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shakingparadigm · 7 days

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Seeing all those analysis posts about how Till liked Mizi because she was gentle while not giving the same attention to Ivan because he wasn't... how Ivan might have made Till uncomfortable because he expressed his admiration for Till through violence because he liked how Till had the courage to fight back...

I was wandering if Ivan ever realized that the way he went about showing his feelings wasn't positive for Till and he fucking did. "I wish I had been kinder" he fucking regrets dude, fuck me man.

(This veered wildly off-topic I am so sorry.)

Coming back to this ask after the most recent R6 update is interesting.

I've always wondered why they chose the title Cure in particular. I was expecting a song title along the lines of Star or something abyssal. Then I thought about Till's affiliation with experiments and drugs and the various ways he was hurt. Cure... It also brings to mind how the content for Ivan highlights his "oddness", how he's framed as someone different, almost wrong in a sense. There's something that he lacks, something that he feels the need to fix, to cure.

In the recent ROUND 6 production post, the true meaning is revealed. You're right on a certain level, but as always, it's complicated.

Both Ivan and Till seek a certain type of "healing", maybe to compensate for their pain, their oddness and their loneliness. They wish to be cured of their suffering somehow and they seek the solution in other people.

QMENG states that Till desires a type of healing that Ivan cannot provide, and vice versa.

It goes without saying, pretty common knowledge at this point, but Till is a lot softer under his rebellious front. As someone who's been beat and abused his whole life, it makes sense that that type of love he'd want is something gentler, something stable. It's incredibly obvious in the way he acts towards Mizi. She's so genuine, so bright, untainted by the cruel reality of the world. Till softens around her, since she has only showed him kindness he in turn shows her the sweetest side of himself. He's had nothing stable to cling onto before, so he immediately becomes attached to this idealized version of Mizi. He believes she's the only person who can provide him with what he needs, the only one who can "heal" him.

It's outright stated that Ivan cannot provide that type of "healing" that Till is looking for. Ivan does try, of course. Unfortunately, he lacks something fundamental. Because of this he expresses himself in rather childish ways, which may involve a little cruelty and attention-seeking. A lot of Ivan's actions are muddled by his complicated feelings as well, as its stated that his true emotions and intentions are difficult to grasp. With Till, Ivan wants to save and be saved, hurt and heal him, keep him and set him free. Live for him and die for him. He criticizes Sua on the ethics of self-sacrifice and then goes on to do the same himself. With Ivan, everything contradicts.

He tries desperately to be the cure that Till needs, but due to his incredibly complex nature that "healing" will never be just healing. It may come with more pain and confusion despite his best efforts.

I don't think Till refused to give Ivan attention because he wasn't gentle enough, rather I think it's because everything was so complicated whenever Ivan was involved. Ivan is there for him in his times of need and causes a fair bit of trouble during the rest. He's strange and hard to grasp, but he's familiar. Calling each other "friends" seemed like such an inadequate label because they're simultaneously too close and not close enough. Ivan does wish he was kinder, though. Not only to Till, but to Sua and most likely a few other people as well. There's a lot of aspects in which Ivan wishes he were different, and it's tragic to hear how he deprecates himself in his final moments for it.

There's the second half of QMENG's statement as well, "vice versa". Till cannot provide what Ivan needs either, but Ivan desperately desires it anyway.

Ivan views Till as his cure. He wants to not only "heal" Till, but to be healed by him as well. This desire can be seen in the lyrics of Cure:

Notice my pain

And mend me right now

To quiet my fears

I'll drown in you

(The wish for "healing" is stated.)

In your gaze, where I’m seen

Consume me, yes, me, oh, oh

(Ivan urges Till to "consume" him like medicine, he wishes to be what Till needs.)

Ivan lacks something, and he believes that Till can make up for that lack which is why he's so fascinated by him. If Ivan is a black abyss, Till is a supernova, bringing life to an empty void. Unfortunately, Till is explosive and rather inept at handling his own extreme emotions, which causes him to either lash out violently or retreat further inward and push Ivan away. He's also a thoroughly destructive and hurt individual, seeking his own cure in another form. He cannot provide what Ivan needs.

Both Ivan and Till are incredibly volatile. That's not to say they don't have their gentler sides, but overall they've been doomed from the start. Ultimately it's no fault of theirs, they did what they could with their complicated feelings and fought through their own respective hells.

In the end, Ivan had to come to terms with the fact that he couldn't get the "healing" he needed and could never be what Till needed, either. That's why he finally acted on his impulses and let his complicated feelings win over, resulting in his death. Despite all the heartache, his final thoughts are a statement of gratitude. Truly a tragedy.

#eughh sorry for all that anon. thank you for the ask!#i dont even know if this is coherent anymore im sorry #alnst #alien stage #alien stage ivan #alien stage till #ivantill #alien stage round 6 #asks

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kazumiku · 5 months

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�� SIMPLE AMUSEMENT

NSFW (crossposted on AO3 @Kazumik)

SUMMARY; Your best friend, Heizou, has no sense of self-control. Nor does he have any dignity left, or shame for that matter, as he keenly allows his perverse side to reveal itself during a lecture, appallingly enough in front of the professor's presence. And, well, everyone else's included for that matter.

READ WARNINGS; ooc Heizou, sadistic Heizou (i think), sexual content, public fingering, minors do not interact

you have now been warned...

The professor’s silvery voice enters through the mic as he stood at the mini podium, echoing through the lecture hall as he goes on about the current lesson for the semester. It was boring, to say the least, some students sleeping and others playing on their laptop, acting like they’re listening or something along the lines. Only proves as testimony to how sleep-worthy the time was rather than to listen to a tedious babble that people could study later on the internet—or in the library, if you’re feeling rather brave.

Heizou had finished his classes for the day, so he joined in yours instead, choosing to sit beside you like a clingy koala that can’t live without its tree that it calls a home. You’re his home, after all, might as well be one as he’s basically stuck with you by the hip at this point.

Of course, you allowed him to do so. You always do. You’re as infatuated with him as he is to you, and it’s painfully obvious to everyone who spares a glance at the both of you. If the sky is blue, if water is wet, Heizou wants to fuck you; giving you those bedroom eyes of his should be confirmation enough. Ah, but young love always comes denial, so before any labels, other than ‘friends,’ are established, his hands are already on you.

The skin of his hand calloused, rough from his training in martial arts, but it’s nothing you’re not fond of. Each part of Heizou is a puzzle you’ve already solved—well, partially, since his feelings are mysterious as a 20-year-old unsolved case could be (even if it’s as clear as day in other people’s eyes).

His palms squeezed your thigh from under the table, his olive green eyes looking upfront as if he wasn’t touching you, caressing you so… sensually. Heizou’s fingertips played with the hem of your skirt before slipping under the fabric to grope your plush skin, his sinful hands contradicting with the bored look on his charming face as he yawned. If people didn’t know better, he looked drowsy—he’s quite skilled in the arts of deceiving.

“Heizou, what are you doing?” You whispered with an accusatory tone, directing to the redhead beside you who simply glanced briefly before shrugging.

“What are you talking about, babe?” Heizou answered with a question, his voice as low as yours as to not perk anyone’s attention to the both of you. He will, eventually, though.

You could only shoot him daggers with your eyes, threateningly so, he found it adorable as his lips broke into a mischievous smirk. Chuckling under his breath, his hand moved higher, using his nail to trace imaginary shapes on the flesh of your soft thigh, inching dangerously close to the lace trim of your underwear. Thank god, if it weren’t for the desk covering the scene and the fact that you both sat at the far back, you would’ve been sent to detention by now and Heizou’s rights to see you during class-times would be revoked.

Pressing his thumb above the fabric your panties where your clitoris would be, you jerked in your seat, leaving people to cast fleeting glances at you, a variety of bewilderment and suspicion. You simply offered an awkward smile to anyone who turned their head, leaving them to brush you off and resume to what they were initially doing.

Turning back to Heizou with a scowl, cheeks puffed, round like a chipmunk’s as you furrowed your brows together, frustrated and awfully aroused. “Stop it, we’re going to get in trouble,” Squirming slightly in your seat, you whined, a hand reaching down to grasp his wrist and endeavored to pry it off you, hoping that would be enough of a sign for him to stop.

But, rather than the response you were hoping for, it was as if his whole arm became rock solid, with impossible strength that you couldn’t possibly compare with.

The redhead turned his head to you with a grin, lazily leaning back on his seat before his fingers shift to slide between your slit to feel the dampness that accumulated from all this harmless teasing. “You’re so easy,” Heizou snickered before slipping his fingers back to between your folds, now prodding against the soaked material. As much as he wants to shit on you for getting so turned on by getting toyed with in class, he was equally as aroused as you, the tent growing in his pants telling much more than he’d like to reveal.

Tugging the trim of your panty to the side, shivers ran up your spine as the contact of his rough skin met flesh with your bare pussy, the hairs on your supply skin standing up. He was playing a risky game, but a thrilling one nevertheless, the blood pumping fast upwards to your face as Heizou started to caress your sensitive folds.

His fingers sought out your little nub, pinching and twisting the erect pebbled flesh that poked out of the hood of your pussy. Your bottom lip slipped between your teeth as hastily as you could before any lewd noises might come out to spill, swallowing your sounds back down along with the growing lump in your throat.

You still had a hand around his wrist, but due to his unmoving resolve, you could only dig your nails into his flesh in an attempt to ground yourself. You couldn’t stop him—might as well indulge, no?

Heizou smirked at that, passing you a wink before he pushed his middle finger inside you experimentally, though easily pushing past the natural resistance of your entrance due to the slick nectar that pearled out, using its viscosity natural lube. His digit rubbed your insides, nudging at your velvety walls to seek a spot that he can bully while you could do nothing but squirm and suffer in your seat.

Chewing down on your lip won’t be enough as you brought a hand up to your face, opting to cover your mouth instead while tilting your head down, sweat dripping down your forehead as you breathed heavily, inhaling and exhaling deeply as quietly as you possibly can. It proved to be a challenge to do so, though, once he found the spot that drove you to almost choke out a loud moan if it weren’t for the hand suppressing your erotic tune.

Your grip on his wrist had become impossibly tight, grasping on him like a lifeline as he added another finger, stretching you out and curling up towards the spot he’d memorized. Tears sting your waterline as you perched your forehead against the surface of the desk, your hair draping down the sides of your face to cover whatever lewd expression graced it. That was an ego boost for the redhead, to see you all so submissive and adorable like this.

Heizou leaned his head down, cradling his cheeks in the palm of his hand before whispering straight into your ear, “You like this, don’t you? Your cunt is sucking up my fingers so much, baby,” He purred before shifting his head to press a kiss on your neck then going back to his initial position, sitting straight on his chair. His fingers remained relentless nonetheless, pumping in and out of your slick heat in earnest.

It was a miracle nobody has found out... yet, the squelch of his digits abusing your insides getting drowned out by the professor’s loud voice in the speaker, luckily enough.

After what felt like an eternity (though it was just a few minutes) had passed, your insides clamped around his fingers, indicating your growing climax, a familiar knot inside your stomach snapped and your limbs felt like mush. Your arms gave out and you panted, desperately trying to regain what little air you had inside your lungs for the moment, your whole body sensitive as Heizou rode out your orgasm with a devilish smile.

You hadn’t realized your hips had moved on its own, bucking weakly against his fingers before he pulled them out of you, a string of translucent slick connecting his hand to your pussy before it snapped and dripped down to the floor. The redhead chuckled as he heard your little whine from the empty feeling, and as much as he’d like to do more, you’ve already attracted a much bigger audience than he expected when small whispers started to emerge from left to right.

#genshin x y/n #heizou x you #shikanoin heizou #heizou x y/n #genshin x you #genshin impact #heizou #heizou x reader #heizou smut #genshin heizou #genshin smut #genshin x reader #genshin imagines #smut fic

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slasherwhxre · 1 year

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I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR PT3 Of “catching feelings for you” with Frank 😭😭😭 I loved it so much

oh what the hell. you got it bb <3 side note, is this still a reaction?.. who knows honestly, i enjoyed writing it.

Masterlist

DbD Killers' Reaction to: Catching Feelings for You, pt. 3

|| Characters: just Frank Morrison (as requested)

words: 1k (could've been way more tho)

[pt. 1] | [pt. 2] | [pt. 3] (here)

Frank half-masterminded a way to go about his problem, particularly about this so-called crush. He didn't know whether to feel mad at fuckface Ghost for putting it on his mind or at himself for thinking of you in the first place.

He had a plan of sorts. Well, it was in the works, kinda.

Okay, not a plan, no, though others would sure as hell label it as one, which is why he had kept it to himself. This was no doubt annoying.

Of course, that and.. the near constant awareness of having so much as an operation specifically designed for you awakened another level of disgust inside him.

Frank would get over it.

He just needed some blood to wash it off of his mind.

Unfortunately, it wouldn't happen.

Frank had tried. Was it his best?

Nah. No comment.

"So..," came a greeting and continued, "This is a first," all before he could even reply with 'Fucking tell me about it'.

The young woman in front of Frank had her arms crossed, she had a hidden mix of actual surprise in her sarcastic tone, "Guessing you didn't do so hot."

Frank exhaled, disappointment in himself apparent, "Jules." It meant don't start.

"Oh, hey," said another lively voice. Frank groaned inside for once. How great, here comes yet another unnecessary sack of flesh to make a comment on his misery. A most sincere welcome-back congregation this had turned out to be. This is way more fucking new, he thought to himself. "Hey." "You're.. uh, very clean." Suzy hesitated before voicing what she saw. Well. Clean.. as I ever will be, Frank peered down at his jacket.

The lack of survivor blood, or muck, or just... whatever dirt Entity World had on it was equally disturbing, as you in his mind.

"Focusing on a bitch when you can be killing bitches is unlike you," said a deeper voice. Voila. Now they had done it. He was annoyed times two. "Cut off my back."

Frank saw his crew look at each other with a concoction of amusement and confusion before focusing on him once more. Then followed the reactions.

"What?"

"You okay there, buddy?"

"I mean, if you insist."

The twice-as-annoyed and now even can be considered disgruntled man facepalmed, hard. He palmed some of his exposed hair in streas. It seems 'crush on the mind' was already costing him brain cells, so what's a few more?

"Urgh, I clearly meant to say, get off my back or cut me some slack. I don't know. Fuck me. Leave me alone." This must have been the definition of sheepish. On top of it all he had just contradicted his own words by taking a step inside the shack.

I'll leave first, whatever, he had intended, at least, but an unwelcome, however unsurprising, voice made him stop, accompanied by a not-so-genuine-sounding slow clap. It came from above. I'll. Just. Walk. Away.

Nope.

"Wow, wow, wow..." Oh, what fucking now? Frank held back the desire to shout.

"Our own little Frankie.. dazed by his newfound love. I can't believe it."

Love? You're fucking crazy.

And so am I. It's just a survivor that doesn't even fucking know you, and the fact that the words that came out of this motherfucker's mouth didn't feel all that unnatural is absolutely fucking insane, I will-

Frank ceased his derailing.

He put on a not-so-bothered-at-least-in-front-of-the-enemy act and gazed at the tree.

"Fuck are you doing here?" he barked to a pair of dark and muddy boots, who then decided it was a perfect time to jump down and make his presence known, like he hadn't done so already.

"Oh, me?" Ghostface pointed his thumb towards his masked face in an exaggerated manner, "Well, I just came by to say that that was truly embarrassing, even for you."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Ah, but you already know." Danny tilted his head while checking out his nails nonchalantly, "It's just kinda interesting that you're making us know too. My sincerest thanks."

"You're not a part of this."

Danny looked up at the four. "Oh no? I don't see a lot of backlash." Needless to say, his confidence got on head Legion's nerves. "Take a vote."

Silence.

Frank didn't need to look to his left, right or back to know they were enjoying his antics, so he didn't bother. This was remarkably tipping his anger to the limit and his members watching this interaction go down wasn't helping. "How about.. you take a hint instead?" Fuck. That was all he could muster. Ghostface more like FrustratingFace, fuck thank God I didn't say that.

"Hint? Hint that you get your rocks off to the newbie? Oh, Frankie-"

"Call me that again-"

"Even the Entity must fucking know." Danny's tone took a sharp turn to ice-cold. It made something known to Frank's mind. Oh. So that's why...

"Yeah." Danny put on strong emphasis. Frank's silence had given the dawning of realization away, "That's what's up, dummy. The entity sees everything. There's no way it'll put you on a trial with the newbie if you keep letting livestock get away from you, will it, Mr. Wolf? I mean, just use your head a bit." Frank tuned him out as he went on about how the Entity couldn't go hungry like a little baby. He wasn't that dumb. Sure, he was dumber now that you preoccupied most of his empty-mind, but Danny had already made his point.

Kill you.

He had to kill you the next time he saw you. And he hoped to whatever God that was out there that he wasn't too attracted to you to stick his knife right in your heart.

Nah, he wasn't. But maybe he could take care of both of his problems? Two birds with one stone. Meh. One knife, one love. He'd figure it out.

pt. 4? 👀

#dead by daylight #dbd #dbd x reader #dbd fanfic #frank morrison #frank morrison x reader #dbd frank #dbd legion #the legion x reader #ghostface

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artyandink · 1 year

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Hello, could I request an Anthony Lockwood x reader where they both act like they are dating (pet names, sleeping in the same bed after Bad missions, just doing small affectionate things) but nothing is confirmed and then kipps asks reader out and lockwood steps in. At home they had a heated argument & confession and maybe make out?

LABELS AREN'T MEANT FOR US (YET)

Lockwood and I never like to put labels. They make everything definitive and unopen for interpretation. Amirite or amirite?

"Leila, love, it's 9 am." Lockwood himself reached out to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear, making me giggle and slap his hand away. "So I take it you had a good sleep, then?"

"Just peachy, darling. You make me feel better after those bad missions." I grinned, and got a kiss on the forehead in return.

"Well, George may be making breakfast round about now, and you know how he is about timings."

"Oh, yes, the timings." I got out of bed, quickly combing my hair while he threw on the business clothes he wore that showed off his toned physique. The shirt did, and the jacket polished off the look.

"I swear, you two should be dating already." Lucy tutted. "Listen to fate, please."

"We don't put such labels on our relationship, Lucy, they're too definitive. Besides, Lockwood and I are friends." But I truly did want to be something more, yet I'd contradict my own words if I did. Oh, this world is too confusing.

"Exactly what Leilani said. Now, hop off to breakfast, we'll be down there in a minute." Lockwood cut in, saving me. I smiled at him, tucking the other strand of hair behind my ear and then twisted a strand of my raven-coloured hair around my finger and let it drop. "Absurd, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

George and Lucy kept pointing out things that set me and Lockwood apart from being normal couples. The way we look at each other, how we always work together, we light up in each others presence, the usual rom com malarkey. But we'd gotten into the habit of keeping our hands near each other, pinky fingers intertwined as if we'd float away if we'd let go. Nobody really knows why Lockwood and I are so close.

That is with the exception of the two concerned.

Long story long, Lockwood and I first made eye contact shortly after his parents died because he was put in the house next door. We'd go on playdates all the time, we trained together and even though he was a better fencing prodigy than I was, I supported him all the way. He was brilliant. Clever with his words as much as his brain, athletic yet packed with technique, the whole package. Then one fateful day he pitched the idea of an agency to me, and me being the reckless soul I was, I agreed, henceforth starting Lockwood and Co because it sounded better and cooler than Yaris and Co. I was there for him during the struggle of being orphaned at a young age and he was there for me when I lost mine to a car crash. We were as thick as thieves...

Even though every day I wanted to be more than that.

THAT VERY EVENING:

"Evening, Laila." Lockwood greeted, starting to write on the tablecloth.

"Hey, Lockwood. Figuring out the case of the Lipton Street wraith?"

"Yeah. I got a lot closer thanks to your clue."

“Yeah, what can I say, darling? I��m good at this stuff.”

“I know, love, that’s why I ask you.” Our fingers intertwined, looking at each other for a second. I felt truly safe with Lockwood. I couldn’t explain it, really. All I could say about it was that he was like my only vice when things went wrong, the one to hold me after a bad case or the person who’d just protect me anyway, acting as a shield between me and the dangers out to get me.

I remember the countless times he’d put himself in critical danger for me, jumping in front of an advancing ghost or distracting it when he had nowhere else to go. In that moment I felt it was the other way around, and I couldn’t help but rise to the occasion.

“I’m going out to meet Flo later, at around 6. We’re going over the details of me acting as her intermediary.” He told me, and I nodded in response. Flo was our good friend. She was an amazing person as well, so no wonder she became the only relic girl in the world.

“I’m going out with George at the same time. We’re grabbing pizza.” I informed, absentmindedly writing something down until I realised what it was.

I love you, Anthony Lockwood.

I covered it up urgently, awaiting his reply.

“Which pizza place are you going to?”

“Pizza Hut.”

“Enjoy your pizza.”

“Enjoy your time being an intermediary.”

“Why does that feel like you’re throwing intense shade on me?”

“No!”

“Come here, you little monkey!” I tried to run, but he grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into his chest, starting to tickle my sides.

“Please- no - Anthony - stop- please!” I giggled, breaking down into hysterical laughter in between words.

“Never!”

“I swear, if you two aren’t dating already, I am opening a court case.” George interrupted, holding a mop.

“Labels are definitive. Aka it’s not for us. Which means that we’re not dating.” We chorused in unison. It became habit for us, really. Barnes said it, Lucy said it, and now George did.

“But you obviously like each other.” He folded his arms, blinking. “Leila, your talent is touch, just touch one of his belongings, see his memories.” My sense was touch, and it’s the most dangerous talent, and for some reason mine extends beyond normal capabilities. If I want to, I can see someone’s memories, even if they’re living, by touching one of their belongings. But no. I respect boundaries.

“No. I wouldn’t do that to anyone, I’m not intrusive.”

“George, we don’t like each other. I love her like she’s my best friend, almost a sister, but nothing more.” We both went our separate ways, but what Lockwood said kind of hurt me.

His best friend. Almost a sister.

I guess that’s what I was to him.

“Anyway, I’m gonna have to cancel on the pizza. There’s some research I need to do. Is that ok, Leila?”

I nodded, fighting back the visible despair. “Yeah, sure. I’ll go on a walk myself.” I pulled on my jacket, clipping my rapier to my belt and leaving the house to go on a quick walk.

“Hey, Leilani Carson, isn’t it?” I turned to see Quill Kipps, standing there nervously.

“Yeah. What d’you want, Kipps?” I asked more with more hostility than I’d usually use to ask someone a question.

“I was in the area, and I saw you were lonely and could use some company. You know, just as someone to talk to.” I’d known Quill Kipps since a young age. And I knew as much as he could be rude and stuck up, he could be genuine. Perhaps he was just being genuine.

“Sure, I’d like that.” We started walking side by side together, and the first thing I heard nearly made me have a heart attack.

“I’m sorry for any anger I may have caused you ever since we met. It isn’t justified, especially if it’s how Tony and I had disagreements.” He looked solemn, and I knew that this was genuine, because it was clear. If Kipps could be anything, it’s a window. You can see through him clearly.

“I mean, you’re not the first person to dislike Lockwood. You just prove it every time you see him.” I shrugged. “He’s temperamental, so I don’t blame you. One second he thinks the world of you and the next you’re just a sister to him or he hates you with a burning passion.”

“Did he do that to you?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh… I’m really sorry. You don’t deserve to be treated like that.”

“Do I not?”

“No. You’re a good person-”

“There are lurkers on either side of us.” I warned, taking out my rapier and spare flares. Kipps did the same, both of us going back to back.

“Lucky we both came out here together, eh?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We’d finished off the lurkers, plus a couple of shadow phantoms, and Kipps offered to drop me home. I reached the door after a lengthy conversation about what we liked and our hobbies, how we ended up where we are, so I realised that he really wasn’t that bad. Kipps wasn’t as bad a person as Lockwood painted him to be.

“Thank you, Kipps, I really had a lot of fun today.” I smiled, standing on my tiptoes and pecking him on the cheek. Ascending up the steps, my hand was on the doorknob when Kipps called out again.

“Leila!” I turned around, bemused, “Would you fancy going out for a coffee tomorrow morning?”

I grinned, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Kipps, I-“

“Am not interested.” Lockwood had opened the door, standing there with his jaw ticked and physicality set in an intimidating way. “I’m dreadfully sorry, Kipps, but you’re not bagging my colleague for your private collection of gems. Terrible day to you.” He pulled me inside and shut the door, turning to me, livid. “What were you doing with Quill bloody Kipps?”

“Oh, I dunno, having fun? I was alone, he was alone, we were walking and talking together! We also had to fight off lurkers and shadow phantoms, so I’m glad he was with me!” I retorted, hanging up my jacket and putting my rapier back. “And what the hell was that for?! ‘Bagging my colleague’?! ‘Private collection of gems’?!”

“Kipps isn’t someone you should trust. He could be using you.”

“If Kipps is one thing you aren’t, Anthony bloody Lockwood, then it’s easy to read!” I yelled, storming into the living room with him after me. “He was genuinely interested in me, and I wanted to go out to have coffee with him!”

“You don’t know him like I know him!”

“I know him better than you know him!” I yelled, our voices rising. “Not everyone is who you think they are! Sometimes you don’t know them well enough to judge! You think Kipps is some stuck up idiot but he’s not, he’s just a person who you both severely dislike! You think I’m a sweet girl who’s your best friend, who will forever remain your colleague, but guess what?! I’m not sweet! I can be really salty if I want to and you do NOT want to see that side of me! And you, Anthony Lockwood, I don’t even know where to start! You think yourself a glorified hero but you’re just-“ I was cut off by Lockwood’s lips on mine, my breath cut off until he detached from me, tongue darting out to lick his lips quickly.

“Hopelessly in love with you. That’s what I am. And I know that you may think of me as so many things, but-“ I grabbed his tie, pulling him in again, his hands reacting in less than a second and resting on my waist. My arms wrapped against his neck, both of our lips moving fast in response to our adrenaline. I felt my back collide with the wall, my hand reaching down to undo his tie and chuck it aside while he quickly undid his shirt buttons, taking it off and laying me on the sofa, starting to press light kisses to my neck.

“Do you want to still go for coffee with Kipps?” He asked, grinning.

“Hell no. This is much better.”

#anthony lockwood x reader #anthony lockwood #lockwood and co #george karim #lucy carlyle #quill kipps

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morsobaby · 1 year

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Reminder that gays and lesbians and all same gender attracted people are allowed to have a complex, weird, contradictory and nuanced relationship to their gender identity and nobody's allowed to argue about that. If another gay person doesn't fit your preference move on. Transmasc lesbians and Transfem gays aren't your enemy. Nonbinary lesbians are nonbinary, yes, even if that means bigender, Xenogender, agender, genderfluid. Yes, even if that means they sometimes identify as heteros, bisexuals pansexuals or other multisexuals due to their gender identity. These people are enjoying the full spectrum of the rainbow and you should rather admire them than throw rocks.

Oh, and yes, even if they AREN'T hetero, bi, Pan or other multi orientation where their gender is concerned. If a genderfluid lesbian is most comfortable labeling as a lesbian (regardless of their current gender status) that's none of your fucking business. They're entitled to their preferences the same as you are to yours. "I wouldn't date someone like that, it'd cause me dysphoria/discomfort/ect or make me feel invalidated" okay, that's completely okay. Don't invalidate or cause discomfort or dysphoria on those people then. If two people are comfortable in their identities and care for each other, it's not your place to police their relationship with each other. It's not hurting other gays if two people who identify as gay but have contradicting gender identities love each other. That is a good thing actually? People caring for each other despite or bc of their differences and finding solidarity and comfort in each other regardless of labels, whilst still acknowledging and identifying with them. People can (but don't have to) change their labels when they're dating someone. Wasn't the whole point to break down the barriers of who is and isn't allowed to date each other based on arbitrary standards or gender boundaries. This is about consenting adults who love each other.

People are allowed to exist as being simultaneously mlm and wlw, nonbinary and other gendered people can and do form relationships with heteros and that's okay. Someone can be gay in one aspect and straight in another. Dykes have been boyfriends to girls only for years. Fags have been girlfriends to other boys for years. Transmascs and lesbians have loved and supported each other for years. And yes, dated too.

When you say gender is complex, when you say sexuality and orientation is complex, do you mean it? Or are you just saying that with a side of "When it fits these boundaries obviously"?

I mean it. Questioning people, genderweird and dual people deserve the same respect as any other queer people.

This post includes aces and aros who date and form qprs, and this all also applies to them. It's people's own business what relationships they form in regards to their identities.

#My thoughts #Genderqueer #Genderfluid #Gender #Trans #Dyke #gay fag #D word #F word #transhet #inclusionism #Ace #Aro #queerplatonic #Transfem gay #Transmasc lesbian #Nonbinary lesbian

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dog-park-dissidents · 10 months

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I’m a queer anarchist, and your music has really helped me accept myself, so here goes…what advice do you have on loving my radical self? I find myself trying to look respectable and chill to avoid being a stereotype, opting out of actions to please my family, and just internalizing a lot of BS about what it means to be an anarchist in the world. Thank you so much!!

David Graeber, RIP, guy at Occupy Wall Street who coined the slogan "we are the 99%," often said he was a "small-a anarchist" and that anarchism was a thing he did, not an identity. That is probably the healthiest way to engage with anarchism in a modern world where political identities and political language have been turned into sports teams and brands, completely divorced from anything that the words behind them actually mean. US politics at least have turned into "are you a LIBERAL or a CONSERVATIVE" which sort of means something but also means nothing, and its meanings contradict each other to the point of uselessness. They're not real ideological frameworks, after all. Nobody can give you a coherent manifesto of US American "Liberalism" but it's the thing you're supposed to agree with if you don't think gay people should die?? Maybe??? It doesn't even have any connection with the philosophy of classical liberalism, which is closer to stereotypically Republican fiscal politics, EXCEPT for when the ostensible "left wing" liberals actually agree with that shit? Anyway yeah it's a mess and it's no wonder why the younger generation is desperately trying to find an alternative way of labeling themselves so as to signal that we're outside of all that bullshit.

So don't do that. Actually be outside of all that bullshit instead of coming up with an edgier sports team to root for. Not that you're necessarily doing that, but just, remember not to do that.

Focus on the material circumstances you live in: the state and money and laws and all that shit are just things somebody made up one day before you were born. You exist in a world you had no say in constructing. Your goal is to figure out how to survive, and then to thrive, and then to be happy, under these circumstances. And ideally make them better for everyone else.

Now as for opting out of actions to please your family. Sounds like you're stuck in a family situation where you're not free to go where you want and be yourself without scrutiny, and that sucks. From the perspective of an effective anarchist, remember that it's from each according to their ability, and you don't have to feel any guilt about not doing your part to change the world.

But from a queer perspective? That queerness sounds a lot more like what's causing your tension about making yourself look more respectable. And that plays into this feeling you have of being trapped by family, or by capitalism, or whatever forces are making you feel the need to put yourself in a box. Obviously you've woven your queer identity pretty deep with your anarchism, which is good, but that definitely makes the desire to express your anarchist identity a whole lot stronger. It can feel like the same thing as your sexual orientation or gender when it's such a deep part of your worldview.

And that makes for a big contradiction in a world where political labels have turned into deep personal identities at the expense of any coherent intellectualism. Whoops. Everybody else has been forced to pick a vapid red or blue choice and here you are with an extremely deep sense of pink and black. Uh oh.

But that's the great thing about queerness, is to be comfortable existing as a contradiction, as category-defying, as someone that doesn't need to be intellectually consistent because you simply ARE. So be you. Don't feel like you have to debate the chuds in your head to explain your existence.

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proshippy-fox · 2 months

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hey uhm question what’s a radqueer? /gen

i see this term tossed around a lot and a lot of the sources i look at have very different meanings and interpretations and i just wanna know which one is correct /nm

I'd say that, like the term proshipper, it's best to ask someone who uses the term or specifically in this case, used to use the term. Not sure I'm the best to ask here because I am not radqueer nor have I used to term to describe myself, but I'll share my thoughts anyways.

I'm anti-radqueer because the radqueer community, from what I've seen (mainly from radqueers who post in the proship tag at times) support things like being "transrace," "transdisabled," and "transnazi," as well as some people who used to be part of the radqueer community saying that there are lots of pro-contact harmful paraphilias in there. I think it is a harmful community not only because of that, but because they try to co-opt queer terms (trans) in ridiculous, nonsensical, and downright harmful ways. You can't "transition" to be black, or asian, or white, or any race or ethnicity. You can admire other cultures, and want to learn more about them, but that is not something you can "transition" into being a part of. You don't "transition" into becoming disabled, you simply become disabled due to certain factors. You don't "transition" into hating an entire race of people- You are just a hateful person.

For that last one, having intrusive thoughts about potentially being racist, sexist, a pedophile, anything harmful at all- Those are intrusive thoughts. That is not a trans identity. None of these radqueer labels mentioned have anything to do with gender, and trans is a term used for gender. I will not doubt that there are radqueer identities that do deal with gender, but as the radqueer identity accepts people who use the term trans for harmful and disrespectful purposes, I am very anti-radqueer.

There is also a difference between rad-inclusive and radqueer- I've seen people who are rad-inclusive say that they are anti radqueer. Rad-inclusive, from what I've seen, means they accept transgender and queer identities that seemingly contradict each other, such as m-spec lesbians. I personally have no problem with queer people using labels like that as they please- gender and sexuality is very fluid, and being queer hurts no one.

I suppose the main problem I hold with radqueers is just how disrespectful and harmful many of the terms they use are, and the way they try to claim these terms should be associated with gender and sexuality when they are not.

Again, it's probably best you ask people who have first-hand experience with radqueer spaces. I am lucky enough to not have any personal experience with any of them, considering how some have said grooming and encouragement of nonconsensual paraphilias are rampant.

I'll put the proship tags in, so maybe someone else can help answer your questions more accurately. I myself am also a bit curious, and would love to see what other people think^^

#proship #anti anti #anti harassment #proshippers please interact #profic #ask tag

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orbital-inclination · 4 months

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PLEASE ID LOVE TO HEAR MORE

Picking up where we left off…

In the immediate aftermath of the Incident, Dream and his brother manage to escape the facility. But things are not okay yet.

The developers had tried to remove the part of Nightmare that had learned what it meant to care for others; what they ended up doing was a soft memory wipe.

When you perform a soft memory wipe on a bot, there is a short window in which it’s possible for them to recover the files that you’re trying to overwrite. Dream could not have known this. And with what little freedom he had, he did not have the time he needed to pull off a miracle.

And so what happens is that while bits and pieces of Nightmare’s old personality slowly re-awaken, his memories do not. He doesn’t remember his bond with Dream, (on Dream's end, they've been introduced to each other twice. on Nightmare's, only once) he doesn’t remember all the times he held back or why Dream hesitates now, and he certainly doesn’t remember the old handler he was once so fond of. (Who has since gone missing.) But he possesses information he can't explain. There are commands deep within his archives that contradict themselves. Pathways that lead no where. Orphaned strings of code.

Nightmare feels like he’s been used but he can’t tell by whom. This state of confusion, and the feeling that he is missing large chunks of his own mind, is what leads to the break out and all the violence that occurres during it.

When they finally escape the facility, that alliance ends. In Nightmare's mind, Dream is still an enemy. He is labeled as a threat in his files. (Dream was a participate in the violence done to him. And because he knows he was also a participate in the violence done to Dream, he doesn't understand Dream's insistence on following him anyway, or likewise why Dream helped him escape.)

Nightmare can't trust another bot anymore than he trusts a human. He needs time to sort himself out. Patch himself up and preferably that needs to be done as far away from humans and their constructs as possible, and that includes Dream. They go their separate ways; by which I mean Nightmare warns Dream not to follow him or else. Devastated, Dream lets him go. He tells himself to be content with the knowledge that at least his brother is free. They both are. He has to be happy with that...

He is left alone until the day he meets Ink and Blue.

#sorry for the wait i rewrote this A LOT #but what does NM after that? you ask. uhh tune in next week #there is another way this couldve gone but i didnt see it until just now. im stupid. i blame my new medication #automon!tale #robot!au #robot au #dream sans #nightmare sans #utmv au #underverse au #orbital chatter #long post

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sailorblossoms · 1 year

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When Agatha says “I used to think I was just holding back my love so I wouldn’t get hurt when something inevitably happens to Simon” is the same damn thing as Simon’s “I put Agatha dead last in a list of things I like and miss about Watford, telling myself is me saving the best for last” … both notice something is wrong, that they don’t feel the way they should about each other… but both come up with excuses to avoid further processing. They show you how they both would call it a day with those excuses, even though it hints at but doesn’t fully arrive at “the truth” of their feelings

Agatha notes (finally) that she loves Simon, but not in the way she should. She doesn’t love him romantically. Simon goes “my gf should be higher than Penny, who’s no.2, only after my favorite food ever,” contradicting his “best for last” excuse, which is also not how ranking works, if he wants to rank, and questions whether he missed her at all. Easy to see him just assuming he missed her before questioning even though he didn’t (he doesn’t think about her).

(I once read someone in an old post-awtwb post about Label Discourse say something like “why be pissed that Simon isn’t bi. If you think Agatha is a lesbian then you gotta consider Simon is gay. They are mirrors, their journey is the same” and I remember it when I make connections like this between them because… yeah. They are the same.)

I could be forgetting something, but it’s interesting that unlike Agatha, Simon doesn’t think he’s in love with Agatha. He thinks he must want her (giving an example that contradicts it: he wants to be her/like her) but not that he’s in love with her. When he says “I love you” his thinking mirrors battle strategies, like he’s trying to win or defeat an enemy; he doesn’t try to delude himself into supporting his words in his head. It would make sense: Agatha has a family and friends outside of Watford. She would have a better grasp of what love is, even if she too is confused. Simon doesn’t know. It would be a create a contrast too, because when he’s with Baz, Simon doesn’t say he loves him until awtwb, but he thinks it all the time. His head is full of thoughts that are indicative of him being in love, including him outright thinking “I love him so much” and “I have never loved anyone like this” (and later “I know now that he’s the love of my life”)

#snowbaz #simon snow #agatha wellbelove #baz pitch #simon snow trilogy #carry on #baz grimm pitch #baz x simon #awtwb #wayward son

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mk-writes-stuff · 3 months

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The Pirates’ Roost

The world of Ixalan is one sundered by empires - the fervent vampiric evangels of Atla Torrezon on one continent, and the dinosaur-riding Sun Empire on the other. Between the looming empires lies the Stormwreck Sea, a vast ocean speckled with islands, and the last bastion of the free peoples of Ixalan - now condensed into a loose confederacy of islanders and pirates.

The life of a pirate is none too easy, and you’d be hard-pressed to find one who doesn’t know that well. Merry, an idealistic plaything of a cruel captain, knows all too well the hardships of the pirates’ life - but when a beautiful stranger offers him a chance to change everything, he can’t help but seize it. Malcolm, an escaped siren slave, remembers the cruelty and abuse he’s been shown in painful measure, but he defends his freedom with clever magics and the passionate defense of those who need it. Tatum, an abused tidemage bound to a violent woman who holds their life in her hands, clings to the hope of one day finding freedom - and to the knowledge that the cruelty they escaped was worse.

The high seas are not a kind place for these three, nor for any of the others they meet, but there is safety in numbers, and in the fragile loyalty of a crew. Though countless trials - from vengeful captains to vampiric crusaders to creeping illnesses - threaten to tear them apart, the crew must cling to each other. In the end, all they have is each other - but that might just be enough.

Welcome to the Pirates’ Roost! The Pirates’ Roost is a Magic: the Gathering fanfiction with its own timeline, additional lore, and dozens of new characters - and you don’t need to know anything about Magic to enjoy it! It’s constructed from the ground up assuming you’re brand-new to the world and its lore is entirely self-contained. If you like gay pirates, magical adventures, and complex, emotional stories, I’m confident you’ll like it :)

The Pirates’ Roost also isn’t a novel. It’s a collection of short stories tied together by an overall arc timeline, accompanied by lore articles for additional worldbuilding detail. You don’t need to read the articles to understand the shorts, but, if you’re interested in the lore, they provide a deeper dive that doesn’t fit in the short stories. It’s an ongoing project, so you’ll notice additional shorts go up from time to time as I get time and inspiration to add them.

The Pirates’ Roost contains themes of freedom and identity, finding yourself in a world of contradicting opinions, the power of friendship and love (both romantic and not), and freedom from abuse. Please note that it does contain depictions of abuse (physical, emotional, financial, and sexual), graphic depictions of violence, injury, and death, severe illness, species discrimination, and small amounts of racism and homophobia/transphobia. Some of the shorts are not appropriate for people under 18. All shirts and articles are appropriately labeled and content warmed within the archive. Please feel free to contact me or ask anonymously if you’d like any more information on the content warnings or specific warnings.

The worldbuilding wiki can be found here and the story archive can be found here.

Feel free to ask me any questions you might have about the series! My asks and DMs are open, and I love talking about it :)

#writeblr #wip intro #the pirates’ roost

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twinsoftriumph · 11 months

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Do you have any hc for the twins ? Regular or angst ones ?

oh man yes ABSOLUTELY. before i go on though a few Disclaimers. some of these have been alluded to in asks before so there might be a bit of repetition in that regard. and also some will be theory related and moreso going off the assumption that certain extra material is not necessarily Canon in game. also i go into more Individual headcanons later in the post. i won't go into EVERYTHING but this gets long regardless. headcanons below the cut!

concept art related stuff

i've probably brought this up at least 3 other times but it drives me a little crazy that in the concept art timeline, the TWINS are the ones present at the king's coronation ceremony. this pic sucks but it's the only one

this is the first thing that made me believe the twins would have sided with the king in the whole dark stone/light creature conflict

concept art says "The Twins used to lead ceremonial spectacle that honored the King's victories in the Dark Stone Era" which is self explanatory

it ALSO says "Amphitheater was original site of King's coronation" as well as stuff about being free from fire worship and using dark stone for defense.

another reason is valley itself being a city of entertainment even before we got dreams and performance. i'm not saying this was All there was to valley as it seems genuinely culturally rich, but it gives a very Bread And Circuses vibe (superficial distractions from serious problems)

not to mention valley having darkstone contraptions Everywhere.

and who better to lead this than two energetic entertaining athletes?

since they were labeled the "priestess" ancestor in concept art, i think that could very much relate back to the king coronation ceremony. i can see them holding religious ceremonies in the fire era or very important kingdom-wide events (and i'd go as far as to say the king's coronation is religious in its own way due to the godlike powers granted by darkstone)

but on a less dramatic note, i also like to imagine it meant they were in touch with the emotions of their people in valley, offering advice and listening to their troubles Like a priestess would

more personal hc stuff

of course i think there is a genuine significant degree of sibling rivalry, but i ALSO think they play it up for the entertainment aspect. everything in the public eye is a big performance to them

the Sibling Rivalry is a little more complicated than that though due to my belief that they split into two upon falling to the sky kingdom and at times have such insane synergy that you'd think they're the same person because in a way. they Are (i talked about this in an in-character ask once)

but anyway i think they are very smart and aware of how they present themselves to other people and of their influence

they know how to get people energized/riled up regardless of whether they're the ones competing or not. GREAT commentators who can project their voice and capture everyone's attention with incredible persuasion and dynamism

do i think they flirt with the crowd? yes.

due to them representing young adulthood, i think they have a lot of internal contradictions and conflicts that they have a hard time working through

they can absolutely be arrogant and Not in a fun way. they want to feel justified in their convictions especially when it comes to siding with the king so strongly. so basically they doubt themselves but if you doubt them you'll probably just piss them off

they feel their emotions strongly but also have an incredibly logical aspect to their emotions and will get irritated at themselves for "irrational" emotions

they care A Lot to the point of trying to distance and distract themselves from caring, especially when shit is going down in the dark stone era

they love the attention but very much value their time out of the spotlight and even away from each other.

i like imagining that valley has Fights For Entertainment (not like any sort of gladiator to-the-death thing). they'll fight each other once in a while for a crowd but their sparring in private is very different

i think they have petty squabbles over small things but private sparring is letting off steam and being open to genuine criticism. by which i mean they are there to stay sharp and help each other by pointing out weaknesses

there's no aspect of entertaining an audience but it still flows like a dance. it is, however, more... ruthless? no intentionally slipping up for drama or dragging things out or interacting with the crowd

the nicks/cracks in their masks are from each other. i also did an in-character ask for this (i hate how it turned out lmao) but i think the idea i prefer now is that they had an Incredibly rocky time orienting themselves as a split star and dealing with their identity. i dunno maybe they tried to kill each other at one point. just sibling things

at the end of the day they are ride or die

they have adhd. To Me. (<- has adhd)

individual headcanons

they have similarly androgynous voices but there are some distinctions which i am Not sure how to describe. i imagine sah to have a clearer voice that sounds more playful/teasing with a bit of an Edge. for mekh i imagine a more theatrical, regal quality with maybe a sort of... smoothness to it? (this part is especially influenced by how they carry themselves in their cutscene)

sah tends to skirt around what they mean, mekh is more blunt

mekh is slightly taller. don't bring this fact up around the twins

when it comes to theatrical productions, i think it's funny to imagine sah being invested in like. the romance and comedy like Oh my god they were roommates and for mekh to be like YEAHH RIP EACH OTHER'S HEADS OFF and very into the drama

sah roasts a mean dark crab

mekh goes to the counter and says They asked for no pickles (yes i already drew this yes im saying it again)

with other elders

i will quickly reiterate and elaborate on some stuff i've stated before

daleth: noble and gentle, always seems to understand the bigger picture. the twins clashed a lot with them in the dark stone era and treated them rather flippantly, which they regret later on as daleth gave them very important guidance when they were trying to figure out their identity. daleth eventually reached a point where they felt the twins were too out of reach amidst their glory, and interactions were resigned on daleth's part and curt on the twins'

ayin: always hopeful and kind towards the twins, but ultimately they could not truly understand each other. ayin wished to be closer to them and also helped them in designing the valley's architecture. again, with how close ayin was to the light creatures, the twins became rather standoffish and especially defensive in believing dark stone was absolutely necessary to the livelihood of their realm

teth: someone they could connect with emotionally. they had a quiet understanding of each other's feelings of self-contradiction, and teth was not one to demand conversation or vulnerability. teth was, however, someone who would not back down from an argument, so they were more prone to Heated Verbal Disagreements even if they were relatively friendlier. neither are sure they can trust the other's impulses

tsadi: trained with the twins and became protective over them at some point, maintaining a friendly and mutual relationship a decent way into the dark stone era. both feel a great deal of loyalty towards the king, believing themselves to be standing for the good of the ancestors. things eventually sour between them as conditions in now-wasteland degrade, but tsadi blames themself far more for everything that happened than literally any of the elders

lamed: very mixed feelings. lamed recognizes their sheer influence and skill but still finds them to be too impulsive. the twins really are not that shallow or oblivious to lamed's opinions, but lamed is the Genius of geniuses and can come off as condescending or above-it-all even without intending to. stiff in the face of lamed's occasional sentimentality

ok im just gonna. stop myself here because i think my brain is melting from Samekh Thoughts but um. if you made it this far congrats! i hope this was enjoyable to read!

#ask #this is.... so long. oops #i know i didnt go that much into them as individuals but i just have So much to say about them in relation to others #headcanons #sol talks #ooc #thatskygame #sky cotl #sky: children of the light #valley elders #samekh

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thomine · 3 months

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This is my five billionth time trying to come up with something, so let’s go. Thank you! <3

I’d consider myself an ambivert that primarily prefers being alone to indulge myself in my hobbies, but also hates being lonely. While I wouldn’t consider myself sociable, I’m a friendly person. I can easily chat with most people. I love learning about people and hearing what they like to talk about. But my natural inclination is to cling to my alone time.

I am a very analytical person at heart. I like studying things to know why and how they work. This applies very much so to people. Because of this, I tend to be known as a smart person. At work, I am fast and accurate. I understand how my duties and others work in the big picture. I’m quick to notice when things are wrong and can point out where the error lies. I have a reputation for being a quick and reliable helper.

I’m generally known as a logical person. While I do have a temperament, I’m not seen as emotional. I make decisions with a level head. I’m not weak either. I love debates and arguments. I enjoy raising my voice. I do not hesitate to stand my ground if need be. If I get mad at someone, it’s typically because they’re contradicting themselves or saying something that makes no sense.

That being said, I’m lacking in many ways too. I’ve been told many times that I am a mean person. Apparently my way of speaking makes some feel like they’re being humiliated or mocked. I lack sympathy. I’m too outspoken. I serve primarily my own motives, not others. I’m stubborn, a know-it-all, selfish, etc etc etc.

My biggest insecurity is being misunderstood. I have a hard time verbalizing my feelings/opinions and conveying my intent which has gotten me in a lot of trouble in the past. That being said, what bothers me isn’t being seen as a good and kind person, but simply as being perceived inaccurately. I want to be understood as I am without changing myself to be more palatable to others. I may be selfish and unsympathetic, but I’m more than that.

So who would you pair me with? 👀 @paimonial-rage

this is a gift.

if you would like one of your own, please read my post here that lists what i'm willing to do and what to expect for a non-gift.

i wanted to pair you up with zhongli, ngl. but anyways, picture this:

you're in a debate with someone, temper agitated and argument points hot enough to dissolve your opponent's ego in the akademiya building. such a sight is common in the school, so you don't bother with the stares and looks knowing they'll treat you like background noise eventually. you raise your voice, disturbing those in the vicinity, but your adversary is literally covering their ears to combat your logical brilliance. it isn't long till they declare a stalemate. when you and your opposer part ways, you want to go home quickly but someone taps you on your shoulder...

it's tighnari. maybe you briefly recognize him considering his reputation in the academia and among the forest watchers. maybe you don't, but that doesn't bother him. reputation is just the backdrop of a person, not the person itself.

although... tighnari has heard of you. as you said, you're known as an analytical person, someone smart. he has a penchant for such people, and bonus if they can speak their minds. you're efficient, quick, reliable, which is everything tighnari wished he had in his colleagues. in some sense, perhaps he already has a small admiration for what he heard about you, but he's wary to place labels on these feelings. he doesn't know if you have a favorite color. he doesn't know if you like mushrooms. small steps, it's what he believes in, so when he sees the chance to approach you, he takes it without hesitation.

your debate intrigues him, and he has a few questions. he doesn’t mind talking to you there and then, but he has something to rush for in a few minutes. exchanging addresses to mail each other letters is the ideal thing to do.

you're not a sociable person, but that's not an issue for him. he's alright with initiating. anyways, he approached you, didn't he? after you exchange details, don't be surprised if you receive a letter here and there. at first, it's to expand on your argument, but casual topics are gradually discussed. and conversation, i believe, will flow smoothly with how you're open to hearing him ramble about his interest in plants and the ecosystems of the forest. it will be comfortable, and exciting in some ways, to have him write to you about the contraptions they use at the forest. from traps to capture berserk animals to their machinery of conveniences.

perhaps at some point in your brewing relationship, he invites you to the forest ranger's headquarters. tighnari's hands are shakier than expected, temperament more fragile than ice in the summer. he warns his colleagues with an infamous streak of trouble to not do anything silly, but of course something has to happen. a forest ranger carelessly discarded a trap they used in an old mission, causing the injuries of a wandering adventurer.

he's livid, marching silently towards the crime scene. he insisted that you stay at headquarters and wait for him, but somehow you find yourself tagging along. the guilty forest ranger is doing his best to deal with his mistakes, but his lack of knowledge on medicine makes it worse, causing tighnari's rage to grow.

it's not long till he raises his voice, eyes aimed at one person, tongue reprimanding left, right, front, center. the forest ranger shivers as if stripped naked in winter, and tighnari quickly deals with the adventurer's injuries.

he doesn't bring it up on the walk back or when he accompanies you out of the forest after a long day of planned (and unplanned) activities. instead, it's you. it's a levelheaded conversation, of tighnari's reaction, of the forest ranger's reactions, and ends with practical suggestions on how such situations can be minimized. he had people talk with him about his temper. they always say he acts out of line, but you don't, at least, not without understanding his point of view. you can see why he would be angry.

something clicks in him, and such a situation makes him crave your essence more.

hanging out with tighnari isn't tiring. he is a busy man so time is precious to him. he will plan and arrange days to do certain activities he thinks you might be keen on, but he'll also arrange times to do as each wishes, understanding the need to invest and indulge in one's passions. he doesn't need quick responses from his letters, and neither do you. it seems like he's an uptight person with all the planning, but he's actually extremely flexible, as required in the nature of his job.

of course, not everything is sunshine and rainbows. there are times your harsh and straightforward ways of speech has irked tighnari in his times of stress. he does not appreciate having your words slice through his already thinning patience, and arguments can erupt. it doesn't help that both of you are stubborn. but, he does not fault you for the way you speak or the sides you take. in fact, when others call you selfish, he calls you reasonable. the first rule he learned in biology is that fools don't look after their own needs, and this also applies to humans.

eventually, after having thought through thoroughly of each person's position, logic will prevail. consensus and compromises formed, and arguments quelled.

you say your biggest insecurity is being misunderstood. tighnari is not one to quickly place judgement on people. since the very beginning, he is aware that what he hears of someone is not everything. as researcher of plants and organisms, he knows how assumptions suffocate the growth of a plant. one needs to pause, to observe, to notice, which is exactly what he is. he relies on his senses and experience and less on prediction and universal rules. he is someone in tune with his surroundings; always open to be proved wrong. as a researcher, isn't it exciting when you're faced with the truth that you don't know everything? there is no worry of making yourself palatable for him. he appreciates you as you are, and will do the best within his knowledge and means to make sure he understands you as you.

i hope you liked my analysis.... i'm sorry if it's not a structured as what you did for me, or as interesting or accurate (idk??). i found it pretty hard to write without incorporating some sort of scenario or story so i hope that's alright!

#genshin impact x you #genshin reader insert #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact x y/n #ok but abt pairing you with z.hongli it was a joke and then i realized it's ACTUALLY ok. like not too bad of a pair #and at some point i wanted to go with a.lbedo but then at some point i figured this character was a better choice #i have some notes but like i dont know how to explain them at all #ALSO so sorry for the wait. i called myself slo for a reason.... sloth... and slow...... both are me..... orz #this was sent in like the start of the year. this took more than a month omg HAHAH #u know i did joke abt u and a.lhaitham being a good pair but after writing this #i don't think it's bc you make a good pair with a.lhaitham. i think you fit much better with this character #but. but. but. you are literally one of the few selected person i can see a.lhaitham possibly being interested in #and among the smallll list of characters i can see a.lhaitham with you'll be one of the top choices

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lesser-vissir · 1 year

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Can you explain how toxic masculinity isn't an thing? Even as a guy, I was taught it was thing and should unlearn it

Yeah I'd love to explain.

At the heart of the problem is the idea that there is a "good" masculinity and "bad" masculinity. Masculinity generally refers to the qualities or traits that make someone a man. Being masculine, fulfilling the expectations of one's gendered role as a man, is seen as a good thing. Masculinity itself then must be good. What they does that make toxic masculinity? Bad masculinity.

The way modern feminists decide if something is in the good masculinity category or the bad one is usually by seeing whether the trait causes harm, either to society or to men. Some examples of the former are aggression and misogyny. The latter refer to behaviors like emotional repression and self-relience. These are usually juxtaposed with "good" masculinity such as being the breadwinner of a family or working out.

However, this was not always the case. When the term originated in the 80's in a men's movement it meant almost the exact opposite and encouraged behaviors we would label as toxic today. They advocated that men return to their roots and unite with each other against women and feminism.

This contradiction between the two, and the source of the inherent subjectivity is in the very idea of trying to assign morality to masculinity. Masculinity is a social construct designed with the purpose of having someone prove that they are a man, and thus deserve access to the privilege that comes with that. It also serves as a way to reinforce that privilege and disenfranchise women.

Men are misogynistic and aggressive, because it directly benefits them. The more masculine someone is, the more society forgives them for violence against the other, and rewards them with the servitude of women. Men's violence, especially white men's violence, is key to the upholding of most structures of oppression in society. Without violence and misogyny, masculinity could not exist, because the social construct of men, and thus their superiority over women, would disappear.

Even the behaviors like emotional repression serve men far more than it hurts them. Purging activities and behaviors that are seen as feminine allows men to more thoroughly prove their masculinity, and most importantly, disprove claims from other men that they aren't masculine enough. It also allows them to claim dominance over men that don't hold themself to this standard and allow themselves to be feminine. This usually manifests as homophobia, transphobia, an transmisogyny.

Masculinity itself is the problem, and there is no way to engage in masculinity in a "healthy" way. So called "toxic masculinity" is simply masculinity working as designed.

#let me know if any of this was too rambly #I try my best but I sometimes have a hard time putting thoughts to words in a way that expresses them right

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