#I might just work more on like

[floydsteeth]

I love how within three days I went from

"I need to draw I need to draw!!" *draws too much in one day and burns out really bad*

To, crying at the sight of my sketchbook

#Now I have artblock #yippee 👍 #I'm still gonna work on the modern au because I refuse to drop it anytime soon especially over art block #I might just work more on like #Headcannons and not drawing related stuff having to do with au's #I have no idea what I'm talking about #It is 6:30 am and I have not slept #Granted I woke up at 4pm #But the sleep problem might be the cause of my art problems #Hmmmm maybe #I'm gonna just make a list of things I think the characters would dl or like #So I can draw them later #Currently I have two things I think though #Gilbert was/is into homestuck #You cannot change my mind #And alter Keith gets frequent piercings without telling other keith #And other Keith will consistently take them out if they are face piercings #because he doesn't want to come off as scary #I want pop #And like an unreasonable amount of fruit

[july-19th-club]

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

#i personally like to not be doing things constantly at all times. it stresses me out #i know there are ppl who thrive on cosntant activity #but me i like to chill out. #and the problem then becomes that i only ACTIVELY remember to do work and Find More Work To Do when im stressed #at the thought that others might want to see me working #if im ever relaxed i just dont look for stuff to do #catch 22 of modern work culture which permeates even ostensibly noncapitalist structures like public libraries #for instance: will it really kill anybody if the books get shelved by me now after a very busy day? #or shelved tomorrow morning by. well probably me since i'll be the one at the desk #not in the slightest #but it was work that wasnt being immediately done by me. therefore it was incorrect behavior #that i failed to identify because my instinct is to relax when not immediately presented with a Situation #this got me labeled as 'having no initiative' by my dad from a very early age #and even as an adult i still feel like im a child with no initiative

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[bixels]

Messy Trixie Charleston dance roughs.

#wip #trixie lulamoon #mlp #my art #personal #animation #the grand galloping 20s #tulli and i were talking about stella and trixie's first story together #and how trixie would be a FANTASTIC dancer. just super charismatic and energetic. while stella's boring ho hum. #we were imagining an adaptation of “road to friendship” but as a dixieland number like princess and the frog's “when i'm human” #trixie singing about how she wants to live a carefree and hedonistic life. money! fame! girls! #anyways i roughed this out. i might work on it some more

[obsob]

one thing u can count on me for is being normal about Some Guy

process under cut where u can see me losing my mind trying 2 figure out what i was doing in real time! :3

#mine #cats #original #i started colouring this last night and could NOT . get my brain to work #i like knew the vibes but i couldnt translate that into an actual physical colour palette AOAUGH #but i did kind of pop off w this one ngl. anyway #ive been listening to you cant do that podcast very good very funny hockey girls !! #i do need to listen to a boring white man podcast though so i can get . information . and not just who has been the most cunty nhl player #what else happened today. my tamagotchi evolved ! i love them so much #and i completed sm more crochet blanket! maybe i should post pictures of that bc its going to take years off my life i might as well get #sm clout for it

[lazylittledragon]

isn't it weird how if you get up at 7 or 8, do your work all day, then have free time and go to bed at 11 that's absolutely fine

but if i said i get up at 10, do fun stuff in the morning then work in the evening and go to bed late, i could be called lazy, nevermind that i'm getting just as much or MORE work done as i would in a traditional work day

#ramble #idk if this is a me problem or not #i've tried to do the early rise early bed thing again and again and it just does not work for me doing freelance right now #maybe it's bc i used to work at a bar so i'm more comfortable being active in the evening #i love working at night because there's less going on to distract me #what used to happen is i would get up early then fight executive dysfunction all day saying i couldn't do fun stuff until i did my work #then my will to work would hit at 10pm and i'd be up till 2am anyway #right now my routine is waking up later and playing a game or knitting for an hour or so and then working in the afternoon and evening #something something capitalism and 9-5 and adhd don't go together #this sounds like i'm just making excuses but it works and i'm actually getting shit done and sleeping enough so i don't see the problem #i just figured i'm probably going to sit and do nothing for a few hours in the morning anyway so i might as well give myself permission to

[egophiliac]

...okay, one more, because Epel's white rabbit outfit is SENDING me. everyone in this event looks like a decadent little pastry and I want to eat them all.

(credit: lace stock)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #white rabbit festival #for the record i left off some of the bows #canonically he is even fancier #deuce might be the ssr but epel is the frilly little cupcake #genuinely have not been this excited for an event in a while #and that's not a knock on other events i am just SO excited for froufrou bunny frocks #chances are good they're just going to walk around for three hours and talk about. like. the gross national income or whatever #but as long as they do it while dressed like cakes i am happy #sorry if this looks bad photoshop decided to explode and corrupt my files and i lost over an hour of work on it #so i refuse to look at it any more #posting purely to spite photoshop at this point

[journey-to-the-attic]

one thing about ik is that she will always reach out

#obey me #art #i had the idea for this and managed to bulldoze through drawing it all without losing motivation halfway through #but Do Not expect me to post art this frequently in future #idk how to do panels so if the middle bit with the text might be laid out weird #i added the stars and feathers and stuff because there was a bunch of empty space around the boxes #obey me satan #jtta ik #(btw the crumbling symbol next to the exploding feather is the wrath symbol from in-game) #(with the pride symbol attached upside down at the bottom) #(not so much symbolism as it is just me whacking you over the head with the point but it looks cool) #i had a lot of fun doing satan's more monstrous design so i might try my hand at some of the other demons later? #i do have some ideas for levi (deep sea creatures are just really fun) #also happy nightbringer release day!! it showed up on my homescreen like half an hour ago and i was like “wait what” #for some reason i thought it wasn't releasing til next week?? #the new genshin patch is today as well so looks like i'll have plenty to do with the rest of my free time for the easter hols #(i promise i'm also working on the next chapter of jtta but i am so stuck on how to get lucifer actually Talking) #anyway. here's a gold star for making it through all my rambling in the tags for anyone who did so: ⭐

[wyvernspirit]

The one big thing out of seeing all the hermits irl for me is that people need to do more fanart with Pearl being really fucking tall

#hermitcraft #hermitblr #pearlescentmoon #geminitay #falsesymmetry #And False Too #I don’t know exactly how tall she is but it seems more then average! #meanwhile I think Gem might just be the average? #I see some people saying she’s short and I don’t think she is #she seems like she’s 5.4 to me #when I did a height comparison chart and then looked at the #photos/videos #which #height average for afab is 5.3 #though I think the world average works out to about 5.7 #but don’t quote me on that #mcyt

[co27]

semiannual kris deltarune art

#deltarune #kris dreemurr #fanart #dnoodle #kris deltarune #I JUST NOTICED I FORGOT THEIR ARMOR ON THEIR OTHER ARM LOL. WHOOPS #this might ahve like only 2 pixels. well. thats my bad #i have a new brush that im really having fun using so who knows i might actually 'post' more 'art' #which reminds me. i have artfight stuff to work on #image desc in alt text #1k

[crabsnpersimmons]

exam 5 for me... tomorrow!

honestly have been feeling really nervous for this exam since my classmates have either failed it or just barely passed. and i had less time to study this time around because i rushed to book the exam.

so i drew this little encouragement early cuz i need the reminder that no matter what happens tomorrow, i did what i could and i didn't compromise on my boundaries—and that is its own victory.

and i hope that you'll be reminded to celebrate your own big and small victories too!

"You are nervous and that's okay! You did your best! You set boundaries! You took breaks! We're so proud of you, Starlight! Whatever happens, we'll always be here, cheering you on!"

#fnaf sun #fnaf eclipse #fnaf moon #fnaf dca #dca fandom #crab art #bright colours #traditional art #self-insert #my OC Esther #on a funnier note (gonna ramble) #i realized today that i could technically bring a sprite to drink in my exam #we're only allowed water in a clear drink container without any labels #so like... sprite is clear enough to work right? #and if they ask about the bubbles i'll just say it's sparking water #(i hate sparkling water but they don't need to know that) #but yeah might do that cuz i think the sugars will do me some good #3 hour exams are inhumane #anyways going to sleep now because i need sleep more than sugar #the worst thing that could happen is i fail and i have to pay another $115 to retake the exam and i receive the disappointment of my mom #i could buy a sun and moon plushie with that money #maybe even an eclipse plushie too #so the stakes are pretty high i think #if i pass i'll buy those plushies hehe #maybe just one for now because i still have more payments to make for my program #okay okay no more rambling going to sleep now

[ingoodjesst]

have you put the pieces together yet, detective

#goro akechi #akechi goro #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #p5 akechi #p5 spoilers #persona 5 fanart #jesst some art #i may have worked on this for... just under two weeks? i had like. so many fckgin thoughts i might make a process/concept breakdown post #it's honestly just for my own peace (haha piece) of mind because i overthought about. SosoooOoOo many motifs and symbols and i just wanna #idk PUT EM ALL somewhere........ maybe it'll become its own jessay of mine. god. who can say. #also DUDE tumblr rly does crunch up quality wow ouch #unironically a core thematic inspiration for this piece is a quote from the folding ideas' video 'the nostalgia critic and the wall' #'it doesn't all make sense or resolve or coalesce because we don't all make sense' #'everyone is the illusion of order constructed brick by brick out of chaos' #i've watched that video essay through at least. a dozen times at this point. everything about it. yeah. it's good. #this piece initially went many different directions and i have realized ah yes to fully explore just THESE themes that i'm interested in as #they relate to goro akechi i will need to draw. at least two more pieces. sdlfhsdlkfjsd

[myoonmii]

I think the downright most horrific and brutal detail in the show is that Kilgharrah actually used Merlin to make sure Arthur's death happened with the pretence of protecting him

#kilgharrah when i catch you #this is why merlins “ i failed? ” destroyed me to my core #you were never supposed to succeed love #I honestly believe Kilgharrah knew Arthur was supposed to die at Camlaan and just wanted to make sure he didn't die BEFORE that #thats why he was like ooh but Merlin you must protect him and make sure he survives ( until its the convenient time) #and merlin genuinely thought he could protect Arthur until the end #say what you want about Kilgharrah and what his intentions might be behind this but this is SO FOUL #and now Merlins waiting for Arthurs return for a thousand years on Kilgharrah's word alone because thats the only hope he has #what else can he do #lets just hope he's right this time #bummed my self out with this thought while doing my class work #merlin #bbc merlin #merthur #cannot take much more of this guys send help

[daily-odile]

everything is the same except Odile is the one looping

oh. heheheheh. muahahahaha. hold on *digs through my pile of disorganized sketches*

Odile loops au; a sketch compilation!!

Some old fic drabbles + associated sketches under cut (a6 secret spoilers):

hc: Since equipment carries over, as long as Odile uses her book in a fight, she can write down notes and have it carry over loops

toxic doomed yuri (for a more fleshed out fic I highly recommend The Sweetest Thing by soreimoon, it's amazing)

#isat #odile loops au #in stars and time #isat spoilers #isat odile #odile timeloop au #isat au #congrats on unleashing the hell gates of odile looping au!!! I've thought about it a bunch!!!!! #contexts: #candy is a reference to sasasap i think. not sure if odile likes candy though #i think it'd be funny if odile struggled with understanding how shields work for a bit. she spends several loops asking mirabelle for help #I think odile would actually spend more time in the loops once she's sure she can just loop again. They're not actually in a rush after all #and she might as well maximize her loops #under cut: #she leaves all of her excess books with loop. Loop has another thing to do while waiting #yes loop is still you know who in this one #toxic doomed yuri is just very self indulgent teehee thanks discord folks #not depicted: I also think that the more loops she does the more she views them as experiments #with variables to control and test #that's where she starts falling off the deep end and start testing stuff like. not warning siffrin about the rock #(instantly regrets it though. loops back the first time she tries) #day 26 today? #A big one! Have funnn #you can tell some of these are really old by the different colored background lmfao

[inkskinned]

you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.

you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.

instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.

you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.

your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.

because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.

so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.

all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.

#spilled ink #woke up at 530 to write this lmafo #me in a cold sweat: #how do i be normal #edit in the tags: #hey so i've seen y'all talk about like ... wondering if ur ''allowed'' to relate #like if this is about X specific diagnosis #and when i first posted it i really almost labelled it ''please don't assume this is about a specific condition'' #because as an artist i am often walking this line of discussing a symptom or discussing my conditions etc #and sometimes yes ! i do want to talk about an experience that is specific to who i am and my condition #but sometimes the effort of the post is about the EXPERIENCE rather than the diagnosis #because yes i am not neurotypical and as a result that influences my work but it is ALSO true that there are many reasons #why someone might experience this particular vague horrible feeling that you are... almost being CHASED by what you ''really'' are. #that you're outrunning your symptoms... that you're not really normal you're just sort of a mockery of a person #.... that's a really isolating and horrible way to feel no matter why you are feeling it. and the nature of this PARTICULAR post is that #it is inherently talking ABOUT that sense of isolation & of feeling not-deserving & of minimizing your own experiences to make urself #palatable for society in a way that others find easy-to-deal-with.... #this post is about a certain experience such that my impression is there's a higher likelihood that those who relate #would have more difficulty thinking they ''deserve'' to relate - that it doesn't REALLY belong to them #bc often we are the kind of people who are SO used to being alienated and set aside and ''different'' that we AUTOMATICALLY assume #that things are not ''for'' us... they never have been why would it start now #we are the kinds of people to be ... ''too normal for X diagnosis but too symptomatic to be normal'' #[or as this post points out... so good at ''coping''/masking/hiding it that we essentially conform to whatever shape we're poured into] #but i have witnessed others already say in the tags ''thought this was about me but it's about X so it can't be'' #and im like ... of course it was about you. #art is not a resource that is diminished by greater appreciation . #you reflect in whatever mirror fits your frame. not just the ones in your bedroom. not just the ones i specifically give you. #there will be - and often are - times that i will talk about my specific conditions... but if you're reading this #regardless of why you're here... we are here together. holding hands through space and time. and i love you for carrying it #and i know you're exhausted. i am too. but i understand. and i see you.

[turbo-tsundere]

Kokichisake-onna

*Happy anime narrator voice*: “And thus, Kokichi has once again successfully evaded the dread of emotional openness!”

Also here’s a random selection of derpy concept doodles for this comic :)

Thank you byeeeeee

#gonta gokuhara #gokuhara gonta #kokichi ouma #ouma kokichi #kokichi oma #featuring shuichi xD #ougoku #awwgoku #my art #I wanted to post it on ougoku day but work and migraines piled up on me and I really wanted to give this one the time it needs! #If you know the legend you know why Shuichi is panicking XDD #Look into Kokichi's eyeballs in panel 3 and see the sad hope against hope and yet! he still actively sabotages any comfort coming his way! #Is Gonta just kind or is his compassion a warped mix of compulsive fawning and misplaced empathy that keeps inviting menace into his life? #there's a secret sadness to this silly comic lmao and it's those poor sods' autopilots #I say laughing but by god do they need help #anyway enjoy! I might try posting more of Gonta ships I like - like this one; or with Shuichi; and some others 8D #btw I LOVE Gonta's scariest sprite - fantastic detail bc it does look like a snarl and ofc a wild child would imitate animal expressions! #and 2 out of 3 times he uses it he's actually NOT angry but hyped or frustrated - both cases also smth I appreciate for certain reasons #his actual 'serious angry' sprite is far more toned down in comparison