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hisui555 · 26 days

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Hazbin Hotel Thoughts : Alcohol, Part 2 !

Part 1 here (Hazbin Crew)

Part 3 here (Heaven's side)

Masterpost here

So, just for your information. Last post has the record of gathering the quickest notes in the least time. Now that the Vees and other Overlords (but mainly the Vees, let's not kid ourselves) are on this one, wonder how it will fare. I think I already know the answer. Now let's jump to it.

The Vees

While they're all seen having a drink in the conference room, they haven't been seen nor mentioned getting inebriated, so it's mostly speculation from there.

Vox, from his personality, could cycle between "emotional", "nostalgic", and "pathetic", ranging from a hyper, super-excited guy that tries to one-up everyone to a sobbing mess because Alastor left meeeee...! and embarrass himself - well, not much of a change from his sober self, in retrospect. He would hold it relatively well though, have a bit of resilience until the watergates open, but the more Vox drinks, the closer he gets to the "emotional" side of it. On a darker side, he could also be the "violent" and "angry" type of drunk, especially around the middle of the slippery slope : not outright trying to get into fights but sure not stopping once it has started until he has gouged something out of someone, or someone out of something. But I can also see him being the "denying" type, trying to make people believe he's way less drunk than he actually is - he'll hide it well (having practice as a multimedia CEO and colleague babysitter)... for a while. The more he drinks the more cracks in the façade appear, at which point everyone can see he's sloshed even through a blindfold but won't peep a word unless they want to provoke the wrath of the TV man. The next mornings are spent deliberately avoiding eye-contact with him and editing everything out of feed themselves as to not tip him off either, and pretending collective amnesia (or even better : "Oh I wouldn't know, Mr Vox, I was too drunk !"). Blissful ignorance.

Vox would be somewhat around a normal weight, though he could outlast Charlie by a few glasses, but like Alastor if he downs a whole bottle he's done for. The only difference between them is that they would have their hints of tipsyness inverted : Vox would be physically clumsy but able to perfectly rant like Robin Williams with almost perfect pronounciation, while Alastor can keep up no problem on the dancefloor but have his words tying in knots and stumbling upon themselves like the screwiest pretzel. Well, that, and having their gazes slightly out of focus, a looser 100-watts grin and still talking to that poor coatrack in the corner that didn't asked for it - though Vox might be able to better differenciate things from living things, he's just unaware he's asking the wrong person about his pitch sale of demonic baby powder with abestos inside.

Velvette would be the "competitive" drunk, and the "cranky" one. On normal she already thinks everything and everyone is pants-on-head retarded, so a drunk Velvette might be able to dish out so much piling up verbal abuse you'd need wings to stay above it. She'd also be the "susceptible" type : breathe one word wrong and she's at your throat, whether it's someone way more powerful than her or not. Kinda the embodiment of yeah keep your eyes on Napoleon there, she's gonna start something we're gonna finish (absolutely not my 5' arse even when sober with my 6'4" friends in gatherings. Nope. Nnnnnope.) she'll promise to destroy you on every social media platform she mans or owns, and by the time she's right as rain again only remembers half of it. But she WILL want to know what went down, to turn it to her advantage and erase every instance of recorded poor decisions on her part. What's worse with her is that, like Lucifer, you can't really tell she's boozed up : it looks so much like her everyday attitude, only worse (congrats on that) that the only evidence will be the multiplying number of empty glasses and the diminishing levels of whatever's inside the bottles. The only metric you could go by is how fast she snaps when angry - if it's something in the milliseconds instead of the centiseconds, yep, she has a few glasses in her already. She'll still be coherent and girlbossing through it like a champ, busting out moves that would lead an Olympic pro skater into the Paralympics instead, and have astounishing eye for details despite her plastered state, as if it accrued her already good sense of picking up small things (only, again, to remember half of it once the rush goes down).

She'll probably hold better than what her weight and stature suggests, possibly outdrinking Vox, though not to the point of Angel, or Husk. She'll start feeling something around the 15th glass possibly, and by 20-22 is assuredly smashed, but hiding it rather well (undeliberately, it just doesn't really show on her) but I wouldn't want to be around her for the morning after, boy.

Valentino, hoooo sweet mother of god and all her wacky nephews, now he'll be something. As a pimp who regularly uses drugs and his various aphrodisiac/narcotic powers, smoke included, he'll be rather resistant, because he built said resistance overtime, and his lifestyle very much helps with that. He'll hold his own fairly well, but when he reaches the point of being three sheets to the wind, he goes down HARD. A slurry, half-coherent mess that just lets his body do its thing on its own, with bouts of sudden energy before crumbling down in a heap again. Don't ask him to dance unless you want yourself, and everyone else around, ending up in a hospital : him and a drunk Vox could take out everyone in a 10 meter radius during a slow waltz. Given his temperament, Val would hop from "angry" and "violent" type (unlike Vox, he will seek out the fights and shoot at the slightest provocation) to "seducing" and "happy with everything", but the surprising part, methinks, would be that he'd be also a "nostalgic" and "contemplative" type of drunk, and NOBODY expected that one. He'll wax philosophical while downing his 20th glass and musing about life, one elbow on the counter, nursing the drink in his hand, before snapping back to shooting the fucking pianist dead because the tune irritates him. It's really a ping-pong game of states and you better fucking hope he doesn't get to serve, because that curveball is hard to dodge. He also loves the feeling of being fuzzed out of his mind (fuzzed. FUZZED. Two Z, gutterbrains) and riding the wave while it lasts, but he hates having to depart from it and will prolong it as much as he can. Not that his mornings are particularly bad, unlike Velvette above, but because he likes just giving into the impulse and not having to care about pesky things like thinking and managing a business.

He'll need a bottle and a half or two to get completely tanked, and will range from impossible to reason with and be let loose, to semi-casual during his contemplative episodes. Basically, he's like a tornado : you point him in a certain direction opposite to you and when shit stops flying, you hope you're in a better shape than whoever poor schmucks were around at that time. He will 100% confuse people with things, and, as the meme goes in this fandom, try to make out with a lamppost or two, then become angry that it ain't listening to get in the car for more "fun". Hey, I had to say it, it would have been a missed opportunity otherwise.

Other Overlords

Rosie isn't against a few glasses of fine wine (it goes well with liver, as we all know), and very much knows how to keep her composure, but also lets herself get loose a bit. She's the "giggling" type, finding everything charming and funny, but again, don't be fooled, that makes her no less dangerous, just jollier and sillier. Might also say hello to every bird and dog that passes and curtsy to the local squirrel if quite inebriated, but otherwise she can tank it like a boss : expect at least two bottles down, and she'll give Husk a run for his money. Careful with the chop-chop-happy attitude, though. She could also bust out cutting sarcasm that would normally be hidden behind the sober filter, a bit like Treasure Planet's Captain Amelia.

Zestial... doesn't know what getting smashed looks like. He'll stick to his tea, thank you very much, but on the occasion, does enjoy a very fine wine. He'll be the only guy still standing after everyone else is shaking the white sheet, shrug, and go on his way. This ancient and powerful being is above the turpitude of youngsters and their funny, slurry-worded games.

Carmilla, while reasonable, would be a "tired" drunk - if she ever drank herself to this point to begin with. Everything's too loud, she can't find what's so funny about the curtains' motif or the wallpaper, and just watch, trying to blink away her daze, as others make fools of themselves. She's in no mood for fancy acrobatics but might casually pop one move or two in a complete blasé way to avoid that stumbling drunkard. The main difference is that she's slower, a wee bit sloppier, but no less graceful - it's like a different type of grace, one that's more languid, applied, tai-chi like. She might also become something of a terse talker, giving out a few words at a time, expect monosyllables and vague non-committing hums from her. If launched on a topic of interest, blurts out very technical and analytic paragraphs, only to switch back to one word every five minutes once it's done. Wouldn't be very sociable either, and avoid contact on reflex : it's just not her thing.

Next part, Heaven's side !

Again, Masterpost here.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel thoughts #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin vox #hazbin valentino #hazbin velvette #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin hotel vees #hazbin vees #hazbin overlords #hazbin zestial #hazbin hotel carmilla #hazbin carmilla #hazbin carmilla carmine #hazbin rosie #hazbin hotel rosie #hazbin hotel zestial #carmilla carmine

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outofangband · 9 months

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Complex trauma after torture and Angband world building masterlist

warnings for discussions of trauma from abuse/torture and extremely unbalanced power dynamics

More specifically here

Effects of Angband Trauma on Interpersonal Relationships

I’m going to make a second post to go into more detail on specific survivors!

Note: a lot of this would also apply to Aerin! I covered a lot of it on my post about her and complex trauma and I’m working on a second one

1. Survivors of Angband often experience hyper sensitivity to changes in mood and temperament. Most in Angband exist at the mercy of their overseers and other denizens of the fortress. When they are angry, upset or annoyed, regardless of cause, it is not uncommon for this to be taken out on the captives who have nowhere to go. In this environment, some might try to make themselves as insignificant or inconspicuous as possible, some might attempt to placate in the hope to mitigate abuse of themselves or others, some might even try to provoke anger either in an attempt to get something seen as inevitable over with or to bear the brunt of abuse instead of letting it fall on someone else.

Many survivors of Angband can become tense or afraid at a raised voice, certain tones, or simply being in the presence of someone who is upset or angry, especially if that person is in or is perceived to be in a position of power or authority.

On the same note is hyperawareness of certain body language and difficulty disconnecting certain body language or words with trauma responses. This can be conscious or subconscious.

The methods of survival within Angband might be replicated on the outside; some might seem antagonistic, intentionally trying to draw the anger of others around them, attempting to placate someone who might have no idea that their words or body language had been perceived as threatening, or attempting to make themselves inconspicuous again.

2. Difficulty maintaining the flow of a conversation

Conversation between prisoners and other denizens can not truly be equal. Verbal defiance or anything taken as such are heavily punished.

I’ve said it many times before and I’ll continue to say it! I cannot stress enough how profoundly demoralizing it is to be in an environment where you cannot make any change or influence and where your words mean next to nothing about what happens to you.

Conversations between prisoners are heavily restricted and censored. Friendships and bonds challenge the enforced hierarchies.

4. Improper reactions to authority. There is complex protocol in Angband for what body language, tone and other signifiers must be performed when speaking to higher ups. For some figures, special titles and even kneeling or other obvious signs of submission are required. Anyone who defies, challenges or does not submit to authority are brutally punished and the punishment commonly extends to the thralls around them too.

On the outside it is not uncommon for survivors to mistrust or act in ways seen as improper to authority. They might act overly subservient or the opposite; refusing even reasonable suggestions or commands out of fear that their compliance will be exploited, or simply because they don’t trust that they can identify danger or exploitation (those who feel the latter might also express this through compliance)

5. Masking and significant hiding of emotional states. What is necessary to adapt to Angband is met with suspicion and hostility on the outside. I won’t go too much into it because in my post Angband tag I have a lot but many survivors take great lengths to hide the extent of their trauma

Survivors are known to steal (because nothing can be theirs and they do not trust that they will be given anything without a terrible price), to lie (because they have been forced to choke down the truth when it might lead to further pain, and so much leads to pain), they are known to attack even their own kin (because they are so very afraid).

They learn very quickly when they re enter their communities that they must adapt. Some cannot. Many former prisoners are vagrants. They wander alone or with one or two they escaped with. Some adapt in the same ways they adapted in Angband, some become more numb, obeying and moving without question, not attempting to regain the identity and life that had been stolen from them

Related to this is a suppressing of normal and healthy emotions, including anger. Abuse, and captivity all robs, one of one’s ability to be angry on their own behalf, and behalf of their loved ones if they are also in such a situation. I won’t go into it too much detail here, because I actually have an upcoming post about trauma and anger (using Maedhros and Aerin for my examples) but I did want to note here. This could also manifest in a variety of ways in the aftermath, including being quick to anger, having difficulty regulating it, or feeling numb to situations that might make one feel angry, or having the impulse or response to placate instead of reacting, in the anger that one feels.

I really can’t overstate how this sort of trauma (in this case captivity but this would also apply to survivors of abusive households) effects every aspect due to the utter loss of control that is experienced while with the perpetrator(s).

probably have too many posts on it and unfortunately there will continue to be more! If you read this far thank you for your patience/genuine and as always please feel free to ask more!

#the silmarillion #maedhros #gwindor #Húrin #in the iron hell #musing and meta #post Angband #tagging the Angband survivor basic crew

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pebiejeebies · 5 months

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Where I got info ^^^^^^

Four exhibits very surreal mannerisms, one of them is the screech to stun them.

I screech earbleedingly aswell, screaming and screeching is my middle name lmfao

Although Four seems to be calm most of the time, they do get angry in many episodes, but he does have good manners every now and then, plus they have a mysterious, sadistic and narcicist personality where they use their powers to harm the contestants just for their own fun.

I have that issue aswell, I’m very sadistic and narcissistic when it comes to my ocs.. sadly I enjoy tormenting them (mentally is my favorite way <33) and in the past when I was younger, I used to abuse my sisters for my own pleasure, since I thought I was the best out of all of them..

Four was shown to want a sense of dominance in the show

Me to my sisters.. the feeling of being under someone is so unbearable, I have to deal with that is school everyday, so being dominant towards my sisters is bound to happen..

When provoked, Four would show no mercy and would even do things such as dissemble close friends out of anger, even lacking remorse in the process. In "Four Goes Too Far", Four mistook Nickel's response to calling David and Roboty "the only two non-objects on the team" criticism (which they could not tolerate very well). Four threatens to zap Nickel, with A Better Name Than That's plan being the only thing stopping the attack.

Sooo if disassemble was like unfriend/block, and the criticism being taken personally is very relatable, in fact, when my sister ever tells me any constructive criticism I always see it as an insult to my hard work, which sucks.. And for the “disassembling” part, I can be very close to a friend but if they piss me off/trigger me just once in a bad way, it would definitely make me ignore/block them, plus if disassemble counted as hitting, In the past I used to really abuse my sisters which I guess fits

In "Enter the Exit", Four seems to be a lot calmer, friendlier, and humbler, most likely because the contestants recovered them. They were noticeably less violent than before. After their return, they didn't screech anyone until "Return of the Rocket Ship", adding onto how friendly they became, but still will not hesitate to zap those who bother them.

The change in hostile behavior is something that I really went through, and the fact that four still hurts when someone irritates them is something I still do (as I’m typing this I literally hit my sister because she said my XO board was drawn wrong lmfao,,)

Then this shows Four's personality in more depth as well as their possible motivations: they seem to be childish. They act like a control freak because they want everyone to stay with him forever, explaining their narcissism and cruelty when hosting the show. Four throws tantrums when things don't go their way and strongly dislikes being abandoned (possibly due to them losing their playthings) to the point where they cry and refuse to let X console them since they think that X will abandon them too. After the split, Four seems to be nicer to the contestants and shows more personality. Toward the end of the episode, after the split took place and Two took nearly all of the contestants, Taco tells Four that they lost over half of the contestants. Instead of being angry or sad, Four makes light of the situation by saying BFB has "advanced" to its final 14 contestants.

This whole thing is just me, specifically when something huge bad happens like the split, I end up just trying to see the good side of everything, specifically the fact that I’m a bit obsessed with the fact of being some sort of host for something

In "Uprooting Everything", when it comes to Purple Face asking if he could be a co-host, Four immediately declines, stating they have a better co-host. Four was down about the last four contestants complimenting X's position and saying they were a "good host" than not recuperating the same to Four.

If purple face was my younger sister and my middle sister was the better co-host,, this would definitely fit, then the growing jealousy from the better co-host because of how much they’re liked irl is way too fucking relatable

In "Chapter Complete", it is shown that they have an insecure side. They become upset that the contestants do not want him as their host, and instead chooses to leave them forever.

This ^^^^

However, Gelatin told him that they indeed like him, but it was just that they did not like being hurt and tortured for his own benefit. Hearing this, he has a change of heart. He starts apologizing to everyone and becomes nicer to them.

After I started to change this is what I did, I specifically apologized to my sisters, since they were the ones I hurt the most

In "The Great Goikian Bake-Off", Four reverts back to his pre split personality and acts chaotically again. This is most likely because he is still mad at the old contestants, or he is just doing his job to protect the hotel's food.

Mad at old friends or protecting my room, iPad or literally anything that’s mine

Wow I guess that just makes me the silly billy—

UURGEHJRUEJEHHRGEGHEJURUEGHRURUEHEURUUURHEHHRHHR YAYYAYYYY

NOT ME BIEING HAPPY THAT SOMEONE CARES???!!?

@scrollinonhere

YYEGAGHEHYAYYEYEYYAYYEYHEHEYYYEEE!!

#fictionkin #fictkinity #fictionkinity #fictkin #osc #Four bfb #bfb four #four #4 bfb #Bfb 4 #4

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fandomsoda · 28 days

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People are tired of you.

And I’m tired of being lied to.

I’m tired of being told that people love me when they don’t. I’m tired of showing vulnerability to others only to be stabbed and made to bleed out. I’m tired of asking people if everything is alright and then they lie and say things are fine when they’re not. I’m tired of asking people if I can do anything to make them more comfortable or if anything is making them uncomfortable only for them to lie and say they’re fine when they’re not. I’m tired of trying to accommodate and make people happy only to be treated like a nuisance.

I am tired of telling people that I care about them and being lied to in return. I’m tired of pouring my heart out to people who don’t care. I’m tired of telling people I’m afraid to lose them only to be ghosted within the hour. I’m tired of loving more than I am loved. I’m tired of giving everything to people whom I mean nothing to.

I’m tired of being hurt and being blamed for being angry rather than apologized to. I’m tired of being lied about and demonized. I’m tired of fake friends. I’m tired of spending months thinking people are angels when they’re really just liars. I am tired of being kicked when I’m down.

I’m tired of saying over and over again that I need people to tell me how they feel so that I can be the best I can for them only for no one to be truthful to me. I’m tired of being treated like a monster when the real monsters are in your own mirrors. I’m tired of being broken by the people I would have broken myself for. I’m tired of every little thing I do being perceived as a slight, I am tired of being accused of “playing the victim” when I am HURTING. I am hurting. Really fucking bad. More than any of you can imagine.

I’m tired of no one talking about me TO me.

I’m tired of people actively trying to provoke me and fuel my insecurities.

I am tired of being expected to just accept hurt, slander, and abuse simply because any attempt I make to defend myself or fight back will be perceived as me being “hostile” or “dangerous”.

I’m tired of people thinking they can stab a dog and then be angry when it bites them.

All I ever wanted was to be good enough. Good enough for the people I care about, good enough for you. I just wanted to be sufficient. To make you happy, to be respected. When I tell you I would have given my life for some of the people who’ve harmed me, I am not bluffing. I trusted them, I hung on their every word… I just wanted to be good enough for you. And you seemed like angels. And I would have broken myself just to make you happy. But you never communicated or told me when I did something wrong. And the second I said “hey, that was mean, don’t do that” or “hey, this person is hurting people I care about, can you please talk to them about it?” not only did you do nothing, you acted like I was being unreasonable to ask such.

And I’m so tired of still loving these people. So tired of still giving you the benefit of the doubt, internally giving you grace you would never give to me. I am tired of excusing your actions. Yes, everyone processes things differently, but there is a massive difference between needing time to process things and refusing to even try to handle a situation. I deserve to be angry, I deserve to hate you. Because I DIDN’T deserve this. For so long I’ve internalized all the things you’ve said and despised myself, having to hide that insecurity so that others couldn’t hurt me with it, but no more. Nothing I have ever done has ever warranted this. Nothing has warranted the mental and emotional torment I’ve been put through, no one deserves to suffer in the way I have. I am not exaggerating or trying to be dramatic when I say that this whole mess has been downright traumatic. I am… physically shaking and have spent hours crying over everything for months and I am so sick of suffering.

I don’t deserve this, these people never deserved me, and I deserve people who are willing to understand and communicate with me. I deserve people who actually care about me. And luckily, I have plenty of lovely people like that. I just wish I didn’t think y’all were some of them…

And even then. It doesn’t mean I don’t miss and love the people I thought I knew…

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android-anathema · 23 days

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Apparently I'm in the 99.9th percentile for borderline traits and the 64th for people woth BPD. I was at once mortified and relieved to see this. It seems to fly in the face of my own experience that ive gotten much better but in another way it tracks completely. Ive been feeling terrible when nothing should be wrong and not really like being depressed. From an overwhelming sense of having no place in the world and deeply distrusting and feeling alienated from everyone around me that persists whether theres anything to provoke it. Its not a thing that feels like being unwell, it just feels true. As is typically the case with complex trauma (which is functionally the same thing as BPD in the ICD-11. im diagnosed with BPD for insurance reasons)

I score low on measures of depression and PTSD alone seems inadequate to describe how i feel and is an area that's been getting better anyway, but in many ways i feel more alienated and angry than ever. A stronger sense of helplessness and preoccupation with revenge. Which just makes sense as complex trauma symptomstend to be particularly stubborn as far as the officially recognised trauma based disorders go.

So thats comforting in a way. I dont just feel bad for no reason and the reason is something which typically resolves in your late 20's to 30's without treatment if you stay alive and arent unable to escape some major problem like homelessness or an abusive situation which would interrupt the natural mechanism for recovering from trauma. Seeing it in numbers like this... 99.9th percentile... 0.1% of the population and 36% of those with a rare and severe mental illness could understand me is what i see. So that's just it then. Ive experienced something almost no one can understand and it makes me strange. Separates me from other people and makes it impossible to ever not be alone. Or thats what it feels like. If someone said they couldnt understand what it must be like for me because theyve never been through anything similar i would balk at that. I would think to myself that this world is so willfully ignorant, complacent and accepting of violence people imagine they're just incapable of understanding anyone whose been victimised in a serious way to shirk the highly difficult and arduous process of spending 30 minutes reading about it or having a conversation with someone about what its like for them. A sentiment that might not even correlate to whatever it was they were trying to communicate. They might not mean anything at all but just having heard someone else say it feel like its something youre supposed to say in such a situation. But it doesnt matter! Consistency is irrelevant and explanations are pointless. All that exists is the unbridgeable gap between me and everyone else. There is no need to prove it, it is an axiom by which all other potential truths are measured not something to be proved itself

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sweetbillwriting · 8 months

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This Is Bad, Billy

The Finale Part

Characters: AU Bill Skarsgård, here called Billy. He's inspired by real life Bill but also the character Clark Olofsson in the Netflix series Clark.

Setting: This story is set in the 60s New York.

Warnings: 18+, historical preferences, mental health problems, mental illness, abuse, racism, drugs, mentions about sex, mentions about rape. All opinions is the characters' own and not mine.

Note: This is the finale part! Thank you for reading, liking and reblogging 💖

I walked in farther into the room to look at the lacy thing laying next to Billy's pillow and it really was a pair of panties. I stood and stared at them until he came up next to me.

"Is it something?" He asked, wondering and searching my eyes. I made an unamused sound and looked at him with a headshake.

"Is that a pair of panties?" I asked and pointed to the garment. Bill looked towards the bed then took a pair of fast steps towards the bed, laughed and put the panties in his back pocket.

"You're unbelievable! You have been free for like a couple of hours!"

Bill gave me a confused look and an exaggerated shoulder shrug.

"That has nothing to do with it!"

"Yes it has! I’m really starting to wonder what kind of person you are! And if I want to help you!" I said upset. I thought that would make him shut up but Billy looked just even more provoked.

"So what? You don't want to help me because I slept with someone? What did you expect? That you and I would become an item as soon as we met?"

"No! Or… You don't even remember me so that wouldn't happen!"

Bill shook his head with a smile even if he didn't think it was funny then he dragged both of his hands through his slicked back hair.

"It doesn't matter! Come on! We haven't seen each other for like seven years! You're married and I am engaged!"

I stared at him but had a hard time understanding what he was saying. He sighed and dragged a pinky through his eyebrow while looking down at the floor.

"Engaged?" I asked with a small voice and sat down on Landon's bed that was behind me. Billy sat down next to me but he couldn't stop himself from smiling.

"Yeah and now there is really a chance for me to marry her. Before it had just felt like I was holding her back but… You can make it possible for us to live as wife and husband."

He looked at me with pleading eyes and then carefully laid his hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it away fast and stood up with an irritated groan.

"Why would I help you with that?! You have lied to me this whole time!"

He looked confused and leaned forward with one hand on his knee. He was dressed in a well worn white tank top and the dark blue pants from the institution. I was so angry at him but he made it hard for me to not look at him inappropriately.

"I haven't lied? Or not about that. I just don't talk about myself like that. I'm sorry, but I don't need to talk with you about such things. I'm so grateful that you want to help me but you're not a part of my life."

His words were hurtful and I wanted to object but nothing of what he said was untrue. He hadn't shared anything with me, not when we were younger and not now.

"And I shouldn't need to ask this… But aren't you married?"

I made a frustrated sound and stomped my feet like a toddler and then walked out from his hotel room. Like I would help a guy like him.

I walked around the hotel a while to calm down. If I came back to Daniel all upset he would have wondered what had happened and would probably even figure it was something with Billy again. He didn't deserve that. We had decided to go back to Spain and leave this mess behind and I owed him to just stay on that path now, without letting Billy affect me.

I took a deep breath before walking into the hotel room but felt the air I exhale get stuck in my nose when I heard Landon's voice from the room. He was lying on his back in the unmade bed while Daniel sat in an armchair in front of him. It was obvious Landon was the one who spoke while my husband was the listener.

"So yeah, like my life has also sucked without him you know? I just want to be around him even if I get in his shadow. But he's my best friend."

My husband gave me a quick look but then looked back at Landon again when he continued to talk.

"And now he is all grown up. A fiancee? I didn't even think he had it in him to have a friend with benefits type of deal. He has always been a free soul. Like me. But he is fucking engaged now and maybe he can help me get grounded too?" Landon looked at me when he stopped talking and gave me a weird looking smile I couldn't interpret.

"So what's his plan now?" Daniel asked and sat up in the arm chair. It was like my presence had made him get an idea and he looked at me with bright eyes. He probably just saw the engagement as something good, even if it didn't matter now when we would go.

"If he’s freed, he will marry her. Have like five kids, I think. And become a teacher. He hopes to be able to teach in literature and drama."

Daniel nodded with a smile while I just waited on them to be done so we could take a cab to the airport. I didn't even want to be at the hotel anymore.

"Honey, you heard? Such a beautiful plan. Almost like ours. You must help him," Daniel said and stood up so he could walk up to me. Even if I had thought it would be over now I wasn't surprised Daniel thought I should help Billy, now when he wasn't his competition anymore. Daniel was a great man and he would always stand on the less fortunates's side. They were qualities that I loved in him, values I also tried to live by so the most natural thing was to help Billy but there was too much that made it hard. At that moment it was mostly the thought of seeing Billy with another woman that stopped me but what gave me most anxiety was meeting my dad.

Landon looked at my face that had become pale and I looked back at him. If he hadn't now learned to read me he would have begun to beg me to do it but now we looked at each other and we knew that I would do it even if everything in me screamed not to. But it was the right thing, I would never be able to live with myself knowing I had once again left Billy in an institution and even if I didn't know him, I knew he didn't deserve that.

×××

I had pictured the hearing would be in a big courtroom where I could sit in the back avoiding my father but the room where Billy's freedom was discussed wasn't bigger than mine and Daniel's living room in Spain. It was three rows of chairs behind two tables where Billy and Tom Thomas sat by the left one while the prosecutor sat by the other. In front of them sat the judge, a white little man in thick rimmed glasses. I looked at him while walking up to the stand. I had seen that my father was sitting behind the prosecutor and I would do everything in my power to not look at him.

"Good morning Ms. Woods, good morning," said Tom Thomas in his normal energetic way and I gave him a nod and a small smile as an answer.

"In 1961 you worked as a candy striper, it's not common candy stripers work in the psychiatric ward so how did you find a position there?" He asked and I looked towards Billy who sat leaned back in his chair. He had a black suit on and played with his tie.

"I was late so the doctor in charge gave me that job as a punishment but I liked it so I think I talked with the head nurse there," I said and pretended to not remember how I had lied to be able to be close to Billy.

"When did you meet Bill Skarsgård there?"

"I think it was the second time I was there."

The judge sighed.

"Thomas, can you maybe come to the important things? This isn't a trial."

Tom Thomas looked a bit embarrassed. He probably wanted this to be something bigger where he could be the lawyer in the spotlight.

"Ms. Woods, can you tell us about your relationship with Mr. Skarsgård. Did you have a sexual relationship with him?"

I turned in my chair in discomfort and it was then I also forgot to not look to my right because just when I was about to answer I saw my dad's face. He looked at me with dark eyes. He was older and thinner and didn't look the way I remembered him but his eyes were the same but now even harsher, forcing me to stay quiet.

"Ms. Woods?" Said Tom a bit worried and tried to make me look at him. I looked at Billy instead. He also looked worried and picked at the cuticle on his thumb.

"Yes. Yes," I just said as an answer and nodded.

"Was it under consent?"

I nodded without letting Billy go with my eyes.

"I'm sorry but you must answer verbally."

I gave Tom a quick look then I continued to watch Billy again. He looked at me, with big boyish eyes and I made a mental sigh.

"Yes. I wanted to have sex with him."

The judge cleared his throat in discomfort and Tom gave me an alarming look. He had said I should act like a woman with class, but never as a victim. To say out loud that I wanted to have sex with Billy was probably not so classy.

"Why do you think your father said to the police Skarsgård had raped you?"

"Objection, speculative," the prosecutor said and Tom gave the man an annoyed look.

"I’ll rephrase it, did you give any reasons for your father to believe Skarsgård raped you?"

I licked my lips and looked down in my lap. I could feel my dad's eyes on me, like a sharp knife cutting in the side of my neck.

"I let Billy climb in through the window to my bedroom during the night and my parents caught us. But I said to my dad that I wanted to be with Billy intimately. I said it loud and clear." I said the word just as loud and clear then and looked towards the judge. The judge looked back at me, in my eyes, from left to right with a serious expression. I was cleaned up and pretty. My wedding ring adorned my finger and in the third row seat sat my husband as support. I looked like a classy woman, a classy woman that one time had been a stupid in love teenager.

I heard my dad clear his throat. Me and the judge had looked at each other a long time and probably knew everyone else in the room what I knew. The judge had seen me, he had listened to me.

×××

I stood on the stairs to the courthouse when two long arms wrapped around me from behind. They were thick with muscles and the chest so broad it swallowed me up. I gave Daniel a look who stood in front of me, smiling in discomfort but when I felt Billy's cheek against mine I couldn't stop myself from shutting my eyes and smiling.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," he said against my cheek and lifted me up from the ground. I giggled and snuggled in even closer to him before he sat me down again. Before he had come out I had just stood heavy with anxiety, listening to Daniel's sweet talk about our future in Spain but Billy had made that anxiety die just from a simple hug. I looked at him with a smile while he shook Daniel's hand and also thanked him and then he breathed out in relief.

"We're going back to the hotel, mom will be there soon," I said and Billy nodded feverishly.

"I want to meet her. Is it okay if I meet her before she testifies?"

I shrugged my shoulders but then looked behind me, a bit of commotion made me stop. It was just Samuel and his family coming out from the doors, applauding and cheering for Billy. Billy turned around, laughed and made a bow. Samuel looked at him with a fatherly look and gave him a hard hug. Billy continued to hug the rest of the family. I didn't think so much of it, I even started to make myself ready to go when I saw that he didn't just hug the last person but also kissed her. She was beautiful but also so similar to Samuel. Billy kissed her again, much more intimate and the rest of the family shouted and cheered.

"Soon I can marry you. I will give you the biggest, most expensive wedding New York has seen!"

The girl laughed and threw herself around his shoulders. I just stood and stared at them. A moment ago his body had been pushed against mine, killing all my anxiety. Now I had anxiety again and it got even worse when my father came out from the courthouse with another man in a suit. He looked at Samuel's big family and Billy celebrating before they had even got the verdict. I could see in his expression what he thought and he made it even obvious when he spit right in front of their feet. He was an awful man and I would never ever want to be even remotely alike him.

×××

I could feel my mother's nerves when we walked into the courtroom. I looked at her while she looked around nervously. Maybe it had been better if she met Billy before the witness stand but I hadn't felt like meeting him. There were too many emotions surrounding his engagement and I needed time to be able to accept that he would soon be a married man.

"Where, where is he?" Asked my mother with a hard grip around her handbag's handles. Just because I was thinking about Billy I thought she met him and gave him a fast look where he sat in the front with Tom. He tried to say hello to us but I turned to my mother when I realized that she was talking about my father.

"I don't know, but it will be okay. Me and Daniel will take care of you. And there's guards everywhere."

She nodded worriedly and took off her hat when she saw the judge come out. In the corner of my eye I could see Tom and Billy come toward us and I took a deep breath. I really just wanted to be a good human, a good person, prove I was nothing like my dad and accept Billy's engagement and be nice and calm with him.

"Mrs. Woods?" Asked Billy with a small smile. It felt like it would have been more natural if Tom was the one addressing her but Billy was the charming one of them. My mom looked at him up and down and then took a deep breath. I wondered if she still had negative thoughts about him.

"Mr. Skarsgård," she said and shook his hand formally.

"It's really nice to meet you and I'm so grateful for you doing this."

She just gave him a nod with her lips pursed. She was nervous but she was also shy and being in a new environment probably made her uncomfortable.

"I'm Tom Thomas, Mr. Skarsgård's lawyer. I hope you know this will go fine and I don't have many questions for you and I don't think the prosecutor has either," said Tom and shook her hand harshly, not at all in that soft gentle way Billy had. I looked at Billy and he gave me a nervous smile. Of course he was also nervous, this was the final day of the hearing. Tomorrow he could be a free man or be forced back to the institution. Before I had time to smile back he had turned to my mother and taken her hand in his carefully. She looked up at him with big eyes and swallowed hard.

"Your… Mr. Woods isn't here, so you can be calm."

I furrowed my brows and looked between Billy and Tom.

"Where is he?"

Billy didn't let go of my mother's eyes and talked just to her calmly.

"He has run away. If I win this trial they will arrest him for what he has done to me and he chose to run before they could take him."

I looked at Billy and my mom, she had laid her other hand over Billy's forearm and hugged it hard.

"I will give all the help you need. Okay?" He said lowly to her and she nodded with tears in her eyes.

"I just feel so guilty…" she said with a low voice and looked down at their hands.

"Don't. This is Mr. Woods' wrongdoing and it can't be easy to live with a man like him."

My mother nodded and let her tears fall. Tom gave her a tissue from his briefcase and she took it but she continued to just look at Billy.

×××

Blue, red, white. The flags stared at me while we waited. They wanted to tell me about this country's pride and how justice would be skipped in these halls. I really hope they were right. Mom, me and Daniel stood in a corner outside of the courtroom to hear Billy's verdict. My mom didn't feel like she had any right to be in there, on Billy's side so we stood in the hallway and waited. I had rather wanted to be there but Billy's whole family was there, Samuel's family. I understood now why Billy called him dad. He actually was his father, his father in law.

The door opened by Billy himself and I knew what verdict he had got with the big smile on his lips. It was what we all had expected but no one was sure and my father had succeeded in manipulating the truth before.

"I'm free!" Screamed Billy a bit too loud for being in a big empty hallway but no one tried to kill his joy where he stood with his arms in the air. Everyone just laughed with him, everyone around him celebrated. I wanted to throw myself round his neck and kiss him, claim him now when he was free but I knew better. He had a fiance that had waited for him, who had promised him faithfulness even if he was locked up. I watched him lift her up in his arms and spin her around and they laughed together. I smiled because even if I wanted him I was happy seeing him so in love.

"Is that his girlfriend?" Asked my mother carefully. Billy's fiance was probably not the woman my mother expected a man white as snow to be together with.

"It's his fiancee," I answered shortly with a smile. I met Daniel's eyes and he smiled too and took my hand in his.

×××

Billy succeeded in getting us all a big table at a fancy restaurant. It was obvious people around us didn't appreciate our company's loud ways and some were my father's type and looked at Samuel and his family with annoyance just because of their skin color. I was afraid my mother would act the same but became happily surprised when I saw her talk with Samuel's wife.

"So you worked as a candy striper when you met?" I asked Billy's fiancee, Shirlee. She sat opposite of me in a green tweed dress over a white blouse.

"No, no. I wasn't that young. I was a caretaker but it wasn't for a long time, they stopped having female caretakers." She gave Billy a look who sat next to her and he smirked a bit.

"But now you're a teacher?" I said with a bright smile to mask my jealousy.

"Yes! And it's so fulfilling, I've even succeeded to put that idea into Billy's head, he would be an amazing teacher."

We continued to talk about easy subjects and she was impressed by my model career. I didn't mention Billy had been a big reason why I had succeeded but I looked at him with a small thankful smile while talking. Shirlee didn't seem to notice and would maybe not see it as a big thing either, Billy gave her so much attention and closeness. I couldn't stop myself from feeling a need to show off that me and Daniel also were in love so I played with his hand in mine and dragged my fingers over his neck. When I did that it felt like Billy looked at us but if he did he had turned away so fast I didn't succeed to get it confirmed.

It was a good night, everyone in Samuel's family was so nice and everyone wanted to celebrate Billy's freedom, even my mom drank a bit too much but by 9 pm Daniel thought it was time to go back to the hotel. I had given up on Billy and with that I also tried to embrace my role as Daniel's wife so I let him decide and together with my mom we walked to the hotel.

My mom looked around when we walked. Her eyes were big and she wore a small smile the whole time. She had never been to New York but seemed to really like what she was seeing.

"Can't we just get a drink in the hotel bar? I just… Want to look at people. They dress so nice and look so fancy," she said with a giggle. I had never seen my mom like that and I giggled too. Daniel looked tired at us and rubbed his eyes.

"I'm going to bed…" he just said and then steered his steps to the elevators. My mom did the same but looked at me with a smile.

"I have a nicer dress in my room I want to change to," she said with a playful smile and I smiled encouragingly.

I followed her to her room while Daniel went to our room and I sat down on the bed while she changed and fixed her makeup. She was different in New York. Or without dad.

"Billy is so sweet. I can understand why you fell so hard for him," she said while putting on some new blue eyeshadow.

A smiled a little but I felt more saddened by talking about him.

"And he's so tall!" She said with a giggle.

"Yeah…" I cleared my throat.

"What do you think about Daniel, you know my husband?"

My mom looked at me through the mirror and smiled a bit.

"He's sweet too."

I nodded but smirked sarcastically.

"But not like Billy?"

My mother didn't seem to understand what I felt and she smirked back.

"Well, Billy has another charisma and… He has those Hollywood good looks. But Daniel is a sweet guy."

I wanted to say something snide but she was right and there was also a knock on the door just then so instead of giving my mom an oversensitive comment I opened the door.

It was Billy. He stood with his hands deep in the front of his suit pants while the white shirt sat sloppy on him, untucked with too many buttons open. His hair was still pushed back but some strains had pushed their way out and laid down in his face. He looked criminally handsome.

"Oh, hey. I was actually here to talk to your mother?" He said with an amused smile and looked me up and down.

I gave him a strange look but he looked at something behind me and waved.

"Mrs. Woods, is it okay if I come in?" He asked with a charming smile and stretched.

She smiled warmly at him and looked at herself in the mirror in her powder box.

"Of course, what do you want this late?"

Billy took some steps into the hotel room without looking at me.

"Well I was afraid you would go tomorrow without me being able to say goodbye. I want to give you my contact details so you can call me if you need any help." He took up a folded piece of paper from his pants pockets and stretched it out for her.

"Oh… But Billy, you don't need to help me? I owed you help." She opened the note and read the numbers. I looked at them and felt a bit left out, I didn't really have anything to do with this.

"It doesn't matter. You helped me and for that I want to help you, if you need it."

My mom smiled warmly and stretched out her hand towards Billy but to her surprise he dragged her into a hug. She laughed a little, almost embarrassed and Billy gave her a big smile. I started to wonder if I should leave them alone when he turned to me.

"What happened to all your porcelain dolls?" He asked with a playful smile. I looked at him confused and gave my mom a fast look.

"I don't know…" I was on my way to ask my mother when a question to Billy showed up in my head instead.

"Do you remember them?"

Billy laughed a little and sat down next to me on the bed.

"I actually laid at night and thought about what you had said when you testified and suddenly it "clicked". First you were just one of… my many female friends but when I got some information the pieces fell into place."

I looked at him with big eyes while he looked back at me with a boyish smile. He looked just like he did during our nights together. Just a bit older and much sexier. I almost didn't notice my mom slip out from the room to give us some privacy.

"You were so young and sweet. I wanted you so much but felt bad someone like me would be your first…"

He took my hand in his and I moved closer to him.

"No. Don't feel like that. I wanted you… I wanted you so bad…"

×××

Seven Months Later

He wore a black suit again but this one looked nicer. The one he had at the hearing was also nice but it was a bit out of style. This looked more in line with 1968s fashion, more daring. I smiled at seeing him from afar and took a sip from my glass. Billy looked back at me with a smirk while he talked with some people he worked with and with Landon by his side. They laughed together but he still gave me a look.

When he gave the men his full attention again I looked around in the restaurant. It was decorated with pink and red roses to fit a wedding. It was a fine restaurant but Billy had money to pay for it. I sighed a little to myself and corrected my dress that sat a bit too tight.

"You must entertain everyone," I said with a big smile when Billy came up to me along with Shirlee. His bride. She wore a short white lace dress with long sleeves and looked beautiful but also a bit sexy, such a girl Billy should have.

Billy made an amused sound and shook my hand and then Daniel's that stood behind me.

"You look lovely," said Daniel to Shirlee when he shook her hand.

"Thank you! And so do you," she turned to me and looked at me the way everyone looked at me for the moment, then down to my belly that was big and round.

I smiled at her and gave Billy a fast look before looking at Daniel with a smile. He laid an arm around me and pulled me closer to his body.

"What month are you in?" She asked and once again I gave Billy a fast look who looked at me with big eyes while playing with his glass between his fingers.

"I'm seven months pregnant," I said and smiled a little nervously. Shirlee just nodded brightly.

"Congratulations," said Billy and turned to Daniel. "A baby! Great job man," he said with a smirk and Daniel laughed a little.

"Can I…?" Billy lifted his hand to show he wanted to touch my belly and I nodded a little with a hammering heart. He laid a big warm hand over my yellow dress and I watched him drag it over my belly. When I looked at his face he just gave me a sweet smile.

"Bill, it's almost time for us to go," said Shirlee and pulled lightly in his arm. Billy let me go and took her hand in his.

"Thank you for coming all the way from Spain," said Shirlee to us while starting to walk towards her parents.

"Take care," said Billy with a nod and looked at me with an unreadable face and then down to my belly.

#bill skarsgård #bill skarsgard #fan fiction #writing #story #bill skarsgård writing #bill skarsgård fanfiction #fiction #clark

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thunderclaw100 · 2 months

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(Tallest Pepperoncini,Spinch,Hoola,Lich belongs to https://messinwitheddie.tumblr.com/ )

Tallest Pepperoncini hovered away from the break room. After his talk with his advisor, Spinch, he’s going to make things right about her little predicament with the general. As he was heading down the hallway, he met up with Hoola along the way. The drone must have been searching for him. His breathing his heavy, and he carried his tablet.

“My tallest, where were you just now?” He asked with haste. Speed walking beside his leader.

“Oh I was just taking a stroll, Hoola. Some of us like to take in the scenery of the ship, you know?”

“….You went to check up on Spinch, didn’t you?”

There’s no passing this drone with lying. Cini chuckled, embarrassed that he couldn’t come up with a better lie than that. “Yes. I wen to go see her. My little Spinch was n the break room, eating a plain sandwich. A struggle meal at that! All because she was being mocked at by a certain someone on this ship. I have already talked her into eating whatever she wants and to not listen to her abuser.” He said.

The two came to a turn and follow the path through another hallway. There are a few people here but paid no mind to them as they pass. The tallest is trying his best to keep up a front but Hoola can see past it that whatever happened to his adviser is troubling him.

“You’re talking about general Lich, right?”

Cini’s antennas twitched. As well as his right hand fingers. They made another turn to another pathway, which lead to a door at the end. This is a lounge room. Not one for a tallest but for his staff. Hoola looked at his tablet and set it to checking the tallest’s bio readings, distress signals and mental patterns. Each are showing abnormal readings and that’s something he’ll have to talk to a medics about.

“My tallest, you should get some rest. You’re starting to look edgy. I’ll send in wardrobe to get you into something more comfortable.” Hoola told him.

“What’s the point? I’ll only get two hours of rest before getting back to work.” Cini thought to himself.

They’ve finally reached the door. Cini turned to his drone, giving him a light smile. “Hoola, would you be a dear and hail general Lich for me?”

Hoola looked up from his tablet. “What do you need from him? He’s in the middle of battle training.”

“I just want to talk to him, Hoola.” Cini said.

Hoola had his doubts about it. He gave one last look at his tablet readings before putting it away. “Very well, my tallest. But please do not provoke this!”

He must mean Cini shouldn’t say anything that will get to Lich. That drone is a firecracker, just waiting to be ignited. The tallest nod his head and said nothing more before entering the room. “I almost forgotten how small this place is, compared to my own.”

His mind went back to Spinch and what she told him about Lich. The tears in her eyes were held back but Cini could still see them. The nerve of that drone! The tallest looked down at his trembling fingers.was it out of anxiety? Or anger? He decided to get to the bottom of this. Cini got out his holo screen and pulled up Lich’s info. He’s got a lot going on in his reports from others. This will start up the topic.

“Such an angry child.”

About a couple of minutes later, a knock was heard at the door and Cini gave permission to enter. As expected, it’s just the Irken he wanted to speak to.

“Greetings, general Lich.” Cini said. He’s laid out on the cushion couch. Though it is much smaller that him. He tried to make himself look comfortable on it. Lich walked forward. He does not look pleased to be here. Not like other irkens who would be excited to be in their tallest’s presence right now.

“You hailed for me, my tallest?” Lich said in a plain tone. Standing close to the door than near his leader. Even after Cini motion for him to come over.

“Yes. I want to speak to you about your bad behavior. I have looked you up on the database and your files are filled with complaint reports.” Cini said.

“Snooping inside my files? Isn’t that the job of the control brains? Never thought that YOU of all people would sink that low just to get to me.” Lich chuckled.

“You have a long history, Lich. But I’ve only ready some of it. You shouldn’t start fights that aren’t wanted. You’ve pushed a soldier down the garbage shoot, send a medic to the infirmary with a broken antenna after he didn’t give you better healing results. Two young cadets are now traumatized because of your training method, which involved a war beast. I’m surprised no one came to me about this. Did you threaten them as well, general?” Cini can see a sly smirk appearing on Lich’s face.

“Whatever do you mean, my tallest?”

“Spinch said that you were mocking her weight and eating habits. That you stepped on her back while she was trying to exercise. I want to know why?”

A simple question but Lich looked at him like he was given a million of them. His smirk turned into a grin. “Spinch? You mean that over bloated wench of yours? I did not mock her. I merely gave her a reason to lose that extra fat. Then again, she’ll just gain it all back from all that snacking she does.” Lich laughs.

Cini did not share his humor. He got up from the couch and hovered over to him. His voice dropped to a serious tone. “Now you listen to me, Lich. I don’t know where the hell you get off to causing others pain, but it needs to stop. RIGHT NOW!”

Lich felt his body jolt at his tallest’s voice. He hasn’t heard him sound like this before. “What’s the big deal? She’s just a drone. A short one at that.”

If it weren’t for his better demeanor, Cini would be fuming right now from that comment. “How dare you speak horribly of my advisor with such disrespect, you half-sighted snake! I have known about your bad behavior for centuries now, but I have turned a blind eye to your actions because it was not reported to me directly. Maybe as punishment, I should take away the one thing you still hold today?” Cini said.

Lich’s antennas dropped at the threat. “You’re….going to demote me?” The fear in his eyes is clearly showing. He’s worked too hard to reach the rank of high general. Can he lose it instantly like that?Cini looked like he was considering it for a moment.

“Maybe. If you don’t want that to happen, then I suggest you lighten up your attitude, and stop terrorizing everyone. We’re all equals here, Lich.”

Lich wanted to comment about that with a rude remark but silenced himself after getting that look from his leader. He felt his body trembling with new found hatred for his tallest. Even more than how he used to growing up. Now Cini’s threatening his position, all because of some short drone. If he we’re tallest, things will be fixed about that.

“Listen, I’m only scolding you in hopes it would at least let you realize what you’re doing to others, Lich. People are afraid of you. And I can tell that you’re not easily satisfied with anything but results.” Cini placed his hand on Lich’s shoulder. The general wanted to eagerly swipe it away but didn’t do it. Why is he acting nice now after saying all of that?

“I apologize, my tallest. I will do better in the future.” He had to say that through his teeth. The tallest nod his head. Maybe this news will lighten everyone’s mood now. Cini realized that he has kept the drone away from his duties for too long.

“May this be our only confrontation….Dismissed.”

He waved his hand to signal that Lich can leave. The general gave a bow before turning on his heels and marching through the door. Luckily Cini did not see the look on his face as he left out though. After that was over, the tallest let out a tired breath.

“Finally. The tensions out of the room. Lich seemed to have taken that….ok? If I hadn’t said anything to him, who knows what else Lich could get away with. That couch is not up to date when I comes to comfiness.” Cini said. Pulling up another holo screen.

“Hoola? I’m finished over here. You can hail wardrobe for me now. And bring me a vanilla milkshake!”

“Will be there soon, my tallest.”

After ending that call, Cini got out of that room and returned to his own chambers. “Oh thank irk….”

#invader zim #fanart #irken #Tallest Pepperoncini #Hoola #Lich #Spinch

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pile-of-bugs · 3 months

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Today's bug: Tailless whip scorpion!

Sorry I haven't been active for so long.. anyways I got a new pet today - this female tailless whip scorpion (likely Phrynus whitei), so I'll tell you about them!

Tailless whip scorpions are arachnids in the Order Amblypygi (am-BLIP-idge-eye) and they're quite ancient! They even look a bit prehistoric, I think. There's about 150 species of tailless whip scorpion.

Adapted for crawling around dark forests and cave walls, these arthropods are nearly blind - their simple eyes giving them only vague information, like the level of surrounding light. That's where their loooong 2nd pair of legs come in!

(image source: Wikimedia)

See those long "whips" from which they get their name? Those are for feeling their surroundings. When active, they'll be constantly moving around them around to sense their environment. The whips are very fragile and can break easily, but can be regrown every molt!

(image source: Frank Deschandol on iNaturalist)

Tailless whip scorpions are NOT scorpions, nor are they spiders. And those terrifying front claws aren't legs either - they're heavily modified mouthparts, pedipalps to be precise. Speaking of scorpions, their grabby claws are also their pedipalps! In spiders, these are those cute little appendages right next to the chelicerae (the things that have the fangs).

Unlike both scorpions and spiders, however, a tailless whip scorpion cannot bite or sting. They're almost totally harmless! Practically the posterchild for "don't judge a book by its cover," these are some of the friendliest arachnids in the world. You have to seriously to make one angry (which is basically abuse, so don't do that), and even then they'll only try smacking you with their thorny pedipalps, never biting with their fangs.

About the only truly scary part of handling them (once you get past their appearance) is their speed. These things normally move very slowly (on account of the "blind and has to touch everything" thing), but if startled, they'll bolt in the opposite direction with incredible speed! They really, really would rather not confront you at all. I cannot emphasize enough how completely NOT dangerous these arachnids are, despite their look!

(image source: Jonathan's Jungle Roadshow)

Btw, did you know the mommas make great parents? Like many other large arachnids, the mothers will take their young with them until they're large enough to hunt on their own. They hatch from an egg pouch carried on the underside of the abdomen, which looks absolutely alien - in the source for the above image, you can find pictures of the whole process.

You may have seen this meme ^ Their pedipalps, usually folded up, can also unfold to catch prey or defend themselves (in the original video for this pic, the owner is provoking this reaction - something I don't condone, even if it showcases their grab ability very well). Tailless whip scorpions are carnivores, and the prey they catch are usually small insects like crickets or flies.

Tailless whip scorpions are found in almost every warm, tropical part of the world - Central/South America, Africa, Asia, and even some islands like the Phillipines!

Here's my t.w.s.' habitat. They're very easy pets to take care of! Just make sure you have a habitat that favors verticality - they need to be able to climb to feel at home! Cork board is best, either just on the back, or 2-3 sides of the enclosure. Humidity is a must, so have the base be filled with cocofiber, then add water and perhaps a heating pad set on low to maintain moisture. Moss helps too! All that's left is to feed them - just once or twice a month is enough.

The light on my display is too hot, and heats up the plastic really quickly, so I only use it briefly to find and observe her. They don't actually need light since they're used to being in the dark!

I hope you liked these facts on tailless whip scorpions. If you know more facts, lmk or just add it to the post! I'm still learning things myself - like for example, you can tell males/females apart by the size of their pedipalps (the males have reaaaally long pedipalps, like the one in that meme, the females have much shorter ones).

#bugs #bug #nature #insect #insects #entymology #forest #zoology #arachnid #arachnids #spiders #spider #whip scorpion #tailless whip scorpion #creepy

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the-woild-is-y-erster · 7 months

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ok this is for anyone but i think @newsiesfixation @crutchie-69 @toffyrats and @ftm-megamind have asked more times than i can count an im rly sorry i keep forgoring to do it <3

personalities of my newsies ocs, shoe and eel!! my little guys<3

ill start with shoe ig

shoe is kind of a davey. he's trained himself to be quiet.

his parents are irish, but he got bullied so much in school for having an accent that he tried so hard to get rid of it, and now it only comes out when he's really angry. his family, being irish, was big, and had a lot of kids, and he was left on a curb when he was 12, told there wasn't enough food to go around, and went to the queens lodging house.

i decided on a whim last week that he has a stutter when he gets nervous, and relies on eel to get him to slow down and take his time with his words. (also lmk if i ever write his stutter wrong, i really don't want it to be bad)

he was kind of shoved into the back of the group of his siblings as a kid, being the middle child, and he knew his parents really did love him, and they were kind, but he was always the last to eat and they were too busy with the babies to pay much attention to him. he's kind and compassionate, and is very sarcastic and funny. he has a loud voice, but knows when to speak softly. he still speaks a little irish gaelic, but not much, only the pet names and little commands his mother would say.

he's intelligent, but he's not always smart. (does this make sense?)

he and eel adore eachother, despite eel's understandable hesitance to let him get anywhere close to him, because shoe's like. really tall. and chubby. my lil chunky guy<3 but like, most of it is muscle mass? like. hes built like a blacksmith's son if you know what i mean. he's like 5'11 and 200-odd lbs and is. just. so gentle.

he's really good with kids from having so many siblings, but gets frustrated easily. the newsies who have been around for years know not to tease or provoke him too much, because he'll either lash out, or you'd better watch around the corners for his bf, because he can and will forcibly remove you from this plane of exsistence.

eel my buddy. my boy. who was totally not based on me why would you say that.

he's loud, he's funny, and so. so. sad.

he's had a lot of bad experiences with older men, hence his hesitancy to let shoe near him. he adores the feeling of being onstage, and works for medda when he has free time, sometimes as an acrobat, sometimes as a bowery beauty (cus he's kinda short and can pass as female if you give him a wig and a few minutes with a makeup bag.)

his parents were horrible and his brother even worse, and he's terrified of the people he loves leaving him because his brother left him alone in an abusive house to go to univeristy. eel's parents never bothered to look for him after he ran away. his family were fairly well off, so he knew what general comfort was until he ran away, and then quickly learned the rules of the streets.

he sometimes feels like he's too much for shoe, that he's too loud, too touchy, too everything, and tries to distance himself, which just ends in shoe bein like "bbg i dunno why you ever think i would leave you, im too stupid to pull anyone else, and youre also stupid because youre great stfu and come cuddle me"

he loves the stars, and always wished he could get a real telescope.

this boy is smart. like you give him a problem and he has it solved in a minute, he knows how to handle situations, he knows how to lie, he knows how to manipulate, but he's also book smart. he loves history, and while he may not like doing math, he's good at it.

he thinks of dimes as his son, despite there only being a two year difference between them, and he would never admit it to anyone. "little brother? nah, he's a little bother" he is so. so protective over him, because he wants to be the father big brother he never had for dimes. he treats him like any brother would, teasing and joking, but knows when to lay off and when to genuinely ask if he's ok and if he wants to talk or ask for a hug.

he never knows when to ask for help, and has gotten in a lot of trouble for it, be it fights or injuring himself trying to do something alone.

he broke his ankle once, and it never quite healed right, so it hurts when he gets stressed and makes a sick crunchy noise when he rolls it around (which he finds funny to do around the newer newsies and see the horror on their faces)

chiara! who i came up with at like two am!

eel found her in a basket in an alley with a note that said that her parents couldn't care for her, and he was like "aight bet imma be a father at the ripe age of sixteen and imma be the best father there ever was"

she was like. a month old when he found her, and he had literally no clue how to take care of her so he turned to eden (the lodging house keeper shes so nice) and she showed him the ropes of taking care of a baby

once she gets old enough to emote and show preference for things, chiara is very opinionated, and clings onto eel with a death grip, and is very mischevious.

eel and shoe raised her together, so she calls them babbo (eel) and papa (shoe) and doesnt know that dimes isnt actually her brother, and the three of them teach her to sell papers once she gets older. she's also really smart, and starts talking early. eel teaches her italian along with english, and she absolutely adores eden, or 'nonna' as she calls her.

oh my god just thought of this (why am i thinking of aus for characters that dont even technically exsist LMAAOO) in a modern au she'd call dimes/charlie 'char char' or 'charizard' please-

i'll draw her l8r today maybe so you can all see what she looks like

shoe n eel call her fia/fiadh instead of her first name like 90% of the time, and after she becomes a fully fledged newsie, her nickname is nickles, partly because her brother is dimes and the rest of them thought it was funny, and partly because she can wheedle a nickle out of anyone for a pape, and also partly because whenever she and the boys play poker, she bets in nickles.

anyway theyre a horrible little family<3

#lmk if you have questions i love talking about them<3 #newsies oc #ezekiel 'eel' 'zeke'#harvey 'shoe' sellers #chiara fia cattaneo

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bunshr00m · 4 months

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i love ddlc+ because it puts even more perspective as to why characters act the way they do in the original game. i especially loved the insight into natsuki and yuri. we just assumed that natsuki was just angry all the time for no reason, right? the fact her father abused her does also explain her abrasive language as thats probably how she's used to being spoken to, but ddlc+ made me realize how she is very rarely malicious deliberately, and the fact that she is genuinely bad with social cues. normally people would think of yuri when it comes to a lack of social awareness, but i'm telling you, they both have it, they just act in different ways.

i love how natsuki and yuri are two sides of the same coin. yuri is bad with social cues and typically responds in embarrassment when she misses them, meanwhile natsuki responds in anger. however, even though they seem so different, their behaviour is actually similar. they both hide true parts of themselves out of self esteem issues, prohibiting themselves from talking about their passions if they come across as "too intense" or "childish". though yuri's most common reaction to rejection is self-blame, at least on the surface, she does show anger occasionally because deep down, she feels like she should have a right to be herself just as much as natsuki does, she just typically defaults to a flight response rather than a fight one.

i think them being so similar is why they tend to bring out the worst in each other. a funny difference between the girls' routes in ddlc is that either natsuki or yuri will suggest writing poems about the same subject to the other, and the other will suspect them of doing it to show off, because they don't trust each other enough to think either of them had pure intentions. when really, they did, they just reached each other in a state where the other is not ready to trust (because the trauma from feeling like their personalities are wrong and should be changed makes trust hard!!) right person, wrong time, even.

i'm sprinkling in some of my own headcanons/theories here but i think natsuki probably has ptsd due to the way she's constantly on high alert to defend herself, she always assumes that she's being personally attacked, and it takes a lot to settle her down, probably because she *does* get attacked at home and it creates a sense of panic in her when she senses that happening in whats supposed to be her safe place. as for yuri, ddlc+ pretty much convinced me that she's on the autism or add spectrum, maybe both. she seems to have rejection sensitive dysphoria along with her missing many social cues and being easily overstimulated.

i used to dislike yuri quite a bit because i found her hypocritical and didn't understand why she was polite one second, then arguing intensely the next. i felt more sympathy for her when i realized that like all humans, she gets overwhelmed having to hold in how she feels and is hyprocritical in her arguments because her emotions run so high that she can't think straight when hurt, it becomes all about how she feels because selfishness is a mechanism to protect herself from pain. with how uncomfortable she gets being referred to as "the smartest" she probably feels like the club has an expectation of her which she is afraid to break, so she conforms until she can't take it and lashes out when provoked.

natsuki and yuri's arguments are literally just them riling each other up without realizing because they're both thinking "i'm literally just being myself what is your problem" when really they've been hurting each other on a personal level without even knowing how personal their insults are, because to them, t's just their opinions, and they are bad at expressing them carefully.

anyway i love these silly sweeties who don't know how to communicate

#ddlc #doki doki literature club #ddlc+#ddlc plus #doki doki literature club plus #natsuki ddlc #yuri ddlc #natsuri

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seventeenplug · 1 year

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You won't even look at me nowadays (Min Yoongi X reader)

Pairing: Min Yoongi X gender neutral. partner

Warning: Mentions and slight description of an abusive childhood. His father left him and his siblings. Mother abused him. Reader being angry for being ignored. His hacker name is Seven, because I'm not original and just used the Mystic Messenger name lol.

Genre: Angst + fluff at the end

Summary: You met Yoongi at a pet shop, you were looking for a cat and coincidentally you two liked the same furry friend and argued about it until you decided to make visits. It became easier once you two became a couple. However, it also became harder when you realized that he worked as a hacker with the government.

Word Count:

It isn't as if he chose to ignore you as you laid on his couch, eyeing as he worked hard on what he was doing on his computer. You knew he had to. This was the life he had chosen, and this was the man you chose for yourself, despite all the risks and concerns surrounding his work.

It would never be easy, ever since the truth about him and his 6 brothers being the discarded children of a wealthy man came out, work became harder and their identities became at risk of exposure which made their stance at the workplace difficult and Yoongi struggled to not lose his only source of income.

Nonetheless, you were tired. He had hardly paid you any attention these past few days. You couldn't make yourself seen for longer than 2 seconds which was when he thanked you for the food you brought him or for bidding you goodnight once you became tired at night whilst waiting for him.

"Yoongi..." you called out, your eyes watching his figure typing rapidly. He hums in response to your voice, but nevertheless doesn't turn around making you sigh. "What is it? Do you have something you want to say?" He asks confused, he knew you had been bottling something up, seeing as you never kept quiet and usually spoke your mind if something bothered you. But this time, you were quiet, and he wondered why that seemed to be. "Nothing, forget it. Just carry on with your work" you huff, standing up from his wine colored couch and making your way to the entrance of his home.

Upon hearing your steps he turned to look at you, standing up from his chair startled. He just couldn't seem to understand what had provoked you in such a way that you wouldn't tell him what was wrong and just choose to leave his house like that.

"Wait. Wait! Where are you going?" he rushed to you, grabbing onto your arm and pulling you back from the entrance. "I'm leaving. Just let me go, Seven. I'm tired" you mumble, face turned away from him, his eyes that searched yours in hopes of an answer stared at you softly.

"You... you can sleep here. You have my bedroom. I- I can change the sheets. Or the pillows. Whatever it is, I can do it for you" he hurriedly says, his hands working to trap both of yours in his without your notice. You scoff, finally looking at him in anger. He looks at you, eyes widened waiting for your words. "What, so I sleep while you work? And wake up alone again? I'd rather sleep in my own apartment then. At least I have the cat's company" you raise your voice.

"You know I'm working. This is important!" He counterbacks. "So I'm not?!" You question, venom dripping from your tone. "You know that's not what I mean, Y/N - " "Save it, Seven. I've been here for days now. I took care of you, I fed you. Not only that, but I made sure you slept. I did all of that and for what?! A "thank-you"? You won't even look at me for longer than a second!" you yelled. He stared at you in shock. Never had you yelled at him, nor had you ever raised your tone in the 2 years that you two had been together. Inside he was reminded of his mother...

Her words hitting him in the back of his mind, the constant screaming, the way she would slap him for not hearing her, he slightly flinches as if he could still feel the leather strap hit his back, but he swallowed down the feeling. Trying his best to focus on your words and how you spoke them. You were tired... of him... his being.

"I'm sorry" was the only thing he mustered up to say to you. "Save it. I'm leaving, Seven" you repeated turning your back to him once more, but he places himself in between you and the door. "Wait, please... Don't do this" he pleads you. "You never call me Seven. Please, don't leave angry either. You promised. I-I will finish this one thing. It will take me 3 minutes, maximum. Please, just wait for me. I will spend the whole day with you. Please, don't leave" he begs you, eyes soft trying his best to convince you.

With a sigh, you nod. Your eyes locking on his computer for a second before you look back at him. "3 minutes, that's it. I'll have the clock running. If you pass it by a second, i'm out."

Yoongi almost fell trying to run to his computer, and you had to hold in your laugh, walking behind until you stood directly behind him watching him type even faster than before, something you thought was impossible, his hands moving miles as he typed fast trying to make the work good in the short time he had.

Already tired, you placed your arms over his shoulders, connecting your hands over his chest as you laid your head on you of his shoulder, closing your eyes. "Darling, I love you, but if you want me to finish this in 3 minutes you cannot distract me like this. And your hands and face are rather distracting" he whispered, his breath shaking along with his fastened heart beat which you could feel under your palm.

You removed yourself from him with a chuckle, deciding to just stand back and watch him work, and just as the chronometer beeped he finished, shutting it off as he stood up. "Done. Let's go" he smiles, grabbing onto your hand.

"Where?" You ask him raising an eyebrow confused. "Bedroom, to take a nap like you wanted to" he smiles at you, you retaliate grabbing onto his arm and almost dragging him into his bedroom, jumping into his bed and getting under the warm sheets cozying up next to him. A smile made its way onto your face as you finally managed to face your boyfriend, dark circles under his beautiful eyes.

Your hands move on their own, touching at his dyed dark brown hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. He sighs into your touch, eyes closing to enjoy in full bliss. "You know I love you, right? Always. Even when I'm busy. I'm just trying to make money so that I can give you the best" he mumbles quietly into your palm. "I know... But sometimes, I just want my boyfriend to watch me instead of a screen. Even if that means he becomes poor" you joke, combing his hair with your hands. He peeks at you through an eye, snickering before closing it again and pulling you closer, tugging you below his chin.

With a kiss to your forehead he leans his head on yours, breathing falling into a steady pace as he falls asleep, finally letting his tiredness carry him into dreamland. Not long after, you follow him, happy to once more find yourself in his embrace.

Published the 9th of December 2022 Sorry for not publishing earlier, but had a lot to study for ;-; I will try to publish on the weekend so hope you wait for those and hope you enjoyed this one :)

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imtooscaredforthis · 2 years

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Tethered

Part II- Chapter 17: Broken

Mentions: Angst, Child Abuse, Graphic Violence, Vomit, Breaking bones, etc.

A/N: This is a rough chapter with some sensitive content..just be prepared..

Tags: @autisticpickle @prettycutebunny @dead-bxxxtch-walking @moonshineinasippycup @mama-miya @froegis

For a while, things had been livable with your foster parents. While you still had to care for yourselves, Mr.Harris mainly left you alone. Even if you did something that pissed him off, he was patient with you.

That was until today when he seemed in a remarkably shitty mood. He had already snapped at you and Frank twice, and you knew you would have to deal with him sooner or later. The best thing you could do was stay out of his way.

But then, dinner time came and that’s when things got even worse. He forced you two to make him dinner, and Frank was getting angry. So, nott only did you have to keep your foster father happy, but you had to make sure Frank didn’t snap either.

It was exhausting, dealing with both of them, but you managed. “I’ll be right back. I have to go get something from my room. Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone, okay?”

“I’ll try.” He grinned at you, and you smirked, giving his hand a small squeeze, before turning away and walking off.

The moment you were gone, Mr.Harris shoved a forkful of food into his mouth, before spitting it all out. “Jesus Christ, this tastes like shit.”

Frank winced at the insult towards your food. It wasn’t your fault it tasted so bad. You had such little time to work, and most of the food in the fridge was bad, so you had to improvise. This was probably much better than the shitty TV dinners Mr.Harris ate almost all the time.

He managed to keep himself calm, telling himself that the older man was just trying to provoke him. Because he was. He always was.

You tried to see the good in him. You thought because he wasn’t constantly hurting you, because he showed you the slightest bit of kindness, he had changed.

But you’re naïve. Frank knows that. He knew how cruel and broken people could be, and he knew that Mr.Harris couldn’t be trusted. Especially with the way he looked at you. It was disgusting, and Frank has to protect you.

“That little bitch really isn’t useful for anything, is she? Don’t worry, I’ll put her in her place soon enough. Maybe even fuc-”

Before he could finish his sentence, Frank punched him across the face. “Don’t you ever talk about her like that again.”

–

Hearing a loud crash coming from downstairs, you ran over to see what the commotion was about. And what you saw made your blood run cold, and your heart drop into your stomach.

Mr.Harris was holding Frank by the throat, strangling him. The younger boy struggled against him, punching and kicking at him, trying to break free.

His face was turning red and then purple, and you couldn’t just stand there and watch him die. You had to do something. You always hated standing by and watching him get hurt, no was finally your chance.

This time, you’re going to be the one saving him.

“Let him go!” You shrieked, smacking the older man with a pan, hitting him a few times before he finally let go, and turned his attention to you. Frank fell to the floor coughing, wheezing, and barely conscious, but thankfully still alive.

Suddenly, Mr.Harris grabbed you by the arm, making you drop the pan. “You little bitch.” He seethed, wrapping his fingers around your wrist, gripping it tightly.

“Please, you’re hurting me- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to- I just wanted you to stop hurting him, please.” You begged, feeling his grip shift from uncomfortable to painful.

Your voice grew shaky as your pain increased, and you could feel the tears welling in your eyes. What happened next felt like an out-of-body experience.

The sound of that sickening snap echoed around in your ears, your scream, and the pain, the shocking pain that flew through your wrist as you realized it was broken. He let you go, stomping off and mumbling something about needing a drink, leaving you and Frank alone in the house.

–

Frank awoke to the sound of your soft sobs, holding your now limp wrist into your hand, staring down at it. You were trembling, and you had a trash can next to you which you had vomited into.

“(Y/n)?” He murmured, slipping out from his haze and crawling over to you. Instant dread and worry overtook your mind as he saw what happened to you. What he had done.

“He broke it.” You sobbed, unable to pull your gaze from your injured arm. Frank gently lifted it into his hand, making you let out a pained cry.

It looked bad, all swollen and bruised, the bone sticking out in an unnatural way. “Oh fuck, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. I’m going to get you to the hospital and it’s going to be okay, I promise.”

–

There you two sat, in the waiting room, waiting for a doctor to take you over. A few hours had passed since you arrived, and you were resting your head on his shoulder, while Frank gazed at his hands.

This is all his fault. He promised he would protect you, and he just laid there uselessly while Mr.Harris hurt you. He let you get hurt, and he felt horrible about it.

“At least we can spend some time together.” You said to him with a small smile, trying to stay enthusiastic, like you always did. But he could tell you weren’t feeling it, considering how quiet and sad your voice was.

When Frank didn’t respond, you looked up at him, seeing that he was still gazing at the distance. “Hey, what’s going on in your head?

“Nothing.” He mumbled. “I’m just..sorry…”

“It wasn’t your fault. I was just trying to protect you to..I didn’t care about the cost, and honestly, I don’t feel bad about it. So just stop blaming yourself. We called the police, and they’re going to deal with it. We don’t have to worry about him anymore.”

Before he could say anything, a nurse entered the room calling out your name. So, holding his hand, you walked over to the room with him.

–

“She has three breaks in her radial, but thankfully none in her ulna, so she doesn’t need surgery, but she’ll probably have to spend a few months in a cast for it to heal properly.” The doctor explained.

It was late at night, and honestly, you didn’t care about much. You didn’t care about the dull pain in your arm or your stomach, you just wanted to sleep.

“But, we noticed that you have a stomach ulcer. It’s nothing too serious, but you’re going to need treatment, so you’re going to have to stay for at least the next two days or so.”

The last thing you wanted right now was to stay at the hospital. You wanted to go home. You wanted to stay with Frank. “What? But how did this happen?”

“It can happen when you take too many pain medications, or if you experience extreme stress.” Reaching over with your good hand, you grabbed Frank’s arm. “Can he stay?”

“Sorry, but visitation hours are ending in twenty minutes. The only people that can stay are family. He can visit you tomorrow, though.” The doctor answered, noticing how upset you were. “I’ll give you two some alone time.”

The moment the doctor left, Frank wrapped his arms around you, holding you close to him. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, baby. I swear to god, when I see that bastard, I’ll kill him.”

“Don’t say that. Please, don’t do anything stupid Frank. Or you’ll never see me again.” You grabbed his face, seeing the hatred and anger in his eyes, while he saw the sadness and worry in yours.

“Okay. Okay. I’m sorry, I’m just so mad about what he did to you, and your stomach, and you’ve been through so much…” He muttered.

You grinned at him, kissing his cheek. “Don’t worry, I’m a tough cookie. I’ll make it.” He chuckled softly at that, and you looked down at his throat, seeing the purple marks on it.

“Are you sure you’re okay? And do you have somewhere you can stay for the night?” You asked anxiously. “Yeah, I’ll be okay. Don’t worry about me, alright? Just focus on yourself. I’ll visit you in the morning.”

“I love you.” You hugged him close to you. “Love you too.”

Giving you one last glance, he left your room, walking off into the night.

#dead by deadlight #dbd #dbd killer #dbd x reader #dbd legion #legion frank #frank morrison #killer x reader #legion dbd #frank morrison x reader #frank legion #killer x you #dbd fanfic

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