#I might delete this later I just needed to get this off my chest

[kittycak3s]

I hate that I'm being made responsible for coping with and "forgiving" abusive behavior just to protect myself.

I'm tired of being fucking "understanding". I'm tired of my survival being dependent on how much I'm able to take. I'm tired of being treated like dog shit for no reason.

#''you need to work things out!!!1'' eat shit and die #what really enrages me about all of this is i'm literally always the one that's actually calm and civil and respectful #but im not gonna sit there and do nothing while you're cussing at me and slamming doors and acting like a fucking aggressive toddler #and coming from a GROWN MAN??? #especially when they're manipulative enough to cry and get in your face blubbering about how sorry they are #just to throw an absolute fit when you want them to fuck off and leave you alone #even though i didnt even say it with like an attitude or anything lmao #but when that degenerate freak sends me into a meltdown #*I* am the one that has to forgive the piece of shit??? #''he had a bad day!'' clearly not bad enough!! #He's literally been the primary source of my problems with my mother #and he's a piece of shit to her too #but god forbid i actually say that lmfao #abuse tw #I might delete this later I just needed to get this off my chest #I fucking hate being disabled I wish I were able to be independent #I wish I didn't need care from other people #I wish I had the luxury of being able to go no contact #I'd have multiple restraining orders against multiple people if that were an option lmfao

[kuroiyuki96-art]

I don’t know how after seeing the beginning of the new episode people still complain about Shadow being “too aggressive, too angry”

He was locked out, unable to do anything as he watched his world break apart. He tried to get Sonic to listen several times but kept getting ignored. And if we take Prime being cannon, I can’t imagine how a guy that has lost everything before would be completely calm after all what happened.

The sheer anger and frustration conveyed in the beginning reached me and I felt really bad for him. He this time, was the right amount of angry. We got to see some amazing fights, and the moment Sonic listened, he actually stopped punching. He even offered to work together when that seemed like the best option. What more do people want?

#sonic prime spoilers #sorry I just needed to get this off my chest #might delete later #sonic prime

[xskyll]

I just need to vent. Someone made a podfic of one of my fics a short while back. Yesterday, they told me they were monetizing their channel and asked permission to put ads on their podfic of my story. I'm very glad they asked permission, so I could say no, but all the same, I can't help but feel so angry. I would never go to someone and say, "Hey, do you mind if I make money reading aloud your story that you spent months and months slaving over, while you don't make a single cent? Do you mind if I throw ads on this thing you poured your soul into, turning your love letter to fandom into another cog in the capitalist money machine?" I just imagine someone listening to my description of Shouto fighting Bakugou and listening to him bare his soul about his toxic behaviors—I scene I tried to craft with such care—and just before Izuku kisses Shouto's black eye, an ad for a Kia plays.

Part of me is wondering if I'm overacting—I know some people would say, 'it's just fanfiction, calm down'—but a larger part of me is like, "The absolute gall! YOU making money using MY heart???"

#i'm just #ahajahdjshhwjsjd #i feel like an ass complaining in a public space #but it's also not like i'm a huge account or anything #i'm just so mad!!! #and i feel like i shouldn't be because they did ask permission and didn't fuss when i declined #when they asked permission to do the fic i felt really complimented #but now it feels like it was all just a scheme to make money down the line #did they even like my fic or did they just notice it was a little bit popular? #and i hate that i let myself stew over these kinds of things #this is literally a stranger making me mad with a sentence #that's dumb #i might delete this later #i just needed to scream into the void #get it off my chest and whatnot

[grimweathers]

activating hater mode:

i think 90% of social media "activism" is primarily used as a way for people to pat themselves on the back for being a "good person" and it's ultimately not really about the cause at all.

if you put pressure on a celebrity to speak up (which.......... i mean. i could write a whole thing about that on its own. but other people have articulated it better than i could), and then the celebrity speaks up, and your reaction is "wow NOW you're saying something since people are pressuring you?? trash. blocked/unfollowing" then like. what was the point. i thought you wanted them to speak up. then they did. and now you're mad because, what, they didn't travel back in time to speak up "early enough"?

not to mention half the time these celebrities have, in fact, spoken up/protested in person/etc. and these so-called "activists" just didn't see or check lol (and then, of course, they move the goalposts about what "speaking up" actually means)

/end hater mode

#just needed to get this off my chest i might delete later lol #river talks

[girlfox]

━

#𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐎𝐅 ⠀⠀(⠀ⅰ.⠀)⠀⠀𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑:⠀⠀ಇ⠀⠀oh-kae! #cw negative #tw negative #cw vent #tw vent #tagging this for people who don't want this kind of negative content on their feeds! #remember to protect urself first. #and i'll keep this super vague not to be like . . dramatic? but just because i only need to get this off my chest. #but i need to vent so badly because i'm reaching a breaking point. i can /feel/ the anxiety building up in my throat. #i've been 10000 % vibing on my own and really comfy here! i've been loud n' proud about that. #but ever since i've been active here it feels like old issues are rising up and it feels like borderline harrassment. #like. under the radar. #i know this isn't anything anyone is going to have noticed or seen or anything. #but talking with friends who do notice and stuff. i just hit a bad point all of a sudden. #i'm not going to openly talk about problems here on the dash of course. #but drags my hands down my face. i just want to do my own thing man. #i have more time to be here now that school is done for a couple months & i just wanna enjoy it to the fullest hah #i'm finally back into enjoying ahri the way i used to! #but. i dunno. i might bury my head into my inbox & retreat into some video games or something. #i don't really need reassurance or affirmations because this isn't a pity post or anything. #i feel validated by the amazing friends and interactions i get here as is! so thank you to all of you. seriously. ily #but good lord. #i dunno i just wanted to vent and i will delete this later.

[carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich]

I just realised today that it’s been over 8 years since I published my first piece of reader insert fanfiction (not for DL but it laid the groundwork for what was to come) and it’s absolutely crazy to me. I don’t know that I’ve talked about it on this blog much (for it was not good by anyone’s standards) but I used to publish on Quotev and I made a couple of friends on there who really helped me when I was going through a hard time in real life (not that I think any of them necessarily realised how much :’) ). Sadly we all sort of drifted away from the site and lost contact but I still think about them sometimes and hope that wherever they are they’re doing well. 

I miss our little community on there too and the silly conversations we used to have, as while I don’t think Tumblr ever quite had the same vibe, I do think it’s grown a lot more impersonal over the years (or at least that’s certainly been my experience). 

Anyway I don’t know that there’s much of a point to this other than me reminiscing but if we’ve interacted at some point while I’ve been running this blog, or even if you just silently like a lot of my posts (because believe me, there are usernames I recognise even if we’ve never properly talked), then I’m grateful and I hope that you’re happy and doing well.

#personal #delete later #I just needed to get this off my chest I think #and... I think this might be a goodbye #I've had this blog for over 6 years and it's gotten me through some tough times #and I am so very grateful for all the good times #I've been saying I plan to move on for a while but I think I'm actually ready this time #I'd been debating whether to make a song and dance over it or quietly disappear into the night #but I look back on abandoned blogs and always wonder what happened to the people who ran them #so if you're looking back on this and wondering then at the time of writing I'm doing well #busy but well #and I though that saying goodbye in a rambling set of tags was very true to form #so if you're still reading thank you so much for joining me for this chapter of my life #and if you're someone who's stumbled onto this blog years after I made this post #(providing Tumblr is even still going by then) #then I hope these characters and stories can bring you as much joy as they once brought me

[trossards]

i’m on a teambuilding with work and argued with two co-workers about palestine and isr*** and it was so fucked up i was shaking so bad i almost spilled my tea AND started crying so if anyone can give advice on how to discuss this topic without getting so emotional and wanting to slap people in the face i’d gladly take it

#they were so pro isr*** it was soooooo awful what they said #and everything they said was soooo wrong #i will always defend palestine #but i have never reacted so emotional #i just didn’t know how to act #like what do you say to ppl who defend and justify what the zionist #colonisers do #and blame palestinians for everything #and like i was giving arguments etc #but they have their opinion and its just not worth it to discuss it #anyway I know i haven’t been on tumblr for a while #but i need to get this off my chest #and also after that argument i had to listen to a presentation #for another two hours #and i kept looking outside so i wouldn’t cry #personal #might delete later who knows #if anyone has advice pls share it with me

[vivaciousoceans]

I talk about my mom’s addiction and poverty a lot but honestly if that had just been the worst of it, I think I could forgive her but some of the things she did just have no rational. Like when she would come to my room in the middle of the night on a school night and beg me to talk to her because she was lonely. When I’d refuse bc o had school the next morning, she would go get a jug of bleach and threaten to drink it in front of me unless I got up. As I got older that stopped working so one time she made me think she’d actually drank it and put something like an alkaseltzer in her mouth to make it seem like she’d actually drank it.

#teya rants #might delete later #I just needed to get this off my chest #tw child abuse #tw child torture #this is just one of the many psychological ways she abused us

[got-no-skill]

ESD Zionist scum.

I'm not going to bother naming or shaming them because they turned off rebolgs and comments because they're pathetic fucking cowards, like all Zionists. and also I've had a post quasi-break containment before and quite literally not even to my worst enemy that isn't a world leader MOVING ON

The rest of their post is, as you'd expect, sententious, mealy-mouthed bullshit where they literally both-sides a goddamned genocide where one party is a recognized member of the UN with nukes and one is the rightful inhabitants of that territory whose legitimacy is being stomped on by the global hegemon because it, too, is a settler colonial state. This person said, "YOu CaN'T senD ZiONisTs BAcK to ThEir HOmeLAnD," and while they were probably referring to the countries these people originally came from, those stopped being their homelands in 1947, and you can VERY easily send them back to the territory as originally laid out in 1947, and I think you will find that the TeRrOrIsTs stop attacking you if you were to do that.

Which brings me to my next point.

I do support Hamas. Full stop.

The less unhinged among you will probably ask, "How can you support a terrorist group?" And it's a fair question: in a vacuum, on an individual level, it's hard to justify the deaths of any of the victims of a terror attack; after all, many of the people who get killed probably don't even agree with the policies that terrorists are protesting, and fewer still had any real means of addressing the problems that terrorists are fighting against.

And that's the point: to inculcate a culture of fear that you could be their next victim to mobilize citizens to pressure their leaders to capitulate to their demands.

Terrorism is the old adage about a riot being the language of the unheard writ large. To drive a person to the point where they are willing to commit some of the greatest atrocities against their fellow people, there had to be several steps where they were victimized and asked and begged and pleaded to stop being made a victim and they were ignored.

Which brings me to my final point and why I support Hamas: terrorism doesn't exist in a vacuum. On an individual level it is hard if not impossible to argue that the victims of a terror attack deserved their fate, but on a macro scale, the nations that are victimized by terrorism had to sorely provoke the perpetrators of such acts and ignore all peaceful attempts at a redress of grievances to reach that point.

#from the river to the sea palestine will be free #fuck zionazis #fuck zionists #fuck israel #fuck netanyahu #might delete later #but I just needed to get this off my chest. #the rage inside me where this person wants to act like it's a hard issue. #it's real fucking simple you pathetic dolt. #settler colonialism bad #genocide bad #get the fuck back on your side of the demarcation line and maybe you won't have so many problems with 'terrorists'

[vulcannic]

this is the third time this year there’s been an emergency on my street where a fire tuck and police cars had to park outside my house and i gotta say!! i’ve discovered this is a big trigger for me!!!

#delete later #text #obviously the emergencies are more important like i’ll deal #luckily this time is seemed to be nothing too bad #just really reminds me of the morning my dad passed 🤪 #but the the other two times were not good and had me shaking on the floor on the verge of throwing up #but this time the fire truck pulled up and they got the houses mixed up and came knocking on our door and scared the shit out of me #anyway #i said on twitter i was staying away from social media most of the day because my pmdd symptoms are thheee wooOoOOoorstt rn #but i needed to get this off my chest or else i would go full panick attack mode #sorry i only make text posts about shitty things #edit: ok i thought this time wasn’t that bad because my neighbor was outside the house acting fine and the fire truck left #but now two more cops showed up and they’re putting caution tape around the house…….. #i don’t think anyone died since the neighbor lives alone and is fine but like 🧍 #EDIT 2: ok i think i got the old guy mixed up with our other neighbor….. #i think the neighbor i thought it was might be dead and they’re treating it like a crime scene homy fuck

[misteria247]

I'm gonna vent for a moment cuz I'm honestly just......at my mental limit. Please feel free to ignore this.

Do you ever feel like that no matter what you do, it's never enough or it's always wrong?

It's a terrible feeling. And I've been feeling it a lot lately when it comes to my little sister. For awhile now she's seemed to be.....rather mean towards me. It's like anything I do gets on her nerves and she snaps or yells at me or gets cruel with her words. Usually I try to not let it bother me, due to her having bipolar disorder and because I'm the eldest and she's 21 and it'd be foolish to get into petty fights over it. At most if it gets too much I try to talk to her but she doesn't really take it seriously so I just let it go. But today.......

I don't know but today just seems like it's officially gotten to me. It started with this morning. My sister had mentioned something about being tough and from the city and needing a hoodie saying she was so and I'd jokingly said that it'd be false advertisement because she's a country girl, her boyfriend even joining a bit in the joke. And almost immediately she just......went straight for my throat. Started saying that I was ignorant as fuck and that I just piss her off and the usual spiel. Now this wouldn't bother me too much, as like usual when she gets like this I leave the room we share, which is what I did with my coffee to avoid conflict. But it was when I'd went into our room that I heard her talking to our mom and her boyfriend.

She......basically said I was an ignorant bitch. And then shortly after I hear the three of them get into a conversation and then I hear it. My mom and my sister's boyfriend making similar jokes like I did.....and......and she'd laughed along with them and joked right back. As soon as I heard that I just........it took everything to keep from tearing up. Because it hurt, it hurt that she'd say those things about me and yet turn around and laugh at the same jokes when someone else says them.

I think at that moment it just became clear that......that the problem was just me. And as I type this now (because again she'd snapped at me but for the shower cuz I told her to not use all the hot water) and think about this entire day I can't help but wonder......if there's just something wrong with me? Am I doing something wrong? Does she just.....not want to have a relationship with me?? I know it's silly to get upset over this but I'm just so tired of trying with her ya know? I love my little sister too death but........sometimes I just wish she'd be nicer. That she cared enough to see that she's hurting me.

Today's just been an absolute struggle for me to really handle mentally. And I tried to not let it get to me but obviously it is. I'm just tired of being the one getting yelled at. And our mom's getting sick of it too.

#oli talks #ooc #muns ramblings #mindless ramblings of a madman #venting #heavy venting #I'm just hurting and I need to get this off of my chest #personal #might delete this later idk #sorry for dumping this please feel free to ignore this

[divinemackerel]

Like ok I’m probably not the one to call folks out on this but my judgement for bedrock bros twt mains is unsurmountable at times. If you want a definition of flanderization and deviation from the plot. They’re right there.

They are probably the closest tbh out of all the sbi combos to folks just writing about, straight up ocs? Or in the worst cases writing uncomfortably close to this warped version of rpf. And I say that because I don’t think I’ve ever read a bedrock bros fic where it’s written ABOUT their characters.

I know the whole point of fanfiction is to explore possibilities, but in bedrock bros fics I feel like Tommy is always woobified or in some way like- unable to care for himself because frostbite made him lose a foot and/or he passed out in the snow from blood loss or something. He’s just a sopping wet creature with no bark or bite, a traumatized punching bag for the plot.

Meanwhile Techno is uncharacteristically caring, while in canon he basically is the first person to not believe Tommy. He is not cTechno, he sometimes isn’t even vaguely anarchical, he is just the idea of someone caring for someone else, with the motifs of the character his cc portrayed in videos sprinkled in.

Yes, the line between cTechno and “cc”Techno was more blurred than with other members of cSBI, or even other members of the DSMP in general, as lore was never seemed too serious with him, but like, idk how to stress the fact I don’t think I’ve ever read a bedrockbros fic ABOUT cTechno and cTommy.

You can have your own interpretations about the two, sure, but Techno literally said “he goes away for two weeks then comes back and makes everyone feel bad for him” about Tommy and his Exile.

He also (albeit jokingly) called after to Dream when he left after looking for Tommy, for him to “take him back”, and he (iirc) knew at that point that something bad had happened in exile.

AND GOD DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON DOOMSDAY OR THE 16TH.

Like- I don’t know. I don’t understand bedrockbro mains, especially on twitter, because 98% of the time they’re never writing or talking about bedrockbros, just these weird flanderized beyond recognition versions of them. Or like I said, in the worst cases, a bit more than borderline rpf than usual.

#idk is rhis. tastless? this feels tasteless somehow but im npt sure how #i might delete later idk i needed to get this off my chest #bedrock bros neg #ctechno neg #fandom neg #or… idfk #fandom meta #???? #tw limb loss #rant #idk I feel like this is just. a thing. i havent read bedrockbros fics inna while granted but when i did #it was like. ALL tommy escaping from exile and losing his foot from frostbite or smth and Techno being like ‘who did this to you’ #realistically he wojld probably just say ‘L’ #dont get me started on technodad ill explode #in a bad way #long post

[whatisthismandoinghere]

Random thought for the day:

Something that just drives me insane is the way people throw around the word "fascist"

I mean nowadays the word has completely lost its meaning and it's pretty much used as a last ditch, I don't have anything more to contribute to the conversation but I need to have the last laugh, insult. It's just plain stupid, I don't know how else to describe it

You could probably go around asking people if they knew what it meant and most of them wouldn't be able to tell you. If you wanna go around dropping the word fascist into your conversations I feel like you should know what it means and how to use it properly

Sorry to bore you all with my rambles, hope you have a lovely day/night

#sorry i know it's not related to classic tv #but this just irks me so much #and i needed to get it off my chest #and who else to share with then all of you #personal rant #might delete later

[formationlapsz]

I feel so angry for no apparent reason today like every single thing irritates me idk why this keeps happening and I also got this extreme feeling of escapism I just want to leave I got no idea where, I just want to go

#q.txt #might delete this later #i just need to get it off my chest #do i have anger issues?

[bumblingbee1]

:( (See tags for warnings)

Whenever i find a lesbian-culture post relatable, I can’t help but to hate myself for not figuring this out sooner. My imposter syndrome keeps coming back to bite me in the ass, accusing me of “faking it for attention”. But then I ask myself: “What attention?” The main reason I keep this to myself (IRL) is to be left alone to figure it out.

Exactly like how my process of coming to terms with being autistic was a few years back.

I feel like shit for not realizing the comforting feeling that comes with the idea of being romantically intimate with a woman until recently. It felt like a flipping “Eureka!” moment when I first realized it!! Like it somewhat made sense...

When I imagine myself with a girlfriend, bringing her to meet family and friends... Everyone is happy, including me! 

Hopefully one day I get to a point and forgive myself.

#tw internalized homophobia #cw vent #imposter syndrome #might delete later #do not reblog #sorry if you've seen this before #i just felt the need to get this off my chest

[moonlightsylph]

You are tired.

You are so tired but you can't sleep. Not with the weight on your ribs slowly compressing down.

There is nothing there though, nothing actually sitting there. But you feel it all the same. The same old sadness that sneaks up on you when you haven't had a long conversation with people in a long time. Nothing beyond comfortable silence and asking if they are okay when it's all too quiet.

You used to be able to talk for hours about anything and everything, no matter how mush brained you got because it was far too late in the night. It was fun, freeing almost, it was noise and warm and home.

But then we all grew up some more, life changed, people pass and others move on. You don't know when you started to feel the weight but you can pinpoint it to a single moment of loss where you noticed it. You thought it was just grief and mourning.

Maybe it was. Maybe it was...

But now you lay in bed and wonder if it's all worth it in the end. If you have grown and changed as well or if you are still the same child you were before. Immature and childish that clings to silly things, just to make the nights easier. To pretend everything is alright.

Are you as annoying as you think, as you listen to yourself in repeat in your mind. Are you really a part of anything meaningful or just a distraction that is merely put up with.

Maybe you are just hungry and tired, thinking the world hates you and you hate yourself. You should sleep, or drink some water.

But you know if you sleep now, while the weight is still there, you will dream of things lost and cry until awake again. You feel alone in those times.

But you are tired. Sleep is going to come regardless because you have work to do in the morning. You will be far too tired if you don't.

So sleep. Sleep and let the feelings go. At least there, in the dreams, no one can hurt you or judge you from imaginary silences.

Sleep

It will be better in the morning. No one hates you for being here.

#might delete later #just needed to get the sad vibes off my chest so i can sleep