#I barely clean my own...

[mrfoox]

The older I get, the more I just realize that I am my mom

#miranda talking shit #No I'm not she's amazing and badass I could never but.... #Her in my caring ways. I just act more and more like a mom as I grow #Like her... I see a wounded. Lonely and sad person/creature and I am already trying to adopt it #It's a bit of a problem when I consider how I work... Romantically. If I compare her and dad's relationship... Ummm #I always say I don't want to end up in that kinda relationship but then I'm also on the sideline falling for everyone with some kind of #Problems ™. Last crush? Mommy issues deep ones among other things. #The one before that? Deppressed weed addict. The one before that? Um.... #Well we were teens so shan't say but definitely big... Troubles in family #I guess the wounded seek the wounded and whatever but like... Yeah #At one hand it's scary bc my mom just married the man with generational daddy issues #But also I struggle to se myself ever like someone who don't have some sort of... Either trauma or mental problems. #Bc I... Know people without it struggle so hard to understand and I need to be understood #I at least never think I can “fix” those people. It's never been about that for me... More like... Ah you can understand me in this pain? #But I am definitely dangerous for people who look for motherly care bc I'm literally just... #Ok im holding u.... Only thing saving me is that my energy meter is too low to ever mommy someone with practical things #I'll get you a glas of water and tie your shoes occasionally but bitch I ain't cleaning your messes #I barely clean my own... #At one hand i hate being this way bc... I don't have kids like why would I need to nurture. But then someone compares me to an mother and #I'm crying. To me being compared to an mom is like them saying they know I love them unconditionally. They are saying they see I care #I know it's meant as an joke or half insult but each time I'm like (: yeah... Good that my love is reaching you

[fg083nrt]

Where is that first picture if hidan from, on the cat post

It's from Naruto Shippuden: Ultimate Ninja Storm Revolution!

This is the cutscene where Hidan gets recruited after his defeat in a fight between Hidan vs Kakuzu and Orochimaru. We basically get to see a slightly younger version of Hidan with his urchin hair.

I don't know if you have the game, but their first fight had some funny dialogue.

Kakuzu just teases him while Hidan is like losing it.

Also this is delusion and most likely not intentional, but at the end, Hidan says something along the lines of Kakuzu's favourite proverb:

#kakuhida #kakuzu #hidan #brainworms #hidan has like 2 recruitment versions and I like both but I find that bc I got to PLAY this one and Hidan's outfit is more canon-compliant #instead of JEANS sdghjksdgk I go for this one in my head #to each their own #but also it makes sense for him to have his chest bare since it's more practical and easier to clean up #he's princessy I doubt he'd like his leather jacket getting ruined #but again that's just me!

[stardial]

it’s been an incredibly tumultuous last one and a half months for me emotionally, but i think i’m finally starting to recover properly and it feels really nice

#the first like. week and a half of the year was amazing becuase i got to spend it with anethia <3 and then rama and sunday <3 #but like as soon as i got back to school one of my friends died and that put me in such a severe downward spiral #and there was like a month there where i just like. could barely function #and for a while it just felt like i was barely barely clinging onto life at all and idk if i’d been able to make it without rama (<333) #but then when i felt like i’d rly hit my own personal rock bottom i just like. suddenly got a grip on myself? #and now i’ve been taking care of myself and i’ve been doing my hobbies and i’ve been.. happier #and it feels so good. instead of being anxious abt everything i’ve been trusting people #instead of rotting away i’ve been doing things! sewing and cleaning and writing etc #it feels nice <3 #arambles #sorry bit of a personal post but i’ve just rly wanted to get it out there

[ramblingoak]

Does anyone else hate hotels or is that just me?

#i can barely fall asleep in my *own* bed #and i worry nonstop about how clean it is #non of this stuff is mine none of it is familiar #holy fuck I’m tired

[officialkendallroy]

i envy people who's parents aren't mentally ill and poor like that is the worst combination to deal with

#my uni friend is staying the night and im literally so ashamed of how the apartment is looking #bc neither of my parents care anymore how it looks and it leaves me to deal with it #but im also a mess and barely van handle my own room so you know #i asked my mom to clean her bathroom shelf. this one thing. i cleaned everything else. she didn't do it #i don't even want my friend to stay anymore bc im afraid she'll think differently of me #also my parents are both just fighting anymore and im afraid theyll do that too while shes here #and ughhh #anyways im gonna go clean some more 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

[sporesgalaxy]

i shouldve played pokemon violet in spanish....

#on top of being good practice i bet it wouldve kept me more engaged.... #but if i restart now #what if replaying the same stuff makes me disengaged again but in a different way..... #i have not touched the game in months and im not even halfway thru it argh. #i wont touch it today anyways i have to clean a bunch of shit. but still i find time to agonize over inconsequential things #adddna #also to be clear 'im not engaged' doesnt mean its a bad game. it means im a shit ass gamer #i am. NOTABLY. bad at engaging with games the way that youre supposed to. #its a miracle pkmn sun & legends arceus went as well as they did #but alas. the amount of free choice in violet makes my little pea brain confused #legends arceus was my max capacity for open world story driven games i guess. #'dont you own breath of the wild' i sure do. i havent played it in over a year i think. maybe 2! #and girl you KNOW i am even LESS close to halfway thru that one #'hows spore different' theres not a story im just encouraged to fuck around! its like an art program. to me :) #meanwhile in violet and botw i cant draw on things. i cant make a little guy of my own. &i can barely play dress up #im supposed to be entertained by GAME mechanics???? in the VIDEOS GAME??? and not just creative tools and/or linear narrative??? #bull shit . game mechanic of skill is nothing but agony for sydney. the least you could do is give me a good consolation dress up game.

[brainworms-all-night-long]

Literally almost everyone is gonna have a vendetta against Nine since he has all the shards, but because he can pretty much warp reality how he sees fit now, it's not like they have much of a fighting chance

Ough not him becoming a target and an enemy to the whole shatterverse when literally all he wanted was a semblance of a safe home

#sonic prime #referencing to Xtale but like anyone that wants to create a perfect world to their own image does not keep a clean head for long #next time we'll see him hes gonna be drinking chocolate milk from a wine glass while recovering from a mental breakdown #im sorry annon you probably have no clue what the fuck im saying dhjsjs #sorry i barely slept and my brain is just doing its whatver #miles nine prower #nine the fox #annon ask #i need to fucking hug this guy he doesn't deserve this #sonic prime spoilers #sonic prime season 2

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

#the week before last my mom and i decided to spend more time in nature since we've been cooped up inside since like 2020 #we decided to enjoy our garden again #(mostly cause we can't afford to turn on the AC because of bills going up but it was still a nice change in routine) #we cleaned up the patio table and got our folding chairs from storage (things we hadn't properly used in years) #i got an old unused notebook out to write outside and just have a nice chill time #we were combating mosquitoes but it was fine and my dog was really happy to just chill with us on the grass #it was perfect and lovely #... #that lasted exactly 3 days #last tuesday night some fucking asshole jumped my neighbors wall (or our gate idk) and stole our two old ass folding chairs #and wednesday night he came back to get the table he forgot (a table so fucking heavy idk how he managed to get it up the wall/gate) #and as you can imagine... if we can't afford to turn on the ac because the electricity bill is already impossible to pay... #it was a real fucking effort to buy another table #but i fucking REFUSE to go back inside like a fucking puppy with my tail between my legs #we can barely make it to the end of the month #buying something silly like icecream or an extra sweet has us revaluating the entire month's expenses #and we can't even own fucking furniture that we've owned for like 15 years #i'm so fucking tired! #i want to either die or leave this place and honestly dying is more achievable #anyways i just spent almost half the money i had on my bank account #but i bought a small folding table which i will fold up and bring inside every fucking night because not even a gate can keep you safe #i will fucking sit outside and enjoy fucking nature so help me god! #(if the rats/lizards let me lol) #see why i'm so fucking tired all the time?! when you're not dealing with pests you're dealing with human pests #i do thank god and all angels above they didn't try to break in and kill us in the process but my fucking garden furniture!!! #that was too long cause i'm still pissed #and tomorrow is grocery shopping day so i'm depressed again #angel talks #personal

[frayedcircus]

a silly little costume design for the queen of hearts in a zombie apocalypse i made for a theater class a while ago

if i spelled anything wrong then no i didn’t

(some vague lore and design stuff in the tags if you’re interested)

plus some other versions i made bc i’m indecisive:

#it was very fun to do i just made her edgy :) #like the long gloves are royal… but FINGERLESS is edgy….. long skirt is royal….. but a FRONTLESS long skirt is edgy….. #also i gave her platform shoes bc i think the queen of hearts is especially silly when she’s very very short #my notes don’t make it super clear but in this hypothetical edgy reboot the cards are zombies with card designs for some reason #she’s like the ruler(or cause?) of the zombies and controls them by removing their hearts(i’m so clever right) #i didn’t want to be TOO stereotypical and just put her in torn and bloody clothes #because i imagine she’d leave her zombie/card army to do her dirty work #but she’d still relish the power the whole apocalypse gave her and adorn herself in the cleaned bones and stuff #also maybe the heart on her staff is her own… smth to do with removing her own morality or something idk #she’s barely the same character anymore but i had fun<3 #art #digital art #artists on tumblr #character design #queen of hearts #zombie apocalypse #my art

[pumpking64]

.

#Jesus fucking Christ #why do some people just. not see the mess they’re making and acknowledge that it’s their responsibility to clean up after themselves?? #like. you throw your shoes in the entrance exactly where people walk. you let shared loafers stand outside for several hours #you cook the most simple dinner that one time you cook (mind you the other people have equal shares of making food) #and yet you don’t even manage to clean up after neither the cooking NOR taking the food off the table into the fridge so it doesn’t turn bad #you keep on taking the most easy solution that fits you the best without thinking about others. in a space where we all are exhausted #and I’m so done with it for now tbh. how lazy to not care about the bare necessities for others. how rude to admit to it #AND on top of this. you’ll tell stuff about your country that’s *objectively horrifying* and then add on to that that you love your country #it’s just. so many things. are so so so much of what I’d avoid in a person. a few things is fine. no one’s perfect. but damn there’s a limit #SORRY to anyone who’s read this far but I just. had to get it out #this guy is the one I’m working the closest with these two and a half weeks. hes still a kid kind of. I’m not gonna be mean to him #but damn. my patience. is being tested #AHHH I might delete this tbh. I don’t like showing this side of myself. I don’t want to spread this kind of negativity #I’m just so very frustrated. how a human person can come to this place and be here for SO LONG already #and still not have learnt the basics of living and working together #own post #oh. and all the triggering of intrusive thoughts is not helping your case buddy #(which you can’t really know about so it’s kinda fair but also it’s for bad hygiene stuff mostly and that’s. I mean…..)

[thefirstvessel]

Love getting lectured by my stepfather about the kitchen after I share some of what I was cooking with them. 😑

I already tend to avoid using the kitchen bc of how cluttered and messy Mom tends to leave it... and now I feel like I'm getting punished for offering y'all some of my cooking.

#groceries are fucking expensive and i was being nice #i cant wait for rent to drop enough that i can afford an apartment plus my car payments #like- i get that cleanliness is a sysphean task of constantly keeping up... but I can barely handley own mess sometimes #add in having a constantly full sink bc of my moms untreated ADHD and its suddenly much harder to just clean up after myself #im in my 30s with a full time accounting job - why tf can't i afford to live on my own with solo income in this area? #like- the moment I started making enough to actually think about living on my own #I was saddled with sudden car payments that take out about a third of my monthly income bc my old car died #AND down payment for that completely ruined what relocation savings I had #so we had to put our hunting for a studio job on hold... again #im just ... so tired #vessel talk

[bravevolunteer]

what if we kissed on the wiki page for disembowelment

#sometimes i want to google things for michael and i'm like. Should I. #'the scooper only hurts for a moment' not to say i don't fully place my faith in scott cawthon of all people but Is it instant- #and the answer is depending on the organs. obviously. but humans sure can be conscious for a Bit before #blood loss takes em out... so . depends on how fast they Got All That Out and ennard climbed in . #which it's not looking good for michael bc i've always interpreted it as far from a CLEAN removal he still has. for lack of a better #description Pieces of his own organs left just barely hanging on and yeah post ennard they've just merged #with the wires and remnant so much it's barely recognizable as a human being so. with the limited information i'm willing #to look up without ending up on a list as long as the heart/lungs/anything crucially vital Weren't fucked up Instantly there very well #could've been a minute there where he was just. Well. #i don't think much longer the blood loss would happen Quick . and shock. and. whatever the fuck ennard did. #BUT MY POINT IS HE DOESNT HAVE TO INSTANTLY GO UNCONSCIOUS- #what am i doing with this. i don't. I Don't Know- #⁂ ･ﾟ: i was looking for a job‚ and then i found a job‚ and heaven knows i’m miserable now ➛ ooc #body horror tw #gore tw #ask to tag

[neurodivergent-studyblr]

Recent Realizations - How To Keep My Room Clean With Executive Dysfunction:

(A lot of these probably seem kind of obvious, but they helped me, so I figured maybe they would help someone else.

The dirty laundry does not go on top of the basket, or next to the basket. It gets shoved in, all the way. If not, it will fall out, and cause me stress every time I see it, but not enough stress to fix it.

It doesn't matter how the closet looks, as long as the door stays closed. It must be closed at all times, unless I am actively getting something out of the closet.

Every pillow, blanket, sheet, pillow, pillowcase, stuffed animal, or anything else of the sort goes on the bed. I hate making my bed, and I hate sleeping in a made bed, so I pile everything into a large, comfy pile, and that works really well for me.

Opening my window blinds in the morning must be a task on my daily to-do list, or it will not get done, and I will spend the day in darkness, which is bad for the plants on my desk. So, I have "open the blinds" as the first thing on my to-do list.

Listen. I have hyper-empathy. I get emotionally attached to tiny dead plants or weeds that I find on the ground. It happens. Solution? I stick them in the pot of the fake plant on my dresser. I don't know how good an idea this is long-term, but it's worked for me so far.

Speaking of plants. I keep a plastic water bottle on my desk at all times for the purpose of watering my desk plants. Without the combination of that easy access, and my phone reminders, my plants would be dead. When the water bottle is empty, I fill it back up in the sink. Do I always remember to do this? No. Do I remember far more than I would if it wasn't on my desk? Yes.

And that reminds me. My newly discovered golden rule for being somewhat functional: out of sight means out of mind. Granted, sometimes in sight also means out of mind. But being able to see something increases the chances of me thinking about it by 300%. (I made up that number. Just take my word for it.) This means that any work I plan on doing in the foreseeable future needs to be somewhere I can see it.

The dresser drawers should be closed. I hate it when people tell me that. I hate it even more when they have a point. But, it makes the room look neat, and a neat room makes me feel productive, and feeling productive provides the illusion of being productive, and being productive makes the happy chemicals in my brain go off. So, the drawers get closed.

Finally, it literally does not matter how disastrous my desk looks to other people. If the organization makes sense to me, if it makes me feel productive and happy, and if I like working at it, it has succeeded at being a desk. Congratulations, desk.

I was kind of proud of myself for figuring these out, and having a nice-looking room for the first time in a while.

#studyblr #adhd #autistic #actually autistic #actually adhd #neurodivergent #executive dysfunction #organization #autistic studyblr #neurodivergent studyblr #adhd studyblr #nd studyblr #actually neurodivergent #cleaning #cleaning tips #neurodivergent tips #adhd tips #okay so. as a neurodivergent person. writing long bullet lists is so fun to do. #but also. as a neurodivergent person. I can barely read my own post. #so. good luck everyone #study tips #studying tips #high school studyblr

[rosicheeks]

Honeybee: Name something positive you have done for yourself or someone else in the last two weeks.

I’ve been really trying to focus on bettering myself lately.

#starting to clean/organize my room so I can actually sleep and live in there #miss art so much so I’m desperately trying to get a desk area set up #trying to eat better #lol #that one is damn hard when you don’t have your own kitchen my dude #but I’m trying? #I JOGGED yesterday??????? #fucking mindblowing I know #don’t remember the last time I jogged #I went on a long walk with Maya puppy and we jogged a few times #you guys should have seen her smile 😭 #she also met this tiny senior dog named Murphy and she was SO excited and happy afterwards #it was the cutest thing I’ve seen in ages 🥹 #I wish I could say something I did for someone else #and I’ve done small things here and there sure #but when I’m drowning and trying to survive it’s so hard to help other people #like I’m trying to be myself and check in on people and make sure they’re doing good and being there to listen to them vent #but I can barely handle my day #like my sister vented to me the other day (and of course I was actually in a good mood at the start of the call) #and then by the end I was stuck in my depression like I spiraled BAD #so idk I’m trying super hard to focus on myself and get me back to my happy rosie self #so I can help other people #thanks for the ask 🫶 #ask #ask me shit

[momochiiee-reblogs]

Being screamed at for things that aren't my fault seems to be a norm in this house

There's cookware scattered an dirty? Guess who gets blamed for it? The exact one that almost never has spoons for cooking in the first place

I live cleaning the trail after me so they won't have any reason to scream at me, but my brother leaves absolute messes behind him and the screams are for me

Fuck off

#momochiiee mussings #then people ask why it's almost impossible to hear me walking around #I've grown used to avoiding at all costs being noticed and leaving anything that can tell I was through there #when I get up from the table I'm always told to put their dishes in the dishwasher as I am putting mine #then the days I'm not around no one fucking cleans the table after themselves and I am still the one that gets called dirty and messy #my room is a mess YES. but the rest of the house isn't my room and therefore Isn't my living space and I must make sure I do not litter #I clean my own room when I have the spoons for it and refuse for anyone else to do it for me. it's my mess and I must deal with it myself #why do they insist I am to blame for their own mess of the kitchen when I barely have the energy to cook once a month??? #and it's not like they don't entrust other chores to me #but I digress I'm just mad because I've been blamed for the mess my dad and brother did and blamed on me just because I went there #every time I happen to have the energy to cook they complain about my cooking or blame messes on me even if I handwash & put away everything #it would be nice if they spared a fucking word of appreciation every now and then #I'm not asking them to call me endearingly but at least to not spit on any tiny effort I manage to make... or blame me for their mistakes #I'm starting to see how as soon as I am rendered jobless mid December I'll start to get screamed at again more often #and get the I'm a nuisance treatment because I can't afford basic stuff anymore #it's going to be a long year for sure... but I must put my all on the intensive classes so I can score a good job #If I manage... I will finally be able to get out of here and have my own space without any more screams #and without them brushing off my sensory triggers every time I try to explain how certain things and situations get me anxious af

[baka-monarch]

My boss: you work as an usher and have to clean disgusting theaters multiple times a day and deal with people

Me: okay, will I get paid well?

Boss: no, you'll be paid below the livable wage and have the lowest paycheck out of all the positions you can have here

Me: will I ever get a raise?

Boss: no

Me: do I at least get both a 30 and a 15 minute breaks during my shifts since they're all over 8 hours?

Boss: no, you'll always have a 30 but if we're busy we'll need you to not take a fifteen

Boss: also on weekends you'll have to stay an hour longer than normal

Me: am I guaranteed to always get my fifteen on those days?

Boss: no

Me: is there any way to get paid more?

Boss: yes, training to work in a different position so you can work in 2 positions at once, but only managers can decide if you can get double trained

Me: okay.... At least I only work part time so hopefully I won't get too tired when summer comes

Boss: this summer we're having early very cheap movies so we need you to come in an hour early for every shift

Me: will I get paid any more for this at least?

Boss: no

And like- I feel ripped off-

#rambles #busy days with large crowds cause me to have a panick attack and cry by the end of my shift whenever that happens #and now they're having me come in early and consistently deal with a huge crowd #and i get paid barely anything #i get we're technically a 'locally owned' theater #but we're also the only theater within a mile radius #and we get the same amount of customers as the name brand theater i used to work at #like #literally concessions get's paid well over $25 bucks an hour #and they only have like 5 people trained in concessions and won't let anyone else in #there's like 20 ushers and we're all paid under $10 an hour and treated like shit daily #like 7 out of 9 shifts i get covered in trash juice from being the one to deal with the trash #I'm getting mistreated by customers #I'm having anxiety attacks #I'm cleaning 9 giant theaters multiple times a day #I'm moving boxes #I'm helping everyone else at their NON-USHER stations #because they schedule a lot of ushers #so when theaters aren't letting out to make sure there's not a giant group around the stand #they'll send us off to do other people's jobs but it won't be considered as us doing that job so we aren't paid for being “ #'double trained' even though we all lnow how to part food and how to deal with cups and run the cash register and stuff #because of how often our coworkers walk away from their stations #us ushers are paid the least #but like #we're the most important ones there methinks (since we clean everything and help with everything else as well) #why are the people who microwave food paid more than the people who clean 9 theaters over 12 times a day????