#I can only watch it in my native language which means no subs

[cookiesaddict]

When you want to watch tbt tomorrow in cinema but you have bad hearing and there are no subtitles:

#why does this always happen #i hate this #I can only watch it in my native language which means no subs #no consideration for deaf people #I will probably not hear most of it #praying that I will hear most of it #trolls trollstopia #trollstopia #trolls holiday in harmony #trolls branch #trolls movie #dreamworks trolls #trolls 3 #trolls #trolls band together #trolls floyd #trolls john dory #trolls bruce #trolls clay #trolls poppy #trolls viva #trolls brozone #brozone

[learningtolearntolearn]

How to learn French with Miraculous Ladybug

Are you so obsessed with Miraculous that you wish you could watch it in the original (and acc to Astruc, also canon) language? It's actually not as hard as you might think! Even if you've studied French at school for years and still can't understand what's going on without English subs, then this is for you.

I've been heavily inspired by the Refold and Cure Dolly method, this is my spin on it. You can use this method for any language and piece of media, tbh.

First of all you'll need Anki, which is a digital flashcard program, which will let you review vocabulary at regular intervals, to remember them long term. Here is the official manual, and here's a guide that's more catered to language learning.

Step 1: The Basics

You need to have a solid base of French before you can jump into watching native material. If you've studied French to a highschool-ish level, you can probably skip this step.

Here is my guide on how to learn the basics of French enough to immerse properly.

Step 2: Watching the Show

Before you start, I'd recommend watching the show first in French with English subtitles, or just raw French if you're brave enough. I believe it's on Disney+ (If you want another place to watch it from, DM me). You'll need to know the plot of the episode well enough before you start sentence mining.

To get the French text, here is the page of transcriptions. Unfortunately, there's only a limited number avaliable, so you'll only be able to sentence mine from those episodes. From what I've heard, the Disney+ subtitles are pretty inaccurate. The other option might be to use a VPN and set location to France and see if this gives you subtitles that are "French (CC)".

So what is sentence mining?

Above, I've left a link with a brief explanation, but in short, you find a sentence with one unknown word, put the sentence on the front of your Anki card, then put the unknown word on the back. The advantage to making sentence cards instead of just vocab cards is that now you will be reading French sentences everyday, and seeing the words in context, rather than isolated.

I like to dedicate a time to sit down with the transcript and go through the whole episode. Every time I find a word that I don't understand, I look it up in the dictionary. I use WordReference. When you get a little more advanced, I'd switch to definitions from the French dictionary. Then I make a sentence card. Where I can, I add a photo and audio onto the back of the card. If the word seems to be something pretty obscure and you think you don't need it, you don't have to make a card. However, if you see the word more than once, it's probably common enough that you'll need to remember it. Here's an example of one of my sentence cards.

If there's an unknown phrase or idiom, put the whole phrase on the back of the card. Here's an example:

If you just can't find something at all after searching, it could mean there was a typo in the transcript. You can either leave it, or go back to the episode and try to work out what they said. The other option is that it is a word play or pun. You might just have to leave it until you're better at French. Alternatively, you can DM me and I'll do my best to help!

Once I have my sentence cards, I study 10-15 new cards per day, plus all of my reviews. If I fully understand the sentence and the unknown word, I select "Good", and Pass on the cards I don't understand.

But this isn't enough to fully learn French, just to learn new vocab, so there's one more final step.

Step 3: Improving your Listening Comprehension

Each episode you sentence mine will give you a large quantity of vocabulary to learn, especially in the beginning. Whilst I'm learning new vocab, I listen to audio of the show whilst I'm doing tasks that don't require much thinking. These include:

Doing the dishes

Going for a walk

Cleaning and tidying my living space

Cooking

Whilst I play Stardew Valley

Commuting

I make a playlist of all the episodes I have studied and put in on shuffle whilst I do the things listed above. This way, I am listening to French for at least one hour per day, whilst simultaneously revising vocabulary, and getting used to spoken French.

Getting audio of the show is tricky. Currently, I have to download the episode, extract the audio in VLC, and then I cut out unnecessary parts of the audio (theme and end song, transformations, using powers, fight sequences with no speaking) in Audacity. I'm working on a way to share this condensed audio atm!

Now go and learn French!

If you follow this method, you'll be amazed at how quickly you pick up French grammar and vocabulary naturally, with minimal study, and soon you'll be able to watch and episode of Miraculous without subs and understand the majority of it. Bonne chance !

#miraculous lb #mlb #language learning #french language #langblr #miraculous language learning guide #learn french with miraculous ladybug

[digitalwitchmayura]

[incomplete] Unofficial miscellaneous Mayura trivia

What is the meaning of the ‘Wiz’ in ‘Nanika Wiz Mayura’?

Nanika with (ghost name) was a common format for ghost titles, starting with Sakura/Nin-i-tan

A tribute and clever pun to the legendary Wizardry series - a series of role-playing video games, developed by Sir-Tech, that were highly influential in the evolution of modern role-playing video games. The original Wizardry (released in 1981)was a significant influence on early console role-playing games such as Final Fantasy and Dragon Quest. Originally made for the Apple II, the games were later ported to other platforms.

 Wizardry IV: The Return of Werdna, released by Sir-Tech in 1987, is famously the hardest game in the history of computer RPGs. There is nothing harder. The majority of those who have played it were unable to leave the very first room. It’s like the ancient blueprint of the RPGs we know and love today. 

I find it a groundbreaking feat that the game was re-programmed from scratch and is somewhat playable within Mayura’s dialogue, despite being an English game this is the biggest obstacle to translate for me. 

Wizardry has recently opened an official english site for the first time to promote the remake, you can see the history of it there

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

help, I don't understand Mayura's references!

That's okay, me neither when it comes to many of them.

many of her references stem from a magazine called Micom BASIC(マイコン BASIC), one of the oldest running gaming magazines focusing on microcomputers.

up until as recently as 2022 it was near impossible to find any archives of Micom BASIC, but you can check out some scans of them (untranslated) here:

 https://retrocdn.net/Category:Micom_BASIC_scans

https://archive.org/details/micomBASIC19841994

 also highly recommend this translator's blog if this sort of stuff interests you - @thearkhound they've made some really accurate and insightful english translations of never before seen interviews with legendary game devs like Shigeru Miyamoto from Micom BASIC.

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

but as someone who struggles with having the attention span to complete classic RPGs  (many being obscure, japan release only and too expensive on the second hand market as well) it's helped me immensely to casually watch Gamecenter CX and the Wizardry OVA to get a better grasp of some of the terms and spells she uses.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

SA-GCCX English Subtitled Downloads and Information:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wizardry OAV (1991):

Some versions of your translation differ with what club Mayura is the president of, what’s the deal with that? Which club is she the president of?

To be honest it’s hard to say because she changes the answer every time, but there is a part of Mayura’s script as well as a little javascript code on her now defunct official blog which randomly generates a club title, picking from various retro gaming keywords, before twitter’s API was destroyed there was a widget where you could hit 'join club' by sharing it to a Twitter hashtag. from what I can gather She’s formed a whole lot of gaming clubs and is simultaneously leading all of them at once.

How come Mayura identifies as both a wizard and a girl? (or ‘Why is she a Digital Witch?’)

(a few explanations for this but TLDR; there’s a ton of inconsistencies spanning my various translations of Mukei’s homepage, it seems like wizard and witch are interchangeable in retro RPGS, sorry if it’s confusing) 

During the earliest days of RPGs ( especially J-RPGS from the years 1982-1987), Wizard was usually a gender neutral or unisex character class. 

Native Japanese speakers say “mahoutsukai” normally to mean ‘wizard’ in Japanese. mahoutsukai – 魔法使い (まほうつかい) : a noun meaning ‘wizard’ in Japanese. This can also work as plural. Depending on the context and situation, this can also mean ‘witch’ in Japanese.

The Japanese kanji for ‘wizard’ is Mahou Tsukai, which is directly ‘Magic user’ and does not specify a gender, Mayura’s favourite game (and ghost namesake) is Wizardry and a majority of her personality and dialogue is based around it, so it felt fitting to translate it to Wizard. 

“Witch”/”Digital Witch” and “Wizard” are used in english interchangeably in (untranslated) 2010s iteration of Mayura’s blog so I'd say it's probably up to personal preference, both are correct

in the history of programming, Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs (SICP) is a computer science textbook by Massachusetts Institute of Technology professors Harold Abelson and Gerald Jay Sussman with Julie Sussman. It is known as the "Wizard Book" in hacker culture and refers to programming or hacking as magic, using sorcerer's spells to invoke the processes within the machine . (which I'm too uneducated to fully understand but my reasoning is that wizards = hacker and technology related)

Why does Mayura speak so strangely?

Her only knowledge of human culture or the 21st century is learnt solely through archaic RPGs and reading through strategy guides or obscure out of print magazines like Micom BASIC. According to her extended lore, 400 years ago she was a human living in the real world,  but she was an orphan and the village she lived in shunned her and tried to burn her at the stake. it's said in some of the Mayura Maniacs reference sheets that before her current life as a desktop buddy, she was an orphan and an alchemist named Unyx took her in as his student, protecting her and teaching her to control her magic powers. in order to save her from being executed, he had to transmute her soul into a 6-pointed star bracelet. Mayura was 20 years old at that time and lost all memory of her previous life when she was re-awakened in the 20th century and many of her favorite games were released in the founding years of gaming before my time during the 80s and 90s

#info #mayura #Ukagaka #w.i.p #thanks again for your patience ;-; #digital witch mayura

[real-life-senshi]

for the pgsm subtitles, I was wondering if you knew if the seaofserenity subs are more accurate than the ones you're watching? that was the version I watched, and I'm curious to know the difference.

thank you so much!

Hello hello!

Yes, I can confirm seaofserenity subs have better translation and subtitle quality than Miss Dream subs! It's generally more accurate and has a better grasp of the nuance in the Japanese dialogue!

Here's an example comparison using the scene I was most critical of for mistranslation with the Miss Dream sub.

Seaofserenity sub

Miss Dream sub (+ my own re-translation)

The fact the Seaofserenity managed to eloquently include the piece I mentioned about Ami aiming for "100 points" into its subtitle as a "perfect score" shows they are much more proficient in writing subtitles than I am as well!

However, as you can see from my screenshot, the copy rendered by Seaofserenity has a stretched video ratio horizontally, turning PGSM's 4:3 video ratio into 16:9. The visual colour quality is also a bit off (slightly faded)with Seaofserenity. As a video editor, gif maker and visual-quality snob, that's why I went with Miss Dream with live blogging. haha

That being said though, a perfect translation across languages is nearly impossible to achieve. While Seaofserenity sub is generally more accurate, they still may not always be catching the same nuances from the original dialogue I bring up in my live blog.

Another example from this scene is this:

Miss Dream sub & my own re-translation

Seaofserenity subs

Both Miss Dream and Seaofserenity translated "ura" as "dark", instead of "hidden" like I did.

I hope this helps, and hope you get to enjoy watching the show! :D

While I know you were only asking basically a Yes/No question, I want to also take this chance to explain myself a bit better...

While I have been critical of Miss Dream's sub, it's important for me to continue to reiterate that the efforts Miss Dream sub has made for this fandom are tremendously positive and should be celebrated, and the only reason why I can make those critiques and go deep into semantics is that I'm NOT actually trying to sub a show fully. It's incredibly hard to rewrite a script and try to make every single line cohesively written, especially when Japanese has such a different grammar structure. I can do what I do when live blogging because I can both "re-translate" and have the space to explain myself. When you are actually subbing a full episode, not to mention a full series, that space for explanation does not exist and you can only make the best choice forward. I would also weigh writing a good story through the scripted lines above aiming for full accuracy. At the end of the day, both Miss Dream and Seaofserenity undoubtedly delivered a great story to non-Japanese, English-speaking audiences via subbing the live-action!

I'm also not sure about Seaofserenity and Miss Dream sub if either subtitle team members are fluent Japanese speakers, or may include native Japanese speakers or not. Where I do feel very fortunate is I'm Cantonese born and grew up in an environment where Cantonese and English are simultaneously being regularly used, which means trying to translate and navigate two languages with significantly different grammar structures is quite second nature to me in my mind to catch all these nuances. Japanese grammar and vocabulary are much more relatable and connected to Cantonese/Chinese than English, so that gives me an edge in understanding some of the cultural and linguistic context just from hearing the dialogue, including recognizing and grasping the full meaning of words or idioms that English just doesn't have a direct equivalent for.

I also studied linguistics in my undergraduate studies with a special interest in semantics, so analyzing text and going hard on explanation is something I'm very used to and enjoy. lmao

#khmyh replies #anonymous #khmyh translates #pgsm act 16

[paulisliveblogs]

Welp, that was ep 1!

I loved it! Seems fun~

Nagisa has a lot of personality we saw a lot of her compared to Honoka. Can't wait to learn more of her!

They aren't generic, and that's cool.

I'll be watching the sub rather than the dub I'll binge the dub after I'm done with the Pretty Cure live blog. Since English isn't my native language and in the images it shows what the characters say, it'll be more understandable for me and who ever ever reads this xd.

I will say I will mourn the loss of Nagisa saying she wishes she was smart instead of the admired by girls comment.

I mean she very much reminds me of when I was in denial lol (not only that, delusional, it was after making out with a girl) of my queerness at 13. But I really liked the idea of her calling Meple with a wish to be smarter to her.

I'll also watch with subs because I like to see the closest I can get to the original intent.

Rewatched the opening with subs on and it's very "We're great, pretty and strong, we'll get better and defeat the monster!" And the we'll be closer, which is very "power of friendship!!" Nothing much to note there. Except it says they're tough without their powers too and that's great.

Our villain, Pissy, didn't know what the cellphones are capable of. What's he after, then? The stones are something entirely different.

Till next one!

#pretty cure liveblog #pretty cure #pretty cure 01 #pretty cure end of episode #Pauli's Liveblogs #futari wa precure

[taohs]

Exactly! People who complain that there isn't ever any strong female characters has never watched or read the Black Lagoon series (which is just my opinion on this). These female characters are complex in so many humane and inhumane ways depending on your perspective of these characters. I mean... Yeah there are strong male characters too, but the female characters completely overshadow them in every way.

And that was why Rei Hiroe wrote his characters like that. Because to him, women are stronger than men. He mentioned it in an interview. I might have to try finding it for you, at least if I can still find that quote for you. I really thought his opinion about women was interesting too.

Without spoiling details! I will say this... You do learn more about a lot of the female characters next season. You'll mostly learn more about Balalaika's past during the entire season, you'll learn more about Eda (the blonde nun) who comes back next season - including her past, Shenhua (Taiwanese woman) comes back, along with so many other female characters too. You will find out about some of Revy's past, but that won't be until Roberta's Blood Trail ova.

The manga is much farther into the plot. A lot of backstories are now mentioned, actually the most recent chapters brings up Dutch's, but I haven't had the chance to read it yet. I'll have to find ways to read the manga online again. Hopefully they continue the anime adaption too.

I will say Balalaika does get much more ruthless. Which could be a good or bad thing, depending on what your perspective during the events of next season. But I won't say any more than that though.

And you finished the season in English?

What did you think of Eda, Yolanda and Shenhua? What about Chang and Leigharch? So many interesting characters to keep track of.

~~~

Well... Like I said before. I know it might not seem it. But I do respect everyone's preferences on which languages they prefer whenever any of them watch anime. For me personally, I'll only ever watch anime in English. So I will say that when Black Clover first came out many fans said the preferred the English over Japanese because Asta's actor did seem like obnoxious to them. And regardless of which language you'd watch the show in, whether you watch in English or Japanese, Asta's character does get less annoying at the series progressess.

- 💋

so true! it's not to say that the male cast are poorly written, because they aren't, but they don't hold a candle to the female casts. i think many authors mistaken "strong female characters" as women who can fight without any further depths to their character, but i don't see that issue here, especially with the female leads. i'm currently on episode 11 of season 2! i should be able to finish it by tomorrow and start the ovas, i really love it. i think i thoroughly enjoyed this one more since i get to see more of the women in action, even though some of the arcs were absolutely horrifying and insane (like the ones with the twins... that one left an impact on me.) i LOVED seeing more of balalaika, especially having a glimpse of the flashbacks when she was younger and in the middle of the soviet war. i think she made it up to the top 3 fictional women who terrifies me the most, but i love and admire her so much. also she is so attractive my god

yes i watched the anime in dubbed! it sounded natural and i appreciated the little details that they added, like balalaika's accent slipping when she's pissed off and the character's native languages added here and there. i did rewatch some episodes in subbed for comparison but i do think that both versions were great for them. the only episode where i switched to subbed was when rock had to translate between the russian and japanese. they didn't have subtitles for the japanese and i got confused after a while lol :')

i really like eda and her dynamic with revy, everytime they're on screen together i know things are going to go down. their frenemies relationship is also golden. at one point i got really concerned that one of the twins were going to kill her, and i'm so glad that they didn't. i hope i can see more of her! it was the same with shen hua too, i was really shocked when i thought she was going to die in her fight with eda. her, yolanda and chang are part of the "really badass characters that i want to know more about" but i don't think i've seen enough of them to have more thoughts 😭 leigharch was funny, but i dont think he added anything to the story

the only character that i don't feel too fondly about is rock. i liked him in the beginning, but not too much now that i'm nearing the end of the second season. i'm going to wait to finish everything before i say anything to see if things change though. what are your thoughts on him? and on the other characters you mentioned?

#answered #💋 anon

[mingiswow]

Boyfriend!Han

⚠ English is not my native language, so pardon me if there’s any mistake. And you can always tell me what’s wrong.

quokka boy™

we all know for a fact that he is a dangerous one

because he’ll approach you slowly

and start by making you laugh and feel comfortable in his presence

so just like my mom always says:

he’ll make you laugh, then laugh and laugh a little more, and when you see you’re naked in his bed

you were one of the newest additions on their team in jype

so when you were introduced to him and the boys he felt how uneasy you were

not only because of them

but because it was your dream job and you were really afraid to ruin everything

and he might not seem like but he is very observant

so when he saw your nervousness, he came to talk to you

and even offered to show you around the building

all the time he was saying silly things and telling silly stories about what happened in those places

“This is our main practice room. once I tried to do a backflip alone and almost broke my neck in here”

and you know the drill… you guys got closer and closer

to the point where you developed feelings for each other

but he was too oblivious - or in denial - of his own

so when the boys set you two on a secret date, he felt his heart swell

because you looked so so beautiful

and he never thought you’d feel the same as him

because we all know how insecure he is

and he always thought you would never date someone like him

but look at you two

all lovey-dovey after you started dating

Han is the typical clown boyfriend

he makes you laugh just to see your smile

and he loves how your cheeks get all puffed and red from laughing so much

is his favorite look on you

and the most common thing with you two is one starting laugh and the other follows suit and when you see you are laughing at each other’s laugh for half an hour

he is the type to enjoy home dates

he’ll always have some new ideas

cooking, playing games, watching movies, reading books, building legos

you name it

he talks a lot

so you expect him to vent a lot with you

be a good listener to him and you guys are good

he is also a good listener

but sometimes he can’t take things seriously and crack some jokes in moments that shouldn’t

which can lead you to be mad

but he’ll always apologize

it’s just his way of dealing with problems

also I don’t feel like you guys fight at all

besides these moments when he can’t take things seriously

he’s pretty chill

since he vents a lot with you, you always know how to help him

he is very good at communicating with you

so you always know how he’s feeling as well

he loves giving you gifts

it’s just that everything reminds him of you

you probably have a whole shelf full of little figurines, toys, and trinkets he bought in different places for you

he loves giving you flowers

so when he’s away because of work and you told him you were a bit off he instantly sent you flowers

and they always have some meaning behind

he loves calling you different names of flowers that mean love

so expect being called daisy, tulip, rose and even daffodil lol

also receiving said flowers

Han is really big on pda

he doesn’t give a single fuck

he loves holding your hand, fingers intertwined

hands on your knees, on your tights, waist

hugging

kissing

omg he is a kisser

he loves kissing you all over your face, neck, arms

his kisses are as cheeky as him

so sweet, tender and childish

but whenever you guys are alone things change

NSFW from here on

my job here is to bring sub jisung agenda

he’s a switch tbh but leans more to submit

he is a very whiny and loud sub

he loves to whine and complain about how bad you are to him

yet he’ll take everything you give to him

like I said he’s loud and he loves being loud

to the point you have to gag him not because you love the drooling mess he makes but so he can be quieter

and he loves every second of it

unlike everyone thinks he’s a brat, he’s not

he’s a very good boy

because he loves the praising

he might come undone untouched with just praise and degradation

speaking about that: he loves it

call him your dumb little slut and he’s yours

but on days he doesn’t feel like subbing he is more on the vanilla side

sweet lovemaking

taking his time with you

kissing all over your body

but don’t expect him to go down on you every time

but he loves using toys or his fingers

he takes pride in them

another one that’s not a big fan of aftercare

he just likes to hug tightly around your body and fall asleep

oh! and expect morning sex the next morning because he definitely had a wet dream about the prior night

#han jisung #jisung #stray kids #skz #kpop #han x reader #jisung x reader #skz x reader #kpop x reader #kpop headcanon #skz headcanon #stray kids headcanon #han headcanon #han scenario #jisung scenario #skz scenario #stray kids scenario #kpop scenarios #kpop reactions #skz reactions #stray kids reaction #han fluff #jisung fluff #kpop fluff #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #han smut #jisung smut #stray kids smut #skz smut

[krakenartificer]

Hi Raina! I'd like to appeal to your hard-won wisdom on The Adult World-- do you think it's possible to teach yourself/find online resources to help learn things like data analysis? I want to look at numbers and graphs and spreadsheets for money but don't know what resources are good enough to trick capitalism and bosses into hiring me for it!

Oh, yeah, 100% Source: I pretty much did that. So first the disclaimers: I did have a bachelor's degree in applied mathematics, and I did shell out for an MBA as my happy-divorce-day present to myself. I know that I really don't use either of those things in my day-to-day work, but hiring managers probably are considering them when they look at my resume. I'm also white, a native English speaker, and talk like an educated middle-class suburbian, which I'm sure also play into mangers' willingness to give me the benefit of the doubt. So my exact path may not work for you. That said, data, in particular, has several advantages right now:

1) Demand is large, and supply is small. If my department doubled in size, we could still not quite answer all of the questions the business leaders are asking of us. I don't think there's been a moment that I've worked for this company that we didn't have a least one job slot we were hiring for. In addition to making this a lucrative industry, it also makes it fairly easy to break into, because hiring managers are willing to accept far less perfect candidates if only they can get someone who knows something working on this project.

2) The field is changing very fast. No one knows what languages or software we'll be using a year from now, so it doesn't really matter that much if you don't know the one we happen to be using right now. Supervisors are much more concerned with "When it turns out we have to switch our entire reporting scheme to Scala, will you be able to learn that?" And in that context, it is incredibly encouraging to hear a candidate say that they once had to do a thing in Python but they didn't know Python so they Googled and perused Stack Overflow until they could do the thing. You are very likely to have a question at the interview that's something like "Describe a time you had to learn something quickly" or "What's your approach when you don't know how to do something?", and as an autodidact, you will have lots of examples for those moments.

3) There are lots of places that don't have anything at all. A person who knows how to put conditional formatting on a column in Excel would be an improvement on what some smaller companies are currently doing. If you can make a graph and code a vlookup() function, then you're an Expert!

4) the field is so new, and is changing so fast, we're still working out the distinctions between the assorted sub-fields. Which means you can start as someone who does data visualization, pivot to data science, change your mind and end up in data engineering, and then decide to do database administration instead.

So yeah. My recommendation is to search job boards for things that look like they might be what you want to do, and write down what the minimum qualifications are for each one. If you already meet 70% of the requirements, start applying! If not, make a li'l histogram of requirements they want and you don't have, and start finding ways to get them.

I, for instance, downloaded an SQL syllabus from some university class that had it publicly posted, and learned SQL by just doing the assignments on my own time when things were slow at the retail job I had. I got an office job on the strength of that, buuuuut my first assignment wasn't really doable in SQL, so I did the work in Python (a language that, up until that point, I had made 0 programs in, but I had watched while someone else made a program in it), and then bodged it into Excel for visualization. That made me look enough like a developer that the data science team was willing to talk to me, and so I got to sit in on the Alteryx intro seminar when they did, and then (since Alteryx was brand new and didn't really have any documentation or communities at that point) taught myself how to use it by trial-and-error. That got me enough experience that I subsequently got offered a job paying twice as much, working with BASH, hql, scala, and Jenkins (a list of coding options that -- you'll notice -- I had not yet had any experience in).

Basically, as a rule, hiring managers have no idea what all is going on behind the scenes, nor do they care, as long as they get the intended outcome. So my approach for interviews is to approach it as communication/translation problem for the first half: what exactly are they hoping the person in this position will be doing? "So, for example, {possible project based on my understanding of how they described the job}, would that be the type of thing?" Repeat until you're pretty sure you know what they're looking for. If you can do that thing, then you're justified in saying "I can do that", and you probably have evidence to back it up. So the second half of the interview is using their questions as an opportunity to lay out your evidence. Bonus: asking questions in the interview makes you look both smarter and more engaged!

If you get a technical interview/whiteboarding interview, don't panic! They're looking more at how you approach the problem than they're looking at your actual ability to write solid code / know the exact names for everything (my last interview I had to ask "What's that?" after, like, 3/4 of the questions. Then the interviewer would start describing it, and I'd be like "OH yeah, so then ....". I got the job.) So if you don't know what to do, start writing out outlines, mind-maps, lists ... whatever would help you figure out how to get started. Write down the facts of the situation, and implications of those facts; write down questions you have, and how to get them answered. This is a situation where partial credit is very VERY much a possibility, so get as many possible partial-credit sources on the whiteboard as possible.

So yeah. Coursera, Khan Academy, etc, all great. You can also just find some school that doesn't password-protect their class materials, and if you can mess around enough to solve the problems on the homework assignments, then you know (at least) as much as anyone who's officially taken that class. Alteryx and Tableau offer free online training with a web-portal sample of their software. You could also check for volunteer opportunities: I'm organizing permit applications for Sierra Club, and I bet there's a non-profit near you that would be equally delighted (read: fucking overjoyed) to let you take over all graph/numbers/spreadsheets for their projects. Then you get them to write you a letter of recommendation, and put the reporting work on your resume, and you've got "real world experience" while you're saving the world.

I wish you the best, and feel free to ask more questions as you go farther along your journey! I definitely recommend the data-work life; it's been my favorite career so far.

#databases #data analysis #data visualization #how to adult #how to life #interview tips #resume tips #fooling capitalism #actually solicited advice #long post #from the ask box

[mishkakagehishka]

Do you have any tips for someone that is trying to learn a new language? (especifically Japanese)

Consume media!!!! Imo this goes well for any language, I personally find it impossible to pick up a language if I can't "surround myself" with it. It's best to read (books especially), but watching television is good for pronounciation and songs are great if you want to remember vocabulary and phrases as catchy songs will stick, and if you remember the translation you can go "Oh, yeah, that word/phrase is like that, I remember it from this song". It's the second best thing you can do short of spending time in the country where the language is spoken imo. I mostly watch tv programmes or vlogs, and play videogames both dubbed and subbed in my target language. Videogames are actually a great thing to focus on because they require you to know what's going on and being asked of you to progress - it's also how I learnt a bunch of English. Definitely check if you can play The Sims in your target language, I literally owe it most of what I now know in English, due to the genre it really offers a wide vocabulary.

Now, I don't know how qualified I am to give tips for learning languages, or for learning Japanese specifically, but here's basically how I went: first learn hiragana and katakana, then focus on grammar. I used the Genki textbooks, but when I need a refresher for certain grammatical rules I'll often google it and there are a lot of neat websites/blogs that offer grammar lessons. JLPT sensei sticks out to me as one I most often go to. Once you got most of the grammar down, you can start reading with a dictionary on hand - whether books or visual novels or manga. Jisho.org is a great online dictionary, and if you don't know how a kanji is read, you can "write" it in the search bar. There's a bonus point for manga, anyway, most I read in "raw" form also have the reading for kanji written in hiragana on the side, so it's a lot easier to look them up. I'd definitely suggest a dictionary that can let you input kanji by radicals or by handwriting, though I prefer handwriting simply because I get annoyed trying to find radicals in the charts lol. But learn radicals! It makes it a lot easier to memorise kanji if you can learn it not as one big piece, but a puzzle made of three smaller pieces (or however many radicals it's formed of). You can also learn kanji through flashcards - there are websites and blogs that teach you kanji through years/levels, at a specific order. Though, for me, I felt it more natural to learn them through media. It's a flawed system, but that's how I find it easier to remember and, besides, I'll sooner remember the more often used ones that way. Familiarise yourself with websites like hinative, too, though just googling "[phrase] meaning" (or "[phrase] 意味" if you don't mind the explanation in Japanese) will often give you links to blogs and forums with good answers, because sometimes even if you got the vocab and grammar down, you'll come across phrases that you simply won't be familiar with purely because you're not a native speaker. Stuff like idioms, and phrasal verbs (?)

Personally, I left kanji for last and that's why I'm illiterate lmao but basically, I feel like if you're not in a hurry (as in, if you're not gonna move to Japan any time soon or need to write some formal letters), you can learn them while strengthening your vocabulary after you learn enough grammar to be able to consume media mostly effortlessly, by which I mean, you'd only have to look up words you don't know - but when you do you can read the sentence again and know what's going on because you already know enough grammar that the only unknown in the equation is the meaning of a word, not the whole sentence. How do I explain it - if you see 食べなくちゃいけません you'll know the sentence is saying something must be done because of the verb's grammatical form - the only unknown would then be what 食べ(る) means. Though if you're gonna take my advice of consuming media, make sure you consume it consciously. If it's voiced, listen to what is being said and try to repeat the words you're unfamiliar with while looking them up. If there are translations online, read both the translations and listen/read the original text. Don't just consume it - make sure to make an effort to understand and to remember the new words and phrases you come across.

And also don't just look up a kanji's meaning, make sure to look up its readings in kun'yomi and on'yomi as that'll help you down the line.

Also a good youtube channel to use for vocab and culture is Comprehensible Japanese!! But asides from that, I can't remember if there's anything else that needs to be said. I would really suggest classes and/or textbooks at first, before the media, though, as I feel like media should help you enrich your vocabulary, while textbooks should teach you the core of the language. But, either way, good luck in your learning!!🤝

#idk if i explained this well i feel like i'm missing smth but #yeah? hiragana and katakana then grammar (+ you'll learn vocab while learning grammar ofc) and then kanji + enriching your vocab thru kanji #like idk if you dk how to say smth looks well on somebody you'll learn it when you see 似合う in a text #and then you'll know - oh that's read as niau and means to look well okay #there you go boom two kanji and a new word. #but yea grammar is essential imo #asks

[couchpotatoaniki]

One Year ❣︎ Two: Plotting and Planning

Chapter Summary: You finally arrive at Jeju Island, but there’s trouble in paradise between you and Dominic.

Pairing: Mafia!San x Fem!Reader Genre: Mafia AU, fluff, angst, eventual smut, lotta crack and stupid shit ngl Chapter warnings: swearing, stalking, cheating Word count: 2.7k+ A 365 Days parody

Previous: Chapter One For the rest of the series, click here

Speech in bold means they’re talking in Korean

Speech in italics is whatever the reader wants their native langue to be that’s not Korean or English

Speech without either means they’re talking in English

You wanted to punch him square in the face.

Dominic was pushing your buttons beyond what you could handle, and you had no idea what had gotten into him.  Never this bad when it came to his attention. Never did he make you feel this annoyed.

Jeju was a nice place--just as beautiful as you had imagined--but the flight was fairly long so none of you went sight seeing the day you landed. Skipped off to the hotel room for some much needed rest, you most of all.

Though you had a weird sense, chills running up your spine occasionally and funny feelings at the back of your head, you tried to shove it aside. Work was not meant to make it’s way while you were all on your holiday.

Not to mention, your boyfriend was talking once again to his colleagues and friends, not paying mind to you as you hauled the rest of the luggage around the large airport and hotel.

You were tired. You felt not normal. He was being a dick.

So it all had started off on the wrong foot. Still time left to change it around, right?

Then Dominic decided it would be great to take up most of the hotel bed--probably because it was so comfy, whereas he only had half of the bed back at home.

Eventually, you were too tired to put up with this behaviour so you got up and walked to Seonghwa’s and Yeosang’s room.

“The fuck, why are you here?” Yeosang mumbled, half-asleep himself.

Caught the rapid pitter-patters of water running in the background, which must’ve been Seonghwa. “How long’s he been in the shower?” You asked since he generally takes quite a long time.

“Just got in,” he answered, moving aside as you pushed through the doorway with a lazy glare resting on your face.

“Good. Stealin’ his bed,” was all you said before flopping onto the nearest double bed--still as comfortable as the king sized you were supposed to share--and knocking out right there on the spot.

Yeosang ruffled his silvery-grey hair, sighing. “His bed was the other one...”

The next day was a little more manageable.

The sleep definitely helped your patience level, though Seonghwa was a little annoyed that he had to share the night with Yeosang.

Granted, when you explained everything in the morning over some food from the breakfast buffet, he understood.

You were like a little sister to him. Sure, he took you under his wing a little less than five years ago, taught you his trade, polished you up to be the best of the best, he still grew fond of you.

An older brother you never had, and acting as such, he was highly sceptical when you brought a boy to the dinner table. Dominic, you had introduced.

Never liked him since. Sucked it up only for you, but his patience too was tested often by comments that were made and outlandish behaviour that was presented. No, Seonghwa didn’t like him one bit.

“Well,” he began, taking a bite of a golden, buttered croissant, “if you start feeling uncomfortable again, just pop over to our room and I’ll kick Yeosang out.”

You chuckled at the thought. “He’ll rip him to shreds.”

“Who? Yeosang or Dom?” Threw a pointed look in his direction, as if to ask him if he actually did just say that. “Okay, okay,” Seonghwa laughed as he almost spat out his orange juice, “I knew you meant Yeosang.”

“Happy birthday, dipshit!” Mingi’s voice boomed from behind, as the rest began to join the two of you. His long arms wrapped around your shoulders as he squeezed you in a bone-crushing hug.

“Happy birthday to you too, douchebag,” you squeaked out. The other boys had settled down, wishing you both a happy birthday--Dominic giving you a little kiss too.

Tried to hold back the smirk fighting its way onto your lips as you saw Seonghwa openly grimacing in your peripheral. “Where were you last night, babe?”

You never particularly liked it, that nickname. ‘Babe’...

“You’re asking that now?” Playfully teasing, though there was a slight hint of venom. None of which he picked up on. “I was with Seonghwa and Yeosang.”

“Really?” Dominic’s brow lifted, the judgement of you spending a night in two other men’s room clearly written in his expression.

“Yes, really,” you replied, less playful since he should have known by now that all of you were strictly friends. Neither passion nor romance was held for either the black-haired clean-freak and the grumpy introvert.

Has never been since you were all like family.

“Okay then,” he sighed, sitting beside you with his plate of a heavy breakfast.

The boys stayed quiet throughout the exchange, noticing everything going on but not saying a word. Knew that you could handle it better on your own.

San, on the other hand, was fuming. Although he was not close enough to hear a word any of you said--not that it would matter since he couldn’t understand it anyway--the boy could see the feelings of annoyance brew in your mind.

Hongjoong had his hand on his friend’s shoulder, preventing him from walking up and doing something he would regret. “Look, you don’t know what’s being said, so just give it a rest and enjoy your toast.”

“Joong, I can’t enjoy my toast, especially if he’s said something that makes her upset. I’ll floor the fucker, I swear--”

“San,” the blur-haired boy warned in a low tone, “eat your toast.”

One of his strengths would be that San knew when to back off. Sure, it came to a much bigger challenge when you were involved, apparently, but he still had listened to his second-in-command. “Fine. I’ll eat it, but I won’t like it.”

Hongjoong had not said another word to him, still pissed off about what his boss had pulled last night. Flying over had drained energy out of him, no matter how many times he did it, so all he wanted to do was to go to the villa, greet Jongho and Wooyoung, and then go to sleep.

That was it.

But no. San decided he had to chase you to this hotel. This hotel which was less luxurious than the villa and the food was sub-par at best. Not to mention he kept pacing about the room that was supposed to be opposite yours and your boyfriend’s, worried how you left the room and went into a different one.

Hongjoong had to stop him from bugging the rooms or even go pounding the door so hard it knocked down.

Seeing his boss and friend like this had him beyond concerned, since this was the first time it’s ever gotten to this degree.

In fact, he was so concerned, he had to update the two other boys about it--without San’s knowledge.

Wooyoung had told him to bring San to the villa as soon as possible--by tomorrow night, no matter what--but the man in question appeared to have other plans.

Throughout the day, San became more calculated in his movements (particularly when it seemed that you were on alert of some strange presence by the side glances you gave in their general direction). “We're going back to the villa tomorrow night.”

To hear that was a bit of a shock, especially when he had planned for the same thing. “What are you gonna do?”

“Sweep her off her feet, of course,” San smirked, devious little cogs in his head turning.

Ruffling his hair as he looked over at you and your friends--sat down in the tent lounge for your celebratory dinner--Hongjoong shuddered slightly at the ominous tone.

Clinking of a fork against glass, Dominic grabbed the attention of everyone, including the bystanders around him. Clearing his throat, he pulled out a piece of of paper with words scribbled on.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” he began, surprisingly in Korean rather than the language you all communicated in--though it wasn’t perfect, he was still trying. San was glad, now able to understand what was being said.

“Today is a special day, because it is the birthday of two very special people. One of which is my lovely girlfriend. So I would like to embarrass her by preparing this speech, to let everyone know this wonderful woman is mine.”

The mafia boss didn’t like that. He didn’t like that one bit.

“I’m so glad you were born, because life wouldn’t have been as fun without you, and you’re certainly very special in not only my heart, but the rest of the boys as well.”

It wasn’t only San who was unhappy about this speech. This wasn’t just your birthday, it was Mingi’s as well, yet he was written off. So, before Dominic could conclude his speech, you stood up, interjecting him.

“Thank you, for that nice speech. But I also want to congratulate my childhood friend, for it’s his birthday today too.” You lifted your glass to cheer the giant. “If it weren’t for you, God knows where I would be, if I would even be alive. You’ve saved my ass more times than I can count and for that, I’ll forever be eternally grateful.”

Hearing you speak such good Korean had--for some bizarre reason--made San’s heart skip a beat of two. Even as your accent shone, the pronunciation was close to flawless.

Yet Dominic was not feeling so proud. Yes, it was Mingi’s birthday too, but that speech was for you. Interrupting him was almost as if you were putting Mingi before him. Before your boyfriend.

As the chocolate cake topped with sparklers was brought out by the staff and people around you started to sing ‘happy birthday’ in Korean (your friends being the loudest), you couldn’t shake off the feeling that you were being watched again. But what was worse, you couldn’t shake the feeling that Dominic was going to do something dumb tonight.

“Excuse me,” you said as you stood up in the middle of dinner, when everything went back to normal.

“And where are you going, little missy?” Yunho asked as he moved his long legs to let you get past.

“Bathroom,” was all you said as you went by, needing to freshen up after feeling so... odd. Confined under the eyes of people you didn’t know.

The night had brought itself a particularly cold wind, rushing past your black chiffon dress. “Crap,” you cursed, “should’ve brought a thicker coat.”

Each turn you made, you became increasingly confused as to where you were. This place was like a damn maze. “Should’ve probably asked for directions too.”

“Are you lost, babygirl?” a deep voice asked you in English, cocky tone evident in the way the words rolled off his tongue. You turned to see the man who had just dared to call you that, ready to thump him in the face with a nearby plant pot, but when you saw his face, a sense of familiarity washed over you.

This was the guy. He's eyes were following you since you came off the plane--you could feel it in your bones.

“No thanks, you replied back in English, “I’m perfectly fine.”

And you turned around, not capturing the devilish smirk growing across San’s face as he watched you powerfully walk off in some random direction, not knowing if it was towards the bathroom.

But he didn’t need to know that, did he?

“Where’s Dom?” Mingi pondered as he looked around, realising it was oddly peaceful in the area.

“Not a clue,” you shrugged, “he’s been gone all night. Disappeared after dinner.”

While Yeosang, Yunho, and Seonghwa went swimming in the hotel pool, hearing their yells of ‘Marco!’ and ‘Polo!’, you and your childhood friend opted for sunbathing on colourful lounge chairs.

“Since when the fuck do you not have a clue? Plus, we all saw how that dickhead was eyefucking that random hoe at the dinner.”

“I really don’t wanna think about it. After all, it’s our birthday and I don’t wanna ruin the mood by thinking of the things he’s probably doing.”

Propping himself on his elbows, he took off his sunglasses to look at you. “Bastard’s cheating on you and you’re not gonna do anything?”

“Oh no, I’m definitely going to bring pain upon his ass like never before, but right now is not the time. Besides, it’s not as if we ever loved each other. And I finally got a good night’s sleep.” You placed your hand over his in a reassuring way, but it did nothing much.

Your response had Mingi biting his bottom lip, worried. “Hearing you talk like that scares me sometimes, ya know?”

“After everything I went through, you still think I’m going to be who I was?” You opened your eyes, peering over at him with eyes so cold that there was only one situation he would see them. “Do you still fucking think with all the shit that the five of us do, I’d still be a person who believes in mercy or love?”

Sighing, he lay back down with his sunglasses covering his eyes once more. “You’re right, it’s dampening the mood. What are you planning to do between now and dinner? Any particular place you wanna visit?”

Contemplating, you hummed as you thought of what to do next. “Maybe visit the stone park? Looked beautiful enough in the pictures,” you sighed, “What do you think? Your birthday too, ya know?”

The tall man shot a boyish grin your way. “Sounds great--”

“Hey!” The two of you turned your head to look at Dominic, who had trudged towards you in flip-flops. When he bent down to peck your cheek, you made no move whatsoever, internally cringing at the feel of his dirtied lips against your skin.

“And where were you?” you inquired, clearly not pleased with this. He hadn’t even bothered to hide the lingering scent of fruity perfume of the random woman he spent the night with.

Though there was something very much off about him since this isn’t something he would do, you will never excuse his disloyal behaviour.

“Oh, I went to Hallim Park. You seemed busy with the rest of the boys so I decided to leave you in peace.”

You took your glasses off, pretending to be pissed off about him going to a place he didn’t actually visit when it was actually about the secret he was trying to hide from you. “Are you shitting me right now? You promised we’d go there together.”

“I know, but I just needed to clear my head for a bit.” He nervously rubbed the back of his neck, no longer looking you in the eye.

“For the entire night?”

“Yes, for the entire night,” he snapped, instantly irking you even more because how fucking dare he?

Sighing, you got out of the lounge chair you were in, licking you lips to calm you down just a fraction before you stab him in the eye. “You know what?”

Each step you took towards him, he took backwards until he was right at the edge of the pool.

You brought you lips right next to his ear, the faint scent of pineapple lingering on your tongue, spotting the hickey hidden under his neck. You whispered, “fuck you,” before pushing him with ease into the pool to create a massive splash.

With steam coming out of your ears, you stormed away back into the hotel as Mingi lay there, laughing.

“That’s my girl,” San chuckled as he watched the scene unfold. He could tell from the feeling of the argument that you were unhappy about your boyfriend not being home that night.

In fact, when the mafia boss first noticed the way Dominic couldn’t peel his eyes away from one of the other women in the lounge last night, he decided to keep tabs on his movements--and thank god he did, otherwise he wouldn’t have found the great evidence that could pull you two apart and thrust you into his arms.

Hongjoong however, was actually somewhat terrified. “That man was twice the size of her.”

“I know. Feisty little lady.”

The blue-haired man looked at him with so much disgust, watching how he was so enamoured by you and a little turned on. No matter how open San was about what he liked in ‘bedroom matters’ both verbally and (unfortunately) physically, he still couldn’t help how grossed out he was.

“Jesus, keep it in your pants,” he grunted.

“Chin up, Joong,” San sighed, strangely gleeful, “we won’t have to stalk around much longer.”

“No?”

“No,” he smiled, “because she’s back with us to the villa. Tonight.”

☕︎ Tag list: @little-precious-baby​ , @sparklychangbin​ ,

#ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez mafia au #mafia au #mafia!san #choi san #san x reader #fluff #angst #crack #hongjoong #kim hongjoong #seonghwa #park seonghwa #yunho #jeong yunho #yeosang #kang yeosang #mingi #song mingi #wooyoung #jung wooyoung #jongho #choi jongho #One Year #One Year series

[alwaysabeautifullife]

How did you learn so many languages. Do you have any tips?

Yes!!!! Yes I do!!!

Everything I wish I could tell myself before starting my language “journey” lol:

🦩Dont be intimidated

Don’t be intimidated, specifically by doing listening or speaking practice. I know in the US (or for most English speakers), when we hear someone that speaks perfect English but merely has an accent we think “they don’t speak English”, but from experience this mentality is not shared with other languages. When you know even a little bit of a language or can’t speak it very well, natives speakers are really really encouraging. I think since we view not being 100% fluent without so much as an accent, as “not knowing any of a language” we are hard on ourselves and give up pretty easily.

🦩Listening practice is as important as studying vocabulary and grammar

When you listen to native speakers talk, you are training your ear even though you don’t understand it. Listen and listen, eventually your brain stops picking out English words that aren’t even there, but rather, starts to catch patterns in the language (for example, the same words sticks out to you over and over).

🦩Set realistic and doable goals or you’ll get discouraged and quit

If you are a busy person, make small goals to fit language study in. Don’t tell yourself that you need to master _____ within a week. Instead give yourself 15 mins of reading in the evening, and 25 mins of language listening in the morning. It’s also easier to add the language into stuff you do on a daily basis anyway. For example if you are religious, find your prayers you pray daily in the language you are learning.

🦩learn to read the language first (obviously this tip might not be applicable for character based languages like Chinese)

I know everyone says “immersion is the best and most important part of language” but honestly, a lot of our native speaking knowledge comes from our literacy education. When we are taught how to read, it’s through reading we can discover new words through context. It’s also easy to pick up new language reading since it’s available anywhere, where immersion is only available when you are surrounded by native speakers. The first thing I do is learn how to read and write the language, then the entire language becomes accessible to me.

🦩Spend time perfecting the sounds of the language that are most difficult for you

The vocal sounds of a language is the foundation of a language. I know we are all impatient and want to simply learn as many phrases as possible as fast as possible, but if you get down the unfamiliar sounds of a language that don’t exist in English, you’ll have a better foundation of the language and your speaking and listening will be better from the very beginning. So take the time to practice those weird sounds by looking into the position of the tongue and where the sound comes from, from the chest to the lips. Look into how tense the mouth is, how much air comes from the lips, what the sound is like next to other sounds. When you master this speaking becomes more instinctual and it’s easier to pick up the language.

🦩Search YouTube, google, Instagram IN THE LANGUAGE YOU ARE STUDYING.

Don’t search “korean music” or “korean kids tv” or even “korean vegetables” in google. Just translate how to say them in a translator app, then copy and paste them into the search bar. This way native korean information, videos, posts will come up. For example, if you’re in the mood for some horror comics, and want to read/watch them in the language you are learning, go to the translator app, and figure out how to say them, then search it. It works way better, even if the translation isn’t correct or more natural, you’ll still get the information, posts, and videos you want to see.

🦩Find ways to practice speaking the language (I use HiNative) and don’t be discouraged by corrections.

Getting corrected does not mean you’re wrong, corrections are the most useful part of learning a language. If you are the type of person who is sensitive to criticism, you need to remind yourself corrections are NOT criticism. They are NOT a reflection of your progress, they are NOT you failing! You will always be corrected as a language learner and the sooner you are gentle with yourself in learning the sooner you will learn more. Get those first corrections out of the way, allow yourself to butcher pronunciation, get corrected for the first 10 times, let it sting a little and move on. Eventually you will be begging native speakers to tell you every little detail in where you went wrong!

🦩Tv and Books seems to be more useful for immersion and listening practice then music does

So far in my experience music is its very weird and abstract, and the things said in music aren’t really useful in speaking? It’s good for gathering vocab, but if you want music listening practice that’s music based try searching for rap in that language, although obviously you’ll be picking up a lot of informal language in music/rap. Tv shows however are typically how people really do talk, so turn off English subs and just listen! Books are really useful for learning new vocabulary, but sometimes written language is different than spoken (often), although when you speak it the way you’ve learned from a book the worst you’ll sound is “formal and poetic”.

🦩Look up “insert language you are learning phrases and words that aren’t useful or correct”

There so many programs and books that teach you phrases you’ll never use or that are only appropriate in very specific situations. I don’t know why language programs do this, but learning which ones are weird or only in specific settings before you start learning really helps. Chinese Especially does this...like I learned so many phrases and words that natives will never use and have no purpose???

🦩Know the different subjects of learning a language and which apps to use for that

Everyone uses Duolingo, but this app alone won’t make you speak a language. Duolingo and Memrise are great for memorizing vocab, but, is it vocab that in the context of your reading and listening practice? Are you learning words you are hearing and reading all the time? Duolingo is a lot of fun but I feel like the vocab is so broad and it doesn’t go deep enough into the language. Feel free to use it at first to get used to the sounds of the language, but try using flash card apps like quizlet or Anki instead where you can write down and study words you are hearing constantly. Memrise does have actually study sets for many language books and lessons! So you can study words you are hearing in specific programs and books which is pretty useful in regards to vocab.

There obviously is more than just learning vocab. What about grammar, listening practice, speaking practice and reading? If you are wanting to use primarily apps find out which apps are available for your language. Here is an example of the apps I use for each subject. Be aware some languages are not available on them.

Vocab: quizlet, anki

Grammar: books (printed or kindle), YouTube grammar lessons, websites

Reading: books (printed or kindle), beelinguapp, instagram (posts that have text), Netflix/YouTube with both subtitles in the language you are learning and spoken in language you are learning, epic app

Writing: just use paper and pencil/pen

Listening: audio books (beelinguapp/epic/kindle/YouTube), tv and movies (Netflix/YouTube etc with no English subs), conversations on YouTube (search in language you are studying, don’t search “Spanish conversations” or “Japanese conversations”)

Speaking: HiNative (pretty much all I use since it’s all languages, quick, and you get immediately answered and corrected by native speakers), get friends in language you are learning through lots of apps

Translator: it’s really hard to find a good one, most of them are really weird so only use them for words and the most basic or simple phrases and sentences, otherwise use HiNative to ask native speakers directly, or ask people on the apps that connect you to native speakers

🌱I should note that for talking to native speakers I only like HiNative, since it’s built to NOT be a form of social networking at all. It’s not personal in anyway, and there’s no way to private message or speak to other users outside a asking questions publicly. The people on there are only about learning or teaching a language, not usually making friends. I’ve found the sites that are built to make native speaking friends aren’t useful to me personally, as most of the native speakers are either dudes looking for a woman to date or people wanting to only practice English with you, so they wasted a lot of my study time. People who are willing to help you learn are there, but it takes time to filter everything else out. If you would find it helpful to make friends by all means use them but I don’t really use it myself.🌱

You don’t want to really study EVERY SUBJECT every single day (unless you have the time). It can get really overwhelming, and you don’t really absorb information that if you are just cramming. While I would say it’s good to read and listen daily, spread subjects out over the week. Grammar on Monday and Friday, vocab on Tuesday and Thursday. Take one day to review all of what you’ve learned all week. Pick a day you have the largest block of free time. Bi-weekly works fine too.

I have an old post on how I organize my study time for multiple languages: https://alwaysabeautifullife.tumblr.com/post/182817883372/what-do-you-use-to-learn-your-languages-im

🦩Write sentences daily of everything you’ve learned (no THIS I RECOMMEND DAILY)

Write as many as you can. Use all the grammar you’ve learned, the words you’ve learned, everything! Write them in your notes and submit them to be corrected in HiNative. The sentences they correct, put them in flash cards!

🦩It’s ok to abandon languages you aren’t passionate in

So you’ve learned to read the language, and you know basic phrases, and now you just don’t want to do it anymore. If you can’t think of any reason to maintain it and don’t know why you are studying it, learning some of the language is good! Fluency does NOT need to be everyone’s goal. You can hold a conversation, and that’s good enough for you. Feel free to try out various languages, there will be one or some that really are your passion, it’s fine to have the goal of fluency in those and conversational in others.

Don’t abandon languages however because you feel discouraged. Discouragement is just a bump to get over, when you train your brain to maintain study habits through the days you feel discouraged, you make it habitual. Habits are harder to break and abandon! Evaluate your reasonings for wanting to speak a language, and your reasons for abandoning them if you want. Don’t let difficulty, disorganized, discouragement, or poor time management get in your way!!

🦩With all that said it’s ok to take breaks

It’s ok to get overwhelmed and take breaks from language learning. If you can still maintain what you’ve learned by listening to music in your language or staying connected in some way that’s good, but the “you’ll loose a language” isn’t entirely true. I’ve taken year long breaks and refreshing what I learned previously is pretty easy! Your brain really does go “oh yeah I do remember this!” when you’re studying information you studied years ago.

🦩Be gentle with yourself

Be gentle with yourself. People that claim to be fluent in 6 months are selling something or want to be an influencer. Don’t compare yourself to them. Language learning even for natives is a lifetime education. It’s not something you do for 6 months then stop. It’s continual and that looks different for everyone (yes native speakers included). Don’t bother watching YouTube videos on how to learn in 10 mins or 3 months, you’ll only get discouraged about your own amazing progress and all the work you’ve done.

🦩Plan your “can you say something in it” phrase now

This one is just for fun but after hearing you are learning a language the first thing you’ll get asked is “oh cool you speak (insert target language here)? Can you say something in (insert target language here)?” It does not matter what level of fluency you are at, you will absolutely forget the entire language and your own native language when you are asked this because it sends your brain to another dimension. So think of some funny phrases to say to people who ask, master them, then when they ask what they mean you can have a laugh. Other wise you will say something stupid of jumbled words (my go to was ‘we women are fruit’ for some reason thanks brain you’re incredible) you’ve learned that don’t belong in a sentence, or even worse you’ll run a blank and you’ll just look at them like:

🍳👄🍳

So think of inside jokes to tell your friends, funny phrases, even goofy insults! Memorize them and tell them at your friends and family to torture them because they can’t escape sound waves! It’s a good way to memorize the language but also to become confortable speaking it!

Please excuse any errors I don’t wanna go over my mistakes so pretend u can’t see them 🙈

#langblr #learning languages #korean #spanish #italian #portuguese #lang resources #lang apps #lang

[mypoisonedvine]

Hey! As a German, I just felt compelled to reach out! First of all, in regards to the commas, I can't figure them out for the life of me either, (and I'm a native speaker who actually just finished her bachelor's degree in the study of that language, so there's that ...) What I mean to say is: Please don't feel bad about struggling with those little shits!

Also, to that Person who thinks about moving to Germany and is struggling with the language. I thought I may add some additional resources (underneath the cut, because this got quite lengthy.)

App-wise apart from Duolingo, there's another App I personally quite enjoy called Babbel (I use it to learn Swedish, but I'm sure the German version is alright too.) The only downside is, that it is quite pricy. However, there are often some coupon codes you can hunt down and those will get a you a couple of month for free.

Now, because they said that they don't really like apps, there are some other free online resources that I could think of.

Die Deutsche Welle (a well know German news broadcaster) has a some free online courses, which you can find here: https://learngerman.dw.com/en/overview

There's also an institute, called Goethe Institut, with a lot of resources about both living in Germany and learning German.

The free German lessons and courses are linked here (but you need to sign up to access them): https://www.goethe.de/prj/dfd/en/home.cfm

And some of their resources about moving and living in Germany are linked here: https://www.goethe.de/prj/mwd/en/index.html

(I really hope those links work!)

Now, apart from the things you've already mentioned, there is one more thing I would like to add, which is: Movies (and Series). In Germany it is actually quite common that most international movies and series get a dub, rather than just subtitles (meaning that you can actually watch most English movies in the German language, because they get a professional German voice over). I obviously don't think you can learn German just from that, but you do get a bit more of a feeling for the language and it's intonation. You can also watch some German series or movies, but I'm not sure how accessible those are, apart from maybe some popular ones, like Dark or Babylon Berlin.

Lastly, to that anon, if you need any help in learning German, or have any other questions in regards to that language or moving here, feel free to reach out! I am more than happy to help if I can.

oh my gosh thank you so so much for all this amazing information!! I'm glad you agree the commas are sorta crazy lol I don't feel quite as dumb for not getting them anymore!

I've heard good things about babbel, I also would recommend beelinguapp which allows you to read news articles in both your native language and the language you're learning! I also agree about watching movies/series in german, for me I like to start with productions in english that I know well, and put on a german dub AND subtitles so I can hear and see the german but I know what they're saying because I'm familiar with the content. (I did this with tfatws for example, and daniel's performance in german is excellent but the german voice for sam is even more iconic tbh he killed it.) then I can try to turn off subs after a while and just follow with voice, then maybe someday I'll be able to actually transition to productions made in german and watch them without subtitles, but I've had mixed success with that. (I watched one of daniel's movies with the original german audio but the subs in spanish, that was sort of a brain overload but it mostly worked lol)

this is great information you're a lifesaver omg thank you!!

[slytherinbarnes]

Sub Rosa [93]

ix. the flock 

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader

Word Count: 12.8k

Warnings: mentions of blood, injuries, anxiety, needles, mentions of death, language.

Summary: with your release from m-cap, you join the others to begin training as a disciple.

a/n: this chapter has a few of my favorite scenes that I’ve written, and I’m excited to hear what you guys think about it! it’s a long one, so get your snacks and get comfy! the taglist for this series is open! I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!!!

previous chapter // season masterlist // series masterlist

Day 1 of training, 78 days until Clarke’s arrival

As you stare at the four familiar faces across from you, you feel the cuffs around your wrists release. Before the disciples at your side can comprehend your movements, you take off in a run, towards your friends, a smile on your face. Octavia meets you halfway, the two of you colliding in a fierce hug, quiet laughter spilling from your lips. As Octavia grips you tight, she whispers, “We thought you were dead.”

You pull away and look at her, tears pricking your eyes. “I thought all of you were dead. Gabriel and I-”

“Gabriel?” You turn to look at Hope, her eyes wide. “You’ve seen Gabriel?”

“Yes, I’ve been with him since we were all separated.”

Hope and Octavia both smile, pleased to hear the news. Echo, who you get a better look at now that you're closer, seems less impressed. But your brain moves past that and to the scars on the side of her face, scabbed over with black blood, clearly a few days old at this point. Echo ignores the look on your face as you meet her eyes, and she pulls you into a hug instead. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

You nod a little, trying to shake off your shock as you pull away and smile at her. “Me too.”

Hope moves closer to you next, her eyes locked on the black blood dripping down your face. “Okay? What about the blood all over her face?”

She hugs you and then turns to glare at the door, where your previous captors are no longer standing. “What the hell did they do to you?”

“I panicked when they came for me. Me and Gabriel started fighting them off, but it didn't exactly go well.”

Diyoza’s motherly instincts kick in, and despite the lack of relationship that you share with the older woman, the two of you are bonded through your mutual love for Hope and Octavia. She reaches for you, tipping your chin to get a look at the cut on your face, the same way Gabriel did when you first got it. She mutters, “Looks like you broke a few stitches.”

“Figures.”

Her gaze lifts over your head to call out to someone on the other side of the room. “Any way we could get a first aid kit?”

“Of course.”

The familiar voice makes your brows pull together as you rack your brain and try to identify it. When you turn towards the source of the sound, they appear to your right, holding out a first aid kit, a small smile on their face. You look up and meet Levitt’s gaze, smiling back at him. “Oh my god, you’re okay. I got worried when I didn't see you in M-Cap.”

“First Disciple Anders thought I'd be better suited to train everyone. But now, with your arrival, I suspect he’ll be joining us.”

“Because of me?”

Levitt glances around the room, towards the other trainees, native Bardoans, who are all watching you closely, clearly talking about you. He glances back and lowers his voice so they can’t hear him. “I’ve heard he’s taken an interest in you, especially now that you won't let them into your head. Plus, you're a twin. We’ve never had any twins here, so I’m sure you’ll be pretty popular all around.”

“Oh great, so I have a target on my back.”

“Only until the Key arrives.” You give Levitt a look, both of you aware of the dangers of discussing Clarke, knowing what you both know. Octavia doesn't miss the look, her gaze bouncing between you both before she worriedly whispers, “What?”

Behind you, the door slides open, and the room grows quieter. You turn to see why, watching as Anders walks into the room. Levitt pushes the first aid kit into your hand before moving to greet him, and you glance at Octavia and mutter, “Tell you later.”

She nods, and Diyoza takes the first aid kit from you, quickly taking over the job of doctor as Anders addresses the room. “I know you’ve all been training for the last few days, but we have a new training partner joining us, Miss Griffin.”

Everyone turns their rapt attention away from him to look your way, before quickly turning back again when Anders continues, “I don't often lead the training, but with such a unique group in front of me, I couldn't resist the prospect of showing our new recruits the importance of our cause. Although half of you were not born in the cause, everyone has the ability within them to serve humanity. Give everything to the group. Trust in the process. Trust in each other.”

He looks over each of you, his eyes lingering on you the longest as Diyoza finishes up with your cut. You shiver, his gaze sending a chill down your spine, so much of his presence reminding you of Shumway. The thought makes your hands clammy. Finally, Anders lifts his hands a little and says, “For all mankind.”

The others in the room repeat after him, lifting their hands and echoing his words, and you feel another chill roll over you at the weird cult mentality of the Bardoans. It weirded you out when the people of Sanctum did it, it weirded you out when Orlando did it, and it weirds you out now. No one seems to notice your discomfort as Anders announces, “We'll start with some simple sparring, please choose a partner.”

You and Diyoza stand, wandering over with the others to choose someone to spar with, but Anders calls out to you. “Not you, Miss Griffin. I have something to show you.”

You look towards the others in alarm, but you all know there is nothing that any of you can do. So you step away from the partner you chose and move towards Anders with apprehension. He looks over the rest of the group, waiting patiently, and calls out, “You may begin.”

You hear four take downs nearly immediately, and you turn around to smile at your triumphant friends, all standing over their defeated partners. Levitt looks towards Anders, who directs, “Again. But slower.”

Everyone nods in compliance, and once the sparring begins again, Anders motions towards the door, urging you to walk ahead. You do, stepping aside as he opens the door and leads you down the hall, towards the elevator. You look at the back of his head, your eyes flitting down every open hallway you pass, wondering if you can make a run for it. Anders must sense your desire to escape, because without turning around, he remarks, “They’re already on high alert, Miss Griffin. The disciples are already expecting you to run. How about, for once, you stay and listen?”

He turns to look at you, waiting for your answer, and you stare back at him. You hate Bardo, you hate Anders, you hate what this place symbolizes to you. Death, torture, capture, prison. But you can't leave. Ignoring all of your failed attempts and what they did to Bellamy, you can't go anywhere without your friends, and you can't go anywhere now that Clarke is supposedly on her way. Which means, you might as well play along. Listen to what they have to say, saving information for later, biding your time until a successful escape is possible. So you nod at Anders, accepting whatever he’s offering.

He nods a little and continues on, back towards the elevator. When you reach the doors, he hits the button and they slide open, and as you step inside, you ask, “Where are we going?”

Anders presses another button, which opens a little door, a small camera sliding out of it. Answering you and directing the machine, he simply states, “Surface.”

The doors slide closed and a smaller door opens, revealing a pile of masks. Anders takes two, passing you one, and as the elevator starts to move, he turns to look at you. “Your friends only agreed to disciple training to get out of their cells, and you're only agreeing to it now to protect them. But that's because you're blind to what's really going on. I'm about to open your eyes to the truth of our cause, because I realize from the time we’ve spent in your head that taking things on faith is not in your nature. I'm going to show you what happens if we lose the Last War.”

You say nothing, you just stand as far from him as you can, riding the elevator to the top, curious to see what it’s like. As it reaches the last few feet, Anders turns to you again. “Mask on. The particulate matter in the air is lethal to humans. It'll literally calcify you from the inside.”

You nod and press your mask to your face, attaching it with the clasp behind your head. You can hear your breaths moving through the mask, your body taking in filtered air before pushing it out again. Despite the anxiety that sits with you constantly in Bardo, you are eerily calm in this moment, your breaths coming out in steady puffs. The elevator makes a small sound to let you know you’ve arrived, and the doors slide open to reveal a grim view outside.

You weren't sure what you were expecting to see on the surface, but it wasn't gray skies, accented by flashes of lightning, and it certainly wasn't the large crystal giants that dot the landscape, rock hard and unmoving. You stare at the scene in front of you in shock, remembering back to when all of you nearly came to the surface without masks in an attempt to escape, stopped only by Gabriel, who didn't want to take the risk. Something that everyone was annoyed about in the moment, but ultimately it saved your life. You whisper, “Gabriel saved us.”

But then your brain remembers that you were forcefully dragged from your shared room with Gabriel, leaving him behind bruised and bloodied. You turn to look at Anders, your voice a little harder than before. “Where is Gabriel? Is he okay?”

“Gabriel is no longer your concern.” You glare at him, and Anders must sense that he is losing you. Your anger is rising again, not fond of being told you can't see your friends, so he tries to redirect your attention back to the view outside. “If we lose the Last War, this will be all that is left of us.”

You glance at the scene again, before stepping away from the door, not wanting to fall for his bullshit again. “Not if I can help it.”

He smiles a little but says nothing. He just closes the doors to the elevator and takes you back down, pulling his mask off and holding out his hand for yours. You pass it to him and he stows them away again, both of you standing in silence until the elevator arrives at your new destination. Without waiting, Anders steps off the elevator and begins walking down the halls. You quickly scramble after him, turning to look at the closing elevator door to check what floor you’re on. Three. Level three is living quarters for level 1s through 7s. You turn to look at Anders as he walks down the hall, quietly reading numbers off to himself. He stops near the end of a long hallway, near the branch that takes you to other rows of rooms. He waits for you to stop beside him, before he motions towards a door. “Room 301.”

You look at the door and then to him, and he motions towards it again. “Open it. It’s yours.”

You look at him in disbelief, sure that you’d always be sharing a room with the others, or a prison cell, but never expecting to get one of your own. You reach out and put your hand on the sensor, and the door slides open, revealing a pretty large room. There's a bed pushed up against the wall, a small desk and dresser, and a second door that you can't see into from where you’re standing. You look at Anders again, distrusting, and he motions for you to go inside. “It’s your room, Miss Griffin. There are no tricks.”

You step inside, your feet carrying you into the center of the room, turning slowly to take it all in. It’s bigger than the one you shared with Bellamy, bigger than the one you shared with Clarke, bigger than the one you shared with Gabriel on Skyring. The room you had at Becca’s mansion is the only room you’ve ever had that is bigger than this, but you only stayed there for a few days, and it never belonged to you. This room is yours for what will be weeks, something that seems hard for you to understand. 

Anders steps into the room behind you, walking towards the second door, and he steps inside to turn on the light. Behind him you can see the makings of a bathroom, and you step towards it in awe. It has a large shower, a sink, a toilet, a mirror, and a cabinet full of soap. You feel overwhelmed, unused to rooms like this. Despite it only holding the necessities, it’s still the nicest room you've ever been able to call your own, and you look at Anders in shock. He’s smiling a little, like he’s enjoying exposing you to the modern luxuries of Bardo. And you realize instantly, that’s exactly it. He’s seen memories of you on the Ark, and the Dropship, and Arkadia. He’s seen memories of you sleeping outside, up in trees, in caves, in wet tents. He’s seen memories of you after days of being unable to bathe on the ground, your hair matted and tangled and caked with mud. He’s seen you covered in blood, sometimes your own, sometimes others, and you know what he must think of you. 

That you’re a savage.

A primitive, wild girl that has never known rules or order or the complexities of a modern society. And it’s ironic, because at one point, that’s how you and your people once saw the Grounders, until you too became just like them. Over time, it was easy to see that just because their culture was different than yours, it didn't make it less than. The same thing can be said for the people of Mount Weather or Sanctum. Just because they're different, it doesn’t mean any of you are more superior than the other. 

But Anders will never agree with that. This man, who has spent his entire life growing up in this cult like society, with constant access to food, water, medicine, resources, and safety, he will never understand. He will never understand fighting for your life or for your friends and families lives. He will never understand what it’s like to take a life, even when you don't want to. He will never understand the ugliness of war. He has spent his entire life training for a war that he will never be ready for. 

You shake your head a little, the beauty of the room wearing off a little. Because now you see that you’re standing inside the room of a stone castle, in front of a man who thinks he’s better than you, but who is so desperate for the memories of you and the people you love. You meet his gaze, and you can tell that he has picked up on the change in your attitude. Still, he motions to the room again and says, “Stay here and get some rest, you’ve had a long few days. Training for you will begin tomorrow, with the others, in the room you were in earlier.”

You nod and watch as he moves towards the door, intending to leave you behind, but he stops just before he exits, turning to look at you again. “Miss Griffin, you’ll soon understand the importance of our cause. What we do, we do for all mankind, to save us all. Trust the process.”

And then without another word, he turns and leaves, the door sliding shut behind him, leaving you alone for the first time in a long time. You stand frozen in the middle of the room, unsure of what to do, your mind racing with a million thoughts at once. Levitt says Anders has taken an interest in you. In what way? Should you be worried? Is he like Shumway? Or does he only care about you because of your connection to Clarke? And where the hell is Gabriel? Is he okay? Is he worried? And what’s up with Echo’s scars? Or the crystal giants? Or this Last War?

You shake your head, dislodging the tornado of thoughts, unable to process any of them right now. Instead, you step towards the bathroom again, moving to stand in front of the mirror. You can't remember the last time you got a look at yourself, but something about the moment reminds you of standing in front of a mirror in Mount Weather. Just like then, there is blood on your face, except instead of being the red blood of a guard, it’s your own black blood. And instead of Bellamy coming into the room to wrap his arms around you, he is dead and you are alone. 

You feel tears threaten to rise at the thought of your fiance, and in an attempt to distract yourself you pull open the cabinet to reveal the supplies left for you. You reach for a bar of soap and close the cabinet again, turning on the water to wash the blood from your face. You get your face damp and reach for the soap, lathering your hands, releasing the scent. It’s familiar, hitting you like a train, reminding you of that special bar of soap from your father, a moon etched into the top. This bar in your hand is decoration free, but it takes you back, sending you tumbling into your memories, and the emotion that has threatened to overtake you finally wins out. 

Bellamy’s death, failing to save your friends multiple times, missing Clarke, the stress of M-Cap, this unfamiliar place, all of it weighs on you and breaks you down. You drop to your knees, your face still wet, your tears mingling with the water, and you start to cry, thinking about everything you’ve been through recently, allowing yourself this moment of weakness. Wanlida watches on, allowing the display of emotion, aware that you need this release now to control yourself later. Because these moments of weakness must always be private after this. This stone castle and the people within its walls are dangerous, and you can't let them see any weakness in you. You have to play the part of a perfect soldier, despite wanting nothing more than to burn Bardo to the ground. 

And tomorrow, a perfect soldier is what you'll be.

But today, in this moment, you allow yourself to be human; broken, hurting, and lonely.

-

Day 3 of training, 75 days until Clarke’s arrival

You sit in a chair in a dimly lit hallway, your foot shaking with nerves as you stare at the door across from you.

One by one your friends have gone in, but none of them have come out again. You have no idea what’s going on, and the others were just as confused earlier, sitting around anxiously until Levitt steps out to call them in. You’re the last one standing, wondering why that is, wishing you could touch your necklace for strength or twirl your ring as a distraction. But both are together and clasped around your ankle, tucked into your sock and then your boot, afraid that it’s just another thing Bardo will want to take from you.

Finally, after what feels like days of anxious waiting, Levitt steps out into the hall. He doesn't have time to say your name because you're already on your feet and moving towards him as soon as you see the door start to open. You step inside the room, ready to see your friends, disappointed to find none of them. A door on the other side of the room gives you a good idea why. 

But strangely enough, stretched out in a chair in front of you, his eyes closed, is Anders.

His hands are clasped over his stomach, his expression calm, and you turn to look at Levitt. “What is this? What's going on?”

“I can't say anything until after the test. It could alter your results.”

You give him a confused look, but he ignores it and leads you over to a second empty chair. You slide into it, your heart rate picking up as your anxiety grows, and Levitt fidgets with a few things behind you before moving to your side. “Hold out your arm.”

You give him a skeptical look. “Why?”

“It'll be easier if you don't fight.”

You almost roll your eyes at him. “Levitt, you’ve been inside of my head. You’ve seen enough to know by now that I'm not one to go quietly.”

“That’s exactly what you said to Kane when Pike locked you up.”

Whatever witty response you had ready to go dies on your tongue at the mention of Kane. You didn't even realize you said the same thing now, but as Levitt mentions it, you know he’s right. You don't know why, but it makes you stick out your arm, offering it to the man. Maybe it’s because you know Kane would want you to. Maybe it’s your own morbid curiosity. 

Levitt pushes a needle connected to some tubing into the vein near the inside of your elbow, before flipping a switch and pushing a red liquid through the tubing towards you. You watch it come closer, getting more anxious with each passing second, until finally it reaches your arm. Within seconds, you can feel yourself getting drowsy, your lids suddenly heavy, pulling closed before you can even fight it.

When you wake up again, you’re in Shallow Valley. You’re in the house you picked out for you and Bellamy, and the sun is shining through the window over your head. It’s warm and nice, and for a second you start to lose yourself in the feeling, until you realize that something isn't right. Your eyes fly open and you look down, your gaze falling on your bound hands and feet. You're tied to the chair beneath you, restrained, and a gag is pulled tight through your mouth. And as you try to process what happened and how you got here, your brain searching for the memory, you hear muffled cries from the other room. You look up in alarm, screaming through your gag to whoever it is. They scream back, and you swear you hear a muffled cry of “la lune” mixed in with their cries. 

You look around, trying to find a way out, your eyes landing on your Grounder knife across the room. You scoot your chair across the room as gracefully as you can, turning when you reach the small table, reaching out as far as you can with your bound hands. You peer over your shoulder, grasping clumsily for the knife, nearly sighing with relief when your hand closes over it. You turn it around in your hands and saw at the ropes restraining you, cutting your hand in the process, but you don't care. You're too focused on escaping, sawing as fast as you can until your hands eventually break free. 

The ropes hit the ground and you move your hand to the front, frantically sawing through the rope around your feet. You're able to get it loose much faster, your feet dropping free, and you quickly stand and pull the gag from your mouth as you move into the next room. There, tied side by side in chairs, are Clarke and Bellamy. They’re both looking at you in alarm, their cries growing more frantic, and you don't understand why until you feel a blade at your throat. You freeze and a voice grunts, “Drop the knife.”

You do as you’re told, and the person kicks the knife away before hitting you in the back of the head so hard you see stars. You stumble forward, onto your hands and knees, fighting against the unconsciousness that threatens to take you, as two sets of boots walk past you and move to stand in front of your fiance and twin. You look up, your eyes falling on two familiar looking Eligius prisoners. Something about the moment feels wrong, off, but you can't place why. 

Each of the prisoners lifts a gun at their own prisoner, the two most important people in your life. Terrified, you yell, “What do you want?”

“To watch you suffer.”

Two guns cock, one after the next, and you look between Bellamy and Clarke in horror, both of them crying and calling out for you, while you sit frozen in fear, unsure what to do. As you struggle to decide, two shots ring out through the room. A scream tears through you as you look up in alarm, expecting to find Clarke and Bellamy dead, but they’re both okay, just looking behind you in surprise. Behind them, two dead bodies stretch across the floor, both prisoners killed by someone else. 

You spin around, your eyes locking on Anders, who stands with a gun in his hand, still smoking. He lowers it, and you stare at him with tears in your eyes. “Thank you.”

“I didn't do it for you, I did it for all mankind.” You hear movement behind you and you turn, Clarke and Bellamy both untied and standing, their clothes different than they were before. Are they different? Were they always in white? They are now in the same clothes as Anders, the long white gown common amongst the Bardoans. You look back at Anders with confusion. “What’s going on?”

“They’re one of us. They belong to the cause.”

You shake your head, “No they aren't. They’re mine. My fiance, my twin, my family.”

He tilts his head to the side, saying nothing as he motions for Clarke and Bellamy to join him. They do, walking right past you, not even sparing you another look, stepping outside of the small house without you. You stand and try to move after them, but a disciple stops you in your tracks, holding you in place as you call out, “Bellamy! Clarke! Wait! Come back, don't leave me here! Please!”

They never turn back for you, but Anders does, his face smiling. “Join the cause and you won't feel fear. You won't feel lonely. You won't feel broken. Isn't that what you want?”

“No, I just want my damn family back!”

You get a rush of a feeling, one you're struggling to identify, but you never get time to figure out why. Anders shakes his head at you, disappointed, and turns to follow Bellamy and Clarke out the door. You stay trapped inside, held back by a disciple, screaming for them until your throat feels raw and painful. As you scream, you pass out with panic, and when your eyes pull open again, you wake with another scream. “Bellamy!”

But as your eyes look around, you find that you are back on Bardo in a stark white room, sitting beside Anders, who is now turned towards you. You sit up and turn to him with a glare, yanking the needle from your arm as you do. “What the hell was that?”

“A test, and you failed. Like Octavia, Hope, and Diyoza before you. You need to give up on your selfish love, the love you have for your twin and your romantic love.”

Your glare deepens, anger starting to rise within you. “I can't just turn it off like a robot.”

“Then you’d better learn to, because if you don't come over to the cause, you'll be sent back to Penance one at a time to grow old and die alone.” He stands, giving you a serious look as he does. “I suggest you commit to the training, or you'll lose your sanity and your life.”

He turns and leaves the room, through the door you walked into, leaving you alone. You sit in shock, frozen, just like you were before. You look up at Levitt, who has been standing silently nearby, and you ask, “What was that?”

“A fear simulation. It draws on your deepest fears and amplifies them.” You say nothing, still frozen, and Levitt continues, “Those two guys that Anders killed, who were they?”

You rack your brain, taking yourself back to the simulation, recognizing the men instantly now that you're back in reality. “Eligius prisoners. Brothers. I killed one when they came back to Earth, and the other tried to kill me in revenge before we left Earth. I almost died.”

Levitt nods, sensing how heavy this is weighing on you, and he motions towards the door. “The others are waiting for you.”

You nod in thanks, standing on shaky legs, and walk towards the door, out to the people on the other side who are keeping you from being a perfect disciple. 

-

Day 5 of training, 73 days until Clarke’s arrival 

You walk down the hall slowly, your eyes scanning the faces of those passing you, wondering if they’re suspicious of you or where you’re heading. But everyone seems uninterested in you or your destination, too invested in their own personal activities. When you reach the door marked 321, you hit the button and immediately slip inside, just like Octavia told you to earlier. During your sparring session, all of you agreed that you needed to meet and catch up, away from prying eyes and ears. Everyone agreed to meet in Echo’s room during personal hours to discuss everything you haven't had the chance to until now.

As the door slides shut behind you, you look up and find that Echo, Hope, Diyoza, and Octavia are already here, talking quietly, waiting for you. They look up at the sound of your arrival, and Octavia hugs you in greeting before motioning for you to sit beside her on the floor. The two Diyoza women are on the bed, and Echo is leaning against the wall, stoic. Everyone turns to you first, wanting to hear what you were up to before joining them in training. “I guess I should start by telling all of you that Clarke isn't the Key. They think she is because she had the Flame in her head in Polis, but they don't realize that she took it out that very same day.”

“So their obsession over her is all for nothing?”

You turn to Hope and nod, before adding, “Levitt knows. He saw it in my memories and told me that I couldn't let them in my head anymore in M-Cap. So after deleting the file, he told me how to beat the machine, which is what I started doing the next day. Eventually, Anders realized I wasn't letting him back in again and now I’m here.”

“Why are they keeping us separated from Gabriel?”

You shake your head at Octavia and shrug. “I’m not sure. Levitt did tell me that I was being kept from all of you because they were worried I'd try to escape once we reunited. Maybe they know we won’t leave without Gabriel, or maybe it’s because he’s part of the cipher team for the stone and they’re worried he’ll pass information to us.”

Diyoza adds, “They want us to break our bonds.”

“That too. They can't really keep the five of us separated because it would be a pain to train us all that way, but they can keep us away from him at the very least.” You sigh and shrug, “For now, we know we have a friend somewhere else around here. He knows the truth about Clarke too.”

Echo, who has been silent up until now, finally speaks up. “With the exception of Levitt and Gabriel, this needs to stay between us.”

“Agreed. I’m worried we’ll become more expendable if they know the truth, so we hold this one close to our chest until we need to use it.” You look around the room at everyone, making sure they nod in agreement before you ask, “Good. Now what were the four of you up to while I was gone?”

“Nothing as exciting as you. We spent seven days locked up before Echo figured out that they wanted us to fight, so we agreed to join their cause. We were only training for a few days when you showed up.”

“Did Anders take you to the surface?”

“Yes.”

You nod. “Good, so now we all know that the only way off of Bardo is through the heavily guarded Stone Room. They say Clarke is on her way to us, but because of time dilation, it’ll be a few weeks before she arrives. Until then, we play the part of disciple, pass their tests, and earn their trust. Agreed?”

You again make sure everyone nods before you ask, “Is there anything else we should all know?”

Everyone shakes their heads, nothing of importance to offer. But Diyoza speaks up to say, “We should only meet when necessary, and we’ll use a different room each time, just in case. When someone has something to share, find a way to signal the others, and we’ll meet in Octavia’s room next. Sound good?”

Everyone nods in agreement before Diyoza stands. “Wait a few minutes before leaving. I’ll see you beauty queens tomorrow.”

And without another word, she slips from the room. You, Octavia, and Hope talk for a few minutes before Hope is the next to leave, and then you and Octavia hang out before she too leaves, you and Echo now alone. You linger for a minute, looking at her, your incredibly stoic friend, her face still fresh with scars. This is the first time you’ve really been able to talk to her since you found out about Bellamy’s death, and you’re starting to worry that she isn't taking it well. You glance over at her, her eyes locked on her feet, avoiding your gaze, and you mutter, “Echo. Ash. talk to me.”

She looks up, shrugging off your concern the same way you shrugged off hers on Skyring. “I’m fine.”

Your eyes land on the scars on her face, and you cut her a look. She shrugs again, “This is how my people symbolize that the pain is over. The wound is healed, but we never forget. I will never forget what they did to Bellamy, to my family, to you.”

“Echo, I don't want you to lose yourself to this cause. You were the one that told me losing yourself to the mission only hurts yourself. I don't want that for you.”

“I want it for me. I failed Bellamy, and you, and my family. Bardo broke us, so I'm going to break them.”

You shake your head, “We are not broken, Echo. Bellamy may be gone, but he lives on in us and our family. We’re going to survive and live for him. We’re going to get off of this planet and go home.”

She nods a little, tears in her eyes, though she tries to hide them. You spent five years on a planet with her, becoming like family, and you know how important that is to her. Losing part of her family is like losing part of herself, and it's not something Echo takes lightly, which is obvious by her quiet intensity. You start to worry that she’ll never soften again, existing only in torn edges and sharp corners, which is why you hold your arms out for her, urging her to come hug you. You don't know if it's enough, if it’ll help, but it seems like the right thing to do. She crosses the room towards you and pulls you into her arms, the two of you standing in the middle of her room, sniffing quietly as you both hold back tears, mourning the man you both loved.

Losing Bellamy is like losing part of yourself, part of your heart, and you’re sure the hole in your heart will never be filled, not even if you fall in love again. Because Bellamy is special. He’s bright and magnetic and wonderful, with a soft side that he keeps hidden for those closest to him. He is stormy and protective and loyal, and it's hard to fathom a world without him in it. You’re not sure if your brain will ever fully process the loss, because it’s easier to pretend that he’s somewhere else. Back on Sanctum, waiting for you in your room above the tavern. Back on Earth, in the house you saved for you both, the Iliad in his hands, just waiting to read to you.

Bellamy was easy to love, which makes him hard to lose. The world seems less bright without him in it, and it hurts you to know that so few people know of his loss. He deserves to be mourned properly, to be buried somewhere he can be visited, but you’ll likely never get that. Not with his body gone, blown to bits by the disciple and his grenade. And maybe that’s what hurts most of all, that he can't be mourned in the way he deserves. He didn't deserve to be killed the way he was, he didn't deserve the death that was given to him. He deserved to live long and grow old, with you by his side, watching his grandchildren play. He deserved a life happier than the one he got, with no more war or killing. Instead, he was killed while trying to protect Octavia. Something that is so true to his nature, but so painful nonetheless.

As you pull away from Echo and look into her tear stained face, you regret that there are five years worth of memories that you never got to share with him. He never got to see your friendship with Echo, or hear about your non crooked stitches. You never got to share your cooking with him, or show him how well you can shoot a bow. You have five years of memories, all of them without him, all of them made while he was being killed on Bardo.

-

Day 12 of training, 66 days until Clarke’s arrival

Before training could begin, Anders pulls you, Octavia, Echo, Hope, and Diyoza from the room and tells you to follow him and Levitt to some unknown destination. None of you argue, though you're not sure you would if you could, silently following the two men down the hall, long aware of the fact that the questions you ask are rarely answered. 

They lead the five of you to a lab, one technician inside. They flip on the lights in the room, revealing two long rows of tubes, a baby floating inside each one. The five of you all exchange a weird look before you tentatively move closer, stopping in front of one of the tubes to look at the baby floating inside. Levitt and Anders let all of you take in the sight in silence, aware that it’s a lot to process. Diyoza is the first to accept the babies, her tone light as she jokes, “No morning sickness, sign me up.”

Anders nods and expands on her point. “No negative effects on a person’s health in any way, and we can monitor the embryos and the extracorporeal gestational systems for birth defects and correct them before they are born.”

Levitt sees you and Octavia still exchanging weirded out looks, and he adds, “I know it must seem strange, but the fact that you gestated in someone’s body is equally as bizarre to us.”

Diyoza turns to Hope and smirks, “You did kick the hell out of my kidneys.”

“Exactly. In our method, none of our people are laid up for extended periods of time. Do you want to know how many embryos we have?” Anders pauses to look at all of you, his eyes landing on you as he continues. “35, the same number of disciples that you have murdered.”

All of you exchange a tense look, clearly not forgiven for the disciples you've killed, but Octavia shakes her head, confused. “If you need as many warriors as possible, then why don't you just hatch a larger army?”

“Resources. It's a limited world.”

Hope mutters, “And you can only mind control so many at a time, so-”

Diyoza cuts her off and cuts her a look, trying to cover for her by asking, “And these kids, they don't have and parents to take care of them after they're...deglopped?”

Anders nods, “The team raises the children until they're ready for the creche, and then it's everyone's job.”

Diyoza clarifies, “So they don't form selfish bonds.”

Anders smiles a little, “Exactly. You're learning.”

Hope cuts a look at her mother, and Diyoza cuts one right back, the two women clearly not on the same page. You turn away and look back at one of the babies, your hand instinctively lifting to your own stomach. You try to imagine what it’s like to be pregnant, something you thought you’d get to experience with Bellamy. But now, that is just another dream stolen by Bardo. You feel a pang of sadness for the children you’ll never get to have with him, reminded each day that you spend in Bardo that this planet has stolen nearly everything from you. 

You have to push away the flash of anger that threatens to rise, reminding yourself to be a mask of calm, playing your part until you can get out of here.

-

Day 14 of training, 64 days until Clarke’s arrival

Two days after your trip to see the test tube babies, Anders announces another field trip, this time, without Levitt. He stays behind to train the others while Anders leads you down the hall to one of the classrooms, eager to give all of you a taste of the education that the Bardoans receive when they’re younger. You’re all led into a large classroom, all of the walls covered with artwork, reminding you of the school on Sanctum, and the school in Mount Weather, making you long for the school on the Ark that you never got to attend. 

There are five kids in the room with the teacher, who greets Anders enthusiastically. Behind the five children are five empty chairs, one for each of you, and you take a seat between Octavia and Echo. Anders and the teacher speak quietly for a minute, clearly discussing what the kids have been learning, because Anders turns around and smiles. “I understand you have learned a lot about the Shepherd's journey. Who can tell me about Etherea?”

A girl in front of Hope eagerly waves her hand, and Anders points at her. She drops her hand and answers, “The mountain was very tall and very scary, but the Shepherd was brave and wise.”

“Excellent. Who else can tell me something about the Shepherd's journey to enlightenment? What passage do we have in our books about it?” Nearly everyone raises their hand, except for the little boy sitting in front of you. Anders directs his gaze over to him, and nods. “Sean.”

Sean looks up at him, worried, and stutters, “I- I don't know.”

The teacher looks at Sean with an empathetic smile. “Sometimes when new things happen, we get nervous. We have feelings we need to learn to control, otherwise they control us. But when we feel out of control, we know what to do. Perhaps we'll have the honor of Mr. Anders leading us in our exercise.”

Anders nods, still smiling. “My pleasure. Okay, close your eyes.”

The kids quickly comply, but the five of you are more suspicious. Octavia glances at you, and you both shrug, before she closes her eyes. Then Echo, then Diyoza, until only you and Hope have your eyes open. Anders opens his and looks between you both, urging, “Everyone.”

You suppress an eye roll and close your eyes, listening to Anders as he leads the room. “Now take a deep breath. Hold it and let it out slowly on the count of three.” 

You do as he says, taking in a deep breath, letting it out slowly when he tells you to. Then you listen as everyone in the room chants, “The Shepherd brings us calm. The Shepherd brings us wisdom. The Shepherd brings us love for all mankind.”

There is a pause before Anders takes the lead again, “Now open your eyes and breathe.”

All of you comply, your eyes pulling open and landing on Anders, who is steadily watching Hope. You glance over at her, noting the annoyance on her face, which Anders also seems to notice, though he pretends not to. “Excellent. Miss Haggerman, thank you for your time. Continue working hard.”

He motions for all of you to follow him, and you stand from your chairs and move towards the door, following Anders path. Behind you, you can hear Hope whisper, “Oh, this is some serious brainwashing.”

Echo counters, “These kids had it better than I ever did.”

You turn to glance at Echo, remembering the stories she’s told you of her childhood, and you offer her a sympathetic look. She pretends not to notice, all of you remembering to go blank faced as soon as you’re out in the hall and under the watchful eyes of the disciples, morphing into who they want you to be.

-

Day 18 of training, 60 days until Clarke’s arrival

You all sit in tense silence, waiting for Echo, the last to arrive.

Hope and Diyoza are sitting on your bed, and you and Octavia are leaning against opposite walls, all of you anxious to begin the meeting that Echo called. You’re careful to only call these when necessary, though you’ve been even more cautious as of late, due to your training nearing its end. You know all of you will be given your final tests soon, and it’s vital that you pass and appear to be perfect soldiers. At the very least, you need to be convincing ones. 

Which is why you've avoided any meetings if you can help it. But Echo seemed pretty adamant that this needed to be called, so everyone complied, agreeing to gather in your room as soon as possible, which is where you are now, waiting for Echo’s arrival. It’s only a few minutes before she slips in the room, and as soon as the door is shut behind her, she closes the space between herself and Hope, glaring as she moves. “They are watching us all of the time. You've got to try harder.”

Diyoza nods in agreement. “She's right. Echo's the only one that passed the fear simulation, but you're the only one who almost killed Anders.”

Hope mutters, “Yeah, wish it was real.”

“Stop.'' Everyone turns to look at Octavia, who is now moving over to Hope, a scolding look on her face. “Get your anger under control, or do you want to go to Penance alone?”

“What do they want with us, anyway? We can already kick the disciples' asses.”

You cut Hope a look, “Not the point.”

“Single minded devotion. Screw your friends, family. You've got to bury your love and your anger and everything else so deep they'll never find it.”

Echo adds, “It's not that hard.”

“Yeah, for you.” Hope turns her anger on Echo, taking the low blow. “You know, you just like having someone give you orders again so you don't have to think for yourself.”

“Hope.” She ignores your scolding tone and keeps her gaze focused on Echo, waiting for a reaction. Echo scoffs, “I think it's time for me to go to bed.”

She walks towards the door, but stops when she’s right in front of it, turning to look at Hope again. “Damn yourself if you want to, but I believe in what they're teaching, and I will not let you take me down with you.”

Echo pushes the button to your door and slips outside without another word, leaving the rest of you in silence, a little stunned by her admission of believing in the disciples. None of you really know what to say after that, and Hope seems annoyed by all of you ganging up on her, so everyone breaks apart pretty soon after, going off to their respective rooms to process the new information.

-

Day 26 of training, 53 days until Clarke’s arrival

As soon as all of you arrive at training in the morning, Levitt informs you that today will be spent primarily working with weapons training and learning how to properly use the suits. You all follow him down the hall to a new room, one you haven't seen before, weapons covering every inch of the walls. Levitt sends those more familiar with the suits, the native Bardoans, to a different room to spar, while you and the others are fitted with gloves. 

Octavia volunteers to go first, sitting patiently as Levitt measures her hands and picks her out a pair of gloves, while Diyoza watches on. You, Echo, and Hope walk around the room, surveying the weapons as Levitt explains the gloves to you. “They're like trainers for the suits, and they work with muscle contractions. Not as cool as swords, but still pretty effective.”

Diyoza snorts a little at Levitt’s inability to hide his awe for Octavia, and you look over at her, the two of you sharing a look and holding back a laugh. Octavia throws both of you a scolding look before nodding towards the guns and asking, “Do we get to play with those?”

“You'll be cross trained on all of them eventually.”

Hope points towards a weapon, built almost like a rifle, situated in a case by itself. “What is this?”

Diyoza, familiar with the weapon from her time on Earth, answers her daughter before Levitt can. “That's a flamethrower. It'll make you smokey and crispy.”

“We don't know what we'll be fighting, so we have to be prepared for everything.”

Echo nudges you and when you turn to look her way, she nods towards a large door behind Diyoza. It’s intimidating, seemingly locked tight, a warning printed on the front containing the word ‘biohazard’. You share a look with Echo before she looks over her shoulder at Levitt. “What's in here?”

“Only level 11s and above allowed.”

“Bioweapons?”

“Not a weapon, at least not anything that we would ever use.” Levitt pauses, looking like he wants to say more, but hesitant to do so. Octavia puts her hand over his and squeezes lightly, smiling at him, laying on the charm. “If we're gonna go all in, you're gonna have to trust us.”

You exchange another look with Diyoza, the two of you smirking as Levitt falls for it and adds, “After years of study, we've managed to isolate the substance that wiped out the former inhabitants of this planet.”

You look at Levitt in confusion, “Those crystal creatures that are outside?”

“Yes. We call in Gem 9, and the little that we have would wipe out everyone on Bardo.” He seems uncomfortable to say it, noting the shock on all of your faces as you take in the fact that behind that scary door is a substance that can kill everyone here. Wanlida smiles at the thought, already working on a plan, but you shake your head and stop her, not wanting to go down that path. Not right now. Levitt must sense the shift in the attitude of the room, because he looks over all of you and calls out, “Now it's time to train.”

After quickly fitting the rest of you for gloves, he leads you into another room, where your other trainees, and now Anders, are waiting. As soon as everyone arrives, Anders pairs you off and begins to explain the exercise of the day. “This exercise is about communication and teamwork. It's very simple. The shooter will be firing blindly, and they'll have to listen to their spotter to hit the small target behind me. First person who hits it wins.”

Everyone nods in understanding, and your partner, a girl named Lila, checks over your glove, making sure it’s on the right way. Once she checks it over, you turn towards Anders and the target. He looks over everyone with a smile, “Please help your partner with the blindfolds.” 

He starts to walk towards you, to get out of the way, but as he does, Echo stops him with a question. “Are these weapons lethal?”

“No.” Anders gives her a strange look, and you resist the urge to do the same thing, wondering why the hell she’d ask something like that. But you don't have time to question it, because Lila starts to shimmy the blindfold onto your head, obstructing your vision. As she pulls it down into place, you hear Anders' voice again, this time from behind you. “Is everyone ready?”

With a murmur of agreement, he states, “Begin.”

You lift your arm towards the general direction of the target, and Lila leans close to you, muttering by your ear. “Down a little, and to the left.”

You shift your arm and adjust your aim, waiting for her next instruction to come, but it never does. Instead, you hear three shots fire out and a series of grunts before you hear a fourth follow suit. Seconds later, you feel a shockwave pass through you, reminding you of the shock batons from the Ark, the force of it knocking you off your feet and onto the ground. You pull off your blindfold and look in Echo’s direction, down where the shots came from, your face scrunching into a glare. “What the hell?”

You pull yourself to your feet as she looks towards you, her face perfectly calm, not an ounce of regret in her expression. “I won.”

You look at her in shock, wondering who the hell this woman is, because it is not the Echo that you used to know. One glance at Hope, Diyoza, and Octavia confirms that they’re all thinking the same thing, equally as confused by this intense change in Echo. Clearly she meant it when she told all of you she believed in what they’re teaching in Bardo, because she’s only gotten weirder and more distant since then. 

Levitt gives Echo a look too, responding to her claim of victory. “Technically, but you broke the spirit of the rules.”

She shrugs, “Following rules isn't how you win a war.”

Behind you, you can hear Anders whisper to Levitt, his voice thick with admiration. “Perfect control. That is how we win.”

You shake your head, not sure you’d ever want to do something that pleases Anders that much. You know that all of you are supposed to be playing the part of perfect disciples, but now you're really starting to worry that Echo is no longer playing. That this is very real for her and that she will betray all of you for Bardo, which worries you even more considering that she knows the secret about Clarke, and the lack of the Flame in her head. If she really believes what Bardo is teaching, you might need to be more careful around her, just in case. And you hate the idea that you’re possibly losing part of your family to Bardo, another thing stolen from you, but at this point, it’s more important to you to protect Clarke, and that means keeping the secret of the Flame.

-

Day 37 of training, 42 days until Clarke’s arrival

You wake before the morning alarm and lie awake in bed, staring at the ceiling. Your thoughts immediately drift to Bellamy and Clarke, something you’ve let yourself do less of the last few days as you prepare for your final tests in becoming a disciple. You don't know when they’re coming, they just seem to spring them on you the day of, meaning you have to stay prepared. And anytime you let yourself get lost in your thoughts and memories of Bellamy and Clarke, you find it difficult to focus for the rest of the day, difficult to play the part you’re supposed to be playing, your emotions written all over your face for everyone to see. 

So instead of letting your brain run free this morning, you hop into the shower, turning the water as hot as it will go, hoping it will serve as a good distraction from the chaos in your mind. You focus on the movements of your shower, washing your hair and face and body, carefully getting the knots out of your hair, getting ready for another day as a disciple. As soon as you step out and dry off, you immediately get dressed, not wanting the chill of Bardo to reach you. Before you pull on your socks and boots, you reach down and touch the necklace now chained around your ankle, making sure that it’s still securely in place. The moon hangs just above your foot, a ring held next to it, the last two of your most prized possessions that you still have left. 

You haven't seen your Grounder knife since you tried to break out of Bardo a few weeks ago, and you left the Iliad back in Sanctum, assuming you’d return in no time. Now it’s been over five years and you’re no closer to returning than you were when you arrived at Skyring initially. You sigh and shake the thoughts from your head, tucking the belongings into your sock before pulling on your shoes and heading out for the day, walking straight to the mess hall. 

You look around the room, eyes scanning for Gabriel, wishing you could just get a glance of him and see that he’s okay. Not knowing is killing you more than anything. But just like every other morning, Gabriel is not in the mess hall, leaving you to wonder about his fate as you quickly eat your breakfast. Leaving you to hope that soon, all of you can be reunited again, and you can get off of Bardo.

-

Day 54 of training, 25 days until Clarke’s arrival

Anders releases all of you from training late, well past the time you usually stop for dinner. Once he finally lets you go, everyone rushes off in search of leftovers, but you linger behind, not ready to join them just yet. Your mind has been racing all day, plagued by thoughts of your life before Bardo, your body almost aching with how much you want to be back with the people you love. As the others make a beeline for dinner, you wander the halls of Bardo, letting your feet take you where they want to go. Eventually, unsurprisingly, you find yourself in front of the door to the oxygen farm, staring at the button that will let you in. Technically, there are no rules that you’re aware of that are keeping you out of the arboretum, but you’re sure your presence in the room is highly discouraged, especially considering the fact that you killed ten people when you were here last.

Still, the allure of the woods is too strong and you reach out for the button, slipping inside unnoticed. You kneel just inside of the room and quickly tug off your shoes and socks, standing again and letting the damp grass tickle your feet. You haven't felt the calming aspect of nature in weeks, your body confined to the harsh and sterile landscape of Bardo. You relish in the feel of the Earth between your toes, the cool mist that hangs in the air, and you're reminded again how easy it is to pretend that you're back home on Earth and not on some planet training for a war that you don’t want to fight.

You walk through the trees, reaching out to touch their trunks as you pass, picking a few flowers as you spot them. Nothing more than weeds and wildflowers, not wanting to take the nicer flowers, just wanting something that can remind you of this place once you have to leave again. 

You eventually wander into a field, surrounded by different flowers and plants, and as you reach out and pick a few, you recite their names, something that you used to do with Clarke in Shallow Valley. She was insistent that you and Madi learn the different types of plants that could be used for medicinal purposes, including what those purposes were, and you and Madi spent a lot of time reciting the plants to each other, finding it to be the easiest way to remember. As you reach for a pretty purple flower, you whisper, "Lavender. Lavandula angustifolia, thought to be good for anxiety, sleep, and relaxation.”

You slip the lavender into the rest of your bundle, nearly jumping out of your skin when a voice from behind you says, “You shouldn't be in here.”

Your eyes go wide as you turn and lock eyes with Anders, his smiling expression not matching his scolding tone. His eyes drop to the flowers in your hand and you mutter, “I’m sorry. I just wanted to wind down after training and I thought this might be a nice place to do it.”

“Do you do this often?”

You shake your head, “This is my first time here since…”

You trail off, not wanting to say what you're both thinking. Since you murdered a bunch of disciples in an escape attempt. But Anders understands exactly what you’re alluding to, because his expression drops a little before he nods. “You seem to know a lot about the flowers in your hand.”

You shrug a little, “On Earth, Clarke wanted me to learn about different flowers and their medicinal properties. I guess I've retained some of it.”

“She must have picked that up from your mother. She was a doctor, correct?” You nod, but say nothing, not wanting to have this conversion with Anders, but really feeling like you have no other choice. You start to worry it’s going to make him want to put you back in M-Cap, something that you don't want to deal with, especially now that the scar on the side of your face is healed. Anders must sense this, ever intuitive, because he almost laughs a little at the expression on your face. “Relax, Miss Griffin. I’m not here to interrogate you about Clarke or put you back in M-Cap. Though you may think otherwise, I don’t enjoy forcefully taking people’s memories. As you can see, we've respected your desire to no longer let us in your head.”

“Thank you.”

He acknowledges your thanks with a nod before moving closer to you. “I did come here to offer my assistance though.”

“What do you mean?” 

“You seemed distracted today, and I wanted to remind you that final tests begin soon. We don't expect perfect emotional control from any of you, but we do expect some level of control. You were doing well, up until today, so I wanted to offer a technique.” You nod, hesitant, but unable to disagree. “Do you remember when we went to visit the class and sit in on their lesson?”

“Yes.”

“There was an exercise we did together, that we never really expanded upon to all of you. But it is one that we use in Bardo when we need help seeking control of ourselves and our emotions. I’d like to teach it to you.”

You nod, and Anders motions for you to follow him to the center of the clearing. He surprises you by sitting down in the grass, likely staining his white robes, motioning for you to do the same. You sit across from him, setting your flowers aside, and he looks at you with an unreadable expression before nodding. “Okay, close your eyes.”

You’re tense and uncomfortable, not liking the fact that you are in the oxygen farm with Anders, alone, no one aware that you’re here. And though you don't think Anders would do anything, he still freaks you out and makes you uncomfortable. But as you close your eyes, Wanlida smiles, reminding you that you are not a sheep sitting with a wolf. You are the wolf, and Anders is the sheep. You have killed men and women, you have defied death at every turn, and you have led death to others. If Anders messes with you, you will do the same to him, walking him straight to Death’s door if you have to. 

Once your eyes are closed, Anders whispers, “Take in a deep breath and hold it.”

You suck in a breath and lock it inside, waiting for him to give quiet instructions. “Now let it out, slowly.”

You push the air out past your lips, releasing it back into the atmosphere around you, trying to send some of your anxieties and worries out with it. Anders then whispers, “Repeat after me. The Shepherd brings us calm.”

“The Shepherd brings us calm.”

“The Shepherd brings us wisdom.”

You whisper back, “The Shepherd brings us wisdom.”

“The Shepherd brings us love, for all mankind.”

You cringe inwardly, but you repeat the final line, “The Shepherd brings us love, for all mankind.”

And despite your better judgement, you do feel better when Anders says, “Open your eyes.”

You pull them open and look at Anders' serene expression. “Better?”

You nod, “Yes, thank you.”

“Good.”

He stands and you follow suit, wiping the grass from your pants as he offers, “You know, they can always use extra hands in the medical ward, especially from people with real world experience. Maybe you could volunteer some of your time there.”

You force a smile to your face, “I’d like that.”

He smiles back, opening his mouth to say something else when the evening alarm rings, letting everyone know that you should get to your room if you aren't already. Whatever Anders was going to originally say, he changes his mind with the alarm. “You should get back to your room. I’ll have someone deliver something for you to eat, because a disciple needs their strength.”

“Thank you.”

The two of you look at each other for a minute before you turn and head towards the door, grabbing your boots and socks on the way out, heading back to your room barefoot. As you move, you start to think that maybe there is some good in the repeated mantras that the disciples seem so fond of. Giving yourself something to think about other than the fears running through your head might be a good way to push back against the things that weigh on you throughout the day, which is why you create your own.

I am war, rage singing beneath my skin, running into battle and wearing Death like a crown. 

I am the moon, loss tied to my ankles like chains, trying to pull me down, but still I rise. 

I am fire, wild and untameable, spitting flames when I walk, unapologetic as I burn down the world around me. 

You repeat the words in your head, breathing deeply and pushing your worries away. By the time you reach your room, you feel a sense of calm that you don’t think you’ve felt in years.

-

Day 68 of training, 12 days until Clarke’s arrival

You sit in your bed, staring up at the ceiling, as usual, fiddling with a strap around your thigh. Your brain is trying to drift to distracting thoughts, anxious thoughts, and you remind yourself to stay centered by repeating your mantra in your head. “I am war, rage singing beneath my skin, running into battle and wearing Death like a crown. I am the moon, loss tied to my ankles like chains, trying to pull me down, but still I rise.  I am fire, wild and untameable, spitting flames when I walk, unapologetic as I burn down the world around me.”

As you repeat the words, you hear the door to your room open, and you sit up in confusion, your eyes landing on Hope, who is standing in your doorway with a flamethrower on her back. She gives you an urgent look as she glances out into the hallway. “We need to go.”

You ignore her and stare at the weapon in her hand. “You took the flamethrower?”

“We need to torch the oxygen farm.”

You give her a confused look, “What?”

“I already shut down the fire suppression system. It'll be an inferno. We'll end Bardo today.”

Part of her plan appeals to you, and Hope seems to recognize this because she is already turning and running out the door, expecting you to follow. You run after her, your necklace bouncing against your chest as you move, and you call out, “Hope, wait! What about your mother and Octavia and Gabriel and Echo?”

She reaches an elevator and steps inside, turning to look at you as she answers, “The alarms will create chaos. We'll have time to get to them, and through the confusion, we'll get to the Stone Room and get off this planet.”

You give her a look and step inside, watching her closely as you consider her plan because something feels off to you. This whole moment, something about it is strange, and it’s weighing on you, nagging at you, convincing you to stop Hope. “I don't think you thought this through.”

“I thought you wanted this.” She shakes her head at you, disappointed. “They took Bellamy from you. They stole my life!”

“Yes, but this isn't the right way. Let's go get the others and run this plan by them.”

“Don't you understand? They'll try and stop us. You've seen Echo, they've bought in. We have to save them from themselves.”

The elevator door slides open behind you, and Hope pushes past you and out into the hallway, stalking towards the oxygen farm, despite you protesting behind her. “Hope! Hope, let's talk about this.”

She reaches the door to the oxygen farm and smashes the button, turning on you when it slides open. “Talk? That is not the la lune that I spent five years with on Skyring. That’s not the la lune that nearly drowned trying to save Bellamy.”

She starts to step inside, disappointment rolling off of her in waves. “I guess they got to you too.”

You look at her in shock, that nagging feeling returning as you watch her walk deeper into the woods. She stops and turns towards you, fidgeting with the flamethrower as she scoffs, “You know, I thought Bellamy meant something to you.”

The blow hits you hard, making your breath stutter in your throat, because of course Bellamy meant something to you. He still does. Still, that nagging feeling returns, and you glare at her. “You know he does, but this isn't right!”

“I have to save you from yourself, all of you!”

And as she reaches for the button to activate the flamethrower, your body slips into motion. You are tearing through the trees towards her, the scene unfolding like it’s in slow motion. She doesn't realize you’re closing the space between you until you’re nearly by her side, and as you close the distance between you, your hand reaches for the Grounder knife on your thigh, pulling it from the holster and plunging it into Hope’s neck in one fell swoop. Hope looks at you in shock, blood spilling out from around the knife as she stutters and chokes, before finally she drops to her knees, and you close your eyes in sorrow, your eyes opening up to a bright white room. 

You sit up suddenly, looking down at a needle in your arm, and Hope in a chair beside you, alive and well. Behind you, Levitt stands, looking down at you, and finally the pieces connect. The final fear simulation. You stare at Levitt in shock as you whisper, “I killed her.”

“Yes. And you saved everyone else in Bardo.” He leans down to pull the needle from your arm, relaying the good news to you. “You passed the final test.”

You turn and stare at Hope, still in her own fear simulation, and you feel no excitement over passing the test, because you just simulated killing your friend to do it. And even though it isn't real, it feels cruel to even put you through it, to simulate another death of someone you love on Bardo. It reminds you too much of Bellamy, and you abruptly stand, eager to leave the room and let your emotions out without anyone watching, whispering a quiet goodbye as you slip from the room.

-

Day 80 of training, 2 days until Clarke’s arrival

Once you pass the fear simulation, everyone is given their assignments and given the opportunity to get accustomed to your new routine. You, Octavia, Echo, and the Diyozas have been unable to meet to discuss the fact that Hope failed her fear simulation, because there are eyes on you at all times, just waiting for you to mess up before the Ceremony. You all manage to stay out of trouble and play your parts, and a little over a week later, you’re invited to the Ceremony, held inside the Stone Room. 

Your eyes move to the stone a few times throughout, so close to the way out, but so far at the same time. You try to focus on Levitt, who is moving down the front row, tattooing all of you with your new symbols, literally symbolizing your success as level 2s. He starts with Echo, and then Diyoza, and then Octavia, before finally moving over to you. He lifts the machine to the right side of your face, the two symbols burning into the skin near the start of your cheekbone, back near your hairline. It burns for a second and then it’s over, the flash of pain so temporary compared to everything else you've faced. 

Anders stands at the front of the room, looking you all over with pride, and once everyone has been tattooed, he begins his speech. “You should all be proud. Each of you has shown commitment to the cause, and I'm sure you will serve well in the Last War. Sadly, one of you has not been able to grow for the cause.”

He pauses to glance over at Hope, who is standing close to you, held between two disciples, back to being a prisoner. “The Shepherd is merciful. We don't expect perfect emotional control so soon, certainly not from level 2s. Echo…”

He turns to glance at Echo, down at the other end of the front line, a small smile on his face. “You have been our star student. You fully integrated into our culture, so I'm giving you the honor of deciding Hope's fate.”

Echo glances at Hope, your friend, your family, and shocks all of you with her decision. “We have to break her spirit, rip apart her bonds. 5 years on Penance.”

You can feel the energy shift around Diyoza, Hope, and Octavia, all of them just as shocked as you are about the sentence. And you know all of you are wondering the same thing: is she still on your side? Is she still one of you? But Anders seems satisfied with the punishment, turning to look at Hope’s guards. “A fair sentence. Guards, put her in the cell block until Penance is available.”

They nod and start to lead her away, but Hope panics and starts to fight, looking at Echo with betrayal. “No, no, no! Echo, what are you doing? What are you doing!”

When she gets no reaction from Echo, she turns to her mother, fighting against the guards that are now dragging her away, screaming, “Mom, please! No! Please! Stop!”

You swallow the emotion that threatens to rise, and you know Octavia and Diyoza are doing the same thing, all of your hearts breaking at the sound of Hope’s cries. Anders moves past the moment as if nothing occurred, smiling over the group again. “Her penance begins soon, but your celebration begins now. For all mankind.”

You all lift your hands and repeat the words in perfect unison, thus cementing your fate as one of the Bardoans. A disciple. A level 2. The rest of your identity has been stripped away, hidden, individuality discouraged and unity encouraged. And all the things that make you who you are, like your love for others, your memories, your humanity, are buried deep within you, only let out when you are alone, when you can trust that no one is watching.

The months of hiding yourself scares you, because you worry that you'll start to forget.

Forget what Bardo did to you.

To Bellamy.

To your family.

All of that hidden away in favor of being a good soldier, part of the collective, worried only about the things that will help all mankind.

-

next chapter

#the 100 #the 100 rewrite #bellamy blake #bellamy blake x reader #bellamy blake fanfiction

[danifics18]

↪  Tutor Sessions  (M)  ↩

Tags : Mature//Dirty Talk//switch! Reader//switch! Hongjoong//Slight throat grabbing//Slight Hair Pulling//Dorm Fucking//PWP//

Word Count : 3042

    General Masterlist    Ateez Masterlist

 A/N : This is my first requested, so I do hope it’s meeting expectations. I only speak one language, so I hope i’m not playing too much into bi-lingual stereotypes. Things said in English will only be bold, and things in Korean will be bold and in italics. Ngl this has a bit of a porn type of cheesiness to it. I don’t know why, but I got major switch! vibes when I was planning this out, so if anything seems a bit odd, please keep in mind that I am a bratty sub trying to write something that is way out of my league 💕

  “Mom, I know, I know. I’m really having a nice time here, and I feel like I enjoy it a lot more than I would’ve if I’d stayed back closer to home,” You say into your phone before briefly pausing to take a sip of your quickly cooling coffee “Mom, I’d really like to keep talking, but I do need to make it to my class. I’ll call you before I eat dinner, yeah?”. After a few more I love you’s, and a promise to go home for Christmas, you finally say your final good-byes before hanging up the phone.

   Your family never quite understood your need to move away for college, them preferring if you stayed closer to your small hometown. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to be around your family, you just took the first chance you could, to explore the world a bit before you felt like you really had to settle down. And while that was easier said than done, you had made the plan to move away for college since your first teenage job at a Korean Market, in the town next to yours. You’d been quite close with the owners, since you and their daughter had grown up together as best friends- you would be staying at each other’s houses multiple times a month since you guys were eight years old. As you’d gotten older, and had stayed around your best friend’s family, you ended up learning quite a bit of the Korean language yourself. It wasn’t until you got into high school that your friend’s grandma moved in from South Korea, and had decided that she would help out at the store by counting inventory in the back ( although that really meant getting invested in a Korean show, until someone walked back to check on her ). She didn’t know any English, and you only knew basic Korean, and feeling rude for not being able to effectively communicate with her, you enlisted the help of your best friend to help you learn. It took a lot of work, but you got a hold of the language eventually. And from that point on you were able to really connect with your best friend’s grandmother ( not to say you didn’t have a few language slip ups, because you definitely did ), but soon enough, one of your favorite past times became watching Korean daytime shows, and listening to your friend’s grandmother talk about her past time in her native country and all the places you should visit if you go. In your third year of high school, she unfortunately past on, but your past conversations sparked a need to travel in you, although you didn’t know how to make it happen. It wasn’t until your best friend brought up that she felt the same way, that you two made final plans to attend college in Seoul.

   Years later, and you two were in your second years of college, living in a dorm together ( even though you guys were excited to have a roommate, you were even more glad that you didn’t have to share any space with another person ). It was difficult learning how to live in a new country, but it kept you on your toes in a way that you learned to enjoy.

   Tossing your head back to down the rest of your now cold coffee, you walk to your last class of the day. Your counselor had convinced you that even though you were a foreigner who knew English, you should still take the English Language class for some easy credits- and it really wasn’t a hard class. You obviously knew everything, although, you did forget some words occasionally, due to speaking only Korean most of the time.

   Sitting down at your seat and pulling out your laptop for notes, you look to the side as your seat neighbor sits down, pulling his earbuds out from his ears. As he glances over at you, you smile and give him a small

‘Hello’

, smiling even wider when he does the same. Kim Hongjoong was a boy you didn’t really know personally, mainly because of how quiet he was, but you heard about him from the way people usually talk about him. At any of the good parties, you would hear both the cheers and complains if he would show up. The cheers due to the fact that people felt like they had a chance to get with the handsome and charming Kim Hongjoong, and the complains due to how he and his friends would be the only ones getting most of the female ( and some male ) attention- supposedly taking it away from any other men at the party. You didn’t really understand it, yes, he’s handsome, and you have no doubt in your mind that he could probably be charming, but he never asked for attention at parties. Most of his time would be spent helping his drunk friends not cause too much chaos, or just generally looking like he’s having a good time with his friends- you’ve never seen him talk to anyone else, unless it was to help a random drunk person from stumbling over as they walk by him.

  Shaking out of your thoughts, you focused on your professor and the topic of this week- human anatomy. You knew you really didn’t need to take notes, but you decided to anyway when the professor started showing slides that were titled with the scientific words of body parts- although they mentioned that you wouldn’t lose points on the test if you couldn’t remember the scientific words rather than the non-scientific.

  As class ended and you were packing up your bag you heard a soft “Excuse me,” from the seat next to yours. Turning your head to look at the blue haired boy, you raise your eyebrows with a small “Yes?” “I don’t mean to bother you, but you’re the only person in this class that already knows English, and I really didn’t understand these notes at all. If you have the time, do you think you could help me review?” he asks with a small hesitation before continuing his ramble “If you don’t have the time that’s fine too, I could probably find someone who could help, I thought it would just be easier since we sit next to each other,” He finishes with a slight hue of pink on the tips of his ears.

  Giving a small smile at his shy state, you tell him of course you’d have time to help him. Other classmates have asked you for help before as well, so it really wasn’t anything new to you. After exchanging numbers, you both decided to meet up the next day at your dorm, since your friend had work and school until later on that night- and his apartment would be way too noisy since he shares it with three other boys.

  The next day, you’d woken up at a decent time, and immediately cleaned around the house and got ready for your guest to come over for the day. By noon, you had a knock on your door, and you walked over to let in Hongjoong with his laptop, bag and two cups.

  “I hope you like fruit smoothies, because I feel bad that you’re helping me without any payment I would've got you a coffee, but I didn’t know what you liked, and I figured that most people like fruit,” he said while handing you the smoothie and kicking off his shoes. “Thank you! I really like fruit smoothies, I haven’t had one in a while, especially since I usually drink coffee to keep me up,” you retort,” Here, we could study in the living room if you want, but since we don’t have any extra plugs here, we’ll have to move to my room if we need to charge anything.”

  The first hour of studying went well, you both had taken pretty good notes, and your previous knowledge helped out quite a bit as well- so you two decided to order some food, and by the time it would make it to your apartment, you’d both be ready for a break from studying. The extra thirty minutes of the food arriving made you both restless, both shuffling and readjusting yourselves on the couch- occasionally brushing arms and thighs together- both getting up to get the food at the door. Chuckling at how eager you both were for not only the food, but for a break as well, you told him to wait at the table while you got the food.

  Settling everything out, you guys began eating and talking. You learned that Hongjoong is a music major, and he works at a local radio station, which explains why he comes into class with dark circles under his eyes at times.

  “You know, I’m actually really glad that you asked me for help. I haven’t had the chance to talk to you yet, and you always seem really friendly,” You tell him while taking a bite of your food. He looks up from his plate, with evident surprise in his eyes “Really? Well I’m really glad I talked to you then. You’ve always seemed a little bit intimidating because of how unbothered you act, but I like that...,” He trails off, eyes following the your fork leaving your lips, a stain of red sauce next to your lip,” Oh, you have a bit of..,” He gestures to the side of your lip, eventually just licking his thumb and gently wiping the sauce off your face and resting it on your bottom lip for you to lick off.

  With wide eyes, you wrap your lips around his thumb, licking it clean, with a heat rushing through your cheeks and core. Hongjoong cuts the groan erupting from his throat off with a cough and pulls his thumb out- letting the groan out when he sees the string of saliva from his digit to your mouth. As you both gravitate towards each other slightly, you rest your hand on his upper thigh and ask “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”, “I mean we do need to study, but I think I figured out a way we can study, and I can repay you for your kindness,” he replies with a devious glint in his eye.

  And with that, you put your hand on his jaw and guide him to your face to meet in a searing kiss that leaves your head reeling. Pulling back to leave a few pecks on his bottom lip, you catch his lips into a proper kiss, catching his lip with your teeth. The whine he lets out goes straight down, causing you to clench on air.

  After a few moments, he finally pulls back from you, chest heaving, and strokes your head. Humming in thought, you get up and pull his hand to follow after you to your room. You lead him to sit on your bed, while you stand in the middle of your room, with a hip cocked out to the side, as you eye each other with a hunger in your eyes. Running his tongue over his lips, he decides to speak, “Are you going to do something, or are we just going to stare at each other all day?”, “Depends. Are you going to be good for me?”, Seeing him vigorously nod his head, you continue “Good. This is how it’s going to work. I’ll ask you questions about the names of body parts, if you get them right, I’ll undress. Get them wrong, and I stay dressed. If you’re really good, I might even let you touch. Got it?” , “Yes ma’am,” He replies, now sitting forward on the edge of the bed, leaning his hands on his knees.

  Moments and a few items of clothing later, you were down to your lacy bralette and underwear, nipple piercings glinting through the see-through fabric, in the dim lighting of your room. Hongjoong was leaning back against the head board of the bed- clad in boxers only, after him whining about it being unfair that you were undressed but not him- with a hand poorly covering his covered hard on; while you sat on the foot of your bed, resting on your knees, legs spread enough that your arousal could be seen starting to run down your thighs.

  “Okay baby, here’s the last pieces. Since you’ve been so good for me, I’ll let you touch me once they’re off,” Once the words come out your mouth, Hongjoong jumps up, resting in front of you on his knees as well. Reaching your hands down, you cup your breasts, slightly teasing your nipples through the fabric. “M-mammary glands?” He hesitantly questions, before speaking with more confidence, “Most people call them breasts, or tits,” he finishes, face lighting up at you slowly taking the bralette off.

  Quickly pushing your hands away, he reaches around your back to pull your chest closer to his. Thumbing your nipples, he gently pulls on the metal barbell, relishing in the moan that leaves your lips. Clearing his throat, he begins “These are nipples. Fuck, I didn’t expect you to have piercings, you’re so fucking hot,” he finishes before leaning down to wrap his lips around your nipple, other hand gently pulling on the other. Letting out a whine as his teeth graze your nipple, you run your hand through his hair, feeling your resolve slip the more attention he gives you.

  Opening his eyes to peer up at you, he detaches from you before pushing you onto your back, and straddles your thigh, his leg against your hot core. Grabbing his face, you bring him into a kiss, sucking on his tongue while your hips move to grind on his leg. Swallowing your moans, he pulls back, hand resting on your neck to keep you from following him, “Sweet girl, you aren’t done helping me, are you?,” Watching as you dumbly shake your head with blown out eyes, he chuckles “I’ve barely touched you and your this fucked out? Poor thing. Maybe if you’re good I’ll let you come on my cock,” You let out a groan, not expecting him to sound this good while saying dirty things to you.

  Rutting against his legs, you beg for him to touch you, and you quiet down once he places his hand over your core. “Right here? You want me to touch your little pussy?” He mockingly asks, smiling at the gasp that leaves your lips. He tears the flimsy material off your body, and spreads your thighs, sitting back to get a better view of you. “What do you want me to do, little one?”, “Please just fuck me, I need your cock,” You plead, hips raising up to search for friction.

  He looks at you for a brief second, as if he were debating saying something, but chooses not to as he takes his remaining clothing off, his member slapping up against his lower stomach. Saliva fills your mouth as you realize how much you want to taste his leaking shaft, but you push that thought to the side as you whine for him to hurry.

  “You don’t want me to prep you baby? You seem so small, and I don’t want to hurt you,” He starts before you cut him off “Please just fuck me, I know I’m wet enough for you. Just really need your cock to split me open,”. With your final plead, he grabs his length, pushing into you with a groan. You moan out from feeling the delicious burn of his cock stretching you open. As he bottoms out, you feel his cock twitch in you, clenching around him, and you reach forward to pull him down to kiss you.

  Feeling you relax, he starts to pull out slowly, just to thrust back in with enough power to make you breathless. Leaning back up onto his heels, he increases his pace, one hand snaking down to rub your clit, the other being pulled by you to wrap around your throat. With the change of his angle, his cock hitting your sweet spot, you let out a loud whine, which makes him in turn thrusts faster into you while grasping the sides of your neck enough for you to see stars.

  “Fuck baby I’m so close, be a good girl and come for me. Let go for me,” He huffs out, sweat on his brow, somehow making him look even hotter than what he already was. The knot in your stomach felt different that it had any other time you’ve came, and although you were sensitive, you were curious to see how this would make you feel. Grinding your hips up, you didn’t know if you were trying to chase this high or get away from Hongjoong’s stimulation.

  “Stop running from me baby, c’mon, take what I have to give you,” the blue haired man says, his hips going at an even faster pace, his thumb following suit. Just as you feel him twitch inside of you before releasing, he slaps your clit- you cry out at the feeling, the knot in your stomach erupting, and your vision going white. Breathing unevenly, you come back to, seeing Hongjoong’s form looking down at your shaking body, giving you a tired, blinding smile. “You with me sweetheart? You did so well,” He says as he helps you sit up to sip the water bottle that was on your nightstand.

  After calming down, you finally look down, noticing that not only was Hongjoong’s lower half soaked, but so was your bed sheets. “Holy shit Hongjoong, you made me squirt,” you exclaim out in shock, “It was really hot, you’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?” He retorts before laying down next to you, wrapping his arm around you. “Like I’m the only one?” You huff out a laugh, “What happened to you needing help with English? You’re definitely a lot better than what you claimed you were,”, “Hey I needed some type of excuse to get to talk to you, alright?”, he explains as he presses a kiss to your forehead. 

#hongjoong #hongjoong smut #ateez #ateez smut #requested smut #kpop smut #switch hongjoong

[master-sass-blast]

Winter Stay-cation.

*insert pithy quip here*

Summary: A massive squall hits New York City. The snow, combined with a deep freeze, brings the city that never sleeps to a standstill once the police issue travel bans. Fortunately, you and Piotr know how to keep yourselves entertained during your impromptu stay-cation.

Pairing(s): Piotr Rasputin x Reader, Nathan Summers x Wade Wilson, and Ellie Phimister x Yukio.

Rating: G for fluff.

Word Count: 3.4k.

Set after “It’s Truly Magical.”

A/N: The movie quote from Day Five is from Alfred Hitchcock’s “Rear Window.”

Taglist:  @marvel-is-perfection, @chromecutie, @girl-obsessed-with-things, @super-darkcloudstudent, @dandyqueen, @leo-writer

“—continuing into the middle of next week, if not longer. Expect heavy snowfall and temperatures below freezing, with windchill taking things below zero over the weekend.”

“Good grief.” You shake your head as you watch the weather report on the morning news. “It doesn’t get that cold when I fly full speed.”

Piotr, your husband, hands you a cup of coffee and shrugs. “January is ugly month.”

You smirk into your mug. “Bet this doesn’t compare to Siberian winters.”

“Not really,” he admits with a chuckle.

“The Chief of New York City’s Fire Department has issued a statement reminding residents to be careful when using their fireplaces and to monitor children and pets.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you quip, “Don’t use fireworks as kindling, we got it.”

Piotr snorts.

“In addition, the Police Department has issued a travel advisory in light of the predicted precipitation and sub-zero temperatures. All none-essential travel is restricted until the cold snap passes.”

“Groovy. Tell that to half the city.”

Piotr grins, shakes his head again, then turns the TV off. “Looks like we will have to keep ourselves occupied here this week.”

You cast a disparaging glance outside –where the snow is already up to Piotr’s knees—then say, “Like we were going anywhere else.”

 ***

 Day One

 There’s an upside to when the “deep freeze” hits. It’s already winter break, meaning there’s no coordinating classes, figuring out how to pick up students that don’t live at the mansion, or having to get up at the balls-ugly hours of the early morning in the stupid, frigid cold.

The two of you wake up at your leisure, around nine o’clock. You laze around in bed for a bit, snuggling and chatting and smooching, then head downstairs for breakfast. You wind up setting up shop at the dining room table, catching up on grading and filling out end of the semester report cards.

“Can you check these for me?” Piotr asks, handing you a stack of essays from his art classes. “I already made content-based marks; I am just not sure about English grammar.”

“Fun fact: most native English speakers aren’t sure about their grammar, either,” you joke with a smirk.

Piotr snorts, then checks his computer clock before standing. “Is about lunchtime. I was thinking soup and sandwiches?”

You nod. “Sounds tasty.”

“Would you like anything in particular?”

“Surprise me.” You make a contented hum when Piotr leans over the table to kiss you, then smile as you watch him head to the kitchen.

You really are the world’s luckiest woman (a sentiment you feel even more keenly when he comes back with a fresh cup of hot cider for you).

 ***

 Day Two

 “We should clean.”

The two of you are sitting on the couch. Your laptops sit on the coffee table, displaying the completed efforts of uploading grades to the online gradebook that the school uses. Two mugs that once contained coffee sit next to either laptop.

You look up at Piotr. You’re tucked against his side, head leaning on his shoulder while his fingers trace designs on the sleeve of your sweater (which is technically his sweater, but that’s neither here nor there). “Huh?”

“We should clean,” he repeats as he scrubs at his face with his free hand. “House could use it.”

You crane your neck to look over his shoulder. “We don’t really have that many dirty dishes.”

Piotr snorts, then raises an eyebrow at you. “When was last time we vacuumed? Or deep cleaned bathrooms? Or washed windows?”

“We can see out the windows just fine!”

Piotr grins and shakes his head. He stands, holding his hand out to you. “Come on, myshka. Clean home, clean mind.”

“I’ll have you know that my mind is nothing but dirty, and I’m offended that you would dare insinuate otherwise.”

Piotr laughs and helps you up. “We can start upstairs and work our way down.”

 ***

 Cleaning with Piotr isn’t so bad. He carries his fair share of the workload, does things to their proper doneness, and is a firm supporter of blasting tunes while cleaning.

“Take! Me! On!” You bounce up and down in time with the beat while you clean the sliding glass doors in your bedroom that lead out to the balcony. “I’ll… be… gone! In a day or two!”

Behind you, Piotr laughs. He’s hauling out a trashbag from the bathroom –no doubt filled with the sheer amount of crumpled paper towels it takes to get the place sanitary again. “I see you are enjoying yourself.”

“Absolutely not. I’m suffering endlessly. I’m going to die any minute now.” And then, to prove you point, you flop to the floor dramatically (taking care to use your powers to cushion your landing).

Piotr lets out a choked gasp, then clutches at his chest. “You keep scared me!”

You look up at him and laugh. “You know I can catch myself! You’ve seen me do that before!”

“Changes nothing!” He lets out a ragged breath, hand still pressed over his heart. “I could have heart attack.”

You giggle, then lift yourself off the floor with a swirl of wind. You land nimbly on your toes before him and wrap your arms around his waist. “Aw, now who’s being dramatic?”

“I fail to see how concern for your well-being is dramatic!”

You suppress a grin, opting to pop up on the balls of your feet and kiss him instead. “I’m very sorry I scared you, baby.”

“Is okay.” He kisses you gently, then gazes down at you with a rueful smile on his lips. “What am I going to do with you, myshka?”

“Dance with me?” You flash him an impish smile, then start bouncing in time to the music again.

Piotr chuckles, then takes your hands in his and bops along with you.

The two of you dance around the room –well, as much as what you’re doing can be called dancing. You sing the lyrics of the song to each other, not sticking to any particular key or tempo.

You laugh when Piotr lifts you into his arms, bridal style, then squeal in delight when he spins the two of you around.

It’s perfect.

 ***

 Day Three

 You wake up to the sound of Piotr’s phone chirping –because, even on vacation, he still keeps a daily morning alarm.

He groans as he comes to, then laughs when you roll over him and shut off his alarm for him. “Well, good morning to you, too.”

You set his phone back on his nightstand, then straddle his hips and plant your hands against his brawny chest. “You’re not making me clean today.”

Piotr smirks up at you, bushy eyebrow raising in challenge. “Oh?”

“We’re spending today in this bed,” you continue. “Just you” –you tap his chest—“and me, and as few clothes as possible. Sound good?”

He pretends to mull it over, even has he takes off the shirt he’d been sleeping in. “Are we allowed bathroom and meal breaks?”

“I’ll allow it.”

“Ah, very generous. Thank you, benevolent myshka.”

“You’re very welcome.” You giggle when he grins –then let out a delighted yelp when he rolls suddenly, pinning you between him and the bed. You sigh as he kisses you, eyes fluttering shut. You arms wind around his neck, holding him against you while his hands smooth down your body.

 ***

 Day Four

 Cabin fever starts setting in between the third and fourth day. There’s only so many chores you can do, only so many papers you can grade (and you’re out of papers to grade, which doesn’t help your case), only so much sex you can have before you’re gonna start losing your mind.

Fortunately, Piotr is well-attuned to you and your mental states –meaning he notices that you’re getting twitchy before you dip into pyromania to keep yourself entertained.

“We should do something fun today,” he says during breakfast. He spreads some sour cream over his plate of blinis, then adds cottage cheese and sausage meat. “Perhaps play some video games. Ellie has been pestering me to play some multi-people games with her and Yukio.”

“Could be fun,” you say before stuffing your mouth full with Nutella-covered blini. You swallow, then ask, “What did she want to play?”

“Ah… she had two. I think… Falling Guys and Among Us?”

A slow, wicked grin stretches across your place. Fuck yeah. “Let her know we’re in.”

 ***

 Piotr, unfortunately, turns out to be none too good at Fall Guys.

“No!” He wails, then flops back against the couch when he gets thrown off a platform and into the slime. “I could not run away!”

“You have to anticipate the enemy’s movements,” Ellie says over Discord. She’s already qualified and is spectating you and Yukio. “Predict their strategy, then counter.”

“I think it is less strategy and more ‘giant hands do not play nice with tiny controller,’” Piotr grumbles good-naturedly.

“Or maybe you got your butt kicked like a scrub,” Ellie fires back.

“I never contested that,” Piotr chuckles.

“Alright,” you say, eyes glued on your pink and yellow striped player. “I’m almost there, there’s plenty of slots left –no, you fucking pigeon! Let me go!”

“Language,” Piotr murmurs between bouts of laughter.

“It’s always a pigeon!” Ellie groans. “Fucking skyrats.”

“Language, NTW.”

You qualify for the next round (no thanks to the damn pigeon, who qualifies, too). Egg Scramble is next, and you wind up facing off against Ellie and Yukio for the win.

“Damn it!” There’s the sound of something hitting the floor –most likely Ellie throwing her controller—when she and Yukio get booted out. “Yellow always loses!”

“Is that it?” you ask while the loading screen plays. “Are we at the final round yet?”

“There’ll be one more,” Yukio says. “To finish whittling down the competitors.”

Sure enough, there’s a round of Tip-Toe –which you get through by the skin of your teeth—and then you and eight other players are sent to the finale.

“Okay, Hex-A-Gone. You’ll want to just hop from tile to tile,” Ellie advises you while the level loads. “It makes the tiles last longer.”

“Don’t be afraid to drop a couple levels at first,” Yukio adds. “You can carve out one of the lower levels, meaning anyone that falls above you will have further to go and will be more likely to get out.”

“I appreciate it, but don’t expect any miracles,” you say, laughing self-deprecatingly.

Piotr kisses the top of your head. “You can do this, myshka.”

You follow the girls’ advice; you let yourself drop down two levels, then start hopping from tile to tile to start carving out the platform.

“One guy’s already out!” Ellie announces. “You’ve got this!”

“Shit! I fell!”

“That’s okay,” Yukio reassures you. “Find a decent mass of tiles and hop, don’t run. Make them last.”

“The pigeon grabbed another player,” Piotr marvels, shaking his head.

“Yeah, well, they both died, so fat lot of good it did them,” Ellie mutters.

You keep going, bounce from brightly colored hexagon to brightly colored hexagon.

“Only four left!” Ellie lets out a whoop. “Holy shit, you’re gonna make it!”

“Don’t jinx me!” you laugh as you dodge another player’s attempt to grab you. “Don’t jinx me!”

“Three left –two! It’s just you and one other guy!”

“You’ve got this, Y/N!” Yukio cheers.

You dive for a clump of tiles –and miss. “No!” You groan, then laugh as your character plummets into the pink slime. “Damn. I’m never going to do that good ever again.”

Piotr wraps an arm around your shoulders in a conciliatory hug. “You did wonderful job, myshka.”

“He’s right. That was really good. The winner fell a few seconds after you, so it was basically a coin toss as to who was gonna get the crown,” Ellie says while the winner’s animation plays on screen.

“Yeah! Great job!” Yukio congratulates you.

“Wanna do another round?” Ellie asks as she flicks between skins and accessories for her avatar.

Yukio laughs lightly. “Baby, we were going to get lunch.”

“Oh, right.”

“Perhaps we can try other game after lunch,” Piotr suggests. “‘Fall Guys’ is okay, but makes me too dizzy.”

“Yeah, sure. Text me when you guys are done eating.”

***

 Among Us doesn’t go much better for Piotr, if only because he doesn’t adhere to the strategy of the game. He does his tasks without fail –which usually leaves him alone, and thus a prime target for killing or pinning a murder on. He’s also a terrible liar, which makes it easy to tell when he is the impostor.

You laugh as Piotr’s little red spaceman goes floating into space. “I honestly feel bad.”

“I don’t,” Wade says (he and Nate hopped on the Discord call when Yukio sent them an invite). “Pay for some acting classes, Chrome Dome! Give us a challenge, at least.”

Piotr starts grumbling in Russian, but it gets cut off when the round starts up again.

(You all still wind up losing because Nate’s the other impostor and racks up bodies like nobody’s business.)

“I’m still waiting for when Ellie and Dad get the impostor role together,” you comment as the defeat screen flashes on your laptop screen.

“What, so we all die in five minutes?” Wade grumbles. “So we can suffer the agony of betrayal and not honoring trust again?”

“It’s just a game, Wade,” Nate sighs. “And I apologized already.”

“Is our relationship ‘just a game’ to you, Natey? I gave you an alibi –and then you shanked me in the shower like rejected prison bitch!”

“Language, Wade,” your husband pipes up, voice world-weary. “Please.”

You all start another round once Wade calms down –which, admittedly, takes a while and a great deal of coaxing from Nathan. You grin when you see that you’re an impostor alongside Yukio –then giggle to yourself when a plan pops into your mind.

You start stalking Piotr around the map. You fake doing tasks alongside him, acting as his shadow as he treks around the map. On the corner of your screen, you watch your kill timer wind down, then wait for the right moment once it runs out, and—

Downstairs, in his art studio, your husband lets out an indignant scream when your character murders his.

You fall back onto the bed and cackle.

 ***

 Day Five

 The squall rages on outside. The world is practically buried in snow. It’s a sea of white outside your bedroom windows, blinding and sterile.

You peer at the swaths of snow blanketing every inch of ground, every tree branch, and every shrub, then nestle further under the blankets. “Ugh. I don’t even want to get out of bed today.”

Piotr chuckles, then wraps an arm around your waist. “How come?”

“Have you seen what it’s like outside? It’s disgusting!”

“I thought you liked snow.”

“I do. That’s how you know it’s bad.” You sigh as you eye the fat, fluffy flakes falling from the sky. “I wish I could, like, go outside. Go to a store or something. Leave the house.”

“Is not safe to drive yet.”

“I know, I know.” You sigh. “Is it bad that I miss the color green?”

“Nyet. Is normal.”

You smile, just a little, when Piotr kisses the back of your head. You roll over to face him. “Can we build a blanket fort today?”

He raises an eyebrow. “What… here? In bedroom?”

“Yeah. We can make it look all pretty, and snuggle in bed, and watch movies, and have sex…”

“Bozhe ty moi.” Piotr snorts, then takes a moment to study your face, your eyes. “You really want blanket fort?”

“Kind of, yeah. I just… I want something new to look at.”

The corner of his mouth turns up in a soft smile. He presses his lips against your forehead. “Alright, myshka. Let’s make fort.”

***

 “When a man and a woman see each other and like each other, they ought to come together. Wham. Like a couple of taxis on Broadway.”

You let out a content, relaxed sigh, then wriggle closer to Piotr.

The fort, admittedly, is simple –but you don’t mind. While you were taking a shower, Piotr assembled the whole thing, just to give you a little surprise.

He’d brought up a couple floor lamps from the main floor, then clipped some fairy lights to them before draping the largest quilt in the house over top to make the room. He’d pinned some throw blankets to either side of the quilt to make the sides, then made the bed and assembled the pillows so the two of you could have a nice, cozy, comfy den to watch movies in.

The recurring, delighted thought of ‘he made it for me; he made it for me because he knew I wanted one’ loops around in your brain like a bumblebee drunk on fermented crab apples. You grin, then loop your arms around Piotr’s neck and kiss his cheek.

He grins, cheeks flushing ever so slightly. “What was that for?”

“You made me a blanket fort.”

“You asked for one.”

“Yeah, but you made it for me. You could’ve just waited until we could both work on it.”

He shrugs, lips curving into a soft, pleased smile. “I wanted to see look on face. You were very happy.”

“Correction: I am very happy.” You kiss the tip of his nose, then his lips. “I love you, Piotr.”

“And I love you, Y/N.”

 ***

 Day Six

 You know it’s bad when you wake up before Piotr.

You look over at your husband, who’s still slumbering away next to you –and sawing some logs, no less—then out at the winter hellscape outside, and decide there’s only one thing for it.

You’re channeling your inner Great British Bake Off contestant and demolishing the kitchen.

***

 Piotr comes downstairs around ten in the morning –which is a miraculous amount of sleep in time for him—but by then, the damage has already been done.

There’s a cake cooling on the counter (you’d found a box of cake mix in the back of the pantry and decided to use it as a warm-up. The mixer is working overtime on a double batch of sugar cookies –plus there’s already chocolate chip cookie dough chilling in the fridge.

You look up from the cookbook you’d been perusing –you were thinking pie next—and flash your husband a slightly sheepish grin as he gapes at the kitchen. “Uh… good morning?”

“Myshka…”

“I made cake.”

“I can see that.” Piotr drops his heads into his hands and makes a noise somewhere between a groan and a laugh. “Why?”

“Because being trapped inside is stressing me out and I want to cope by eating my weight in desserts.”

Piotr sighs, then lifts his head. He eyes the mixer, then the increasingly sheepish expression on your face. “How much is that?”

“In the bowl or in the fridge?”

“Bozhe ty moi.”

“Look, the way I see it, we can share—”

“You have that much correct. We do not need five million cookies.”

“Excuse you, I’m only making three million. Also, do you know where the lard is?”

Piotr’s face scrunches up. “Lard? Why—”

“I wanna make pie.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “We already have cake. And goodness knows how many kinds of cookies.”

“But those aren’t pie.” You smile impishly at him. “Plus, like, pie has fruit, so it’s good for you. You like fruit. Think about how good it’ll be to eat something with fruit after all the cake, and the cookies…”

“Or I could just eat fruit.” He sighs, resigned and slightly frustrated, when you bat your eyelashes at him. “I will check pantry.”

***

 Day Seven

 “—as of today, authorities are lifting the ban on nonessential travel—”

“Yes!” You launch yourself into the air, twirling around and pumping your fists before landing lightly on the couch once more. “Finally!”

Piotr laughs and shakes his head. “What, is staying inside with me so terrible?”

“Absolutely not.” You crawl across the couch and into his lap, then give him a loud smooch. “I have enjoyed every single day of your company. However, you’ve got about fifteen minutes before I start repainting the walls out of sheer boredom.”

Piotr bursts into raucous guffaws. He puts a hand over his eyes, shoulders and stomach shaking with each laugh. He sighs, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes as minute giggles slip past his lips. “Well, we do need to restock on food. And flour and butter, since someone decided to open bakery yesterday.”

You pointedly ignore the pies and full cookie jar sitting on the kitchen counter. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He snorts, then pats your thigh. “Get dressed, myshka. We will go shopping.”

“Fuck yeah!” You zip up the stairs.

Downstairs, you can hear Piotr start laughing again.

#sass writes #piotr rasputin x reader #colossus x reader #nathan summers x wade wilson #negasonic teenage warhead x yukio #heavy on the fluff #because this year has been a shitload of angst #and quite frankly im done with it #deadpool fanfiction #x men fanfiction

[0ffgun]

Alright so!! I got some requests from people for me to make a post with tips on how I self-study my languages, so here we are! It’s not perfect and everyone studies differently, but I hope some of these tips can help you out.

Personally I study Korean & Thai so this list is aimed at those but a lot of the study tips are pretty general and can be applied to whatever language you’re learning. 

I’m an energetic puppy in human form - I simply CANNOT sit still and study for longer than 20 minutes before getting insanely restless and distracted, so I tend to only actually sit down and actively study once a week. If you’re expecting something clever and insightful this is absolutely the opposite of that... I basically trick myself into learning! So here is my silly little guide, let’s go!

General Tips:

★ Get ridiculous with sticky notes. Seriously, do it. If you’re just starting out and don’t know the words for all of those household objects then go ahead and scribble them down on those post its and stick them EVERYWHERE. It might drive your family members/roommates crazy but hey... you’re doing it for a good cause, right?

★ Don’t rely on romanization too much - if your language has its own writing system, focus on that using as much as you can. Romanization seems helpful but in the long run you’ll rely on it too much. It’s better to get familiar with the native writing system asap!

★ Pick out a word/phrase of the day and write it somewhere you’ll see it often. I have a whiteboard in my room that I’ll scribble a few phrases onto and then every time I walk past it, I’ll say them. Or if I’m not gonna be home all day then I write something on my wrist and glance at it throughout the day! This one is the most fun because when people see it they’re like “ooh that looks pretty!” or “ooh does it mean something deep and profound?” when in reality you have the phrase I like cheese written on your arm and it never stops being entertaining. Bonus points if someone native to that language reads it and looks at you like you’re crazy.

★ Say the words in silly voices. It sounds weird but if you’re sitting there repeating words (like the word banana, for example) from an app in a monotone voice you’re definitely less likely to remember it than if you’re yelling out “BANANA!!” in an opera voice or squeaking out “b an a n a” dramatically as you let go of Jack’s hand and let him sink into the ocean. 

★ Don’t isolate vocabulary. Learning new words is great, but it’s useless and you’re more likely to forget it if you don’t learn to use it in a sentence. 

★ Keep a diary! One of the absolute best ways to practice your writing and improve your skills is to just jot down a few things every now and then. It’ll be rusty and you won’t have much to say at first and will definitely keep needing that dictionary every 2 seconds, but after a few weeks you’ll really notice the difference. Buy pretty pens and stickers to motivate yourself to write in it! It’s also fun to do this around people who can’t speak it as they’ll look at it in awe and you can show off when in actual fact your writing is usually a clumsy scribbled “today I snacks eat and go sleep” but hey what they don’t know can’t hurt and it’s always fun to look like a genius.

★ Talk to your pets in that language. They’re not going to judge you, they actually don’t even care what you say as long as you say it in that entertaining pet voice. I don’t have any friends that speak Korean or Thai so the majority of my speaking practice is hurled at my dog. If you don’t have a pet, then plants or stuffed animals work perfectly too!

★ Listen to language podcasts while you do household chores, heck if you’ve gotta do something boring, might as well yell foreign words while you do it!

★ Change your phone settings to your target language. That way you’re literally forcing yourself to use it, and it becomes second nature and you pick up key words so quickly. Only do it if you know how to get back into your settings and change it back if you have to... or else you’re stuck and lost. 

★ Listen to music and sing a lot. Just scream those lyrics! A little off-key screeching never hurt anybody!

★ Get comfortable with numbers. They’re something that is dominant in ALL languages and you’re going to use them on a daily basis. Start with learning how to count to ten and get comfortable with it, and then go higher. Once you’re used to numbers individually, make it harder. I used to get my mum to write out 10 random numbers between 1 to 10,000 in the morning and I would translate them, and then I would do the same for myself in the evening. After a while you get quicker at them and before you know it you don’t have to awkwardly translate them in your head anymore, the numbers are just there ready in your brain.

★ Don’t only watch dramas! Watch more natural stuff too - variety shows, vlogs, instagram lives... anything where people are just chatting like they normally would do. That way you’re subconsciously learning more casual speech patterns and casual language too!

★ Don’t just study at home! Always make sure you have a dictionary handy (like on your phone, for example!) and keep your brain busy while you’re out and about. Buying some groceries? Try to name everything in the fruit and vegetable aisles and if you don’t know the name of something, look it up! You’re more likely to remember vocab this way as your brain has a situation to associate it to.

★ Be mean and make yourself work for things you normally do - check your horoscope on a regular basis? Read it in your new language instead! Want to check out the weather forecast? Do it the hard way.

★ Don’t feel like studying? Not in the mood? Then don’t do it! Instead put on your favourite show in your study language of choice. Not every study session has to be a hard one. Just relax and watch a foreign movie! You have no idea how much your brain picks up without you even noticing, chilling out and watching a drama absolutely counts as studying. Don’t force yourself to study if you’re not feeling it, you’re more likely to learn if you’re having a good time.

Advanced Tips:

★ Get keyboard stickers - if your new language has a different alphabet and you use your laptop to study it a lot then you’re definitely gonna need these! You can buy them SUPER cheap on ebay!

★ Change the language on your Netflix account and get ready to binge watch your faves! If you change your profile language to the one that you’re studying, you’ll notice that a lot of the shows available will now show subtitles in that language too. If you’re pretty advanced then now is probably the time to drop your native subs and start watching with the original subtitles in the original language.. good luck! 

★ Play Pokemon. When the latest Pokemon games started coming out with Korean language options I JUMPED at the chance - what better way to study than to just laze around playing video games? This is great for any other kinds of games you can snatch up in your target language too.

★ Read a favourite book in your new language. A common one is Harry Potter! It’s pretty much available in every language at this point and it’s a story you probably already know, which means you never get too lost because you know the plot already.

Resources:

Here are a bunch of apps and things that I use for studying that I find super helpful (and all of these are free!)

Drops (for Thai and Korean - available in both the apple store and the google play store)  - I use this app every single day without fail. It’s brilliant for expanding your vocabulary (there are TONS of languages available on there too!) HOWEVER: It only lets you study for 5 minutes and then you have to wait around 9-ish hours before you gain another 5 minutes to work with unless you want to pay for more. But honestly? That’s a good thing. You only need 5 minutes of vocab study before your brain wants to dissolve into mush anyway. I get up, do my morning stuff (usually just involves rolling around and blinking in confusion before grabbing a coffee) and then sit and do 5 minutes of drops, and then by the evening my 5 minutes have replenished and I do it again. Rinse and repeat, and you’ll be learning more words in a week than you even realise!

Duolingo (I use this for Korean, there is currently no Thai option) - This app is fantastic. I don’t recommend it for beginners as it should be used as more of an aid alongside your natural studies, rather than as a study resource itself. This app expects you to already know the basics so I’d dig into this one once you’re starting to get a little comfortable with your language!

Naver Dictionary (for Korean) - I use this every single day! Not only does it help me when I need to find a certain word, it also gives me lists of example sentences which is PERFECT and super helpful when I’m trying to memorize words!  And for Thai I use Thai-English Dictionary (I can only find it in the Apple store sadly) and that’s incredibly handy too, I wouldn’t be able to cope without it! I also use this website as a Thai dictionary when I’m not on my iPad!

Talk To Me In Korean (for Korean) - This has been a core element to my Korean studies. They have tons of lessons available on their website, they do regular YouTube videos (usually only 5-10 mins long, perfect for just a mini casual study session!) and they also sell textbooks and do podcasts too. If you learn best from textbooks then these are by far my favourite ones I’ve found, give them a try! They’re not too pricey.

Lingodeer (for Korean) - It’s cute, it’s friendly and it’s helpful!! I learned a bunch of new phrases using this one and it’s perfect for casual study!

Memrise (for Korean) - Fantastic if you’re a beginner! There are tons of languages available on here too. Although, there are only 3 levels in Korean so I got through this one pretty fast. 

Eggbun (for Korean) - An app that encourages you to learn using a texting format! I haven’t really used it much but I have friends that have said it’s really useful!

Ling (for Thai and Korean) - This one was pretty good, once again though I wouldn’t use it if you’re a beginner, it’s probably a lot more helpful if you know the basics before you attempt this one! I’ve only used it for Thai but there’s a Korean option you could try checking it out!

Mondly (for Thai and Korean) - This app is cheeky and it wants your money. You get a bunch of free lessons to start with which are GREAT but that’s it. Then it reduces you to one free lesson a day but honestly? Still useful so go ahead and use it. They also have speaking practice available too!

Thai2English (for Thai) - This website is an absolute LIFESAVER!! If I’m ever browsing and come across a sentence that just throws me, I simply copy and paste and this legend of a website just breaks it down for me word for word.

Extra Korean links:

Children’s books in Korean

Learning Korean through fairytales - a textbook used in Korea for children who are learning to read, it’s helpful as a Korean language learner too! You get a little story and then it’ll ask you questions about what you just read. 

TOPIK previous exams - these are so good for practice and if you want to get a general idea of what academic level your Korean skills are at. 

Learning to type in Hangul - this one was fun and I now type Korean pretty comfortably on my laptop so if you know you’re gonna be typing a lot, I recommend this program!

#the way I learn languages is so weird I am so SORRY #I kinda just implement my language into my daily life and it works perfectly for me... I hope this is helpful to at least ONE person djgsjk #thai resources are sadly not that common but I'll add more if I find them! #language studies