#I totally just talked to myself throughout the entire post

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

wibta if i refused to help my classmates going forward?

i am in university for a science degree. i have been struggling for almost my entire degree due to undiagnosed ADHD and autism, as well as my habit from grade school of working myself too hard. i went into burnout from 2020-2022 and failed most courses i took. i had to cut down on my work significantly so i could stay in university and finish my degree. it's been 5 years and i'm just over halfway finished. the end's not in sight yet, but it's getting there.

this semester, i'm taking two courses that i've struggled in previously and am retaking actually. the term will most likely be over once this is posted. one i've finished twice but didn't have a high enough grade to move forward (chemistry) and the other i've dropped 2 times before to avoid failing (calculus). the subject areas might give more context, and my chemistry course isn't introductory. they're also notoriously very difficult, and most people end up retaking this chemistry course several times. they're both needed for my degree and a similar degree. someone in both classes (2 different people) made group chats specifically so we could help each other. at first it was a very good idea, and i myself benefitted from them, managing to get a really high mark on a math assignment because of the group chat and sharing our work/processes.

this term is the one term we have a mid-semester break, and while the details are irrelevant here, i went away during this break, and i came back in a fairly poor mental state. i didn't want to share my work anymore, and said i was uncomfortable doing so. this got me mocked (i believe, but no one's commented on it or said anything to me about it) in my math class group chat when i asked for the notes after having to leave class early due to the noise. i have misophonia, and i was incredibly close to shouting "shut the fuck up" one say when they honestly just wouldn't stop talking. it's been a problem this term in this class where several groups in the class have been chatting amongst themselves during lecture. my friend (i think we're friends?) emailed our professor (i think i was named in the email), and he addressed the class about it, but as a whole, has told me directly that there wasn't much else he could do about it since they might be talking to each other to understand better.

at this point, there's only about 3 weeks left of classes and then finals, so it's not worth dropping out, especially since i don't think i'm in danger of failing. but that was all kind of just background info. it's been a rough semester for me.

in my chemistry class, we have weekly lab reports. they aren't huge, 10+ page reports, and i can usually do them in about 2-3 hours of work total. i usually work on them in small pieces throughout the week, so i can focus on other assignments as well as lectures. they're due at the beginning of lab, and we have lab on friday afternoons. this wouldn't be an issue if not for thursdays.

at the beginning of the semester, i made myself kinda known as Someone Who Has Answers. i like to help people when they're struggling, and i know that these are difficult classes, and i have past experience taking them with these instructors specifically, so i helped in any which way i could. after our mid-semester break, i was in no mood to help anyone. but on thursday evenings and friday mornings, i would get text messages from a few people asking me about the lab report. but not just a few messages. i would get asked on EVERY BIT of the lab report. i try to be patient, as i understand hidden struggles. but i was at the end of my rope. i never snapped, and i always tried to help them, but sometimes i was very frustrated because on thursdays, i have 2 classes (doesn't sound like a lot, but at my school, my lectures are 2-3 hours long, so it's about 5 hours total of lectures) at two different campuses, so i leave at about 7:30am and get home at about 5:30-6:00pm. it's my night to clean the kitchen as well, so my patience is very thin at the end of the day. i never agreed to help them, and they are texting me. i don't know how to tell them "i'm in no mood to help" but it made me so upset to the point that i was saying that next semester, i wouldn't give my number to anyone. i'm not a tutor, and i'm struggling to stay afloat myself in these classes. i don't have all of the answers, and tbh i'm not even confident on most of my answers. i've tried to make this clear, but they still come to me for help. next semester, i'm retaking ANOTHER course that i failed (not failed, but didn't get a high enough mark to move forward) and i honestly feel like a dick for not helping when i could and should help.

this is probably a nonissue tbh. i'm on the verge of dropping out myself because i took on too much this semester and this just kinda feels like it's all more than i can handle.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[rukia-writes]

I saw the Sif!reader x Thor and remembered an old post asking about Frigg with Odin, and had a request idea when you have the time! Like maybe she proportioned very well (Aphrodite would be jealous) but she’s sweet, and very flirty with her husband! But thinks that due to her being older she’s no longer appealing to Odin! How would Odin fix this? Could we have a Figg!reader x Odin please?

Odin! My Achilles heel! Anon, this has to be one of the greatest requests ever. ♥️

Frigg! Reader x Odin

“Calling the meeting order!”

Zeus called the meeting to order as he clanged his small mallet down on the table as it echoed throughout god’s council. Many gods and goddesses attended, while many had different ranks there were two particular people attending that caught their attention.

Odin and (Name).

Married. Happily married.

Some wondered how Odin, a god of few words managed to marry the beautiful goddess beside him. Total opposites if placed side by side, Odin a god of few words while his wife was flirty yet sweet. Odin, a well built older man while she a well proportioned younger looking goddess.

Yet, appearances can be deceiving.

In truth, (Name), Odin’s beloved wife and queen, was older than Odin. While her beauty was on par with Aphrodite herself her age would trouble her from time to time. Not that the goddess would had time dwell on such things as her husband showered her with gifts throughout the many years.

Speaking of which.

“Before we end the meeting…I just wanted to congratulate Odin and (Name) on their anniversary! They’ve been together for since the Big Bang! Maybe longer!”

Zeus excitedly announced to the gods in council as the many gods and goddess clapped their hands together and congratulated the two. Odin found Zeus’ announcement unnecessary, Hugninn and Mugninn were shy as they rubbed their wings on their heads while muttering “Damn, that Zeus!” “Putting us on the spot like this.”

“Aww, don’t let him get to you. I think it’s sweet.”

Quickly kissing Odin’s cheek, infront of the entire council, the two birds squawked and hid themselves in Odin’s long black hair as Odin made a “Hm” noise and yet he didn’t budge or scold her.

In truth, Odin never scolded his wife.

The gods and goddess made awe at the sight knowing the only goddess that could get away such things was (Name). Zeus dismissed the council and the gods left in good spirits and while Odin and (Name) walked out together they were stopped by Aphrodite.

“Congratulations! You look as lovely as the day I met you, (Name). You’re a little older now, but still beautiful.”

Odin watched as Aphrodite hugged his wife noticing (Name)’s quick little frown proceeding with a polite smile, Odin noticed everything as it was; more so when it came to his wife. Smiling Aphrodite gently tapped (Name)’s nose kindly surprising her.

“And when you’re ready you can come down to my beauty salon. We take care of everything.”

Teasing, Aphrodite pointed to the corner of her eye making (Name) frown again as she quickly touched the corner of her eye thinking about “crows feet”.

“I meant eye lashes.”

A little chuckle left Aphrodite as she saw (Name) become flustered at misunderstanding the goddess of love and beauty. Aphrodite smiled and congratulated Odin, even petting the two ravens making them turn bashful.

Making (Name) pout a little.

“You can also come by Odin, I’ll wash your hair myself if you’d like.”

Again, Aphrodite teased before she left and as she did (Name) noticed Odin looking at her Aphrodite as she left. Hugninn and Mugninn started talking how they found Aphrodite’s teasing in bad taste, However Odin silenced them by saying “Enough.” And as the married couple left together (Name) had a few thoughts about Odin and Aphrodite.

The thoughts only became worse when over the next few days, thinking to herself how Aphrodite was younger than herself and how she noticed Odin looking at her. Even when she kindly flirted with her husband she noticed Odin wouldn’t get as flustered as he did, at least not like he did in the beginning of their relationship.

Thinking to herself perhaps she was losing her touch, her appeal to Odin because she was older now even if she did look relatively the same as the day the two met. A few days later, while walking in the gardens (Name) over heard two familiar voices talking in the gardens.

Peeking around the tall bush she saw Loki and Thor talking to one another as Thor cleaned off Mjölnir with a cloth as Loki floated about lazily.

“Isn’t the old lady and old man’s anniversary soon?”

(Name) knew Loki could be “playful” but he didn’t know the weight of his words by calling her a “old lady.” Pouting (Name) wished Loki could have called her something else.

“It’s tomorrow actually.”

Thor, like his father was a man of few words and paid more attention to cleaning Mjölnir than talking.

“What did you get the old lady and the old man?”

“I didn’t get father anything. But I got (Name) a basket of fruit.”

“…That’s it?! Fruit?!”

“…she likes fruits.”

Thor dryly responded back to a surprised Loki, Thor also commented that it was (Name) who taught him how to grow fruits. Loki found that information interesting.

“Also, (Name) is older than father.”

“…How do you know this?!”

“Father told me.”

Loki found that information very interesting as he knew appearances could be deceiving being a trickster god, but his uncle being younger than his wife yet older in appearance made the god laugh.

“And just what are you doing?”

A Calm yet authoritative voice spoke up from behind (Name) scaring her as she gave a little yell, getting Thor and Loki’s attention. There Odin stood, his presence ever authoritative as ever.

“Uncle Odin! Auntie (Name)! We were just talking about you!”

Loki cheerfully spoke as he floated over to Odin and (Name), Thor didn’t move from his spot as he kept cleaning Mjölnir.

“And just what we’re you talking about?!”

“Yeah, it had better not be you plotting!”

Huginn & Muninn “interrogated” Loki who wasn’t phased by their behavior, instead the trickster god looked at (Name) then Odin.

“I know it’s your anniversary and I’m happy you two have lived such long lives. I was just informed that Auntie (Name) is older than you Uncle Odin, how did that happen?”

Huginn & Muninn were taken back by Loki question and began to scold him which Loki didn’t flinch at as he rolled his eyes until Odin spoke up.

“I found her interesting and beautiful.”

Everyone seemed to be taken back by Odin’s words, even Thor stopped what he was doing to listen in. Not satisfied Loki smiled and floated near Odin as (Name) was happy by her husbands words so far.

“Expand on that uncle Odin. I’m curious.”

“We may be opposites but we are the same. Shes very good with her words and actions. I don’t care that she’s older than me.”

Loki didn’t expect an answer much less an detailed answer from the all father as Loki nodded his head content with a little smile, Thor wasn’t expecting that answer but he didn’t mind, and (Name) found Odin’s words comforting as she hugged his arm and rested her head against his arm as the two ravens shielded their eyes with their wing.

“..The hell do you mean by actions?”

Thor asked curiously to his father as he finally decided to acknowledge his father by facing him, Now Loki was curious as he watched the couple closely for any clues.

“..Another day, another time. For now, (Name) and I have to prepare for our anniversary.”

Odin told Thor as he walked away from his nephew and son with (Name) still clinging to his arm. Loki whispered to Thor with teasing smile.

“I’m telling you, they are some kind of kinky.”

Thor made a “hm” sound and went back to get Mjölnir.

“I was going to wait until tomorrow, but I’ll just give you your gift now…”

Still in the gardens, the married couple walked together side by side. Odin had told the two ravens to be off for awhile as he wanted some alone time with his wife and of course the two ravens did as they were told. Before finding (Name) in the gardens Odin had suspected something was troubling his wife and when he pieced together that (Name) troubled by the age from Aphrodite and Loki he decided the best course was to give her the anniversary gift ahead of time. Odin would have comforted with gifts and letters filled with poetry even if it wasn’t their anniversary.

Odin, didn’t count on Loki asking him about his wife. Nonetheless, it all worked out as he had no problem saying how he felt as he truly did love her.

“..I’m aware of your little trouble. I can assure you, you haven’t lost your appeal.”

Odin handed his wife a golden apple, a golden apple inscribed on it were the words,

ᛒᛖᚨᚢᛏᛁᚠᚢᛚ ᚾᛟᚹ ᚨᚾᛞ ᚠᛟᚱᛖᚡᛖᚱ.

Beautiful now and forever.

(Name) was now assured, her beloved husband loved her more than anything. Giving her the symbol of marriage with a confirmation that her age didn’t matter to him, she was loved as much the day they met. Smiling, (Name) held the gift with one hand and gave her thoughtful husband a kiss on the lips. After the two shared a kiss, wrapping her arms around Odin’s while holding to her anniversary gift (Name) sweetly talked to her husband.

“You’re still charming and sweet as ever I see. Would you like to charm me elsewhere?”

Sweet yet flirty, Odin could tell what his beloved wife meant after many years together he knew it was one of the reasons he loved her. A little smirk came to his face as he agreed to do so, knowing his wife would never lose her appeal and if she ever felt like she wasn’t he would be there to remind her with gifts and love.

🎀Rukia-Writes🎀

#ror x reader #odin record of ragnarok x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader

[vickyvicarious]

Do you think Jonathan's week of silence has to do with his mental state like it did back in June? We know that Seward is silent because you cannot exactly carry your desktop computer to Bulgaria, and Mina is busy having to keep her mind in total secrecy to write updates about anything, but Jonathan is free to write, but doesn't.

...It now also occurs to me that Jonathan must be keeping his journal always on his person, for Mina-Dracula to not take it and read it. Just like in the Castle.

Yes and no. I mean, on the one hand, yeah he's definitely in a rough space right now and I think him refusing to write certain things definitely reflects that. He has to ensure there is a record of anything significant, but he can't bring himself to be the one to write it - I'm talking 11 October here. He made sure Jack wrote it down, which lets us know what happened, but we can only work off Jonathan's silence in not writing it himself (as well as his silence when asked to promise) to decide exactly how he feels about it. It's obvious he's upset but there's not the blatant "and I did not answer her" that we might've seen when reading his own account.* Since he's not alone like he was in the castle, he can afford to outsource the most agonizing events to others and know they will still be preserved. He didn't write Mina's account of the assault on 3 October either, or his own experience when he was kept asleep for that matter. Instead he left that to Jack's record and picked up with what they did afterwards.

But he has written since those moments, after all, when there was something to report. The week-long silence comes after those entries. I think this can still be compared pretty easily to his long silences in the castle... because, along with reflecting his despair, they also reflected long stretches where the situation didn't really change. Sure, it was just as awful. Jonathan and Dracula were still having storytime just about every night. Dracula was still doing his creepy touching. But I genuinely don't believe anything new happened, just stuff that was continuing established patterns. Since Jonathan wasn't getting any new information, he didn't feel the same need to put it in the record. Part of that was certainly that he would feel even more disheartened having to write "mentally & emotionally tormented again today. felt like a rat in a cage again today. chicken for dinner and the count took my arm to lead me in and I felt such intense revulsion I nearly yanked myself away but his grip was just on the edge of not painful and I know what his grip can become so I made myself smile at him instead. again." and so on, day after day. Part of it was certainly that he didn't have the hope/strength to write. Part of it was even likely him trying to preserve room in his likely limited diary space. But also... I think it's just that as soon as Jonathan writes for a purpose, he doesn't put in entries that don't further that purpose.

His purpose in the castle was to document what the fuck was going on with the Count, and also to record his own attempts at escape. When Dracula didn't display any new behaviors and Jonathan himself saw no new avenues to try and risk anything... we gets days and days of silence.

Right now... I think I said this in the tags of a post a few days ago. Jonathan's heart and head are entirely focused on Mina and Dracula right now. In opposing ways, obviously, love vs. hatred, desire to protect vs. desire to destroy, and so on and so forth. But he's focused on them. His purpose for writing is to record what is going on with the hunt for Dracula so that Mina can read it. He will also write about her condition, but I'd say that's almost a lesser priority because his decision on what to do if she turns is made so her continuing to slowly turn doesn't signify anything new for him in a sense. And of course, she'd know it through experience (and he would be there by her side throughout it) whereas the Dracula hunt stuff is what has been kept from her and thus will interest her to know once she can be told things again. But regardless, if Jonathan isn't writing then I think we can assume it is because, just like in the castle, the situation hasn't changed. Dracula is still on the ship. Mina is still sleeping a lot. The men have put their plan into place and currently nothing about it has changed, so there's no need for an update.

As soon as something changes, we'll start hearing from him again. Or at least, he will ensure we hear from someone; he will once again deputize Jack to write it for him if the changes are something he doesn't feel like he can bring himself to talk about.

*(Speaking of, this feels like it goes along with "She is calling to me." He will always answer her call - except that time. Except when she isn't asking him to join her but to kill her. Then he just sits silently.)

.

As for your thought about Jonathan always keeping his journal on him again.... OUCH, okay. I don't think that Mina has reached the point of being puppeteered in such a way, but they have certainly passed the point of 'if she sees/hears it even accidentally then he'll know too' so that would be reason enough. I also cannot make up my mind whether Jonathan would be the last person to consider such a thing, because he loves Mina so much and wants to deny that Dracula could so fully control her like that... or whether he would be the first person to think of it because he knows the Count so well. Either way, the comparison is fantastic angst.

#dracula daily #jonathan harker #anonymous #replies

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Bengiyo Queer Cinema Syllabus

Hello! After a holiday hiatus, I am returning to @bengiyo’s queer cinema syllabus. We will be ringing in the new year with Unit 4: Heartbreak Alley, the totally light-hearted, definitely not agonizing section of the syllabus where I get to watch countless acts of violence be committed against queer people. That fuck I have Lesbians waiting for me at the end of this unit. The films in Unit 4 are: Bent (1997), Strange Fruit (2004), Boys Don’t Cry (1999), Brokeback Mountain (2005), Parting Glances (1986), Philadelphia (1993), The Living End (1992), Holding the Man (2015), Jeffery (1995), and Boys on the SIde (1995)

Today I will be writing about 

Boy’s Don’t Cry (1999) dir. Kimberly Pierce

Content Warning: rape, murder, self harm

[Run Time- 1:58, Lang: English] [I was not able to find Strange Fruit anywhere online so will investigate my library to see if they have a copy]

Summary: A young man named Brandon Teena navigates love, life, and being transgender in rural Nebraska. 

Cast: *Hilary Swank as Brandon Teena *Chloe Sevigny as Lana Tisdel *Peter Sarsgaard as John Lotter *Brendan Sexton III as Tom Nissen *Alicia Goranson as Candace

Side note: Boys Don’t Cry is based on the true story, and real life rape and murder of Brandon Teena, who was 21 years old when he was killed in Fall River, Nebraska. 

__

To start, I’m glad that I looked this film up before I watched it so that I knew what to expect. I don’t know how often this will occur throughout the syllabus, but while the syllabus itself is a lead in to BLs it seems to be structured towards Baby Gays, which means that I am expanding my knowledge of famous trans people in history beyond Stonewall. I didn’t know who Brandon Teena was until I looked up this movie, I didn’t see his name printed in anything until I read Transgender History. 

I am having a delayed reaction to this movie. While I was watching it, I was able to bear witness to the violence, it was graphic, and brutal, but I knew it was coming, I had time to prepare myself, I could abstract the violence being done in to a fictional character, I could remind myself it was a movie when the cameras panned away from the dead bodies and I could see the supposed corpses breathing. And then it was over and I couldn’t escape it anymore. I couldn’t escape the knowledge that this was real, that this actually happened, that what I had just watched, what I was not spared from, was bearing witness to an actual crime, to actual violence, rape, murder of an actual, real human being, of Family. 

I said this in my last post from Heartbreak Alley that I went in to this section just expecting to be put through the wringer for almost the entire length of a film. I would say I went in to this unit expecting to feel my skin crawling the way it did with Mysterious Skin. Instead I have been gifted all sides of queerness: acceptance, homophobia, love, hatred, joy, pain, gentleness, violence. I want to talk for a bit about how grateful I was to see Brandon happy. His experience in this film does speak to truth, to trans experience, the complexity of being loved by a family member but not having your identity respected. Brandon’s cousin cuts his hair short for him, but can’t call him a man. Brandon gets in a bar fight and is beaming afterwards cause he got a shiner, cause random strangers didn’t clock him as trans. Brandon stays in Fall River for far longer than he should because he is riding the high of just getting to exist as himself. I know a number of friends who wanted to immediately get the hell out of dodge when they started their transition. Hell, I barely return home myself. 

Brandon does stupid boy things, he flirts with every pretty girl, he pushes his own boundaries because he wants to prove that he is a man. He smiles. He smiles often. He smiles widely. He smiles. I loved how much he smiled in this movie. I love that his life was not all suffering. This movie is kind to Brandon while still having to put him through the inevitable. 

This movie speaks to queer strength and queer fears, Brandon knew the people who raped and murdered him. They were his friends, he was their friend. They smoked together, drank beer together, and tried to dodge cops together.  John (the man who will go on to murder Brandon) was one of the first people we saw affirm Brandon’s gender identity (at least in the movie). And I think this movie is smart in how they set John and Tom up. They are friendly but they are wild, we learn that John has issues with impulse control, we see how quickly John and Tom can escalate their behavior towards aggression. 

Lana serves a reminder to trans people that we are worthy of being loved, and that there are people who will love us. I love what it says about Lana when she notices Brandon’s breasts during their first sexual encounter. When they finish she feels his lap, searching for a dick, she strokes his cheek and comments on how smooth his face is, she calls him handsome. For me this is where I think Lana figures it out, even if she isn’t told until later. 

Lana (and later on Candace) serve as reminders to me that rural doesn’t mean bigoted. It can. It absolutely can. But there are queer people everywhere, there are allies everywhere, queer people can have a life, find love, experience joy anywhere. When Brandon returns to Lincoln for his court date, his cousin Lonny asks him “Fall River? You know they hang faggots there,” and that could be true. Fall River had people like John and Tom, it also had people like Lana,  Candace, and the nurse. 

[CW: the next few paragraphs will discuss sexual assault] 

I loved that Lana was committed to Brandon as a person, she did not care what his body looked like. I loved that she refused to participate in Brandon’s humiliation. When John and Tom forcibly stripped him and tried to show Lana his vulva, she refused to look. It’s Brandon’s business, she loves Brandon, she doesn’t care, she will ease as much pain and humiliation as she possibly can. 

The rape scene was brutual and hard to watch, especially because they don’t start it right away. Brandon is being interrogated, you get the implication, and while I was writing notes to myself I was just about to write “i’m glad they spared us the scene” when they cut to Brandon’s rape sequence. I sometimes struggle with displayed assaulted scenes, especially when they are associated with real people, because I think it is important to really, fully understand the violence that was committed against Brandon. I think the brutality he was treated with is very much an important thing to sit with and understand, and I am not one to feel like people should turn away from observing acts of violence. But I also don’t know that I love watching the assault of a man who actually existed who was really beaten and gang raped, I don’t think we have any way of knowing if he’d want to show that. I don’t think we have any way of knowing if that honors his memory. 

Either way, I did find it absolutely fascinating from a characterization standpoint what happened after Brandon was raped. Because before they get confirmation that Brandon is trans, they are using Brandon’s name and pronouns, then they get the confirmation and partway through they switch to Brandon’s deadname and misgender him. When they rape him, they misgender him. When he’s raped we see him getting thrown around, slammed against the car, punched in the face, etc. he is treated with such violence, and then it is over and Tom and John and Brandon kinda go back to normal? They gently place his shirt over his torso, they call him buddy, they help him stand up, they help him get in to the car, they ask Brandon if he is okay. 

They take Brandon home, and immediately go back to affirming his identity. Like Brandon is in the bathroom, trying not to hold back or quiet down his breakdown, and John and Tom refer to him as ‘little dude’ when they start asking him if he is okay and if he will need any help. Like???? I feel like I will need to sit in that scene for a while trying to pick apart what John and Tom’s brains are doing there. Don’t get me wrong, the less I have to hear Brandon be deadnamed or misgendered the better, but it was truly a wild thing to see Brandon’s cousin deadname and misgender him all the time while still caring about and loving him, and to see Brandon’s assaulters and future murderers just slip so easily back in to masculine terminology for Brandon in this scene. 

[Assault conversation over]

We get a similar thing with Candace where she is the first person to figure out that Brandon is trans, and she is horrified. But when Brandon comes a-knocking on her door, at first Candance cannot even meet his eye but she still uses his name, and the second she picks up on the fact that something is wrong with the way his voice wavers, she faces him, she softens, she asks him what they did to him, and she lets him back in to her home, she tries to hide him to keep him safe long enough to get out of town. 

And Brandon gets another moment of peace, he and Lana have sex with Lana knowing everything about him. Knowing that he lied about his life, knowing that he has a vagina. They have another moment alone to dream, to talk about leaving Fall River, to plan to run away together. I don’t know if any of that happened in real life, but the movie at least grants Brandon one more moment of joy before his entire life is ripped away from him. 

And it happens so fast. Candace is shot and killed instantaneously. Branon is shot in the head and he dies instantaneously, and John stabs him to make sure he’s finished the job, but in an instant, with the pull of a trigger Brandon is just…gone. Twenty-one years old, a whole life ahead of him. I think movies too often grant its characters a dying monologue. They get to have a final moment before they finally, slowly succumb to their injuries. But not here. Brandon is alive one second, and dead the next. There is no moment for silence right after, there is no remorse with John or Tom, they turn against Lana, they turn against each other. They are firing bullets at random, John is stopping Tom from killing Lana or Candace’s toddler. 

I’ll tell you what though, sometimes the parallels parallel. Two days ago, my friend and I learned of the death of someone we cared about and loved, it’s a devastating loss for our household, and a devastating loss for the broader community. As far as I know, they did not die from any violent action, but they were a part of an incredibly stigmatized and disregarded community. The last few people who have passed away in my life died slowly, I was able to brace for it, but this was quick, unexpected and I say this only because seeing Brandon die so quickly, knowing he was real, knowing he had so much time taken from him, that knowledge just wrapped itself right around the rest of my grief for the week. I had a delayed emotional reaction to this movie, it took a couple minutes of silence afterwards to feel the blow, but I think having watched this when I did, Brandon Teena’s story will live in a different, deeper part of me than most of the films I’ve watched so far. 

Favorite Moment

There isn’t one scene that really stands out to me, cause everything was so strong. I feel like my favorite moment is maybe right at the beginning when Brandon looks in the mirror after his haircut and sees himself and you can just see the happiness take root in his body. 

Favorite Quote

“You’re so handsome” 

Lana says this after she and Brandon have sex for the first time. I talked about it a bit above, but I think she figured out that Brandon was trans here, and I see her calling him handsome as affirmation.

Final Score

9/10

This was a fantastic film with incredible acting.

#bengiyo queer cinema syllabus #queer cinema syllabus #boys don't cry #boys don't cry (1999) #brandon teena #unit 4: heartbreak alley #apologies for skipping Strange Fruit y'all I went to watch it and I can't find it online so I will need to scour the library for a copy #i do hope I will be able to watch it #wka long post

[tippenfunkaport]

Introducing MAYbe I’ll Make This, the easiest month of prompts you’ve ever participated in happening this May 2023.

It’s a chance to share all those ideas you’ve been toying with that you might draw or write someday with no pressure to actually commit to finishing anything!

Participation can be as little as sharing a few words or a single sentence or as involved as a sketch or plot summary, it’s up to you! 

What’s the point?

To fill our fandom tags with fun new ideas and stimuli to get everyone’s creative juices flowing. For fan creators ourselves, it gives us a chance to talk about our ideas with no pressure to deliver. And who knows, hopefully seeing people excited about our ideas might give us extra inspiration and motivation to maybe even work on them someday!

Here’s how it works:

Throughout May, post anything from a few words to a snippet from an idea you’ve been kicking around that you MAY draw or write someday and tag the related fandoms, if any. (Ideas that you've started, have actively in progress or have even started but abandoned are also welcome!) A few sentences about a fic you might write, a sketch you’re still figuring out, or even a long infodump about the AU of your heart, share as much or as little as you want!. It’s not a commitment to make anything, just a fun excuse to talk about your ideas. 

Don’t have any ideas of your own? No problem! You can still participate by boosting the ideas that others post, asking questions and expressing your excitement about the ideas that appeal to you. 

Anyone from any fandom is welcome to participate as well as original writers so please spread the word!

We’ve got 30 days worth of prompts to get you started that you can interpret anyway you like… or ignore entirely and do your own thing. Do all 30, pick and choose, do them out of order, whatever you want! The point is just to have fun and share your ideas! 

That’s it! Just a super chill, low effort way for us all to celebrate those ideas taking up space in our brains that we aren’t quite ready to commit to making yet (or maybe ever). 

Notes

Participants retain all rights to their ideas and first dibs on the writing / drawing of them.

Want feedback on your ideas? Encourage brainstorming? Happy to let someone else take your idea and write it themselves? Add a note to that effect to your post so people know what kind of interactions are welcome. 

Please be supportive of others' ideas and keep overly negative opinions to yourself (especially if they did not ask for feedback). If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all!

You’re welcome to tag your posts with “MAYbe I’ll Make This” or link back to this post to explain the challenge but your host (me) won’t be sharing every post related to this challenge. This is just something I wanted to do for my own purposes to share all the ideas I may never get a chance to write but I’m opening the prompts list to anyone who might like to do the same. 

Questions? Drop me an ask! 

May 2023 Prompts

No Plot Just Vibes

Lives In My Head Rent Free

Sometimes One Must Torture The Blorbos For Enrichment

Completely Self Indulgent

I Just Want Them To Be Happy 😭

Canon Divergent

Inspired By A Movie

Galaxy Brain Of Me, Honestly

No One Wants This But Me

All The Tropes!

Where We’re Going, We Don’t Need Canon

Idea Fueled By Spite

Shameless Excuse For Hurt / Comfort

Inspired By A TV Show

Slaps Idea: This Baby Can Fit So Much Projection!

Yes, I’m Cringe But I’m Free

One! More! Time! 

Totally OOC But Hear Me Out… 

Role Swap

Inspired By Someone Else’s Au

I Hurt Myself With This Idea

Old Tropes, New Tricks

Pretend I’m Good Enough To Pull This Off

It’s Really Just All About This One Scene… 

Crack Treated Seriously 

Seriousness Treated Like Crack 

I’ve Actually Started Working On This

Yes It’s Been Done But Not By Me So

More Of What You’d Call A Character Study

Casually Slides in My OC

Inspired By A Book

#fandom event #may 2023 prompts #prompts #writing prompt #art prompt #spop #the owl house #stranger things #rwby #marvel #star wars #star trek #supernatural #miraculous ladybug #amphibia #tmnt #atla #legend of korra #loz #lotr #batman #ted lasso #Succession #btvs #the hunger games #dracula #motu #shera #heman #mlp

[princessjung]

I saw your ask on marshmallowprotection and i totally agree! I am partial to suit & se saeran being sort of brash, as much as i love how sweet the others are, i think it brings something fun to their dynamic

GE Saeran is my favourite of all but I won't deny myself some inner Suit coming out of him! That's where you really knows that he's made up of both Ray and Suit Saeran's experience and personalities despite people loving his sweeter side most times.

They really tend to forget that he can be a lil shit if he wants to lol. He can tease and torment the hell out of you while still keeping those innocent smile on his face. That's how confident he can be once he figured out what kind of man he wants to be for himself.

But if we're talking about Suit Saeran as he is, for me he's definitely the most interesting in terms of his thought process and actions throughout the game. There's just so much layers on why he did this and that or feel this and that. And I know it's easy to dismiss him as someone who's mean and angry all the time if you only look on the surface instead of trying to dive deeper into his way of thinking.

I've been there, going back and forth on what to feel about his existence until I come to realization that even he himself struggle to understand what he really want and his purpose of living.

On the other hand, SE Saeran is someone I can deeply resonate with. His entire innermost thoughts in the Secret Ending... it still breaks my heart till this day because I know exactly how it felt like to... feel the way he did. I also know that kind of thought would still linger inside him even post-SE.

Though, there's just something so inspiring about feeling like you've given up on the world but still have that teeny tiny hope within you that maybe, someday, you can finally take a deep breath and it won't hurt as much anymore. That's the kind of person I think of when I look at SE Saeran.

The way he express his care is more delicate than the rest but it doesn't mean he doesn't care. He noticed the smallest shift in everything and while he couldn't care less about most things, he did care about his brother's and your wellbeing despite the struggle on putting it on display. You just have to read between the lines to know you're among the the very few people he gives a damn about after everything he put you through. Partly out of guilt but also because you're his first friend.

Alas, I'm glad we both can appreciate all side of Saeran because they're all unique and loved in their own way!

I'm sorry this is kinda long hshsh I just can't shut the hell up when it comes to him THERE'S JUST TOO MANY LOVE INSIDE ME FOR THIS MAN. And my apologies for the grammar mistakes and all that since English isn't my first language. Feel free to share your thoughts if you like and I hope you have a nice day/night ahead!

#mystic messenger #choi saeran #se saeran #suit saeran #ge saeran

[compassionatereminders]

Hi Kat. I just need a safe space to vent, please.

Over the last few days I lost a couple of people who I thought were good online friends. I'm having difficulty comprehending the scope of how it all happened.

We were all roleplay partners together.

They're accusing me of vague posting about them when I did not, and then they outright blocked me without even letting me talk to them first. They also claimed I was pressuring them to reply to our roleplay threads when I never did. I approached them one time in our months of writing together, which was few days ago, and communicated with them openly, asking if they still wanted to write together after feeling doubt. I opened up to them because I thought we had a good rapport and they often expressed how important communication was to them, as it is to me. The conversation went well, or so I thought, and they even told me that things were okay and we ended on a good note.

Next day, I get a message out of the blue saying they don't appreciate that I "pressured" them and apparently I vague posted about them (they're referring to a PSA I made a few days prior about issues throughout the whole community and expectations I have on my blog) and then blocked me before I could respond.

As if this wasn't surprising enough, come to find out I've been blocked by a number of other people that they've associated with, so I believe they've gone a spread rumors about me. So, let me get this right. They get to falsely accuse me of vaguing about them, lie to my face about us being cool, then turn around and spread rumors about me to people I don't even know and who don't even know my side of the story, and I get blocked entirely for it?

On top of that - for months they have been asking for donations because they are homeless, and I - as their friend - have been sending them money. I sent a substantial amount just a week ago, which they happily took and were grateful for. And now this? I don't regret helping someone in need, but it's like a punch to the face to give money to a friend, only for them to turn around and slam the door in your face at the drop of a hat, and then to spread lies about you behind your back to total strangers to boot.

I'm just... I'm deeply hurt and angry and feel totally helpless. I'm also worried about how this will affect my standing in the community, but at the same time I can't bring myself to care too much for people who have so little care for my side of things. It's like being bullied, but I'm way too old for this shit. Why is tumblr culture like this? They couldn't even be bothered to extend the same courtesy to me that I gave to them. So much for friendship.

Anyway. Whether or not this gets posted, thank you for opening your inbox and letting me vent.

I totally get that you are hurt and angry, but I think it's important to note that this is not actually about you and your actual actions towards them. This is their personal issues escalating to a point where it is hurting other people, and it's unfortunate and unfair, but it is not a reflection of anything YOU did wrong. This is all them and their issues.

#chat with kat

[heich0e]

wait if you said that you're gonna stop the oopsy baby series 'for now' are you implying that you're gonna continue it at some point in the future or....? 🤨

I've gotten way more asks about this than I expected, and I won't reply to them all to spare your dash (since they mainly address the same things) but in the interest of transparency here are the highlights:

1. Are you going to continue the mini megumi series? /post any other parenthood fics?

I honestly don't know. I was going to add more to this reply but I've just been staring at the screen for like 10 minutes.

2. Why?

A couple of reasons, but if I'm being really honest I saw a lot of mutuals (who I sincerely like and respect, present tense) posting about how much they dislike parenthood/pregnancy fics and how sick they make them feel and it just didn't feel good.

I want to be really really clear that I TRULY and wholeheartedly believe that everyone is entitled to like what they like, and dislike what they dislike. But the problem is that when you express those opinions while disparaging the people whose opinion are different from yours, or if you choose to be vocal about your dislike of something when you see someone enjoying it, it can be really hurtful. It made me feel uncomfortable about continuing the series if I knew people felt that way and I was possibly upsetting them.

3. Is it because of the "exclusionary" ask?

No! This all happened before I received (or at least saw) that ask. And while I do completely and totally understand where that anon was coming from, and I support them 100% in sharing that very valid criticism with me, the fic probably wouldn't have changed because of it—though I would have started putting a tag in the updates alerting readers to the fact that Kota is described at multiple points throughout the story as being identical to Megumi in case it was sensitizing/alienating/in any way offensive to them.

The inspiration for the fic was that a child who is virtually identical to him shows up at his doorstep, and the entire series is predicated on that idea. I should have made that much clearer at the outset and I really apologize for my oversight and to anyone who I hurt by being careless in that way. I have since gone back and edited each instalment to feature a warning about this in the header, and hope that people who will feel excluded by this plot point can make whatever decision feels best for them in regards to engaging with the fic!

4. I don't like you.

Me neither.

5. I love parenthood fics and I think you should keep writing them.

I also like parenthood fics, and I think they're fun to write! And this is coming from someone who isn't even sure they ever want to have kids themselves. But sort of nodding back to point 2, I don't want to post any kind of fic that people who i consider friends begin vocally posting about disliking. Especially because I really don't follow that many people, so when every third post on my dash is dunking on the trope I'm actively posting about, it just makes me feel kind of sad and unwelcome.

This is absolutely NOT intended to be an indirect/vague about those moots, and if you're reading this I hope you know that I mean that from the BOTTOM of my heart. They are JUST as entitled to this space as I am, and I am in no way at all trying to impose myself and my opinions onto them. I just don't know how to filter anti-trope content from my user experience without inadvertently also filtering the content I DO want to see, and if I'm being honest I just don't think it's not worth losing mutuals who I really like over.

I'm saying all of this with nothing but love, and I hope that no one is too upset about it. I'm sorry if you were enjoying the series and now aren't sure about its future. I'm sorry if me expressing the way I was hurt makes you feel bad too. I'm really logging off now for a bit, and I hope you all take care of yourselves!! Be good, sending love, talk soon <3

#liv got mail #i apologize if i'm being dramatic! life is already hard and i just don't need to feel this way about a hobby! #kiss kiss kiss kiss #love u big #tw parenthood #tw pregnancy

[leviadraws]

helloo i must ask you. your thoughts on yuki (the dra one)

Oh boy, he's a tough one for me, so I'll try to splruge some thoughts. (Sorry I've been slow with asks lately, I promise I'm working on them, also I really need to rewatch DRA at some point but I am tired atm so there may be some inaccuracies).

(under the cut, DRA and some SDRA2 spoilers throughout).

So DRA Maeda is honestly my favourite protagonist in canon and another. Due to the whole reveal at the end and the divine luck factor there's quite a lot of layers to him that you don't think about at a surface level but then you scratch it a little and it's all like "hey this is kinda clever" whether it was intentional or not. But a lot of that would be talking about Utsuro, not Maeda so I'm not really gonna cover it much.

I will say I do love the system headcanons that have been covered by yourself, Nikei, and Dragon (I was going to link posts but jesus finding posts on tumblr is so goddmn hard). I haven't researched the topic well enough to comfortably talk about it myself, and I think you guys have done a pretty thorough job already.

I would like to talk about something that has always bothered me a little, and that's how Maeda/Utsuro are portrayed in the flashback. During the flashback and when Kinjo references their time at Hope's peak, he's referred to as being more Utsuro. But then that doesn't line up with the picture found of the class, where he's clearly appearing as Maeda. I'd like to think that they existed together before the real Yuuki's memories were implanted onto him.

(This is 99% me wanting to have both Maeda and Utsuro in pre-canon haha, but it is interesting). As I said before I've not done adequate research and I don't want to accidentally offend, happy to remove this section entirely if necessary.

So I like him a lot since he's kinda just a kid, yanno? He gets annoyed with the other classmates, he's downright mean sometimes (he's kinda brutal to Satsuki in her FTEs, iirc), and he's kinda bitter in places (him refusing to help Kinjo in chapter 3). It just makes him feel more, real? If that makes sense.

And like in trials, since none of the trials are that hard that we don't get totally baffled, him leading doesn't seem that off. The "smarter" kids of the class are either unhinged (Kinjo) holding information for no reason (Rei), underused by Linuj (Kakeru, Kanata, Kinji), or have a chapter 5 plot device in their head (Mikako). I'd probably want someone like Maeda to lead trials too.

I guess there's that kinda lingering thing that due to divine luck, any leap of logic would always be correct, but it didn't feel jarring since he'd always come across as kinda pragmatic. That and the leaps in logic aren't the level of crazy that SDRA2 chapter 2 and 3 had.

He's also flawed, he doesn't always say the right thing. He doesn't give out hope speeches (that I recall at least, I could be wrong on that one), he succumbs to the motive in chapter 4 just as much as the others do. He holds grudges over the course of the game, he's devastated over Kinjo's actions in chapter 5. Actually his relationship with all three survivors + Taira are really good.

I'm not hugely fond of some of the FTEs with him tho, I sometimes get the impression that they were written earlier? He feels more like the generic protagonist is some of them. Rei's feels like one of the worst offenders of this, like earlier in the game Maeda doesn't really put up with Kinjo's or Rei's bullshit in their attitude to others, but in her FTE he puts up with her shit to hear her story? Idk it felt weird to me.

I do however love his interactions with most of the rest of the cast in the story itself, mainly Kinjo because kshkjefnad they are disasters and I love them so much.

One little thing, I really would've liked to see him snap a little more in canon. There's obviously the part with Mikako, but like so many fucked up things happen and there were like at least three other opportunities off the top of my head?. Can you imagine the slight change in his expression, but his whole vibe just becomes so much darker and the reactions of the people around him?. Kinjo and Akane's reactions (both pre and post chapter 5) would've been so interesting.

Imma probs get on that rewatch now and realise that I missed a load of stuff and feel very silly. But hey, here's a tired mess of thoughts that yous are all free to rip apart and tell me I'm wrong haha.

Also give him a hoodie he a tired boi let him be comfy.

#ask loz #I'm really sorry I feel like I've said a lot but also not a lot at all? #I don't think I'm gonna put this one in the game tags #As Maeda has a lot of discussion already and I don't believe I'm really adding anything here #yuki maeda #but tysm for the ask

[harrumphingtons]

Alright, theories for tomorrow's episode... this got long, so this post is entirely just theories about the Jamie plotline.

The title "Mom City" is obviously a play on Man City which is making me associate the mom that will appear in this episode with Man City/Manchester in general so... Jamie's mum appearance?? Considering that this kinda has to be the episode with the Jamie's childhood bedroom appearance in it, I'm pretty sure we're gonna get to meet Jamie's mum!

As @gottagobackintime (sorry to have tagged you if I'm not supposed to do that, still kinda new to tumblr and I'm not sure if I should tag a person if I'm mentioning/linking one of their posts?) pointed out last week in this post, 'mom' is an American and definitely not British way of addressing one's mother, and it just have easily could have been called 'Mum City' if Jamie's mum is the only Appearance Of A Mother, so I'm guessing, like most people, that Ted's "unexpected guest" (episode blurb) is going to be his own mom. Fathers and sons have been a very obvious recurring theme throughout this whole show, and two of the most prominent father-son relationships in the show have been Ted and Jamie with their fathers, so it'll be pretty sweet to see the both of them interact with their moms this episode, instead.

Ok, so Roy and Keeley are going to be worried about Jamie. My first thought was that something's going to happen to his mum, considering the episode title. But it's more likely that his doesn't-deserve-to-be-called-a-dad is going to show up again, especially considering we (and Jamie, probably) never got any closure/follow-up after the Wembley locker room scene in 2.08 "Man City" -- which, by the way, that episode title kinda mirrors "Mom City", so that's another reason to assume Tartt Sr. is going to show up again. And, Jamie was (I think?) playing at Wembley last episode for the international matches, which is, again, the sight of the last know Tartt Sr. sighting, so... does that count as foreshadowing???

Is it just me, or does Jamie literally look like he's about to cry in the promo pic/episode thumbnail? Ok, I've thought he looks like he's about to cry many times when he didn't end up crying, so maybe he just has glassy eyes, or something but. Still. I've got a feeling we might get a Jamie tear or two this episode. We're definitely getting an emotional scene I myself am I going to cry while watching, though.

I'm assuming that Richmond is going to finally beat Man City this episode. I'm really hoping that Jamie gets to put in the winning goal, because I kind of feel like narratively that just makes sense. I don't know. I like the idea of it. And, correct me if I'm wrong, but we still haven't scene Jamie make a goal on screen this season! Considering his England call up, I'm guessing he's probably scored a couple off screen, but I also don't know much about football so maybe I'm totally off. But anyways, I really hope we do get to see him score a goal at least once this season, and hopefully more than once!

Adding on to the last one, I'm trying to figure why, exactly Jamie would be doing a press conference with Roy, and so far the only thing I can think of is he scored some super amazing winning goal and they want him to talk about it. Maybe he's pointing at Roy, like, "his extra training is how I got here"? But he also looks, if not about to cry, at least pretty upset in that picture, so I really don't know what's going on there.

My other, not Jamie-related theories for "Mom City" are here.

#ted lasso apple tv #tl #ted lasso s3 #ted lasso spoilers #ted lasso s3 spoilers #jamie tartt #ted lasso #roy kent #ted lasso speculation

[gren-arlio]

Are all of these gonna be character specialized? Maybe, not sure myself.

Welcome to Episode 6 of (Tottemo) Waku Puyo Extras. (Feat. A lot of Kikimora.)

(Yeah, this time it's not from the Waku Puyo Manga, but from the Totally Puyo Puyo Manga. Or the Tottemo Puyo Puyo Manga, either name works. I swear the Waku in the title is losing more relevance as time goes on.)

Hello, one and all, it's that guy who translates a niche video game here again, and welcome to Part 6 of (Waku) Puyo Extras, the filler section where I ramble about something Puyo related and give some old evidence to back it up. I know I'm a little late, but hey, that's high school for ya.

If you've been keeping up with this filler show of mine, you know that I typically post about a character, have a small video to translate, and...idk something wacky. And today, you'd be a little mistaken. Unfortunately, due to time restraints, I wasn't able to really...do a short video. My apologies. I did say that my schedule would be really messed up due to school, and now I'm finally feeling the effects.

To make up for it, this'll what we cover today:

Some stuff about Kikimora because why not, she's been in so many videos and episodes that she deserves it. I'll speak about things like her origin, Waku Puyo Dungeon: The Video Game, and the Waku Puyo Manga.

Talking about a Disc System Game. At least the one that has Kikimora.

Talk a bit about the Tottemo Puyo Puyo Manga. The thing itself mostly shows odd Puyo SUN characters, so people like Lagnus are there.

From now on, expect a lot more inconsistent posting. Obviously I'll post still, just...not as often. Hope you understand.

With those precautions and tales told, hope you enjoy.

-----

Ah, Kikimora Lore.

You don't exactly expect a lot from this character, and frankly, I don't blame you, but I'm here today to speak about our (probably not) favorite maid in Puyo, Kikimora. If you've seen my posts, you noticed that she appears quite often in translations and random stuff in general, even though she's usually a minor NPC. Won't be covering every game she's in, but I'll mention a couple.

So, what're her origins?

Well, it's not SUN, actually. Surprisingly, it's Madou Monogatari: Michikusa Ibun, released in 1994. Here...she's just kinda an enemy. Nothing more, nothing less. Quite a simple introduction.

Now, we reach the introduction that most people know her for, Puyo Puyo SUN, which was released in 1996. Here, you meet her in Arle's storyline, where she's just cleaning, as per usual. Why outside is anyone's guess, but after seeing Arle walk along the sidewalk, she legitimately sweeps her off the ground, and then runs around with her, who's in shock. I mean, I'd be shocked too.

So, 2 introductions in and she's put...nothing special in these, to be frank. Maybe she really isn't that gre-

Holy shit I'm actually speaking about Waku Waku Puyo Puyo Dungeon again.

As the local Waku Puyo guy, fortunately and also unfortunately, there's...actually a good bit to speak about with her, which is fairly surprising.

First, she's in every single route, and you don't exactly fight her. She's an usher who helps guide people around the area and tell them what to do and where to go. Here... she actually does have a good amount of character compared to back then.

(Image of her and the entire map of the game, featured in the games manual.)

Here, she partially retains her cleanliness personality, but she's now awfully kind about it, I'd assume it'd be for professional purposes but still, power to her. She isn't as...angry, as her past self, (I'd count Puyo-N because she did get really upset that Arle called her old.) and even in the Waku Puyo Manga, she's still very much kind to Rulue when she runs into her, merely giving directions of where she saw Satan.

And back to the game itself, she's a little more than just happy and angry, she thankfully unlocked more of the personality skill tree and got the ability to be sad as well. Throughout Schezo's storyline, there's moments in times he calls Kiki useless for not being able to help her, and as anyone would, gets really sad about hearing that, and in some situations, starts to cry, causing Schezo to apologize. It's fairly interesting how they basically gave a character with little screentime back then not only the screentime she got, but to expand on it to feel multilayered as well? Nothing short of impressive.

The final game I wish to cover is a bit of a niche one; Kikimora's Clean-Up.

Usually with Disc System games, there's a good bit to talk about, but unfortunately, this ain't one of the games. The game stars Kikimora, and your goal is to...clean the floors. Simple enough, while having a Pac-Man like feel to it.

There's several floors and the goal is to get all the green, icky stuff out while avoiding enemies. You can launch your broom at them, taking them out, but you won't be able to clean until you get the broom again. Getting hit makes you lose 30 seconds, lose all your time, you lose a life, and if no lives, game over. It's actually more difficult than it seems.

Finally, after a lot of floors and possibly dying, you finally face the final boss of this game: Black Kikimora, who makes the floor dirty.

After beating her, congrats, you've beaten the one game Kikimora is the protagonist in. Give yourself a pat on the back and maybe some lunch.

Unfortunately this game doesn't have much in terms of lore, but it's an enjoyable game nevertheless. Here's a link of some gameplay.

Now how about the Tottemo Puyo Puyo Manga? What is it?

I'm glad you asked. To compensate for being unable to publish a video for y'all, I decided to speak a little bit about this goofy manga. So what's it about?

Unlike the world of Waku Puyo, this doesn't have a full storyline but rather sporadic storylines that have absolutely nothing to do with each other. They're purely on the comedic side. As well, the designs that were chosen, along with the artstyle itself, are based on Puyo SUN, what with how the characters' designs are drawn most notably Arle, Schezo, and Lagnus.

Since the storylines don't connect and are all separate, characters can pop in and out like nothing ever happened, or just...randomly waltz up like Lagnus himself did. (Which I cannot show because 10 image limit.)

Here, featured is Kikimora getting an injury from making a mistake, and Arle heals her before telling to take a break for half the day, SHOCKING Kiki. She starts saying how some areas aren't clean, and Arle volunteers to help, which makes Kiki beyond happy, and leads to us getting Arle in a maid suit trying her best to clean.

Unfortunately, due to that said 10 image limit, I cannot post a lot at once. (Wish it was like 15 instead,) but honestly, I'd recommend it. While you might not understand what's properly going on, (Believe me, I'm there to a point.) the visuals themselves kinda make up for it, and hey, if you do translate them, there's a 90% chance there's an incredibly silly and funny story to go along with it, like Schezo somehow making an amusement park. (My favorite Foreshadowing; The ones in gag mangas.) I'll post a link of some of the books here.

Hopefully this'll suffice. Again, my apologies for not really posting a video, I'll have one done sooner or later (aka about 2 weeks.)

Here's the final 2 images I've been saving up.

(Minor context: Kikimora kinda lured Arle into a job before surprising her with a party.)

With this, that'll be all this time.

See you next time.

#Youtube #arle puyo puyo #japanese translation #madou monogatari #waku waku puyo puyo dungeon #puyo puyo #sega #sega saturn #arle nadja #schezo puyo puyo #rulue puyo puyo #puyo #kikimora puyo puyo #puyoposting #informative #Disc system #puyo puyo sun

[aurorawest]

⭐

So of course I reblogged this writing meme, didn't save it in a separate tab, and then let days pass before I responded to this! I think the star meant I can talk about a passage I like in a fic, so:

Stephen’s eyes had gone wide, and the laughing-crying feeling was back. “What if this is like Titanic?” Loki demanded, flinging an arm out. “The ship’s gone down, and we’re trapped in a freezing wasteland, and only one of us is going to fit onto that stupid door—” Stephen grabbed Loki’s upper arms before he could spin out entirely. “Okay, well, first of all, that door was obviously big enough for both of them, and second of all…” The look on his face softened. “Second of all, we’re both getting out of this.” Loki’s chest heaved. His shoulder hurt so much. And he was cold. The fire kept guttering as the wind moaned down the chimney. And it wasn’t much of a fire, anyway. “Seeing the actress at the gala was a sign. The Norns telling us something.” “You don’t believe in that shit.” “Maybe I do!” “You don’t,” Stephen repeated firmly. “I know you don’t. Odinson, I’m not drowning myself so you can float to safety on a door that I could totally have climbed onto with you.” When Loki let out an unwilling laugh, Stephen squeezed his arms weakly. “We’re big kids, right? The Sorcerer Supreme and the God of Stubbornness. It’s going to take way more than Jotunheim to kill us.”

Honesty time: when Loki steals Kate Winslet's champagne at the Met Gala, it was just a throwaway funny moment. The further I wrote though, the more the idea of Titanic's climactic moment of self-sacrifice felt like maybe a theme in this story—or, more accurately, it felt like subverting it was turning into a theme. Which meant actually, I had FORESHADOWING on my hands! Go me.

Sacrifice looms really large in both Loki's and Stephen's stories, with, obviously, Loki canonically sacrificing himself in Infinity War, but also throughout my series. A Full and Factual Account of Asgard is the last time he straight up sacrifices his life (or tries to), but Here, Here and Here has him sacrificing his freedom, and the final arc for his character is him sacrificing his happiness, ostensibly because it's better for Stephen to avoid involvement with him. Then there's Stephen, whose canon story revolves around sacrifice (in Doctor Strange and Infinity War...we don't talk about MoM here).

So here I have both of these characters who love to fling themselves in the path of Bad Stuff. I really love the idea of Stephen, who trapped himself in a time loop to die hundreds (thousands?) of times, then watched hundreds of millions of Thanos Snaps, telling Loki, no, we're both getting through this. I literally just saw a post the other day on tumblr about this, which I should try to hunt down. But yeah, I was going for a maturation of both of their characters—Stephen demanding a way forward for both of them, which is of course a metaphor for their romantic relationship. No one has to die; they can be together.

Also, I just think it's funny to have Stephen be one of the people who insists Jack could have fit on the door.

Thank you so much!!

#lowkeyed1 #ps i'm not a titanic fan at all #which you might assume i am based on how often it comes up in this fic haha #loki #stephen strange #tgmaiof

[adrianicsea]

First of all congrats on the top surgery! I read ur post about how u overcame ur fears in order to be happy and it kinda made me consider some things for myself...I've thought about chest binding but I'm nervous about it bc I know it's a big investment if I don't like it but if I do like it it's like opening the floodgates, is there an in-between step to see if I'm serious about it? If u don't wanna answer that's cool, just wish u a good recovery and happy trans life!🤍🩵🩷

hi there! thank you very much for the well-wishes, i really appreciate that 🥹❤️

and thank you, also, for trusting me to talk about this! i know it can be really scary to start considering transition, or even just to consider binding— like you said, it’s hard not to start thinking about the WHOLE thing all at once after you’ve made that initial realization. i think it’s helpful to keep in mind that there’s no one correct or linear path of “steps to take,” and you don’t need to figure it all out at once. if you find that you like binding, or that you don’t like it, it’s okay to sit with either of those and think about them for awhile!

you are correct in saying that binding can be expensive— most of the good, reliable brands run between $40 and $60, last i checked. if you’re small enough, one cheaper/more accessible thing you can try is layering on a couple of sports bras, putting the first one on normally and wearing the second one backwards! this is what i did throughout high school, since i was closeted and not in a position to safely get a binder for myself.

another option you could try is TransTape, which is a modified KT tape brand designed for binding and tucking! it’s about $30 USD for one roll, and it can be more low-profile than a binder, but there is kind of a learning curve in learning how to safely apply and remove it. again, this will likely work better the smaller your chest is, but it IS a nice alternative to wearing binders that i don’t see people discuss as often.

finally, i know there are several groups online that help coordinate binder exchanges, trades, or giveaways for people who can’t afford a binder, can’t safely order one for themselves, or for people to get rid of binders that they no longer need. you could try to search around for a group like this— or, if you live in a big enough city, there might be a physical lgbt resource center that could help you!

if i may, i’d like to finish by saying that you don’t have to worry about the whole thing just yet! i know firsthand that it’s VERY hard not to start down an entire spiral of thinking about What Happens Now when you’re first considering that you might be interested in transition, but sometimes thinking about all of it at once can be more paralyzing than empowering. it’s totally okay just to see how you feel about binding first and go from there!

i’d also like to add that i know both transmasc folks who don’t bind or don’t want surgery, AND people who like to bind but don’t consider themselves transmasc. so like… in the end, it’s all okay, as long as you feel happy and comfortable in the choices you’re making. but if you’re curious at all, i really encourage you to give it a shot, if only so that you’ll know for sure! don’t die wondering, as the vintage lgbt pins always say.

if you’d like to talk more about this, my askbox is always open!!

#asks #anonymous

[captainderyn]

*CYBERPUNK 2077 ENDING SPOILERS*

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I really cannot decide what I want to do with V’s ending in Cyberpunk for my personal canon.

Because, in game, the ending I did and chose seems to be the “best” ending. V gets to stay in her own body for however long she has left, she gets out of Night City, she doesn’t lose Judy. She’s with her found family. Johnny encourages her, in a way, to take her body back.

But idk, something about it doesn’t feel right for the way my V has evolved throughout the story. None of the endings truly click tbqh. For a few reasons that I’m going to ramble about, probably not super coherently.

*All of this is about what I think works for my V, not how it Should Be btw, below a cut for length*

(I’ll probably toss the tag “captainderyn plays cyberpunk” on these types of posts I don’t want in the main tag, if anyone wants to not see Cyberpunk content)

1. I think Judy needs to leave V.

Maybe its because that’s the ending I was first exposed to before I played the game myself. Ideally you’d think them getting to stay together would fit, as that’s usually what I go for but...it’s just not clicking.

They have a great dynamic, they get along like a house on fire. To Judy, V is fiery, has a sense of humor like a whip, is a little dumb like an excitable golden retriever, and makes her feel safe and secure for awhile. She’s so intensely V in a Night City that tries to squash anyone who dares to live that vibrantly. And, V sticks with her through the worst days of her life after what happened to Evelyn. Which is the thing.

V starts to change, as the Relic’s malfunctions get worse. She starts adopting mannerisms, ways of speaking, that aren’t entirely her. They’re Johnny. The cadence of her voice is off sometimes, she starts wearing different clothes--that ratty replica Samurai jacket Rogue found for her. She starts smoking more--the old V never would’ve touched a cigarette with a ten foot pole. And I think those subtle shifts raise alarm bells, raise some walls for Judy. Especially after the incident while diving and seeing exactly what V’s time running out looks like.

Because while Panam’s messages, who is a dear friend to V, are very ride or die, with V to the end no matter what, Judy seems to...back off a bit for lack of better word. I think so soon after losing Evelyn so traumatically, Judy is able to stomach the thought of losing V. And because of that I’m not convinced she can totally open up with V. I think there’s always an element of being held just a tad at arms length. So when shit starts to get really serious with V, as her clock is ticking down and she’s trying to get to Mikoshi...I think Judy taps out. I think that need to get out of Night City that she talks about takes over, those walls come snapping up as a protection, and she’s out. V can’t be another Evelyn to her. 

2. I cannot for the life of me figure out what I want from V. I know she’s kind of trauma-bonded to Johnny at this point, she really can’t imagine being alone in her own head after this long with the scrappy asshole stalking her thoughts. I still think she’d take her own body back, at Johnny’s insistence. But I don’t see her doing that final mission with the Crystal Palace either. I guess I just kind of see her...taking the days as they come in Night City? Living as best she can? I don’t know. Leaving Night City also feels wrong for her.

*Frustrated noises* I! Don’t ! Know! What! I! Want! To! Do!

#captainderyn plays cyberpunk #oc: V #I think I put a liittttlee too much cinematic daydreaming into ceilings #and now anything that doesnt follow the plot I made up in my head to that song doesn't feel right #and that involves Judy leaving V and V dying eventually

[rosebury-archives]

CalmWriMo Log November 2nd - Wait, wasn’t I supposed to be calm?

first log, let’s go! I’m hoping to remember to do this more often throughout the month because i loooove talking and loooooove talking about my writing also. so let’s get through this!

writing day started out great with a very quick 315 word drabble i did in my ten min break at work. a little thing about Leia, which is fun, and i’ll probably post it some of these days, even though it’s just a very very quick couple of words.

i use StimuWrite most of the time and decided to get myself a new theme pack. which is fantastic, by the way, and i really do hope they release more themes soon. absolute sucker for that stuff. the type writer noises help me focus so much and they do have a nanowrimo sale going on so i might as well grab another one of the themes if i feel like it. i think that app is single-handedly carrying me through this month

finished chapter 13! i wrote 792 words of the total 4119 this chapter currently has. the formatting is definitely wonky as fuck and i really do need to figure out how to make it look a little nicer, but the words are all there, and that’s good!

finished chapter 14 as well? somehow? im telling you, it’s the fucking stimuwrite. anyways so for the first time in my life i finished an entire chapter in one evening. it is “only” 4501 words long, but that’s good, that’s fine. i don’t want to stress myself too much about irregular chapter lengths. i’m also really glad that i have a couple of chapters in my backlog again since i am posting as i’m writing.

so on day two, in total, i’ve written: 5608 words. this is one of the most productive writing days i’ve had in a while!

now my goals for tomorrow:

since i’ve done a LOT of writing today, i’ll let myself take it slower. first priority is to edit chapter 12 as soon as i get home from work so i can post it, and then i can decide what i’m more in the mood for? i would love to get into the flow and start with chapter 15, which is gonna be a very exciting one to write for me, but i also think it’s time to focus more on the self care aspect of this whole thing, and just do some chill video game farming while listening to an audio book.

i also wanna look through the calmwrimo tag and check out what other people are up to! ive already been lurking the whole day, it’s nice to have some insight into the writerblr community!

overall i’m already. really happy with my work. just the fact that i have a specific goal in mind is motivating me to sit down and write, and i do actually love pushing myself to write just a little more, and a little more, and just a tiny little bit more. this is gonna be fun! i’m having fun! this is good! eek!

#calmwrimo #calmwrimo 2023 #nanowrimo #nanowrimo 2023 #writeblr

[merp-blerp]

A Hasty, Overblown Lyrical Analysis of Hozier’s “Francesca” Beacause I’m Currently Obsessed With It

Just like my song analysis of Hozier’s “Arsonist’s Lullabye”, this is just my personal interpretation. You are fully allowed to have your own. And I acknowledge that I could be “wrong,” in the sense that Hozier could have a totally different aim with this song than what I mention here, and that is beyond fine. Let’s all just be respectful.

Note: I will be referring to the voice of this song as “the singer”, not Hozier. Much like how when you talk about a poem you refer to “the speaker”, not the author of the poem. I don’t want to pry into Hozier’s personally feelings when I obviously don’t know him, so whatever I say about “the singer” it’s only referring to the person reflected in the song, not Hozier himself. We genuinely respect the artist we like in this house.

I’ll do my best, but I certainly don’t consider myself particularly amazing at lyrical analysis, I just like to try for fun.

Let’s begin!

“Do you think I'd give up // That this might've shook the love from me // Or that I was on the brink? // How could you think, darling, I'd scare so easily? // Now that it's done // There's not one thing that I would change // My life was a storm, since I was born // How could I fear any hurricane?”

It seems like the singer has been through a very turbulent experience with the person they are talking to, presumably a lover. We’ll assume it’s a romantic lover for the remainder of this analysis, but it’s worth noting that it could be any kind of loved one. This lover seemed to assume that in the aftermath of this experience that the singer was going to leave them after such a crushing blow to their lives. The speaker is shocked or down right offended by their lover thinking these things. They reveal that they were not thinking such things. They don’t regret the relationship and they aren't leaving them. The singer’s life has been turbulent since they were young. Maybe they were born into a hard life or something along those lines. Therefore whatever trouble was thrown at the singer and their lover means nothing in comparison to their entire life. Likely just another thing to add to the list.

I’ll skip the pre-chorus, chorus, and post-chorus for now and move on to the second verse.

“For all that was said // Of where we'd end up at the end of it…”

It seems like the singer and his lover were talked about negatively by others. Critics of the couple seemed to warn that they’d end up in a negative spot, physically or emotionally, by the end of the their relationship, or the end of their lives, due to the consequences of the relationship.

This song seems to be very inspired by the real life Francesca da Polenta and Paolo Malatesta, as well as their fictional punishment in Inferno, or the more famously titled Dante’s inferno, section of the epic poem Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri. In real life, Francesca cheated on her husband, Giovanni Malatesta, with his brother, Paolo. Giovanni, enraged, murdered Paolo and Francesca. In Dante’s Inferno, Paolo and Francesca are punished for their infidelity by being sent to the second circle of Hell when they died, where they are internally swept by violent winds, or an internal hurricane, mirroring how they were swept away by their feelings for each other. With this context, the remainder of this analysis will use this story as the lose context of what happened to the singer and his lover. Let’s say they were sent to hell for “lust”.

“When the heart would cease // Ours never knew peace // What good would it be on the far side of things?”

The lovers both have turbulent backstories throughout their lives. Maybe a life full of sin prior to their final sin of loving each other that ended their lives. They never knew peace. I believe the singer asks themselves what good would not loving their lover during their lives have done if they probably were going to end up in hell anyway (Oddly enough this question was the hardest part of the song to interpret for me). What good would it be in the long run, or far side of things, if we were going to hell anyway?

“It was too soon // When that part of you was ripped away // A grip taking hold // Like a cancer that grows // Each piece of your body that it takes.”

In the context of Francesca and Paolo in history, they were murdered, therefore, taken too soon. Maybe this is what the singer is referring to, if you go with the interpretation that the singer is supposed to literally be Paolo, talking to Francesca (or Francesca talking to Paolo—l’ve seen that interpretation). Outside of that exact context, the singer might be talking about his lover’s past. What ever happened to the lover, it killed a part of them, sooner than it should've died. Maybe this missing part of the lover affected their relationship with the singer. I take it as mental illness taking away some part of their lover and if affecting they're relationship, but it could be anything. This could be the alternative negative to their relationship, or punishment, that they were warned of, other than Hell.

Now, let’s look at the pre-chorus, chorus, and post-chorus.

“If someone asked me at the end // I'll tell them put me back in it // Dar-Darling, I would do it again, ah, ah // If I could hold you for a minute // Dar-Darling, I'd go through it again, ah, ah // I would still be surprised I could find you, darling // In any life // If I could hold you for a minute // Dar-Darling, I would do it again, ah, ah.”

“Though I know my heart would break // I'll tell them put me back in it…”

The most beautiful aspect of this song: the singer revels that he would never change a thing about what happened to them, even if the two are receiving punishment for their love. Even though this punishment, or the consequences leading up to the punishment, breaks their heart or kills them, they would make the same “mistake” if they were given a second chance to fix it to where they aren’t being punished. They’d still sin and find their lover in any second chance of life and be just as in love, then suffer in the name of it. Ah! Francesca and Paolo were in Hell, but they were in it together. They aren’t apart in Dante’s Inferno, they get to be swept in the wind while holding onto each other. This might be defeating the point of Hell, but I think they probably make the most of their situation down there, since they’re still together and in love.

Now the outro (Note: I’ve been seeing some slightly different lyrics for the outro on different sites and Hozier’s very ethereal annunciation, while beautiful, doesn’t really help in that department. Forgive me if these lyrics are wrong and if it affects the analysis).

“I would not change it each time (I would not change it each time) // Heaven is not fit to house a love (Heaven is not fit to house a love) // Like you and I (like you and I).”

Again, the singer would not change the way things happened with their lover, despite the penalty they face for it. The singer decides that Heaven can’t house their love anyway. Maybe this is because it’s too big of a love that even Heaven, a place that is supposed to house an unimaginable amount of people, can't make room for it. Or their love is too complex to perfectly fit into the typical box of “pure” or “good”, aka Heaven.

This is admittedly a bit of a detour, but I wanted to add a possible extra literary reference this song might take from. I’m probably so off, but I couldn’t help myself after it came to me.

The pre-chorus, chorus, post-chorus, and outro specifically remind me of Adam and Eve from Paradise Lost by John Milton. In that story, Adam and Eve live in the paradise that is the garden of Eden. They live in unfiltered joy and in pure love (they’re actually surprisingly so cute during this period when you read the epic poem). Adam regularly dubs her the “Holy Mother” and other titles like that. Then Satan, disguised as a snake, convinces Eve to eat the fruit of knowledge. As Eve eats she loses her purity, now knowing and wondering things that she wasn’t built to for. Things such as death and how it’s in her now, or if she’ll know what God knows, or if the fruit kills her will God make Adam a new Eve. Eve, loving Adam so greatly, decides she can’t stand Adam having another Eve, now able to have the flaw of jealousy, so she offers Adam, who had been making a flower crown for her, some of the fruit. Adam, knowing that Eve has condemned herself and that he can’t love a new Eve, decides to go down with the woman he loves and eats the fruit, unbeknownst to him that she is no longer the exact woman he fell for. She now has impurities. They both become jaded versions of themselves and they’re original love is gone. Adam and Eve get punished by having no choice but to die eventually and toil through the pains of life. Both Adam and Eve, for the first time ever, since they just introduced the concept into the world, want death, and Eve begs for his forgiveness, as long as he doesn’t leave her. They decide to live in faith that things will improve and ask the angels forgiveness. They gain that forgiveness, but must leave Eden. Adam and Eve also now somewhat fear the angels that they once considered friends and know they will never seem them the same way again, now being corrupt. Eve takes the revelation hard, but, even after all they’ve been through and are now going to go through, Adam remarks that Eve is still the “Holy Mother” to him, sin and all, and that he still loves her, even if it’s different now. After Adam is told about how sin will be forgiven after Christ (he’s not told as directly as that, but you know), Adam and Eve decide to make the best of their lives, hopeful, and leave Eden.

The outro especially remains me of this story. Both are about loving someone in spite of the pain it caused. My gay, Christian, hopeless-romantic ass loves that shit. I do think the main inspiration to this song was Francesca da Polenta, Paolo Malatesta, and Dante’s Inferno, but I couldn’t help but also think of that version of Adam and Eve too, and just thought I’d throw it in here as a slight bonus analysis (I totally recommend Milton’s Paradise Lost and it’s sequel Paradise Regained, whether or not you're Christian. They’re such cool retellings of the story of the first sin and the temptation of Christ. Paradise Lost is so much more interesting beyond the common—in my opinion, wrong—rhetoric that it’s about “Ooh—Is Satan actually the good guy??? Is he in the right???” No. His a master manipulator and you fell for it. Adam and Eve are the real show in my eyes. They are so fascinating). Adam and Eve don’t fit the song perfectly or anything, but I… just wanted an excuse to talk about them…

I’ve seen some interpretations of this song as sexy or about lust, I guess since Francesca and Paolo were in Hell for lust. I‘m not saying that’s an incorrect interpretation at all, as you can interpret things however you want. But I can’t seem to see it that way. It feels more about romantic, “real” love to me, not just lust, if there’s any lust at all. Sex doesn’t even seem to be referenced in this song from what I can tell. Maybe they mean it’s a sexy song? Like the song is so good it’s sexy, but not really about sex? I don’t know. I can be kinda “sex-blind” sometimes, as I call it, and sexual references can go over my head, so maybe that’s why I can’t see it. Hozier has plenty of songs that are about sex or sexually charged (i.e. Talk, It Will Come Back, Moment’s Silence, probably etc.) but I don't personally think this is one of them.

I hoped you enjoyed and got something out of my dribble that I wrote instead of sleeping. 💚

#hozier #andrew hozier byrne #francesca #eat your young #unreal unearth #dante’s inferno #divine comedy #epic poem #paolo malatesta #epic poetry #francesca da polenta #paradise lost #christianity #christian #song analysis #Spotify