#I hate it because it makes me feel *BIG* feelings but I Don't Have The Words For Them

[aperrywilliams]

That Wasn't Fake (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)

------------------ 

Author Masterlist

------------------

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader.

Request: Can you write a Spencer fic where the reader is kind of quiet and shy when she begins working at the BAU, and Spencer has a crush on her, and then they have a case, and she has to like to seduce the unsub lowkey and everyone kind of like...how is she going to do this shes not very outgoing but when she does shes really good at it, and everyone is surprised and impressed.

Summary:  You're shy and reserved. Spencer has a crush on you, and unbeknown to him, you have a crush on him. Maybe the cat can get out of the bag when you have to step aside of your comfort zone to catch an elusive unsub.

Word Count: 4.2k (no self control here)

Warnings: Words like 'fuck' and 'bitch'. A rant about self-doubt. Typical CM stuff: unsubs, killings, etc.

A/N: Another request I loved! It should have been a little shorter, but I'm having a hard time getting to the point these days. Please keep sending requests!

---------------

Spencer knows it is inappropriate, but he can't help it. You're coworkers, and that itself sets a boundary, so he shouldn't be thinking of trespassing.

But the crush he has on you seems to grow every day.

He doesn't know if it is your beautiful smile, the kindness you show in everything you do, or the enthusiasm you put into every task you are committed to. Since the moment he saw you pass the bullpen glass doors, Spencer knew he was damned.

From that moment, Spencer knew he wanted to know you and learn everything about you. About what you liked, what you hated, and what your fears and dreams were. Everything.

But not much after that revelation in his mind, he understood it wasn't going to be easy to get to you.

You were extremely shy and reserved.

In fact, your first interaction - when Emily introduced you both - consisted of a wave of your hand and a timid 'nice to meet you.'

He thought as time went by, you would loosen and become less bashful and quiet. And in part, he was right. As the months passed, you began to feel more comfortable within the team. You laughed at Luke's jokes, you commented on Rossi's stories, and you could even - when the stars aligned - crack a joke yourself to Tara or Matt.

But beyond that, no one knew much about your life outside of the BAU, unlike JJ, who always talks about her kids and her husband, or Matt, who talks about his kids, too. Or Tara, who recounts her failed dates. Or the same Luke who always shows photos of Roxy.

You, on the other hand, seemed to be an enigma. But Spencer Reid loved decoding enigmas.

At first, he turned his interest in you out of mere scientific curiosity. However, internally, he knew it wasn't just that.

It started with small random questions about the times you worked together: Is this coffee okay? What was the last book you read? Do you think we should buy some donuts for the team?

If you were honest, it picked your interest why, from all people, Dr. Spencer Reid was so adamant in making conversation with you.

From what you knew and from what the team said, Spencer was not a person very interested in things other than work or books. But suddenly, out of nowhere, he asked you what the last movie you saw was or something like that.

You always answered his questions; however, you would have liked to be much more talkative and engage in longer conversations, but your nature stopped you.

'What if I don't have anything more interesting for him to say?'

'Does he just talk to me because he feels sorry for me?'

And that was the big issue: you have never had problems with the way you live your life. You're pretty satisfied with what you do in your job and out of it, too. But you have always thought you are too 'simple' to entertain people's interest.

And to be honest, being surrounded by people with so much experience and big things happening in their lives still intimidates you a bit. So, you usually refrain from talking too much about yourself or anything for that matter.

But with Spencer, things are a bit different. He's always checking on you but respects your boundaries. He has learned that sometimes you just don't want to talk, and he doesn't push.

Despite his interest beyond the professional, Spencer would never do anything to make you uncomfortable. Being able to share time with you will have to be enough for him.

In a way, he has become your protector. He is your backup during interrogations or in situations where you can feel awkward, like the times when some police officers tried to flirt with you and got too close. Sure, you know how to turn them down, but sometimes guys don't get the memo and keep pushing. You're too shy to yell or be aggressive about it.

The team also understands the way you are, and they know it does not make you any less professional. However, they have always been careful not to take you too much out of your comfort zone.

---------------

A whole two weeks and five murders later, the team is stuck trying to catch an unsub who has preferences for killing women after club nights. The profile says he is not interested in just any woman but in those between 25-30 years old who like to flirt with several men in the clubs. But it is not just any type of flirting; it is the type that is initiated and dominated by them. In short, he likes to kill women who are the opposite of submissive. He sees them as predators on a hunting ground.

Another finding in victimology is that the women he kills, in addition to having a specific age range, have very similar physical characteristics. And similar to you.

All his victims have your build, eye color, hair color, and height. It gets to be creepy to a certain point. And it's something difficult to ignore.

Bouncing information and possible strategies, the team agrees they need to be proactive to get him to show up before another killing happens.

"Okay, what options do we have?" Emily asks.

"The witnesses haven't gotten us anywhere," Luke complains.

"Although we've narrowed down his hunting grounds," Rossi shrugs.

"Yeah, we know the clubs where he likes to hunt," JJ backs Rossi.

"But although the profile, we have yet to learn about what to look for there. I mean, we know what the unsub wants, but not how he looks like." This time, it's Tara who speaks.

You've rarely seen Emily bite her tongue when she wants to say something, but it's clear that she has something on her mind, and she doesn't know how to put it, or maybe the problem is something else. You look at her out of the corner of your eye, and she looks back at you; what do those eyes say? They look like they're even apologetic.

It's a fraction of the time before she comes back to behave like herself.

"We need to lurk him. It's the only way," she says. And everyone's eyes - yours included - are on her immediately.

"Lurk him?" Matt repeats.

"Yes. And all we know who should be the one going undercover to do that," Emily adds, looking at you this time.

That's it—the elephant in the room.

Of course, you're the ideal candidate. Well, you're perfect in the physical aspect because if we talk about the victim's personality and yours...

There's silence in the room, and you can feel like the team's eyes are all on you.

Do they expect you to say no? To refuse? From your perspective, it's not a question; it's more like the option you all have to catch the guy.

"It's true (Y/N) would be the closest to the unsub type, but there are a lot of things to take into account," Matt says. And you know perfectly well what's behind his words, even if he doesn't say it directly.

And that's okay; it's perfectly plausible they have their doubts. It is not enough to look like the victims for the operation to work.

But if there is one thing you are sure of, it's that you will always give your all to your job, even if that means becoming a completely different person.

"I can do it," you mumbled so quietly that if the AC weren't in the lower setting, people wouldn't have heard you.

"But (Y/N), you know about this guy. It's dangerous," Matt points, a frown on his face.

"Not to mention he likes rough interactions," Luke adds.

"You don't have to do it if you feel uncomfortable." This time, it is JJ who voices her opinion. And you know, that's the closest reason to the team's main concern.

And the fact you can blow up the entire plan.

Spencer stays in silence. Internally he's freaking out thinking of you having to lurk on the unsub, but he knows you are a professional. And he feels a kind of deja vu.

When he was younger, the team would have said the same about him doing something like that. Spencer knows what it's like when people baby you, making you feel insecure. Sure, he hasn't had to worry about that anymore. Spencer is almost forty, and no one would dare to tell him he can't do something. Not after all the things he has been through.

"JJ is right, Bella. You don't have to do it. We can think of another way," Rossi backs JJ.

That's when Spencer notices the slight frown on your face. It's invisible to everyone but him. He knows it's there.

You stay collected, even when everyone on the team has something to say about how bad the idea of you going undercover to lurk the unsub is.

Emily is who stops everyone's rant.

"Guys, hey. If (Y/N) is telling us she can do it, we're going to do it. Of course, we'll be there to back up her and catch this unsub."

And this is how the discussion is settled.

Emily sends everyone out with a task to prepare for the night. Today is Friday, and the unsub will surely be stalking some new victim. The chances are high.

When it's just you and Spencer in the room, he still looks at you in silence.

"Do you also think I'll not be able to pull off this mission and I'm going to ruin everything?"

You downcast your gaze, exhaling deeply.

"No. I don't think that," Spencer clarifies, and you raise your gaze to meet his eyes. "You are more than capable, (Y/N). The team is worried because you'll be out of your comfort zone in a dangerous situation."

"The team? Not you?" You narrow your eyes to him.

You try not to sound accusatory, but if you're as scared as everyone, you also are fed up with the other's doubts.

Spencer closes the distance between you both but doesn't invade your personal space.

"Of course, I'm worried too! I don't want anything bad to happen to you. But I trust you and your judgment."

Your heart does flip-flops, and you're not sure if it's because Spencer is worried or because, despite that, he trusts you—or both.

"You do?" You ask, not so convinced.

Spencer nods and smiles at you.

"And we'll be there when you catch the guy."

If that is the reassurance you need, you don't mention it. Instead, you grin at Spencer as a promise you'll do your job just how you are supposed to.

---------------

You insist on getting ready in your hotel room. The only assistant you ask for is Emily. She was the one who trusted you first in this, so you'll take every piece of advice she can give you before this night starts.

Everyone has a role in the plan.

Rossi will be the chauffeur who will drive you to the club.

Luke and Spencer would be in the club, mingling with the patrons. JJ, Matt, and Emily would be in the van monitoring the whole situation with cameras and earpieces. Rossi would keep his facade as a driver so he could be at one of the entrances. Tara would be at the club, too, eyeing nothing suspicious going on in the bar because there is a chance the unsub is getting help from the bartender.

When you are in front of the mirror applying the last touch of makeup, Emily is looking at you with a stare you can't decipher.

"What?" you ask, and Emily chuckles.

"Please, don't take this in a bad way, but I never thought I would live the day of seeing you using clothing like this. And Jesus, you look so hot!"

Your cheeks redens.

"It's a little bit odd coming from my boss, don't you think?" you muse, smoothing the fabric of your dress.

"Point taken," Emily raises her hands in defense. "Although I know someone who is going to run out of breath after seeing you."

You let out a scoff. It's not a surprise for you. The BAU girls - boss included - have been trying to set you up with Spencer since forever. You don't entertain the idea only because you don't think it's possible and not because you don't like the concept.

"Come on, don't say that. You are not helping to my nerves."

"Sorry, I'll shut up. We should go, though," Emily says, checking her watch.

One of the SUVs drives you to the van parking point. You needed to review the operation details.

At the back of the van - or commander point - JJ, Luke, Tara, Rossi, Matt, and Spencer see you come up with Emily.

For the best US profilers, they're not doing a good job hiding that they are gawking at you. Surely, no one imagined seeing you in such a revealing outfit. Outfit that, without a doubt, suits you extremely well, highlighting all your body attributes.

Spencer feels like he died and was resurrected after seeing you.

"Okay, guys, we need to check the details again," Emily announces.

The plan is in motion, and everyone is in position.

As expected, you arrive with Rossi at the club, who opens the door for you and helps you descend from the car. Rossi gives you a reassuring smile before letting you go.

Like a switch, you are no longer the shy SSA (Y/L/N). Now you are the woman who is going to take what she wants and attract the unsub attention doing that.

Your walk is determined, and your eyes send out flames of confidence to those who look at you. The music is very loud, something that would usually bother you, but not now. This needs to feel like your environment. That's how you like it, you tell yourself.

Almost instantly, you start to attract the looks of men who are eager for a woman like you.

You exude determination, and you don't go unnoticed.

Walking into the club, you make brief eye contact with Luke, who is on the dance floor. You see Spencer perched in a booth, nursing a beer.

At the same time, Tara is stationed at the bar.

"Remember (Y/N); the unsub expects the woman to approach men. The flirt needs to come from you," Emily reminds you by the earpiece hidden in one of the earrings you're wearing.

"Show time," you mumble to yourself.

You walk seductively to the dance floor, where a young man is dancing with a blonde. You approach and whisper something in his ear. That makes the boy completely lose interest in the blonde and start dancing with you. You smile and cling to the man's body, who wastes no time and takes your hips as if they were his possessions.

That dance certainly has nothing innocent about it. You continue whispering things in the boy's ear, and he looks more and more excited. Once you consider it a reasonable amount of time to have attracted attention, you leave the boy alone and head to the bar. Just a few meters away from Tara, a suspicious man is staring at you. You see him out of the corner of your eye as you order a drink. When the bartender passes it to you, you make subtle eye contact with Tara, who nods, indicating that the drink is clean.

You look next to you and see another man not so subtly looking at you. You know the unsub's profile, and you can't be intimidated or dominated by another man. You are the one who calls the shots. Otherwise, this will not work.

Before the man makes his attempt to seduce you, you turn to him, and with a penetrating look and disdainful voice, you stop him.

"Sorry, honey. Don't waste your time. You're not my type," and with that, you leave to move to the opposite side of the club. The guy huffs, and you're almost sure hearing him call you 'bitch' under his breath.

JJ, who's following the cameras inside the club, sees someone who looks suspect.

"Hey, this guy has been peeking at (Y/N) the entire time, and look, he clenched his fists when (Y/N) turned down that guy at the bar."

Emily confirms JJ's observation before giving you the next instructions.

"(Y/N), you're doing great. We have a possible target. So we need to raise the bet."

You know exactly what Emily means. You both had talked about the strategy to follow, having more details about what you should do than the rest of the team.

Matt and JJ look confused at each other but say nothing.

Your next step is to find another dude to seduce before delivering the coup de grace.

Luke and Spencer keep an eye on you. And while Luke is pleasantly surprised by your audacity, Spencer can't help but feel his stomach tighten. He tells himself it's because he is afraid something bad could happen to you, but inside of him, it's that and the fact of seeing you flirt with other men.

Just like you did with the guy on the dance floor, you attract the attention of another man; this time, you take his hand and pull him to the dance floor.

JJ and Matt's jaws drop to the floor. If Tara, Luke, and Spencer could do the same without giving themselves away, they would have done it, too.

As if it were your second nature, you laugh and move to the music. The man seems to enjoy the moment so much that he takes a bold step by leaning in to kiss you. You let him get closer until his lips are almost on yours. But before touching each other, you pull back with a malicious smile.

"Naughty boy. I'm who says if you can kiss or no," you pout, faking disappointment. Dizzed, the guy cocks his head and sees you walk away.

Matt chirps now. "It's him. Look boss," he tells Prentiss, pointing to the same guy JJ saw before.

There is no longer any doubt that it is him. Now you just have to catch him red-handed.

"(Y/N), we got him. It's time for the last play," Emily tells you.

With Emily's instruction, you go to the bar for another drink before heading over to where Spencer is sitting.

He tries to play it off, but he has no idea why you're approaching him.

"Is this seat taken, handsome?" You ask, with your drink in hand.

"N- no. Please," Spencer gestures to the booth on his front, but you opt to perch to his side. Spencer thinks he never has been this close to you. He looks at your eyes, and it's like you are a totally different person. It's a little bit contradictory for him, to be honest. He already likes you just as you are, but this version of you? It's driving him insane.

Some resemblance of your true self looks with a kind of curiosity the nervousness on Spencer. You don't think much about it; you assume he's playing the nervous guy who is baffled by you.

The thing is, Spencer isn't playing. He's definitely baffled by you.

"Are you okay?" You ask him, masking your question with a seductive smile.

"Yeah. Are - are you?" Spencer stutters a bit—something that is perfect for the plan but embarrassing for him.

You get closer to him to speak in his ear.

"This was Emily's idea," you tell him before kissing his ear and gently biting his lobe.

Spencer's breath hitches in his throat, and he thinks he's going to pass out any second. You're not doing it better: your heart is also pumping hard from the adrenaline. Of course, you had imagined something like that with Spencer, but only in your erotic dreams. You wouldn't dare do this on any given day.

You keep teasing Spencer, who, despite the nervousness, tries to play along. If this is the closest he will ever have you, he wants to engrave this in his memory.

"Just a little push, (Y/N). We almost have him," Emily instructs by the earpiece.

You swallow as subtly as possible as you wrap your arm around Spencer's neck, pulling him closer to you.

It's only a second between that action and the fact that you're kissing Spencer like it's your last meal.

Spencer doesn't know how to respond, and you were counting on that; it was enough time for the unsub to notice that you were the one who chose her last prey.

When Spencer is about to reciprocate the kiss, you murmur a 'sorry' into his lips and quickly pull away, giving him a disdainful look—which you hope he understands is fake—before getting up and walking toward the back exit door.

As expected, the unsub follows you towards the back door, and while your back is turned, he believes he has the advantage to attack you. What he doesn't know is that Matt and Luke are ready to lunge at him the moment he tries to touch you.

Everything that happens after is too fast.

The unsub is detained and taken to a patrol car while the team gathers around you, congratulating you on the successful operation. They all apologize to you for their previous apprehensions. You tell them that you understand and that there is no need to apologize. And it's like the switch has been flipped again since you came out of the femme fatale role.

But something is wrong. Spencer is not in the group. You see him a little further away, near the exit door of the club. Emily notices the looks between you both, and she sends the team on different tasks to close the case, leaving you and Spencer there.

There's something in his eyes that you can't decipher. You think it's resentment for using him without warning him what you were going to do.

You shyly approach him.

"It's me again," you tell him, pulling a face. You don't know what to say to make the situation better. Spencer nods.

"Yeah. You did it great, by the way," he compliments you. But it doesn't feel good like Spencer's compliments usually do.

"Look, about the kiss back there-" you start. He needs an explanation as a bare minimum.

"I know. It was fake," Spencer cuts you off.

Those words shouldn't hurt you as they do now. But isn't that the most reasonable thing to believe? The you in the club weren't you, so all you did inside was pretend.

Everything except that kiss.

If it's true you couldn't enjoy it the way you would have liked, you will never forget his lips on yours.

A tense silence takes over the moment. This is not okay.

You can't afford to lie to one of the most important people in your life, even if telling the truth takes you out of your comfort zone.

What the hell! Tonight has already been a total of 180 from a usual day for you.

"It wasn't," you mumble, and you see his eyes flicking to yours in a second.

"What?" Spencer asks, narrowing his eyes at you.

"Everything was fake, but not the kiss," you say with a stadied voice this time.

Spencer's heart races again. If you say you didn't fake it, then what he felt on your part at that moment was real?

"It wasn't fake?" He asks for clarification. You nod.

A smirk forms on Spencer's lips, seeing your cheeks redden.

There you are. The girl he had fallen for in the past two years.

"Well, you know that I am a man of science, right?" he tells you, and you frown because you have no idea where this is going.

"I know," you say with some hesitation.

"And as a man of science, I need evidence of things, you know?"

Now, you are the one who smirks at him.

"Evidence, huh?"

"Yep," he says, emphasizing the 'p' and swaying his body on his feet. You hum.

"I believe I can provide the necessary evidence if you need them," you concede, and Spencer's eyes sparkle with excitement.

Now, he is the one who reaches out and cups your cheeks. Your breathing quickens, but that doesn't stop you from standing on your tiptoes and connecting your lips with his.

This time, there is no unsub, no curious eyes are looking at you, there is no rush, there is no femme fatale role, and above all, this is not fake; it's as real as the fact that your heart beats for him, and his for you.

------------------ 

Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger @khxna @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @dysphoricsanity @levi-of-starz @themoonchildwhofell @silver138 @lovelybaka @shinytinywhispers 

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x you #aperrywilliams #amanda perry williams

[kiefbowl]

listen to me, this is important. some of you are heterosexual and women and are likely very normal looking, but are convinced you're not attractive. and in some ways you are right, you are like a normal boring person, maybe with a couple odd qualities like a big forehead or snaggle tooth or something. you've probably been teased, perhaps bullied, been told you should "try harder" or are "ugly" or a number of other things that make it seem like you will just always be a normal, boring, ugly person.

okay and probably you will to some degree.

this post isn't about convincing you you're beautiful on the inside, whatever that's your journey I can't convince women who hate how they look not to hate themselves.

this post is warning you about the MEN who will grab hold of you, and try to make you feel lucky that they love you because you are so boring looking and normal and you're just a normal looking every-day person who was called ugly growing up. and they will take you on dates, and be nice enough, and move in with you, be polite to your parents, maybe even marry you. BE FOREWARENED: they are NOT nice!! When someone loves you, you are the sexiest hottest most awoooga person in the world to them. when grown ups love their partners, they want to eat them up slurp them down put their mouth all over everything and they will never ever ever make you feel lucky to have them, they will be like how how how do I have an angel living with me!!!!

YOU! CAN! ALWAYS! DO! BETTER! Do not let lame, boring, unmotivated, exhausting, unskilled, uninteresting, unsexy men catch a free ride on YOUR one wild and crazy life, because they sniffed out the opportunity to grind your self-confidence to dust by guessing that you, like most women, have some body image issues, so that they can guarantee you will be hard pressed to leave them when they "forget" yet again to do their laundry (can you do it?), or pick up their groceries (let's just get pizza), or plan the trip you've been begging them to do for you (I don't know how!). These men will be pleased to give you crumbs, and expect you to lap them up thankfully because you are soooo so so so quote unquote YOU GEE ELL WHY.

NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You do NOT have to be beautiful to be loved, and you are absolutely capable of not only find a better man, but thriving without any man!!! YES. YOU. ARE. You do not want to wake up, age 40 - and realize my god I've given this man 15 years of my life, and we haven't seen paris, and we haven't adopted dogs, and I haven't written my novel, and we don't have a retirement plan, and now my knees hurt too much and our mortgage is so expensive. You want to wake up tomorrow, 25 years old, and think "I have 55 more years to have earthshattering orgasms every day and do whatever the fuck I want, god be damned to hell" and then go do that at all possible costs. The perfect nose, chin, and eyebrow does not make your clit work any better.

Do you understand what I'm saying?? THE PERFECT NOSE, CHIN, ASS, BOOBS, WEIGHT, OUTFIT, NAILS, AND EYEBROWS DO NOT MAKE YOUR CLIT WORK ANY BETTER.

[gumified]

hate sex with toji fushiguro

content: fem!reader, mean!toji, big dick!toji, degradation, dirty talk, fingering, overstimulation

note: no clue why but tumblr hates me and won't let me add images so i don't have any dividers TT

//

arguments are annoying. arguments with toji, however, are more than annoying. they’re a living nightmare. the guy’s already an asshole and add the fact he has the ego the size of an elephant, he became unbearable. the two of you got into arguments often because you hate each other's guts and every single time he had to ensure that he was in the right and you weren’t. not to mention that the two of you were roommates and you were expected to go home everyday to face him.

the argument this time was stupid and dumb in every possible way. you were angry about him leaving his clothes everywhere and he got mad at you for being a ‘nagging witch’ as he called you. the shouting then started and you were sure the neighbours were very tired at the constant screaming that came from your apartment.

one minute you’re shouting at each other and the next you’re lunging at each other and ripping your clothes off. the intensity of the moment overtakes any sense of rationality. your lips collide with his and he hungrily mashes his face against yours. toji’s hands roughly rip your blouse apart, groaning when he catches sight of the red lacy bralette you have on. you push him against the wall, your lips never leaving his, and he responds with a ferocity that matches your own. his hands are everywhere, exploring every inch of your body, igniting a fire that consumes you both. toji’s fingers are tangled in your hair, pulling you closer as his mouth moves feverishly against yours. your own hands are not idle, tearing at his shirt, exposing the sculpted muscles beneath.

“like what you see, fushiguro?” 

“fucking love it.” he growls, tugging your jeans off and pushing you down on the couch. he lifts his shirt over his torso and you marvel at his muscular body. everything about him is so seductive and you feel your panties grow wet, sticking to your folds. his breath is hot against your neck as he trails rough kisses down to your collarbone, his teeth grazing your skin in a way that sends shivers down your spine. you gasp, your nails digging into his back, earning a low growl from him that reverberates through your entire body. “gonna fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk.”

you scoff as he climbs on top of you. “yeah right.”

“don’t believe me doll?” toji’s voice is deep and husky, each word dripping with lust. his fingers press to your core making you squirm. he knows exactly the right buttons to push to make you unravel into a pile of moans beneath him but you refuse to please him with your noises, keeping quiet. “why’re you keeping silent angel?”

you don’t answer and it angers him even more. toji shoves his fingers into you and you bite your lip hard. he smirks, thrusting his digits in and out of you, making it harder for you to keep everything in. your pussy’s growing wetter as the lewd sounds fill your ears and you lift your hips for him to reach deeper. each time he thrusts them in you feel more drawn into the pool of desire that he's creating, the one that sucks you in and never lets you go.

a blissful feeling shoots through your body and a moan finally slips past your lips when he curls his fingers. toji grins, satisfied with the way you wriggle around. he scissors you open, fingers stretching out your tight core and each time he does you squirm against his grasp.

"that's it." he says, kissing your neck. "that's it baby, moan for me doll, such a filthy slut, you’re dripping all over my fingers." he leaves marks and you feel him suck at your neck, lightly nipping the flesh. you're more than happy to let him and you lean your head back, giving him a bigger canvas to litter his dark purple paint. 

your orgasm is fast approaching and you can't say anything before his fingers are ripped away from you and he replaces it with his cock. toji slams down on you, the tip of his cock reaching your cervix and you scream. he’s so so big and you aren’t given any time to adjust to his sheer size as he starts fucking you with carnal desire. you let out a strangled sob, clawing at his back, nails digging into his taut muscles.

"f-fuck you." you pant, hands gripping his biceps to stop you from sliding up and down from the force of his thrusts. "you're an asshole fushiguro."

toji groans, sweat dripping down his forehead, continuing to pound into you. "and you're a brat."

curses leave both of your mouths, sometimes directed at each other or sometimes directed at the pleasure both of you are feeling. either way, you're feeling like you're riding a euphoric train straight to heaven, not that you'll ever tell toji that. his low grunts make you whine as you call his name repeatedly. his cock feels so good around you, throbbing around your walls as you suck him in. 

there's something about the way his hair falls into his eyes that makes your hands reach to knot them into his dark locks. toji hisses at the slight pain but he doesn't stop instead he goes faster. everything about toji fushiguro makes you go crazy and with his cock thrusting in you with no mercy, it only increases your frenzy.

"shit, hnghh, don't do that fushiguro." you moan when he hits a particular spot inside you which makes your body jolt. toji smirks and he positions his hips, slamming into the exact place again. he smiles innocently at you.

"what, this?”

"yes! o-oh my god…yes yes yes, toji r-right there!" you shout, feeling your whole body tingling with your release coming soon. "fuck!"

it comes so quickly and you feel yourself drowning in your orgasm, the way the feeling overtakes your body. there's a sharp sensation that slowly spreads across your body and you bask in the feeling of having your release. it doesn't last long because toji's still pounding into you, a low animalistic growl leaves his throat.

"who told you that you could cum?" you gulp, realising what you’ve just done. his eyes darken and he fucks you harder, hips snapping to yours. “fucking whore, you never listen do you? can’t ever be an obedient little girl f’me, fucking pain in the ass.”

your cum leaks out of you and his cock makes your pussy a mess. you're still super sensitive and at the rate that he's thrusting into you, you're going to cum again. toji moans as he pounds into you, throwing his head back and his hands squeeze your ass. you sob at the overstimulation, tears escaping your eyes as you whine and whimper under toji.

“‘m sorry, ‘m sorry toji- just felt so good, ‘m sorryyy.” your incessant babbles echo through your apartment as you feel your mind blank as his cock bullies into your pussy.

"yeah? you should be sorry slut, always fuckin’ nagging, need to fill you with my cum so you keep quiet." 

you whine feeling your body grow hotter under his touch. you feel yourself nearing your second orgasm and you know toji's close too by the way his thrusts are even quicker. a series of moans leave both of your lips and you feel his cock twitch inside of you before his load is dumped. warm cum spreads throughout your pussy, coating every inch of your gummy walls and you feel yourself overflow with cum. your orgasm wracks through your body too, this one more powerful than the other and you find yourself crying out his name, chanting it like a mantra.

the feeling's all too much and toji collapses into you making sure not to squeeze you too hard. you can feel every abdominal muscle through skin to skin contact. his breath fans across your neck, hot and ragged. you run your fingers through his hair, feeling the damp strands against your fingertips.

"you know what this means y/n?" you look at him confused and he smirks. "means i can finally fuck you in that bathroom."

#jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader #toji smut #toji fushiguro smut #toji x reader #toji fushiguro #toji x you #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #smut #toji x y/n #toji fushiguro x reader #toji fushiguro x you #jjk headcanons #jjk x you

[gayshadowgov]

Kit's Traybake Pancakes (cinnamon apple var.)

Love eating pancakes but hate making them? This traybake pancake recipe may be for you! Making these gives me enough pancake squares for 6 days (5 if you eat two on the day you make them). They reheat well, can either be eaten with or without maple syrup, and are very customizable! I recommend adding fruit and protein powder like I do in this recipe, making it a slightly healthier breakfast than just pure carbs.

Instructions under the cut!

Full disclosure, the base for this recipe was the mug pancake recipe from the youtuber Emma’s Goodies: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnuH1Yggnjw&pp=ygULbXVnIHBhbmNha2U%3D

I made this mug pancake for years (except with tripled portions because I was using a very big mug) and it was super delicious! However, for just one mug pancake, it was a bit of a production and didn’t feel super worth it. Thusly, I have adapted the recipe to be made in a 13”x9” baking tray, which makes a whole lot of breakfast. Be aware, it has a tendency to be a little dry, but everything I’ve read about making moister pancakes involves adding extra butter and this recipe already has a lot in it. (I need to experiment with using a mixture of vegetable oil and butter, I think)

Recipe (serving size: 2 squares):

Base Ingredients:

12 tbsp. butter (I use salted, if you don’t have salted butter, add a very small amount of kosher salt to your recipe)

9 tbsp. (1/2 cup+ 1 tbsp) granulated sugar

12 fl.oz. milk (I use skim, use whatever kind you like)

3 cups all-purpose flour

3 tsp. baking powder

Customizable Ingredients:

1 scoop protein powder (I use vanilla flavored whey)

1/4 cup of maple syrup (ideally not pancake syrup, they’re different)

2/3 apple (I use McIntosh or Honeycrisp)

Nutmeg, cinnamon, cardamom to taste, for sprinkling on top

Base Instructions:

Heat oven to 425°F, take out a 13”x9” nonstick baking pan and spray bottom and sides with cooking spray (yes theoretically I know you don’t need to spray a nonstick pan but better safe than sorry).

Put butter in a bowl and melt it in the microwave. I recommend microwaving for 40 seconds, two times (total of 1m20s)

Put butter in a stand mixer, preferably with the paddle attachment. While you heat the milk in the microwave* (20 seconds, twice, stir milk before heating again, I use a glass liquid measuring cup), add the granulated sugar to the mixer. Once the milk is heated, add it and use one of the lower settings on your mixer.

Add the flour and baking powder, mix again on low setting until it forms a batter (a small amount of lumps is okay from what I’ve heard, you don’t want to overmix).

*You can’t put cold milk into hot butter, it will form little clumps and be gross

Customizable Instructions:

Add one scoop of your preferred protein powder with a 1/4 cup of maple syrup. Mix on low setting until it’s mixed in.

Take your apple and a large, sharp knife (be careful) and cut the apple in half vertically. Then cut the apple into vertical wedges, avoiding the core. Use as much of it as you want, but I recommend using 4-5 apple sections (or do whatever you want lol I'm not a cop). Eat whatever segments you don’t intend to use for a lil snack.

Peel the apple wedges with a peeler (don't use the skin, you'll thank me later), then use knife again to slice the peeled wedges in half and then into small pieces.

Put apple chunks into mixer and mix until dispersed.

Baking Instructions:

Pour batter into greased baking tray, shake the pan until the batter is flattened and reaches all the corners (or use a spatula and spread it evenly by hand). Optional: Sprinkle the top with cinnamon, nutmeg, and cardamom according to your tastes. I tend to have a heavy hand even if I don’t mean to, but it still comes out very tasty! (and smells great while baking!)

When oven reaches temperature, put the pan in and cook for 20 mins. Know your oven and if it tends to be hotter or colder, adjust cook time as necessary.

When the timer goes off, test the center in several places with a toothpick. As long as it doesn’t come out goopy, you’re good! (crumbs on the toothpick is fine) I say test in several places because if you accidentally go through a piece of apple, your toothpick may come out slightly wet, but that doesn’t mean the pancakes aren’t done. If it's not done, cook in intervals of 5 minutes, testing when the timer goes off.

Take pan out, and use a butter knife or a pie serving spatula and poke around the edges of the pan to free the pancake traybake from the edges. Let cool for 10 minutes.

Cut into squares. I tend to cut 12 pieces, but you could go smaller or larger depending on how much you intend to eat at once.

Enjoy! I eat two squares at a time and it makes a good breakfast! For storing, put however much of it you can eat in 2-3 days in the fridge. Store the rest in the freezer.

For customizing, use whatever fruit, spices, syrups, and/or protein powders you want! Just be aware that more fruit in the batter means it may take longer to cook!

If you make them, either the same way I do or differently, let me know how they came out!

#pancakes #recipes #baking #pancake recipe #traybake #traybake recipe #breakfast #meal prep #breakfast meal prep #tasty #shoutout to my wife lunarchandelure for helping me convert measurements

[daenysx]

hi angel! what about reader is best friends with aegon and she likes him but modern! aemond likes her. aemond always comforts her when aegon chooses to blow off their hangouts and then she slowly falls for aemond 😇

hi lovely, thank you for requesting! i liked this so much, i hope you enjoy too. requests are open

modern!aemond targaryen x fem!reader, hurt/comfort ♡

aemond can't stand the wrinkle forming between your eyebrows whenever aegon disappoints you.

"sorry, aemond." you say, blushing hard on your cheeks. "i thought he'd be home, he didn't answer my texts."

his hands shake, he curls his fingers to relieve a bit of tension. "it's okay." he manages to say. "but i don't know where he is."

you look at your hands, biting your bottom lip like you do every time you are upset. aemond hates how he's unable to comfort you, how useless. you try to smile after a second, looking at him with big eyes as if you're trying to stop yourself from crying.

there's always a distance between you and aemond. "sorry for bothering you again." you say, giving him one of your easy smiles. "i'll just leave."

you take a step back. aemond would be damned if he let you go. "wait." he calls. "do you wanna come in?"

you look unsure. you probably think aemond only plays nice with you just because he feels guilty for his brother. the truth is far from it. aemond once saw you cry because of aegon, how your shoulders were shaking and your lips bitten raw. the image of your sad face haunts him, knowing how he'll never be the one you care about makes him wanna beat aegon. how dare he? who does he think he is? how can he have you as his best friend and not even bother to answer your texts when aemond is desperate for one smile from your lips?

"i took enough of your time." you say.

"no, i-" and now he can't even form a proper sentence. "please."

your eyes find his face. "you don't have to do it, aemond."

he doesn't know what you're talking about. "what?"

"you don't have to try to fix his mistakes." you say, somehow you look bolder and more upset, it shatters his heart.

"i'm not- i-"

"i appreciate the effort, i really do." you say. "you probably think how much of a fool i'm being by waiting for his text when he's out there hanging out with people i don't even know."

you stop, take a deep breath. that's when a teardrop rolls on your cheek. "i know it's stupid." you say. "i know he'll never look at me the way i look at him but i can't control how i feel. i- i just-"

your entire body is shaking as you start crying loudly. fuck. aemond's never been good with crying people but he'd burn down the entire world if he could stop your tears. he feels a protective wave in his chest, it's urging him to take the step to get you. you try to dry your tears, totally unable to calm down. you can't even look at aemond, how pathetic are you being right now? crying in front of your so-called best friend's baby brother. aemond should have better things to do other than listening to a girl cry over aegon.

"i'm so sorry." you say when you can finally breathe. "i'm not being fair to you. i'll just leave, you can-"

aemond snaps out of the trance. he rushes to you, his long arms are wrapped around your shoulders easily. you melt, starved for a comforting touch. he holds the back of your neck, fingers lightly wandering in your hair as he puts your head on his shoulder. you bury your face to his neck, wrap your arms around his waist. he smells nice. so nice like the rain or soft morning breeze.

aemond doesn't know how he'd wait so long to hug you. he closes his eye to the smell of your shampoo. his mind is clear like it never has been before. is this what holding you feels like? his skin is desperate for any contact, he's been starved for so long. he can get addicted to holding you easily, the possibility of never doing it again terrifies him. he loses his voice, he loses his patience.

you cry on his shoulder. he rubs a slow hand on your back, his lips tight on your head. he can feel the wetness of your tears on his skin, his fingers itch to dry them up.

you pull back, mortified. you look like you're gonna say sorry again but he can't have that. not again. you're not the person who should say sorry for having feelings or being brave enough to accept them.

"you're not being fair to me." he says. "you don't even know what you do to me."

he begs himself to shut up. he'll lose you. he'll lose the smallest contact with you if he keeps talking.

"i-" you start, still in his arms.

"no." he cuts your words. "it's not fair at all."

maybe people are right about the targaryen madness. nothing he does right now makes sense to him but he can't help himself. he just can't go on like this, not anymore. not when he got you in his arms.

"he- he doesn't deserve you." aemond says with a low voice. "but you know that, don't you? you've always been too clever for your own good."

"what can i do about that, aemond?" you whisper. "i'm trying to get over it. he's my best friend, do you see how fucked up this is?"

aemond shakes his head, his hand on your waist tightens. "trust me, i know about fucked up feelings. i know- i can understand how terrible you feel."

"and i didn't mean to be unfair to you." you continue. your tears dry on your cheeks. "i know you don't have to deal with this but you're nice enough to care about me. i won't disturb you again, i promise."

he takes a deep breath to stop himself from screaming. you're killing him. you don't even know.

"do you think the goodness in my heart is the reason for caring about you?" he asks, can't help gritting his teeth.

you look confused. he wants to kiss you so bad.

"you know what?" he backs off. "let's stop this- just forget i said anything."

he stops holding you, angry at himself for being a coward. he can feel the pins and needles on his hands, his shoulders are tense again.

"are you kidding me?" you ask, your voice is sad all over again. "why- why are you trying to mess with me? have i been that much of a bother to you?"

"stop!" he says loudly. you don't flinch, just stay on your spot with fresh tears on your eyes. aemond will not be the reason of your tears.

"stop saying that you're bothering me." he begs. "stop it- i can't take it anymore."

"then why?"

"because i'm in love with you." he says finally. "i've been in love with you for so long but you're not even aware of my existence when you're not asking for aegon! you think you're the only one with fucked up feelings?"

he kept everything to himself for so long, now that he starts he can't stop.

"you don't know what it's like to see you crying because of that prick. you don't know how i wished that it could be me- just for once let it be me who you care about. you don't know-"

he gets on his knees at the door to his apartment. his face pressed against his palms, staying vulnerable in front of you. he is so fucked. he half expects you to run away.

you are frozen on your feet. you always thought aemond was just being nice to you, all those times he offered you a cup of coffee and listened to you ramble about things. all the smiles he gave you, you were thinking he thought you are pathetic. you don't know what to think now.

it's like you're being controlled by someone else when you kneel beside him. your gentle hands pull his face to your shoulder just like he did minutes ago. you stroke his hair, nails scratching on his neck to give him a little peace. he holds onto you. you hold him back.

"i'm sorry." you say. "i'm so sorry, aemond."

"stop it." he says, finding his voice. "you are not guilty of my feelings."

"i wish i'd known before." you whisper. "i never meant to hurt you."

"don't- please don't run away from me." he pleads. "you don't have to see my face ever again but- i can't lose you."

you kiss his hairline just because it feels right. he feels right at that moment, your legs are numb on his doorstep and your fingers are quick to ease his worries.

"you're not losing me." you say. "i promise i won't leave."

aemond has never begged for anything in his life. wishing is different but begging would make him feel like a desperate man. he's too proud for it. he loses all his pride at your feet.

you cup his cheeks, looking at him through wet lashes. "it's not okay." you say. "it's not."

"i know you'll never feel the same for me." he says, words feel like poison on his lips. "and it's okay."

"there's nothing we can do." he replies. "you can't force yourself to love someone else."

you give him a broken smile. your finger draws a star on his cheek. "can we get inside?" you ask. "i think we need to talk about it properly and- we both need time."

"i don't want you to pity me." aemond says. "you don't have to do this."

"this is not pitying." you say. "i was going to the wrong direction before but- if you give me some time i can find my way."

even the hope of it makes him lightheaded. you are willing to talk about everything honestly with him, trying to give both of you a chance to be happy. you don't want to lose him, not when he feels so right in your arms. not when he holds you like he's protecting you from everything.

when you stand up to walk into the apartment, aemond holds your hand. you squeeze his fingers.

#aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond x you #house of the dragon #aemond x reader #modern!aemond #hotd #aemond one eye #modern!aemond targaryen #modern!aemond x reader #house targaryen #aegon targaryen #aegon ii targaryen #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond targaryen imagine #hotd aemond #aemond targaryen fanfiction #aemond imagine

[sexiestwerewolf]

I feel like Dumbledore has done irrefutable damage to the "wise older mentor who takes the traumatized kid under their wing" trope just because Rowling can't write father figures properly and now everyone expects every "wise old man who takes the traumatized kid under their wing" to be some inherent evil who's actually the spawn of Satan and only looking to harm said kid

I've seen it time and time again to many characters, but the ones I think of the most are All Might and Wu even though, objectively, they're great teachers and don't expect their kids to literally give up their life to stop the big bad. they made a few mistakes but literally everyone to ever exist is gonna make mistakes, but it doesn't make them bad people

in general I just really hate "character bashing" especially that of which I'll see in fanfiction and genuinely believe that if you stopped looking at all those characters through the lense of black and white and instead actually take the time to look into their characters and why they may act that way or make those mistakes and even, for fanfic writers, utilize those and expand upon them you'll find so much more depth

also usually I'm finding people giving more sympathy towards villains than characters who slighted the MC just a little bit and don't get me wrong I love my villains (huge garm fan here duh) but forgiving one but being overly critical of the mistakes of another is so weird

anyways I love my fanfiction writers who make old wise teachers flawed and human (so to speak in Wu's case) instead of irredeemable monsters who only have it out for the mc

#harry potter #albus dumbledore #mha #my hero academia #all might #ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago wu #rossthinking #i also think it has slightly to do with the fact that most of the victims of character bashing arent hot young men with tragic backstories #i mean some character bashing victims have tragic backstories but that's besides the point

[strwberri-milk]

Ooo! I saw that u were looking for lnds requests<33 don't mind if I do!

If you can- I'd like to request for zayne and rafayel if you don't mind- with a fem!reader That's high maintenance(with the skincare routine or hair, body care. Like the girly girls) who's had this mindset of "gotta work hard because my lifestyle is too expensive for me". They're also like to compliment other girls and call them pet names like "sweetie, babe, sweetheart, etc."

I just like to know how'd they treat if MC was like that-

Take your time and drink water! Love ya♡♡♡

tbh its girls like this that singlehandedly rescue me from my own internalised misogyny one sweet word at a time

Zayne likes that you have consistent routines that you follow and ambition to work hard. It's similar to the way that he lives his life so it's attractive to him to have someone who models the same principles he lives by. However, just know that nothing is too expensive for him if it comes to you. He doesn't want to see you work yourself into the ground to afford something that he knows you more than deserve and he will routinely surprise you with supplies if you start running low.

He's also a little afraid to ruin anything if you've finished your daily glam. He'll be careful not to get too close to your face or hair, knowing that you work hard to present yourself in a way that makes you feel the most beautiful and he'd be very disappointed with himself if he somehow messed it up. You tease him sometimes about it, telling him that it's not a big deal and he doesn't need to treat you like you're fragile.

Not only that but he loves how big your heart is. You go out of your way to make other people's days and he can't help but smile whenever you excitedly run over to tell someone that you think their shirt is cool or that you love their shoes. Knowing that he's the recipient of love from someone as kind as you always brightens his day and he'll never tire of hearing you tell him about your day and all the people you met.

Rafayel is very similar. He doesn't have an intensive skin care routine but it's definitely there and he is particular about the way his hair looks on certain days. He's primarily picky about how his clothes work so sometimes getting out of the house can be an endeavour for the both of you if neither of you can find exactly the right outfit that you want to wear.

He's nowhere near as friendly as you are but can come off as flirty which means his interactions with strangers is a little different than yours. He never uses pet names for people that can be skewed as something romantic - that's just not his style personally. He doesn't always get upset when you use pet names for strangers but if it's one he decides is specifically his - either a reference to him or just your favourite pet name for him - then he'll get pouty and refuse to give you attention until 1) he cracks or 2) you promise to not use that name with other people. It's always playful and you know he isn't really genuinely upset about it but you do try to keep his preferences in mind because you'd hate to actually hurt his feelings.

Similarly to Zayne nothing is too expensive for him. He doesn't mind that you work hard but he doesn't want you to neglect other aspects of your life to afford the things you like. He'll routinely buy refills for supplies you're running low on or new ones that you've been eyeing. He's definitely the type of boyfriend who'll pay for your nails and hair if you just breathe a word of it towards him without thinking - and give you more than enough to tip the staff.

#love and deepspace x reader #lads x reader #l&ds x reader #lads rafayel x reader #l&ds rafayel x reader #rafayel x reader #lads zayne x reader #l&ds zayne x reader #zayne x reader

[minniethemoocherda]

Washing Machine Heart

A/N: This is set after my previous Morpherine fic "Can I Lay by Your Side?" but you should be able to read this as a stand alone. Tried something different here by doing Logan's POV instead which was a challenge but I hope you guys liked it! Thank you so much for everyone's likes, reblogs and comments on my last two Morpherine fics! I am so happy I am not the only one craving for more about these two! I don't know if I will have time to upload another Morpherine fic for a while because I am busy with IRL stuff and this other big fic I've got going on rn. But if the inspiration hits again then I will ride it! Xxxxxxx

Ao3

FF.net

Logan hated galas. He hated stuffy rooms full of rich arseholes and stupid social conventions and food that wasn't actually designed to make you full. But since the event was a fundraiser to help support mutant kids, he didn't have a choice in not going to this one.

Logan had tried to argue that his costume counted as a suit, but Jean had threatened to force him change if he didn't do it himself.

So reluctantly he had on an old scratchy black and white suit. He was currently waiting in the hall with the other guys whilst the girls and Morph finished getting ready and if Scott didn't stop telling him how to tie his tie, then he was going to strangle him with it.

"How do I look?"

Focused on trying to not kill Cyclops, Logan hadn't noticed that the other's had arrived until he heard Morph's voice from behind him.

Logan turned around only to find the breath punched out of him.

Ever since Morph had come out a few months ago, (some that Logan had been completely accepting of it because he had been around for over a hundred years and Morph was far from the person he'd met who was like that) they'd said that they wanted to experiment more with their clothing.

However, whilst Logan had seen Morph in a suit, outside when they'd shift into a female mutants costume, he hadn't seen them wearing much feminine clothing yet

Until today.

Leaning against the end of the banister, Morph was wearing a long red dress, pretty similar to the one in that film they'd watched with how it hugged their body before flaring out at the bottom. Their chest was still relativity flat in their usual form, but the low cut of the dress, enhanced what was there. Logan felt that animalistic nature inside of him growl with want.

Which was new.

Logan recognised the feeling of wanting to hang out with Morph, to protect them, to hear them laugh. But that was a different kind of want... right?

Distracted by their thoughts, Logan hadn't realised that he had never actually replied until he heard Morph let out a nervous laugh.

"Don't tell me, my clutch doesn't match?" Morph said, gesturing to the small white bag in their other hand that Logan honestly hadn't even noticed.

"It's fine." Logan replied, not that he was any authority on fashion. "You look good."

"I know." Morph smiled, striking an over the top pose, but with his enhanced senses, Logan could pick out the blush under their friend's grey skin.

"However, I wish I could say the same for you." Morph teased, pointing at the tangled mess of Logan's tie.

Before Logan could grumble a protest, Morph tucked their bag under their arm and leant forward to fix it themselves.

Logan found himself frozen as impossibly smooth hands, brushed against his neck as Morph fixed his tie. Logan was not one for physical touch, he couldn't remember the last time another person had touched somewhere as vulnerable as his neck, one of the few places on his body that if too badly damaged would be an injury he couldn't walk away from. But he found himself completely trusting under Morph's gentle hands.

This close, Logan could feel the overwhelming smell of whatever perfume Morph had doused themselves in. Logan was sure that it objectively smelled nice. But it his over sensitive nose, it just smelt of chemicals. He preferred Morph's normal smell because it mean that he knew that his friend was still alive.

He could also hear the slightly quickened pace of Morph's pulse, that appeared to beat faster with every moment.

"There," Morph smiled as they finally smoothed out his collar over the newly fixed tie. "Now you shouldn't get us kicked out for looking like a savage again."

Morph took a step back, probably to admire their handiwork, but before Logan even realised what he was doing, he had reached out to grab their hand to keep them still touching.

Thankfully, Morph didn't seem offended, just confused by the action.

Logan shook his head. He didn’t know why he'd just done that. The chemicals from that perfume must've messed with his head.

He corrected himself, dropping his hands before offering out an arm like he'd seen them do in that movie.

He watched as Morph blinked for a second, as though not entirely believing what they were seeing, before a devious grin spread across their face.

"Oh my dear Wolverine, I thought you'd never ask!" They cried, a hand clutched dramatically over their heart as though this was all some big joke.

"Are ya gonna take it or what?" Logan grumbled, for some reason feeling suddenly annoyed.

Rolling their eyes, Morph placed their bag in one hand and looped the other through Logan's arm.

"I bet I can down more free drinks than you can." They faux whispered into his ear, their breath sending shivers down his spine.

"You're gonna loose that bet bub." Logan retorted, falling back into their usual banter after whatever the fuck had just happened.

After a few last minute toilet trips and loosing an argument with Jubilee about her dress being too short, they all piled into the limo waiting outside.

It was a cramped fit for all of them. The low ceilings, darkened windows and close quarters reminded Logan of when he was trapped in that damn cage.

Hunched in the back corner, the other's hadn't noticed his agitation, too busy arguing over whether Jubilee could try any of the free champagne.

All except for Morph, who stroked their hand down his arm and kept up a continuous chatter for the car ride, tethering him to this reality.

Thankfully it was a quick drive to Town Hall where the gala was being held.

Unfortunately, word must've spread about the fundraiser, because the Town Hall was swarmed by a bunch of anti-mutant protestors.

Even out of costume, their group was pretty recognisable and suddenly most of the abuse was getting hurled at them.

Security was doing a decent job keeping the crown contained behind barriers, but there wasn't much they could do to contain to hurtful jabs thrown their way.

Morph faltered on the steps, their sudden stop nearly tripping Logan over.

"Do I really look okay?" They asked, clutching onto his arm even tighter.

"You're a knock-out." Logan replied in honesty. "And if anyone says otherwise, I'll stab them."

Morph snorted.

"I don't think Summer's will be impressed if you cause another international incident."

"Then I'll shove my claws up his ass too."

Logan couldn't help the swell of satisfaction at the sound of Morph's signature cackle.

As the others headed inside, Logan paused at the top of the stairs.

He had fought mad scientists, sentinals and Sinister. Going to some fancy party filled with rich people should not feel like going into battle. Yet it did.

Morph squeezed his arm and Logan glanced up to see that familiar determined smile gazing down at him and Logan couldn't help the grin that spread across his face.

Because as always the two of them had each other's back. And whatever battle was waiting for them on the other side of those doors, they would face it together.

#morpherine #logan #wolverine #kevin sydney #morph #morph x men #james logan howlett #logan howlett #james howlett #jubilation lee #jubilee #scott summers #cyclops #jean grey #x men #x men 97 #morph x wolverine #morph x logan

[allastoredeer]

The thing that peeves me off about people saying Alastor would never bottom because of his EGO (besides everything you said about Lucifer's ego) is that it also shows such a patriarchal-ly drenched heterosexual view of sex, that they then apply to a MLM ship that drives me INSANE.

They think Top means big, strong man domineering over the small, soft, gentle woman (the bottom) and it's like, that's such a regressive view of heterosexual sex to begin with but now you're trying to apply that to two dudes. Especially two dudes like Alastor and Lucifer, who both have massive egos and other personal hangups that would shine through during an intimate moment with the two of them.

Like, if you think Alastor wouldn't bottom cause he always wants to be in control, but you think control and manipulation can only happen as the top? That the bottom has no power or control over the act? Maybe because I'm ace, but the idea that the bottom doesn't have any control is so weird to me? I'm not even talking about power bottom dynamics either, the bottom controls so much of the act (if it's consensual) cause if they don't like something, it ain't happening.

I dunno. I think it's perfectly fine to have a preference of top or bottom, lord knows I only interact with bottom!Alastor content (I see Al as ace and generally disinterested in sex, so he'd take the position that requires the lease work (in his view)), but I think it's a whole 'nother beast to take that preference and try to force it on other people. I think the people who claim a character in an MLM (or even WLW) ship would ONLY ever top or ONLY ever bottom strictly on the idea of "control" or "ego" need to reexamine their view of sex.

Sorry if this was all over the place, I have so many thoughts and frustrations on the whole bottom!Alastor thing, due in part to the amount of people that comment stupid shit on bottom!Alastor content, but you don't see anyone saying that shit on bottom!Lucifer stuff. ugh

"...is that it also shows such a patriarchal-ly drenched heterosexual view of sex..."

THIS! This here ⬆️ That is exactly it. Everything you wrote is 🤌excellent, but this line. THIS LINE sums it up so perfectly.

Because that's exactly what it is. In almost every patriarchal, heteronormative relationship, the man is seen as the top and always portrayed as big, dominant, and strong. Wheras the women is seen as the bottom, and portrayed as soft, submissive, sweet, and--a lot of the time--naive and innocent.

I hate the patriarchal, heteronormative view's of sex as it is, but GOD, I forget how messed up it is sometimes. It is, as you said, incredibly regressive. More often then not, it creates this unhealthy, pre-established dynamic between two people (usually a man and a women) that completely disregards how they might actually feel about a relationship and what their sexual preferences for a relationship is. And anything OTHER than this pre-established dynamic is seen as "other," or "not normal."

So taking THAT and putting it onto queer relationships just ljsfnlsjgbl it makes me want to rip my hair out.

"Like, if you think Alastor wouldn't bottom cause he always wants to be in control, but you think control and manipulation can only happen as the top? That the bottom has no power or control over the act? Maybe because I'm ace, but the idea that the bottom doesn't have any control is so weird to me? I'm not even talking about power bottom dynamics either, the bottom controls so much of the act (if it's consensual) cause if they don't like something, it ain't happening."

Anon it's like you're reaching inside my brain and pulling out all of my thoughts, and I love you for it.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people use power dynamics interchangeable with top and bottom. Those two things are not the same. Submissive and bottom are not the same thing. Dominant and top are not the same thing.

Top and bottom (and switch!) is a preferred sexual position. Submission and Dominance (BDSM) is a consensual power-exchange in a pre-determined scene between two or more people.

Someone being a top does not automatically give them more power over the bottom. Or, at least, it shouldn't. There is no agreed upon power exchange. The person topping doesn't have more control than the person bottoming, nor should they.

And I completely agree, Anon. I've always been so weirded out, and unnerved, when bottoms are portrayed as not having as much control in sexual situation than tops. It grosses me out, honestly. I find it very icky, especially when it's perceived as the norm.

"I dunno. I think it's perfectly fine to have a preference of top or bottom, lord knows I only interact with bottom!Alastor content (I see Al as ace and generally disinterested in sex, so he'd take the position that requires the lease work (in his view)), but I think it's a whole 'nother beast to take that preference and try to force it on other people. I think the people who claim a character in an MLM (or even WLW) ship would ONLY ever top or ONLY ever bottom strictly on the idea of "control" or "ego" need to reexamine their view of sex."

Not me copy-and-pasting nearly all of your ask (LMAO) but I just love the points you're making. I have no problem with people having a preference for who tops and who bottoms. Fandom is supposed to be fun, and I want people to have fun. Like you, I generally only interact with bottom!Alastor, and so, I leave top!Alastor content alone.

It's when people try to argue that certain characters can't or won't top/bottom, because of a list of stupid reasons they make up, that I start losing my patience. Especially when their basis for who tops and bottoms is judged on ego or how much of a control freak a character is. People are not that black and white. People are complex and multi-faceted.

And, I know, sometimes people just want to read smut. They want pure filth (amen to that 🙏), and enjoy having a specific character be a submissive bottom and the other a dominant top. Just don't try and push that onto other people by arguing against a dynamic that you don't like. It's weird.

Thank you for the ask, Anon. It's everything to me.

#this ENTIRE message #i want to plaster it over the fandom bulletin board for everyone to see #i have no problem with preferring who bottoms and who tops in a ship #that's not the issue #its when you start trying to force other people into what YOU like by giving a bunch of stupid reasons about #why a certain character would never EVER in their life EVER bottom/top #it's so stupid #i lose braincells #thank you for this anon #I love it and I love you #anon #asks #anonymous #bottom!Alastor #top!Lucifer #radioapple #appleradio

[cy-cyborg]

I'm getting a little tierd of the idea because amputees get more representation in media, it means rep for our disability is better and we "have enough"

People are right, we do have way more rep than really any other disability, im not going to deny that, and ive joked before about how often people write amputees without even realising it. So you would think, by sheer numbers, we should have at least some good representation, but by-and-large that is not the case. Legitimatly, the closest example I can think of to point to of good amputee rep is Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood and even that uses multiple tropes I hate (the miracle cure/quest for the miracle cure, the almost perfect prosthetic replacement/forgetting the chatacter is an amputee until it breaks or needs repairs, refusal to call prosthetics, "prosthetics" (automail), the amputee who can't do anything without a prosthetic) and they call Ed a slur for another disability (m*dget) CONSTANTLY. I love fmab deeply, it legitimatly helped me feel seen and represented as a childhood amputee in a way no other show has even come close to, and when it gets it right, it gets it really right, but it's also very far from great and should not be the best example I can think of. Especially nearly 15 years after it released...

A big part of the reason why I don't read many books anymore is because of the sheer amount of books with downright offensively bad amputee rep, some of which were touted as good by people with other disabilities and were recommended to me as good examples. others times, I wasn't even looking for books with amputee/disability rep, it just popped up. It has ruined one of my childhood hobbies for me. Ive tried to get back into reading again as an adult but it hasn't gotten better in that time i was away. I was kicked out of 3 different scifi writing groups on facebook and reddit for asking people to remember "cybernetic enhancement" users are amputees - a real group of people, and maybe debating weather or not we're less human isnt great, and for pointing out seeing those discussions every day was making me feel pretty unwelcome in that space (yes i know, "real" cyberpunk isnt trying to say that, i had to turn notifications off on my post about the topic, it doesnt change the fact that newer creators in the genre dont seem to get that bit, that ive seen cyberpunk writers in these spaces say that debating weather people who loose more parts of their body were less human was, in fact, their intent but they hadnt even considered the fact this made their chatacters amputees, it doesnt change the fact that these tropes, intentionally or not, help make those spaces hostile for disabled fans/creators, especially amputees).

But yeah, I should be thankful I get more rep than other disabilities, no matter the quality, right?

It doesn't just stop at being me being made uncomfortable, though. The sheer, overwhelming amount of amputee chatacters with "perfect prosthetics" has had a noticeable impact on how we are perceived irl. In my lifetime, the general idea people have about multi-limbed amputees in particular has gone from "literally the worst thing that can happen to a person and the worst disability to have" to "is it even a disability? The prosthetic fixes it". These are both wildly untrue and harmful ideas about my disability that were both perpetuated by media, but now that the second one is taking root, it's causing real problems. I have not been shy in talking about how I have to fight to maintain my NDIS funding every time I get something done with my prosthetics, and had to get my prosthetist to sign off, twice, that my fancy prosthetic knee that costs the same as a higher-end new car ($125,000 AUD) is not, in fact a cure and I still need help with other things. It took me nearly 2 years to get a new wheelchair because they didn't understand why I needed it if I had the prosthetics - which to be honest, is not comfortable for me to wear, let alone use all day every day. Guys this isn't just assholes on the street or on twitter saying dumb shit, it's the people in the government body who decide how much funding I get to help with my disability who beleive it. People who have very real control over my life. It's not entirely the media's fault, but when the sheer, overwhelming majority of representation for people like me confirms that belief, it's hard to ignore the possibility that these portrayals are contributing to it, you know?

Which makes it so frustrating when I come on here and see other disability writing advice blogs saying to not write amputees because they have so much representation already. We do, I can acknowledge that, but the vast, vast majority of it is shit, and no one, not even other disabled people, are listening to us about it. And what makes it even worse, is the people they're advising to not writing amputees are the creators who care enough to be doing the research. They're the ones willing to listen, to ask questions. They could be the start of the positive change. But instead they're advised to not even bother with us.

And don't get me wrong, other disabilities ARE under-represented. There are so many disabilities, including some I have myself, that I've never seen represented as anything other than the butt of a joke. There does need to be more reprentation of disabilities other than amputation and limb differences. 100%! but can you please talk about that without saying "amputees have enough"

This isn't even touching on how amputees/people with limb differences who dont/cant use prosthetics, or even folks who use prosthetics sometimes but not others, are almost never represented unless it's for pitty-porn, or how the non-fictional media's (news outlets, etc) portrayal of amputees in particular is used to justify hurting very real, very vunderable people but this rant is long enough and honestly, ive got enough thoughts to make whole other posts on those subjects. That second one in particular deserves its own (more thought-out) spotlight and shouldn't be a footnote in a frustrated rant post lol.

#writing disability with cy cyborg (unfiltered) #disability #disabled #writing #writeblr #writing disability #disability representation #amputee #amputee representation #rant #long post

[betasquads]

(this is for the niko angst thing) can you pls do smt like he thinks the reader cheated on him but its just a big misunderstanding. you don't have to make it happy ending but i would prefer it.

love ur work sm btwww 🤍🤍

I'LL ONLY MAKE YOU CRY, Niko Omilana

(request)

summary: Niko Omilana, a guy who isn't really experienced with relationships. When he hears one accusation of you cheating, you see a face you've never thought you'd live to see.

warning: kissing, angst, MEAN / TOXIC nikolas

A/N: we know me and I hate a happy ending 😘 I just simply can't make them I feel like it's much more better when the ending is terrible + (TYSM FOR THE COMPLIMENT ANON 🤍🤍🤍) also sorry for taking so long to finish this i'll try to be consistent 😭 (ending is rushed and little bit cringe, read at your own risk!!)

"Hey babe." Your heels are heard when you walk inside the beta squad set, the frown on Niko's face immediately turns into his usual goofy smile when he recognizes your voice.

There's no time to hand him the breakfast you've gotten for him as he engulfs your entire waist with his long arms, his lips making its way onto yours. You hear him slightly chuckle in the kiss, which triggers your smile.

"I–" he pulls your lips with his teeth which triggers the bottom of your stomach with heat.

"missed you–" He presses his hot lips against yours.

"so much."

You roll your eyes despite the grin plastered on your face, "You just left your apartment not an h–"

"Our." He corrects you with a slight aggressiveness in his tone.

You sigh, "Our apartment not even an hour ago." You half-heartedly glare at him as you correct yourself.

"I can't go one minute without you." He whines to you silently, so none of his boys could hear it and make it a joke for the rest of his life. He tugs on your hips and pulls you even closer.

"Yes, you can. You aren't a child and i'm certainly not your toy." You say almost a bit coldly, but from the inside, you could feel yourself heating up at his touch that never failed to intoxicate you.

"Keep your hands to yourself. There might be children watching. You know, like Aj." You playfully say, Niko biting his lip to stifle his laugh.

"It's hard keeping my hands to myself when you're so tempting." He rolls his eyes playfully.

You feel your face getting red by the second, trying to come up with anything to say rather than stay silent.

"Enough." You glare at him.

He shrugs, looking at you innocently. "What? I'm just stating the obvious. And theres other obvious things that you still haven't heard yet from me–"

You raise your index finger right at him, "I didn't come here for you to state the obvious." Your index finger makes its way to poke the side of his shoulder.

He places his hand on the place you aggressively poked, "Ouch. It's not my fault you get flustered easily."

"Omilana." Your glare was sending him a warning.

"Right. Sorry." He mutters.

"The only reason I'm here is that I got you breakfast on the way to work–"

"-but there's breakfast here." He cuts you off.

You narrow your eyes towards the buffet that was only filled with chips, crackers, and sweets. Some were left open, the rest being either closed or empty.

You squint your eyes at your boyfriend, who stood with a smile, like he had won with his weak statement.

"You call packaged poison breakfast?" You cross your arms, a small victorious smile appearing on your face as you spoke.

"Hey, hey. Now I don't want you smiling because you aren't winning this argument. Food is food. Any food could be breakfast." He smiles when he sees that you had nothing to say.

Fine, he won. But next time, you wouldn't let it go.

You roll your eyes at his childish manners. "You need warm nutritious food in order to keep your tall genes working so you could beat a giraffes height. It would set a world record. Hey, I can even call up guinness world records to help you win a world record." You suggest.

He sends you a bored stare, "Ha-ha. Very funny. It isn't my fault you look like the troll from Frozen. Giving both looks and height." He ruffles your hair as he spoke, your hands aggressively pushing it away as you fix your hair.

"I'm not trying to be funny. Also did you just say a troll? Yeah, good one. So you're dating a child then?" You questioned, raising your brows as you did so.

"Trolls aren't children. They're a bunch of grown old rock–thingy. They're just dwarfs. You know, like you." He whispers in yours ears as he snakes his arms around your waist.

You sigh in annoyance as you push him away. "All that i'm saying is that my own boyfriend deserves having real, good food." You hand him a brown paper bag, his smile brightens when he sees the smiley face on the bag.

"You guys are disgusting." Aj remarks from the background, in which you responded with flipping him off.

"Oh baby," He whispers in your ears, kissing it with a small peck. You hum in response, your breathing getting less steadier the more he goes lower.

When he reaches your collarbone, "I love you so much." He mumbles against your skin.

"I love you too." You say softly. You tug on his curls, admiring him for a few seconds.

"y/n– Oh hey, Niko." Your manager walks inside the set.

"You ready? We have to be there in 15." Your manager, Carter says to you. Niko observes weirdly at how Carter seemed a bit too smile-y, his lips reaching from ear to ear.

"I'll be there." The way you spoke seemed a bit too much cheerful for Niko, but he pushes it off.

Niko's stare towards Carter was intimidating, waiting for him to leave. The eye contact between you and Carter seemed a bit too long for Niko before Carter turns around and leaves the set.

Niko's puppy eyes return when he looks at you, englufing his large hands with yours. "Don't leave." He says, knowing damn well you'll have to either way.

"I'd rather stay with you and we both know that." You sigh, checking the time from your phone.

"13 minutes and I have to be there for shooting. Promise I'll make it up to you when we both get back to our apartment." You smile at him, the smile that always made Niko nervous.

He grins at you, his lips kissing your forehead, "I'll see you later."

—

9:40 pm

Niko smiled as he saw the time. Exactly 20 minutes, and he was going to see you.

After a long day of shooting, everyone left home, and the only person on set was him. He always made sure to close off everything.

"I'm pretty sure your girl is cheating." A familiar voice erupts Niko's thoughts.

Stacey. One of Niko's producers.

He was packing up as he finished filming everything for the day, which meant every producer should've gone home before he did.

Niko scoffed, confused by why she was here and confused by the sudden confession. "y/n is her name. And no, she wouldn't. Also, you aren't supposed to be here. You should've gone home." Niko says aggressively with a cold smile, not bothering to make an eye contact with her.

Niko was never harsh with any of his producers. He was always the sweetest out of the boys, but hearing this from one of his producers? He wasn't going to let anyone talk about you this way.

"Carter. Isn't that his name? Recently there were pictures leaked from a really weird angle. It looked like they were kissing." The name drops from her mouth with ease, Niko's shoulder straightening when he hears the name that he has always hated.

He stays silent, contemplating whether he should believe this or he shouldn't.

"Here, I could show you."

—

You felt your eyes getting heavy as you scrolled relentlessly on your phone.

Your eyes widened when a photo of you and Carter, your producer, appears on your feed.

From this angle, it seemed like the both of you were kissing. But in reality, the both of you were taking a picture on your phone of your faces at a really low angle.

And the paparazzi had to show a picture from this angle.

"Fucking pricks. Disgusting." You mutter under your breath.

You checked the time.

11:24 pm.

Why was Niko late? He was always the first to arrive. You were starting to get concerned, that was until you heard the faint noises of keys unlocking the door.

You smile once you see that Niko was finally back from work, but it slowly goes away when you see that Niko didn't seem... very happy.

"Bad day on set?" You ask, worried for him.

He ignores you, his eyebrows still deeply furrowed and his eyes are looking at everything but you.

"You got into another fight with another one of your producers?" You ask. Niko's heart softened at the way you spoke. So delicate, so sweet. You never failed to make him feel this way. He even seemed to wonder how can an angel like you, even cheat?

He sits down on the couch, his eyes still staring and boring into the TV across the room. "Babe?" You softly say, sitting next to him on the couch.

"What do you want?" He says carelessly, unlocking his phone and scrolling with his thumb.

You were almost a taken aback at the attitude. You were used to him showering you with kisses and hugs, but now he just seemed off.

You eye him up and down for a few seconds. "Is it wrong that I want to talk to my boyfriend after not seeing him for a long time?" You say playfully with a smile to lighten the mood, but it quickly dissappears when you notice that he wasn't phased.

"You know–" He starts, but something held him back.

"Actually, nevermind. Not worth wasting my breath." He says coldly, a snicker escaping his lips.

You stay silent for a moment, looking around and making sure there wasn't a camera, because you knew this was going to take a turn if he was actually treating you like this.

When your suspicions of seeing a camera settles off, anger takes ahold of you. "Why are you acting like this?" You scoff.

"I'd hardly call myself your boyfriend." He tries to mutter to himself, but you catch it.

What did he even mean by that?

" Excuse me? Niko, where is this coming from?" Your voice cracks. A huge lump suddenly formed in your throat.

His lips twitch into a mockery smile, something he usually does whenever he was deeply hurt. It makes you almost cry. What the hell has gotten into him?

"You're sleeping with someone else." He laughs, like he was amused by the entire thing.

"What are you talking about? "

"You're cheating on me." He states as if it was a factual statement.

Your heart is beating as the seconds pass by, the fear dropping to your gut almost made you sick to your stomach.

"Wh–" You pause, trying to take him on what the fuck had he just said.

Sleeping?! Cheating?!

Was those words actually coming out from Niko's mouth? Your sweet Niko?

"What did you just say?" The way you had spoke proved how much you were hurt by the statement. It wavered in fear and cracked in anger.

How can he accuse you of something you'd never do?

"I don't have to repeat it, y/n. I made it pretty clear." He clearly sounded irritated as he spoke like you were the problem, his voice getting louder by each word he spoke.

Did he just say your name?

The last time you could ever recall him say your name was one day before you both committed in a fully relationship.

You could feel your heartstrings being ripped, it even made a melody in your ears. It was ringing, you almost weren't aware from your surroundings.

Your nails digging through your skin, the pain made you come back to reality as though it had lost you there for a second.

"Me? Cheating? Sleeping? Are you aware on what the hell you're saying right now?" Your voice is now louder with anger, fury and rage that he could say such thing. Your palms are now sweating, not that because he was right, it was because maybe he was fully convinced that you had cheated on him.

"I don't see me talking to multiple people. Who else would I be talking to?"

He was too calm for a situation like this.

It made you scared.

"Niko, what the fuck– let's just talk it out. Please don't be like this." You gently speak, your hand slowly reaching out for him. But thats when he dodges your touch. Something that he never does.

"Niko." You say sternly.

fear was all you felt.

You shake your head, almost trying to deny his actions. You didn't wanna believe it. "I didn't sleep with anyone. whoever told you that was–"

"I honestly don't care whether you slept with someone or not. I can finally have an excuse to leave you." He says coldly, the words spilling from his lips didn't feel real at all. Where was that sweet man who was begging for you to stay? You were confused, none of it made sense to you it made your eyes blurry.

He had said it like he meant it, but you didn't want to believe it.

You feel tears approaching and the ache in your heart made you feel like it almost swallowed you whole.

"Niko," You say it as a warning, "You don't mean that." You shake your head.

Netherless, the pain in your chest was never going to be recovered, his words easily made its way through your heart.

"Believe it or not, I do. I'm sick of you. Always have been." He nods at his words. He wanted to believe in his words although he doesn't mean it. You could point the slight hesitation in his tone, but was that you just making up things because you wanted to have an excuse?

"Take that back, or I swear to God I will–"

"You swear to God you will do what?" He says it in a sense of mockery, his eyes finally latching onto yours.

You felt vulnerable and weak at the moment, like you were lower than him. That's how he wanted to make you feel.

"You're hurting me. Please tell me you don't mean it." You beg with your teary eyes.

His eyebrows furrow and his eyes glistened for a second, but it goes back to being cold.

"I don't care." He says plainly.

He sighs, "Get out of my apartment. I don't have the time for you." He points towards the door.

"Niko– you're not serious. I have no place to stay–" Words were now spilling from your lips, you had no idea if there was now a future. As now it had felt like the end.

"I don't have to repeat it, do I? I. don't. care. Get out."

You were in complete disbelief when you realize what made him act out.

"Niko? Is it the picture? Niko I swear that was–"

"Do you not understand the words coming out of my mouth? I don't love you anymore–" He pauses when he realizes what he said, his eyes meeting yours. He sees the tears rolling down your cheeks, his fingers curling into fists to try and tempt himself not to get up and start wiping your tears.

His eyebrows are furrowed in a sympathetic way, like some sense has knocked into him. He froze. He couldn't even move.

But before he could say another word, "Fine. I'll pack and I'll leave. We're over." You nod weakly. You were too tired to prove yourself as he was being stubborn. You couldn't even cry.

But what came next, hurt you even more.

He just nods with a small smile, "Yeah, sure. We're over. Just leave."

He had just confirmed it and there was no going back. You didn't even wanna pack. You just wanted to leave at this moment. And thats what you did.

You get up from the couch without any hesitation, holding the tears you wanted to let out as you didn't want Niko to see that you cared.

Bam.

Niko almost felt dumbfounded when he saw you take your last steps in this apartment that he had called your very own. He knew he wasn't built for a relationship and was sure he'd only make you cry in the end.

In your eyes, it looked like he didn't even regret it. But a few feet from you as you're leaving the complex, Niko's eyes brimmed with tears.

#beta squad #niko omilana #betasquad #niko omilana imagine #nikoomilana #chunkz #aj shabeel #beta squad imagine #aj beta squad #king kenny #niko omilana x reader #niko x reader #niko omilana x you #aj shabeel imagine #aj shabeel x reader #beta squad x reader #betasquad x reader

[dontcopymyarticle]

Trick (Suo x Reader)

"Hey, I didn't expect Suou to have something to hate."

You are holding a small plate of natto, stirring it leisurely with chopsticks, and the big smile on your face is exactly the same as Suou's expression when he used to watch the play.

The wooden chopsticks hooked up the filaments adhered to between natto, and the thicker they became, the whiter they became, and even foamed up gradually.

Every time he mixed it,Hayato Suo, who sat opposite, seemed to take a slightly untraceable step back, his immovable smile becoming more and more stiff, and the illusion of the falling lime wall of Pososo.

It always feels like this guy is resisting all his cells.

"No, it's normal to have pesky food." The tone is as calm and steady as ever.

unfortunately! You really want to see Suou break the defense!

"come on, have a taste," So you indulged your bad taste and smiled with the plate. "Don't be picky about eating,Suou."

Will you run for the road?

It feels like you are the kind of owner who teases your cat with cucumbers. The guy in front of you is not slippery, so you can probably tease this now, right?

"but it's really bad." Suou paused and sighed, unusually showing weakness, eyelashes drooping, exquisite eyebrows and eyes revealing a melancholy and helpless breath.

Beauty trick, it's definitely a beauty trick!

"you haven't tried, have you?" he looked up at you again, his clear eyes and drooping corners like an innocent and bewildering fox. "take a bite and you'll understand me."

Just want to deceive me to eat, big cunning!

Having said that, you are actually a little curious about the taste of natto.

As Suou watched with a smile, you pulled the sticky beans from the dish and dipped a piece into your mouth hesitantly.

Um. This subtle taste is still not enough in the eyes of the Chinese who can eat anything.

"the taste of natto is real beans." Silently ignored the concern of Suou, "this child is really stupid," you meditate for a moment, you have a flash of inspiration, you suddenly understand!

"I don't think it's as lethal as beans should be," Keep your head down and support your chin, your glasses reflect light, and you smile.

"for example, the famous delicacies in China-swill-flavored bean juice, and stinky tofu, which smells and tastes bad. It just so happens that my mother is going abroad to see me, so I might as well ask her to bring you some prefabricated ones. "

Hey, there are many wonderful foods in the world more wonderful than natto.

…… "Oh, don't go, are you leaving now? Don't ignore me, Suo? Suo? "

苏枋：面对纳豆也能游刃有余吗？

“欸，想不到苏枋也会有讨厌的东西～” 你捧着一小碟纳豆，用筷子不紧不慢地搅拌着，脸上看热闹不嫌事大的微笑和苏枋以前看戏时的表情十成十地一致。

木筷勾连起纳豆间粘连着的细丝，越是搅越是粘稠发白，甚至渐渐泛起了沫子。

每拌一下，坐在对面的苏枋隼飞好像就微不可查地往后挪了一步，铁打不动的笑容越发地僵硬，幻视出扑索索往下掉石灰的墙面。

噗嗤，总感觉这家伙浑身细胞都在抗拒呢。

“不，有讨厌的食物很正常吧。”就是语气还一如既往地镇定平稳。

可惜！你是真的很想看苏枋破防的样子啊！

“来来，尝一口嘛，” 于是你放任了自己的恶趣味，端着碟子桀桀地笑着， “苏枋小朋友，不要挑食哦。”

会夺路而逃吗？ 感觉你现在就是拿黄瓜逗自家猫的那种主人，眼前的这家伙滑不溜手的，大概也就现在能逗这一下了吧？

“可是真的很难吃。”苏枋顿了顿、叹口气，一反常态地示弱道，睫羽垂下，精致的眉眼流露出一股忧郁又无奈的气息。

美人计，绝对是美人计！

“你也没有尝试过吧，”他又抬眼注视着你，清透的眼睛、下垂的眼角，像是无辜又惑人的狐狸，“吃一口就能理解我了。”

就想骗我吃，大大地狡猾！ 虽然是这么说，其实你也有点好奇纳豆是什么口味。

在苏枋笑眯眯地注视下，你扒拉扒拉碟子里黏糊糊的豆子，犹疑地舀了一块塞进嘴里。

唔…… 这微妙的口感，在啥都能吃的中国人眼里，还是不够看啊。

“这纳豆的味道，可真豆子啊。” 默默地无视了苏枋隼飞“这孩子果然被难吃傻了吧”的关切眼神，你沉思片刻，你灵光一闪，你骤然明了！

“我觉得它还没有发挥出豆子应有的杀伤力，” 低头撑住下巴，眼镜反光，你微微一笑， “比如说中国那边著名的美食——泔水味儿的豆汁，还有闻起来臭吃起来也很臭的臭豆腐。 刚好我妈要出国来看我，不如让她带点预制的给你尝尝。”

嘿嘿，人间比纳豆还奇妙的食物有很多呢！

…… “诶，别走嘛，你这就要走了? 别不理我嘛，苏枋？苏枋同学?”

As you may have noticed from the plot of this article, the reader is Chinese. Because this article was originally posted on the Chinese blog, and was translated by nuticecream to own. I wish she would stop taking articles from our blog and claiming they are her own. It's going to make us miserable.

#suou hayato x reader #hayato suou #hayato suo #wind breaker

[bambi-kinos]

loved ur recent post on paul whump !! besides the linked one(which I've never read so thanks!) do you have👀👀 any recommendations👀👀👀👀

tl;dr - it's slim pickins out there.

First let's bring back an old differentiation: there's physical whump and then emotional whump, and that was an important distinction back in the day. I have looked for both and while there are some good emotional whump pieces, there is no readable physical whump besides the su!c!d3 fic. Physical whump is more of an action movie thing and in general Beatles fandom is not terribly interested in action and adventure so they don't write it. And the thing is, that's fine, that's a valid choice that anyone can make and we should write about the things we enjoy and not what we think others expect. But it also means that Paul whump fics basically don't exist in modern fandom as we know it. There are probably some on LJ or in the Google Docs McLennon archive since Stargate and Smallville were so big on LJ at the time and there was more x-fandom pollination but I don't want to Snipe hunt right now.

(For the record, I do have something in the works to fix this hole but it won't come out until next year if we're lucky.)

Emotional whump is more plentiful and there's well written stuff out there for sure. Most of the emotional whump I've enjoyed is centered around John's suffering and while Paul's misery is apparent it's not the focus of those pieces. So this took some digging into my bookmarks and memory. What I like in a good Paul whump fic is how his own arrogance and narcissist tendencies come back to bite him OR he's having to put up with John's shit when John is being horrible.

In that spirit, here are my recommendations for decent emotional whump focused on Paul:

Barcelona - Selena. I enjoy this one because Selena let's Paul be a whole person here. It's not just John and Brian bothering him, it's the fact that he's trapped with someone who reminds him of what he's lacking and how this hurts him, both now and in the past. Parallels to the Barcelona situation are subtle and well drawn so you get all of the agony without being hit over the head with it. John is opaque to Paul who doesn't understand why he's acting like this which is a nice change from what we often see in fanfic where John just blurts out what he's feeling. Here we see how much Paul suffers when John is trying too hard to be clever.

A Hole in the World - RosalindBeatrice. Linda bears witness to the aftermath of John's murder in Paul. Easily the absolute best fanfiction on this list.

Birthday - Selene. Love this one because Selene writes Paul as an actual character instead of the heteronormative girly thing he often gets slapped with. Paul is once again bitter, angry and unhappy because the boy he fell in love with has already disappeared. He is forced to be the adult in a room full of manchildren and he hates it...but he also sucks it up and does it anyway. Because he is Paul McCartney and being the foundation of The Beatles and cleaning up John's messes is exactly what he signed up for and he will do it because no one else can. I think of this one all the time. It lives rent free in my head.

Red Sky - thinkpink20. What I appreciate about thinkpink20 is that she is brave enough to let John be absolutely awful but she also humanizes him so you can see his inner pain and confusion driving that horribleness. This is a nice one where John is no where near to figuring himself out but Paul is, and then when Stuart's living shadow gets into the mix, no one is happy.

From Barcelona To Santa Cruz - thinkpink20. Another post-Spain fic but this time John articulates his defense well which of course humiliates and angers Paul even further because John proves he is human and capable of empathy, which Paul didn't want to write into the equation.

the crane wife - mynamesbetty. Betty was showing me the first drafts of this one and all I could say was: "Paul is a horrible person. He's a fucking homewrecker. He deserves this." That's what I like best about this story. Paul is a selfish asshole and he hurts everyone and himself by being self centered, petulant, and cowardly. Every single awful thing that happens to him is strictly the result of his own actions. He manages to make himself the Coyote in a Looney Tunes cartoon including the bit where he runs straight off the cliff, doesn't realize it, and then looks down just as he starts falling before he shoots the viewer a look asking for help. And then the ACME anvil falls on him.

So those are my recommendations on Paul whump. It ended up being a longer list than I expected so that's something. Hope you enjoy the recommendations and please check out the other fanfics by these authors, they're all great.

#the beatles #paul mccartney #mclennon #fanfiction #fanfiction recommendation #fanfiction rec list #fanfic rec #paul whump

[dawnbreakersgaze]

Dr Greyson headcanons pt 3

🩺 Romantic & NSFW 🧸 MDNI 🔞

Once again, nobody asked but at this point all of this is just for me anyways and I graciously tag it so yall can block it 😂 Regardless, I have a lot of fun with these so I'll keep making them~ As said before, a lot of these are based on the limited info we get of Grey in game, while the rest is pulled right from my brain based on my own history with personality and character analysis. You don't have to agree with any of it. 💜 ps- it's a long one folks. Per usual I like to yap about this man A LOT so yeahhh

☤ Warnings: obv MDNI for 18+ content. Reader is femme coded afab (will do a m/m one if there is a want) Breath play, teasing, size kink if you squint real hard, oral (f receiving), mild cardiophilia, public sex-ish (his office).

Part 1 sfw part 2 sfw

This man doesn't really flaunt his money the way most people in his salary bracket do, he just doesn't care to, but what he does flaunt is you. Expect the most unabashed pampering of your life with Greyson. Work has been hard? Spa day. Life has you down? He booked you and your BFF a week vacation getaway for some you time. Feeling lonely? He'll try to take some time off and you can demand anything of him. He might not always be able to give you his undivided attention (work be like that) but he will always make sure you know you're loved.

On the mornings he gets to stay home and wake up with you, he's a cuddle hog. Good luck getting out of his clutches. He works out so you can't escape the iron grip. Truly though, it's so, so soft. The epitome of a switch, he'll take big or little spoon. If he's wrapped around you, with your head resting on his bicep and your legs intertwined at the knees and ankles, expect his hand to be firmly placed over your heart. If he's the one safely tucked away against you, then please, please run your fingers through his hair and leave little kisses on his shoulders. Or put your ear to his back and listen to the deep rhythm of his heartbeat and breathing, and hear his soft chuckle reverberate through him when he tells you how much your hands on his sides tickle.

The playful banter in this relationship is a communication staple. Accidentally said "you too!" When your waiter told you to enjoy your food? He's absolutely going to remind you of that the next day. But he can take it (and expects to! Please tease him back it's his ACTUAL love language) just as well as he dishes it. That one time he misheard your friend's introduction and called them by the wrong name for an entire day? Yeah, definitely never let him live that down.

There is always music during mundane activities, and he WILL dance poorly to it, and he WILL ask you to dance with him. Don't break his heart, no one is watching while you fold laundry in your living room, just laugh at his two left feet with him and have a really terrible dance party together.

So. Many. Outdoor. Dates. I hope you like nature because this man wants to show you ALL OF IT. Picnics at all the Linkon parks, walking all the nature trails with him and Archie, camping at all their 'special spots', hell, he'll be happy to teach you to fish too if you've never been. You thought looking at the stars with Xav on a rooftop in the city was nice, just wait until you see them from the top of the hidden hillside at Grey's favorite camping spot. Brightest you've ever seen them before in your life.

Despite how much he disliked cooking while he was single, he likes doing it a lot more with a partner. If you are someone who enjoys cooking and doesn't mind Greyson turning the mixing spoons and spatulas into drumsticks, a microphone, butt slappers, and anything else he can think of at the time, then he will be a lovely (and enthusiastic) helper. Ask him to cut the veggies and meat especially so you can hear his speel about how good he is with a knife. He's been waiting to tell you that one for AGES and he might explode otherwise. (If you ALSO hate cooking however, you're both fucked lol. RIPperoni to you both when his mom hears y'all live on takeout no matter how healthy it is.)

His love language is quality time, with affirmations being a close second. When I tell you that this man just wants to share all of life's experiences with you, be it at home or abroad, he doesn't care so long as he's in your company. He'll take baking at home with you over an expensive vacation, but as long as you're there, he'll go where you lead him without hesitation. His chatty nature also means he's both giving a lot of affirmations, as well as seeking them. Within the affirmations of always reminding you how wonderful you are and how much he loves you, Grey is also The King of pep talks and talking you through your worries and woes. Lay your head on his chest and tell him everything that fills your heart and head with heaviness and let him untangle and unravel the threads with you. And at the end of it all, tell him he treats you well, won't you please? He could use the same soft treatment as well. He bears his burdens with a quick laugh and an easy smile, but they're still heavy. Remind him that he's doing a good job and that you love him for who he is- every single part of him. Especially the ones he hides away.

Just, so much laughter. Everything about a relationship with Greyson is about not taking yourself or life too seriously and letting yourself enjoy the time you have together. He knows he's busy, he knows he spends too much time away from you at work. So he works extra hard on his time off to make up for it, to fill the time you do have together with incredible memories and cherished moments that he hopes fill you with warmth and happiness that can keep you company until he can get back. And when he's not around, he's sending you silly videos and memes and jokes and other things that remind him of you to keep your spirits up when he's got a 5 second reprieve from his busy schedule. He'll send all sorts of goofy selfies, many of himself but also lots of the Akso staff you know and all their shenanigans (HIPPA whompst lol) and share aaaalllllllllll the Akso Tea Time drama with you as it unfolds. Even if he's gone a lot, he keeps you as connected to his daily life as he possibly can.

I said earlier that teasing was his love language, but it goes hand in hand with the affirmations really. The teasing is more frequent than say, Rafayel, but it's also less harmful, and by that I mean there is less BITE. Grey will nEVeR target an insecurity or sore spot knowingly to get a rise, and if he does so on accident, you will get the most sincere apology of your life (followed by a very mature conversation about said insecurity if you wanna talk about it because he wants you to know how much he loves you regardless of whatever it is.) The teasing should be fun and lighthearted. If it isn't done with a smile and a laugh, especially laughing at yourself, then it isn't the kind he's keen to participate in.

Will not hesitate to hoist you into his arms or haul you over his shoulder (assuming you're smaller than him, of course) if you're being bratty or downright silly. Sometimes even in public, depending on the situation (mind you, this is all in good fun, 100% playful). The reason he keeps so fit is so he can wrangle you when you get too big for your britches.

But make no mistake. This man folds easier than a camping chair made out of wet receipt paper if you turn the tables on him. Grey acts all confident and cocksure when he thinks he's got the upper hand, but all it takes is your hand on his upper thigh under the table out on a date, or a bold statement of intent (tell him how nice his ass looks in those new pants and how much you wanna see him out of them, I dare you, I double dog dare you), maybe even take a page put of his book and take a confident step into his personal space, grab him by the collar and pull him to your level, and watch him crumple. It's so much worse if you maintain eye contact through it all too. Stare into those bright blue eyes and enjoy the show of him falling apart in your arms. When it comes to flirting, he can dish it, but man, can he NOT take it. 0/10 resilience.

Now that your Greyson has melted faster than ice cream on a hot summer's day, you have roughly one (1) minute to do whatever you want before he snaps out of it. He is putty. Jello. Boneless. But DO NOT GET COMPLACENT. If you happen to activate The Horny™ in that time frame and falter or let go of the reins, the only thing that's getting folded now is you.

God is this man a Tease with a capital T. We've already established that in your regular lives, but during sex? He wants to hear you say exactly (in explicit detail even) how badly you want him, what his touch does to you, and how crazy you're going to go if he doesn't stop ghosting his fingers over your achingly sensitive clit and just touch you already! But you can't get too mad at him, not when his lips are on your jaw and that sweet laugh of his resonates through the both of you and he finally, finally gives you what you want and curls one and then another of those long dexterous fingers inside your welcoming walls while his thumb apologizes with haste for the previous slight to your poor neglected bud. "Ah- no need to get upset my love, you know all you had to do was ask politely." That's a lie of course. No matter how softly he says it, his impish little smile says it all.

He will do everything in his power to keep connected to your heartbeat. Call it a kink if you want, maybe it is, but it's more of a connection point to him. Sometimes it's him grabbing your wrists and pinning them above your head with his thumb pressed firm to the pulse point on the radial artery. Or his hand tightly gripping the crook of your thigh for the deep thrum of your femoral artery while he has you caged against him on his desk. Other times, he's got you in a mating press, mouth to your ear telling you how good you are to him, for him, while his hand is securely squeezing your calf for your tibial artery. But Kay, you say. What about the most obvious one? The easiest one? The throat. The carotid artery. It'll take a little convincing (not much, just tell him you trust him with your whole heart) and those skilled surgeon's hands will be put to very, very good use. Grey to too conscious of you, of his most precious person, to ever leave marks on your beautiful neck or risk hurting you. As a physician with extensive knowledge of the complex cardiovascular AND pulmonary systems, he knows exactly how much pressure is required to feel the beautiful rhythmic beats of your heart. If you ask it of him, the first time he wraps his hand around your throat, feels that immediate surge in your pulse, and you let out an airy little gasp, it's all over for him. "... well shit-" he'll groan in that cute little drawl of his.

Thanks to that little discovery, breath play is also absolutely on the menu if you're into it. As stated above, he knows all the signs to look for and is very VERY cautious with you. You'll have to encourage it, but once he gets to see how much you enjoy it, and how beautiful you look all dazed out on his cock with your throat fitting into his hand so perfectly, he'll get it. Grey probably didn't even realize he had a bit of a fixation until then either, but he loves to see how his larger palm and longer fingers - that are what make him such an adept surgeon - so nicely encompass your neck. At some point, he'll buy you a very nice piece of jewelry, something subtle to remind you of his hands, but elegant enough none would be the wiser when you wore it out. He especially loves it when you keep in on at the end of the night, the only things covering you are that little golden hand, and his.

A man that talks this much and laughs this hard without passing out has legendary head skills, and I will die on this hill. Jaw and tongue muscle endurance for days and that's damn near canonical. Tell him to put that tongue to good use instead of yapping at you, and he will happily show you why you should be careful what you wish for (after he's picked himself up off the floor, that is). He'll have you on your back with your knees over his shoulders, hands lifting your hips up into the air to meet him, and tongue so deep you'll be seeing stars soon. Just take care when you look up, because those smiling blue eyes will be fixed right on yours. He's going to savor every part of this from your taste and feel, to your sounds and expression. This is a feast, and like any proper country boy, he will say grace by worshiping at the source. He really likes it when you get both hands in his hair and lock your ankles behind his head when you're close. Not that he would dare move away (oh yes he would, he's done it before just to see you beg and whine a little), but your desperation has him smiling all the way through your orgasm. That cheeky fuck. But sometimes, he gets lost in it too. Too many overnight shifts, too many doubles, he hasn't been able to properly appreciate you in too many days. So he makes a little quip about you taking a ride (something something save a horse, of course) and the next thing you know you're smothering your dear beloved doctor in pussy - but it's okay, he practically begged for this. Greyson doesn't have a particularly large nose but the shape is oh so exquisite for face sitting, and he knows just how to rub it along your folds, diligently pressing your clit while his tongue takes great care to love and lavish every part of you it can reach. His hands aren't idol either, grabbing for the fat of your thighs, your ass, your wrists and hands, whatever can anchor him to you. If you can think straight enough to remember, thread your hands in his hair and give a little tug. Enjoy the low groan you'll pull from him, eyes slowly opening, half-lidded as that bright blue looks up at you all hazy and dazed. Now who's smiling hmm?

Vocal. As. Fuck. In multiple ways. Obviously, the teasing banter. Lots of "oh no you dont, dont hide from me" And "Hmm I didn't hear that, what did you want me to do?" Or "I don't know, should I?" All said with that signature smile and quippish tone that drives you mad and wild all at once. But once you're both tired of the little games and he's buried in your warmth trying to keep his thoughts straight, it's all praise punctuated by the delicous slap of skin to skin. "Gods you're perfect" or "Look at how well you take me Love, like I was made for you" and "Shit- keep rolling your hips like that and-". Of course, all of this is peppered with some choice expletives, though he's really not much for swearing outside of, well, you. When he gets close, you'll know it by how tight his grip on you gets and how soft his voice is. "Are you here, with me?" Nothing is sweeter than getting to hear that low drawl snag in the back of his throat when he asks you if you're close to cumming with him. Lungs too wrung out from the pace he's keeping to sound steady, each syllable is emphasized by a huff or grunt. We can't forget about the other noises - the sharp hiss he makes when your lips wrap around his length, or the shuttering moan he tries to quiet in the crook of your neck when you're slowly sinking down onto him on his office chair. Grey has a litany of wonderful noises you can pull from him. This man is rarely quiet, after all.

And at the end of it all, when you're both too tired and too boneless to get up for a warm wet rag and a glass of water, Greyson still will. There is no unending amount of stamina here. He's not a god, a demi-human, or something so strangely other. He's just A Guy. His love for you, however, is all the same. Make sure to laugh a little, when you see him wobble when he stands. Tell him he needs to do more squats so he can hold up to his own paces better. Be prepared for the pillow that gets throw at you when you do, of course. His kiss is tender when he gets back, murmurs of adoration and gratitude against your lips as he helps clean you. He is just a man, sure, but he is yours - completely.

#lnds #love and deepspace #lads #l&ds #love & deepspace #love and deep space #kay writes #lnds dr greyson #lnds greyson #lads dr. greyson #lads greyson #drgreysonmd #lnds headcanons #lads headcanons #18+ mdni #special thank you to dearest Cathy- my Pearl- for helpinf me with that center image #its so perfect and im sooooo grafeful #i hope yall like these #i spent like 4 days working on them but like i said these are mostly for me at this point lol

[bubblegyu00]

riize reactions when you're crying with the door locked ??

all luv,

- 🍓

riize reaction - crying behind a locked door

warnings - angst, crying, panic attacks, suicide joke, cursing

a/n - STOP I LOVE THIS WHAT

not proofread ...

shotaro -

you just felt so tired, and all you needed was a hug – but shotaro was never there to give you one.

you knew it wasn't his fault in any way, but you just wish he wasn't always so busy. but it's not like you could tell him that, because you know that whenever he does have that limited time off, he spends it all with you. and even if you did want to tell him, you couldn't because whenever that big smile of his appears you forget everything.

so you're currently in your bedroom crying on the floor, wondering why you couldn't just be fine without him? he does just fine without you. your thoughts get interrupted when the front door opens and you hear your boyfriend's voice echo throughout your house. " baby I'm home! " you scramble to your feet to lock the door of your bedroom. you can't let him see you like this. he shouldn't make him feel bad whenever he leaves for work. " where are you? ". your breathing stopped when he attempted to open the door and failed. " babe? ". hearing his voice this close to you immediately made you break down into uncontrollable sobs. " oh no, baby what's wrong?! " he kept attempting to open the door and you crawled into a ball on the bed. " can you open the door for me? please? " " I don't want y-you.... to see me like this " shotaro's heart broke knowing that his favorite person was crying by themselves. " baby you're beautiful no matter what. I'll always love you, so please open the door for me. hm? ". you slowly crawled off of the bed and trudged towards the door. the minute you unlocked it, he burst in and pulled you into a bone crushing hug.

don't ever do that again, I was so scared . . .

eunseok -

you flinched as your front door slammed. your boyfriend had just left after a fight you two had just had. you were just confronting him on how he was always late, or forgetting dates. " if you're gonna be always late to a date, then let's just not go on dates. " " I'm trying my hardest okay? ' you knew he was always so busy, but if he knew he wouldn't be able to keep the promises, then why'd he make them in the first place?

when eunseok finally decided to come back and apologize, he didn't see you in the spot he last saw you. he searched through the house until he heard soft cries from the bedroom. " are you in there? " eunseok said as he knocked softly. " can I come in? " you wiped your tears with the sleeves of your ( his ) sweatshirt. " go away. " eunseok moved to open the door, but the handle wouldn't budge. " honey I'm sorry, please let me in " he suddenly hated himself for leaving and not trying to work it out immediately. " I'm sorry I left, but I'm here now. just let me in princess. " when you finally opened the door, his heart broke at the sight of you. the mascara stains on your ( his ) sleeves, your red puffy eyes, your glossy lips which he could tell you've been biting. it was all his fault, so all he could do was pull you into the softest, gentlest hug he's ever given you. he kissed the top of your head and whispered into your hair

I'm sorry baby, I won't leave anymore, I promise . . .

sungchan -

you ever so slowly tried to wriggle out of your boyfriend's strong arms. he groaned and held onto you tighter in hopes you wouldn't leave. " baby I have to go shower! " " nuh uh " you giggled and kissed the top of his head before you tiptoed from your bed to the bathroom.

when all of a sudden you felt this overwhelming guilt that you didn't deserve sungchan. you could hardly breathe, and your heartbeat started picking up in pace. even the fans thought that you didn't deserve him, so why are you being selfish and holding him back? tears escaped your eyes as you focused on trying to breathe. " love? are you alright? " the ringing in your ears almost drowned out sungchan's words, but you could still hear him. " can you hear me? " your back was against the wall facing the door. you were curled up into a ball and were trying to stay silent. " c'mon babygirl, talk to me " soon enough though, sungchan had found the key to the bathroom and opened the door. he let out a shaky sigh as he saw you in the midst of a panic attack. he pulled you off of the ground and held you like a baby. you sobbed into his shoulder as he left chaste kisses on your head.

it's okay baby, channie's here . . .

wonbin -

all you wanted was a break. really, all you needed was a break. you’re boss has been making you work your ass off, and even the weekends aren’t an escape from work. working day in and day out was so tiring for you, and you it’s like you could never catch up on the work. you laid in bed on your phone, watching your friends instagram stories of them partying. oh how badly you wished you could’ve been there. before you knew it – tears were streaming slowly down your cheeks. you sniffled a bit, and tried your best to wipe them up – which failed because they felt like they’d never stop.

in the midst of everything, you heard your front door open. you started to panic until you realized it was just your boyfriend. “ surprise!! “ for a moment all of the panic left your body. you thought he’d still be on tour, but it seemed he had come home early. but all the panic hit you again when you realized your current state. you quickly locked your bedroom door and ran to the mirror to try and cover up the fact that you’d been crying. “ are you in here? “ you heard the door knob jingle as you rushed to splash cool water on your face. “ um… can I come in? “ “ one sec! “ you tucked your hair behind your ears whilst taking deep breaths. you slowly trudged over to the door and opened it, revealing wonbin’s panicked expression. “ I didn’t know you were- “ “ have you been crying? “ your heart dropped when those words left his mouth. the last thing you wanted to do was make him worried. “ no? my allergies have just been acting up- “ “ no, you’ve been crying. “ he immediately brushed the hair out of your eyes and felt the wetness on your eyelashes. “ you don’t have to lie. “ the softness of his tone brought tears back to your waterline – threatening to fall.

why’s my pretty baby crying . . . ?

seunghan -

“ can you go staple the stack of papers on my desk please? “ seunghan was currently sitting on the couch trying to get last minute things done on his laptop. “ sure. “ you got up from the couch and shuffled upstairs to his bedroom. you gathered the papers from his desk and put them into a neat file. when you went to press down on the stapler, you didn’t move your finger out of the way fast enough. now the pain of the staple in your finger wasn’t what made you panic, but the sight of it made you gag. tears gathered at your waterline as you counted from 3 mentally, in order to pull it out. once you got to 1 and the staple was out of your finger, the tears finally fell down your face. “ hannie! do you have bandaids?! “ you tried to keep your tone relaxed, but you knew it definitely sounded panicked. “ why?! “ “ uh… “ worried, seunghan stood from the couch and headed towards his room.

when you heard his footsteps, you immediately locked the door. you don’t know why you did it, but maybe it’d be better if he didn’t know the clumsy mistake you just made. “ why’d you lock the door? “ “ because! “ seunghan recognized the tone in your voice and he tried to open the door once more. “ are you crying? “ “ no! “ your boyfriend sighed and just stood outside of the door. “ [name]… open the door. “ you groaned as you put your hand onto the knob. “ if I let you in, you promise not to laugh? “ “ I promise. “ as soon as seunghan heard the click, he opened the door. when he saw your finger, he took your hand into his. “ did you staple your finger…? “ “ maybe… “ his lip quivered as he tried to hold in a laugh. “ seunghan! “ “ I’m not laughing! “ you pulled your hand away from him and scrunched your face up at him. he snorted and kissed your forehead. “ did you pull it out yourself? “ “ yes seunghan! I’m not gonna leave it in my fucking finger! “

you’re adorable . . .

sohee -

you were lying in bed next to sohee, just scrolling on tiktok. that was until you saw a video of a girl pranking her boyfriend by crying behind a locked door. you looked behind you to see if sohee was looking at your phone, but he was clueless. you slowly crawled out of bed and walked into the bathroom. you set up the camera and started sniffling.

not even a minute later, you heard the bed sheets rustle and the floorboards creak. “ are you crying? “ sohee said as he attempted to open the bathroom door. “ no.. “ “ what’s wrong baby? “ you pretended to let out sobs while you looked at the camera. “ nothing.. “ “ just tell me, hm? “ you smiled as you came up with a response. “ you said that I should dye my hair… do you think I’m ugly with my hair now? “ “ WHAT?! “ sohee’s jaw dropped as you tried to keep in your laughs. “ NO?! YOU ASKED ME IF YOU SHOULD DYE YOUR HAIR AND I SAID YOU’D LOOK GOOD EITHER WAY?! “ “ so I’m not perfect now? “ he scoffed his disbelief at your words. “ if you’re in there crying because I said you should dye your hair, I will fling myself off of the roof right now. “ you finally broke character and let out a chuckle. when you opened the door, you laughed even harder at his expression.

that wasn’t funny, I was actually worried . . .

anton -

“ sweetie pie baby face I’m home! “ anton’s voice echoed through the house as he put his stuff down. when he didn’t see the lights on downstairs, he assumed you were just laying in bed. while he was walking up the stairs, he heard soft cries come from the door. when he heard went to turn the handle, it wouldn’t budge. “ [name]? “ you were currently asleep, but having a dream about your boyfriend leaving you. “ honey? “ when you didn’t answer the second time, he went downstairs to search for the key. once he opened the door, he was relieved to see you were asleep. he sat on the bed and pulled you into his arms. your eyes fluttered open and you hugged him when realized it was just him. “ I thought you left. “ “ hm? “ anton wipes the tears off of your chin as you smiled up at him.

“ in my dream you left me. “ your boyfriend kissed the top of your head and chuckled. “ he really fumbled then, ‘dunno what he was thinking. “ you shook your head while cuddling into his chest.

I would never leave you, I promise . . .

#bubblegy00 #kpop #riize #anton #sohee #seunghan #wonbin #sungchan #eunseok #shotaro #riize anton #anton riize #riize sohee #sohee riize #riize seunghan #seunghan riize #riize wonbin #wonbin riize #riize sungchan #sungchan riize #riize eunseok #eunseok riize #riize shotaro #shotaro riize #riize ff #anton ff #sohee ff #seunghan ff #wonbin ff #sungchan ff

[lostinvasileios]

im sorry if i sound insecure or something but have you ever been in a place where you couldnt explain your relationship or practice to people that much because you dont have the words for it? like i want to tell someone about how much i love my deities but i cant really describe anything about why i do or something without feeling sort of stupid because i cant phrase it right, does that make sense? im sorry if thats hard to understand

Greetings, love bee!! ‧₊˚❀༉‧₊˚. Thank you for sending in your ask. 💛🌷

So, yes, actually. I have. I actually still feel that way. In my own journey, that's been a feeling I've had pretty much the entire time. My emotions always felt so much more profound than my vocabulary could keep up with. No matter how many big and beautiful words I found, they never truly could capture the essence of it and I hated that for so long when I was beginning. Having urges to share the beauty you've gone through or whatever is normal during practicing.

But… That's not a bad thing, bee. As I've come to learn, that - only makes it more special. I get it can be annoying, but you don't owe anybody an explanation to anything about your path or things relating to it.

A thing I had to learn pretty quickly (like 6-7 months into my practice) was that... Your path isn't really... Meant to be understood by anybody else other than you. I mean, this is what mine is like at least. I can't truly immerse anyone into what my life is like or has been like with my deities, because they won't be able to remember it the way I can. They can't feel the exact, or most likely even similar, emotions I did - in the way I did - because... It didn't happen for them. My deities said that to me, they showed that to me, they did this and that for/to me. Just as, their deities did that for them and they got to experience things I did not and probably won't.

Now, there are of course times where I or you will find others who can relate on certain levels, swap stories and see the similarities, and so forth. However, you two can give each other as many details as you can muster and as basically humanly possible, but - at the end of the day... That experience is yours alone. Their experience, is theirs alone.

And that's - beautiful to me, honestly.

It really helps me realize just how - unique... How truly special this all is. There are details about my practice that nobody besides me and my deities will ever understand, and though I sometimes wish to share them with others - some things are simply meant to stay with the experiencer & those involved within the experience. Some things are just either not going to be well received, well understood, well liked, ect. Some things are just - safer with you and your deities. Which is why the saying "keep the personal details to yourself" exists within witchy communities.

Another thing is that languages as a whole can be very limiting even with all the beautiful words that you can find. Grammar rules too. Me and my deities often break things like language or grammar to better communicate, because - we understand each other. The meaning behind our made up words or complex grammar style, almost like our own language. You can try to mix up your own way of telling someone about your deities and the bond you have, the knowledge you've gained and the experiences or theories you have gotten over the time you've practiced, but, it might be confusing. And more than often, if someone is confused, they can get angry. They can begin to invalidate you. Ect.

But, at the same time, you're also entitled to speak about it even if little to nobody understands it. You're allowed to be confusing and make language whatever you need it to be to get your point across and satisfy those desires to share. If you want to, nobody's really stopping you. And, you might just meet someone who can understand certain extents, or be similar to you. That in itself is kind of why we even have religion or the knowledge of deities in the first place. Because someone went out and preached it, someone brave went and documented it for others to learn.

I think I yapped a bit here, sorry about that, bee, lol. Hopefully I made some form of sense here. Enjoy your path and may no evil follow you, loveling! 🤍🤍

#witchcraft #deities #deity work #deity witch #witch advice #helpol #hellenic pagan #hellenic gods #hellenism #hellenic #hellenic polytheism #pagan witch #paganism #pagan #pagan deities #mother witch advice #beginner witch tips #beginner witch