#I now have 2 s/i that are christian despite me never having even read the bible 😭

[rose-tinted-ships]

i'm not even religious i'm not exactly sure how all my interests end up relating/focusing on christianity

#🥀: confessions #I now have 2 s/i that are christian despite me never having even read the bible 😭

[animechristi]

Tower of God: Symptoms of Loneliness

I place this at the service of Christ by the hands of His mother.

“It is not good that the man should be alone” - Genesis 2:18

First, disclaimers:

1.)    As of 2022, Tower of God is an unfinished webcomic written by S.I.U., so I cannot comment on the series as a finished whole.

2.)    That said, I really like ToG. I think the MC is a great example of someone growing in virtue and the author does a great job at creating a diverse cast of characters. If the art style turns you away, I suggest you hold out since it gets way better over time. Alternatively, you can watch the anime which is a good adaptation with a great OST by Kevin Penkin.

3.)    I want to talk about loneliness, but that is a wide category, so this will have to be limited to a specific type as I’ll clarify later on.

Second, here’s the plot:

            The premise of ToG is simple. There’s a tower. Climb it. Get to the top, and your dreams will come true. Simple, right? Yes and no. The issue is this: you climb each level - known as a “floor” of the tower - by passing a test, a test where there is always a winner and loser. Thus, it very quickly becomes every man for himself.

Our story begins with Bam a young boy who lives in an underground cave. One day a girl named Rachel stumbles across this cave, and the two becomes friends. But Rachel wants to climb The Tower and tells Bam to forget about her. Our infatuated boy is not to be put down and so quickly chases her up the tower.

Third, what I want to talk about:

          My focus this article is a conversation between Bam and Endorsi a girl who is living only for herself. Endorsi has no problem stepping over people to get what she wants. She grew up in a family that encouraged the strong and neglected the weak. Bam on the other hand, had no one with him in the cave and so treasures anyone he meets.

            At one point, the climbers need to get 10 signatures of “friends” they’ve made. Endorsi has set herself up as an independent climber and so she has no one to reach out to for such a task. At the same time, she finds herself out of money and so Bam buys her lunch each day in order to get her signature. Later she asks Bam why he wasted the money just to get her signature. His answer? “I hate being lonely, so I don’t want others to be lonely either.”

            Endorsi, however, doesn’t immediately say “thank you”. Instead, she tries to defend her isolation. “I like being alone,” she says, “It feels worse to be with someone. They bother you… and make you nervous, so it’s better to be alone.” But Bam turns this argument upside-down. “But doesn’t that also mean… you’re lonely?”

            His point is this: for some of us, the dislike of people is not a cause but a symptom of loneliness. And Bam proves this by his next question: “Is that how you feel with me?” To which Endorsi replies: “No.” The point is that, by realizing there are people she enjoys being with, Endorsi now understands loneliness isn’t being with people we dislike but being away from people we do like. If you’ve ever sought refuge in a friend at an event where you don’t know anyone else, I think you’ll know what I mean.

Okay, so what’s the point Mr. “Christian Commentator”

            Recall the verse at the top of this page. “It is not good that the man should be alone.” As Christians, we believe that from the beginning of our existence we are called to live in a community. This is why family is not just a social but a natural structure. Despite whatever you may read from Hobbes, Locke, or Rousseau, we never find man simply alone in a state of nature.

            We are not meant to be alone – no matter how much we convince ourselves that it’s good for us. Even the early monastic movement was aware of this with solitary hermits being the exception not the norm. You don’t take on the solitary life to be independent but to realize just how dependent you are on God. It makes us grow in humility by knowing we don’t have everything under control.

So now here’s the point.

        To move away is also to move towards. In recognizing that it is not good to be alone, we know what it is we should be looking for: building community with others. Big surprise, a recurring theme in Tower of God is whether it’s better to dominate others or work together with others to obtain your goal.

            As I mentioned at the beginning, loneliness is a broad category, so I’d like to look at a specific type of loneliness, one that makes us dislike people. Just like Endorsi – when there’s no one around us that we’re comfortable with – we can easily turn to ourselves to accomplish everything. Afterall, wouldn’t asking for help be a sign of weakness? And here pay attention to the lies of the devil: wouldn’t they think I’m stupid? Do they only help me to feel good about themselves? ��Wouldn’t I be in their debt or be putting myself under them?

            All of these are ways the devil gets us to close ourselves off to others and put us in a state that is not good for us to be in. To borrow words from Classroom of the Elite, we mistake isolation for independence. We forget that God has said “Behold how good and pleasing it is when brothers dwell together” (Ps 133:1).

So what are we to do?

Talk is nice, but this is pointless if I don’t offer practical advice. I’d like to preface this by saying these aren’t magical cures, but simply things that I’ve reaped much benefit from.

Frequently invoke the name of Jesus. E.g. “Jesus Christ have mercy on me” or whatever form you find helpful and can be prayed repeatedly while you’re working. This reminds us that we can’t do anything without Him.

If you don’t have a devotion to a particular saint or your guardian angel, get one. Doesn’t matter who; start making friends with those we look forward to spending eternal life with. Just like with Jesus, talk to them about anything that’s happening.

(And this is the one I struggle with most) Put in effort to know more about people, it will help you love them. Spend time learning about their likes, dislikes, and family, and most importantly don’t be afraid to share your own life with them. (Endorsi wouldn’t have realized her scenario if she hadn’t talked with Bam about it)

As I said, this is not a cure-all. But it is a place to start. When we find ourselves hating the company of others, let’s stop and ask ourselves why. If it’s because we think we don’t need anyone, then that’s the first sign we’ve gone too far.

 

I could go on but will stop for now. Perhaps this topic can be revisited from a different perspective.

St Justin Martyr, pray for us.

#animechristi #catholic anime #overthinking #anime analysis #tower of god #25th bam #androssi jahad

[baekhvuns]

Omg I forgot to tell you - two of my friends were on the set of The Crown (seasons 1-2) and they said the attention to details (interior design and fashion) was amazing. They even used some original wallpapers, furniture, clothes, and sometimes it took ages to find them

I'm a warm weather kind of person, like a lizard I NEED THE SUN. It's snowing right now and I'm in shambles 😭😭😭😭 your uni is in the mountains? Kinda spooky vibes, like a boarding school somewhere in the mountains 👀 be strong, we must survive it somehow 😢

Taemin lied down on my bed and was like "I sleep" kshdusyshdjsjsj he didn't give a fuck about me...

Atinys are shocked that despite Ateez gaining more fans, they don't vote and stream that much, y'all scared people away 😭 the surprise cocks on Twitter are the worst NOOOOO. Oh bestie you're lucky, because even if stans censor the names I still see it from time to time and 😐

If the JP MV isn't in the style of the previews I'm gonna 🔫 I need more vampire Ateez content

We got more deranged Hehetmons, they were bastardised 😭

You should add Clannad to your carrd under "triggers" 😅 But perhaps that's how I felt after reading Khr*n*s... I have such a soft spot for this show tho so I decided to focus on the positives.

AU of Ateez being wedding singers and Y/N decides to leave with Seonghwa 👀

TB is a train wreck, truly... Btw I'm obsessed with a webtoon called Blood Reverie (totally imagining vampire Hwa), I also started A Whirlwind Campus Affair - feel like it's gonna be a love triangle or perhaps even a quadruple 😭 but I'm rooting for the kinda mean but actually soft guy, he's a loser!

That styling on TXT reminds me of some of Ateez's stylings, because sometimes they just don't match 😭

Speaking of TXT I'm only gonna bark during Cat & Dog, you'll not catch me doing it otherwise hsgsjsgshaha embarrassing. Also some fans were barking for no reason at Loona and the girls were so confused

Why would you remind me of the Hwa hand holding?! The fact I was a bit reluctant back then, but now I would not let him go 💔

When Boa dropped her promo pics she was giving Avril too, she could be in Aespa with no problem.

ZOOTOPIA?! Stop because I was so hooked on that premise...

I'm laughing at people's reactions to Jongho's photo. What's next? Toes? 🤡

Lol and Japan won wih Germany, rip to Costa Rica though 7:0 💀

Damon gets better and then worse... he's my trigger 🔫

Maybe those people who dated capricorns are the problem, lol. Don't blame me, I never had a relationship!

Oiled London is now a TERF and a Christian man or whatever, someone lock him away

Bodyguard also I'm weak for Hwa in his big beanie and furry gloves. He's kinda going Soviet Union though

Oh that quiz was SERIOUS. I got "peace" but I lost the screenshot 💀 - DV 💖

hi hello!!

Omg I forgot to tell you - two of my friends were on the set of The Crown (seasons 1-2) and they said the attention to details (interior design and fashion) was amazing. They even used some original wallpapers, furniture, clothes, and sometimes it took ages to find them

EXCUSE ME THEY WHAT ??? omg ur fr so cool and u have the coolest friends omg,, SO UR SAYING DID THEY MEET THE CAST, but most importantly did they meet olivia colman bc i will beg ur friends for an autograph,, the crown really took their style to a different level, the interior and the cinematography truly so amazing !!!! but the recent season kinda lost it’s identity tbh 😭😭 i wonder what critique’s ur friends might have for this season!

I'm a warm weather kind of person, like a lizard I NEED THE SUN. It's snowing right now and I'm in shambles 😭😭😭😭 your uni is in the mountains? Kinda spooky vibes, like a boarding school somewhere in the mountains 👀 be strong, we must survive it somehow 😢

LIKE A LIZARDSDGWJDHWK 😭😭😭 omg what a perfect weather to stay in and relish some coffee,, it really is spooky! tbh some production company wanted to film it as north korea 😭😭😭😭 bc it does look like a boarding school,, almost hogwarts-y it’s spooky bc the fog really gathers up! and it’s just pure w h i t e ,,, WE MUST LIVE THRU IT BESTIE DONT SLIP ON THE SLUSH

Taemin lied down on my bed and was like "I sleep" kshdusyshdjsjsj he didn't give a fuck about me...

LMFAOOOO???? 😭😭😭😭 im in peak delulu bc taemin better comeback next week ALSO THIS TRACK IS CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED it’s very angst villain arc i rmr when he dropped the first part of this in want era,, i could not get it out of my mind

Atinys are shocked that despite Ateez gaining more fans, they don't vote and stream that much, y'all scared people away 😭 the surprise cocks on Twitter are the worst NOOOOO. Oh bestie you're lucky, because even if stans censor the names I still see it from time to time and 😐

the twt toxicity scared them away tbh 😭😭 the gatekeeping sometimes isn’t good 😭😭it just gets worse and worse,, FBWKHDWK NO BC ITS A MIX OF EVERYTHING THE WAY I BE SHIELDING MY EYES AND BLOCKING THE TAGS BUT SOMEHOW, SOMEHOW ITS ALWAYS THERE

If the JP MV isn't in the style of the previews I'm gonna 🔫 I need more vampire Ateez content

NO UR RIGHT IF THEY BAMBOOZLED US FOR THE MV IM GONNA 🔫🔫🔫 also i do not agree with a lot of the makeup choices in this cb <3

We got more deranged Hehetmons, they were bastardised 😭

BASTARDIZED 😭😭😭😭 THEY JUST KEEP GETTING WORSE AND WORSE WTF IS GOING ON 😭😭😭

You should add Clannad to your carrd under "triggers" 😅 But perhaps that's how I felt after reading Khr*n*s... I have such a soft spot for this show tho so I decided to focus on the positives.

im about to add that actually tysm,, LMFAOOOO KHRONUS WASNT REALLY TO THAT LEVEL TBH 😭😭 omg do u remember hanasaku iroha?? and wolf girl and black prince??

AU of Ateez being wedding singers and Y/N decides to leave with Seonghwa 👀

this is giving very sugar by maroon 5 vibes but the yn actually runs away 😭😭

TB is a train wreck, truly... Btw I'm obsessed with a webtoon called Blood Reverie (totally imagining vampire Hwa), I also started A Whirlwind Campus Affair - feel like it's gonna be a love triangle or perhaps even a quadruple 😭 but I'm rooting for the kinda mean but actually soft guy, he's a loser!

AYOO VAMPIRE??? im about to put this in my list rn,,, a campus affair 👁👁 IM SORRY IS THAT THE GUY UR ROOTING FOR??? BC AYOOO 🤚🏼🤚🏼 this is like a park seonghwa x park chanyeol = ban seongjun????

That styling on TXT reminds me of some of Ateez's stylings, because sometimes they just don't match 😭

YOURE RIGHT IDK WHAT HAPPENS TO STYLISTS WHEN THEIR GROUP HAS TO GO OVERSEAS BC THEY BE BRINGING OUT THE WORST OUTFITS 😭😭

Speaking of TXT I'm only gonna bark during Cat & Dog, you'll not catch me doing it otherwise hsgsjsgshaha embarrassing. Also some fans were barking for no reason at Loona and the girls were so confused

DBWMBDWK if u can awoo for wolf, we barking for txt id bark if yeonjun asks me to <3 KDJDKD ATP ORBITS DO ANYTHING AND ITS SO CASUAL 😭😭 and chuu??? 😭😭😭

Why would you remind me of the Hwa hand holding?! The fact I was a bit reluctant back then, but now I would not let him go 💔

I MEAAANNN

When Boa dropped her promo pics she was giving Avril too, she could be in Aespa with no problem. /// ZOOTOPIA?! Stop because I was so hooked on that premise...

SHE REALLY WAS !!!! what a legend, ur right her vocal also fits aespa’s in some way maybe it’s the high pitch ness,,, FBWKDHWKDHWK THAT WAS MY EXACT REACTION 😭😭 MY JAW DROPPED WHEN I READ ZOOTOPIA but it true tho

I'm laughing at people's reactions to Jongho's photo. What's next? Toes? 🤡

PLSSSS NOT THE TOES AGAIN, ONE PICTURE IS FINE NO MORE TOES 😭😭 hwa’s other shoulder drop will k word me actually

Lol and Japan won wih Germany, rip to Costa Rica though 7:0 💀

no bc japan was DEADLY !!!! sk and uruguay was so neck to neck they did NOT COME TO PLAYY,,, can’t wait for sk vs portugal, son and ronaldo ??? 😮‍💨😮‍💨 NO CB WHAT WENT WRONG WITH COSTA 😭😭😭 AND NEYMAR?? i will give him my ankle i dont even use it bro pls take it and this?? THIS IS SO FUNNY 😭😭😭 THIS IS BY FAR THE BEST THING KPOP TWT HAS DONE ,,, also found out that the next fifa, my city will host it along with america but what’s the point if the main ppl aren’t there 😭😭🤚🏼

THE NEYMAR AEGYO 😭😭😭

nugu (saudi) winning over a big 3 (argentina) company?? rigged

fanservice king 😭😭


no bc GET OUT

??? 😭😭 LMFAOOOO???

if he was in. bg, he’d be the main rapper 

Damon gets better and then worse... he's my trigger 🔫 /// Maybe those people who dated capricorns are the problem, lol. Don't blame me, I never had a relationship!

STOP BC HES A WALKING RED FLAG BUT HES TOO FINE 😭😭 i would like to say those are most likely men, bc cap women are so funny aint no way this for them 🔫

Oiled London is now a TERF and a Christian man or whatever, someone lock him away

LMFAOOOO HES A WHAT NOW 😭😭😭

Bodyguard also I'm weak for Hwa in his big beanie and furry gloves. He's kinda going Soviet Union though /// Oh that quiz was SERIOUS. I got "peace" but I lost the screenshot 💀 - DV 💖

PLS THAT PHOTO DROP IS SO FUNNY THE LAST PIC LOOKS LIKE HES ABOUT TO TAKE A SHIT 😭😭 soviet union HEJWHDKQHDKQHDKWHSKW

that quiz read something so deep i was 😳🤚🏼since u lost it dbdb i did it multiple times so i can stumble on peace and wow.. anon are u okay <3 😭😭 mines almost similar in a way, solitude!

got another one!

AND???

what’s going on at the jackson wang party 😭😭

HE IS SO 🤏🏼🤏🏼🤏🏼

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

[salvatore-moreau-is-perfect]

Young Sheldon Rant (kinda long sorry also probably a whole bunch of spoilers)

Don't mind me I just spent the last 4 hours crying over Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory/Young Sheldon.

I have been trying to watch Young Sheldon recently but it's near impossible to watch season 4 anywhere in Australia for some reason.

I just keep thinking....that poor kid. He is clearly mentally ill and there is nothing wrong with that i mean I am for pete's sakes, but the way his family treats it is heartbreaking.

I know its set before the 2000's so the stigma towards mental illness was even worse than what it is now but for fuck's sakes he clearly needs help. In fact his family makes it worse.

One moment they are treating him like an adult, letting him get a job, go to college stuff like that.

But the very next moment they treat him like he is 5. His mother mainly does this and while I can understand it, the level of neglect her other 2 children must feel is scary.

Georgie (His older brother if anyone reading didnt know) even states it in the original show, So much was sacrificed just to make Sheldon happy and again.....it's his mum that does this. She accommodates him almost all the time, she treats him like a toddler despite him pretty much being 13 by season 4/5.

(Random fun fact my pet conure is named Georgie, not after him but after a pineapple duck character Moriah Elisabeth on youtube made)

In the main show it makes us believe that Sheldon's dad is the quote on quote *Bad Parent* while his mum was the good one. Honestly I think it's the reverse. Now don't get me wrong, neither of them are abusive or cruel. I am just saying that when grown up Sheldon talks about his father it's almost always about something bad. His alcoholism, the time he caught his father cheating on his mother, the constant fights the parents would have all the time (Often about money or himself).

Actually now that I think about it, Sheldon did say something that makes it sound like his dad hit him or at least threatened to. It was along the lines of "Stop crying or I will give you something to cry about" which I have heard plenty of stories from real people that talked about being hit. I highly doubt that he went through with the threat, he never gave off that vibe during the show and it's like the only time Sheldon brings it up to my knowledge.

His mother on the other hand oh ho ho (why did I type that?) was just all over the place. 1 moment she was the perfect Christian mother doing her best with a *ehm* "Gifted" son. The next she would be picking fights with neighbors, hiding money from her husband though this could be somewhat justified and refusing to let Sheldon grow up normally.

Now remember, I have seen next to nothing of season 4 and have only had what appear to be glimpses into his fathers' death/infidelity so forgive me if I have some facts wrong.

(Ha this was meant to be about Sheldon but I am mainly talking about his family....sorry)

Missy is also very similar to her adult counterpart but again less mature since she would be the only 1 of the 3 kids to not be in highschool. I love how they gave her a real personality and didn't just make her the stereotypical sister who loves girly things and boys and stuff. She is honestly very funny, has a wide range of emotions, likes to set fires and gets annoyed when Sheldon is being well...Sheldon. Now I am not sure if this was someone's headcanon or something the show actually implied and that I missed because I watched all 12 seasons of BBT in less than 2 weeks but I remember reading somewhere that she grows up to have a unhealthy relationship with alcohol just like their dad and I hope it's not true. I loved it when Mee Maw makes the Baseball coach give her a chance at playing and how despite her reason for joining was to get close to a guy Missy ends up really enjoying the game and it opened up bonding moments with the dad.

Mee Maw (aka grandma) was fine I guess. We only saw her once in the original show and other then being protective of her grandson we knew nothing else about her. So it would not be that hard to give her a personality and they gave her a great one. She treated all the kids the same and helped them whenever possible but she had a life outside of her family. My favorite scene with her though is when she tells Missy that the reason why her mum was so religious was because something went wrong when she was born and her mum promised to be the perfect christen if god would let Missy live and it worked (in her mind anyway.) It was so heartwarming and was such a good way to explain way the mum was so devoted to her faith. The whole "She dates someone with a lot of similar querks to Sheldon" thing seemed odd to me (All romance is odd to me lets be honest) I did enjoy his character.

Speaking of John Sturgis I honestly did not expect his character to get as dark as it did. Not dark as in "He was bad man that did bad things" I mean dark as in he had a mental illness (Dementia I think? correct me if I am wrong) that was affecting him so badly that he had to be placed into a hospital for a while. I am sad that Sheldon never brought him up in BBT and I assume it's because he didn't exist yet. He basically became Sheldon's second Grandfather figure since his bio one died when he was....I want to say between 4 to 6. After season 2 though he wasn't really in it as often anymore. In fact Mee Maw was dating a different man.

(Speaking of the second man is he dying? The most recent episode I saw which was the S3 final showed him acting super weird and suddenly becoming more religious so I think this is the case. I don't care about spoilers so please tell me.)

Also I just thought that I should say I resonate with Sheldon to a alarming degree. We have very similar quirks, we annoy anyone that talks to us, had complicated relationships with our fathers and overall were just the weird kids that nobody liked. The big difference being that Sheldon is a genius while I cried so hard during a maths quiz that I was cut from not only that class but my biology one as well, also I got put into a lower level english class. I passed by the skin of my teeth i'll tell you that much.

This is long as sin so I shall do a part 2 of just Young Sheldon himself.

If anyone actually cares please give me your opinions, any corrections I may need to make and tell me if you want me to talk about the minor characters as well.

#the big bang theory #young sheldon #sheldon cooper #cooper family #give me your opinion

[solarscholarsofmagick]

10 Things that EVERYONE Needs to Know Before Starting the Craft

1. Wicca and Witchcraft are Not the Same Thing

This is a pet-peeve of mine when people use those words interchangeably. So, what’s the difference? To put it simply, Wicca is a religion, while witchcraft is a practice. It’s like saying that prayer and Christianity are the same thing. Wicca is a relatively new invention, being created in the late 1950’s by Gerald Gardner after he spent a lot of time in Asia and became enthralled with their spirituality, which he merged with various occult practices that he came across in his travels. Witchcraft, on the other hand, is defined, at least by this author, as the act of manipulating the energy around you to achieve a goal. You can be either or you can be both, but they are not mutually exclusive.

2. Witchcraft Does Not Need to Kill Your Bank Account

If you follow many big-name witch influencers, more than likely, you will get caught up in the aesthetic of hundreds of beautiful crystals, perfect altars, sculpted candles, and much more elaborate and expensive things. Now, I want to make it clear, that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, but it is not always feasible to have (or afford) everything required to fit that aesthetic. Rough, unpolished crystals will work just as good as the one you saw that was professionally polished and carved into the shape of a skull. You can get candles at thrift shops, not just at the website that sells specifically anointed candles for every specific intention. Remember, it is not the tool that makes the witch, but the witch that makes the tool!

3. Know the Difference Between a Coven and A Cult

While it is not necessary, there are definitely some benefits that come with finding a coven that welcomes you with open arems. So, first off, what is a coven?

A coven is a group of like-minded witches that help each other out magickally and hold a special bond or connection. They will often perform rituals together. Please keep in mind that there is a difference between a coven and a cult.

A coven is rewarding, full of (usually) great people and potential friends, while a cult is dangerous, toxic, and filled with people who often prey on the vulnerable or unaware.

Here are some potential warning signs of a cult:

They encourage you to cut off ties with your friends and family.

They try their best to make you dependent on them.

They pressure you into engaging in sexual/criminal/drug activities.

You feel as if it is dangerous to leave.

The “leader” equates themselves to a deity or is a “my word is law” type.

You feel as if you are walking on eggshells around them.

There is some “divine” goal that you must behave a very specific way in order to reach.

Those who manage to escape are demonized and/or are made into examples.

If you suspect that you or a loved one are in a dangerous situation, please contact the appropriate authorities.

4. Witchcraft Can Become Mundane

Pop culture has a bad habit of sensationalizing witchcraft. As cool as it looks, witchcraft isn’t all lightning fingers and demon-slaying. You most likely won’t become a soldier of a magickal war, facing down an ancient evil that was recently released. Sorry, I didn’t mean to burst your bubble!

That being said, witchcraft is extremely rewarding and can be as fun as you make it!

Just like with any other art, it requires discipline! It requires study, practice, and essential tasks (or as they are often fondly called, witchy chores). Some of these “chores” include cleansing, charging, decorating, meditation, and more. Unfortunately, as we all know, these tasks may feel tedious, but they are often very necessary. Again, it is as fun as you make it, and you will be less likely to burn out/hate performing the tasks if you view them as the essential tasks they are rather than unnecessary chores.

5. Learn As Much of the Basics That You Can

As much as we want to immediately jump into more flashy things such as astral projection and elaborate spells or hexes, you must learn the basics first. Why? Because, without a strong grasp of the basics, your magickal work can be unstable and reap results that you may not have intended, including ones that cause harm to you or those around you. To quote a cliche, you must learn to crawl before you can walk.

Here are some basics that I recommend you begin with:

Visualization

Meditation

The history of witchcraft

The elements of a spell

Color/stone/common herb correspondences

Grounding

Different types of the craft

6. Elitism Exists and it’s Bullsh*t

Unfortunately, no matter what community you are in, there will always be a few bad apples, but I will be referring specifically to elitists. Elitists in the witchcraft community tend to preach that their way is the only true way to be a witch, that you must have the most expensive of tools, or that witches who come from a family of witches are better than those who do not. If there is one thing that I want you to take from this article, it’s that, no matter what anyone says, you will NEVER be any less of a witch because of your bloodline, ethnicity, skin color, religion, spiritual practice, or socio-economic status!

7. You Don’t Need to Choose Between Religion and the Craft

One of the most common reasons of being apprehensive towards starting your journey through the craft that I see is a fear of retaliation within your own religion. For example, a lot of Christian witches will initially be afraid of going to hell for their practices. As someone who grew up in the Bible Belt of the Southern United States (poor Awen still lives there), I can definitely relate to this feeling. However, I, as well as several other religious witches, can say that you can have both. You do not need to drop one to have the other. In my eyes, your relationship with your god(s) is between them and you and is nobody else’s business.

To make things a little easier, however, I recommend sliding into the craft slowly. Dip your toe in the proverbial water. Try starting by engaging in activities that aren’t necessarily tied to witchcraft such as meditating, grounding, growing plants, or even just collecting pretty rocks. I also recommend reaching out to practicing witches within your faith for advice. It also may be a good idea to truly research religions of interest and make sure that your religion is a good match for you. It is okay to realize that the religion you were raised to be in, like being raised to be in a particular political party, does not have to be your religion. If it is and it causes you and others around you no harm, then I am truly happy for you and support you.

8. Learn to Listen to Your Intuition/”Gut”

We tend to have a 6th sense for danger or the presence of another being. You may recognize this feeling when you can feel that someone is watching you. Our instincts are built into us to keep us alive. Personally, following my gut has saved my life more than once. In one particular incident, my gut told me to stop at a crosswalk despite not seeing any nearby cars and the sign telling me to walk. Seconds later, a truck sped by, running the red light at full speed.

If you feel that a spell has taken a turn towards the unwanted, find a stopping point and seal it away. Feel as if a deity is calling you? Take the time to research them and their calling cards. However, please take the time to learn the difference between a negative gut feeling and general nervousness, as it does feel different.

9. Learn the Difference Between Good and Bad Resources

Misinformaion and toxic ideologies can be dangerous when it comes to witchcraft. You can read extensively about the difference between the two in my previous post about it here.

10. It’s Okay If the Craft is Not for You

If you decide to try out the craft and later feel as if it isn’t clicking… that’s okay. The initial decision to explore is not one for life. Just like how certain sports, hobbies, music, et cetera are not for everybody, witchcraft is not for everybody. Anyone who decides to judge you for that is wrong and not worth your time.

Please consider supporting us by viewing the original post on our website, here!

#witchblr #witch #witchcraft #witches of color #witches of tumblr #wiccablr #wicca #wiccan #wiccans of color #wiccans of tumblr #pagan #paganism #pagans of color #pagans of tumblr #occult #spiritual #spirituality #spiritualism

[bulletballet-arch]

REALLY LONG  CHARACTER  SURVEY. RULES. repost ,   don’t  reblog !    tag 10 ! good  luck ! TAGGED. I took this from Minnie’s archived Bioshock blog. I’ve been looking for this meme all this month. TAGGING. @hammurabicomplex. @bluuxriising. @ Me - for Sal on @bulletsoverbensonhurst​. @immaterialed (charlie) @soypeor (bella) @svmmercmance​. @mrflayed. and you!

BASICS. FULL  NAME :  Eve Delores Littlejohn NICKNAME : Evie, Little Evie (by her maternal side of the family), Delores, Didi NAME  MEANING / S  Eve is from the ancient Hebrew name  חַוָּה (Chawwah), which was derived from the Hebrew word חָוָה (chawah) meaning "to breathe" or the related word חָיָה (chayah) meaning "to live". Delores is a variant of Dolores, meaning "sorrows", taken from the Spanish title of the Virgin Mary María de los Dolores, meaning "Mary of Sorrows." Littlejohn is a surname that has historically been found in England and Scotland. With potential origins being either ‘to distinguish a beloved child that was not the eldest.’ Or, ‘a contradictory nickname for a large man.’ HISTORICAL  CONNECTION? : She’s named after her grandmother, Evelyn Hollins.

AGE : 42 BIRTHDAY :  June 2 ETHNIC  GROUP : Black-American. Meaning she’s mixed with a lot (Some of her relatives are respectively Creole and Italian) but uses Black as a catch-all term. NATIONALITY :  American LANGUAGE / S : English, Italian, Spanish, Latin, some French SEXUAL  ORIENTATION :   Bisexual ROMANTIC  ORIENTATION :  Biromantic RELATIONSHIP  STATUS : Verse dependent, usually married -or connected- to Salvatore Scozzari in some way. CLASS : Upper-Class HOME  TOWN / AREA :   Brooklyn. Spent time between Bedford-Stuyvesant - with her paternal grandfather and Park Slope - with her maternal grandparents.  CURRENT  HOME : In her childhood home in Bedford-Stuyvesant. PROFESSION : Ballet Instructor. Former Professional Ballerina. ( Other verses see her as a professional thief. )

PHYSICAL. HAIR : Black. In terms of her natural hair, Eve has springy, 3C hair she seldom shows off because she was raised in a family where straightened hair was deemed presentable and professional.  EYES : Thin almond eyes. Dark brown. NOSE : Straight and small. FACE :  She has a prominent, high forehead, that’s accented with high cheekbones and a pointy chin. LIPS :  Full. COMPLEXION : She has a light brown (tawny) complexion.  SCARS : None major. TATTOOS : None. HEIGHT : 5′4″ BUILD : Eve has a slender build. One of those people who have been small and petite since childhood. Despite this, she also stays skinny because she is obsessively conscious of the food she consumes. The older she gets the more she weighs, however. USUAL HAIR STYLE :  Her hair is cut short. Reaching her shoulders in a neat, even bob. She either curls it in a retro fashion or curls the tips. For work she wears it in a traditional, pinned bun. USUAL FACE LOOK : In public, she appears stoic for the most part. Any emotion shown (such as the length of a smile) is carefully calculated. She has to seem perfect.  USUAL  CLOTHING : Form fitting dresses. Incredibly chic and fashionable for the time. Shoes include heels - never open-toed, unless she has on stockings. Extravagant earrings. Jewelry that can include either necklaces, crosses, pearls, or dainty rings. Prone to wearing black sunglasses in public.

PSYCHOLOGY. FEAR / S : Thunderstorms, airplanes, creatures like weasels, snakes and ferrets, break-ins, men she doesn’t know, harm coming to her children ASPIRATION / S :  Formerly wanted to become a major [black] ballerina in the elite world of ballet, now she just wants to expose more [inner city children] to dance through her job. Personally, she wants her children to change the world in some form or fashion, too. Eve also has good ideas on improving the community, but at the moment has no idea how to go about these ideas. POSITIVE  TRAITS :  Generous, compassionate, patient, protective NEGATIVE  TRAITS : Strict, sullen, hard to read, represses her emotions, secretive MBTI :  Advocate - INFJ-T ZODIAC :  Cancer TEMPERAMENT :  Melancholic ANIMALS :  Lioness VICE / S :  Pride & Lust FAITH : Christian. Grew up Baptist, but Catholic influences have been around her since childhood. Attended a Catholic High School in Park Slope, her grandmother Evelyn was also a practicing Catholic.  GHOSTS ? : Yes and no. She feels that objects formerly owned by the deceased posses the essence of their previous owners and that they essentially live on through these pieces of property. AFTERLIFE ? : Yes. REINCARNATION ? :  No, but it’s a romantic concept. ALIENS ? : No. POLITICAL  ALIGNMENT :  Democratic ECONOMIC  PREFERENCE :  She likes being where she’s at now. But honestly, being upper class is all she’s ever known. SOCIOPOLITICAL  POSITION : Bourgeoisie, basically. The Littlejohn’s represent The Historical Black Elite.  EDUCATION  LEVEL : College level. FAMILY.

FATHER :  William ‘Bill’ Littlejohn MOTHER : Linda Littlejohn ( nee Hollins ) SIBLINGS : None EXTENDED  FAMILY : Amos Littlejohn (paternal grandfather) Liza Littlejohn (paternal grandmother) Evelyn Hollins (maternal grandmother) Giuseppe D’Aietti (maternal grandfather) and a wide host of cousins, aunts and uncles.

FAVOURITES. BOOK :  Night Song by Beverly Jenkins. The Color Purple by Alice Walker. Some sort of old, French erotic novel that was published before she was born. MOVIE : Eve watches films along the lines of...Waiting to Exhale, Beaches, The First Wives Club and Fatal Attraction. She loves Made-For-TV movies from the time period. In regards to plays, her favorite one is Sunday In The Park With George. 5  SONGS :  Meet Me On The Moon / Essence of Sapphire / No One In The World / People / The First Time I Saw Your Face  DEITY :  Persephone  HOLIDAY : New Years Eve, Christmas, Thanksgiving. Major holidays during the colder season. MONTH :  October SEASON :  Autumn PLACE :  The dance studio she works at. WEATHER : Sunny, but cool. SOUND : The voices of Anita Baker and Sarah Vaughn. A skilled hand running over piano keys. Soft trumpets. Running water. Cats making chipper little meows. SCENT / S :  Perfume, floral scented lotions, her partner’s cologne TASTE / S :  Caramel, the tang of dark chocolate, strawberries coated with either chocolate, or sprinkles of white sugar. Light Vinegar.  FEEL / S : Performing in front of an audience. Hot water engulfing your skin after a long day. Satin - whether it be the fabric of her clothes or sheets, your fingers tightly intertwined with another’s, feeling your significant other’s chest raise and lower against your skin with each breath they take. ANIMAL / S : Cocker Spaniels, Afghan Hounds, Cats, Birds - she loves all ( well, a majority ) of animals. NUMBER :  Doesn’t have one. COLOR :  White, Pink, Gold.

EXTRA. TALENTS :  Dance, Eve is trained in ballet when it comes to her main verse. She has attended ballet classes since the age of eight and ever since then she placed all of her focus into it. Similarly, Eve has always had the makings of a good artist - as a child she enjoyed drawing and had informal art lessons with a man who lived in the basement of her grandfather’s brownstone, but she never invested into that half of her. BAD AT : Singing, Being interviewed, Public Speaking (as in Speech Giving), Decision Making TURN  ONS :  Charisma, Leadership Skills, Temperature Play, Phone Sex, Heavy Kissing, Light Roleplay TURN  OFFS :  Public Sex, Tearing [ Her ] Clothes, Threesomes, Cruelty, Senseless Violence HOBBIES :  viewing plays & some musicals, reading romance novels, shopping, working out (she was into the whole celebrity VHS tape exercise trend), playing tennis, decorating AESTHETIC :  Vintage Black Glamour, Black Ballerinas, Champagne and Wine Glasses, Paintings by Melinda Byers and Edward 'Clay' Wright QUOTES :  "I'm bad with words, I hope you're good in reading eyes." / "There are truths I haven't even told God. And not even myself. I am a secret under the lock of seven keys."

FC INFO. MAIN  FC / S : Lynn Whitfield ( A Thin Line Between Love & Hate ) ALT  FC / S : Kylie Bunbury ( Twisted ) OLDER  FC / S :  Lynn Whitfield ( Greenleaf ) YOUNGER  FC / S : N/A VOICE  CLAIM / S : Lynn Whitfield

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 :   if  you  could  write  your  character  your  way  in  their  own  movie ,   what  would  it  be  called ,  what  style  would  it  be  filmed  in ,  and  what  would  it  be  about ?       A1 : Recently I decided that if/when I try to write anything serious about Eve again, it’ll center on her being a jewel thief because it presents me more fun, and emotionally diverse, opportunities. That and I have a very specific cover image in my mind. Ideally, her adventures would be a series of books. I have no title in mind, no idea about how ‘it would be filmed’ ( although a style replicating 90s films would be excellent, film grain and all. ) but, I do have a bunch of plots in mind that I really don’t feel like typing out here.  

Q2 :   what  would  their  soundtrack / score  sound  like ?         A2 :  Her score would have a vintage sound (or a jazzy Spike Lee sound, if you will) with instrumentals by Dorothy Ashby (a Jazz Harpist) the Ahmad Jamal Trio, Pharaoh Sanders, Yusef Lateef and Tarika Blue. For music with lyrics, the soundtrack would include the likes of Julie London, Sarah Vaughn, Ella Fitzgerald, and Dionne Warwick.

Q3 :   why  did  you  start  writing  this  character ?   + Q4 :   what  first  attracted  you  to  this  character ? A3 :  Whenever I make NPCs for my character’s lives I actually can’t just let them just be NPCs. I start thinking about them too much. Developing them too much. And then I’m like, ‘wow! I really like this character!’ Eve was a different character when I began writing her, and likely wouldn’t be considered the same character as she was previously, if I told someone in real life who knows about my writing (like my grandma) about all the changes she has undergone. Originally Delores was a university professor, because I thought it could lead to interesting interactions with college-age muses. And her previous history with the mafia was also something interesting to tap in. But then I started thinking about what was realistic, what wasn’t realistic, what did I feel comfortable/interested writing? What didn’t I feel comfortable/interested in writing?  So as time went on, things would alter about this character. And the new things I came up with attracted me more. 

Q5 :   describe  the  biggest  thing  you  dislike  about  your  muse.         A5 :  I have a love/hate relationship with Eve’s quiet demeanor. On one hand, I think quieter characters need love and the ability to be fully dimensional but on the other hand, writing louder characters has always been more fun for me. But really, Eve’s guarded behavior makes writing her stressful in some cases with others because sometimes...if I’m going to be honest...people don’t know how to carry a thread and interact with someone of her demeanor effectively. 

Q6 :   what  do  you  have  in  common  with  your  muse ?       A6 : We’re both black, we’re both into art (although our exact interests and aesthetics with art differ)

Q7 :   how  does  your  muse  feel  about  you ?         A7 : Realistically she would think I need to take better care of myself.

Q8 :   what  characters  does  your  muse  have  interesting  interactions with ?   A8 :  We skippin’ this question.

Q9 :   what  gives  you  inspiration  to  write  your  muse ?       A9 : Films such as, “Waiting to Exhale,” “The Kitchen” and “Widows.” Books by Alice Walker, like “The Third Life of Grange Copeland” as well as her short story, “Roselily.” The historical mob figure Stephanie St. Clair.

Q10 :   how  long  did  this  take  you  to  complete ?       A10 : A few hours.

#long post #dash games. #headcanons.

[missjanjie]

Better Than Revenge | (2/?)

Title: Better Than Revenge Summary: Karma Inc.’s business structure is simple - clients hire them when they’ve been grievously wronged and they send one of their revenge mercenaries to right them. As painstaking as their efforts to remain ethical may be, that may be tested when former detective, Rosé, enlists the squad to pick up where she couldn’t on a much higher scale, with potentially greater consequences. Word Count: ~2.6k (this chapter) | ~5.3k (total) Relationship(s): Rosnali (Rosé/Denali Foxx), Jankie (Jackie Cox/Jan Sport), Halldoll (Nicky Doll/Jaida Essence Hall), Gimone (Gigi Goode/Symone), Gottlux (Gottmik/Olivia Lux) Rating: T

TW for this chapter: implied domestic abuse, attempted sexual coercion of a minor, deadnaming/transphobia

Read on AO3 | Ko-Fi

Chapter Summary: Rosé learns Nicky, Jan, and Mik's revenge origin stories

-

Milwaukee, WI - 2007

“I think my parents are starting to get suspicious,” Jaida quietly confessed, her gaze downcast to the floor while Nicky sat behind her, braiding her hair.

Nicky frowned, her brows furrowed as she tied off the braid she’d put Jaida’s hair in with a hair elastic. “What is making you say that?” she asked, moving so she was facing the other girl and taking her hands into her own.

She shrugged, fumbling with the hem of her shirt until Nicky’s grasp stilled them. “Just feels like they’re snooping around more, suddenly real interested in my life. And you know they’re always acting weird whenever we’re at my house together. Last time they made us keep the door open, remember?”

“I had assumed that was an American thing,” she confessed. She had only moved to the states a couple of months ago, at the start of her and Jaida’s junior year of high school, and she was still learning how to differentiate cultural differences from people behaving unusually to her specifically.

“You think everything you don’t understand is an American thing,” Jaida rolled her eyes with a fond smile, “though I guess you’re right most of the time,” she conceded.

Nicky shrugged it off, redirecting back to the topic at hand. “But you’re worried they’re going to find out about us and poop will hit the ceiling.”

“Shit will hit the fan,” she corrected, then sighed. “I mean, think about it — my mom’s a Sunday school teacher and my dad’s the son of a preacher, they take ‘traditional family values’ very seriously. And I don’t know how things are in France but there’s nothing traditional about this,” she explained, gesturing between the two of them.

She frowned, her brows knitting together. “But we are happy together, surely once we graduate, we can—”

“It’s not that simple, Nicky!” Jaida tossed her head back and groaned. “I love you, but in a place like this, sometimes love just ain’t enough.”

And maybe it was denial, or maybe it was blind optimism, but Nicky had refused to take that answer lying down. She fought for Jaida and fought even harder to keep the relationship away from her disapproving parents. For a while, it seemed to be working, they had their beautiful, fleeting moments that let them believe that everything would be okay.

It was the first day back after spring break and Nicky immediately noticed a change in her girlfriend. It was like the life and light had been drained from her like she was only present physically. And despite the warm weather, she was dressed for late fall. She rushed towards her, taking her hand. “Ma chérie, what’s wrong? You look so unwell.”

Jaida hesitated before pulling her hand away. “I can’t hang around you anymore,” she replied. “Though I’m not gonna see anyone around here for a while starting real soon,” she mumbled.

“What do you mean?”

“My parents found out, Nicky,” she choked out, forcing back a sob, “and they were mad, I ain’t never seen them so mad. They’re sending me to military school… well, they gave me a choice between that and conversion therapy… seemed like the better option.”

Nicky bit down on her quivering lip. “But you can find me when you are done, right?” She reached out to her again, but Jaida backed away to step out of her grasp.

“I can’t. Besides, you won’t want me anyway, I won’t be the same person.”

She tried to grab for her once more, desperate to keep her, looking at her with watery, pleading eyes. “Jaida, I can’t—”

“Please,” she sniffled, “don’t make this harder than it’s already gonna be.”

And perhaps Nicky should have let it go, accepted losing her first love, and moving on with her life. Sure, she would eventually. She would move around for school, for work, meeting many beautiful women along the way, but none of that happened until she made sure Jaida’s parents experienced at least a fraction of the hurt they had caused the both of them.

Her plan had been elaborate and convoluted and would require a heavy amount of stealth work and computer literacy to pull off. But as it turned out, her plan of convincing the two parents that the other was cheating on them was quite easy when her snooping unearthed the fact that both of them already were. All she needed to do was bring it to light.

Present Day

“When you think about it,” Nicky mused, “I did them a favor. There are worse ways they could’ve found out than having an envelope full of proof dropped off at your workplace. At least no one made a scene… as far as I know, at least.”

“Does Jaida know?” Rosé asked. “Now that you guys have reconnected, have you caught her up to speed? Because it seems like something you should tell her.”

Nicky winced and looked away. “It… has not come up yet,” she murmured. “There is no easy way to inform someone that you were the catalyst in their parent’s divorce. Unless you have a way, in which case, feel free to share with the class.”

She shrugged, putting her hands up in surrender. “I got nothing, but my point remains. It’s gonna bite you in the ass badly if you wait too long to say anything.” When Nicky shrugged it off, she decided to move on. “What about you, Bubbles?” she asked, looking towards Jan, “what sort of scathing revenge does someone as bouncy as you come up with?”

Jan pressed her lips into a fine line, holding back what was either a smile or a grimace. “Well, this also happened in high school, an all-girl Catholic school, of course…”

Old Bridge, NJ - 2009

Jan was nothing if not brave. Coming out in tenth grade, especially considering the environment she was in, was a choice that couldn’t be taken lightly. While she had the support of her family and closest friends, the school environment had been a different story.

“Janice, could you stay back for a moment?” her math teacher, a conventionally attractive man in his early thirties, prompted as the final bell rang.

With math being her weakest subject, Jan was instantly concerned and nodded. “Of course, sir. Is something wrong?” she asked as she walked over to his desk.

“I think something is very wrong,” he replied as he got up. “Janice, I am highly concerned with your mental wellbeing.” He stopped in front of her, cupping her face with both hands. “You’re such a bright, beautiful girl. It would be such a shame for you to throw that away because you’ve chosen to shun God and live in sin.”

Jan felt her heart drop into the pit of her stomach and her throat tighten. This was inevitable, but that didn’t make it any easier to bear. She started shaking her head. “N-No, I’m… I’m not, I—”

“Shh…” he pressed his thumb to her lips to quiet her, then swiped it across her bottom lip. “Part of being a good Christian is overcoming temptation. And that’s what you want, isn’t it? Isn’t it what your parents want for you?” His hands move to her shoulders, squeezing them gently. “God gave you this body to lay with a man, you just need to be put in the right direction before it’s too late. I could help you, I could save you.”

Jan felt sick to her stomach. She hated every moment of the interaction; she hated the feeling of his hands on her, the way he was leering at her body, undressing her with his eyes. But at the same time, it was hard to lean into that hate, because he did pick on every insecurity she had in regards to her faith. But her sense of self won out and she was able to free herself of his grasp and run out of the room as fast as her legs would take her.

Any shame or guilt she might have felt was quickly replaced by anger and a desire to stop the man that tried to rob her of her innocence from harming anyone else. But she was still cautious, she knew there was a risk of retaliation if she spoke out alone, that was when her plan formed.

She created a fake Facebook account of a fifteen-year-old girl who was ‘planning on transferring to her school’. That was why she messaged the teacher, and after a few days of exchanging messages, ‘Samantha’ had agreed to meet up with him, the conversation in no uncertain terms making his intent clear.

Now, the obvious path from there would have been to go to the police, but that wasn’t good enough for Jan. Instead, she went to her godfather, who had promised he’d always help her ‘by any means necessary’. So, it was neither the police nor ‘Samantha’ that met the teacher at the park. Instead, it was two burly men who drove home a rough lesson that he was to turn himself in the next day, lest he face even worse consequences. He’d been given a flash drive with a copy of the whole exchange and was told he had exactly twenty-four hours and that the police would be expecting him.

Of course, those details weren’t in the subsequent news story of the teacher’s arrest. The conviction, however, was disappointing to Jan, as it was only two years and a thousand dollar fine, as well as losing his teaching license and having to register as an offender.

Present Day

“But rest assured, people are keeping an eye on him these days. You know, should he ever try and act up,” Jan explained with a shrug.

Rosé’s mouth was hanging open by the time Jan had finished her story. “So, you put a hit out on a pedo. I mean, shit, color me impressed,” she chuckled softly, then quickly followed up with, “I’m so sorry any of that happened to you, though. I’ve had people in my life try to weaponize religion against me after I came out. It’s never an easy pill to swallow.” She then looked at the group curiously. “Are you all…”

“Mik’s pan but yeah, the rest of us are gay,” Gigi confirmed with a nod. “At first, I thought that’d be the only thing we all have in common, but here we are now.”

“Chosen family is super important,” Mik agreed, “you never know who you can’t trust in your bloodline.”

Rosé quirked her brow. “That what happened to you?”

Scottsdale, AZ - 2015

Mik had been sitting across from his parents in dead silence for the past five minutes. There was no easy way to break it, let alone a correct one. On the coffee table in front of them were printed pictures of screenshots from his private Twitter account, where he presented himself as his true identity, but the precautions he took weren’t enough.

“Kady, sweetheart, I’m sure Uncle Joe brought this to our attention with your best interest at heart,” his mother said in as sweet of a voice as she could muster, which only served to sound fake to her son.

He rolled his eyes. “Oh please, don’t give me that. If it was ‘concern’ he would’ve told you privately. He sent it to the family group chat then told you that, and I quote, ‘your daughter thinks she’s a tranny’,” he struggled to keep his tone even, but he knew he needed to coddle his parents’ feelings if he wanted a chance of being taken seriously.

“I’m sure it just caught him by surprise,” his father offered.

Mik groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Even if he did, he wasn’t treating it like a fun piece of gossip, he hunted down my private account and outed me to humiliate me, and it would mean a lot if you guys had my back on this.”

This brought another wave of silence upon his parents. He couldn’t get a clear read on them, but they seemed stressed, confused, and most painfully, they seemed sad. His mother slowly picked her head back up. “Kady, I—”

“My name is Mik.”

“Listen, honey, you’re going to have to give us some time to adjust,” his dad tried to ease the tension, “you’re still our child, but this isn’t an easy thing to process, your mother especially is mourning the loss of her daughter.”

Mik felt his chest tighten in anger and hurt. “But I’m not—” he got up, shaking his head. “Right, fine,” he mumbled and escaped to the sanctuary of his bedroom. Left alone with his thoughts, the anger he had towards his parents dissipated and the rage shifted solely onto his uncle. After all, this was his fault. He was the one that robbed him of the opportunity to come out on his terms, and with the active intent to cause harm.

The anger didn’t go away over the following weeks. Instead, it built up, it festered inside of him as the summer after high school began. He had downloaded Grindr out of casual curiosity, and it was only a matter of minutes before a profile caught his eye. “No fucking way,” he grinned.

Of course, it was Joe, Mik realized how much of a cliche it was, but that didn’t change the fact that his bigoted uncle that tried to ruin his familial relationships was soliciting male escorts on a gay dating app. The opportunity for revenge essentially fell into his lap. He made a fake account and exchanged messages with him, just enough to get the evidence he needed.

The last step was simple, he dropped the screenshots into the same group text without any comment and removed himself from the group chat right after. He didn’t need to see the chaos unfold, Uncle Joe’s absence from the next family gathering was all he needed.

Present Day

“Just to be clear,” Mik added as he finished the story, “I’m against outing people, for the most part, obviously it should be something done on your terms. But shit, sometimes it’s gotta be an eye for an eye, you know?”

“Wait, I have a question,” Jan chimed in, “is he out now? Do y’all even talk to him anymore?”

He shook his head. “He moved to Alabama, I guess he wanted to go somewhere to double-down on the bigotry. No idea what happened after that. But, you know, good fucking riddance.”

“Amen to that,” Rosé agreed. “I don’t know how you guys have figured out that line of deciding what’s morally sound and what’s ethical enough. It seems to work, but it seems hard.”

“Jackie helped a lot with that,” Jan told her, her face lighting up and her smile broadening as she continued, “she has this pragmatic take on these things while still understanding that there’s so much ambiguity and morally gray areas. She’s honestly the smartest person I’ve ever met.”

Rosé nodded as she listened. “I’m glad you guys have someone like that on your team. How long have you two been dating?”

Jan turned bright red, worsened by the way the rest of the group laughed. “Oh, um, we’re not dating. She and I are… very close friends,” she explained.

“Ah,” the corners of her lips tugged into a smirk, “you’re just fucking, got it,” she observed, causing another eruption of laughter from the others, much to Jan’s chagrin. Once it died down, she redirected her attention to the half of the group that had yet to recall their stories. “Alright, who’s next?”

#halldoll #jankie #rpdr rpf

[greater-than-the-sword]

Yes, America is changing.

Suddenly now almost every day people are coming to me and telling me how afraid they are that they might be persecuted and suffer and maybe die in Jesus’s name. If this is you please read. If you predicted this please read anyway.

Yes, a lot of people predicted “the decline of the West”, “the decline of Christian morality,” etc. I’m young but I spent a few years predicting this and those who are older than me prognosticated this moment much longer. Decades, really. The warnings had their place. Telling people all about how horrible it will be if we don’t turn things around. Maybe those dire warnings still have a place to people who are blind.

But what do we say to the church now? Despite our best efforts, that day has come. You Are Here. At the very least we can see far enough ahead down the road now to know exactly how we get there.

So what are we going to say now? More predictions? Why? Just to be right? The time for prognostication is over. What are you going to say? “I told you so?” “This would never have happened if you’d voted for Mitt Romney?”

All the “I told you so”s in the world won’t make it hurt less. Jesus told us we’d suffer for his sake, but he didn’t tell us that so that he could say “I told you so”.

As the church and especially more mature Christians what we need to be sharing with others is what we have: what makes us able to face up to the truth. We need to share our source of courage and hope. Because look, who knows what will happen? Maybe it really is the end times and in a hot second babies disappear from strollers and Nicolai Carpathia buys ten tracts of land and seizes control of the UN and then giant scorpions come down out of the sky and etc. Or, maybe, it’s not the end of the world yet and this is a time period like many that have happened before and we emerge in a bright new renaissance of the Christian faith forged in the blood of new martyrs. But who knows?

With that in mind, let me shake a few verses out of my bible.

16 The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,  17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together.

-Romans 8:16-17

This is a trustworthy saying: If we died with Him, we will also live with Him; 12if we endure, we will also reign with Him; if we deny Him, He will also deny us;  13if we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.

-2 Timothy 2:11-13

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, 5 who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 

-1 Peter 1:3-7

14 But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear their threats[a]; do not be frightened.”[b] 15 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. 

-1 Peter 3:14-15

16 Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf. 

-1 Peter 4:16

8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 

-2 Corinthians 4:8-10

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

-Matthew 5:10-12

... everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.

-1 John 5:4

10 Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you life as your victor’s crown. 

-Revelation 2:10

And lastly a cut of the victory promises in Revelation.

To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.

The one who is victorious will not be hurt at all by the second death. 

To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it. 

To the one who is victorious and does my will to the end, I will give authority over the nations—  that one ‘will rule them with an iron scepter and will dash them to pieces like pottery’—just as I have received authority from my Father. I will also give that one the morning star.

The one who is victorious will, like them, be dressed in white. I will never blot out the name of that person from the book of life, but will acknowledge that name before my Father and his angels.  

The one who is victorious I will make a pillar in the temple of my God. Never again will they leave it. I will write on them the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which is coming down out of heaven from my God; and I will also write on them my new name.

To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne.

To put it in the words of one of my favorite (though secular) bands, “It’s the rule that you live by and die for, the one thing you cannot deny. Even though you don’t know what the price is, it is justified.” Never let the pessimism take over. We will win the victory through Christ!

#christianity #christian #christblr

[mantra4ia]

Debris 1x13 "Celestial Body": rewatch Reaction'd, questions and comments

So if all those people are experiencing emotional convergence, who are they converging from? Who's sending the emotional signal that the debris is channeling, or is it the debris manifesting it's "consciousness" in a way that we can understand it by way of human conduits?

Maddox is clearly trading debris pieces with Irina (perhaps the piece that he took out of storage off the books), and Irina is on the phone with presumably her handler/ boss to negotiate this trade. She gives him lateral (which I assume means latitudinal) readings and then he asks for longitudinal readings which we don't get to hear. They are: Lateral 105, 112, 115, 120, 113, 110, 109

What's the significance of these measures? Latitude goes from 0° to 90° from the equator, so that doesn't track unless the scene is cut wrong and they're meant to be longitudinal (E/W) readings, which go to 180° relative to the prime meridian. That would make more sense, because after Irina is done with the first set of readings, the unknown caller on the phone says "drop to level two for vertical" and latitudes are North/South.

If we're talking Western longitudes, notable landmarks include: Denver, Salt Lake City UT / Phoenix AZ / nearly Sedona AZ - aka where the telesphere went, Las Vegas, Lake Tahoe/ Nevada border, Great Salt Lake, Alberta-Saskatchewan border, and the Utah-Arizona border.

Or perhaps they're not part of terrestrial measurement at all. The act of "lateral reading" could just mean verifying your sources/accuracy as you go, where as vertical reading is reading for content first to see if something is worth evaluating for sources.

However, if they are part of coordinates, then is the fragment that Maddox is trading with Irina a legitimate "mapmaker" piece like George previously said Influx was seeking? Ya know, when he lied to his daughter. Can a mapmaker piece track moving/animate debris akin to the telesphere? Are those black dust cloud beings George is running from made up of animate debris?

Bryan: After becoming a parent you're in a heightened emotional state, emotionally raw.

George: Higher highs, lower lows, the joy of having a child, the postpartum depression, and the fear of getting it wrong.

Me: Are we in a pensive, self-reflective mood, George? Are you practicing your pub trivia Bryan, delivering exposition, or are you speaking from personal character experience? Seriously, how would you know?!

John Noble as Otto, man why does he always make such a good villain?

What is with the cryptic vagueness when Maddox tells Irina, "You know I can't let you leave with that case right? I mean you know that. There's another door for you Irina, one that only you can go through." They seemed almost on good terms in a previous episode, like friends or something more in a past life "nice car, i almost left / no you didn't", he wouldn't kill her, would he? Or is it more like a code between them, a sort of "I'm being watched, take the back exit"?

Hey, so why is it that sometimes George's eye seems opaque and damaged from the debris implant, but then when he's talking to Finola after he distracts Bryan while being Debris whisperer, his eye seems fine? PS: I googled Tyrone Benskin just to see what he looks like when he's not playing George Jones and I didn't know he's a former member of Canadian Parliament. Don't trust the government, eh?

George: "You're such a compassionate person, you always have been. So much of your mother in you." That's the second time that Finola's mother has been mentioned in the series, back from the pilot. Is it a coincidence that the first piece of debris that chose to interact with Finola resonated her mom? More than just Finola's desire being reflected by the debris, but the debris emoting it's first impression of her as someone compassionate that it can trust?

It also raises my heckles that George repeats, almost word for word, something that Finola said in episode 3. "If we can't help people, we do not deserve this debris / if we don't use this debris on these people, we are not worthy to have it." Are father and daughter that ideologically similar, or has he been spying on her progress this whole time, or both?

George: "I took my life to allow myself a rebirth, I paid the price. I want you to know that not one day goes by that I don't think of you and your sister. I want you to know this." This coincides with my initial impression that George staged his death to get away from Orbital after he assessed how his research was being used/abused.

George: "You never wanted to go into the pool, I had to throw you in, and you kicked and screamed, but you always did better that way." Immabout to throw you George, just keep talking!!!! I'm sorry, this charicature of absentee father reminiscing about the good old days really ticks me off from personal experience.

Also, as a person with a disability, I am not particularly pleased with the use of Dario as a plot device instead of a thoughtful character with a backstory at this point in the show for 13 whole episodes now. Pretty pissed off actually, so they better do something phenomenal and pivotal with Christian Rose (Dario) in season 2 [maybe have his character interact with debris in a similar way to Caroline]. But that's another rant about ableism in screenwriting for another angry day....

George: "A telesphere was born yesterday. It came from a pocket dimension inside Orbital. I think it's birth may have triggered the debris." This is perhaps the one-ish episode that I find George remotely interesting and also infuriating, particularly because of the way he speaks, like he's finally taken off the guise of the old, well-meaning eccentric and turned into a sharp, cunning, and at times calculatingly ruthless individual. I find it peculiar that he says a telesphere is born. Makes me think that the debris is not just part of a spacecraft, but a hybrid of the beings piloting that craft.

I get tremendous satisfaction from Finola head-butting people. This should continue.

I'm not familiar with all of the work of JH Wyman to know if this is a running theme or an ongoing joke. But does he keep his writing staff in a constant state of starvation? Is that why pieces of debris are called "Nachos", and why Influx has "Beans" to shield them from debris side effects, and why Bryan is always eating junk food? Should I be worried about the writer's room and start sending them healthy snacks?!? Just give me an SOS in the credit roll.

Speaking of: is the "Bean" that Finola ingested a piece of debris? Similar to the pieces of debris that fused with Anson Ash? Will it impart some physical benefits to her moving forward?

"I won't lose you again...you belong with me." What are you talking about George Jones, you made the conscious decision to leave your family. You didn't lose Finola, she lost you. In this version of reality at least. Or (unscripted backstory) did Jones and his wife separate prior to her death / was Finola brought up mostly by her mother? That doesn't seem the case if she was buying her father birthday presents and took it upon herself to settle his affairs after his death.

Why do the Influx Operatives Otto and Anson have tattoos on their hands, but not Loeb? Is he like the low end of the totem pole FNG who hasn't earned his stripes, hence why Otto gives him s***: aka "Careful you cretin. All the finesse of a butcher."

What is the hierarchy of Influx anyway? Despite being an anti-government "for the people/ elevate the human consciousness" organization they do still seem to have a governing hierarchy and Otto and George seem to be on the same level, pretty high in rank / they talk with confidence to each other like they go back a while.

What is that weird thing that Otto does with his hands to Bryan's head? What are all the weird things Otto does, including his massacre at the petrol station? Ick.

Why is it that Leob and George are freaked out by the black smoke (debris particle?) man, but Anson and Otto aren't? They seem to see them(?), but don't overtly react.

Bryan: "It seems like we're entering some kind of new phase." Gee where have I heard that one before? Oh yeah, the story of "Blackwater grandfather" and the black wind that they're still teasing endlessly while refusing to tether it into some kind of world building lore. Agggghh!

Lololol, Bryan and Finola's dynamic even in the midst of a very serious episode makes me laugh. "Devon Reese / two e's? / Two e's!" "This one smells like baby diapers. Almost as bad as the tech section of the plane/ You mean your section of the plane. / Almost." That zinger 👍

Paraphrasing Bryan: "[recapping, recap, and did I mention recap]...something about George doesn't feel right." Personal pet peeve: I HATE IT when episodes have intentional explanatory lines like this to point out the fact that we as audience are privy to information that the main characters aren't. Not only does it make the main characters seem less intelligent, it breaks the fourth wall a little bit and gives the impression that the audience, which is ahead of the plot, is not as intelligent and needs a reminder that we're ahead. Lackadaisical writing drives me nuts!!! I can't outright say that it's "bad" dialogue, but it's not a choice I would make if I wanted uninterrupted viewer immersion.

Finola: "My instincts are good" Me: You are an emotionally intelligent decision maker with gaping personal blind spots.

George: You belong with me, your father.

Finola: My father died six months ago, and you are not him.

Me: Chef's kiss 👏👏👏

Otto: "It would never have worked out with that girl [Finola], not in any iteration." Definitely makes me lean towards the fan theory that the alt!Finola in (presumably) suspensia in Sedona Arizona got plucked from another reality.

Surprisingly, the ending credit roll has no voiceover as all the previous episodes of the season have. Disappointed that there's no potential teaser to a season 2 if the show gets renewed. But I find it curious that the extras who were demonstrating emotional convergence were credited as: chess board persons. Not sure if that's relevant, but I definitely feel like this show is playing games with me and my emotions.

#nbc debris #debris 1x13 #debris spoilers #george jones #finola jones #bryan beneventi #celestial body #sci fi #high concept sci fi #questionable execution #this show guys #renew debris #but also I need to talk with JH Wyman

[rpd-rookie]

He Shouldn’t Have Done That (PART 2) - Leon S. Kennedy x Reader

Summary: Ever wondered what happened after your terrible fight with Leon in part 1. Well here is your answer.

Author’s Note: After receiving some messages telling me to write a sequel for "He Shouldn't Have Done That", there it is. But I must warn you, the angst is strong with this one. So get ready to cry! Oh, and I must warn you, that this chapter revolves around the theme of religion in addition to the theme of alcoholism and it also contain strong sexual terms. So if you're not okay with that, please don't read.

Tags: Angst / Alcohol Abuse; Alcoholism / Anxiety / Depression / Language / Explicit Sexual Content / Religion / Death and mourning.

  When Leon was a kid, his mother would take him to church every Sunday, dressed in his Sunday best, which was a fancy white shirt and a pair of trousers he was only allowed to wear on Sunday. Needless to say, he hated Sundays.   But his mother was such a good Christian, always wearing a silver cross around her neck, always having a Bible under her pillow. She’s the one who had told him to believe. She had told him to believe in God, in Jesus and Mary, in the Holy Trinity, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. She had told him to believe there was someone up there watching over him, judging him, someone capable of punishing him if he would ever misbehave, sin. Someone powerful, so powerful he could decide his destiny, his fate, his life, his death, and even his beyond. Someone who would accompany him to an heavenly residence after death, that sweet oh so beautiful paradise.         Yes, that’s what his mother had told him. And he had listened and followed her teachings to the letter, maybe even longer that he could remember. He had done it because nothing could bring his mother more happiness than him behaving like the sweet choirboy from the suburbs, and that’s all he wanted back then, make his mother happy.             But with all the horrors he had seen, Leon Scott Kennedy could not believe in any god anymore. He had buried all his belief, all his teachings - much to his sweet mother’s regrets - in the ashes of Raccoon City a long time ago. And with time, he even wondered if he had ever really believed in the first place.

“That city changed me, in more ways that I can think of. It turned me into the man I am today and sometimes I wonder who I would have become if I had just stayed home on that day instead of driving right into the hellish nightmare that was expecting me there.     Possibly, some city cop whose worst worry would have been to know if there was enough paper in the printer. Maybe it wouldn’t have been that bad, who knows? After all, that dude would have never become the mess I am today, that’s for sure. That dude would have never found comfort in alcohol. He would have never cast God away in favour of something able to help him reach some ephemeral paradise, something that just needed a glass to be worshipped, something that preferred cheers to amen. No, that dude would have had a nice quiet life in the suburbs with a lovely wife, two beautiful kids and a dog. And like my mother, he would have taken his charming perfect family to Church on Sunday. Would it have been better for me? For us? Maybe, cause surely, he wouldn’t have done the same mistakes I did”

7 weeks ago - D.S.O Headquarters – Washington DC

You couldn’t help but focus on the fancy pen relentlessly tapping against the glass table. Sitting at the end of the table, perfectly still, his old face appearing somewhat more rigid than usual, the President looked very impatient. And his annoyance was for once more than justified. Leon was terribly late, and by ‘terribly’ you meant ‘almost fifty minutes late’ to be more precise.   But the real problem was that he usually was never late. On the contrary, Leon was always the first person to arrive at morning meetings, most of the time carrying cups of coffee for each D.S.O agents including a special one for you: a large black coffee with extra foam on top and a small heart drawn next to your name on the cup, perfect to make you smile like an idiot - Your heart ached as you thought about it and realised there would be no more hearts drawn on your coffee cup now.

You discreetly glimpsed at your watch again, worried and imagining the worse. What if something happened to Leon? What if he drank too much again and fainted at home? Or worse, what if he had a car accident? After all, last time you heard him on your voicemail he sounded devastated and drunker than ever.     “I am sure Agent Kennedy must be stuck in traffic, Mr President.” Ingrid Hunnigan dared say in his defence. “Then why isn’t he answering his bloody phone?” The President slammed the pen against the table and let out an angry growl. Hunnigan mumbled, trying to find something to say but the President cut her off before she could even pronounce a word. “Let’s start without him.”           “Of course, Mr President.” She stood up and handed out a case file to each agent sitting at the table. When she got to you, she whispered, “Where is Leon?” You briefly looked at her and shook your head. She certainly didn’t know Leon and you had broken up. After all, it had only been a couple of days. “I don’t know.” You mouthed, trying to keep the nascent tears in your eyes.             She probably noticed how sad and worried sick you were since she pressed her hand on your shoulder before taking her place back next to the President to explain the content of the documents on the table. “An informer from the BSAA has recently sent us information concerning a possible …”

All of a sudden, the door of the meeting room opened widely, interrupting Hunnigan in her explanations. Leon had finally arrived. Seeing him instantly took a weight off your mind and you sighed, definitely relieved. But the relief was short.     “Sorry, I’m late.” His voice sounded off and rather somnolent. Hand still on the doorknob he looked at all of the persons around the table with half-lidded eyes. “Oh, seems like everyone is here. Must be a pretty damn important meeting then.” Oh no. Not now. Not here. Leon.         “Agent Kennedy. Thank you for finally honouring us with your presence.” The president declared with a cutting tone that cast a new chill in the meeting room.             “You’re welcome” Leon replied, definitely too drowsy to get the sarcasm.   You almost gasped, refusing to believe it was actually happening, and watched Leon stagger towards his usual seat next to Hunnigan. She silently gave him a file and discreetly poured him a glass of water to help him sober up a little since she had noticed – just like everyone else in this room – that your ex-boyfriend was mighty drunk. Then, she resumed her monologue, ignoring Leon’s grimace as he drank his water contrary to the President, who was glaring at him, and you, who were staring at his face, completely eating up by guilt and sorrow. Were you the one responsible for this? You thought that leaving him would probably help him realise his alcoholism not fall deeper in it.

Despite the huge level of alcohol running in his blood, Leon was astonishingly listening to the reunion with the biggest care. Actually, he was paying so much attention that when Ingrid Hunnigan pronounced his name and the words “Los Illuminados” in the same sentence he almost hit the roof. “This again? Seriously?” He cut her off, surprising everyone. “You want me to deal with that Spanish bullshit again? Is that what you’re going to say, Hunnigan? Like I haven’t done enough, already.” Ingrid suddenly didn’t know what to do with herself, shocked by Leon’s sudden anger towards her. He had never talked to her like that. That was not in his nature.         “Leon, please just let her finish before...” You whispered to calm him down, hoping he would cooperate. “Excuse me. You’re talking to me? You? Really.” He sneered, clearly angry. “I thought you didn’t want to talk to me anymore. After all, you haven’t been answering my calls since you dumped me.” You wanted to reply. But you knew that it would only aggravate the situation and make Leon angrier than he already was and the last thing you wanted was to make a scene or cause him more trouble.

“Is this a joke, Agent Kennedy?” The President growled and glared, definitely irritated by Leon’s behaviour. “No. The joke was your election, sir!” Oh God! Tell me he didn’t say that.             There was a sudden heavy silence. Everyone exchanged some aghast quick looks as the President was staring at Leon, his face reddened by anger, ready to burst. “Get out of here, Agent Kennedy. You are furloughed.” But Leon didn’t move and, with an air of defiance, simply replied “Whom are you going to send on your suicide mission if you kick me out? I’m the only one who can do the job here and you fucking know it.”     “Out! Out! Get out of here! I’ve had enough of you!” The President shouted, menacingly pointing his finger at Leon who remained still without batting an eyelid. “Leave this building now, Kennedy!” You decided to get up and grabbed Leon’s arm to lead him out. “Come on, Leon. You’re drunk. Let’s get you out to sober up a bit.” You said with an incredible calm but he refused to follow you “Of course I’m drunk. What else can I be? You left me. My job fucked me up. And I’m working with selfish assholes who clearly don’t care about that and want me to continue this fucking job till the day I die. So yeah, what else can I be if not drunk?”

“Gosh, if only I had known back then what the consequences of my actions would be, I would have never said those things or behaved like this. But regrets don’t matter. They don’t matter because it doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself I shouldn’t have done that, I know that there’s no turning back. I know that you will never come back. And I don’t blame you. I can’t blame you because the only person to blame here is me. And I don’t expect your forgiveness either. I know I don’t deserve it and how could you forgive me when even I can’t forgive myself? No, I expect nothing for you.”

3 weeks ago – In a bar somewhere in New York

He didn’t know her name and he was quite sure he hadn’t even asked before locking himself with her in the toilet. And truth to be told, he couldn’t care less. He didn’t need to know her name to take his pants down and he didn’t even need to hear a single word coming from a pretty mouth either. Actually, all he wanted that mouth of hers to do was to keep sucking him off right now. Yes, that’s all he wanted. Hand in her black hair, his head against the dirty wall, he was feeling dizzy with pleasure … and alcohol, especially alcohol. A routine he had grown even fonder of since he had been furloughed. “Yeah, right, suck that cock, you dirty slut.” How many glasses had he had since he entered that bar? Six? Eight? Meh, better not thinking about it right now. “That’s it.”

His cell phone suddenly vibrated on the floor, the blue light of the screen catching his weak attention. He managed to read “Hunnigan” and sighed. “What the hell does she want?” He mumbled, annoyed. “What did you say?” The girl asked but he chose not to answer and instead shove his cock back in her mouth. But the phone kept on buzzing on the grimy tiles and Leon couldn’t take his mind or his eyes off it, his professionalism getting the better of his drunken self. “Fuck” He cursed as he bent to grab the device, pushing the girl away from him, making her lose her balance and fall on her rear.     “Better be important, Hunnigan.” He immediately said, annoyance tinting his drunken voice.         “Leon.” Her voice was strangled and trembling. It didn’t take a genius to get she had been crying. And Leon knew that if Hunnigan was crying then something terrible had certainly happened. “Give me a second, Hunnigan.”

He quickly pulled his jeans back up and pushed the door of the toilet, leaving his brief conquest high and dry on the floor. “Where are you going?” She squealed but he didn’t listen. He got out of the bar to find a quiet place, phone still against his ear, listening to his partner sniff on the other side of the line. “Alright. What’s going on? Do you need anything?” He was worried. Maybe something had happened to her. “No” She said, her voice shuddering even more than before. “Where are you? Are you alone?” She asked.   “Yeah. I’m outside a bar, in New York. Why?” He dared ask, impatient yet apprehensive to know what was actually going on. “Sit” He frowned and froze. That didn’t sound good. Nothing is ever good when someone tells you to sit down. “Hunnigan.” “ Y/N is dead.”

It was as if someone heavy and massive had instantly dropped on him, as if something had punched his stomach and crushed his chest in a single move, preventing him from breathing, preventing his heart from beating, preventing all his members from moving.               That was not possible. This couldn’t be happening. This was a dream, a nightmare or a perhaps hallucination cast by alcohol. But as soon as Leon heard Hunnigan saying his name again, he knew this was too real for this to be the mere fruit of  his imagination or his subconscious.         “How?” It was the only word that he managed to say, feeling too numb to make a complete sentence right now. “Leon that wasn’t your fault.” “How?” He insisted. He wanted to know. He needed to know. He needed to know why you would never come back to him, why he would never see you again, kiss you again. But foremost, he needed to know who was the son of a bitch responsible for it.   “ In a mission in Spain.”

His phone immediately fell to the humid ground, breaking in a thousand pieces just like Leon’s whole body. His knees bent under the sudden weight of pain, anger and guilt and soon he collapsed to the sidewalk, completely appalled, tears flooding his blue eyes.  

He had done this. It was his fault. All his fault.          

Disoriented and panting, he started looking all around him for something, anything that could help him get out of this hell. But there was nothing and he was alone. He would forever be alone now.          

He had killed you. You were dead because of him.    

Leon screamed, face reddened by rage, angry tears flowing down his face. His fists hit the ground repeatedly, hard, so hard, his knuckles started bleeding. But he didn’t care. He didn’t even see it. He couldn’t feel that pain either. The only pain he could feel right now was the one from his heart being torn out from his chest, a pain that would ultimately leave an emptiness he would never be able to fill ever again. But he wanted to feel pain. He wanted to feel that precise pain, finding it a fitting punishment for everything he had done that had lead to this moment, that had led to your death.

Was it God punishing him? Was his mother right all along? Was He making him pay for what the pain he had brought you, for all the mistakes he had done, for choosing to worship a fucking bottle of whisky instead of Him? Was it his plan all along?

“IS THAT WHAT YOU FUCKING WANTED?” Leon shouted on his knees, looking at the menacing stormy sky.

He bent over the sidewalk, head in his arms, sobbing and sniffing loudly, moaning your name, begging you to come back. “Please don’t leave me here.” But just like God, when Leon was a little boy praying with his mother at the Sunday mass, you didn’t answer. “I’m sorry.”             He had never wanted this to happen to you. He had never wanted your life to end like this. All he had ever wanted for you was your happiness even if it meant a long and beautiful life without him. Because if a bottle of whisky smashed against the wall had made him realise one thing is that you deserved to find the person that could love you better than him, a person to worship you just as his mother worshipped God and he worshipped his liquor. Because you were the only thing worth worshipping in this goddamn world, the only thing he would gladly believe in. Because, if religion was meant to bring comfort, if God was truly there to watch over him, judge him and punish him as his mother had told him then you were his God all along.       After all, who if not you brought him the comfort when he needed it? Who if not you watched over him when he was in a very bad way? Who if not you judged him when he needed to be judged and no one dared to do it? Who if not you can make him fall on his knees like a pilgrim and wish for a paradise just to have the hope he would one day see you again?          

He stayed on that sidewalk for at least an hour on that night, still and quiet, completely empty, feeling the rain pour on him, until two policemen sent by Hunnigan went to look for him. “Are you okay, sir?” No, no he was not. And he wasn’t even sure he would be okay ever again. But he eventually got better.

“ I haven’t had a single drink in three weeks. Hunnigan says that I should feel proud but I don’t. Because look what I needed to quit.”

Leon looked at the flowered marble tomb at his feet, staring at your name with an intense sadness and melancholy he would never be able to get rid of. He had taken him a while to come here, refusing to step a foot in this cemetery even for you funeral because that would be admitting your death and he couldn’t do that. But that he was here, he couldn’t help but acknowledge how cathartic talking to you was.

“ I’m leaving for Spain tomorrow. President’s order. I guess that despite being a complete asshole he is not very resentful. I have no idea what’s expecting me there but I promise you, I’ll find whoever is responsible your death and I’ll make them pay. They will learn they shouldn’t have done that.”

#leon s kennedy #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x reader #fanfic #resident evil #resident evil vendetta

[lexs-movie-review-and-views]

Movies I watched in January 2021.

(only includes movies I watched for the first time)

 A stranger outside (directed by Jake Helgren) – 2018 (12) 2½ stars.

This film is a who is it/who did it movie about a girl named Daphne (played by Brittney Underwood) who is babysitting a young boy called Toby (played by Jet Jurgensmeyer) whose parents are out of town.

I gave it a low rating since I found it very dumb and the acting is not good, a hard movie to take seriously, the characters are also very stupid, and it is an overall very predictable movie.

But saying that, I would still recommend if you want to watch a movie you can make fun of and like seeing family bonds being made (between the babysitter and the boy). It is also a good movie if you want to get into horrors/thrillers or get someone else into them.

*spoilers*

The main reasons I found this a dumb movie is how obvious it was that the maid was the killer, like, what maid only cleans the kitchen and does it in less than 5 minutes? She was also an overall bad killer and felt like a very lazy try.

Also, the girls reaction to everything, I don’t understand why they didn’t lock all the doors and how Daphne walked through the door that she put the windchime, a very dumb move. Also, Daphne’s friends when being killed, I could not wait for the scene to be over, she wasn’t doing a particularly good job at trying to escape.

*spoilers done*

Uncle frank (directed by Alan Ball)– 2020 (15) 5 stars.

This film is about an 18-year-old named Beth (played by Sofia Lillis) who travels back from Manhattan to her hometown Creek Ville, South Carolina, with her uncle Frank (played by Paul Bettany) for a funeral and end up being joined by his boyfriend (Played by Peter Macdissi).

I gave this film such a high rating because of how real this movie feels and how the acting feels so pure and you can tell that they put effort into this. I also just really love family connections in movies. It is just such a beautiful movie, made me cry so much. This film also really highlights how much Frank is terrified of his parents fining out he is gay.

I just highly recommend this movie. Anything I say will not do this film justice.

*spoilers*

The main scenes that really stuck out to me where: 1) The flash back scenes between young Frank and past lover Sam. Mainly the scene where his dad (played by Stephen Root) catches them together one night. And he didn’t the relationship his son had with the other boy, which sends Frank into a panic. This scene also shows the type of man his dad was and how that impacted Frank.

2) The will reading where Frank is outed. This scene really pinpoints how much hatred Franks dad had towards him. In this scene you can also see the sheer panic he has and doesn’t want to stick around and find out what is family will say.

*spoilers done*

Deadly detention (directed by Blair Hayes) – 2017 (15) 1 star.

This film is about 5 high school students; the ‘hot girl’ Lexi (played by Alex Frnka), ‘hot boy’ Barrett (played by Henry Zaga), the ‘sporty female jock’ Jessica (played by Sarah Davenport), ‘the skateboarder’ Taylor (played by Jenifer Robyn Jacobs) and the ‘presumed gay, Christian’ with his bejewelled bible named Kevin (played by Coy Stewart), who all have Saturday detention. Their detention takes place in a now closed prison with someone trying to kill them.

I gave the film such a low rating since its just bad. The script is awful, the characters are written so poorly, I can’t believe this movie was able to be realised, it is also very predictable, you are able to tell who the killer is within the first 10 minutes.

This movie gave me the vibe of a poorly rewrite of ‘the breakfast club’ if it was a horror in prison. But if you want something you can watch to laugh at and not take seriously then you could watch this.

*spoilers*

The main things that really annoyed me with this film are not that the killer was obviously the cop but that:

1)    Barrett never stops smiling! Someone is trying to kill him, and he doesn’t even care.

2)    Taylor and her skateboard, she can’t even ride properly, she should have left it, it’s not important.

3)    Keven and his light up shoes, and how he had to make sure they were on the same colour, he should leave them alone and hide.

4)    And just the fact that Barrett and Lexi care more about hooking up than trying to escape a killer, especially when Berrett is already dating Jessica.

*spoilers done*

Deadpool (directed by Tim Miller) – 2016 (15) 4 stars.

This film is about a man named Wade Wilson (played by Ryan Reynolds), who wants to get revenge on a man named ajax/Francis (played by Ed Skrein) for experimenting on him to cure Wades cancer and to give him healing abilities, but it ends up leaving him disfigured.

I gave this movie a high rating because of how it managed to include multiple genres at once; for example, this film included, action, a little gore, comedy, raunchy and romance. Also, the uses of breaking the fourth wall, I think was done particularly well.

Other things I like about this film is that he does not call himself a hero, because he does not want to be and at the end of the day, he isn’t one, but he’s also not a villain.

*spoilers*

An example of this is right near the end when Colossus is giving that classic ‘you can be a hero’ hero speech, Deadpool shoots Ajax. Because killing him was what the main plot of the film was.

*spoilers done*

Soul (directed by Pete Doctor) – 2020 (PG) 3½ stars.

This film is about the journey of jazz piano player/middle school teacher, Joe Gardner (voiced by Jamie Foxx), who experiences a near death experience that gets him trapped in the afterlife, trying to reunite his soul and body, who is landed the responsibility to be the mentor to the soul, 22 (voiced by Tina Fey), who needs to find her spark to be sent to earth.

I gave this movie a middle rating because I like what it portrays – where your dreams come from, where your interests come from, also that for some, it can take a lot longer than others to figure out what they are. However, I feel like this film feel flat the longer it went on, it also feels like the people working on this got bored at the end and did not care anymore. Could as well be due to do with the fact that there were a couple things I thought would happen and make more sense but did not happen.

But its still, at the end of the day a cute, funny, family movie and great for kids to learn that they should do what they love and its okay if they take longer than others to figure out what they love to do.

*spoilers*

Examples of what I thought would happen/hoped would happen that would have made sense to be in the film are:

1)    I was expecting that Joe was going to realise that he liked being a teacher. The flash backs really set up that was going to happen but then I just did not.

2)    I was hoping that we would get a time skip to a few years later and joe and the person that 22 went into would meet. I was expecting that the happen from the beginning.

*spoilers done*

Adventures in babysitting/A night in the town (directed by Chris Columbus) – 1987 (12 or pg. if you watch the Disney + cut) 4 stars.

This film is about 17-year-old Chris Parker (played by Elisabeth Shue) who is babysitting 8-year-old Sara Anderson (played by Maia Brewton) and her 15-year-old brother, Brad (Played by Keith Coogan), but ends up in a night full of adventures, along with Brad’s friend, Daryl (played by Anthony Rapp), due to Chris needing to pick up her friend, Brenda (played by Penelope Ann Miller).

I gave this movie a high rating because I think it’s a nice funny, sweet movie. I has great family like bonds between them all, which I love to see, and it makes you feel good watching it.

What I liked in this film was that it felt like it wasn’t trying to be realistic and because of that anything so unrealistic that happens feels normal.

I do highly recommend this movie to anyone who likes comedic adventurous films.

*spoilers*

One thing I liked that I found funny was how the gang was trying to capture the kids and Chris all because of the Playboy.

I also really love the scene when we find out Chris’s boyfriend, mike (played by Bradley Whitford), was cheating and after Brads speech about Chris then says he isn’t going to hurt mike because he is a bigger person, Daryl kicks mike. I think the main reason I loved this scene was because it really shows how different each character is from each other, but they still have a great friendship.

One thing that did annoy me about this film was Chris and Dan together at the end. It would have been okay for me, but she broke up with her boyfriend that night. Also, we don’t know how old Dan is, all we know is he is in collage and Chris is 17 in high school.

*spoilers done*

Z-O-M-B-I-E-S (directed by Paul Hoen) – 2018 (pg.) 4½ stars.

This film is about a zombie named Zed (played by Milo Manheim) and a human cheerleader named Addison (played by Meg Donnelly) who become close very quickly and need to hide that due to the fact that humans still believe that zombies are evil monsters.

I gave this film a high rating due to the how this movie made me feel, it quickly became a comfort movie for me, if you watch it you will understand where I’m coming from.

I also want to point out that yes, this is a very cheesy movie but its Disney channel, what else do you expect?

And despite it being the classic Disney channel cheese it is, I would like to pinpoint that it covers issues I think kids should learn about, for example; discrimination, not to pay attention to stereotypes and rumours also not to bully someone and just because they may be ‘different’

Highly recommend to all kids and anyone older if they love cheesy films.

*spoilers*

I have seen that some people don’t like the fact that Addison compared her hair would get her treated the same way Zed gets does, and I can see where they come from but to me, I interpret Addison’s hair and wig as real things people can hide about themselves, so they don’t get treated badly and zombies as something that people can’t hide about themselves.

*spoilers done*

Z-O-M-B-I-E-S 2 (directed by Paul Hoen) – 2020 (pg.) 2 ½ stars

This film is about werewolves coming to Seabrook/Zombietown due to their charms running out of their powers, needing to find the moon stone with help from a whitehaired teenager.

I gave this movie a low rating mainly due to how much it disappointed me. I expected much more, especially because of how the first one was amazing. This film felt very fast paced and felt like they didn’t put as much effort into it.

But saying that I do recommend watching, it’s still a fun time watching.

*spoilers*

Examples of what annoyed me in this movie was;

1.     How the zombies as well as the humans automatically assumed the werewolves where evil. You would have thought that the zombies would be more understanding since humans thought that about them before and that humans wouldn’t have jumped to that conclusion as they were wrong about zombies.

2.     The ban on all monsters when the zombies didn’t do anything wrong.

3.     How bucky went back to hating zombies. I don’t understand why because at the end of the first movie he realised zombies aren’t bad.

4.     Eliza should have ran for school resident! Mainly due to her having such strong views I feel like she would have taken it very seriously.

*spoilers done*

Official secrets (directed by Gavin Hood) – 2019 (15) 3¾ stars

This film is about the true events of Katherine Gun (played by Kira Knightly), who is a British intelligence specialist and leaked secret information about an illegal NSA spy operation made to urge the UN security council to give approval for the 2003 invasion of Iraq, to the press hoping to avoid this from happening.

I gave this movie this rating due to how it keeps you engaged in what is happening, despite it being a sort of slow burn. Also, from what I heard it stayed true the real events (I’m 17 so I wasn’t old enough to remember it myself) and I like how it used the actual news footage.

This movie is also easy to follow and to know what’s happening.

I highly recommend this film if you love learning about true events/find them interesting.

The green mile (directed by Frank Darabont) – 1999 (18) 5 stars

This film is about Paul Edgecomb (played by Tom Hanks and Dabbs Greer), the commanding officer of the death row cellblock at Cold Mountain Penitentiary in Louisiana, who meets inmate, John Coffey (played by Michael Clarke Duncan), who has been accused of murdering two young girls. Paul’s life isn’t the same when he discovers John’s special gifts.

I gave this movie such a high rating because it’s just such a masterpiece of a movie. The actors did an amazing job at portraying their characters and made sure you like the characters your meant to like, despite what they did in the past and dislike the characters your meant to dislike.

This movie also gave me so many emotions, for example, one moment I’m really happy and the movie is making me feel good then the next I can’t stop crying.

Despite the rating being an 18+, I would recommend to anyone 15+.

*spoilers*

I would like to state that the mouse, Mr. Jingles is my favourite character so, if you have seen it, you can guess that when Percy (played by Doug Hutchinson) stepped on the poor thing busted into tears and then when John healed him, I started crying even more because I was so happy.

I also thought the ending to the film was very poetic in the way the Paul is still alive and that being his curse, and having to see everyone he cares about die, due to John being executed despite, in the end, being innocent.

*spoilers done*

 Those are all the movies I watched this month. Please know that these are my opinions, and its perfectly okay of you have different ones.

This is the first time I have ever done something like this so please let me know how I can improve. And let me know your thoughts. 

#A Stranger Outside #jake helgren #uncle frank #Allen ball #deadly detention #Blair Hayes #deadpool #tim miller #soul #pete doctor #adventures in babysitting #a night in the town #chris columbus #z-o-m-b-i-e-s #zombies #paul hoen #z-o-m-b-i-e-s 2 #zombies 2 #official secrets #gavin hood #the green mile #frank darabont #movie rating #movie review #movies #movie rant #movie ratings

[bigmafluff]

Unreal Love Story “Henry Cavill” chapters 1-3

Sequel To My Story “Tom Hiddleston”

Summery

“ Tom Dear ! She is gone!” His mother says when her son barges thru her front door. Diana Hands a sobbing Charlie to His Stunned father Leading  them into the house to a computer sitting @ her kitchen table with a flash drive in it.    Just as Tom is about to say something . His Mom hush's them both and starts the video.   I start with calming Charlie through the computer.  “ Hello Little one . I'm am sorry I have to leave you so. But You are a strong young man . Sometimes even stronger than your father at times. Just know that I love you dear one and will always be your special friend . Now dry those tears and Go see Nanna . So Your dad and I can talk.” I said to Charlie thru the computer. Tom Knew after that our relationship was over maybe had been over for a while.

Chapter 1 

Numbness,& NASCAR

I couldn't Stay in London. It hurt too much all I saw was pain. I couldn't go home yet still felt like I failed myself some how so home wouldn't work. So I numbed myself out in Cali.   I did what I swore I wouldn't. I went full Party Girl. Between the parties ,clubs, Bars I was wasted most of the time.  But I knew that being In Love Like this before then Losing love has it's down side . Tom and I had been it for 3 years. But towards the end I was more His son's nanny than his girlfriend . Most of his friends warned me this was one sided . He never got over Sophia Di Marino ,Charlie's Mom. The split was Mutual. I'm Not mad to be truthful. Annoyed really that I let it go on this long ..

So California I went , to numb the hurt. I don't give a rat's ass what they say about better to have Loved crap ! It still hurt's dammit!  So Party Shannon I became. I still wrote my stories without impairment. By day I was the mildly hungover writer coffee in hand . Luca was still Daydreaming so I was still writing. But @ night Let's just say in the great words of Bill & Ted .” Party on Dudes” So I did. Shaking my ass Beer in hand in a club in south beach !  Rockin' out to Pink. I am vaguely aware I am Jamming with a rather large Englishmen Go Figure ! He has a familiar tone I can't place ,frankly all I see is curls ,beard & muscle , Cause I'm too drunk and don't care but he was hot and can grind Like no other. But even though I was no lady ,he was a gentleman And at the end of the night I was in my Hotel room clothes and dignity intact.

Woke the next morning with another hangover that I never use to get when I was younger. They still Suck! UGH! I'm about to start typing when I get a feed from TMZ. “TWH PROPOSES TO SDM!” I switch on my TV and sure enough The rock on her finger is massive and Charlie Looks so Happy .   The numbness lifts along with the pain . I can see the sun again so I finally pack my stuff .

But not for England . I head home. I decide I need time with my son . So Arkansas, Hot Springs that is.  Although when I get there I find out my son is in Florida . In Daytona Beach. At the Racetrack!  My nephew Christian and his wife Kiki took Lucas to a NASCAR race and Somehow Lucas Landed a job as head mechanic for Carlos Contreras's race team. Shocked as I was,  I get on a flight to Florida it is a good shocked but WOW.  I got a Hotel room and then went to the track . Took me a little convincing to get in  . Security walked me to the Pit where I found my baby boy covered in grease. Under a car . When Lucas jumped up and hugged me they left us alone . test moment's in a parent's life is seeing your child seceded at something he loves. This was Lucas's dream !Like writing is for me. It was his turn. Lucas Introduced me to Carlos with sparkles in his eyes . Carlos seemed to Like what My  Son does. Even tells me that Because of my Boy, Carlos has won 8 races. How more proud can I get I am in tears.  While I was here I went to a few races and Lucas and I raided the theme parks. Then one night Lucas had a grown up moment and told me I had to go back to the U.K.. He said I write my best stuff there and I need to make peace with Myself. How did my Autistic Son get so smart. Then he tells me. He is a big Guy now and He didn't need his Mom to hover.

Chapter 2

Something New

So once I'm back in London. I dust off My flat that Luke made sure I got despite me moving in with Tom. Besides writing, a few friend's gave me the intro to the London night life and I found a outlet to unwind . But I didn't drown myself like in Cali. But I still maintained my Party Mama status. Also I am exercising regularly, to compensate for the Night life . But I found that I have way's now that I am Back to make exercising fun. I do the Gym of course. But I also like rollerskating in Hyde or St. James park, when it's sunny. I found a Ice Skating rink that is 7 day's a week.  And there is a indoor pool at the Gym I go to. .

But I realized some things while I was home in the states. I can't ever forget where I came from . So I pay it forward to 4 special organizations for charity and I never write them off my taxes . I went back to church I actually found a Nazarene church in the U.K. Honestly Church is what keeps me semi sober in the clubs on Friday and Saturday. No hangovers in Gods house .So I have been busy. By maintaining the order of my life like I did way before when My soul purpose was being a MOM. God, Family Friends career is a new addition but not that high on the list.  

I found a way to keep myself going .My heart has even healed to a point and I am actually making good friends with “ The Hiddleston “ I can't even comprehend The fact that Sophia took Tom's name . I didn't think her agent's would let her do that. Any how I Am officially Aunty Shannon to Charlie and he even still talks to Lucas and they talk cars regularly according to Tom. As for right now though I'm actually doing more than writing I am at The Harold Pinter theater in London as a Producer and assistant to Kenneth Branaugh the director of a play Based on one of my fan fiction stories .  It's a Vampire Love story with a family twist.  No Not Twilight no blood sucking fairies here. But what has me excited is the cast . Tom is in it along a whole bunch of my fave idol's Including Henry Cavill as the male lead. . OK! I fibbed Kenny doesn't need me the whole time so I am writing when I am not teaching Charlie Who is acting for the first time. Tom is One Proud Papa! I will tell you what. And Charlie Looks like he is having a wonderful time despite playing a Girl demon!

also I do have a little Mystery of my own I am trying to solve. Every morning when I get to work. Yes I'm getting paid for this production. I go to my seat and drink my coffee but I find a different colored long stem lily in the seat . I asked Tom. If Charlie was doing it and I even ask Ken. None said It was them. Both even offered to investigate with me . Saying they have a little experience because they played P.I.'s

I was actually flattered I had an admirer. I just hope I won't regret taking the Lily more seriously. Anyway The play is gearing up for opening night I called Lucas's aide Reed to Se if He will be able to be in London for my Play . Which If it does well it will head to the States and go on Broadway.  Now tell me if that ain't totally awesome. I.K.R.  We as far as my Book's are concerned Luca start's Middle School. So Social interaction and puberty mixes in with his amazing world which should make for a wild ride for our readers. My honorary nephew is even reading them which make's my heart sing  Oh! So I don't leave it out my lily was Aquamarine and silk today not real but it had a pink bow and it sparkled . He-he! Who ever this is knows I like things that sparkle. It makes me giddy.

Opening Night!!!!

My Lucas is here . Looking Just Like he did Prom Night When he took my god daughter to the prom. My boy is So handsome. Lucas has been working out so My lucas is Tall and Jacked thanks to His Buddy Phillip Hull. We get to ride in a Limo It will be Lucas's first time in one. Me! I'm In all Red  Long red hair with a touch of gray at the temple and proud of it. A Long Jessica rabbit dress that sparkles in the light. Red flat's I ain't that crazy . It's gonna be a long night and I am in my 50's   Heels are not in the program. I had red cloves and a red silk Shaw. I felt amazing and all my boy could say is Wow mama Look Pretty! LOL! I am also excited not only for the play but according to the Little note I got with My Red Rose that was sitting in my seat on the last day of practice. I get to meet my admirer tonight too

So Lucas and I are off Lucas is Like a school boy Looking around and he is also a little nervous. I can tell he Keeps Playing with his collar and tie. I made sure Luke had a pair of ear buds and his fave music in a MP3. And sunglasses to help with Lucas's experience. Plus so he doesn't have to deal with the red carpet stuff Reed is here so Lucas will be with me only for a few pictures then Reed  will take him inside while I deal with the popularity this sold out play has caused . New York here we come!!!!!!

  Lucas went inside as planned. And Luke is by my side in his place as my escort. Luke felt I shouldn't be alone. Because of the split and Tom's marriage. Even though Tom and I are cool talking about and he is even here with Taylor so I'm cool. I was having lot's of fun taking little interview's and pictures and such. Luke always said I was surprisingly  easy going in the lime light and it shows tonight. `Sophia , Ken and I had some fun with the photo people and Kissed Each side of Tom's cheeks while he was trying to pic up Kenneth, then we Bent down to Kiss Ken's cheeks when Tom dropped him on his butt ,our booties where purposely in the air.  Let's Just say we made Kenny's night! I was all in good fun  Tom told me that Charlie was inside with new Hot wheels car's to show Lucas cause they are NASCAR ones.

Finishing up the pictures and fixing to go inside I was about to give up hope on there being an admirer. When I went to take one last. Picture, Henry Cavill came to Join me in the picture and whispered in my ear to Look down, as he grabbed my waist for the picture . I did. And their was a pink Lily and a white rose in his hand tied in a pink bow. Let's Just say that pic had my mouth hanging open and Henry laughing as we went in to the theater.  Let the new dance begin.

Lois Lane never Got Superman this way Ha! 

Chapter 3

Don't jump! One moment @ a Time.

As far as the play went it was as major success. I couldn't pay attention at all . I was staring at Henry the whole time In awe of all of this.As far as I was concerned it was like I had never tasted this before . I won't lie, it scares the shit out of me .  I was a ball of nerves the whole play . It was Thomas all over again. @ least that was what I thought. Until Henry asked if I would sign a book for is Nephews Daughter who has Down syndrome. I was politely surprised . He then introduced himself to my Son. Which Lucas can recognize any actor who has ever played a Superhero or villain . Henry was one of our faves. He asked if we wanted to grab a bite to eat . Lucas always could eat. Even in his 30's endless Belly! Can you see 3 adult's in fancy dress in Mc. Donald's. I Loved it Because Henry took the liberty to date Lucas first. To me that Mc. Donald's was 5 stars. The Limo dropped 2 very full and sleepy men at My son's Hotel.  I was sparkling in happiness. We pulled up in front of my flat but Henry wouldn't let me out yet. I think he wants to talk . So naturally I listened. 

fore I could even say anything He Quieted me and held my hand .  Baby Blues connected. Then he spoke. “ Shannon I know what you went through with Hiddleston. I grilled him after meeting you . Actually I'm kinda surprised he didn't rat me out. Story for another time. Now that you understand my intent. I want time. Time to know you. Also before you get nervous, will it help If I got permission from Lucas to date you and Charlie Hiddleston second's the permission. I'm normally a prideful Man But Shannon something inside Tell's me I am supposed to started something new with You. I want get to know you Date you proper. If anything let's see where it goes. Even if we don't connect more personally . We can at least catch a grind to a tune and groove like buddies”.

My breath hitch because I just realize that dude I was grinding with in California at that club. The English Dude. That was Henry!!!!! He notices my blush and Shakes his head showing me the bracelet. I smack his shoulder Laughing my Blush off. Then I told him I am willing to try and if all else fails Partying in New York won't get boring . Then he kissed my Palm and let me out . I gave him my # and told him to give me a call when he was ready to try. The Limo waited till I was Inside. But instead of Leaving The door opened and Henry came running up to me . Grabbed my waist, pulled me close and Kissed me.  We exploded!!!!

Hand in Hand at JFK airport Henry and I go straight to the Hotel .  No Not for that .  We came early so Henry  could as he says Court me proper. LOL!   There is nothing I'd rather do the then run all over NYC for the first time with Henry. I have jumped in fully no comparing to any other love . This is true Eros and I'm going with the flow. That was our agreement for each  other  the next morning after the Play. To Just Love & enjoy till the fluffy lady quits singing.

I exploded because of SuperMan!

{None of this story is real the pic are from Googles images !!!!!!!!!!!!}

[jisvnq]

OK SO LIFE UPDATE!!! So me and my mom have this tradition of getting coffee together every Saturday morning and since I just turned 15 and I’ve been asking her to teach how to drive since I was 14 she decided THAT SHES GOING TO TEACH ME HOW TO DRIVE EVERY SATURDAY TOO!!!!!AUDHEIEJENSJIWKSB- plus I really wanna get my permit so I can drive around my mom and stuff like a chauffeur AND TOO RUB IN MY OLDER SISTER AND BROTHERS FACE THAT THE YOUNGEST SIBLING GOT THEIR PERMIT when they just turned 15- and brother literally called my mom asking for help on his permit test like 2 or 3 years ago so if she doesn’t help me then that’s just favoritism and she proclaimes she doesn’t have favorites when we all know it’s ME.....jk jk (kinda) and this weekend my mom said she would take me too the bookstore since we didn’t get to go last weekend :( OH AND ON MY BIRTHDAY MY MOM, SISTER, BROTHER, MY SISTERS HUSBAND, AND HIS NEPHEW THREW ME A SURPRISE PARTY!!!! oh and even though I don’t have to tell you this I want to anyway because 1.) I’m ranting and 2.) I’m comfortable with you and I trust you!! Ok so for the couple months almost a year we’ve been living with my mom’s fiancé’s mom, his sister, and his sisters daughter (we nvr get along with each other) and everytime my mom puts in an application for an apartment or a house they never have room or something came up because of STUPID (ง'̀-'́)งCOVID but a week ago my mom put in another application which is also where her best friend who is also my god mother stays at with my god brother and sister (fun fact: my mom has been friends with my god mother since they were in middle school and now there both 43- like WOW and her kids are so nice like me and her son are 2 years apart and her daughter who I’m older than are also two years apart) so fingers crossed 🤞🏽 we get in!! Because I’m not really comfortable at where we are now because his mom is a HARDCORE CHRISTIAN and I’ve been talking to her about lgbtq+, BLM, and other things like that and everytime she says she doesn’t want me to be like the people in the lgbtq+ community because they’re gods enemy but newflash based on what she says I already am because I’m bisexual and this one time I asked her if she didn’t know me would I look like a boy or a girl and she asked me “do you wanna be a boy?” And I said no I was just asking and then she dismissed me telling me to put on some girly clothes and earring when I’m literally having issues with my gender I LITERALLY HAD A PANIC ATTACK AFTER THAT CONVERSATION WHEN I GOT BACK INTO THE ROOM I WAS STAYING IN and I can barybe in the same room with any of them without getting nervous or anxious because I’m not comfortable around them AT ALL, and this one time when I was somewhat comfortable around I told her that I had Social anxiety and depression and she told me to go READ THE BIBLE because if I do then I wouldn’t have that anymore and in my mind I was like: 👁👄👁- what? But anyways enough about that update me on your life and thingz- 🥺 anon

SCREAMS CUTIE'S LIFE UPDATE YES

coffee together every saturday help that is so cute 🥺🥺🥺🥺 anD YOU GET TO LEARN HOW TO DRIVE NOW???????? COOL?????????? and you had a surprise party 🥺🥺

i'm so glad you're comfortable with me and trust me oh my god 🥺 and IKR THOSE KINDS OF FRIENDS ARE AMAZING OMG (tmi my mom has this one friend from when they were in kindergarten and they lived just across each other so they always hung out together every weekend and they're still friends until now and they're 44 🥺🥺 they got married roughly around the same time and had kids nearly at the same time too skfjjs and we still go to visit them every weekend despite our houses being like quite far away lol)

sjdhfjd but that kind of thing? omg HARDCORE CHRISTIAN ?? pls i go to a catholic school (where i know a bunch of lgbtq+ people) and i'm pretty sure the point they're trying to teach in catholicism is to ACCEPT EVERYONE ??? and omg why's she there telling you what to wear and what to do when your own mother is literally fine with it ??????

AND YES THAT'S ANOTHER THING like my teachers once told my parents about me being so quiet and me shaking every time i'm told to present for a group and they just brushed it off, got mad at me when we got home, told me i shouldn't embarrass them like that, then they proceeded to tell me that people who have depression and anxiety are weak and they have weak faith in God so i should start reading the bible and pray instead... i s w e a r...

i'm literally part of the bible quiz group every year and istg i used to read that thing everyday, i go to a catholic school so we're always praying, but i swear when i begin shaking and stuttering like mad in front of people, nothing's helping me there. like ik it does for others, like one of our teachers who ACTUALLY TRIED HELPING ME WITH THIS SHAKING PROBLEM OF MINE, but idk it just doesn't for me and i'm sure it doesn't for others as well...

sometimes it just makes me wonder how some people think that just because this one thing this one way works for them, it'll suddenly work for every single human being on this planet omg 🤦‍♀️

cutie i love you and please don't feel forced to do anything by that godmother of yours... ik you probably aren't, but if that happens again i think you can tell your mother 🥺 like maybe tell her it's making you uncomfy so she could probably talk to her friend about it ?

#buzz buzz mail for z #🥺 anon #so much tmi but i need to get that out of my head somehow lol #also like the 2nd to the last paragraph on ppl thinking what works for then WILL work on others #there's some people ik thinking that aliens don't exist bcs other planets don't have what we have on earth like... #like what if we need oxygen and oxygen is deadly to them? what if we need water to live and our water is poisonous to them? #like what if that crazyass high temp in venus and its atmosphere is deadly to us but is what THEY need to live? #i'm just on my aliens exist for mfing sure agenda #and like what the almighty kang taehyun from txt said: #'saying there's no aliens in the universe is the same as scooping water from the ocean in your hands & saying theres no fish' #i WILL push my aliens agenda #also i just woke up and my conscience is still flying all over the place lmao #my brain fly fly high high or some shit idk whats up with me either

[theparanormalperiodical]

Black Cats And Broken Mirrors: The Forgotten History Behind 13 Common Superstitions feat. 4 Cray-Cray Bonus Beliefs That You Didn’t Know Existed

It’s safe to say I’m a superstitious person.

I run a blog about the paranormal, for god’s sake.

Everyday I find myself touching wood, crossing my fingers, and hoping that magpie I can see just over there has a friend nearby to make a pair.

But in the same vein I’m obsessed with things that aren’t quite so lucky: I’m currently donning a pair of subtle black cat slippers, and I’m pretty damn sure my lucky number is 13.

Like most people reading this post at 2.37am when they should be having nightmares about the Mothman, I’m drawn to all things that don’t quite make sense. And people like me have been obsessed with superstitions since humans first started believing in a god of their choice.

Yet despite the long history of superstitious beliefs, there are some that still alter what we think and what we do.

Why do we pick up pennies in the hope of good luck?

Is there an explanation as to why walking under ladders can bring back luck?

And what is so wrong with the number 13?

Clutch your rabbit foot tight, and let’s find out.

#1 - It’s bad luck to open umbrellas indoors

I hate umbrellas. Like printers, they can sense when you need them most, deciding to either malfunction with the slightest gust of wind or disappear from sight altogether.

But the Victorians had it a bit worse than we do with more modern contraptions. And it’s the dangerous nature of Victorian umbrellas that explains why we are still wary of opening them indoors:

They had rigidly-spoked umbrellas which would snap open. When opened indoors, it could injure someone or hit an object as they opened with such force.

But the history of umbrella-related problems actually goes as far back as the Ancient Egyptians. The nobility would be protected from the sun with decorative umbrellas, but they believed if they opened them indoors they would anger the sun god. Umbrellas also mimicked the goddess who formed the sky so the shade created by the umbrella was thus considered sacred.

The act of daring to open one indoors could also anger your home’s spirits and causing misfortune.

So basically no living being or supernatural entity approves.

#2 - Walking underneath a ladder will bring bad luck

We now turn from one belief system to another.

This superstition relates purely to Christianity, with the claims that the ladder against a wall creates 3 points and thus represents the Holy Trinity. Walking through this triangle thus represents you - yes, you, you unholy thing - breaking it.

The Egyptians also had a thing about ladders, and like the Christians believed a triangle was sacred symbol.

It is also claimed that ladders were rested against crucifixes, and thus became a symbol of wickedness, death, and any other values that go against Christ’s teaching.

These beliefs were so prevalent, criminals sentenced to be hung in 17th century England were forced to walk under a ladder as they headed towards the gallows.

#3 - Broken mirrors give you seven years of bad luck

Mirrors have a bad reputation amongst us supernatural skeptics. Why? 

They’ve been used for divination and conjuring rituals for millenia, and that’s exactly the gripe the Ancient Greeks had with them.

Their mirror seers, as they were also known, told the future by looking at the reflection of their clients. And one of their methods was catoptromancy: the mirror was dipped in water, and you were asked to look in the glass. If it distorted, you were destined to die.

The 7 years bit is actually to do with the Romans and was introduced back in 1st AD. As they believed people's health changed in 7 year cycles, a distorted image thus meant 7 years of ill health or misfortune.

#4 - Throwing salt over your shoulder avoids bad luck

Salt is one of those things that has always had spiritual meaning.

From the Bible to Pagan ceremonies, it is known for its healing properties and has even been used as a unit of exchange. It’s these values which explain why spilling salt is considered so unlucky.

Even the word ‘salary’ can be traced back to the monetary value of what we now consider simply a seasoning.

The Ancient Sumerians were the first to think up throwing salt over their left shoulder to nullify any salt they might spill, protecting themselves from bad luck. Alternatively, in Mahayana Buddhist tradition, the same ritual is used to prevent evil spirits from entering the house.

#5 - Knocking on wood prevents disappointment

Just like salt, wood has been pretty prevalent in rituals throughout history. It’s for this reason that historians still aren’t sure which religion actually gave birth to this, but it is most often attributed to holding a crucifix when taking an oath, or how European peasants historically knocked loudly to keep out evil spirits.

Today we knock on wood to avoid tempting fate, whereas German or Celtic folklore started the knocking ritual to invoke the protection of their fairies, spirits, and dryads that lived in the trees. To follow their ritual, say your wish to the tree, knock one, and then knock again to say ‘thank you’.

The knocking stops the evil spirits from hearing you, and prevents them from interfering in your good fortune.

#6 - Open-end-up horse shoes are good luck

It’s a good luck charm gracing novelty gifts and jewellery for prep school girls who are still crying about New Moon - but like most superstitions, it once again can be traced back to the Ancient Greeks.

Iron was believed to have the ability to ward off evil, and the crescent moon was a symbol of fertility and good fortune. The twinned appeal of an iron crescent moon symbol thus suggested high levels of protection against misfortune.

This symbol was passed down to the Christians and use of it peaked during the witch trials. It was believed witches feared horses, and thus wouldn’t go near a home with a horse shoe on the front door.

It can also be traced back to a legend of Saint Dunstan from the 10th century: one day the Devil asked for Dunstan to shoe his horse. Rather than nailing the shoe to the horse’s foot, he nailed it to the devil’s foot and thus caused the entity unbearable pain. Dunstan agreed to remove the shoe only if the Devil never entered a household with a horseshoe on the door.

The way it is positioned is also important: open end down means the horse catches the luck and open end up means those entering the house get the luck.

#7 - Black cats crossing your path is bad luck

Black cats have always been considered omens - but the kind of luck they bring is yet to be agreed upon.

Ancient Egyptians revered cats and thus believed they brought good luck, whereas the British public’s fear of black cats can be traced back to King Charles I’s loss of his beloved pet. He believed when it died his luck was gone...

He was arrested the next day for high treason.

(Oh, he was guilty, black cat or not.)

Medieval Europeans followed a similar line of thought, but believed that they were familiars (like companions) of witches. If one was to cross your path, it meant the devil was watching you.

#8 - The number 13 is unlucky

This superstition is so popular, it’s even earnt a scientific name: triskaidekaphobia, aka the fear of the number 13. But why do we have such a phobia of the number?

Whilst many believe it is down to the Last Supper, when Judas - that guy that betrayed Jesus - sat down as the 13th guest at the table, it can also be found in a similar legend in Norse mythology.

12 gods were dining at Valhalla in the city of gods when Loki crashed the party. They tried to kick him out, but the struggle caused one of the gods - Balder - to die. But each culture has their own individual take on why the number 13 is quite so unlucky.

The Mayan believed their calendar’s 13th Baktun was the harbinger of 2012’s predicted apocalypse,  English monks disliked 13 full moons in a year as opposed to 12 as it skewed the religious holidays, and in 1307 on friday the 13th King Philip of France ordered the arrest of the Knights Templar.

Some nations take the fear so seriously that they don’t even have 13 floors. And interestingly enough, it wasn’t used in Formula 1 for 40 years. Some countries, including China and France, however, believe it is a lucky number.

#9 - Pick up a penny for good luck

This superstition is often relayed to a nursery rhyme actually referring to pins forged by Paganism, but it actually started with superstition regarding metals. In years gone by, metals gave protection against evil spirits. So, when metal began to be used from currency, it followed logically that those who had more currency had better fortune.

But what one should do with the penny is uncertain. Some say it is only lucky if it is heads-side-up, whereas others believe you should always flip it over for the next person to find.

Another forgotten ritual associated with pennies is that a bride should put a penny in her shoe on her wedding day to ensure a happy marriage.

#10 - A rabbit’s foot brings good luck

Okay, let’s be honest.

We’re all friends here.

Who the f*ck wants a rabbit’s foot? Like, what person wants an animal’s body part in their bed side table, or in their new rucksack-style handbag which you’re still not sure if the colour works with your skintone yet but you’ve already lost the receipt?

Turns out a lot of people do.

Rabbit feet are considered a talisman or an amulet which can be traced back to Celtic tribes in Britain. But on the other side of the pond, they can come from hoodoo, African-American folk magic that combines Native American, European, and African beliefs.

However, any ol’ rabbit can’t be chosen to be de-footed. It must’ve been killed in a certain way, in a certain place, by a certain person.

Under a full moon, or in a cemetery, or on a rainy Friday, or shot with a silver bullet… You have a lot of options.

The interest in rabbit feet in particular is because this is an animal which witches used to shapeshift into, and the times it should be killed, such as during a full moon, was when witches would transform.

The cemetery part is interesting, however: if killed on the grave of a criminal, they have a more effective charm applied to them.

#11 - Crossing your fingers is good luck

Like most superstitions, this one goes back to Jesus.

Crossing your fingers invokes the power of Christ as it creates a cross, and thus asks God for protection. But the first use of the gesture itself involves two people crossing their index fingers together, and can be traced back to the biblical Kingdom of Israel:

Judges would cross their fingers when they sentenced someone to death and wanted to reaffirm God’s authority over the criminal’s soul.

From there churchgoers would cross their fingers for blessings, and in the 16th century England people began to use it to ward off evil or to bless people when they coughed or sneezed.

#12 - Mirrors placed opposite each other are unlucky and might conjure the devil

We already know mirrors are highly-spiritual objects, and can be used to predict the future or conjure spirits from another realm.

But according to Mesoamerican culture, when mirrors are placed opposite each other, they create a doorway for the devil. 

Mexicans today still believe your interior design might just be summoning evil spirits.

#13 - Whistling indoors is bad luck

Our next superstition is from Lithuania, but has already made its way across Europe.

In many cultures, whistling - especially at night - attracts bad luck and evil spirits. But in England, an urban legend in the 19th century brought a whole new meaning to the superstition. The Seven Whistlers are mysterious spirits that would create spectral whistling in mines and stopped groups of coal miners going to work.

Alternatively, in Slavic countries whistling indoors can bring poverty, whereas the Chinese Daoist technique of breath yoga can summon supernatural beings and strange phenomena.

The Superstitions You Didn’t Know Existed And Will Now Probably Be Obsessed With 

#14 - If a bird craps on you it is good luck

This Russian superstition claims that if bird poop lands on you or an object that belongs to you, it will bring you wealth. But interest in bird faeces goes a bit further than this frosty nation.

Sailors believed droppings shouldn’t be cleaned off a vessel until the next rainstorm, whereas British folklore claims if droppings come from a rook (a member of the Crow family) it is a punishment.  

#15 - Yo-Yos bring bad luck

On January 21st 1933, Yo-Yos were banned in Syria.

The persistent drought and freezing temperatures the country was facing were pinned on the traditional toy, and the leaders in Damascus claimed the wrath of god was being incited by these obviously evil trinkets.

They believed that Syrians were praying from the rain to come down, but as the yo-yo comes down and then goes back up it thus wasn’t raining.

I think that’s what they were getting at.

I’m still not sure.

#16 - Singing at the dinner table is bad luck

I was once told off for singing in the middle of dinner. I must’ve been three years old, but from what I’ve read, my grandpa was probably convinced I was actually communicating with Satan.

If you sang at the table, it meant you were singing to the devil for your supper. And when you sing to the devil, it’s probably going to end badly.

#17 - Carry an acorn to stay young

According to women from Ancient Britain, acorns could keep you looking youthful - and it was all down to the power of an oak tree.

Simply tuck one into your pocket, and you too could look like you were in a magazine spread that enforces the destructive notion that women cannot look above the age of 27.

Acorns are also associated with Thor: Scandinavian folklore claims the god of thunder sought protection under an oak tree during a storm. By putting one on a windowsill, it will protect your house from lightning strikes as a sign of respect to Thor.

As we plough into Autumn of this sh*t year, it is our duty to generate as much luck as possible. We’re gonna need it.

Which superstition surprised you the most? And which ones do you do?

Let me know in a comment, and click follow if you want to hear a new article on the paranormal every week!

And don’t forget to check out the link in the bio, the ultimate collection of online real ghost stories as told by you.

#paranormal #supernatural #superstition #superstitions #spiritual meaning #left eye twitching #Friday the thirteenth #13 #thirteen #black cat #black cat superstition #common superstitions #superstitions list #salt over shoulder #ancient superstitions #pagan #paganism #wicca #pagan traditions #christianity #ancient greeks #ancient egypt #bad luck #good luck #lucky #broken mirrors #bloody mary #horseshoe #witches #witchcraft

[orthodoxydaily]

Saint&Reading: Sat. Nov.,28, 2020

Commemorated on November 15_ Julian calendar

The Holy Martyrs and Confessors Gurias, Samon and Habib

     The Holy Martyrs and Confessors Gurias, Samon and Habib: During the time of persecution against Christians under the emperors Diocletian (284-305) and Maximian (305-311), two friends were arrested in the city of Edessa, the Christians Gurias and Samon, preachers of the Word of God. At the demand to offer sacrifice to the gods the saints answered with a decisive refusal and confessed their faith in Christ. For this they were subjected to cruel tortures: they beat them, hung them up by their hands, tied heavy weights to their feet, and cast them into a stifling prison. The martyrs endured everything with firmness and a prayer to the Lord, which one of the witnesses to the martyrs wrote down: "O Lord my God, without Whose will not a single sparrow falleth into the snare. Thou it was, Who wast diffused in the heart of David in sorrow, Who proved the Prophet David stronger than lions, and granted for a child of Abraham to be victor over torture and flames. Now also Thou knowest, O Lord, the infirmity of our nature, Thou beholdest the struggle set afront us. For the enemy striveth to tear away from Thee the work of Thy right-hand and to deprive (us) from the essence of Thine Glory. But do Thou, with Thine compassionate eye watching over us, preserve in us the inextinguishable light of Thy Commandments. By Thine light guide our steps, and grant us to delight in Thine bliss, for blessed art Thou unto ages of ages". By night they took the martyrs out beyond the city and beheaded them (+ 299-306). Christians buried their holy bodies.      After some years the last pagan emperor Licinius (311-324) began a persecution against Christians. A deacon of the Edessa Church by the name of Habib, whom the emperor ordered to be arrested for his zealous spreading of the true faith, presented himself before the executioners, since he did not want other Christians to suffer because of the search for him. The saint confessed his faith in Christ and was sentenced to burning. The martyr went willingly into the fire and with prayer gave up his soul to the Lord (+ 322). When the fire went out, the mother and kinsmen of the saint found his body unharmed. They buried the martyr next to Saints Gurias and Samon.      After the death of the saints, numerous miracles were wrought by them for those who with faith and love entreated their help. Thus, one time a certain Gothic-soldier, sent for service at Edessa, took as his spouse the pious maiden Euphymia. Before this he vowed to her mother Sophia at the graves of the Martyrs Gurias, Samon and Habib, – that he would do his spouse no harm, and would never insult her, but would always love and cherish her. At the completion of his service in Edessa, he took Euphymia with him back to his native land. Afterwards it turned out, that he had deceived her: in his native-land he already had a wife, and Euphymia became her slave. Euphymia had to suffer much abuse and humiliation. When she gave birth to a son, the jealous Goth woman then poisoned him. Euphymia turned with prayer to the holy Martyrs Gurias, Samon and Habib – witnesses to the oath of the deceiver, and the Lord delivered Euphymia from her suffering and miraculously returned her to Edessa, where she was welcomed by her mother. After a certain while the Gothic oath-breaker was again sent for service to Edessa. All the city learned about his misdeeds after his denunciation by Sophia, and by order of the governor of the city the Goth was executed.      Glorifying the holy martyrs in an akathist, Holy Church addresses them: "Hail, Gurias, Samon and Habib, Heavenly Patrons of honourable marriage".

© 1996-2001 by translator Fr. S. Janos.

Repose of St Herman of Alaska 

November 15, 1836 in Spruce Island

“I IMAGINE MY BELOVED VALAAM.”

St. Herman’s Letters to Abbot Nazarius

St. Herman even in Alaska considered himself to be under obedience to his spiritual guide and abbot, Fr. Nazarius of Valaam Monastery. Whenever he had the time he would write to Valaam with reports on the missionary team’s work in the Alaskan territories among the native peoples. As we can see from St. Herman’s legacy of “Russian Orthodox Alaska” today, this missionary work was effective and enduring.

May 19, 1795

Rejoice in the Lord, O most blessed and most honorable Fr. Nazarius, together with thy brethren in Christ. Thy paternal kindness and deeds of love towards my lowliness, shall in no way ever be erased from my heart. Neither the terrible impassible Siberian wilds, nor its dark forests, neither the rapids of great rivers, nor the mighty ocean can quench these feelings of mine. For in my mind I imagine my beloved Valaam, and constantly behold it across the great ocean. But because of the great distance, it is impossible for me with my own voice to express to you my gratitude and instead I am obliged to send you, my beloved Batiushka, this little piece of paper. I shall try at the same time to give you a report.

By the grace of the Most High God and thanks to your holy prayers, we have safely reached the American territories, all ten men. The briefness of time does not allow me to describe such a great voyage in detail. Nearly the whole year was spent travelling. We did not meet with any adventures worth recording, although some impressed themselves by reason of the novelty of the place and the varied forms of travel. For the sake of conversation, you can tell those who are curious for news that while travelling on horseback along the Okhotsk road, we were attacked by bears. And on the ocean we saw several kinds of sea animals: whales, dolphin, sea otter, elephant seals and others of which we spotted quite a number. There have been no big storms except one.

We are located on the island of Kodiak, but this is not to be permanent. Our intention is to go to the mainland, although we are not sure just what place will be to our liking. The Americans2 are very eager for baptism—nearly seven thousand have been baptized. On Unalaska, while passing through the Aleutian chain, we were driven by an opposing wind to a place where the Aleuts amazed us with their zeal and readiness to be baptized.

Together with this letter, Fr. Makary is setting off for the Aleutian, Fox and Adrianovsk Islands in order to preach and to baptize. Fr. Juvenal will be leaving shortly for the mainland starting on the Kenai peninsula and then heading to the Chugachi, the Alegmint and further to the Kolosh and ocher tribes, even to the Chilliket.

Oh! Here enraptured in spirit, in spite of all the shortness of time I will snatch a short minute to relate some narratives [of the missionaries’ travels and apostolic fervor].

Finding myself between fair weather and foul, between joy and tedium, between sufficiency and insufficiency, satiety and hunger, warmth and coldness, in all my sorrows I find something that cheers me, when I hear conversations between the brethren about their preaching, and about their dividing up for this various regions among themselves—especially the discussion between Hieromonks Makary and Juvenal, for they set out around Kodiak, too, in the smallest little boats of hide, despite all the sea’s dangers, and Father Archimandrite Joasaph Bolotov remained with us, as if with little children, in the harbor.

And so these hieromonks extended their thoughts yet farther: Once when taking a scroll in our harbor, where I, sinful one, happened to be among them, we climbed a little hill toward the southern side, sat down facing the ocean, and among other things began to speak as to which of us should go where to preach, for the time was then at hand for the departure of the ships on which they had to travel. And then an argument broke out between them which for me, humble one, was comforting and joyful. On Captain Cook’s maps of the north, it is indicated that along a certain river Russians live; among us there are different rumors of them, about which we then recalled in our discussion, wishing somehow to see them. Father Makary began to speak: “According to my intention, if it please God, when I shall be in the Aleutian Islands, in all propriety I should go also to Alaska [the mainland], to which place the Alaskans have already called me, too; and as that side is nearer those Russians, I shall find means somehow to learn something more certain about them.” But Father Juvenal, having heard about Alaska, and in his zeal not allowing the other to speak further, hastened to say to him: “Alaska in the whole belongs to my part, and so I beg you to yield to me and not offend me in this; since the ship now is setting out for Yakutan, I shall have tO go by way of Alaska to go out to this harbor.” Hearing this, Father Makary became shrouded in despondency and, having assumed a sorrowful air, said with feeling: “No, Father, don’t hem me in with this; you yourself know that the Aleutian chain of islands adjoins Alaska, and so it absolutely belongs to my part, and from there the whole northern shore; but as for you, if you please, the southern part of America is sufficient for your whole lifetime.” And I, lowly one, hearing such a debate, went from joy to rapture.

Ah, what a pity, Batiushka, that because of the shortness of time, I cannot tell you more about the customs, habits, and all about the way of life in this country, as well as about our own brotherhood. Cosmas Alexeyevitch was tonsured, receiving the name of Ioasaph. We are now together in the bread bakery. Forgive me, my beloved Batiushka, forgive me—I have no more time to write. l· am asking your holy paternal prayers and your blessing. I remain,

lowly Herman

P.S. To all my beloved and dear Valaam brethren, I most fervently bow down before you and ask your holy prayers.

More letters @Orthodox Christianity

Luke 9:37-43

37 Now it happened on the next day, when they had come down from the mountain, that a great multitude met Him. 38 Suddenly a man from the multitude cried out, saying, "Teacher, I implore You, look on my son, for he is my only child.39 And behold, a spirit seizes him, and he suddenly cries out; it convulses him so that he foams at the mouth; and it departs from him with great difficulty, bruising him. 40 So I implored Your disciples to cast it out, but they could not. 41Then Jesus answered and said, "O faithless and perverse generation, how long shall I be with you and bear with you? Bring your son here." 42 And as he was still coming, the demon threw him down and convulsed him. Then Jesus rebuked the unclean spirit, healed the child, and gave him back to his father. 43 And they were all amazed at the majesty of God. But while everyone marveled at all the things which Jesus did, He said to His disciples...

Galatians 1:3-10

3Grace to you and peace from God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ,4 who gave Himself for our sins, that He might deliver us from this present evil age, according to the will of our God and Father, 5 to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen. 6 I marvel that you are turning away so soon from Him who called you in the grace of Christ, to a different gospel, 7 which is not another; but there are some who trouble you and want to pervert the gospel of Christ. 8 But even if we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel to you than what we have preached to you, let him be accursed. 9 As we have said before, so now I say again, if anyone preaches any other gospel to you than what you have received, let him be accursed. 10 For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.

#orthodoxy #orthodoxchristianity #ancientchristianity #originofchristianity #spirituality #holyscriptures #gospel #sacredtexts #wisdom

[ilovejevsjeans]

RICCIARDO IS FERRARI’S CHANCE TO MOVE WITH THE TIMES

(THIS IS FROM LAST WEEK- SO WE KNOW ITS NOT GONNA HAPPEN NOW BUT A LITTLE TEA WAS SPILLED.)

Thirteen years. Yes, it’s 13 years since Ferrari last won a world drivers’ championship with Kimi Raikkonen which, let’s be honest, it backed into to some degree thanks to the internecine insanity of Fernando Alonso vs Lewis Hamilton, Spygate and McLaren in 2007 (as well as Kimi actually trying, which he’s only done intermittently since). Since then, the sport’s most famous team has been a major but ultimately unsuccessful player as McLaren, Brawn, Red Bull and Mercedes have swept up every title on offer. Drivers have come and gone (and sometimes come back again), team principals have been switched in and out (we see you, Marco Mattiacci). And still Ferrari hasn’t been able to parlay its historical, financial and (ahem) regulatory advantages into anything other than regular race wins and consistent underachievement. Which means it’s time to change an approach that served it so well for so long, but has run its race.

In the early 2000s, when testing was unlimited, tyres were being made specifically for its car by Bridgestone and cigarette cash flowed like chianti at lunchtime, putting every egg in the Michael Schumacher basket was absolutely the right way to go about dominating the sport, and dominate Ferrari did. Give Schumacher the sharpest tool in the box, and he metronomically sliced the opposition to ribbons for five straight years with Rubens Barrichello riding shotgun. Since then, Ferrari has thrown its weight behind Raikkonen (save for that weird 2008 season when Felipe Massa became its best option to beat Hamilton and McLaren for the title), Alonso and Sebastian Vettel, the latter two of which could never repeat in red what they’d managed to achieve elsewhere.

Which brings me to Vettel, and the fact he’s out of contract at the end of this season (should it ever start). If he stays at Ferrari beyond 2020, emphasis on ‘if’, it seems he’ll need to accept a smaller pay packet and a reduction of status given Ferrari has hitched its wagon to Charles Leclerc, 10 years younger and with a contract in his pocket for four more years after this one. What if Seb decides that, with four world championships, 53 wins and a stack of money in his keeping, that enough is enough with Ferrari, or F1 in general?

Before we get into that, an interlude on Vettel [1]. It feels as though there’s been a massive swing in how he’s perceived in the past year or two; for a while, he was seen by many as being overrated [2] because of his relentless Schumacher-style winning from the front of the field when he had the best car in the business (2010-13), and that perception wasn’t helped by what happened when he didn’t (2014 and the first year of the new regulations at the time sealed that view in the minds of many). But to be dismissed so quickly as a Barrichello/Raikkonen/Massa (dare I say Mark Webber?) number two in favour of a driver who has won two Grands Prix and has precisely 21 Grands Prix of experience in a top-line car seems a little disrespectful and short-sighted. Yes, Vettel has his foibles (overdrives when emotional or when he feels slighted, gets the wobbles under pressure), but he’s still very capable of winning races and is a proper professional who puts in the work, two things Raikkonen has rarely been accused of doing since 2007.

Back to the topic du jour. If Ferrari have decided that Vettel isn’t a number one anymore, or at least isn’t worthy of number one money or opportunity to genuinely challenge for the title, then why not make a seismic shift to the intra-team dynamic while you’re at it? The Ferrari “way” didn’t work for Alonso, nor Vettel. Why would it then work for Leclerc, promising as he undoubtedly is, given his pedigree relative to two of the most successful drivers in F1 history? Is doing the same thing over and over, rinse and repeat the idea that all eggs in one basket is the way to go, really going to topple the winning machine that is Toto Wolff, Hamilton and Mercedes? It’s time to be bold.

If Ferrari in 2021 isn’t going to feature an underpaid, muted and surely demotivated Vettel, then Daniel Ricciardo is the ideal replacement. Why? Glad you asked.

One, he’s available, with his Renault contract coming to an end at the end of 2020. Two, he’s a race-winning driver who isn’t in a race-winning car [3], and isn’t likely to be for a while if he stays where he is despite Renault’s intentions and ambitions, and because of the gap between F1’s top three teams in Mercedes, Ferrari and Red Bull to the rest. Three, sections of Ferrari management who didn’t feel Ricciardo was an ideal fit in 2018 because, in part, of a perceived lack of seriousness for the task are no longer a factor. And lastly, Ricciardo will lick his lips at the chance to bet on himself, even if he’s signed, unofficially, as Leclerc’s wingman (sorry, Valtteri Bottas).

Financial pressures for Ricciardo aren’t a factor. The fire to ignite a world championship charge still burns. He’d be apolitical, respectfully competitive with Leclerc, perhaps pushing the Monegasque to a new level that Vettel never could, and Ferrari/Italy would love him and his approach (can you imagine the cries of ‘Reee-chee-ardo!’ at Monza?) He’s scared of nobody and has the results to prove it. And it would turn up the heat on Mercedes, while making his former employers at Red Bull entertainingly uncomfortable [4].- If I could frame that part I would.

Faced with a choice between driving down a no-through road that is the very definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, the coronavirus-sparked chaos of 2020 gives Ferrari a chance to reset, rethink, and be bold. Ferrari’s ballsy move to fast-track Leclerc into a top seat paid dividends handsomely last year; let’s see if fortune can favour a brave call again by putting Ricciardo in red, a switch of approach that could help achieve a goal that has eluded it for more than a decade.

[1] Another Vettel thought. To this observer, he has always been someone who has had almost an endearing child-like love for racing, F1 and its traditions, and little time for any other peripheral distractions. Some drivers say they’ll never watch a race or be seen trackside again once they’re done, but they come back for the free money (“yeah, I reckon I could do some TV commentary …”) and/or because they miss having people blow smoke up their backsides every fortnight. You get the sense that Vettel would retreat into the Swiss countryside and never be seen again once he hangs up his helmet, but I’ve been wrong on that front before …

[2] In this part of the world, a lot of the Vettel/overrated commentary came out of him being teammates to Webber for as long as they were and the feeling among Australian fans that Webber wasn’t bad or a number two driver, to twist a little comment we heard along the way. Turkey 2010, Malaysia 2013 … people saw what happened and how management “handled” it, and it left a bad taste. Related: Azerbaijan 2018, and what will eventually be a must-read chapter in Ricciardo’s autobiography.

[3] Of the other contenders on the grid, Carlos Sainz is clearly good and hasn’t yet – emphasis on yet – had his chance in a race-winning car (he’d have been handy for Red Bull … never mind). Sergio Perez has had his chance in a top team and blew it, has been around as long as Ricciardo and has precisely seven fewer wins than the Australian’s seven. Esteban Ocon will surely get his shot in silver at some stage.

[4] Christian Horner’s face wouldn’t be as sour as it was in series one of ‘Drive to Survive’ with Cyril Abiteboul after Renault had signed Ricciardo, but it wouldn’t be far off. It’d be a bit like the ‘joy’ in certain sections of the Red Bull garage after Ricciardo nicked pole off Max Verstappen in Mexico 2018.

This was written by Matt Clayton, an Aussie media guy who used to write a lot if not all the content on Red Bulls site. He was a pretty good relationship with Dan. (X)

#daniel ricciardo #sebastian vettel #seb #dan #matt clayton #articles #silly season 2020 #ferrari