#I am extremely drunk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

goldenbituin · 16 days

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Want a glimpse of a weird dream I had last night

It was a game show and the most random people were there

#bituin art #megavolt #quackerjack #darkwing duck #that’s not my neighbor #izaack gauss #thats not my neighbor #I am #I am extremely drunk

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thecolorplaid · 2 years

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New tattoo tomorrow 👀

#i am extremely drunk

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theoffice-quotingmachine · 2 years

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My friend out of absolutely nowhere: cock

Everyone else: *dies of laughter*

#dumb friends #funny #stupid #comedy #i am extremely drunk #i cant type for the life of me #autocorrect being a G rn #holy shit #my friend a hoe(complimentary)

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marlynnofmany · 6 months

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Seeing Faces

It’s rare when we get a shipment to deliver that’s not packaged somehow — either in Earth-standard boxes, another world’s version of shipping crates, or a livestock pen of some kind. Even that bunch of alien trees had been thoroughly wrapped at the bottom. But this collection of machinery parts didn’t have so much as a layer of cling-wrap on it. I guess the owners figured these things were sturdy enough not to need it.

They were probably right. The metal chunks were heavy. I tried to guess what they were made for as Blip and Blop muscled the biggest ones onto a hover sled, clearing the way for Paint and me to gather up the smaller pieces. Captain Sunlight bid the customer farewell and shut the cargo bay door.

“I think these look like vertebrae,” I said to Paint. “Greasy vertebra. Ew. I’m going to need a new shirt.” The offworld engine oil of whatever didn’t seem acidic at least, so that was nice. I sighed about the black smears.

“Strange vertebrae,” Paint said, juggling her own armload of odd shapes that didn’t seem to be rubbing off on her orange scales. Not that I was jealous or anything. “There would need to be a dual spinal cord.” She tapped a claw on one of the holes.

“Hm, yeah. There are probably animals like that,” I said. “Or robots, as the case may be.”

Ahead of us, Captain Sunlight opened the door to the appropriate storage hold, then headed off on captainly business. It was impressive how different a vibe she gave off compared to Paint, for all their physical similarities. Both were little lizardy people, but one strode with her lemon-yellow head held high, every inch the authority figure, while the other was Paint. She somehow bounced when she walked, even when weighted down by unwieldy metal things.

“I’ll bet these stack really well,” Paint said. “They look like they interlock. We could probably build a spinal column without them falling over.”

“We probably could,” I agreed. “But I don’t want to be the one responsible for bending one of the flanges because we wanted to test it out.”

“Hm. Yep yep yep. But I maintain that we could.”

“We could.”

The two of us entered the storage hold to find Blip and Blop racing to see who could unload the sled faster. It’s not that the Frillian twins were overly competitive, but they were twins. They’d apparently hatched at the same time, and had been in a low-key competition to see who was better at life ever since. But they smiled while they did it.

“Done!” Blip declared, setting down a lump of metal big enough for Paint to hide behind. She raised her hands in triumph, fins fluttering.

“Doesn’t count,” Blop said as he put down his own piece. “You didn’t line them up right. Mine are tidier.”

They squabbled about this while Paint and I unloaded our metal chunks nearby. I had to kneel to keep from dropping the things. It would be just my luck if they did warp on impact, or bounce off each other and whack me in the shin.

The Frillians took their debate out the door before I finished. They’d already moved on to who could steer the hoversled with the minimum of touching.

“Ha,” Paint said. “They do stack.”

I turned to see only one of the things set on top of another, with Paint ready to catch it if it slid. She took it down before I could say anything.

I just nodded and arranged my own into a reasonable huddle, then wiped my hands on my shirt. It was only when I moved toward the door, with a look back at the big pieces, that I got a good look at the one that Blop had set on its side.

This was the logical place to put it, not sticking out past the rest, but the thing that caught my attention was the shape when seen from this angle. Those two holes could have been eyes, and the flanges were shaped like stubby arms. There were even a couple slots in the middle like nostrils.

I burst out laughing.

“What?” Paint demanded.

“It looks like Zhee!” I said, pointing. “Big bug eyes and everything!”

“What does?” Paint asked. She came to stand next to me, following my arm, but just looked confused. “Where are the eyes?”

“These!” I said, stepping closer and pointing at the holes. “And those are the arms. Isn’t it perfect?”

Paint cocked her head as if slightly tilted vision could unlock the answers. “Arms?”

I repeated myself, but she still looked lost, so I found a notepad and pencil in a storage cupboard —reliable even when the batteries all run out — and sketched what I saw.

“Ohh, I get what you mean now,” Paint said when I showed her. “Those parts are lifted like pincher arms, and those are roughly the same proportion as Mesmer eyes.”

“Yeah, it’s uncanny,” I said.

Paint took the notepad to study it closer. “How did you even notice that?”

“It was pretty easy,” I told her. “It just jumped out at me when I looked from the right direction. Like seeing faces in clouds, you know?”

Paint’s blank expression said that she didn’t know.

“Do you not do that? Find patterns of familiar shapes in random things?”

“No?” she replied. “Is that a thing I’m supposed to be doing?”

“You don’t have to! It’s just something that everybody does on Earth, ever since we’re kids. It’s probably from a long history of watching for camouflaged predators in the bushes. You’ve got camouflage on your planet, right? You must.”

“Yeah, sure,” Paint said easily. “But I guess not that much. I’ve never seen a face in a cloud; that sounds terrifying.”

“Not really; it’s more like feeling smart for spotting something. Well,” I amended. “It could be a little unsettling if you see a skull or something. But that’s rare. There are whole systems of divination about this sort of thing.”

Paint looked like she was about to ask a million questions, but right then the sound of familiar clicking footsteps tapped down the hall.

“Zhee!” Paint called, whirling with the notebook in her hand. “Zhee, look what Robin saw!”

Zhee came into view looking just as eyecatching and purple as usual, halting at the doorway while Paint eagerly explained the conversation we’d just had. Quickly and enthusiastically. With lots of waving the sketch around, and pointing back at the machine part.

I felt like apologizing as he stared with an unreadable alien expression. His antennae weren’t even moving; I couldn’t tell what he thought of it all.

Finally Paint finished talking. “She says it’s probably because her species watches for predators in the bushes. Isn’t that amazing?”

Zhee made a point of looking slowly from the sketch to the metal thing, then to me. I braced myself for judgement.

Instead, Zhee raised his pincher arms into the same pose and declared, “I am the danger that lurks in the bushes.” Then he slunk out of sight, many legs scuttling in a quickstep way that he knew darn well I found creepy.

Paint blinked at the empty doorway, still holding the notebook.

“Aw, man,” I said. “He’s picking things up from Trrili.”

Paint immediately closed the notebook. “We definitely shouldn’t show her.”

“Agreed!” I said.

After a moment of thought, Paint tore the page out and handed it to me, then took the notebook back to the cupboard. I pocketed it with a final glance at the metal vertebra that looked remarkably like a cartoonish Mesmer squaring up for battle.

Someone had left a roll of no-residue marking tape on a box nearby. I grabbed a strip and stuck it onto the metal, with the ends curved up.

Now the thing had a goofy grin that possibly no one would recognize. But if there were any humans on the receiving end of this delivery, they ought to get a good laugh out of it.

~~~

The ongoing backstory adventures of the main character from this book. More to come! And I am currently drafting a sequel!

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peniscat · 1 year

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gerri is someone who gets her dick sucked instead of sucking dick. btw. if you even care

#this was in my drafts and i am extremely wine drunk #feels appropriate #succession

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ragewrites · 4 months

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last poems of 2023, both holiday gifts meant for the same friend.

#spilled ink #poetry #poets on tumblr #poem #writeblr #2023 #i'm quite. quite drunk. but #looking back on 2023...actually the past few years have all been quite extreme emotionally speaking #but i am so glad. so glad. it killed neither my compulsion for writing #nor my love for my friends #my love in generaly rlly #so so so glad.#may 2024 treat me kindly. may it fan my love and only my love with no new griefs. may i be full of sap. may i write and write with ease.#i want to play more with language and form...yes even more than i have been throughout 22/23...more more more always more #and i especially want to go back to erasures this year i miss erasures so much. and found elements in general ahh #anyway. i'll. stop rambling ahhghj see you all tomorrow whn i'm sober and i've edited tonite's midnight drafts to smth that's presentable #love n grace x

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minamotoz · 2 years

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(/copypasta) boy meets world season 5 episode 18 turned me into the joker

#boy meets world #shory #shawn x cory #im still in Shock at how explicitly romantic that line feels #and then the tender love confessions immediately after and the random guy reassuring them #by saying that his brother has also taken up an 'alternative lifestyle'#and then alan gets extremely mad over the influence shawn has over cory in a Very Charged argument #in which shawn says he 'showed cory how to feel good' HWLLO???????#and then drunk!shawn dropping the whole 'i just want my best fwiends to be happy🥺' schtick #and becoming outwardly cruel and demeaning towards cory and topanga #basically flat out admitting his self destructive behavior is a ploy to get corys attention off of topanga and onto him? AM I INSANE?#anyways boy meets world 5x18 'if you cant be with the one you love'#is the worlds most homoerotic anti-underaged drinking PSA ever made #unrelated but does anyone like my priv pfp of peter st0ne on meth performing shared custody by studz

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say-hi-intrepid-heroes · 4 months

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#please ignore everything i've said this evening #i am more than slightly drunk #and i got the serotonin boost from texting with the person im romantically interested in #plus i'm running on about a week with extremely poor sleep so a bitch is tired #anyway i've looked very coherent im sure but the things i have said should not be repeated #let's all just forget about this yeah?#plus i didn't get my kisses in at all in 2023 and i certainly didn't get a new years kiss so im very sad #anyway let's just forget this ever happened

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gingerteaonthetardis · 8 months

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stop having ship wars start having gay sex i'm bored of this

#go outside!!! touch some grass!!! if u cant do that might i suggest the doctor who audio drama 'scherzo' by robert shearman #that'll at least give you something to cry about that isnt batshit annoying #also i love finally checking tumblr properly from the hostel and finding out this bullshit is STILL happening #recycling points from 2012!!!! so fun!!!! let's keep having the same fights forever this is a time loop now #abbey.txt #(if annoyone annoys me on this post i will block them with extreme prejudice <3)#anyone* i'm fine i can spell i am just drunk

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skinnypaleangryperson · 5 months

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I don't know if it's just me, but are they gradually dumbing down Rick's character for the sake of keeping the show popular?

I got extreme Peter Griffin vibes from this episode, and I feel like in general he's a lot less sharp and cool gritty and witty and "unconventional" the way that he was the first couple of seasons. He wasn't an easy character to "swallow" in a lot of ways so to speak, and I feel like he's gradually getting dumber, more cloudy around the edges, less sharp and more conventional and shallow with a lot of the things that he says. He feels extremely typical sometimes this season-like more of the character that people would watch because the character doesn't challenge their headspace in any kind of way, and is someone that encourages their complacent drunk dead personality.

The character used to say things that was really unpopular, or at the very least would occasionally say things that would make people uncomfortable (just things like "if you know how you're going to die because of how boring your life is then you're not even alive" and just things that challenged at the boring drunk complacent status quo that most American sitcom characters are), was an extreme breath of fresh air in terms of how sharp he was and how he wasn't afraid to challenge everything even if it was just in a TV show character kind of way, and it's one of the things that stuck out about me about him the most, especially as someone who is mentally ill and feels detached from most of American culture.

I might just be in a bad mood, but I genuinely feel like Rick feels less sharp and "unconventional"and is starting to feel increasingly more dumb, dopey and easy to swallow as a character.

I still love him and I always will, and sometimes I find it endearing, but this episode in particular felt like he was just being a dumb genuine and boring drunk (really just in terms of the scene with Beth, but considering that the episodes are only about 22 minutes, there isn't a lot of elbow room to work with, especially considering most of this episode was summer screen time).

The only reason why I care so much is because of Rick is one of the very few characters I've ever been genuinely connected with, so I'm just worried that Rick as a character is going down to gradual slippery slope of just becoming an American extremely overly dumbed it down product. The show was so gritty and real and raw and a lot of ways for the first three to four seasons and kept that touch up to season 6, but this season just feels like they're gradually going into "American Dad" type feeling territory, and I'm vaguely worried a little bit about my connection to the show. Especially as someone that does not connect to things easily or ever at all really. And partially because everything is so dumbed down and doesn't seem to have any and genuine philosophy behind it except of being another brainless thing for people to consume to pass the time.