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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 5 months

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Hey CJ, you mentioned that you disagree with a lot of your old TWDG opinions, any that stand out you wanna share? Also i agree with what you said about wanting to play the series for the first time again with no prior knowledge - i would love to meet louis character for the first time again.

Yeah, some opinions have changed with time and moving on from being a hardcore, active fan in the fandom. I'm pretty sure I've talked about some of them more recently, like how I used to not like Jane but now I've become something of a "Jane apologist," if you will.

I was also super vocal about hating the Clementine comics when the 12-page comic dropped, and I'm pretty sure I was shitty about Tillie Walden... which I look back on now and feel embarrassed. In fact, I specifically remember calling attention to the fact that Skybound turned off comments on the first book trailer and on their instagram, twitter, etc. and being like, "look at these COWARDS! they know we hate the comic and that Tillie's a bad artist, they're trying to shut us up!" ........but then I heard they turned them off because Tillie was getting threats, and it caused me to dig around and see the vile shit fans were saying.... It gave me pause to think things through and I feel very differently about it all now.

I've also changed my mind on Minerva. Like Jane, there was a loooong period of time where I didn't like her, but now? I think she's great. A real tragedy.

In fact, real talk, I think my perspective on most of the female characters in TWDG has shifted dramatically. I've done a lot of thinking on this just in general; I'm much harder on female characters than male characters. I can pretend like noooooo I was always soooo fair... but no, not always. I'm sure it's from some deep-rooted, internalized misogyny I have that I'm working on, but I also think the games sometimes neglect those characters, too. Which makes it easier to brush them off as just "poorly-written" and "bad characters" if I don't like them when that's not always the case.

Or let's be real, we all know how this goes; the games give us a flawed male character and fans are like "he's my blorbo, here's a 50k essay about why he deserved better and a list of my headcanons and the twenty AUs I've written for them-" but then a female character's just as flawed and fans are like "lol she's poorly written, here's an essay on why-"

Don't look at me like that. I know I'm guilty of this. I know y'all remember Mitch. Back in the day, Mitch was my boy and I used to write about him all the time but like... god forbid I put that much effort into writing about Violet or Minerva, right?

Or even look at Kate, for example. Past CJ would've talked about how much she doesn't like Kate and she hates the forced romance with Javi, she's just there as a way to make David and Javi fight, etc. But you ask me about Kate now and I'm like, "Girl, ANF did you so dirty, you didn't deserve this."

Or how about Bonnie in S2? We all love to hate on Bonnie, but like... she's such an interesting character?? She's a recovering drug addict so desperate for a place, and you can see Carver's manipulation at play in the way she talks about him to Clementine. It takes seeing him physically beat Kenny within an inch of his life before she's like "Yeah no, fuck this, we're leaving tonight." And we give her shit about Luke's death and being mean to Clementine but frankly? Yeah, she's mean to Clementine and that's fine.

What, it's okay for Kenny to lash out and call her a stupid kid when Sarita dies because he's your poor meow meow and it makes his character soooo morally gray and complex? But Bonnie lashes out about Luke's death and suddenly she's just a massive piece of shit? No complexities or anything? There's no grey morality? No underlying motive or emotions behind the choice to abandon the group with Mike and Arvo?? She's just a bitch??

And do I even need to talk about Sarah? Hmm? We all know how Sarah was received and how fans still talk about her. Again, Sarah has a complete meltdown over losing her father and people get hurt, and fans wish death upon her... but Kenny has a meltdown and brutally beats up Arvo or threatens to smack Clementine or a number of things.... "that's fine, he's just really upset, he lost his family, y'know? everyone keeps trying to GASLIGHT me that he's bad but if you really think about it, Arvo totally deserved to be abused and it's actually Clementine's fault Kenny hit her because she tried to stop him-"

I just... the lengths we go to justify and defend this violent, toxic character but then act like Jane is the worst, I can't-

It's so funny to me whenever I see someone in the fandom complain about wanting more morally grey, flawed female characters because like... y'all couldn't even handle Jane. Or Lilly. Or Sarah. Or Bonnie. Rebecca. Eleanor. Christa. Minerva and Violet, in a lot of cases. So like... what do you actually want?

Note that I'm guilty of this, too, and I've asked myself that question... haven't fully worked out the answer yet.

That's the major thing that comes to mind about opinions I had that I've changed my mind about. I think a big factor in that is letting twdg go and getting invested in other fandoms, doing a lot more reading, getting back into writing, etc. Obviously I've really gotten into the Dragon Age fandom and that's what triggered this "journey of self-reflection~" when it comes to how I perceive female characters. Like, you want flawed, morally-grey ladies? That's your series... assuming you can actually handle it.

But I also recently finished a playthrough of Fallout New Vegas and remembered my love for Veronica Santangelo, like... I don't care that the game doesn't technically have romance, that's my girlfriend, I love her. Then the other night I finished my first playthrough of Life is Strange True Colors [I know, where the fuck have I been, right?] and I spent 40% of the time looking at flowers, 10% being sad about Gabe, and the other 50% trying to figure out who I liked more, Steph or Ryan.

I've also been reading a lot of wlw novels which is just..... THAT'S a whole mess I won't get into because this is already long enough and you didn't ask. Just know that's also another factor in this reflection.

And to answer the other part of your ask: I miss Louis. I would love to play TFS again for the first time again, that was a fun time.

#asks #twdg clementine #twdg jane #twdg bonnie #twdg kenny #twdg violet #twdg minerva #twdg louis #twdg kate #long answer #haven't posted in a while but i was browsing my inbox and this one caught my attention #this has been on my mind for a while and it's something i'm looking at differently y'know?#and i'm sure there are other things i'm just not thinking of that i've changed my mind about #lemme see..... oh i made that whole post about 400 days! i look at that way more positively than i used to #there ya go that's another one

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nalyra-dreaming · 1 month

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Love your blog!! hopefully this makes sense⬇️

Do you also find it frustrating that people don’t understand or ignore the interconnectedness of the relationships in iwtv? I keep seeing people say they fear relationships are being shoehorned into season two specifically Lesmand and DM.

But it’s confusing to me that people only want a Loumand season because both characters in that relationship are heavily influenced by their relationships with Lestat. So to me, it’s kind of impossible to understand those characters in the Paris and Dubai timelines without seeing flashbacks and revisiting scenes. Armand’s past deserves to be shown, as it will influence his relationship with Daniel and Louis. Which means that we need flashbacks to DM and Lesmand (even Marius).

Season one is slightly different because Loustat is the relationship which introduces us to the characters. They got the main focus because you don’t want the first season to feel overwhelming showing loads of timelines and relationships to casual viewers. The end of season one introduces us to Loumand and season two will show their story which means Lestat being shown as he’s vital to their past.

Maybe it’s just the hardcore shippers worried about this stuff? I understand people wanting their favourite couples having screen time. I trust Rolin Jones he will do them all justice. I just want to see vampires being absolute freaks in every era no matter what the ship.

I don’t know if I articulated my point properly but I hope you get what I mean.

I think I do :) (And glad you like!)

The thing is... this show is not like the others. In a good way. It's color-conscious, it's not shying away from the difficult stuff, it puts its proverbial fingers into wounds, and it clearly, obviously does not simplify the relationships.

Said it yesterday, but who would've thought we would get this. Honestly.

So... I can understand why that is something that needs to get used to by "casual show only viewers". I get it.

And on top of the show and its approach you have a source material which does not shy away from anything either. Like, Anne Rice was ... something. Definitely not unproblematic, but also fucking fearless.

And the combination of this... dense and vivid source material in combination with this kind of approach?!

It's just something that's not really been on screen before, imho.

Show of the decade, and all that :)

This combination is also why the show may be so hard to grasp for many more casual viewers, or even book readers who have maybe "only" read the first few books. Because the show is not doing only the first few books. It's doing the big arcs. It's putting in hooks, "seeds" as Assad called them iirc, to be taken up later, to come fully into play only much later.

There is a plan behind it all.

And I think that's amazing.

So to come back to the "shipping" - I have ranted about this before^^, but all the "ships" are valid in the VC. That is another thing that sets it apart from other medias and shows I think.

And that is something fandom in general might not be quite "used to" either. Because a ship does not usually need to be canon or valid in the source material to be shipped.

But here?^^

There is no need to fight or defend, or establish or justify.

They just are.

Yes I do find it frustrating at times, especially with the time that has past between seasons... but I also understand it.

It's just not like (in) other shows and that will take getting used to.

I think the show will let them be the "freaks" in every era though, and I think that's very, very beautiful :)))

#Anonymous #asks #ask nalyra #amc iwtv #iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #interview with the vampire amc #iwtv amc #iwtv 2022 #interview with the vampire #shipping #ships #relationships

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emotionallychargedtowel · 3 months

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For the BL trope ask game: 4 and 13

Thanks for the ask, dearie! (And for getting this ask game started to begin with.) These tropes are very much up my alley.

Long-Term Pining (4)

I’m a big fan of long-term pining, as I'm sure you know and as is probably abundantly clear to anyone who reads my tumblr or talks about QL stuff with me elsewhere. I’m not sure what’s so especially compelling about it for me. Part of it is how special it is for someone to be that loyal and committed. Staying constant over a long time without encouragement is one of the biggest indications of the strength of someone’s feelings you could have. I also relate to it in some ways, because when I have serious feelings for someone they don’t ever really go away. Not to mention all the hopeless crushes I’ve had in my life.

A lot of my favorite BLs/QLs involve a significant amount of pining, so I had plenty of ideas for this trope—if anything, I had too many. I decided to go with my new blorbo, Ai Di from Kiseki: Dear to Me, because his pining takes a really interesting form.

According to something Louis Chiang said in a behind-the-scenes video, Ai Di has liked Chen Yi since he was six or seven years old, which would have made Chen Yi nine or ten. By the time of the second part of the story, Ai Di is 22 and Chen Yi is 25. That’s sixteen years of pining.

The thing I find most interesting about Ai Di’s version of pining is that it has a really paradoxical quality. Because of a combination of circumstances and his personality, he doesn’t respond to things in the way we would expect for someone who’s pining for someone else. (I guess it’s no wonder I got obsessed with Kiseki after watching it a couple weeks back, since I seem to have a thing for paradoxical relationship dynamics.) Basically, Ai Di is pining for someone while pushing him away and even rebuffing advances from him, things you wouldn’t expect someone deeply in love to do.

Ai Di gives Chen Yi a hard time about how "his eyes gave him away" when he looked at their boss at this meeting, but what about this?

In the 2019 part of the story, Ai Di often pushes Chen Yi away and even pushes him toward their boss. He passes up invitations and complains about Chen Yi including him in things, repeatedly makes fun of Chen Yi for being a virgin (according to Ai Di) and says he’s impotent, and tells him again and again to confess to or hit on the boss, practically daring him to at times (albeit in a derisive way that wouldn’t be a great approach if he actually wanted Chen Yi to make a move). When Chen Yi kisses him, he bites his lip hard enough to make him bleed (after only hesitating for a microsecond). After he has sex with Chen Yi when he’s drunk, he distances himself in the biggest way yet. Partly out of guilt about this, and fear that Chen Yi will hate him when he realizes what he did, and partly out of his usual desire to protect him, he voluntarily goes to prison for four years in order to protect Zongyi (whose imprisonment is Chen Yi’s responsibility).

From this point on, Ai Di pushes Chen Yi away even more than before. When Chen Yi comes to visit him in prison on their shared birthday and brings a cake like the ones he used to get for him, dropping massive hints that his eyes have been opened now, Ai Di is incredibly cold and tells him never to visit again. When he’s released in 2023, he continues to push Chen Yi away with all of his might. He avoids him, tells him repeatedly that they should cease all contact, and returns gifts Chen Yi sends him. The most hurtful thing he does is probably the way he talks about the night they had sex, claiming he did it “just for fun.” He goes on to rebuff two more advances from Chen Yi despite continued hints that he has come to understand and even return Ai Di’s feelings.

If your prospective partner has to put you in a double kabedon, you're hardcore about avoiding them.

Chen Yi’s next attempt is successful. He ties Ai Di up, since he apparently has to be physically restrained in order to hear Chen Yi out. Chen Yi finally tells him more explicitly that after Ai Di went to prison he’d figured out how he felt and how much he’d done for him, that he knew it was him when they slept together (at least, after a certain point), and that he’d realized that he actually returned his feelings.

This is an epic amount of avoidance for a long-term piner. In some cases, his avoidance is probably for the best. When Chen Yi first starts to put the moves on him, he hasn’t begun to sort out his feelings about the boss. Giving way could easily have made everything worse. But once Chen Yi starts to understand his feelings, it would have made sense for Ai Di to start to let his guard down. Yet he pushes back against Chen Yi’s overtures way harder at that point.

When asked in an interview (translated here) about what advice he would give Ai Di, Louis Chiang said about Chen YI, “you have to go after him relentlessly, don’t let go of him, don’t let go of your own love for him, keep looking at him persistently, and make him look back at you.” Ai Di pretty much does the opposite of this, so there’s no wonder Chiang thought he could use this advice.

Why would someone behave this way? There’s actually a good psychological explanation. It has everything to do with the adverse experiences he had as a child. We don’t know when the boss started taking care of Ai Di, but he was definitely with his birth parents or some other parental figures for some time before that happened, and according to him, his parents “went crazy because of drugs,” implying intense use of serious substances. Even if he was under the boss’s care at a very young age, his most formative years would have been spent in a very chaotic environment. It seems like he experienced severe neglect and he may have seen any number of things a child shouldn’t. Like a lot of people with this kind of early experience, Ai Di appears to have a disorganized attachment style. Which is something I could go off about, but that should probably be its own post.

For now I’ll just say that I think the paradoxical way Ai Di behaves given his devotion to Chen Yi is one of the things that makes him such an interesting character.

Grumpy/Sunshine (13)

I'm a bit partial to this trope, too. I have a few favorites. Ji Woo and Seo Joon from To My Star are right up there. But for this post, I’m going to talk here about another grumpy/sunshine pair I love: Mamoru and Issei from Kabe Koji.

How much more grumpy/sunshine could they get?

When it comes to BL protagonists, Mamoru is about as grumpy as it gets. He approaches the world as if disappointment and provocation are so inevitable that he may as well get angry and resigned now and skip the part where he makes an effort. And it seems like he’s had his share of experiences that led him to have these expectations. He deals with homophobic bullying on a regular basis. His rare sources of happiness are really tenuous, like his vacillating popularity with readers of independent comics. And his selective, biased memory of what happened with Issei serves to justify his worst views of life and humanity. Yet in the face of all of this, he has a remarkable, stubborn insistence on following his dream, and though he compromises it at times, he usually listens to his creative voice in an admirable way.

Issei, meanwhile, is such a sunshine boy that he dances right up to the line where toxic positivity starts. But he doesn’t cross it. He's not always great at sitting with his own negative feelings, though he manages to grow his capacity for that as the story progresses. But it comes pretty naturally to him to sit with other people’s negative feelings. It’s one of the reasons he keeps winning people over wherever he goes--he's able to join with people in their fear and distress and still hold on to a thread of sincere positivity and compassion.

The trouble with Mamoru is that the negative filter he applies to everything is too extreme and he applies it so rigidly. It’s wild to see how much his brain is able to twist anything into something bad. Studying psychology and doing some training placements as a therapist definitely showed me firsthand that human beings have a remarkable capacity to twist things to fit their existing beliefs and expectations, so the fact that I was frequently blown away by Mamoru’s negative filter is really saying something.

In his gentle, good-natured way, Issei forces Mamoru to look at things differently and open himself up to new experiences and relationships. It’s amazing gift to be able to do that. I don’t think I could pull off being as sunshine-y as Issei in a million years, even though I have some low-key Pollyanna tendencies. But I wonder if I could learn from the way he relates to people. Sometimes he handles other adults in ways that remind me of things I’ve read in parenting books. I guess this is because he makes it a priority to validate others, and that’s an important parenting skill. I don’t think he infantilizes others, though. It’s more that Issei is the kind of person who would treat a kid with as much respect as an adult. And really, the things that kids need from interactions with their parents are almost always the same kinds of things we all need from one another.

And again, so grumpy, so sunshine.

It’s interesting that Mamoru is able to provide something to Issei that he can’t get elsewhere. It’s been a while since I watched Kabe Koji so I could be off here, but I think it has to do with the one little idealistic piece of himself that Mamoru has guarded with all of his grumpy defense mechanisms–and the fact that Issei ended up as a sort of patron saint of that part of him, a symbol of hope in the world. If he only saw Issei this way, that would be a big problem. But he’s still able to see him as a person–if anything, he understands his personhood and respects his feelings more than anyone. I guess he’s cynical enough that an idealized image of Issei as a perfect ray of sunshine wouldn’t be believable or appealing to him anyway. Sometimes his image of Issei gets a bit disconnected from reality, like what happens when he doesn’t interact with him in real life for a long time and just sees him doing idol things on TV and stuff. But as long as he’s around him sometimes, he continues to really see him in a way that few people do.

It really doesn’t get better than someone who really sees you for who you are and still thinks what they see is exceptional. Or when someone you think is truly exceptional sincerely loves you back.

#bl romance trope ask game #bl meta #kiseki: dear to me #kabe koji #kabe koji nekoyashiki kun desires to be recognized #psychology of bl #japanese bl #taiwanese bl #louis chiang

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jennylaufeyson · 9 days

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Another ted talk by yours truly

I have so mucn beef wiith myself about this whole larry denial . Let me tell you something. I've been in this random since 2012. That one random time Harry tweeted, and it was like a before and after of a pic of Louis, i was there for that. I was there for them being besties and then acting like they didnt fucking know each other. And i thinks thats what made Larry real for me. Becuase why? Why live with each other and literally have this bromance that had so mucb spotlight and then have to act like you hate each other? The only other reason that i can come up with for having to do that is that they got into a fight, and again thats a murky reasoning. These boys were literally on top of each other. How do you go from that to never even looking at each other. That's crazy to me. Now, I've been a hardcore Larry shipper for years, but i keep it to myself. I see shit online. I've been there for the gfs and all that, and i just mind my business. Why? Because their personal lives are theirs. Would i like to know whether I've been delusional or not all these years? Yes, of course , but they do not owe me that. Lou said the other day in an interview that the only people that understand what they went through are only them 5, and i honestly agree. Who knows what kind of fucked up shit they had to go through? I mean, Zayn left the band and has been mia ever since, apart from releasing music until now, where it looks like he's finally reached a point to be out in public. The truth is we dont know what happened behind closed doors, and maybe we never will, but i think part of being in this fandom is supporting our boys because of their music and talent. Lou should not have to go on stage and talk about how people questioning his son irritates him because, yeah, of course it does. That is a child who one day will have access to all of this and forget the fact that it says their dad is gay it also questions whether its his actual dad or not. Dont you think he has it rough already? His parents aren't together, and his dad is a world-famous singer who im sure can't see him as much as he would like.

I get asked whether I actually still believe in Larry. The truth? I would like to. But i dont know, i think at this point its like a comfort blanket. Its all ive known and its brings ME comfort. I have no idea if one day itll come out that we were right all this time, in the end all i want is for the boys to be happy and healthy and successful. I love both Harry and Lou and i think fandoms all over need to realize that our idols dont owe us shit about their lives. Their famous because of their talent and personality not because of who they date. And it should be enough. All this and i choose to believe in Larry and let it bring me comfort in private while supporting them publicly in whatever that requires. As always ,love my boys ❤️

#louis tomlinson #larry stylinson #harry styles #one direction #liam payne #zayn malik #niall horan #directioners

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dwreader · 1 month

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I agree with you. I do think AMC is marketing the show to the fandom and not to the casual viewers. I was already raising my eyebrow at the number of teasers and cut scenes we got. But this last trailer sealed it for me. They practically revealed the whole season.

I mean, that Claudia scene "you picked another one over me" was so visceral, and we should have seen it first with the context of the episode. Yes, I'm a bit upset about it, ngl. Because the feeling I got watching her scream at Louis won't be the same when I watch it again on the show. Same with the below:

- Madeleine being changed by Louis and Claudia

- All the loumand scenes, that cheek kiss my god. So adorable.

- The lesmand almost kiss, I saw people on YouTube that were like "wait, those two were a thing?". That is such a pivotal scene and shouldn't be revealed in a trailer

- Louis attacking Daniel in SF, we saw everything

- Louis embracing Lestat with so much ache

- The you and me scene ❤️ I loved it. Louis and Claudia, my beloveds. But yeah, same.

I mean, the job of a trailer is to attract fandom+casual viewers into watching whatever you are selling but doing so without revealing too much of whatever you are selling. Which is not what that trailer did. Here, they comforted fandom in their beliefs.

i agree and i'm a bit shocked they showed all this to tv critics/journalists who are not fans of the source material. these extended reels usually show up at conventions and stay in the room (which makes sense cause those are super fans who would pay to go to one). even though i'm not complaining we got to see it, i really have no idea how this makes the case for a more casual viewer like i don't think any casual viewer is that interested in what happened in the 70s interview or whatever the fuck they showed in the 1700s. and usually when it comes to films a really really long trailer that gives away so much is usually a sign of desperation by the studio lol.

i think they've been trying to get back the AR superfans since s1 aired and they realized this show wasn't going to suddenly make a bunch of casuals sign up for another streaming service when they already have too many. they got into the streaming game too late so most of their content is catering to the hardcore fans now (all the walking dead shows....) who are more likely to sign up for just one thing than a casual. its a shame cause s1 did a really good job of selling the show as its own very distinct thing, separate from the books. like even the s1 trailers didn't really feature lestat this much!!! now it does feel like they've reverted back to "don't worry guys its still the lestat show". also rolin in the podcast kind of gave away the amc strategy a bit like he probably should've stayed quiet but it was such a revealing interview lmao. all the strange casting choices and the addition of the 1700s stuff really should've been a sign in retrospect.

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junggunz · 10 months

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Lookism: At An EDM Festival

featuring: daniel, jay, vasco, jace, zack, vin jin, dg, gun, goo, samuel, jake + a hint of big deal.

an: coping with writers block by making a shitpost that only i will find funny AHAHAHA. tw: for the sprinkles of m0lly.

Daniel…gets a little overwhelmed by how many people are at the festival. probably doesn't take too much to get him FLOORED.

He’s particularly shocked by how little some of the girls wear. (since when were pasties, a thong, some glitter and Demonias considered an OUTFIT?)

His outfit is nothing to write home about though. If he’s not wearing just a t-shirt and shorts, he has on a baseball jersey for a dj he likes. The jersey was probably gifted to him by Jay.

Even after what happened at Club Vivi, he still gets surprised when seeing a bunch of people on different substances.

The mainstage is his home.

Obviously, when the party favors are brought out, he lets loose but doesn't go too crazy because he doesn't wanna black out; making new friends, trading kandi, dancing more and whatever. Probably might get bold enough to exchange social media handles with whoever comes up to him

[music taste: Seven lions, Jason Ross, Porter Robinson, Dabin, JVNA, Adventure Club, San Holo, Madeon, K?D, etc.]

Jay… is probably the one to supply party favors because he doesn’t trust anyone else to bring good or safe stuff. Especially if Daniel is partaking.

MDMA makes him talk. A LOT. The most he ever speaks.

Probably one of the best dressed guys at the festival since festival fashion for men is nonexistent.

He hates the idea of camping at a fest and would prefer a hotel or airbnb. But if the homies wanna camp, best believe he’s renting an RV for them to share.

He likes trance the most but he’ll go to whatever stage Daniel wants to be at.

[music taste: Above & Beyond, Tiesto, Kaskade, ATB, Armin Van Buren, Mat Zo, Hardwell, Dj Encore, Yuri Kane, etc.]

Vasco… dresses like a wook on accident (he couldn’t help it, the pashmina and bucket hat were comfy).

Listens to the same music as a wook on occasion (dubstep, riddim, experimental bass). But is not a wook because he is a good boy AND DOESN’T freeload.

He likes happy hardcore music as well.

Sober raver.

Good vibes all around because he’s friendly. He loves trading kandi and little trinkets.

Will protect you when a mosh pit breaks out. Gives the best shoulder rides.

He’s in charge of holding the totem just in case the group loses him; but mostly so Jace can use the totem as a beacon to corral the other kiddos.

[music taste: Bear Grillz, Ganja White Night, Dion Timmer, Subtronics, Gammer, S3RL, Technikore, Ziggy X, etc]

Jace… plays the role of rave dad with Vasco kind of but not really coparenting.

He’s the one to make sure that everyone has their water, he’s the one who gets everyone between stages and works around set conflicts so everyone can see their favorite dj.

Has plenty of gum and Vicks on deck.

Probably popular with girls because 1) he has gum 2) he fans everyone 3) surprisingly good at gloving and gives light shows.

He probably has the most varied taste in the group because he and Vasco wander from stage to stage.

[music taste: Steve Aoki, Timmy Trumpet, RIOT, Excision, Alison Wonderland, Getter, Kayzo, Slushii, Ray Volpe, etc.]

Zack… has mainstage/househead energy.

We’ve seen him drunk, he’s definitely one of those guys who hits all the homies with the “BRO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. YOU’RE MY BEST FRIEND” when he’s rolling.

Occasionally gets too lost in the sauce and stares at the stage visuals like he’s seen God. Someone get him some darker sunglasses.

Sings along to the songs he knows, screaming the lyrics at the top of his lungs.

Wants to give shoulder rides AND get them.

Definitely fun in this setting and brings it out in Jay and Daniel.

[music taste: Diplo, Chris Lake, FISHER, Jauz, AC Slater, Noizu, John Summit, Zhu, Louis The Child, etc.]

Vin Jin… says he hates raves but tags along with Mary anyway.

FOR ONCE he doesn’t look like a weirdo for wearing sunglasses the entire time because so many other people are wearing them (yeah, he’s not the only one trying to hide his eyes)

Probably bums a bump from whoever is willing to share their party favors with him.

Quite honestly, Mary only invited him so he could take pictures for her and act as backup if some weirdos bug her.

Plus, if he rolls, he’s guaranteed to be less of an asshole even if it’s just for a few hours. I think he gets the eye shakes really bad when rolling though LMFAO.

Doesn’t care for most edm, is literally just there to vibe and keep his bestie company since she was nice enough to buy his ticket.

[music tastes: RL Grime, Getter, Carnage, Flosstradamus, TroyBoi, etc..anyone who produces edm trap or dabbles in producing hip hop music is gonna be what he leans toward.]

DG…is constantly being invited to festivals because he’s collabed with enough djs/producers.

probably friends with more than half the festival lineup.

He’s that one fucker with the $250,000 tab for bottle service in the VIP area.

Refuses to step foot in the GA section.

Another person just there to vibe and have a good time. maybe network with some more artists.

[music tastes: whatever sounds good to him tbh.As an artist, he has to be open to exploring all genres. Probably hates dubstep though.]

Goo…goes wherever the party is.

Not too bougie to stay in the VIP areas the entire night. But definitely does spend most of his time around the folks with money.

Only goes into GA to see the drama and chaos. Maybe cause a little chaos as well.

He has the money for designer drugs but is stingy as hell.

He’s more than likely the reason why DG’s tab is so much.

Will see someone having a bad trip AND MAKE IT WORSE just because he thinks it’s funny

While rolling, he secretly wants a rave bae. Honestly might hook up with someone if he was really feeling it.

[music tastes: listens to anything fun and upbeat. Anything too slow or downtempo bores the hell out of him.]

Gun…has a hard time admitting that he has fun at festivals.

He’s a techno snob so he definitely likes the music but festivals are so grimy in his eyes.

He detests being around the GA crowd.

Biggest flex is that he was able to get into the infamous Berghain club just off of vibes alone. No intimidation or bribery needed.

Hates seeing people who can’t handle their drugz.

Would you even be able to tell he was rolling if his eyes are always black- LMFAO

Very happy that he can smoke freely; even if it means other people side eye him.

Definitely tags along with Goo to go ruin people’s trip.

[music taste: Gesaffelstein, Creeds, One True God, Eli Brown, HI-LO, Rezz, Charlotte de Witte, UMEK, Joyhauser, etc.]

Samuel…attracts too much attention he doesn’t want.

ABGs LOVE HIM. ABBs WANNA BE HIM. AHAHAHA

Why’d he even come- he hates how these random ass people on molly keep trying to come up and talk to him

Okay jk if you’ve seen the playlist you know I see him as a sadboi raver because i think it’s hilarious.

He uses music festivals as an escape. Definitely can be a little bit sleazy like Goo- he doesn’t care because it’s not like he’s gonna see or remember anyone at the festival again.

Goo gave him a VIP wristband because he was hoping to see drunk Sammy cause a scene.

The most that Samuel does is go a little too hard in the mosh pit and gets on some people’s nerves.

While rolling, he’s hype but he’s trying to vibe and enjoy some tunes. Getting kicked out for fighting would make him sad if he didn’t get to see his favorite dj.

He’s a basshead/melodic dubstep type guy.

[music taste: SLANDER, ARMNHMR, Svdden Death, Kai Wachi, Sullivan King, ILLENIUM, etc.]

Jake (+Big Deal)...is just here to bond with the homies.

Yo how tf were they able to afford going to a music festival.

They’re just here to bond with each other and share the experience of going to a music festival together. How cute.

Big Deal as a whole is pleasant to be around at a festival, trying to keep PLUR alive. They have their own ideals so the concept of practicing Peace, Love, Unity and Respect in the rave scene is very admirable to them.

Lua gets a bunch of cute pics in the outfit she DIY’d. She also made sure EVERYONE had coordinating outfits to match her. Jerry made kandi with her the night before the fest. Jerry is probably the one to carry the totem for Big Deal. Brad and Jason are shook when some girls come up to them asking to trade kandi. Lineman learns about some of the flow arts from people he meets. Sinu and Yeonhui are rave couple goals.

Obviously, when they’re all rolling it turns into a big bromance festival. Hugs, shoulder rides, head massages, it’s all that typa stuff going on with them.

Jake is the head of the train when they move from stage to stage. They make it a point to always stick together because cell service sucks at festivals. If one person wants to get water, they all get water. If someone needs to go to the bathroom, they all go.

Jake “adopts” Sammy into Big Deal’s rave fam and take care of him when they find him rolling too hard in the pit LMFAO

Jake is the rave dad of this family; even if it was Lua who remembered to pack all the essentials.

Idk Jake seems down to party. Even if Sinu is the one who has to encourage him to ease up a little. Like when does he ever get to have fun-

Jake might be THE ONE who doesn’t just find a rave bae, but is able to find something like a significant other at an event like this LOL.

[music taste: they’re all new to the scene trying to figure out what EDM subgenres they like and don’t like tbh.]

#tw: drugz #shitpost #junggunz.txt

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getawayheaven · 4 months

Text

Tagged by lovely @tangerinequeen19 for this. Thank you so much😘

when did you become a louie?

It was 2017 when I discovered Louis cos of two ghosts, then fell into larry rabbithole slowly but by the end of 2019 I was a hardcore Louie.

your earliest fandom memory?

the earliest fandom memory is definitely joining a listening party on twitter and feeling like a super fan cos I was supporting Louis. lol. At the start I wanted to do everything in my power to support him and uplift him. I used to feel quiet angry at how underrated he was. And now I feel like a proud mom when he fills out huge venues.

your favourite song (one off walls, one off fitf)?

Walls - Defenceless. I have a deep connection with this song. This was the first Louis song I heard and it made me lose my heart to his voice.

FITF - Lucky Again and Angels Fly

your favourite music video?

Nothing can compare to Two Of Us. But We Made It is just mindblowing.

favourite gig?

Definitely Cuyahoga Falls 2023 and I don't even need to explain why. And Santiago show 2022, the lights during kill my mind made it louis feel super special and he talked about it on multiple occasions.

favourite louis hair?

His current hairstyle is truly awesome but my all time fav hairstyle is this one

I mean........... do I need to explain why?? FUCKING LOOK AT HIM

favourite louis interview?

the one where he's tasting food. I can watch that interview thousand times.

suit louis or tank top louis?

sorry your honor. I just cannot choose. That's next to impossible. He looks eatable in both.

favourite louis tattoo?

28. Special for him = Special for me.

favourite louis bodypart? (c'mon we all have one!)

Tummy. Don't ask me why. It's so religiously satisfying seeing his soft tummy.

I've been so inactive lately, so I don't know who has already done it. But tagging @sillyb00ks @chai-hat-tea and @stylinsuns cos I would really like to hear their origin stories.

#tag games #this was fun #I can talk about my fav louis things endlessly #thank you so much again for tagging me #and sorry for being late

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back2bluesidex · 2 years

Text

I FELL FIRST: 01 - JHS (M)

[MC's POV]

Summary: You have been with Him since the beginning. To you he was the only person that existed in the world, in your world. But to him, you are another pair of hands that clapped after each of his performance. Will it change when you secure a job in his dancing academy?

Pairing: Celebrity Choreographer!Hoseok X Reader

Theme: Angst, onesided pining, fluffy fluff, eventual smut, sexual tension

Warnings/Tags: Major angst, mentions of alcohol consumption, hardcore one-sided pining, a lot of deep talking, mature language, sexual thirst, Hoseok can appear to be an asshole but he's good at heart.

Word count: 5,655

a/n: I am kinda afraid, I don't know if you guys will like it or not. I write in first person since it feels more personal that way, hope you guys don't have any objection about it. Tell me how you like it, I reaaaaaalllllly wanna know.

Read Prologue for context

Next Chapter

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"You're my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when the skies are gray

You'll never know dear how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away"

The lyrics played in my ear and I got temporarily distracted by the picture of Hoseok hanging on the wall of the office room. I was way too busy to associate the lyrics with my life that I didn't know Ms. Kang, the head of the event management team and also my boss, was standing right behind me. She cleared her throat and I heard it since the volume of my earphones wasn't high. I turned to her and immediately stood up pulling the earphones out from my ears. "Good morning Ms. Kang" I bowed a little. "Good morning Y/N. Is your work almost done?" She asked. "I have a little more research to do on the venue. You'll have the file before lunch." I smiled at her. "That's good" she retreated to her cubicle.

This middle aged lady was much nicer than my former asshole boss. It has been two weeks since I was working there and I never gave her any chance of disappointment. My work was always an hour before the deadline and I have impressed her with my organising and research skills already and I could tell that she already liked me a lot. Good for me though.

She called my name again, shortly after getting seated in her place. "Y/N, I have a good news for you. Hoseok has come back and he will pay you a visit before the lunch break" she informed. "WHAT??" I exclaimed. She chuckled, seeing my surprised face. "Yeah. It's not a big of a deal Y/N. He usually visits every new staff member. Even if it's a new janitor. I believe you know he was in Japan for the past two weeks and he missed the chance of meeting you. He's coming back to the academy today so he'll pay you a visit. I'm sure you're on cloud nine now" she laughed. I wasn't even in the condition to reply to her. I was zoning out for a good 5 minutes until I realized I promised to complete the file before lunch.

Compiling every research item neatly in the file I hit the send button of the email. A sigh of relief escaped my lips. I was very particular about my work and I never liked to disappoint anyone, moreover, disappoint myself. Ms. Kang was out for about 10 minutes. I was lazily browsing through the file for one more time when Ms. Kang came back but not alone. My eyes landed on him, Jung hoseok, the man I'm crazily in love with, just at the exact same time when his eyes landed on me. An eye contact, an unexpected one, and I was left breathless. He smiled at me and I could promise I would have melted then and there. He walked right behind Ms. Kang, came towards me. White oversized Louis Vuitton t-shirt paired with a pair of ripped blue denim. His smile was constant, so was my gaze on him. I couldn't tear my eyes off of him even when Ms. Kang started to formally introduce me. I was just ogling him as if he is a lucid dream and he would vanish if I blink. I just realized how beautiful he looks from up close. He is ethereal. His eyes, his heart-shaped lips, his sharp nose, his jawline everything about him was perfect. And I fell for him even more.

I was pushed out of my trance when I saw him extending his right hand towards me. I touched his hand with mine as if he was the most fragile existence on earth and he would break if I put much pressure. And the contact! What could I even say about it? His skin? Perfect. Electricity? 100000 volt. As an impact my heart took up an erratic pace.

"Nice to meet you Y/N. Hope you're enjoying working here." He said with his smooth honey-like voice and I swear my name never sounded better. I was still searching for the words, "I-uh, y-yeah". I ended up shuttering. I have never felt more nervous. Not even during my interviews or exams. All along people told me that I make them nervous but I never got nervous around anyone ever before that too, this much. He chuckled seeing my messed up form. Oh my god! It was the best sound I have ever heard. I could record it and listen to it 24X7. He came a step closer making me redder than ever. My heart was about to jump out of my chest but the man didn't cease his actions, he even had the audacity to bend to my level and look directly in my eyes. Either he had a very clear idea of his impact on me or he didn't have a clue, there was no in between.

"You're pretty Y/N" he said in a low voice. I felt like fainting. Did he really need to do that to me? I was already head over heels for him and now his harmless flirting would make me blush all day long and I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else. And that's the exact thing that happened that day. He left the room shortly after but his essence lingered with me all the damn day. And that was just the first day of encountering him, would I even survive working there? I thought to myself.

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Time flies fast and I didn't even realize when it had been a month since I joined. All of it was a blessing for some good deed that I did in my past life. Especially because I never stopped seeing Hoseok as he never stopped visiting our work room. He visited at least once a day to check up on all of us. He even joined us during lunch when there is a good menu in anyone's lunch box. Once he even bought coffee for all of us. We had small talks here and there, shared jokes, lunches and desserts at times. And I was happy with it all. I was happy with life. I was finally doing a job that I actually liked, I had a good boss who always appreciated me for my hard work, I had nice co-workers who focused more on getting the work done than licking supervisors' feet and last but not the least I was able to spend time with the man I am in love with. Even if it was just for 30 minutes a day, it was enough. I was happy along with a little bit of heartache at the end of the day.

It was all fine until that one night. After a long meeting on the upcoming festival in which the academy is going to take part, we all were tired. It was a Friday so we decided to have drinks together.

The main building of the academy was rather smaller than the other branches. There were no students in this building, there were only teachers. Yes, all the big choreographies, training and planning took place in this building. Hoseok himself used to train the other teachers and celebrities here in this building. And other than the choreography team there were only an administrative team and an event management team. The members of the meeting were consist of 10 people, only the most important ones. None of us had enough energy to drive to the bars or the restaurants. So we decided on ordering food and alcohol in the building.

Hoseok and a member from the administrative team were the designated drivers for the night so they had to stay sober. Hoseok's alcohol tolerance was a joke anyway, it was better for him. As for me, my tolerance was decent. I just tend to act a little braver when I'm tipsy. So I didn't even think twice before taking up dare during that old kind of truth and dare game.

"Show us your tattoo," Ms. Kang ordered. I didn't hesitate before pulling down the round neck of my plain black supreme t-shirt enough to expose the skin under my collarbone. The "JH" tattoo was clear and beautiful as always. "Hey, that's the same as my initial!" Hoseok said giggling, clearly not knowing the truth. "Yes. That's your initial, tattooed on me" I smiled looking dead into his eyes, he was sitting beside Eunbi, the administrative assistant, and Eunbi was sitting just across me. "But why do you have my initial tattooed?" He asked, confused. "Because I'm crazily in love with you" I answered without thinking about anything else. My mind was hazy, it was just me and him at that moment. I forgot he was still my employer and I was there among 8 others. A small smile lingered on my face when I held an intense eye contact with him. He looked away and by his face I could tell that he was uncomfortable. "Okay, it's getting late already. Let's all go home" Ms Kang said, sensing the tense atmosphere and I couldn't be more grateful to her.

While coming back I insisted on coming back on my own but Ms. Kang was adamant on dropping me. Both of us ended up in a cab together since she lived only 10 minutes away from me. The silence in the cab was comfortable. I laid my head on the backseat and glanced outside. The deserted roads of Seoul reflected my deserted self. I finally told the love of my life that I loved him but his face after the confession shot daggers in my heart. The way I made him uncomfortable! Ah! How could I! Something in my gut was telling me that I was about to be heavily avoided. A silent tear rolled down my cheek just with the thought.

And guess what? My gut feeling is never wrong. Hoseok eventually decreased visiting the event team. Whenever he came it was purely for work. And whenever he was there, it was just a small nod with a small smile that I received. It was all my fault. I wanted to apologize to him so badly but the damage was done already. I didn't even have the face to say that I was feeling terribly sorry. I stayed away from him too. I didn't want to make him any more uncomfortable. But the pain of being ignored by the man who defines my day and night was something I never suffered before. It killed me cell by cell, tissue by tissue.

-----------------

Three more weeks passed like that and I gradually started to crawl back in to my shell. It was that night when the whole academy decided to have a karaoke party, I had to stay in. The smallest studio was converted into a karaoke room. Everyone was singing, dancing, drinking, all in all enjoying themselves. I stayed there watching them, actually watching him, while he watched someone else. Kim Somi, one of the prettiest girls I have ever seen, one of the most talented one as well. The one to have the eyes of Jung Hoseok. I have observed the way Hoseok looked at her. His eyes were always different when he monitored her. There was always an added admiration in his eyes which used to be missing in the case of others. He had a hint of jealousy when Somi's partner touched her a bit extra during the practises. There was always a lingering smile on his face when he saw Somi smiling. I had observed it all and I had willingly pushed myself to the edge of destruction.

I never knew Somi could sing this well too, no wonder why Hoseok was giving her heart eyes. He was so subtle and he believed no one knew. But then there was me, who had eyes always open for him. His eyes made me cry almost. And I questioned myself again and again, why wasn't I fortunate enough to be at her place. I wanted to run away so bad. Run away from this pain, from him, from this stuffy place and everything else. I did as I thought. I exited the room successfully without making anyone notice me.

I stood there on the balcony perceiving the night view of this beautiful city. My eyes were glassy and I blinked them rapidly to get rid of the tears. "Hey" someone called and I knew who it was. I waved at him without saying anything. "What are you doing here? Not enjoying the party?" Hoseok asked. "Uh.. I just needed a bit of fresh air." I replied. My pain was increasing but I realized it was the best chance to apologize to him. "Ah, Hoseok, I needed to tell you something. If you don't mind,'' I said. He visibly tensed with my proposal and the sight increased my chest burn even more. "Yeah sure, go ahead." He smiled a little. "I am really sorry for that night. I know I made you too uncomfortable but I didn't intend to do so. I know you have stopped spending time with the crew because of me. I'll stay away I promise. You don't have to distance yourself from them. They miss you. And once again I'm extremely sorry." I said it all in what feels like a breath. I was so damn tense and Hoseok felt it. He placed his palm on my shoulder and said, "calm down Y/N. There's no need of apologizing. I am not upset with you. It's just that…" he lowered his head, "I felt bad. I mean.. uh- I actually am sorry, you know. I felt too bad for you. You are such a beautiful human being and I adore you. You deserve someone who can love you with everything. But I am sorry…" he breathed out. "You're sorry for what Hoseok? For not being able to return my feelings?" I chuckled a sad chuckle. " Do you think I fell for you expecting you to love me back? If you did, then you're wrong, Jung Hoseok. I have been in love with you for a long time now and never once I expected reciprocation. Just you are enough, your presence is enough and it will always be enough for my not-so-demanding heart." I looked at him deep in his eyes.

"I know you must have thought I was asking you to be my boyfriend after I confessed without thinking anything that night. But trust me Hoseok, it is not that. I won't blame it on the alcohol solely. A part of me definitely wanted to let you know how I actually feel but I never looked for your reciprocation. I have been watching you since your street-dancer days. I have only missed two underground performances of yours due to my exams. I have congratulated you with your favorite white roses when you got your first job as a choreographer and when you opened your first academy. All of these I did without expecting anything from you and because I am thankful to you. You have been the one to stick to me when everyone else left. Your soulful performances are my escape. Your SoundCloud albums are my comfort place. If I am here right now that is because I wanted to be a part of your team and not because I wanted to come after you and throw myself and my feelings at you. I know my place well. So please don't feel sorry for not being able to love me back, I never expected that in the first place. I am more than happy just to be able to see you up close, just to get to talk to you, just to spend unexpected times with you like this. Please don't misunderstand me and take that away from me. Please." I finished whatever my heart was holding for all these times. I closed my eyes, I was afraid of his reaction.

"That… was… deep" he said slowly. I could tell that he was short of words. He continued, "I am sorry for misunderstanding you Y/N. I never thought love could be so selfless. I am grateful to have your love. I know I can't love you back like that and now I know you don't expect that either, so at least we can be good friends?" He said looking at me with a small grin. "Sure. If that's okay to you" I replied looking at him. "More than just okay" he said with a bigger smile. Both of us faced the city view now. After a while of being in silence he said, "so shall we go inside now?" "Umm… I think I will be here for a bit more. But you should head back. You're probably missing her already" I chuckled. "W-what? Missing whom? What are you talking about?" He was shocked. "You know what exactly I am talking about, Hoseok" I cocked an eyebrow. "Ho-how do you know? I never told anyone! Am I that obvious?" He was beyond shocked now and I almost laughed at him on his face even when my heart was breaking. "No, you're rather subtle but I am a bit more observant than average." I said, smiling at him, "so when are you asking her out?" "Uh! I don't know Y/N. It's just that I don't think she sees me as anything more than her senior. She never showed any interest in me as a person. And what if she ends up thinking that I'm a creep to ask one of my most talented dancers out?" He replied with a sigh. "How do you know that she's not interested you know? You're much more subtle than you should have been, Hoseok. You need to show her your interest to understand her reaction." I advised him. "How do I do that?" He questioned. I knew he was one of the least experienced people in the dating field and he might need some help. I was ready to help him, even if that destroyed me completely. "Just talk to her more about her and not only about dance. Ask her if she had lunch or not. Tell her she's looking pretty. Try to stay close to her, leave lingering touches. Bring her juices and stuff you dancers eat. And during all these, measure her reaction. Try to understand if she's taking it all positively or not. If yes then it's a green light. If she's uncomfortable then it's a red one" I said. He was looking at me with wide eyes. And finally after processing my every word he opened his mouth, "woah, you made it sound so simple." I chuckled hearing his compliment. "It's simple, Hoseok. Just try. Don't lose the person you like so much" I said trying to keep my tears at bay. "Thanks, Y/N. Thanks a lot. Now that you know my secret you better expect a lot of shit from me. I will be disturbing you a lot. And not only because of the secret but also because I would love to talk to you. For the past few minutes whatever you said made me realize a lot of things. I would like to keep talking to you. As a friend." He looked at me and the look broke me even more, as if that was possible. I just smiled silently. "And oh. You should call me Hobi from now on. My friends call me that. See you later" with that he left the balcony, leaving me broken or maybe powdered. My tears forgot how to stop flowing once he was gone. I knew he could never be mine but the confirmation from the man himself was tough to take in. He already had someone else in his heart and I wasn't that person. It was too much. It was all too much to take.

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It was both good and bad that Hoseok and I clicked right away, as friends obviously. Good because I was at least his friend. Bad because I had to listen to how much the man I loved liked Somi. He would come to my cubicle randomly and blubber how cute Somi had been looking that day or how jealous he had been because of Somi's dance partner. Being a contemporary dancer, she needed her partner for most of her acts and Hoseok would get jealous whenever the partner provided Somi with some extra hugs and pats here and there. Hoseok would come straight to me and would vent out (only if he didn't have anything else to do). Or he would text me to come to the rooftop and then vent the shit out about how much he hates that partner of his crush. I would just look at him with an undying heartache and with a wish that someday someone would be just as much jealous for me too. Yeah, I wished for 'someone' cause I knew it would never be Hoseok.

"Do you think I should confess today? Will it be too fast if I do?" Hoseok asked. Somi asked for his special supervision for an upcoming performance. And obviously Hoseok was going berserk and there are reasons why. 1. Somi asked for the said supervision after classes, which means most of the building would be vacant. 2. It was a solo performance so the partner would not be there. 3. It wasn't a contemporary dance routine rather freestyle, in which Hoseok specializes. All in all it was a good chance to win over the girl. Moreover, it is quite evident that Hoseok is not the only one in the feels. The shy and sly smiles that Somi gave Hoseok whenever he complimented her told the truth. Sometimes I cursed myself for being too observant because I could even sense the sexual tension between the two when all of us would casually be hanging out after work. It was good for both of them but not for my heart, which was being smashed with every glance they shared with each other. So after today there's a huge chance that I might be loving someone else's boyfriend in the near future. "Y/N! Where are you lost today?" Hoseok waved his hand in front of my eyes. "I uh, the sky looks beautiful today. So I was just…. Leave it!" I sighed and continued, "about confession right? Do whatever you feel at that moment Hobi. I mean you should leave it on your heart, if it tells you to confess right then and there then just go ahead and confess. There's nothing called being fast when you're already pining over her for some good months." He looked at me with stars in his eyes and I almost misunderstood the gaze for a moment. "What would I do without you Y/N? I would have been totally lost and the progress that I have made with Somi couldn't be found if it wasn't for you." He said. A sad chuckle left my lips, "with me or without me Hobi, you would be living just fine. You would have found someone else to help you out. I am nothing but a passerby in your life, making almost no difference. Rather ask yourself what would you be doing if Somi wasn't here? Just the thought hollows your heart doesn't it? She's important. Someday if I change jobs and never meet you again, I will just become a part of your fragmented memory and nothing else. But if tonight Somi accepts your confession, she will be someone you can spend the entire life with. So, don't need to give me much importance, it increases my expectations and I hate to expect from human beings." I looked him in the eye. I knew my tone and my words were bitter. The bitter feeling that engulfed my heart produced it all. I thought being his friend would be enough for me but I was just lying to myself. and his sweet words did nothing but cracked my broken self even more, so I had to be bitter for saving myself.

I didn't really think he would reply but he did and left me speechless. "You may think whatever you want Y/N but it's not important for me to agree. To me you're not just a passerby because you behold much more importance than most of the people in my life. And maybe I could still think of my life without Somi, since I don't know much about her yet neither have I shared any heartfelt conversation with her. But it is actually hard to imagine you not being in the picture. If it wasn't for you, I never knew I could be loved so ardently. If it wasn't for you I would not have someone to send a sincere 'you have worked hard, good night' text at the end of the day. Not everyone would order an iced americano for me when I stay late in the studio practicing. And even if I had someone to do all these for me, it wouldn't be selfless like yours." He took a pause and came closer to my body. Cupping my cheeks with his warm hands while looking deep into my eyes, he said, "You ARE important to me Y/N. Much more than you think you are." Completing the sentence he pulled me into a warm hug. I felt him snuggling into the crook of my neck. I hugged him back putting my chin on his shoulders, my happy tears threatened to fall but I held back the urge to cry in the embrace of my sunshine. The entire world seemed to be like a happy place. His embrace felt like my home, cozy and warm. I didn't want him to let go so I hugged him even tighter, for once forgetting the fact that he can't be mine.

For the remaining time I couldn't really keep myself to myself. My heart felt warmer than ever. Only I knew for how many times I had touched my cheeks to feel his touch there. A faint smile lingered there for the entire time.

It was almost the time of going home when Ms. Kang requested me to make a copy of some agreement documents. I had to cross two of the studios to get to the copy room and one of the studios was for freestyle practice. Just the thought of crossing the studio made shivers run down my spine and I knew why. The door was open and music was on, signaling Hobi was supervising Somi. I took small steps towards the copy room. When I reached there near the studio, I tried hard not to take a look inside but my rationality betrayed me. I ended up looking inside and my heart immediately dropped into my stomach. The sight of Hobi holding Somi by her sides and Somi rhythmically grinding her hips on Hoseok's crotch area, made my head spin. The pleasure was evident on both of their faces. My eyes got blurry with the effect and I almost ran towards the copy room cursing myself for peeking into the room. I made the copy with my trembling hands and turned my heels back to return. I promised myself I wouldn't peek anymore, but again like a fool I betrayed myself. This time I ended my seeing them devouring each other's lips as if they haven't had anything for years.

That night, I cried my eyes out. I have never encountered this much pain ever in my life before. It was unbearable for me but still I couldn't make myself promise to move on. I just cursed myself for taking his "you're important Y/N" in a way I should have not. I still was just a friend and she was now his girlfriend. In a room full of people she'd be the one he would look for. It would not be me. It would never be me.

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A month passed and Jung Hoseok and Kim Somi are now the most happening talk of the academy. Every time they were seen together everyone would talk about how perfect they look together. And me being a fool smiled at them agreeing to them while wiping tears away when they left. Seeing them together killed me everyday but it all seemed fine since Hoseok was happy. He often talked to me about how lovely Somi is, or about how big her smile was when he got her her favorite flower or how she intertwined her hand with Hoseok's and gave him kisses in front of that partner of hers. I consoled myself by telling myself that at least Hoseok is happy. That's all that matters. And I still was that friend of his, with whom he loved to have conversations, that should be enough for someone like me. Someone who was introverted, who didn't know how to dance well, who didn't know how to put makeup on her face, who was pretty indeed but not a doll like Somi, shouldn't not expect Jung Hoseok's heart. He was out of my league from the beginning.

"Now please be serious Y/N and tell me where I should take her for the date?" Hoseok said. I was busy making fun of his t-shirt which he decorated himself with his million dollar painting skills. I controlled my laughter and said, "trust me Hobi, about this one thing. I have no idea." He dropped his head at my response, "but! Okay then at least tell me as a girl where do you prefer going on a date?" He asked. I smiled a little and leaned on the headrest of the couch placed in the conference room of the building. "Me? I would love to visit the beach during the night time, it's even better if it's past midnight. I would love to take a beautiful walk barefoot through the seashore intertwining my fingers with yours… I mean with my date's. I know I sound like a romantic fool but I hate expensive restaurants. Those seem to be too superficial to me. So it's better if my date doesn't show up wearing an expensive suit expecting me to wear a dress worth millions only to eat steak at a boring restaurant. I would love to wear my oversized hoodies while he is clad into his comfort attire and he would back hug me during a chilled night watching the sea." I said it all imagining him and he probably imagined it all with Somi's face. I turned my face to see that he was already looking at me with an unreadable expression, "you know, you're different?" He said. "Yeah. I get to hear that a lot." I replied and he gave me that sunshine smile of his. "Whatever, it's better if you ask your girlfriend where she wants to go. I think it's better than asking every single person in the academy." I said. "Yeah, I guess so. But I only asked you tho." He replied. I only smirked and got up from the couch to head back to work with a heavy heart.

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Day by day I realized how wrong I was when I thought being just friends with Hoseok would be fine by me. Because if it really was fine, I would not have to escape from the ongoing karaoke party again after finding them locking lips with each other even in a room full of people. The sight made me sick and I needed a dash of fresh air to regain my composure. The sky was cloudy and it was about to start raining. But I couldn't care less. I wanted to get drenched. I felt like I needed to wash it all away from me. So I didn't move an inch when the rain started pouring. I stood there on the rooftop feeling every single drop pricking on my skin. I liked the feeling more than I thought I would. It was refreshing. I forgot that I was wearing a white shirt and I had to get home. I forgot that my skin would be on view through the wet material of my shirt. I forgot all the rational thoughts and enjoyed the rain until a firm grip on my arm pulled me under the narrow shade of the stairway. The dim light of the shade made it clear that it was none but the embodiment of my love and pain, Jung Hoseok. I was pressed against the wall and he was towering over me. "Have you lost it?" He said in a low voice looking at my drenched face, "You're totally drenched". His eyes traveled down my body where my wet shirt was clinging to my skin. My gray bra was prominent leaving my cleavage at quite a sight through the material of my white shirt. I saw him gulping, as his eyes got stuck on my chest. He visibly shook his head and looked up into my eyes but only for a brief moment before his eyes dropped on my lips. He licked his lips while staring at mine. And I swear I saw him starting to lean down. I cleared my throat, gaining his attention and he backed away immediately from me. I walked away to the washroom leaving him there.

That night I was proud of myself, firstly for having some kind of power over Hoseok that he almost cheated on Somi. Secondly for not taking any irrational step being blinded by lust and love. No matter how much I loved him, he was still someone else's boyfriend. On another note, I decided to move on from him for once for better.

a/n: the next part will be Hoseok's pov so his thoughts his feelings will be explained. It will be better I promise. 💜

Next Chapter

Taglist:

@phenomenalgirl9 @scentedsope @teeheelittlebitch @betysotelo18 @jnghs @hobiewaifu @addictedtohobi @dreamsarenicee @definetlythinkimanalien @dreamer95 @cxbts

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cbrownjc · 1 year

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does it satisfy y'all psychosexually to be condescending and hoping loumand fans get egg on their face. y'all are so miserable you spend so much time on fans you don't like instead of like idk enjoying and talking about what you like

imagine how much happier you'd be if you left loumand fans alone to their "delusions"

but you have to feel superior for knowing anne's racist, sexist, homophobic, pedophilic books by heart

Oh look, I got my first anon hate.

Listen carefully Anon. No one is being condescending to y'all about what we're saying here. Nor are we miserable about it. Quite the contrary, from a little I've seen, some are even looking forward to laughing at ya'll about all of this . . . hell, I'm sure some are already doing it.

Also, you have clearly never read much of my Tumblr if you think I've spent all my time these past few months talking only about Louis-Armand shippers, good lord.

But some of us, particularly me, have been in and around fandoms for a long long time now. And have seen variations of this very same thing happen long before now. And it'll more than likely happen again after this in some other fandom too.

So the fandom drama regarding what's coming is pretty easy to see coming in that regard.

Because I have seen what probably you and others have said in other Anon asks to others here on Tumblr about this. And it isn't inspiring any confidence that it'll be any different than it has been before.

Look, no one has been telling you not to ship Louis and Armand. I mean, maybe a few hardcore people who only focus on ships - and Louis-Lestat in general - may have, IDK. But the Tumblr blogs I've seen and follow largely have not.

And I'm not telling you not to ship Louis and Armand. Knock yourselves out, enjoy it! Many already have been shipped them long before the show was ever a thing.

What some of us are saying however, and what we are just trying to warn you is that it might behoove you, however, to ship the characters as they really are and not what you wish and imagine them to be.

Because it's not going to make you happy in the long run to do so. You're just going to be angry and pissed off, and take that out not only on the writers and quite possibly the actors, (who aren't ever going to deserve it), but on those in the fandom as well.

I mean seriously. I've already seen what some of ya'll have said about Sam Ried, including via other Anon asks to other people. And it doesn't make y'all look good, okay? Or give me any incentive to think I'm wrong about what might happen to another actor after S2.

If it doesn't happen, I'll be shocked, and happily surprised. But again, I've seen this scenario before. More times than I've cared to. And hell, you are already doing it now to me and S2 hasn't even aired yet.

And again, we're not being condescending. All of this from some of us is no more different than trying to warn someone about playing with a loaded gun with the safety off who has no experience at all with guns.

Many of us are really, really just trying to be informative and not mislead you into what is coming. We want you to be informed and ready for it.

And mitigate the fallout when it does.

Again ship Louis and Armand to your heart's content. Love their characters all you want. I love them. Many of us do.

It would just better serve you, in the long run, to do so as their characters actually are, and not as some mirage you feel personally attacked about whenever someone rightfully points out that the house of cards you've built up - particularly about Armand's character - is exactly that.

#Armand #The Vampire Armand #Louis de Pointe du Lac #Lestat de Lioncout #AMC Interview with the Vampire #Interview with the Vampire #amc iwtv #iwtv #Fandom #IWTV Fandom #Loumand #Loustat #Armand x Louis #Lestat x Louis #Sam Reid #Assad Zaman #ask #ask and answer

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unclefungusthegoat · 8 months

Text

So I've been thinking about THIS:

for like a whole day now, and it's got me like:

So here are my notes and questions and thoughts:

Gonna be long, going to put under a 'keep reading'

THE PEOPLE INVOLVED

Simon Mirren. He created Versailles, and him posting this image suggests that he's working on a project related to Versailles or the Louis XIV period of history.

'He's back'. The word 'back' here absolutely suggests a return of someone we're familiar with.

Alex Vlahos is INVESTED in whatever it is - suggesting 'HE' is Philippe. He liked the post and commented 'Makes you wonder why he ever went away'...

... and then David Wolstenscroft, the OTHER creator of Versailles, replied saying 'And how'.

This is so cryptic. They all know who 'he' is. Alex seems perhaps wistful, maybe about the end of the show and therefore the end of Philippe. 'And how'... I've no freaking idea what this means. How 'Philippe' went away? How he's come back?

How he went away... the show ended.

How he's come back... well I have a theory later.

This screenshot above is taken from Gabriella Petrillo's Twitter account - as you can see, Alex shared the pic to his Instagram story captioned 'Oh, who invited you?'

Which is in QUOTATION MARKS.

Meaning that this is either Philippe asking the audience, or a general character tagline for the project.

OTHER PEOPLE WHO LIKED THE PIC

Anna Brewster (Montespan), Sarah Winter (Louise de la Valliere), Raphael Roger Levy (The Masked Man in S1), and also Nicki Oebel who works with Alex as the second half of his film company Cowhouse Films

TAGGED NAMES

Tagged in this picture are:

ALEX VLAHOS (and his tag is directly on the man's head, which might not mean anything, but suggests it's him)

EVAN WILLIAMS (not him, Chevy is blond)

GEORGE BLAGDEN (the only other real candidate as to who this could be, but compared side by side to the Versailles promo photos, and with the lack of response from George, I doubt it)

STUART BOWMAN (too young to be him)

Also tagged: Versailles Series, MonChevy Love, Versailles fan club.

Bonus: Helen Mirren (Simon Mirren's aunt), Bella Thorne, both actors, and also Louis Vuitton Official and Harris Reed, both fashion houses/designers

THE IMAGE

OK, so lets assume this is meant to be Philippe.

COSTUME/HAIR

The jacket is the wrong style for 1600s Versailles. It's more 1700s, and the real Philippe died in 1701. The costume designers for the original show were METICULOUS in their choices and the way things were worn. Including COLOUR PALATTES. Every character had their own. And Philippe only wore white like this once... at the costume party in S1 E9 when he dressed identically to Louis. Generally, Philippe wore more grey and silver.

If the figure is Philippe, the hair is the right colour, but shorter, and also half up, which is not a style Philippe ever wore in the show. His hair was sleeker with much looser waves, whereas this man has quite thick hair.

LOCATION

I think the Chateau in the photo is Fontainebleau, where some of Versailles was filmed, but I can't find a direct parallel photo from the position 'Philippe' is standing in. However, Fontainebleau has lots of water near it, like in the photo. (And I also feel like I saw Alex visiting there on Instagram within the past few months but I don't know if my brain is playing tricks on me)

IS IT AI?

My sister pointed out the image could be AI generated and honestly? I agree. No hands on show, and the bottom of the sleeves look a bit weird. No location tagged either. Historical costume that isn't quite right for the period we're assuming it to be, or for Philippe's character, which wouldn't be inkeeping with the series' aesthetic.

Could definitely be AI.

REALITY CHECK

Versailles was the most expensive show Canal+ had ever produced. I think it still is. And a new series, or spinoff series, would be just as expensive to produce. This isn't Game of Thrones we're talking about. The show has its hardcore fans, but it wasn't exactly a household name, which studios would throw masses of money at to reboot.

The story of S3 of Versailles also ended in the early-mid 1680s, just as the cast were reaching the point where it seemed ludicrous that they all still looked so young. The cast are now all doing different projects, several have married and had children since. They've moved on with their lives. To think they'd all return to a reboot or spinoff show... is unlikely.

However...

SAINT CLOUD

Alex Vlahos tormented us all with this snippet of a 'Saint Cloud' concept trailer a couple of months ago. Saint Cloud was the name of Philippe's chateau, and his spinoff idea was always a MonChevy comedy show about their lives and debauchery and stuff at their home.

But let's face it, this whole thing feels unlikely, and more just like a bit of a fun idea than something that a studio would actually produce, and he's only just started writing a concept trailer...

BUT.

SPEAKING OF...

ALEX VLAHOS

I'm gonna do a whole section on Alex Vlahos, because there's no way he's not involved. He, in fact, announced something at the convention that gives me my biggest theory about what this is.

Alex is obviously a driving force for the Versailles fandom. He was a key figure at the conventions and at the con in May I went to, and on Instagram shortly after, he announced he is going to do a Versailles podcast next year. It'll be a 30 episode thing, one for each episode of the show, and he said he'll have guest stars to chat to... including other actors and the showrunners, Simon Mirren and David Wolstencroft.

So.

That is a CONFIRMED upcoming Versailles project.

And so this image?

MY THEORY

I'm running with the theory that it's is a promo image for Alex's Versailles podcast, possibly made with AI.

It would make sense.

It's something for the fans, hence the tagged accounts. It'll feature the tagged actors to talk about the show. It's not something that is going to cost a million euros to make, so is more realistic. It's not a long term commitment for actors who have other jobs now.

It shows a man who looks a bit like Philippe - looking back at the chateau, as if reminiscing about his time there... just as Alex is going to do on his podcast.

BUT'S

Of course, this is just my theory. If it is the case, the fact that this podcast had already been announced twice makes the mysterious nature of this pic/conversation weird. And the fact that it was Simon Mirren posting it first, not Alex Vlahos, would be weird too, although maybe it's just because it's going to be quite an 'official' thing, with the support of the showrunners.

But I digress.

Anyway, on a final note, I would VERY VERY VERY willing to be proven wrong, and have a Versailles S4 or a MonChevy spinoff happening, I might actually cry if it does hahahaha

#versailles #monchevy #alex vlahos #alexander vlahos #versailles series #philippe d'orleans #ngl I mostly wrote this out for me #so I could rid myself of the brain worms lmao #but feel free to add your theories/details #join meeeeeeeeeeee

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