Tumgik
#I couldn't just let this anniversary go without acknowledging how much this series
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Get Back [2021] dir. Peter Jackson
it has been exactly 365 days since my life was completely hijacked by this series
535 notes · View notes
rogersideup · 9 months
Text
Nice to be Kneaded
Tumblr media
Chapter 15
Everything will be Okay
series masterlist
Previous part: Cinnamon Roll Next Part: Crawl Home to You
Word Count: 6,979
Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI. Mentions of medical equipment, loss, abuse, PTSD, anxiety and depression.
Tumblr media
"This is the worst thing I've ever done" Steve complained, puffing out short winded breaths as he worked at the table opposite you.
He decided he wanted to learn how to bake bread after watching you do it so many times. The patiences and techniques behind the art intrigued him, and there was no one better to learn from than you, the best of the best.
You laughed as you watched him struggle to knead the dough on the floured counter facing yours. His cheeks were turning pink and his dough was still shaggy and lumpy, he was completely envious of yours already becoming smooth and bouncy. "Don't look at mine, it's unfair to you. I have experience, comparison is going to kill all your confidence."
"My arms hurt" Steve emphasized.
"Your arms pulled an in-flight helicopter into the top of a building, and single handedly ended World War II. I'm pretty sure they can handle an artisan loaf, Baby." You smiled.
"How long have we been kneading?" He puffed out.
You peaked at the clock, "mmmm, 3 minutes."
"How long do we need to do this?"
"Usually 10"
"Okay, well, you must have arms of steel because this is impossible."
"I believe in you!" You encouraged him. "Use the heels of your palms, push the dough out then pull it back. You can even go diagonally, side to side."
"You're not even out of breath?" He noted in disbelief. "I feel like I'm asthmatic again."
"Do you need an inhaler? I'm sure I can find you one" A giggle slipped past your lips.
"You're a super soldier." Steve stated, his arms coming to a stand still to take a break. "There's no way someone can just do this."
"Here, let's swap. I got a good start on this one so it'll be easier for you." You said walking over to his side of the table, and taking over his dough while he moved over to yours.
"See, much easier. Now I'm a bread master!" He exclaimed, working with your dough that was already almost completely smooth rather than his shaggy mess.
"I knew you could do it! Great job, Stevie" You smiled.
"Thank you, thank you." He accepted your compliment.
A comfortable silence fell between you two as the sound of music filled your ears, you were obviously very concentrated on fixing the monstrosity of a dough pile Steve had left you.
It was sticking to every square inch of your hands, yet also incredibly crumbly and dry. You had no idea how he even went about creating such a substance, but you sure as hell were going to make it work, and you definitely weren't going to say anything about it.
He knew it wasn't correct, it was written all over your face but that made him happy. Watching you try to work with the crumbly goo with furrowed eyebrows and a smile that you tried to hold back warmed his heart, you were always so kind and encouraging.
"So..." Steve broke the silence.
"So?" You acknowledged.
"I was thinking."
"Oh gosh, that's scary..." You joked.
"Our anniversary passed not too long ago..." He mentioned, causing you to look up at him with a fond look on your face.
"That was six months ago" You pointed out, unsure if not too long was the proper description of how much time had actually passed.
Once all of the scary bumps that came along with establishing a new relationship were smoothed out, unlike the dough beneath your hands, your relationship with Steve was so smooth it glided by effortlessly and fast.
The concept of time since the blip in general felt quite odd, it felt like five years had passed by in the blink of an eye, yet the way of living with only half the population was so normal and routine now you couldn't imagine a time in which you lived a normal life before the blip.
That's exactly how you felt about your time with Steve as well. He moved in permanently next door, then before you knew it his lease was up and he moved in to your house. The spaces that were once yours were now yours and Steve's.
Four and a half years deep into your official relationship with the man and you couldn't even remember a time in which his easel wasn't always displaying a half completed work of art in the corner of the living room and there wasn't a Captain America suit tucked away in the very back of the closet, hiding away in a garment bag.
The two of you created the simple, care free life of your dreams. One in which the biggest struggle you faced on the daily basis was keeping the bakery stocked despite the ever growing crowds, and missing Steve whenever he was away on business to the compound in New York.
"So our anniversary is coming up!"'He enthused.
You laughed at his change of words, "only six months away!"
"Can you believe that four and a half years ago I waltzed in here for a cookie, and that simple choice single handedly changed both of our lives?" He questioned.
"Wow, kneading bread makes you so philosophical." You noted. "What a great choice you made, just goes to show that cookies really are the better part of life."
"You're the better part of my life, sunflower." He purposely cheesed causing you to look back up at him once more.
"How sweet" You acknowledged. "If my hands weren't covered in dough I'd reach up and boop your nose."
He laughed while he continued kneading your loaf that he was definitely going to claim as his now. "Maybe we could spend our half-anniversary in New York?"
Steve was going through a phase in which you could've never ever predicted, he hated going up to the compound now. He dreaded work trips, he hated how cold his room in the compound always seemed to feel, he despised all the memories that came to mind when he walked around.
From what you could understand through multiple conversations about this, he just didn't like being away from you. Being away from you when the blip happened and having no control over your arrest traumatized him in a way he would never admit, but in a way you could see in his eyes every time he had to leave town.
Regardless of what it was that made him resent the compound so much, you knew that it was a whole lot easier for him when you tagged along. So now he found a lot of creative reasons to try and drag you to New York.
Each reason was more creative than the last, and you said yes every single time he asked. At this point in your relationship, you were pretty sure you've spent over four months time in New York and it was starting to feel like a second home.
"You know you don't really need a reason to get me to New York right?" You smiled. "I'd love to spend our half anniversary with you, and I'll go with you to wherever you need to go."
"But coming up with a reason is half the fun" Steve admitted.
"Is this fun?" You questioned, motioning to the dough in your hands.
"This is exhausting!" He answered honestly, earning a laugh from you.
"You know what I love about going to the compound with you?"
"That Nat is there?" He questioned.
"That I get to learn about all the cool things you do for once. It's like going to the Avengers bakery and kneading the Captain America loaf!" You explained. "But yeah, I do love seeing Nat."
Steve giggled at your analogy, loving every second of watching your skillful hands try their absolute hardest to make his faulty dough pile work. "I'm always worried that you might be bored whenever I drag you with me."
"Bored?!" You emphasized. "My love, I'm a civilian in the Avengers compound. There's absolutely nothing boring about that."
"Okay, so next week you'll come with me?" He asked just to make sure.
"Of course" you reassured.
"Woohoo!" He shook his shoulders and hips in a little happy dance, hands sill focused on the dough. "Best day ever!"
You laughed at his response, "if this is the best day ever, then I think we should get out more."
"Okay, now is your chance to be honest with me." Steve prompted. "Does that dough lump have any potential at all of becoming anything close to a loaf of bread?"
"You know I love you very, very much?" You smiled, batting your eyelashes.
"Of course I do." Steve giggled.
"We're gonna have to squish this." You told him honestly. "But the bright side is that you're doing so well kneading that loaf, it'll be the prettiest, glutinous loaf to ever come out of this kitchen!"
"You said that so nicely, I'm not even upset about it" Steve shrugged, prompting you to smile.
You walked over to him and rocked up on your tippy toes before smacking a kiss to his cheek. "You're wonderful, we'll try again soon."
Before you knew it, you were right back in New York, smack dap in the compound. Whenever you were here you completely understood that Steve was here to work, so you never expected him to keep you entertained by any means. So you always brought your laptop and took care of business from the comfort of his room or the living room depending on what him and Nat were up to that day.
And 100% of the times you stepped foot into the Avengers home, whoever was lingering around always asked for you to bake them something, and you were always happy to say yes.
This particular night, Nat requested a chocolate chip cheesecake. After going to the store to get everything you needed, making all the parts and popping it in the oven, you started to do the dishes.
Muscular forearms wrapped around your stomach from behind, and the front of Steve's body warmly pressed against your back.
"How's it going, baby?" He questioned.
"Good, almost done in here." You responded while enjoying every second of his embrace. "How are you? Sleepy?"
"So tired." He confirmed. "I have a few hours of work left to get ready for the support group tomorrow but I think Nat is wrapping up for the night. You'll be okay?"
"Of course, I still have to input payroll and enter the supply delivery invoice for the bakery so I have plenty to do." You grinned, wiping your hands off so you could turn around to face him. When you did, you couldn't help but to admire him. His hair, his cute outfit, the fond yet tired look in his eyes. Reaching up, you squeezed his shoulders to try and relax his tense posture as his hands made their way to your hips. "You're so beautiful."
His cheeks turned pink before dropping his head onto your shoulder. "You're beautiful-er."
"Why does it have to be a competition? Just accept your handsomeness and move on" You giggled at his shyness, even after four and a half years together.
"Becauseeeee" he complained. "I'm lucky to have you, and I'm so happy you're here. Then, you're always really nice to me and all the people here that I love and I just can't even process how sweet you are."
You smiled before you both mutually leaned in for a kiss. "I promise you that I feel like the lucky one."
"Impossible." He shook his head in denial with his cheeks stilly adorably rosy. "Thank you for baking for us."
"Anytime, you know I love it."
Steve nodded in agreement. "I'll see you in a few hours?"
"I'll be here." You gave his shoulders another good squeeze. "We'll get those pretty eyes of yours some good rest."
By the time Steve finished up work and made his way back to the living quarters, it was already way past the bedtime he subconsciously made for himself to keep up with living with a baker. 10 at night felt like he had pulled an all nighter, and it seems as though that's how you felt as well considering he found you and Nat asleep on the couch.
Empty plates on the coffee table with Oreo crumbs being the only evidence of the cheesecake you made hours prior, and a movie that Steve had never even heard of playing on the TV provided the only source of light in the big space.
You and Nat had obviously gotten close and comfortable with each other, the shared blanket across your laps and your head plunked over onto Nat's shoulder with her head on top of yours made Steve smile and feel endlessly happy.
As much as you loved Nat, Steve knew Nat needed every drop of love and friendship you could give her. You both knew she was struggling ever since the blip, she spent every waking moment trying to monitor the world and find a solution. Steve didn't even know she was capable of settling down enough for even just a few hours to be able to fall asleep while watching a movie in the first place. You weren't just his sunflower, but everyone's who was lucky enough to earn your love.
Though he hated to break up the adorable scene in front of him, he was just as tired as the two of you evidently were and knew he should get you to bed.
He started by waking up Nat considering you were stuck beneath her. She was a light sleeper so it didn't take more than gently shaking her arm to wake her up, and she came to her senses quickly enough to immediately recognize what Steve was about to do.
"Good morning." Nat grinned, not lifting her head from the top of yours.
"Morning." Steve smiled. "Any chance I could get my girl back so I can send you two off to bed?"
"No. She's mine now." Nat denied. "Shes so cute and cuddly like a little puppy."
"You can have her back in the morning, but if she doesn't get some real sleep she gets a little grumpy." Steve bargained.
"Fine, but she's mine tomorrow. We're gonna go run some errands and grab lunch together."
"That sounds great, you could use a few hours away from this place." Steve encouraged.
"Just for that comment, I'm staying home." Nat joked.
"I will literally pay for both of you to go get your nails done if that means you'll get some fresh, non recirculated air." Steve sassed.
"A manicure and I get to take your girl out? Sign me up." She continued joking.
"The only conditions are that you go get some sleep and let me have nighttime custody of her so that she can get some sleep too."
"You're such a dad." She stated while carefully nudging your head off of her shoulder, then slowly standing up when she had successfully moved you off of her.
"Can I get you anything before you head off to bed?" Steve checked in.
"No, I'm okay. Thank you." She approached him and squeezed his shoulder before he just pulled her in for a hug anyways. "Goodnight, Rogers."
"Night, Romanoff." He reciprocated before letting go and she walked off into her room.
Now, he had you. His precious little lump on the couch. The dishes on the coffee table could be taken care of in the morning, and the TV would auto shut off in an hour or two. So he picked you up and held you tightly in his arms, and you immediately snuggled into neck.
He could tell you woke up at some point considering you started leaving little kisses to his exposed skin before he made it to his room. You were already in your pajamas ready to go, so he gently laid your down on the bed before he changed into some pajama shorts and brushed his teeth before laying down next to you.
Surprisingly, you were still awake and quick to pull the blankets over the two of you as you settled into each other. Appreciating the warmth of his soft bare skin, you laid your head on his chest and wrapped your arm tightly around his stomach, hand resting on the side of his rib cage.
You placed a little kiss to his collar bone before propping yourself up a bit on your arm to spark up a conversation you needed to get off your mind before you could truly get some restful sleep.
"How was the rest of your day, honey?" You questioned as one of his hands slipped up the back of your crewneck, the other drew little circles onto your hip.
"It was okay, pretty routine." He responded softly. "How's Nat doing?"
"That poor girl needs to get a life away from all of this." You sighed.
"I know" Steve nodded in agreement. "It's really hard to take a step back when you feel directly responsible, but it's not healthy. I've been encouraging her to get out more but she doesn't listen."
"I invited her to stay with us in Greenwood in a few weeks, hopefully she takes me up on that." You moved your hand up to his chest.
"That would be really fun." Steve grinned. "Did you have fun tonight?"
"Mhm, I mostly worked the whole time though." You admitted. "I actually wanted to talk to you about something before we sleep."
"What's going on?" He asked, you could tell he was paying a little closer attention now.
"So I ran some numbers on profit and what not, and just for shits and giggles I reached out to my lender and contractor to see if this was even a possibility when I had the idea but now that it's looking very possible, I wanted to see how you felt about this..."
"About what?" He raised an eyebrow in anticipation.
"What would you think about me opening a second location of the bakery?" You asked.
His face immediately lit up in a big smile. "Darling, that's incredible! You should absolutely do it if you feel comfortable enough."
"I do feel really good about it." You confirmed. His happy response made your heart soar. When you first opened Nice to be Kneaded, your last partner ridiculed you every single day. He thought the idea of owning a business would simply be too much of a challenge for you. He told you that you'd never succeed, that it would go under and cause debts for the rest of your life. Though you were at a point in your relationship with Steve where you never doubted his ability to be a kind person, his kindness still made you happy every single day. "The reason I really wanted to ask you is because I was advised the best location to break ground in would be New York."
His big smile grew even wider, and the corners of his eyes crinkled with adorable smile lines. "Are you for real?"
"Yeah" you giggled at his response.
"That makes me so happy!" He pouted his lip and furrowed his eyebrows. "I'm so proud of you."
"So I take it that you think this is a good idea?" The smile never left your face.
"I think it's the best idea you've ever had." He exaggerated.
"Then I guess I'll give it the green light first thing tomorrow morning." You settled the issue then settled back into his body.
The two of you talked for a little while about what life would look like with another bakery in New York. Both of you traveled back and forth so often now that dividing your time between two places was already second nature. He even pitched getting the two of you an apartment somewhere between the city and the compound so you both felt more at home when away from Greenwood. Though you loved the idea, you encouraged him to let all these thoughts settle for a day or two until you had a better idea on the logistics of this new endeavor. Besides, it was already late and you were both tired, there was nothing you could even arrange until the morning.
Though you felt settled and completely relaxed snuggled up to him, you played with his hair and tried to get him to relax too. You could feel his tension, but it was normal. No matter how exhausted he was, if he was at the compound his mind was busy and never quite turned off. His thoughts shifted from the happy thoughts of a future where the two of you hopped from bakery to bakery, big city Avenging to a small town simple life to something that had nothing to do with the sweet girl in bed giving him the most delightful cuddles he could've ever wanted.
You knew he was enjoying spending time with you even if his mind was up in the clouds, his hand that never stopped drawing shapes into your back told you that loud and clear.
"What are you thinking about, love?" You asked.
He let out a sigh and his eyes never left the ceiling, then his lips pressed into a straight line, then a forced grin and he finally looked at you. "What do we do if we can't find a way to undo what Thanos did?"
"What do we do," You motioned to the two of you "or what do the Avengers do?"
"Both. Either." He said, desperate to hear the right answer he couldn't find.
"Well I think both have the same answer." You shrugged. "Acceptance, then moving on."
He gave you the most adorable stink eye you've ever seen, so cute you had to hold back a giggle. "Why does everyone say that?"
"You preach it every time you hold a support group, no?" You questioned.
"That's different."
"How so?"
"Civilians aren't responsible for what happened, they deserve to live their lives exactly how they would if this never happened." He explained.
Whenever he spoke about the situation, you could feel a genuine pain in your chest. His feelings about the snap were like a rollercoaster. Some days, he could see the benefits, he could almost understand why Thanos did what he did. He could go about his day with acceptance, go to sleep with the intention of continuing to rebuild tomorrow. Then sometimes he'd wake up that next morning feeling the weight of every blipped person on his shoulders. As if he was the one who decided this needed to happen. That weight seemed to double every time he was in New York.
So with an ache in your heart, you tried to put a bandage over his. "Right now are you looking for the truth, or are you looking for reassurance?"
He groaned at your level-headedness, before shoving his face into your neck. "I'm looking for anything or anyone to just tell me it's going to be okay."
Understanding now that he needed reassurance instead of actual logical advice, you caressed the back of his head with your hand and used your other arm to hold him safe and sound against you. "Of course it's going to be okay, sweet boy.
"I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be so... grim, I just- I have to be strong all day every day for everyone else and sometimes you're the only one who can be strong for me." He admitted.
You kissed the top of his head a few times before providing the words he probably really needed to hear. "Life was okay yesterday, and the day before that, and it'll continue being okay tomorrow, and every day after that just like it has been for the past five years. Nobody blames you for what happened, and all of you guys deserve to move on too, not just civilians. The ground is still under your feet, the sky is still above your head and I'll never leave your side. The sun and moon are still taking turns, so I'm pretty confident when I say that everything is fine."
"That was great" Steve mumbled into your neck.
"Yeah? You feel any better?" You questioned with a smile.
"Mhm, I'm gonna use that in the support group tomorrow."
You smiled, though he couldn't see it before squeezing the back of his neck. "I love you, you're not going to bring back half the population from bed."
"I love you too, should I get up?"
"Go to sleep" You whispered directly into his ear, earning his sweet laugh that you loved so much.
"You first, traitor." Steve said playfully.
"Traitor?! Why am I a traitor?" You asked, feigning offense.
"You we're cuddling Natasha and not me." Steve fake cried.
You laughed before stating "Excuse me?! You've kissed Nat before, so I don't want to hear anything about my cuddles, sir!"
"Ugh?!" Steve was immediately taken back. "She kissed me and it was for a mission! Don't even start with that!"
You couldn't help but continue laughing at how flustered that statement made him. "Poor, Stevie! Your cheeks are so pink."
"I miss 10 seconds ago when you didn't bring that up." He pouted, a smile prevailing past his attempts to pretend like this conversation wasn't funny. "It was a life or death escape situation and we've never done anything romantic since then, okay?"
"I'm not bothered, baby" You continued smiling while prying his hands away from covering his face. "Were your bothered by our cuddles?"
"No, not at all." He denied. "I actually thought it was really adorable, I was just joking."
"And I think it's really cute that you and Nat shared a smooch" You pinched his cheek between two fingers.
"She implied that I was a bad kisser, by the way." Steve giggled. "So, neither of us enjoyed that experience."
You laughed at the confession before cooing, "awww poor, Stevie. Did that hurt your pride?"
"It wasn't a fair assessment, I wasn't ready for it." He defended himself.
"Exactly, you're a great kisser." You smoothed over the review that obviously stuck around with him for a while. "I know from experience!"
"Thanks, Baby. I appreciate your input on the matter." He gave your hip a nice squeeze.
"I'll be sure to talk to Nat about it in the morning to try and sway her opinions on it ." You joked.
"Absolutely do not do that" His eyebrows raised in horror.
You laughed once more before cupping his face and laying a long one on him. "I would never."
"Good, cause I think the sleepiness has taken over the both of our brains and made us a little crazy." He smiled.
You rested your head back onto its rightful spot on his shoulder, your hand rested over his heart and his free hand that wasn't on your back lovingly wrapped around your wrist. "Are you going to be able to shut your brain off long enough to fall asleep?"
"Of course" He appeased your worries about him. "I always sleep well when you're with me. You're like a little sleeping pill, the second you fall asleep on me, you put me to sleep too."
"Cheese ball" You poked fun at him with a content smile as you closed your eyes and wrapped the blankets tighter around the both of you.
"I might be cheesy, but I always will be. And I'm proud of it!" He agreed.
"I love it so much." You admitted. "And I love you so much."
"I love you too." He kissed the top of your head. "Goodnight, Sunflower."
"Sweet dreams, Stevie."
Not even two whole minutes of silence and attempts at sleeping went by before Steve gasped.
"Wait... are you asleep?" He asked, using his hands to dramatically shake you. "Wake up! This is important!"
"I'm awake, I'm awake!" You alerted his urgency. "Jeez dude, you're scrambling my brain."
"Oh good! You're awake!" He said. You didn't have to see his face to know he was wearing a big sarcastic smile. Steve's favorite hobby was definitely being a little shit.
"What a blessing." You mumbled.
"I forgot to ask you out on a date tomorrow night!" He enthused.
"Sorry dude, I think we're better just as friends." You carried on the tradition of your favorite inside joke.
"Sooooooo... should I cancel the engagement ring?" He quipped.
Recently the two of you were talking about getting married a lot, and if there was two things you both agreed on it's that a marriage was definitely in the books for the two of you soon, and that being engaged should never be truly be a surprise. Sure, time and place of the proposal as a surprise was the fun part, but both of you setting clear intentions and a well timed future that flowed at a comfortable pace for the two of you was important.
"A date sounds great!" You overly enthused.
"Great! I made dinner reservations without asking first so I'm glad you said yes."
"Risky business, Rogers." You smiled.
"Okay now go to sleep." He giggled.
"You first..." You poked his chest with very low effort.
When the morning came, you were up and out way before Steve was to start your morning with Nat. She wanted to get back to the compound before a planned call with affiliates of the Avengers, so the two of you snuck out before most of the compound was awake. Much like most mornings when you woke up before Steve, you covered him up with the blankets nice and snug, kissed him goodbye, and wished him a great day.
A nice long walk and chat followed by coffee, breakfast, and a nice relaxing manicure had Nat feeling brand new.
You dropped her off at the compound then left again to meet up with a friend of yours that lived pretty close by. While catching up on each others lives for a few hours, Steve called you.
Figuring he didn't realize you were busy, you denied the call to clue him in to text you instead. You often times did this if he needed to get through to you at work. But this time, your sunflower necklace lit up four times, a number that didn't have a code attached, then your phone rang again.
Figuring it was probably important, you excused yourself and quickly picked up the call.
"Hi, baby." You spoke timidly into the phone.
"Hi, I'm sorry to interrupt I know you're busy." He sighed. You could tell by his tone that his brain was fried.
"No worries, is everything okay?" You questioned.
"Remember Scott Lang? Ant-Man?" He asked.
"Yeah, yeah I do." You nodded though he couldn't see you. "He was blipped right?"
"You see, that's the weird part." Steve puffed out a confused chuckle. "He's at the compound. He just... showed up."
"What?!" You said louder than you probably should, earning weird looks from strangers around you.
"Yeah, he was stuck in the quantum realm and now he's here, and we think-" He started but cut himself off to think about how he was going to phrase this without worrying you.
But the pause was deafening. "You think what?"
"I think you should make your way back here whenever you're done with your friend so we can talk about it more."
"That sounds so scary" You admitted.
"No, everything is fine. I promise." He reassured you.
"Should I come home right now?"
"No, baby, it's okay" He tried to calm you down once again. "Nothing to be anxious about. I just think we need to visit Tony and get a few other ducks in a line and I want to make sure I can get you someplace safe before we start looking into this more."
"So you guys found some good hope?" You asked, this time with a smile knowing that's exactly what Steve needed.
"A lot of hope and possibly the craziest pipe dream of all time, but we can get into that when you get here, okay?"
"Okay" You sighed. "Everyone's okay?"
"Everyone is fine." Steve smiled. "I want you to keep having fun with your friend. I'll see you later."
"See you soon. Love you"
"Love you too."
Though he tried his hardest to reassure you that everything was fine, you couldn't clear your head of the endless possibilities of what this could mean for the future of the whole universe. Those thoughts didn't even allow you to fully appreciate or give your undivided attention to your friend, so you called it a day as soon as you could. And when you arrived back at the compound, you immediately spotted Steve sitting outside on a bench.
You could tell his mind was occupied by a billion racing thoughts, his breathing was steady and there was a pinch in his brows.
Approaching slowly and sitting next to him, he wrapped you up in a side hug before kissing your temple and letting you go. "What's going on, Honey?"
He sighed in appreciation as your hand found its way to his back, rubbing long, firm strips up and down to comfort him. "We think we can time travel."
"What?" Your hand stopped in place.
"Go back in time before Thanos, get the stones from a bunch of different points in time, snap again." Steve explained like it was the most simple idea in the world.
"But..... how?" You we're blown away by the possibility, but the biggest part of you was terrified of what that meant for him, the world, and the entire future.
"Something to do with pym particles and a quantum tunnel, I don't really understand it." Steve explained, his mind was wandering miles away from him. "We have Bruce en route to work on that, but we're going to get Tony. Try to assemble the whole team again."
You didn't quite have the words at the moment, nor the time to even process this as a possibility. Whenever you couldn't quite grasp a concept that was much larger than you, but whenever you felt so tiny in the vastness of the universe, Steve was always there to put you on his shoulders and make you feel big again. "How do you feel about this?"
"I feel ready to just get it done." He explained.
"Are you scared?" You plopped your head down onto his shoulder, he nestled his cheek into the crown of your head.
"No" He denied softly. "Are you?"
"If you're not then I'm not" You smiled. That was a lie, but you always tried to not burden him with your own fears.
Though letting him out of your grasp and straight into battles often appeared in your own nightmares, you reeled in your feelings as to not disrupt his own peace. As often as you wanted to tell him to be careful, beg him not to do risky things like go to space in a ship being piloted by a raccoon to kill a titan that killed half the universe, you trusted him. His entire life was rich with risk assessment that only made him more and more successful the more he lived.
So if he wasn't scared, you'd try not to be either.
"Well, maybe that's a lie. Maybe I am a little scared." Steve retracted his statement.
"Well shit" You joked, earning a laugh from the sweet man.
"I'm scared it's not going to work, and I'm scared of putting anything on the line when my only goal for the future is a life with you." He admitted. "Everything else, I'm not scared of."
This time, your arms wrapped him up and didn't let him go. He was letting his Steve Rogers shine through in a place you typically only saw Captain America. Though he would argue that those two people were the same, you thought he was so very wrong.
Steve was still the little guy he once was. Sensitive and gentle, he'd cry over videos of cute animals doing cute things, decorate cookies with you and asked to be cuddled for as long as he could get you to stay still. But Cap... Cap was strong. Nothing could tear him down. When the uniform was on or public and teammates eyes were on him, he had to be the leader. He stood tall, refused to shed a tear regardless of any circumstance thrown his way. Everyone looked at him to guide them through.
You loved both versions of him, and both were truthful of his character, but it was also true that Steve was a version of himself he was only comfortable showing to the people he loved the most.
So you gave Cap the space he needed to be firm and strong, and gave Steve the space he needed to be vulnerable. Sometimes that looked like a little snuggle on a bench outside of the Avengers compound.
Very surface level and as deep down as could be, he knew that Cap couldn't be the fighter he was without you nurturing Steve. He was strong because you were compassionate, and everyday he amounted his power to you.
"I love you so very much," you started.
"But?" He raised an eyebrow, already anticipating the kicker.
"But doing this is exactly what you need in order for you to live the life you want." You explained. "You and I both know you'd live the entire rest of your life with guilt if the Avengers don't find a way to fix this. And though I don't agree that any of this is your fault, I know you feel that burden every single day. So in a certain way, I think for once, this is a great fight for yourself."
He sat and considered it for a second. "I don't have it in me to fight for myself, so I'm going to consider this a fight for you."
"A happy, relaxing future with you is all I want." You kindled his fire. Though you wished he could fight for himself, any incentive to get him through would work in this moment. "And i'd love to see Sam again and meet Bucky."
"I miss them so much" Steve stated, you could hear the sadness in his voice.
You lifted your head to give him a kiss. Your soft lips mingled for a little while before pulling away and resting your forehead against his. "Everything is going to be okay."
"I think so too" He agreed.
"And if it doesn't pan out the way you all hope, then I hope you know that everything will be okay that way too."
"Well that's not an option." He gently shook his head.
"Hard headed!" You pulled away and raised your hand to gently poke him right in the center of his forehead. He laughed, knowing his words would irritate you. "You drive me crazy!"
"I love driving you crazy" His smile prevailed.
"Really? I couldn't tell." You said sarcastically, feeling the effects of his contagious smile.
"And I'd love it even more if I can keep annoying you on our date tonight." He brought up.
"Stevie" Your face softened. "We can reschedule that if you need to, you know I understand."
"No, I definitely don't want to cancel that." He denied firmly. "Not to bring up the past or anything, but the last time I rescheduled a date it didn't turn out too well for me."
"Awwwww" You cooed. "Classic Cap history"
"Yeah, and we're rewriting it because I'm not doing that again" he said with a chuckle.
"I'm more than happy to help you out with that" You agreed, giving his leg a little squeeze. "How's Scott doing? I'm sure this is a lot to process."
"He seems to be doing alright, but that leads me to something Nat and I talked about that I wanted to present to you."
"What's up?"
"It's no secret that you're kind've one of the most amazing and comforting humans alive, and we were supposed to go home in 2 days but..." He took a moment to find the right words. "I'm my best when you're around, and whether you've noticed or not, everyone is happier when you're here. So we were wondering if you could stay a little longer just to kinda help keep spirits up. I know you have the bakery at home but it could be a pretty crucial part in saving half the world."
"I can't imagine I'd have any crucial part in any of that, but I'll stay for you alone." You giggled.
"Obviously I'll bring you home before the time travel happens because it's such unknown territory, I'd want you far away from the compound. But we're going to bring everyone we've got here, including Thor who we heard is going through a rough patch. I think your love would go a far way."
"And cookies" You grinned.
"Cookies would definitely help."
"Can Rocket eat chocolate chips?" You pondered.
"He's a raccoon, not a dog." Steve reminded you.
"That doesn't answer my question." You eyebrow raised. "What about Nebula? Do cyborgs eat food? Ooh! I know Bruce likes chocolate, and Tony likes hazelnut because they had those Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavors so maybe I'll make Nutella cookies so it's the best of both worlds. Do you know what Rhodey likes? I have Nat covered. Thor probably li-"
"Baby, Baby" Steve cut you off with a giggle. "Don't stress yourself out now. You're not here to take care of us, just keep being you"
"This is me." You laughed. "Have you ever seen me not like this?"
"You know what? That's fair." He agreed.
"Ooh! And I bet Nat knows exactly what Clint would want!" You chirped. "...I should call the bakery..."
Tumblr media
Next Part: Crawl Home to You
Tag List: @patzammit @bemysugarbean @buckymydarlingangel @happinessinthebeing @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @differenttyphoonwerewolf @themotherof10 @talesofadragon @spikeluv84 @royalwriteroftheuniverse @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @bitchy-bi-trash @crazyunsexycool @openup-yourmind @selella @kattreffic @benedict-squirtle @magnificentsaladllama @theroyalmanatee @calwitch @avengersinitiative2012 @rogersbarber @daddywattpad4945
192 notes · View notes
cosmicraysandstuff · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
I posted 975 times in 2022
That's 384 more posts than 2021!
4 posts created (0%)
971 posts reblogged (100%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@outrunningthedark
@iamdeltas
@lilacblossoms
@lovecolibri
@kinnsporsche
I tagged 975 of my posts in 2022
#kinnporsche cast - 92 posts
#kinnporsche - 86 posts
#kinnporsche the series - 69 posts
#jeff satur - 51 posts
#ofmd - 40 posts
#apo nattawin - 38 posts
#🥰😍🥰😍 - 38 posts
#porsche kittisawasd - 33 posts
#stranger things - 32 posts
#🥰😍 - 30 posts
Longest Tag: 118 characters
#the fact that the tax write-off means that those movies and shows are gonna be locked away forever is fucking bullshit
My Top Posts in 2022:
#4
*sigh* So, I started up my Louis Tomlinson blog again, after several years, cuz I finally have the mental/emotional energy to maintain it, and it looks like my blog might've been shadowbanned. The name of the blog was "let go" at one point, because I was inactive, but when I went to rename my blog, the original name was still available. So, I saved it again.
I sent a ticket to Tumblr support, but I'm wondering if I should just change the name all together. But I'm not sure if that would help? It's just frustrating, cuz a lot is happening with Louis's new song/album and I want to be able to interact with fellow fans/reblog/etc. 😢
Any suggestions are welcomed.
0 notes - Posted September 2, 2022
#3
This song is helping to cheer me up, when everything gets to be too much.
Plus? I'm always down for a fun song about my city. 🥰😍🗽🌞
0 notes - Posted July 9, 2022
#2
Music Recs
1. Louis Tomlinson has a new single out today - "Bigger than Me" - and it just showcases how much his songwriting and vocals have grown. I'm so happy that he got to tour this year, (after the personal and professional obstacles he had to contend with the past few years), and I'm thrilled that he'll be able to release his 2nd album in November.
His songs have gotten me through some pretty bad times and I'm so proud to be his fan. 🥰😍
2. Blackpink - "Pink Venom" - my girls are back and I couldn't be happier. 😍 They're still really the only Kpop group I follow at the moment, (though I'm starting to look into other groups), and their music just energizes me so much. I know that there are some fans who don't like the new single, but I appreciate how it's different from their previous songs, without going too far in another direction. Their talent still kills me, I swear. 😘
3. Rina Sawayama - she has a new EP out and I adore every song on it. Her vocals in "Phantoms" and "Catch Me in the Air" are breathtaking and I continue to adore her lyrics. I'm so glad that I followed up on that Tumblr post I found a few months ago about Rina, cuz I've become such a huge fan of her music, and I hadn't heard of her before that. I HIGHLY recommend checking her out. 🥰😍
See the full post
1 note - Posted September 1, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Happy 10th anniversary to Gravity Falls today!
Happy 10th anniversary to Night Vale today!
And Happy 12th anniversary to me officially moving to NYC today!
I never remember to acknowledge the day, so I'm glad I remembered this year.
🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
2 notes - Posted June 15, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
2 notes · View notes