#I dont know much of anything really. that's the sad part. and the adults who were supposed to help me learn... didnt. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

normansnt · 2 months

Note

Could I request a third part of the prince? I love it!

YES OMG YOU ARE MY FIRST REQUEST HIIII THANK YOU SM IM HAPPY YOU LIKE IT🧡🧡

Yeah I might have forgot to mention I do in fact take requests😎

Actually ya'll have been loving the prince series and I was wondering if you want me to making it into like a full blown story like following the series events and what not, or like just a little series of cute scenarios?

Let me know.

Warnings:

The prince (part 3)

(Alastor x male reader)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Currently you were arguing with your father. Since the moment he found out you are dating Alastor he was not happy, to say the least.

"Why the sudden urge to leave? Is it not good here anymore because I can clean up the rubber ducks-"

"No dad thats not the point I just think I'm old enough to move out and Charlie has her hotel with a lot of rooms, and I mean I guess her dream is not that impossible-"

"Yeah right, like I'm going to believe that you just want to move in with that bambi of yours" he scoffed

"Dont call him- thats not- ok fine yeah, I want to move in with Alastor why is that such a problem I am a grown ass adult I can do as I please." And with that you left the room to pack.

--------------------------------------------------------------

"I swear, he still thinks I am a kid." You were pacing in Alastor's room while he was sitting on a couch and calmly drinking tea.

"He let Charlie go?? Why not me why cant I do what I want with my life" you continued your angry ranting while unpacking you clothes.

At this point you were basically moved in with Alastor. You had all your stuff there you just needed to unpack, which he solved with a flick of his wrist. You could have done that too, but your father raised both you and your sister to not be careless with the amount of power you have, also you were busy rambling.

"*sigh*...thank you honey." You said quietly as you took a seat next to him slumping into the couch.

Alastor looked at you. Till now he was just half listening to you ramble and he thought you would feel better once you let it out and you two could cuddle but right now you looked even more sad, defeated even.

This did not sit right with him. If there was anything he hated most was seeing you sad or hurt.

He took a hold of your hand and put his other one on your cheek to guide your head to look at him.

"My dear, this issue will be resolved just as any other, you will make up with your father." He reassured you with a smile.

"I know but than it will start again, and I'm starting to feel like he will never accept you even though you are so important to me and... it's just too much right now, I'm sorry I need to be alone." And with that you left.

There it was again. That stinging feeling in his chest. Alastor had to take matters into his own hands.

--------------------------------------------------------------

You walked down the stairs and took a seat by the bar.

"Damn kid, rough day?" Asked Husk as you put your head into your hands and groaned.

"Thats one way to put it, can you please get me a whisky on the rocks" you said in your ever so kind voice.

Husk liked you. On contrary to your father and older sister you were calm, quiet and well spoken. All this while still having the heart of gold they have as well.

He never understood how a charming young man such as yourself would find himself in a relationship with a demon like Alastor.

During your numerous visits to the Hotel you have talked to Husk a lot and you two became really good friends. The same went for Angel who usually joined you guys. You three usually sat by the bar chatting for hours.

"Hi (Y/N)," you heard Angels voice approaching as you sipped on your whisky. He took a seat next to you and shared a quick kiss with Husk. You chuckled to yourself quietly, you have been rooting for the two from the very beginning and when they finally got together you were so happy you shedded a few tears.

"Hi Angel" you gave him a small smile but he saw through it.

"Aww, toots hard times?" He asked as Husk handed him his drink.

"It's a long story" you answered.

"We got time" said Husk encouragingly.

You smiled a little than started telling the story.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Alastor was on his way to find Charlie. He needed to solve the situation or he had to gauge his own eyes out so he doesn't have to see you sad.

He figured if he got your father to come to the hotel you can talk things out. As well as, he is going to try and make an effort not to be a complete ass with him but Lucifer has to try and be nice as well, for your sake.

He needed Charlie for this because if Alastor asked Lucifer to come he would not. However if Charlie asked, he'd be there in a second.

"Oh Charlie?" He wondered into the princess's room.

"Yes? OH Alastor HI how is my brother doing?" She asked with excitement. She was more than thrilled that her little brother is going to move into her hotel.

"Not so well I'm afraid I acquire your assistance to make him feel better"

"What? Whats the problem is he ok? Did you hurt him? Alastor I do not care how helpful you are around here if you hurt my little brother-" Her eyes started glowing red as her hair was swept into the air and her horns started to show.

Before this could go any further Alastor cut her off.

"My dear, rest assured I would kill hell's entire population and my self before causing any harm to your darling brother." He said calmly.

"Oh, then whats the problem?" Asked Charlie now calm.

And so Alastor explained everything to Charlie.

When Alastor and Charlie knocked on her father's door there was no answer. They looked at one another and Charlie checked if it was open. It was, so they could go in without problems.

"Hello? Dad?" Yelled Charlie as her voice echoed in the huge mansion.

"YOU, It's your fault you took them away from me" they heard as they looked to their right.

In seconds Alastor was tackled to the floor with a very angry Lucifer on top.

When Charlie registered what she was seeing she started to pull her father off of the Radio demon to almost no avail. The devil wouldn't budge.

"YOU TOOK BOTH OF MY CHILDREN AWAY FROM ME ARE YOU HAPPY NOW IS THAT ENOUGH?"

Lucifer was not happy. He was yelling in his demon form wings out and fire spewing from his mouth.

"DAD"

Everyone stopped. You were standing in the door looking at the scene before you, baffled.

You rarely raised your voice, so to hear it this loud and clear shocked most people in the room.

You cleared your throat. And said in your normal calm voice again.

"Can we talk in private."

Lucifer calmed down and followed you into the room you left to.

When he entered the room to his surprise, you hugged him.

"Listen dad, I understand that both of your kids growing up is hard for you, and I'm sorry for leaving you alone but I need my space I'm starting to live my life and its with Alastor because I love him."

You said in a very gentle tone.

Your dad looked at you for some time then hugged you again.

"You really love him, kiddo?" He looked at you with understanding eyes as he let go.

"I do, dad I really do." You answered.

Your dad sighed. He took a hold of your hands.

"All that matters to me is that you are happy. I'm sorry I have been such a jerk about it but...it's so hard to let you kids go, you will always be my babies" He sniffed lightly.

You chuckled at that and squeezed his hands.

"Can you please make an effort to not hate Alastor?" You tried.

He groaned.

"Yeah, yeah I'll see what I can do but he needs to be cooperative"

You walked out of the room.

Charlie stood up with tears in her eyes and hugged you both.

"Oh...the walls are thin here aren't they?" You asked as you looked at your dad.

"Yeaaah, forgot to mention that."

"You guys, I'm so happy you made up are we ok now?" She asked between sniffles.

"Yeah, we are ok" you smiled at your dad.

After your sister let you go from her crushing embrace Alastor walked up to you.

"I- listen no pressure about saying-" he cut you off by swapping you off your feet into a breathtaking kiss.

"I...I love you too, darling" he said quietly, without the radio statics, he said it in his real voice, as he put his forehead on yours.

"OK, see, I promised to be nice but there is no need to rub it in my face" your father said as he dragged you away.

Alastor straightened up and, with the static back in his voice and an eye twitching, he held his hand out to your father.

"I promise to make an effort to not murder you" he smiled eerily at your dad.

Lucifer had a brooding expression on his face but shook the radio demons hand none the less.

"Thank you." You said at last as you hugged both of them. They hugged you back. While glaring at each other behind your back.

Sure they are gonna make an effort. When you're looking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

TADA

I really hope you like it again thank you for the request.

Also please let me know if y'all want any of what I mentioned in the beginning.

When Alastor's staff broke and he started talking w/o the statics I was ON MY KNEES.

I WANNA THANK EVERY SINGLE ON OF YOU WHO LIKE MY STORIES THEY HAVE RECEIVED A LOT OF LOVE AND IM THANKFUL BEYOND IMAGINATION THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU💗💗

OK LOVE YOU HAVE A NICE DAY/NIGHT/MORNING WHATEVER MWUAH💋

#male reader #hazbin x reader #hazbin x you #hazbin hotel x male reader #male y/n #hazbin alastor x reader #alastor x male reader #hazbin alastor

298 notes · View notes

am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months

Note

AITA for asking my RP partners to censor their swearing better? This sounds so dumb because it is. I (17) roleplay on a kids pokemon adoptable site. No swearing is #1 on the rules. I’m fine with this because I really hate swearing myself, even in writing. Most of my rp partners are upper teens because we all have like 0 life and have been on this site for years (2-8) years. I have been on this site since I was 10 so I know the law pretty well. Recently, I’ve been having problems with some of them.

I have brought up my dislike of swearing (Honestly, for the most part I’m fine with reading swears, just I don’t want any of them to be in trouble with the mods) multiple times. Usually in the form of “Hey guys can you censor your swearing more?”

Today though, one character went on a long (albeit dramatic and unneeded) rant, and in it used two swears. Fucking and Bitch. They were censored as such fxcking and bxtch.

I bring this up in the group chat saying “Guys p l e a s e censor your swears a lot more” <— admittedly dramatic, I wanted to get my point since it seemed like they were ignoring me.

One of my partners (17?), the one who posted the rant, questioned how I would like them to censor it, bringing up how the censored swears don’t show up on the foul language filter provided in the rules (it’s known for a while to be faulty, such as saying pony was offensive for containing the German word po).

I told them that I would prefer them to not swear at all (The rules never say that censored swears are allowed), but that if they felt the absolute need for a character to swear (I don’t understand why, but again, I don’t like to swear so I dont get much of a say), to at least censor it in a way it is not instantly recognizable. My line of thinking was things as ****ing, ***hole, et.c.

Two other partners joined in, expressing sadness over not being able to swear (again. This is a chILDRENS SITE.) They all apologized for the swearing but. They’ve done it before. They felt annoyed. The final nail in the coffin was in the next post from the rant charater (directed towards mine) contained: “I'd express the depths of my hurt and anger, but you'd disapprove if the vocabulary it would require.”

My character has no qualms against swearing or foul language. It was a jab directly targeted at me.

So I guess, was I in the wrong? I know it’s a silly situation, but I genuinely don’t want them to get warned or even temp banned for breaking the rules (It’s well known that the mods are kinda crap at doing anything)

Additional info: even though we’re almost adults, it doesnt speak for the intention of the website. For example one of my partners (also one of the swearers) has only recently turned 13. When we first started interacting, they were 11. These are also not the first instances of swearing, but the first instance of what people would consider the bigger swears.

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

154 notes · View notes

imakemywings · 7 months

Note

SO SO SORRY BEING NEGATIVE IN YOUR ASKbox but It's the fact that Elrond continued the tradition of honoring Thingol by naming his twin sons Elladan and Elrohir, as well as the canonical references of ways Elrond and Elros honored their parents (by wearing their colors, the symbols, and the names!), that makes me so so so salty about the way people never write Elrond being proud of his sindar lineage. It's always noldor this, feanorian star that, that has me reeling so much, its so popular that has me rolling my eyes and thats coming from a die-hard feanorian fan, like it gets exhausting when it keeps getting pushed that Elrond bashes his mom and dad and wears the symbol of his peoples murderers, as well as hate his moms lineage, like the book says he dont, what the hell?

gjkndsgkbjnb Anon you can only imagine the amount of salt I keep off this blog by being privately salty in DMs XD

But yeah I agree...at this point I'm veeeery hesitant to read any Elrond fic by Silm fans that hasn't been vetted and approved by someone I know because I'm so weary of coming across Feanorian Elrond and Elrond-who-literally-calls-Elwing-a-bitch and Elrond who gets angry with people who justifiably do not love the Feanorians, etc.

At the very least, these sorts of takes never seem to address the devastating cultural loss that Elrond and Elros experience. Even if we want to assume the best about Maglor's ability to raise them, he simply lacks the knowledge to make up for that. What does he know of Iathrim traditions? He never even saw Doriath, except when he showed up to kill everyone. What does he know of Edanic customs, or anything of mortal life? What does he know of Gondolin, where the distinction between Sindar and Noldor all but disappeared? Elrond and Elros are isolated from anyone who might be able to help them understand their parents' cultures and their own heritage (Gil-galad, Oropher, Cirdan, etc.) and so they grow up without that knowledge, and that's just always so sad to me. I'm sure it has an impact on Elrond's later interest in collecting knowledge.

All of this is compounded, of course, by the fact that Maglor and Maedhros are quite literally responsible for the virtual extinction of the Iathrim and the total destruction of the unique culture at the Havens of Sirion.

yadda yadda opinions under the cut

These takes also rarely reckon with how disturbing Feanorian Elrond is from an assimilation perspective. Here we have a couple of young children, from a culture whose people have already been attacked, slaughtered, and driven from their homelands by the Feanorians, who experience a second such attack from those same people, who lose their parents, who are taken from any other adult in their lives who might have nurtured them, by two people who know nothing about their culture(s)...and it's supposed to be cute, the idea that Elrond prefers to speak Quenya? It's supposed to show how he ~loved~ Maglor, that he was raised so alienated from his own cultures that he prefers that of his kidnappers, of his family and people's murderers (the very people who so alienated him)? It's actually really, really sad.

And obviously these takes rarely genuinely address the trauma that Maedhros and Maglor caused Elrond and Elros, or the ongoing trauma of being raised by the people with the blood of your mother and your neighbors and your friends all over their hands. Sure, I can buy Elrond pitying them and even forgiving them eventually--but Feanorian Elrond who thinks they did nothing wrong feels like a joke.

I think of course that a large part of this is just because fans love the Feanorians and the Noldor and many of them are not interested in the Sindar (and Thingol is deeply unpopular, primarily for not getting along with the Feanorians), so they are not interested in exploring Elrond's canonical attachment to his Sindar heritage and the line of Thingol. Which is too bad! I love the Sindar and I think it's great that Elrond's biggest attachment to his heritage is to the Umanyar part, not the Amanyar part, and Elros' to the mortal part, not the immortal part. They both chose what some might (wrongly) call the "lesser" part of their heritage, and I love them for that.

In many cases I think Elrond is used as a morality pet for Maedhros and Maglor, in that if Elrond, beloved the world around, adores and champions and defends the Feanorians, then no one can defensibly dislike them. Which circles back into something about discourse surrounding liking ~problematic~ characters...you CAN actually admit the Feanorians committed multiple mass slaughters and stole two children (and killed a minimum of two others) and still like them. I do.

But also, as someone else on tumblr more eloquently pointed out, even if Elrond did feel something like this...he's tactful enough to be aware how much pain and suffering the Feanorians caused the Elves of Middle-earth, and he would never shove the Feanorians in their faces or think it was funny to watch them flinch hearing a Feanorian accent (a h/c I've actually seen) (apart from the fact that I really doubt the Feanorians continued using the thorn past the first few decades in Middle-earth).

To me, Feanorian Elrond just comes across as a clumsy attempt to redeem Maglor and Maedhros and I'm not interested in that, at the end of the day. I'm far more interested in Elrond's complicated relationship with them and his willingness or desire to hold them to account for the reality of what they did to him and his family, while also reckoning with his childhood attachment to the only adults he was permitted to grow attached to.

#asks #anonymous #anon if you ever exhaust my ability to be salty I will be amazed #mine

70 notes · View notes

suffarustuffaru · 3 months

Note

What do you think would’ve happened if Heinkel had been the one to fall into a coma instead of Louanna? I just think the potential of that is very juicy because like that completely changes the Astrea family dynamics!

oh i ADORE this idea so much!!! arghhh i love astrea family dynamics so much and i really really like each member - though of course i hope we learn more about louanna soon!!! im so curious about her and everyone in the family BUT her is at least decently fleshed out already!! but yes okay this idea is great and also Everyone in these reddit threads have brainstormed all kinds of ideas for Other Astrea Members Falling Comatose (heinkel, reinhard, theresia, or wilhelm) far far better than i could so if anyone seeing this hasnt seen those i highly recommend reading!! super fun ideas going on <3

but yeah my quick two cents on heinkel specifically going comatose is that, like people have mentioned in those threads that stuff would happen differently. marcos doesnt rejoin the royal guard, reinhard probably doesnt get the dp of mind changing, wilhelm might die to the whale instead since heinkel isnt around to get sent on a suicide mission and wilhelm Would Not Back Down from that, etc etc. or did theresia get sent to kill the whale right away while wilhelm like in canon went to deal with the royal family?? that sort of thing.

i think ultimately we dont 100% know what would happen on the louanna side of things just because. we dont know anything about how she was as a person hah so hard to predict!! but i think things would probablyy turn out a little better given everything i just mentioned. and also the bar for how canon went is super low anyway aljsdfl. but yeah i mean louanna seems like she might cope a little better (i mean. shes Probablyy not the type to fall into alcoholism right haha). or she might Also Cope Badly, depending on how you wanna interpret this. and depending on how louanna turns out to be as a person. and Someone is still gonna die to the whale probably. so things are Not That Great and also heinkel being comatose means he wont be head of the house. louanna in this situation either way would need to take charge - both in the sense that uh, in the end it'll just be her and one of reinhard's grandparents left around, and also in the sense that she is reinhards only parent left now. and also reinhard Might get a bit more pressure to hurry into the royal guard sooner. he'll get compared to his comatose MIA dad im sure :(( esp since heinkel is. frozen in time.

theres Always something chilling about how in canon, long term sleeping beauty syndrome victims are just. Stuck. in time. forever frozen. never aging a single day from the moment they were gone. thats Haunting. thats like living with a ghost thats still there. and in this au itd be heinkel!! heinkel whos still at his prime and hasnt truly had a permanent failure yet (losing his mom to the whale, losing louanna to a coma, etc etc), and of course like canon heinkel, louannas left to pick up the pieces which is always really sad to me :(( she and heinkel were young too when all of this started to go wrong T^T like Still Adults, of course, but still young!! like shes 21 and hes 22 T^TT wild stuff.

also i do agree with people who said that louanna might just wack reinhard over the head for kidnapping felt like that. 1000%.

anyway!!! astrea family drama still goes Wrong i think somehow, in another font, if heinkel or anyone else is the one that gets put into a coma :(( it might be better or worse depending on what happens!! and depending on who gets comatose and who Dies!! but yes i think everything goes a bit wrong either way :(( they can never win T^T but itd shift dynamics around every time which is the fun part!!

#rezero #re:zero #would be fucking funny though if the astreas all joined different camps again. theyre collecting camps like pokemons and the camps are #collecting astreas #louanna can join. ana ig. idk. but i do love the fan idea that in timelines where the astreas are on better terms they just!! decide to joi #different camps so their chances of getting dragon blood to help heal Whoevers Comatose In The Family is higher!!#thats such a sweet subversion ;-;;;#reinhard van astrea #louanna astrea #heinkel astrea #ask

24 notes · View notes

keii-starz · 26 days

Note

answer any or all I wanna know more about you 👁️👁️

Do you have freckles?

Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it?

What was the last song you listened to?

Do you sleep on your back, stomach or side?

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

Do you prefer drawing or writing?

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with?

What’s your favorite band/artist?

When is your birthday?

How tall are you?

What color are your eyes?

Who are five (or more) people you want to hug right now?

Fears?

What’s your favorite color?

What’s your favorite season?

Want any tattoos? What of?

Want any piercings? Where?

Who is the last person you texted?

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends?

What/who do you miss?

How was your day today?

How much sleep did you get last night?

Do you believe in aliens?

When was the last time you cried? Why?

What’s your favorite decade?

What are some seemingly childish things you like?

What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times?

How are you, really?

Does it take you a long time to make decisions?

What are you looking forward to in the near future?

What are you looking forward to in the distant future?

If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?

Do you sleep with your door open or closed?

What’s your favorite flower?

Do you currently have a squish?

Do you like your middle name?

Do you prefer dogs or cats?

Do you have any phobias?

Do you stay up late?

Do you like the beach? Do you prefer it sunny or cloudy?

What’s your favorite cartoon?

Tag 5 of your favorite blogs

Do you have siblings? How many?

Who was the last person you said “I love you” to?

Is there anyone you would die for?

What do you need when you’re sad?

Have you memorized your phone number?

Who’s someone you can trust with your life?

What does your last text say?

Wild Card. Any question, ask away.

1. I wish (no) 😔

2. I drink both!!! but I don't drink coffee that often, and when I do, it's only if it has milk and sugar in it! when I drink tea, I usually drink milk tea, or I add milk to my matcha tea, but sometimes I just drink regular tea!

3. DAYDREAM by HIGHLIGHT!!!

4. I sleep on my back, but I actually prefer sleeping on my side!! I just dont sleep on my side most of the time because I sleep with headphones on, and its kinda uncomfortable sleeping on my side with headphones on

5. yes!! my little teddy bear that I got from my bestie!!! I named him lucy

6. hmm I love both a lot, but I'd say drawing!

7. ummm it doesn't really matter for me but I'll say teo because of my blanket I've had since childhood (its too small to cover me now so ofc I have to use another blanket)

8. hmm for band, it'd be LUCY!!! (K-band) I think the violin in their music makes their songs sound even nicer! but my fav part is obv sangyeop's soft voice :3

but for artists in general...hmm there's quite a few, so I'll name them by language! 1. CRAVITY (korean boy group), ZICO (korean soloist, k-hiphop), COLDE (korean soloist, k-r&b), 2. yoh kamiyama (japanese), TUYU (japanese band), 3. jeremy zucker, suggi (english)

9. february 11!

14. sage green!!

15. autumn! not too cold or hot, and not as much bugs!

19. I do! we've been friends since 4th grade!

21. it was great!!! I had so much fun and got to eat a lot of good food!!

24. sometime last week, I think tuesday..I think it had smth to do with my insecurities or like. how I keep getting the feeling I'm not wanted

28. my mental and physical states both suck a ton, but since I've returned home for spring break, im trying to convince myself to not worry about anything and just think of this as a lil vacation just until this is over

31. im definitely looking forward to moving out of my mom's house or just not staying with my family in general...I want to get an apartment where I feel relaxed at when I turn into an adult

32. if I could go anywhere right now...I would probably go to my aunt's house in florida..tbh, I wouldn't say her cooking's (sorry auntie 😔) the best, but I'd probably feel way...calmer? there and less likely to cry so often

34. my favorite flower is the star of bethlehem!!! it's really really pretty!!! im pretty sure it's a poisonous flower tho lol

39. all the time 😊

42. I prefer cloudy days! sunny days are nice, but I don't like getting the sun in my eyes very much, plus the sky is prettier with clouds :3

44. 5 of my fav blogs: @azulashengrottospiano @dove-da-birb @twistwonderlanddevotee @alexisomnias @l7k-a

45. I have 2 siblings! an older brother and younger sister, who is the youngest, but if I didn't tell u this and you met us both irl, you'd probably think shes the older one based on height and personality lol

47. I would die for any of my friends in a heartbeat

48. music!!! I CANNOT go without my music I tell u!!!

49. nope!!! you see, my phone doesn't tell me my phone number, so I always have to ask other people what it is 😐 (my other phone did tho)

50. uhhh hmmm this one is really hard bcuz I don't think I know anyone irl who I can trust with my life but probably...no one..?

#keianswersasks!❥ ҉#cas <3 🦈#I was going to answer it in the morning but I got caught up with a lot of things so im answering this at night 😔

8 notes · View notes

obm-avenquire · 1 year

Text

extra luke thoughts i couldnt be bothered to edit

my tone in more edited writing often ends up sounding a bit. melodramatic and over-think-y, but i dont really perceive luke as a sad character! he's someone incredibly resolute, and even if his surface level opinions seem harsh, they're brittle and easy to break through. i think luke worries too much about being fragile, when that fragility can just as easy become /flexibility/. i believe this flexibility built on his foundation of genuinely strong morals will make him - already makes him - incredibly strong as a person.

i do think there's some inevitable heartbreak that will happen - luke idolises too much for that to not be the case - but i don't think there is much that is unsurvivable for him. part of why i'm so irritated by a lot of the excessive infantalisation and chihuahua jokes about him is that like...he is the character who has received the most development in obey me. like he has changed a LOT throughout the story, and while i won't spoil anything there is a clear arc, and even WITHOUT that luke is already incredibly up there so far as strength in character (as a person, not as a literal character). the jokes just feel...so misplaced, i guess? like he's not some over eager annoying brat that wants everyone out of the way so he can take over, he's genuinely eager to learn, and his hostility to demons is completely understandable and the reasons he has for fearing them (being evil) is literally something a lot of the demon cast take pride in for a good chunk of the plot.

admittedly i think a lot of my frustration also comes from chihuahuas being notoriously mistreated and boiled down to accessories (hence why theyre often aggressive and yappy. theyre small, their needs arent being met and they cant defend themselves any other way) because i sure do lack the parental/older sibling urges needed to feel like...protective or genuinely attached to luke in any sorta way. he's like bottom 3 on my list of charas to care about and thats not out of dislike, just out of apathy. but i also cant stand for slander and hypothetical injustice (/lh) so im gonna complain!!!

ANYWAYS if nothing else i think. lukes belief is important. like he really trusts that people like micheal and simeon are good, and will be good and keep that strength. by that same virtue he can have a similar confidence in himself, not arrogance, mind, just. yeah. hes good. he knows that!! he needs to learn to be better since the racism isnt ideal but yknow-

speaking of learning hes REAL determined like!! hes genuinely happy to keep working and trying. he doesnt want to be coddled because he genuinely wants to know and be better. like. he DOES think like a child. he wants to grow up so fast, but he has so much time, so much more than most, but if he has all the time in the world then why not NOW? (course, waiting is easy for patience, simeon, someone who hasnt let time move for himself in centuries)

i think theres a sorta. inevitable conflict with simeon and luke coming whether solmare mentions it or not but like. dynamic wise. because simeon refuses to see change in others unless they dont let it be ignored, he needs everyone to be within his perception of them and the role hes assigned them in his mind. but luke is someone who WILL change, and is changing, and simeon can only infantalise him for so long before it genuinely becomes a problem, especially when it’s balanced/offset by the way that him and luke very much begin playing the roles of a struggling parent and over eager child. while luke is strong, and good, and genuinely skilled, he also needs time to be none of those things. everyone does, but it’s especially important for child development, even if said child is over a thousand years old.

its something that id argue does give us way more insight to the celestial realm than a lot of other vague exposition we’ve gotten. while luke is considered especially talented, there never seems to be any indication that he is odd for an angel, adult or child. that combined with how vacant the celestial realm feels, how emotionally detached it is, gives some interesting extra details to the basis of the celestial realm not being holy and happy in the way it’s implied/perceived to be. which isnt a new revelation by any stretch, but...context, yknow? extra supporting evidence. idk! these are my rambles that i am putting out many of which are years old and some that i thought about literally yesterday!!!

#obey me shall we date #omswd #obey me #obey me luke #obey me simeon #obey me angels #avenwrites

88 notes · View notes

thelonesomequeen · 1 year

Text

Hey I was going to try to message yall but yall have that off to only people that you follow. I don't know why yall blocked me on my other account but if I said something or did something just let me know and I could try to fix it! I loved coming on your page and interacting with some of your posts and I would even ask yall questions on anon and yall were always so nice to me so if I said anything please just let me know! My other account name is marvelhockey but if yall dont want to unblock thats fair, thank you for just letting me say this and I hope yall have a good day!

——————————————————

Here’s the thing. We don’t actually enjoy blocking people and we don’t do it just to do it. We don’t block people for simply having a difference of opinion as long as comments remain respectful or you can at least handle getting the same energy you give in return. If you can have a conversation? Cool! If you want to be a dick? Bye bye. If you or someone you know has ever been blocked by us it’s for harassment (the kind of asks where we’re called names or told to kill ourselves) or you’re out there talking shit about us. We’ve either seen it ourselves or it’s been sent to us. In your particular case, we saw you talking shit and liking comments of others who have. That’s what warranted the block.

Hey, we get it, some cool new blogs said they’d block all of you for even liking a single post on our page and that scared some of you away from interacting with us again. You don’t want to be kicked off of their pages. You want to follow along with what’s being said. We get it. We aren’t here to play bullshit games with you like that. We haven’t asked you to pick sides and we’re not going to. We’re not going to block you for simply engaging with other blogs like they’re threatening to do. We don’t care that much about any of this and we’ve said time and time again that we’re so over the fandom blog on blog drama that we somehow keep getting sucked into. But if you want to talk shit about us, then you don’t need to be here.

We don’t owe anyone our mental health. We don’t owe them access to our blog. Quite frankly, we wish tumblr had a privacy setting because we’d go private at this point. We would like it better and I’m sure some of you would too. The drama that’s coming from grown adults these days is pretty sad and we want no part of it. It’s also sad that we have to keep saying that because people keep coming at us for simply existing. Sometimes that means blocking people so we can try and cut out the extra drama. We just want to chill and chat with others from time to time like we’ve been doing for years now.

We don’t mean to come across harshly, but it’s such a wild thing to watch someone say they love coming here while turning around and talking shit about us on another page literally within minutes. So which is it? You like it here or you don’t? Because you’re spinning two different stories at the same time.

We have no problem unblocking anyone if they still want to follow along, but we ask that you not be a hypocrite. Don’t come here talking about liking our page and then run to another blog to participate in perpetuating drama or dragging us. We don’t think that’s too much to ask. If we’ve blocked you (you meaning anyone, not just this specific person we’re replying to) at some point and you’d like to request that we unblock you, I’m sure you can find a way to let us know. We really are water under the bridge type of people and can unblock people and let it all go. We just ask that people not be hypocritical in return.

15 notes · View notes

vipower001 · 1 year

Text

Cant write but short story idea:

This girl (lady A) works at a coffee shop or deli place or something. One day a pregnant woman (lady b) walks in and orders something.

Lady A offers lady b her congratulations but lady be says something like “thank you but i just wish it could be a joyful occasion.” Lady A now curious asks her what she means and lady B tells lady A about how her boyfriend got her pregnant and when she told him he broke up with her and moved in with another girl a few weeks later; his reason being something like “im not ready to be a father and i really just have to focus on my self right now” yada yada bullshite.

Lady B then starts telling lady A her worries and how she doesn’t know how she will support this child and how she cant just give up the baby because even though shes alone she has always wanted to be a mother and care for a child.

Lets give her a sad backstory of an absent mother who would always be to preoccupied with work or something to really be a parent to her daughter. Dad was an A+ dad, supper sweet and supportive but died when she was still in her single digits of age.

Anyway, lady B confides in this random girl she met who was just serving her her drink and so for like an hour she tells Lady A about her fears and how scared she is to become a single mother when her current job is not fit to support an adult and a new born child.

So after she tells Lady A this she starts to apologize for taking up this girls time and how she should be going anyhow but before she can leave Lady A tells her to wait and so she hands Lady B her contact info and tells her that if she needs anyone that she will be there and that she wont let her go at this alone. Lady B is hesitant at first to accept bc she doesn’t want to be a burden but lady A is insistent and so lady B leaves with the contact info with a promis to call and ask for help.

Pretty much after that its just about these two women becoming closer by one supporting the other and caring for a stranger that walked into her shop one day. And the other accepting this care of a stranger that has helped her more than anyone in her life, she has not been loved like this since her father died.

They fall in love (though they dont tell each other at first) and when the baby is born lady B kinda expects lady A to leave and she tells her so in the hospital. Lady A tells her how she wont leave unless lady b wants her to because she cares not only about her but the baby as well.

Lady B is surprised and also extremely happy because someone she loves cares about her and her baby. Shes asks lady A why she dose and then lady A admits her feelings to her and tells her that she doesn’t have to love her back and that if asked she will leave lady b alone but if she wants her to stay she will care for both of them wether or not lady B feels the same way.

But lady b dose love lady A and tells her so. They both kiss and once lady b is discharged from the hospital the new family goes home to their apartment, there lady A starts saving up money to buy them a “proper home” to raise their baby in. (I want lady B to quit her current job and decide to go back to school (shes doing online) to get a job she loves and one that has a higher pay to support her fam).

I want the perspective of Lady A coming home from work and seeing her wife girlfriend and kid and just being filled with love and joy of seeing the two of them. Looking at them and seeing love. Seeing two people she loves more than anything and knowing that she would do anything for them.

I want lady B to look up from her classes or from where she is playing with her kid and to just smile with love and contentment at her girl.

Her girl, the girl that took care of her from the day she met her. Her girl that was there for her when no one else was. Her girl that held her as she cried with fear of the future. Her girl that has loved and cherished ever part of her.

I want them to grow old together and watch their kid grow. Maybe even adopt another or few more. I want them to love each other, to love the family that they built. I want that never ending love two people can have for each other, that love you feel towards someone the moment you meet them till the day your soul passes on.

Give me a story of a person taking care of and loving another person; not because they have to, not because it’s expected of them, not because they were told to; but because the want to.

If someone would want to write this then please do and tag me. I just think that this would be a cute story.

#they can be perceived however you want #we need more wlw #fanfic writer #story ideas #story prompt #a bad bitch and a sweat bitch fall in love #they might kiss #and makeout #i actually was originally gonna kill of lady b during childbirth #than have lady a adopt #the child and tell the kid of the woman she loved that gave her them

7 notes · View notes

salva · 10 months

Note

do u find it harder to get into fandom now being an adult? clexa and supercorp were super easy to get into with them airing weekly with each creating a massive fandom and being a teenager / early twenties at their peaks. maybe because warrior nun was cancelled it’s hard to get into now? or maybe being an adult now? idk just been thinking about the past a lot… those past fandoms felt like a community but now they’re so fleeting in hindsight with no real connection

i have to agree with you on that last part, but also apply it to everything nowadays. To paraphrase Warhol, it seems like everything gets 15 minutes of fame and then goes out of fashion just as quickly, which is a real tragedy!

Its harder to be in fandom now for a lot of reasons, and i dont think being an adult is one, so much as the way that fandoms and being in a fandom has evolved from the earlier days to the way that it is now. But I still have a lot to say so phew buckle up because this is long so im gonna put it under the cut.

I also do find it a lot harder to get into fandom, and i think in part it has to do with being an adult, but also ive been 'doing fandom' for about a decade now (geez thats wild to think about lol) and ive been very uneasy and hesitant to engage in fandom the way that it is now. I've seen people being way too nasty and mean to each other, as well as to actors and other people in the media and I absolutely want no part in that! But it seems like those are the people that get the most engagement and it just goes on to encourage that kind of behavior amongst fandoms, that now its the unfortunate norm and i see new fandoms very quickly turn on each other. There is no more 'fandom etiquette' like there once was. Frankly it is way too exhausting and Ive mostly just turned to reblogging funny stuff I like and less fandom oriented which is real sad. I used to have different blogs that i regularly maintained for my main fandoms and around 2018/2019 it started feeling too much like a chore to be in a fandom that i stopped. But in the beginning, when i was really starting to get deeper into fandom was around 2013/2014, and 2013 - 2016 seemed to be imo the golden age of fandom. Everyone had a sense of community, artists and gifers and editors and authors and think piece bloggers were getting so much positive engagement, and it was very easy to fall into a group of people and feel welcome. I still talk to people that I connected with in a group chat for Carmilla! But now it really is a quick 'wham bam, thank you ma'am' sort of deal with show hype, and as someone who got really busy and had a whole lot of (good) life changes happen very quickly, i havent created anything for any fandom in a while, and I have felt a noticeable ostracizement / lack of interaction / friendly communication between me and people that contribute creatively. And I know Im not the only one. I understand though that, again with the new fandom style people close ranks pretty quickly and unless youre a loud (read: mean and/or annoying) voice in the community, people don't really want to have anything to do with you. Then theres the ease now of fans being able to engage with actors and media people and that has its own sets of problems (cough starting with lexa and jroth cough) and i think fans have developed more insane and extreme parasocial relationships with these people that I dont think existed before in the way that they do today. I think fans have a bigger feeling of entitlement towards actors/media people that rubs me in such a wrong way, and then using their platforms to call them ugly / bad actors / shame them for their partners / etc. which i think is so so childish but alas. Its also hard for creators to get engagement because people dont seem to reblog/retweet/share/credit them the way that they once did, and I think that also has to do with the lack of fan driven content, reducing fans interacting in fandoms with each other and resulting in the tapering off of hype and excitement and community that we once shared.

There's just unfortunately too many sad reasons that make it harder to find a sense of community within fandoms and I wish that I could take all the fans and shake them by the shoulders and teach them the proper fandom etiquette that i learned.

#ask #anonymous #long post #this was a doozy but wow i had to let it out #thank you for the question!!! it was a good one :)#i hope youre well anon #feel free to dm me if you ever wanna chat

5 notes · View notes

quenthel · 1 year

Text

oughughug ed stuff (also some tmi stuff)

i have been recovering from my ED pretty well... learning how to enjoy meals and not overeat all the time im even a little bit distressed/ reward myself with other stuff than food so my relationship to meals have changed... i also got much more into cooking than i was bc of dunmeshi too and i enjoyed the philosophy of cooking and eating meals from that manga so much legit helped me a ton to think about it more and really internalize it. Like reading that manga really made me reconsider what i think of food and that made it easier for me not to fall back into old bad mindsets as much (but i do sometimes still its a work in progress)

And like I lost a lot of weight bc of this (i just eat a little less move a little more and give more time and thought to my meals) like its been still a struggle for me esp in the beginning and by this point im losing weight very slowly like it took me 8 months to lose 10kg while the first 8 i lost in like 2 months. And while this food journey was overall good for my mental my body got much much weaker psychically esp my endurance because its a large change. Im not sad about it because being overweight (and still being overweight lol) was making me miserable (and the societal hatred for fat people was part of that ofc, but also mostly it was caused by some beliefs i have about my own self worth its a big issue) but I feel like no weight loss post or story or anything talks about this. I also started to exercise and so far some of it has been harder but some of it has been easier. And i still need to work a lot on appreciating my own body and truly inhabiting it in a sense like being at peace with it and not fighting it and connect to my own body as its part of myself and not just something im in. Like its part of me. Funnily enough the times i really felt that connection were the times I was spending a lot of time together with other people like irl (when i had a huge friend group and we drank a lot together or when i was w my ex lol).

Like at this point i weigh less than i ever remember weighing (even in my teens lol) and i still have a long way to go. But i would not have done it without being supported by my friends and parents like i dont think anybody can come out of toxic mindsets without opening those doors and asking for help or knowing that they HAVE to do it for other people (like my dad recovering from alcoholism because he was scared he will die before seeing my brother and me grow up). Also its funny that around the time i started really thinking abt my own body and my health and really asking for help (in therapy too) to make me truly healthy, not working on it in isolation like i did after beating disco elysium was around the time i started thinking abt being trans too. Like realizing that my body is me made me think more about my own gender too. I’m also thinking a lot abt starting HRT but that would be impossible for me bc of my country (idk if i can even do that abroad but maybe...) but I don’t want to yet since I want to establish my body mind connection first and THEN see if i still feel like I should.

Anyway im around halfway done with my weightloss plans and its been 9 months. I originally wanted to recover fully and reach that weight and develop habits to exercise regularly in 2 years but since im moving soon i might not be able to focus on this as much or maybe its going to get easier... who knows. I still feel like I’m a work in progress tho both bc of therapy and bc of this but also because i really feel like im JUST starting to become more of an adult because im thinking about these things (and its making me more sad that i cant be financially independent yet but im trying to be patient). But it feels like im currently at a point of my life when im changing for the better overall and while I struggle a lot its not as bad as it was before so thats pretty hopeful...

#quenthel special #nobodys online rn so i cant post shit like this #wanted to do some work today but its the first of may the day of work so i might just chill lol

6 notes · View notes

tomwaterbabies · 1 year

Text

experiencing every possible pinocchio adaption i can part six

this took a while to get back on lol but luckily i had recorded my thoughts elsewhere so here's my thoughts. on previous pinocchios

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

16. Pinocchio (1976)

"starring sandy duncan" (i do not know who this is). another stage play. see. the problem i have is that i do Not like the themes of the original book. most adaptions will follow the themes of the original book. pinocchio is just kind of stupid and annoying here and not in an endearing way. i DID like some of the dancing though that was fun.

AND it has that frustrating thing where there's a good concept executed in a Bad Adaption. he's consistently told "well a REAL boy would do this" which would be an interesting concept but. it was not done great here. 4/10 not gay trans or anything bye

17. Pinocchio by Carmelo Bene (1999)

hi so this thing was horrific lol. pretty sure its a two-person show but im not sure (it was not in english and we didnt have subtitles). this felt like a fever dream. i do appreciate weird shit but tbh this was JUST weird and... nothing else. tbh. it felt experimental and i can respect that (and if this guy was famous or something sorry im a stupid american) but story-wise and also just. Film-Wise. it wasnt. good. 2/10 not gay or trans (im scared)

18. Pistachio (2010)

as is the case with many here in america i was raised with Christian Medias. most of it was a bad time- but veggietales was not! DIDNT STOP THIS THOUGH im so sad this disappointed so severely. taking the og theme to a Biblical Direction and making it all about respecting ur elders and listening to ur parents. no thank u!!!!!!!!!!!! they dont even have a silly song with larry. 3/10 the veggies are not gay and trans this time

19. Pinokio (1979)

ohhghghghhghhhhhhhhh THE BEAST. this was soooo bad but it was honestly kind of hilarious. played by an adult again (i hate it when they do this- especially when the other kids are still Kids). he AND his dad kept making really weird noises. pinocchio in particular would like... moan and whimper and whine almost every scene. what the fuck. could not figure out much else (no subtitles again). i think there was a genie (jin? sorry i dont actually know what word is right here) which tbh i think could be interesting- adapting myths from ur culture into pinocchio (or any fairytale really). this was not a great example tho. they also have a bunch of disney imagery just in the movie which is very funny also. 2/10 not gay or trans please stop moaning thank u

20. Golden Films Pinocchio (1992)

look at dr. wily lol. anyways i apparently wrote down that this was the worst animated one so far aside from pinocchio 3000 which. well thats certainly not true anymore. its really just. crusty animation, generic characters, and a pinocchio that is of course incredibly annoying and stupid. idk its certainly following the book but at what cost. also i dont like his voice. 2/10 not gay not trans dear lord there's so many 2/10s here

#text #the pinocchio experience

5 notes · View notes

the-sappho-of-lesbos · 2 years

Note

I get your internalized homophobia and dont want to down talk it or anything. But I think a lot of your issues have something to do with something that women of all sexualities struggle with. And thats not accepting or perceiving themselves as complete human beings when they are without a partner. I know so many downright miserable women in het relationships but they cant break up bc then they wouldnt be fully human anymore. And very sadly some lesbians who cling to the same thought just without an available partner. The longing for romantic companionship etc is valid and natural! But it shouldnt destroy your self esteem, your sense of self and your ultimately your life. The notion that a woman is an incomplete human without a partner is something a sexist society and sometimes trauma trained us to be and to feel. Being a lesbian doesnt free us from that societal training. It just makes us feel like we failed as humans and as women.

I disagree with the notion that whoever hates themselves cant find a relationship or love. But there is some truth to it in a way. And that is, if you are truly and completely content with being your own companion for life, if you are fine and happy alone, then you will be able to find a partner that IS a true and equal partner and not only a substitute for that hole in your self perception. It's ironic really. And I know it sounds discouraging because your first thought might be that you will never be able to come that far. But its one step at a time, slowly and surely. I started this journey when I was in my early to mid 20s and absolutely miserable and filled with self hatred. I am now in my early 30s and I feel like settling down in myself and becoming secure with my own company. I wouldnt call myself completely happy because well who is truly completely happy? But at least I am happy with being my own company, care taker and friend. How to go down that road is a highly personal thing. For me it was a combination of trauma therapy but also a coaching with helped me get to know myself. Sounds silly but most of us really dont know ourselves because we are so repulsed by ourselves. Having someone focus on YOU, just you and not only your trauma or what makes you miserable can help wonders. And therapy tends to only focus on the miserable. Which is also important but can drown you.

And the vast majority was choosing over and over again to not hate myself. Thats hard work because self hatred is cozy after some time. But choosing to eat properly, to go for a walk to see some birds, to clean up the kitchen and to read a book that just makes you happy and nothing else is already such good work. And pausing a situation when you slip into self hatred. Your hatred of yourself is your little inner child but you are an adult. You can pick it up, listen to it, acknowledge its worries, hold it and soothe it. And then take a deep breath and be the adult your inner child would need.

One of the things that also made me calm was Tove Jansson who found her life long partner and love in her 40s. There is no rush for love. It made me ask important questions: do I want a partner who loves me right now? Right now that I am starved, that I am sad and I hate myself. Now that I hide a lot of myself and bend over backwards to be loveable? Do I want someone who loves this version of me? Do I want to put so much hope and trust into someone to see the hidden, sunken, tiny part of me that I really am? Do I want to risk that this person actually loves me when I hate myself?

Or do I want someone that loves me when I eat properly, when I snort laugh over stupid jokes, when I am comfortable and dont bend myself to be something i am not?

Its not that we become the happy person we are meant to be through someone else. We have to become content with ourselves so someone who feels attracted to our comfortable self can find us. When I was extremely skinny, shaved my body hair etc and tried so hard to be loveable while hating myself... Would a woman who likes me when I am confident and content even find me and be attracted to me? This doesnt mean "when you hate yourself you are to blame for not finding a healthy partner". God no. It means that if you focus on yourself and on being content with yourself you can be more calm and secure when you meet someone. You can trust yourself and ultimately trust that person. You can make a healthy choice for yourself and not depend on luck and chance.

And please dont understand this as "you are doing something wrong and its your fault you are miserable". Its not your fault. None of which I wrote is obvious or easy. This society wants women and especially lesbians to feel like you feel. To break free of that isnt easy so dont beat yourself up about it. I just want to encourage you to try and to take your time. Dont beat yourself up and again, take your time.

No no anon you are fully right 💕💕and I really appreciate you taking the time to write all of this out for me 💕💕

Honestly I think I’m just horribly childish. Because this is all true and I know that, but all my brain can do is go “but I still want it now”

I think everything you mentioned is fully part of the problem for me but I also think it’s an accumulation of smaller things as well. Like romance is my favourite genre so I consume it the most, my sister has like a textbook romance with her bf who she had been with since she was 13, I don’t have an awful lot of friends or people around me in general so I’m very lonely and I think that loneliness seeps into my desire to have a gf. Two birds one stone sort of situation. And genuinely I just feel better when I have someone to love. I like loving someone. My main problem is I don’t have anything in my life at the moment, I think. Having my life consist of seeing those the same age as me move out or get jobs or get partners or heck just even drive , all while I’m getting money I feel so guilty having from them government, 90% of the time the only reason I leave the house is to go to an appointment. I feel so unbelievably stagnant in life. All the avenues people have to meet propel just aren’t available to me at this time. And I think it makes me long for a relationship even more. And having to go through the trauma of my sexuality sometimes makes me feel bitter that I went through it for “nothing” if that makes any sense. Like maybe I would have been better off never figuring this part of myself out.

Sorry I’m probably rambling and not making any sense aha.

But genuinely and wholeheartedly thank you so so so much for taking the time to send this to me 💕 it’s truly beautiful. And I’m going to save it so I can read over it when I need a good reminder.

You have a very kind soul and I hope you have an absolutely wonderful and amazing day ☺️💕💕

#asks #anon #answered

9 notes · View notes

traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 1 year

Note

TWs: dehumanization, emotional abuse, child abuse, possible false memories, unreality & psychosis

looking for reassurrance/validation and maybe advice if applicable

so sometimes i think of a really fucked up memory early in my childhood, i honestly dont know what triggers it. i dont know exactly when it happened either but it had to've been really young since it was about potty training? i remember my mother becoming frustrated with me and took off my pants, put me on a stack/mess of newspapers, and said something like "here, since you want to piss everywhere like a dog." i dont remember how i reacted in the memory only that we were watching tv and nobody around did anything about it.

the worst part of this is that i cant even tell if this is a real memory or not. i dont want to believe my mom would do something like this to me nor would she admit to doing something like this so i cant ask her. this very much strikes a bell with the kind of content of my dreams that i often mistake for reality, but it feels so real to me & there's nothing that happened in it that couldn't actually happen in the real world. i didn't 'remember' this before i developed psychosis so it just feels like a false memory has been implanted in me. it makes me feel deeply uncomfortable (at least i think, trying my best but thanks alexithymia) but i could be reacting that way over something that never even happened.

Hi anon,

It sounds like this memory was traumatic for you, whether or not it happened. I guess what I would ask is, if it is real, what would that mean for you, and if it isn't real, what would that mean for you, and how does each outcome compare? Because even if this didn't happen, it's still quite upsetting for you, and understandably so.

If it did happen, you didn't deserve to be treated that way and it must've felt dehumanizing to go through that, especially to be called a dog. Especially when we're children, I feel like we're most susceptible to absorbing and internalizing our experiences in significant and long-lasting ways. What someone may see as a minor event (not saying this is in any way minor, but often times the adults in our life don't think much of how they treat children) may deeply impact a child. I feel like this has something to do with the fact that, as children, we have just been flung into reality and are trying to navigate our identity and space in relation to others, and because we're so "new" to this world, it's especially easy to internalize how others classify or treat us.

Not everything has to actually happen to be traumatic or upsetting. Sometimes our own imagination can be deeply disturbing. That being said, something I've noticed across anons in the past who are looking to confirm or deny an upsetting memory, is that genuine memories tend to come attached with a strong emotion, like anger, disgust, sadness, fear, or a combination thereof. The thing is that, if this didn't happen then there's no consequence because it's not real. But a strong emotion such as deep discomfort can be evident of something more.

It's ultimately not my place to say if it's real or not. Only you can truly determine what you experienced or didn't experience, it's not really anyone's place to dictate that for you.

Best of luck in figuring this out. I hope I could help, and that you're doing alright. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw emotional abuse

4 notes · View notes

littlemaple · 1 month

Text

a major bridge in my home city practically disintegrated this morning when a cargo boat crashed into one of the legs and now im just sad and really homesick

i have a lot of thoughts and don't want to say too much on my facebook so

i hated driving on that bridge, i hated being on bridges at all but not because that particular one was unsafe or anything, however watching how fast it fell into the river makes me feel like it was in fact unsafe. baltimore is a historic port city, built on a huge bay thats fed into by an equally huge river, this bridge was one of two that are essential for traffic in and out of the city unless coming in by boat or something

besides, the thing was iconic. and named over a historic figure that we're actually quite proud of having as a local. a lot of cityscapes were taken with this bridge in it and i dont know a local who doesn't travel on it rather frequently.

baltimore is one of the most dangerous cities in the usa. i know a lot of people don't think too highly of it, many of my own family included. but i love baltimore

if you ask me, baltimore is one of the best places to go. there are awesome music and concert venues, the food made at local restaurants cant be beat, and the museums are absolutely everything. the last time i was there was last fall to see queen+adam lambert which was absolutely fucking amazing

im just feeling a little sad for my home city. i wasn't raised there, being a bit of a smalltown country brat, but i lived there as an adult before moving abroad and have so many good memories there

if you know me irl, i know i can talk shit about baltimore and tell people not to go there without a local or at least an itinerary (just don't look lost, okay? ppl everywhere prey on that shit) but most of us are good, nice people who'll give the shirt off their backs if you ask. but we all joke about it because its coping, you know? like, when trxmp called us a disgusting city of rats or whatever it was, we all leaned into that hard. you can still buy tshirts and misc souvenirs of baltimore rats. hell, one of my favorite shirts has baltimore under the reading rainbow with the tagline theres more than just m*rder here. that shits funny okay?

baltimore had enough struggles to deal with, we didn't need this too. and i know, other places are experiencing worse. but this sucks too. on top of a scary election year, a horrifying political landscape, and increasing christocentrism, antisemitism and all the other stupid ways we look to harm each other, now we have this "mass casualty event", six people still missing in the patapsco, and a hugely damaged local infrastructure, part of a national infrastructure that honestly should be upgraded everywhere, now and not when things actually collapse and people die.

baltimore is a nice place and i will die on this hill. i hope they can rescue the missing people safely and everyone can recover well, healthily, and safely.

keeping my baltimore in my heart, mind, and prayers and hoping we can get an answer to what exactly happened to cause this.

#personal post by maple #im venting

0 notes

indigo474 · 3 months

Text

Jan292024

it doesnt matter how many adult things i do.. go to work,pay bills, cook, clean all the adulting in the world.. i can do all of it.. I am still going to be that little girl who wonders if she's good enough, who thinks maybe there is a part of her that is unlovable..i've never had anyone actually be there for me. when love comes knocking i want to be able to receive it.. what does that feel like? I tell myself i am worthy of love.. i really am. but what does that look and feel like? I did something last week that i thought was.. a good thing. I sent my MOm a text basically telling her we can try again and i love her. I usually wouldnt send such a text because i wouldnt want to me rejected and I would just not speak to her for weeks, months, years.. it took her a few days to respond and we still haven't talked BUT.. I stepped outside of my comfort zone and life is short and who knows how long any of us have on this planet.. i dont want to carry any ill will towards anyone and nothing is really that deep.. and she suffers, on her own.. i dont want to add to anyone's suffering. Madison went to the gym with me on Saturday.. when we get there she tells me she didnt want to go to that gym.. why she waited until we were inside i have no idea.. she asks me if i ever showered at the gym and i told her yes, when we lived with grandmom.. she says oh yeah she wouldnt let you use her shower.. and you still talk to that bitch. yeah, some times i do. its easy for me to get in my head about a lot of things.. i have to live each day making decisions that let me live with myself.. in peace.. I have to make decisions i dont have to forgive myself for.. or try my best to do, say , live in a way that i wont have to forgive myself for being who i am..

I'm almost done Britney Spear's book.. so sad. She's been through so much. My manager didnt want much to do with me today. I'm fine with that. I decided I AM going to LONDON this Summer.. I dont have anything else going on and the only reason i was hesitant is because i'm scared. and well, fuck being scared. but now i read something about a war so im not sure.. hahaha.. August is a long way away.. not really but kind of... I had a great run tonight. I'm back to tracking my macro's. tomorrow i lift heavy. not everyday is a grand slam day.. no one can be happy all the time.. even if i'm not feeling the day, i have moments of happiness... there is always always always something to be grateful for..i am grateful for everything.. absolutely everything.

0 notes