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zombiekillerbiceps · 1 year

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Unsung - Chapter 1: Party in Raccoon City

Notes: Oh boy I'm really in the long haul now lol

Content: 3.5kish, Leon X OC, slow burn, gore, angst, violence, spooky/eerie scenes, spoilers for RER2, I mix original and remake lore so it's not fully accurate to either game and also events are a little squishy for Plot Reasons.

A rookie cop and a video store clerk make for an unlikely pair as Vanessa and Leon rely on each other to make their way through an over-run Raccoon City, enduring horrors and heartbreak that would forge an unbreakable bond. Covers roughly the first half of the second game.

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Gutshot wounds always look so goofy in the movies. But the stomach acid leaking into her surrounding organs didn't feel very fucking goofy.

September 26th, 1998. The day the Raccoon City Incident stopped feeling like a bad dream. Things got bad so quickly. The water was the first to go. The power followed shortly behind. Vanessa's mom got bit trying to get them clean water. Their fridge smelled like rotting food and without any way to wash their can opener, their only way of eating safe food was starting to grow mold. The air smelled like smoke from some near by building burning into nothing. They couldn't stay there.

When it was clear her time with her mom was up, she took her sister and tried to get help from a neighbor.

And then it was just her.

She remembered hearing the police station was managing to hold down some order on the radio and she didn't feel like she had a lot of options. It took her days to work up the courage to go. She would pace the abandoned living room, hands shaking uncontrollably every time she reached for the door knob. But she knew she couldn't stay. It was in an alley just outside the police station where she was pinned down by one of the undead. It's body was stiff but inexplicably strong. The side of his face was rotting off the bone. The white of the ocular bone stood out against the grey flesh falling off it. It let out a choking groan as it tried to bring it's grotesque, stinking face to tear her throat out. There was a splatter of blood and it dropped.

Vanessa looked in the direction of the gunshot. His blonde hair was falling into his face, his cheeks already splattered with blood. He was wearing an RPD police jacket, his blue eyes scared, but unhesitant.

"Good thing I came along, huh?" his voice wavered a little when he tried to make a joke, lowering the gun as he did. A poor attempt at coping with humour.

He approached her, looking behind him once as he did, and put his hand on her elbow. His touch was gentle and warm, his expression serious and concerned. Beneath that there was a trace of relief, likely just as glad as she was to see someone alive. "Are you alright?"

Vanessa swallowed, then shrugged. What could she say? She looked down at the zombie at their feet and wanted to say something helpful or reassuring, but it felt like her words were stuck in her throat.

"Picked a stupid outfit to die in," she managed. His eyes widened at the morbidity of her humour, but glancing down at the hideous, orange bubble vest, he couldn't help but laugh a little.

"Come on," he said, "more will come."

"Are you going to the police station?" she asked, following him. He nodded, a strand of hair falling into his face. "Is it safe there?"

He turned to look at her. She could tell he wanted to say something comforting, but he settled on honesty.

"You'll be safe with me."

That was true, for the most part. He kept her tucked behind him when they were confronting zombies, except when he couldn't. He kept her in front of him when Mr. X found them. He taught her how to shoot, how to bandage a wound, how to block and how to find good cover. When she got enough practice, she tried to look out for him too. Though she was armed with nothing but a steel pipe for a good portion of their time in the RPD, she did her best to pry zombies off him when they got a hold on him. The cop's name was Leon Kennedy. He was good man, she thought. For a cop.

They were taking stock in the STARS office, waiting out the heavy clomping of Mr. X's boots around the area. The heavy, ever-present stomping of his massive frame made the entire station feel oppressive. He was always right where they didn't want him to be, and when he laid eyes on them, there was so little they could do to shake him. He never tired, never got injured. A constant, looming threat that was always, always just behind them. Terminator type shit.

She wondered who these people once were while they looted their desks. A stuffed fish above one with an NRA magazine, one with a beret and a picture of a handsome looking man, one at the very back with a medical bag... they were all so lived in. Then they were just... up and abandoned. Vanessa wondered if they'd killed any of them. If these people who were trained in special tactics turned, what chance did she and Leon have?

"I found a letter over here," she said, picking up a letter with a European stamp. "It's from some guy named Chris...?"

"Redfield?"

"Doesn't say. Small office though, probably not too many Chris's that work for STARS." Her eyes scanned the letter while Leon searched the medical bag for first aid spray. "I think it's in code. He's talking about... Umbrella, I think."

"So, he thought Umbrella was behind this?" Leon wondered out loud.

"It's addressed to a Jill. Maybe she did too."

Leon's eyebrows stitched together as he thought about it, searching his memory, before finally saying;

"Oh, shit. Those were some of the survivors of the Arklay Mansion Murders."

"Oh, shit," she remembered when the news about those murders broke. "Umbrella must have been behind that, too."

The clomping of heavy boots sounded again nearby. The sound made her want to scream - an action that would be certain death. She and Leon shared a look; a nod, as a silent agreement to be quiet. She sat down in front of the desk with the beret on it and Leon sat next to her. His elbows rested on his knees. His head rested against the desk. He looked exhausted. She mirrored him, pulling her knees up to her chest, hugging them instead. Her chin rested on the knee that wasn't swollen and bruised.

"How did you survive this long?" Leon asked quietly. Wearily. The distant look in his eyes was equal parts concerning and recognizable.

"Hiding, mostly," she admitted. "My uh... my little sister has these really sensitive taste buds. We have to- had to- buy the kid's bubble gum toothpaste for her cause the mint one is too 'spicy'. She hates the taste of tap water, so the three of us just got used to drinking bottled water."

"Are they..."

"No. I mean, yeah, technically. But they're still like, around. Probably still roaming the apartment complex. I couldn't..."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that," Leon said. She bit back tears; talking about them reopened the wound, but the compassion in his voice made her want to cry. "I uh. I lost my family too. Before all this."

"I'm sorry," she said. She reached out and squeezed one of his hands.

The door opened and Vanessa snapped her hand away. She fumbled for the pipe discarded at her side, but Leon was already kneeling on one knee, gun drawn and aimed. Claire raised her hands to her chest. Both Vanessa and Leon relaxed.

"Oh, we found this." Leon got up and handed Claire the letter. Their hands brushed when Claire took it. She read it once, then again.

"Thank you," she said, so sincere. A stab of jealousy threatened to fracture Vanessa's ribs, followed by guilt - must be nice to know your sibling's alive. Leon nodded, staring into Claire's eyes like it would save him from this shitty night.

Vanessa found the carpet suddenly very interesting. Their chemistry always made it feel like she was watching something she shouldn't be.

She spent most of her time in the RPD with Marvin. Vanessa learned it was supposed to be Leon's first day on the force - they got cake and everything - before things went to shit.

She knew he was bit. So did Leon, even if he didn't want to accept what that meant. She knew he was going to die. And then he was going to turn. So, she kept him company while he was still human. He told her about how Chief Irons ran off with some poor girl, and his Chief Deputy died. Marvin also told her about their efforts with Raccoon SWAT to try and establish the area around the station as a safe zone. He told her how that failed. When they tried to draw back, they were simply overwhelmed. He tried to cut off the better parts of the station from the parts completely overrun, but all it did was cut survivors off from safe passage and communication. He was the one that closed the shutters and diverted power to conserve it. He watched the cameras and tried to help survivors too.

He just tried so hard to protect people, and it seemed everything they did only exhausted and divided them. He managed to save a single truck full of people when he was attacked - Vanessa suspected that was the person he couldn't put down.

She told him about how she survived. How she heard the station was safe, and if it wasn't for him keeping the main hall secure, she and Leon and Claire would probably be dead too.

He showed her pictures of his wife and kid. So proud. She tried to commit them to memory. It felt important that at least someone remembered them.

He was practical. He thought of solutions, always looking for the next path to survival. Vanessa liked that about him. He didn't give up even when it was clear he'd been beat. He was the one that told them about the passage underground that might help them escape.

Vanessa was closest to him when he turned. He attacked her, and Leon had to put him down. He didn't hesitate, just like Marvin told them. It broke both their hearts.

She took his gun off his corpse to protect herself going forward. She wasn't a good shot, but it was better than nothing. In reality, though, she didn't take the gun just to fend for herself. She took it because she admired Marvin and she didn't want to forget him.

"So, what did you do before all this?" Leon asked, making conversation as they made their cautious way through the secret tunnel.

"Uh, let's see. Dropped out of high school to help my mom pay bills. I worked at the Redstone Video right beside the subway station, got to be assistant manager just a week after my 18th birthday. Really on my way to accomplishing great things."

"Sounds like it," he said sarcastically. "What about for fun?"

"Watch movies, mostly," she said. She thumbed the rough grip on Marvin's gun as they talked. This place was fucking eerie, but conversation helped keep her mind off it. "I had a crush on this guy who worked at the CD store across the street, sometimes we'd go to see local bands and stuff. I go on this message board for urban legends, too."

"I can't stand those," Leon said.

"Message boards?"

"No, urban legends. Ghost stories. They freak me out."

"Probably won't be freaked out by much when we get out of this," she said. "Hey, think you can push that cabinet back a bit so I can squeeze through? I can help push it on the other side."

Leon complied, pushing the heavy cabinet enough that she could squeeze through. She hadn't even stood to her full height when a freight train slammed into her.

The wind was knocked out of her so hard she thought her lungs had collapsed. She struggled to get air in her lungs while something hard and fleshy lifted her into the air. She distantly heard Leon screaming her name, and then she was being tossed over a railing. Her body slammed against something hard enough to crack something in her shoulder. At least it broke her fall a bit.

She wound up flat on her back, chest convulsing for need of air and panic. Her vision blurred but she could see her attacker's feet moving towards her. She thought the rotting corpses were bad, but this thing was on a whole other fucking level. Once a man in a lab coat but a grotesque growth overtook one of his arms and the side of his face. He screamed, running at her.

She wanted to get up and run, but her muscles wouldn't move.

Breathe.

Fucking BREATHE.

Finally her lungs took in air. Sweet, sweet oxygen flooded her lungs and, like a switch, her body came back to life. She managed to scramble to her knees and crawl behind a massive steel drum as a pipe slammed into the tile where she was just seconds ago.

"Vanessa!" Leon screamed again, putting his hands on the railing.

"Wait, no!" She yelled back, but her voice came out weak, and then he was leaping over the railing to the ground below.

Vanessa rolled under another attack. She was on her feet now. Adrenaline overtook her system, fight or flight kicking in as her sneakers pounded against the tile.

"What the fuck is this thing?!" she screamed, sliding beneath a mess of piping while it's arm slammed down on it, barely missing her. She snapped her head up.

"It's not going to stop!" Leon called out to her, firing a few shots at the thing. Vanessa watched the bullets land in it's skull, but it didn't seem phased.

Oh. Fuck.

"Watch it!" she yelled as the thing turned away from her to engage him instead.

It walked through Leon's fury of headshots like he was merely throwing rocks at it. Leon backed away, and then they were out of her line of sight.

She sprinted down the hallway, catching only glimpses of them between piping and steel drums. It's arm was freaking out like an independent animal. Pumping, pulsing, stretching. An eye opened in it's bicep?! Then it wrapped a clawed hand around Leon's waist and lifted him up in the air like he weighed nothing.

She turned the corner and dropped to one knee, just like Leon taught her to do to steady her shot. She held her breath while she aimed, then squeezed the trigger. A stream of blood and ocular fluid erupted from it's misplaced eye. It dropped Leon and roared.

It started swinging the pipe viciously, screaming in pain and rage.

Vanessa was in the flurry of it before she had time to think about what a bad idea that was. She hooked her arm under Leon's and half-dragged him out of there. He was on his feet by the time they turned a corner, both of them panting with effort.

"I don't think words are gonna work on this thing," Leon joked.

"Really? Thought all rational debates started with swinging a pipe," Vanessa retorted through her heavy breathing. They looked at each other, hands shaking, listening to this thing slam metal and piping with harsh, metallic reverb.

"Those pipes are putting off a lot of heat," she observed. "I have an idea. Are you with me?"

Leon nodded. She took a deep breath and peered around the corner, trying to locate the thing in the lab coat. She tracked it's movements, guessed which way it would go, and took aim. Deep breath, hold, slow exhale. A bullet grazed the bottom of a pipe. It burst, erupting in hot steam directly in the thing's face. It screamed again, the area around it obscured in steam. She gestured with her chin for Leon to go one way before she hooked around the other.

They pincer attacked the thing, one hitting from one side while the other came up the back. When it got a little too close, she'd pop another pipe, and their positions would be obscured again.

It went on like that for what felt like forever, a slog of bullets, blood, steam, and nearly getting brained by a fucked up hulking mass of eyes and pulsating veins.

They finally got it down. Vanessa approached to land what she prayed would be a final blow but hesitated. The eyes that looked up at her were... pleading. Its human hand came up and gripped the bottom of her shirt, its mouth open to say something but only able to gargle. There was something still human inside it, and it felt like he was begging her to kill him. Leon was the one that shot him, and that humanity drained out of it instantly. It fled, leaping over a railing to whatever lay below.

A shudder rocked Vanessa's body as the adrenaline crashed. She backed up against a wall and slid down it, Leon following her. They sat shoulder to shoulder, Leon resting his head against the wall, while Vanessa held hers in her hands. She couldn't stop seeing it... human eyes begging her to end it.

She looked at Leon out of the corner of her eye. Head tilted back, mouth parted to get more air, sweat shimmering on his skin... his eyes fluttered open and he looked back at her.

"Thanks for having my back back there," she said. He just smiled.

"We should get going before that thing comes back."

She nodded breathlessly. She wasn't ready to get back up, but he was right. He stood first, reaching out his hand to help her up. She accepted. He pulled her to her feet with relative ease.

Just then, a ladder dropped down in the corner of the room. A flash of red, and then it's gone. She and Leon looked at each other, then shrugged.

When his back was turned, she rolled her shoulder and tried not to wince. The pain kept her focused at least. Kept her mind off rotting flesh and pulsing veins and human eyes.

#Re2r fanfic #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy fanfic #leon x oc #OC: Vanessa #Resident Evil 2 fanfic #Self indulgent fanfic #If you get the reference in the title lmk lmao #I don't even know how to tag this tbh #Listen it's going to be a really slow start I need to set up a lot for the middle chapters to have an effect please stick with me #If you liked this consider leaving a comment! I'm like... still gonna post the next chapters regardless but it would be fun to pretend like #I'm writing for an audience and not 100% for me #fic: unsung

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ravenlostsnippets · 2 years

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“When I dance like That” Starker

The Avengers are on a mission undercover in a strip club. Peter has to pretend to be a stripper. Tony hates it but Peter is surprisingly good at it

Tony’s eyes darted around, waiting impatiently for the kid to come when the beaded doors swished open and Tony froze, his lips paused on the glass he had taken as he leaned against the counter.

There was Peter.

Young beautiful Peter Parker - his intern who was going to be the death of him - in glittering dark pink lipstick, a blown out gold smokey eye surrounding his irises.

#i don't even know how to tag this tbh #snippet #starker

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the-guff · 2 years

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I feel like I'm having a fucking stroke.

Conservatives are mad about the fact there are now purple M&Ms. Normally when they're mad about pointless shit, you can at least see what that pointless shit is, like Mr and Mrs Potato Head being rebranded to Potato Heads, or Ariel being black in the new remake or whatever.

But this? The company literally never said a fucking word about it being trans or gay or representative of some minority group or anything... It's literally a purple fucking candy. I cannot wrap my head around it. What is fucking going on???

#i don't even know how to tag this tbh

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evasive-anon · 4 months

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Jason was having a pretty OK time with the league of assassins, sure getting dunked in a lazarus pit sucked and Bruce turned out to be a scumbag who didn't care about him, but at least he isn't dead. He even liked most of the new skills he was learning there so on the whole being with the league seemed like a pretty good deal to him until Talia woke him up in the middle of the night and left him alone with two child assassins.

Or, a demon twins AU where when Talia realizes her father intends to have her boys fight to the death takes action first by deciding to take all her kids and leave the league. Talia either dies or is separated from them in the initial escape and now Jason just has a bag of supplies and a letter from Talia explaining the plan to get to Gotham. Jason has to get himself and two 7 year olds out of the Himalayas, across a desert, and over 12k miles to Gotham. Only now the league members hunting them down want them dead or worse and Jason isn't too confident that B will accept them given their kill counts.

Featuring:

Good Mom Talia. she loves her kids. Did she teach them to kill? Sure, but that's an important life skill.

Single Teen Mom Jason. He's the oldest and in charge but he also will not answer any questions about The Plan™ given he isn't committed to Talia's but also doesn't have a set alternative. Oscillates between looking forward to just dumping his new little brothers with Bruce so they'll be his problem and thinking of just moving somewhere random in the US and keeping them based entirely on how cute vs annoying they are at that time. Didn't realize how much he relied on Talia to help him with things until she is gone. He's really trying his best but he wasn't all that emotionally stable before this so hang in there.

Angry Smol Dami. He's still drinking the LoS punch and really dislikes that he is now considered a traitor. Can't stand that Jason won't answer any of his very relevant questions. Is actually very scared but will not show it. Misses his mom. Didn't even know he had siblings until his mom yoinked him out of bed that night and brought him to Jason and Danny and started all this. Physically the stronger twin. Thinks Danny is dragging them down in fights and also may blame him a bit because clearly his mother only did all this to spare him.

Danny, reincarnated with limited access to his memories and powers. Has been trying to keep his powers a secret. Talia knew about them but never told anyone but she may have hinted at it in her letter to Jason. Not the strongest physically but very good at stealth and social interactions. Didn't know he had and older brother or twin before Jason woke him up at Talia's instruction that night. Thinks Damian is mean and has faith Jason knows what he's doing even if that is very much untrue.

#escape the LoS demon twins prompt #dropping extras at the end in the tags for fun #demon twins au #dpxdc prompt #fanfic prompt #dpxdc #dp x dc #dcxdp #dc x dp #original post #long post #non-canon compliant #danny phantom crossover #batman crossover #Athanasia and Mara could be added to the party as well for extra fun #but I don't know how familiar the phandom side is with those characters so I didn't include them in this #also out of some mercy for this Jason tbh cause even 2 kids would already be a pain for a teenager #if Mara is there then Damian would probably vibe with her the most in spite of their rivalry cause she's probably distrust Jay too #and she would probably also resent becoming a traitor so they'd relate to each other #If Athanasia is in the crew then I think she'd be clocked as the weakest link and Damian would probably disapprove of her instead of Danny #Danny could also be full human in this AU #powerset if reincarnated is whatever you want but I was thinking invisibility for brief periods and partial intagability #like he can disappear for a couple seconds or phase a weapon through him in a pinch #but he can't do it a lot or maybe can only do it sometimes #i don't imagine Jason has pit rage in this just trauma #I imagine Jason being 16/17yo

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azaracyy · 3 months

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a lesson on good karma digimon survive week 2024 day 4: supporting characters

#digimon #gomamon #digimon survive #survive week #survive week 2024 #rambling ahead. you don't have to read the tags beyond bc there's nothing that important tbh... you can just look at the art...#exhausted from being out and doing housework yesterday. then got a last-minute job with very urgent deadline today #finished everything but yeah basically i did anything but art so #irl do be like that aint it #anyway it's been a long time since i played survive and my memory isn't that good #but i always remember the part where we had to protect the gomamon #and later they showed us a path via the dam allowing the team to continue exploring #it reminded me of just how important it is to be nice and do good things whenever and wherever possible #and be mindful with the not-so-good things you do and say #be it good or bad. karma is real even if you don't know when it will get back at you #and you know in visual novel settings. whatever choice you make really determines what happens later on #yeah believe it or not i end up thinking stuff like that by helping a bunch of adorable seal mons...#mmm i'm officially behind now so i might as well take my time while also rest a bit haha ;;#this week has been fun with survive week tho fr. even though i came in unprepared (when will i change)#gotta keep surviving #png

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fridayyy-13th · 1 year

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(making a new post for this tag game bc the post was already super long, hope that's okay lol)

when you see this, post 5 songs you actually listen to and tag 10 of your favorite followers/mutuals!! i was tagged by @kazs-scheming-face; thanks for tagging me! :)

Aurora Borealis - Lemon Demon

Out of My League - Fitz and the Tantrums

Killer Queen - Queen

Na Na Na - My Chemical Romance

The Steeple - Halestorm

Tags (no pressure of course): @emptymilk-bottle @rrril3yyy @pandamime @wwwaaalllllp @iammycharacter @its-your-mind @phantom-crows @starchiving @yaiyogsothoth @j0espo0ky

#tag game #five songs does Not give an accurate representation of my music taste #...as if anything could tbh; i don't even know how to describe my music taste #i listen to a Lot Of Different Stuff #but uh yeah! never actually started a new tag game post before; i usually just rb and add onto the one i was tagged in #but it was a reeeeeaaaaalllllyy long post already

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vcrnons · 8 months

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[ MIX & MAX ] NCT MARK & JISUNG 'Some Minds & Voices' ( for @ncteez <3 )

#mark #jisung #mark lee #park jisung #nct #nct dream #put simply. i did this a) on a whim and b) for hon.#look okay i barely even go here. i just saw she said she wanted someone to gif this video and i said yes. that.#something i can and will do. so happy christmas or birthday or event of ur choosing i guess ;o;#am i aware that u may or may not have been joking or at least a little unserious? sure #but now. a few hours of hyperfixation and ignoring my sore throat later. here we are anyway #i don't know how to tag this && tbh i don't particularly care abt tagging it /gen #i am just playing the silliest of buggers and trying to navigate some more fun colouring rn. don't perceive me<3 #cw flashing #tw flashing #flashing gif #(this is probably part 1 of 2 because the other half where they've got the metallic shit goin on? OOF)#*mine #my gif

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etz-ashashiyot · 24 days

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There are specific images - some from photos or videos of that day, but also just several survivor narratives - that I absolutely cannot get out of my mind no matter how hard I try. There are just certain specific things that are so awful and so sadistic that I think about at least daily and often way more than that, that I just... can't hold.

I can hold a lot.

In my line of work, I read and hear horrifying things every day - things most people couldn't swallow and live their lives - but I can. I hold it, and I hold space for the survivors.

But this? I just keep playing it in my mind, over and over, I'm haunted by it.

Does anyone have any suggestions for how to break out when you get stuck like this?

#I don't really even know how to tag this tbh #trauma #Simchat Torah massacre

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shu-of-the-wind · 7 months

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props to every member of the big titty committee who read books that involved descriptions of people's "young pert breasts" and went "bitch where" because their boobs had been sagging since their date of origin

#i'm in this post #yes i mean i wrote this post but also #i'm IN this post #i don't even know how to tag it tbh #shut up alix no one cares

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punkstylerecovery · 2 months

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One of my major (minor) brain issues is that my brain lies to me. Sometimes its easy to ignore, especially since it's generally obvious, but when I don't have something else to concentrate on or I'm really anxious, its like trying to ignore a fire alarm going off when you're sitting right beside it. Impossible, at least for me.

See, its one thing to ignore my brain saying "you're an evil person" when I'm in the middle of a book. Its another to ignore my brain claiming I didn't lock the bathroom door (and someone Will come in) when I'm in the shower. But its quite another thing to ignore my brain screaming someone is in my bedroom and they're going to kill me when its the dead of night and I'm trying to sleep.

You might think the logical solution would be to look around my bedroom, put the fears to rest, and go to sleep. But no. You see, my brain wants me to look. But it also never believes I've looked properly.

I can look around and five seconds later, my brain will ask, 'but are you sure you looked right? Look again. If you missed something, you're going to die!" Sometimes I can't remember if I looked or not. Perhaps I did miss something. It doesn't matter. My brain wouldn't be satisfied if I slept with my eyes open (which is what it tries to convince me I will do if I want to stay alive).

Its always something I've struggled with, some times more than others. Its not always as extreme as "you're going to die", but its always extreme in some way, whether its the panic or the amount of times I check something to shut my brain up. And its ridiculous, because its not like I don't know my brain is a liar. Its not like I don't know it likes to fuck with me.

But I also don't really know what else to do. Its not like people go around offering advice for things like that; its not a common dinner conversation. Its not even a common experience, apparently. Some people's brains don't lie to them all the time and they don't have a million panic attacks trying to go to sleep because their brain isn't telling them they're about to die.

I don't know what the fuck I'd advise people like that. Sleep tight, maybe. But I wish there was some kind of guidebook for people with brains like mine. I'm getting kinda tired of winging it.

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archervale · 1 year

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Happy Birthday to this dude! 🎵🎉🎸

#jensen ackles #jensenackles #idek how to tag this tbh lol #happy birthday jensen #happy birthday jensen ackles #happy birthday jensen!#archie art #my gifs #very bad gifs may I add I was just using photoshop idk why #I don't even know why I did this let's just leave it there ahah

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feroluce · 2 months

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Thinking tonight about Caelus, and the nature of his loss and his grief after the Everything that went down in Penacony during 2.0.

Because Acheron, Black Swan, and Misha kind of knew of Firefly, they at least met her, but they didn't like really know her, and Caelus never even got the chance to introduce her to the rest of the Astral Express Crew. The only person who would have talked to her much was Sparkle, who is. Probably not really someone Caelus is interested in grieving with skznmsks

Anyway, all this to say, I like thinking about how alone poor Caelus is in his grief, because he was the only one who knew Firefly. He's the only one really mourning her. There's no one to talk about her with. There's no stories to trade or memories to reminisce with anyone over. It's not as though he knew her for long, but still. No one else knew her at all.

And I love the thought of all of this coming bubbling up, hot and acidic and bitter, during a conversation with Sampo, who Caelus just so happens to run into in the Golden Hour. Poor Sampo is kinda blindsided, he knew shit was going down in Penacony, but yeesh. And he just. Isn't quite sure what to say about it all, because he's never really encountered this before. His feelings about the Masked Fools are...a mixed bag, but he's been a part of them for a very long time, and when you're with a close organization like that, it's hard to feel alone, in grief or otherwise.

So Sampo sits there on their little bench that the two of them have occupied, and he thinks of his old friend April, how she'd died in his arms cackling and spitting her own blood after a heist gone wrong, and how after he'd dragged himself back to the World's End Tavern they'd all held a Fool's Funeral- which is basically just a big party where everyone gets really really drunk and reminisces and toasts the dead and celebrates their life.

He still thinks about her a lot, and he remembers how the time he'd most keenly felt her absence was on Jarilo-VI, the one place where he couldn't talk about her because he couldn't say anything to give himself away as an alien. The Fools still tell stories about her every time he goes back to the Tavern. His first toast of the night is always in her name. Even now, all these years after she'd died, Sampo is still learning new things about her. He's never had to grieve her alone.

Caelus doesn't have any of that.

He might never have that. As they speak, Caelus has no proof that Firefly was even her real name, or if she dreamt with her true appearance. He might not ever find out who she even was.

And just imagining that kind of loneliness hollows out a strange little pit, right behind his sternum, deep between his ribs.

So Sampo claps Caelus' shoulder and offers him a deal. Come find him outside of the dream. He knows a guy who can get them a lot of beer for really cheap-

("Is that guy you and your five finger discounts?" "Whatever do you mean, dear friend, I don't even know the meaning of the phrase, hehee.")

-and they can hole up in a bar or a hotel room or something, and get completely shitcanned. Tell him all about Firefly, tell him everything, and he'll tell Caelus about April and everyone else he's ever lost. Sampo will carry Caelus' memories of Firefly with him, and at least this way, Caelus will be a little less alone in remembering her. And the next time they cross paths, Sampo will be the one to bring her up, and to tell her stories, and Caelus can get to be the one listening. He won't have to be the only person to talk about her anymore.

Caelus rolls his eyes when Sampo avoids another remark about sticky fingers, but...ok, yeah. That sounds good. Nice, even. Thank you. Caelus bumps his shoulder against Sampo's. Sampo bumps back.

(They find each other again the next day, and true to their word, get themselves completely and utterly shitcanned. Caelus talks more than Sampo has ever heard him; every minute detail, every word choice, Firefly's every odd little mannerism and habit. Because Caelus wants to make sure this will outlive him, that even if the Stellaron dwelling within him finally burns him to a crisp and he really does up and kick the bucket, or even, godforbid, if he forgets, he wants to make sure someone remembers her. She deserved that.)

((And it takes quite a while, after that. Caelus doesn't see Sampo again until after everything has settled down. On his last day in Penacony, he finds the guy slinking out of a seedy back alley and all but runs right into him. Sampo happily leads him to some dive bar in an even seedier back alley that Caelus has never even heard of, and Sampo raises his glass. "To Firefly! Who sounds like she probably would have hated me at first, but I would have liked to have met her anyway."

And Caelus stares at him, almost looking startled, long enough that Sampo worries that he's read him wrong and brought this up too soon. He's halfway into planning how to talk himself out of this situation when Caelus finally throws back his head back and laughs, tells him that yeah, Firefly would have politely called him out on every lie he told, and all their conversations would take twice as long with the way Sampo is so full of shit.

And he can see it, the same way he watches and sees through everyone, that Caelus' eyes have a tightness to them, his knuckles are nearly white around the handle of his mug. But he smiles. He hits his glass against Sampo's far too hard and throws it back and gets foam everywhere like he does every time they drink because the guy's about as elegant as a raging bull, but those things don't lessen the genuineness of his smile.

The grief is there, but so is the elation, and those emotions aren't a sliding scale between one or the other. It is all of both and both at once, and that's what contents Sampo enough to throw his own mug back when Caelus makes a toast of his own, "to April!!".))

#caelus #sampo koski #hsr caelus #hsr sampo #sampo & caelus #sampril #honkai star rail #hsr #my fics #me a few days ago: my favorite silly little guys uwu #me today: ANGST #honestly I feel like this isn't even a super strong angst though #it's more just. bittersweet? melancholic? something.#I JUST. REALLY LOVE STORIES ABOUT THE NATURE OF GRIEF #and 2.0 laid the groundwork for that beautifully woohoo #I just remembered this probably isn't common knowledge oops but April is the cute red haired girl in Funny Bone #her name was revealed by the creators on twitter. she's named April like April Fools!#anyway I ship it hardcore now thanks bucket boi & studio #but anyway yes I love and adore the loneliness of the trailblazer's loss and grief after 2.0 #because we know from Sunday that Firefly is “spiritually dead” but the trailblazer wouldn't have that knowledge #and they wouldn't know her identity or about any of her connections to other people #and I love that juxtaposed against Sampo and the possible strange nature of his own grief-#-given how the Masked Fools operate and how they see Elation in everything and everywhere #Sampo is no saint- like at all lol- but I do like him and Caelus getting along and being bros #and I don't think it would be terribly ooc for him to care about someone he sees as a genuine friend #he maybe rarely considers someone a genuine friend. but still dmxjjdjdk #listening to Sam's boss theme as I tag this... have been listening to it a lot ever since I finished 2.0 tbh #it's probably what inspired a lot of this haha #because it does sound strong and intimidating and imposing #but you can hear it

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