here

[a-gay-fucking-dumass]

HEY LOOK WHAT I DID TO MY CEILING FAN!!!!! THERES BARBIES!!!!!

#Evil #Sysco #Barbie #Barbie ded #I'm fucking insane

[transformers-earthspark]

IMPORTANT: TUMBLR HAS MADE A DEAL WITH MIDJOURNEY/OPENAI.

YOUR ART AND IMAGES ON TUMBLR ARE BEING USED TO TRAIN AI MODELS.

The opt-in is automatic, but you can turn it off in settings.

Go to "Blog Settings" -> "Visibility" -> "Third-Party Sharing" and turn on "Prevent third-party sharing for [blog]". (This post shows how to do it on browser and on mobile.) You need to do this with every sideblog. (Note: The option in settings might not appear if your app hasn't updated yet. You can still opt out via browser.)

Spread the word. Everyone on Tumblr needs to know about this.

#>> mod: firefly #edited for clarification & to add instructions for turning off on mobile #disclaimer: yes i'm putting this in the transformers tags. this is important and artists need to know their work is being stolen #my apologies for the non-earthspark post (again) but this is fucking insane #i am so unbelievably angry. fuck ai and fuck tumblr for doing this #earthspark #transformers earthspark #transformers #tfes #tfe #tf earthspark #maccadam #edit: holy hell i think this breached containment a bit #which is good; people need to know about this #but also wow my notifications 0.0

[taskhusbands]

Taskmaster S16E08 Outtake

#hello yes hi i'm going fucking insane #taskmaster #taskhusbands #alex horne #greg davies #daddy greg #touching #outtakes #s16 #pet names #those rumours on the internet

[hamartia-grander]

It's truly so funny letting Astarion drink your blood when you aren't romancing him and absolutely do not want to. Like I'm so sorry man I know you're really laying it on thick with the "sweet thing" and "darling" and lascivious innuendos but I'm literally just being a bro. I don't mind you drinking my blood because I care about you, as a homie tho. Sorry.

#I'm also a lesbian like I'm sorry it's never happening. #I'd romance Wyll tho. He's gorgeous. And so insane and fucked up but he doesn't think he is which makes it better #Obsessed with Wyll #But the ladies have all my heart and attention #Bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #Astarion #astarion ancunin #bg3 astarion #bg3 memes

[tizzymcwizzy]

hey so ignore the fact that this is what got me out of a month long hiatus

#hes so fucking cringe i hate him #INSANE INSANE I'M INSANE I HAVNT DRAWN ON MY LAPTOP ON FOREVER WHAT THE FUCK #anyway. he ate #miraculous ladybug #chat noir #claw noir #griffe noire #ml #mlb #miraculous #my art #paris special #ml paris special #mlb paris special #miraculous ladybug into the reverse #god that name is so bad wtf djhdhsgdjg