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oftenwantedafton · 4 months

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Moody and Gray - William Afton x Female Reader

Chapter 7

Rating - Explicit

Warning - sexual content

Also available on AO3

You can’t sleep.

You feel like a kid on Christmas Eve.

You toss and turn. Punch your pillow. Blanket off then back on.

Nope. You’re not getting any rest.

Well, you might as well do something productive and clean the house.

You decide to start in the bedroom. Strip and make the bed. Get all the laundry in the hamper. A quick run through in the bathroom. Fresh towels. Shower scrubbed. Kitchen appliances and counters wiped down. Floors mopped. Coffee table in living room tidied. You can’t vacuum at this hour, the neighbors would complain. You suppose you could do the dreaded dusting. You sigh. Only for William fucking Afton.

You inspect everything one final time. Well, it’s certainly an improvement from its state in his previous visit. Smells clean. Looks decent. You flop on the couch and switch the television on, the volume so low it’s barely audible. You’ll just sit for a few minutes, then you’ll head to bed.

The sound of someone knocking on the front door awakens you.

You blink, trying to get your bearings. The sunlight is streaming in from the balcony. You’re in the living room. You’d fallen asleep on the couch. Which means that it’s…

“Shit! Wait, Will, I’m coming.” You scramble off the couch and rush to the door, hastily turning the deadbolt and unlocking it. “I am so sorry. I was cleaning and I fell asleep on the couch…”

“It’s okay, Moody.”

Oh God, Afton looks good. He always looks good, but now he’s got regular clothes on beneath the open wool coat and you’re staring. Stop staring. “Um, come in. Sorry. I’m still waking up.” You drag a hand through your hair and step aside so he can enter.

“I brought some things to make for breakfast. I noticed your fridge was rather on the empty side, so…I’m just going to put this away for now.”

“Thanks, Will. You didn’t have to do that.” You should be the one serving him food. He’s your guest. You suddenly realize how ill prepared you are. Granted it had been a last minute late night decision to spend the day together, but still.

“The place looks nice. I appreciate the effort. You should have been getting more rest, though.”

“I tried. I couldn’t. So I thought I’d do some cleaning and I just…” Your voice trails off. His coat is draped over the back of the couch. You move to hang it up in the closet.

“I didn’t really sleep either, to be honest.”

“Really?” You slip his coat onto a hanger and close the closet door.

“I was trying to remember the last time I took a day off. I couldn’t.”

William folds his arms, leaning back against the kitchen counter. He’s wearing an ivory sweater. Dark denim pants. Ebony Timberland boots. You’re staring again. Stop that. “You um…you look really good. I mean you always do, but…”

“I don’t believe I’ve gotten my good morning kiss yet.”

“Yeah, okay, but um…can I brush my teeth first?”

“Quickly.”

“Yup. I’m going.” You hurry to the bathroom. Smear an absurd amount of toothpaste in your haste on your toothbrush. Hurriedly scrub your teeth as fast as you can. You end up wearing most of the water from the faucet when you go to rinse.

William’s behind you. Backing you up against the sink as soon as you turn around. “You do have an issue with getting shirts wet, don’t you, Moody? So messy. What am I going to do with you?” He smirks, reaching for the hem of your top. You let him pull it over your head. He captures your lips. “How’s my moody girl doing, hmmm?”

Oh good fucking morning Mr. Afton. Your hand reaches for the obvious bulge straining against his jeans.

“I think you should be naked in my bed.”

“Is that what my girl wants?”

“Yes.”

He grins around another kiss, allowing you to pull him into the bedroom. He sits on the bed and begins to unlace his boots but you kneel down to do it for him and he doesn’t protest. You tuck his socks into the boots. He has such nice feet for a man, you can’t help thinking. Elegant like his hands. Slender ankles. Shapely. Just a random thought as he lifts his hips just long enough for you to drag his pants and briefs off. He reaches with one hand between his shoulders to grab the sweater and pull it off overhead.

The older man lies back in the center of the bed and you climb in next to him. Begin kissing your way down his chest. He smells so good. Some kind of men’s body wash. Another kiss along his abdomen. One hip. You’re working your way down. It’s occurred to you that you haven’t done this yet for him and you want to. You want to taste him and make him feel good with your mouth.

His fingers slot in your hair. You plant a soft kiss along the shaft and then you take the head in your mouth and he sighs, hips shifting a little, relaxing, getting comfortable. It is a lot of cock to suck, but you are determined to do your very best. Your mouth engulfs him further. He’s already filling your mouth and you haven’t even reached the base yet. Feel your nostrils flaring for air. Push down further. Fuck that gag reflex. Keep going. Hitting the back of your throat. Holding him in place. A few short bobs. Release with a gasp. Thick saliva coats him. You stroke and look up at him.

“Fuck, Moody. You are hungry, aren’t you?”

“For you? Always.” You grin. A few more swipes. Break time over. Now to get serious. You plant some sensual kisses on the tip before you descend again. Up and down, lips wrapped tightly around his dick. His fingers in your hair again. You moan around him. Wet sounds when he collides with your throat. Little sighs and hums. You withdraw. Spit the excess saliva from your mouth and run your fingers over the slick. You have never enjoyed this with anyone else as much as you are with William. Of course, you could say the same for every sexual experience you’d had with him thus far. There was a certain frequency you were both attuned to, perfectly aligned.

Engulfed again. His hips rise lazily to meet your mouth. Not urgent yet, just enjoying the sensation of fucking into that wet cavern. His dick slides in and out between the tight ring of your lips. Your fingers dig into his thighs. The hand knotted in your hair a little firmer now. Pelvis not so lax, more demanding. Breath a little quicker. You match his rhythm.

“Moody,” he cautions. His hand relaxes and he stops thrusting. Your mouth makes a loud popping sound when you abandon his member.

You crawl up to kiss his mouth. “Not gonna let me have a taste yet, huh?”

“Not just yet. Trust me when I tell you that I was enjoying that very, very much.”

“Me too.” You sink down next to him. Your lips are still tingling and your throat’s a little sore but you don’t mind. You can’t stop grinning. You’re so ridiculously happy right now.

“That being said, I wouldn’t mind a little appetizer myself.” He shift positions until his face is between your thighs. “We’ve forgotten to take these off, haven’t we?” You’re still wearing your panties. His tongue presses against you through the material. “Oh, fuck Moody. I have missed the taste of that pussy.” He plants one more kiss before reaching for the waistband and tugging. You raise your hips and he slides them off. Another kiss on your mound. The inside of both thighs. He presses the flat wedge of his tongue against your clit.

You moan, threading your fingers through his hair. His tongue flicks over your shyly peeking button. You’d been standing in the shower the last time he’d eaten you out. It feels different in this position. Spread out on clean sheets. No rush. The entire day ahead of you. Wet, sucking kisses scatter your thoughts. He’s watching you. Dark gray eyes. Those gorgeous hands caressing your hips before one slips down. Fingers corkscrewing inside. The stretch and reach. You’re pressing yourself against him. He’s shoving right back. Staccato taps of his tongue on your slit. Teasing between the folds.

“How many times do you think I can make you cum today?” He hums, lips pressing against the inside of each thigh. “What’s the record I’m going to break?”

“Fuck, Gray, I don’t know. The most I’ve ever…touching myself when I was sixteen…maybe five one day when I was really horny…fuck…” He interrupts you with a renewed sharp flick of his tongue against your nub. Fingers working inside you.

“Six then. I think I can manage that for my girl.”

Your back arches. Fingers lost in that thatch of thick hair. Eyes lost in his. The heat of his words spreads across your spine. Flows through your core. You’re his girl. His. You melt in his mouth. That’s it, you’re there. His moaning joins yours. Your free hand knots the sheets. Legs shaking. He’s got you. Letting you ease down. Soft kisses like raindrops. Afton climbs back up. Kisses your mouth still fresh with mint. His heavy with the tang of your nectar. He flops down next to you, grinning.

“That’s one, Moody.”

You groan and giggle. “I should have lied and said three or something. Do you know how sore I’m going to be by the end of the day? Not to mention exhausted.”

“We can take a nap later if you need to.”

“No way. I’m not missing a day with you for sleep. Not worth it.”

“You like me that much, hmmm?”

“I still work at your crappy restaurant, don’t I?” You turn on your side and kiss his cheek. “I do like you that much,” you say more solemnly. Don’t do it. Don’t go down this road.

“This much?” He pinches his index finger and thumb together leaving barely any space. “Or maybe this much?” A little wider.

“Not even close to accurate.” You drag his other hand over and hold both of them wide apart. “More like this.”

“That is quite a lot, Moody. I’m not sure what I’ve done to deserve that.” A soft smile. A band of sunlight peeking from the gap on the side of the blinds rests against his face. Dark chocolate tresses. Lighter bronzed lashes. Alabaster skin turned gold. He laces your fingers together. You bend to kiss his mouth. “Want breakfast now? I mean, real, actual, food.”

“Yeah okay. Right after I shower.” You reluctantly leave his side, picking up your laundry and tossing it in the hamper.

“The feeling is mutual.” You think that’s what you hear when you enter the bathroom, the words a small admission that carry you through your shower.

Or maybe it was just wishful thinking and you imagined them.

***

William Afton in the kitchen is a sight to behold.

There’s something about him being domestic that just tugs at your heart. It also reminds you that he’s another woman’s husband and father to three children but you shove those thoughts away immediately. You don’t want to deal with any of that right now. You’ve finally got him all to yourself. You’re going to enjoy every minute of it.

You help him find all the cookware he needs and accept his offer to manage the rest. You sit at the kitchen table with your chin resting in your palm. His sleeves are pushed up. Those hands you adore are busying themselves, making the most mundane tasks like opening a package or spreading butter or shifting the skillet on the stove seem a wonder. You admire his long frame when he leans back against the counter, hands braced on either side. Forearms still bare. Narrow denim clad hips. The messy hair that’s already tumbling down. That small, secret smile tugging on your heart.

Afton pushes off from the counter and checks on the state of his cooking. The room fills with good scents. Before long you have a plate of food in front of you. Scrambled eggs, hash browns, toast, bacon. Orange juice and coffee. You suddenly realize you’re starving. Everything is cooked perfectly. You hum a happy sigh.

“Good, Moody?”

“It’s all perfect. I should be the one cooking, though. You have to let me another time.”

“I don’t mind.” He takes a sip of coffee and his hand remains on the table resting beside it. You reach for it, letting your fingers tangle together.

You insist on doing the dishes. You don’t have a dishwasher. Your employer insists on helping. Stands beside you at the sink now. There are no accidental brushes beneath the soapy water this time. Every touch is deliberate. You wipe down the table and the counters. He’s leaning back near the sink. You slide your arms around him. Press your face into his sweater. Feel his arms wrap around you, squeezing you tight.

You decide to go to the park nearby.

The swings are unoccupied. You each take one. It’s so easy for those long limbs of William’s to gain momentum. You lean back and close your eyes. Almost like flying. He’s behind you now, waiting when you drag your feet and draw to a halt. Fingers together on the rope. The winter morning sun warm on you. Bare trees beside you, empty branches reaching towards a blue sky. His hand nestled beneath the curtain of hair, at the nape of your neck. Your arm linked through his as you walk together.

“Let’s go home,” he says beside your cheek. As if it is his. One you share together.

Seated soon after on the couch. The television on. You’ve no idea what it’s tuned to. You haven’t raised the volume. Your eyes are on the older man seated next to you. His hands move beneath your shirt. Inside your pants. Lazy kisses. Tender and soft like his touches. “My girl,” he murmurs, over and over. Your eyelids flutter. Movements no longer languid. Rougher kisses. Sharper strokes and thrusts. You whimper. “There you go, my love.” He has called you love before. Common British slang. But never my love. The possessiveness of it. Does he feel the same way you do about him? The absolute ache. His fingers inside you crooking. Your toes curling. The warm rush across your spine. “Will…I want you to be mine, I want…I…”

“I am yours. All yours, Moody. Only yours.”

You unwind around him. His mouth is heavy against yours, swallowing the keening noises you make.

***

“You are a cheater. What kind of rules are these?”

You’re seated across from William at the kitchen table. The Uno card he’s just turned over is one of the blank ones you can customize. You’d written pick up the entire deck resting on the table.

You smirk. “It’s not cheating. Don’t be a sore loser.”

“Who says I’m losing?”

You raise an eyebrow. “Think you can still turn this around?”

“I know so.”

“Want to make a bet?”

“Oh, you’re on.”

“What are we wagering? I’m broke, as you’ll recall.” You slide your foot up your boss’ pants leg.

“Hmmm.” You watch him place a card. Lay one atop it. You’ve only got a half dozen left. Mostly yellows. There’s no way he’s going to be able to recover. “Loser has to get naked?”

“Strip Uno. I like it. Then what?”

“I’m sure you’ll think of something.” He sets his entire hand down on the table. “I concede.”

”Giving up already? That was fast.” Another slide of your foot along his shin. He traps it, massaging your ankle. “I think maybe you just want to be naked in my bed again.”

“I think maybe you’re right.”

A trail of discarded garments mark your passage into the bedroom. You’re both nude, lying in your bed. Bodies resting sideways, spooned together, William behind you. The top thigh pushed upward, cheek lifted, and he’s in.

“Do you ever miss England?” So casually asked. As if you don’t have the pizzeria owner’s cock pistoning in and out of you. Pillow talk before the end of sex.

He huffs against your hair. “You’re so tight. I always seem to forget that. No, not really. I don’t have any particular attachment to it. My family moved when I was still young.”

“And you went from one of the wettest areas to one of the driest states in the country…fuck. This angle is so good.”

“Ironic, isn’t it? Speaking of one of the wettest areas…” He gives your cheek a light slap, thrusting in a little harder. Shifts so he’s kneeling, has more driving force into you, fingers firm on your body.

“Will…”

“You feel so fucking good.” The sounds of his skin striking yours grow more intense. He brings your leg around, still buried in you. Leaning down over you missionary style now. Fucking like the way you had the first night you’d been together. “My moody girl,” he utters, over and over like a mantra. He tucks a hand between your bodies and his thumb works your clit. You’re spread wide open for him. His cock spears you to the hilt. His tongue slices your lips apart. Breath hoarse over your face. “Tell me what you want, my love.” There it is again. Deliberate. Not a mistake.

“Fill me up.”

“Is that what you want? You want me to pump your tight pussy full of my cum?”

“Yes, Will, yes…” You gasp the words, pleading. The telltale knot is coiling within you.

“Moody, you make me so crazy. So crazy about you.” The words are a faint whisper.

You hadn’t imagined it earlier, then. He does feel the same, he does…The orgasm hits hard, surprising you with its intensity. The waves of pleasure ricochet around the cock inside of you. William moans against your throat. You feel the warm liquid of his release filling you, his frame shaking violently.

Afton’s face rests on your pillow now, high cheekbone pressed against the soft surface. Pewter eyes studying you.

“Want to go to the movies?”

You nod eagerly. “I’ll go anywhere with you. Let’s, yes. What’s playing?”

“No idea.” His fingers trace random patterns on your arm. No, not random. Letters. M. O. O. D. Y.

You grin. “Should we smuggle snacks in? Make a quick stop to grab some candy before we go?”

He frowns. “Isn’t that against the rules?”

“Of course it is.”

“You devious girl, you.” He brings your fingertips to his lips.

“It’s what us poor folk have to do.”

“I’ll buy you anything you want at the movies, you know.”

“I know. It’s more fun to be bad, though, isn’t it?”

His teeth nip your shoulder playfully. “I suppose it is.”

***

Matinee show at the small local theater. Some dumb romantic comedy with an actor and actress that are the talk of Hollywood at the moment. The movie has been out since fall; they’ll probably pull it from the the lineup soon. It really doesn’t matter what’s happening onscreen. It’s just an excuse to be together in a different setting.

You’re tucked into the corner at the back. William’s coat is draped on the seat beside you and your new one is atop his. You’re a little nervous, you have to admit. What if you see someone you recognize? There are plenty of excuses to be alone together at work. None for being seen together in public. You wonder again what excuse he gave for his absence at home all day.

You feed him candy coated pieces of chocolate. He tips the bag of popcorn in your direction. A cherry cola slushy washes it all down nicely. You feel his eyes on you. His arm drapes behind you, his knee pressing against yours. It’s all so seemingly casual.

About halfway through the film William whispers in your ear. Bidding you to follow him. He pulls you into one of the restrooms, into the stall and locks the door. Drags you into his lap. Presses his fingers over your mouth. His fingers find their way inside your panties once more. Amazing how he’s reignited you again so quickly. He’s committed to those six orgasms he’d promised earlier. You moan your fourth against the barrier of his hand.

Back in his car, heading home. You run your nails over his thigh. He’s smoking a cigarette.

“Am I stressing you out?” You tease.

He grins, sending a cloudy stream out the cracked window. “Not at all. Reduces the refractory period.”

“I think that’s already been reduced.” You let your fingers snake up further, teasing over the seam of his fly.

Another deep inhale of the nicotine laced bit of paper clutched between his index and middle fingers. You’re nearly back to your apartment. “I think I’m ready to pick up where we left off first thing this morning.”

Your mouth waters.

Afton has you kneeling at his feet. Your front door at his back. The impressive length of his cock shoved back down your throat. His coat is still on, his car keys still in his hand. You’d both been that impatient.

Your eyes lift. He’s looking down at you. Your tongue traces the protruding vein along his shaft. Swirls over the dome. Teases along the frenulum. The older man sucks in a breath. Lets his head fall back against the door. The keys fall from his fingers.

“I want to be inside you.”

You release his cock. He pulls you to your feet and kisses your mouth. Cigarette flavor heavy. Dress coat slipped off broad shoulders. You’re guided to the nearest available surface. Kitchen counter. Bent over. Jeans dragged down just enough so he has access to what he wants. Sinks his prick into your wet tunnel with a heavy sigh. His fingers dig into your hips, slide beneath your shirt to stroke along your spine, tug your hair. Gently at first. Now pulling. A slight burn when the roots are strained against your scalp. His breathing going ragged. You push back to meet him. There’s a chip in the Formica that your jostled fingers keep running across.

Your boss is fucking into you roughly now. A quick round like you’d had in his office. You don’t mind. It’s only midday. There’s still the night ahead of you.

He drags you upright, his fingers cupping your chin, pressing your mouth to his. Expert fingers of his other hand circling over your clit, dragging through the soft petals of flesh, smearing your slippery excess of fluids. His prick pounding your pussy. How will the two of you ever make it through another work day without sneaking away several times? In his office. Parts and Service. You’d even consider the custodial closet near the exit at the rear of the building. His car, after work.

Your nails dig into the forearm braced along your torso. He huffs against your neck. He calls you his girl. You try out the sound of calling him your love. He shudders. It’s enough to send you both over the edge again.

Soft kisses. Languid caresses in the shower. Curled back up together on the couch now.

The perfect afternoon.

#william afton x reader #william afton x you

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romanarose · 1 year

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Hello Sunshine, Won't You Stay?

Santiago Garcia

Triple Frontier Master List

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Summary: A song fic for the wonderful universe created by @astroboots, Homecoming, to Hello Sunshine by, you guessed it besties, my daddy Bruce Springsteen. If you haven't read Homecoming, I'm literally begging you to read it, but Ima be honest, Homecoming is like. THE STANDARD for Triple Frontier fanfiction. Does not take place any specific time, and OBVIOUSLY ITS JUST MY SILLY FIC SO IT'S NOT OFFICIAL IN TIMELINE but just it's when Santi is trying to figure out his place.

A/N: First of all, are y'all tired of my Bruce Springsteen and Fleetwood Mac references all the time? I will not be stopped. But also. Hi Astroboots I hope this isn't weird ;-; I just tend to hear songs and attached it to things and if I get really inspired I write a song fic, and I've been, predictably, listing to a lot of Springsteen and I just had this song going on repeat and thinking about Santi and Homecoming.

Warnings: Nothing much. Anxiety, commitment issues, mentions of death, mentions of sex.

Enjoy!!!

********************

Had enough of heartbreak and pain

I had a little sweet spot for the rain

For the rain and skies of grey

Hello sunshine, won't you stay?

Santiago laid in bed, wide awake as usual. The sun was up, so he was up, old habits die hard, he supposed. He could hear her in the kitchen making coffee and breakfast before she’d be heading out and goddamn if it didn’t smell good… He could get used to this… But he wont. Santiago refuses to. He had started to get used to it, that was the problem. Santiago had begun to form a routine; a dangerous thing for a man like him. He was supposed to be on the go, never staying in one place very long, coming and going as he pleased, french exits and one night stands. Men like Santi couldn’t form routines, can’t afford to. Routines mean regularity, and regularity means familiarity, familiarity means closeness. And closeness… Well that meant he could get hurt. Having something meant that it could be taken away, at any time. And he couldn’t stand to lose her and Frankie. In the morning, Santiago would wake up, take a piss, shower, and complain about something as he stumbled into the kitchen. That’s where she’d push a coffee into his hand with a soft smile and continue singing along to the radio as he leaned over the counter, watching her… Maybe she is talking to him about plans for the day, maybe it’s quiet, and they listen to Bruce Springsteen sing about glory days over the radio waves. After a while, somewhere between the coffee and when Frankie’s bedroom door opening, Santi’s mood had greatly improved, and by the time Frank’s socks are shuffling across the hardwood floors, firm hand patting Santi on the back as he mumbles a greeting on his way over to her, the sun is fully up and the room and the world seem just that might brighter. But see, therein lies the problem, doesn’t it? The world is brighter with them in it. It always had been, of course. Her, Frankie, and the Millers were some of the only things that ever brought him back to the states since his moms death, but everything that had been going on recently between Santiago, her, and Frankie had complicated things. What exactly that was, he wasn’t entirely sure himself. They hadn’t addressed it, they hadn’t talked about it, it simply was, and so far… Santi liked that. Until Frank kissed him.

You know I always liked my walking shoes

But you can get a little too fond of the blues

You walk too far, you walk away

Hello sunshine, won't you stay?

It wasn’t even anything out of the ordinary, they had kissed each others heads before; they were from very affectionate cultures, touching and chaste kisses were the norm, even between men, but this felt different, domestic… Like every morning, Santiago leaned against the counter as he drank his coffee, Billy Joel was singing “She’s Always A Woman to Me” and he couldn’t help but think of her ‘she steals like a thief but she’s always a woman to me…’ Right on time, as Santi’s mood lightened from the ‘grumpy old man’ Will referred to him as and into something more akin to a normal, functioning adult without commitment issues, Frankie emerged from his room. Santi auditorially tracked his steps, as always, as he did anyone within earshot but Frankie was for a particular reason. Bedroom doorway, down the hall, stop to take a piss, back down the hall, around the couch, hip checking the kitchen table yet again, and Santi waited, refusing to admit how eager he was for his friend's familiar touch on his back. It came, as it always did, the large hand tender on Santi’s ever-tense back, but accompanied by something else; a gentle kiss on the side of Santi’s head. Santiago watched her turn around, eyeing him nervously and looking questioningly at Frank. She knew what this would do. Catfish was in way too much of a sleep haze to connect any dots, but she always knew exactly how Santiago’s brain ticked. So, for the last week, Santi had avoided both of them, getting up ungodly early, going for a run until he knew both had left, and then finding any excuse to stay away from them. “Ben’s truck needs work” “Gotta help my sister move” “Gonna be on a zoom meeting for a few hours”. It was all bullshit and everyone knew.

You know I always loved a lonely town

Those empty streets, no one around

You fall in love with lonely, you end up that way

Hello sunshine, won't you stay?

Apparently, she had enough. Maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the fact Santi had refused dinner yet again, and mumbled something about “getting out your hair soon”, and Santiago should’ve know what that would do to her; she had probably started plotting the second he disappeared. Never one to take Santiago’s bullshit, when Santi woke up this morning, he heard the distinct sound of the coffee pot going, and Fleetwood Mac on the radio; she had gotten up before him on purpose. ‘I’ve been ‘fraid of changin’ cause I built my life around you…’ he heard her sing softly along. Had she and Frank done that? The spare bedroom, the way she kept his things, the way Fish always asked him to stay, as if it was a favor to him, not an inconvenience… that was the problem. The kiss on the side of his head, the light way it had fluttered against his hairline, how Frankie hadn’t even looked at him, like it was completely normal. That wasn’t the worst part. The part that got him, the part that made Santiago go into fight or flight, made every nerve stand up on edge was that, yeah, it felt normal. It felt right. And he wanted it again. But Santi couldn’t intrude on their marriage anymore than he already had, it wasn’t plausible, it wasn’t possible. What would the guys think? How would he explain this to his sisters? Since when was he gay? He’d have to come out and god, he’d have to admit that part of himself to his own reflection first. It was all to much. So he was hiding. Hiding in his bed, tracking every sound in the house, hoping to god she’d leave. It was saturday, who knew what the schedule looked like, weekends always depended, and since he had missed any time with her or Frank this week, it was all up in the air. She did this on purpose. She knew she had to corner him, force him to make a choice, one way or another, and she knew what he wanted. She’d seen it in his eyes every time he watched her, everytime she watched him watch Frank leave the room, and that time they spent together, as he watched Frankie pound into her and he couldn’t decide which one of the pair of them he wanted to be more…

You know I always liked that empty road

No place to be and miles to go

But miles to go is miles away

Hello sunshine, won't you stay?

But the fact is he wanted to be both. He wanted to touch her, feel her, fuck her, but he also wanted to taste Frankie; his mouth, his cock, every inch of skin on the man. Why did the idea scare him so much? Was it the fact he’d be entering into a relationship with two people? Would it be admitting he was bisexual? Or was it the fact he’d be opening himself up to more than just friendship. He had friends, close friends he loved dearly, he had vulnerabilities when it came to them, seeing Will shot made him lose focus and watching Tom die certainly had an affect on him that no one dared bring up, but there was also the death of his mom, a life in the military and a litany of other issues in that brain of his that caused him to push anyway people that got too close. How was he supposed to bury another friend? None the less someone he loved? And death wasn’t the only problem, what if they got tired of him? And that’s not a what if, that was a when. She said he had a home here, that this place would always be his… but no one ever wanted him around that long. Santiago was a temporary person, a rolling stone, people could take him in small doses, but this little morning routine he had come to love so much would only end in disaster. One day she would be tired of making coffee for him and yell at him to make his own, one day Santi would say something hurtful as he always did when trying to push people away, one day Frankie would be over Santi staring at his wife’s ass… But what if they didn’t? The sound of singing and the smell of food was growing tempting… What if they really, genuinely wanted him to have him long term in their life? And what if Santi could push back all his instincts to run away and allow himself a home… because this feels like home, this feels like forever… What if he just… tried? It could hurt, it could hurt real fucking bad… but god, the glimpse of domesticity and the little slice of this american life he had seen so far, he didn’t want to lose. Was it worth the risk? Maybe he didn’t have to make a commitment, not forever, not right now… but he could make a choice for right now. Frankie was in the kitchen now, no doubt giving her a kiss on the cheek, and he could keep the ghost of his lips on his skin. He could allow them in, allow himself to love and be loved in return by two people who already know the darkest sides of him and still chose, no, fought to keep him in their lives… plus, he really had to pee…

And miles to go is miles away

Hello sunshine, won't you stay?

Hello sunshine…

Santiago put on his socks, hating the feeling of cold foot on his feet and with a deep breath, he opened his bedroom door, the sound of her voice singing Anerican Girl became joyfully louder as the wooden barrier was lifted. He allowed the music, the instruments and her voice and Frankie’s in tandem with Tom Petty to surround him, fully and completely surrendered as it penetrated through him and Santi thought ‘I can get used to this...’ After the bathroom and his usual shower, he dressed and nervously walked into the kitchen, where he found her cooking, and Frank in Santi’s usual position; leaning over the counter, staring at her ass. ‘She was an American girl; raised on promises…’ Santi knew Frankie wouldn’t do what he had done before, not at the risk of scaring Santi off again, so Santiago slide up beside his friend “buenos dias, hermano”, patted his back and, shakily and hesitantly, kissed Frank’s temple, and whispered, loud enough that he knew she heard too, but quiet enough he could pretend he only said it to himself. “Te echaba de menos”

She turned around, his favorite mug in hand and a knowing smile on her face. “Hello, sunshine” She extended the mug to him, a gesture Santi hesitated on taking, knowing the weight of what it meant. “You staying for coffee?”

He looked at her kind eyes, looked at Frank’s softly waiting face, and back to the coffee, taking it in his hand.

************

ANYWAY I HOPE YA'LL LIKED THIS I HOPE IT WASN'T TERRIBLE AND I HOPE IT WASN'T CRINGE TO WRITE A FIC FOR A FIC

I've had a v v v v bad day with so much anxiety (I aint had an anxiety attack in like a year, but two this week thanks to bad friends) andalthough it's one am and my first day of class is literally tomorrow, writing this was the only thing that managed to get me to stop shaking and think about something ELSE

Ima take a moment to plug Awakening Series Masterlist, if you're into poly/gay/group sex, shit like that, might enjoy it! It's got 3 parts right now all leading up to group sex, but the next few chapters will be a few different things!

Also, if you like how I write Santi, check out my PRIDE AND JOY! My recently completed series Leather and Lace. Check all warnings bc it's pretty intense in content but I've been told it was handled well, and I'm very happy with how it ended, and opening up the gate for Frankie's story next <3

And to Astroboots, I gotta say again, I love homecoming (and red flags!!!) and I wanna say a huuuggee THANK YOU!!! For writing it!!! it makes me so happy and so horny at the same time.

tagging people who I know read homecoming/reblogged the first story or something, instead of my usual whores, sorry if you literally dont care, you can ignore this lol

my loves, @welcometostayingawake @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @axshadows @softlyspector

#homecoming #santiago garcia #frankie morales #francisco morales #santiago pope garcia #triple frontier #triple frontier fanfiction #Santiago garcia fanfiction #frankie morales fanfiction #oscar isaac #pedro pascal

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bedbellyandbeyond · 1 year

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You’re A Dad Now

(Story Post)

“Gods, what have I gotten myself into…” Asger had been living at the German APID facility for a few days now. They accommodated him with his own single room while Tand and kids were in a separate quad room. Korsy was working on paperwork to move them to the Canadian APID branch, but in the meantime, he and Dusty had other work to do, so Asger and the Dark Realmers would hang out here for some time. It was a big change for Tand and his kids. Living in the dim dark woods for so long, where the sun never rose, they were having a hard time adjusting to all the light in this realm. They constantly kept the overhead lights off in their room, with just the night stand lamps on, and barely left, so Asger made a point of bringing them their meals from the cafeteria to their door. Tand didn’t seem to like having him around but had accepted him as their Earth Realm guide, and the kids loved him, so he would hang out with them for a few hours each day. He would go out on occasion and buy them clothes and toys, and the kids had some fun learning how to do up buttons and zippers. Finding them shoes was difficult as their feet were different in that they were digitigrade and long, so he figured something more custom would have to be figured out later. Now a couple days in, Dr Vermeulen had the results of Tand’s blood test and speculations were confirmed.

Tand was pregnant. When they tried to do an ultrasound though, he became very uncomfortable, and it had to be postponed until later. His blood results, however, returned positive for anemia and several nutritional deficiencies. His health would need close monitoring for a while and more blood work soon to see if his new diet helped in these areas. For now, his pregnancy would be considered high risk until his health improved and an ultrasound could be properly done. “So, it’s like you’re a dad now,” Korsy commented. He and Dusty had come to check up on Asger’s situation and were having lunch with him out at a restaurant. “But I’m not their father, and Tand hates me, and I’m starting to think I should have never interfered with them at all,” Asger said. “I mean, yeah, probably,” Korsy admitted. “It wasn’t your place to tell them what’s best for them. Plus, you knew you weren’t allowed to take anything from the rift.” “Now hold on,” Dusty said puffing his chest. “I disagree. Sure, Tand and the children were surviving out there, but they weren’t living. And yes, he managed to get through three pregnancies on his own, but there’s always risk to it, and who knows if he would survive a fourth without medical assistance. If things went wrong, those children could be left all alone to fend for themselves. They’d never survive. You’re doing the right thing.” Asger lowered his head into his hands. “What do I do now?” “Well, do you want kids? ‘Cause it seems like you have kids,” Korsy said. “They’re Tand’s kids, though,” Asger said. “I can’t just insert myself into their lives.” “You already did,” Korsy said. “And like, be honest with me. Would you really have done all this for them if you didn’t have a little crush?” Asger was taken aback. “What, on Tand?” “Of course, on Tand. Do you think we’re stupid?” Korsy shook his head. “Asger, you’re a prude. I know. But tell me you weren’t a little aroused when that cute guy tried to mate with you in the woods.” “I wasn’t! I mean, I suppose you could say he’s attractive… But I have decency,” Asger said. “I’ve heard enough lies. Dusty. Get a read.” Dusty shook his head. “I don’t need a read. He’s completely smitten.” Asger blushed and shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Also, I don’t appreciate my cousin making light of someone trying to force themselves on me.” Korsy sighed. “Okay, fair. Sorry about that. I’m sure it was scary.” “It was. I had it under control, but still…” Asger complained. “Anyway, they’re your responsibility now,” Korsy said. “Anything beyond the rift is the responsibility of the dark elves, and as a dark elf yourself, this family is your responsibility. Regardless of your exile.” “Jag vet… But what good can I do when I’ve betrayed Tand’s trust?” Asger asked. “Honestly, I think he understands what you’re trying to do for them, he’s just stubborn,” Dusty said. “And you can’t blame him for being cautious. He’s been alone a long time. Where are those kids’ other parents? And the doctor said he’s still young. Where are his parents, hm?” Asger felt sick to his stomach now, thinking once again about the young Tand, having kids all by himself. “I don’t even know if he wanted to have kids in the first place… He shows some signs of resentment towards them. He was even ready to let them go with us without him before.” “You said his species mates every time they meet up because they’re so few in number and live separately,” Korsy said. “But is that something he knew inherently, or was that something someone told him to justify taking advantage of him?” “I…don’t want to think about that right now. I’m losing my appetite,” Asger said. “Have you talked to your mother since all this?” Dusty asked. “Yes… I had a call with her yesterday,” Asger sighed. “She has…mixed feelings. I think she's proud of me for helping, but rather upset about my exile.” “That's your dad's fault, not yours,” Dusty said. “He's such an asshole…” “As strict as my father can be, I did break the rules at the end of the day,” Asger admitted. “Such rules are not made without reason. We know far too little about Mörkret. It is only reasonable to fear the other side.” “But Tand and the kids are dark elves, right? They deserve to be here,” Dusty said. “I still can't confirm that they are elves,” Asger said. “You haven't checked their mark?” Korsy asked. “The dark elf mark isn't in a very conspicuous place, you know,” Asger reminded. “It's not like I can go around dropping people's pants.” “Didn't you say Tand dropped his pants for you?” Korsy asked. “Should've seen it then.” “I'm sorry, but searching his inner thigh was the last thing I wanted to do in that moment!” Asger defended. “I mean, he literally wanted you to give him attention down there anyway…” Korsy retorted. “Not everyone's like you, Korsy,” Asger said. “I can't just lose my dignity for anyone who offers.” Korsy shrugged. “Your loss…” “You did the right thing,” Dusty assured. “And anyway, we don't know if Tand really wanted to sleep with you or if he was just doing it to get it over with.” Asger frowned. “Yeah…” Korsy raised an eyebrow at his cousin's reaction. “You dog, you.” Asger sat up straighter. “Excuse me?” “You really do have a crush on Tand.” Asger huffed. “Have some respect.” “You didn't say no.” Korsy curled his lips. “You don't want to just be another John, you wanted him to want you.” “Stop.” “You wanted him to find you handsome and charming. Heroic, even.” “You don't know what you're saying.” “You want to hold his hand. You want him to kiss you.” Asger suddenly flushed, remembering those gentle lips on his own. “…” Dusty’s eyes widened. “…Did you kiss him?” “No…” Asger shook his head. “He kissed me. But just to get me in the mood…” “Were you in the mood?” Korsy asked. “Definitely not,” Asger said. “We are not discussing this further.” “Okay, okay. Sheesh.” Korsy had mostly finished his food so he leaned back in his chair and stretched. He paused when he noticed a sly look on Dusty's face, his lips curling devilishly. “What?” “Nothing,” Dusty said, waving it off. “If you have something to say…” Asger lead. “Well…” Dusty propped his chin up. “I was just thinking it must run in the family.” “What?” Asger asked. Korsy rolled his eyes. “Don't encourage him…” Asger raised an eyebrow. “I'd like to know what your friend here has to say.” “It just seems you boys both have a knack for suppressing your feeling,” Dusty said. “You could benefit from being a bit more open.” “I am open,” Korsy said. “I’m an open book! I tell you a lot of things!” Dusty shrugged. “Your book might be open, but you have pages torn out.” “My pages are perfectly intact,” Korsy rebuked. “Alright. Tell me about your pregnancy scare,” Dusty said. Korsy faltered. “I… Well…” “Pregnancy scare?” Asger asked. “You got someone pregnant?” “No, a scare's a scare,” Korsy corrected. “No one got pregnant. And I don’t talk about it because it's not my place to talk about it, you know? It involves another person. People deserve privacy…” “Fine. What's your father's full name?” Dusty asked. “Uhh… Günther Larsen Korsgaard,” Korsy recalled. “Don't ever call him that. Only my mother and his mother could call him that.” “What was your mother's name?” Dusty asked. Korsy tensed a little. “Gesine.” “Tell me about her,” Dusty said. Korsy forced himself to relax. “She was lovely. Bravest person I ever met. She loved cinnamon and collecting animal skulls.” “How did she pass away?” Korsy immediately clammed up. “How did you lose your leg?” Dusty pressed. Korsy stayed silent. “That's enough,” Asger said. “My farster's accident is a sore spot for the entire family. We do not speak easily of it.” “So it was an accident?” Dusty picked out. “I said that's enough,” Asger ordered. “We get your point. Leave it alone.” Dusty waved his hands in front of him. “Sorry. I'll drop it. I can get carried away.” Asger sighed. “I should get back to Tand and the kids. I was going to show them their first movie.” “Ooh, what movie?” Dusty asked. “I'm not sure yet… I'm between Pippi and Moomins.” “Oh, hard decision,” Korsy said, suddenly all chatty again. “But you have to go with Pippi, right? Make your Swedish side proud.” “You're right, it has to be Pippi,” Asger said. “I can show them the Moomins later.” “Wait, Pippi? Like Pippi Longstockings?” Dusty asked. “Pippi Langstrumpf. You know the show?” Asger asked. Dusty nodded quickly. “I watched the show with Dante when I was a kid! She's Swedish?” “Of course! They showed her in Canada?” Asger asked, astounded. “The animated show was actually a Canadian/German/Swedish collab aired around the world,” Korsy informed, checking is phone. “I watched it as a kid in Canada too.” “And here I thought the rest of the world did not know her marvel. I'll be choosing one of the live action films, however,” Asger said. He pushed out his chair, and placed some cash on the table to cover his meal. “Still, I should get to it.” “I'm sure the kids are going to love it,” Dusty said. “Tand too! I can’t imagine he’s seen anything like that.” “I'd ask to come watch with you, but I got some work to do before bed,” Korsy said. “Work?” Dusty asked. “Aren't we off for today?” “You are. I have to do some rescheduling since our elven detour,” Korsy said. “We're gonna have to do some doubling back tomorrow…” “Boo…” Dusty pouted. “Well, it's not late enough to call Grey yet, so I'm gonna see if I can find him a souvenir.” “Sounds like a plan. So, I can get the waiter to bring you the bill?” Korsy said directly to Dusty. “Me?” Dusty frowned. “You were serious about that?” “Yep. I’ve bought every meal since we got here and you don’t need to eat,” Korsy said. “I should’ve never told you that…” Dusty said pouting. “Fine.” He started to pull out his wallet. Asger chuckled and put a couple more bills on the table. “I’ll get it this time. Don’t worry.” “Hey! No! You shouldn’t be paying for shit,” Korsy said. “He needs to learn.” “It’s fine, I have plenty of funds,” Asger said. “Yeah, but you’re out of the job now, so you should be saving,” Korsy said. Asger started backing away. “I’m leaving. What’s on the table is on the table.” “So chivalrous,” Dusty said, smiling coyly. “Korsy, you could learn something from your cousin.” “I’ve literally paid every bill until now!” “Okay, okay. Calm down, big boy.” “You’re all too much.”

#lore #Asger #Dusty #Korsy #Tand #implied mpreg

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medicallymercury · 6 months

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And Another One - Casualty Hiatus Thoughts - 2/?

I'm still ill but I went into uni anyway like the brave little soldier that I am! (Every night, I decide that all the work that I need to do can be done “tomorrow” but we’re rapidly running out of those until the deadlines. I have lost my train pass and student ID. All I’ve listened to all day is the demo version of Geyser by Mitski. Vague sense of doom.) I got myself some Tesco Finest cookies on the way home. I’m just complaining here.

I'm back for more already, seems like I've opened the floodgates but this one won't be as lengthy as the other one was. Genuinely sorry I can’t shut up. I thought I was done for a while but I put an episode from series 36 on in the background thinking that I'd be able to do stuff while it played but got distracted by my opinions.

Potentially all over the place again, though this one does manage to be mostly about the series 36 mother-hell storylines. So there's a theme. Warning - I started going off about Dark Room which has a lot of transphobia in it and that’s part of what I talked about.

I really don’t know how I feel about the resolutions of Sah and Teddy’s storylines with their mums. Okay, we already know I'm about to be going on about Sah and Teddy's mother problems storylines but I'm sure there are other characters who this is/isn't applicable to - feel free to let me know about it. As a recap: it’s kind of hard for me to figure out how to describe exactly what happens at the end of Friends Like These, but if anyone has ever seen that quote that’s like “I tried to ask my parents to leave the room, but not my life”, Teddy asks Gaynor to leave the room and she leaves his life. A couple months later a patient situation causes Teddy to call his mum (and that is not brought up again when he gets trapped in a mine in the next episode) and also we are left to assume that all is fine now. Pretty simplistically, in Enough, Sah and Jools talk it out after Kevin has another stroke and then they are also just portrayed as being okay forever by the end of that episode.

I can absolutely believe that these characters, sad and work-stressed and not always the most emotionally mature, would forgive their mothers. I don’t even disagree with it happening on a story level because I think it could make for a really good development in those stories, or even just a less-than-happy ending. What I don’t enjoy is how these endings are presented as being happily-ever-afters and that everything is supposed to be fine now because they’ve forgiven/reconciled with their mothers who haven’t really done anything to deserve it. Jools is objectively neglectful, and telling Sah they were always enough does not make up for that. I think Gaynor’s behaviour is emotionally abusive; she’s controlling his life, emotionally manipulating him, she’s trying to even limit his contact with people other than her (and she has been doing this, he “wasn’t allowed friends”). Unless I'm wrong, we don’t see or hear from Gaynor at all between Friends Like These and We Need To Talk About Ollie. I don’t doubt they love their kids but that doesn’t make them good parents, and it’s not on their kids to be doing the work to improve the relationships. If we’re getting these forgiveness endings then Jools and Gaynor need to put more effort into proving they’ve changed. Or (and I'd probably find this more interesting cause I'm mean). Forgiveness needs to be presented as something that isn’t this simple happy ending because it doesn't feel like that in these circumstances. I respect the potential misery of the undeserved forgiveness, I love misery for them, especially when they’re both in mother-hell together, I am mean. But if you want to give them a happily-ever-after, keep them away from their mothers or make their mothers do the work.

They make Sah be the bigger person way too much, actually. In Dark Room, why does Sah have to be nice to Scott when Scott deserves to get re-beaten to a pulp? I don’t care that his mum is also terrible. Not only did he bully them when they were teenagers, he tried to ruin their whole life as a fully grown adult. Their mum is terrible as well and you don’t see them acting like that. They don’t need to be the bigger person and try to help Scott and his also terrible mother, they need a weapon of mass destruction. Also, why is Sah’s deadname used so excessively in series 36? Or at all? Ever? I’m sure there were ways around the audience ever needing to actually know what it was, even if they felt like the story required the implication of characters using it. Another potential Casualty hot take, maybe? I don't think Sah's dad is all that great of a parent either. Obviously it is entirely Jools' fault that Sah has to be his carer at such a young age, he had no control over that and Jools is definitely the worse parent, but getting back with Jools without telling Sah, cancelling plans with Sah to go on dates with Jools, excusing Jools’ pretty transphobic remarks and acting like Sah has to forgive Jools because he has really isn’t great. They were right when they said “it’s not just you she left”. IT’S! NOT! JUST! KEVIN! SHE! LEFT! It annoys me that Casualty is like ‘this action will have consequences’ about that scene because Sah is right. The only person I truly like from Sah’s pre-joining-Casualty life is Bill Phillipsen (and his dead wife) and he died. I knew you very briefly/not at all but I miss you Bill and Jean <\3

This post is absolutely the post for me to start getting into the connections between the mother-hell storylines but I won’t in full. They are kind of this pair of opposites, not just on this wider level of overinvolved mother vs uninvolved mother, there are a lot of patterns I’ve noticed in the episodes and the dialogue. I’d find them all now but it's 2am and I need to be awake at 8am at the latest so I’m putting off compiling that list for another day. Some faves that I can remember off the top of my head: opposite Jan advice scenes, Gaynor really struggling to say she’s proud of Teddy even though he really wants her to while one of the first things Jools tries to say to Sah is that she’s proud of them and they tell her not to, “you won’t see me back if I go” vs “I’m back now if it’s not too late”. I really like these connections, that's why I'm so passionate about what I don't agree with in these storylines.

I didn't mention this in my last post but I got my hands on a bootleg of The Play That Goes Wrong with Milo Clarke as Max and it's very enjoyable. I've been meaning to watch TPTGW at least since I watched both series of the show, probably longer, and I succumbed to the Casualty brainrot and and had to see his version. All I'll say: He really knows how to play aunt based nepotism and situations that could be solved with polyamory.

Based on when one of the episodes is set to air, I don’t think we’ll see Casualty back until about December 30th, unless we are gonna have another break between episodes once it comes back. I don’t really care that much and also, Christmas/New Years episode? The most recent Christmas episode was that one where they were like “what if it was last year?” back in 2021 and that’s always been a weird choice to me. I just want a silly little festive one, normal Casualty episode featuring carol singing and tinsel and the implication of a really intense staff party (we will never get the Sah/Teddy Christmas party of my dreams, not this year cause they’re in the current situation, not last year cause no Christmas episode and also the stuff with Jan was happening then, not the year before…). The only thing that bothers me about the hiatus is the inevitable time skip, so much time will have elapsed in universe by the time it comes back so I feel like we will have missed a lot of the immediate aftermath of stuff that happened at the end of Driving Force.

#mitski may not know it but her music is about the questionable relationships in the pretend hospital #you're my number one. you're the one i want. and i've turned down every hand that has beckoned me to come. so true mitski #geyser is such a good song. I WILL BE THE ONE YOU NEED THE WAY I CAN'T BE WITHOUT YOU.#shilling for mitski cause my love mine all mine got popular and i want people to listen to her other songs thanks for noticing #bbc casualty #casualty #shoelace fandom #teddy gowan #sah brockner

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incendio22 · 1 year

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FOR THE HOPE OF IT ALL

Pt 2 Chapter 9: A Sebastian Sallow Date

I let out the two braids in my hair, leaving it a wavy mess. For some reason, though, it looks rather pretty. Sebastian hasn't let a word slip out of his mouth regarding tonight. He said it was top secret, with a massive smirk on his face. While I kept telling him how much I despise him, he just kept laughing at me which made the fiery hatred inside me feel even more intense.

He meets me outside of the Great Hall, wearing black pants and a white shirt. He did something to his hair, so it looks more put together than normally. On his lips is a massive smile and he has the biggest bouquet of flowers I have ever seen in his hands. I can't help but smile when I see him, even though I try my best to play it cool.

''Wow,'' he says in a low voice, seeming to struggle getting his words out. ''Just wow.''

''You don't look so bad yourself,'' I tell him a confident voice.

He gives me the flowers and I admire them before thanking him.

''So, where are you taking me anyway?'' I ask him curiously.

''It's a surprise,'' he says with a smirk.

''You know I hate surprises,'' I complain.

''I know,'' he says, still grinning. ''And you hate me, so I'm making this the worst start to a date in history. That way, everything that comes next will be an improvement.''

''You're so stupid,'' I say, holding a laugh back.

''Say it again,'' he says with a smirk. ''It was kind of hot.''

I roll my eyes at him and he just keeps smirking. He seems nervous, given how much he has smirked since we met up.

''Let me blindfold you,'' he says firmly.

''Sounds exciting,'' I tell him in a daring voice.

Even if I'm giving into my fiery feelings for just a little bit, I feel more alive than ever. My instincts are telling me to throw myself at him just so I can have a taste of that hateful desire that's been driving me insane.

''Don't be silly,'' he says firmly, which gives me chills.

He ties something around my head, making everything go black. His puts his hands on my shoulders, carefully pushing me in front of him. I feel one of his fingers against my bare neck and my skin feels as if he's burning a hole through it. I never felt this kind of intensity before. We walk up many stairs and it sounds as if he opens a door. He removes the blindfold.

I'm in a room I have never seen before. It looks as if there's no ceiling, but a crystal clear night sky. Along the walls there are massive, dark curtains from the floor to the ceiling and tons of lit candles. It's breathtakingly beautiful. Sebastian waves his wand, making aurora borealis appear on the night sky. I have to gasp for air. He knows I love the night sky, but I never told him that I always dreamt of seeing aurora borealis.

''I told you it would only get better if I started at the bottom,'' his voice is soft.

''This is really beautiful, Sebastian,'' I tell him, still unable to take my eyes from the enchanted ceiling.

In the middle of the room there is a table with even more candles on it with a wide selection of chocolates.

''I know you love chocolate,'' he says in a low voice, sounding slightly embarrassed. ''But I never asked what your favourite was, so I bought them all.''

All the hatred I felt towards him just moments ago is all gone in this moment. It feels as if my heart is melting. He walks over to the table and pulls out one of the chairs. I sit and he moves me closer to the table.

''Well, if you're gonna break my heart this is a good start,'' he says with a laugh.

''Oh, I can do that,'' I tell him jokingly.

''No, for real,'' he says. ''You can.''

We sit in silence for a little bit, taking it all in.

''Thank you for coming,'' he says, looking into my eyes. ''I know you despise me, so it really means a lot.''

I feel as if I'm at war with myself. On the one hand I came here to get closure, but on the other hand I also came because there is a fire inside of me that only appears when I'm around him. It's as if he's magnetic, making it impossible for me to stay away.

''Well,'' I say. ''Remember what I said? If I don't feel anything when this is over, this is the last time we meet like this.''

He looks down, I can see that his eyes look sad. But that's the way it is. This night is all I need to know if there is something between us.

''You're like, really shitty at apologies,'' I tell him out of nowhere. It's one of the things I've been wanting to get off my chest.

''I know,'' he replies. ''I'm trying to get better, though. But I figured showing that I'm sincere might be better than saying it.''

I am struggling to understand how the man that ended things with me in such a childish way is resonating like this.

''How are these reflections coming from the same man that didn't talk to me for three months? And didn't even apologize properly after hurting me?'' I ask him, genuinely wondering.

''How?'' he repeats, but I suspect that he's just trying to buy himself some time. ''I think... I finally managed to forgive myself. And stopped sabotaging for myself.''

I give him a surprised look.

''How can I trust you?'' I ask, feeling a bit upset that it seemed so easy for him to forgive himself and just now turn into the perfect man. My mother always told me that if something seems too good to be true, it usually is. He has given me many reasons doubt him, but something about him seems sincere. He is avoiding eye contact, but as he starts speaking he looks into my eyes.

''I promise you that I will do my very best to take care of your heart,'' he says in a soft voice. ''But it all really comes down to you. If you want to trust me. And I understand if you don't. I really do.''

He really is saying all the right things. My gut is telling me that this is right. This is the way it's supposed to be. My heart is aching from how much I want him. It's as if Garreth never existed, completely forgotten.

He and Sebastian are complete opposites. Sebastian is thoughtful, Garreth is a talker. Sebastian wants to keep things private, Garreth wants everyone to know. Garreth makes me feel safe, but Sebastian feels like home.

I take a bite of chocolate and it is the most delicious chocolate I've ever had. I never tried anything like it before.

''Where'd you get this?'' I ask.

''Oh, the chocolate?'' he asks and I think I can see him blushing. ''I actually had it delivered from London.''

''It's delicious.'' I tell him.

He stares into my eyes and I feel weak from his eyes burning into me so intensely. He looks so handsome in the low light.

''So,'' he starts. ''Garreth?''

I knew this one was coming, but nonetheless I felt completely unprepared and baffled when it pops out of his mouth.

''He's just a friend,'' I tell him.

Even though we kissed, twice, I still couldn't see him as anything more than just a friend. My words are truthful, but of course I expect Sebastian to argue.

''Yeah,'' Sebastian starts. ''He was really friendly to you the other night.''

He's referring to the kiss. Even when we kissed, I couldn't stop thinking about Sebastian. I even looked in Sebastian's eyes as I was kissing Garreth.

Sebastian puts his fingertips on top of my hand, stroking my hand lightly and starts moving his fingertips up my arm. I get shivers, but it also feels so incredibly sensual. I feel as if my entire body is on fire and I can feel my cheeks flushing. His fingertips move higher up my arm and he circulates them a little bit around my collarbone. Eventually his fingertips are tracing my neck and the fiery sensation is getting even more intense. I forget to breathe.

''Is this what friends do?'' he asks in a low voice.

I shake my head, hungry for his touch.

''Use your words,'' he tells me firmly.

''Friends don't do that,'' I say in a low voice, almost as if I'm hypnotized by his touch.

''Exactly,'' he says firmly.

He pulls away his hand and I put my fingers on my neck where he just had them, still feeling the burning from his touch.

''Do you want him?'' Sebastian asks in a low voice, staring into my eyes. I shake my head. ''Do you want me?''

I'm conflicted. My body wants him, but my heart still feels too fragile to commit to anyone.

''No,'' I tell him softly. I feel powerful telling him that. ''I won't forgive you for giving me one good night. I need more before I can be yours again.''

He nods understandingly.

''I won't lie to you. It wasn't the response I was hoping for,'' his voice is low. ''But I understand. And I already told you. I'm waiting as long as I need. And if you don't want me to wait, let me know.''

I nod as I think about all the things that could be. All the passion between us, the tension. It feels so good just thinking about it.

''But I must ask you not to kiss other guys in front of me again,'' he says firmly. ''You know I want your lips all to myself. But until you have made up your mind, please don't let me see anyone else having you.''

''Or else?'' I ask daringly.

''You don't want to know,'' he says in a deadly serious voice as a smile is curling on his lips.

#sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x reader #sebastian sallow x you #hogwarts legacy #ominis gaunt #slytherin #fanfic #fanfiction #for the hope of it all

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lcs-library · 9 months

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Safeshiptember Day 7: Fantasy AU/Modern AU

Taglist: @dango-daydreams

Lu wiped a bead of sweat from her brow as she sat up, admiring the polished floor of the ballroom.

It was an average day for her, meaning she’d simply tidy up her parts of the castle, possibly have the soon-to-be king’s retainer bother her, and help the other servants with their tasks. Certainly not the most exciting thing, but it was satisfying and paid well, so who was she to complain?(Plus there was a bonus of a cute ruler, but she could never truly admit to that.)

She picked up her bucket, turning around to go to the next area of the palace, only to be met with a grumpy retainer in her face.

“Woah! Masumi, don’t scare me like that!”

“Didn’t mean to,” he deadpanned, sighing.

“Well? What do you want?” she asked, promptly dodging him to get to where she needed to go.

“Prince Sakuya needs you,” he said, following her down the hallway.

“He can have any other handmaiden, and besides, isn’t that your job?”

“He asked for you.”

“No he didn’t.”

Masumi took in a breath, deciding that it wouldn’t be best to argue with her.

“Okay, so he didn’t.”

“Thank you.”

“But I can’t find him.”

“Did you even try?”

“Not really.”

“Masumi, that’s your job!”

“He wants you more.”

“Well, he can have any other handmaiden in the castle, he doesn’t need me!” Lu exclaimed, hoping she could pass the red on her cheeks off as anger.

“He said he wants you.”

“Didn’t you just say you couldn’t find him?”

“Yeah, but he’s been talking about you nonstop.”

“He should know my skills are about the same as any other servant here,” Lu replied with a sigh.

“Just go. I’m done looking.”

“Masumi-“ she couldn’t get another word out, wailing as Masumi pushed her aside to casually amble towards the kitchen, once more abandoning his duties.

Sure, he was never the delinquent type, but the amount of times he pushed his work regarding Sakuya onto her was starting to get ridiculous. He never did this until about a few months ago, but why? Lu could only groan as she wiped the spilled contents of the bucket from her already messy frock, setting the supplies down to go look for the prince in his stead.

Her shoulders slumped over as she checked every room in the corridor, even if she already had her suspicions as to where he was.

Not in the parlor, nor in the music room, but surely, she found him in the library.

He looked almost angelic as she peeked in, his red hair sparkling in the light as he paced around the room, going over another monologue, even if he knew full well nobody would be in the audience. That was, aside from one person.

Lu. She’d often find him there, reciting pieces to himself when he was done with his daily lessons. It was why she’d always make sure to clean this area of the palace last, just to hear him improve each day, to hear the wonderful stories he wished to tell.

She sat for a moment, waiting until he finished his performance, before gently pushing open the large door, making the prince jump.

“Your majesty!”

Sakuya nearly shot out of his skin, dropping the script he was holding.

“Oh, it’s just you, Lucille. What brings you of all people here?” He asked, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Your retainer is failing at his job again.”

Sakuya had to laugh, kneeling to pick up the dropped book.

“It’s not like I need one, anyway. I’m eighteen now.”

“And your coronation is in a week.”

Sakuya’s expression fell.

“Right,” he said, defeated.

He glanced down at the script before going to place it back on the shelf. Of course, a king could never do these sorts of silly things.

Lu’s gaze followed his hand, silently wishing he wouldn’t put that passion away the same way he put away those “childish” desires. She hesitated for a moment.

“Masumi said you wanted me,” she finally murmured.

“Hm?”

“Masumi. He said you wanted me to come for you.”

“I never said that!” Sakuya exclaimed, his eyes widening a bit in shock.

“But do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Do you, erm, well, is there a reason you ask for me so often when Masumi’s not available?” She asked quietly, fiddling with her hands as she stared down at them.

“Well, you’re dependable and kind! Plus I think you’re pretty sweet, too, unlike some people here,” he stated as if it were fact, taking a seat on a couch near the fireplace as Lu approached him.

“Thank you,” she replied, making sure to bow slightly.

They fell quiet, leaving a silence behind them that hung thick in the air for far too long.

“The king and queen died fourteen years ago, right?” Sakuya’s entire demeanor changed, looking almost meek for a moment.

“What’s this coming from?”

“I need to stop.”

“Stop what?” Lu asked, feigning ignorance.

“This! Running away, pretending to be someone else! I need to own up to it, rule the kingdom with a smile, you know?”

“But you can still act, right?”

“No, I don’t think so,” he hesitated, letting the words sink in, “how did you know I was talking about acting?”

Lu gulped, somehow avoiding eye contact even more than she already was.

“Well, um, I sorta watch you perform sometimes? I can hear it when I’m cleaning. It’s really good.”

“You think I’m good? Even without any true experience?”

“Yeah! I always get so engrossed in your world that I forget to work sometimes!”

“So you’ve seen me perform…that monologue?”

“The one you do over and over again?”

“From Romeo and Juliet. The balcony scene.”

“Of course I have. Why do you ask?”

“I wish for that.”

“To forsake thy house and thy name?”

“And run free. You know how they treat me,” he groaned, finally forcing eye contact.

“I do.”

“I wish it was us.”

“Us?”

“Us.”

Lu stood for a moment, staring blankly into space as the words processed.

“Us…”

“Lucille, I love you.”

Lu was stunned, backing away from him for a moment.

“Like any other servant?”

“No, not like that.”

“Like a sibling?”

“No.”

“A friend?”

“Lucille,” Sakuya said stubbornly.

“Call me Lu.”

“Lu. You love me too, right?”

“…yes.”

Sakuya stood from the couch, kneeling to take both of Lu’s hands in his.

“Then, let’s run away together. Just the two of us.”

“What?”

“Look, I know it sounds crazy, but I know you’re crazy too, so, come. We can be traveling performers. Just you and I, we can live out our dreams.”

“Are you kidding? I can’t risk that, and neither can you! Coronation, remember?”

“And? You know I’ve got tons of relatives, they can fight for it!”

“Your majesty-!“ Lu exclaimed.

“Call me Sakuya.”

“Well, Sakuya-“

“Please.”

He gripped her hands tighter, staring into her eyes earnestly while his own seemed to glow with anticipation and fear. And yet Lu didn’t feel pressured. A genuine plea for escape, for freedom from the hurt, and not just by playing house or pretending to be a different character in the wee hours of the morning, sobbing as the words came out all jumbled. A plea from a heart of gold and a shining soul.

Lu couldn’t refuse, she didn’t want to see her lord and love in pain any longer.

“Yes, your majesty.”

“Sakuya.”

“Yes, Sakuya. I’ll come with you.”

His eyes lit up, a gentle smile gracing his features.

“Thank you,” he said, ever so lightly kissing her knuckles, “we’ll leave at midnight. Be sure you’re ready.”

“I will, I promise.”

“Good. You should probably go, huh? Don’t want to worry anybody. I’ll tell Masumi everything. I know he’ll support us, and maybe even join in!”

“Alright,” Lu agreed, letting go of the prince’s hands, no matter how much she didn’t want to. “I’ll see you later, then.”

“Goodbye. Until we meet again,” he replied, bowing as his smile became ever wider.

#this is also a royalty au but still #and I kinda changed Masumi and Lu’s dynamic to fit the story same with AA themselves but it works for the story #so it’s fine<3 #fanfiction #Safeshiptember #Safeshiptember 2023 #acting angels #yume time

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woman-moment-fr · 1 year

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Living is getting harder but also that’s like, totally cool

Being an adult sucks. I’ll be 20 this year. That’s nothing in the grand scale of things. Everyone seems eager to let me know that.

You realise how terribly difficult it is to be grown when you’re sitting with your room mates, high out of your mind, wondering what the point of it all is. Not necessarily in a depressing way, but more like looking at the present moment as if it were a memory. What’s the point? Do I really need to be in uni? Can’t I just marry some guy and call it a day? I say this all as if I have some great scope of the difficulties life throws at you, and obviously, I don’t. But I’m just so sick of being lonely and miserable and barely a person. I keep saying this.

There are efforts I can make to fix this, to fix myself , but it’s hard to start something you have no ambition for, or even instructions. Autism really kicks in with self improvement. Why can’t my special interest be gym, or eating healthy? Literally anything but whatever it is that I do.

On another note; men. What’s up with that? Why are they the way they are? I mean don’t get me wrong, ya girl loves them but also they are so unbelievably fucking stupid. Not a single guy I know has decent communication skills. And everything always ends terribly for everyone involved. Like, why is my heart being ripped out by some dumbass narcissistic gym bro who throws temper tantrums every second of every day?

I love to write these little things even though no one will ever read them because it’s a confession with no answer. I could put my whole life on here and it just wouldn’t matter. And if by chance someone does read this, you can giggle at my silly complaining and move on with your day. And I like that.

- Ana

#writing #girlblog #theres something wrong with me

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lgckoda · 2 years

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( star quality )

PRACTISE ROOM, DEBUT BOOTCAMP // OCT. ‘22 Koda and CHOI KAI try to improve their singing skills …

Koda isn’t a terrible singer by any means, he’s just not great. He can hold a tune, can find the right note, even put some emotion and style into the way he sings, but when it really comes down to it, Koda’s pretty average, especially when compared to the other trainees. He makes up for it in his charisma and presence, his ability to make himself look good, even if he’s not necessarily showing great technical skill. The good thing is, however, that Koda knows where he’s lacking, and he knows what he needs to do to improve it, but it’s never much fun practising on your own, especially when one of your closest friends is going through the same difficulties. So, when Koda finds himself in the debut bootcamp, struggling to match up to everyone else with his singing, he latches onto Kai, who also seems to be having a bit of a difficult time, and begs him to practise with him. This way they can point out where they’re going wrong—it’s always good to have a separate set of eyes and ears to pick up what you miss.

The vocal lessons are half useful, and half utterly morale-crushing. Hearing other trainees belt out high notes, keep their voices stable, and strong, showing off their supreme breath control makes Koda feel less than satisfactory. “What if I’m just not cut out for this? I only became a trainee because I thought I could be a model. I should’ve just stuck to that! What the hell am I doing here? It’s not like I’m going to debut!” He complains, sitting opposite Kai as everyone takes some practise time to help each other out in small groups. “You heard me over there caterwauling like a dying animal. I’m doomed, Kai.” His shoulders slump, and a heavy sigh escapes him. They need to actually practise, or the vocal trainer is going to be around to tell them off any minute, but Koda still takes a second to make his displeasure at the situation abundantly clear.

“Your voice is so distinctive, they’re bound to focus a lot on you. You’d be such a valuable person in a group.” Koda’s always thought Kai had ‘star-quality’—there’s something about him that just shines. “I can’t rap to save my life, so you’re already way ahead of me. You can at least do something, but I can’t really do anything.” But, they’re here to sing, and sing they must, starting with the usual vocal warmups. “Guess we’d better get on with it, or we’re both gonna have our asses kicked by the drill master over there.” He glances over to the vocal trainer on the other side of the room, answering someone’s questions.

#( koko ; th )#( th ; star quality )#lgckai #lgc:debutbootcamp001 #( oct. 22 )

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deathmcth-archived · 2 years

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☢ 𝘒𝘕𝘖𝘞𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘙 𝘗𝘈𝘙𝘛𝘕𝘌𝘙 𝘞𝘌𝘓𝘓 𝘊𝘈𝘕 𝘗𝘖𝘛𝘌𝘕𝘛𝘐𝘈𝘓𝘓𝘠 𝘔𝘈𝘒𝘌 𝘞𝘙𝘐𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘛𝘖𝘎𝘌𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘙 𝘈 𝘓𝘖𝘛 𝘌𝘈𝘚𝘐𝘌𝘙.

REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !!

& DASHBOARD FUN ; mun addition ✧˖*°࿐

● name ; cloves is fine!

● pronouns ; he/him and they/them!! either of those or switching between the two is 👍🏼

● preference of communication ; DMs are ok! i only give out discord to ppl i’ve been rping with for a good while tho 😔 i’m not SUPER talkative but i try to reply to everything as best as i can!

● names of muse(s) ; ayalon!! i also.. have a canon character mutli-muse blog that i haven’t really done anything with.. maybe i’ll finally do something with it

● experience / how long ( months / years? ) ; i’ve been rping since i was 13, but for tumblr rp specifically i started in 2015!! and then took a much needed break from 2017-2019. i’ve always loved rping but the rp community back then was uhhhhh not as supportive of trans ppl or characters. it seems to have gotten better tho

● best experience ; i think anything i’ve done with my friend @carnivorarium // @phantasmaw!! i can’t really pinpoint a specific experience, but plotting and rping with them has been really fun and has really helped me get back into rping as a whole. IDK i was just so nervous when i first came back but she was super cool and nice and our characters hit it off super well!!

this isn’t a tumblr rp experience but back in 2015 me and a friend created this huge fantasy world with all kinds of characters and we had the whole rp plotted out till the very end. i cant remember much of what we established but i remember it being really in-depth and thought out LSJHGKF i was always so excited whenever we both found the time to sit down and toss replies back and forth to each other. but then a few months later the website we rped on didn’t exist anymore and we ended up losing contact. i really wish i could go back and read everything we sent each other but im pretty sure i cant

● RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS ;

i actually have a lot and that’s why im so selective LDJFHK like the tumblr rpc has gotten better, yeah, but there is still so much room for improvement.

1. being needlessly mean/high school bully level pettiness. Like bro there’s certain ppl on this website that do nothing but frequently make these long ass posts complaining abt how their oc(s) are better than everyone else’s, bc everyone else’s aren’t as “thought out, original, interesting, ect enough” and like? i just dont get it. i genuinely do not understand why ppl are so willing to kiss these specific kinds of ppl’s asses. the MOMENT i see any kind of “my oc is better than other ocs and here is a list as to why:” i refuse to interact. be proud of ur characters, but dont act like ur better than everyone else? i’ve also seen someone make a #girlboss post abt how “yeah there’s certain ppl on this website that want to avoid me so i go out of my way to befriend all of THEIR friends so they can never get rid of me :)” yeah ur weird. u are full on weird. u have not matured past 14.

2. any complaining abt mlm and wlw. this includes ‘gay ships are so popular online that m/f just doesnt exist anymore.’/’everyone just wants to have gay ships so i’m going to get back at them by only shipping m/f.’ i dont think i should even have to explain why complaining abt gay ppl finally being able to indulge in fictional gay relationships is a fucked up thing to do and yet ppl still do it. stop having this ‘i have to get back at gay ppl’ mindset.. it’s gross

3. when i say no to a romantic and/or sexual relationship and all interest from the other person is lost. im not hurt when this happens, but it gets so annoying. if i say no to a ship and all interactions are suddenly cut off, it is so obvious to what ur intentions were and i really don’t appreciate it. my characters aren’t shipping fodder for yours. i know it can suck when someone says no to a possible ship, but it’s also so shitty to take that ‘no’ and then deliberately ignore the person just bc they refused u. it’s obvious, and i do notice it.

4. this is a personal preference ig but i dont like the ongoing trend of ‘my trans character was SA’d for being trans’ that is suddenly so.. popular within the tumblr rpc. it really grosses me out and i cant stand seeing it and i dont want mentions of that on my dash at all. it’s a no-no for me.

● MUSE PREFERENCES ; fluff, angst or smut ; all three! tho i’m kinda selective with angst and even more-so with smut. i like to get a feel for someone and their character first before i rp angst, bc there’s been a lot of times i’ll be rping with someone and they would pile angst after angst on top of their character over and over again to the point it just got.. kinda ridiculous. like i love angst but sometimes ppl just get too caught up with making their characters go through the most fucked up shit as much as possible as a plot device. listen i love dragging my characters through the mud too but after awhile it gets repetitive and boring ;;v;;

i love writing smut but given that ayalon rarely feels sexual attraction to other ppl and when he DOES he’s too busy just bullying them so. smut writing here might not be that big of a thing LKJDHFK fluff is a free for all tho!! he wants to knead on everyone like a cat and pull on them like laffy taffy. that’s ayalon being soft.

● ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) ; i think everyone’s got a little piece of themselves in their muses!! it’s hard not to. but damn i WISH i was a giant goth dude with great hair. i guess the biggest thing we have in common is that we’re both pretty stubborn when we have our minds set on something

tagged by: no one in particular LJDKFG i just saw a lot of ppl do it

tagging: do what i did and steal from me. it’s ok to tag me too <3

#( .MEMES. ) 𝔑𝔬 𝔡𝔦𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔟𝔲𝔱 𝔞 𝔣𝔞𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔦𝔫 𝔥𝔦𝔰 𝔡𝔢𝔠𝔦𝔰𝔦𝔬𝔫 .⊱#yes i AM a bit of a hardass .. go men acai 😔#'we're both stubborn when we have our mind set on something' can u guess my rising sign LKJHDK #time to eat something and then.. back to drafts 💪🏼

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terraliensvent · 3 months

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I’m sorry put the op was right about them being human beings with thoughts and feelings. Did it come off to strong? Yes. But the fact you have to put the glaring issue of they can’t take criticism as your stance isn’t even a viable way of proving your point as there have been clear efforts to change things in the community as of recently. Now that Temul is in charge of the group!

Not saying the fair of amount of criticism isn’t justified. In fact there is always room for improvement and it should be heavily encouraged.

But shouldn’t mods be people you trust? Not total strangers? but active community members who become good acquaintances with staff? No seriously. I’ve been spectating the server since July of last year and half of those people didn’t even know each-other til they met on the server. Some of them aren’t even friends til being asked to join. And so what if they’re friends? That means they’re a trustworthy candidate that can be vouched for.

It’s actually insane how people will just assume the worst out of a situation without any definitive answers but purely based on their pre-decided judgement of others. Which is a huge issue right now especially with cancel culture.

I can’t even begin to explain how entitled half the people in closed species communities are because half of the problems stem from the people themselves. Now this is a vent blog and it’s meant for voices to be heard. That much is obvious. All you need to know is change doesn’t happen within a week. It takes months so don’t assume the worst in situations or you’re gonna stay bitter in these communities when you eventually quit.

Stay safe and touch grass 👍

post related

i feel like youre neglecting to acknowledge the full range of points i made in my last response.

yes, theres change happening within the past 2 months, but theres also things to have gripes about. im glad things are seeming to move toward getting better, but at the same time that shouldnt deflect from the fact there are still things to be worked on

i understand theres the big rework happening right now with stuff, but for transparency’s sake im not going to give points for things that arent completed. you can say youre working on things, but until i can physically see them and be able to make a judgement on the effectiveness of implemented changes, im not going to comment on them because i dont want to have to retroactively edit my perspective.

also, “mods are making changes” and “mods cant take criticism” arent mutually exclusive. the changes being made currently are a result of the work getting too hard for them with design approvals because they were SO nitpicky and people actually started to complain on a large scale. but as seen in the suggestion forums, not a lot of suggestions seem to be really introspected on. ive seen so many solid ideas that work for other large species just be totally tossed out because “its too much work for mods” but yet when more mods are hired, they dont seem to be doing really any work.

which brings me to my next point, i said in the last post i would have been more forgiving about all the mods being in the same clique if it werent for the fact that the new mods never seem to be doing anything besides promoting commissions. quality of life improvements are constantly denied because the workload is “just so difficult” but then you never actually see evidence of extra hands being used to make big change. again, if you keep adding people do the mod team it should not be taking weeks to get a MYO design approved.

im gonna barely entertain the last bit of your ask simply because it comes off as intensely patronizing to me. are we really talking about cancel culture when the issue at hand is “terra staff are bad at taking criticism?” it comes off as very much “holier than thou” mentality when you call others entitled for daring to say they dont like the way things are run. change takes months, yeah, but thats when you actually DECIDE to change and not shrug it off because “work hard :(“ dont put yourself on a pedestal just because youre more dismissive of things than others

#closed species vent #terralien #closed species #terraliens #vent

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uncloseted · 1 year

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Hey 👋 is this the sign of a toxic friendship? So my friend always makes digs at me. Whether that be over getting good grades, not congratulating me when I’ve congratulated them or leaving me whenever they see the person they like. Not that long ago they said something about me being rich (I’m not btw) and I asked how would you know that? (I barely tell anyone anything about me) and they said richer than us [our friend group], when they barely know anything about my lifestyle like what on earth ?? Then if I’m not talking much or have said something but not anything else, they’ll ask me if I’m angry with them?? They also leave me for this boy they like to talk to him and it’s starting to annoy me. They did this to me before but came to me when they needed something. I am a good friend but I’m getting really tired of this and I can’t do anything about it because I don’t have many other friends. I also can’t complain to anyone else incase they tell them. I feel quite alone. Everyone asks if they’re okay but no one ever thinks to ask me because I always seem “together” . What do you think?

I think I've said this before on here, but I don't really like labeling people "toxic". I think it's a term that's become overused to the point where it doesn't really mean anything, and it implies that the person's toxicity is an inherent trait to them as opposed to viewing them as someone who does things that are hurtful.

In any case, from what you've said, I don't think your friend is making digs at you. I think it sounds like they're someone who doesn't have a great filter, struggles to "read the room", and is maybe a bit self-centered, but it doesn't sound like they're being intentionally hurtful towards you. I think the best thing you can do is to talk to your friend about how their actions make you feel. Try to do this calmly, non-accusatorily and using "when you....I feel" statements (for example, "when you a conversation we're having to talk to a boy, I feel like he's more important to you than I am, and that makes me feel like you don't value our friendship"). Until you bring it up with this friend, you won't know what they're thinking or why, and you won't be able to improve the situation with them.

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anthonysstupiddailyblog · 2 years

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Anthony’s Stupid Daily Blog (215): Sun 16th Oct 2022

A while back there were reports that a movie Bill Murray was acting in has been postponed because Murray sexually harassed a woman on the set. They didn’t go into specifics at the time but now the details have emerged and it appears Murray straddled a woman and tried to kiss her and the woman complained which led to production being halted. It’s also been revealed that the woman on question accepted a payment of £100,000 in order to stop the matter going any further. I remember watching Murray on The Graham Norton Show where he had Paloma Faith sit on his lap then grabbed her arse and flipped her over so he could have a good look at it. I’ve always had mixed feelings about Bill Murray. I’ve enjoyed his movies and found him to be incredibly funny but I’ve also heard the rumours about him being and arsehole for years. It always seems like more of a disappointment when extremely talented people turn out to be dickheads because talent, especially the ability to make people laugh is something most people would like to have and those people must be so pissed off that someone who acts like such a dick has this gift. Murray has released a statement saying “I’ve come to the realisation that what was funny thirty years ago isn’t acceptable today”. Which to me doesn’t really read like an apology because he’s saying that thirty years ago straddling a woman and kissing her was funny and apparently hasn’t taken into account that it was never funny but it’s only now that women aren’t so afraid to speak out for fear of losing their jobs. It’s also telling that he says he’s “come to a realisation” that forcing oneself on a woman isn’t okay like it was thirty years ago. So he’s not necessarily sorry that he did that but he’s reluctantly admitting that he’s just going to have to move with the times. My guess is that he’s just famous enough for his career to survive this. He’s apparently quite selective when it comes to taking roles anyway so it’s not like he’s constantly begging for work plus he’s like a billionaire so he doesn’t even have to work anymore. It’ll be interesting to see how Marvel reacts to this news since they just cast him in a major role in one of their new Avengers movies. They can’t exactly recast and reshoot like that Kevin Spacey film did. What they could do though is just put a load of static imagery over Murray’s character and just say it’s a new villain made of static and have Dan Castalleneta or some other famous voice actor dub his lines. What I don’t understand is why Murray didn’t just use the “I was improving excuse”. He’s a trained improv comedian so he could have just used this to get out of it. If he kissed the girl and she likes it then job done but if he kissed the girl and she didn’t like it he could have gone “I was in character. It was improv”. Saw this because I’ve seen multiple improv shows where the male comedians take full advantage of the fact that they’re in “a scene” to make it a scene where their character decides to fondle one of the female performers. Either that or he could have claimed that he was asleep and occasionally “sleep straddles”.

Watched a trailer for a new film called “Lynch / Oz” which will apparently look into David Lynch’s fascination with the film version of The Wizard of Oz. I’ve heard that Lynch is “obsessed” with the movie before but to be honest the only references I can find to it is in his movie Wild At Heart and the main characters in Mulholland Drive and Lost Highway basing the characters in their dreams on people they know in real life like Dorothy does in the film. Maybe this film will be like what the Room 237 documentary is to The Shining, a bunch of fans speculating over supposed meaning that may or not be there.

This evening I got a notification about the new OSW Review but alas it was just a recap of the pre-show. I love this show but the time in between videos absolutely drags and I have serious withdrawal in the way that I imagine sports fans have in between seasons. To mark the ten year anniversary of this blog I’m going to start doing a podcast where I review AEW Dynamite, pay per views and wrestling news. Hopefully that will start to hold me over in between OSW videos.

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age-of-portal-masters · 2 years

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7 - Shaky Foundations

“I don’t know what I should be doing,” Caitlyn complained, her head firmly planted in an opened book. “Maybe they’re all right, I bit off way more than I can chew.”

Caterina took a bite of her lemon cookie. “Sweetie, it’s been only 4 sessions. You aren’t going to undo an entire life’s worth of crime in 8 hours.” This scene became a common occurrence. Caterina and Caitlyn started eating an afternoon snack together every few days. The older elf noticed that Caitlyn wasn’t adjusting as well as she wanted, so having herself available for a little vent every once in a while was helpful to the budding master’s confidence.

“Well, yes that’s true, I get that,” Caitlyn frowned. “But, I can’t help but feel that something else is going on, you know? Something that I can’t help with. Bacchus might be beyond my capabilities.”

“Perhaps then, you should consider this,” Caterina sipped her tea. “It’s not exactly your job to ‘fix’ everything. It’s more so your job to steer. You can teach him all you want, but if he doesn’t care enough to overcome the difficulty, then what are you going to do?” She sighed. “I’ve dealt with those sorts of people before. You can care all you want, but if they put forth no effort, the case is lost.”

“I guess you’re right.” Caitlyn despairingly ate a chocolate chip cookie. Bacchus wasn’t improving. He didn’t care enough to redeem himself. But, she wasn’t really happy with that reality.

Eon’s private alchemy room was the dimmest place in the Academy. Sure, it had windows, but most of the time, the room was sealed shut; the only people allowed in that room were his portal master students. Well, it would have been ‘students’ if the universe were kinder. Master Eon was blessed with only the pleasure of one apprentice, Caitlyn.

Although she had graduated not even 2 months ago, Master Eon still had a multitude to teach. He gathered up ten little crystals, each charged with a different element. Eon meant to give Caitlyn this project sooner, but with the events in the Skeleton Bowl, he thought it best to wait until today.

“Master Eon!” Caitlyn announced herself, the door squeaking behind her. “What is it you wanted to talk about?”

“Master Caitlyn, it is good to see you,” Master Eon presented her with an ornate wooden box; its little carved runes shimmered in the candlelight. “I have a task for you. An exercise in meditation if you will.”

“Meditation?”

“Ah, it is a long story. In short, however, I wish to test your mind-magic capabilities. Each of these crystals are the purest Imaginate available to us. You can construct any manner of entity you wish if your magic is sufficient. This necklace will help you keep track of all the little pieces.”

“Are you serious!?” Caitlyn beamed. “Thank you so much Master Eon! I’ve always wanted to try it out!”

“Ah, don’t be too hasty! The construction of an Imaginator requires a significant amount of focus. I would recommend you to keep a distraction free environment to begin with.”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it!”

Caitlyn rushed back to her room. It was already sunset, which meant it was go-time. She hurriedly unboxed the Imaginite necklace and sat cross legged on her bed. Carefully, she laid the necklace in front of her, and closed her eyes.

The tiredness from her body evaporated, and when she opened her eyes, she was in an endless green plain. Overhead, the blue sky was dotted by clouds; the perfect golden sun warmed her. Caitlyn breathed a sigh of relief. My magic is more than capable.

And so, she got to work.

Mind-magic to Caitlyn came like breathing. Once she pictured a shape, it became real in her dreamspace. Before she knew it, she had filled 5 of the 10 element shards. She was by no means done with these drafts; little bits still needed improvements. But, it was time for rest! After all, she had so much more time to complete them.

Caitlyn decided to leave her dreamscape, and looked at the clock on her bedside. Jeez, is it really already midnight?! She sighed, and left her room to walk until she felt tired enough to sleep.

She ended up in the courtyard outside, taking in the night. From behind her, the two Life trap masters greeted her.

“Whatcha doin’ up this late?” Tuff Luck asked, in high spirits.

“I can ask you two the same question,” Caitlyn laughed.

“It’s a secret~” Bushwhack said. “Actually it’s not. Snap Shot and Wildfire came back from their investigation an hour or so ago.”

“Oh that’s right,” Caitlyn was so distracted by her new toys that she forgot entirely about that mission. “Was much learned?”

“Ohoho, yes. Enough was learned that we held another one of those stupid ass meetings,” Bushwhack hated sitting in those conference rooms. “And I thought we wouldn’t have any more big events this year because of the Skeleton Bowl disaster, alas.”

“You can’t just end your sentence with ‘alas’, dude,” Tuff Luck smugly commented. “That makes you sound pompous.”

“Luckily, cat, I don’t know what pompous means!”

Caitlyn stopped the conversation in its tracks. “What meeting? Usually I need to go to those?”

Tuff Luck didn’t know what to say without hurting feelings, so Bushwhack steamrolled before she could even think. “The one this afternoon, dude. I dunno, maybe Snap Shot forgot to inform you, he forgets that he’s not the de facto leader any more, haha.”

“Ah, I see,” Caitlyn said, sounding discouraged. “Well, I should head to bed. Good night, you two.” She returned to her room.

“Dude what the hell? Could it have killed you to use a bit more tact?” Tuff Luck whisper-yelled.

“What the hell, me? What the hell, you! You would’ve been perfectly content to deceive her further.” Bushwhack whisper-yelled back.

“Nuh-uh!”

“Yuh-huh!”

“Ancients, we’ll get nowhere like this.” Tuff Luck pinched her forehead. “How’s this? I’ll invite her to our chores tomorrow and we will catch her up then. Honestly, it’s probably important that she knows about who’s on her tail now.”

“Agreed.”

#skylanders #oc #fanfic

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dreamcatcherrs · 3 years

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dating a faceless streamer/youtuber; mcyt x reader

+ this was a request, but it got deleted in my drafts ;-; sorry!

dream:

since he is also a faceless youtuber

he’s very understanding of keeping your privacy

and whatever reason you have to not reveal your face, he respects it

he knows what it’s like to have people tell him to face reveal

sometimes his voice will just appear in the back of your streams/videos

like in sapnap’s with the question about one direction

and chat is like, how long has he been here?????

the two of you would hint at a face reveal

and then after weeks brush it off like it was nothing

because you like to torture the fans, I guess🙄

because dream never has a face cam on

he has the perfect seat for you on his lap whenever he streams/films

and the same thing goes for when you film/stream; he’ll be sitting right next to you with his hand in yours or on your thigh

you’re known as the faceless couple

georgenotfound:

it really doesn't bother him at all that you’re a faceless streamer/youtuber

I don't see him as the type to post a whole lot of pictures with his s/o anyways

or something along those lines

so it wouldn't make a big difference to him

would just think it was funny to tease chat about knowing what you look like, when they don't

and then having them just hear you voice in the background of his videos sometimes

but not actually seeing you

he kinda likes that your relationship is more concealed

and that it’s harder for people to come at you when they don't know what you look like exactly, just because he’s dating you

because that would honestly be his biggest worry when revealing your relationship

so he’s happy that’s one less worry :)

sapnap:

does everything to not get people to beg for a face reveal

he doesn't want people to put that kind of pressure on you

especially if they go after you for it just because you're dating him

like, he will make a video about it if he has to

or tweet about it

the last thing he wants is for the fake fans to try and reveal your face or other things about you

when clearly that’s what you wanna keep private

that being said, he’d do so many streams with you

wether it’s gong against each other, or being on the same team

you always have so much fun together

even if you're literally in the same room together

if his face cam is on, he’d look over at you every now and then and send you a smile or some shit like that

there’s some pretty cute moments - expect a compilation

badboyhalo:

bad would be really proud to have an s/o who did youtube/streamed

and he would for sure help you out if you ever needed him to!

like with coding

or just general growth in your channel

wouldn't really care if you showed your face or not - whatever you're happy with makes him happy

he would just make sure that you never felt pressured to show your face

he knows people out there can be meanies

and come for you just because you don't show your face

and he’d always be there to talk to about it if it ever stressed you out

he would also make sure that you didn't hide your face because you didn’t like it or something like that

and if that was the case, you bet he’d be reassuring you

calling your all kinds of sweet things and show you lots of love

he takes lots of pictures of his two favourite girls

you and rat, of course (without showing your face, obviously)

technoblade:

he actually really likes that you're a faceless streamer/youtuber

like, he doesn't notice how much he likes it

before he realises all of the times you'd sneaked some hand-holding while streaming, or shared little kisses when on mute wouldn't have been possible if you both didn't show your faces

you’d share these secret glances when streaming/filming together

and no one would even know about it

sometimes his chat hears a little talking in the background from you

but techno just brushes it off like you weren't sitting right next to him the entire time

and vice versa

he also just stays with you when you're working

sharing small touches and words

chat also notice eventually how much you gush over each other without noticing

it happens A LOT more than you realise

especially from his side🤭

wilbur soot:

okay so

I think wilbur would have a hard time not showing you off to stream every second of the day

he would just always talk about you and want you there with him in his streams

and miss your touch after 5 minutes of being apart

but would be totally respectful of you wanting to remain faceless

he would just talk to you from an angle where chat couldnt see you

but yeah, he loves that you do the same type of job as him

and most of all, you motivate each other on days where you can't be bothered to even get out of bed

you’re definitely that couple that everyone makes cute compilations of

and that everyone strives to be

chat loves you, what more can I say

corpse husband:

ANOTHER FACELESS COUPLE

the power you two hold over everyone is actually immaculate

you stream/film together all the time

just having fun and being yourselves

he would definitely ask if you could join the games he plays with others when streaming

and if that wasn't possible, he’d just get you to come into his room and be part of it that way

he teases you a lot on stream

both cutely and mischievously

and your viewers are like👀

while his chat is just going crazy

you share lots of giggles

like, seriously, the majority of the videos/streams consists of you two laughing your asses off

you two will forever be known as the faceless couple

even if you both face reveal, that’ll always be your title

skeppy:

zak will find a way to show you off no matter what

he just can't resist

the way his heart is always beating out of his chest because of you is just too much for him to not ever show you to the world

but of course with your consent only

he wouldn't ever pressure you or anything

but since you're only remaining faceless

you can expect LOTS of matching outfit pictures taken in the mirror

and just lots of pictures of you in general

with your face blocked out or not in view, of course

you'd always be helping each other with your setups or videos

and he’d want to introduce you to literally everyone he knows

especially bad

you don't necessarily stream/film a lot with each other

but you're always in each others’ company in some shape or form

he always mentions you in his streams

just small stories or conversations

chat can tell he’s head over heels for you

karl jacobs:

he's the most support person everrr

he’d always be celebrating even the tiniest achievements with you

you hit 2k subs? he’ll treat you to an expensive ass dinner

you hit 1 million subs? he’ll buy you a whole room full of filming gear to improve from your previous ones

you managed to finish that one video you've been struggling with? he takes you on a weekend trip to somewhere you’ve always wanted to go

he’ll beg you to join him in is streams

just so he can hold your hand :)

or laugh with you every once in a while

he doesn't need you to face reveal at all

your company is all that matters to him when it includes the rest of the world

I mean, he’s the one able to see your beautiful face all the time, so he can't really complain even if he felt like it

always tweets about you or tweets things at you that only you two understand

and everyone is like ?????

but you don't care :)

fundy:

fundy actually doesn't talk a lot about you in his streams or videos

mostly to avoid people leaving bad light on you in the chat

unless he’s in the same game as you, of course

which in that case, the first thing he’d want to do is find you and talk to you in the game

he’s very respectful of you keeping your face private

and tries his best to keep the pressure of a face reveal off your shoulders

especially if it’s happening in his or your comments

if it gets really bad, he’ll eventually talk about it on twitter or something like that

does tiktoks with you

only with your voice though

and posts manyyy pictures where you’re tagged, but only slightly in view

he doesn't really care about your face being a secret

as long as he gets to see it, he’s happy

quackity:

alex has so much fun making videos or going live with you

and obviously you have the best collabs

you’re the funniest couple on the platform and it shows

he would talk so much about you - like, telling embarrassing stories about you or some shit like that

or saying how clingy you are with him

and chat would be like AWW HE TALKS ABOUT THEM

and he's like “no”😤

but alex can't fool anyone

he’s in it for real with you🥴

and at times, he doesn't even try to hide it

especially when he speaks up about ho proud he is of you

and how people should respect your choice of remaining faceless to the world

but then he quickly moves on to his silly self again

with blushy cheeks ^w^

punz:

has you on his lap constantly

even when his hand-cam is on

nothing will stop him from making you sit on his lap while he’s streaming

he loves that he can rant to you about the problems he faces sometimes concerning his streams

because you get it

he’d teach you the games you didn't know of

and you'd teach him the games that he didn't know of

and then you'd stream/film together after learning the basics

he doesn't talk about you a lot on stream

but chat eventually figures out it’s because you're literally in the same room as him

and how do they find that out, you may ask?

well, your snores coming from his headphones made it very obvious to say the least

awesamdude:

sam knows what it’s like being a faceless streamer

so if you wanted, he’d give you all of the advice you needed

and if you ever considered face revealing, he'd totally help you!

you guys have matching setups

you sometimes talk to each other across the room as you're playing the same game together

because it’s funny to tease chat that way

you’d be posting pictures on social media

that give off hints that you're with each other a lot

like, in one photo he’s wearing a hoodie

and the next day, you post a photo of you in that exact same hoodie

stuff like that

he also celebrates big and small achievements with you

wether it be you achieving them or him, you always celebrate together

eret:

matching. outfits.

STRAWBERRY DRESSES

PLATFORM HEELS

ahhhh chat would be going absolutely crazy at the fits you guys have sometimes

and you're always matching

as in always

he tells their stream that you have a matching crown like his

but that chat obviously can't see it on you because you don’t have a face-cam

she likes telling stories about you

like, memories they have of you two together

and he just always compliments you and praises you for your hard work on her streams

telling everyone how happy you make them

she also always invites you to join his streams because it means a lot to them that you're there :)

jack manifold:

jack is so excited about the fact that you're also a streamer/youtuber

it makes it easier to open up about your relationship online

because some people already knew you before you revealed you two were dating

though I feel like jack would kinda like the secrecy of your face online

just to brag to his audience about how he gets to see your face every day

but also because he likes that there’s more privacy for you

sometimes he’d pop into your room without knowing you were streaming/filming

and would just start talking to you while you giggled about how you were “kinda in the middle of something”

when jack realised what you meant, he’d hurry out of the room in an instant

you’d always be in each others chats/comments

showing what a supportive couple you were

he always raids you at the end of his streams if you’re streaming at the same time

tommyinnit:

tommy always forgets that you're a faceless streamer/youtuber

and is sometimes sooo close to blurting out something he shouldn't

because he’s so used to seeing you, he just kinda forgets that no one else can

you always have to send him a text to “sToP TalKIng AbOUt yOu” so he doesn't accidentally reveal something

that being said, he literally talks so much about you

again, I’m bringing up that time he said that tubbo is so clingy

he says the same thing about you

but he’s really the clingy one, and it’s pretty obvious

you catch him saying things like “yeah, y/n is really cool”

or “guys, please don't say stuff like that to y/n”

getting all serious and shit🥺

he asks you constantly if you can join his vc

even when you're busy, he’s like “pay. attention. to. me😤”

it’s really entertaining sometimes

especially when his streams just consist of you two bickering the whole time

calls you his favourite woman

tubbo:

ahhh tubbo is so sweet when it comes to you

like, when anyone mentions you he just starts smiling

and wants to tell everyone about you

even if they already know you from your channel

he just can't help but ramble on about you

especially to tommy

he replies to all of your tweets

and you reply to all of his

you always feature each other on your channels/streams

and share a celebratory cake when reaching subgoals

sometimes chat notices similarities in your layouts

like a colour change

or a similar pattern

posts a photo of your pinkies intertwined

wearing matching bracelets you made yourself

and everyone finds it super cute<3

ranboo:

he would encourage you so much to join his videos

and wear the same type of outfit to cover your face with

but with a sense of yourself in it so you'd look similar, but not exactly like each other

you'd be matching outfits so often

doesn't talk a lot about you on his streams

apart from mentioning how short you are

but on TWITTER

that's a whole other story

his twitter has practically just become a fan account of you

he’s always in your comments

just to leave a :)

or a supportive comment

if you ever wanted to do a face reveal

he would do it with you if it meant making you feel more comfortable about it

or less nervous

you’re just very lowkey and cute

___________________________________

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