#I thought Andrew was going to have to hold up the drafts at the bottom but he gets away with it-!

[doc-pickles]

the jolex college AU that literally no one asked for

Soooo I did a thing. I’ve actually had 90% of this in my drafts for awhile and I just decided to finish it today. (nina you said you didn’t have any fics in your drafts. WELL I’M STUPID SO THERE’S THAT) I’m not planning on expanding this past a one shot but it’s a fun little AU that my mind kicked up one night while watching 14x15 and drinking too much sangria. It’s not polished up or beta read but I figured something is better than nothing :) 

also TW// jo swears like a freaking sailor in this fic

“A fucking fire alarm? Really?!”

Jo Wilson was not one to be inconvenienced, especially not while she was in the damn shower. She let a groan out as the water above her shut off, probably an incentive to get her out of the building in case it really was on fire. 

“I’m going, I’m going,” Jo muttered to herself, reaching for her towel. After wrapping it around herself, she realized that she hadn’t brought her clothes with her. “Oh you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

Fuming with anger, Jo began to walk down the two flights of stairs to the ground floor and out the front door of Earl Hall. Various cat calls and whoops met Jo’s ears, but she was too angry with whoever the hell set off the fire alarm to acknowledge them. 

“Wilson! You trying to give us a show here,” Jo turned at her name, staring down Andrew DeLuca as he attempted to get under her skin… or under her towel. “I wouldn’t say no to a free peep show.”

“Oh shove off DeLuca, you’ll fuck anything with a pulse,” Jo retorted, earning a howl of laughter from DeLuca’s friends. “I’ll show off the goods to anyone who can tell me who set off the fucking fire alarm while I was showering though.”

“That would be me.”

Jo whipped around, one hand coming to hold the bottom of her towel in place as she came face to face with the person who had effectively ruined her day. 

She hadn’t met the man before, but Jo was instantly mesmerized. He wore a dark blue shirt and plaid boxer shorts, hair ruffled at odd angles and the beginnings of a scruffy beard appearing on his sharp jawline. The man was handsome and by God did Jo just want to fuck him right there and then. 

Kill him. Kill him right there and then. 

Jesus Christ Jo, pull your head out of your vagina. 

“So you’re the asshole that set off the alarm,” Jo asked, eyebrow raising as if daring him to refute her words. “Well hi, I’m Jo and I’m fucking pissed at you.”

“I’m Alex and I really enjoy your talent for slipping the word ‘fuck’ into almost every sentence that comes out of your mouth,” Jo stared back at Alex, unamused by his joke. “Listen I’m sorry, I was trying to study for chem and my hot plate burned a hole through my notebook. You should be back in soon if it’s any consolation.”

As if by fate, the fire alarm stopped ringing and someone shouted that it was safe to go back in. Students began to file in but Jo and Alex kept their staring match going. She couldn’t tell if it was the mounting sexual tension between them or just plain old hostility, but Jo couldn’t tear her eyes away from the man in front of her. 

“You’re on my fucking shit list Alex,” Jo stated firmly before walking away. “You better watch it!”

“Hey! You didn’t hold up your end of things,” Alex called out, causing Jo to turn back around and lift an eyebrow in question. “You said that you would ‘show off the goods’ to anyone who told you why the fire alarm went off. Well that was me.”

Jo paused momentarily, thoughts racing a million miles a minute before she moved closer to Alex and opened her towel up. Eyes wide, Alex immediately diverted his gaze away from Jo, not anticipating that she would actually flash him. With a satisfied smirk, Jo tucked her towel back into place and walked back towards the dorm hall. 

“Have a good fucking night Alex!”

+

“If I never end up at another frat party it’ll be too soon,” Jo complained, swatting a hand away from her ass as she followed her roommate towards the kitchen. “Why’d you have to drag me out here, Hannah? You know Brandon trolls these parties looking for unsuspecting girls to trick into dating him so he can cheat on them a month in.”

Hannah looked at Jo with a bored expression, as if to say she was tired of hearing this story over and over again. 

“We get it, you hate Brandon Thomas and everything he stands for,” Hannah rolled her eyes and handed a red solo cup to Jo. “But you realize that this is the Kappa house and Brandon is in Chi Omega. They’re sworn enemies, you’ll never see him here unless the planets align and someone’s sacrificed a virgin to the moon god.”

Jo rolled her eyes, lips coming to the cup and taking a large swallow of the jungle juice inside. She didn’t really know anyone at these parties, but there was always free alcohol and she had a pocket knife stashed in her bra in case she got into trouble. 

“Jo, promise me you won’t kill me but Brandon is here,” Jo’s head whipped around to look at Hannah, eyes wide as she stared her roommate down. “He’s by the front door, just turn around and walk towards the backyard and you’ll never see each other.”

Jo eyed the back door, only 50 feet from where she was standing. She could definitely make it there without being noticed. Weaving through the crowd, Jo was positive she would get out without accident. 

“Jo! Is that you?”

Brandon’s voice sounded over the crowd, making Jo cringe as she realized she had been caught. She looked around in a panic, almost yelling as a pair of arms slid around her waist. 

“Just play along, I hate that douche bag too,” Jo looked up in shock, realizing that the person that had grabbed her was the guy who had set off the fire alarm last week. “Nice to fucking see you, Jo.”

“Oh you’re a piece of- MMM,” Jo was cut off by Alex’s lips pressing into hers. Jungle juice and adrenaline coursing through her veins, Jo presses back against him. Alex holds her against him for a minute more, one hand trailing to grab her ass while the other pulls her closer into his embrace. Her free hand unconsciously comes up to tangle in the curls at the nape of his neck and Jo swears she can feel him moan under the pounding sounds of bass music that surround them. Finally, after what feels like a lifetime, he pulls away with a crooked grin. 

“Sorry, that prick Thomas was walking by, had to give him a show. You’re welcome.” 

Alex walks away from Jo then, leaving her standing in the middle of a frat house party completely confused. 

+

“Jo! I’m walking out the door but your alarm has been going off for 20 minutes!” Hannah slammed the door to the dorm room, abruptly waking Jo up. She looked to her bedside clock, groaning loudly as she realized that she had 15 minutes to get across campus to her 9:30 AM class. 

“Well fuck,” Jo bemoaned as she rolled out of bed, grabbing whatever clothes were around her and throwing them on. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. I can’t miss O Chem again. Fuck!”

Rushing out the door, Jo let her worn out sneakers pound across the pavement towards her Organic Chemistry class. It was only week two of spring semester and she couldn’t risk missing class for a second time. 

Skidding into the lecture hall, Jo raced past a few students and slid into the back row of her class only five minutes late. She let out a loud breath, pulling her notebook out of her backpack as she tried to tune into the professor.

“You know you might be able to learn more if you show up on time,” Jo’s head snapped up as she looked to her left, realizing that the seat she had chosen was right next to Alex. “Funny seeing you here.”

“You have a lot of nerve trying to talk to me again after what you did at that house party,” Jo kept her eyes locked on her notebook, refusing to even glance at Alex as she started writing notes. “Even if you did save my ass, who goes around kissing strangers?”

“We’re not strangers. I know that your name is Jo and we live in the same hall and you smuggle cereal out of the dining hall when you think no one is looking,” Alex shrugged, eyes trained on the lecturer at the front of the hall. “And you’ve shown me your rack, I feel like that counts for something too.”

Side eyeing the man next to her, Jo watched Alex listening intently to their professor. He had a serious expression painted on his face, one that made him look years older than he was. Today he wore a forest green sweatshirt that bore the university’s wrestling team logo. Jo thought back to the first time she met Alex, remembering the way his shoulders and arms were built up more than anything else on his lean body. His dark hair and eyes that had instantly caught Jo’s eye seemed harsher under the fluorescent lighting of the classroom. This version of Alex that she was staring at today seemed so different than the Alex who accidentally set his chemistry book on fire and kissed her at a party to help her avoid her cheating ex. This Alex… well he seemed cold and unapproachable. 

“Okay that only proves that you’ve been stalking me,” Jo rolled her eyes. “What do you want? Are you expecting me to sleep with you? Or help you with your homework? Because that’s a no on all of the above.”

“Nah figured you needed a friend,” Alex shrugged, pencil tapping against the edge of his textbook. “You seem like the lonely type.”

“I am not lonely,” Jo’s voice comes out louder than intended. Her next words are softer as she glares at Alex, their teacher and lesson long forgotten. “I’m just selective about who I spend my time with.”

She does try to concentrate on her work then, but Jo can feel Alex’s eyes boring into the side of her head. He frustrates her, angers her in a way that nobody has before and she can’t decide if she wants to punch him in the face or kiss him until she can’t breathe. 

Wait what?

Jo shook her head, trying to clear out the image of a shirtless and sweaty Alex out of her mind. She was not going to start fantasizing about the handsome muscular man who’s lips felt like velvet against hers and who’s hand on her ass made her feel like-

“You’re drooling.”

Her hand flew up to her cheek, wiping at the small pool of liquid as her cheeks flamed red. She chanced looking over to Alex, who wore a shit eating grin that was slightly crooked. Damn it, keep it in your panties Jo!

“I was thinking about… dinner tonight,” Jo nodded, keeping her gaze forward. “Probably going to get… take out, something fast and easy.”

“Fast and easy, huh?,” Jo could swear that Alex’s voice took on a husky quality to it as he lowered his volume. An involuntary shiver ran up her spine as she futilely tried to calm the rising sensations in her body. ”That’s my favorite. For dinner I mean, I love it fast… and easy…” 

Whipping her head around, Jo locked her eyes with Alex’s. The intensity of their stares almost scared her, but more than that Jo was desperate. She wanted this complete stranger (and total asshole) in the worst ways possible, her mind conjuring up images that would send her straight to Hell if she dared to say them out loud. 

“I have no idea what the professor is talking about,” Jo admitted, eyes watching Alex’s lips as her tongue darted out wet her own. “But I really wanna get out of here.”

“If I fail this class because of you, you’re never gonna hear the end of it,” Alex was hastily shoving his books into his bag, slinging it over his shoulder as Jo rose and made a beeline for the door. 

The pair ignored the stares they got from their classmates as they raced out the door, jetting into the empty hallway in a fit of giggles. Before she could comprehend what was happening, Jo found herself in Alex’s embrace. He pinned her against the wall, lips hungrily devouring hers as her hands fisted his hair roughly.

“Come on lover boy,” Jo smirked, hand tangling in Alex’s own as she broke apart from him and dragged him down the hall. “My roommate has classes for the rest of the day so my dorm is empty.”

#alex karev #jo karev #jo wilson #jolex #jo x alex #jolex fic #greys anatomy #greys fanfic #greys #jolex fanfic #nina writes

[dumpsterd1va]

(was going through my drafts and found a fic idea for andreil quitting smoking so i’ve used quarantine as an excuse to actually write it)

ashes to ashes

Neil Josten let his cigarette burn to the filter without taking a drag.

Through the tendrils of smoke, hooded eyes bore into his own. “Such a waste.”

Without breaking eye contact, Neil rolled the crumbling remains between his fingers before letting them drop onto the asphalt two stories below. Then with an expression that was more of a challenge than a smile, he said, “It is.”

His companion raised an eyebrow but only took a drag of his own cigarette in response. When he exhaled, Neil watched the puff of smoke dissolve into the haze of dawn before his eyes inevitably wandered back to the source. Pursed lips, a furrowed brow, hair dancing in the morning breeze, hazel irises ablaze with glowing embers and first sunlight.

Not for the first time, Neil thought he could spend the rest of his life watching the sun rise and set on the sloping planes of Andrew Minyard’s face.

It was a thought that didn’t go unnoticed. “Stop that,” Andrew grumbled through the cigarette balanced between his teeth.

“Get used to it.”

He’d only had Andrew’s gaze, but now Neil also had his attention. Exhaling hard, Andrew pulled the last dregs of the cigarette from his mouth and stubbed it out. From under the blanket they were huddling in together, Andrew brought his free hand up to Neil’s face, only allowing himself his fingertips against Neil’s jaw once Neil whispered an affirmation. His thumb ran along Neil’s bottom lip as he huffed, “You’re impossible.”

Andrew released his thumb only to replace it with the insistent press of his own lips. Neil could still taste the fleeting bitterness of the smoke that lingered on Andrew’s tongue but there was a sweetness mixed in as well, one not as easily explained.

His own hand drifted to rest on top of Andrew’s still cupping his face. The kiss deepened, so Neil pressed his cheek deeper into the touch, sighing and squeezing Andrew’s hand with his own.

They broke away then and Andrew’s hand retreated, but only to the more familiar territory of the back of Neil’s neck. Neil dropped his hand back to his side where it belonged.

Andrew searched Neil’s face for an answer Neil was sure he already knew, but he still asked, “What’s gotten into you?”

The corner of Neil’s mouth twitched. “You.” Andrew looked ready to throw him off the balcony, so he added, “My answer will always be you.”

The murderous glint didn’t leave Andrew’s eyes but he pulled Neil toward him all the same as they stumbled back inside their flat.

---

When Neil woke up for the second time that day, he was splayed on his back, the worn blanket doing little to disguise the stiffness of the hardwood floor. He would’ve been surprised that the last rays of sun were already sinking below the horizon but he hadn’t been sleeping well the past few days. Stretching, Neil pulled off the second blanket that had been thrown on top of him and looked around. Through his weary daze, he could see a familiar figure on their balcony once again, this time bundled in an old sweatshirt that didn’t quite belong to him and sitting on the piece of furniture they had the audacity to call a couch.

Wrapping the blanket around his shoulders, Neil ambled over and settled down next to Andrew who spared him a glance before taking the cigarette out of his mouth and passing it to Neil.

Time seemed to freeze during these moments, like nothing else existed except the intensity of Andrew’s stare and the cigarette wordlessly shuttled between them, but for the first time since all this started however many years ago, Neil hesitated. In that instant he wondered just how many times they had repeated this routine over the years, this exchange that was anything but silent. He never would have imagined that he could even have habits at all, let alone one that was shared. It was ingrained in him as much as it was ingrained in Andrew and that realization left him breathless.

Before Andrew could comment on the stutter in Neil’s movements, Neil accepted the cigarette and considered it between his fingers, the vibrant red and drifting ash, before getting up and holding it over the balcony.

To his credit, Andrew didn’t flinch. His eyes flicked from the cigarette to Neil before narrowing.

It was only fair for a silent question to receive a silent answer, so Neil asked again, this time with words, “Would you?”

Aside from his eyebrows knitting together, Andrew’s expression didn’t change much. “Are you asking?”

“Yes.”

“Why should I?”

“So your lungs don’t turn to tar before you’re 40.”

Only then did Andrew smile, but it’s almost mocking in its formation. “Didn’t you say it wasn’t righteousness?”

“It’s not.”

“Then what is it?”

Neil didn’t know how to put what he’d been feeling into words, so he began with a bit of truth. “You don’t need it.” Andrew scoffed, which forced the whole truth out of Neil in a rush, “But I need you.”

Andrew’s eyes widened and Neil winced. He could feel his whole body tingling, there was a tightness in his chest that was burning, burning. The absolute stillness that followed was so long that the once freshly lit cigarette in Neil’s hand turned to ash and broke away from his loose grip. It brought him back down to Earth with it. Such a waste.

He wiped his now empty hand against the blanket. “I’m not.” He looked up and sighed. “I’m not as demanding as I was in college, so if you want we can pretend this conversation never happened.”

Given Andrew’s perfect memory, it was a stupid thing to suggest but Neil figured he’d already suggested worse. He sat back down and opened the blanket up. An invitation.

Andrew didn’t take it. “You’ve gone soft.”

Irritation welled up in the pit of Neil’s stomach. “Andrew, I just said…” he began but Andrew cut him off.

“Before you would’ve bargained to hell and back to get me to do what you asked.”

Neil blinked. “What?”

“What would you give me to stop?”

Something clicked. “I have nothing left to give. Everything I have and am is yours and always will be. No matter what.”

Bolting up, Andrew pointed a finger at him. “When will you stop with the always?”

Despite himself, Neil felt a prickle of amusement. “Never? That’s kind of what it means.”

Maybe Andrew was right, he was going soft. Because before the speed at which Andrew had taken ahold of the collar of his shirt wouldn’t have taken him by surprise, but now the air had been pushed out of his lungs, his heart pounding in his chest.

“Don’t give me that bullshit when a minute ago you were running away from your own words. You brought it up only to try to walk away.” Their faces were only a breath apart now. “Once a runner, always a runner.”

The accusation cut him even after all this time, even if it was partly true. “Either I’ve changed or I haven’t, which is it?”

“Don’t get smart with me, Josten. Let’s try this instead. Either you tell me what’s going on in that tiny brain of yours or I throw you off this balcony without a second thought.”

The threat was empty but the heat was real. A trickle of guilt lodged at the base of Neil’s throat.

“Okay,” he whispered, hands ghosting over Andrew’s. “I’m sorry.”

“Save it.”

“Andrew,” Neil murmured. “You know I’d give you anything. All you have to do is ask.”

For a moment it seemed that Andrew would kiss him and the conversation really would be forgotten in the crush of lips and heated skin, but soon Andrew’s hold relaxed and he took a seat next to Neil again, closer this time.

“Talk.”

There was no good place to start so Neil picked up where he left off. “I need you. I need this.” He paused but Andrew was well past the point of denying there was a this. “Not just now but tomorrow and the day after and the day after that. For months, years, decades.” Neil had to laugh at the word decade, so foreign on his tongue. “I’ve never considered my life like this before. Before you. I was always sure I’d die before I turned 30. Hell, I’d have considered it a win if I made it to 25.”

A few beats of silence. “So you don’t have a death wish anymore?” Andrew asked but there was no malice in his voice.

Neil rolled his eyes and gestured between himself and Andrew. “This is the first thing I ever did for myself. I had always thought it was exy, but that was chosen for me too.” Andrew looked like he was about to say something snarky so Neil amended, “Don’t get me wrong, I live and breathe that sport, but there’s still an invisible gun pressed to my head every time I play. You and the Foxes were a choice that was wholly mine and it’s a choice I intend to make last for as long as I can. Smoking less is just a means to an end.”

There was silence again but also a subtle reshuffling. An arm thrown here, a leg laid there and before Neil knew it he and Andrew were once again under the same blanket shoulder to shoulder, Andrew bearing the full weight of Neil’s body against his chest.

A half-finished pack of cigarettes floated in front of Neil’s face before landing onto his lap. “Keep it. Toss it. Do whatever you want with it,” Andrew muttered into Neil’s hair.

Neil stared at his lap. “I wasn’t saying cold turkey. I meant not a pack a day.”

“I know.”

“So…”

“So then hold onto them and if I want it I’ll tell you or if you want one then tell me, but it’s not we’d need them any other time.”

It took everything in Neil not to gape at Andrew. All these years, he’d assumed that he’d been an unwelcome intrusion in a space that wasn’t his and that Andrew allowed it for the same reason he allowed Neil to put his hand over Andrew’s heart and keep it there.

And maybe it had started that way but when Neil finally gave in and turned to look at Andrew to express his disbelief, he saw his answer. It was an answer he should’ve known all along. The habit hardest to break had never been the cigarettes.

“Oh,” Neil breathed and Andrew gave him a wry smile.

“You’re a real dumbass, you know that Josten?” he said as his lips traced Neil’s in a movement so whisper soft that Neil would have agreed to anything Andrew said to make it continue.

When he said as much, their bodies went from fitted together to one and the same. Every part of him Andrew touched burned and Neil thought if this went on for much longer there’d be nothing left of him but ashes.

Instead, hours after they were done relearning every inch, every curve, every scar, Neil opened his eyes to Andrew’s head nestled beneath his own, allowing him to watch the moonlight fading from pale silver to white in his hair. With a smile, he let his eyes fall shut again as the weight of Andrew’s arm wrapped firmly around his waist and lips paused in the middle of ghosting along the marred skin of his shoulder blade reminded him that long ago, out of the ashes, the two of them had been reborn.

#andreil #aftg #all for the game #tfc #the foxhole court #my fic #wooooow i havent written in a long time #this took me much longer than i anticipated #and its still not that great tbh #cause its been so long since ive read the books that im like forgetting whats real and whats just my deepseated headcanon LOL #so this may be OOC #should i reread aftg? #got nothing but time now #anyways i just like the idea of them quitting and/or smoking less #cause like they ARE athletes and neil runs so much #and now that they actually have futures they can start thinking about them #instead of living like little hell demons on their last day on earth #neil wants them to grow old together now and that fucking scares and excites him #andrew has already been thinking that he's just never taken definitive action to get them there #so its also kind of a shock that neil is only just now realizing this when hes been thinking it all along #so maybe hes a little mad at that #lol dont be petty andrew #also like im loling at the fact that theyre both so invested in their emo boy smoking routine #but both dont realize that for both of them it was never about the cigarettes #also yes its implied they did nothing but smoke have sex and sleep all day #i treat my boys right #give them a real weekend #they deserve it

[sixinsultsago]

i hold it there in my hands

domestic andreil again because i do not quit. post-canon, fluff.

read on ao3

*

Like a snake, my heart has shed its skin. I hold it there in my hand, full of honey and wounds.

*

The trick to loving right Andrew Minyard is, surprisingly enough, expectation.

Andrew has an ego that demands he stay one step ahead of the competition, but that’s for threats. When you’re on the correct side of him, he craves to be anticipated. Andrew makes it embarrassingly easy. After a childhood being overlooked — or worse, noticed for all the wrong reasons — Andrew kind of… crumbles when another person sees him. It’s how Renee secured him as her best friend without a deal. It’s how Matt inducted himself into the Monsters in his senior year.

It’s how Neil is sitting cross-legged on a pretentious marble counter-top, eating crunchy peanut butter from the jar.

Andrew is facing the stove top, his strong back covered by a typical black shirt. Every time he moves Neil can just about taste it. He might as well be shirtless for all the good the useless fabric is doing for his modesty.

Okay. Neil needs to not think about that.

Andrew purposely bangs his spatula against the side of the saucepan, fed-up. “Don’t you have anything better to do?"

The idea of Andrew feeling Neil’s gaze is almost embarrassing, just not enough for Neil to look away. “I don’t have eidetic memory; I need to take the time to memorize you.”

“You did that enough during college.”

“You look different from then,” Neil protests. Andrew is broader, thicker in his arms and stomach and thighs. His hair is longer, the scowl lines around his mouth less pronounced. Neil doesn’t love Andrew any less now than when he regularly pulled knives on their teammates, but he can’t deny a certain fondness for an Andrew who lets himself smile when he texts Bee about Halloween costumes.

Andrew doesn’t deny it. Neil smiles around his spoon. “What are you making?”

“Sandwich.”

“Why are you frying it?”

“Nicer this way.”

He flips the sandwich. Something sizzles. Neil doesn’t think it is oil. The smell is — putrid.

And familiar.

Neil’s stomach turns at the same time he realizes what that smell is. “Fuck. Are you eating that stupid maple syrup and cream cheese toastie garbage?”

Andrew throws him a flat look over his shoulder. “Why do you sound offended. I am not making you eat it.”

The ‘stupid maple syrup and cream cheese toastie garbage’ is a Andrew Minyard special. He puts maple syrup in a pan, brings it to a spitting boil, and fries a cream cheese sandwich in it. The first time he made it, he happened to do so in front of Kevin. Kevin dry-retched so bad he ended up crying. Allison had it on camera.

“Andrew,” Neil starts, incredulous. “There’s no way your nutritionist approved that!”

The blond shrugs. “I’m hungry.”

“Oh my god.”

“Shut up and eat your peanut butter, hypocrite.” He slides the toasted sandwich out of the pan and pulls it apart into skinny, little pieces without waiting for it to cool down. It clearly hurts. Andrew doesn’t stop doing it, because he is as stupid as the people he surrounds himself with.

Neil’s stomach shrivels up and dies when Andrew meets his eyes and takes a pointed bite. He chucks his spoon into the sink and declares: “I’ve lost my appetite.”

Andrew points at him with two fingers, directing him to look at the lounge set-up behind Neil. “That is your problem, Neil. Go into the other room and eat alone if you must.”

“You’re going to have a heart attack.”

“And that would be my problem to deal with. See how this works?”

Andrew eats slowly deliberately these days, mostly to prove he doesn’t have to choke down whatever is put in front of him before it’s taken away. Neil resents the practice for the first time in months. “We’re going grocery shopping when you get back from practice tomorrow,” Neil decides. “You know, I don’t want to be eating peanut butter out of the jar, but your cupboards are bare. How do you live like this?”

Andrew freezes mid-chew. His eyes narrow subtly. To anyone else it would be a warning. Neil recognizes the expression as exasperated.

“Neil,” Andrew starts.

Oh no, thinks Neil.

“You were arrested last month because an officer thought you were homeless and sleeping on a park bench. However bad you think I am, I can guarantee you are exceedingly worse.”

That had happened. Neil was tired after his run, saw a park bench, and decided to rest his eyes. The next time he woke up, a concerned mother was watching him, clinging to her child, hiding behind a police officer who genuinely did try to arrest Neil. Ironically, it was a first for Neil, who’s been homeless plenty of times before and got away with it, but actually wasn’t the one time he was caught.

“At least I have food in my fridge.”

“Take-away,”

“I have other things.”

“An unnecessary amount of fruit.”

“I eat it,” says Neil defensively. Andrew looks at him like Neil admitted to murder. Except not at all, because if that were the case he’d be marginally more turned on. “We’re going, Andrew. It'll be good for us, and I'm not eating peanut butter for the rest of my vacation. Abby would drive over specifically to kick your ass.”

“Ha-ha,” Andrew replies, emotionless. “What would I do with groceries.”

“Cook them. I think.”

“You think.”

“Shut up. This isn’t a discussion. Wal-Mart, tomorrow, get excited about it.”

Andrew, finished with his unholy meal, sets his empty plate in the sink and slinks forward. He puts his hands on Neil’s thighs and lightly traces them down until they catch in the crease of his knees. One quick tug unfolds Neil’s legs, allowing Andrew to slide in close. Andrew tips his head back. His nose barely brushes Neil’s chin.

Neil bites on his bottom lip to smother his smile. 

Here’s the thing. Andrew looks very comfortable having Neil an extra couple inches above him; it’s amusing because he frankly cannot be as happy about the new height difference as he’s pretending. 

He’s angling for something. Neil doesn’t care what: he’ll play along if it keeps Andrew right where he is.

It is nice having the bed to himself, sure, but Neil notices Andrew’s absence like a missing limb. It aches all the time. He gets phantom pains everywhere. He turns around at practice to meet eyes that are not there; twists around in bed searching for his warmth; at one point Neil bought a pint of ice cream just to fill the empty space in their freezer. Nicky assures him it will ease, that sometimes he will forget he needs Andrew around constantly. It hasn’t happened yet, that brief stretch of time when Neil doesn't miss him. Neil’s nervous for when it will hit. If it ever does. Even if it didn't seem unfair to Andrew not to want him twenty-four seven, Neil just isn't sure he is capable of being completely happy with this distance between them.

Like Andrew can hear his thoughts, he tips forward and presses his mouth to Neil’s neck. Resting there. Staying close. His lips barely move when he says, “Your heart is racing.”

Neil closes his eyes. He catches Andrew’s wandering hands and tangles their fingers together. He can’t imagine letting go for anything.

“Andrew,”

“Mm?”

“Andrew. Look at me?”

With a begrudging sigh, Andrew pulls back. He freezes when Neil catches his face and smacks a sloppy kiss to his nose. Neil feels Andrew’s cheeks start burning hotter, experiences his own heart swell twice its usual size.

Andrew’s eyes go wide and exceptionally golden when he’s happy.

Neil does it again and again and again. He kisses Andrew’s chin, cheekbones, both eyelids, along his jawline. He punctuates his journey with a final press to Andrew’s forehead, drawing back with a grin so wide it hurts old scars. Andrew huffs impatiently, pushing up onto the tip of his toes. Neil allows their noses brush, then leans away.

“I’m not kissing you properly, not when you just ate that shitty toasted sandwich.”

Andrew stares at him. He covers Neil’s hands, gently framing his neck, with his own. He guides them down to lay flat on the counter. They stay there.

“I am not going to Wal-Mart.”

“Okay. Walgreens?”

“Fine.”

“Fine?”

Andrew glares. Instead of repeating himself, he says, “I’m going to call Nicky.”

Even though Nicky would be thrilled, Neil feels obliged to step in. “He’s going to notice you’re all…” Neil doesn’t know how to say ‘spoiling for a blow job’ without triggering Andrew’s pettiness and getting himself quarantined to his own side of the bed. At a loss for words, he gestures at Andrew expressively, which seems to communicate his point. Andrew pinches his thigh, unimpressed. “What?”

“You are not nearly as cute as you think you are.”

“Pretty sure I’m as cute as you think I am.”

Andrew looks prepared to walk out of the apartment altogether. “One day, you’ll learn to stop talking,” He says wistfully. Two fingers press down on Neil’s lips on the edge of too rough. Andrew strides into his bedroom, the door hanging open behind him. Neil hears the tingy sound of a Skype call ringing out, followed by the pop of an answered call.

Seconds later, Renee’s warm voice is saying, “Oh! Hello, Andrew. This is a surprise. Is Neil there?”

Andrew doesn’t answer. Renee explains without being asked: “You get a certain look on your face when—”

“This was a mistake,” says Andrew. Neil guesses the only thing that keeps him from hanging up is Renee’s sudden cresting laughter. She continues unhindered, “No, no, I was just kidding. It really is nice to see you! Neil? Neil, are you there?”

“Hi, Renee.”

She somehow hears him, calling back, “Hello! It must be nice for you to two to be together again. Well, what are you doing, Andrew? How is your practice going?”

Andrew proceeds to talk to her in a near whisper. Neil lets his rising and falling murmur slow his heart rate down. Once the giddiness leaves his head, Neil finds his feet again. He cleans up the kitchen so Andrew won’t need to do it later, then starts his hunt for a scrap of paper and pen.

It was time to draft his first ever shopping list.

#aftg #tfc #neil josten #andrew minyard #andreil fic #my fic #jesus I LOVE MY MARRIED ATHLETES????????? #THEY'RE IN LOVE? #in case it wasn't clear andrew is graduated and neil isn't #and yes andrew has a pretentious and expensive apartment in new york #no there isnt rooftop access but that's relative anyway. he's on the roof #the foxhole court #if you're curious yes neil texts kevin the health food guru for advice on how to fucking survive...

[whatbutandreil]

i had an ask sitting in my inbox for a couple of months bc i didn't really know what i wanted to say, but i lost the ask:/

unfortunately, when i tried to save my response to my drafts, tumblr just,, fuckin deleted it, so im sorry to whoever asked it:/ but i have my response now. the ask said "what(or who) got you into tfc?" to the person who asked this question, thank you. this has been a really great reflection. so uh,, here's my answer:

·

i kinda hate the way i came into tfc bc it was in a way that didn't respect the wishes of my, now friend on twitter, ziegenkind.

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basically, i was scrolling on pinterest, as you do, and i fell into a hole of like,, gay fanart? (not a question, just a little self-reflection on how fucking queer i am. how did i not fucking know?)

·

anyway, so, i was scrolling, as you do, and i found @ziegenkind 's stunning painting of andrew and neil on the bottom bunk of the dorm bed (y'all know the one) and i was like "whooooo,, the fUCk are these two cuties (ʘ‿ʘ)??"

·

PSA : DONT REPOST PEOPLE'S ART WITHOUT THEIR PERMISSION, ESPECIALLY IF SOMEONE EXPLICITLY SAYS NOT TO. THIS COUNTS AS REPOSTING IF YOU POST SOMEONE ELSE'S ART TO PINTEREST, INSTAGRAM, TUMBLR, TWITTER, FACEBOOK, ANY SOCIAL MEDIA. DO NOT QRT PEOPLE'S ART ON TWITTER IF PEOPLE SAY NO. YOU ARE NO EXCEPTION. AND DONT FUCKING ERASE PEOPLE'S WATERMARKS AND DEFINITELY DONT REPLACE THEM WITH YOUR OWN. DONT FUCKING DO IT. to the lovely ziegenkind, (it's julian from twitter (^o^)丿) it's so fuckin unfortunate that i found your art through reposts and it's fucking horrible that people don't listen, but thank you for being my bridge into this fandom and im very grateful to have found you and been able to talk with such an angel. you quite literally changed my life forever and i can't thank you enough:') im eternally grateful for that. BUT DONT FUCKING REPOST DIPSHITS

·

anyway, so, naturally, i sat in my bed for 3 hours at 1am on a school night, as you do, scrolling through andreil fan art and trying to figure out who the fUCK they were and what they were from. i found tfc and immediately downloaded it on my phone

·

i didn't get to reading it for a bit tho:/ abt a week later, i was brought to the emergency room bc i was planning to kill myself. id been diagnosed with depression for around a year, who knows how long i was suffering before that, and i was hitting my lowest. it was abt 2 weeks after new years and on new years eve, i was planning on ending it bc i couldn't fathom dealing with it for another year. another year of feeling nothing or everything all at once. but my mom had called me downstairs to go to a new years party, so i didn't go through with it. abt 2 weeks later, i had seen my therapist again, and i was deflecting hard core, and she saw it, and she sent me to the ER. i was evaluated all night, but i wasn't kept for observation since i told the nurse that the thoughts had passed. i was taken out of school and put in an outpatient program where id have group for 4 hours and school for 2. every morning for abt a month, i would get picked up at my house in a minivan and id have a good 20-25+ min drive to program.

·

every. single. morning. on the van, i would read tfc. every morning. i was going through, what i thought to be the worst time of my life (i now know that it in fact DID get worse and now we're going on a new level of bad, but then it was the worst id experienced) every morning i was reading about neil and him running from his father, something ive wanted to do for years. reading about andrew struggling with depression and self harm like i am and despising most touches bc of people in his life that ruined it, similar to how someone ruined it for me and doesn't understand that "no" means "no". reading about nicky learning to love and accept himself for being gay, for being who he is like ive been trying to accept myself being a queer ace trans boy. reading about kevin trying to cope with his anxiety, even if it's in an unhealthy way, the same way i do. reading about renee growing up one way and wanting to become a better person, something that i want to do every day. reading abt matt overcoming his addiction and loving his friends with his whole heart. reading about dan standing up for herself and being proud of who she is. reading abt allison cutting away the people in her life who wanted to hold her back. reading about aaron and andrew work through their differences to try and salvage their relationship. reading about neil taking his life back and living it the way he wants, on his terms, like i so badly crave to do. reading about neil and andrew finding a respectful and loving relationship, one where all boundaries are respected, not crossed, where there is comfort in being together and a certain understanding on a level that others could never wrap their mind around. the kind of relationship that i have always, always, yearned for, where i feel safe and loved and respected.

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these books taught me not only to die for the ones i love or kill for them, but to live for them, and to me, that is a much more daunting and difficult task.

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All For the Game gave me hope, something i never thought id have again. it gave me hope for tomorrow. and the day after that. and a month after that. and it gives me hope that one day, i will get away from my father, i will be comfortable with who i am and love myself for it, i will find ways to cope with my anxiety properly, i will be proud of the person i have become, i will have friends who i love and who love me, i will stand up for myself and be proud to be the person ive become, i will surround myself with good people and cut away those who treat me wrong and hold me back, i will work to repair and maintain good relationships.

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it gives me hope that i will finally break away from the pain and start to live my life the way i want, as the person i was meant to be, the way i was meant to live my life.

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it gives me hope that i will overcome my depression, that i will find the strength to stop harming myself to cope, that i will find the strength to push through, even after ive been given every reason to just give up.

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it gives me hope that one day, i will find a person who will love me for who i am, love me despite my past and the scars i carry, love me in a way that i'll never be able to explain or understand. that i will find someone who respects my boundaries, who asks "yes or no?" before touching me, who respects if i say "no" and still fucking loves me regardless. someone who can feel like they can be completely themself around me, and that i can feel the same around them. someone who will fall in love with me a little more every day. someone who i'll fall in love with a little more every day.

·

it gives me hope that one day, hopefully someday soon—but i think im willing to wait—i will be happy.

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All For the Game quite literally changed to course of my life, and i can say with confidence that without it, i would not be here right now.

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people say that books and shows and movies change there life all the time, but i know that i wouldn't be here without it. these books saved my fucking life. i wouldn't have experienced those mornings, walking into program with a goofy smile on my face, practically vibrating with what i now know was joy, blabbing to every person i ran into that morning abt a boy with scars and a sharp tongue on the run and the small, depressed and angry blond who told him to stay. or nights when i sobbed and sobbed for those boys who deserved better. and i wouldn't have gotten black armbands to cover my scars and match with my two biggest inspirations. or when i have a bad impulsive thought, i wouldnt have a voice in the back of my head going "what would andrew say? what would neil say?" and the vivid image of the small blond giving me a stare, face carefully blank, yet eyes swimming with a mix between disapproval and hope, and the boy covered in scars tentatively giving me a hug, a bit awkward at first, but he's a lovely hugger and eventually, awkwardness turns into comfort. without it, i don't think id know what pure, honest love is supposed to look like.

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sorry, i suppose this got quite a bit off track from what got me into aftg, but once i started writing, i couldn't stop.

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TLDR; i saw fanart on pinterest, DONT REPOST ART WITHOUT PERMISSION, and my life was saved and changed for the better by a book that i stumbled upon, purely by chance.

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i don't believe in fate, but i do think that i found these books for a reason, and that my life changed because of it. i suppose you could call it the butterfly effect.

#julian's replies #my story #these books saves my life #thank you #im forever grateful #about julian #tfc #aftg #all for the game #the foxhole court #thefoxholecourt #neil josten #all for the gay #andrew minyard #andreil #andrew joseph minyard #neil abram josten #depression #depression tw #suicide #suicide tw #selfharm #self harm #self harm tw #self harm mention #depression mention #suicide mention #ask julian

[familyvisionis2020]

Day 6 - The Drive Home

Today was the last day of tour. I wake up in the morning feeling guilty because I have a groggy memory of waking up around 8 to go to the bathroom, Paul was waiting to go, but when the person came out I just fronted him (a word I just now remember from elementary school, cut in line, but southern), used the bathroom and went back to bed. Rude. I am wiping the cold from my eye, taking in the undecorated walls of the apartment, and Jeremy comes from down the hall and says ‘Did you get the memo? Louisville cancelled. Tour’s over.” I said ‘fuck’ and processed it. I feel sad for Jeremy and John and Kabir because I know they wanted to play this last show in Kentucky. It’s not that I didn’t, but also for the last three months and for especially the last month I have been feeling a tremendous amount of anxiety about this tour, about feeling out-of-control, about being away from loved ones at home, about being available to show up for people in my life, about completing regular routines of hygiene and spirituality and task completion that make me feel boring and comfortable, both. Touring stirs up dredges of the tea leaves that I had let settle into a fine filmy sediment at the bottom of me. I manufactured a jello mold two years ago and poured myself into it: regular 9-5 in the legal field as a means and precursor to law school, then diligent study for 3 years, then a professional career, abandoning the party life, abandoning trespassing in abandoned buildings, abondoning the luxury of resentment and unproductive time, trying to cool and firm into something reliable, serviceable, dependable, available, a resource people could draw from for once, rather than a leech or slug. And when I go on tour I take that jello mold out of the fridge and it holds its shape but also it warms and the longer I’m out the more liquidy it gets and sloshes over the sides and so forth. So I’m ambivalent because I like what I have to offer to this band, I like the physical process of drumming and expressing myself in the context of music and being a member of a band, but also I feel like I’ve kind of chilled enough and it’s time to settle down. And I’m at a way different point in my life than the other guys in the band it seems like, for the most part. So anyways all this to contextualize the fact that the news of tour ending even earlier than early honestly makes me feel relieved, if not happy, and so then I work to temper that boosted mood for the sake of grim decorum befitting a tour taken before its time. 

All our stuff is locked in the venue from last night and we learn we won’t be able to pick it up until 1pm and so we have about 4 hours to kill in the apartment. Phillip puts on a pot of coffee that will turn out to be some of the wateriest on record, but still, a super kind gesture, and then he also puts on The Wire on HBO Go and we just settle in on the couch and watch for awhile. Some of the scenes are familiar, there’s something seductive about this show, and it brings me back to the precise moment of Summer of 2013 right before I moved to Philadelphia right after I got evicted from the squat/music venue I had been living in that winter and spring, I watched all episodes of The Wire on DVD on Matt Martin’s couch at 3 Pomroy and felt deeply depressed. It ranks up there with when I watched all released episodes of The Office in bed in the winter of 2009 after my girlfriend broke up with me, in terms of memorably devestating life phases offset by the amniotic fluid of full-series of TV. So we watch The Wire and I find myself not too inclined to sit and watch and I want to write so I sit at my laptop on the table nearby and write an email to a female (sorry) but I actually do and its purpose is to make her smile and bring some levity and play and purple prose to a moment in her life that, from how she tells it to me, is just so heavy, nightmares and waking horror and a future that feels like it hangs by a thread. so I’m glad to spend time showing up for her in this small way rather than watching The Wire, and also I write yesterday’s blog post, another activity that feels sort of like a pittance but also like: doing-writing is something I have been putting off, in phases and seasons, for my entire adult life, because to me nothing ever matters enough to write about, or if it does my perspective is deficient, or my research inadequate, or my skill incommensurate with the subject matter, or it won’t properly reflect my feelings, or any number of self-sabotaging excuses to not do this thing I so love doing, and love sharing. So for me, writing this blog is a very meaningful and special act of reclamation of a personal mode of expression that constitutes a break in my winter’s depression and what feels like a new phase of happiness, of believing-i-have-a-future, of feeling more authoratative and qualified to know and describe my own experience in a lifetime marred and dampened by dissociation, oblivion, amnesia, and fugue. So it feels like nourishment to get some paragraphs done and to move slow through my days, get them onto the page.

The Wire grows tiresome at some point and Jeremy fires up the PS4 and then the PS3 looking for games but none are multiplayer and so eventually he settles on Skyrim and starts from a new file. Me personally I love watching let’s plays and this is as good as TV. There was a moment last tour when we were in this strange small town in Connecticut called Torrington (the town all touring bands are required to go to, we also joked), in this town Jeremy was describing the sort of surrealness he experienced there and he said he felt like the townspeople in Torrington were like NPCs in a FPS RPG like Skyrim wherein you would go up to people and press A to talk, say ‘What news?” and that I thought was really funny then, I like his sense of humor. Really Kabir and Jeremy and Royal represent this sort of humor that is to me equal parts razor wit, cleverness, timing, accents, absurdity, and broad conceptual placticity, all for the most part very clean too, never or at least rarely blue (you’re gonna inevitably make a D’s nuts joke and that’s just that). And during happy times I am so grateful to be nearby this humor and during less happy times I get self conscious about how great their humor is and how I sometimes feel like I don’t measure up. But that feeling doesn’t weigh for long. Skyrim is fun to watch, it kills some time, we all take turns trying to kill wolves with swords before Jeremy finally does it, there’s a dragon, we loot corpses, discuss Bloodborne and Dark Souls and comparable games. A lot of the main media activity in this group is discussing how a given media relates to another media, Kabir and Jeremy and John know it seems like everything between the three of them when it comes to record labels, band narratives, artist’s hometowns, etc. So we play Skyrim for awhile, and then eventually it’s time to go to the venue and we drive back to The Salty Nut, load in all our gear, do a final sweep, and say our goodbyes and thankyous to Phillip. We return to the Bandido place one last time for one last round of free local Taco Bell which we absolutely scarf and are very vocally grateful to the people for giving it to us for free again, it’s clear they really put effort into being hospitable to touring bands here, at least through Phillip. His band, Thomas Function, was signed on Fat Possum Records, which also had bigger indie acts like Jay Reatard (who Phillip tells a story about him demanding $50,000 in cash for a show fee to feed his coke and heroin habit, Reatard died at age 29 from cocaine toxicity with alcohol also), The Black Keys, Andrew Bird, Wavves and Soccer Mommy, but which Kabir postulates has most of its success due to having signed octogenarian southern blues legends like R.L. Burnside and King Ernest and raking in royalties from what Kabir speculates is due to poor management of the estates of these dead leagends who each had more than a dozen children. It’s truly fascinating for me to hear how deep and complex the analysis of music these guys have is. When I feel insecure, which is often, I tend to veneer these sorts of expertises and shibboleths among music-heads as snobby, elitist, exclusionary, petty and asinine. But I think most of that comes from a fear that I lack the insight, cognitive absorbency, and passionate research skills to collate and catalog data about artists in the way these people do, the way my bandmates do. I feel inspired to take time to dig deeper into the musicans I love, to make them real to me, to get a sense of their story, their lived experience, for the sake of corroding the mediation between us somewhat, or at least polishing the media membrane. 

I volunteer to drive for the first half of what will end up being about a 10-hour drive back from Huntsville to Chapel Hill. We go to a Whole Foods in Huntsville upon Kabir’s insistence where I purchase a nootropic snakeoil energy affair in beverage form, Kabir gets hot coffee and a La Colombe Draft can of latte, Jeremy gets a kombucha made from yerba mate (“best of both worlds” he says), John black coffee as per, and Kabir also buys a slice of Tres Leches cake in a clear plastic to-go clamshell: “they can take away my tour, but they can’t take away my tres leches.” Later he’s eating it in the van and he accidentally spills some on himself and he says “shit…spilled some on myself. oh good, it was only one leche” which to me is so funny and perfect humor and just like kind of a paragon of the kind of joke I so treasure from this friend group. Another is when Jeremy and Kabir are recalling a favorite running joke from two tours ago, wherein they were in Philly, home to the famous Schuykill River (pronounced skoo-kill, at least when i lived there, at least around the non-indigenous people i knew), and while there they would affect this blaring Brooklyn accent, deployed heavily on this trip as well for basically any purpose, but back then they would say “UGH MY SKOYKL IS KILLING ME” like Schuykill was lombago or sciatica and also would say “YEAH LET ME GET A KWATA POUND OF SKOYKL ON RYE” like it was a deli meat, and they laughed and laughed. Also they liked doing rhyming jokes like last night there was a chair nearby the combo amp Tired Frontier was going to use for their set and Kabir goes ‘amp on the chair, tone everywhere’ and then I say ‘amp on the ground, makes a bad sound’ and then I tell Jeremy later how Kabir would put me in good spirits whenever I was describing to someone how my LSAT score is very competitive but my checkered past makes the acceptance process a little less than straightforward, and Kabir would see I was getting kinda down and anxious, and he would say ‘You gotta break the law before you make the law,’ and we all laugh and I love that, the function of humor as balm, salve. I want to wield my humor like that.

The drive back is fine, some sprinkles, nothing major, clear traffic for the most part, I feel like I have a good command of the van, keep it around 75 for most of the trip, feel smoth and confident switching lanes, passing, etc. We do another two NYT Wednesday classic crosswords together, Kabir is getting probably 40% of the clues, me maybe 30% Jeremy and John the other 30%, Kabir will just to YEAHHHHHHHH after getting a clue and I start doing that too after Jeremy says “X down, ‘on the table’ 15 letters,” and I say UPFORDISCUSSION after only a couple seconds and it fits and is correct and I feel like a damn genius and we’re all laughing and kind of praising each other half-jokingly for being strong beautiful geniuses who also we know songs. This is a great passtime and the drive flies by and before I know it we’re in Western NC just outside of Asheville and we make a stop to refuel the tank and get dinner. We decide on a Waffle House across the street, not wanting to venture too deep into Asheville for something healthier and better because of the time and money it would likely eat up, Kabir says that FEMA uses the closing of Waffle Houses as a bellweather to indicate the severity of a given natural disaster. We go inside, the waitress says ‘ya’ll aren’t from around here are you?’ in a way that I take to be hostile and I suggest that to the guys and they seem like maybe slightly offput but not very much and we decide not to abort and I later feel foolish because I think I am doing this thing where I become excessively vigilant or sensitive to a perceived slight to a friend who is brown for the putative purpose of interceding on their behalf against racism but what’s actually happening is if someone was racist to them they could just stand up for themselves and make their own call regarding their own comfort or lack thereof and I would do better to act less motivated by white guilt when avoidable. That passes, it’s fine, we eat hash browns and waffles and eggs and grits and toast and cover everything in tobasco and tip well and get back on the road, John takes over for the final stretch. 

I return a call from Marty and catch him up about tour being cancelled and we discuss our fears and hysteria and cancellations and reaction and so forth. Marty remarks that he is a gravedigger during the plague, which is the best possible job to have. It’s not a joke because he actually drives a backhoe working for a cemetary and digs actual graves, super weird and eminently punk/goth and kind of a curiosity but really perfect for the lead singer of one of the South’s premiere punk bands, especially after his being fired from the swish cafe he worked at in Richmond before that. I love Marty and catching up and it feels good to hear his voice. After I get off the phone it sort of becomes campfire spooky story time in the van with everyone proffering their take on the panic, market failure, the likelihood of Capitalism as a superstructure to require perpetual growth even at the peril or death of its working class, the superior response to covid that South Korea and Norway seem to have mounted, a lot of fear of financial insecurity. Eventually this digresses to talk of touring, and the guys discuss all manner of various routes throught the South, Midwest, Northeast, plains states, PNW, Mexico City, Jeremy says ‘I can get us a show in Colombia’ which he can, Argentina or Venezuela through a mutual friend, then Europe so long as the label foots the bill for the plane ticket, then Japan, setting up camp on Honshu would make it easy to hit TOkyo, Kyoto, Osaka and Nagoya no problem, except where exactly are people playing shows? there’s gotta be somewhere all these Japanese Noise and Hardcore bands are getting gigs, and then from there of course it’s not hard to get to Australia, John knows a band there, and they go all around the world and this is stressing me out a little bit, only because I wonder about how much they think I would be involved or want to go on such a theoretical tour, and the answer is I don’t 100% know. Part of me wants to say this is my last tour, lean all the way in to law school and leave behind this chapter. Part of me feels like it’s better not to make a hard and fast statement like that because what if the economy collapses and for some reason school is a no-go but being in the band becomes the most plausible source of income or something. I get anxious and psych myself out and quiet down and feel foolish and wish to be home. I fantasize about my future life of stability, but I second guess myself because I just don’t know for sure how my life will be, and want to be careful to work toward the goals I think will be the most fulfilling, self-actualizing, spiritually nourishing, healthy for me; I also want to not forsake the friendships and bonds I’ve forged in these weird intimate moments in the van with the guys. I have the wherewithal to know that nobody is requiring me to make a decision right this second, and that as time passes it’s likely that the best course of action will be revealed one way or another if I can keep from panicking. So I watch videos of the 2019 Classic Tetris World Championships on my phone, eat two candy bars, watch videos of a streamer named Wumbotize play the latest Tetris game, Tetris Effect (2018, PS4, PC), and am pleasantly awed by how crazily far the skill curve of that game has shot up. I have some time ahead of me that is completely free, which is so nice. Before I know it I’m back home in my clean apartment which is tidy like a tetris field at the beginning of a new game and I get into my bed and lay down flat and if my bed is the well than the line of me clears and the well is clean, smooth, primed, for whatever falls tomorrow. 

[bbclesmis]

Can the BBC’s Les Misérables do justice to Victor Hugo’s epic novel?

Few who love Les Mis the musical have read its source: a 1,500-page Victor Hugo novel. As the BBC tackles the book, David Bellos explains why it’s such a popular text to adapt.

The Sunday Times, December 16 2018, 12:01am

At dawn on June 19, 1815, in a muddy Belgian field where Napoleon has just lost his last battle, a scavenger filches the watch and purse of a dying soldier; a few weeks later, a long-term inmate of Toulon jail is released with a yellow passport and 109 francs. That’s where interlocking stories of Les Misérables begin, with Thénardier robbing the father of Marius, and Valjean setting off towards Digne.

If you think the magic of Les Mis comes mainly from the operatic version by Boublil and Schönberg, wait until you see the new adaptation by Andrew Davies, drawn from the book and not, like Tom Hooper’s 2012 film, from the musical, which leaves out most of Hugo’s novel’s story and doesn’t even mention the Battle of Waterloo. Davies’s script begins at the beginning, and the director, Tom Shankland, makes a truly memorable opener out of it.

Any adaptation of Les Misérables stands in a global tradition of spin-offs in every medium. In the cinema alone, there are about 70 full-length Misérables, in languages as varied as Russian, Farsi and Arabic. In Japan, there has been an independent strain of Mis-mania, expressed in manga and animé, for 100 years.

It’s not hard to see why Les Misérables is so much more attractive to dramatists than any other novel of the 19th century. Despite long passages of historical and philosophical discussion, Hugo’s saga of the poor has a simple narrative arc. It tells the redemptive life story of the former convict Valjean, from his release at Toulon to his death in Paris 20 years later. And, despite the sufferings that fill its pages, it is an optimistic story of how a man from the bottom of the pile may aspire to goodness and achieve it through persistence and sacrifice (plus the kind of luck that novels can invent). That’s dramatic enough.

Hugo was also a dramatist of genius. He created grand scenes ready for staging. The candlestick episode at Digne; the courtroom in Arras, where Valjean gives himself up to save an innocent man; the hold-up in Boulevard de l’Hôpital and Valjean’s escape from it; and the opening vision of a vulture-like thief robbing a dead man the morning after the greatest battle ever fought. Nearly all these great scenes feature a hero, part Hercules, part Christ, who defines himself through actions, not through thoughts and words. In fact, Valjean hardly says a word to himself, and not many to other people, either.

This leaves adapters and directors free to create their own image of this mythical figure. We’ve had a Valjean who looks like a tramp (the rough-hewn Harry Baur in Raymond Bernard’s 1934 film) and one who looks like a banker (in the Japanese TV serial), alongside handsome young men (Fredric March, Liam Neeson) and an action-movie star (Jean-Paul Belmondo) who had trouble pretending to be the right age. What we’ve not had is a Valjean who looks like Hugo: a short, broad-shouldered man in late middle age, in remarkably good physical shape. Despite being too tall, Dominic West, in this new TV version, comes closer than most. Les Misérables is not autobiographical (Hugo never went to prison, got buried alive or went down the sewers), but the writer’s moral self-identification with the suffering hero is one of the fundamental strengths of his book.

It was destined for the stage from the start. Even before the last volumes went on sale in July 1862, Charles Hugo, the writer’s son, began drafting a stage spectacular. A script doctor was hired to get it into shape for its premiere in Brussels in January 1863. It still flopped. But, published as a book, it influenced adaptations as to what to cut and keep.

The addition of music also has roots older than the West End musical version. Almost as soon as the first American translation of the novel appeared, a dramatist called Albert Cassedy dashed off Fantine, or The Fate of a Grisette, a popular opera with a score by Charles Koppitz. Music also plays an overlooked role in the novel: the tune Cosette practises on her piano- organ and the songs sung by schoolgirls in the Champs-Elysées, by convicts on tumbrils, by students in restaurants, hummed by a hunter in the woods and shouted out by an urchin on his way to the barricade, make up a concert programme of popular music in 19th-century France. It’s time to dust these off and perform them as the music Hugo had in his head.

Britain has had an unhappy relationship with Hugo’s epic tale because its authorised translation, by a retired military gentleman with his own views about what happened at Waterloo, was a complete disaster. For legal reasons, no new version could be brought out for decades thereafter. It didn’t help that the translation was available only in a costly hardback format.

Les Misérables reached its real audience in Britain through stage plays, and it’s amazing to see just how many there were: Charity, by CH Hazlewood, “founded on Victor Hugo’s story of Les Misérables”, was performed in London in November 1862; then came Jean Valjean, by Harry Seymour, Clarance Holt’s Out of Evil Cometh Good, in 1867, and many more. They concentrated heavily on Part I of Hugo’s five-part novel. The battle scene at Waterloo in Part II and the “revolutionary” stories of Parts IV and V seem to have been ignored most of the time.

In Russia, too, Tolstoy’s retelling of Les Misérables in simple language focused on Bishop Myriel’s charitable gift of silver to a rough customer. It was this fable-like episode, transposed into English by Norman McKinnel as The Bishop’s Candlesticks in 1908, that was turned into a silent short film by Herbert Brenon in 1913, which was then remade with a soundtrack in 1929. It never stopped, leaving Andrew Davies with a rich inheritance to renew — and to overturn. But he keeps one of the glitches that early translators made and that all Hollywood movie versions retain: he has Valjean steal the bishop’s silver cutlery, whereas in the novel he steals his silver plates (the French word “couvert” having changed its meaning).

One reason why Les Misérables has been remade in so many languages and periods is sex, or, more precisely, its total absence. It wasn’t prudery that kept Hugo off the topic. (He had plenty of experience, to put it politely.) But Les Misérables is about justice, social morality, crime, punishment, the meaning of history and the full potential of human life.

It’s true that old Gillenormand boasts of his past as a rake, but at 90 years of age, he’s long past acting out. It’s also true that Fantine becomes a prostitute — but Hugo deals with the episode in just seven words. Adaptations that put sex into the story express not what Hugo wrote about, but what some audiences are expected to find alluring.

On the other hand, a belief in the existence of a god is integral to the book’s meaning. Deeply sceptical of the Catholic church, Hugo omits Christian artefacts and rituals (including midnight Mass at Montfermeil and the church wedding of Cosette and Marius) to a degree that is almost comical in a panorama of 19th-century life, but he insisted that Les Misérables was a religious work. The prismatic glint of sunlight through foliage that Shankland deploys in the new BBC version, to show the start of Valjean’s conversion after robbing Petit-Gervais, seems to me an intelligent and respectful way of hinting at what Hugo meant.

One of the more puzzling aspects of Les Misérables and its flourishing international afterlife is its exclusive focus on France. There’s not a single foreigner among the 120 named characters in the novel; barring occasional remarks about London, Poland and the United States, Les Misérables talks exclusively about the history, politics, social structure and social ills of the country that Hugo considered to be top nation for all time, namely his own.

Though largely written in Guernsey and initially published in Belgium, the book was written for the French by a man whose long exile had no foreseeable end. Its first translator into Italian requested permission to cut historical passages because “there are some Italians, rather a lot in fact, who say: ‘This book, Les Misérables, is a French book. It is not about us. Let the French read it as history, let us read it as a novel.’”

Permission was refused. The intensity and completeness of this exposition of the social ills in 19th-century France effectively turned that now mythical place into a stand-in for the whole world. You can’t blame Hugo for not being in tune with 21st-century ideas of the politically correct, but you have to admire him for standing outside the conventions of his day.

His response to the translator has a prophetic sense, and answers in advance the question of why his French-focused masterpiece continues to attract readers, fans and adapters all over the world: “I do not know whether [my book] will be read by all, but I wrote it for everyone... Social problems go beyond borders. The sores of the human race, these running sores that cover the globe, don’t stop at red or blue lines drawn on the map. Wherever men are ignorant and desperate, wherever women sell themselves for bread, wherever children suffer for want of instruction or a warm hearth, Les Misérables knocks on the door and says, ‘Open up, I have come for you.’”

David Bellos is the author of The Novel of the Century: The Extraordinary Adventure of Les Misérables (Penguin £10.99). Les Misérables starts on BBC1 on Dec 30 at 9pm; Dominic West is interviewed in the Magazine next Sunday

‘The Glums’: a potted history

● The full text of Les Misérables in the right order of reading was not available to British readers until 2008, in a version by the Australian writer Julie Rose.

● In 1897, the Lumière brothers shot a one-minute reel of a quick-change artist masquerading as Hugo, Valjean, Thénardier, Marius and Javert. This was the first time fiction had ever appeared on celluloid film.

● Victor Hugo’s wife, Adèle, operated as publicity manager for the novel’s launch. She created a poster campaign featuring illustrations of the main characters, making the novel’s imminent appearance known long before its publication. Nothing like that had been done before. She also had announcements prepared for newspapers and requested that they were held back from publication until she gave the signal, making Les Misérables probably the first work launched under embargo.

● When Hugo was ready to publish Les Misérables in 1862, he secured the publishing deal of all time: in today’s terms, he was paid about £3m as an advance on a contract allowing the publisher Albert Lacroix to print the book for just eight years. Lacroix had to get a huge bank loan to finance the book.

● Charles Dickens met Hugo in Paris in 1847, visiting his splendid apartment on Place Royale. There is not a trace of the event in Hugo’s records, which suggests the British author didn’t make a strong impression on the literary star of his day. In Dickens’s eyes, though, Hugo looked “like the Genius he was”.

● Hugo’s contemporaries weren’t all taken with his novel: “This book is written for catholico-socialist shitheads and for the philosophico-evangelical ratpack,” Gustave Flaubert wrote to a friend.

● When Hugo fled France in 1851, both his sons were in prison and Louis-Napoléon — Napoléon III — was his sworn enemy. “Because we had Napoléon le Grand, do we have to have Napoléon le Petit?” he quipped.

● Les Misérables has been adapted for radio and cinema more times than any other novel.

● Classical literary French had a restricted vocabulary. Racine got by with about 2,000 words. Hugo uses about 20,000 different words in the 630,000 words of the text of Les Misérables — maybe as many as in all of Shakespeare working in English, which has a much larger vocabulary in the first place.

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/magazine/culture/can-the-bbcs-les-miserables-do-justice-to-victor-hugos-epic-novel-50wtqgvdj?t=ie

#les mis bbc #bbc les mis #articles #David Bellos #victor hugo #spoilers #episode 1

[kyloren]

would you love me tomorrow (like you say you love me now)

summary: With or without the jacket, the memory knelled over and over, an echoing reverberation permanently affixed in the passageways between the archives of his mind, gnawing at him like a church bell’s toll, you’re a Serpent.

Or, Jughead brings Betty up to speed.

read it on ao3. 

“All I know is the way I feel

Whenever you’re around. 

You’re got a way of lifting me up, 

Instead of bringing me down.”

— Fleetwood Mac, Love In Stone.  

PART ONE: you gave me your name and sight with a halo around my eye  

There was a sound of a rhythmic rapt of knuckles against the window-pane, and even before she threw open the curtains and pulled up the bottom panel, Betty already knew whose face she’d see. 

“Jug,” she breathed out in greeting, equal parts pleased and surprised by his unexpected appearance; a shy smile already creeping onto her face. “What are you doing here?” 

Her boyfriend gave jouncy shrug in lieu of an actual answer and then tilted his head, catching her questioning gaze with a darkly glinting eye. The strange expression he bore but moments prior melted into a smirk.

“Arise, fair sun,” he recited, swinging one long leg over the windowsill and slipping into her room with noiseless familiarity, “and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief that thou her maid art far more fair than she.” 

“Oh, hush, Romeo,” Betty whispered, grinning, and, walking backwards, pulled Jughead further into the room by the wrist. “You don’t want to wake my mom up, do you?”

Truthfully, both of her parents had already doused their habitual dose of Valium and settled down for the night near an hour ago, but Polly was downstairs and half-binging half-napping through a comedy show on Netflix; and it would not be the first time since she returned from Thornhill when, startled by a weird noise, she would panic and rouse the entire Cooper household in her wake. Jughead Jones sneaking about in Betty’s bedroom could definitely constitute as a source of a ‘weird noise’. Thus, Betty, preferring to err on the side of caution, quickly made her way towards her door and locked it.

She turned, half-expecting his mouth to be either twisted into a wry, knowing grin, tongue ready with a tart quip, or for it to slide against her own in a seamless kiss, locking them together for a good half-an-hour in a haze of ardour and romance. Instead, Betty found Jughead directing a thousand-yard stare at her floral wallpaper and absently fingering a thick, gold ribbon she’d wrapped in a bow around a parchment lampshade of her bedside light.

The soft, blue-tinged glow cast ghoulish shadows on his features, highlighting the hollows of his cheeks, the sharp cut of his jaw, and the dark, sooty bruises lining his pale eyes.

Jughead Jones, her boyfriend and possibly-maybe-definitely her soulmate, was darksome and handsome, even at his broodiest. Jughead Jones, the distrait boy in front of her, was sunken-eyed and weary, and twice as pondersome than usual. A troubling picture, indeed.

When she called his name, he did not stir.

What had he been thinking, coming here?

“Jughead?”

Was he thinking at all? Highly unlikely, as he was at an unexpected point of his life when seeking out Betty had become instinctual. 

“Jug, you’re scaring me.”

He should not have come here.

But as it often was with all things pertaining to one Betty Cooper, the should of Jughead’s life — that meta-thinking part of him which dissected and compartmentalised his life into digestible segments as if it was a constructible narrative; the part that disassociated Jughead from his own problems as a way to make them bearable and replaced the friendless outsider descriptor with the objective observer in his own book; yes, that integral part of Jughead Jones that kept him sane and resentment-free all those years by turning his feelings of alienation into something productive, something he could work with, by ceaselessly insisting that he did not want other people to understand him and he only ever needed himself — went out the window with a sharp whistle and a parting buddy, you’re in too deep. 

“Jug,” Betty’s voice finally pierced the fog of his thoughts as she laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Jug, you all right?”

Jughead’s head snapped up sharply, startled. His eyes locked with Betty’s, and he could see the frantic look he bore mirror itself on her face, bleached bone-pale by the streaming moonlight and hauntingly lovely.

With or without the jacket, the memory knelled over and over, an echoing reverberation permanently affixed in the passageways between the archives of his mind, gnawing at him like a church bell’s toll, you’re a Serpent. 

“Just peachy,” he quipped, reflexively.

“Jug,” Betty pressed, stepping into his personal space, her fingers burning a path from his shoulder to his sternum. “Talk to me. Please.” 

A pause hung between them like the waxing crescent outside. Then: 

“There’s a distinct possibility,” Jughead began, slowly and with a resigned sigh; deliberately choosing his words for minimal emotional damage, “that you may…have been…onto something. About the Serpents. About what they…and the jacket…may mean…for me.”

“Jug?”

He hated himself for putting a furrow in her brow and the wavering edge to her tone, but this needed to be addressed. I want to know all of you, she’d insisted and Jughead had never had the willpower to deny Betty anything. 

This is me, he thought, this is who I am. Living on the wrong side of luck, the left edge of danger; tethering on the fringes of an abyssal, depthless cliff. 

With a soft sigh, he pulled off his beanie, tucking it into a pocket of his denim-jacket, and ran a shaky hand through his damp hair. “Babe, I gotta initiate the Full Disclosure Protocol.”

Betty’s eyes widened; in the moonlighted, twilit bedroom, the vivid brightness of them glowed — they tethered him. 

The Full Disclosure Protocol was exactly what it said on the tin — full disclosure, no judgement and no interruptions. They had drafted it in the wake of Jughead’s disastrous birthday celebrations — complete, thorough, and unsurprisingly legally sound, because of course the two of them would utilise legislative language in a pact to facilitate their relationship. 

Betty had employed it several times — for the most part to discuss her anxiety issues, the incident with Chuck Clayton, threatening to boil him alive in a hot-tub and promptly forgetting all about that, and, as always, Being a Cracked Cooper™. Jughead, only once — in the wake of his father’s arrest, divulging everything about Toledo, his mother, and the life he would never have.

So Betty nodded, biting her lip anxiously, her heart atwitter, and led her boyfriend towards her bed, pushing him to sit on it with a gentle palm against a bared clavicle. She focused her eyes on that pale strip of skin as she perched next to him, knocking their knees together when he shifted to face her. She watched, transfixed, as Jughead’s adam’s apple bobbed once, then twice, and her eyes lingered on the side of his neck, where a triangle of moles rested, and on the stray, inky curls twisting around his nape.

Reluctantly pulling her eyes away, she focused them on the angled planes of his face instead, and self-consciously tugged on the hem of her skirt and smoothed out the imagined wrinkles of her cardigan. Then:

“All right,” she said after taking a deep breath. “Proceed.”

As he always became when it came to emotional vulnerability, Jughead’s explanation was succinct and matter-of-fact, grimly veracious if a little dry.

He began like this, tone as cool and detached as his expression: “I postulated the attack at Fred Andrews could have been personal. Upon sharing this hypothesis with Archie, he theorised it might have a rogue Serpent with a drudge. So I called Viper and asked him to look into it. 

“He did.”

As he explained whom and what he’d found waiting for him in the trailer earlier that evening, Jughead involuntarily reflected on his father and the entailment of his legacy. Serpents take care of their own, F.P. had avowed. Jughead had been cognisant of the moral implications of that statement in the abstract way one was intellectually aware of quantum physics — better not to think on it too much lest you get a skull-splitting headache.

Now, though, his mind was caught in a double think: the ethical line was as stark as a high-contrast shot in a film noir, as homogeneously grey as a winter skyline. 

“Hence, I spent the last three hours scrubbing out another man’s blood out of the carpeting because I hadn’t been careful enough with my words,” Jughead concluded the account. 

Betty let out a shaky breath he hadn’t realised she’d been holding. “They roughed-up a man because—”

“Because I asked them to,” Jughead cut in, the sight of bloodied brass-knuckles and the stead dripdripdrip of viscous gore seared into his eyelids. Persistently taunting him each time he blinked. 

Immediately, Betty grasped his hands with her own, squeezing them tightly. Jughead could feel the fine bones of her fingers pressing alongside his own. “No. No, don’t be like that. It’s not your fault.” 

Jughead tilted his head, still not looking at her directly. “Perhaps,” he acquiesced, half-heartedly, “but it is my responsibility.” 

Some part of him must have suspected — had to have suspected — it could end in blood; otherwise the events of this night had completely blindsided him, and that was beyond exceptionable and more than utterly intolerable. Such lack of anticipation would mean he had not thought everything through, had not deliberated his actions three steps ahead like he always did, and such blind, over-trusting gullibility was inexcusable.  

Serpents take care of their own. 

Well, Jughead thought, darkly, talk about a double entendre.  

Betty gave his fingers a brief squeeze and Jughead realised with a start that she had neither let go of his hand nor averted her gaze from his face. An overwhelming wave of tender fondness for her surged through him. “Jesus, Jug, they basically made you into their crime boss, haven’t they?”

“Well, technically,” corrected Jughead, because of course he had to, “I’m more of a Michael to my Dad’s Vito — and, yeah, judging from your horrified expression that was a bad analogy. Trust me, Betts, I won’t go the route of good-man-turned-bad. And if by misfortune of fate, I do — you should dump me faster than a used Kleenex.” 

“Shut. Up,” Betty exclaimed, a tad more vehemently than he’d expected, and, grabbing a throw pillow from behind him, hit Jughead twice over the head with it, punctuating her words. “Nobody is breaking up with anybody any time soon, and if you know what’s good for you, Jughead Jones, you better not entertain that train of thought again.”  

“I yield, I yield,” Jughead gasped and fell backwards onto Betty’s bed, laughing inexplicably. “Corporal Cooper, you have purged me of treasonous thoughts.” 

“I had better,” Betty huffed and gave an affected sniff. She looked at him then, laying on his back on top of her mountain of throw-pillows, hands resting across his abdomen, and gaze searching for answers her ceiling did not have. 

Her gaze softened. Jughead wasn’t his father or the Serpents or like anyone else she knew. Jughead was Jughead, and…

And she loved him and she was in love with him; these were the irrefutable facts. That alone was enough. 

With that in mind, Betty crawled up the bed and slid up next to her boyfriend, inserting herself into his space, and, wrapping an arm around his waist, tucked her head in the crook of his neck. 

“This doesn’t change anything,” she whispered, hotly and full of surety, “I love you and I meant what I said earlier — I’m not going anywhere, not even if you ask.”

That’s what I’m afraid of, he wanted to say, but did not. Instead, Jughead angled down his head and slid his mouth against her own in a lingering kiss. It was deep and slow and very sweet, much like the one they shared earlier that afternoon. It melted his fears away. It made her never want to stop. 

Except they had and when she sighed, Jughead pressed a his lips against the crown of her golden head, whispering I love you, too; and Betty felt the shimmering ardour inside of her upsurge into a searing blaze, like it had two days ago, fervid and flaming and unstoppable.  

She smiled up at him, bright and sweet, and laced her fingers through his, tight and true. 

“I love you,” she repeated, and kissed him again. 

note: I tried to write this as an exercise to get over my huge writer’s block, but I’m not sure I succeeded. Part two will come as soon as I actually write it. Now, excuse me, I have episode two to watch. 

#bughead #bughead fanfiction #otp: bathed in sunlight; drenched in shadows #character: jughead jones #character: betty cooper #pairing: jughead x betty #tv: riverdale #in this tag resides fanfiction #♔: victrix #stark writes #riverdale fanfiction #*

[creativitytoexplore]

Everything Old Is New Again: An Interview With Co-Web Editor Adam Soto https://ift.tt/2WdSDbp

Writer and editor Adam Soto has long been a part of American Short Fiction‘s editorial team. As one of our assistant editors, he regularly read submission to the journal, wrote copious feedback for authors, and helped determine which stories would ultimately appear in our print edition. So, when we made the decision to bring on another web editor this spring, Adam was a natural choice for the role. This month, he joins our longtime web editor Erin McReynolds as our website’s co-editor, and together, they’ll determine which stories are published here at ASF Online. I recently emailed with Soto to ask about his work, his approach to editing, and his aspirations for the magazine.

—

Nate Brown: Adam, we’re so thrilled that after having served as an assistant editor with us for so long that you’re stepping up to the plate as a new web editor who’ll be working alongside web editor Erin McReynolds. While we know you around these parts—you’ve been a member of Austin’s literary community and of our team for years—I want to start by asking you about your own fiction writing. You’ve got a novel coming out next year. Can you tell us a bit about it?

Adam Soto: Joining ASF was one of the first things I did after coming to Austin, and it’s really been like being part of a family, so I’m really grateful for all the time I’ve had with organization, all the stories I’ve read through the years, and I’m really moved to have the opportunity to contribute more to what the journal is doing, which is something special. 

The novel is called This Weightless World, and it’s out on MCD/FSG fall 2021. It’s a sentimental sci-fi, a kind of Contact for misanthropic millennials. January 1, 2012, Earth detects an alien signal from a planet 75 lightyears away and a group of characters—a Chicago Public School teacher; one of his students, a musical prodigy; and his ex, a programmer who dumped him for a gig at Google—anticipate a major paradigm shift, an alternative to late stage capitalism, the neighborhood’s cycle of violence, an escape from their own personal guilt. I mean, aliens are supposed to be game changers, right? Habit, human nature, laziness, and fear, however, prove to be a greater obstacle than the 75 lightyears between us and them, and when the planet suddenly falls silent, leaving us alone in the universe once again, collapsing the distance between who we are and who we hope to be feels harder than ever. While the characters sort out their lives, our planet’s biological clock keeps ticking, our dependence on technology distorts our sense of reality, and our most vulnerable continue going mostly ignored. If all of that sounds too depressing, I should add that there are also loving pen-pal letters and lyrical dispatches from deep space woven throughout.    

NB: It’s funny, Adam, but I remember you from back in your Iowa City days, when you and my wife, Thea, were MFA students at the Iowa Writers’ Workshop. Was this a project you were working on back then, or is the novel more recent than that? And how does the novel compare to the work you were writing then? 

AS: I remember the two of you as well. I started the novel on January 1, 2012, so, right before the start of my last semester at Iowa. Marilynne Robinson was going to be teaching a novel workshop in the spring, we’d all been in a novella seminar with Peter Orner, so all of my friends had suddenly pivoted from writing short stories to writing novels, and I thought, I wanna get me some of that!

I was staying with my parents for the holidays, and I had a dream featuring an image and a wordless interpretation. I saw this fuchsia-colored planet and felt that not only I but the whole human race was being shunned and shamed by it, like the planet was Earth’s twin and we just weren’t going to be friends. With absolutely nothing else to go on, I set up my laptop in my parent’s kitchen, took a look around the room, and typed the first thing that came to mind. “So, this dude wakes up on Jan. 1, 2012…” Most of my work, up to that point, had focused on alienating readers. They were mainly plotless, kind of nihilistic, and tried really hard to redeem themselves with lots of catchy sentences. It had never occurred to me that I could cut back on my affect and keep alienation as subject matter. It took me three whole drafts (re-written, top to bottom) and four years to figure out what the story was about, three years working with my amazing agent, Marya Spence, to turn an 800+ page sprawling tome into an actual novel, and it’ll be another year and a half before my editor, Danny Vazquez, and the rest of the team at MCD/ FSG and I turn it over to the public.

NB: Did you have any particularly great workshops or instructors at Iowa? What ideas about writing have stuck with you? And for those considering an MFA program, do you have any advice on what they should expect to take away from the experience? 

AS: My very first workshop there was with the late James Alan McPherson. He was so funny, sage, and generous, and my workshop group became my best friends. Peter Orner was also very inspiring. He taught me a lot about teaching and reading. Teaching and writing were the natural byproducts of reading and paying attention to others for Peter, and this has proven vital to me as a middle-school English teacher. Michelle Huneven, however, changed my life. The way I saw it, I was just this kid who got into this really nice writing program for one reason or another, but, somehow, Michelle took me seriously and told me to take myself seriously. There’s no shortage of people taking themselves seriously in MFA programs, so, I guess my advice is to expect to find something out about yourself. A lot of people find out they don’t like teaching; hell, some people find out they don’t like writing that much, at least not enough to spend the rest of their lives trying to get published. Either way, no matter your age, or where you’re coming from, you’ve got to let the MFA years be formative in some way.

Back in the day, there used to be this expectation that you could join a program and graduate with a book deal, or at least a “cushy” teaching gig that’d hold you off until you got a book deal, and because it was more of a rite of passage, these programs could get away with being deeply unfeeling. I felt nurtured and supported, but I know a lot of people who didn’t and who don’t. But I think if everyone comes in expecting more, and if everyone is willing to accept that that something more probably isn’t going to be more book deals—taking on publishing is a whole other nightmare—then I think a lot of the criticisms of MFA programs could be addressed, and not just by faculty and directors but by the student communities that hold them accountable. Because there’s no real promise for what you can expect, especially from program to program, until you start laying out those expectations. For starters, funding and diversity.

NB: In addition to writing, a big part of editorial work is reading submissions. What kind of work grabs you? What excites you? What do you love coming across in submissions? 

AS: I like something that commits. Something that assures me that it wants to tell me something, even if it’s reluctant to, even if it fails to. Commitment is huge. To voice, a structural procedure, a deep study of character, a memory being pulled apart, a woolgathering.  

NB: Our web exclusive stories have long been capped at 2,000 words (though this is changing), and I’m wondering what you think the short form—whatever you may call them: flash fiction, micro fiction, short-shorts—offer that longer works do not? What are the advantages of really short work?  

AS: Whenever I get a new album, I always start with listening to the longest song. With short story collections, I always start with the shortest story. This is something I’ve done forever. Whatever they’re called, I’ve always been attracted to these brief things, and, over the years, reading them, writing them, I’ve come to appreciate their different intended effects. You read one of Babel’s Red Cavalry Stories and the story’s length isn’t really the first thing you notice. Similar to your feelings after a shorty by Chekhov, you’re struck by the wholeness of the experience, the funny asymmetry, the dropped details—as in the details the writer does and does not drop. Compare that to a sprint by Thomas Bernhard, one of Lydia Davis’s illuminating punchlines, or a haunting by Peter Orner, and I think you get a mixture of dedications to singular things, which is rare in our Wikipedic, FOMA world. And the fact that that one thing can be so many different things—grief’s manipulation of time, light’s impression on a memory, an anecdote, extensive alliteration—is really a gift. Such dedication taken to greater lengths is often awkward or dull until it ventures into the obsessive and becomes genius again.      

NB: Are there writers whose stories you find yourself returning to over time? If so, who are those folks, and which stories do you think demand re-reading? 

AS: Mavis Gallant, constantly, and especially her early and long story “The Cost of Living.” I love that long story for its failure to commit, for dragging out what it means to say for pages and pages, for pretty much being a 36-page novel. Leonard Michaels’s Nachman stories and his list story “In the Fifties.” Anything from Joy Williams’s Escapes, but especially “White” over and over again. Andrey Platonov’s “The Motherland of Electricity” (it teaches you how to build a generator), James Alan McPherson’s “The Silver Bullet,” and, more recently, Sara Majka’s “Saint Andrews Hotel,” “Especially Heinous” by Carmen Maria Machado, and Brandon Taylor’s ASF story, “As Though That Were Love.”  

NB: Jesus, there’s so much good work in there. That Brandon Taylor story has really stayed with me. I taught it at Johns Hopkins last semester, and it made a couple of students (and me) cry. Taylor has so much to say about loneliness and the unbridgeable spaces that exist between people, even those who are dear friends. Come to think of it, the Williams, McPherson, and Majka stories you mention are sort of about that, too. Would you say that the tension between isolation and collectivity, between personal spaces and social spaces are of interest to you? Based on what you’ve said about your own novel, that seems central in that work, too.  

AS: Yes, definitely, definitely, the isolated and the collective, isolated collectives, and, now that we’re all getting a taste, the collectively isolated. And that tension, too, I think you’re right, between the singular and the collective, I’ve always been fascinated by where it pops up, how places and moments of intimacy can leave us feeling so isolated, how fractured our alliances and coalitions can be, how hard it is to come together behind a common goal. But most of all, over the years I’ve become obsessed with characters who, against their better judgment, still seek community, and I’m really attracted to the tensions that arise when those seekers interrogate their intentions or test the authenticity of their communities. One of the unique features of our world today is our ability to not only witness but quantifiably measure the efforts being made by ourselves and others as we vie for each other’s communion—it’s something both beautiful and grotesque. And that reality really takes the characters in TWW for a ride, from pulling them out of their recessional depression to overloading them with worldly concerns to leaving them feel completely isolated. 

NB: American Short Fiction has been around since 1991. Why do you think that journals like ours—large and small, from all parts of the country and the world—abide? What role do you think we play in the broader literary culture, and has that role changed over time? 

AS: Like the few healthy corners of the internet, lit journals are places for spaceless communities, folks looking for a common thing; in our case, a certain flavor of fiction. With every issue, you’re excited to share in the discovery of someone new, eager to read someone familiar, and happy to sustain the practice of an old art form. And before the internet, and now through the internet, lit journals have always offered deeply reflective but also relatively immediate reactions to the worlds we live in, which is something I’m excited to play a part in as a web editor. As a utility, we broaden the spectrum of representation in culture, and although our nets require wider and wider casting, what we discover here increases the expectations we have for other literary institutions, as well as the world at large. 

    Adam Soto is a co-web editor at American Short Fiction. He holds an MFA from the Iowa Writers’ Workshop and is a former Michener-Copernicus Foundation fellow. He lives with his wife in Austin, TX, where he is a teacher and a musician. His debut novel, This Weightless World, is forthcoming from MCD/ FSG fall 2021. 

#American Short Fiction

[packernet]

New Post has been published on https://www.packernet.com/blog/2020/04/23/final-mock-draft/

Final Mock Draft

I did a mock on the podcast earlier this week but considering I just released my final big board it makes sense to at least use it once to do a FINAL final mock draft. But enough with the formalities…

1. Bengals – Joe Burrow QB LSU

If this isn’t Burrow, all bets are off on this draft and this will go down as one of the biggest draft stunners in a long time.

2. Redskins – Chase Young EDGE Ohio State

I would say there is a slightly higher chance of a shocker here, especially with rumors that the Redskins are currently being offered some pretty sizable offers, but I’m still fairly confident this is the pick.

3. TRADE: Dolphins Receive Pick 3. Lions Receive Pick 5 and 26 Dolphins – Tua Tagovailoa QB Alabama

According to the trade charts, this is a massive over payment as a 2nd round pick would more than suffice but teams are pushing really hard to move up and the Dolphins will likely have to give up another first to get this done. Also, it makes round one more interesting so here we are. As for the pick, I feel as though I shouldn’t really need to elaborate. There are rumors that they are going to trade up for an OT, but that is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Not that it isn’t going to happen… just saying it’s stupid.

4. Giants – Jedrick Wills OT Alabama

The pick makes sense for several reasons. First, despite talk of other needs, tackle should be at or near the top. Add in the love Gettleman has for trench guys as well as big guys, the only real intersection of those factors is Wills and Becton. Wills is ranked #8 on my latest board. Becton is 14.

5. Lions – Jeffrey Okudah CB Ohio State

I’ve always felt a little iffy on this pick for several reasons and wouldn’t be surprised at all if they go another direction but at the very least it gives the Lions the ability to have to have a lock down corner group headed up by Okudah, with Trufant and the #2, and Coleman, who had success in Seattle, as their nickle corner.

6. Chargers – Justin Herbert QB Oregon

It’s a new era for the Chargers. Assuming they like Herbert, this is cut and dried. On the flip side, how many games does this team win with that terrible OL, Tyrod Taylor at QB, and a continually decreasing defense? My guess is not many. With that, I would probably draft either Simmons, Brown, or an OT and see what we can do at QB next year.

That’s me though, not what I expect the Chargers to do.

7. Panthers – Isaiah Simmons LB Clemson

The Panthers have a lot of needs but as I said in my mock earlier this week, this pick feels right. The guy who was fired the same year he drafted Luke Kuechly is now back with the Panthers and has the opportunity to draft the next freak LB.

8. TRADE: Jets Receive Pick 8. Cardinals Receive Pick 11 and 79 (3rd) Jets – Andrew Thomas OT Georgia

First off, there has been talk about a lot of teams looking to move down including the Cardinals but with who? Most will look to the Falcons with all the rumors of moving up but they aren’t going to do it just to do it. Rumor is they want to get up to 2 for Chase and I would guess they’d be willing to move up for Okudah but with them gone I’m not going to just move up for anyone. Henderson and Chaisson are great options but I’m not going up to 8 for them.

That leaves the fact that there are some top tier tackles available and the Jets feel the need to get up in front of the Jaguars and Browns, both OL needy teams, to get their guy who in this case I’m going to say is Thomas. I do have Wirfs higher on my board but I’m sticking with my gut.

9. Jaguars – Derrick Brown DT Auburn

This is a really tough pick. My first thought is to watch for Jacksonville to trade up because they have a ton of ammo including 2 1st round picks and 3 4th round picks. That said it really just came down to OT or DT. My hang up with OT is the fact that we’ve invested in a RT just last year and LT the year before. They aren’t good but are we giving up already? Beyond that, Brown is the better player, we love strong DL’s, we are getting thin there and might lose Ngakoue. We’ll be responsible and take the best available.

10. TRADE: Falcons Receive 10. Browns Receive 16 and 78 (3rd) Falcons – Javon Kinlaw DL South Carolina

The rumor about the falcons is that they want to trade up for an impact defender. In my book that’s a corner or pass rusher. Kinlaw, in my book, qualifies as a pass rusher. If we don’t want Kinlaw I don’t see a need to move up here but Kinlaw could legitamately be the pick for the Cardinals, Raiders, 49ers, and Bucs. He isn’t making it much longer. Now or never.

11. Cardinals – Tristan Wirfs OT Iowa

This might seem odd to trade away the pick that saw Andrew Thomas go just so we could take Wirfs, but in reality, Thomas, Brown, Kinlaw, and Wirfs are all great picks and we were offered a 3rd to move back 3 spots. We can’t miss. Wirfs was the last left on the list so that made our decision pretty simple.

12. Raiders – Ceedee Lamb WR Oklahoma

The Raiders surprised us last year but with the board the way it is, I’m comfortable going WR here (I took Kinlaw in my last mock). The question is who. For my money, I would take Jeudy but I’ll stick with my board that has Lamb as the 7th best prospect in this draft.

13. TRADE: Vikings Receive 13. 49ers Receive 25 and 58 (2nd) Vikings – Jerry Jeudy WR Alabama

I probably shouldn’t but the 49ers want to go back BAD. They have 2 1st round picks and nothing after that until the 5th. I wouldn’t be surprised if they trade back again. Still, the question is with who. The Jaguars and Eagles make sense but they have way too many needs to trade up for something they can get by staying put.

It really came down to the Vikings or make the pick and with the deep desire to move back I figured why not. Vikings are going to swing for the fences in 2020.

14. Buccaneers – Xavier McKinney S Alabama

We went out and got Tom Brady and Gronk to add to our group of Evans and Godwin. The offense is fine. Defense is now the biggest need and safety seems to be the most lacking. Even if it isn’t, with regard to value, this makes the most sense to me.

15. Broncos – Henry Ruggs WR Alabama

This has been speculated for some time and with Ruggs at the top of my board this has literally been the easiest pick since pick 2.

16. Browns – Patrick Queen LB LSU

I really hate all this nonsense about the Browns wanting to move back but I’m playing along. Seriously though, why? It’s a huge need and you’re in a great spot to get an elite tackle… but you’re going to wait for Ezra in the 2nd round? Dumb.

Anyways, need and value intersect nicely at Patrick Queen. The pick makes me sick but again, I’ll play along.

17. TRADE: Jaguars Receive 17. Cowboys Receive 20 and 116 and 157 Jaguars – Mekhi Becton OT Louisville 

I said I didn’t want the Jags to trade up for Jeudy but at 17 we have to offer less (1 of our 3 4th round picks and 1 of our 2 5th round picks) and we get a bigger need in OT. I’m actually really happy with this from the Jaguars perspective. Also, Mekhi is very unlikely to make it past the Dolphins and there’s a big drop off at tackle after him.

As for the Cowboys, I just don’t ever feel good about anyone I pick for them here. Hopefully the decision will be easier at 20.

18. Dolphins – Justin Jefferson WR LSU

This isn’t my favorite pick in the world (thanks a lot Jaguars), but at the end of the day we need offensive help for our new QB. OL is the biggest need but there aren’t any that are a good value. The decision was Jefferson or trade back. Sorry Packers fans, but the decision was to stay put.

19. Raiders – C.J. Henderson CB Florida

Pretty solid value for a guy that is getting potential top 10 buzz. And that really is what it came down to. The Raiders have a good amount of needs and at the top is a talented corner. That’s the whole story…

20. Cowboys – K’Lavon Chaisson EDGE LSU

It’s a strange pick but I’m sticking with it. Bottom line, although we have a great edge rusher already, having two is not something anyone should complain about. He’s also one of very few talented rushers in this class so let’s do it.

21. Eagles – D’Andre Swift RB Georgia

I’m going out on a pretty massive limb here but essentially, I don’t see WR as as big of a need as everyone is making it out to be. Jackson, Whiteside, and Alshon are there and are locked up for some time. I thought hard about Murray here but there’s a glimmer of hope in TJ Edwards and plenty of prospects in the later rounds.

Swift to me makes sense from the perspective that he’s not just another weapon but a receiving weapon, which seems to be a thing, we have no RB options that are remotely exciting, and let’s not forget last year we traded for Jordan Howard who is now a Dolphins which should signal our need and desire for a RB.

22. Vikings – Kristian Fulton CB LSU

The biggest need for the Vikings is corner so this isn’t a terribly difficult decision. The fact that we can trade up for Jeudy and not completely abandon being responsible makes me feel even better about moving up.

23. Patriots – A.J. Epenesa EDGE Iowa

I made this pick in my last mock and it still makes the most sense to me. The Patriots lived off defense last year and the DL is certainly beginning to erode. Epenesa is also a versatile inside outside guy which fits what the Patriots like to do.

24. TRADE: Ravens Receive 24. Saints Receive 28 and 106 (3rd) Ravens – Denzel Mims WR Baylor

This definitely isn’t holding true to my board which has Mims at 41 behind Higgins, Aiyuk, and Reagor but I can’t exactly set aside all the rumors about Mims possibly going before 20. It’s also a good fit for the Ravens who need more WR help and a big body compliment to Hollywood.

As for the trade, the Ravens have a ton of ammo (2 2nds, 2 3rds, 2 4ths) and the Saints only have 5 picks this year with no 2nd round picks.

25. 49ers – Cesar Ruiz IOL Michigan

There is a lot of talk about the 49ers wanting to get some DT help to fill the void left by Buckner but they still have a stacked DL and also have another pick at 31. I’m looking at an interior OL that is sub par at best and filled with guys in the 28-30 year old age range.

With running the ball being as important as it is and IOL being as weak as it is in this draft, let’s just pull the trigger now.

26. Lions – Yetur Gross-Matos EDGE Penn State

The Lions just keep swinging at DL in the hopes of having something that resembles a competent unit with the ability to get the the QB. It’s funny to laugh about but in all seriousness if he pans out, with Okudah and Trufant… I don’t know. They might be not the worst ever this year.

27. Seahawks – Josh Jones OT Houston

Who knows what in the world the Seahawks will do but let’s just keep it simple. They still haven’t fixed the offensive line. Still. After all these years. So here I am again for the 50 billionth time in a row suggesting the Seahawks should look to improve the offensive line.

28. Saints – Ross Blacklock DL TCU

As I’ve said in every mock this year, the Saints don’t have a ton of needs. DL would be one area where some improvement wouldn’t kill them. They got some good players on the edge but the middle is a little soft. Blacklock should be an improvement against the run and also boost the pass rush moderately.

29. Titans – Zack Baun LB Wisconsin

This is an unusual pick with Murray still on the board but I struggled taking LB after the Ravens took Rashaan Evans in the 1st round just 2 years ago. Still it’s a big need and with Baun’s ability to rush off the edge I felt it was a good compromise with the Titans struggling off the edge as well.

30. Packers – K.J. Hamler WR Penn State

Ya that’s right I said it. Granted I’m doing what I want in this pick as opposed to what I think will happen but I can’t hype the guy up all year and not do this in my final mock. Ultimately I think Gute and his staff will look at Hamler and see 5’9″ and say “hard pass” but they also said they want a receiver that can do everything and to me that’s Hamler.

Hamler wouldn’t be the only 5’9 receiver to have success in the NFL by the way. Hollywood Brown is 5’9″ and nobody had an issue last year. Cole Beasley is also 5″9″ and Tyreek Hill is just an inch taller.

31. 49ers – Jalen Reagor WR TCU

I can feel the anger from Packers fans who are fans of Reagor, and for that I’m sorry. As for the pick, again, DT is supposedly a big want for the team but I just don’t like the value here. Reagor will make a solid replacement for the departed Emmanuel Sanders.

32. Chiefs – Kenneth Murray LB Oklahoma

There’s been a good amount of hate for Murray lately but this would be a great scenario for the Chiefs. They need help badly and Murray should be an instant upgrade.

[jrsechelon]

A Glimpse Into The Future

The lights of Hardrock Stadium in Miami, Flordia stay on, the buzz of the excitement gone from the stadium - fans of this legendary game gone home awaiting celebrating and grieving, but waiting for next season. The 2020 Football season is months away and the 2019 Football season has now come to a suspenseful end. The confetti of blue and orange fills the stadium as custodian workers blow the confetti into piles from the crisp green grass with their leaf blowers. The field is pretty much worn down with clumps of grass missing and mud in other areas smeared all over. The heavy tropical storm blowing in during the 3rd Quarter, the perpetrator. Super Bowl XIII over, the new Elite Fantasy League Super Bowl Champions reign supreme enjoying this moment being interviewed by multiple news agencies and sport television channels. This is their first Super Bowl Championship. Years after not being able to get out of the Wild Card round the now Super Bowl XIII Champions had a remarkable year riding high all season and dominating opponent after opponent. Von Miller Super Bowl MVP interviews from the Elite Fantasy League table reviewing plays and moments that occurred just a little over an hour ago. The losing team mourns their loss and knows that they let one slip by in what was a very close defensive affair. Patrick Mahomes had struggled much of the game with the opponent's defense getting the best of him but Mahomes was leading what we all thought was going to be a Super Bowl-winning drive in the late minutes of the 4th Quarter when Von Miller came up with a masterful strip-sack locking up the 'W' for BroncosTillDeath. So what's next? Well, we first got to rewind - rewind to the EFL Draft and rewind to Mini Camp and Pre-Season. The 2019 season hasn't occurred, yet. This scenario above comes from the prediction of Mr. Sanders. In his prediction, he has BroncosTillDeath defeating The Busy Killers in a very tight game that will show why BroncosTillDeath's defense is by far the strength of their team and the best group of men on the opposite side of the offense in the entire league.

The atmosphere is different now in the EFL. The change of divisions is a major thing to consider going into this season. Travel times within the divisions will be greater which can mean more wear and tear on the players' bodies and mentally draining for the coaching staff. Focusing in on Mr. Sanders Super Bowl XIII Champions, BroncosTillDeath their travel time within their division totals to 3,333.26 miles and that is just within the division! In the first two weeks of the regular season BroncosTillDeath will have to travel to Santa Clara, California to face off against Hyrule Empire and then week 2 travel across the country and up into Canada to play The Canadian Cripplers. 1,909.97 miles alone in those two games. Although BroncosTillDeath has the 9th easiest/hardest strength of schedule this season they have to travel almost more than anyone. This random draw of divisions really pins some teams against the eight ball. BroncosTillDeath, Black Hole Son, and Evolution all have the longest length to travel. Prior to MegaWatt Warriors owner selling their team, the divisions were decided by a geographical factor, now with a random draw, we see a various challenge for all teams. Not only do they have to adjust to travel, but they are also going to have to adjust to getting used to new division rivals. Six of the sixteen teams will be renewed with old division rivalries from previous seasons. Thunderbuddy4Life the defending two time Super Bowl Champions will have familiarity with Hyrule Empire in the Shula division, while PURPLEHAZE and LilShupeScoresBIGPoints will continue their onesided rivalry in the Walsh division. Then there is The Canadian Cripplers and HellbentKronik who will continue to square off in their own respected division. The rest of the teams are in somewhat unfamiliar territory. No one more so than Balls Deep who is entering their expansion year.

Luckily for Balls Deep the Shula division has the shortest distance of travel time within their division. Three of the four teams reside in the Bay Area of California while the other team resides on the Northside of Chicago. Balls Deep has a .521 strength of schedule emerging as the 10th easiest schedule in the league. The schedule makers gave them an advantage in giving them four straight home games to begin their franchise and with only one of those four teams holding a winning record last year (Rainelo Hawks) Balls Deep should feel confident they can win a few of those four home games. The EFL hasn't had an expansion franchise for quite some years now so it will be exciting to see what this team can do. The division they are in is pretty favorable, although Thunderbuddy4Life is in their division the rest of the Shula division is subpar at best so we're interested to see what transpires here. Another division which catches interest is the Lombardi division where Rainelo Hawks, Buds Bums, The Busy Killers, and Yuba City Sultans all find themselves in. Hard to say what will happen here. None of these teams really played each other much and now being thrown in a division together it spells a lot of storylines. Can Rainelo Hawks continue their dominance in the regular season? Buds Bums and The Busy Killers were in the Postseason and Yuba City Sultans although has fallen off the last few years has the tools and coaching staff to always contend. I think this division is going to be the tightest one as we find ourselves late into the season. What can we expect this year? Looking into a crystal ball Mr. Sanders once again gives us his thoughts on how the season will play out.

"Over the course of the football season we see a mountain of storylines that cover each team. We enter into a world where we are able to witness the spectacle of what sports are all about. We're all a witness to the highs and lows of each player, coach, and fan. We feel the joy of our teams winning and the heartache of our teams losing, with football we all share a common bond and once again I am here to dive deep into ranking each teams draft and giving my thoughts on the teams who will rise to the top and fall to the basement."

"Opening up to look at the EFL teams quickly you can associate who is a contender and who is a pretender. Over and over we see a very small change of who makes the playoffs and who doesn't. This is because the smart general managers make the decisions they need in order to get back into contention. With that, I want to open up my grade talking about Evolution. A team that has made it to the playoffs for eleven straight seasons! Holding a 109/59/0 regular-season record this team exemplifies what an elite franchise is all about. Evolution every year proves me wrong, every year I give them a low grade and say they won't make it to the postseason but this year, this year is different. I love Christian McCaffery! The 2nd best running back this year, I think Mitchell Tribunsky should be great at quarterback. This team loves to throw enough and overall has a very solid offense. The projections show Evolution winning a lot, so I’ll say a B grade and will once again make the playoffs marking their twelfth straight postseason appearance."

"PURPLEHAZE, on the other hand, has too many question marks. They are entering the season with Kirk Cousins who is still trying to learn the offense and Delvin Cook who is coming off a major injury. Cook has been injury prone since his college days and with Aaron Jones assisting him in the backfield I don't see PURPLEHAZE doing much on the ground. Their receivers have a chance to break out but it is going to be depending on how well they can establish the run. Without a great running game, PURPLEHAZE's opponents will eat their offense up. The one bright spot on this team is their defense. Their defense is very strong and has the ability to save their season if they are planning on contending. I give PURPLEHAZE a C- because the offense doesn't excitement enough to feel like they have any chance at challenging other teams."

"Just like PURPLEHAZE, LilShupeScoresBIGPoints the loser of Super Bowl XII will not be finding their way back into the postseason. LilShupe is a very average team. A lot of players getting long in the tooth and with a bench full of questions it's hard to get behind this team. There aren't too many giant holes as long as the starters can stay healthy but that is a big challenge for a lot of these guys. Andrew Luck, James White, TY Hilton, and Jack Doyle can't seem to get healthy. LilShupeScoresBIGPoints is going to need Andrew Luck to be lucky this season, because even with Julio Jones who guaranteed he'd get 3,000 receiving yards this season - I don't see this team getting back to the postseason or contending against anyone. Bottom four for LilShupe this year, C-."

"BroncosTillDeath excites me. I kind of wish I had this team Juju is a stud who is going to have a MONSTER year! This defense is grossly underrated but playing Evolution twice will be a challenge and allow us to see how this team can handle a contender year-in-and-year-out. I believe Von Miller finds himself as defensive player of the year when all is said and done. Deshaun Watson is a cerebral assassin, he kills you in the air and on the ground. With Fournette in the back, you've got an excellent chance to not have to rely on Watson all the time. With Brady as the backup or starter depending on how this team goes you have two quarterbacks that can lead you to a victory every single week. This team doesn't play Straight Edge Society this year too so they won't have to face off against their long-time rival and league kryptonite. Will Fuller is a sleeper and is going to have a big campaign, mark my words. BroncosTillDeath is the overall best team in this division and my Super Bowl XIII Champions, A+."

"No disrespect to Thunderbuddy4Life who has been on a tear the last several years. Appearing in three Super Bowls in a row and winning back-to-back Super Bowls this team is always a threat. I see them making noise again this year but I just don't think they have what it takes to put together a three-peat. It has never been done and I don't see it happening. They've got a very decent team, but no crazy point scorers. I don't understand the thought process of making Jimmy Garoppolo the starting quarterback when you've got trusty ole Ben Roethlisberger on the bench. Taylor Gabriel is a great addition to the team as is Mixon who should see a lot of touches. But Golden Tate serving a four-game suspension and an uncertain defense who has the star power to make noise but has yet to put it together on the field, I can't say Thunderbuddy4Life is going to be the dynasty they are hoping to be. They'll make the playoffs but be booted early, B-."

"Balls Deep a rookie franchise this year, let me be the first to welcome you to one of the most interesting leagues out there. You are going to find out real quick how difficult this league is and how hard it is to win. No team is willing to give an inch and every single owner is cutthroat in their approach to building a winning franchise. There aren't a lot of trade talks and if you aren't going full throttle you are in the wrong league. With that out of the way, at first glance, this looks like a pretty good team with Goff, Coleman, Alvin Kamara and even Cole Beasley in a new spot. Jimmy Graham looking to have a bounce-back year this team is riddled with a lot of sleepers on their bench and in my opinion Balls, Deep is the dark horse to surprise the league. The only alarming thing is Trent Williams holding out. They will need him in order to create holes for the running game. I give this team a B- I see a few surprises here and a challenge to Thunderbuddy4Life for the division."

"Speaking of dark horses, Hyrule Empire has a real chance to finally emerge as a contender. The team is centered around a lot of players that can produce. Cris Carson and Saquan Barkley may be the best two backs in the league and a two-headed monster like that is a scary sight for opposing defenses. I like Russell Wilson and see him having an MVP type season, I love Nick Foles as the backup quarterback and DK Metcalf is the steal of the draft. This team has an amazing core group on both the offense and the defensive side of things. The defense is very underrated and has a real shot at being a top 5 defense by years end. Hyrule Empire will contend, they will be in the Championship game and even possibly the Super Bowl. I give them an A."

"VanillaGorillas a team of unknowns seems like most of the team is just too young and unpredictable. IF this young group of guys can get things together though I do see them having a good season and turning some heads. Baker Mayfield is a brash talker who has confidence through the roof. He is a leader and going into his Sophomore year. I don't know if he will suffer through a slump but with the players around him, he should strive and push himself to the next level in this league. OBJ has a fire in his heart and wants to prove the doubters wrong, landing here with Mayfield is going to help both of them succeed. The running game on this team is up in the air. Can these players produce the way we expect them too? The offensive line should give them enough of a hole to gain a strong amount of yards but with multiple timeshares, it is going to hurt production value. Travis Kelce is the one for sure thing on this team and you know Baker loves his tight ends. Look for Kelce to once again have a big year even with him finding himself in a new location. This team has a lot of room to grow and has a massive upside it is just whether or not they can take those steps toward success. D for now."

"Straight Edge Society has the hardest schedule this season, and missing the playoffs in the fashion they did last year has still got to sting them. If you all have forgotten - Straight Edge Society had led the Central division all year until the final week last year when The Busy Killers leapfrogged them taking that division and leaving Straight Edge Society to wonder why they couldn't put it together against MegaWatt Warriors who were already on their way out. With that said, I am not sold on this squad really at all. Two times Super Bowl Champion might be finding their way out of the league next year, this team has always had a history of struggles in the regular season and with the way, things ended last year don't be surprised if they up and sell the team after this dismal year. The general manager is not seeing Lamar Jackson and his struggles last year, the offensive line isn't that strong here in Ohio and the running game isn't established enough with these two players. They are not strong enough players to place my confidence in them. Watching this team draft I wondered what they were doing. Cam Newton and Tom Brady sitting on the board and they take Lamar Jackson, maybe they know something I don't? I just can't get behind this team this year. I see Antonio Brown looking like trade bait to me, this team is going to be selling and selling hard before the trade deadline. They are going to need to make a lot of moves or a huge miracle in order to contend. F."

"Straight Edge Society has a hard division to contend in - every team has an elite quarterback beside Straight Edge Society and with that, we turn our attention to The Canadian Cripplers. Bringing in Brees is a beautiful thing for this team. Drew Brees will be Brees for The Canadian Cripplers. He is always on fire and this is what The Cripplers needed to finally get some positive recognition. This was the hardest team to rank with studs everywhere but a guy in Le'Veon Bell who missed the whole year last season and now another running back in Melvin Gordon who is holding out it is really unsure how the running game is going to go. They have two stud tight end and Brees absolutely LOVES his tight ends. Great defense with Aaron Donald leading the way and finally got smart and put Cam Newton on the bench. Amari Cooper will be a big playmaker, as will Devin Funchess in the slot. The recently signed Michael Crabtree can be a steal if they can get him going early and often. I love this team it has a lot of potential but they have got to address the running back situation. Pay Gordon or trade him for some value, I hear your division rival Black Hole Son is dealing with their own holdout, maybe a swap at running backs? I’m going with an A grade just on the potential of this team, see you in the final four!"

"Black Hole Son, our boy! The coach with the most! The man with the plan! The team with the grit! Last year they finally made the playoffs, although it was short-lived and they were booted in the Wild Card round they look to be very much in contention once again. They are stacked! They've got the best rookie running back in Josh Jacobs, Zeke Elliot who was, in my opinion, the best running back last year - but with the recent news of him looking to holdout through the season it'll be up to Alfred Morris and Latavius Murray to shoulder the load as you can't rely on the rookie back. Matty Ice should have a stellar year and throwing the ball to Golladay who will have a huge year and the one hundred million dollar man Michael Thomas, Matt Ryan should have no problem getting the ball out. Edelman is always instore for a great year no matter what. He keeps focused and drives for success. Even without Ezekiel Elliot holding out it won’t matter much, this is a healthy team with a health B grade. Another playoff appearance for Black Hole Son before moving from Oakland to Vegas."

"HellbentKronik is a curious team. I love their wide receiving core but other than that they don't have anything that stands out. The Hot Boys as they like to be called on the defensive side of the ball intrigues me a bit and they will need their defense to play a big role to contend this year. Kyler Murray starting is a gamble, and it doesn't get much better with Josh Allen. This team doesn't have a great offensive line. Pro Football Focus rates their offensive like a D- giving up an average 4.5 sacks a game which will equal to 63 sacks in 14 games. Ouch! You have got to be kidding me!? This isn't looking good for a team that is used to winning. The Super Bowl X Champion is a long way from their glory days this coming 2019 season. This is a rebuilding year in New England unless they can deal a receiver or two and land some solid quarterback and offensive line play. Don't expect Kyler Murray or Josh Allen to save this team from what is looking to be a 5-11 season. C- better luck next year."

"This last division has three teams that were in the postseason last year. One from the former Pacific division, the former Great Lakes division, and the former Central division. So before we jump into those teams lets first focus on the team who has missed the playoffs the last two seasons. Yuba City Sultans. Aaron Rodgers has new coach new wide receivers and a very stable running game. This is a good opportunity for Rodgers and coach Haight, neither hasn't had much success so the change I think will be a good thing for them and will be a strength for them to take it to the next level. David Johnson and Marlon Mack I feel will have a studly year Roby Anderson is a sleeper to produce big numbers. Yuba City Sultans has what it takes to finally find themselves back in the playoffs, great potential here, B."

"Buds Bums who has been building each year and almost made it to the Super Bowl last season has a very deep team lots of unknowns like Montgomery at running back, Booker, and Miller. Marvin Jones Jr always can light it up and that defense led by Khalil Mack will win a few but this is a very tough division. I don't see any of these teams losing many games but one less loss than wins here for Buds Bums will make them be the odd one out. I’d give B but because of how difficult this division is and having to play Hawks, Sultans, and Killers twice I'll say C, without the playoffs."

"Rainelo Hawks are always in the mix, they are stable and continue to impress each year. Much like Evolution, these Hawks are a strong candidate to continue their success. This team is older but are they wiser and with that wisdom, they will have what it takes to propel them into another postseason appearance. Philip Rivers can give them easily 3 touchdowns a game, James Conner looked great last year and now will shine as the number one running back while Freeman heals from his prior injury. I suspect Freeman to start a little cold but come on very hot in the middle of the year, look toward week 6 when Freeman comes on. Eric Ebron will be top 3 tight ends at years end and they've got such a solid bench. The main concern for Rainelo Hawks will be The Busy Killers and if the Hawks want to win the Lombardi division they'll have to beat The Busy Killers twice. In my opinion, it'll be a tough task but I give Rainelo Hawks an A- with a possible chance to be an A if they can win the division."

"Last but not least are The Busy Killers, I love Patrick Mahomes and Philip Lindsay. Kenyan Drake is a stout back and has some miracle magic in his feet. Grabbing Sterling Sheppard very late in the draft is going to pay dividends because what we all thought was going to be a long injury is going to be nothing to be concerned. This will be big for Mahomes because the other receivers are average. Jason Witten refreshed and coming out of retirement is under the radar, expect him to be a big factor in this offense. Solid kicker, kickers never get enough credit and just like Rainelo Hawks, The Busy Killers have a for sure thing at kicker. The top defense led by JJ Watt and Bobby Wagner, unstoppable on both sides of the ball. Mahomes has to stay healthy and not allow the Madden curse to hit him - I believe he will be fine and with that being said I suspect The Busy Killers will appear in the Super Bowl. The Busy Killers are getting a grade A, they have been on the brink of being a perennial contender and finally will be. Pat Mahomes and company will be seeing BroncosTillDeath in Super Bowl XIII."

"The Super Bowl will be BroncosTillDeath vs. The Busy Killers with BroncosTillDeath winning a very tight affair. The division champions will be The Busy Killers (Lombardi), Black Hole Son (Null), Hyrule Empire (Shula), and BroncosTillDeath (Walsh). The teams who make the Wild Card will be Evolution, Rainelo Hawks, Thunderbuddy4Life, and The Canadian Cripplers. Yuba City Sultans, Balls Deep, and Buds Bums just fall short in making the playoffs. VanillaGorilla goes .500 while LilShupeScoresBIGPoints, PURPLEHAZE, HellbentKronik, and Straight Edge Society have dismal years. Straight Edge Society or LilShupeScoresBIGPoints will end up with the 1st overall pick in 2020. I suspect blowback from these grades and predictions but have I ever been wrong? See you in a few weeks for our Off The Wall Football Podcast and in the meantime enjoy Pre-Season as a lot can happen from now until the season."

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[tea-and-cardigans]

What Fools These Mortals Be. Chapter One

Multi-chapter AU

The Riverdale Community Theatre Company is staging its greatest production to date: “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”. Betty Cooper sees this as an opportunity to make the company’s most sought-after actor, Archie Andrews, hers. Unfortunately, new girl in town, Veronica Lodge has scored a lead role, putting her directly opposite Archie. Behind the scenes, Jughead Jones has returned to his usual role back stage but is soon drafted into the play when one of the actors has an accident. Meanwhile, director Kevin Keller just wants to stage a successful play and keep his actors private lives separate.

Big shout out to the awesome @jandjsalmon who is beta'ing and is amazing. She is a cornerstone of this fandom and I am so happy to have her help with bringing this story to life.

Also thank you to @zombiekittez who is answering my questions around the intricacies of community theatre, it has really helped me in visualising and creating this story.

Chap 1 / Chap 2 / Chap 3 / Chap 4 / Chap 5 / Chap 6 / Chap 7 / Ao3 / FF.net

I will be attempting to update this regularly as possible with at least one update per week, possibly more depending on my brain’s co-operation.

“I cannot just stand by and watch you do this again,” Kevin Keller huffed, watching his blonde best friend as she adjusted herself in the mirror. Betty Cooper had asked him to come by before the first meeting of their community theatre group, to give her a pep talk and to help her choose an outfit. He was not entirely holding up his side of the bargain though, instead he was trying to talk her out of whatever elaborate plan she had this time.

“You make it sound so dramatic, Kevin.” She looked at him briefly before turning back to her reflection. Betty was trying to decide between two lip shades, ‘perfect pink’ or ‘seductive red’. Her fingers itched to choose the scarlet shade, but as she applied the colour she immediately changed her mind and wiped it off, returning to her signature shade. She liked to play it safe, and tonight she needed the comfort of the usual.

“Every year you make moon eyes at him and every year he ends up bedding another member of the cast,” Kevin said, not unkindly, more matter of fact. He didn’t like to hurt her, but sometimes he had to tell it like it was.

“Well then it’s about time that it’s my turn,” Betty answered in her typical, self-depreciating humour. She knew pining was a silly thing for a grown woman to do. Chasing the boy around like a puppy, begging at his heels for any bit of attention he would throw her way.

Kevin scowled, upset that she thought so little of herself.

“Oh don’t look at me like that, it was a joke,” she added rolling her eyes, a half-truth.

“Betty, you know I love you, but don’t make a fool of yourself this year.” His tone was serious. He swore everyone in the damn group knew the feelings that Betty had for Archie, except Archie – who was a great actor but extraordinarily oblivious on the best of days.

“God, Kevin! You make me sound like a silly school girl,” she huffed, twirling her flaring skirt as she faced him, her make-up now flawless, looking every bit as perfect as everyone thought she was.

“Your words,” he quipped with a smirk before she grabbed a cushion from the nearby couch and threw it at him. Chuckling, Kevin caught it before it could hit his face and threw it back at her gently.

She knew what her friend was saying was true, it wasn’t like this was new thing. It happened every year without fail when the gang got back together to perform. Good old Betty Cooper was there being her perfect self, waiting for any tiny glimmer of an opportunity with Archie Andrews to roll around... but every year it was like she didn’t even exist to him as more than just a friend. Another year and another production meant yet another chance for him to see what he had been missing, for him to see her.

“So, great director of ours, what play are you having us do this year?” She asked, finally taking a seat next to him on the couch. She was flattering him to change the subject, and not being so subtle about it.

Kevin knew what she was doing, but let it go for now. “I have something special planned, a classic, Shakespeare,” he answered with an excited smile. He looked forward to these plays each year. The RCTC was a small community group with only enough funding to produce one show a year, but every year he made sure it was as grand as it could possibly be. Auditions were always open to the entire community but the usual suspects seemed to always turn out – of course, Betty being one of them. She had been performing with him in them since they were in high school, side by side until Kevin had been offered the position of director which he had been only too eager to accept.

Not that the job was easy by any stretch of the imagination. Keeping the private lives of his actors separate from the production was usually his main challenge. The ‘Betty and Archie Saga’ was a perpetual thorn in his side. He loved Betty, he did, but the poor girl just did not know when to quit. Most people would have been turned down once and accepted it, but good old Betty Cooper always came back for more.

If it wasn’t for Archie’s ability and talent to bring in the crowds, Kevin would have eliminated him from the show completely just to spare her - and in turn himself - from the heartache and drama. But he was talented and handsome and that combination brought in the young girls and their mothers which just so happened to be their main audience in town.

“O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?” she pronounced dramatically, her hands making flourishes as she collapsed back onto the couch, with a giggle. Kevin couldn’t help but smile back at her. She was sunshine. Bright green eyes and blonde hair, with a laugh that made the birds envious and a heart that was genuine and kind. All he wanted to do was find her a nice man, a good man. All he wanted was for her to be happy and content. That plan did not and could not involve Archie Andrews.

“I don’t think so, Juliet. I can only imagine the torment that you would inflict upon me if I gave the role of Juliet to anyone else.”

“Yeah. Probably for the best,” she confirmed with a snicker.

“Something a little light though. I think a comedy.” He noticed her eyes light up at this. “Something with clever dialogue and witty banter, deception and disguise. Mistaken identities and twists and turns. Something fun.”

“Well, now I am intrigued, are you going tell me?” she asked, sidling closer to him on the couch, her bottom lip pouting in that way that girls do subconsciously when they want something from the opposite sex. It was something that never worked on Kevin.

“And take away the surprise? I think not,” he replied, and Betty slumped back on the couch, defeated.

“You do have a flair for the dramatic, Kev,” she sighed but with a smile.

“I think that’s why they made me the director,” He chuckled at her eye roll and helped her up from the couch.

***

Betty had arrived to the theatre for their meeting early to help Kevin with set up. She was busying herself with setting out the teas and coffees when she saw him enter the room. It was cliché she knew, but she could swear her heart skipped a beat when she saw Archie Andrews walk through the door. She had worshipped him since high school. Back when she had been the nerdy girl with the glasses with the gay best friend. He hadn’t even given her a second glance back then. When she had first seen him turn up for auditions, a year after graduation, she knew that this was her second chance.

Betty had grown up in that year apart. Her confidence in herself had become secure, a year in New York had enabled that. After a year of studying at Columbia, she had returned home for the summer to take part in one last performance, imagining that once her education was finished and her career took off that she wouldn’t have time to indulge in this guilty pleasure. Little did she know how soon she would be returning to this town to never leave again.

She broke herself out of her reminiscent thoughts before they took her further down a path that she couldn’t deal with right now, and focused instead on the red-headed man who had entered the small community theatre. She swore each year he was more handsome than the year before, and a familiar heat rose to her cheeks.

“Archie, hey,” she called out with what she hoped was a nonchalant smile. Her fingers brushed down her skirt as she tried to make her nerves still. She jogged over to him as he continued his path to the stage.

“Oh hey, Betty.” He slowed down a little for her to catch up.

“So, what have you been up to?” she asked, trying to simultaneously catch her breath and sound as casual as she could. She was twisting a strand of hair from her pony tail in between her fingers, a nervous habit that she could only hope played off as flirtatious.

“Well, working on my music mostly. Helping Dad out at the construction site. Had some gigs in New York too,” he offered, and Betty nodded eagerly.

“Wow! So this music thing is really taking off then?” she exclaimed. Of course, Betty knew full well that it was. She was a regular Facebook stalker and Archie literally had nothing private.

“Yeah, well it was just a few gigs, nothing big.” He shrugged.

“Still you’re out there making an impact.” She assured him.

“You still at Riverdale High?” She knew he was going to ask, but was happy that he had at least remembered where she worked.

“Yeah, I mean I have some extra responsibilities, team leader for the English department.” She said proudly, even though she was very aware of how her achievements stacked up to his. She wasn’t exploring New York, following her dreams like he was. She had followed her dreams once and it hadn’t quite worked out, but she was happy with her teaching position, she enjoyed imparting knowledge and being able to open the world of literature to her students made her happy.

“Do you have any idea what Kevin is cooking up for us?” Archie gave her that charming smile and she felt the ground fall from beneath her feet yet again.

“Only that it is a Shakespearean comedy. He wouldn’t divulge anything further,” she sighed and unconsciously tucked a loose bit of hair behind her ear.

“Well, you got more out of him than me.” He smiled again at her and she took a deep breath. This was it, she was going to do it, before she lost her nerve again.

“Anyway, Arch I was thinking…” she started but was curtailed by the ruckus of the other theatre members on the other side of the stage.

“Okay, guys, gather round. I think all the RSVPs are here. Reggie, you can have more of the snacks in a minute,” Kevin shouted over to the snacks table where Reggie was currently shovelling food into his mouth.

He grabbed a few more items in a napkin before walking over to the centre of the stage to stand next to Betty. Characteristically, Reggie Mantle’s eyes lingered a little too long, drifting momentarily over her body, causing her to cross her arms over her chest subconsciously and glower at him. She watched Archie, who was now standing next to one of his old football buddies, Moose Mason. Kevin had dated Moose briefly during the production last year but it had ended on closing night much to Kevin’s dismay. He and Betty had sat on the couch both eating triple fudge sundaes from Pop’s that night, commiserating in each other’s heartbreak.

“Techies, you too this way, don’t slink off into the background. I can see you.” The tech crew looked at each other nervously before making their way over to where the actors had already gathered. “And welcome back, Jughead. Glad you decided to join in again this year.” Betty looked towards the sullen figure that she had been trying to avoid eye contact with since he had arrived. Trademark beanie secured on his head, a passive look to his face as he, reluctantly moved from his position against the wall to stand with his fellow tech members.

“You may have heard some rumblings that we will be turning our hand to something a little more theatrical and classic this year.” Kevin threw a pointed look at Betty who he was sure had already divulged information from their chat that afternoon to the majority of the company by now. She shrugged her shoulders at him, blinking her big doe eyes and feigning innocence. “This will be the first year we attempt something from the great Bard himself, but I have faith that you will all be able to handle it with the same poise and dedication with which you have handled every other production.”

“Well don’t keep us waiting, Kevin, which play are we doing?” Cheryl Blossom piped up, her patience wearing thin already with Kevin’s monologue.

“Thank you, Cheryl. I was getting there.” He mumbled under his breath. “This year Riverdale’s Community Theatre Company will be staging a production of Shakespeare’s A Midsummer Night’s Dream.”

Betty let out a squeal and immediately clapped her hand over her mouth, attempting to muffle the sound. The other members looked at her with wide eyes following the outburst. Blushing and somewhat more subdued, she shuffled her feet in excitement instead. It was perfect! Kevin gave her a knowing nod, before he continued to outline the play and the schedule for the next few weeks. Everyone nodding attentively.

While the rest of the company followed along with Kevin, Jughead Jones continued to stare at her after her outburst and she mouthed an irritated ���What?’ at him. When he shook his head at her, his expression something she couldn’t quite read. She stuck out her tongue at him, childish as it was. He rolled his eyes at her, looking away and continued to chat with Dilton Doiley, sharing a private joke, chuckling between themselves.

When Kevin had finished and the company had been dismissed she made her way over to her friend and director.

“A Midsummer Night’s Dream! Kevin it is perfect.” She gave another delighted squeal as she hugged him tightly. “You know that is one of my favourites.” She smiled brightly up at him and once she released him from her hold he was able to resume breathing.

“So, can I presume that you plan on auditioning?” he questioned already knowing her answer.

“Do you even have to ask?” Her eyes scanned the room looking for Archie only to find he must have already left with the rest of the old football team, probably to catch up, probably to pick up girls that nagging little voice in her head told her. She couldn’t hide the disappointment on her face.

“Come on, Blondie. Sundaes at Pop’s to celebrate. My treat.” Kevin put an arm around her shoulder and she leaned against him as the two friends left the theatre together.

Chapter 2

#bughead fanfiction #aubughead #bughead #riverdale fanfiction #my work #betty x jughead #kevin keller #cheryl blossom #archie andrews #what fools these mortals be #moose mason #reggie mantle

[flauntpage]

If Philadelphia Sports Figures were Game of Thrones Characters

(Caution: this post contains spoilers, so if you aren’t caught up on GOT, you’ve got less than 72 hours to binge)

  Ah yes.

Fire and blood. Incest and dragons and whatnot.

Game of Thrones returns this weekend.

I’ll be 100% honest with you; I’m not as hyped as I thought I would be. Maybe the two-year break dulled my senses, or maybe some of the story arcs lost me when the show writers moved past George R.R. Martin’s book material. It took Arya Stark five seasons to cross the sea, for example, then she came back and started killing everybody in five seconds, with laughable ease.

It felt like some plot lines were taking forever to develop, then they put the characters in a DeLorean time machine and stuffed four years worth of material into one season, like a high fantasy burrito. We had to endure the Sand Snakes and redundant Ramsey Bolton behavior along the way. Every sadistic move delivered diminishing returns, in my opinion.

But I’m still ready to roll. Jon and Daenerys are on the same side. Cersei can’t be trusted. The Hound is still out there, ready to eat every chicken in Westeros.

Here’s how we imagined Philadelphia sports figures as GOT characters:

Markelle Fultz as Jaime Lannister

Both were excellent at their craft, then they suffered arm issues and were never the same.

What role will they play in 2019?

-Kinkead

any Sixers 1st round draft pick as Bran Stark

We see great things in their future, then they get hurt, can’t use their legs, and just watch things happen.

-Coggin

Domonic Brown as Brother Ray

Big Ian McShane fan right here, dating back to his days on the criminally underrated Deadwood.

Similar to Dom Brown, I had high hopes for Brother Ray, but then he was killed off after something like three scenes and that was pretty much it.

-Kinkead

Kendall Jenner as Cersei Lannister

They are the queens, whether we want to accept it or not.

-Kinkead, h/t Investor Jeff

Howie Roseman as Jon Snow

Both were forsaken/murdered by their own men, but found their way back to the top. Jon became Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch and Lord of Winterfell. Howie Roseman reclaimed his general manager gig and constructed the team that won Philadelphia its first Super Bowl. Take that, Chip Kelly and Olly.

-Kinkead

Sam Hinkie as Ned Stark

Both men tried to steer the kingdom in the right direction.

Then they were betrayed from within and replaced with puppet leaders.

-Kinkead

Anti-Hinkie people as the Sons of the Harpy

They just did not like how the new leader was doing things. They preferred the old methods.

-Kinkead

(photo credit: HBO)

Eagles fans as the Dothraki

Uncouth barbarian hordes who throw batteries, boo injured players, and mistreat North Dakota radio hosts. They make crude jokes and show a lack of patience.

-Kinkead

Flyers fans as the Wildlings

We have to guard our borders from these Delaware County savages.

-Kinkead

Boban Marjanovic as Wun Wun the Giant

A couple of fan-favorite front court players. One can dunk without leaving the ground and the other smashed down Winterfell’s gate to end The Battle of the Bastards.

-Kinkead

Gritty as Tormund Giantsbane

Two more fan-favorite characters with great personalities and orange hair.

-Kinkead

(photo credit: USA Today Sports/HBO)

The Eagles’ offensive line as Hodor

Protecting the more vulnerable folks out there, whether they’re quarterbacks or omniscient cripples.

-Kinkead

Dario Saric as Khal Drogo

You might’ve thought, “Hmm… Dario Saric… Daario Naharis?” No, you fool. Dario Saric, just like Khal Drogo, is a revered and feared warrior from another continent who is never going to cross the sea. If he did, he’d likely get attacked by warriors with better lateral quickness.

-Russ

Phil Martelli as Ser Barristan Selmy

He served admirably for many years, then he was ousted by his superiors and didn’t take it very well.

-Kinkead

Andrew Bynum as the entire Dorne storyline

Just two terrible experiences overall.

-Kinkead

(photo credit: Sixers/HBO)

T.J. McConnell as Tyrion Lannister

Full disclosure: I have only watched two scenes from this entire show’s run. I watched the Red Wedding. And I watched the Viper get killed by the Mountain for no good reason. Anyway, this comparison is a little bit on the nose, but so what? TJ is kind of a mascot on the Sixers and in the NBA. He’s not really good enough to be in the league, but no one has told him to go away, so here he is. That’s sort of where we are with Peter Dinklage’s character. What can he really do among all this gore and violence and evil? For obvious physical reasons, he’s not much use. Because I don’t watch the show, I don’t care what happens to Tyrion Lannister. But I imagine TJ will be out of the league soon, and if that’s what happens to Tyrion on GOT, that’s fine with me.

-Phil

Andy Reid as Mance Rayder

Well liked by their followers, they were so close to getting the job done. They just couldn’t get over the hump and their lieutenants took over instead.

-Kinkead

El Wingador as The Hound

They will eat every fucking chicken in here.

-Kinkead

CrossingBroad.com as The Citadel

Endless sources of knowledge, wisdom, and sometimes satire.

-Kinkead

Chip Kelly as Euron Greyjoy

Chip Kelly came from a land that was mocked and looked down upon in NFL circles. He ran a gimmicky offense while crowning himself with a cute visor while chasing a duck. He looked like a fool. However, upon entering the NFL, his team began to take the league by storm.

“Build me a thousand ships and I shall give you the world!”

Then, much like Euron’s GQ model entrance to season 7, Chip arrived boldly, having cast aside his enemy Howie Roseman, practically cut out the tongues of his players (no one could criticize him), hunted down DeSean Jackson and Shady McCoy, handed them over to be locked in the Washington and Buffalo dungeons and watch one another decompose. Also like Euron in Season 7, when confronted with the reality that his players hated him and the league had learned his system, he fled.

-Russ

Alshon Jeffery as Daario Naharis

Both sell swords brought in to teams on the rise but not at their peaks on “prove it” deals. Alshon proved it in the playoffs and the Super Bowl while playing with a torn rotator cuff, Daario proved it by killing all of his colleagues for the Mother of Dragons.

Same thing.

-Coggin

DeSean Jackson as Jorah Mormont

They never asked to leave. They were exiled, then returned.

-somebody in Slack, can’t recall

Ray Didinger as Ser Davos Seaworth, the Onion Night

I haven’t found a person who dislikes either of these guys.

-Kinkead

(via NBC Sports Philadelphia/HBO)

Ben Simmons as Grey Worm

Neither has a lot to say. They’re more about action than words. And they’re dating high profile women in Kendall Jenner and Missandei.

-Kinkead

Angelo Cataldi as Lord Petyr Baelish, aka Littlefinger

They created legions of followers just by saying a bunch of shit. Everybody else can see through the mirage, but you begrudgingly tip your hat to their expertise in the art of self-preservation.

-Kinkead

Howard Eskin as Lord Varys

Both worked their way up from the bottom to hold court with some big names. No one is really sure what they do exactly at this point, what their end game is, or why anyone trusts them. Varys and Eskin both make bold fashion statements even though neither has the balls to back them.

-Craig

Bryan Colangelo as Jaqen H’ghar, The Faceless Man

You just didn’t know if you could trust him.

-someone in Slack

Barbara Bottini as The Waif

Minor female characters who ended up becoming universally disliked. Both just had a huge chip on their shoulder, for whatever reason.

-Kinkead

Dallas Cowboy fans who live in this region as King Joffrey

Just totally repulsive and vile. Ridiculous individuals with no redeeming qualities.

-Kinkead

Jason Peters as Beric Dondarrion

Every time you think he’s dead, he returns to life.

-Kinkead

Mo’Ne Davis as Lyanna Mormont of Bear Island

Small but formidable, these ladies came out of nowhere to become popular figures.

-Kinkead

Nick Foles as Podrick Payne

A couple of crowd favorites with legendary private parts.

-Kinkead/Coggin

Agent Raymond Brothers as Mirri Maz Duur

Both suggested alternative medical treatments for their respective clients.

-Kinkead

Bronn as Bryce Harper

A sell sword who used to be a bad guy. Then we ended up becoming the highest bidder, so he’s one of ours and everybody loves him.

-Kinkead

The Phillie Phanatic as the Night King

No one knows who or what they really are.

-Kinkead

Any member of the 1993 Phillies as King Robert Baratheon

A lot of drinking and whoring going on here. *Allegedly.*

-Kinkead

Carli Lloyd as Daenerys Targaryen

A world cup winner and a possible world conqueror.

-Kinkead

Elena Delle Donne as Brienne of Tarth

A couple of tall blondes who have found much success in their respective crafts.

-Kinkead

Jerry Colangelo as Olenna Tyrell

Tried to insert her less than bright relative into a position of power and it got everyone killed.

-someone in Slack

(photo credit: USA Today Sports/HBO)

That’s it. That’s the story. Thanks for reading.

The post If Philadelphia Sports Figures were Game of Thrones Characters appeared first on Crossing Broad.

If Philadelphia Sports Figures were Game of Thrones Characters published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

[thrashermaxey]

20 Fantasy Hockey Thoughts

Every Sunday until the start of the 2018-19 regular season, we'll share 20 Fantasy Thoughts from our writers at DobberHockey. These thoughts are curated from the past week's "Daily Ramblings".

Writers: Michael Clifford, Ian Gooding, Cam Robinson, and Dobber

  1. Nazem Kadri was extremely hot and cold during 2017-18. After a strong first two months of the season (13 points in 17 games), Kadri cooled off to a 12-game pointless drought that lasted all through December. Then it was back to the previous scoring pace (32 points in 41 games). Once all was said and done, Kadri had posted his second consecutive 30-goal and 55-point season.

So, with John Tavares now in the fold, will Kadri be able to repeat his production from the past two seasons? The easy take is to assume that he will be shifted toward a more defensive role. Something that is also lost among the Tavares hype is that several other scorers have departed from the Leafs, including Tyler Bozak and James van Riemsdyk. The Leafs’ first and second-power play units logged very similar ice time totals, so a spot should remain on whatever unit Kadri was on.

There’s also a couple of other factors that could help Kadri during the Tavares era in Toronto. For one, Tavares will help the power play, as his 30 PPP was more than anyone on the Leafs. As well, teams will probably focus on using their top shutdown units against the Tavares line and the Auston Matthews line. This should mean better scoring opportunities for Kadri. With 19 power-play points (fourth on the Leafs), Kadri shouldn’t be going anywhere.

We, in fantasy hockey, tend to think of the top two lines as the place to be for forwards. But, strong teams nowadays focus on rolling three solid forward lines. If Kadri centers the third line, that isn’t such a bad thing. He could have another quietly effective season on a Leafs’ forward group that is one of the deepest in the league. (aug1)

  2. Interested in any Flames' forward prospects could make the opening-night roster as a result of Troy Brouwer being bought out? I don't think there are any obvious names but July 1 signing Austin Czarnik was thought to be someone who had an excellent shot to make the Flames' opening night roster. His chances only improve now. Czarnik has scored at a point-per-game pace in the AHL over the past three seasons but could not crack the Bruins' deep roster. (aug4)

  3. Kyle Connor was not one of the Calder Trophy finalists but there was a valid argument that he should have been listed as one of the top three rookies. Connor led all freshmen in goals with 31, which is a number that placed him in the top 30 overall in the goals category. Over a full season, he was on pace for 61 points, checking in at 57 points in 76 games.

If you believe the voters in Cage Match Tournament #2, Connor will not reach 70 points this season (technically 71 points, since the question was will he exceed his career best pace by 10-plus points). Only 13 percent of the voters believe that Connor is due for that type of breakout. Of course, this is a point pace that assumes he will play a full season. The average NHLer does not play a full 82 games, so it might be safer to assume that Connor should reach 60 points in his sophomore season.

Connor was boosted by playing on a line with two of the NHL’s top scorers in Mark Scheifele and Blake Wheeler for over half of the season. His production may suffer if he is moved down to a secondary scoring line but you can’t blame him for the linemates that he is matched up with. The fact that he has a proven track record with Scheifele and Wheeler should only help his cause on draft day.

You may want to move Connor down your pre-draft rankings if your league counts hits or penalty minutes, however. Among all Jets players, Connor had the lowest hits per game played total, averaging just one hit every four games. In terms of penalty minutes, only Andrew Copp had a lower penalty minutes total than Connor (16 PIM) among Jets players who played at least 60 games. (aug3)

  4. Jack Hughes is the projected consensus first overall pick in the 2019 NHL Draft and for good reason. He’s the first U17 player to record two points-per-game in the USHL this past season. He centered a ridiculous line with Oliver Wahlstrom and Joel Farabee on the U18 team and those three should hook up again for the US at the WJC too.

I often get asked hypothetical questions on Twitter such as: “Who would go first overall if they were in the same draft, Jack Eichel or Hughes? Or how about, Rasmus Dahlin or Hughes?”

I scouted a ton of USNTDP games last season and watched Auston Matthews and Eichel closely in their lead-up to being drafted, and Hughes was more dynamic at the same age. He is one of the best pure talents I’ve ever seen. He has speed that makes you think of Connor McDavid. Hands and creativity that are reminiscent of Patrick Kane, and a motor that doesn’t quit. The cerebral, crafty, and playmaking center will be a pillar in the NHL for a very long time. So, start loading up on 2019 lottery picks in your leagues because those who are lucky enough to land the top spot next year will be adding an instantly-productive star to their squad that has an extremely high ceiling. (aug2)

  5. Sleeper Alert! I believe people are very much snoozing on what Kailer Yamamoto could do next season. There’s a reasonable chance that he ends up beside Connor McDavid and Ryan Nugent-Hopkins at evens right off the hop. That’s a top 10 spot to secure in the league.

Yamamoto cracking the Oilers' lineup fresh from the draft floor last fall was impressive. He lasted his nine games before heading back to Spokane of the WHL. And the transition was difficult for him. He struggled to replicate the outlandish numbers that we'd become accustomed to. Even at the World Junior Championships, where he was expected to be a standout, he flew a little too far under the radar. However, something clicked in the New Year. Upon returning with his WJC bronze medal in hand, Yamamoto went on a tear that saw him produce 17 goals and 51 points in the final 25 contests. He concluded his final junior season with 21 goals and 64 points in 40 games. That 1.6 points-per-game sat seventh most in the league and his 1.2 primary points-per-game sat 10th.

Heading into 2018-19, two things need to happen for the Oilers to jump back into the playoff picture:

– They desperately need to fix their power play woes and overall offensive potency. – They need solid goaltending.

Yamamoto won't be able to solve the issues in the crease (although a bounceback by Cam Talbot is quite plausible). He will, however, be able to contribute on the offensive side of things. Edmonton's power play was a DEAD LAST in the entire NHL last season. How a team can roll out McDavid, Leon Draisaitl and company and end up 31st on the PP is beyond me. That plummeted their overall goals-per-game output to 20th in the league.

Down the stretch, McDavid found chemistry with Nugent-Hopkins and oft-castoff, Ty Rattie. Rattie will get some rope to hold that spot on the RW next season but Yamamoto's speed and elite offensive instincts will be breathing down his neck. If he can pry that spot away, he'll be in the running for the best fantasy value of the year. (july30)

  6. It was a difficult first season in Montreal for Jonathan Drouin. Brought in to be groomed as the No.1 center, Drouin struggled at the position with a low 42.5 percent faceoff success rate just one symptom. The adjustment unfortunately also affected his scoring numbers, as he only totaled 13 goals and 46 points to go with a brutal minus-28. For a player that was drafted in the top 100 in most fantasy leagues, that wasn’t much of a return.

So, is Drouin an effective rebound candidate? A better question might be whether Drouin will ever be capable of meeting his upside. In spite of the perceived low point total, Drouin reached a career high in assists (33) and only fell seven points shy of his career high from a season earlier. Drouin was also a minus-13 during that 2016-17 season in Tampa Bay. So, assist-heavy point totals and poor plus-minus have been a part of his recent history with two different teams.

Given the fact that Drouin might be outside of the top 100 in single-season leagues, he might be a buy-low candidate to consider. To give you an idea, I offered Matt Duchene for Drouin in one keeper league and was turned down. There are more league rule factors at play than what I can describe here, but this particular owner knows the value of what he still has. Either that, or he’s not interested at all in Duchene, which is a whole other discussion.

If you believe in a Drouin rebound/breakout/whatever you want to call it, you’ll cite the fact that he is only 23 years old. Maybe you’ll even mention the breakout of his former junior teammate, Nathan MacKinnon. Remember that MacKinnon’s value seemed to have hit rock bottom at this time last season. Now he’s an MVP finalist. That’s not to say that will happen with Drouin but he may have needed a season to adjust to his surroundings. If there is less turmoil in Montreal in 2018-19, that will also help. (aug1)

  7. Although John Gibson is just 25 years old, he has already established himself as a reliable NHL netminder when he has stayed healthy.

Gibson played in a career-high 60 games last season, while his .926 save percentage was the fourth-highest among goalies who played at least 40 games. I believe it was Mike Clifford who first brought this up but Gibson’s save percentage while killing penalties was an incredible .916. That is a good six points higher than the next-highest goalie who played at least 25 games (Carter Hutton) and nine points higher than the next-highest goalie who played at least 40 games (Semyon Varlamov). The Ducks’ core might be getting older and they might be a bubble playoff team at this point but they should be solid in goal for the next little while. (aug5)

  8. Carey Price, Matt Murray, Cam Talbot, and Braden Holtby failed to even come close to their 2017-18 preseason rankings as top-tier goalies. Those were the first four goalies off the draft boards in many leagues last season! Of those four, the best save percentage was from Talbot (.908 save percentage), while the best goals-against average was from Murray (2.92 goals-against average). Those aren’t numbers that will win you your fantasy league but they could have played a major part in you not winning your league.

So yeah, investing a first-round or even a second-round pick in a goalie is risky business. Something you will know all too well if you drafted Holtby, Murray, Price, or Talbot last year. I’d much rather draft scorers and hope like crazy that I don’t get dragged into a goaltending run early. (aug4)

  9. It's not $9 million, but it's still quite a short-term haul. The Senators and Mark Stone have agreed to a one-year contract worth $7.35 million.

Whether he stays in Ottawa long-term isn't the only fantasy-related issue with Stone going forward. In spite of finishing with 1.07 PTS/GP in 2017-18 (14th among players with at least 50 GP), Stone has averaged just 64 games played over each of the last two seasons. Band-Aid Boy trainee material, maybe? So sure, you can project a point-per-game pace for him again, but you'll also need to deduct some games played from him again. But with this being (another) contract year and perhaps showcasing himself for other teams if the Sens continue to be a mess on and off the ice, Stone should be highly motivated to have a big year.

Another thing to consider about Stone in multicat leagues: He has never taken more than 160 shots in a season. This is from a combination of factors including the aforementioned injuries the past two seasons, as well as the gift of being able to consistently shoot at between 15-17 percent. Imagine what kind of fantasy monster he could be if he increased his shot totals! (aug4)

  10. Do we really know how valuable William Karlsson is? After all, he jumped from being a 20-25 point checker to a nearly 80-point top liner. The 2018-19 season will give us a better idea of who Karlsson really is.

I know that Karlsson simply didn’t slow down all season – not even in the playoffs. Yet he finished the season with an amazing 23.4 percent shooting accuracy, a number that was matched only by Alexander Kerfoot (who scored 19 goals in spite of taking just 81 shots). In the playoffs that dipped to 14 percent, but he managed to score seven goals in 20 games because he took 2.5 shots per game (50 shots), an increase from the 2.25 shots per game he averaged during the regular season. So, if Karlsson is to equal his 2017-18 production, he must shoot more.

Some shooters have a consistently high shooting percentage, which is their normal. Yet Karlsson’s previous shooting percentage was around the 6-8 percent mark when he suited up for both Columbus and Anaheim. I’d be willing to raise that shooting accuracy projection a few more points now that he’s getting better scoring opportunities on the top line. But, we have to plan for some regression here. Forty goals again? Don’t count on it. Thirty goals might be a more realistic projection. But, he is a top liner with a strong team now and should be treated as such. (aug5)

  11. Jeff Skinner was traded to the Sabres for a handful of magic beans: prospect forward Cliff Pu, a second-round pick in 2019 and a third-round and a sixth-round pick in 2020. That return obviously doesn’t consist of anything that can help the Canes today, although I do realize that they had to trade Skinner soon because he’s on the final year of his contract and reportedly seemed unlikely to re-sign in Carolina. Pu was the top right wing in the Sabres’ system, according to Dobber Prospects, so there’s that for the Canes.

Yes, this trade absolutely helps Jack Eichel and Sam Reinhart, and of course Skinner himself maybe more than anyone. It also potentially hurts Conor Sheary, who I wrote about for Bubble Keeper Week, though Casey Mittlestadt might not be a bad consolation prize. Our own Cam Robinson covered the Fantasy Impact of this trade for you. Not just from the Buffalo side, but also the Carolina side, unlike another fantasy impact piece that I read from another website. So I can’t really see much that he didn’t cover on this deal, although I’ll take one question from the comments.

  12. I think the Skinner trade improves the chances that Valentin Zykov makes the Hurricanes. Not only could he make the team but he could also be featured in a prominent role. To jog your memory, Zykov impressed as a late-season callup for the Canes, scoring seven points over ten games. Zykov also has the advantage of playing left wing, the same position as Skinner, so there’s definitely an opening. His NHL success was largely on the top line with Sebastian Aho and Teuvo Teravainen, so he could even find himself back on that line!

I like Zykov as a potential deep sleeper, even more so now that this trade has gone done. Andrei Svechnikov seems to be a slam dunk to make the Canes, while Martin Necas’ chances also seem very good. Both Svechnikov and Necas impressed at the Canes’ prospect camp last month. This is a trade that certainly helps the kids in Carolina, so you’ve got a few rookies to choose from in their lineup. (aug3)

  13. The Winnipeg Jets came to terms with restricted free agent, Nic Petan. The 23-year-old and his agent were surely pushing hard for a one-way contract but had to settle for a one-year, two-way deal that pays him $874,125 in the NHL and a ‘paltry’ $70K in the minors.

Petan has been stuck behind an abundance of talent in the Peg. He suited up for 54 games with the big club in 2016-17, while seeing two minutes per night on the power play. However, that total was reduced to just 15 NHL contests last season with virtually no opportunities on the man-advantage. Petan was amongst the top players in the American Hockey League last season when he produced 15 goals and 52 points in as many games. However, the logjam of forwards in front of him in Winnipeg, coupled with the two-way contract, means he’s likely destined to end up there for long stretches again next season.

This screams of a player in need of a fresh start in an organization that can facilitate his terrific playmaking abilities but forgive his weakness in the corners. There should be at least a handful of bottom-feeders making calls to general manager Kevin Cheveldayoff regarding the former Portland Winterhawks star. Pure speculation here but Canucks’ coach Travis Green was behind the bench in Portland when Petan was racking up triple-digit campaigns. He’s already showed an affinity for having his former junior stars in Vancouver with Derrick Pouliot and Brendan Leipsic in the fold; perhaps Petan could find his way back to the west coast. We all know Vancouver could use a little more offence. (aug2)

  14. The New York Rangers inked restricted free agent Ryan Spooner to a two-year contract worth $4 million per season. The former Bruin shone brightly upon joining the Rangers. He recorded two goals and 13 points in his first eight games on Broadway, while seeing between 15-19 minutes a night. Twelve of those points came at even strength. Not a bad show of faith to your new club.

The 26-year-old came back to earth after that, recording just one goal and three points over the final 12 games as New York sunk near the bottom of the standings. Yet, he still managed to set or tie career-highs in goals (13), even-strength points (34), points-per-game (0.69), hits (66), and time on ice (15:18).

The Rangers have him on a friendly contract and are hoping he can fill in as the team’s third center behind Mika Zibanejad and Kevin Hayes. Spooner will continue to work on the second power-play unit and create offence at even-strength. He’s a streaky player that can be utilized as a streamer off the wire. Just don’t hold on for too long. (aug2)

  15. I’ve mentioned how important shot totals are. It should go without saying that they’re important for every player, including Sonny Milano. They might be the reason that his NHL career hasn’t gotten off the ground. In 55 games last season, Milano took just 69 shots on goal. That’s barely over a shot per game. He may have even been lucky to score as many goals as he did (14), as his shooting percentage calculated out to about 20 percent.

Milano’s 2017-18 NHL proportion of goals to assists (14g-8a) look nothing like his career totals in other leagues, where he resembles more of a playmaker. That should be somewhat surprising, as his most frequent linemate was Oliver Bjorkstrand, a player with some offensive upside. Bringing in Riley Nash could help the former first-round pick, as this could provide the Jackets with a solid third line.

For now, though, I’d prefer to take a wait-and-see approach with Milano. He just finished his first full NHL season, yet the talented Milano isn’t likely on my sleeper radar yet. (aug5)

  16. Blackhawks’ Gustav Forsling is expected to miss the first month of the season after undergoing wrist surgery that will require about 14 weeks of recovery time. After starting the season with four assists in five games, Forsling made it onto one of my fantasy teams for a brief stretch. Finishing the season with 13 points in 41 games, Forsling holds some value in deep keeper leagues. (aug1)

  17. Claude Giroux was late becoming a full-time NHLer, with his first full season coming at the age of 22. Was it really his fault they let him toil in the QMJHL and AHL before bringing him up? He had 48 goals and 112 points in 63 games in his D+1 year and 38 goals and 106 points in 55 games in his D+2 year. They had him start 2008-09 in the AHL and he was over a point per game for nearly half the season. While I don’t know the circumstances around keeping him off the full-time roster for so long (maybe Philly fans can shed some light in the comments), he appeared ready offensively long before he got to the NHL for an 82-game season.

Over the last eight years, he ranks 2nd in points (only Sidney Crosby is ahead), 5th in points per game (ahead of names like Alex Ovechkin, John Tavares, and Ryan Getzlaf), and 1st in assists. Those are very impressive numbers that span nearly a decade.

There’s always the question of hardware. There are zero MVPs, zero scoring titles, and zero Cups. Those things matter to HOF voters. If the Flyers win a Cup in the next few years, this is a different conversation for a lot of people. The final sticking point is usually one of whether he was considered one of the top players of the sport at a given moment. I think some people might remember the ‘Baton Has Been Passed’ arguments from years ago which were always silly. Giroux did have a five-year span (2010-2015) where he led the league in points. Guys like Crosby and Ovechkin were certainly still the impact players ahead of him but of the non-generational players, it’s hard to look down your nose at a player who led the entire league in scoring for five years.

A final determination cannot be made right now, obviously. Giroux is heading into his age-31 season and there’s no telling what the future holds. What if he puts up a couple more 90-point seasons? What if he puts up a couple more 90-point seasons *and* adds a Stanley Cup? Or, maybe he continues hardware-less for his career, 2017-18 proves an anomaly, and he returns to the production levels of 2015-17? Regardless, where he stands right now, outside of the guys that are clearly HOF-bound, Giroux is at, or near, the top of the next tier. (july31)

  18. Dylan Larkin had 63 points last year, and only eight of the came on the power play. Not only that, he was the first forward in a decade to tally at least 63 points while shooting under seven percent. The last forward under the age of 25 to do it was Brad Richards in 2002-03. That’s not actionable fantasy information, I just found that interesting.

Anyway, it’s not hard to see Larkin having a monster season this year. He had a career-best in individual points percentage but the level he found himself shouldn’t be a concern. He was at about 73 percent and the top playmakers and producers in the NHL, names like Anze Kopitar, Artemi Panarin, Nathan MacKinnon, Taylor Hall, and Johnny Gaudreau found themselves in the 70-80 percent range. If the belief is Larkin is a burgeoning star (that is my belief), his IPP level isn’t a concern.

If that shooting percentage rebounds (it will; he can’t shoot 3.7 percent on the power play again), and he can boost his power play production overall, there could be a huge year coming. If Larkin pushed to be nearly a point-per-game player this year, it wouldn’t surprise me in the least. He’ll probably be on a lot of my teams. (july31)

  19. Former Hobey Baker winner Will Butcher isn't the most defensively responsible player but he knows how to execute offensively. The 23-year-old jumped right into the fire to begin his rookie season. He scored a goal and 15 points in his first 19 games and had the fantasy world buzzing. He was seeing north of three minutes per night on the top power-play unit and 16 minutes overall. The team sheltered him at even-strength but starting him in the offensive end 60 percent of the time.

As the season wore on, his numbers began to slide a tad. By the 60-game mark, he had accumulated 30 points, but he lost a full minute off of his power play time per night. After recording 14 power-play points in his first 40 games, he earned just two PPAs in a 20-game stretch. That bumped him down to the second unit. Butcher refused to slink into the night. He produced 14 points in the final 20 games. Seven of those points came from the power play.

His 44 points in 81 games were good for a share of 21st most by NHL defenders with Dougie Hamilton. That’s ahead of players such as Oliver Ekman-Larsson, Nick Leddy, Rasmus Ristolainen, Zach Werenski, and Ivan Provorov. Most of those players will be kept. Will Will Butcher? (I don't think I've ever written Will Will before)

Heading into 2018-19, his place in the lineup remains unclear. He was the team’s best option to run a power play featuring the reigning Hart Trophy winner in Taylor Hall and Nico Hischier. His performance down the stretch should earn him the first look on the top unit once again but he’ll need to prove consistent. If I'm a betting man, I'd say Butcher's will continue to produce a good amount of power play points in the future and should be capable of replicating his 40-plus point output. That's worthy of a keeper spot for most leagues. (july30)

  20. A word to the wise: Do not give up on Dylan Strome just yet. 2018-19 will be a telling season for the 21-year-old. His eight points (3-5-8) during the final 10 games last season represent a window into the potential we've been waiting on.

Projecting his place in Arozona’s lineup next season only makes this keeper decision more difficult. The Coyotes went out and traded for Alex Galchenyuk and immediately stated he will be given every opportunity to play the middle of the ice. Derek Stepan is a proven top six center who has chemistry with the team’s best forward, Clayton Keller. That leaves Strome to battle with Christian Dvorak and Brad Richardson for a shot as one of the bottom six pivots. Realistically, barring injury to Stepan or Galchenyuk, Strome will end up playing on the wing. Likely somewhere in the middle six. His role on the power play should stay consistent with what we saw down the stretch last season – him working the half wall and quarterbacking things on the second unit.

Holding onto Strome will be an effort in perseverance. He has the pedigree. He’s proven to have impressive skills and has filled the scoresheet at every level. You’ll be banking on a player that likely won’t return huge value this coming season but holds tremendous upside yet to come. I know I'd be keeping him over a veteran player who you can count on for 50-points. Swing big. That's what fantasy hockey is all about! (july30)

  Have a good week, folks!!

    from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-home/20-fantasy-hockey-thoughts/20-fantasy-hockey-thoughts-35/

[thecosydragon]

My latest blog post from the cosy dragon: Interview with Danielle Ellison

Danielle Ellison is a nomad, a lover of make-believe, and a bit of coffee snob. Always on the lookout for an adventure and the next story, she has had more zip codes and jobs than she can count.

In addition to writing, she’s the founder of the NoVa TEEN Book Festival in Virginia and a teen librarian. When she’s not busy with books, she’s probably watching her favorite shows, drinking coffee, or fighting her nomadic urges.

She is settled in Georgia (for now) with her cat, Simon, but you can always find her on twitter @DanielleEWrites.

I’m not going to be reviewing your newest novel, but from your other published novels, is there one that is your own personal favourite?

Honestly, they each have a special place in my heart. Besides the newest one, which is probably my favorite – I’d say Days Like This. I worked really hard on that one. Or Salt because it was the first one I published.

Everyone has a ‘first novel’, even if many of them are a rough draft relegated to the bottom and back of your desk drawer (or your external harddrive!). Have you been able to reshape yours, or have you abandoned it for good?

Oh goodness, my first book is in the proverbial closet forever and it will remain there. I learned a lot from that book. Parts of it have been reshaped into other stories that I’ve written, but I’ve never really gone back to it. I don’t think I would now either. While that was a fun story, I’ve grown as a writer and I’d rather move forward instead of going back. Sorry, first book.

Some authors are able to pump out a novel a year and still be filled with inspiration. Is this the case for you, or do you like to let an idea percolate for a couple of years in order to get a beautiful novel?

It varies. Some stories take longer than others. The Sweetheart Sham was started two years ago, then shelved, then taken out and written with my editor. Other books, some published and not, have moved much, much faster and some longer. Unless I’m on a deadline, I try not to stress myself with writing in a certain timeframe. I don’t go seeking inspiration or any of that because I write characters, so as long as they are there, I’m writing them.

I have heard of writers that could only write in one place – then that cafe closed down and they could no longer write! Where do you find yourself writing most often, and on what medium (pen/paper or digital)?

I write on the computer. It’s just easier for me. Sometimes I will venture into a notebook, but then it’s always typed up. I’m not really sure on the one place thing. I can write anywhere, I think. I do like having a go-to place, and when I lived in Georgia I had that. But here in Oklahoma, I don’t have that yet, but I only moved recently so I’m hoping to find it with my new routine.

Before going on to hire an editor, most authors use beta-readers. How do you recruit your beta-readers? Are you lucky enough to have loving family members who can read and comment on your novel?

My beta readers are always my agent and typically a friend or two, depending on the story and the kind of feedback I need. I have a beta reader, Traci, who reads EVERY book as I write it. We started that a couple years ago and now she can’t get away from me. She used to be a book blogger, and then when I was an editor at a small press, she was one of my editing interns. One day I asked her for an opinion on one of my stories, and ever since then she’s been one of my first sets of eyes. It’s great to have someone to talk to while drafting. I am very lucky.

I walk past bookshops and am drawn in by the smell of the books – ebooks simply don’t have the same attraction for me. Does this happen to you, and do you have a favourite bookshop? Or perhaps you are an e-reader fan… where do you source most of your material from?

I love bookstores. I was a bookseller for years and years, so bookstores hold a special place in my heart. I think indie stores, especially, are filled with passionate staffers and readers. My favorite bookshop is One More Page Books in Arlington, VA: great selection, atmosphere, awesome staff. (But I’m biased.)

That said, I love e-books too. I think there’s enough room in the world for both!

I used to find myself buying books in only one genre (fantasy) before I started writing this blog. What is your favourite genre, and do you have a favourite author who sticks in your mind from:

childhood? 

Goosebumps. Hands down. Those were my jam.

adolescence? 

VC Andrews – I read the first one  in 5th grade (the Orphan girls/Runaways series)—and Lurlene McDaniel. I thought all books ended sadly.

young adult? 

Harry Potter. I was a teen in love.

adult?

YA books, the whole genre really.

 Social media is a big thing, much to my disgust! I never have enough time myself to do what I feel is a good job. If you manage your own profile, please tell me as much as you are comfortable with in regards to your preferred platform and an estimate of time you spend doing it [and whether you like doing it!]

I use twitter and instagram, and I have an author facebook, but I’m not as good about it as I want to be. I love using it because it’s an instant connection with readers and other writers. That’s the best part for me. I get why people don’t like it. Sometimes, it can feel like you’re shouting into the void, but if you shout enough then someone will hear you. It’s changed a lot the last two years, so I’m still figuring it all out for the current climate of things. As far as how much time I spend, probably not enough.

About The Sweetheart Sham:

In a small town like Culler, South Carolina, you guard your secrets like you guard your cobbler recipe: with your life. Georgia Ann Monroe knows a thing or two about secrets: she’s been guarding the truth that her best friend Will is gay for years now. But what happens when a little white lie to protect him gets her into a fake relationship…and then the boy of her dreams shows up?

Enter Beau Montgomery: Georgie’s first love, hotter than ever, and much too much of a southern gentleman to ever pursue someone else’s girl. There’s no way to come clean to Beau while still protecting Will. But bless their hearts, they live in Culler—where secrets always have a way of revealing themselves.

Disclaimer: This Entangled Teen Crush book contains a hilarious “fakeship,” a scorching-hot impossible relationship, and a heartwarming best-friendship that will make you want to call your best friend right here, right now.

Buy link: http://ift.tt/2B6P0vZ

  Author Links:

Website, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Newsletter.

from http://ift.tt/2D1jtsB

#book bookreviews authorinterviews lovereading bookworm

[junker-town]

6 reasons Week 1 of the NFL season didn't make sense, and 4 reasons it did

The Jaguars and Rams won in commanding fashion. Huh?

The NFL season is finally upon us, and there were plenty of interesting things that happened in Week 1. Some of them were expected, but others weren’t.

Marshawn Lynch is finally back after a year in retirement. He gave us everything we’ve missed about seeing him on the field, and it was refreshing. The Rams also beat the snot out of the Colts, while the Jaguars did the same to the Texans.

If we would have told you the Patriots and Seahawks would be in last place, while the Jaguars, Rams, and Bills would be in first place after Sunday, you would have thought we were out of our minds. Not even Tony Romo could have predicted it. But all of that is true.

In Week 1, there were also major injuries, coaches on the hot seat, and Catch of the Year candidates. Here’s everything you need to know from an action-filled Sunday, the first of many to come in 2017.

How did THAT happen?

Here are six things that happened Sunday that left us in disbelief — but not in the same way as that Cole Beasley catch against the Giants.

1. Nobody took advantage of the relaxed celebration rules!

We’ve spent all offseason looking forward to how players would celebrate big plays in Week 1 knowing that the league has relaxed its rules about it. We were left disappointed. There were no notable celebrations on Sunday.

Worse, the networks didn’t do much to share the few celebrations that did happen.

We saw plenty of thrilling plays, but players just got up and got back to work. No dancing, no grandstanding, no celebrations of any sort. This is a departure even from the preseason. That gave us a Marvin Jones double-dutch celebration as well as the celebration that sits atop our current rankings, Taco Charlton making imaginary tacos for his teammates.

We still have two games on Monday night, so here’s hoping that players from the Saints, Vikings, Chargers, and Broncos have some fun celebrations in the works. That just wasn’t the case on Sunday.

2. The Jaguars, Rams and Bills are 1st place teams

It’s Week 1, so every team that wins a game gets to say they’re undefeated and in first place, and every team that loses is tied for last place.

But only three teams ended Sunday all alone at the top of their respective divisions and they’re far from the usual candidates. The Jacksonville Jaguars and Los Angeles Rams were the only winners from the AFC South and NFC West, respectively.

The Buffalo Bills were the only winner from the AFC East, although the Miami Dolphins haven’t yet had a chance to get a win after the team’s opener against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers was postponed until Week 11 due to Hurricane Irma.

Staying on top can be tough, so it might be a short reign for the teams out to an early lead, but enjoy it while you can Jaguars, Rams and Bills fans.

3. The Jaguars convincingly beat the Texans

The Jaguars dominated the game, which was surprising considering all of the bad things we heard about Blake Bortles all week.

The defense was giving the Texans’ offense hell. Not only did Calais Campbell play up to his new contract, but A.J. Bouye and Jalen Ramsey locked down DeAndre Hopkins. The box score might not reflect that, with Hopkins having seven receptions and a touchdown, but it was a long afternoon for Nuk and the Texans — who eventually benched Tom Savage for Deshaun Watson.

In relief, Watson completed 12 of 23 passes for 102 yards with one touchdown and one interception. Watson led the Texans to a touchdown on his first drive, but wasn’t able to make enough magic to complete a comeback effort in the 29-7 loss.

Bill O’Brien has been known to have a quick trigger when it comes to switching it up at quarterback. He did it in 2015 with the Texans and Ryan Mallett and Brian Hoyer. He also did it in 2016, when he pulled Brock Osweiler for Savage. In 2017, he did it half a game into the season.

The Week 2 starter has yet to be decided.

“I’ll think about it a long time tonight and try to continue to work on Cincinnati and see what the best approach is versus them,” O’Brien said Sunday.

4. The Browns look ... well, maybe not good, but closer to good?

The Browns’ season started just about as poorly as it could — a three-and-out that lost 9 yards, then a blocked punt the Steelers fell on in the end zone for a touchdown. From that point forward, Cleveland actually outscored its division rival 18-14, getting major contributions from its young stars in the process.

DeShone Kizer scored a pair of touchdowns (in between getting sacked seven times) and a still-building defense held Le’Veon Bell and James Conner to just 43 rushing yards on Sunday. Second-year wideout Corey Coleman, who missed a big chunk of his rookie season thanks to a broken hand, looked especially valuable, catching five of his six targets and notching a clutch fourth-quarter touchdown in the loss.

5. Andy Dalton might be trying to get Marvin Lewis fired

Marvin Lewis, winner of zero playoff games in his 14+ seasons with the Bengals, has been on the NFL’s coaching hot seat so long his ass must be made of asbestos. 2017 may be his swan song after Sunday’s 20-0 beating at the hands of the Ravens. Andy Dalton suffered through one of his worst games as a pro to start the season. He threw four interceptions, fumbled once, and barely completed more than 50 percent of his passes. Most inexplicably, he threw the ball away on a fourth-and-5 situation, dooming his team to awfulness instead of just mediocrity.

6. The Colts have been kidnapped and replaced by robots who don’t know how to play football

Nobody had high hopes for the Colts without Andrew Luck. That fact didn’t lessen the impact of watching them hit rock bottom in a 46-9 loss to the Rams.

Scott Tolzien started for the Colts, but might as well have been the Rams’ best player. He threw a pair of pick-sixes, and nearly threw a third had it not been for a facemask by Donte Moncrief. It would have given Tolzien a tie for most pick-sixes in a game.

Tolzien was so bad that he was pulled for Jacoby Brissett, a quarterback the Colts traded for eight days before, in the fourth quarter. Brissett helped put together the only scoring drive for the Colts, after going 2-of-3 for 51 yards. The drive was capped off by a Marlon Mack touchdown.

Things didn’t get better for the Colts after the game, when Chuck Pagano said that they got their asses kicked by the 49ers!

That’s quite the ass-whoopin’, the one where you forgot who you even took it from.

Not at all surprising

On the other hand, we’re not going to pretend to be shocked that any of the following happened:

1. Marshawn Lynch was perfect in his return

Aside from stuffing the box score a little more, you couldn’t really ask more of Marshawn Lynch in his first game back from retirement. Lynch finished the game with 18 carries for 76 yards, and one reception for 16 yards. But it was the other things that made it feel like a complete game from Lynch.

Whether it was punishing runs, somersaulting in the air, flipping the bird, or trying to make sure he wasn’t going to get fined for a lack of media time — we got the entire Beast Mode experience.

As Lynch said at his opening presser with his hometown Raiders, “This is actually born and raised and bred pissing in them hallways and running down them alleyways. I really did that, right here and now I get an opportunity to play here.”

He’s going to make the most of it.

2. Tony Romo is a good announcer

As much of a Twitter punching bag Tony Romo was over the course of his NFL career, the general consensus on his broadcasting debut was great.

Romo talked about safety blitzes before the snap, circling it for viewers to see with ease. He explained why certain plays were run, and showed proper enthusiasm when the moment was right.

He was even calling plays before they happened.

CBS Sports chairman Sean McManus was happy with the results. “I was pleasantly surprised, because social media by and large is very negative, for everybody, for all announcers and all networks,” he said. “The fact that it was positive is satisfying for me, but I also take it with a grain of salt.”

Romo’s career obviously didn’t end the way he would have liked, but this is a nice fit for him, and a way to stay near football.

3. A Duane Brown-less Texans O-line was somehow worse than advertised

On Saturday night, No. 3 Clemson held off No. 13 Auburn by sacking quarterback Jarrett Stidham 11 times. The Texans weren’t quite that bad on Sunday, but their performance was a passable impression of that Tigers offensive line.

Tom Savage lasted just one half as the team’s starting quarterback and was sacked six times — or nearly half of his 13 dropbacks. He was replaced by Deshaun Watson after halftime, and the exponentially more mobile rookie wound up getting sacked four more, including one that ended in a possession-ending fumble.

With three-time Pro Bowl left tackle Duane Brown holding out, the Texans offensive line had no structural stability whatsoever. If Houston is going to keep Watson upright, it’s time to give Brown the contract he’s angling for.

4. Tarik Cohen introduced himself to the world

The Bears drafted Cohen in the fourth round of the 2017 NFL draft out of North Carolina A&T. You may not have heard of him prior to Sunday, but Cohen was the MEAC’s all-time leading rusher with over 5,000 yards.

It was this run in the first half that had people glued to their TVs and devices beaming over the rookie.

Cohen finished the game with five carries for 66 yards on the ground, and eight receptions for 47 yards and a touchdown.

After the game, he compared the duo of himself and Jordan Howard to LeBron James and Isaiah Thomas. That’s some high confidence from the rookie.

Significant injuries from Sunday

David Johnson injures his wrist vs. Cardinals, and could miss significant time

Odell Beckham Jr. didn’t play Sunday night with an ankle injury, and the Giants REALLY missed him

Reuben Foster was carted off with an ankle injury, but he should be back “soon”

Kevin White broke his collarbone, and may be out for the season

Allen Robinson will miss the season after tearing his ACL