there's this particular phenomenon that occurs when you're a self-professed deangirl, in which you come to the show and whatever your reasons may be, you fall -- 15 minutes into the pilot -- for dean. he resonates with you. there's something about him that gets into the cracks of you and digs in, grit against your soft spots, and you get it. maybe it's a physical thing, maybe it's a cosmic thing, maybe there's just something in him that you see and go, "oh. you, too? huh; me, too." in a like-attracts-like, magnet-pull kind'a way.
so you're a deangirl, and you know you're a deangirl; you're down in the trenches slogging through 300+ episodes and 20 years of posts and fic and meta, and something starts to happen. it's slow at first; asymptomatic to the point you won't even notice it right away. but one day you'll be scrolling on tumblr and you'll see something -- a post, a gif-set, whatever -- of sam, and you'll know. you'll feel it. the swoopy, gut-tied, so damn fond feeling under your ribcage that makes you go, "oh. oh, shit. so that's what that's like." because, congratulations; you did it. you've consumed enough of How Dean Loves Sam in all his myriad and sundry ways that you've come to love him, too, even if it's just a little bit.
I don't understand people who say they love dean but can't stand sam, I really don't. haven't you figured it out by now? there is no loving dean without also loving sam. he's too big a part of dean to cut away and still have anything left that even remotely resembles "dean". (and I think the canon supports me on this one.)
I don't know how to tell you that you should care about other people.
I keep reflecting to determine if there's something more within me that's causing me to still feel so incredibly sick by it all. Really trying to expose the raw roots of the feeling to see if it stems from some kind of selfishness. And I suppose it does. But to reduce it to just that would also be lying, because it's a combination of poisons down in that soil. It's betrayal and a feeling of isolation amongst a group I thought I once knew, and then that selfish and bitter root grows in like a weed. I can only quietly observe to myself: "ah. this is where the radicalization and rampant nationalism come from. this is why I see it flowering in my family."
It's because I feel my trust breaking all over again each time I forget about it and try to go on with my business. I remember that I still can't mourn publicly without someone educating me on why obviously if I'm mourning, I must have Insert Political Alignment Here. I remember the utter silence and the downright celebration of more civilian deaths because "oh, fuckin Yaya or whatever deserved it after what Israel does."
For the record, Yaya-Or-Whatever didn't deserve it, and I still remember the lead dropping into my stomach upon hearing that from a friend. No one deserves it. No one ever deserves it.
I don't know how to tell you that you should care about other people.
Maybe that's a quote leftists recognize, but I realize now that few of them actually stick to it across the board. And I'm admittedly selfish, because I hoped that leftists could at least have a moment to care about my people suffering too before getting back to helping the people who currently need the most help. But instead we got "Yaya-Or-Whatever Deserved It." And I've been laying here for months watching everyone on the left just go back to the usual armchair activism as if they didn't just fucking say that, and when I do bring it up, suddenly I'm the problem for pointing out that it was fucked up.
You won't erase it, fyi. We saw you say it. Some of you said it with your full fucking chest. You were callous and let the antisemites into the bar by openly celebrating Jewish death. Then you pretended we were talking about Palestine when we pointed out your antisemitic actions. You know that's not what we were even pointing to as an example. But it's very convenient for you to pretend we don't know the difference, isn't it?
I don't know. It's just a reminder that most of you are actually all talk and virtue signals. There's no actual substance behind your ideals, you're just adhering to the party line, same as conservatives do. I guess I was naive to think otherwise. It's disingenuous for you to wonder why people leave the leftist movement as a whole and "suddenly" flip sides. You know why, and it's reasons like this - you're just covering it up and pretending it's a totally different, more convenient reason.
Tldr; you're hypocrite ass leftists and fuck you. You should be ashamed of how you acted.
yay! I drew these quite literally three years ago. dragonheart!milo and raihan! a knight on a doomed dragon hunt being lifted out of his station by a small village medicine man. together they become magic lawyers and overthrow the government
the main details in these do survive into the iterations I’ve drawn (instead of these actual designs I spent time to make el oh el): the “leaf” diamond quilt/gambeson and the plaited coattail for milo, the “atypical” weapons, long coat, and large number of scattered fake gold trims and accessories for raihan. I think I lost raihan the hat and added a cape for milo further down the line because like this their general silhouettes are too similar for my liking lol
Up next! This came highly recommended by many friends (and also the internet at large when I asked for SFF revenge recs, so thanks!), and I have Tracked Down The Original Covers, so I'm ready to go.
Parmageddon Edition
Some things, they just give you the ick:
Like chicken not cooked makes you sick,
Or protesting too much
Theories no one brought up?
And talking to fans like a dick.
The Dracula men: You’ve done your work Mina but now it’s time for us men to do the rest and for you to leave the plot relevancy so you will not go into womanly hysterics
Mina, who has compiled together the entire record of Dracula up to now, has lost her dearest friend and had to take care of her husband going through anxiety and shock: okay…
Dracula watching from the sideline: Wow that’s super fucked don’t worry I’ll keep you in the plot ;)
When I go to Melanie Martinez's Trilogy Tour I should just go dressed as Charlotte Pudding and yell the songs at the top of my lungs because I think both of us deserve it