#I think that speech got my little baby egg ass so hard because it felt like relief

[mosstrades]

Sometimes. Sometimes it's really sweet to think about the way childhood media informed my trans identity... It's so sweet to remember how much of an escape Artemis Fowl specifically was for me, from 11 years old and onwards. To be plucked from discomfort and placed in that boy's head, how right it felt. To be fully transported to his world, and to those imperfect, gripping stories of wit and and kindness and intelligence and stubbornness and magic, how it softened the harsh edges of my mind. I joked once about his dramatic little "Artemis the hunter" speech and how it's no wonder I ended up being how I am, having that series as my favorite during my formative years- but also, yeah.

There's a reason that bit sticks in my head.

#I'm very fond of this dumb book series #very very fond #artemis fowl #and like... man #I think that speech got my little baby egg ass so hard because it felt like relief #The teasing about his name always pricked at me in a very specific way I had no hope of placing back then #and the payoff felt like such a power-move and it made me feel a sense of triumph I also had no hope of placing #and it's just... sweet #I remember those books very fondly #nick.txt #on a less emotional and funnier note it spawned an unbearable and lasting desire to own suits that burns bright to this day #but god DAMN those bitches expensive #Also it matters to me to say that I read them all in spanish and in my humble #(and only a little nostalgia tinted) #opinion #the translation really elevates the text #Spanish is just a delightful language #Like in Spanish he says 'man' not 'male' and that Mattered to me #'Yo soy ese hombre. Artemis el cazador. Y te he cazado a ti.' :'-)

[linksthoughtbrambles]

Like a hundred-pound draw.

Part 47 of Link's Thought Brambles

“Those two get along handsomely.”

They really do.  They both sure like the fudge.  Trading bites of all the different kinds.  Zelda’s surprisingly good with Chee.  And it gives me a chance to give mom a gentle slow dance.  I’m guessing everyone else is afraid to touch Sir Lyle’s wife with a ten-foot pole. Not that I think her feelings are hurt, but sitting on a hard seat all evening isn't pleasant.

“It’s helping your sister feel better.”

“…Hhh.  Yeah.”

“Now, Link, tell me truthfully.  How foul has your language become since you got here?”

“Aw, mom-“

“Pff- hh hh hh- honestly, Link, you’re a grown man, and I’ve little right to criticize your speech.  But did you have to let that out around Chee?  She’ll certainly use it as an excuse to let it out her own mouth.”

“I was surprised.”  Who knows what the hell Robbie’s seeing with those weird goggles, though.  For all I know, he can see me ALL the time.  That’s a nightmare-inducing thought.

“I’ll keep a list.  Each time she says it at home, it gets added and sent with your next letter.  Then you can see the consequences of your actions.”

“Ehh.  It won’t be that bad.  She’ll curse at the cuccos and Linda, that’s all.”

“And neither of them will deserve it.  That poor cow.  Your sister’s not as considerate of her as you.”

“She’ll get there, she just doesn’t have the patience yet.  Are you doing any of the milking or just Chee?”

“Mostly Chee.  Sometimes Barrie comes to help and we send him home with milk and eggs, or something sweet if he’s lucky.”

“Apples?”

“Oh yes, just Chee and Barrie there, too.  You didn’t think I’d be climbing for them?”

“Just making sure.  I’d have yelled at her.”

“No need, my Link.  She’s a good girl, just wild.  It’s a good way to be.  I’m not sure where she gets it from, for it’s in neither my nature nor your father’s.  You’re like her and yet unlike, too.”

Father.

“…Link?  I just felt your heart quicken.”

It’s not like she’s going to know, either.

“My darling, please.  I can see something unpleasant’s crossed your mind.”

“…Did I do something wrong?”

“Like what?”

“I… I don’t know?  I mean obviously, I’ve done a million things wrong since I got here, but I think father expected that.  It must’ve been something really bad.”

“…Do you mean since he hasn’t written?  You said you expected that.”

“I- I did, but then when I pulled the sword… I just thought he’d say something.  Send a letter telling me what a serious responsibility it was, or just race back here on horseback to make sure I didn’t make a total ass of myself.”  Mom squeezes.

“I’d have expected that, too.  He was destined for Tabantha Village, followed by the wild mountains of Hebra.  He may simply be snowed in.”

“For three months?”

.

Yeah.  I don’t think so, either. We're only approaching winter now... not that there isn't snow in Hebra even in summer, but now's not optimal snow-in time.

.

“Did he seem okay when he left?”

“More than okay.  He was-”

That is such a complicated look.  Sad about having been very happy and not being so happy anymore.

“He smiled so much, Link.”

“…Really?”  …Was he glad I was gone?

“He was so proud of you.  Told me you made short work of all the other trainees and even some of the knights before he left.”

…Oh.  “He didn’t say anything to me about that.”

Rubbing my shoulder.

“That’s just him.  Well.  He played with Laichee a good deal more than usual.  He did one of those rib roasts in the pit outside.  Without you around to help us eat it, I ended up sending Chee running through town with the extras.”

“Hehe, why’d he make something as big as that?”

“Well… It’s something he’s good at cooking, and he seemed to be making a special effort to take some of the chores off my shoulders.”

“Because of the baby?”

“Oh no.  He didn’t know about that yet.”

Right, right, duh!  “Well, I’m glad he was so nice.”

“He was more than nice, Link my dear.  He was romantic.”

Ewwwwwwwwwwww-

“Oh, come now.  That face!  Your father has a loving heart, just as you do.  I don’t make faces at you and your Princess.”

It’s… different when it’s your parents.

The king and half his guard are talking over near the door.  Planning?  We won’t be in this room much longer.  It must be past 6:30.  Probably later.  Zelda… eh, she’s busy.  She’ll probably check the slate when-

Oh, dumbass… YOU Have the slate.

Right.

Just a twist up and a quick tap.

“Link?”

“Sorry, just checking the time.  It’s… 6:35.”  Not much time left in this room at all.  And Purah clearly did not shut the slate off, because there’re all my thoughts just showing up on the screen and wow that is fascinating what if I think something that isn’t a real word like FOOFAAAA

“Haha!”

“Link?”

“Sorry.  Distracting myself.”  Put it away, Link.  You’ll have time to mess with it later.  Pay attention to your mom!  “Are you feeling okay?  With being pregnant again?”

“Yes.  Nothing too difficult.  I’ll make an extra effort to stay awake tonight.  I’ve been tiring out early.”

“Oh, mom, are you tired?  Do you want to go sit down?”

“Not yet, dear.  Too much sitting isn’t good, either.  The song's ending, though, isn’t it?  And I’m sure you’d like time to dance with your lovely Princess before the night’s done.”

“Well… yeah, but she’s also eating dessert, and believe me, I don’t want to interrupt that.  Until last week, she’d been all but starving herself.”

A shoulder squeeze.

“Why?”

“Kind of complicated.   Pressure, for sure.  Feeling- feeling like a failure.  Punishing herself for it.  Anyway, if she feels like eating, I sure won’t stop her.”

Here comes Jeralt.  Time to relay plans?

“Madam Junilla, may I have this dance?”

Wow!

“Oh!  Well, yes, if my son will agree.”

Guess he’s not terrified father’ll hang him by his ankles when he comes back.  “Sure, why not?  Have fun.”

It’s another gentle beat.  Zuho’s keeping it slow for the end.

Maybe I’ll wander over to the girls and see if I can resist trying all the fudge.  I really shouldn’t overdo it tonight.  After we’re all done in the bailey I’m dragging Zelda down to the kitchen so we canNO NO NO, I’m not.  We have other plans.

Maybe I can incorporate this plan into that plan.

And maybe they’ll save us some desserts for tomorrow.

Yeaaah.  Yeah, don’t mess with the first plan.  Food can wait.  Fudge keeps forever.  Except of course that everyone else’ll eat it.

“Link, you really ought to try some of this butter-nut fudge.  It’s extraordinary.”

“The wildberry one’s better!”

“Your sister and I have had a slight disagreement on that subject.  We do, however, both believe the dark chocolate version to be ‘righteous.’”

“Righteous?”

“Yeah because it’s SOOO good it puts all the other ones to shame.”

“Pff.  Guess I have to try all three.  Uh- unless there are others you recommend instead.  I want to keep myself mobile.  No overdoing it.”

“Yeah those three are the best, Link.  Right, Princess?”

“They are.  And I do believe after he eats these, your brother and I may dance again.”

“Yeaaaaah of couuuurse you will.  Wonder where that kid Tobe went?”

“He’s probably in the kitchen.”

“Oh, should I-?”

“No, Chee, stay with the group.  Later you can find him, though.  Or tomorrow.”

“Ria did say she’d be bringing the children back out to the festival after the ball.”

“Oh, yeah.  Great, that’ll work out.  Ria’s meeting us at the storeroom again with the Princess’ clothes.”

“Does that mean that crazy little girl’s coming, too?”

“Myrri.  Yeah, she should be.”

“She is NUTS.”

“Reminds me of someone else.”

“I was never that crazy.”

“Ohhh yes you were.  Not so fond of bugs, though.”

“Or thorns.”

“Yeah, true-“

“Or word jokes, that’s YOUR thing.”

“Uh.  Yeah, I guess so-“

“She is cute, though.  Not saying she isn’t.  She’s just not so much like me.”

“Hmmmm.”  Is it worth arguing with her about this?

….No.  “Okay.”

“What do you mean okay?”

Uh.  “… I mean okay.”

“You’re not gonna argue?”

“…No.  I’m going to eat this piece of fudge.  And then… this one.  And then that one.”

 And YUM.

Why do I have to be a high-ranking officer already?  The captain of the Princess’ personal guard?  The sword-bearer?  A fricking general?  If I were just a lowly guardsman, it would be totally acceptable for me to wait around in the hallway until the ball was over, sneak in, and then suck up as many of these little things as I could stick in my face before the waiters fought me off.

But no.  I’m me.  And I cannot behave like a living fudge-tornado.  Some reasons are social.  Others unknown-danger-related.

That’s the butter-nut one down the hatch.  “That was amazing.”

“Try the berry one!!”

Also yum.

Yet I feel as if both the Princess and my sister may have missed something critical.

What if you put BOTH in your mouth at the same time?

“Alright, look, you two.  These are both fantastic.  Can you eat more or are you stuffed?”

“I got space.” “I can handle more.”

“Okay.  I have to go easy. I think you should each put both in your mouth at the same time and tell me what you think.”

Chee-shrug.  Zelda-very-polite-royal-nod-bow-thing like she’s taking this as a very serious request.

Both mouths loaded.  Much chewing.  Much thoughtful face-scrunching.

“Mmmm, I don’t know, Link.” “Not as good.”

“What?!”

“Mmm.  No, it simply wasn’t meant to be.”

“It just sort of tastes confusing.”

“Aww.”

“Oh dear.  I believe your brother was hoping to live vicariously through us.”

“He DID live vicariously through us.   We just didn’t get this spectacular experience he was expecting.”

“Poor Knight.  Perhaps we ought try with the chocolate.”

I didn’t even try the chocolate by itself, yet.

“Pffff, your face.  Here.”

Thanks, Chee.  Wow.  WOW.  “This…. Is unbelievably good.”

“Yup.”

“…It’s perfect.”

“Indeed!”

“… We can’t adulterate this.”

“Why, Sir Knight. Do you dare dictate what I may or may not put in my mouth?”

In through the nose. Out… also through the nose, because I’m chewing.  Yes.  Calm.  Find her eyes.  “Apologies, Princess.  I would only dare to dictate what goes in mine.”

Wait for it.

Oh yes.  Reward.  Pink ear-tips!

“Are we doing this, or what?”

“…Certainly, Chee.  How shall we approach this?”

“I say you try your flavor with the chocoloate and I try mine with the chocolate.”

“How reasonable.  Let’s.”

They’re adulterating it.  I hope it’s worth it!

Deep concentration.  They haven’t even opened their eyes.

“Hmmm.”

“Mmmm, yeah.”

“… Well?”

“The butter fudge has calmed the punch of the dark chocolate while the nuttiness accentuates the bitter overtones.  On the whole, I like it, but I believe both flavors were better alone.”

“Not me Princess! This is SO awesome!  Berry chocolate fudge!  Try it, Link, try it!”

“I’m really trying not to eat that much, Chee.”

“If I was able to take in a significant amount of fudge, I believe you would not be remiss to indulge in a little more.  Chee’s flavor was, apparently, quite remarkably paired.”

Wellll….

I’m nowhere near full.

Which was the point.

I don’t want to be walking around out there feeling full and sluggish.  And I definitely don’t want to be resisting the urge to relieve myself.

Can I do those two little fudge cubes?

I think I can do it.

“Alright… last thing.  You’re sure this is worth it, Chee?”

Wild head-nods.

“Okay.” One dark chocolate, one wildberry.

Ohhhhhh.

No, Link.  No.  Chew slowly.  Do NOT swallow it. Do not.  Let it… exist… in your mouth.  It can’t last forever, because the longer it’s in my mouth, the more saliva I make, and I can’t just keep letting my mouth fill up and then drool chocolate-water all over my front.  So… swallow just enough to clear it all out.

“Hey Princess?”

“Yes, Chee?”

“Sh sh sh-“

“Heh… alright…”

“Does he make that face when you smooch?”

“OH- hahahaha-“ “KMPH-“

Uugh.  I saved it, at least.  None of it left my mouth.

“Well.  Ah- not exactly-”

“Huh.  Does she?”

“Chee!”

“You gotta try harder.”

“You would NOT know.”

“I know what you look like when you think something’s AMAZING.”

You may think you do…

“I take it, then, that you approved of the wildberry and dark chocolate combination.”

“Ohh yes.  Really really good.”

“Hm hmm.  Really, really good.”

Where did that wicked little twinkle in her eye come from?

“I shall keep that in mind.”

…Keep what in mind?  The words?  The look on my face?  The food itself?

She’s… not going to tell me.  Just pulling me back out to the dance floor.  Bye, Chee- “Oh!”

“Link?”

“We need to look at the pictures on the slate.”

“Oh.  Yes.”

Disappointed.  Very very disappointed.  “Sorry.”

“No, you’re right of course.  Here, let me-“

…Link.  She’s just untying the slate.  That’s all.  There’s nothing suggestive about it.  You can’t even feel her hands on you.  Just tugs.  She’s not undoing your laces.  She’s not.  Stop thinking about it.  She’s clearly not even thinking about it.  That’s all-business-face.  I wouldn’t want her to have that face on.  If she did, I’d have to stop her and ask what’s wrong.  I’d want her to have that look… the look she had when we returned to the castle.  When she asked me to put her arm around her shoulders.  Her eyes darker.  Lips parted.  Moving slowly, not trying to finish as fast as possible.  Drawing out the moment.  Maybe- maybe running her fingertips first, before even touching the laces, to- to- to-

Link…

Stop it!

…That’s… she- she’s upright, now.  Studying my face.

“Why, Link.  You appear suddenly too warm.”

Warm doesn’t even begin to cover it.

“Let’s get you seated.”

Yes, Princess.

Think cool things, Link.  Um.  Snow?  Does that help?

…Not really.

How many times have I been saved by the fact that I wear thick, rugged pants and a tunic?  This isn’t so bad.  Nothing like what happened when she pulled me into that storeroom.  Still, would be embarrassing if I was dressed like that guy over there in the tight trousers and shiny doublet.

…How do those people stay sane?

How do they stay CALM?

He’s dancing with a very pretty woman.  I think they’re married, I’ve seen them together here before.  Maybe that’s how?  Maybe it’s not new anymore?   Or maybe other people just aren’t as distractible as I am.

That last one could easily be it.

“Here.”

Seat.

Calm.

Pictures.  Important.

She’s turning it on.  Aaaand there are my thoughts again, still weird- oh!  “That’s all you have to do to get rid of it?”

“Ah- eh, yes.  A simple swipe.”

That was easy.  Amazing it took her so long to figure that out!

“Album.”

A bunch of nature pictures.  Guess she unloaded the ones at the ancient columns when she was at the lab.  Whoops.  Guess I did take a picture at the lab after all, but it was of my feet.

“Eh hehehehe.  I didn’t look at this.  You did fumble, didn’t you?”

“Erm.  Yeah.”   Wow, she didn’t look?  She must’ve been ceaselessly occupied.

She has been, really.  Not only with the slate itself at first but also with all the drama.

There has been SO MUCH DRAMA.

And then the training yard, and prep for the festival, and researching blessings, and somehow finding time to make me not one but TWO new tunics.  I’m guessing Jirolie makes the pattern itself and Zelda sews it.  Still… she can’t have been getting much sleep at all.

She’s done a lot for me in the last few days.  She didn’t have to loop me in on the festival stuff.  She wanted to.  I was… feeling overwhelmed.  By my position.  By my own… confusions in my head that don't let me relax.  By the other people in this castle… and by the king scaring the absolute living s@#$ out of me.  Zelda helped a lot.  She notices more than she lets on, doesn’t she?

“Here are the ones Purah took looking back at the crowd as we departed.  The ones most likely to contain something, perhaps?”

It’s a sea of people.  So many.  “Is anyone obviously… ugh.”

“Indeed.  We are public figures, and therefore do draw a certain amount of scrutiny.”

A lot of those people have their faces turned toward us.  It’s… not going to be an obvious lurker, is it?

Next one.  Not all that different.  A few people have turned away, a few toward.

Next.  No… no obvious clues.

“Anything stick out to you?”

“No, Link—unfortunately not.  Let’s try the earlier ones.”

In the bailey proper.  While we were walking.

So many curious looks.  Lots of kids.

Heh- hey, there’s Mrs. Rocelle’s head. Looks like she tried to wave at us, we didn’t see her… “That bugs me, Princess.”

“What does?”

“Look.  She tried to say hello and we didn’t even notice.  The people crush is so much we’re missing things that should be obvious.”

“…It is worrisome.  Especially for you.  You’re more exposed than I am.  Someone… Link, someone could easily be carrying a knife in that crowd.”

“…I react fast.  As long as I see it coming, I think I could stop it.”

“I’d feel better were you in the center with me.”

“No way.”

“Why not?”

“It’s an obvious tip-off.  I’m your appointed knight.  I protect you.  If we suddenly change that, it’s obvious we’re afraid of something.”

“Is that such a detriment?”

“You don’t think an ordinary person, seeing that, would be worried for their own safety?  At least part of the point of all this is to give these people hope.  We can’t look like we’re terrified.  Protecting you is reasonable—you’re the crown princess.  Protecting me?  That sends nasty signals.  And… at least now we have a vague idea of where the danger is.  Part of me is hoping it’ll pop up and we can deal with it now rather than end the day wondering what it was.”  And never be able to sleep soundly again.

Not that I do now.

“… I shall defer to you on this.  I… am not a knight.”

“Not exactly.  You’re a marshall, though, that must count for something.”

“Heh.  Words, only.  I have much to learn am I to shift my way of thinking to a military one.”

“You… you won’t be giving up, will you?  On your research?”

“Of course, not!”

“Good.”

More pictures.

So many faces.

The guards try not to look at us as blatantly as the rest of the crowd, but you can still see their eyes on us.  They just don’t turn.

And there’s Rennie and Greggan and all the guards lining the crowd on that side.  The two medics.  The guards around the mouth of the second gatehouse.  They’ve been bringing the targets and tables in and out of there, which makes sense.  That’s kind of the right direction for some of those bad feelings for sure, but there’s also the one that was moving.

They were basically flanking the range, weren’t they?

“She got some shots toward the curtain wall, right?”

“Yes, I think so—here.”

“Pff.  Mad Miss Morsels.  She’s just about in the right direction for that second warning… though it was moving.”

“It’s not outside the realm of possibility that she herself moved.  There’s a cluster of outhouses that way.”

“…Nah.  I’d have felt something worse near her.  I didn’t.”

“Reasonable.”

“…Nothing’s standing out to me.”

“Nor I, I’m afraid.  Shall we go through them again?”

“Yeah.”  And again, and again, until we run out of time in… “About ten minutes.”

“Let’s make it twenty.  Removing these dresses is easier than putting them on.”

Twenty minutes it is.

Sword… you’d better be ready.

_____

I don’t feel it.

What does that mean?

We’re almost at the range.  The bailey’s still loaded.  Lit as well as it can be with braziers and torches. Some people seem to have left, but it’s still tough to cut through the crowd.  Just as much opportunity for someone to lurk.

Why aren’t they?

Did we luck out?  Maybe whoever it was gave up.  Or maybe we didn’t luck out, and it simply moved somewhere else.

Like… deeper into castle grounds.  Not a comforting thought.

Sword?  Are you working?

SwordareyouthereswordareyouthereswordareyouthereswordareyouthereswordareyouthereswordareyoutherecomeoncomeoncomeonswordareyouthereAREYOUTHEREAREYOUTHERE

!!!!!

…That felt… distinctly like a “shut up.”

I’m insulted, sword.  You were the one warning me.

I guess it’s not just slacking off… if it’s not warning me, it doesn’t feel or sense or hear or something… whatever that something originally was.

I know nothing.  Nothing.

I didn’t feel anything at all near the ballroom, so whatever it is can’t have passed near there.  That room’s sort of central-ish… well, west-central.  I guess I should feel a little better… it might mean nothing went toward the Princess’ chambers.

Then again, I don’t know the sword’s range, and someone could easily circle around if it knew I had noticed it.

Could someone have known?

“You look worried, Link.”

“…Yeah, Turro.”

“Do you feel it?”

“No.”

“…Isn’t that a good thing?”

“I’m not sure.  At least I’m on edge on my own, not forcibly.”  Nice to know I can be watchful without prodding. I don’t have to give the sword credit for everything.

“Not that I’d expect to if you don’t, Link, but I also feel nothing unusual.”

“Good to know.”  There’s Greggan.

“Princess and all.”

“Good evening, Sir Greggan.”

“This’ll be the longest round for you.  Fewer people, more rounds per person.”

“I see.”

“We won’t be having you move at all, and I’m putting you right in front of Rennie.”

Heh.  Smirk.  “…You figure she’ll win?”

“You’re likely to go right up to the end, Your Highness.  There’s some stiff competition here.  Most of the soldiers didn’t enter because so many duty schedules today don’t allow it.  But I’m sure you’ve seen Kertiss.  He’s muscular to say the least.”

I’d beat the bastard.

She might not.  And that would be really Goddess-damned annoying.

“And there’s a few others who’ll give you a run for your money.  One of the blacksmiths entered, and they build their strength every day with their profession.  Farmhands, too.  Clarny from Mabe Village is here, and he’s built like a Goron miner.”

Too bad we didn’t have more time.  We could’ve buffed her up.  Starting at the strength level she has puts her easily in reach of what I can do.

After this, Link… you train your ass off, and you train with her.

“Shall we take our positions?”

“By all means, Your Highness.”

Same deal.  We surround her.  We have to leave a hole so Rennie can see, and some of the crowd.  Half turned that way… half turned toward the Princess’ table.  Look sharp.  Be as intimidating as I can with my not-so-high-height and my still-wonky seam and my scuffed boots.

The boots might help, actually.  Shiny boots mean rich poof.  I am certainly not that.

Be loose.  Ready to move.

Most in the crowd aren’t people we talked to in town.  Those people are running stalls.  I recognize many of the other faces, but I don’t know their names.

I see the man who tipped his hat to the Princess on the way to the Cathedral.  He has a young-ish boy with him.  Maybe 13 years old?  They’re talking.  Excited.  Definitely watching her.

Lots more people filling in.  Just a few minutes to the start- there’s the horn.  Warning everyone to get over here if they want to watch.

Purah-?  Yes.  Slate out.  Taking pictures.

Can she keep all those?  It’s limited.

I’ll ask later.

Mipha?

Looking out.

So hard to tell from the outside how she’s feeling.  But… I can only imagine.

Keep watch now.

Hey, there they are.  Mrs. Rocelle and the kids.  Waving!

Wave back.  “Hey, Princess, do you see-“

“Indeed, yes!  HELLO, CHILDREN!”

“PRINCESS!” “WOO!” “YOU’RE GONNA WIN, RIGHT?” “BEAT ‘EM!” “SQUEEZE THEIR WIMPY HANDS!”

“Hehe, I SHALL DO MY BEST!”

“SIR LINK! WHY DIDN’T YOU ENTER?”

“DUUUUH, BINA, IT’S CUZ HE DOESN’T WANNA BEAT THE PRINCESS!”

“IS THAT WHY, SIR LINK?”

Do you dare say the joke that just popped into your head?  It’s not true.  But it’d be kind of nice to say.  “NOPE!  I DON’T WANT HER TO BEAT ME!”

Wow.  Huge crowd-laugh-surge.

I guess I’m a comedian.

That would’ve been a nice job for me, actually.  I’m ridiculous enough for it.

…Who am I kidding?  I’d be a stablemaster, just like Brinn suggested.  Such a good idea.  I wouldn’t stop monster-hunting, though.  Not fun… but important.

Oh.  Zelda’s laughing, too.

“Link, you’re terrible.”

“Eh, just a little fib.”

“Now, you see, I shall have to try extra hard.  For if anyone defeats me, they would allegedly defeat you, also.”

“…Oops.”

“Perhaps I ought to have tried one of those famous mighty elixers from the apothecary.”

Damn.  I bet she had some rupees on her.  We could’ve bought some.  Oh well.  That would be cheating for this anyway, and we do NOT want the Princess to be a cheater.

Does the apothecary have a stall here?  I don’t think so.  It’s not the kind of thing that lends itself to it.  Too fiddly.  Doesn’t seem like an impulse-buy, either, but maybe I’m wrong.  It never even occurred to me while we were in there.  Guess I was too focused on other things.

“ALRIGHT!  THIRD ROUND, SET ONE!  LISTEN UP!  Help me out here, Rennie—thanks.  FIVE!  NINE! SEVENTEEN! TWENTY-TWO!  THIRTY-ONE!”

Looks like thirty-one’s first for us.

“FORTY-THREE! FORTY-EIGHT! FIFTY-NINE! SIXTY-TWO! SIXTY-EIGHT! EIGHTY!  NINETY-FIVE!  NINETY-NINE! A HUNDRED THREE!  A HUNDRED SIX!  HUNDRED-AND-ELEVEN!  HUNDRED-AND-NINETEEN! A HUNDRED TWENTY-EIGHT!”

Here he comes.  Big guy.

“A HUNDRED THIRTY!”

Not much but big guys left at this point.

“A HUNDRED FORTY-EIGHT!”

Forearms covered in curly hair.

“A HUNDRED FIFTY-FIVE!”

I… am very glad mine aren’t like that.  I have enough image problems.

He seems a little pale.  Either he’s worried about getting beaten by a small woman, or he’s worried HE’LL win and there’ll be consequences.

“Good evening, Sir.”

“G-good evening, Princess.”

“May I ask your name?”

“Oh, I’m just Dunso, Princess.”

“Please, have a seat.  Where are you from, Dunso?”

“Carok Village, Princess.”

“Ah, are you a quarryman, then?”

“Yes, Princess!  It’s good work.  Makes you, er, strong, begging your pardon, Your Highness.”

“My pardon is entirely unnecessary, sir.  I look forward to our challenge.”

“ALRIGHT!  YOU KNOW THE RULES!  SQUARE YOUR SHOULDERS TO START!  YOU NEVER CROSS THE CENTER OF THE TABLE!  ELBOWS ON TABLE AT ALL TIMES!  NO BRACING WITH YOUR OFF-HAND!  FEET START GROUNDED!  YOU DON’T INTENTIONALLY RIP YOUR HAND OUT OF YOUR OPPONENT’S GRIP!  YOU WIN WHEN ANY PART OF YOUR OPPONENT’S HAND PAST THEIR WRIST TOUCHES THE TABLE!  THE SET BEGINS WHEN I SAY GO!  YOU START EARLY, YOU’RE OUT!  SPOTTERS, ATTENTION TO YOUR TABLES!  SET ONE…READY!”

The crowd in one corner of my eye.  Her in the other.  Turro facing outward at my back.

“SET!”

They’re clasped.  She looks calm.

“GO!”

He’s strong.  Both straining, but he’s straining harder and she’s winning.  Slowly eeking his hand toward the tabletop.

Slowly.

Slowly.

Faster.

Down.

“Amazing, Princess!”

“An excellent effort, Dunso.  That was the most difficult yet.”

“I’ll be… thank you, Princess!”

He’s up with a nod.  I think he’s glad to get out of here.  Uncomfortable, maybe?  Impressed, I think.

I already see Rennie writing it in his book.

“That was quick.”

Turro.  “Yep.”

“How difficult was that one really?”

“It was not exactly a challenge, but I did have to exert significant effort.”

“You could’ve beat him faster?”

“Yes.”

Some others are already walking up to Rennie.  Reporting a win or a loss.  Winners stand aside.  Losers join the crowd or just leave.

There’s Kertiss.  Guess he won fast.

That’s… some glare.

Okay.  Eye contact’s not really my thing.  But I’ll be damned if I look away from this jerk first.

Still looking.

Stiiiiiill looking.

“How’s it going, general?”

Should’ve known.  He wasn’t shy about shouting in the yard.  “Fine.”   That came out mercifully unemotional.

“So, you think the Princess would beat you, huh?”

I regret my joke.

“So, if I beat her, I beat you, yeah?”

Say nothing.

“Come on, Link.  Don’t be a coward.”

“HEY!”

Ooh.  That made him jump.  The kids behind him.  Who-

“DON’T YOU DARE CALL MR. LINK A COWARD!”

It’s Jenger.

“YEAH!” “YOU STINK!” “WE’LL-“ “THAT’S-“ “YOU-“

“HEY KIDS!”  …Good.  They stopped.  “I GOT THIS.”  Heh.  Their tiny little fists are all balled up.  It’s cute, but… I don’t know where Kertiss’ dickishness ends.  I don’t want him to have any reason to be nasty to them.  “Kertiss.  Any time I’m off duty.  Come find me.  We’ll fight it out if that’s what you want.”

…Hmm.

Suddenly quiet.

Maybe I’m not the coward.

Greggan’s pointing people toward their next tables.

Kertiss... isn’t coming here.

Yet.

It’s another big guy, though.  Not a surprise.

Two hesitant nods. One for me and one for the Princess.

“Evening, Princess.”

“Ah, Boemer!  Good evening.”

“I, ah- that is-“

“If you are about to suggest discomfort with doing your best to defeat me, which some have, please be assured I wish you to fight your hardest.”

More nodding.  “Okay, Princess.  I… I am one of the strongest smiths in the shop.”

“I believe it—and I appreciate the challenge.”

They’re getting ready.  Hands clasped already.  Should only be-

“ALRIGHT!  SET TWO…READY!  SET!  GO!”

Oooh.  This one’s harder.  She did a sudden lift of her head.  More attentive.  More alert.

And again, his hand is slowly making its way toward the table.  He looks frankly shocked.

“W-wow.”

That she’s not responding says how hard she’s working for this one.

And still working.

Scan the crowd, Link.

And still working.

So slow.

She’ll get tired out.

Wish I could see Kertiss… how long his was taking.

Lower.

And lower.

And lower.

…And…

Down.

Cheers and claps behind Rennie.

“Incredible, Princess!”

“Thank you.  You are indeed remarkably strong.”

“I’m glad I had this chance, Princess.  The boys in the shop’ll never believe it.  They thought I was a shoe-in.”

“I hope they shan’t be too disappointed.”

“Disappointed, no, I don’t think so.  Surprised, yeah!  Ah- good game, Princess.”

“Yes.  Good game!”

Very polite.  Nice to hear.

We… were the last table going that time.  The others are already waiting.

And Kertiss, predictably, is still there.  He’s a fricking bear.

Greggan’s pointing them outward.  Five tables left.

Here’s ours.

“I’m so glad to meet you, Princess!”

Well, he’s chipper.

“And I you, sir?”

“I’m Gleppit.  I work with the Mabe Village Co-op raising cattle.”

“Ah!  I’d heard the co-op had helped the village a good deal.”

“Yes, Princess, we’ve been able to help the folks whose farms and equipment were in worse repair, and now they produce more, and we’re all better off.”

“I hear you’ve been exporting a good deal of milk and butter.”

“We have, it’s been so successful we’ve been turning a lotta cow’s milk into butter, not just goat.  It just lasts so much longer.”

The political butter-landscape.

“ALRIGHT!”

She didn’t even

“O-oh!”

need to know much

“SET THREE!”

to talk to him about it.

“Shall we, Gleppit?”

Just ‘I hear you’ve been

“READY!”

exporting lots of milk

“Yes, Princess!”

and butter.’

“SET!  …GO!”

Wow. Well, this one doesn’t seem as bad, actually.  He must’ve gotten a string of less-burly opponents.  She’s got him handily.

Seems relieved.

…He’s down.  Crowd-cheer, especially from those kids.

“Aw.”

“Oh dear.  I’m sorry, Gleppit.”

“Naw, don’t be sorry, Princess.  Everyone’s been saying how strong you are.  If I was gonna lose, losing to you is the best way to go out.”

“Indeed!  I thank you for that.”

It’s so easy, isn’t it?  To talk to her.  She doesn’t have this aura of I’m-royal-don’t-bug-me.  Neither does the king, really, though that stern/angry/growly voice he has is powerful.

Yet I wouldn’t talk to her for the longest time.

My own fault.  Not hers.  Though I was by no means the only one.

I wonder… it was my father who put that idea in my head.  Did he have something to do with the rest?  Did he discourage people from talking to her?  Zelda said he never showed her any affection.  I can… easily see him just plain old thinking it wasn’t appropriate.  Even if he thought she was a cute kid, he’d keep his feelings to himself.

Would he also have told the rest of the guard to do the same thing?

Yeeaaaaah.  Yeah, he would.

I don’t know.  Maybe I’m just blaming him for stuff because I’m annoyed with him.

This… is awkward.  Five tables.  Five winners.  Not an even number.  I know Greggan couldn’t control how many people entered, so it is what it is.  Still, it means someone sits this round out.

Names… in a basket, huh?

“LISTEN UP!  TWO SETS LEFT!  ONE CONTESTENT SITS THIS ROUND OUT.  WE’VE FIVE NAMES IN HERE!  PRINCESS ZELDA!  CLARNY OF MABE VILLAGE!  BERTOLL OF AQUAME!  KERTISS OF AKKALA HEIGHTS!  AND MIRRABAN OF CASTLE TOWN!”

She’s the only woman… but she has been almost since the start of the tournament.  Shearge entered, but someone must’ve knocked her out in the second round.

…I don’t know if I want him to pull her name or not.  If he does, people might cry foul.  He’s digging around for it.  The paper’s in his hand.  He's grinding his teeth. Guess he doesn't like what it says?

“CLARNY!  YOU’LL SIT THIS ONE OUT!”

Two more papers.

“KERTISS!  YOU’LL FACE PRINCESS ZELDA!”

F#@$.

“BERTROLL AND MIRRABAN, OVER HERE!”

Here he comes.

He’s not smirking.  Doesn’t look cocky, exactly.  Does look deadly serious.  I bet he knows I’m watching his hands and abdomen like a f@#$ing islander hawk.  I don’t think he’s the danger the sword sensed… I think he’s just a dick.  But I’m ready.

“Turro, be on the watch outward, would you?”

“Yeah.”

“Virn…”

“I’m on it, sir.”

He’s… been good about this.  About today. It’s a relief.

“Princess.”

“Kertiss.”

Hehe.  That paused him.  His title’s gone.  Not sure he’d thought about it.

Sinking slowly into his seat.  Both hands flat on the table.  Searching her face for something.  Even the idea of letting him touch her pisses me off, but it’s her choice, not mine.  And she sure doesn’t look like she’ll back down.

No small talk, huh?

“SET FOUR!  READY!”

Hands clasped.  He- okay… he’s not trying to crush her hand.  That’s good.

“SET!”

Guess he doesn’t hate her.

“GO!”

…Wow.

No movement either way.

Two rocks caught between moving earth.

Tendons standing out in both their necks.  Their wrists.  His forehead muscles tensed.  I see something sticking out there.  And both their faces are starting to turn red, though her breathing’s more controlled than his.

“Gmpk.”

That… sound came from her.

Don’t hurt yourself, Zelda.  If he’s going to win, he’s going to win… it’s not worth it.  You still have archery to do, and that you will nail as long as Purah’s not an idiot this time.

No movement.  At all.

Murmurs from the crowd.  A series of ‘wows’ woven together into a tapestry of sound.

“Hoooo.  Hooo.”

Trying to moderate his breathing.

Hers is getting heavier.  Still even, though.  Controlled.

“Damn.”

I… hope she didn’t hear that.  Be quiet, Greggan.

.

.

.

.

“Gg. Gg.”

If it’s hurting you, ease up.  Ease up, Princess.  Ease- THEY SLIPPED!

“HOLD!  Hold.  Let’s have a look.”

Checking their palms.

“Sweat.  FOURNIER!  STRAP!”

Great.

“Apologies, Princess.  Sweat makes you slip, and that could end in broken bones for someone.  We’ll strap your hands.  Is that alright?”

“Yes.”

This bugs me.  A lot.  Her choice, though.  Her choice.

Here he comes.

And they’re belting them together.

“Alright.  ALRIGHT!  ONE MORE START!  READY… SET… GO!”

…Two trembling arms.  No other motion.

.

.

.

.

.

!!

A centimeter.  In his favor.

No, Princess.  No-

She’s straining harder.

Her ankles locked together, feet off the ground.

There he goes.  Doing the same kind of thing.

“Gmph-“ “Bff-“

No.  No, just let him win, don’t just stop but ease up-

Her face has gone BEET RED AND SHE’S PUSHING SO HARD AND SHE MOVED HIM BACKWARD AND SHE’S STILL MOVING HIM AND HOLY S@#$ SHE’S ACTUALLY GOING TO DO IT ISN’T SHE SHE’S-

Ohhh… oh no-

Now he’s puffing cheeks with every breath.  Something’s jumping in his neck.  Pushing back harder, but his hand’s still halfway down, still there, just halted, halted-

“Phooooo- phooooo- phoooooo-“

And another huge effort on her part and she’s pushing pushing pushing PUSHINGPUSHING HE’S GOING DOWN HE’S GOING HE’S HIT!!!!!!!

“Haaah!”  “Goddess… DAMN it.”

He looks PISSED off- don’t you dare-

Okay… he’s not.  He’s not just ripping his hand out of the strap.  He is undoing it, though.  It’s off… and both their hands are red and dented.

“Ffffff.  Princess…”

“Yes?”

“Don’t let it go to your head.”

F@#$ you, you dick.  In fact, “F@#$ you, you dick.”

“Shut up, Link.”

…Oh, we’re staring each other down now, are we?  Wh-

“S@#$- Turro what do you think I am, some f@#$ing traitor?  Don’t worry.  I won’t hurt your precious hero.”

But apparently, he’ll bend over so he can be nose-to-nose with me and Greggan’s now flanking him looking ready to shiv him if he makes one wrong move.

“You know, your dad told us a lot about you before you got here.”

“I figured.”

“You’re a wimpy, whiny, skinny, shrimpy, girly s@#*.”

“Am I?”

“You don’t have what it takes to use that sword on your back.”

“And you think you do?”

“More than you.  I don’t get distracted by the color of my f#$*ing hair band.”

.

“Oh ho ho.  Nothing to say to that, huh?  You’re not a real soldier.  This ridiculous bullshit with you and the Princess is the last straw.”

“Kertiss-“

“NO, Greggan.  I’ll say my piece.  This is a sham.  YOU’RE a sham.  Faking it.  Trying to make it seem like you’re a real man when you’re not.  Sir Lyle isn’t some fool.  You didn’t FOOL him.  You’re fooling the Princess.  I can’t stand watching it-“

“So our PRINCESS is the fool, then?”

“Wh- that’s not-“

“You misogynistic asshole.  Get out of my face.  Now.”

“Or WHAT?”

“Or I put you in the dirt where you belong.”

“It’ll be the other way around you f@#$ing f@$$)%.”

“HHH!” “KERTISS!” “Come ON, man!” “How DARE you!” “”AH-HH!” “What in Hylia’s name does that mean?”  “Oh… my.”  “Eh?” “Shut UP and GET OFF MY FIELD!”

Z-Zelda?

Her hand.  Slipped into mine.  Staring at him.  Waiting for him to meet her eyes.

There… there they go…

And…?  Now she’s ignoring him!  She’s smiling at me instead.

“It wouldn’t matter even if what he says were true.  You know that.  Don’t you, Link?”

…It wouldn’t?

“I’d love you anyway.  Though I would be saddened were you not to feel as I do.  Nor would it lessen your extraordinary speed, strength, and skill, nor the compassion you have for others.  The true issue, I think, is that some still appear to feel free to treat you so.  Or indeed, anyone who does not fit the standard mold.”

Kertiss went real quiet.  He’s not even doing the gross heavy-breathing he was a few seconds ago.

“I shall not address your antagonizer again.  I shall instead say that he must leave willingly, now, and not return to castle grounds.  Elsewise, I shall order Sirs Turro, Virn, and Greggan to remove him immediately and await my father’s judgement.”

“Our king wouldn’t-“

“Now.  Willingly.  Or else.”

.

Like a hundred-pound draw.  Virn… Virn’s hand is on his hilt.  Greggan’s are opened at his sides… ready to grip.  Can’t see Turro but feel him ready to push me aside.

…And he’s off.  Turned on his heel as fast as possible toward the first gatehouse.

Father… you caused this.  You really did.

Not that Kertiss wasn’t already an asshole.  But you dumped a s@#$-ass-ton of fuel on that fire.  Why would he trust someone like that with information about his own son… especially something he thought was sensitive?

He’s just not good with people, is he?  Not at all.  He’s not like the king or the Princess.  He can’t predict them.  Can't read them. He doesn’t know what to do.  It’s why his advice is so bad.

“F@#$.”

Greggan?

“I need a moment after that s@#$storm.  I don’t even remember who won the other Goddess-damned bracket.  We’ll be late starting the archery one.  Eh…”

He’s feverishly scratching the back of his head.

“You’re going to make one hell of a Queen, Princess.”

“Thank you, Sir Greggan.”

“Link, seriously man, are you alright?”

“Yeah, Turro.  Fine.”  Can’t seem to stop darting between each of Zelda’s eyes, actually.

Did she know people thought that about me?  It took me a while to start suspecting.  Then I found out about the bets.  Then Turro said father’d said things.  I just… thought she’d be more surprised than she is.

Maybe it’s because I mentioned the looks I was getting.  From guys.  In the barracks.

“…Holy Goddess, Link, I wouldn’t be.  You have some damn thick skin.  I’d’ve punched him.”

“Pffh- thick skin?  Are you kidding?”

“Not even a little.  I’d’ve lost my cool.”

“I…”

Virn?

“I didn’t realize that was his problem with you, sir.  I thought… I thought-“

“You truly thought Link was eyeing me.”

“… He WAS.”

“Pff- oh-“

“S#$%, Virn-“

“Eh… sorry, Sir, but it’s obvious at this point-“

“So, why aren’t you still furious with me?”

“The king- I- we’d told him, sir.  About the looks.  He said he’d handle it, and I thought he meant to dismiss you from service.”

Oh.  That actually makes some sense.

“He corrected me later.  I- I do regret my words.  I just thought it wasn’t allowed.  Sir.”

“…You know what, Virn?  There are worse things. You’re fine.”

“…Could someone please explain what in the world that commotion was about?”

Oh.  Oh, Link.  Don’t laugh.  Don’t.  You’re distracted enough.

I really am distracted.  Turro’s looking outward.  So is Virn.  Zelda stayed between everyone, but my back was partially turned out.  Not what we agreed.  Return to position, Link.  Keep her hand, though.

“It’s a Hylian… taboo, Seggin.  Sort of.  About who people are attracted to.”

A gentle thumb-swipe.  I’ll return it.

“Hehhhh.  You Hylians.  You make so many rules for yourselves to follow.”

Greggan.

“Alright.  I have Mirraban and Clarny going at it already.  You’ll face the winner.  The unpleasantness here more than justified Mirraban getting the short end of the stick.”

Agreed.

A little squeeze.

“My arm is quite tired.”

Oh no.  “…I’m sorry, Princess.”

“You’ve nothing to be sorry for.”

“I do—my big fat mouth.”

“I do not regret my efforts.  I’m quite pleased to have defeated him.  I… believe I shan’t be fighting this last one quite so hard.  I’d prefer to save my strength to be able to draw my bowstring.”

Turro’s feet just shifted.  He knows he’s the only competition.

“Princess?”

“Yes, Mipha!”

“I could use my gift.  It would restore you.”

“Oh no, Mipha.  That would be a waste.  And no one else has access to such benefit—I’d feel it were cheating.”

“Alright.  I’m here, should you need me.”

Glad she said something.  She’s been… awfully quiet.

“ALRIGHT EVERYONE!  THIS IS IT!  CLARNY OF MABE VILLAGE, PLEASE APPROACH THE PRINCESS’ TABLE!”

Back to her seat.

He is a VERY large man.  Crazy tall, muscular and also very very fleshy.  His weight alone would make him formidable on a field.  Reminds me of…

Oh.  He really DOES remind me of Crinno.  A lot.  Are they related?  This guy looks younger.

“H-hello, Your Highness.”

That is a DEEP voice.  Soft, though.

“Hello, Clarny.  I’m pleased to meet you.”

“I- I’m sorry about that man.  He was awful.”

“It’s not your fault one bit.”

“I should’ve picked him up for you.  He was little.”

Pfff.  Yeah, compared to this guy he was.

“No need.  But thank you for the sentiment.  Please, take a seat.”

He’s hesitant.  Seems like he might actually be a nice person.  If she’s going to lose, at least it won’t be to a dickwad.  He’s making that chair creak like something else!  He’d really need two to sit comfortably across them.

She’s offering her hand.

Woooow.  His engulfs hers.

“Ohh.  Ohh, you’re so tiny.”

“There are those far smaller than I.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Princess.  You can’t even hold my palm.”

Here comes Fournier.

“You’re going to need this, aren’t you?”

And he’s strapping them.

Clarny already looks like he feels really bad.  He has this giant, wrinkly pout on.  At least, I think it’s a pout.  I don’t think it’s just his face.

“Okay… all set.  ALL SET!”

“FINAL SET!  PRINCESS ZELDA VS. CLARNY OF MABE VILLAGE!  READY… SET… GO!”

“Oh.”

…No motion.

Really?

…They’re not shaking, either.  Not straining.  Either of them.

“You’re holding back, aren’t you, Clarny?”

“I feel bad.”

“Please don’t. You are one of my people.  I welcome and celebrate your accomplishments.”

“R-really?”

“Yes.  Please do no less than your best.”

“Oooh.  I- I won’t hurt you, Princess, but I’ll push harder.”

And he is.  Harder.  And harder.  And harder.  And she’s resisting him but not to the point of straining with taut tendons.  And… he’s winning the most careful arm-wrestle ever.  I think if she even were to twitch, he’d stop.

…That’s it.  She touched the table.

“CLARNY WINS IT!”

ROAR!!  They’re going nuts!!!  I’m not sure exactly what they were rooting or hoping for, but they’re having a good time.

Aw.  Clarny isn’t smiling.

Zelda is.

She’s unwrapping them.  Standing.  Offering him her hand.

“Uh-“

“Please.”

“O-okay…”

Aaand she’s walking him out of the circle- back up Link- “Follow, Turro, Virn-“

Nods, they’ve got it, they’re following, the others are too.  Enough that they can see them both for a moment, but not so much that she’s totally exposed.

Those kids!  Uh oh, is that a good thing or not?

Maybe not.  But it’s not like I can stop them, what would I do?  Yell at them like a total jerk?  Body-block them?

“You did so awesome, Princess!”

“Wow!  You only got beat by the BIGGEST PERSON WHO EVER LIVED!”

“So, Mister Clarny, huh?  You know what a big responsbilility it is that you’re even stronger than Princess Zelda?”

“Responsbilility?”

“Yeah!”

“Uh-“

“Hmm, children.  Perhaps we ought to allow Clarny to enjoy his victory and worry about any responsibilities later.”

Speaking of…

“But he might be able to carry even MORE than thirteen kids!”

They’re up there.  On the rampart.  Still safe.

“Thirteen kids?”

Good.

“Yeah, Sir Link could carry thirteen of us at once!”

I think Chee may have just waved at me.            

“Aw, haw haw.  I think I can fit twenty of you on here.  But I don’t know if you could hold on.”

I wonder if they heard any of Kertiss’ crap.  Probably not.  Could see it, though. 

And still… after all this… nothing from the sword at all.

Aaaand children are climbing on Clarny.  Heh.  Good luck, man.

_____

Read Next: REMAIN STILL, REMAIN CALM. (Warning for violence).

Read this fanfic from the beginning (it makes more sense that way).

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#linksthoughtbrambles #botw #zelda #fanfic #zelink #breath of the wild #loz #legend of zelda

[illfoandillfie]

Kinktober Day 1: Rimming

Kinktober Masterlist | Regular Masterlist

Pairing: Ben Hardy x Fem!Reader

Words: 3,560

Warnings: Rimming, anal sex, some vaginal fingering, himbo Ben (mild unintentional hypnosis I guess)

A/N: Welcome to Kinktober! This is actually an idea i’ve been thinking about for quite a while. We’ve done himbo Rog and himbo Gwil so it only seemed fair to do himbo Ben and since he’s obviously an ass man......only made sense that he’d be into anal lmao. It seemed like the perfect fit for the first of these prompts. But this is the first time I’ve written (or even really thought about) rimming so I hope it’s okay!

“Geeze Ben, could you maybe close your porn next time. Didn’t really expect to see that autoplay when I woke the computer up this morning,”  Ben snorted into his plate of eggs, “Which one was it?”  “Something called Anal Punisher 3.”  “Don’t know what you’re complaining about, that’s a good one.” His eyes twinkled teasingly and he poked his tongue out as you sat in front of your own plate.  “I’m sure it is.” You chuckled, able to see the funny side now that you weren’t staring directly at close up of a porn stars arsehole, “Just not when I’m trying to check my emails on our shared desktop.”   “As if you’ve never had a cheeky wank at that computer.”  “That’s what I have a laptop for,” You laughed again, shaking your head.  “Alright, fair play. I only left it up cause you got home early last night and I had to, um, clean up.”  You rolled your eyes at the flimsy excuse.  “And if you don’t want me watching Anal Punisher 3 then maybe you should let me punish your anal....arse....fuck, you know what I mean.”  It was your turn to snort into your breakfast, Ben’s clumsy attempt at seduction nearly making you inhale the scrambled eggs. When you finally got yourself under control you said, “I don’t care if you watch it, just shut it down when you’re finished.”   “Sorry love,”  “But  y’know, if you did want to anal arse fuck me tonight I wouldn’t say no.”  Ben’s eyes lit up in excitement. He’d either not heard the joke you’d made at his expense or decided it wasn’t worth bringing up if the possibility of anal was on the table, “Serious?”  “Serious. I’ll even put my plug in when I get dressed so we don’t have to spend as much time on foreplay.”  “If I hadn’t already married you, I’d propose on the spot.” 

But by the time Ben got home he seemed more interested in just cuddling on the couch. You’d done as you said you would and worn your plug all day, constantly thinking about what would happen later that night. Right up until Ben stepped inside yawning, when you snuck off to the bathroom to remove it, realising your plans were unlikely to go ahead. You’d half expected him to fall asleep on the couch after dinner but evidently, some part of him still wanted you. He tapped his thigh and beckoned you towards him, pulling you down so he could hold you close and kiss your shoulder. Soon enough that cuddling had turned to making out, you straddling his lap as you kissed him deeply, his large hands pulling you into him, stroking whatever bare skin he could find. Without thinking you dragged your fingers through his hair. He hummed in response so you did it again, your fingers creating small, firm circles against his scalp, drawing random patterns there as you focused on keeping your lips on his and your tongues entwined. Ben made soft pleased sounds as your fingers kept up their movement, almost moaning at the sensation. You could feel him getting harder under you as you carefully rocked your hips.   “Benny?”  “Huh?”  His hands had begun to roam more, moving down to your arse, grabbing and squeezing as he pulled you against him.  “Kinda got me excited here honey. Might wanna stop if you’re too tired to carry through,”  “What?”   He seemed nearly dazed, not properly comprehending what you were saying.   You shifted your hand to his chest, drawing small circles with your finger, “I mean I’ve been thinking about you fucking me all day anyway.”  “Think?”  “Exactly, thinking about our conversation this morning. Remember? Anal Punisher 3?”  “Anal?” It was still a question but there was a tone of excitement behind the dopey confusion.  “You said you wanted to.... I kinda really want you to.”  “Mmmm,”  “I mean I get it if you’re too tired,” you said softly, stroking your palms over his biceps, “but I’m up for it now if you are. So, do you still want to?”  “Mmhmm,” but as keen as he sounded, Ben didn’t seem inclined to move to the bedroom or even to begin to undress you. He was too caught up in feeling you up and trying to kiss you again.   “Don’t you want me Benny?”  He was slow to react, eyes still shut as he nodded, speech flowing like treacle “Want - you.”  “You can have me.” You had to lean back to stop him from kissing you again. As much as you liked making out, you were getting eager for more and wanted to know where he was at.  He nodded again, not seeming to hear you, and then, when he couldn’t immediately locate your lips again, opened his eyes.   It reminded you of the time a few friends had dragged you and Ben to a hypnotists show. None of your group had been pulled on stage to experience the hypnotic powers the man claimed to have, but those who had been had all worn similar expressions to Ben. Eyes heavy lidded and almost glazed over and when they’d gone back to their seats you’d noticed that they seemed a bit dazed and confused. You’d not seen Ben look like that before. Well, maybe a bit dazed after you gave him a proper good blow job, but nothing to this extent. Not even when you edged him repeatedly. He tended to get whiny and loud rather than glassy eyed and dopey. Usually more talkative too, begging or moaning your name. This was something new.  

Curiously, you stoked his hair back off his face and asked him how he felt, tugging lightly on the ends that reached the back of his neck.  “Good,” he sighed softly, “Kiss?”  You couldn’t deny him that when he’d asked so cutely, so you leaned in to kiss him again, letting him draw you in deeply for a moment. When the chance arose you let your lips slip from his, kissing along his jaw until you reached his ear, “What else do you want?”  Ben hummed softly and then said, “Arse.”  It was unusual for Ben to be so monosyllabic. Even when he was super horny and desperate for you, he could generally get most of a coherent sentence out. Nothing that would win any literary awards of course, but enough so you knew what he meant.  “What do you mean Benny?”  “Ummm....arse.....cock.”  It sounded like it had been a struggle for him to even think of the two words he wanted but you couldn’t help but giggle, “Does that mean you want to fuck me?”  “Yeah,”  “Okay baby. But you have to do everything I say, understand?”  Ben nodded.  “Can you do what I say Benny? Be a good boy and follow my instructions?”  He nodded again, “Yes. Please.”  You kissed him once more, trying not to laugh too much, and then scooted off his lap.  Ben whined as soon as the physical contact was broken.  “If you want my arse we gotta move to the bedroom,”  He frowned as if he didn’t quite understand but let you take his hand all the same and followed you to the bedroom. 

Ben’s hands began to wander again when you stopped to open your bedroom door, grasping your hips and then dropping lower to rest against your behind.   It was hard to ignore the tingle the light contact sent through you but you bit down on your rising need as you turned and grasped Ben’s hands, “Gotta wait for that Benny. Just a little longer.” You stepped back towards the bed and Ben smiled dopily as you pulled him along. “I mean I’m ready but not all the way. But if you help get me lubed up you can fuck my arse for as long as you want.”  It was like a light turned on inside Ben’s mind. His eyes still had that unfocused look but they were wider and he was nodding enthusiastically.  “You gonna undress me or should I start for you?” You laughed and when he didn’t immediately move you began pulling your shirt off over your head, too eager to wait. You reached behind you to unclasp your bra, “C’mon Benny. Help me out.”  Ben blinked twice before he seemed to understand but was soon offering his help, pulling the bra from your arms, gently cupping your breasts as he revealed them, thumbs falling into a familiar rhythm rubbing back and forth over your nipples. Still moving slowly, Ben leaned in and kissed your throat, humming in response as you pressed your chest into his hands and sighed contentedly. But he clearly had something else on his mind because soon enough his hands fell, fingers picking at the waistband of your leggings. Indulging him you quickly shed your pants, turning so he could see the thing he really wanted as you stripped off the final layer of clothing. Ben watched intently as you wiggled your hips teasingly and eked the waistband of your knickers down a few inches. And then something changed. 

You felt it in the air, a shift in energy, but even that wasn’t enough to prepare you as Ben growled and lunged forward, his hands tight on your waist as he lifted you onto the bed, barely giving you time to settle on your hands and knees before he dived in behind you.   All you could manage was to gasp his name as he rushed to tear your underpants down your thighs. But your surprise at his sudden movement doubled as he spread your cheeks and buried his face between them. He’d licked you like that once or twice but only when he’d been eating your pussy and teasingly snuck his tongue elsewhere as you tried to recover from your orgasm. This was entirely different.  

It felt similar to the vaguely tickly sensation he made you feel when he was helping you relax before a round of anal, when he would tease you with light strokes from his fingers until you were shivering and wanting more. But there was more heat to it. His breath hot and his tongue wet as he traced your hole. You felt like you’d been completely lit up from within, like he’d suddenly discovered a hundred more nerve endings than he usually hit. And adding to all the physical sensations of Ben’s fingers holding you open and his mouth exploring your darkest nooks, was the feeling of doing something properly filthy. You’d felt the same when you and Ben first tried anal, completely depraved at enjoying something so taboo. That feeling had lessened as you did it more, your enjoyment then stemming from Ben’s improved skills more than the act itself. But with your head against the sheets and your arse in the air you remembered why you’d liked feeling so downright dirty. It only heightened your desire and made every caress of Ben’s tongue sweeter.  

Of course, best of all was just how into Ben was. You wondered how he could possibly be breathing when every second seemed to be taken up with moans and groans as he feasted on you. The noises started softly as he tantalized you with hard licks against your arsehole and the surrounding area. But as his tongue explored deeper, as he pressed into you, making your arse feel slick and hot with his drool and making your pussy throb, he got louder. He seemed to enjoy you more and more, as if he’d never eaten anything as satisfying in his life. That was enough to have you shaking. You were already wet from grinding against him on the couch but the ways he was touching you and how thoroughly he was enjoying it had you positively soaked.   “Finger me Benny,” you gasped, trying to maintain some of the control you’d intended to have.  Ben did as you asked, never able to deny you what you craved, but it wasn’t up to his usual standard. His fingers weren’t as deft as normal, moving awkwardly and out of time. It was as if his fingers were trying to work off of muscle memory alone, his mind too consumed with something else to take any notice of your cunt.   With a needy whine you clumsily disentangled one fist from the sheets and batted Ben’s hand out of the way, replacing it with your own.  Ben didn’t make any indication that he’d noticed you start touching yourself, except to tighten his grip on your arse, holding you firmly as you began to writhe against your fingers. He happily went back to gripping a cheek in each hand, pulling them wide to give himself better access to your arsehole.   It seemed that wearing your plug had been a good idea because Ben found it easy to press his tongue into you, licking around and making your muscles tighten before withdrawing and sinking in again.   And that stimulation plus your own fingers in your cunt made you moan wantonly into the bedding.  Ben answered with his own long, loud moan of desire, sending a shiver along your spine. It was enough to tip you over the edge, your fingers massaging a spot within you as Ben rapidly tongued your hole. 

You rode out your high before letting your fingers slip back to tangle in the sheets once more, but Ben showed no signs of stopping. He might very well have kept up the intoxicating performance all night if you hadn’t whined his name. Even that wasn’t enough to make him stop entirely, just slow down and hum.  “Ben? Benny?” you gasped, as he readjusted his grip on you, “You gonna fuck me or what?”  Ben groaned as if he didn’t want to stop tasting you but wanted to move on to other things as well. And you were on the verge of instructing him to get the lube when you felt his fingers. He reached under you, two digits carefully tracing along your cunt, sliding through the creamy evidence of your earlier orgasm. He didn’t break contact, his fingers just as softly sliding along your crack and up to your arsehole. And then they were pushing against the ring of muscle.  Usually he’d take his time applying lube but he seemed too lost in the moment to remember it. You didn’t mind too much though. Lube might have made it a touch more comfortable but wearing the plug had helped loosen you up and Ben had thoroughly coated everything with his saliva and your own cum. His fingers breached you moderately easily, making you shiver and whine at the feeling of being filled again.   “God it’s a good thing we do this a lot,” you half sighed, half laughed into the sheets, as Ben’s fingers sank another inch into you.  Ben’s only response was to lean forward and lick around where his fingers were penetrating you, humming happily as he did so. 

Ben seemed inclined to spend just as long fingering you as he did licking you, but the way his fingers moved inside you quickly had you worked up and eager for more.   “God Ben. You’re hard right?”  Ben only pumped his fingers into you faster but you took it as a yes.  "So fuck me already. Please Benny,” It came out whinier than you’d expected so you cleared your throat and tried a proper demand, “I need your cock in my arse now Ben.”  You weren’t sure it would be enough to get Ben’s attention. He seemed too engrossed in fingering you to even hear what you were saying. But thankfully, something broke through his blinders.  Suddenly, his fingers disappeared. It was followed by the sound of his pants coming down and then you felt the head of his cock against your back entrance.  “Wait,” You gasped, “Wait. Lube.”  Ben repeated the word lube in a grunt, shifting hips slightly so he could run his shaft along your soaked cunt. You felt him between your lips, as if he were teasing you, sliding back and forth, coating his length in your juices.   A moment later, he returned to your other hole, his hands on your hips to pull your arse back onto him.  Ben let out a satisfied groan as he sank into you but you were panting roughly, almost seeing stars with how good it felt to finally be filled the way you wanted to be. Once or twice your breath hitched, the discomfort of his size pushing into you exacerbated by the lack of proper lube. But it wasn’t enough to truly bother, certainly not enough to stop. The fact that just seeing your arse had made Ben snap into an animalistic, almost feral demeanour had made you impossibly horny. And you were desperate for him to fuck you properly now he was fully sheathed in your arsehole’s tight embrace.   Ben moaned at the feeling, vocalising your own desire. And then he said something.   “What was that Benny?” you asked, unable to comprehend him.  “Fuck....arse......hngggg.....arse.....” he said though you were sure you were missing something. But as nonsensical as it was it was still hot. Knowing Ben was so desperate for this, for you, knowing you could make him babble incomprehensibly. It was insanely hot.   And then he began to fuck you.   You whined and brought your hand to your pussy again, finding your clit, though Ben’s frantic thrusts made it hard to keep the contact consistent.  

You screamed when you came, voice tearing out of your throat as Ben roughly pounded into you, his hips almost bruising hard against your arse.   It was nearly impossible for you to breathe under so much pleasure and you panted for air as the orgasm subsided.  But Ben was still going, still thrusting into you furiously, grunting with the effort as he neared his own release.   You gasped his name and told him to cum, trying to not get swept away by the feeling of his cock moving inside you, wanted him to keep going almost as much as you wanted to feel his semen warm you from the inside out, and drip out of you.   Your request was enough to make him shudder to a halt, his hands squeezing your hips tightly as he released himself with a groan.  He thrust a few more times and your limbs gave out. You felt them wobble and then collapse under you, Ben’s body pressing you into the mattress as he sank down too, still trying to fuck you.  

It took you saying his name twice before he stopped though he made a reluctant sort of a sound when he realised he had to pull out.  “Well if you didn’t fuck me so well you probably could have gone on a bit longer,” you laughed as he, somewhat grudgingly, pushed himself to his feet.  With a satisfied groan you rolled over and stretched your arm out to grab Ben’s hand so you could pull him onto the bed too.   He lay on his front, sighing as his head fell into the crook of your neck, his body resting almost entirely over yours.   You were half being crushed by his weight but you enjoyed it. It was comforting and warm and you softly drew your hands over his back as you caught your breath properly.  Ben was quiet as he lay there until, some ten minutes later, he suddenly pushed himself to his knees, blinking at you. His eyes still had a vaguely unfocused appearance but the more he blinked the more normal he seemed.   “Are you okay?” He asked slowly.  You laughed and nodded, “More than okay. Lie back down, I’m too tired to sit up.”  He compiled with your request, lowering himself again but this time on his back, “I have no idea what just came over me, babe.”  With a sigh you shifted to your side, propping your head up on one hand, “What do you mean?”  “All I know is I saw your arse and just needed it, more than anything else, more than air, I just wanted you.”  “Gotta admit, it was a little unexpected,” you lay your palm on Ben’s chest, his skin still flushed and warm to the touch, “But ummmm, definitely didn’t hate it.”  His hand landed gently on top of yours, holding you against his heart, “Did I use any lube at all?”  “Only spit and my cum.”  “Fucking hell. Are you sure you’re okay?”  “It’s fine Benny. If I’d needed anything else I would have made you stop. If I’m honest....kind of made it hotter.”  “Babe!”  “Not in a weird way! I’m not going to let you get away without lube all the time.” You laughed, “Just knowing you wanted me so badly was nice.”  “I always want you badly.”  You patted Ben’s chest softly, your heart fluttering, “Does that mean you’d want to eat my arse again another time?”  “You liked it?”  “Well you were very thorough.”  Ben groaned, throwing an arm over his eyes which just made you laugh again.  “I did enjoy it,” you said softly, deciding to put him out of his misery, “Wasn’t necessarily expecting it but it felt really good.”  “Well that’s something. I still don’t understand what just happened though.”  “What’s that saying...Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth?” 

Taglist: @labessieisallama @deakyclicks @jennyggggrrr @drowseoftaylor @hannafuckingsucks @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @queenmylovely @ilovequeenmorethanyou @johndeaconshands @borhapbois @stardust-galaxies @cherries-n-rocknroll @rogersslave @scorpiogemini 

#my writing #my fics #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy smut #kinktober 2021

[blonde-toddy]

Random and Not So Random thoughts while watching Bridgerton: Season 1, Episode 2

Childbirth scenes are always fun right?

I'm guessing this is the Dukes mother.

Oh he's one of those 'give me a son' types.

Yep they the Dukes parents.

Lady Danbury laying down the law wherever she goes....y'all gonna let her see her friend!

His mother died in childbirth.....fucking hell.

At least he got a son, I guess.

Simon ......... Bassett

Sad, pensive Simon....still hot.

The queen needs all the tea!

Who's that your Grace? Tis not Daphne. You better go promenade mf!

Violet and Danbury still plotting.....

"Only five minutes alone with you in a drawing room...." Jesus! Honey she felt that....and he knew he flexed a lil too hard on that one. But fuck me, it was hot!

Yes Eloise, you're a Jo March. We fucking get it. Womaning is hard and societal expectations are bullshit. They really laid it on thick with her and I hope she becomes a bit more multidimensional.

Hold up. These poor girls don't even know where babies come from. Oh the chastity of it all.

Not that Penelope out here telling Marinas business low key.

Damn....her non-hoe brothers are lightweight roasting her. Ya sis is a baddie! Get with it.

They really don't tell these women shit about sex. Lil brother out here trying to spill the tea though. VIOLET! TALK! TO! YOUR! DAUGHTERS!

Awe shit. Daphne got fans again.......oh and here comes creepy fucking Berbrooke.

Damn Anthony you really calling her disrespectful while you out here trying to sell her like cattle to Berbrooke. Fuck. Off.

Oh it's definitely immaturity. I can't keep on with Anthony's ass. Something has got to shake.

Oh, Violet....you want it to be the Duke.

Shirtless Duke! Yes, please.

"A great deal goes on in a mind as quick as mine." Gawd help me. Kick his ass Simon! Protect your situationship partner!

Poor baby Simon can't speak so well......oh and his daddy is EVIL evil.

Penelope trying to be friendly with the expectant. She needs answers. But DAMN! Even Marina won't explain sex. Somebody help these women. Love does not impregnate. I fucking can't.

The queen of shade appears bored by a lack of new tea.

Get your eggs Daphne!

Violet gets to have tea with the queen....so that means Daphne wears diamonds to tonight's ball. Okay.

Ok Queen Danbury. Get the Duke in line.

Aww Lady Danbury and little Simon! She's here to give that boy the love he deserves. Look at this Queen Fairy GODMOTHER! I just adore her. She really is the queen to me.

Danbury blocking Anthony's attempts at cockblocking is big energy. I want Ratafia now. Let me go Google what in the hell that is and where to find it.

I feel like that lil spin Simon did was a bit of improv, but I liked it.....and you can't tell me they weren't having a real life ball dancing together in that scene. That was legit laughter between friends. I'm here for it. They brought the energy in that dance.

Here goes Anthony's ass trying to fuck it up again. This time he wants middle brothers help. Middle brother just wants to chill, not dance with his sister, bro. I like middle brother. Yes I know his name is Benedict.

Simon shading Berbrooke is gold. Calling him the fuck out was even better.

Oh Anthony....took you long enough.

Daphne is not here to have her honor protected by ANY MAN. I love this bitch. Simon was just trying to help though.

Danbury planting her lil seeds. This is her world. We just wish we lived in it.

Simons going to take the air....ah walk home. Because nothing bad ever happens on a dark walk home.

This mf Berbrooke just will not stop. He gets more disgusting with each interaction, I swear. But what you're not gonna do, is keep disrespecting Daphne. The Duke out here growling at this mf.

Ooooh I love a good head butt!

I stan a fake couple who beat up the same perv.

Oh now this EVIL mf.

You trying to prove yourself. Poor baby.

Old dogs. New tricks. We all know the saying. That mf man is awful. I see some daddy issues coming to the story. That's probably why he stopped himself from completely pulverizing Berbrooke. He doesn't want to be cruel like his father.

Sad reflective Simon.....hiding his pain literally and figuratively.

Damn, Whistledown, Daphne does not want Berbrooke. Everybody knows that. Stop trying to make it a thing.

"It does not matter what the Duke thinks, Rose." Sure, Jan.

I'm sick of this basket weave haired bitch.

Oh Portia.

Penelope and Eloise still knowing nothing about sex is depressing.

Fuck off Anthony. Daphne is done with your fuckery...and she's calling you tf out. I'll say it again, Daphne is my bitch.

Heyyyyy Simon!

Oooof Daphne sees that bruised up hand. You really gonna lie and say boxing. Boy bye.

Oooooh the cuff-buttoning and banter with instense eye contact. KEEP FEEDING ME!

Oh here comes this mf Berbrooke. Duke, you're busted. Simon ready to throw hands again. This hoe ass mf is really trying to force a wedding.

Daphne really just gonna give up. Aw naw.

Violet, God bless you, but your vague ass speech does not help.

Ooooh smoking Eloise. I love a good vice.....oh and sibling bonding. This is nice.

I think Simon likes getting knocked around. There's something very masochistic about the way he seems to enjoy it. He's sad about Daphne having to marry Berbrooke and can't express that in the way he should or would like to....More on this later, I'm sure.

Violet and the queen.....and the queen likes nose play. Okay then.

Ohhhh the queen is basically telling Violet that Daphne better get things rolling with the Duke for the notoriety and popularity it would provide her family.

So why tf are you inviting Berbrookes raggedy ass mama over for tea? This bitch. You can definitely see why her son is so fucked up.

Kippers on Rye. No ma'am.

Ahhhh Violet was fishing for a scandal to stop the Berbrooke marriage. Makes sense.

Well, mission accomplished. No thanks to Anthony.

Violet stays at his neck though.

I really don't like Marina being all confined.

Sisterly bonding maybe? Daphne dropping knowledge and optimism on Eloise.

Well shit, deflate that balloon.

*In My Blood (Instrumental) plays*

Aaaand she's back on the arm of the Duke.

Their chemistry is mind blowing. Like they could melt my screen just looking at each other.

"Call me by my name" because 'Call me by your Name' could never.

Gawd the way he says her name. That's it. I want Daphne to be my name now.

The intimacy of that bruised hand on her bare shoulder - ICONIC.

Lady Danbury knows all and jealous Simon has entered the room.

Not his evil ass daddy again.

Oh fuck Simon. Why would you make a promise like that?! Thats OBVIOUSLY coming back around on you. Who tf are you really hurting in avowing never to marry or have children?!

But the "Speak, you fucking monster," was everything. Full circle.

#bridgerton #bridgerton reaction #bridgerton season 1 #simon bassett #daphne bridgerton #anthony bridgerton #lady danbury #benedict bridgerton #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #eloise bridgerton #simon x daphne #daphne x simon

[spikeymarshmallows]

3, kleigo! for the kiss post! love your writing

I AM SO SO SO SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER.

And thank you to @unrememberedskies for existing.

kissing so desperately that their whole body curves into the other person’s

For this thingo

"What are we thinking this morning? Waffles? Eggs? No, I don't feel like eggs." Klaus surveyed the contents of the fridge with a frown. There was so much green stuff.

This is what he got for going away again.

This happened every time. His work would take him away for a few weeks, he'd explore the world, eat amazing cuisines, set up new projects here, finish them there—and then he'd return and find Diego had, once again, filled their kitchen with innumerable amounts of fresh food.

What was wrong with toaster waffles?!

He stood back and rested a hand on his hip as, humming his displeasure as he took it all in.

"Fiiiine," he groused, grabbing a few things and placing them on the counter behind him. He knew how to make some of the smoothies that Diego liked. He'd just been hoping to make something a little more… well, something a little more.

He'd woken around 2, and even though he couldn't sleep, he lay there, enjoying the feeling of Diego's leg thrown over his, the warmth that emanated from him. He'd grabbed his eReader sometime after 3, and had read by its dim backlight for a few hours before finally going to shower and generally try to fill his time until Diego woke.

It probably wasn't good for the jet lag, but none of the tips for getting over jet lag had ever helped him anyway.

Diego was still asleep, which was perfectly normal, given the early hour. Klaus' body clock was still on Dublin time, and the only reason he'd managed the few hours sleep he did was because Diego had fucked him senseless. Diego was good like that—selfless, really. He always made sure to fuck Klaus until he was so exhausted he couldn't help but sleep after, and it was probably the most effective thing he could do for his jet lag now that he thought about it.

He grinned to himself.

Klaus didn't even have it in him to pretend to be grumpy about the food available to him; he was just so happy to be home. He loved his job. He really, truly did. But there was something special about being home again.

He hummed to himself. Sitting on the counter across from him, Ben rolled his eyes. Ben hated the song. Klaus grinned and hummed it with a little more enthusiasm.

"Not exactly what I had in mind when I figured I'd bring Di breakfast in bed, but, I suppose it'll have to do." He started carefully slicing up various fruits. He left all the vegetables in the fridge; Klaus may have been feeling benevolent, but even he had standards. And breakfast smoothies did not deserve to be tainted with vegetables.

He danced along with the song in his head, singing under his breath, as he slowly filled the blender.

Fruit, almond milk… What else was there? Diego liked those chia seeds too. Okay, chia seeds. What else?

Oh shit, the ice. He forgot the ice.

He started the blender, wincing at the grating sound it made as it tore through everything. He'd been hoping that he wouldn't wake Diego up, but that was probably shot to shit now.

Well, that's what he got for not having the makings of pancakes available. Pancakes were a lot quieter.

"Oh! Protein powder!" Klaus cried, remembering at the last second. He scrambled through the cupboards, contemplating the different flavours before figuring the pink one was probably berry, and would go well in the smoothie. He measured out the protein powder, and flicked off the blender so he could pour it in. After examining the vibrantly coloured drink for a moment, he decided to add some extra milk.

Across the living room, the bedroom door opened, and a sleepy Diego appeared.

"Hey baby!" Klaus said cheerfully, turning the blender back on.

He realised a second too late that he'd forgotten to put the lid back on. Diego and Ben realised, of course, but Klaus got the message after it had covered him spectacularly. Klaus fumbled to turn the stupid blender off, and in doing so, turned it up higher before managing to get it off.

Diego and he stood, blinking at each other from across the space. The room was utterly silent, but for the very faint sound of traffic outside.

Neither of them said a word for what felt like a lifetime.

Some milk dripped down from curls that fell across Klaus' face—he really needed to trim those. There was smoothie everywhere. It was cold and wet through the satin kimono he'd thrown on, and there was some on his bare chest too. At least it wasn't on his underwear, he supposed? Wait, no. No. It was on his briefs too.

Ugh. This was going to be a pain in the ass to clean up.

Diego blinked a few more times, nodded once to himself, and then disappeared back into the bedroom.

"Fair enough!" Klaus called to the closed door.

He stared hopelessly at the mess around him. Did he start by cleaning himself up, or cleaning the space up?

The door to the bedroom opened again. Diego's face was a little wild, and he crossed the living space in a few large strides.

Klaus watched him, thrown. Diego didn't seem upset, at least, but…

Diego reached out and wiped some of the smoothie off Klaus' cheek, not speaking. He brushed some of Klaus' curls away from his face. His expression was unreadable. Klaus laughed awkwardly but leaned into the touch; what else was there to do?

The hand that had been on his cheek slid down his neck, across his shoulder, down his arm until Diego gently took his hand.

And then—

"Wait, what are you doing?" Klaus asked, inhaling sharply.

Diego looked up at him from one knee, a shaky smile on his face. There was a faint pillow crease against his cheek from where he'd been sleeping minutes earlier. His hair stuck at a thousand angles, and his t-shirt and boxers were wrinkled. And… Shit.

"Diego, no, I'm covered in smoothie and—" Klaus stopped, hand pressed over his mouth. Was this really happening?

Diego raised a sardonic eyebrow before his expression melted back into something that could only be described as blind adoration. "This w-was," he stopped, cleared his throat, and exhaled before he started again. "This was absolutely not how I planned to do this. I cannot believe I'm proposing like this either. I didn't really have a plan yet, but it was going to be romantic as shit because I know you love that, and god fucking knows I love you more than anything on this planet."

"Oh my god, I can't believe you're doing this while I'm covered in smoothie," Klaus tittered. He was shaking all over, and his breath was coming in a little shorter, a little sharper.

"I was gonna write a speech too, because you know I'm not good with words. So, I'm sorry I don't have a big, fancy speech all planned out. But." Diego shook his head a little, looking back down. He opened a little black box with his spare hand, but Klaus couldn't look away from Diego's face to take it in. "But… You're my everything. Always have been, always will be. And I want to spend a forever telling you what a fucking disaster you are, and much I love every single thing about you."

Klaus hadn't even realised his eyes were stinging, or that they were filling until a few fat tears rolled down his face.

"I hate you so much right now," Klaus laughed wetly. His chest felt like it was bursting open. His fingers in Diego's were shaking, but it wasn't like Diego was much better.

The nervousness in Diego's face was fading, and he was still looking at Klaus like he hung the fucking moon. And there was still milk dripping from Klaus' curls, and another tear fell down his face.

"I know," Diego said and grinned widely. "But in spite of that—will you marry me?"

Klaus nodded emphatically, swallowing past the lump in his throat. He didn't trust himself to speak this time, so for once he didn't try to.

Diego let Klaus' hand drop, and he drew the ring from it's box, and slipped it onto Klaus' finger. The metal was cool, and heavy, and when Klaus glanced down at it, tiny inlaid diamonds caught the light and sparkled. It was simple, and despite the diamonds, quite understated, and, fuck, it was absolutely perfect. Diego had chosen perfectly.

And then Diego was standing as Klaus grasped at his t-shirt, trying to bring them both as close as possible. Klaus kissed him hard, and deep, wrapping his arms around Diego's neck and trying to say without words everything he was feeling. Diego's arms snaked around his back and pulled Klaus in so tight that his body curved to fit Diego's shape.

He was barely aware of it, but they were both mumbling how much they loved each other against the others mouth, unable or unwilling to draw away long enough to actually verbalise it.

It was desperate, and wet, and hot, and Klaus had never been so disgustingly in love. Diego pushed the kimono off his shoulders, and Klaus was able to yank Diego's shirt off too. Diego crowded him against the counter, lifting him easily so that he was seated against it. Klaus wrapped his legs around Diego's waist, pawing at whichever parts of him he could reach.

"Oh my god," Klaus got out between kisses. "You asked me to marry you."

Diego laughed. He sounded as giddy as Klaus felt. "You said 'yes'."

Klaus laughed, tilting his head back so that Diego could kiss down his neck.

"Oh my god. I said 'yes'." He grabbed as much of Diego's hair as he could, and dragged him back in for another kiss. "Oh my god, we're going to get married."

"Oh my god," Diego teased, "do you ever shut up?"

"I thought you said you loved every single thing about me."

"I do. Doesn't mean I don't wish you'd shut up and let me kiss you."

"Oh, well, when you put it—"

Diego shut him up with another kiss, and Klaus had never been happier to have been silenced.

*

"Okay, but seriously, while I was covered in smoothie?" Klaus laughed some time later, rolling his head to the side so that he could look at Diego. The marble countertop was still cold against his back, but it was soothing on his heated skin.

Diego's breathing was only now beginning to steady too. Sunshine poured through the floor-to-ceiling windows and lit Diego from behind, making it look as if he was glowing.

Diego snorted a laugh and shrugged. He groaned with effort as he rolled onto his side and shifted so they were closer, as if they hadn't just been as close as two humans could possibly be. "I just. You were there, and you're such a fucking disaster, and such a fucking idiot, and I… I just knew. I love you so much. I had to. I had to do it right then."

Klaus narrowed his eyes at him and then lazily lifted his hand up so he could admire the ring properly. He hadn't had a chance to yet, and he was once again overwhelmed with the reminder of how well Diego knew him. The tiny diamonds caught the light and glittered beautifully.

Diego moved his head to rest against Klaus' shoulder, looking up at the ring before back at Klaus' face. Klaus lowered his hand and Diego twined their fingers together. He brought Klaus' hand to his mouth and kissed the ring. Klaus smiled as Diego then moved to kiss his nose before resting his head against Klaus' chest.

"I'm not going to tell everyone the circumstances under which this occurred," Klaus said. "You were very romantic. There were candles and flowers. And it was at a nice restaurant. Or in a park with hundreds of fairy lights. And I was wearing something cuter than my goddamn underwear and almond milk."

"Did I still fuck you on the kitchen counter afterwards?" Diego teased, smirking.

"Oh yes, that part of the story can stay." He glanced to his other side at the blender, and the mess that still needed cleaning up. He huffed and turned back to Diego, curling an arm around him.

They could clean up later.

#kliego #spikey writes

[pixel-cat-1]

I just finished The Outer Worlds

I don’t really ever use this blog for more than reblogging stuff, so this is probably coming out of left field for anyone who follows me, but as you see in the title, I beat The Outer Worlds not a couple of minutes ago. I have some thoughts I’d like to talk about while their fresh, and this is as good a place as any to do that lol

So, what did I think of it? Overall, I think The Outer Worlds is okay game that ultimately fails to meet up in many regards to not only Obsidian’s golden child, Fallout New Vegas, but in some departments even regular ass Bethesda games from years ago. And that’s honestly such a shame, because TOW had so much goddamn potential and yet I finished it and felt practically nothing for the entire last level and final ending sequence.

The main issue I think is that ultimately speaking, TOW doesn’t necessarily do anything different from any other RPG I can think of, and it doesn’t do anything like that super well. 

For example, the combat’s good on a technical level. The controls and mechanics are fun to use (especially the dodge system), but the enemies tend to either range from “complete curb stomp bitch babies” to “bullet sponge that’ll kill me so fast I won’t even know what happened.” Most fights weren’t particularly engaging, and I was basically handicapping myself but not using the companion abilities for about 75% of the game (I don’t know why I never tried pressing the d-pad buttons, but yet again, when I can just shoot shit and huff an inhaler, I didn’t need to think too hard). The disparity of how difficult the game can be is often confusing, and I was more often limited because of my ammo count more so than my ability to play the game.

The RP aspects can be good at times. There are plenty of skill checks that reward you for being a smart little egg, and a part of RPG’s I like is being able to avoid combat and make people happy, and generally make myself useful, so that was fairly fun. Overall the dialogue options and the performances by most VA’s left me not feeling like I was being hindered in acting and responding to situations how I’d like, so at the very least, that didn’t let me down.

The music was overall enjoyable, although very forgettable, and sometimes a bit all over the place: there’s Western-y guitar ambient tracks, also some more techno-y ones? Elevator music that sounds like they got it from a royalty free website. This kinda wish-washyness ties into multiple issues I had with the game I’ll get into further on.

The graphics are good, which isn’t necessarily shocking anymore because every game looks good. There are some aesthetic choices I liked, that being things like the Art Deco style architecture and advertisements from the loading screens. Terra 2 is gorgeous as all hell, with the skybox being particularly amazing (I’ve often fantasized about Earth having rings, so this partially fulfills that fantasy). Monarch is overall also very well done, with making it look and feel like a hostile shithole with ravenous wildlife. The looming gas giant overheard also does a good job of making me feel dread, which is about as much of that feeling I ever got. However, the game never really maintains a distinct “style”, rather it collages a bunch of them at once. Because for all the aesthetic of the Art Deco style that they do for cities like Byzantium. there’s like 10 levels/areas that are just generic as all hell “sci-fi space shit” that you’ve seen before. And then there’s Scylla, which is so fucking boring in design I don’t know why it’s even in the game.

This creates an issue where it’s like they wanted to make the game look Bioshock, but some people wanted something out of Mass Effect. But some people played Borderlands, and wanted to go for the wacky space bandit and hostile environment feel. But they also wanted to stick it to Bethesda, so they made is vaguely look like a Fallout game as well. It’s hard to describe in text, so I’m just gonna post these and show it best I can

^ It looks like space Bioshock here

^ And here it reminds me more of Borderlands than anything else (it’s a lot easier to see if you look at it from the ground, rip)

Scylla is literally just a rock. As far as I can tell, you could probably fucking avoid the damn thing if you avoid side quests. There’s fucking nothing there. Just enemies, a few side quest things, an empty town and a giant terraformer thingy that’s interesting to look at for like 4 seconds. And despite what you’d think, no, there is no low gravity. That would’ve at least made this place have some interesting gimmick or mechanic, but no. It’s just a fucking dumping ground for side quests. God. Fucking. Damnit.

All science-y buildings just look like this for the most part across all levels. It’s not bad, just very generic and same-y.

The Groundbreaker’s fairly interesting, until you realize that all it is is essentially a giant corridor front to back. Actually, scratch that, it’s two corridors! One of which is this Back Bays area overrun with criminals. How do you get to this clearly dangerous and isolated part of the ship? Well a fucking elevator smack dab in the middle of the pavilion of course! So anyone can just go up or down into this apparent no man’s land part of the ship by literally going into it via an elevator. Dear god.

^Monarch definitely has one of the best looking environments in the game, tied with Terra 2 down below

But what absolutely fucks the game overall is despite how much effort they put into making everything look nice (regardless if you actually like it or not), the overall level design in terms of function and whatnot? Mind numbingly boring.

All levels are really small maps with (at most) a handful of major buildings or towns depending on the scale, and the rest is just a bunch of abandoned buildings with some enemies, or a crashed ship or something. There's just...nothing going on with half of these dungeons.

Also the vast majority of buildings have a “Quarantine” sign out front or is locked in some capacity, which means you could have 4-5 buildings in a random batch of them along a road, but only 2 you can explore. And since all the fucking interiors across multiple planets look the exact same, it leads to an incredible feeling of sameiness in a game that has you running around an entire solar system. How the fuck even??? I’d argue fucking Fallout 3 handled this better. At least there was more to do! More overall dungeons and levels! Did I miss something? Am I just fucking stupid and I missed the all the good shit?

Combine this with the wish-washy aesthetics and music, it leads to an incredible feeling of not really knowing what to make of things. You’ll just be sprinting around, shooting all the red things on the compass just to get it over with by Monarch. And when you realize that LMG’s are just...the best weapons in the game as far as I could tell, and there’s no real downsize to them, you’ll just fucking run around gunning everything down while some forgettable track plays in the background until some enemy with a weirdly large health bar forces you to think for a bit before you get back to running around and shooting shit again. 

Despite this though? I still overall enjoyed the combat. I liked running around and becoming the 4th Horseman. Plus with the mechanics overall being fun to use, it wasn’t really that bad. But I can’t say on an objective level I think it’s good for a game to feel like that. Because despite how heavy handed I’m being right now (and will be throughout the rest of this impromptu review), I don’t hate this game. 

Sound design is overall very good. Guns make satisfying shooty shooty bang bang noises, and as I said before, the VA’s are overall very good all around. Parvati stands out as the most interesting character to listen to in general. She has a lot of informal speech patterns that makes her distinct, and is generally a treat to listen talk. At worst, you get a character like Nyoka, who doesn’t sound bad by any real means, but for a lot of her dialogue, I felt they should’ve slowed it down and focused on getting her emotions down. But it certainly wasn’t bad.

Storywise? This game wasn’t particularly interesting. I’m gonna put the keep reading thing here because I want to avoid spoilers for anyone who hasn’t played yet and cares about them. Long story short, I think the game was good, but very disappointing given what it could have been. I enjoyed myself for the most part, but often found the lack of anything super special to really hold it back from achieving something I think the gaming industry needed in an era of, ironically enough, hyper greedy corporations with no morals to speak of.

So, what did I think of the story? And I guess by extension, the side quests. Overall, I think the main story was...not very good. There was a lot of good stuff inbetween though, and a lot of side quests and little things definitely were enjoyable. But the plot is just not nearly as engaging as it should be. Given how short it was though, that might’ve been a mercy.

The story, as roughly as I can summarize is, is that you’re a colonist frozen on the colony ship “Hope.” It’s been adrift for 70 years, but you’re woken up by a guy named Phineas Welles (he’s basically Doc Brown, but nicer). The Board (which consists of the 10 companies who own and run the colony/solar system) try to stop him, but they fail, and you’re escape podded onto Terra 2, near a dying town called Edgewater. The pod accidentally kills the contact you were to meet, so now you’re gonna steal his ship and use it to do shit basically.

Along the way, you pick up a ragtag band of miscreants and general shitheads and kill a lot of people and wildlife in a quest to stop the corrupt Board from running the colony harder into the dirt than they already have. It’s very by the numbers, more or less. I guess.

The immediate issue is that, despite being able to join the Board and betray Phineas if you want, there’s absolutely no fucking reason to do that. Not a single goddamn reason, other than for the evulz. This creates an issue where I feel no reason to deviate from the Phineas side of the story. And I know what someone might be thinking “But Pixel! The Board is supposed to be evil!” And I am absolutely aware of that. But the thing is, so was Caesar’s Legion in Fallout New Vegas. And yet, that faction is often considered just as interesting and compelling a faction for the game as the NCR or Mr. House. People will, to this day, still argue over who had the best idea for solving the Wasteland’s issues. Because despite how evil the Legion is, they still had very valid points about the NCR and how horribly corrupt and bloated it was. And there was absolutely an argument to be made about how safe they made their lands for those under their ownership. Stuff like that that makes you actually consider and think about whether or not you're actually making the right choices for the whole of the New Vegas wasteland, and by extension the rest of the Western part of America.

Here? There’s no contest. There is no necessary evils. There is no good reason the Board does anything. No logic, no reason. All they can do is fuck shit up even more, and that makes them such a boring, vague antagonist that there was never a moment in my mind I actually considered working for them. Any potential moments they had to sway me or dashed aside by them constantly proving how they could never actually fix the problems they made. And if that was the intention? Then Obsidian fucked up.

People remember the villains that raise a point a hell of a lot more than they do villains that are just evil for the sake of it (there are obviously exceptions, for an RPG? you need a compelling villain). And that’s why no one will remember this game in a decade. It pales so hard in comparison to New Vegas, it’s not even funny. It’s on par with Fallout 3, at best. Which wouldn’t be a bad thing if the whole point of this game was to make a statement against an increasingly morally bankrupt Bethesda.

Let’s look at, per se, Skyrim. Paarthurnax was a supporting character with an interesting backstory: he’s Alduin’s brother, who is the main antagonist. He is a dragon that secludes himself on the top of the tallest mountain in Skyrim, who meditates and focuses on suppressing his inherit evil dragon nature. Despite this nature, he chooses to be good. And he asks a very compelling question.

"What is better? To be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?”

In a single sentence, Skyrim asked a more though provoking question than the entirely of The Outer Worlds. And if you played F:NV, then it’s probably weird to hear that, because F:NV was full of moral and philosophical quandaries. So where did it all go?

The thing is, people forget that the Obsidian that made F:NV is dead and gone. The actual people who made that game have all moved on from that company. This is the child trying to replicate the success of it’s parents, without entirely understanding exactly what the parent did to achieve what it achieved.

The biggest difference between F:NV and TOW is that F:NV really forces you to think. TOW just doesn’t require that, at all. 

Phineas good, Board bad. No thinking required.

I think the real warning sign is at the beginning of the game as well. Edgewater, the first town in the game, is dying. People are leaving and the town's also dealing with a disease epidemic. The town’s leader’s answer? Cut off power to the deserters, and force them to work harder despite the fact the town’s basically dying because of the overworking and disease. Despite the fact there’s not even enough medicine to heal everyone, and they have to play favorites with who lives and who dies.

What the fuck logic is this? Why would I ever choose that?

The only other choice, unless I missed a compromise solution (which I would’ve wanted) is to route power to the deserters and finish off the town more or less. The deserters wouldn’t take in everyone though, so a lot of people would die anyways. But even then, she’s still clearly the more competent leader. There’s not a goddamn contest. 

It just continues like that the whole game. I rarely had to think about who I’d side with. because the solution is obvious. The literal only reason I’d side with the corporations is if I was being evil, nothing else.

The best the story gets is when you need to make a compromise on Monarch between MSI (a corporation who got the boot from the Board) and the Iconoclasts (Religious people who are anti corporation). If you work with the second in command of the Iconoclasts, you can depose their extremist, dipshit leader and work out a truce. Which is good! It rewards the player for this too, when these factions come to help in the final level of the game (and when you see specific characters you could save helping out, that also make it feel like your decisions had an impact). You see the two factions...standing next to eachother, which isn’t much, but it’s about as much change you see in the game.

Which is also another thing that TOW fails to accomplish: a sense of longevity with my decisions leads to me feeling that, despite making the right choices, nothing really changes. 

Going back to Edgewater, you’d think after a while, I’d come back and the town would be entirely gone or something, right? 

Nope.

Some NPC’s stood outside the factory forever, as did some guards. There weren’t any lights on. That’s about it.

Well, certainly the Deserters must give me more quests to help out, which can lead to me establishing them and helping them help the Edgewaterers, right?

No. Very quickly you realize there’s very little do or talk about with NPC’s after you do monumental decisions. The only functional difference is an opinion slider, which is another imitation from F:NV that means fuck all. The only in game things it affects is: a) The prices of venders of that factions

b) Whether or not that faction will shoot you on site.

That’s it as far as I noticed. The best idea they had, that being that factions can love you, but also fear you just doesn’t do anything. As far as I could tell, at least.

I’d love to be wrong, because I was so excited to see what would happen to entire settlements and after I helped them. After I made important decisions that’d change the face of the colony. And I felt so disappointing when it became apparent little actually mattered. 

The companion sidequests aren’t too much better. The pacing is so weird, sometimes, depending on how available certain planets are. Parvati’s was especially jarring, despite it being the best written by far.

It basically is you helping her get with an engineer chick from the Groundbreaker. It’s pretty adorable overall, and without a doubt has some of the better writing character wise, but the pacing was so fucking weird. It initially starts with you getting Parvati to talk to her about engineering stuff. They say they’ll email and stuff about engineering stuff. which is neat. So I run around, finish up all the side quests on the ship as I can, then head back to my own ship. I did not go back to my ship at all during this. 

When I come back, Parvati immediately tells me that she and the engineer, Junlei, have been messaging and getting flirty and now she has a crush and it’s just like “Dude, were you texting her while we murdered all those bugs in the engine?”

It’s doubly funny as well, because Obsidian wanted to avoid the player having romanceable characters. Which makes about as much sense as you think. Once source said the reason was that they wanted you to focus on roleplay, and not trying to bang anyone you found hot (okay?). Another just said they weren’t ready for it. And I believe it. As much as I think romance would’ve been another good thing to add depth to this game, I bet you they’d have fucked it up. It’s just funny. Even Fallout 4 had pretty acceptable romances.

Granted the system was fucking basically “Kill shit together until you wanna bang” but fuck, it was something! It also doesn’t help there’s a bunch of cuties all over this game: Huxley stands out as an adorable muffin who becomes a generic NPC at the end of the MSI/Iconoclast questline, despite the fact you can even repair her journal terminal with zero indication at you can do it, which is good! Let me just do things to be nice! But she literally just sits there after you rescue her with a few dialogue options which goes away after the peace deal, and it's so fucking frustrating that I want to enjoy the characters more, but none of them seem to have more than a paragraph's worth of depth to them and it's so sad.

Even the companions are like this. At the beginning I’d try and talk with Parvati about anything, but the only dialogue options would be about getting her out of the party, and that’s it. I can’t ask her what she thinks of things, or of the current quest/situation. There’s such a weird lack of depth in a weird amount of areas, that it felt almost worse than playing a Bethesda game.

I think the penultimate disappointment of the game is, fittingly, the final level, Tartarus. Which is fitting, because it feels very hellish. Not the planet mind you, or the prison which it takes place in, but just the complete lack of anything super special. It’s just the same kind of environments you’ve already run through, but bigger and with more bullet sponge bad guys. Which is funny, because jumping around and killing an army on a purple hell planet that has perpetual lightning storms would’ve been sick as fuck, but nah, gotta run around on Scylla instead of anywhere else compelling.

In my playthrough, MSI, the Groundbreaker, and the Iconoclasts came to help me deal with all the fucking goons, which was mostly cool because I didn’t have to deal with the tediousness of killing every last one of corporate goon myself.

This is about as big of an impact your decisions come to as far as I’ve noticed. Which isn’t saying much.

You meet the Chairman of the Board here, by the way. I just shot him and kept moving. shrugs

There’s also a last minute villain in this Sophia person, who is also apparently on the Board? It’d help if there was a list of the Board people, which could’ve been on a terminal somewhere. Maybe I’m dumb and never found it, which is plausible. 

The final boss fight, (I hesitate to call it that) is just somewhat large robot. It’s a bullet sponge with respawning combat drones flying everywhere and they’re very annoying. I died once after around 10 minutes of fighting, then using Parvati and Felix’s (he’s another companion, he’s also okay I guess) combat abilities I knocked it down and layed into the robot’s weak spot. He died very quickly.

So depending on how you do it, the final fucking boss is either stupidly hard or mind numbingly easy. I don’t know which is worse.

So you go past the dead robot, gun down Sophia in one shot, and save Phineas. You basically become the leader of Halcyon, there’s a F:NV-esque slideshow and commentary about your actions that somehow is worse that New Vegas’s, credits roll, and you sit there thinking “That’s it? That’s really it?”

Yeah, that’s it. 

It’s such a let down, especially because this was supposed to be Fallout New Vegas’s spiritual successor. But all it does it make me want to play that game instead of this one.Which is probably what you should do regardless if you pick this game up or not.

There’s a bunch of other mechanics and stuff I never brought up. There’s technically a character customization screen, but you literally only see your character in the select menu, and there’s no third person. There’s a barber in Edgewater who’s also a doctor, and yet you can’t even get a haircut from him (again, failing to match up to even Fallout 3). 

There’s these Mods you can put on armor and guns, and you find them by the bucket full so you’ll always have those. Just get an aim stabilizing one for an LMG and you’ll be fine. You can also tinker your armor and weapons, making them stronger if you spend credits on it (why not the armor and weapon parts, I’ll never fucking know). You can repair your stuff at a workbench, which is advisable. Just take all the weapons and armor you pick up, take it apart for parts, and never worry about it again. You’ll get money from quests, so buying those parts is meaningless and a waste of money

There’s also hacking and stealth and stuff. Stealth is such a non...thing in the game. There’s no silencers, but since all enemies decided to put cotton into their ears, there’ll be plenty of times I shoot someone, and a guy ten feet away heard fucking nothing. Plus there’s this disguise mechanic where you pick up ID guards and get a hologram disguise that wears out as you walk (passing speech check from suspicious guards restores it), so it’s not like sneaking around was ever a priority. Just put your points into the speech. Stealth is a dump stat more or less. 

Oh yeah, Parvati’s an ace lesbian. Which is nice that they handled that way in a non-dipshit way (you can also identify as ace in certain dialogue with her in her companion questline, which is funny considering they never let you fuck anyways, so it’s weird that you even have the choice). My only complaint is that they should’ve put this representation in a better game. 

What’s funny is that, despite everything, I don’t even hate this game. I feel a remarkable numbness, followed by a desire for something better. I spent about a week burning through it? If I had more free time, I could’ve finished it sooner probably. I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it. It was pretty fun for what it was, but knowing that this is somehow supposed to match up to what F:NV was is sad, and a sign of how bad the gaming industry had fallen. 

The only difference here is that unlike the Outer Worlds, I can’t purge the rot of the gaming industry with a haelstrom of plasma bullets.

Would I recommend this game? I guess. There’s still some fun to be had, but don’t expect anything too major or interesting. Get it on sale, it;s not worth $60 right now. There’s apparently DLC coming out for it eventually? I might play it, and I might post an update to this review, or make a seperate post for that eventually. Depends on how well this one does? Or if the DLC makes me feel enough emotion to type something out like this in 2 straight hours.

#the outer worlds #fallout #obsidian #bethesda #skyrim #review #parvati holcomb #felix millstone #phineas welles #huxley #i might make a post about other miscellaenous grievances #but don't count on it

[shittyfandomimagines]

Tired with Paper Bags

Idk what this is... I wrote it in 15 mins so it’s probably trash

Pure fluff with some tired cute fluff, GIF creds to owner

“Sorry to drag you along with me to the store, we can always go back home and I’ll come back later. I know you’re exhausted from work and it’s your first week back. I should’ve shopped beforehand.” I was a blubbering mess and he just gave me a tired grin.

“Anywhere you are is home.” He grins and I roll my eyes. “Literally shut the fuck up you cringe-full fool.” I go to shove his shoulder and he grabs my hand to pull me into his side. “I’m kidding, well not really, but I’m fine with just going to a store at 9 p.m.” Calum’s infectiously goofy smile made me grin too.

“Are you sure, I’m sorry I didn’t shop beforehand,” I mumble as I grab a cart and start making my way towards the dairy section. “You’ve been busy with finals all week, you’ve been just as busy so don’t worry about it.” He kisses the side of my head and I smile more. “I appreciate that.”

“So like, can I get some cookie dough?”

“You’re a multi-millionaire and you’re asking me if you can get cookie dough, really?”

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

I shake my head as he puts a few packages of cookie dough into the basket as I pick up some eggs. I grab some cheese sticks and a gallon of milk. “There’s honestly two types of shoppers.” He jokes as he watches me pick up the essentials.

“Well, budgeting is a lifestyle, Cal.” I poke fun and he sticks his tongue out.

I move towards the cereal, he eats the shit out of that more than anything. I pull the Froot Loops and Cap’n Crunch family size boxes as he just follows behind like a lost puppy.

I continue shopping that way for a while before I ended up in the clothes section. I had gotten so sidetracked from finishing groceries. I look up to ask Cal about a shirt but I stopped in my tracks when I see his droopy eyes and a big yawn escaping.

I put the shirt down and grab his warm hand, he blinked so slowly and it made me feel guilty for keeping him up. “Let’s checkout. You’re exhausted.” I give a small smile and head towards the line, he stood behind me with his arms wrapped around the front of me.

He sluggishly helped me unload the cart onto the conveyor belt, I stand in front of the card reader waiting for the guy to finish up, Cal graciously loaded them into the cart again after they were bagged.

The total comes up and I pull my card out, Calum booty-bumping me out of the way and swiping his card before I even had the chance to. I pout a little but I see his competitive smile and I roll my eyes.

We give our goodbyes to the cashier and make our way to the car. “I could’ve paid tonight, you didn’t have to,” I mumble and he chuckles. “Yeah I know, but as you said, I am a multi-millionaire.” He acts like he was bragging and I snicker quietly.

We load up the trunk and put the cart back, I snatch the keys from Calum’s hand and run to the driver's seat, jumping in before he could physically remove me.

“Babyyyyy,” he strung out the last letter and continued to get into the passenger side. “Babe, your bags under your eyes are sponsored by Gucci and Jet-Lag, I can drive home.” I revved up the car and backed out.

Between the cool air, dark skies, and his already present drowsiness, he was out by the time I made it onto the interstate.

——

I carefully and quietly unloaded the car with it running, I have never sprinted back and forth so fast just to get it done. I wanted Cal to sleep as long as he could so he didn’t feel obligated to help when he was this exhausted.

“Calum, baby, we’re home.” I shake his right shoulder gently, he stretched slightly before releasing the seatbelt. I help him out and start towards the front door. “Baby, the groceries.” He mumbled and I laughed to myself. “They’re inside already, cmon.”

Once inside I lead him to the living room to sit for a while, I unloaded the groceries quickly, I could see his sleepy figure on the couch. I smiled to myself as he was trying so hard to stay awake.

I folded up the paper bags and stick them beside the fridge. “Hey babe, are you ready to go to bed?” I ask and he slowly nods, standing up even slower.

I grab his hand as we ascend the staircase, I couldn’t wait to be his arms but also our bed.

Once we made it to our room, we both strip down and he hands me the shirt he was wearing, I slipped it over me quickly. He flopped in bed and I was close in pursuit.

“Thank you for unloading the groceries, I’m sorry I didn’t help at all.”

“I’m sorry I made you go out, I knew you were tired and I should’ve either waited or went earlier. I’m sorry.”

The guilt built more when I saw his baggy eyes blink so slowly. He pushed some tiny hairs away from my face and then just brushed my face with his calloused fingers.

“Babe, stop feeling guilty about that, I’m not concerned about it. We both survived, slowly and tiredly, but we made it out with cookie dough.” He joked so quietly, the tiredness seems to take away the volume.

“You’re goofy babe,” I slightly laugh and he grins softly.

“Can I be honest with you?” He asks and I nod, weird to ask considering we were always honest.

“You keep apologizing and it reminds me of when you took me home to your parents like the 3rd time. You were very hangry and making cookies from scratch, you had just put them in the oven and then loaded up the dishwasher. I hopped onto the counter to sit and I just took time to admire you, per usual, but it felt so wholesome,” I go to open my mouth to talk about how I didn’t know what he was talking about, he lays his hand over it.

“Your mom came in, saw us and she jokingly said something along the lines of ‘you’re forcing a millionaire to watch you make cookies, doesn’t he have anything better to do.’ She walked out of the room and you apologized the whole time because you figured it was accurate but it wasn’t. It still isn’t. I knew when I got to watch you work you're way around the house and just made cookies so peacefully with me, I knew I wanted to see it again years down the road. I wanted to see you being my best friend as we got to do subtle yet loving things, and I get to do that. So, you inviting me to go shop because you still wanted to spend time with my tired ass and even letting me sleep through your whole unloading session, buying my favorite cereals without thought, or even thinking you’d pay for groceries... you just you make up my whole life. I wouldn’t change cookie making or tired grocery shopping for anything. Literally anything.” His speech was so slurred and slow from drowsiness but it still made me grin ear to ear.

“I’m gonna have to ship you around a plane for a couple of hours a day so you’re jet-lagged, you’re a lot more sentimental and cute.” I joke and kiss his forehead softly.

“I just really love you.” He mumbled and I could tell all of the energy went into the speech.

“Calum, I love you more than life. I would sell my left kidney just to make sure I got to spend time with you. I cherish any moment or memory I get to share with you.” I run my thumb over his silver hairline. He smiled so warmly and tiredly.

“Why your left one? Not the right?” He mumbled and I snickered. “I was hoping I could get more for it being my left.”

“Baby, I’m so tired and I want to stay up to talk about kidneys and my love for you, but I’m so tired.” He whined and I kissed his pouty lips quickly.

“Good night babe, I love you forever.”

“Night, I love you and your kidneys”.

#calum hood #calum #hood #calum imagines #calum hood imagines #calumhoodimagines #calum blurbs #calum hood blurbs #calumhoodblurbs #calum hood preference #calumhoodpreference #calum preference #calum fluff #calum hood fluff #calumhoodfluff #calum masterlist #calum hood masterlist #calumhoodmasterlist #5sos masterlists #5sosmasterlist #5sos writing #5soswriting #5sos blurbs #5sosblurbs #5sos fluff #5sosfluff

[saiangelo999]

2020 T.V Show Tracker

T.V. Shows

The Witcher 

Started 2019 finished 2020. Click here for my thoughts.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Completed - I really enjoyed the episode with Pimento, that episode was just hilarious. I think that was one of my favourite episodes this season.

Self Made

It was very a enjoyable mini-series. Sarah's story is so fascinating and inspirational precisely because of how many hardships she had to deal with throughout her life. I enjoyed the show and learning more about Madam CJ Walker.

Interior Design Masters

This was a really fun show. I didn’t agree with everything that the judges said, but I definitely had fun watching the contestants renovate commercial and residential places. My favourite episode was when they worked on the stores (not restaurants). I really loved those transformations.

The Big Flower Fight

It was such a fun show! I really enjoyed watching how the contestants used plants to create beautiful and interesting topiaries/sculptures. I loved most of the contestants and was always looking forward to their take on each challenge!

Space Force

It was a fun show! Enjoyed watching it with my sister.  :)

Hannibal

Re-visiting this show from the one or two episodes I watched back when I was in grade 12 and one of my teachers was promoting this show because her friend was an extra in it. But, I really am intrigued by the concept, the way the show is filmed is just so gorgeous for such a gory show and the plot is very fascinating. Anytime Hannibal feeds anyone I get a bit antsy. But Will Graham is just such an interesting character. I have high expectations of the show!

Update: Finished s1 and LOVED it! As I was binging s2 I started to get nightmares and also the plot started to move forward at a snail’s pace (imo) so I will put this show on hold for now.

The Umbrella Academy s2

So I really enjoyed this season of Umbrella Academy because I got to see more of Five kicking ass as a teenager, the character growth of BOTH Diego and Luther, seeing the entire family getting closer to Vanya and the general action sequences of the show. I enjoyed the new characters as well - Lila and The Swedes. I admit my memory of season 1 of this show is somewhat vague, but I found that the ending of the season (its climax to be precise in episode 10) to be somewhat lackluster considering the build-up. 

I really enjoyed was seeing Klaus, Allison and Vanya deal with their respective subplots and that scene in the barbershop with the three of them bonding really was a highlight of the season. Also when (spoiler alert) Ben finally ‘died’ and went to the afterlife that scene was so well executed and emotional and has got to be one of my favorite moments of the season. It was nice to see him helping Vanya out.

The Haunting of Bly Manor

I loved this show! I grew to love these characters so much! I loved Hannah and Owen’s relationship so much.

The Haunting of Hill House

So, I read the book first and wanted to see what the hype was all about. I really enjoyed the little easter eggs to the book in the show, and that ONE SCENE with the ‘Bent-Neck lady’ gave me a nightmare... It was good, definitely an interesting take on the story.

Anime

The Disastrous Life of Saiki: Reawakened

I love how the show constantly shows us that Saiki will tolerate anyone for the sweet sweet coffee jelly. I need more of this show!! Please give me more episodes @Netflix.

Haikyuu!

I love it. I understand the hype now. I really enjoy how they show the lives of all the people in the show, the ‘extras’ on the team, the opponents and give us a glimpse into their lives and their stories. I finished season two and am looking forward to more! It’s honestly so hard to be rooting for just one person in this show and I love that.  Finished 2 seasons so far. Will get back into it eventually. I’m honestly jealous that I can’t play volleyball rn.

Mob Psycho 100

This will probably take me a while to finish as I am planning to read it before watching it. It’s so so lovable. I love Mob and I would do anything to protect him. Also I really like Regen’s protectiveness and genuineness towards Shigeo. It’s just a great manga/anime. Finished season one. It is so addicting! I love Mob and Reigen so much! <3

Update: finished season two. Man watching this show makes my heart grow 5 x as big every time I watch it! It’s just so endearing, fun, comedic. I love how season two really just show’s Shigeo’s growth throughout the season. His speech to Shirazawa at the last episode and how it came full circle - loved it! I also was surprised by the red headed son (Ryu?) in the best way. I hope we see more of him in the next season. Can’t wait for more!

Fruits Basket season 2

Can’t wait for more crying. 🙃 I am really looking forward to seeing Yuki’s character development and his relationship with Machi and Kakeru developing. Also looking forward to seeing Momiji growing and more moments between Kyo and Tohru.

Update: Love seeing Yuki’s arc in the anime format. Seeing him reach out to his brother, Hatsuharu and the student council peeps and grow is so rewarding to watch. Looking forward to more and more Kyorhu. One wish is that, I wish with this season we could see Momiiji change physically a bit more but I’m holding onto hope for that near the end of the season. 

March Comes in like a Lion/ 3-gatsu no Lion

It’s not my usual type of anime to watch as it is so slice-of-life, but in a weird way it really reminds me of My Roommate is a Cat except after I watch it I want to play chess or learn shogi. Of course, Rei has depression and a lot of issues he needs to work with, but the sisters are just so sweet and the moments that they show up to take care of him are so heartwarming. I love his self-proclaimed ‘best’ friend and rival - Nikaidou. I just really love how he’s drawn, his personality and when he shows up in the show it definitely perks me up. I really enjoy seeing him develop as a character and as a person. I am somewhat sympathetic to the plight of his foster sister but where I am in the show (finished s1) I absolutely loathe her. I really like seeing  how many people are around Rei and watching him tackle life and grow. Looking forward to watching s2!

The animation is very interesting. One thing that I am not sure if it is deliberate or not is how the characters’ facial expressions (mostly the way the mouth is in close-ups) are drawn to me seems very ambiguous to me - I can’t quite understand what emotion is being conveyed.

Update: Started s2 and man the bullying storyline with Hina is so sad.

Teasing Master Takagi-san

DNF. Just started it randomly. It’s very cute.

The Great Pretender

I started it cuz it was short and seemed like fun. It has darker undertones than I expected going into it. On the Singapore storyline.

Wotaku

This was very short and binge-able. I liked it, it’s fun for what it is.

Dramas

Never Twice

So idk if I’ll actually keep up with this as it is a guilty pleasure atm. I just started it because I liked some of the tropes that the show had (found family, sweet male lead, baby being doted on etc.). I am enjoying the gifs of the show. The plot is very... boring and I do recognize that for the most part the female characters don’t have much intrinsic motivation or identity outside male characters... 

05.2020 Update: DNF. 

Crash Landing on You

I am really enjoying it so far. I really like that both the female leads are just very powerful and interesting on their own. Really like how the found family trope is being used. The romance is cute (a bit much at times imo). I still can’t get over how Captain Ri heard her suicide tape and just went ‘oh we are fated to be together’. That was... an interesting interpretation of the tape...

Also the whole thing with her being in N. Korea is hilarious and really the drama asks the viewer to really suspend disbelief to enjoy the show but  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Update: Completed. Enjoyed it overall. Wasn’t the best drama I’ve ever seen but REALLY loved the female leads in the show. Seo Dan and her family are just SO adorable. Can’t believe Gu Suengjoon was killed just as his relationship with Dan became so cute. One qualm is that this show does the whole near death thing WAY too many times with the main couple for my taste. 

365: Repeat the Year

Interesting premise and it has Nam Jihyun who I love. Looking forward to more and hoping it will keep my attention. I can’t believe that by episode 10 that the serial killer was revealed. I mean, I’m still invested in the show but that definitely caught me off-guard.

Finished it! I am really glad that they reduced the total amount of episodes because I felt that the ending was well done - not too rushed, not too out there (for the show). It was a very good ending for the show! I recommend it to anyone interested in a sci-fi/thriller. Overall, it was a fun time! Very engaging and would appeal to anyone interested in thrillers. I do have ONE gripe about the show which is a spoiler but it did not prevent me from enjoying the show. 

Love with Flaws/ People with Flaws

Finished! I started it cuz of a random compilation I saw on Youtube with the show and the gifs of it here and there and it’s decent overall. I would say that out of the many kdramas I’ve seen in this genre, it does stand slightly apart from the rest because of how each character is portrayed. I feel like there were no overt archetypes for the characters and I especially liked how they portrayed characters relationships. I liked how the siblings’ relationships were portrayed, and I really ended up loving the female lead’s eldest brother. He’s just so sweet and kind and I love how he does his best to take care of their entire family. It was definitely sad to see at points knowing that Cha In Ha committed suicide, but his character in the show was just so well done and important! Also his boyfriend is literally so pure I love him. As usual Seulgi just makes me go  😍😍.   

Nobody Knows 2020

It’s really good - very dark and bizarre. The shady foundation’s motivations are a mystery to me, but that hotel owner is a very interesting character. I will get back to it when I can handle more pain.

Update few months later: The twists and the turns though. Wow. I love all the children and how (so far) they are all portrayed as victims of circumstance. They are so sweet and I appreciate how Eun Ho, Dong Ryong and Min Sung’s relationships progress throughout the show. I’m also enjoying the character development of Sun Woo (the teacher/heir to the foundation). It’s also nice to see Cha Young-Jin begin to slowly open up. I’m enjoying the show a lot so far and am very intrigued by Baek Sang Ho’s group.

Final update: FINISHED it! Really loved this drama a lot. I love how all the characters are written so lovingly with so much depth to them. I liked the way the plot unraveled, I liked how all the relationships developed in the story, I loved the way forgiveness and morality were discussed. It was a really good drama and I am missing it already!

Chicago Typewriter

A re-watch. Man I love this drama. The three leads and their relationship is just adorable. 

I hope that in Shin Yul’s world/afterlife or whatever they can be happy together. <3 

Oh My Baby

I started this out because I was extremely bored and saw a few gifs of the show. It seems promising. Don’t have super high expectations of the show tbh. I do like the main couple though! They are adorable, nervously awaiting how it will conclude.

Update: Skipped a couple of episodes (4?) and went to the end. It ended up alright, very open ending and somewhat realistic. I’m glad the main characters were able to put their relationship above their disappointment in being infertile.

Strangers from Hell/ Hell is Other People

I really enjoyed it!! - If I were to recommend it to anyone I would recommend they go into it as blind as possible to enjoy it to the fullest.

So... I had no clue that this show was ONLY 10 episodes long, so imagine my surprise as the events that have been put to play begin to climax, I checked and was surprised that it wasn’t a 16 episode drama. Anyways, this drama had superb writing, directing, acting and fight scene choreography. Everything came together to really make this show have such a dark, creepy atmosphere that intensified as the episodes went on. I loved how the show portrayed how Yoon Joon Yoo/O’s mentality was tested to the breaking point. Tbh I thought he was slow in the beginning of the show (episode 1-2), but turned out that he did far better than his counterparts. I think that one thing that was a shame was they didn’t really show the strength of his relationship w his girlfriend too much before, and had they had more screen time as a couple I would have been even more invested in the story. 

Mystic Pop-up Bar

Loved it! This was a really enjoyable show. The pacing was good, the story was interesting and I liked watching the characters relationships develop. It was heartwarming and a fun watch! I enjoyed the focus on various people’s stories showcasing all sorts of relationships. 

It’s Okay Not to be Okay/ Psycho But It’s Okay

Put it on hold for now - watched up until episode 10-12ish.

Flower of Evil

The best kdrama of 2020 so far? Possibly.  Love how it mixes being a thriller with the marital relationship aspect. One potential con is that it seems that the mystery aspect of the show for now seems fairly obvious but how the situations will be handled keeps me on the edge of my seat!! Also I totally did not expect such a strong marriage to be shown in a thriller drama! Also the way that Cha Ji Won is written is just chef’s kiss. I love how complex she is, how intelligent, kind, caring and so so good at putting things together. I love Hyun So’s family and I hope it ends with them staying together.

Update: Finished it! Not sure how I feel about the very last episode... but I can say I’m glad that Do Hae Su got some crumbs in terms of character development by the end. So glad she didn’t end up with Moo Jin and started a new life abroad. The amnesia plot was unnecessary imo, I would have rather seen more cute scenes of them together than angst in the last episode. But, it was interesting to see how the trial was revealed, and the Baek’s got way better than they deserved which is unfortunately realistic.

Lie after Lie

Plot sounded way more interesting in the synopsis vs the execution. Mediocre plot which I thought was easy to see through.

Eighteen Again

sort of dnf? I made it to epi 14 or so and just finished it in my head and through gifs. It had so much potential which I think it squandered... but there were some genuinely heart warming scenes from the show which I really enjoyed. (Siwoo and his dad bonding, all the scenes showing the mc as the nicest dude).

I don’t want to be friends with you

I really enjoyed the show. I liked how it portrayed the mother-daughter relationship, the differences in how they were raised and how Li Jing Bu was able to get the love she so craved through her dream?/journey. I liked how the romance was handled, how she gained such meaningful relationships during the show and how important it was to her that her mom was happy.

The Good Detective (2020)

I really enjoyed this show! It was really cool to see a show that critiques the corrupt systems they have in place and the unexpected consequences that it can have on people. I liked how it touched on themes of guilt, remorse, forgiveness and resilience. Also, it was interesting to see a guy who has all the money in the world choose to be a workaholic detective.

Part 2

#saiangelo tracker #2020 tv show tracker #the witcher #never twice #crash landing on you #the disastrous life of saiki k. #b99 #haikyuu!! #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #hq #self made #365: repeat the year #love with flaws #people with flaws #nobody knows #fruits basket #interior design masters #march comes in like a lion #the big flower fight #oh my baby #strangers from hell #hell is other people #hannibal #mystic pop up bar #the umbrella academy #tua #psycho but it's okay #it's okay not to be okay #flower of evil

[vandermatthews]

Medicine's Amazing Advancements

im putting this one under a cut bc its very very VERY not g-rated but as usual this was a submission by the delightful @mrfredgar! seriously dude DAMN this is SPICY (and blows the fic i was writing abt this exact concept out of the goddamn WATER)

“Oh god! OOOOHHH GOD! Hose- please faster! FASTER!!!” Dutch was face down, his ass in the air, being pounded into the mattress by his lover, clutching the sheets of their hotel room, desperately trying to maintain some semblance of control. It became increasingly harder as Hosea obliged Dutch and picked up the pace, the sound of their hips slapping together filling the room.

“You like that? You like me being balls deep inside your fucking gorgeous ass?” Hosea growled in Dutch’s ear, making Dutch shiver in pleasure, and nod. Dutch loved being dominated by Hosea, feeling his long hard dick slam into him. 

He sometimes forgot how fucking big Hosea was, and when Dutch thought he couldn’t get any deeper, Hosea changed the angle and buried his dick inside Dutch’s asshole even more, filling and stretching Dutch.

Hosea pulled out suddenly, making Dutch turn his head and whimper, but Hosea gestured for Dutch to sit up. Hosea sat back against the headboard and gestured for Dutch to sit down on his lap. 

“I’m gonna make you ride my dick like the fucking slutty cowboy you are.” Hosea threatened, making Dutch groan and become putty in his hands. From this position Dutch could control the show, and he slammed into Hosea so hard the headboard banged against the wall, but neither man cared.

“Jesus Hosea, you feel so fucking good. Fuck! God I could ride your dick all fucking day.” Dutch threw his head back and closed his eyes, immersing himself in the moment.

Hosea reached up and stroked his lovers face, marveling in the beauty before him. But Hosea decided he needed a new position, and quickly flipped them without pulling out. Dutch let out a surprised squeal that quickly turned into a loud moan as Hosea push Dutch’s legs back towards his head, allowing the older man to get even deeper, and finally being able to hit Dutch’s prostate.

“OOoOOoOOO, HOSEA! YES! YES! YES! AHHHHH” Dutch was close, very close. Hosea grinned and lent down to whisper in Dutch ear, feeling Dutch’s ragged breath on his face, his face flush and a sheen of sweat on his forehead.

“You want me to cum in you baby? You wanna feel my cum fill you up, fill you to the hilt with my seed? Huh baby, you want it don’t you?” Dutch simply nodded and whined a little.

“I need to hear you say it, or I just wont know.” Hosea stopped moving and went to pull out. Dutch’s eyes flew open, a look of panic in them. He quickly grabbed Hosea’s hips, stopping the other mans retreat.

“Don’t you fucking dare!” Dutch warned. He relaxed a bit, thought when he knew Hosea wasn’t going anywhere “I-I need you to cum in me Hosea! You know I do! Please!!” Dutch begged. Dutch would never be caught dead begging to anyone but Hosea, but oh did it have amazing results.

Hosea thrusted two, three more times, before burring himself as deep as he could, loudly groaning as he emptied his load inside Dutch. “Don’t waste any!” Dutch screamed as he felt Hosea’s cum warm him from the inside, causing him to cum hard and violently, screaming Hosea’s name over and over again.

When both men had regained their strength, Hosea reached for his pants, careful not to pull out. 

“What are you doing?” Dutch inquired, becoming more perplexed when Hosea showed him an egg shaped object with a handle on one end. “What the fuck is that?”

“This, my beautiful angel, is what is called a ‘rectal dilator’ and it is used to cure insanity by inserting it within the rectum. Of course I have other ideas. Since you love my cum being inside you so much, I thought why not keep it there.” Hosea dropped to a whisper and looked Dutch directly in the eyes as he said the last three words. Dutch closed his eyes and loudly groaned his approval.

Hosea positioned the rectal dilator so as soon as he pulled out, he could push it in, making sure not to waste anything. Of course, he had to admire his work for a few seconds, his cock twitching when his own cum oozed out of Dutch. Hosea took his index finger and swiped up the cum, pushing it back inside Dutch, making the younger man groan again. Hosea swiftly inserted the rectal dilator, again making Dutch groan loudly his eyes snapping open to look at Hosea.

“Ho-how long?” Dutch barely containing himself with the dilator inside him.

“All. Day.” Hosea demanded, Dutch simply threw his head back, relishing having Hosea’s cum trapped inside him.

“Alright baby, we should be getting home.” Hosea said as he stood to get dressed, Dutch’s eyes opening with alarm.

“You can’t honestly expect me to go out in front of people like this!? Much less ride a horse!” Dutch exclaimed.

“Oh but I do, and you will. Now get up.” Hosea threw Dutch’s shirt at him, ignoring the look of horror on his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every time Dutch moved he could feel the dilator shift inside him, making him groan quietly and earning him a glare from Hosea for making too much noise. By the time they made it down to their horses, Dutch had taken his vest off so he could hide his half-hard cock. But everything was thrown out the window when he sat down in the saddle, causing Dutch to moan very loudly and very explicitly, causing people nearby to turn and Hosea to glare at him again.

“How the fuck do you expect you to keep quiet!?” Dutch shot back, but he was enjoying it nonetheless.

The ride back to camp was slow because if they traveled fast than a walk Dutch cried out loudly at the dilator pressing insistently into his ass. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) The Count slipped on a rock, causing Dutch to jolt and the dilator to shift inside him. Now it was pressed firmly against his prostate, causing his half hard cock to become very hard very quickly and Dutch’s breathing hitched. 

Hosea stopped and felt his own cock twitch looking at the flushed face of his lover, head thrown back, breathing ragged. “You alright?” Hosea asked smugly. 

“N-no. I-I need to st-stop. I’m so fucking hard, I just need to release. Please!” Dutch begged. Hosea hopped down, grabbed Dutch’s hand, gesturing him to get down too. 

Hosea dragged him off the path behind a tree out of passerby’s line of sight. He slowly stroked Dutch’s face before turning him around to face the tree. Hosea had Dutch’s gun belt, pants, and underpants off and down past his ass before Dutch knew what was happening. Hosea stopped to admire the silver object protruding from Dutch’s amazing ass, gently stroking one cheek and causing Dutch to shiver. 

Hosea quickly pulled the dilator out hearing Dutch sign in relief, but quickly replaced it with his own hard dick. Dutch screamed in shock and pleasure as Hosea quickly pounded Dutch’s ass against a tree. Hosea reached around to grab Dutch’s dick, matching his hand to his thrusts. Within minuets Dutch was a blabbering mess, begging for release. Hosea thrusted a few more times before cumming in Dutch for the second time that day, feeling Dutch’s hot cum coat his hand seconds later. Hosea quickly pulled out and re-inserted the dilator. 

“Fuck Hosea, I-I don’t think I can take much more of this.” Dutch begged against the tree as Hosea gently tucked him back into his pants and turned him around to kiss him.

“Yes you can baby. Just remember that my sweet hot cum is bottled up inside you. Just how you like it. You like being full of my seed, don’t you?” Hosea taunted. Dutch merely nodded. “Come. We’re almost back to camp. And you have a big speech to give about that stagecoach job.” With that, Hosea stroked his face, pecked him on the cheek, and walked back to Silver Dollar.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dutch and Hosea made it back to camp without another incident, of course Dutch had to keep his vest in front of his waist because his dick still felt it necessary to react to the sweet dilator in his ass, pressing against his prostate and keeping Hosea’s cum inside him, a fact Dutch took great joy in.

Dutch was able to calm his cock long enough to inform the boys about a possible stagecoach job, promising that once they got enough money, they would disappear to Tahiti, and start new lives as mango farmers. Dutch and Hosea had been dreaming of retiring to Tahiti on a mango farm since they were twenty years old, hoping one day they’d be able to have their own hut, falling asleep and waking up to each other for the rest of their lives, basking in the Caribbean sun together, with their family.

While Dutch gave his rousing speech about loyalty and money and family, Hosea stood closer to him than normal, a fact Arthur noticed right away, but dismissed as Hosea feeling particularly protective and lovey to Dutch that day. What Arthur, or anyone for that matter, failed to noticed was Hosea’s hand grazing against Dutch’s backside, causing Dutch’s voice to hitch ever so slightly.

Once the speech was over, it was almost time for dinner, but Hosea had other plans for them. He gently pulled Dutch into the younger mans tent, closing and latching the flaps behind them, but not before giving Arthur a pointed look that meant they were not to be disturb. Arthur nodded in understanding and walked away.

Hosea slowly turned towards Dutch who’s breathing had picked up again seeing the predatory stance of his lover. “Well, well well, you’ve been a very good boy today. You got through your entire speech without giving away our little secret.” Hosea began toying with the buttons on Dutch’s shirt, slowly looking up into Dutch’s brown eyes through his lashes. Dutch’s every nerve was on fire, the ever present dilator inside him. “Now baby, you want me to take out the dilator?’ Dutch could only nod. “Ok, but first I’m gonna fuck you so hard against that cot that you won’t be able to remember your own name.” 

Hosea grabbed Dutch’s lapels and kissed him hard, throwing him onto the cot quickly following him. Hosea made quick work of Dutch’s clothes, relishing every piece of skin he exposed. He slowly kissed a line from Dutch’s lips, over his jaw line, sucking on his adams apple, making Dutch to gasp and arch his back. Hosea grinned and moved further south, nipping at Dutch’s collar bone.

Hosea drew one perk nipple into his mouth and sucked hard while he tweaked the other with his fingers. Dutch yelped, causing Hosea to shush him and shove his fingers in Dutch’s mouth for him to suck. Hosea’s eyes rolled into the back of his head for a second as Dutch sucked, before he moved onto to the other nipple, giving the same treatment as the first. Hosea released Dutch’s nipple with a loud pop, smirking up at Dutch and pulled his finger out of the mans mouth. 

He moved back up to Dutch’s face and kissed him softly and gently. While simultaneously he moved his now wet fingers down to weave within the curls near Dutch’s cock. He quickly grasped Dutch’s cock and pulled, Dutch moaning loudly into Hosea’s mouth. Hosea just smiled and picked up the pace, all the while still kissing Dutch to silence his very loud groans and moans. 

Hosea suddenly stopped and began to remove his own pants and underpants. When he was undressed from the waste down Hosea firmly grasped both Dutch’s and his own dick in one hand and began jerking them both off, very much enjoying the friction and feel of having his dick pressed against Dutch’s. And from the noises coming out of Dutch’s mouth he enjoyed it too. Hosea jerked them off for a bit before he lifted Dutch’s legs into the air and pushed them towards his face, just as before.

Hosea drew a line from Dutch’s dick down to the rectal dilator, causing Dutch to shiver in anticipation, before pulling the dilator out, moaning himself as he saw his own cum leak out of Dutch’s beautiful hole. “Fuck baby. Do you know what seeing my cum in you does to me? God, I fucking love it baby, I fucking love seeing my seed in you, knowing I did that, knowing I am the only man for you. You are mine. Mine. MINE!” With the last word Hosea quickly pressed his cock into Dutch, not stoping until he was buried to the hilt inside Dutch. Dutch loudly cried out, shoving his fist into his mouth, trying to muffle the sound.

Hosea pounded hard and fast into Dutch, the sound of their skin slapping together filling the air along with Hosea’s heaving breathing and Dutch’s muffled moaning. It wasn’t long until Hosea felt the familiar tightening of his balls and knew he was close. “God baby, I’m gonna cum. Jesus I’m gonna cum so fucking hard in your tight fucking hole. I’m gonna fill you up again. You’ll be so full of my cum that you won’t be able to hold it all. It’ll be coming out of you for days.” 

Hosea threw his head back and groaned as he came hard, Dutch following him quickly over the edge as he felt Hosea’s fresh seed fill him. Dutch grabbed Hosea’s head and pulled him down to muffle his scream in Hosea’s mouth.

Hosea collapsed onto Dutch, breathing hard, so hard he felt tinge of panic fill him as he felt the familiar tug of an asthma attack coming on. He tried to even out his breathing quickly so his sickness didn’t ruin the mood, but Dutch caught on, pushing Hosea off of him and grabbing his inhaler quickly, shoving it in Hosea’s face, the older man grabbing it gratefully. 

After a few puffs, Hosea looked at Dutch and laughed a bit “Jesus, what a wonderful way to end an amazing day. Having to make sure your boyfriend doesn’t die of an asthma attack after sex. What a pity sight I must be.” Laughing in pity at himself

“Shush. You are beautiful and you didn’t ruin anything.” Dutch whispered as he stroked Hosea’s face, calming the older man down. 

After a few minuets Hosea’s breathing returned to normal. Hosea grabbed an old towel or handkerchief and began cleaning the two of them up, being gentle with Dutch’s still sensitive body. After he was done, he threw the cloth aside and curled up next to Dutch, pulled the blanket on them and threw a hand over Dutch’s stomach while Dutch wrapped his arm around Hosea and kissed his hair.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

[littlefanscribbles-blog]

Author's Note: So, I really enjoyed writing about the eggs so it made me think about what it would be like if the kids where teens and following the path their fathers have. I know I am the only one excited about these four but I can't help it.

Not the Same

"Titan, you have to get higher." Elisabetta groaned, moving her hands as she spoke, before pinching the bridge of her nose at the other turtle. In the last sixteen years Titan had gotten bigger than her but stronger was still up for debate.

"Get off his back, Elisa." Domenico said, walking in. He just got out of training with his father, his father pushed him a little harder than his cousins but it was because Dom was going to be the leader of the four. "He's trying his best." Tizaiano was always smaller and slower but he has gotten better. He may be tall now but he was still considered the weak link of the team but doesn't mean Dom liked people holding it over Titan's head.

"Its fine, Dom." Titan shrugged, his hands moving as he spoke. "I'll get it next time."

"Third times the charm is really a figure of speech, T. Usually takes over twenty times for something to go right." Sofonisba said, tweaking with the electrical device she was playing with. "I seriously don't see how Dad got this to work." She made sure her face was facing her cousin as her hands worked on the project in front of her.

"Red to black, black to red Sofi." Titan signes, moving to do the same trick and falling on his ass again. "Fuck!" He let out in slurred speech. He got up and walked to Sofi to sit and do the wiring. Donnie helped him put back together old game stations so he knew how to do the wiring, it was really fun to do something with his hands.

Elisa rolled her eyes, she did have the same hot head as her father and Dom was just as bossy but it was Titan who was really good at tech stuff. Sofi was smart but she wasn't very good at making technology, however, she was able to recall most facts and knew about almost everything else. Titan supposed he just wanted to be good at something because he was the goof that wasn't very good at Ninjutsu, not to mention he was the only one deaf. A defect from his birth, but, his family learned how to do sign language with only four fingers. The family stayed close nit.

"Sofi," Donnie called, walking into the game room they had built for the kids. He smiled seeing his little girl with the working device. "Hey you got it to work." He said getting slightly distracted before going back on the subject at hand. "Help me make dinner, trying to show Mikey lasagna tastes like pizza." Donnie had a habit of signing when he spoke so Titan never felt out of place, besides, lip reading only allowed someone to catch half of the conversation.

"No it doesn't," the four said in confusion as Sofi handed Titan the device and getting up.

"We all need something more than pizza in our diet." Donnie said with a sigh.

"Says the guy who licks poptarts." Raph said with a chuckle. "Leo and I are going on patrol, we'll see you kids later." Raph had a hard time learning to sign, he tried to slow his speech so his nephew could read his lips instead.

"Can I go?" Elisa asked, looking up at her father. Raph made a face and nodded. "Dom goes with you."

"I am not a child, dad."

"Yes, Elisabeth you are. Either Domenico goes or you won't." He said turning out, Donnie shaking his head and walking to the kitchen with Sofi.

"Can you believe him?" She scoffed.

"He is just making sure you won't cause trouble like he did." Titan signed, getting up.

"We're not the same as they are, T." She argued, the only sign she sent Titan was the sign for 'fuck off'.

"No, we're getting the easier jobs. They dealt with the big threats like Shredder we just have gangs to deal with. Baby jobs compared to them but still dangerous." Domenico said, shrugging. He could swear he heard Elisa roll her eyes and head to the main room still fuming.

Elisa groaned, getting ready to go out when she looked around for her sais. "Elisabetta," she heard her name, looking over to see her grandfather.

"Yes, Sensei?" She asked, putting the sais at her sides when she turned to him. Her grandfather and Uncle Donnie where the only ones that called her by her renaissance name. She liked it better than Elisabeth because it fit how different she was.

"Are you going out angry?" He asked, making her sigh.

"No, Grandfather." She promised. "I just wish someone had faith in me."

"Your father does," he promised. "He just worries for you, its a parent thing." He said with a teasing smile. Everyone knew what he meant by that. He was the rat that hid his children from the world after all. "Do be careful, Elisabetta."

"I will Grandfather," she said with a smile and kissed his cheek before making her way to Domenico so they could go topside together.

Domenico was quiet, taking the roof that was opposite of their fathers. Dom was usually quiet, even compared to Titan who could hardly speak physical words himself. Most of the time it annoyed Elisa to no end so she usually chose to pretend he wasn't there but today he was following her around. She gave an annoyed groan.

"Groan all you want to, we have to stick together El."

"Dom, you do know you are not your dad right?"

"I don't do it because of my dad, I do it because my role." He argued.

"If you don't want to be leader all you have to do is tell Leo!"

"Its not that easy, Elisa!" He groaned. "Its kind of like Sofi always feeling the need to be smart or Titan always feeling like he has to be the goof ball when he is really smart. Its just what is given to us, you fallow the rebel thing given to you perfectly." He watched Elisa sighed as she looked at her cousin.

"Whats the color of your mask?"

"Blue," he said with a shrug. His mask was a dark blue and Elisa's was a burgundy red and the other two had the same colors of their fathers in different shades as well.

"Yeah, but what is your name?" She asked, him kinda putting it together. "Its not Leonardo. We are half our fathers but their are mothers that we don't know the personality about that contribute. We are not the same, Dommy."

#domenico #elisabeth #titan #sofi #tmnt #tmnt imagines #tmnt new gen #Imagines | TMNT

[writemyanchor]

Along Came You

Summary: Killian Jones is a jaded NYPD detective who has been on the force for nearly ten years. He doesn’t do emotions and he certainly doesn’t do relationships. Enter Emma Swan. She’s never been one to back down from a challenge.

Rated E

Content/Trigger warnings: Strong sexual content, language, mention of minor character(s) death(s), alcohol abuse

a/n: First of all, thank you to the community @captainswanbigbang that put the CSLB together. It was so much fun interacting with artists and writers on tumblr and getting to create together. So, thank you!

Also, thank you to my amazing beta-reader @awkwardnessandbaseball who has more patience than I can understand and is so bad ass in her editing skills. She made this story SO much better.

Finally, I love my artwork! I’ve never had one for a CS fic before and @liloproductions made this beautiful one for my story that fit so well and was so perfect that I was almost shocked how spot on she got it. I’m simply in love with it.

Lastly, if you read this fic in its entirety, then you’re already really freaking awesome in my book!

Links: AO3 FANFICTION

X X

KILLIAN JONES

He pushed himself harder than he’d intended at the gym, his sweat-soaked shirt sticking to his skin. He was beat, having gotten off an 18-hour shift two nights before then jogging to and from a two-hour gym session with David. He should have ignored his best friend when he rang him at 6 o’clock that morning, but…

The elevator dinged on his floor and Killian pushed himself off the wall, grabbing his keys from his pocket as he walked down the hall towards his apartment. When he entered his place, he was surprised to find the scent of bacon and eggs as well as the faint sound of the radio coming from the kitchen. Killian kicked off his shoes and left his things by the door before rounding the corner, a pinch in his brow.

The brunette standing in front of the stove—the very reason he had answered David’s call—was currently humming along to Electric Light Orchestra’s ‘Don’t Bring Me Down’ without a care in the world, swaying her hips, completely oblivious to his presence.

He was hit with flashes of the night before. His head ached from the amount of rum he had consumed, but he could remember bits and pieces of her dancing against him. He wasn’t much of a dancer, mostly just swayed slightly, smiling like a drunken fool as she rubbed her body against him.

Killian shook his head to clear his mind before he loudly cleared his throat. The brunette jumped slightly before spinning around on her heel. She was wearing her tiny boy shorts and one of his t-shirts, which made him clench his jaw.

Had she rifled through his things while he was gone? The woman before him smiled and reached over to turn off the radio. “Hey, you,” she said, her chest heaving a bit. “I was wondering where you went.” She sauntered over to him, a seductive smile on her face as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Suddenly, Killian couldn’t breathe. “Um,” he hummed and, trying his best to remember his manners, placed his fingertips barely on her waist to push her away gently. Her forehead wrinkled in confusion. “What’s the matter, baby?” His eyebrow rose of its own accord because he had just met this woman last night, after a pint too many, and they didn’t even know each other’s last names. “Listen, Aurora—” She almost beamed at him remembering her first name and it made something in his chest ache, but he pushed it away—“I have an early shift tomorrow morning and I have...a lot of errands to do today.” Aurora’s face fell and she took a step back. “What?” she chuckled. “Last night you said we’d...spend the weekend together.”

Killian’s jaw dropped. Had he really said that?

She took a step towards him and he took one back. Both of her eyebrows flew up this time and after a moment she said, “You’re blowing me off.” “I’m not—“ “I thought we had a good time last night.” Bloody hell. “We did, love, just...” “First, I am not your love. Second, my friend told me exactly what you were like and I didn’t listen.” She let out a sigh before looking around uncomfortably for a moment. “Let me just grab my things.” Killian ran a hand through his hair and let out a long sigh of his own as he heard Aurora rummaging around in his bedroom. About five minutes later she emerged fully dressed with her hair thrown up in a high ponytail. Killian could do nothing but watch her as she sat down in the foyer to slip on her shoes. It wasn’t until she reached for the doorknob that he finally found his voice. “For what it’s worth, I did have a good time,” he said. “I just don’t...do this.” He motioned between them pathetically.

She let out a humorless laugh before turning around to face him. “So what? You just fuck your way through New York because you have commitment issues? Guess what? We all have baggage. What makes yours any heavier than the rest of ours?” He couldn’t help but flinch at her words, but she didn’t give him a chance to respond—not that he could—before she left. She didn’t slam the door behind her like he expected, like he knew he deserved.

X X

EMMA SWAN

Emma was laying in her bed at 2 o’clock in the morning, hair thrown up in a loose bun and eating leftover pizza from the parlor down the street. She had to be up in just a few hours, but for now she didn’t care. She had finally finished unpacking and was officially moved into her new apartment— it was modest, but it was clean and in a nice neighborhood and that was all she had wanted. She didn’t think she would actually finish moving in that night, but her friend Mary-Margaret, in all her beautiful, insistent glory, had rang her doorbell at 5 o’clock that morning with a smile on her face.

“David’s at the gym and I wanted to see your new place!” was her only explanation. But she had brought coffee and bear claws and was an interior designer for crying out loud, so really Emma had no room to complain.

Emma had known Mary-Margaret back in Storybrooke, Maine. They met their freshman year of high school and had even been roommates at Boston University for four years. They only parted ways when Mary-Margaret moved to New York for graduate school. Then she met David and the two of them had been inseparable ever since, moving in together not long after.

Emma was happy for her friend—David was a good man who loved her and Mary-Margaret deserved nothing less. Although, sometimes Emma had to admit she envied her friend’s love. She knew that what Mary-Margaret and David felt for each other was deep and rare, and it was something Emma had never had.

That didn’t stop her from thinking about it, though. Perhaps it was the romantic novels she buried herself in, but Emma sometimes wondered if there was a person out there who would fit into her life like a missing puzzle piece.

She thought she might have found something close with Neal, but it turned out she had just been young and naive. She turned to casual dating through college, thinking she would ‘stumble’ across her Prince Charming one day.

But that had only led her to Walsh, the arrogant salesman; Jefferson, who flirted with everything in a dress; and of course Graham, who was so sweet and kind and good-looking to boot that Emma almost wanted him to be the one. Sadly, there had just been no spark.

Needless to say, she still hadn’t met the man that quite...did it for her. She hadn’t met her person.

Emma’s plan had never been to join Mary-Margaret in New York—she had a good teaching job at Bunker Hill Community College and a cozy little loft—but she felt maybe it was time to get out of Boston and try to get a fresh start away from everything that was familiar. So when NYU had emailed her about an opening for professors specifically in Classic Literature, she knew it was a sign.

The next day was her first day teaching and she was ready.

X X

KILLIAN JONES

“Well hello there, Casanova.”

Killian rolled his eyes as he took a seat at his desk, across from his partner David. He handed David his coffee while taking a sip of his own. Killian began aimlessly fiddling through a finished case file on his desk, hoping to distract his friend from where this conversation was obviously headed.

“Sorry for pulling you away from your lady love yesterday,” David continued, an infuriating grin on his face. “If you’d just told me you were seeing someone…”

“I’m not.” Killian couldn’t help but snap, looking up. Then his eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he shook his head. “Wait, how the bloody hell did you know about that?”

David couldn’t hide his guilty face even if he tried. “Robin may have let a few details slip about your outing at the bar this weekend. So, what’s her name?” He smiled and leaned back in his chair, placing both hands behind his head.

Killian’s jaw clenched as he looked down at the papers in front of him. “It doesn’t matter,” he said quietly. “I’m not seeing her again.”

He heard David sigh. “Isn’t that the third one night stand you’ve had this month?”

Killian couldn’t help but slam his pen on his desk. “Bloody hell, are you keeping track?”

Suddenly David leaned forward with a serious expression. “Look, Killian, you know I love you like a brother—”

“Mate, I’m going to go ahead and stop you right there. I don’t want to hear your speech about ‘meaningful relationships’ before I’ve even finished my first cup of coffee,” he said, a pleading look on his face.

David held his hands up in surrender. “I promise you this is not a speech. I just think if you met the right person—”

Killian clenched his jaw again. “Listen, Dave. I told you once we’re not discussing this. I don’t want to have to tell you again.” He fixed his partner with a hard stare, and as expected, David let out a sigh before he finally backed down, frustration clear as day on his face.

Thankfully, the awkwardness didn’t last long because their captain approached them a moment later, clearing his throat and looking between the two men curiously. Killian tore his glare away from David to meet his superior’s gaze.

“Morning, gentleman,” Captain Gold said. “Is there a problem here?”

“No,” Killian answered, fighting to keep his voice steady. He didn’t want to get on his superior’s bad side today. “I have the briefing on the Samson case whenever you’re ready.” It was easy for Killian to slip back into the role of detective; it was familiar and safe.

“Absolutely,” Gold responded, all authority. “Be in my office in ten minutes.”

Killian simply nodded and turned his attention to his computer, burying himself in his paperwork once again. Twenty minutes later, David got up and offered him another cup of coffee. When Killian raised an eyebrow, and David only nodded once in return, he knew he and his friend were on good terms again. For now.

X X

EMMA SWAN

“You are being dramatic,” Mary-Margaret said, her tone disbelieving.

“I’m really not,” Emma laughed as Mary-Margaret took the wine bottle from her hands and led her to the kitchen. “Second day of class and I already have two students asking for extensions on a paper. What is happening to the world?”

“Hey, do not ask me that,” Regina—a close friend of Mary-Margaret—chimed in. “I could go on and on.”

Mary-Margaret giggled as she uncorked the wine and filled a glass. “We don’t want that. Here, drink this,” she said, handing the full glass to Regina, who took it graciously.

“By the way, is Jones gracing us with his presence tonight?” Regina asked.

Mary-Margaret sighed, handing Emma a generous glass of wine before pouring her own. “I honestly do not know what is going on with that man,” she said, setting the bottle down. “You know I haven’t seen him since Trivia Night? Two months ago.”

“Who is Jones?” Emma asked curiously.

“Killian Jones,” Mary-Margaret said. “David’s partner.”

“Oh!” Emma recalled the few stories she heard about him from Mary-Margaret and David over the years, but she had never met him, nor seen a photo of him. “So he does exist.”

Mary-Margaret laughed and rolled her eyes.

“Who exists?” Regina’s husband, Robin, asked as he entered the kitchen. He was a few inches taller than her, with sandy blonde hair, kind eyes, and a British accent.

“Detective Killian Jones,” Regina said dramatically, wrapping her arm around Robin’s waist as he embraced her. “Heard of him?”

“Ahh yes, the elusive Detective Jones,” Robin said playfully. “I hear he lurks in subway trenches in the middle of the night, and feeds off the empty beer bottles of the Uni kids.”

Regina giggled, startling Emma and making her completely forget about the drink that was halfway to her mouth. She watched Regina snuggle closer to Robin with an almost drunken smile on her face that Emma was sure had nothing to do with the wine.

“You’re so cheesy, do you know that?” Regina murmured.

Robin looked down at her so longingly, Emma had to look away. “Only for you, my darling love bug,” he said.

Emma inexplicably felt herself blush and she quickly looked down before gulping the rest of her wine—despite it still being half full—and discreetly moved to the island to pour herself another.

Just as she was topping off her glass, she heard the distinct sound of lips smacking, so she took a large gulp of her wine and reached for a cracker on the cheese plate in front of her. Mary-Margaret appeared next to her, grabbing a tiny piece of salami and thankfully oblivious to her discomfort.

Before anyone could say another word, the doorbell rang. Mary-Margaret stepped forward to answer it, but David finally appeared from the living room and headed toward the front door. There were muffled voices and a few chuckles before footsteps approached them.

“Look who I found!” David’s booming voice entered the kitchen before he did.

Following behind him was a tall, dark-haired, incredibly handsome man. Emma Swan did not get goosebumps often, but here she was getting them at the sight of a total stranger. He was looking a bit sheepish at the attention he was now getting from everyone, and Emma took a moment to admire his crisp, dark blue button-down shirt, rolled up to his elbows. He was wearing a pair of dark, tight-fitting jeans that fit so snugly around his hips and legs she briefly wondered if he got them custom-fitted. He was holding a bottle of red wine in his hands...Which brought Emma to his hands.

Maybe it was because he was so handsome, maybe because he had this air of mystery surrounding him, but his hands were so...nice. They were manly, but elegant. Long and lean, but obviously strong. And his forearms, covered in a dark dusting of hair, flexed when he shook hands with Robin, and it took a minute for Emma to realize she was actually biting her lip. She quickly stopped, but immediately after her eyes zoned in on the bit of chest hair peeking out through his unbuttoned shirt collar and she was sure she was done. Right. There.

Emma realized there were muffled voices around her, and quickly came to before someone realized she was day-dreaming. Thankfully, the man in question had his entire focus on the host, apologizing profusely for his tardiness.

“I’m just glad you’re here, Killian,” Mary-Margaret said, smiling wide. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too, love,” he breathed, wrapping his arms around her in a hug, and for heaven’s sakes Emma felt a jealousy she had no right or reason to feel. Mary-Margaret was in love with David for crying out loud! And who even was this guy?

She took a moment to be relieved no one had caught her ogling, then proceeded to accidentally ogle more when Killian greeted the others.

It wasn’t until she saw...eyes...blue eyes...looking right into hers...that she finally snapped out of it.

“Um,” Emma shook her head, feeling her entire body go numb.

Thankfully Mary-Margaret saved her, with or without knowing it. “Oh, Killian, this is my best friend Emma,” she said, walking over and wrapping an arm around her. “From Storybrooke.”

Killian, who was now looking at her like a deer caught in the headlights, shook his head so minutely Emma was probably the only one who noticed. Then his face broke out in a stunning grin and he took a step forward.

“Aye,” he said, sticking his hand out. “Pleasure to finally meet you, Ms. Swan.”

Emma shook his hand, smiling slightly. His hand was warm. “You too, Mr. Jones.”

His lips twitched.

She blushed.

Who was this man?

X X

KILLIAN JONES

Emma Swan. The name had been thrown around quite a bit in the years he had known David and Mary-Margaret, but he truly wasn’t prepared for the blonde goddess that greeted him that evening. He had planned on blowing off Mary-Margaret and David’s dinner invitation that night, in no mood to sit through hours of menial small talk. But he knew he’d disappointed his friends enough times; he didn’t have too many chances left.

But that had in no way factored in Emma Swan, with her tight jeans and long, blonde hair and her heartbreakingly beautiful smile, with eyes so green he wanted to sit and stare at them for a little while to memorize all the hues.

Killian cursed himself for his ridiculous thoughts and promptly accepted the beer Robin handed him.

She’s just a woman for bloody sake, he thought, taking a heavy swig.

It only took an hour into the evening, however, to understand Emma wasn’t like any other woman he had ever met. When he spoke, she looked directly into his eyes, even when it made him uncomfortable and he had to look away. When he looked back at her, she was always still gazing at him. Her presence was far too distracting and he was aware of her the entire night. When she laughed, gods above when she laughed, Killian actually had to bite his lip to keep from groaning out loud.

Bloody hell, he had a crush on her. Like some pre-pubescent lad in preparatory school. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had a crush, if he had ever had one. Killian had never really felt emotionally attached to a person; he had always been more comfortable initiating physical relationships.

A woman had never made Killian uneasy like this and he didn’t like it.

He knew he was in big trouble when he found himself purposely not answering her the first time she called his name simply because he wanted to hear her say it again.

So after dinner, when everyone else was pretty much three sheets to the wind and eating the remaining cheesecake straight from the tray, Killian excused himself to the kitchen to get some ‘water.’

At the sink, he downed two shots of tequila, and was pouring himself a third when he felt the air in the small space suddenly shift.

His shoulders went tight.

“Drinking alone?”

Killian swallowed hard and finished pouring the shot as he let out a humorless chuckle. He threw back the drink, barely wincing at the sting, before he composed himself and turned around.

Emma was leaning across the island, and bloody Christ he could see straight down her blouse, her arms pressing together, adding to the exposed cleavage. He quickly tore his eyes away and cursed internally again.

“Can I have one?” she asked.

Killian looked back at her and she gestured to the bottle of tequila and shot glass behind him. He raised an eyebrow, but grabbed the bottle and glass, placing them on the island between them.

She frowned when he only poured half a shot and he chuckled, shaking his head as he topped it off.

“Thank you,” she said, standing up straight. Killian sighed in relief when he could no longer see down her shirt.

“Drinking alone?” he couldn’t help but tease.

“I’m not alone. You’re right here with me,” she smiled, not breaking his gaze as she threw the shot back gracefully, setting the empty glass on the countertop with a clink.

X X

EMMA SWAN

“So what’s your story, Killian Jones?” she asked, reaching for the bottle and pouring another shot.

“I beg your pardon?” Killian leaned against the sink behind him and crossed his arms.

Emma shrugged, holding up the glass. “Everyone was surprised that you came. Why is that?”

“No story, I’m afraid. Just ol’ chaps happy to see one another, I suppose.” He smiled and, despite only having met him a few hours ago, she could instantly tell he was lying.

Emma finished half the shot before sliding the half-full glass towards him. Killian quirked an eyebrow at her again, a habit she was growing to really like, before gently pushing off the sink and taking the drink. Emma watched him down the rest in one go, admiring the way his Adam's apple bobbed and his throat muscles contracted as he swallowed.

“I don’t buy it,” Emma continued, the alcohol essentially evaporating any filter she had left. “I think there’s something Detective Jones isn’t telling me.” She swayed slightly, leaning her hands on the countertop as she tilted her head at him.

Killian scratched the back of his ear and let out a nervous chuckle. “Why so curious, love?” he asked, placing the empty shot glass back on the counter between them.

She bit her lip and shrugged, reaching for the bottle of tequila and gasping when his hand suddenly covered hers.

“Enough of that, love.”

Emma looked up at the endearment, throat clenching at the fire behind his eyes.

“You call all the girls ‘love,’ love?” she challenged in a far more menacing tone than she intended.

She quirked her eyebrow and reveled in the way his mouth fell open in shock. Emma tore her hand away from his and reached for the bottle again, grabbing the shot glass with her other hand and pouring a very generous shot.

“By the way, buddy,” she added, “nobody tells me what to do but me.”

And very spitefully, Emma took the shot in one go, not even wincing, and setting the glass on the counter with a louder clink.

When she looked up, Killian was leaning back against the sink again with his arms crossed and an almost challenging look on his face before it melted into a sweet smile.

“Point taken,” he said.

“So. Are you ever going to answer my question?”

“What question was that, love?”

Emma narrowed her eyes at him. “Don’t play games with me.” She knew she was drunk, but he was definitely trying to be cute with her.

“But I’m quite fond of games,” he grinned, biting his lip.

Well, shit.

“What’s your favorite?” she asked almost breathlessly, her eyes glazing over ever so slightly.

“Game?” he asked quietly.

Emma shrugged and met his gaze with a small smirk, definitely enjoying this game. “Aye aye, Captain.”

His smile faded and he clenched his jaw, swallowing hard. And just like that the air in the room shifted.

She wanted him. And if she was reading that dark look in his eyes correctly, he wanted her, too.

But she didn’t have time to explore that further, because the moment she took a step to go around the counter he was standing up straight and running a hand through his hair.

“I should probably get back in there,” he said, his accent coming on thicker than before.

It snapped Emma out of her haze. “Oh. Yeah. Right.”

She expected him to say something more, but instead he just gave her an insincere, tight-lipped smile before all but bolting out of the room.

Emma went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on her face to gain her bearings before rejoining everyone in the living room where Regina was loudly demanding more card games and Killian had occupied the lone Lazy Boy.

It might have just been her drunken haze, but Emma could swear Killian did everything in his power to stay away from her the rest of the night.

X X

KILLIAN JONES

He thought once she was out of sight, she would be out of mind. But Killian couldn’t stop seeing Emma Swan’s smile every time he closed his eyes.

He washed down two valiums with a swig of rum so he could have a dreamless sleep that night and stop thinking about her. He told himself the infatuation would fade come morning, that he’d literally sleep it all off.

Killian got up first thing in the morning and jogged the two miles to the gym, lifted weights for 45 minutes, and jogged the two miles back. By the time he was in the shower and the hot water was streaming down his tense back, he felt completely exhausted. He dressed in comfortable sweats and put some laundry away. When he was closing his dresser drawer, one of his picture frames sitting atop the drawer fell over.

Killian sighed and picked it up, but froze when he realized it was the photo of him when he had just graduated the police academy. His older brother, Liam—Killian’s throat felt like it was closing up—had saved all of his money for months to pay for their mother to make the trip to see him graduate, all the way from London. It had been her first time and only time to the States.

Killian’s jaw clenched and he snapped his eyes shut at the sudden onslaught of painful memories. He shook his head after a moment, rolled his shoulders, and opened his eyes, once again fixing his gaze on the picture in front of him.

Killian stood, smiling proudly in his uniform. His mother and brother were both at his side, beaming with pride at his accomplishment and they just looked so...happy. His mother had just gotten the news that her cancer was back, but she insisted she wouldn’t miss Killian’s ‘milestone.’

She’d come all this way to see me, just to...

Killian swallowed those memories down, shook them off, and opened the top drawer of the dresser. He shoved the picture frame underneath some t-shirts in the very back, face down, before slamming it shut. He allowed a couple minutes to recollect himself before taking a deep breath and letting it all roll off his shoulders.

x x

It was a week later that he unexpectedly saw Emma Swan again.

He and David were in the middle of staking out a hotel when Killian decided to grab a couple of coffees. When he spotted her, he quickly backed out of the coffee shop like a bloody coward, but a man and his two kids were walking in. The apologies and slight commotion attracted attention, and before he knew it his eyes were locked on breathtaking green once again.

Killian shook his head at himself, apologizing to the family one last time, before stepping in line behind Emma, who was looking at him with an amused expression. He felt his cheeks blush as he slid his hands into his jean pockets.

“Emma,” he said, enjoying the way her name sounded on his tongue more than he had any right to. “I, uh, didn’t see you there.”

Emma smiled wider and crossed her arms. “Clearly you didn’t see anyone.”

Killian couldn’t help but choke out a laugh as he scratched the spot behind his ear. “Aye, I’m a bit out of sorts when I don’t have my afternoon coffee.”

Emma nodded as the barista called her next. She smiled at Killian and quickly ordered. Killian allowed himself a brief moment to take her in because his memory of this woman did not do her justice in the slightest.

She was wearing those damn tight jeans again, which emphasized a pert bottom he hadn’t had the pleasure of admiring before, and a red leather jacket that hugged her curves so...so bloody well.

Killian heard a throat clearing and looked up to see the man with two kids looking at him with a hard glare and he realized he’d been caught staring. He felt himself blush red for the second time, before he looked down and scratched that stubborn spot behind his ear again.

At the counter with all of the sweeteners and creams, Killian tried not to stand too close to her, or let on the way her sweet perfume was making him dizzy. He blinked quickly as she asked about the case he and David were working on.

“Is it serious? Or, I’m sorry, you can’t discuss ongoing investigations with me,” she said, shaking her head as she poured an obscene amount of sugar in her coffee, followed by a generous amount of Half and Half. He couldn’t help but smile to himself as he looked back down at the coffee he was stirring with a small straw.

“It’s alright, love,” Killian finally said when he realized she was looking up at him expectantly. “It’s a harmless stakeout. Recon really, but nothing to worry about nonetheless.”

He finished fixing David’s coffee the way he liked and poured just a tiny bit of cream in his own before grabbing both coffees.

“Well, duty calls I’m afraid.” He managed a smile despite his nerves—he couldn’t help feeling like he was going to do something else to utterly embarrass himself.

Emma nodded and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Yeah. I’m just on my way to class.”

“Ah, taking the subway?” he found himself asking, even though he should have been walking away.

Emma scrunched her nose with an adorable, self-deprecating smile.

Bloody hell, Jones, adorable?

“Yeah,” she shrugged. “I’m getting used to it. It’s not too far so, baby steps.” She smiled and his heart clenched. “I miss driving my bug though. She’s just parked in the garage.”

She looked so calm and peaceful then, obviously lost in thought, and Killian had no problem taking advantage of the moment to take a mental photograph of her face.

His buzzing phone, of course, had other ideas. He cursed as he set down the coffees and grabbed it from his back pocket.

“David,” he told her, smiling apologetically.

She nodded and forced a small smile. “Yeah. You should go. I’ve gotta get going anyway.” Emma nodded again and clutched her drink closer to her chest, her smile growing smaller but still just as breathtaking. “Tell David ‘hi.’”

“As you wish.”

They stared at each other for a few seconds, neither of them saying anything, before he nodded once more and finally left.

He could still smell her perfume as he sat in the patrol car beside David, sipping his coffee and unable to stop himself from thinking about the one thing he knew he shouldn’t.

X X

EMMA SWAN

“Can I ask you something?” Emma started, keeping her eyes focused on the task at hand, but her attention on her best friend seated beside her.

“Of course,” Mary-Margaret said, her voice distracted as she too was paying more attention to the menu in front of her.

They were both starving.

“Who is Killian dating again?” she asked, keeping her voice level and measured as she struggled to focus on the words and pictures before her. She zeroed in on an entree titled ‘Wacky Wahoo Tacos’ and kept reading it over and over again to try and keep her composure.

But Mary-Margaret wasn’t buying her casual attitude and Emma should have known her friend better.

“Excuse me?” she asked. Emma looked up and saw her friend looking at her with a glint in her eyes and a wide grin on her face.

Emma shook her head and rolled her eyes. “What is that look for?”

“Nothing,” she said, resting her arms on the table and leaning forward. “So. You like Killian.” And just like that, Mary-Margaret was no longer hungry.

“Um, no. I’ve just met a few of your friends this last month, and I’m refreshing my memory on all of them,” she said, taking a sip of her drink. “Regina is married to Robin, right? Do they have any kids, by the way?”

Mary-Margaret shook her head, her grin somehow growing even wider. “No, they don’t have any kids yet. And Killian is not seeing anyone. As far as I know, he’s single. But nice job trying to change the subject.”

“Oh. Okay,” Emma said with a forced casualness that was almost painful. “Thanks for the information.”

“Oh, you’re welcome,” she said, “but we’re not finished talking about this.”

“We are, because David is here,” Emma said, spotting him over her friend’s shoulder and smiling smugly.

Mary-Margaret greeted him happily, and Emma hugged him before he joined them, ordering a tequila shot and a Corona.

“Are we celebrating something, David?” Emma smiled as his drinks arrived.

“Long week,” he sighed, taking the shot first.

“Emma and I were just talking about Killian,” Mary-Margaret said, stirring the straw in her margarita innocently.

Maybe Emma should have also known better than to bring this topic up when her friend was already one drink in.

David’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Why were you talking about Killian?” he asked, taking a swig of beer.

Emma shook her head, trying to mask her frustration at her friend. “We weren’t. I was just asking where you were.”

“David, let’s set them up,” Mary-Margaret said wistfully.

David almost spit out his beer, and it would have been funny if Emma wasn’t so damn mortified.

“What?” David laughed uncomfortably. “You like Killian?” he asked, fixing those baby blues on her.

“No. I don’t,” she said firmly. “I was just wondering if he was seeing someone, if there was someone you guys still hadn’t introduced me to,” she babbled, shrugging like an idiot.

“He’s not, nor do I think he ever will be,” David said seriously, taking a long pull from his drink.

Mary-Margaret laughed, obviously thinking he was joking. She elbowed him gently in the side. “David.”

But Emma’s interest was piqued. She hadn’t missed David’s sudden change in posture.

“Why do you say that?” Emma asked.

“Look, Emma, just don’t get close to Killian...in that way. I just don’t think he’s the kinda guy you wanna date.” She could tell the topic was making David uncomfortable, but Emma couldn’t let it go.

“Okay, Dad,” she said, adding a light laugh to make her tone less cutting. It probably didn’t work so she took a sip of her drink to pretend she was relaxed. “I turn...mmm...29 this year? Practically a grown adult,” she couldn’t help but mock.

David sighed. “I know that, it’s just...I know Killian, okay? You don’t. His relation...sss with women, it’s…” Their eyes met and Emma raised her eyebrows dramatically. “Killian’s life is...complicated and you don’t need that.”

Part of her wanted to argue that the topic was moot, that she didn’t like him that way anyway. But Emma couldn’t deny her feelings, couldn’t push them back down. And—inexplicably—the urge to defend Killian was stronger than anything else.

“That’s a hell of a way to speak about your partner, David,” she couldn’t help but snap. David sighed, a guilt-stricken look crossing his face, but before he could respond Emma pressed on, “And thank you for telling me what I need in my life, but I think that’s unfair. Especially since Killian has been nothing but nice to me and he’s not even here to defend himself.”

“Emma…” David began again.

But that was the moment their server arrived to take their food orders. By the time their orders were taken and their menus collected, the three of them were left in the tension once again.

Emma decided to finish the conversation before it could start again. “I appreciate your concern, David, I do,” she said calmly. “But I don’t think we should talk about it anymore. Let’s just eat.”

Mary-Margaret nodded and raised her drink, looking at David with a soft smile. He nodded and forced a small smile before clinking his beer bottle with their drinks in a silent cheers.

The rest of dinner went by fairly quickly and at the end of the night, when they were saying their goodbyes at the front of the restaurant, Mary-Margaret wrapped Emma in a tight hug and whispered, “Don’t listen to David.”

Emma pulled away to look at her friend, but Mary-Margaret quickly kissed her cheek—loud and smacking—and hopped into the waiting cab before she could say anything.

She snapped out of it when David hugged her goodbye and as she watched the taxi drive away, Emma couldn’t ignore how the red brake lights morphed into blue eyes.

x x

After her British Literature lecture Thursday evening, Emma decided to stop at the supermarket a block from the subway to grab a few things.

She was looking for the cashew ice cream she liked when she saw him. He didn’t notice her, busy looking down at his phone with furrowed eyebrows, but he was clearly frustrated, his other hand clutching a basket.

All in a matter of seconds, a thousand thoughts flew through Emma’s mind.

He was so damn handsome, in his tight black jeans, black boots, and black t-shirt. His hair was slightly disheveled and when he ran his fingers through it, it turned Emma on way more than it should. She couldn’t help but bite her lip.

Quickly, she decided to turn around and just avoid him altogether, but just as she turned away from him, he was calling her name. Emma froze in place and took three deep breaths before slowly turning around.

“Hi,” she smiled, voice trembling slightly.

His crooked grin melted her insides. “Hi. How are you, love?”

She’d heard him refer to other women as ‘love,’ yet when it was directed towards her...it felt like it meant more. The way he looked at her made her feel different; different than when he looked at Regina or Mary-Margaret. It certainly wasn’t a way any other man had ever looked at her —it was as if she was the focal point of the room, and nothing else mattered.

Damn, Swan, stop romanticizing everything.

“I’m good, um, just picking up a few things on the way to the subway,” she said.

Mary-Margaret had mentioned to her in passing that Killian lived in this neighborhood, but the thought had only casually crossed her mind as she entered the store. The fact that she was actually bumping into him here was just…

Does the universe want me to keep finding you? Emma couldn’t help but wonder, tilting her head at Killian.

“It’s late to be taking the subway home,” he suddenly said, eyebrows furrowed.

His smooth, velvet voice startled her slightly, but when his words connected she couldn’t help but smile. “I appreciate your concern, but I’ve done it the last couple months without a problem. Plus,” she looked down at her watch and shook her head, “it’s only six p.m.”

“Aye, but it gets dark, love,” he said, placing his phone in his back pocket and switching his basket to the other hand.

Emma crossed her arms over her chest. This time her smile was less sincere. “I’m a grown woman.”

Killian snorted and shook his head, looking away, and it annoyed and attracted her at the same time.

Infatuation. That’s what this was. She was infatuated with him.

He, of course, was completely oblivious to the war inside Emma’s head and turned to her once again with a rueful smile.

“You know, you don’t have to assume every time somebody expresses concern for you, they’re questioning your ability as a capable adult.”

Emma swallowed, taken aback before she glanced down at his basket and noted the bottle of rum and box of crackers.

“Why, you’re an adventurous eater,” she said with a smug smile, challenging him.

Killian’s eyebrows shot up in surprise—at what, she wasn’t quite sure—and he shifted from one foot to the other with a smile, looking almost amused.

“And you are very adept at changing the subject.”

Emma shrugged and smiled sweetly. “I deal with students all day. I know how to direct a conversation.”

“Aye. And what else do you know how to do, lass?” he asked, tongue darting out to wet his lips.

Her breath caught in her throat and her thighs actually clenched slightly as she stood there.

They had had conversations over the last couple of months and the flirty banter was always there, but Killian always put the brakes on it when Emma would take a step towards him, try to get closer, or instigate any type of physical contact. He even hugged Regina and Mary-Margaret when she was around, but somehow always managed to avoid hugging her without anyone noticing.

But she always noticed. And it always stung. Then she would catch his eye and it was almost as if he couldn’t help but smile at her.

Sometimes she’d push him just to see how far he would let her.

Maybe today, Emma could push a little bit harder.

She cleared her throat. “I guess...you just have to find out.” She rocked back and forth on her heels and chanced a glance at him through her lashes.

Despite her lame response, Killian took a step towards her, raising an eyebrow and looking at her with an expression that was far too salacious for a grocery store.

“Is that right?” he breathed, his voice gruff as his eyes danced across her face. His expression was a mixture of surprise, lust, and—as always—hesitation.

Emma swallowed hard. He was still nowhere near enough yet far too close.

“What are you doing?” she asked, tilting her head to the side. She felt like he was teasing her, trying to call her bluff, trying to push her.

Emma decided she was done playing games. She was attracted to him. For God’s sake, if he asked her to go home with him right now she would.

His sexy smirk was still in place. “I’m not sure what you mean, love.”

But when his tone indicated he knew exactly what he was doing, Emma could no longer control herself. She took a step forward, except she didn’t stop at one. She took the remaining steps, until there was only an inch separating them, and it clearly caught Killian off guard. He didn’t move a muscle, but she heard his breath hitch when their chests barely touched. Even with the layers of clothes between them, it somehow felt like an electric spark coursed through her at his proximity.

“Do you want to take me home?” she found herself asking.

Emma couldn’t believe that for the first time in her life, she finally said exactly what she was thinking in the moment.

“What?” Killian’s question was a mere whisper.

Emma took a small step closer, closing the miniscule space between them and startling him in the process. She was sure anyone who saw them, standing in the middle of the ice cream aisle practically writhing against one another, would assume they were both on something.

But in that moment, as impulsive as it may have been, Emma didn’t care.

“Because,” she breathed, her chest practically heaving. But his was too, “because I’d go home with you...right now...if you asked me to.”

Killian’s eyes searched hers for what felt like an eternity. She felt like she was shaking, maybe she was, but she didn’t back down. The seconds ticked by, and she couldn’t take not knowing what was going through his mind.

“Killian?”

Emma jumped back from him so quickly she was impressed she didn’t hurt herself. She looked up in time to see the owner of the voice—a petite woman in a black mini-dress and lace sandals that tied in patterns to her knees—rounded the corner and spotted him.

“There you are,” she smiled, looking down at the bag of chips she was turning over in her hands as she walked over to him. She had wavy, shiny brown hair and sun-kissed skin. She was gorgeous.

God, Emma felt so stupid and embarrassed. She had felt so victorious when she had thrown herself at this man and all along he had been there with somebody else. And a knockout, at that.

The woman touched Killian’s arm and looked up when she reached them, noticing Emma.

“Oh. Hi,” she said with a smile. “I’m Cecilia.”

“Emma.” She smiled tightly at her and crossed her arms over her chest, wishing this was just a nightmare and she could snap herself out of it.

“Nice to meet you,” Cecilia said before turning to Killian. “I’m tired. Are you ready to go home?”

Emma noticed Killian visibly flinch at her words and that was when she decided to take back control.

“Alright, Killian, it was nice seeing you. Have a good one.”

Okay, it may not have exactly been ‘taking control,’ or her most graceful exit, but Emma didn’t give a damn what she looked like to anyone else in that moment. She didn’t even wait for a response, didn’t buy a single thing, as she hauled ass out of the store. All she wanted was to get the hell away from them.

Emma didn’t look over her shoulder or stop until she was on the subway. She found an empty seat and all but fell down into it.

She had never felt so small.

X X

KILLIAN JONES

Bloody hell.

“Who was that?” Cecilia asked as they stepped out onto the curb outside the grocery store.

“Don’t worry about it,” Killian said.

Cecilia was a nice enough woman he’d known for a couple of years. She was a district attorney who used to work in New York, but was reassigned to Washington D. C. On the rare occasion she was in town, she never hesitated to call Killian.

And Killian usually didn’t hesitate to agree.

But that night, when Cecilia called and asked to take him to dinner, Killian’s response wasn’t enthusiastic as usual. It was mechanical. He needed a distraction from Emma Swan.

The night had gone like it usually did with women; they had a nice dinner, polite conversation. Then she placed her hand on his knee under the table and he put his arm around her shoulders and they both knew how the night was going to end.

Now Killian couldn’t help but curse his suggestion to stop at the market on the way home, but he was completely dry and knew he didn’t want to be caught at home without a bottle of rum. When he saw Emma, he completely forgot Cecilia.

Bloody hell, that sounded terrible, even in his own head.

But Killian had quickly realized that when Emma was in the room, he quickly forgot about everything else.

He hadn’t even bothered calling her name when she fled, only cursing himself for being so damn stupid.

“Listen,” Killian said after a moment, “I’m going to get you a cab, and pay for it, to take you back to your hotel.”

Cecilia scoffed. “What? You’re kidding, right?”

“No. I’m not.”

“Why?”

Killian shook his head and looked down the street for a taxi.

“It’s that woman, isn’t it?” she asked, her tone suddenly curious. “Killian Jones, I never thought I would see the day!”

Killian wasn’t in the mood for the teasing tone in her voice. “Please just let it go.”

Cecilia eyed him for a moment, and just when he thought she would continue, she sighed and nodded. “Alright. See you next time, then,” she said.

But Killian doubted that she would.

He hailed her a cab, but she rejected his offer to pay for it. As he watched the taillights from the taxi driving away, there was only one thing on his mind.

x x

Killian was a coward for not calling her. It had been almost a week since their awkward encounter at the grocery store and though he could have used his resources as a detective to get her telephone number, could have procured it under innocent pretenses from Mary-Margaret, something had stopped him.

It had been a long time since he had felt shame and even longer since someone made him insecure about their opinion of him.

Bloody hell, she probably thinks you’re a right git.

Thankfully, Killian saw an opportunity to forget about Emma Swan for a little while when David told them they were going drinking when their shift ended. As always, fate had other plans because after he and David took their first shot, trouble walked in in the form of Emma Swan.

“Bloody hell,” he couldn’t help but mutter.

But David didn’t notice because a second later his phone buzzed with a text as Mary-Margaret stepped inside behind Emma, looking down at her cell. He took a long pull from his beer as David turned around with a smile to wave them over.

“Hey, you,” he said, standing up to wrap Mary-Margaret in his arms before hugging Emma.

Killian chanced a glance at her, but she was careful to keep her gaze away from him, so he greeted Mary-Margaret with a warm ‘hello.’

“Don’t worry, we’re not crashing your boys’ night,” Mary-Margaret teased him. “Emma and I were just having dinner down the street so we thought we’d pop in and say ‘hi.’

“No, come on. Stay,” David said before Killian could respond. “I’ll miss you if you leave.” David snuggled Mary-Margret and gave her loud, teasing kisses on her cheek as she laughed and tried half-heartedly to fight him off.

Killian looked away, feeling like he was trespassing on a private moment. When he glanced at Emma he found she too was averting her gaze, her focus suddenly on the drinks behind the bar.

“Alright. One drink?” Mary-Margaret asked.

Emma turned to her friend when she realized she was talking to her. She smiled and gave a quick shake of her head. “I’m really tired, I think I’m just going to head out,” she said apologetically.

“No,” Mary-Margaret pleaded. “Just one drink.”

“I can’t,” she said, scrunching her nose at her best friend who, after a moment, finally sighed and relented.

“Fine, but we’re getting you a cab,” Mary-Margaret told her sternly.

As Emma began shaking her head and arguing that she was perfectly capable of taking the subway home, Killian downed the rest of his beer and set the empty bottle on the table before standing up.

“It’s alright. I’d be happy to take the subway with you,” he said before he even realized what the hell he was doing.

Emma’s head whipped around to him with the most confused expression. She began quickly shaking her head at him. “No, that’s fine, I—”

“Believe me, I’d rather be home in bed than be the third wheel with these two,” he said lightly, praying to the gods he didn’t sound as nervous as he felt.

When Emma seemed to realize it was the only way to get her friends off her back, she finally agreed. He didn’t miss the way Mary-Margaret smiled at Emma when she thought he wasn’t looking and he certainly didn’t miss the hard stare David gave him as he followed Emma out of the bar.

x x

They walked for about five minutes in awkward silence.

“You know,” Emma said. “I was leaving the bar to avoid you. Not to have you escort me home.”

He peeked over at her as he slid his hands into his pockets, but her arms were crossed tightly against her chest and she kept her eyes down as she walked. He turned his head away again and clenched his jaw.

“The irony,” he chuckled. When she didn’t respond, he sighed and tried another tactic. Killian stopped and grabbed her arm gently.

Emma stopped, but the glare she threw at him was enough to make him drop her arm like it was lit dynamite.

“Listen, Emma, I just wanted to apologize,” he began.

She turned to face him fully, re-crossing her arms with a shrug. “For what?”

He couldn’t help but scratch behind his ear and avert his gaze. “I just fear...you may have gotten the wrong idea the other night.”

He heard her sigh and shuffle her feet. “Killian, please, can we not do this?”

Killian looked up at her and shook his head. “Emma…”

She took a step back and held her hands up in front of her, as if to keep him away. “I said we’re not doing this, okay? It’s none of my business. Don’t worry. We’re good.”

Emma fixed him with another hard glare and he could do nothing but stare back, swallowing the giant lump in his throat. After a moment, she turned on her heel and began walking away again.

“Besides,” she threw over her shoulder, “you were just grocery shopping with your girlfriend. Picture of complete domesticity if you ask me.”

Killian all but growled as he hurried after her.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” he said desperately, almost bumping into her when she suddenly whirled back around to face him.

“I don’t care!” she yelled, her frustration at the tipping point.

“If you don’t bloody care, then why are you being like this?” he demanded, his own ire rising to the surface along with hers.

“Like what?” she laughed angrily.

“Hostile,” he said.

“Killian, this is as civil as I can be with you!”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means I practically jumped you in the middle of a grocery store—and you flirted back, by the way—and the whole time, you were there with another woman!That’s...that’s skeezy as hell, you know that right?” Her chest was heaving and she looked at him like she was completely at a loss, as if she was truly waiting for him to give her the answer she needed.

“Yes, Emma, I know that,” he said, scrambling for the right things to say. “I just...She doesn’t mean...I mean, she isn’t…” He growled in frustration as she shook her head and looked away. When she wouldn’t meet his gaze, he whispered the only thing he was thinking, “She isn’t you.”

Slowly, so slowly he thought it might be slow-motion, she turned her head to look at him. She searched his eyes for what felt like eternity and he became restless and insecure under her gaze. But he held fast and didn’t look away like he usually did, hoping to show her what he couldn’t quite say with words.

I want you.

Give me a chance.

I’m sorry.

Don’t walk away…

But she was taking too long to say something and he knew that meant something bad. With a heavy sigh and even heavier heart, Killian turned around, shoulders slumped. He slipped his hands in his pockets and wondered where the nearest liquor store was.

He only made it about halfway down the street when he felt a warm hand grab his arm. A second later, Emma Swan was stepping in front of him. But Killian had no time to respond, because she wasted no time wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her lips to his.

And by gods if there was a heaven on Earth for Killian Jones, kissing Emma Swan would be it.

X X

EMMA SWAN

Her place was closer, he said, and they ended up taking a taxi, neither of them wanting to wait the long trip on the subway.

His hand was hot on her thigh the entire way and she rested her head on his shoulder, now and then trailing kisses up his neck to his ear, reveling in the way he shivered at the touch of her lips, disbelieving that she was finally this close to him.

She barely noticed him give the driver some bills, and the ride in the elevator was silent and charged. At her apartment door she fumbled with her keys as he placed kisses on her neck and bare shoulders, his hands gripping her waist, and his hard arousal brushing against her lower back. For a moment she abandoned her keys in the lock as she moaned low and pressed back into him, biting her lip when he groaned as her backside rubbed against his growing erection. Her leggings left very little barrier between her and his jean-clad erection.

She shivered as his hand trailed down her arm, to her hand brushing against her key still dangling in the lock. Somehow while kissing her neck, Killian also managed to effortlessly unlock her front door and push it open. Emma almost stumbled inside, but Killian wrapped his arm around her waist before she could fall.

“Oh,” she sighed, falling back into him and snuggling closer when he resumed his previous ministrations.

Kicking the door shut with his foot and then flipping it locked, Killian whirled Emma around in his arms, lips curving up at her gasp of surprise. He backed her further into the apartment, leaving very little space between their bodies, and making them stumble along the way.

“Where is your bedroom, love?” he whispered against her throat, his tongue darting out to lick a trail up to her chin.

She moaned again and shamelessly rubbed herself against him, enjoying the way her hardening nipples rubbed against his hard chest through the fabric of her shirt.

“Emma,” he sighed against her cheek, sending chills down her spine. “Bedroom…”

Emma barely breathed out, “Down the hall to the left,” before she was squealing, then moaning wantonly as his hands gripped her ass firmly and lifted her off the ground.

She peppered kisses all over his face and neck, clawing at his back as he carried her to her bedroom. She trailed one hand down his arms, loving the way they flexed under her touch, the way his muscles contracted as her fingers brushed over the hair on his forearms.

She let out a huff when he tossed her on the center of her bed. She bounced as he chuckled and crawled in after her, his hands moving up her sides, firmer, more sure than before. Emma couldn’t help but cry out as his hand cupped her breast tightly, massaging it as his mouth found hers once more.

She melted into him almost instantly, her hands sliding up his shoulders and wrapping around him as she opened her mouth to his. Killian moaned as his tongue entered her mouth, dancing with hers. It felt like all of the passion and fire and urge they had been pushing down for each other the last couple of months was being poured into that kiss.

Killian moaned again when her hands fisted through his hair, pulling gently. Her legs fell open and Killian slipped between them easily, grinding his hard cock against her, all pretense of foreplay gone as she rubbed against her wet, cotton-covered center.

But Emma wanted to feel him and she told him so in a breathy moan, and he growled and a moment later they were both naked, his long, thick cock rubbing shamelessly against her sopping wet sex.

Emma cried out as Killian bit her chin gently, his breath coming out in harsh pants as they rubbed against each other wantonly, dragging their lips across neck, shoulder, chest. His hand gripped her thigh and she bit her lip as his tip slipped inside her.

He hissed and pulled back as if he’d been burned, his head falling to her chest as his back rose with heavy breaths.

“Sorry, sorry,” he whispered in a rush before looking up and rolling his hips against her wet center again. His eyes darted down, careful not to accidentally slip into her again. He looked back up at her, his cheeks flushed and his eyes almost completely black. “The things you do to me, love,” he continued in a whisper.

“Killian,” she moaned, both of her hands now gripping his hips, her palms sweaty and making her slip.

“Condom,” be breathed.

“No,” she whined, kissing his scruffy cheek as she lifted her hips to meet his thrusts. “No condom. I’m on the pill. I’m clean. Are you?”

Killian nodded and clenched his jaw again as he stopped his slow thrusts, covering her body with his while careful to keep most of his weight off of her. They both gasped when he covered her fully, because their sexes were pressed together so snug and perfect she never wanted to move.

Killian ran his finger down her cheek, tracing her lips. “Are you sure, Emma?” he whispered.

Emma could only nod, her entire body vibrating. She was sure if she spoke, it would be a shaking mess of words.

“I’ve never,” he swallowed and looked down, his finger falling to her collarbone. Emma furrowed her eyebrows at him and he gazed back up at her. “I’ve never been with a woman without protection before.”

“Me either,” she whispered.

Killian’s eyebrow ticked up and she giggled.

“I mean, I’ve never been with a man without protection before,” she said between breaths of laughter.

Killian smirked and leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers. This time when Killian’s tip slipped inside of her, it was with a moan from both of them as he pushed the rest of the way in.

He was larger than any lover she had ever had, and he filled her to the hilt, his pelvis resting against her ass as she reflexively clenched around him to adjust to his size. His moan of pleasure made her even wetter, and she could feel her arousal dripping down her thighs and she knew she would have to wash her sheets tomorrow.

She would have been embarrassed if it hadn't been for Killian’s whispered, “Fuck,” as he thrust into her experimentally, making her eyes roll back into her head. “You’re so bloody wet,” he said desperately, and then proceeded to fuck the living hell out of her.

Emma would have been worried her headboard banging against the wall would alert her neighbors, but his need turned her on to the point of not caring and she allowed him to play her body like a fucking drum.

X X

KILLIAN JONES

Killian had never spent the night at a woman’s place. Then again, there were a lot of things Killian had done the night before that he never thought he would do.

Kissing during sex.

Going down on a woman more than once. (Because damn he really really liked going down on Emma—the noises she made, the way her thighs gripped his head, and her hands pulled at his hair. Bloody hell.)

Not using a condom….

Having sex more than once in the same night...

They had sex three times before finally succumbing to sleep. Out of habit, Killian awoke just as the sun was rising. He could see the little bit of light peeking in through the blinds and his eyes darted to the floor searching for his pants when Emma stirred his arms.

Killian looked down at her, snuggled close to his chest, body half draped over him and his arm wrapped around her. It was a position he wasn’t very familiar with and he had been initially taken aback when she cuddled him after sex. But then the smell of her hair calmed him, and he found himself staring up at the ceiling as he stroked her arm.

Having her in his arms felt right and she fit against him like a puzzle piece.

Killian swallowed hard and looked up at the ceiling once more. He knew if he had something he cared about, he would do something to muck it up. It was just a matter of time.

X X

EMMA SWAN

Emma woke the following morning with an ache between her thighs and a full heart. There was a small smile on her face and she was so content she didn’t bother opening her eyes as she dragged her hand across the mattress. Her mouth turned down when she felt cold sheets between her fingers and she snapped her eyes open to see the spot beside her was empty.

Emma sat up, the sheet falling to her lap as she looked to the open bathroom. She didn’t hear any noise from the kitchen or living room and when she scanned her bedroom, she saw that the floor was free of their discarded clothing. Her clothes from the night before had been folded neatly and placed on the small loveseat in the corner of her room.

Her heart dropped at the realization that Killian fucked her and left her. All those sweet words the night before had been what? Bullshit lines to get in her pants? Had David been right about him all along?

Suddenly, an anger Emma had never experienced before filled her. The nerve of the man to clean up and then leave without a word. The nerve of him to make her feel wanted, safe, loved....

Emma shook her head and hopped out of bed, ripping her drawers open and pulling out a pair of yoga pants and a t-shirt. She threw her hair up into a ponytail, cursing the entire way to the foyer where she angrily slipped on her shoes. She figured the fifteen-minute walk to and from the coffee shop would calm her down a little bit.

She fumbled with her shoe laces, tears blurring her vision and burning her eyes as she wiped them away angrily and cursed Killian for the fiftieth time. She couldn't believe she had fallen for his charms, let him seduce and bed her like a fool.

She finally tied her shoes and got up with a sigh, rolled her shoulders back, and dipped her hand into the small bowl on the table to grab her keys. Her brows furrowed when they weren’t where she always left them and she cursed again when she realized she must have dropped them sometime last night in her drunken haze. She had been distracted…

Her ire rose again at the reason why and she wrenched the small drawer of the table open and grabbed one of her spare apartment keys, slipping it into her pocket. Emma opened her door, visions of hot chocolate with cinnamon dancing through her mind, but shrieked and jumped back slightly when she was met with the sight of Killian.

He was wearing his wrinkled clothes from the night before and holding a styrofoam cup holder with two hot cups and a small paper bag that smelled heavenly. She then noticed the key in his hand with a very familiar Swan keychain.

“Killian,” she breathed in confusion.

His face broke into an easy smile as he blushed slightly. “Apologies, lass. I hope you don’t mind I borrowed your key to go grab us some breakfast…”

The sentence was barely finished before Emma stepped forward, resting her hand on his shoulder to steady herself as she kissed him. Their lips met a few times, passionate, before she pulled back.

He was smiling, breathless, as he gazed back at her with those shining blue eyes. “I...I noticed you put a lot of sugar in your coffee so...I just grabbed half of the packets in the basket and—”

His nervousness and babbling was so freaking endearing and Emma could only giggle and kiss his lips again.

“Mmm,” he hummed, following her when she pulled back. “I could get used to that.”

Emma smiled wider and bit her lip. “Fine by me.”

x x

Killian ended up spending the rest of the weekend at Emma’s place and it was perpetual bliss. They were in their own little bubble with no one to watch them or question them. They could just be.

“Killian?” she said on Sunday night as they sat on the couch and Killian prepared to leave. He had an early shift the following morning.

He looked down at her. “Aye?”

She snuggled closer to him and his arm tightened around her. “Thank you for staying,” she said.

He smiled slightly and whispered, “Thank you for letting me.”

He left that night after spending about twenty minutes kissing her in the foyer and another fifteen in the doorway as she latched onto him and peppered his face with wet kisses, making him chuckle and hold her closer.

x x

Emma knew not to get her hopes up. She didn’t ask her friends about Killian too much—not wanting to betray his trust—but one of the few things she knew about him from Mary-Margaret and Regina was that he had never had a long-term relationship. She also knew he had walls a mile high and was guarded as hell. He had a past that weighed on him, she could see that, and she didn’t want to push him too much.

Which was why Emma was very pleasantly surprised to see a text from him after her Monday night lecture.

Can I come see you tonight?

Emma felt her entire body light up like a switch and she couldn’t help grinning down at her phone like an idiot as she typed out a response:

My place?

She was surprised when her phone chimed in her hand less than a minute later with his reply:

Just tell me what time and I’ll be there.

x x

It was a little over a week into their...whatever it was...that Emma finally got a chance to talk to Mary-Margaret. She had been busy with a new client on the Upper West Side and hadn’t had a moment to herself for a while.

Minutes into their conversation, Mary-Margaret became excitedly suspicious about Emma’s obvious good mood.

“Oh my god,” Mary-Margaret said on the other line, “are you seeing someone?”

Emma sighed and shook her head as her phone vibrated in her hand. She pulled it away from her ear, smiling when she saw it was a text from Killian.

I can still smell you on my skin.

Her thighs clenched as she heard her friend yelling her name on the other end. Emma brought the phone back to her ear with a shake of her head and an apology.

“So, are you going to tell me who the guy is?” her friend pressed.

“No!” Emma squealed before she could stop herself.

“Aha! So there is a guy!”

“Mary-Margaret, don’t push me…”

Her friend let out an exasperated sigh. “Alright, fine. But you’ll tell me soon?”

Emma scrunched up her nose even though her friend couldn't see. “Maybe.”

“Jesus, you’re the worst,” she laughed. “By the by, we’re having a Friday night dinner this week, finally,” she sighed. “Will you come? You can bring your man friend.”

“That’s very nice of you. I can’t speak for my man friend, but I will be there,” she said, enjoying teasing her friend a little too much.

“I hate you,” Mary-Margaret muttered.

“Should I bring pecan pie?” Emma switched topics.

Sure as fire, it worked.

“You know it,” Mary-Margaret said. “Don’t be late.”

“Would never even dream of it.”

When they hung up, Emma looked down at her phone and felt moisture pool between her legs at the words on the screen:

I can still taste you on my tongue.

x x

Everyone was surprised when Killian showed up to dinner Friday night with a smile on his face and a bottle of wine in his hand. Emma watched as he kissed Mary-Margaret on the cheek and then greeted the others. When his eyes fell to her, she felt a blush creep up her neck.

“So,” Robin said, slapping a hand on Killian’s shoulder playfully. “What made you grace us with your presence this evening?”

“He just came for the free food,” Regina joked with a smirk.

Killian chuckled, looking slightly uncomfortable as his eyes darted back to Emma again. Emma quickly looked away, but winced upon hearing Mary-Margaret’s gasp.

Her friend, she knew, was a clever one.

“What?” David asked her, taking a pull from his beer.

Emma looked to her best friend sheepishly because it didn’t feel right hiding it. Not from Mary-Margaret, not from anyone.

But what if Killian doesn’t feel the same?

“Emma?” Regina prompted.

Emma realized everyone was looking between her and Killian, confused, suspicious, and curious as hell. David, however, looked more furious than anything.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

David’s roar was the last thing Emma heard clearly, because the next few seconds happened very fast. David dropped his beer bottle to the floor and it shattered with a loud crash as he lunged at Killian. Mary-Margaret screamed out as Regina raised her glass of wine and moved away from them.

“David!” Emma tried to scream, but her throat was dry. She cleared it, watching in horror as David pushed Killian roughly against the counter, grabbing him by his leather jacket so hard she was sure it would rip.

Emma took a step forward, but Robin was beside her in an instant, holding her back.

“I told you not her!” David yelled in Killian’s face.

“David,” Mary-Margaret growled, shocking Emma with her hard tone.

“You really have no goddamn respect, do you?” David practically spat in his face.

Emma watched Killian wince and then he clenched his jaw. “Let me go, mate,” he said, his voice low, calm, controlled.

“Why? Why should I listen to you?” David shot back. “You clearly didn’t listen to me when I told you to stay away from Emma!”

“Bloody hell, she’s a grown woman. She can make her own decisions,” Killian growled, shoving David back.

He stumbled against the island before fixing his glare on Killian again. “Not when she doesn’t have all the facts,” he said.

Something in Killian’s face changed, his jaw locked, and he looked at David with the most murderous expression on his face. If she didn’t know any better, Emma would have been afraid of him.

A tense silence filled the room as all six of them stood in the aftermath of the altercation. After what felt like an eternity, Killian righted his jacket and took a step back.

“Killian, what is he talking about?” Emma asked him, her voice shaking.

Killian looked at her and the defeat she saw in his eyes nearly broke her heart. After a moment, he sighed and grabbed her hand, gently pulling her out of the apartment and into the hall.

Emma watched him close the door behind them before he turned to her, his eyes trained down at his shoes. After a moment, he reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a folded piece of paper. When he opened it and took a step towards her, she immediately closed the distance between them, looking down at his hand in confusion.

It was a wrinkled photograph of Killian in a police academy uniform holding a diploma. On one side there was a shorter, older woman with dark hair. She was leaning on Killian as if he was the only thing holding her up. She looked weak, but the pride on her face was evident. To his other side was a man a little taller than Killian, with lighter hair, and familiar blue eyes.

“I’ve kept my past as far down as I could for as long as I can remember,” Killian started, his voice grave and hoarse as he focused on the photo in his hand. “My mother died when she came to visit me in New York for my graduation, because the trip took a toll on her already deteriorating health,” he said. “My brother was a Captain on the Scotland Yard when he was stabbed off duty trying to save a mother and her son from a mugging. He died at the hospital the next day.” Killian looked up at her, his eyes shining with tears. “I told you I lost my family, but I never told you how...how guilty...how empty I feel for being here in their place.”

Emma’s heart broke at his words. “Killian—”

“It sent me down a dark path, Emma,” he said. “Bloody hell, I’ve lost count of how many women I’ve slept with.” She winced at his words, but he continued, “I’m ashamed of the choices I’ve made, but...they were my choices. I was given so many chances, and I fucked them all up.” His face practically crumbled as he looked away. “My brother and mother would be ashamed of me. I’m just like him…” The last part was a whisper and it took a moment for Emma to realize what he meant.

“Your father?”

Killian sniffed, but said nothing.

“You never talk about him,” Emma said quietly.

“Because he was a worthless coward who was given opportunity after opportunity to do better and he never did! Just like me.

“He abandoned my mum when she got sick, turned his back on his children—”

“Killian, you’re nothing like him—”

Killian looked at her again, but the emotion on his face was replaced with a haunting look of fierce determination and resignation.

“Maybe,” he said carefully, “maybe not. But isn’t it better not to find out the hard way?”

His eyes searched hers and when she realized what he was saying, the tiny rope that had been stretched to its limit inside of Emma finally snapped.

“No. No, don’t do this, Killian,” she said, tears burning in her eyes. “You told me this felt different.” She took a step towards him, grabbing his arms.

Killian sighed and backed away from her touch.

“David’s right. You deserve better.

“No,” Emma shook her head. “You're giving up. Don’t give up! If you do then you are like him, Killian! Don’t you see that?”

Killian smiled sadly at her, hollow and devoid of his usual adoration and softness and her broken heart cracked even more. “I am going to miss your fire, lass,” he whispered.

Before Emma could say anything else, he was gone.

X X

KILLIAN JONES

David may have been a bloody asshat, but Killian was damned if he wasn’t absolutely right. He had been so wrapped up these last couple of weeks with Emma that he completely ignored the truth that he wasn’t good for her. She deserved better.

He was only five minutes away from David and Mary-Margaret’s when he heard his name being called. With a clenched jaw and tense shoulders, Killian stopped and slowly turned around.

David approached him hesitantly, a guarded expression on his face as he eyes darted across Killian’s face.

“Come to yell at me some more, mate?” Kilian couldn’t help but sass.

“No,” David sighed.

“Ahh, so just came to finish what you started in your flat? Go on then,” he challenged, stepping forward and holding his jacket open.

“That’s not...Look, I’m sorry things escalated back there…”

“Escalated?” Killian let his jacket go and chuckled darkly. “You bloody accosted me in a room full of our friends.”

“You’re dating one of my best friends after I specifically asked you not to,” David gritted through his teeth, fists clenching at his side.

“Aye, and I apologize for not listening you.” David looked at him surprised, but Killian continued, “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you, because you’re my friend and my partner and I respect you.” He paused, shaking his head with a sigh. “But I won’t bloody apologize for…” Killian’s throat closed up as David looked away, slightly uncomfortable. Killian gathered his bearings with an unsteady breath. “I won’t apologize for being with her. Because it’s been the best two weeks of my bloody life.” Another pause. David opened his mouth, but Killian pressed on, “And I know I don’t deserve her. You’re right. I’m a drunk, and I haven't dealt with my past and I don't even know how to be in a goddamn...relationship.” His mouth curved around the unfamiliar word.

Killian looked down, feeling his chest tightening again at the thought of Emma and him, wrapped under the sheets on her bed, nothing between them.

He shook the memories away with another sigh before meeting his partner’s gaze head on. “And you’re right,” he repeated. “I’m no good for her. So...I’m stepping back. I’m bowing out. You don’t have to worry about me. I won’t bother her again.”

X X

EMMA SWAN

“Who do you think you are, David? Just who the fuck do you think you are?” Emma aimed a throw pillow at David’s head as soon as he walked back into the apartment.

“Where’s Killian?” Mary-Margaret asked worriedly, running up to him.

“He’s...gone,” David said. “He went home.”

Emma shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks. “You son of a bitch.” She lunged for him, but Regina caught her around the waist.

“Easy, tiger,” Regina said. “You could do some real damage to him.”

Emma tried to shake her off, but Regina only let her go when she was sure it was safe.

“Why would you do that?” Emma demanded, eyes trained on David. “How could you...say those things to him?”

“Emma, you don’t know Killian….”

“Stop saying that!” Emma interrupted him. “You don’t know Killian.”

David took a step towards her, index finger pressed to his chest. “I’ve been his partner for almost ten years!”

“So what? Obviously you don’t know his heart!” Emma yelled back. “If you did, you’d see him for the man he is: kind, compassionate...loving…” her words trailed off, voice shaking, and she had to avert her gaze from the sympathetic look Robin threw her way. “And for the first time,” Emma continued, not caring that her voice was shaking and she could barely breathe, “and for the first time, I felt like I found someone who...I thought maybe I....”

“Emma,” David started gently, taking another step towards her.

Emma held her hands up and took a step back. “No!” She looked up at him, feeling completely broken and lost. “You don’t know what he meant to me, do you?” she asked him, the accusatory tone and utter hurt in her voice making him look away in shame.

“Emma,” Mary-Margaret stepped towards her, but Emma shook her head and walked to the front door, her friend hurrying after her. “Emma, please wait.” She grabbed her arm and Emma pulled it away angrily.

She turned to face her friend, tears in her eyes and falling freely down her face. “I have to go,” was all she could bear to say.

X X

KILLIAN JONES

Three days. He wondered how something he hadn’t even had a couple of weeks ago could hurt so bad now that it was gone.

But he had grown accustomed to waking up next to Emma Swan. In a matter of months, he had broken all of his rules. He had fallen for a woman and he’d broken her heart, and his own, in the process.

Killian’s throat was dry when he walked into his flat Monday night. He’d called in sick to work, something he had never done before, and ignored his friends’ calls the entire weekend. The only face he wanted to see lighting up on his screen never did, nor did he really expect it to.

He was holding a bottle of rum in a paper bag, his fourth in three days. He felt shame, of course, each time he made the purchase. But by the fourth or fifth swig, he was happily content. By the tenth and eleventh, he was downright blitzed, and three-quarters of the way through the bottle, everything was blissfully dark.

It wasn't until Thursday night—Gold was pissed at him for calling out the entire week, but Killian had sick days to spare so he really didn’t give a damn—that his routine for the week was disrupted.

He was at his grocery store, in need of a fresh bottle of rum, when his phone phone buzzed with an incoming call. He barely glanced at the screen before answering gruffly:

“Hello?”

Silence.

“Hello?” Killian repeated, the frustration more evident in his voice.

When he was once again met with silence, what little patience Killian had left snapped.

“Listen, you bloody wanker, whoever the fuck you are—”

“Killian,” a voice on the other end finally said. “It’s me.”

The pinch between Killian’s brows deepened at the low, male voice with a familiar accent.

“Who the bloody hell is this?’” Killian demanded.

There was a deep sigh. Then, “It’s your father, Killian.”

Killian clenched the phone so hard in his hand, he was worried for a moment it might shatter in his grip.

Brennan Jones contacted him every few years under the guise of wanting to ‘see his only living child.’ But it always ended up being because he needed money to pay off his gambling debts or buy some more booze.

Maybe it was the residual rum in his system, or maybe it was the fact that the only thing that had ever really made any bit of sense to him had been ripped away.

Whatever it was, Brennan Jones had sure picked the wrong time to call.

“Father?” Killian repeated incredulously. “A father doesn’t abandon his wife and kids to be with his mistress. He doesn’t bleed his family dry of every cent they have and then come back when he owes his goons a couple thousand pounds.”

“Boy, who in the hell do you think you are?”

“I’m not your boy,” Killian growled.

His father laughed on the other end. “You are, like it or not. The apple doesn’t far fall from the tree. Remember that, lad. I’m all you’ve got.”

“You know what I remember?” Killian shot back, “I remember Mum crying herself to sleep every night. I remember not having new shoes for school and Liam having to teach me how to play baseball and how to talk to girls because I didn’t have a bloody father to do that.

“And you know what?” Killian laughed, almost hysterical. “Because of you, I’ve spent most of my life running away from people who care about me. Liam...Mum…” He choked back the tears threatening to escape.

And in that moment, he felt his tiny, dark world shake.

Maybe Killian didn’t have to continue down this self-fulfilling prophecy, because in that moment he realized if he did, he would end up just like the man on the other end of the phone: down and out and all alone.

But Killian had someone who truly cared for him. And the difference he realized, between him and his father, was that Killian was going to fight for what he wanted.

“I’m nothing like you,” Killian finally said. “I just want you to know that. And when I find something...worth fighting for...I’m not going to be a coward like you. I’m going to fight for it with every fiber of my being.

“You didn’t fight,” Killian growled. “So you deserve what you get.”

x x

Killian dumped the rest of the liquor in his apartment down the drain that night and Friday morning he was back at work.

His first order of business was finalizing a restraining order against Brennan Jones. The next was ordering a dozen yellow daisies from the florist down the street. Killian ignored his colleagues’ curious expressions when the delivery man brought the bright bouquet and he let Gold know he would be back.

Killian had played this over and over in his mind, but nothing could have prepared him for the wretched nervousness he felt in his stomach standing outside Emma’s apartment holding the flowers in his hand.

It took him almost ten minutes to work up the nerve to knock, but before his fist connected the door flew open. When his eyes met the bright green before him, Killian just about forgot everything he was going to say.

“What are you doing here?” Emma breathed.

“I uh…” He reached up and scratched behind his ear, hands sweating and flowers practically slipping from his grasp. “I just wanted to, um…”

He jumped when one of her neighbors slammed their apartment door shut.

“You’re so tense,” she said.

The concern in her voice—the fact that she was still concerned for him even after everything they'd been through—tugged at something deep in his gut and strengthened his resolve.

“I’m just...getting really tired of not waking up next to you,” he said. Emma’s mouth opened in a silent gasp as he continued, “And I know that I’ve made a lot of mistakes...but I’m not going to allow letting you go without a fight to be one of them.”

Emma’s eyes softened.

“I know I’m not worthy of your love—” She opened her mouth to argue, “but you deserve to be loved...and cherished...and reminded everyday how bloody brilliant you are—” Emma couldn't help but look down with a blush, but he tilted her chin up gently— “And I don’t think anyone else can love you...the way I can. If you’ll let me. If you...want me…”

Killian barely finished his sentence before Emma lunged forward and pressed her lips to his. The kiss remained chaste and ended far too quickly.

Killian rested his forehead against hers and smiled down at her.

“You came back,” she whispered.

“Aye.”

“Why?”

“Don’t you know, Emma?” She looked up at him curiously. “It's you. You’re the one I’ve been waiting for.”

Emma couldn’t stop smiling, even as Killian kissed her once again.

X X

E N D

#cslb #cslb fic #cslb 2018 #captain swan #captain swan fanfiction #along came you #writemyanchor

[lucky-clover-gazette]

season 4 first watch impressions

under the cut are my thoughts and my new overall series episode ranking (spoilers)

ep1 - uss callister

- by far my favorite of the season

- a perfect blend of comedy and tragedy 

- i would have loved this as a full movie

- honestly nanette is amazing, like she owns her smarts and sexuality and never gives up i love her

- male coder: “it won’t work, i’ve already tried”

nanette: “well i haven’t” HELL YEAH

- i honestly loved all the ‘crew’ characters, even the gym rat boss

- i especially enjoyed the speech from the boss to robert, where he’s like ‘i acknowledge that i was an ass, but dude, YOU PUSHED MY SON OUT AN AIRLOCK’

- also the fuckin casual dialogue between the monster and bad guy and the crew

- OHHH BOY AND THE FACT THAT ROBERT’S GONNA ROT TO DEATH IN HIS APARTMENT BECAUSE HE PUT ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ ON HIS APARTMENT DOOR, HELL YEAH

- ‘oh my fuck’ 

- 10/10, watch it now

ep2 - arkangel

- preface: the kid playing young owen teague and his family were actually really close with my family when he and my little sister were kids. it was goddamn surreal to see that lil guy talking about porn when i remember him being, like, eight. but nice going nick, keep kicking ass lil dude

- okay so this episode was... conflicting 

- the opener made sense, but in some ways i thought it was TOO obvious and indicative of the episode’s message and tone. i can’t help but wonder if it would have been better just starting like five minutes in

- her father looked like counselor healy from orange is the new black, so that was distracting

- okay jesus christ lady, i get that losing your kid is scary, but implanting her with ‘optional’ optic spying and censoring software is such a massive violation of her privacy. like, it’s one thing when she’s tiny, but how the hell are you going to feel okay with yourself as a parent when she’s an adolescent? 

- the blocking especially pissed me off. that’s so fucking dangerous. either this woman is just very stupid, or very desperate

- at least the narrative established that it kind of was the latter. when her father gets sick, the mother has to care both for both her father and her child. that’s a lot. but still not an excuse for such mental violation of a quickly-growing human being

- young edgelord and sara are fucking adorable

- sara’s self-harm and rage issues are not, however,, and i’m glad that her mother took her head out of her ass and ditched the tablet

- is it just me or is fifteen-year-old sara kind of an idiot? like i get it she’s grunge and artsy, and i loved her giving a treat to the dog, but she seems to be almost hanging out with owen teague because he deals, and not despite it. like i get that i’m supposed to buy that their romance has kind of a subtext of him ‘teaching’ her about things, but like the underage sex and coke are kinda yikes. i feel like he definitely should have had more restraint, and although what the mother does is royally fucked, he and sara are also both to blame

- all right, so the smoothie motif. what a great narrative tool. the miscarriage pill was the most clever part of the episode. sara’s reaction was very well-acted, and the standoff between her and her mother was intense as hell

- i liked that sara’s rage issues remained into adolescence. i was glad that the tablet got wreckt, but i can’t help but wonder if it would have been more effective to have her rage-smash it prior to her mother coming come, leaving the pieces for her to find. the actual beating up of the mother with the tablet seemed to literal, too much sinking in the message. there were moments in crocodile and hang the dj that were the same way. 

- the ending, with sara hitchhiking in some stranger’s truck, was very smart. the ambiguity of a young girl, on her own, hopping in some stranger’s vehicle, is powerful without much explanation. any parent would be horrified by this; that’s what i don’t think we actually needed to see the mother screaming sara’s name and bleeding to understand the horror of losing a child to the unknown

- this one definitely gives me the most complicated feelings of the season; on one hand, it had a lot of great devices going for it. on the other hand, it was over-written and at times trying too hard to be ‘black mirror.’ the grey morality and ambiguous ending reminded me of a literary short story, which i love in my TV.

- 7/10, watch it if you liked most black mirror episodes that weren’t san junipero

ep3 - crocodile

- ah yes, the ‘i watch black mirror to be fuckin ashamed of humanity’ episode

- idk man, i liked it. it was bleak, and fucked up, but i’m all about that downward spiral. i liked that the story kind of began in three different places and then tied together. just as i had with ‘hated in the nation,’ i love police procedural stuff

- also damn, it was freaky as hell to see the straight-laced white blonde soccer-mom type being a despicable murdering sociopath!!! like, gotta go kill an entire family of POC, including a goddamn INFANT, and then see my kid’s show, that’s great. i was so happy when she got what she deserved. 

- all right, so i had one MAJOR PROBLEM with this episode: why the fuck did they make the son blind? the guinea pig twist was so GOOD, and mia fuckin killed a BABY, they didn’t need to further modify that!!! this is another example of black mirror doing just a tad more than it needs to make the audience feel horrible. 

- okay black mirror, we get it, that song is your thing, but can you maybe slide it in as a less glaring easter egg? 

- 8/10, but only if you’re into dark shit and bad endings

ep4 - hang the dj

- not nearly gay enough

- seriously, the entire episode i was unable to focus on the main characters because i kept looking around this Tinder-esque 20′s dating paradise and saw ZERO GAY OR LESBIAN COUPLES. i’m so surprised by this, especially after ‘san junipero.’ at first i was like, maybe this is like society’s way of encouraging procreation because of population decline, but that wasn’t the twist at all. no reason for nearly everyone to be hetero

- THAT BEING SAID, i see you. bi amy. even before the girl partner, i was aware that she used ‘they/them’ pronouns when referring to hypothetical partners. i just wish we could have seen more gay couples in the background (for example, at the choosing ceremony thing, it coulda been two dudes of something)

- uh okay, so everyone loved this episode, and it was okay. some of the banter and jokes were funny and relatable, but honestly, this wasn’t *that* good. the plot wasn’t super original (reminded me a lot of ep1 of hulu’s ‘dimension 404′) and the execution was kind of suuuuuuper basic. like, black suited Enforcers with tasers? a massive matrix wall? the whole thing seemed so predictable and just... basic as hell. 

- but shit man, amy was cool. loved that character in a vacuum. 

- honestly if someone could explain the reasons for loving this episode, i’d like to hear them. because i just don’t get it, man. maybe it’s because i’m gay, or young, or single, or unexperienced... but i just wasn’t very impressed

- 6/10, not even fuckin close to ‘san junipero’ lmao 

ep5 - metalhead

- black and white seemed sort of pretentious, not gonna lie. i think i would have preferred the dirty palette of ‘white bear’ post-apocalypse

- i am all for these female protagonists this season. hell yeah

- soo those corpses in the bed were heavy, but i actually kind of wish we got to see more of that? like, the remains of humanity after the dogs attacked? also, more small explanations for the dogs’ attack would have been interesting

- loved the chase and fight scenes. i can see how they’d be boring, but the moments of conflict between man v. machine were fucking awesome

- K N I F E  D O G

- anyone else get serious farenheit 451 vibes?

- the teddy bear thing was dumb. i don’t think we needed to see what was inside the warehouse. yet another time black mirror threw in just a little more than we needed

- okay so belle keeps alluding to the fact that she has safe family members out there somewhere, so am i to believe that there is some place where humans are safe from dogs? if so, why the actual fuck did she leave? i can’t believe it was just because of fuckin teddy bears

- alllllll the david lynch vibes

- 7/10, but you gotta actually pay attention to the visual details to get the best parts

ep6 - black museum

- BOOOOYYYYYYY! this entire episode i waited for the fuckin shoe to drop and then SHE! DID! THAT!

- the amount of callbacks to previous episodes was,, nice,, but also it was kind of annoying??? and unnecessary? 

- the museum owner was reaaaaaalllly annoying, which is think was intentional. what a fuckin sleaze. in comparison, i thought that jon hamm in ‘white christmas’ was still a somewhat charismatic narrator, but this dude was just yikes

- so, the first story was... kind of a lazy reach? idk, it just felt kinda like a parody of black mirror itself. i get the entire ‘mad science’ vibe they were trying to evoke, but as opposed to the next story, this one had very little to say about human nature. black mirror works its best when it tells stories that use technology as a way to analyze humanity; this one really didn’t (we all already know we’ve got weird kinks)

- the second story was better, but, like, SUPER heartbreaking. poor carrie. i don’t think her husband should have done The Thing at all, honestly, I don’t believe that he couldn’t have seen what happened next coming. it’s like the arkangel mom again; either these characters are just SUPER present-oriented, or just fuckin dumb

- the most tragic moment in this season was ‘monkey needs a hug.’ i felt nauseous 

- okay, now for THE TWIST! the accent drop was a great touch, and i loved that she was poisoning him the entire time. also fuck white men and supremacists, and fuck the museum dude for enabling them. 

- the ending was great. i liked that her mom was chillin with her. the building blowing up was very tarantino. loved her a lot

- 8.5/10, boring in the beginning but the end is worth it 

and now.. 

BLACK MIRROR EPISODES RANKED (AS OF SEASON 4)

1. U.S.S. Callister

2. Nosedive

3. Hated in the Nation

4. San Junipero

5. Fifteen Million Merits

6. Be Right Back

7. White Bear

8. White Christmas

9. Black Museum

10. Crocodile

11. Arkangel

12. Metalhead

13. Hang the DJ

14. Playtest

15. The Entire History of You

16. Men Against Fire

17. Shut Up and Dance

18. The National Anthem

19. The Waldo Moment

#black mirror #black mirror s4 #sam reviews #uss callister #arkangel #crocodile #hang the dj #metalhead #black museum #bm

[artificialqueens]

Love me tender - Part Two (Shalaska/Pearlet), by Lavish

A/N: The long overdue second chapter. I am extremely sorry this took so long. Thank you to everyone who filled my askbox with questions about this fic even after so long. I love each and every one of you. Xo, Lavish.

Coming home was always a drag for Alaska. She never really left her office downtown before 7 pm, and still had a long drive back to the suburbs. Tom had talked her into living in Manhattan Beach, explicitly because it would be best to raise their kids in a safe, children-appropriate area. Young and in love, Alaska had accepted without even thinking twice. Now, stuck in traffic on a Friday night, with no kids, and wondering what take out service to call, it didn’t feel so great to have splurged in such a big house far away from her job. Nevertheless, she never really made the effort to escape Manhattan Beach. Alaska knew to select which battles to fight. Lately, she had been choosing much more than she’d like. She looked out of the window, analyzing the people on the sidewalks to pass the time. Since it was just the beginning of the weekend, the streets were packed. A roaring sound of chatter and laughter made its way inside the car from the people sat outside bars, already too drunk to care for politeness or tone. Alaska couldn’t help but smile. Not long ago, she was one of them. At this moment, she couldn’t really put a finger on the last time she went out. The red light turned green, and gripping the wheel with both of her hands, Alaska followed ahead, tired of feeling shitty about herself. She was a grown woman, who was able to not only fix her life but others as well. That was the main reason she’d gone to Law School in the first place. She was a helper, a giver, never a taker. Alaska always took better care of others than of herself. She allowed her mind run back to the meeting earlier, marveling in the story of the three individuals. She thought of Violet, still a young girl, having to make the tough choice of raising her baby or giving up a life she created. She thought of Matt, poor Matt, who seemed so scared to let their kid go to other hands, but also very afraid of losing Violet to his selfishness. Lastly, Alaska thought of Sharon, the beautiful nurse. Her belly fluttered with familiar butterflies while she reminisced in the memory of her voice and the warm touch of her hands. It was hard to concentrate on traffic. Alaska decided to call the one person she knew who was an all time fool and yet lovable. She selected the phone icon on her car screen and pressed the first contact. “Go for Cory.” His voice resonated through the speaker. The sound of it made her body relax, and Alaska felt the muscles of her shoulders start to detangle. “Hey, dork.” “Oh, my! Is this… is this Alaska? I once heard a tale about this mystical creature but I never knew one could get in touch with aliens so easily! How’s planet Glamtron?” Her brother joked in false awe, and she sensed no traces of resent in his speech. True, it’d been a while since they talked, but Cory made her feel closer to him everytime they spoke. A smile spread across her face and Alaska heard herself cackling, the sound resonating in the car. “How have you been, sis?” “Same old. I’m doing ok, I actually picked up a great case today.” She stopped at another red light and took her time watching the passers by. “There’s this teen couple, the girl is 6 months pregnant… She wants to give the baby up but the father is just not taking it. He won’t tell her tho, the poor thing is scared. And guess who’s adopting? Oh yes, the most beautiful nurse who ever lived.” “Ooooh, somebody’s got the hots for the nurse! Guess she’ll be….. licking your wounds very soon, what up?” Alaska scoffed and tried to contain a fit of laughter. She heard Cory’s snorting through the line. “You are so gross, oh my God. But no, she will not be licking anything, as I am a married lady and she’s a mom to be, so suck it.” “I know who you want to su…” “THAT’S ENOUGH FOR THIS CONVERSATION. I hope you don’t kiss our mom with that mouth, ugh.” She pressed on the accelerator, watching the parade of cars ahead finally start to move. Thankfully, she was halfway through the journey already. “Yeah, right. But really, Lask, stay cool. Also, send me a picture of her next time you see her. I would like to know what this lady looks like if she’s messing with your head like that.” “Maybe in the next life.” She took a left, breathing in deeply before talking again. “Hey, we should get lunch sometime. Wanna join me tomorrow?” “Hamburger Mary’s?” “Deal. You’re paying. Byeee!” She hung up before he could protest, a smile still accompanying her on the travel home. ———————————————————————————– Alaska arrived to an empty, dark house. There were traces of her husband’s entrance. His suit jacket was carefully folded on their L shaped couch, a cup of scotch half full sat on the coffee table, and his briefcase stood at a perfect 90º angle by the wall. It was all too meticulous like it was all a video game scenario. Nothing smelled like him, nothing seemed like he had got in with the intents to stay. By the door frame, a note. “Went to tennis practice with the guys. Don’t wait up. Love, T.” Alaska took a deep breath, expecting anger or sadness to wash over her. That something would cross her mind and ignite a more natural feeling than the utter relief she felt to know he wasn’t home. She sat down, defeated, kicking off her high heels. What was happening? Not too long ago she knew she would’ve been pissed. She would’ve called, asked him why he wasn’t home, she’d chase him down, even offer to tag along and play a match. But when you chase after someone for too long, the enchantment just fades away. You get worn out, you look for ways not to step on their toes because you simply don’t bother. Instead, all the anger flutters when you’re together, when you have to stand someone’s presence and the quirks you thought you’d learned to love. She motioned towards the kitchen and checked the clock for the first time since she’d entered. 9:23. She figured it was ok to have dinner, since Tom wouldn’t be back so soon. The club he played only closed at 11, and he was never one to leave early or leave a game unfinished. She picked out carrots, peas, cheese and two eggs, opting for an omelet. She found some left overs from the night before, and decided to leave them for when he arrived. Alaska went back to her pondering while the skillet heated, the only thing hot enough in the sterile, cold house she never called home anymore. Alaska found herself escaping any contact to avoid conflict. She didn’t even manage guilt to surface. She felt nothing about her relationship, save for some neediness here and there. Hot tears spiked her eyes, frustration the only thing to actually take over. Her marriage fell apart and she didn’t bother. Salty tears insisted on jumping off her eyes, making her dinner even more depressing. Her food was tasteless, despite her best efforts to season it. She felt pathetic, eating alone with most of the lights out. Still with a heavy stream cascading down her cheeks, she collected her belongings and headed upstairs to her bedroom. Not even her bed, decorated with cream and white pillows and bedding, looked that inviting. She opted to fill her tub with warm water and rose-smelling bubbles. Watching the steam rising from the water finally made soothed her, and the warmth of the room decorated her cheeks with a pink flush. She cut the stream of tears, wiping the rest of them before letting down her hair from the low bun she’d made. The strands brushed her shoulders, tickling the soft skin of her neck. It had always been her favorite thing to pamper herself. Shimmying out of her trousers and finally getting rid of her collared shirt, Alaska felt as if she was peeling off worries of her body. She could launder them later - both worries and clothes. For now, she just wanted to enjoy a calm bubble bath. After stripping off her underwear, she climbed into the hot water. The knots of her muscles untangled instantly, and her heartbeat finally slowed down. She didn’t know how long it’d been since it’d been racing. She reached a long arm out, extending it towards her phone. There was one call from Tom and 3 messages from an unknown number. She decided to call her husband first. She was sent to voicemail. “Hey, it’s me. I’m home, just taking a bath. There’s dinner in the fridge. I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?” She softened her voice, remembering the end of his note. “Love you too.” She hung up fast, as if she was afraid of her own words. Again, pathetic. Cursing under her breath, she unlocked her device and read the messages. [20:58] Hi, Alaska, this is Sharon! We met earlier today. Listen, I was wondering if we could set up a meeting before Friday, there are some things I would like to discuss with you on the side. Beer’s on me! Xx [21:02] Also I may or may not have willingly downloaded ‘Love Me Tender’ and a bunch of other Elvis tunes and put them in a pen drive for you, so when you come around at the hospital they’ll be our jams. [21:02] Ok, now I’m done. Let me know when our little meeting will go down! Alaska nearly dropped her phone. Her eyes were wider than an apple pie, and a surprised smile occupied the place her frown had been moments ago. She typed in an answer, scared her runny, wet fingers may let her phone slip. [21:49] I can’t believe you! Going as far as actually occupying disk memory in your computer with these songs can only mean one thing… [21:49] You either really really like ancient songs OR (which is highly more likely) you are determined to kiss my ass continuously until you get guard on this child lol kudos on the effort tho!! And yes, we shall meet again. I’ll be downtown again tomorrow to have lunch w my brother, would you like to meet me after? Alaska hit send before she could regret it. She knew it’d be odd in the least to meet a client during the weekend, but then again, it was Sharon who proposed it in the first place. Granted, they did have to discuss matters on the child and make sure she was ready to welcome a baby into her home and her life, so there had a lot of explaining and planning to do. Alaska clung to that idea, repeating to herself she was not taking her newest client on a date. Her ethic manners screamed at her heart, condemning how fast it beat waiting for an answer. She decided to focus on her bath and relax, putting away her phone to clear off her head. Sometimes, she felt it necessary to just be out of thoughts, feelings and memory. She appreciated the numbness and oblivion of moments like these. Alaska sunk deeper inside her tub, allowing the water to cover her pale body from head to toe. She stayed down, in her nest of warmth, until her lungs begged for breath. She lost track of time, distracting herself with the bubbles dancing around her toes. Only when the water turned cold and her fingers looked like raisings she stepped off. Alaska took her time drying off her skin, covering every inch she could reach with lotion, and blow-drying her blonde locks. Finally, she took her phone and wrapped herself in a robe, tucking herself into her bed. There were 6 texts and 1 missed call from Sharon. Alaska smiled before she even opened them up. [21:50] Why I do like them very much alaska! I’ll tell you all abt my fascinating taste in music tomorrow then, text me where we’ll meet [21:50] Also yes there will be a lot of kissing alright if its up to me [21:55] fuck why did I say that I don’t know where it came from [21:55] I thought you’d find it funny oh my god IM SORRY [21:55] can you believe I’m a nurse being this dumb [21:55] UGHHHHHHHHHHHH IM SORRY Alaska was a little ball of laughter, shaking with the motion of her wheezing. Sharon’s slight panic reminded her of an excited puppy who got so happy and agitated they end up tripping on their own paws. It was adorable and just made Alaska want to see her more. She entered her response quickly, feeling her body warm inside and out, and her lids heavy. [22:17] chill girl! I was just taking a bath, but its totally okay She thought about what to say next. Alaska felt confused, like she was betraying her own sense of dignity by feeling this attracted and lured by another woman while she was still married. But what was her marriage anyways, besides a contract bonding two people who were nothing alike? She felt like she’d just had a taste of what fun felt like, and she wanted more. She wanted the opportunity to know different people and try new things. Alaska wanted to chase this new feeling and courage, even if it led nowhere, or if it wouldn’t be with Sharon. She just needed the opportunity and she’d been granted with one, it was only up to her what to do next. [22:18] I’ll hold you to those promises!! See you tmrrw xo The feeling of accomplishment that overcame her just from those daring words was enough to bring a calm, well slept night, one she hadn’t had in forever. Just before she was taken by Orpheus and went into the peacefulness of slumber, she saw very clearly the colorful imagery her subconscious had fabricated. She distinguished two frames, both tall and slender, with soft curves on their hips and torso. Two women. One of them had hair of gold, a reflective shine only blondes exhibit. The other one had rosy lips and hair of ebony. They were happy, she could tell. There was something else, a third form she couldn’t identify at first. It was small and heavy – it had to be held with both arms. Upon further looking, shapes formed. A pair of shining, chocolate brown eyes. Very little hair framing rosy cheeks, and a tiny, round mouth. It seemed fragile and small, and now it was easy to decipher. The blonde lady held a perfect baby in her arms.

#please remember your tags! #lavish #shalaska #pearlet #sharon needles #alaska thunderfuck #pearl liaison #violet chachki #submission #love me tender #rpdr fanfiction #lesbian au #m/f au