#I’m honestly so upset about it

[foldingfittedsheets]

I’m in chicken hell. I agreed to watch my moms birds while she gallivants for the month of December. I’m disabled but she said it would just be a matter of filling tubs of food.

It’s. Awful. We had chickens growing up. They had a big run, with a large insulated indoor coop, heat lamps, and table scraps. They got grain and water and had room to forage for bugs and plants.

But her current coop is a fucking nightmare. It’s a wire mesh cage with a roof, plastic along the sides, and a foot deep floor of filthy shit and straw to stand on. Their water was fully clogged with said straw, and one of the chickens was just dragging a lame foot around the first time I came to check on them.

I was distressed about the injured chicken but my mom said she just hasn’t had time to deal with it since it hatched. The chicken is a year old at least. There’s like six or seven chickens being kept in what I generously suppose to be 5x5 space for the month my parents are gone.

Today I was at my breaking point. I wanted to at least give them fresh water since they’re casually confined to a closet. All the hoses are completely disconnected and scattered wildly around with no clear hook up. There’s a gigantic green bucket full of water that I can’t feasibly do anything with.

When I called my mom indicated that I was being ridiculous and hysterical about it as they’re just chickens. But I could lay down straw if I wanted and use the green bucket for water. I had to explain that no, I’m not physically able to do either of those things. She said she’d call a neighbor to do it.

I went rogue and let them out to browse in an area they’re not supposed to be in for as long as I had energy to stand watch then regretfully hustled them back into their wretched coop.

#ramblies #I’m honestly so upset about it #I can’t feasibly call any hotlines either because their yard is so enclosed that it would clearly point to my ratting on her #my betrothed is gonna come with me this weekend and we’ll bring scraps and let them browse as much as we can #one year my parents got these wretched meat birds that get so fat they can’t stand and didn’t understand why I was so upset to see them #like that meat is not going to even be nutritional because good chicken meat comes from bugs and greens and movement #and I had to bring a fucking slideshow of reasons why they should not raise birds like that #it’s a truly evil thing humanity did to breed those birds #like I believe it’s your responsibility to give any creature in your care a good life #and even if you’re going to eat it it should get to run and play and enjoy life #I think chickens are stupid little terror birds but they still deserve nice things! they should get to scratch around and run and be silly

[fawndlyvenus]

You know what’s funny? How I can say that I headcanon a character as somewhere on the ace spectrum and/or aro spectrum, and within minutes I am being treated as if I am somehow very unintelligent and know nothing of the world.

#venus speaks #ace #acespec #asexuality #aro #arospec #aromantic #asexuel #Seriously tho let me live in peace #and bonus points for people trying to tell me – someone on the ace spectrum – that I don’t know what those really are #I’m just so damn tired of not being allowed to talk about and/or bring my own headcanons to the table anymore #And it’s also not just me. I see it everywhere and it’s honestly making me upset and uncomfortable as hell

[ironunderstands]

Aventio lovers I fear we won yet again

Paid Aventio edit we all cheered

#Hsr #aventio #Aventurine #dr ratio #honestly whether or not this ship was canon/implied/anything or not I really wouldn’t gaf #However watching the most annoying people on the planet seethe over this kinda stuff is so funny #Boooo the gays in a hoyo game #Sure don’t hope forks in kitchens scare them #I’m gonna open twitter for the one time this month bc I wanna see if anyone is upset about this

[pixlokita]

I feel like ? I gotta remind people it’s ok to unfollow a blog when it upsets you in any way >> like if I ever do that sure, you can let me know if it was anything I did personally I’d appreciate it but if you just don’t enjoy something it’s ok to unfollow ;w; can’t stress enough how important it is to put your mental health first 👌

#pix habla #fnaf #✨💖 even if you don’t like frogs and I post about frogs does that make sense #i see some yall not liking some of the stuff I draw and just kinda wonder ? why you still follow lol #i won’t take it personally #even if it’s a mutual heck I’ve even told my friends to unfollow if they ever need a break from my blog =w=👌 #because It’s nothing personal >> #i used to ok so funny story xD I used to follow a friend in middle school on social media #and we were good friends but had nothing in common in what we posted about =w= #like she loved Beatles fanfics (don’t ask do not ask idk I didn’t read past the titles) #and i loved sonic :v #and like #thats aigh ? you don’t gotta ? follow a blog that doesn’t bring joy no matter if you’re close or not #i would honestly hate it if I’m making anyone upset or unhappy #so yeyeyeye I’ve said this before in other fandoms but like >>)✨✨💖 put 👏 your mental health 👏👏👏 FIRST ALWAYS👏 #Stay safe y’all ✨👌 have fun be free #we’re all just… sitting here… online 😔 ain’t nothing to it

[spaceagetoon]

I’m literally so mad that the reason Joan broke up with JFK was bc he wasn’t “emotionally mature”. Like are we forgetting about the prom episode. Are we forgetting about the entire reason they got together in the first place.

#clone high #clone high spoilers #it honestly kinda feels like the writers making fun of the fandom for getting so attached to this ship #I’m rlly happy about Harriet and Confucius and Cleo and Frida #both of those couples are super cute #ch joan #clone high Joan #clone high jfk #ch jfk #joanfk #I’m literally so upset #bo babbles

[im-no-jedi]

so people have been meeting DBB at a convention this weekend and asking him about TBB season 3. he obviously isn’t saying much about it, but he seems very positive about it. giving implications that it’ll be very emotional, but not necessarily in a bad way. also, he told someone that Hunter fans are gonna be very happy with this season. so yeah. my hopefulness has increased tenfold \o/

#I just keep seeing things on Twitter #several people are reporting their experiences #and I honestly trust Dee more than anyone else involved in the show #so if he’s acting positive about it then I’m not gonna worry #cause he’s been pretty vocal about things that upset him (*coughFIVEScough*) #I’m just gonna keep the Hunter comment rotating in my head for the next few weeks haha #I am SO excited #\o/ #star warz

[meebles]

we got beautiful armor and voice acting…. but not temuera’s beautiful face…

#captain rex #temuera morrison #ahsoka spoilers #ahsoka show #star wars #AHHHH RIPPING AND TEARING #and barely any voice acting. i’m so!!! #honestly genuinely upset about this wtf

[rainbow-femme]

Going on a Baldur’s Gate 3 binge made me have a dream there was a new cutscene where if the player is romancing Astarion something happens where they get hit by a magic whatever and it kills them, fully stops their heart

And he’s doing CPR and starts with the whole acting angry to cover being scared thing, but then as the cutscene goes on he starts getting more panicked and frantic as it’s seemingly not working and the player character isn’t coming back until he’s fully just freaking out and begging/demanding the PC not actually die and leave him

And then of course they do come back and are alive and breathing again and he grabs them in a crushing hug and doesn’t have anything snarky to say

And it’s meant as a scene of just pure no walls unfiltered look at how he feels about the PC since he’s usually got some level of emotional wall up

#probably could honestly work with any romanced character but I’m romancing Astarion right now so that’s where my brain went #in my dream they were in their going to bed camp clothes so it was all flowy slightly unlaced shirts to make it even more dramatic #I like to imagine the scene happens if someone was trying to attack him so the PC takes it themselves to save him #so it’s doubly upsetting with someone he cares about dying but also someone caring enough about him to do that #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #astarion

[yantao-enthusiast]

can some fucking people stop being to celebrities like “oh this person is either gay or queerbaiting because their personality is making me interpret them as queer because they act ‘stereotypically’ gay and that if you act like this you have to be queer. so we’re gonna either force this person to come out via peer pressure when they may not want to or be ready to or bully them for acting a certain way if they’re not queer because that’s the only way i can accept these people acting this way.” it’s really fucked up, based on toxic patriarchal values, and plain homophobic. analyze these parts about yourself and put a stop to it. it’s not funny. it’s not doing the lgbtq community a favor. it’s an asshole thing to do and you better be leaving that shit in 2023.

#this shit upsets me so deeply i hope you noticed #kit connor #harry styles #billie eilish #shawn mendes #honestly i’m not even a huge shawn mendes fan but what some people did when they were look omg he’s gay bc he acts 💅 #fucking disgusting #let’s not even start with how people made gross speculations about him and camila’s relationship #don’t forget the fact that billie had to come out bc she was put on the spot and she can’t just exist as a queer person #it really rubs me the wrong way all of it #and the kit connor situation is self explanatory #oh right i forgot to mention #taylor swift #like read the prologue please #also i feel the large majority of the community drowns out the g*ylors but it still clearly gets to taylor y’all #she’s stated multiple times she’s straight. stop insinuating otherwise. #even if she didn’t #the public doesn’t have to act like they’re entitled to sensitive details of someone’s life bc they’re famous. #gain some empathy. grow the fuck up #lgbtqia #lgbtq #queer

[dirty-bear-rick-sanchez]

Rick Sanchez peak autism moment in episode 3x02: when he’s having dinner with Beth and the robot kids and he keeps telling them things like ‘dial it back Summer… by 15% and increase dynamic movement by 3%’ and then when Beth starts crying he tries to console her and then tells her ‘try crying 15% less’

#rick and morty #rnm #rick sanchez #beth smith #beth sanchez #autistic rick #autistic rick sanchez #honestly what a mood #i have literally no idea what to do when people are upset #or like i just can’t get the words out? #also this episode is actually pretty good #there’s just something about the vibe of it i’m not that keen on for some reason #i think the romance between summer and haemorrhage? #so i rarely rewatch it unless i’m doing a complete rewatch #but i always crack up at ‘aw geez my sister died in the spaghetti’

[itspileofgoodthings]

I love the rhyming on ttpd. can only think of two examples currently but I know there’s more.

#the dancing phantoms on the terrace do they get second hand embarrassed #is e v e r y t h I n g #but also I can’t stop thinking about: #you. look. like. taylor swift. in this light—we’re lovin’ it #like just the flow. the cadence. not even just the rhyme but #her ease with language and playfulness with it and all the little pockets and corners of so many songs #even ones you think you don’t like. settle in with time! #like the thing about taylor is that she is VERY much a poet #in that some of her genius/way with words is innate #and the images and stuff she uses the turns of phrase can feel so garish and embarrassing on first listen #they JAR #but honestly I think it’s because she is truly …. new? she is doing something NEW #and the shock and outrage that always goes with new things is always present with a Taylor album #and I think she’s drawing on so much from the past to write but she is so deeply rooted in the present cultural moment #so it’s so easy to dismiss her writing on first glance as like. idk a college girl’s idea of poetry #as being too Stark or Melodramatic. #she loves OBVIOUS imagery and extremely dramatic ones too #but she isn’t actually just throwing stuff at the wall #because pretty much always. it starts to land and soften and settle #and the image she’s chosen has done its job of drawing you into a world #and/or communicating an emotion #and sometimes it’s so upsetting. like. get me out of the bedroom with Matty Healy taylor!!!!!!!!!! but. the art is art-ing! #I guess is what I’m saying. she’s good at this it isn’t just hype #but some of it really is that she’s taking us places we might not want to go or are so quick to pass judgment on #as being unworthy of a song or more importantly a poem. but present art HAS to do that #and does do it!!!!!! idk I am just. musing

[eye-of-yelough]

OH. okay

#durgetash mutual from before i uh. descended into ‘rejecting woobification and making gort worse’ brainrot blocked me #which is totally understandable and i’m honestly im mostly upset cos i found when trying to go on their blog to find a post #i know they tagged with their durge once. #so uh. if anyone has that post about characters who are driven mad by empathy. let me know. i need it in the aeryn tag #sorry twink-with-an-agenda. goodbye. i enjoyed our conversations while they lasted #your daily dose of idiocy

[boltgunkiller-archive]

i find it damn near impossible to get mad at santana’s behavior in 3x06 and 3x07 because i genuinely do think she had the right to be lashing out at everybody. sue me idk

#idgaf if she was mean to kurt and blaine when they were “trying to help” in IKAG #they were the first performance & santana was put under the spotlight by the guy who fully outed her to the ENTIRE STATE OF OHIO & now she #-was expected to be just happy and jolly about some bullshit lady music week to celebrate women as if that has anything to do with wtf just #-happened to her by finn’s hands & of course she was upset because she was only back in the new directions because finn basically #-blackmailed her into rejoining like hello!!! so of course she was snippy with them… and tbh i don’t even think she was being that mean. #i think she’d have reason to be even MEANER actually. that reaction of hers was completely reasonable. and honestly it must’ve hurt seeing #-two people who are meant to Get what it’s like.. participate in that? especially when the last thing she wants is her sexuality that she’s #-still very insecure with Being broadcasted. to the whole damn club. it’s already about to be shown to all of ohio with names addresses #-details about her whole personal life etc like she really didn’t need that spotlight right then she needed to have space and love and #-support… none of which she got. #also the glee writers tend to make a character do a bad thing and then have another character do an INFINITELY WORSE THING #and then they’re like “oh but. the first character was being so mean. this absolutely deplorable and wayyyy too far reaction is definitely #-justified now because that was just so mean of the first character ugh!” and basically spins what happened into showing the first characte #-as the most evil person alive??? as if that’s even remotely true.??? and yes this is about santana cause they do this w her #and quinn. a LOTTTT. like a LOT. rn i’m talking ab santana though so i won’t cover quinn sorry fabrayers… one day! #like yes santana was being mean sure whatever. but finn didn’t have an excuse IDGAF what the hell anybody says about the body shaming stuff #it was mean. yes that’s true. but i don’t think you understand how different those two things are #they’re both bad but the outing is infinitely more despicable and personal and filled with malice and it’s so much more endangering in a wa #-that can’t even be compared to the dangers of body shaming you know. like they’re completely different and the outing thing is just too #-personal and Wrong like. idk. just get that through ur head they’re both so different and finn went way too far and personal. he could’ve #-just mocked her looks if he really wanted to get back at her. mocked ANYTHING else. but he chose the worst thing you could do to somebody #who is scared and in the closet and hurting #also yes santana’s written to be rude a lot of the time but her degree of rudeness in those episodes was Overplayed and def not in characte #like it didn’t feel much like santana’s brand of meanness it was 100% the writers trying to justify finn more because they continued to #-paint finn as the good guy who chose the high road… when that couldn’t be further from the truth thanks. he didn’t choose the high road he #-completely blackmailed santana and used her to make him look good basically. so you can’t change my mind on that Def being a writer issue #and just them Hating Women. especially santana. thanks. #also this is all coming from somebody who loves finn. so. 🤣 #i fuckingggg hate seeing people say santana was mean and had no right to be doing all of that in those eps.. BITCH YES SHE DID #like in other eps sure (<- nuanced topic/take) but this one? No. she was justified IDGAF. should’ve been meaner

[ghosttotheparty]

ok i wasn’t gonna say anything but this has been itching me; i was on ops side until they said steddie writers that write fem steve are just writing self inserts and i’m just…

if i wanted to write a self insert, i would write a self insert. but i’m not. i project onto some characters yes, but no fem character is rly anything like me because i’m trans masc, and tend to not relate to fem characters in regards to their femininity. when i write fem characters, they are *characters* that i’m writing.

also a queer man being feminine is not heteronormative. because no matter how feminine he is, he is still a queer man. his femininity does not take away from his queerness, and it is offensive and harmful to say it does. and even if in some fics hes written as a woman, whether cis or trans, it doesn’t fucking matter. if it bothers you, don’t read it. ao3 has a lovely tagging system to avoid what you don’t like, and you are responsible for the content you consume. don’t make it our fucking problem.

#i usually am not one to get involved in discourse (and i don’t think i’m rly involved now im just talking to the void honestly) #but oh my god #i have been so upset about this #might delete later #also might write steve as a woman when my hiatus is over just out of spite #just me talking

[no1ryomafan]

I have said this before but me being self proclaimed number 1 Ryoma fan and that being possibly literal-bc even if this bro had fans before me I might’ve simply done the most for him by talking about him so much + being the first to write fics that are in depth studies on his trauma across canons-I gotta say if there’s one other character I rotate a lot that isn’t him it’s probably Kei. (Shocking it’s not Hayato even if I do think about him too- but it’s usually associated with Ryoma bc gays 🗿)

I’m not even exaggerating when I say Kei would be my favorite and only isn’t because she doesn’t exist in many other canons yet my brain rotates the endless possibilities of how to incorporate her. I’ve already written a fic where she’s in shin vs neo verse which worked surprisingly well but I’ve been thinking how universally she could appear in other things. (Whether it be fitting her into a idea of a possible Go team in New or just a new canon completely) I think what I’ve narrow it down to is that she could be like- in Michirus role? Like she’s the supporting female who isn’t a pilot but helps out the real occasionally which I think would align very well especially with the original manga role she has of being Hayato’s assistant. And even if Hayato isn’t grandpa mode yet he still very much is in Saotomes position at that point. Not sure if she’d Hayato’s biological kid to further parallel Saotome and Michiru given well Hayato already adopts the Go team and his wife is irrelevant LOL.

I have no idea if I’ll ever write this specific idea but I’m still- rotating it cause this is such a easy way to get around “picking between Sho or Kei as the 2nd pilot” since both of them can still exist even if one doesn’t get to pilot, idm my supporting females. (Granted there could always be like- plot line where Sho gets hurt so Kei is temporary pilot but I can’t remember if Getter ever really did this since “once your hurt your ass is basically replaced” lol)

#meg text #getter robo #au rambles #I think I rotate her so much because my friend and I talked about her relationship with Go #like it makes so much sense if among all the universal constants in getter one would be Kei is important to Go #granted the shift from “she’s my love interest” to “she’s my sister” will never not be so fucking drastic 💀 #also I get why in SVN she wasn’t there for time and idk where you’d fit her but man Kei deserves a more significant role #hence why I imagine her in Michirus role because even if she also had it ROUGH some iterations knew how to use her #also Kei already has a established relationship w gai mainly thanks to arma so- Sho deserves to speak with her too #they can be besties who rat out on the boys but still have high respect for hayato #granted I know the real reason why this hasn’t happened is because Kei is a minor character and “no proper go manga adaptation??” #at this point I don’t expect a anime but it be nice if Go team got used in a spin off bc we had a good run of OG team #I’d also want them to use arc in spin offs too but I understand their more- finicky characters to use #given their main thing is their actual descendants of existing characters and one of them is our first boyo (ryoma) #if you took out the bloodline stuff it make them feel redundant because you can just use go team for that #also honestly despite how mixed arc anime is for everyone they really don’t need to be in anything after this #other then wishing they get something with nicer animation but that’s what’s SRW is for #(also back to Kei I’m a bit upset she did not get a cameo in arc even if she’d probably look horrendous it was just salt in the wound) #(GAI LITERALLY SAIDS WHEN HE DIES IN THE MANGA HE SEES KEI WHERE WAS SHE WITH ALL THE GETTER GHOSTS?) #actually Michiru wasn’t there too so it was probably just woman erasure /hj

[archduke-enver-gortash]

posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh

#god i am trying so hard to just have fun and be myself #but when i do that i'm immediately a strange outsider creep #and since i can't really mask my version of masking is just not talking and then obviously you don’t find any joy in fandom spaces either #i will always be a shitty unlikable freak no matter how much i pretend otherwise. it was obvious from the start that getting involved in #fandom spaces was a fucking mistake. it's always a mistake because you're some laughing stock at best and a horrifying freak at worst #i don't blame people for not liking me i've realised what an awful person i am long ago #but it's always so hard witnessing something like fun social groups from the sidelines knowing you'll never be a part of it #this is why my mental state has been deteriorating so severely in the last few months. that Realisation once again nothing fucking changed #i know it's stupid to get so upset over fandom but it's only a pattern for me #i stopped trying to be friends with people when i was a teenager because it hasn't worked a single time #this attempt at integrating myself into the wotr and bg3 fandom by sharing my shit was just one mistake #gortash/zeke is so different from anybody else’s work and i wish i could find joy in something that it isn’t fucking deranged but i can’t #like yes it’s just fandom bullshit! gortash/zeke is a fucking oc x canon ship! why am i getting so upset over it! #i love writing them. i’ve never been this happy writing anything. and it’s entirely indicative of a common pattern in my life #when i earnestly share parts of myself/things i’m passionate about people get creeped out. and honestly? rightfully so #i would leave the discord servers i’m in because it’s fucking crushing me dude. this is so petty but i’m so jealous of what you people have #but in one i am server owner and i don’t want to just dump that responsibility onto someone else and then dip #and in the other two i’m not sure anyone would even notice that i’m gone but i still worry about being rude #though i’m not entirely sure i didn’t get invited to one of those just so people could laugh at me. idk probably just being paranoid but i #it’s been gnawing at me #ok no if i’m being this vulnerable on tunglr.com i can also say that part of me staying is also still having the hope that i could fit in #one day. logically i know it won’t happen but it’s nice to have hope sometimes #watching you all from through the window having fun like a creep #so yeah. i’ve always felt like this but it’s been rapidly getting worse with my failed attempt at the bg3 fandom #idk just been crying non-stop for the last few hours. went through an entire pack of tissues in an hour it’s very disgusting #they’re all lying around me as i’m typing this like a pillowfort of snot lmao #so yeah. idk. if someone could come over and lobotomise me that’d be nice. orin where are you when we need you most #i never had any friends irl so i foolishly gave this a shot. i’m sorry #also doesn’t help that i can see someone dropping me for people that are easier to be around in irl rn #it just hurts because it’s always like that. someone you are around when you have no other option at best. not even that sometimes