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idyllic-affections · 4 months

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a letter from aphelion. ♡

a letter to all the people who have made my year in one way or another. there is no particular order to this post, and some of you may find that i don't have much to say, but all of you who are on this post are here because i can recall times i've enjoyed speaking to you or seeing you in my notifs or just existing within the same space as you. i hope you all have only the best year possible next year—it seems like most of us need and deserve a good year, hm? though i regard myself as quite a gentle and sentimental soul, i struggle with putting it into words. it's ironic, considering i am a writer. i mention this because even if the things i say in this post are quite silly and lighthearted, just know that i earnestly mean what i say and each and every one of you has contributed to my year in a memorable way <3 may we all have a good 2024.

dear @lillonvia,

YOU!!!! YOU!!!!! HELLO. HI. MEETING YOU HAS BEEN SUCH AN HONOR AND SUCH A DELIGHTFUL PART OF MY YEAR!!! i love the little silly conversations we often have—i think it's probably a good thing that we share so many random fandoms. it's as if we lived somewhat similar lives growing up despite growing up in such vastly different environments <3 but anyway, i think the fandoms we share are really helpful in being able to have such fun conversations!! we have many things to talk about!!! despite the vast difference in timezones!!!! please go to sleep at normal hours!!!!!!! /lh

dear @starryshinyskies,

HI AVERY <3 i was literally always so delighted to see you in my inbox back when you were still ⭐️ anon, and i still feel that kind of joy now! you have so many good and fun thoughts to share with me about things i've written and i love that... i hope moral injury ch. 2 will give you that same kind of brainrot again when it does finally come out!!!! if it doesn't that's okay too HAHA but i always love hearing your thoughts on... literally anything ever!! i have some fics of yours that i've been meaning to reblog btw, so maybe watch out for multiple essays in your notifications in the coming weeks LMAO

dear @aroacenezha,

MAJI I AM SQUISHING YOU LOVINGLY IN MY HANDS or i can just look at you fondly if you don't want to be squished. i am okay with that too <3 i often think about how we met and i think it's both kind of funny and kind of nice. "baizhu would hate dottore" agreed so real so true that post was so correct in so many ways RAAHHH 🤝 the nice part of the way we met being my baizhu series. despite me having NOT updated it any time recently, has brought a lot of people into my inbox and sometimes into my life and i think it's very cool. i love when people feel seen. and furthermore please always send me your oc thoughts and your blorbo thoughts i love them so much 🙏🙏🙏

dear @soleillunne,

ALYYY MY LOVE MY BELOVED you are so precious and treasured.... i love what you do, i think your writing is beautiful and has such a poetic quality to it. and i love when you appear in my inbox and notifs!!!! though tumblr is very mean to you and always eats your asks.... you are important to me and so many other people and i hope you always know that. genuinely. you are such a kind and wonderful person and you are always loved.

dear @heiayen,

YOU. *GRABS YOU* *EVILLY* you. you are so. idk but YOU ARE. can't think of a good word. no words, only vibes. you are vibe-y. /lh you're another moot that has the most top tier responses to things, even non-fanfic posts. you just have Things To Say, and in the best way possible. your thoughts are so fun..... i interact with you rather often—more than some people realize, perhaps—and you are a dearly beloved presence in my life 🫶🫶

dear @zeldadou,

though we haven't talked too much recently, i still think of you often! i love seeing your art and the way it changes and develops... and i love hearimg your thoughts about things or when you send me fun things you think i would like <33 you are a very kind person in my eyes, whether you realize it or not.

dear @june-again,

i hope life treats you well, always. you don't deserve anything less. i think of you fondly! your kindness is and was very remarkable and treasured especially when i was first adjusting to tumblr and posting my fics and whatnot..... by the time we met, i was still very new, so i appreciated any kind interactions (i still do of course! it's just a bit different when you're new to a website like this haha)!!

dear @kaixserzz,

I FUCK WITH YOUR THOUGHTS DUDE YOU SEEM TO COME INTO MY INBOX AT THE MOST RANDOM AND UNEXPECTED OF TIMES AND DROP THE MOST HEARTBREAKING ANGST POSSIBLE??????? HELLO?????????? ARE YOU. DOING OKAY??!???!!!! YOU WAKE UP AND CHOOSE VIOLENCE. ESPECIALLY WITH KAVEH. WTF (me too tbh 😇) /lh please always send me any platonic thoughts you have i will entertain all of them fr 💥💥💥 you have such good thoughts in that brain of yours 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

dear @archonsbane,

i haven't spoken to you much, so forgive me if this seems or comes off as a sudden or jarring tag, but i do enjoy talking to you. fatui moot <3 you GET IT get it about the harbingers' dynamics. i hope we have more opportunities to speak sometime! (and if that sentiment isn't shared, that is totally fine. i would respect it either way 🫶)

dear @lesanyanyas,

we only became mutuals recently, but i hope you know that i always thought of you as one of the "blorbo from my notes" kinds of people haha!!! i always saw and recognized you whenever you were in my notifications or my inbox and you always have such delightful and fun things to say <33

dear @umgatochamadopercyval,

CLARA HIII you are such a remarkable person, you know? you've been nothing but kind and understanding, and you have such fun thoughts and ideas!! i love hearing about them sm. even if my responses are delayed, just know that you are always welcome to ramble in my dms about your ocs or your fic ideas and i will never find it to be annoying or anything. it isn't annoying. it never is.

sincerely, aphelion.

there are people who did not make this list, and to those people, i hope we can become closer in 2024! if you aren't on here, it's truly only because i've hardly spoken to you. so... perhaps that is something we can do next year! i think of all my mutuals very fondly. i don't think of any of you as "less than" just because we haven't spoken mwah mwah <3

#aphelion speaks 🌸

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freckliedan · 18 days

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just u mentioned it in one of ur recent ask replies, whats a fagdyke /genq and how is it different to . a dyke (i am also a dyke LMAO)

quite earnestly i have no way of answering this for everyone who IDs as a fagdyke but i can answer for myself! for me (& many others, to my knowledge) it's a gender thing. the very short version is that my gender is both fag and dyke, the way some people's gender is dyke.

i first started both ID'ing as a nonbinary lesbian whose gender was just dyke & using they/them pronouns in 2018 (the same year i made this blog). for me the main part of my identity at that time was the lesbianism? being othered from womanhood was a result of my sexuality.

because like. a lot of cishet womanhood is shaped by being attracted to men and performing gender in a way that's attractive to men. i embodied neither of those things, which automatically disqualified me from many people's definition of womanhood. so i was nonbinary not because i identified away from my assigned gender but because the consensus definition no longer included me.

i embraced dyke as gender, it's something i did very intentionally, but being nonbinary was still a secondary part of my identity. it wasn't until 2019 that i more fully interrogated my gender and started viewing transness as a more central part of my identity?

i started doing that interrogation when i started questioning whether lesbian was the best fit for me. my then-recently-nonbinary-partner was just beginning to explore gender more and i knew that if they someday realized they were a man & felt misgendered by me being a lesbian that lesbian would stop being the right fit for me.

which. that came fully from me? i worry about phrasing this in a way that'd somehow paint my husband in a negative light but it genuinely was just a point at which i started thinking directly about my gender rather than bypassing it by focusing on my sexuality. (and yes, they're my husband now, he's since figured out they're a nonbinary trans guy).

i stopped being nonbinary as an afterthought of lesbianism and started just being nonbinary which was! quite honestly a lot to process because i'd been ignoring it for a long time. but it's been half a decade and i've done my processing?

i realized that what's true for me is that my gender is both fluid and not singular. i label myself as queer and genderqueer when talking to cishet people, maybe as genderfluid/bigender/multigender if getting into the specifics. but that's not how i label myself to me or to my community? (well. queer is).

what i've realized is that like. my attraction is always queer. in a relationship with a woman or dyke aligned nonbinary person, my gender would be more dyke than anything else. in my relationship with my husband my gender is more fag, & the same would be true in a relationship with anyone whose gender is more aligned with man/fag.

(i say more in both of those examples because like. my gender still fluctuates for other reasons. i have days where i feel very little internal sense of gender. i have days where i experience both fag as a gender and dyke as a gender at the same time. the list goes on).

my gender is contextual in a lot of ways—the way i experience gender is different in the more rural red state used to live in vs the big city in a blue state i now call home. but the context of relationships is one of the biggest ones, because it's one of the biggest impacts on how other people percieve me.

like, to strangers and aquaintences i am my husband's husband or spouse, because it's most important to me to be understood as queer. but in much more personal circles i also sometimes call myself his wife, because that's sometimes a more accurate reflection of my gender and the people who i'm comfortable calling myself that around already are familiar with how i experience gender & with the fact that our relationship is queer.

i know that a lot of people likely view fag and dyke as two mutually exclusive identities, as an extension of the binary of man and woman. but even when i was just IDing as a nonbinary dyke i had more in common with nonbinary fags than with cis women. and the fact that i am a dyke has not gone away now that i've also realized i am a fag.

in full i'd describe myself as a fairy fagdyke femme. fag goes first because it's how i more often present myself to the world.

i know i'm not the only person with seemingly contradictory identities like this, but it's not something i talk the most about? a LOT of the queer community constantly regurgitates subtly bioessentialist & transphobic ideas that make it like.. uncomfortable (at best) to be present in both lesbian and gay men's spaces as a bigender/multigender person.

so i primarily connect with other trans people, especially genderfreaks like me.

ummm my last note here is. for many other fagdykes or dykefags their definition of the label and personal experience is completely different from mine! it can be the same thing as being a dyke. some dykes are transmasc but still have dyke as their main gender and identity. i'm barely scratching the surface on this.

#i'm a fag and a dyke at the same time! that's all.#jam replies #anon #gender studies #gender

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subskz · 9 months

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Wait… I just asked myself a question about BB and I love what my brain spiraled into so much.

Like what if you expanded on BB like Minho and Changbin both get partners.

What made think of this was Changbin’s (Reader’s) Cinnamoroll pencil.

Like picture this with me.

Changbin loses it (Minho decides to prank him after Bin ate his pudding again) and tries to find it. But his girl notices him freaking out and offers her Pompompurin pencil/pen.

Mentioning that she had noticed his cute pencil and figured he would like to use her cute pencil. At least until he finds his old one or replaces it. Then shenanigans ensue.

For Minho, I am not completely sure as baseline idea to bounce off of but something to deal with Changbin seems right. Like Bin accidentally got Chan a girl, so why not Minho too.

Maybe something to deal with Chococat? Maybe Minho’s girl is terrified of cats so she is starting off small. With a Chococat plush and somehow Binnie accidentally destroyed it. So he goes to Minho for help.

Then Minho and his girl bond over cats and Changbin being a lovable clutz.

I didn’t mean for this to become so flesh out. Like I somehow tied Sanrio to each guy. Well Cinnamoroll is in Chan’s story through Changbin but still.

Like Cinnamoroll for Chan, Pompompurin for Binnie, and Chococat for Minho.

Wait, I didn’t mean for it to get this long 😭 I just really excited and my brain took that and ran with it. Please don’t feel pressured to actually do this. I just thought they were cute ideas and you might like to see them.

THIS IS SO CUTE 😭😭😭 i’m not sure if it’s a blessing or a curse that u didn’t send this before the final part of bb was completed hehe bc i wouldve been so tempted to try n squeeze ur ideas in somehow…just the other day catboy anon and i were joking abt how binnie deserves his own soulmate for being caught up in the middle of everyone else’s nonsense in this series LMAO

the idea of all 3 of the boys having their own respective lil sanrio characters is adorable…binnie’s being pompompurin our pudding puppy when his conflict stems from stolen pudding…a stroke of genius methinks 🙏 these boys will find love one sanrio pencil at a time!

lino’s potential partner having a fear of cats is so clever too what better way to warm up to kitties than to spend time w our catboy himself~ i love the idea of him earnestly explaining cat behavior n body language to help her understand them better…maybe eventually introducing her to his cats too 😸

no worries at all! they’re very sweet ideas and i’m really touched u took the time to think of them n share them w me <3 maybe the bbcu (butterfly bandage cinematic universe) will be expanded in the future HAHA

#the gifs ❤️‍🩹 my beloved boys #ask #ryusha-rose

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ankhisms · 1 year

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oh hold on im going to ramble about rehersal last night bc i was on post limit and also too tired to talk about anything when i got home lmao

anyway this is a good thing not a bad thing that happened so dont worry im doing alright im just still thinking about it bc i mean. i guess its kind of sad that it feels jarring to me to be treated with kindness especially by someone in an authority position like a director but i am very thankful. our director sends us emails with notes on the rehersal and things for us to remember and in the email yesterday i didnt see it till i got to rehersal bc she sent it around the time i started to drive since my drive to town and back is very long. in the email she was like rey youre doing a great job thank you for knowing your lines theres one other thing id like to talk to you about sometime. and of course this makes my brain have alarms go off because yknow. abuse and trauma and just general brain bullshit where immediately if im told "theres one other thing we have to talk about later" by an authoritity figure or anyone really my brain tries to jump to the worst case scenario yknow like oh god shes gonna tell me to quit the play and that i suck and that i should just give up on acting and that im not good enough. but i tried to shake it off and just focused on acting in the rehersal. and at the very end of rehersal i went up to her and was like hey what was the one other note you had for me that you wanted to give me? and she ended up genuinely like really earnestly praising me and telling me that im amazing and doing a really great job and that she really appreciates how on top of things i am with knowing my lines and blocking and entrances and that she hardly has to give me any directions as a director because i just have a good instinct for what to be doing onstage and what things to find in the text to work with and she told me that i remind her a lot of a professional working actor that shes friends with in chicago 😭😭 and the note she wanted to give me was that i have a tendency to sometimes subconciously sneak looks at the audience and then dart my eyes back to the scene which is something her professional actor friend does too and she was like both you and him are so good but you worry about if people are going to like you and what youre doing, they like you! youre doing great! dont worry! and im surprised that i didnt just start cryimg. i had also made a kind of offhand comment about not being confident in myself and she told me that she was really surprised by that because im very good and i should be confident in myself and then gave me a hug and it was just like

like oh??? oh... maybe i am too hard on myself and maybe im not such a huge fuck up at everything.. anyway shes a very nice person and a great director im really glad shes our director for this production and that was like a really genuinely helpful moment for me

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alicesought · 1 year

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𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑.

𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞. Rose 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬. she/they

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. Tumblr IM, though I do have a discord! But adding a lot of discord contacts can stress me out after a while. 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞(𝐬). Right now, just Jervis! ( might remake my multimuse if I get the time? ) 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞/𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 (𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐬/𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬?). I've RPed since 2018 I think! 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝. tumblr, discord. 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞. Even though to some extent I loathed the experience and would rather be shot in the foot than do it again... I was a mod in sort of experimental attempt at a very dramatic and high stakes rp group that was desperately lacking in structure and organization, but.... despite all that.... I stand by it that there were these miraculous moments of just amazing improvised drama. And despite the horrible stress helping moderate it was, I do not regret getting to see the more fun moments of it. It has it's extreme highs as much as its cavernous lows. 𝐫𝐩 𝐩𝐞𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐬 / 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐬. This is more a pet peeve than an all out dealbreaker, but I admit I really really really dislike dealing with power scaling. Perhaps it's trauma from being a mod for a group without regulated power levels lmao, but I will do everything in my power to avoid having to argue whether your character is weaker or stronger than mine or if you think they could teleport behind my muse and kill them. I just don't have any patience for the stress of trying to in-character outfight someone because I am not a super genius and I cannot act as one through improv. I want to know what would make the better story, underdogs can win in the right circumstance, ( I know this especially, writing mostly villains ) and I do not ever care to kill yours or my own character unless that character is given quite a cathartic and well earned send off. So please plot with me to come up with a plot reason why a given outcome happens ahead of time if you want to write your muse incautiously or aggressively towards mine. I do Not like to write unplotted fights Ever. Especially because Jervis is not an ordinary fighter. He is a mind control antagonist. His base means of defense necessitates you telling me whether you're willing to let your muse be affected by his superpower or at least have an interesting reaction to the threat of it. And your answer will dictate whether I myself have interest in writing the interaction, and sometimes I might not, and that's ok. 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭. I guess it's angst..? Maybe? But I feel I don't want to convey that I like to write sadness? To be very specific, my favorite thing in the world to write is... intensity, I guess. I want to write Jervis losing his entire mind is what I'm saying lol. But second is fluff, I do love a good comfort thread hehe. 𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬. I love random memes, making up a scenario from the tiniest prompt, that's fun! But I do necessitate plotting for a lot of things, especially anything conflict based, simply because of Jervis' powers if nothing else. 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬. I cannot physically restrian myself from writing longer replies apparently. I have earnestly tried. 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞. Afternoons and late at night! 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞(𝐬). According to the discord i'm a jervis kinnie so my damnation is inescapable-- I... am a real life Alice in Wonderland fanatic. There are times my behavior overlaps with Jervis, yes. :')

tagged by: @librarywent thank you !

#{{ I took forever to actually do this haha }}#🐇 ◆◇◆ || ᵢf yₒᵤ dₒₙ'ₜ ₜₕᵢₙₖ₋ yₒᵤ ₛₕₒᵤₗdₙ'ₜ ₜₐₗₖ! || { meme. }#🐇 ◆◇◆ || ₙₒ ᵣₒₒₘ₋ ₙₒ ᵣₒₒₘ! || { o.o.c. }

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floraflow · 16 years

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The Best Laid Plans...

I’m feeling really conflicted about everything right now. On one hand, Ana and I’s plan worked (!), but on the other hand, the night did not go as expected...

I’ll start from the beginning.

I could barely sleep Thursday night, I was so excited for Friday’s festivities. I was jittering all day and couldn’t stop myself from smiling, kids at school probably thought I looked like a clown. In guitar, I tried to play it cool lol. James and I didn’t sit next to each other and I avoided looking at him all class. I was afraid if I did, I would burst. But he managed to snag me again after class (my heart did skip a beat, they way it always does around him) and he asked me if I was sure he should pick me up at the old barn. He said it didn’t seem safe. I told him it was fine (but I was internally screaming at how cute his concerned face looked). He was like “idk...” so, regrettably, I was forced to tell him about the barrenness of my social life, i.e. how I was planning on sneaking out because my mom would never let me go to a party, much less with a BOY. He cautiously agreed, which was pretty sweet. I was worried he would think I was a loser, but he really just seemed genuinely worried about me.

Work felt excruciating. I bolted straight to Ana’s as soon as my shift ended. I had to sacrifice some textbooks to make room in my backpack for some clothing options for the party. Ana thought I should wear black, cuz black is a mysterious and alluring color, but I reminded her that this was a PREPPY party and she was like “ok so what do preps wear?” and I realized I didn’t really even know since everyone wears uniforms at school. Ana rolled her eyes and was like, “are you really gonna dress up all disney channel to make some lame rich kids like you?” and I was like “touche” lol.

Ana INSISTED on the black so I wore one of my lacy black camis and Ana leant me her black skinny jeans. I also put on a slew of rosaries (including my favorite one, which had black beads), Madonna-style. Ana said I kinda look like Aly and AJ from the “Potential Breakup Song” music video, which I guess qualifies as disney channel sorta xD

Ana and I don’t really wear makeup (besides Baby Lips lip balm) so she snuck some from her mom to put on me. Just some shimmery gold eyeshadow, mascara, and lipgloss. The lip gloss was called Juicy Tubes and it smelled DELICIOUS. Ana said that lip gloss makes guys unconsciously look at your mouth because the shininess draws more attention to them. I was like “how would you even know that???” and she was like “I READ IT IN SEVENTEEN, SUE ME” hahahahaha

(God sorry am I boring you? Wait. Who am I even apologizing too?? LMAO xD)

Anyway, at 7:45-ish, I stole out Ana’s bedroom window into the night! I felt that same rush I felt when Ana and I went on our nighttime bog excursion, it was exhilarating.

I had my scuffed-up, old tennies on for the walk to the Tempers’ barn (it’s technically closer to my house than to Ana’s, the Tempers are basically my next-door neighbors--I’ll get into that in a bit). I spotted two red tail lights radiating in the dark, casting an eerie red glow into the woods by the road. I clicked off the lil’ flashlight I brought and hurried to the car--a midnight black pick-up truck--with excitement, until I realized that I wanted to act cool so I slowed down a lil’ bit (as though he could even see me at this hour lol).

I peered into the passenger window, suddenly struck with the fact that I didn’t even know if this was actually James or not. But the mystery man flicked on the inside light, which promptly illuminated James’ angel face. (´∀｀)♡ He smiled earnestly then fumbled to unlock the car door, which was VERY endearing. I climbed inside and he said, “Hey,” to which I responded, “Hey” in kind.

I’m afraid to report that those were about the only words we spoke to one another during that car ride. I was too occupied trying not to nervously glance at James constantly (and failing miserably). I think I could tell he was nervous too !! His eyes seemed glued in front of him, his body rigid, except for his Adam’s apple, which was bobbing noticeably.

When I wasn’t doing my nervous glancing, I too was staring straight ahead, suddenly very aware of the sound of my winter coat squishing against my seat. Speaking of winter coat, James wasn’t wearing one. Instead, he wore a slightly oversized black leather jacket. Obviously it was genuine leather and in good condition, like he takes care of it. Again, I nobly attempted not to swoon. ₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡

Morrissey drifted from the stereo, bathing our awkward silence in his droopy, lilting timbre. Thank GOD for music.

You could tell when we passed the threshold into Nettlebrook proper, where the dirt roads turn to cobblestoned streets, alit by antique gaslights. We wound our way up the hill overlooking main street (and the bog) and the further up we went, the more extravagant the houses became. I mean, these were mansions! Like OLD MONEY, frickin’ VICTORIAN mansions, the largest of which loomed over us, at the very top of the hill. It was more of an estate, enclosed by a tall gate--I assume this is where the Mayor lives. His home was flanked by two other majestic mansions, but I wasn’t sure to whom they belonged.

James must have noticed my eyes bugging out of my skull, because he laughed softly and asked if I’d ever been on the hill before. I shook my head no, but then remembered that I actually had, when I was really young. I told him, “my mom took me for a walk around town, but when we started going up the hill, a police officer told us to go back, because it was private property.”

“That’s really stupid,” James said, looking genuinely disappointed. “Well, we’re here.”

Christa’s house was also a mansion, though it looked newer than the stately Victorian ones. Before we left the car, I remembered to change my shoes. I took off my old tennies and slipped into the black ballet flats I had brought with me. James opened the car door for me and even helped me out by holding my hand (such a gentleman!!) and I again felt the need to burst.

Now... at the party is where things go wonky.

To be continued.......

#diary

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hideyseek · 5 months

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6. 10, 11? For ur ao3 wrapped? Mehabs?

(im on mobile if something is weird. No it isnt)

bro ,,,,, im so sorry to report something was weird, i only saw this guy come in today he was not in my inbox before. apology for delay. but hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii yes thank you for the ask!!!!! of course i will answer i love to fucking TALK hehe :3

ao3 wrapped asks

6. Favorite title you used?

mmmm hehe. i'm gonna answer this based purely on title vibes as opposed to like "how well the title fits the fic" bc i wrote a bunch of shorter (to me) fics without a lot of internal thematic happenings that a title could reflect and so i don't really think of anything i published that a title is doing very much work.

i think my favorite title of anything published this year is i wish you the wind just because ah ... what a phrase! no idea what this means but it sounds so damn romantic to me! really has a flavor of like ... bittersweet farewell!

10. What work was the quickest to write?

mmm, haha. well, two answers to this i suppose. on one hand, there was keep me here which unfortunately i wrote in about one day from nothing (and therefore had approximately 12 minutes to revise) because i was determined to post SOMETHING for that day of kaze week 2023. but the first fic that came to mind (and perhaps the most accurate answer, time-wise) was my drabble from week 2 of inception wicked which came together in about three hours total drafting, but there was a span of several days (and truthfully several days that felt like several weeks lol) between me initially having the idea and sitting down to draft. but like, to be fair, it is about 400 words so revising goes exponentially quicker. truly this shocked even me, though i guess really what this means is i already was primed with a bunch of subconscious thoughts about the dynamic in this fic lol. (you can read it here on the gdoc with the other fics from that week! bc i haven't gotten around to posting on ao3 yet lol. content warnings for: semi-explicit sexual content, fantasizing about a married couple, voyeurism)

11. What work took you the longest to write?

hmm ... i don't know if there's a winner for anything i published, tbh. most of the rest of the kaze week fics from january kind of came together in a span of 3-5 days depending on the fic, and most of the other drabbles for both events came together in about the alotted week. so instead i'm going to gleefully misinterpret this question so i can talk about my beloved unpublished nemesis project, narrative!fic :3

i hate that guy! (<- said extremely lovingly) i probably earnestly worked on this fic for ... 4 or 5 months of this year? had a nice breakthrough for some story logic in august / september ish, outlined from that through october, and wrote pretty diligently for most of november. (i did tell my roommate fully two years ago, "hey you need to watch kazetsuyo so i can make you betaread this fic i'm writing at the end of the year, i'll watch star trek with you in exchange". that was literally 2021 lmao. they have not yet seen a draft bc there has not been a draft worth having anybody else look at yet.)

i think the thing that has made the process of drafting narrative!fic so long is really just that, for the last two-ish years, narrative!fic wasn't actually a story to me, so much as it was a project into which i dumped all my post-college facing-the-future feelings and loosely tied up with a string called "i'm sure i can make haiji go through this as well". but then, due to various life events in april of this year, suddenly i came back to the draft and it was like: oh. ohhh, okay. i can see how this can be a story, actually. this is about haiji, as a character, as opposed to haiji, as a semi-direct proxy for myself. and then over the next few months i cut out a ton of stuff and reworked his main arc and now it's like ... a story, instead of just a bunch of feelings and events. which, truly, is only my personal marker for what i was looking for from the project. like, i personally want a separation of my own experiences from what is in my fic, i want to be thinking about developments in the fic as narrative choices the story requires rather than as alternatives to how my own life could have gone. (which ultimately may well be the same thing but its the headspace im in, for me).

and i think the other part is just -- i didn't know how to write! i mean, obviously i know how to string words into a sentence lol. but a LOT of i guess the first two years of drafting and then setting all the drafted stuff aside to start again from scratch like four times over, was me learning to like, figure out my own longfic writing process. (big sobbing emoji, lmao. i remember in my youth reading about maggie stiefvater having 200k of unused draft material for one of the trc books and i was like, how??? and now i am like: yeah. unfortunately i get it. not that my tossed-out drafter material is of that specific magnitude. but there is a lot of it, goddamn.) and now that i've got at least an initial / foundational sense of it, the hardest part is only actually sitting down and writing. (i say as if this is not also, extremely challenging for me lol). so uh, i guess i'll say here "maybe this time next year i'll really have a full draft of narrative!fic", and. we'll see how that goes :3

#hidey speaks #hidey talks fic #ask game #lmao sorry this took me like one hour to write because in the middle i reread i wish you the wind and took seven million notes on revising #it into something longer and slightly more complex

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nite-rites · 1 year

Text

before i got mostly sober (as in quit my 10 year nightly weed habit that was destroying my emotional, mental, and physical health; i will still have one or two fancy cocktails when out w friends or family on a special occasion but that is the sum total of my consumption bc alcohol is gross and i’ve never had desire for it) i did not realize how much fucking Discourse there is abt sobriety?? anyways this is a rant

so many people are earnestly trying to say that weed is sober and it just. isn’t. many people have a healthy relationship w it! but it can also be habit forming / addictive in a way that interferes w health and well being, sometimes seriously. it was for me. and using it to replace one habit w another is not…… necessarily the route to stability that it may seem to be. that’s left to the judgement of the individual ofc

but there is a lot of fairly successful Weed Culture rhetoric abt how weed is good for you and non addictive or whatever, and that is not correct or at least not the whole story. i can attest to that and so can many people of my experience. and many of the doctors and shrinks who treat us. “but what abt coffee / cigarettes / psych meds? if you take any of those you’re not sober either. weed is plant medicine and you’re a victim of The Sobriety Industry.” and? lmao? the defensiveness in and of itself feels telling. we can all pick this shit apart forever but who’s got the time

as such i propose the simple definition: can you get a DUI if you’re behind the wheel w the substance in question in your bloodstream? as in, is it fucking dangerous for you to drive? if yes, you are under (an) influence. i wouldn’t drive w the aforementioned very occasional cocktails in my blood. i wouldn’t even drive on the low dose of seroquel i take to sleep, bc it snows me, which is the point. it doesn’t cloud my judgement or decision making but i would not consider myself sober while on it. i don’t consider my need for seroquel an addiction, however - i just don’t sleep normally, and it treats that symptom. actually, i use it bc i don’t wanna use stuff like ambien, which carries a risk of real addiction

weed may not be a problem for you the way other substances are - and, again, many many people have perfectly normal relationships w all kinds of substances. you may be sober from oxy, or coke, or whatever your proverbial drug of choice was, and that’s fucking rad. i’m proud of you. i’m not at all shaming people who smoke weed for any reason or in any amount. but if you’re stoned all the time, or have a dependence on weed - and whenever you’re high, obviously - you’re not Sober in an overarching lifestyle sense. idk why this is a question

lastly. a lot of the rhetoric around this type of thing involves phrases like “so you think people who smoke weed are no better than fucking junkies???” etc and. my brother in christ. how are you gonna be addictphobic (idk if that’s even the official word but i’m running w it) when You Yourself Are An Addict

#i am not tagging this w anything relevant #any attempts to argue w this will be summarily ignored #these are my thoughts and nothing more

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astromechs · 2 years

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🛒⛔💖🤩

what are some common things you incorporate in your fics? themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

i tend to be very fond of the introspective character study, and i know this about myself. what interests me the most about writing is getting inside a character's head, and especially when i'm first figuring a character out, i really love that vibey kind of introspective thing that doesn't necessarily have a plot. i like healing and growth, and — i'm not sure anyone reading my stuff would be surprised to find that i have my education and training in the field of psychology, where all that stuff is concerned.

i also feel like i've written about ghost imagery a lot across fandoms (peacemaker becomes convenient for this, for the... literal manifestation of a ghost), but i tend to like that as, like — accepting that we carry the ghosts of our pasts with us, and we have to find a way to live with that, which is a journey i like to take characters on. grief/trauma/healing, becoming aware of self-sabotage, those are the types of things i'm interested in.

there's a lot of character-specific imagery, too — i'm sure there are things you can track depending on the pov character — but it really just depends!

do you have a fic you started, but scrapped?

pours one out for the cosmic marvel star wars au, which i had such a vision for, but then i had a fatigue episode and i just never came back to it 😔 i don't consider it completely scrapped, or really any of my old ideas that i haven't touched in a while, so i reserve the right to come back one day! but i do still think back on that one really fondly.

i've got another longer idea in the works right now that i will probably spend more of my time on in the near future, but. BUT.

what made you start writing?

honestly, i can't even remember; i've been creating stories since i was a little kid. the first story i ever wrote was in kindergarten about a flying squirrel who went through history — and i won an award for it and read it at the mall lol i've been doing both original stuff and fan fic in some capacity since high school, and just... if there's a story to be told, i want to be there to do it.

as far as, like, fan fic stuff is concerned, i definitely got started with writing as i know it now via fandoms of big 2 comics and their adaptations, because by nature of the beast, there's always something left unresolved — so bigtime story fodder for me.

who is your favorite character to write?

i can't narrow this down to just one, so i'm going to name a few.

peter parker, who is probably my og blorbo, and i still have a lot of fun weaving his humor in with how he deals with life.

gamora, the blorbo who got me back into comics like 5-6 years ago, whom i love writing because there's her hard edges and the softness underneath them if you know where to look.

rich rider, because i see a lot of myself in him, and it's satisfying to take on his own journey of healing.

chris smith, for his huge heart under layers of toxic bullshit thrown at him and his own attempts to push people away. also i can make him say incredibly stupid shit and it's 100% in-character, lmao

adrian chase, because his brain is fucking fascinating, and he's this contradiction of being earnestly sweet and also incredibly aware of his environment and absolutely lethal. also same as above with chris re: making him say stupid shit and it's in-character.

matt murdock, who is another character i see some of myself in, both for better and for worse, and writing from his pov presents both challenge and opportunity (lack of ability to use visuals, but SO much sensory imagery)

fan fic writer emoji ask!

#asks #sgtjamesrogers

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blackjacktheboss · 3 years

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6. “Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole.”

thank you!!

[this one got away from me /idk what this is and also I’m not proof reading it so don’t even tell me if I fucked something up lmao]

“Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole.” Annabeth says as she pushes past a speechless Percy.

She makes her way through the throngs of people at the unveiling of the museum’s latest, keeping her bottom lip between her teeth as she tries to hold back her tears. Looking up, she notices a sign that reads “atrium →” and makes a hard right, heading down a largely empty hallway until she finds herself in front of a pair of large glass doors.

Warm summer air fills the jungle-like room and Annabeth, who sits on a bench, looks up at the clear night sky and takes a deep, calming breath.

“Annabeth,” Percy says, breathless.

Annabeth lowers her gaze and sees him bent over with his hands on his knees.

“Fuck, you’re fast,” he adds as he huffs and puffs. He takes a deep breath and stands upright. “Whew, okay. Can we please talk?”

Annabeth looks down at her shoes, her stupid new shoes that Piper convinced her to buy for the special occasion of telling her best friend how she really feels about him, and she wants to throw up. “There’s nothing for us to talk about. Just go find Rachel and have a nice night.”

Percy furrows his brow as he looks around, as if following an invisible trail of clues. “So this is about Rachel?”

Annabeth shakes her head. “Drop it, Percy. Really.”

“I don’t wanna drop it,” he says, taking a step towards her. “Annabeth, I’m asking you to please talk to me.”

“I can’t,” she says, her eyes still downcast.

“Why?”

“Because it hurts too much!” she blurts out. “Okay? Talking to you like this hurts too much, especially when you have someone waiting for you to go back to them. So do me a favor, and just…. Just go to her already.”

Percy sighs and sits next to Annabeth on the marble bench. “I didn’t come here with Rachel,” he says calmly. “I swear.”

“I saw her walk in on your arm, Percy,” she says, looking off to the side.

“You know how Rachel is,” he says, sounding exasperated. “I saw her on my way in and she hooked her arm through mine. She’s a... bulldozer.”

“A bulldozer who you like,” Annabeth says, her voice cracking at the end, like the word physically hurts to say. Which it does.

“Don’t do that,” Percy says as he hangs his head.

“Do what?”

“Tell me about myself like you know everything.”

“I know you like the back of my hand, Percy, even when I wish I didn’t.”

Percy springs to his feet. “Yeah? If you know me so well, then look at me and tell me what you see.”

Annabeth finally looks at him again, and the anger she is trying to hold onto melts away as soon as she sees the sadness that shines in his green eyes. She swallows hard, but finds no words.

Percy grabs at his tie as it’s his turn to be angry. “You think I practiced how to tie this stupid fucking thing for an hour for Rachel?”

“What?”

“You really think I would break out my only suit for a night with Rachel?” he asks, opening up his jacket. “I’ve worn this thing twice for god’s sake!”

“Graduation and your job interview,” Annabeth says quietly.

“Exactly! And now for tonight. A night at your favorite museum, to preview an exhibit you have not stopped talking about since they announced it last year. I mean, look at my shoes!”

Annabeth glances down and notices for the first time that Percy dons a shiny pair of black wingtips. “Your big boy shoes,” she says simply.

Percy can’t help but laugh. A short, tired laugh that still somehow lights up his entire face. “My big boy shoes,” he repeats, his shoulders relaxing as his eyes soften. “For my big night out with the most important person in my life.”

Annabeth wipes away at the tears that have begun racing down her cheeks. “Percy--”

He drops to one knee in front of her, and takes her hands in his. “I want to spend tonight with you, Annabeth. Just you.”

Annabeth watches him carefully, noticing the worry lines that crease his forehead and the shine of the tears brimming his eyes. How could she ever think he would suddenly become anyone less than who he has proven himself to be. Someone who is hers.

“I feel really stupid,” she whispers.

“I’ll make you a deal,” he whispers back.

“What’s that?” she asks with a smile.

“I’ll ignore this stupid moment, if you agree to ignore how stupid my shoes are,” he says earnestly.

Annabeth brings her forehead down to rest on the pile of her and Percy’s hands, and she bounces with the kind of laugh that only Percy can evoke from her. “I think your shoes look sharp,” she says as she sits back up. “You look very handsome.”

“And you look beautiful, like always.”

Annabeth sighs, still coming down from the high of intense emotions. “What now?”

Percy stands, keeping his hands on Annabeth’s, and gently pulls her up with him. He readjusts his suit, even fixes his tie, and turns towards the door to offer Annabeth his arm. “I believe we still have an exhibit to see.”

She loops her arm through Percy’s, and hugs it tight. “You know once you get me in there, I really won’t be able to shut up.”

Percy smirks as they take their first steps towards the door. “Oh, I love it when you talk nerdy to me.”

#quarantine content #writing prompt #pjo au #percabeth #idk!!

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musingsofsaturn · 4 years

Text

Braids

Fandom: Frozen, Frozen II

Ship: Anna/Kristoff

Words: 1,500+

Rating: K

Summary: Three times Kristoff braided Anna’s hair.

Author’s Note: So I’ve been cracking on with my contributions for Kristanna Week (because nothing screams ‘anxiety’ like preparing for a voluntary ship week two months in advance lmao) and found myself rather addicted to writing these two. Please enjoy this oneshot idea that popped into my head as I was plaiting my hair. I hope you like hair-playing fluff, and lots of it.

O N E

“So you take the strand on your left-”

“-on the left,” he whispered softly, probably not even realising he said it.

“And you take that and cross it over the one in the middle, so then that one is the one in the middle.”

“So that one is the one in the middle...” Anna felt Kristoff gently tug the strand into position. He let out a breath that he’d been holding, and she afforded him a supportive smile in the mirror.

“Great. And now, you take the strand that’s on your right-”

“-on the right.” She giggled when he repeated her words again, but she stifled it as a fake cough into her hand, so as not to discourage his efforts.

“And you put that one over the one in the middle, so now that’s the one in the middle.” Again, she felt him gently follow her instructions. “And then you just keep going! So start from the left again-”

“-the left again...”

Anna had always loved the feeling of having someone else style her hair, but this time it was even better. Kristoff had shown a great interest in her braids, and his face had lit up adorably when she offered to teach him how to do it. If she’d realised how pleasant it would be when his fingertips ghosted her scalp, and he gently brushed through the length of her hair, and carefully sculpted the strands into a single plait down her back, she would have offered to teach him sooner.

His touch was gentle, desperate not to cause her any pain. And his movements were so slow, taking so much focus from him to get it right. Anna realised just how much he was concentrating on his new skill when she noticed in the mirror that his tongue was poking out of the corner of his mouth. The sight made her feel as though her heart was melting.

“I’m at the end - now what?” He sounded mildly panicked, which made Anna chuckle.

“Keep hold of it, hang on,” she instructed, leaning forward to grab a piece of ribbon which she handed to him over her shoulder. “Okay, you should be really good at this part. Just tie this around all the hair, underneath where you’ve braided.”

Kristoff fell completely silent, and Anna could tell from his stillness that he was holding his breath. “Done.” He stepped back, reaching for a hand mirror to show her the back of her head.

The braid was far from perfect - it was uneven, very loosely fastened, and oddly lumpy in places. But it was unmistakabley a braid.

“Kristoff!” Anna cried, feeling herself brimming with pride. “You did great! Keep practising and you’ll be my royal hairstylist in no time!”

They both shared a laugh at the notion as Anna got to her feet, smoothing her skirts. She placed a hand on his chest, leaning upwards to kiss him quickly.

At breakfast, Elsa did raise an eyebrow when she saw her sister’s hairstyle, but she quickly realised why it was so haphazard and couldn’t stop a smile from spreading across her face.

T W O

“These instructions are terrible,” Kristoff frowned, gazing down at the book on Anna’s dressing table for the hundredth time that evening. “They could have at least included pictures for the different steps.”

“I’m sure you’ll be able to work it out.”

“I’m serious, all I have to go off is this picture that shows the finished product!”

Anna giggled lightly at his frustration. He always took hairstyling so seriously. Anna understood that this one was for a ball, but it was only a practice attempt, so she thought he really could relax about it a little bit. “You can just make something up if you can’t work it out.”

“I might just have to take you up on that, feistypants.”

As always, Kristoff fell silent as he started to braid. He was much more efficient at it than he used to be, and had even learnt styles from Anna and Elsa to add to his braiding and hairstyling repertoire. Anna in particular was more than happy to oblige his interest. She loved this time they spent together, with Kristoff’s skilled fingers twisting and braiding her hair into increasingly elaborate updos. It was strangely intimate, and she found herself looking forward to when Kristoff would shyly request to style it for her.

“You worked it out, huh?” She relaxed into his touch, delighting at the sensation of his fingers grazing across her neck and scalp as he gathered more hair.

He kept up his work, leaning over her shoulder every so often to check the instructions, occassionally huffing out frustrated whispers about how unclear they were. As ever, he was incredibly gentle, and a smile sprang to Anna’s lips when she looked at him in the mirror and saw that his tongue was poking out again.

“Okay,” he said finally, placing a comb decorated with crystals into the hair at the back of her head. “I think I got it.” As always, he held up the hand mirror for her to see.

Anna was actually impressed. The style had more little braids than she could count, twisted around into a low bun at the nape of her neck. It was neat, and felt secure, like it could survive all night at a ball. “Kristoff,” she grinned, “It’s amazing!”

He laughed slightly, admiring his own handiwork. “Yeah, it’s not bad for a scruffy ice harvester is it, feistypants?”

She wafted a hand in the air, as if batting away his insult to himself. “Looks like the work of a royal hairstylist to me!”

T H R E E

As was ever the case, it felt like Kristoff was the only person in the room who understood what Anna needed. Everyone had been fussing over her and the palace all day. The palace was a flurry of activity, which normally would excite Anna, but today only added to her nerves. Finally, recognising how it was all impacting her, Kristoff had discreetly asked the servants to leave his fiancée’s room, and instructed the guards at the door that no one was permitted to enter for a while.

“What if I trip up?” Anna looked at him, eyes wide, as he escorted her to the chair at her dressing table.

“That’s why you’re in flats, not heels,” Kristoff reminded her gently.

At Kristoff’s insistence, she sat down. “What if I forget the words?”

“You’ve been practising for weeks, Anna. There’s not a person - or a creature - in this castle who hasn’t memorised them by now.”

“What if I drop the sceptre?”

“You won’t do that,” he told her firmly.

She turned in her chair, placing her hands on his shoulders to stare fearfully into his eyes. “But what if I do?”

“Then I will stand up and sing some opera to distract everyone while you pick it up,” he told her earnestly. “Feistypants, listen to me. You are so prepared for this. You have rehearsed this ceremony a thousand times, and everyone is rooting for you to do well. Just make sure you grip that sceptre well before you pick it up, and everything will be fine.”

They shared a quiet smile, and Kristoff directed her to turn back around in her chair. She sighed as he gathered her hair in his hands. It felt so familiar and comforting to have her fiancé’s fingers carefully twisting and braiding her hair, as he had done a thousand times before. He worked quickly, and in no time at all he was pressing a kiss to the top of her head, before reaching for her hand mirror as she gazed into the looking glass in front of her.

“I tried to do the style that your mom has, in her portrait, I-” Kristoff noticed her eyes brimming with tears. “Oh no, Anna, oh please don’t cry. I’ll take it out, I’ll start over, I’m sorry.”

Her voice was a whisper as she gave him a watery smile in the mirror. “Kristoff, it’s perfect.”

He took her hands in his own, tugging her to her feet. Her arms went to his waist as his fingers grazed under her eyes to wipe away her tears before they could fall too far.

“Thank you,” was all she said, leaning upwards to kiss him quickly in a way that reminded him of the first time he’d ever plaited her hair, all those years ago. So much had changed. But one thing hadn’t.

“I love you, feistypants.”

Anna giggled, feeling her nerves subsiding slightly. “I love you too.”

Kristoff pulled himself upright, and put on the ridiculous accents of the diplomats and dignitaries that were no doubt flocking to their seats as they spoke. “May I escort you to your coronation, my Queen?”

Anna’s laugh was full and warmed his heart as she took the arm he had offered to her. “I’m not your queen for another hour,” she stated, rolling her eyes affectionately. “But nonetheless, I accept, sir.”

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summonerscenarios · 3 years

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If it's not any trouble could you do hcs on characters reaction to reader having very low body positivity. You can choose the characters. Have a great day, Juno! 💙

Got something short and sweet to end off the night with. i do hope that I did an okay job with these ones hun~! And I hope the characters are okay too I suck at trying to pick them for myself lmao

---------

Shinya

Shinya’s a very empathetic soul, and that has worked both for and against him many times throughout his life. He knows many who have struggled with feeling comfortable in their bodies, trying to find a balance between finding parts of themselves to love and appreciate, and he himself has had days where he hasn't felt confident or comfortable with his body image which he doesn’t wish on anyone. It isn't easy to love yourself, to look in the mirror and be proud of who you are, and he tries to help where he can so long as the person is comfortable opening up about it with him. He sees the signs in you, the moments where you look at yourself and your mood darkens as though plagued by thoughts about yourself that no-one else can hear - seeing you struggling to deal with your own body image makes his heart bleed for you.

During a particularly bad bout of self doubt Shinya decides to finally sit down for a talk with you about it, to open up that pathway of conversation so that you have the option to confide your troubles to him should you actually want to bring it up. All it takes is a moment alone after school hours with just him and a drink, the atmosphere one of as much comfort and warmth as the boy can manage; it’s enough for you to crack and talk to him, to open up about how you’ve been feeling so bad about your body and that you’ve been struggling to find positives about your form. He listens to your problems with an expression of compassion as he listens to you speak, it’s one of those expressions that makes you want to spill everything, to lay your very thoughts bare, and you have to stop yourself from getting too carried away once you realize that you’re letting your mouth run.

He can't give you good advice, or so he says, but he does his best to tell you the kinds of things that he tries to tell himself during the moments where he’s at his worst. Shinya tells you that the road to accepting and loving yourself is a constant battle, it’s not an easy one, nor has it ever been. Some days you’ll feel good about yourself, maybe even confident, but other days you’ll feel as though its impossible to even look at yourself and find something that you like - he can’t say when or if it will get easier, but what he can say is that your body is important, no matter what shape, what size, or what condition. And while you don’t always have to love it, you can learn to live with it, to look inside yourself and find the parts of you that you do love. Even if those parts change from day to day, even if you feel as though you can’t find a single one those lovable parts that make up the person that he sees before him those parts are still very much there, and he sincerely hopes that as time passes and you come to find yourself that you’ll be able to look at all those parts, those you deem both lovable and unlovable in your eyes, with a fondness, knowing that every single one of them build up to one majorly lovable thing - you.

He gets kind of bashful once he realizes that he’s rattled on for quite a while, especially upon seeing your face looking at him with such surprise, but he still hopes that those words have found a home in you, that you’ll carry them with you and hold them close until the time comes that you need to remember them. And well, even if you do forget them, he’ll be right there to remind you of those words, and he’ll be there prove just how much he means them too, watching you as you try to hide your face behind your drink and look out of the shop window, brows knitted in concentration as you mull over the conversation that the two of you have just shared.

Taurus Mask

You’d slipped up during a talk with Taurus mask - you really hadn’t meant to let loose a bad comment about your body image while he was around, but you’d gotten so used to mulling those kinds of thought around in your head that you hadn’t realized that you’d said it out loud until the latest topic he was rattling on about came screeching to a halt. He spins around upon hearing you talk so negatively about your body, and in the next moment Taurus Mask is quick to intervene, slapping both hands onto your shoulders to get you to look at him and expression determined as he asks if he just heard what you’d said right. You don’t even have enough time to come up with a good excuse before he’s talking again, giving you what you can only assume is a serious speech about how you shouldn’t be entertaining thoughts like that for a second. He exclaims so earnestly that all of those bad things that you’ve been thinking about yourself and yourself simply aren’t true - you’re amazing! And you know that, right? Right?! At the blank stare that he gets in response he sighs, but quickly regains conviction as he starts up again.

You may not see it but he’s telling the truth, and you’ve shown just how amazing your form is too on multiple occasions, exhibiting just how you use your body’s strengths to your advantage both inside and outside of the ring. Whilst you don’t recognize these strengths you can be sure that Taurus Mask has seen it first hand numerous times and remembers every single one of them. He’s seen every muscle in your body as it flexes and moves, your stance and how you hold yourself like your body is indestructible, how you stand against things three times your size with enough power behind your form to make them quake and cower knowing better than to face you.

Not to mention the shape of your face and the shape of your body bathed under just about every kind of light? It makes you look ethereal, untouchable and like your body was sculpted just to be so breathtaking. You’re amazing in body, mind and spirit - that's just one of the many reasons why you’re the perfect soul brother! So why would you feel so bad about yourself?

He gets flustered when right after his speech you point out that it’ss bold words coming from the man who hides his identity, but even though he knows you’ve kind of got a point hehe stands by his words regardless because every single word of it is the truth - you may not see how amazing you are, but he and others do, and hell you don’t even need to ask to get those people to tell you just what they think of you. And of course if you ever need to get a big reminder of that fact then you better get ready, because Taurus mask is going to do everything he can until you see yourself the way that he sees you!

Kengo

Most of Kengo’s body concerns have revolved around maintaining his physical strength, making sure that he can keep up with the training that he sets for himself every day, so it’s because of this focus that he doesn't sweat much on body shapes and positivity, or just hasn’t bothered to look at that aspect too closely. (I mean this is the man who had to learn his legs could be used to reach higher in a fight, he’s got a very direct line of thinking). But he does know that it is a big deal for others, and that they have to deal with a lot of negative thoughts; I mean hell, he’s seen his fair share of people struggling with those kinds of things too, he just didn't expect you to be one of those people until it actually comes to light that you’ve been feeling pretty low about how you look and how you view yourself. And seeing you thinking that kinda way sucks, so don’t be too surprised when he confronts you about it and tries to talk to you about how you’re feeling.

He confides that he doesn't fuss too much about it and doesn't see why you think so bad about yourself - you've got a damn good body and you've proven that you know how to use those muscles of yours! Honestly cheering you up in that regard isn’t entirely his strong suit, but he does genuinely mean well, and if he gets out of hand with some of the things that he says while trying to give you a pep talk he’ll totally understand if you tell him to cool it off and give you some time to think about it.

With that being said, if you're really determined to make a change in yourself though Kengo’s definitely gonna be there to help you the whole way. If you wanna shape up some more you can always come up to the mountains with him sometime to train, or even just to get away from those negative thoughts clouding your head for a couple of hours the mountain proves to be an ideal location for either one of those options. However, be warned though those little training excursions can get pretty damn intense, and more often than not you’re going to get roped into more than a couple of hectic situations (but then again that’s the norm in Housamo, so I’m sure you’ll be fine). But if you decide to tag along with him you’ll end up coming away with some pretty good life lessons on learning to get along with your body, and how to view your body image in a more positive light, even if you may not realize it by the time that the two of you come back down.

Kengo’s gonna keep an eye on you just in case any new methods that you decide to pick up dip into unhealthy territory, because that in itself is really dangerous for both your physical and mental well being. And if they do you can bet he’s dragging you by your ankles to the other summoners for an intervention until they’ve drilled into your head that taking care of your body comes first and you shouldn't put your health at risk just for the sake of reaching a particular goal.

#Anonymous #housamo #housamo imagine #housamo headcanon #imagines #headcanons #tokyo afterschool summoners #kengo #housamo kengo #kengo takabushi #shinya #housamo shinya #taurus mask #housamo taurus mask #housamo daisuke #daisuke #request #ask

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crimson-snowfall · 4 years

Text

One Big Happy Family, pt. 2.1/3

Word Count: 1315

Genre: Crack/Comedy

One Big Happy Family, Part 2.1/3: Hideyoshi & Mitsuhide edition

Additional Notes: Hi! Sorry this took a really long time, but I’ve been going through a lot irl so yea idk if anyone was actually looking forward to this but nonetheless sorry for the wait!

Hideyoshi choked on and spat out his tea.

"Lord Hideyoshi! Please maintain your composure!" The reporting vassal cried out as he hurriedly retrieved a rug to clean after his lord's unexpected mess.

Hideyoshi took a few deep breaths to recover from the initial shock, then wagered to hear the news again. After all, quelling a rebellion on one of the Oda territories left him without adequate sleep lately, and he considered the possibility that he might've just heard things wrong.

"Yeah, I'm sorry for that, but can you repeat what you just said?"

The vassal shifted about uncomfortably on his spot. Saying it for the first time already took a lot of courage, and having to repeat the news after seeing his lord's reaction wasn’t certainly any easier. However, he cannot keep him waiting forever, so swallowing the lump of fear in his throat, he repeated,

"It's about Lady Hikari. Yesterday, she was spotted holding hands with--"

"Father! Sorry I'm late!" The lady in question, Hikari Toyotomi, burst into the room just before the vassal could finish his statement. The vassal let out a sigh of relief as his opportunity to get out of his current predicament came into the room, because knowing Hideyoshi, almost everything else is irrelevant when one of his daughters is within his presence. The vassal wasted no time in getting out of the room, and his lord let him.

"Were you running in the corridors again? You know I would rather wait than have you running around," Hideyoshi gently scolded his eldest daughter. He hasn't seen her for weeks, and he honestly didn't feel like starting their tea time with the unpleasant rumor he'd probably misheard to begin with.

"You're such a worrywart, Father. I'm no longer a child, you know," Hikari said as she took out the snacks a certain someone had given her that morning. She had begun pouring tea for both of them when her father noticed her new hairpin.

"That hairpin suits you very well, Hikari. Did your mother pick it for you during the festival yesterday?"

"No, mother didn't accompany me to the festival this year," she replied nonchalantly, and Hideyoshi's worries began to resurface.

"Then did you go to the festival alone?" Concern was evident in his voice, but deep down he hoped that that was the case. Sure, he'd still end up scolding her for going alone, but at least, it wasn't as bad as the alternate scenario. Hideyoshi silently prayed over and over in his mind to hear a 'yes,' but alas, he wasn't meant to hear such a comforting response in that situation. Not being the type to beat around the bush, Hikari braved the situation and went straight to the point.

"No, I wasn't alone. I attended the festival with Mitsuyoshi, and he's the one who gave me this hairpin," Hikari confessed as she touched the ornament affectionately, a faint blush on her cheeks.

Hideyoshi's abstinence from drinking tea or having any of the sweets after asking such questions quickly paid off, because he certainly would've ended up repeating his reaction from a while ago upon his daughter's confirmation of his worst nightmares.

"What do you mean-- I mean, why are you with Mitsuyoshi? Didn't I forbid you from going out with him? Don't you know there's been rumors going around that the two of you are lovers because you went to the festival together?" Hideyoshi was starting to get riled up, but Hikari knew her father well enough and she had been mentally preparing for this moment for quite some time now.

"Those were no mere rumors, my dear father. Our feelings for each other are mutual, whether you like it or not," Hikari calmly stated before taking a sip on her tea, hoping that the warmth of the drink would reinforce her nerves for the scolding she knew her revelation had warranted.

"Is that so, Hikari? So you're not even going to try to deny the rumors that you two are… are lo… lov-"

"But you were the one who raised me to be an honest person," she didn't want to cut her father off, but Hideyoshi looked like he was in pain just trying to get the words out of his mouth.

"Exactly! That's why I don't understand why you're so taken with that son of a snake! What's so great about--"

Hikari just silently hung her head as her father went on a tirade against her lover. She thought that the least she could do for her father was to let him scold her to his heart’s content, but at the same time she also had an upcoming appointment with her lover, which meant that she needed to go soon. After finishing her tea and listening to her father just scold her for another half an hour, she finally decided it was time to go.

"I'm sorry father, but I have somewhere I need to be right now," Hikari apologetically said as she stood up to leave, bowing her head as deeply as she could, before running out of the room.

Of course, Hideyoshi wasn't just about to let his eldest daughter run off again and so he gave chase, but Hikari thanked her lucky stars when she spotted her little sister as soon as she turned a corner. Pulling out a small pouch of the younger girl's favorite candies from the sleeves of her kimono, Hikari bribed her with it. She leaned down and placed the pouch on her sister's hands, then gave out a quick instruction,

"Hitomi-chan, won't you cool father's head off for big sister? I'll get you more candies if you do, okay?"

Hitomi gave her older sister a cheerful nod at the mention of more candies, before Hikari took off once more. It didn't take long before their enraged father came into sight, and in retrospect Hitomi thought that her father would have definitely accidentally run her over had she not called him out the way she did.

"No running in the hallways, Father!"

Hideyoshi froze on his tracks upon hearing his younger daughter's high-pitched voice, and he was greeted by her cute, albeit frowning face as he looked down.

"But your sister is off to meet that--"

"No buts! You told me so too yourself!" The little girl huffed indignantly at her father. Whereas Hikari was a perfect blend between him and his wife, Hitomi was quite the spitting image of himself. Hearing someone who looks like him scold him for not following his own teachings, even though that someone was a little girl, had quite the effect on him. Hideyoshi sighed in defeat, before picking up his younger daughter in one arm.

"Father is so sorry, Hitomi-chan. Now, will you tell me what's that you're holding in your hand?"

"Candies! Now, will you help me with them? I know you won't let me finish all these by myself anyway," Hitomi asked her father earnestly, and the moment Hideyoshi saw his little Hitomi flash those pleading eyes on him, he knew that there's no point in even trying to argue about the candy.

"Okay, okay. Will Hitomi-chan join her stressed out father for tea then?"

"Yes, I'd love to!"

Tea time with his younger daughter went off smoothly in comparison to the one with his older daughter, save for the time the little girl tried pouring tea for him and almost ended up scalding him with the hot water. Watching Hitomi as she is now reminded him of how Hikari used to be when she was younger and more obedient, but now he had to accept that she might have entered her rebellious years.

"And since when did she learn to be so sneaky anyway, using her sweet little sister to escape me like that? That Akechi boy is really a bad influence on her…" Hideyoshi groaned under his breath.

Anyway, this is part 2.1 of 3 because this one turned out longer than expected so I decided to just split it into two parts, which means there will still be a part 2.2 to this before part 3 (which I’ll keep a secret as to who will be involved in it for now)... also yea I know the name Mitsuyoshi is just a mash-up of Mitsuhide and Hideyoshi’s names ahgshghaf pardon my lack of creativity lmao

See also: [[Part 1: Ieyasu & Mitsunari edition]]

#ikesen fanfic #ikesen hideyoshi #ikesen mitsuhide #ikemen sengoku #ikemen sengoku fanfiction #ikemen sengoku hideyoshi #ikemen sengoku mitsuhide #ikesen crack

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littlespoonevan · 4 years

Note

Hi! I love your fics so much, they're so cute!!! I was wondering if you could write about Mickey's reaction to Ian's Monica tattoo and/or his black hair in prison? Hope you have a great day!

first of all, thank you :’)) and askdjlhf god i am so wEAK for anything involving their prison reunion!!! this kind of devolved from hair talk to relationship talk in the middle lmao but hopefully you still like it!!

(also just a head’s up: i’m not gonna be accepting anymore prompts at the moment bc i really want to clear out the ones i already have so i can start on my long fic. i hope people don’t mind!!!)

Ian had really believed he’d never see Mickey again.Ian had really believed prison would be the end of him. Ian had really believeda lot of things until his cell door had opened and Mickey Milkovich was suddenlystanding in front of him, here to save him from himself one last time.

After the initial reunion – the delicate kiss thathad turned hurried until Mickey reluctantly reminded him the window to theircell wasn’t exactly one-sided – they stay on Mickey’s bunk. To be honest, thisposition is no less compromising than what they’d been doing ten minutes agobut Ian isn’t quite prepared to have Mickey out of his reach just yet. Mickey’shalf-sitting, half-laying down as he sticks to his original spot leaningagainst the pillow while Ian sits slouched with his back against the wall andhis right leg pressed up against Mickey’s.

“The fuck is with all this anyway?” Mickey asks whenthere’s a momentary lull in their conversation, hand reaching up to scrubthrough Ian’s hair.

“Oh.” Ian blushes and ducks his head to stare down athis hands. “Guess I didn’t wanna draw attention to myself.”

Mickey raises his eyebrows and his mouth curves up ina smile and it’s such a familiar look Ian feels like fucking crying. He neverthought he’d see Mickey look like that again.

“You know your eyebrows don’t really match your hair,”Mickey comments then, snickering when Ian hits his leg half-heartedly.

“You got a better idea?” Ian grumbles, leaning hishead back against the wall to meet Mickey’s gaze.

“Yeah, don’t get fuckin’ arrested for blowing up avan.”

Ian winces, feeling shame burn through him, but thenMickey’s reaching out and taking his hand. He runs his thumb over the skin ofIan’s knuckles and Ian watches Mickey watch their hands for a minute.

“What the fuck happened, Ian?” Mickey asks softly,finally raising his gaze to meet Ian’s.

Ian shrugs uncomfortably and squeezes Mickey’s handtight in his own to ground himself. “Stopped taking my meds,” he admits quietly.“No one really noticed until it was too late, I guess.”

“What d’you mean no one noticed?” Mickey asks and helooks pissed but not at Ian, he doesn’t think.

Ian shrugs again. “I guess I seemed okay for the mostpart and people had other shit going on. The whole Gay Jesus thing, it gotoutta control pretty quickly.”

“What about that guy you were seeing?” Mickey askssuddenly and Ian hates the reminder of Trevor, hates that Mickey even had toknow about him.

“He’d never seen me manic before,” Ian says. “Guesshe didn’t know what signs to look for.”

“I didn’tknow what signs to look for,” Mickey snaps – again, he doesn’t direct it at Ianbut more the situation at large. “Fuck, you weren’t even diagnosed back then,there was no fuckin’ medication for you to be taking and I knew something waswrong. I knew-“

Mickey cuts himself off abruptly, huffing out afrustrated breath and Ian squeezes his hand again, tugging on it just a bit toget Mickey to look at him.

“You would’ve known this time too,” Ian murmurs. “Iknow you would’ve. It’s okay, it’s my fault you weren’t there. Not yours.”

Mickey doesn’t argue with him or disagree, just sitsup a little straighter and moves himself closer into Ian’s space. “You feelokay now?”

Ian nods earnestly. “I’m stable,” he promises. “Haven’tmissed a dose since I sorted my shit out.”

“Good,” Mickey replies, low and half-mumbled.

“And for what it’s worth,” Ian continues, leaningforward to bump his forehead against Mickey’s before returning to his originalspot. “Me and Trevor are done. I tried to make myself want him again after-after you. But it didn’t really work. My heart wasn’t in it.”

Mickey looks at him, eyes darting all over Ian’s facelike he’s trying to read him for answers. Ian lets him look, drinks in thesight of Mickey before him and reminds himself this is real.

“We should talk about it,” Mickey says finally, eyesflitting to their hands and back up again. “Just- we can wait a couple ofhours.”

Ian nods and smiles because he gets it. They have amountain of shit to work through, probably as far back as the second timeMickey got out of juvie, if they’re being honest, and he knows being stuck in thesame room for the foreseeable future is the perfect excuse to finally do it.But…they just got each other back. And it seems like Mickey wants to bask inthe reunion just as much as he does.

“How’d you find out about me anyway?” Ian asks becausehe hasn’t yet and while Mickey’s always seemed to have a sixth sense aboutknowing when Ian’s in trouble and always seems to show up at exactly the righttime, this one feels a little beyond the realm of possibility.

Mickey shrugs and this time he’s the one who looksembarrassed. “Some kid in Mexico had a shirt with your face on it. I asked himabout it.”

Ian can’t believe that. Can’t believe Mickey wouldrisk everything – the new life he’d built, his freedom, his safety – just to come back here and bewith Ian. But he supposes he should. Back in the early days all Ian had wantedwas some kind of proof that Mickey loved him, that he wanted to stay. Now- thisis quite possibly the biggest love declaration he could’ve made.

“We can talk about that shit later too,” Mickey saysthen, brushing Ian’s thoughts away with a wave of his hand. “What we reallyneed to discuss now,” he continues, hand snaking up the back of Ian’s neckuntil his fingers are tangled in Ian’s hair, “is what the fuck we’re gonna doabout your hair.”

Ian barks out a laugh. “You miss the red?”

Mickey gives him an exasperated look that’s verypointedly not a denial. “You might have to go back to your buzzcut days, army.”

Ian grins at the old nickname and doesn’t protestwhen Mickey uses the hand on the back of his head to guide him closer.

“But then you can’t put your hands in my hair,” Ianpoints out teasingly. Tugging on Ian’s hair has always been one of Mickey’sweaknesses and judging by the look on his face, it still is.

Mickey seems to weigh his options for a moment beforehis nods decisively. “I can deal for a few weeks.”

Ian’s grin is so wide he thinks his face is going tosplit in two as he shakes his head. “You’re so full of shit.”

Mickey scoffs. “So I gotta type, sue me.” He’ssmirking at Ian now, fingers massaging the back of Ian’s scalp and it’s just-it’s the combination of the teasing and the comfort. It’s everything Ian needsand exactly what makes him lean in to kiss Mickey again, current environment bedamned.

Mickey kisses him back anyway, soft and sweet, andlets his forehead linger against Ian’s for a moment when they break apart.

They’re both quiet for a beat but then Mickey leansback. “Seriously though, first thing in the morning. We’re getting you a razor.”

Ian laughs and thinks the next two years of his lifesuddenly sound a lot more bearable.

#gallavich #ian x mickey #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #shameless #my fics #i didn't want to put in the lil psa askjdlf but i was /just/ about to finish my prompts and i got a few more this weekend #so i just need to put them on pause for now <3 #Anon #asks

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