#I’m sorry lol

[dragonstar2568]

Every time one of (his) The kids or Eddie do something they weren’t supposed to Steve always gives them the same rant about how they could have gotten hurt or lost how they could have died. Que Eddie doing something stupid, where he could have gotten hurt.

The second eddie (and the kids following behind to watch him get yelled at) see Steve with his arms already crossed he knows he fucked up, so he tells him :

Steve: (arms on hips) (starts to open his mouth)

Eddie: (hangs his head down) I’m so sorry, I know what I did was reckless and wrong, I could have died or gotten hurt, I know I scared you and I shouldn’t have brought the kids along and it would have been all my fault if something had happen to them or me, I know you love us and don’t wanna see us get hurt. I love you too and I will clean your car and take the kids to school all week as punishment. I will be up our room to think about what I did.

The kids : (shocked)

Steve: (shocked & speechless) y-yes you will. a-And don’t do that again?

Eddie: (kisses Steve on the cheek) I won’t

Mike: What the fuck ?!

Dustin: He just gets off Scott free!?

Steve: (still in a daze) w-

Eddie: (walking into the house) Watch your mouth Mike.

#this is so stupid #steddie #steve x eddie #eddie x steve #incorrect quotes #I’m sorry lol #but it would be cute and funny at the same time

[genshin-obsessed]

“I belong to you.”

As far as Blade knew, there was only one person in his life that he was eternally loyal to. But you see, he couldn’t admit it. Every time he saw you, his heart pounded in his chest, his eyes followed you, and his mind was filled with images of you. He became distracted and easy to beat. Even Silver Wolf had criticized him for it.

Something within his very dwindling soul called out to him, conveying these confusing feelings he dealt with on a near daily basis. His mouth couldn’t say the words, but his heart had already solidified it.

Whether you were with him or not, whether he saw you or not, whether you even remembered him or not… Blade knew he just belonged to you.

Restless nights lead him to wonder what history you two had. None as far as he knew. None as far as Kafka knew. You even seemed a stranger to Dan Heng, someone he had history with. So why did he feel the way he did. The unending pain and sorrow of loneliness was suddenly quelled by a single thought of you. Not so unending now, was it?

Blade knew you. How? He didn’t know. But you existed somewhere in his past once upon a time. You had to.

That or he was insane.

No. Being able to recall every single feature of your face when he closed his eyes after only seeing you two times… that wasn’t insanity. Being able to remember your voice without ever hearing you speak wasn’t insanity. Being able to smell your lovely scent without ever being near you wasn’t insanity.

Blade was cursed, but he wasn’t insane. Not just yet, anyway. Every passing day he became more and more assured he knew you at some point.

But… there was just one problem. He couldn’t find you. At first, he figured you were upon the Astral Express, but when Silver Wolf had visited the Trailblazer, she confirmed you weren’t on board and never had been. The Trailblazer didn’t even know who you were.

So, you weren’t part of the crew. Just who were you? That question popped up in the Stellaron Hunter’s mind more than once in a given day. More than ten times. More than fifty.

Ok, maybe he was going crazy.

But there was one thing he was sure of. So sure, he would abandon everything just to prove it. He would betray anyone just to see you and talk to you.

“I know I belong to you…” his hoarse voice pierced the silent atmosphere as Blade stared at himself in the mirror in his darkened room. He placed a hand on his chest, feeling his slow heartbeat. His calm heartbeat. All it took was one thought of you. “The day I find you, I’ll ask you to take me back… no matter what that takes.”

For now, Blade was alone and his mind was plagued with thoughts of a person he couldn’t even find. But he hoped when he did see you, you’d have some answers for him.

#blade x reader #hsr blade #honkai star rail blade #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail #gender neutral reader #🖊─ pocky’s writings #honkai star rail angst #angst #this wasn’t meant to be angst? #but it ended up being somehow? #I’m sorry lol

[dooberific]

alhaitham x eremite!afab!reader

wc: 1.2k

genre: nsfw with a dash of pet names, light exhibitionism, and creampie bc wtf not

summary: guess you better look under the cut and find out for yourself huh?

You hated Alhaitham.

You hated his dismissive attitude, his condescending tones and sharp replies.

You hated how good he was at manipulating people, how easily he could get what he wanted with minimal effort, how perfectly he had constructed his life and career to cater to his every tiny whim while having the audacity to act bothered.

But what you hated the most about him?

How easily he had got your name added to a group of Driyosh heading to investigate the Khaj-Nisut.

How he knew you wouldn’t refuse the chance and that you would be indispensable in their search for more information on King Deshret’s tomb as you were from a proud Eremite clan.

How easily he had split you away from the rest of the group under the guise of watching your interpretation of the glyphs carved into the walls.

How quickly he had cornered you in the quiet of the abandoned Throne room of King Deshret, and how effective he was at making your body betray itself.

“Shhh, you don’t want them to find you like this now do you?” He chided in your ear. Some part of you despised how calm his voice sounded now, yet that little gripe died quickly at the hand of his ministrations that left you quietly gasping, back arching against his chest as his thick fingers pumped into your pussy.

Your skirt was hiked up past your ass, your panties soaked through with the juices he coaxed out of your body. Your tits spilled out of your blouse, nipples peaked from the chill of the crypt that was a harsh contrast to the hot breath of the Scribe which fanned over your neck as he trailed wet kisses down the column of your throat. Your entire body trembled as he inserted another finger, his long digits curling deeply inside your walls, probing for that spongy spot that would have your knees weak and your head fuzzy from ecstasy.

He knew the exact moment he found it, your body stiffening with a gasp as your hands braced tightly to his arms, as if trying to fight him away from your most intimate places. He didn’t budge, fingers curling into that spot where he could feel your gummy walls clamp tighter around his fingers, his thumb venturing up to roll your clit under its pad.

“Haitham!” You choked out, jerking in his arms as your hips tried to flee from the onslaught only to end up pressing deeper into his own, feeling the stiff outline of his cock straining in his pants against your ass.

So badly you wished you could control your body, yet the foggy haze settling into your brain spurred you on to chase the high that was riding the fingers of the Akademiya’s Scribe in the throne room of the god of your people. Surely you had relinquished your spot in heaven now, hips rolling in an attempt to stimulate yourself further on his fingers.

You could feel a chuckle reverberate through his chest. “You like that, princess?” He mused, rolling your clit in tight and harsh circles, thriving for how your mouth fell open so dumbly, how you begged for his attention, for the breathy gasps of his name already falling from your kiss bitten lips.

A loud clatter snapped both of you back to reality, both freezing in place despite the compromising position you stood in and listening closely to the little sounds that traveled up to the private sanctuary you were in from the larger chambers below. Your walls clamped tightly upon his fingers from your surprise, the mounting distress of the situation only tightening the knot coiling in your stomach.

The voices of the rest of the research team were muffled by the countless stone walls between you, but you could still make out their words. They were bickering about translations, how they really needed to find where you and the Scribe had ventured off too because surely one of you would know the correct answer.

“Did you hear that, princess? They’re looking for us, guess we better hurry things along.” Came Alhaitham’s warm, breathy laugh against the shell of your ear. You shuddered, yet mustered the most hateful tone you could as you forced his fingers out of your weeping cunt and rounded on him, jabbing a finger into his chest.

“Oh, think you have it in you, feeble scholar?”

Dual-colored eyes bore into you for a moment, as if sizing up your challenge. “Feeble as I may be,” he relented, raising his hand still sticky with your fluids, spreading his fingers before your eyes as the viscous liquid slowly seeped down towards his covered knuckles, “someone has to take care of this.”

And take care of it he certainly had.

You had kissed every semblance of heaven goodbye. It wasn’t for you anymore. You were perched on the lap of a man not native to the desert, your legs hooked over his thighs and spread widely enough to take him as he bounced you on his cock while sitting on the throne of the dead god of your people.

The wet, slapping sound of sex filled the chamber, echoing back to your ears as Alhaitham bullied your pussy until you had gone dumb in his arms, babbling quiet nonsense while your pussy worked diligently over his intruding length.

You couldn’t count the times you had been taken to the edge of an orgasm only to be overstimulated into the next, a ring of tears lining your lashes from the pleasured cries you had worked so desperately to muffle as to not alert your fellow researchers who’s voices you could hear growing slowly closer to your location.

“I’m close.” Alhaitham warned, giving your clit a sharp pinch as you gasped aloud. His chest pressed against your back, bending you nearly in two as he fucked into you with a new fervor. You could feel the press of his thick cock in your womb, its leaky head ramming into your cervix as you cried his name like a prayer. That coil in your gut he had worked so diligently to form snapped with a sudden white heat, your mind going blank save for the pleasure rolling through your veins like molten metal.

Alhaitham let out a choked noise as your pussy tried to milk him of his seed prematurely, continuing to fuck into you till his own pace stuttered. He bit down onto your shoulder, and with a deep groan gave in to your biological response.

You felt so full it could have driven you crazy as you shakily righted yourself, cringing from the overstimulation of his re-hardened cock against your walls. Your eyes ventured to where you two were connected, a creamy ring having formed at his base of his cock.

You went to rise only for him to catch your hips. “Don’t move.” He hissed as he forced you back onto his cock, a whimper leaving your lips as you squirmed. Despite having barely lifted yourself off of him you could feel the cum sitting deep in your womb shift down with the absence of his cock, the fluid leaking out of your pussy. Your eyes widened, watching as it leaked onto the seat before pooling and running down the face of the throne.

You were totally screwed.

Rey, 2023

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x you #genshin alhaitham x reader #alhaitham smut #genshin smut #i’m sorry lol #al haitam x reader #genshin imagines #genshin impact

[voxisdaddy]

C/TW: NSFW, Vox being a down bad simp

Currently imagining Vox x Famous!Reader. Like Fizzarolli famous. Whatever it is they’re known for, Vox is a simp. A huge, pathetic, sad little simp. Maybe you know who he is but don’t really give a fuck. He’s just another dude with a shit ton of money, yippee. Well it’s with that money that he buys one of your sex dolls-some new merchandise that your boss insisted on getting manufactured. Oh he knows it’s sad. He’s heard of the hellborns going wild for that Fizzarolli guy in the lust ring. He’s pretty sure he’s even seen the market for the Fizzarolli sex dolls. He spat out his coffee at that-how fucking sad! How desperate do you have to be to actually buy one of those things—?! Vox bought one of you, same day delivery, as soon as they launched. He felt that guilt and shame swell in his chest and it weighed heavy. That did nothing to settle the pleasant tightness in his pants though. Fuck he couldn’t wait for it to get here. He even canceled everything he had planned that day, telling Valentino and Velvette that he’s feeling sick and needs to do some heavy system cleaning. Then when it gets here that night—oh.my.satan. He’s lost track of how many times he’s cummed but he’s still as hard as a rock. He topped for… idk how many rounds but when he felt tired that’s when he decided to test out how functional this thing was—like could it take some sort of charge? Oh yes it can, Vox repeats to himself as the (Y/n)-Erotica-Botica (shit product name btw) rides him until he’s crying and desperately trying to find the remote to turn you off but the bot is just oh so distracting.

#hazbin hotel #vox #hazbin hotel vox x reader #vox x reader #x reader #hazbin hotel vox #i’m sorry lol

[bergoozter]

#💖🌸💕❤️🥹😍🌷✨💫🌸💕💐🥹💖💕❤️👑🌷💕 #i’m sorry lol #watcher #puppet history #the professor

[psychonauts2000]

Prologue: Who’s chasing who? 1/3

<<Previous Next >>

Master List 🧠

#Psychonauts MindWarp #Psychonauts 2000 #Psychonauts comic #Psychonauts au #razputin aquato #lili zanotto #MindWarp #MindWarp Comic #this took so long #I’m sorry lol #Psychonauts

[freakinglegs]

This is all I have to give outside of oc art so have this absolutely unhinged post <3

#barney calhoun #blue shift #hl blue shift #fandom #fanart #digital art #half life #artwork #my art #hl #half life 2 #I’m sorry lol #no I’m not #meme #funny

[candyheartedchy]

whats something coraline does that could easily get spongeb.ob flustered?? either purposfully or mundane ! (i adore your coralbob art btw!! <33)

When she gets assertive.

#I’m sorry lol #💌 letters 💌 #anonymous #🎨 chy creations 🎨 #❤️ coralbob ❤️

[ollieneedstherapy]

Sam Collins Headcannons

THIS MAN. I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN.

-He’s so stupid….so so dumb, but so so smart? This man can’t do simple math but ask this man to fix your car? Done.

-He’s not a coffee or tea drinker, he likes lemonade or orange juice

-was raised in an ‘just waters’ house

-my man, has black out curtains everywhere, he has one for every room. He bought some for darlin’ since they normally sleep in his room and they got used to the dark :’)

-All male Vampires are simps. Him,Porter, Vincent….cause I’m only attach to 3 of the vamps….(yes I’m totally fine after the summit….)

-he’s red green colorblind

-Him and Darlin’ share clothes all the time, Darlin’ once caught him wearing their jacket after a really bad day

-He has really bad anxiety, like really bad

-Sam has been trying to learn more Smash to impress the pack, Darlin’ told Asher this and he now texts Sam randomly to ask ‘if he’s finally getting better’

-Sam is so scared of David….but he also finds him attractive

-He has been called a dilf. More than once.

-He’s the oldest of 3 siblings, all girls, he has their names tattooed on his back

-Speaking of tattoos, he has the one of his sister, a book quote, one on his thigh (Darlin’ is the only one who knows about that one) and a scarecrow for his mom

-He is so bad at Jeopardy, like bad enough that Darlin’ changes it when it comes on so they don’t have to listen to his wrong answers

-the “brown….my eyes were brown” quote is a lie according to darlin from the picture they saw. His eyes were a golden color…

#redacted asmr #redacted darlin #redacted sam #redacted headcanons #I’m sorry lol #david shaw #asher talbot

[maladaptivewriting]

inside me there are two wolves. one of them hates tonks. the other one also hates tonks but doesnt want to turn the golden king into a tonks bashing fic.

#i’m sorry lol #the golden king #wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #anti remadora #anti tonks

[xthescarletbitch]

i always get so excited to talk to mutuals, but once we speak, i feel like they regret ever interacting with me. 😬

#i’m sorry lol #i guess i am only cool in theory #not in practice #txt

[everoutoftouch]

Gargoyles are a girls beast friend

#puns #I’m sorry lol #i may be high

[unhingedthirst]

Omg could you please write a saul Goodman fic with the prompt suck my fingers please? I have a thing for his hands and it’s so bad 😩

You got it anon! Take this gif as a present

MINORS DNI smut incoming

Saul goodman X female! Reader

“Is this seat taken?” A gravely voice speaks and you realize that you’ve heard it somewhere before. You shake your head and he takes a seat next to you at the near empty dive bar. Your lips turn upwards in a amused smile that you hide with a sip of your drink. It was Saul Goodman. Speedy justice for you. The local celebrity lawyer, you always found him kind of hot. There was something about middle age charming men that do you in and the more swarmy the better. You must be like half his age but that’s never stopped either of you before. You had a long day and were looking for some stress relief and Saul might be the perfect thing. He wasn’t an idiot he saw that you were a beautiful woman; he was used to call girls so picking up a beautiful woman at the bar wasn’t something he was used too. He saw that you had finished your drink and he flagged down the bartender “I’m buying sweetheart. Whatcha drinkin? He says softly bumping you with his shoulder. You smile and gently bump him back and told the bartender you’d take another of the drink you’d been drinking. You turn to Saul and smile genuinely “thank you so much” you say softly and tilt your head down and look up at him.

The conversation flowed and so did the drinks and next thing you know you are on his gigantic bed in his absolutely absurd home. It was giant and kind of incredible. You were sitting on the edge of the bed and you feel a warm heavy hand on your bare thigh. He was definitely handsome you thought as you scanned his face. His eyes held so much, you saw the lust definitely but also saw pain and insecurity and the want to be desired and needed. You gently touch his face which seemed too intimate for the moment but he didn’t seem to mind. He just stares back at you taking inventory “you are so sexy. it isn’t fair” he grumbles and runs a finger over your open pouted lips. There was a certain weight to this words like he didn’t deserve to be in your presence. You don’t feel like that though. You thought he was absolutely mouthwatering and you were determined to prove that to him. You hum gently and reach over to Palm the growing bulge in his slacks. His head was swimming when you touched him; he let out a groan of pleasure and shifted his hips up to meet your hand. He tutted and grabbed your wrist “no touching.” He says in a low voice and you swear you felt your stomach drop and your pussy clench around nothing and than he spoke again and you thought you were gonna pass out “you are gonna take what I give you and be grateful. Sound good beautiful?” He purrs into your ear. You nod coyly and he brings his fingers up to your mouth “suck on my fingers for me” he mused watching your face for any hesitation and sucked in a breathe when you did. Your tongue swirling around his thick digits “good girl. Look at you” he coos tauntingly as you continue to suck. He closes his eyes and sighs, he grabs a hold of your jaw and looks at you as you detach “your gonna kill me” he says affectionately lust coating his voice

Part 2????? 👀

#I’m sorry lol #better call saul fanfic #saul goodman #saul goodman x reader #better call saul #this isn’t that good tbh #thank you for the request! #imma write more of this

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Me: Why are you being a brat, Sky.

Sky: *crosses arms and looks away*

Me: I need. For you. To cooperate.

Sky: *shrugs*

Wind: What’s going on?

Me: I got an ask about Sky and Legend and someone isn’t working with me.

Sky: You tried to kill me.

Me: How is this new information to you by now?? And that isn’t even for this story!!

Sky: You need sleep.

Me: THAT’S A LOW BLOW AND YOU KNOW IT

#writing problems #random rambles #ugh #to anyone who has sent me writing prompts #I’m sorry lol #I have such an exhaustion headache but can’t fall asleep this is dumb #I want a refund this day is blegh

[writingkitten]

This has me drooling

#molina-verse #call them a tootsie pop the way I be suckin them tiddies #I’m sorry lol #robert aldrich

[molinaskies]

@strange--isnt--it I love your blog name

#/gen #tagging you on my auto-correcting iPhone was nearly impossible #is that intentional #if so #i’m sorry lol #sonic the hedgehog #sth #sonic #sonic ova #molinaskies #molina likes