#I actually think I need therapy after this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rainba · 16 hours

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Hihihihi!!! How would the sillies respond to a darling who's self destructive (both socially and physically, like self harm and self sabotage)? I love ur OCS btw ur writing is amazing 💘

Aww, thank youuu!! :3c

And thank you for the ask!! It's really made me think....

Huge warning for these responses, they are very… Dark. If these topics make you uncomfortable, please feel free to skip this one!

TWs/tags: self-harm, toxic behaviors from the yans.. Lots of angst (plus comfort)

For Kairos, it’d be a really unhealthy situation. He, too, engages in really self-destructive behaviors, and if his darling also does it, he’d only end up enabling you even further. In some way, Kairos would see it as “beautiful”, the two of you suffering together at your own hands... He’d be one of those people that would watch you cut yourself and then kiss your scars right after… And then he’d cut himself in the same places, just so you two can “match.”

And if you’re socially self-destructive? Pushing everybody away because you just feel like everyone secretly hates you, or for some other reason? It’s okay– all you need is Kairos, anyway! You can destroy all of your other relationships, so long as you keep Kairos close to you.

He’ll love you forever and ever, you never have to worry about him leaving you. If you push him away, he’ll keep coming back. You could be at your absolute worst, and he’d still view you as a perfect angel. It’s… Not healthy. But he can’t help it.

However– if you were to ever put yourself into any life-threatening situations, or if you genuinely wanted to die, he'd become downright terrified and would try his best to make you stop your self-destructive behaviors. After all, he loves you too much– he doesn’t want you to die. The two of you need to live long, happy lives together! If engaging in all these self-destructive things with you might lead to your death, he’ll do everything in his power to make it stop, and he'll also make sure that the both of you get better. He'll hold your hand every step of the way, recovering alongside you. And he'd never judge you for relapsing.

Basically, it's sort of like this: if you want to get worse, Kairos will also get worse. If you want to get better, Kairos will do everything in his power to help you, and he’d also try to help himself along the way. It’s almost like he’s mirroring you, in some ways.

As for Luka, he’d have a totally opposite reaction to Kairos. He would be enraged that you actively hurt yourself. He’d handle it pretty badly. If he found out that you actively harm yourself, he would refuse to take his eyes off of you and would be monitoring your every movement... You'd suddenly never get a moment to yourself.

When you’re using the bathroom, he’ll be standing next to you the whole time. When you shower, he’ll be showering with you. When you go to sleep, he'll be caging you in his arms.

If you have a job, he might actually force you to quit, just so he can monitor you even further. Either that, or he’ll make you take a temporary leave from work until he knows that you’ve stopped hurting yourself.

It’s… Absolutely not a good way to go about it, he knows this, but it’s the only thing he can think of doing. It's his gut reaction to it all.

Luka would keep asking you ‘why’ as he holds you tightly in his arms, glaring at you while also having pitiful tears in his eyes. For one of the first times in his life, he feels so deeply hurt and confused. He isn't prepared at all to handle the feelings that are bubbling within himself. Luka would also start losing lots of sleep.

When you’re sleeping peacefully in bed beside him, he’d sit up and bed and just… Stare at you for hours.

Slowly, he'd start kissing your cheeks, stroking your hair, and then holding you close as he tries not to be upset with you. He knows that you’re hurting… And he loathes how helpless he feels. While he’s not the biggest advocate for therapy, he would ask you to go see a therapist. He knows that he alone can’t help you– and that it’s impossible for him to just monitor you every second of every day.

If you refuse to see a therapist, he’ll be upset, but he won't force you to go. All he tells you is that if you need it, he’ll listen to you– even though he’s horrible at giving good advice. But at the very least, he’s really good at just listening to you. He’ll remember everything you tell him. And any time you show signs of improvement, he will be proud of you.

As for socially sabotaging yourself, it’s the same as Kairos. All you really need is Luka, so… He won’t stop you from cutting everyone else off. ^^;;

#ask #kairos posting #luka posting

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primalmagic · 3 days

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when horror movies become therapy

it's been a year after the webtoon's final events, and the gang still can't watch real horror movies.

OR a sbg future au consisting purely of fluff, sleepovers, and, well, horror movies.

—

You would think, that one year later, things would have settled down. That everyone would be trying to get their lives back together, figure things out, and leave the past far, far, behind them.

The truth could not be farther from that.

The six of them have huddled together on Ashlyn's slightly bouncy couch, watching a crappy horror movie that was way too loud and way too flashy.

Watching horror movies had become a tradition between them, like a "take that" to everything they'd been through. It was a slow climb, sure, but it was something to do, and it made them all feel a little bit accomplished. Not being scared of another movie felt like giving a middle finger to the horror movie they lived through- almost like a step towards being... normal again.

Plus, they got to do it together.

"Someday," Taylor mutters, "We'll have the guts to go and watch a real horror film without freaking out."

Aiden snorts, shifting on the couch to avoid being squished between Tyler and Ashlyn. "Please, you wouldn't last ten seconds in an actual movie theatre."

She flicks him in the shoulder and sighs in pretend exasperation, "Please, you didn't last ten seconds in an actual movie theatre." She retorts, raising her eyebrows.

Aiden looks away, slightly red and embarrassed, "That was like, three months ago! And it was scary, okay? The ghoul thing looked like a phantom. There's no way you weren't scared too."

She can't deny that she'd also been freaking out, but Aiden's vocal reaction had made the entire group laugh for hours. He'd gotten up on his chair and screamed curses at the theatre screen, then spider-jumped two rows down and bounced outside. No, literally, he was practically hopping, flailing his arms and running out the door like an Olympic sprinter. He denies it, for some reason, justifying it with a flick of his hand and an insistence of it being only for the dramatics.

"Never said we weren't scared," Ashlyn blurts, grabbing a handful of sweet-and-salty popcorn out of an oddly geometrically decorated bowl, "Just sayin' that you didn't need to run out like Logan did when we first met him."

Logan squawks indignantly, "I did not run when I first met you!" He gets up to snatch some popcorn from Ashlyn's bowl, and makes an unpleasant face when he pops one into his mouth. "God, this is like if table salt and caramel had a baby, and then left it alone in a cornfield for a century."

"It's delicious," Ashlyn frowns, "You're taste buds are just deformed."

"I-"

"Guys," Tyler groans, "Can we just watch the fucking movie?"

Aiden leans over to ruffle his hair, causing Tyler to squeak and try to move away. "Aw, poor Tyler," He snickers, "I think he's enjoying the movie. We should all be quiet and let him watch it, then."

"I'm not!" He protests, because the film is terrible and it would be incredibly embarrassing to enjoy it, "I just want you guys to shut up."

Taylor frowns, "No you don't," She declares, definitively.

He groans, "Either you guys watch the movie and shut up, or you turn off the movie and complain about disfigured salt babies for hours. There is no in-between."

Ben types something on his iPad and raises it for the rest to see, Both, please, and thank you. He smirks slightly, clearly proud of pissing Tyler off.

He groans, "You guys are exhausting, I'm leaving. I have to get to practice early tomorrow anyway."

"No!" Aiden screams, launching himself at the tired boy, "You are not allowed to leave, buddy. You are being held hostage by the Phantom Busters, please do not rebel in any form or way."

"I... plead the fifth?" He blinks, knowing that there isn't any way out of this.

"We're having a sleepover," Logan declares, "No negotiations necessary. Or allowed."

Tyler rolls his eyes, but his irritated persona is broken when he smiles, "Yeah, sure, fine, whatever."

Ashlyn grabs another handful of popcorn, "You know, you do have to ask the person whose house it is if you want to have a sleepover, right?"

"Nope," Aiden shrugs, "But I asked your mom already."

She snorts, throwing a piece of popcorn at him, "When the hell did you do that?"

It lands in Taylor's hair, and she swats it off quickly.

"Like, right before we started the movie? You just didn't see me 'cause I'm a fucking ninja," He finger-guns her and swirls around, "Now, if you will excuse me, I must notify my parents that they are free of another morning with me."

The movie has stopped playing, and when Ashlyn finally notices, she furrows her eyebrows, "When the hell did the movie turn off?"

Ben waves the remote and throws it to Aiden, who just put his phone down.

"It's been confisticated," Aiden declares, punching his hand in the air like he's holding a gold medal instead of a TV remote.

Logan sighs, "Confiscated," he corrects.

"That's what I fucking said!"

"Whatever," Taylor waves him off, "We can finish the movie tomorrow. You guys want to play charades?"

"Can I be a clown?"

She sighs, "It doesn't work like tha-"

"Don't worry, Aiden, you don't need to pretend," Tyler grins, then ducks away from the popcorn kernel Aiden chucks at him.

"I hate you," He snaps back, with no heat behind his words.

"Ditto," He replies, still basking in the warmth of Aiden's rage.

The blonde calms down rather quickly, or at least he hides his anger as fast as possible. "You know what, thank you. I am a wonderful clown and as I stand here today, I demand justice for all the clowns in the world! You have wronged them, Sir Tyler of the Hernandez." He bows dramatically.

Taylor wheezes, "I need to get that printed on a T-shirt, oh my god."

Aiden nods rapidly, "Oh my god, absolutely, we need matching T-shirts and like, earrings."

You don't even have your ears pierced. Ben types, sharing an amused glance with Logan.

"What about the clip-on things? We could totally get that!!"

Tyler flops back onto the couch, nearly knocking into Logan, who pushes him away lightly. "Aiden, you have too much energy right now, and it's almost midnight. Can we sleep now?"

Aiden looks at him like he's insane, "Who goes to sleep during a sleepover?"

"Me. Good night, Aiden," Tyler smiles, amused.

"Fine," He grumbles, "Let's get the sleeping bags out."

The fact that they all had sleeping bags at Ashlyn's house only proved that they had slept over way too many times to count. Not that she minded though, it was nice having people around, and now that she was comfortable with them, it was almost relaxing.

Sure, it got tiring sometimes, but it was a small price to pay.

Besides, without them, who else would she watch horror movies with?

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laura1633 · 3 days

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Have you ever written secret omega for lestappen?

I have written a secret omega lestappen but it was also an alternative universe with Charles as a secret omega F1 driver and Max as an alpha cuddle therapist. I actually removed it off ao3 as I wanted to work it into a longer story so I can't link it but I have included it below the cut.

Max could still very vividly recall just how surprised everyone was when he presented as an alpha. He too had long suspected that he was an omega. It was a reasonable assumption, he seemed to possess all the qualities people liked to associate with omegas and very few alpha traits.

His dad had been overjoyed, apparently alphas were strong and far more likely to succeed in business. He tried his best to look at the positives, his father was technically correct, society seemed to have some very outdated views about omegas in the workplace. At least presenting as an alpha gave him more opportunities in life. Still, he couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed.

During his teenage years he tried to fit into the mould that had been laid out for him. He was boisterous which at times spilled into anger and aggression. He tried to go into everything full on without fear and take what he wanted. For the most part he got away with it. When he picked fights people wrote it off as just something young alphas did, when he argued people mostly backed down or backed away. It never came naturally though and as he got a little older his behaviour started to feel more erratic and out of control rather than strong and stable.

A complete misjudgement in his early twenties changed the course of his life for the better. After a few too many drinks he had gotten himself into a fight with a much, much larger alpha and had ended up in hospital. When he was eventually discharged, still battered and bruised, he decided to stop pretending to be something he wasn’t and set out to become the alpha he always wanted to be. He let himself be vulnerable and display his emotions openly, he softened and calmed. The best part was that the more he settled into his new ways the more he realised that everything he had learnt about omegas and alphas was based on oversimplified ideas.

Whilst his new outlook may not have impressed his father it did lead him to his job and he loved his job more than anything because he was finally doing something good in the world.

The alpha buzzed the apartment for his newest client. Today was the first meeting, a time to reassure and explain all the benefits that came along with cuddling. It was also a chance for the client to set their boundaries and really think about their needs. Max was realistic, he knew a lot of people did not understand the virtues of cuddle therapy but he one hundred percent believed in it. He had evidence to back it up too, he had helped so many people.

Yesterday he had spent the morning cuddled up to an elderly omega who had lost her husband a year prior and just wanted to feel some level of intimacy and warmth without the guilt or hassle of trying to find someone new. Then there were clients who were dealing with stress but had no-one else to turn to, he would feel them settling into his arms and slowly relaxing. Then there were omegas who had had traumatic experiences with alphas and needed reassurance. When it came down to it most people had a basic need for comfort and kindness but didn’t always have a support system in place to provide it and he was more than happy to be there to help them through the tough times.

This client was his first ‘celebrity’. Not that they would be treated any differently. Each client was special and unique and the sessions were designed around their individual needs. It did however mean he had had to sign a very lengthy non disclosure agreement, and that was how he came to discover that F1 World Champion Charles Leclerc was not an alpha but an omega.

Max knocked on the door and patiently waited, when Charles eventually answered he looked a little hesitate but let him in.

“I don’t know how we start..” Charles mumbled, clearly a little stressed.

“We can just talk first” Max smiled reassuringly.

“You can’t tell anyone any of this can you? I just, if people find out then I will not be allowed to drive” Charles chewed on the sleeve of his oversized jumper.

“No I can’t and I would never. The whole point of this is for you to relax. Why don’t you tell me what you are hoping to get out of this?”

“Honestly, I just… I just want to be held. I have to spend all my time pretending that I am something I am not, sometimes I just want to lie in an alpha’s arms” Charles felt his face blushing red.

“That is understandable”

“It is?” Charles looked up hopeful.

“Of course. Human interaction is so important, genuine human interaction”

Charles smiled, “See this is what I mean, I can get a friendly hug or a pat on the back but I just.. well I am off my suppressants for winter break and I just.. I just need…to be myself and feel nice”

“We can do that” Max assured, he knew a little about trying to be something you weren’t. He may not have had to go on suppressants but he had certainly suppressed his true self for years. He would never push Charles to reveal his true designation but he would certainly give him as much comfort as he could.

“Can we just .. I mean I would prefer not to talk much”

“That is fine, this is your time, whatever you need” Max reassured. He preferred to talk first, to find out what the client needed so he could plan appropriately but some clients just wanted physical contact straight away, which was fine, he found those same clients opened up eventually.

“Do you do it here or like on a bed or in silence or ..”

“It is however you are most comfortable. We can of course cuddle in bed but I find most clients prefer something a little less intense the first time. Maybe cuddle here, in front of a movie if you would prefer”

“Sure, yes that would be good” Charles exhaled deeply, already flicking on the television and finding something inoffensive to put on.

“Okay I am going to hug you now Charles, let me know if you want me to move away or if anything is uncomfortable or overwhelming”

Charles nodded, he wasn’t entirely sure how a hug could be overwhelming but then again he had never actually snuggled up to alpha properly before. He had pretty much given up intimacy for racing. He took breaks in his suppressants and lived as an omega in the confines of his home during winter break but he could never chance a hook up or a relationship.

The omega shuffled a little closer into the alpha’s arms and tried to settle against their chest. Max’s body was warm, his chest broad and soft, his arms large and muscular. It was exactly what Charles was hoping it would be. He inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of cedarwood that blended so beautifully with his own sweet scent.

As Max wrapped his arms around him and held him close Charles felt himself drifting in and out of sleep, each time waking up to hear himself purring contently until he felt like he was floating. The omega took steadying breaths, moaning softly as he concentrated on Max’s chest rising and falling and the sound of his heartbeat.

“Are you okay Charles?”

“Yes, I …I…” Charles suddenly realised he was crying, Max’s t-shirt was wet where he had been resting his head, he moved away quickly, completely embarrassed, “Sorry I am not sure why I am crying”

“It is normal” Max tentatively soothed an arm up and down the omega’s arms and ushered them back closer to him, “It is just a lot, yes?”

“Yes” Charles mumbled, he really hadn’t expected such a physical reaction to being held but it truly was overwhelming.

“Just relax Charles, I’ve got you. You are safe”

“Okay” Charles tried to let go of the tension in his body, thinking about each of his muscles in turn until he felt weightless again, only being held down by the alpha’s strong grip., “It…. It feels nice”

“Good, would you like me to talk to you?”

“Maybe” Charles looked up to meet the alpha’s eyes, “And say what?”

“Just the truth” Max smiled, “That I think you deserve only good things. That you deserve to be able to be yourself”

“I wish” Charles hummed contently at the thought of finally being free, of finally letting everyone know that their precious alpha world champion was actually an omega.

“Perhaps one day” Max held Charles tightly, the omega’s body relaxing more and more as they held each other.

“One day” Charles closed his eyes and relaxed. One day he was going to do it, he was going to turn up as his true authentic self, was going to pave the way for other omegas. Today though, today he was just content to be in Max’s arms.

#Never have I ever game #Lestappen fanfic

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salternateunreality2 · 1 day

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Kunsel says:

We should maybe have a stricter definition of what counts as "hacking", okay?

It was a slow day at work, and he decided to guess people's email passwords in 10 attempts.

How does it go?

YESSSSSSSSS

Pro tips: make your password long, that is the most important factor. Use a password manager, most of them have a free option. Adding complexity does help, but focus on length first. Size does matter here. Multi-factor authentication (MFA) also helps a lot.

---------

Kunsel: Zack, gimme your password!

Zack: ...

Kunsel: Come on man, I need it for something!

Zack: 😭😭😭 buddy I would, but I forgot it again 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Kunsel: Ok man, it's ok, let's look around your desk...here, under this pile of chip bags, I think i saw...yeah, here's the penguin toy...and yep, Password Penguin has "Zack'ss00p3rp4ssw0rd!" written on the bottom. Let's try it!

(it works)

Zack: THANK YOU KUNSEL I THOUGHT I'D LOST HIM AND I COULDN'T REMEMBER AND-

Kunsel: *wheeze* Zack let go, I need to breathe *wheeze*

-----------

Kunsel tries to guess Roche's by typing it in.

M0t0rcycle!

ShinyDancer

Sh1n33D4nc3r!

He's in.

------------

Kunsel tries to guess Sephiroth's. On the 9th try, he gets it: Seph+Jenova4ever

Horrible things are uncovered along the way and now he needs to send Sephiroth some information very discreetly.

------------

Lazard. Kunsel knows better. He gives a few guesses, but decides to actually hack this.

He sets up a hash capturing tool over the internal network and waits for Lazard to log on. He does. Kunsel captures the hash and starts cracking it.

Three days later, the hash cracker has not worked and he has to give up on that.

Kunsel: Sir, I need to get into your email, will you please send me your password?

Lazard: Of course not, that is unsafe and against company policy. However, you're welcome to come to my office to perform any actions we both deem necessary.

Kunsel goes over and Lazard is using multifactor authentication, so just having the hash cracked wouldn't have worked anyway. He sets up a keylogger surreptitiously on Lazard's workstation while "performing updates" and showing Lazard new features in his email.

The things he captures with that keylogger:

* Numerous emails covering for boneheaded shit the SOLDIERs did.

* The letter "A" typed about a thousand times into a text file labeled "definitely not screams.txt".

* Moogle searches for "how to convince your employees to get therapy", "pasta recipes", "therapists near me", "child psychology for adults", "play therapy for adults", "cat psychology", and "shrimp pasta recipes".

* The password: &oh'ihiy_-8_gi"it"gi_ipkb0(-ur#3-@--LXS4ever--9(9;0(!08(098+pihjboigig(@ukopih

Then it is a simple matter of finding a zero-day race condition hack in the MFA software, timing things just right, and entering the password and hacked MFA key at the perfect moment.

Kunsel of course has pity on the man after seeing even more emails such as...

* Explaining to Roche that doing squats over his motorcycle makes it look like he's humping it, and it is making people uncomfortable.

* Asking Genesis to please not actually firaga the recruits this week, they don't need a lawsuit. No, it's not character building. No, even though it was part of his home training and Shinra sanctioned training a few years ago.

* Inviting Sephiroth over for shrimp pasta to discuss strategy.

* Asking Angeal to seek therapy so the others will follow his lead.

* Telling Zack that he could not have a therapy flamingo in the office. Even if it was a lawn ornament.

* Warning Hojo not to take Sephiroth this week.

* Warning Hollander not to take Genesis and Angeal this week.

* Reaming Heidegger out very politely for all his BS.

Kunsel logs out without doing anything. Lazard needs a break.

--------

Kunsel calls Angeal pretending to be the help desk. Angeal, a bit embarrassed over his upbringing and unsure because he feels unused to technology, eventually gives Kunsel the password: BanoraBoys123!

----------

Genesis' is guessed on the 7th try because Kunsel didn't want to bother typing in an entire stanza of Loveless with numbers instead of vowels.

1nf1n1t3_1n_myst3ry_1s_th3_g1ft_0f_th3_g0dd3ss__w3_s33k_1t_th7s_4nd_t4k3_t0_th3_sky_r1ppl3s...

He sends an email from Genesis inviting everyone to a Loveless recital on Tuesday. It backfires because several people, including Genesis, show up and have a great time.

-----------

Kunsel tries Zack's little trooper friend next. He's a tough nut to crack. He won't pick up his PHS to get vished, won't click on Kunsel's phishing emails, and won't tell Zack or Kunsel his password.

Kunsel captures his hash and cracks it. It takes a full 24 hours, but he gets it in the end:

!1986fuck_this_shit

#ff7 #sephiroth #zack fair #cloud strife #genesis rhapsodos #angeal hewley #lazard deusericus #die hojo die #kunsel #hackerman kunsel

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1ris5starlight · 2 days

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Before watching:

Sh*t...Moon won't be happy about this...

After watching:

1. (Minute 2:20) why Sun has a glitter glue as weapon-????

2. ...I'm a little worried about Moon's behaviour...

I don't think that therapy session with Earth was good for him, because like Old Moon said, he was holding back from becoming like his old self in fact he took many more factors into account instead of rushing into danger like Old Moon did...

And now that Earth told him to explore that side of him...

I just don't know if that is a good idea, because he really might start acting like his old self...

But fortunately at the end Moon listened to Sun, so he actually listen, unlike his old self...

I hope it continues to stay that way...

For everyone sake, especially Sun, because he doesn't need to go through all that AGAIN....

#sams #sun and moon show #angst #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf sams #sun and moon fnaf #fnaf #fnaf security breach

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phantommaws · 6 months

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I am not okay right now.

youtube

#attack on titan #hange zoe #levi ackerman #erwin smith #nanaba #moblit berner #aot final season #i am screaming #i am crying #i need therapy #i actually cried #I actually think I need therapy after this #it was 4am when I watched this #I have to go to work #I don’t want to #Youtube

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gxlden-angels · 4 months

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Bro I hate fundamentalists and culturally-fundie parents they'll say shit like "spare the rod spoil the child am I right haha yea my parents used to have to beat my ass with a switch almost everyday but I sure did learn my lesson" but like??? no you didn't??? you were hit multiple times for something you very obviously did not, in fact, learn

Like studies about how harmful even lightly spanking children is aside, you're literally contradicting yourself?? Some even admitted they got worse as they got older cause they wanted to see how far they could push their parents before they got punished

And studies not aside, you're gonna get child raising advice from the same book that tells you to stone your wife if her hymen doesn't break on your wedding night instead of the decades of research we have now?? Just say you're a bad parent and move on my guy. Skill issue

#bro I had a coworker go 'unpopular opinion I think some kids really do need beatings' and I'm like????#unprompted???? what's going on there????#well anyways I ended up going 'yea so I plan on specializing in play therapy with autistic children so I've been learning about talking #to children and the ways their parents and environment affects them'#and they're like hmmm but beating this kid with a stick after they broke something or I upset them to the point of yelling is good actually #had a boss say it taught him and his kids respect cause they were hard-headed #and I'm like?? that's fear not respect! they fear punishment! they do not act out of respect for you!#he's a conservative christian black man tho so he's like 'But Authority!' like bro I don't even respect you what are you on about #'You don't respect police and their authority?' Nope! I fear them! I do not respect cops and every cop/cop-adjacent person I personally know #has reinforced that for me #'We'll agree to disagree' Cool! Doesn't mean you're not wrong! I could believe trees aren't real but that is in fact incorrect #then he pulled out the bible verse and I was like ah okay I forgot you like 'here's how to treat slaves' book you're so right bestie #I'm totally wrong now and so sorry for doubting you and your 2000+ year old book I don't believe in <3 #They'd go 'well I turned out fine!' then say something that directly contradicts that #anyways I need christians to get their grubby little hands off the current state of Child Protection and Rights in the U.S.#So we can actually start working on helping kids without the force of christian hands suffocating them #cause homeschooling and child raising by evangelicals are so fucked up bro I'm tired of this shit #I'd only stay in my current state to help children get out of that cycle since I'm in the bible belt #ex christian #religious trauma #child abuse tw

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significant-ace-nnoyance · 1 year

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any 'wait for it' girlies out there? nice nice just wanted to drop by and let you know that you are mentally unwell!! me too :) we can unpack why you latched onto those lyrics as a kid together <3

#elli i am staring at you 👁👄👁 STARING DIRECLTY AT U #i relistened the other day after our convo and HOLY FUCK NO WONDER I ATTACHED TO THAT SONG AS A CHILD BJADLSFDJKSL #the lyrics BRO ARE WE OKAY #I DONT THINK SO #anyways heres a very niche off brand callout post . if this speaks to u hmu #we can do some group therapy #aka play that song on repeat and sing all the lyrics still embedded in our brains from 5th grade #thats a lie we all know u didnt stop in 5th grade #hamilton #i guess #im always scared to tag outside the byler tag/my mutuals because 🥺people on the internet are scary and need to calm down most of the time #wait for it #almost said wait for me originally because thats ALSO another banger and i need to add hadestown to my intro post bc BJAKLDSJKLJVS #formative middle school experience frfr #that musical slays omg #and i actually went and SAW that one #the flashing lights directly aimed at audiences were absolute HELL for me but its okay bc i could just close my eyes and recite the lyrics #this is way off topic my b #hadestown girlies stand up and hmu #we can just jam out to way down hadestown and chant and wait for me reprise and also cry to flowers together #ok thats enough tags

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spaceratprodigy · 2 months

Note

doodled the science club hehe 🥺 they're helping low go through a breakdown or smth

i swear i'll finish this at some point btw

RED OHMYGODDD LOOK AT THEM!!!!!

I wish you could see the smile on my face rn omg I'M GONNA BE STARING AT THIS ALL DAY LOOOOOOONNGGGGG 💕💖😩💖💕

#literally sobbing rn this actually just made my morning #LOOK AT THEMMM OUGHHHHH MY HEARTTT I'm literally so in love #do I tell you enough how much I absolutely adore your art bc oughhhhh I have so many cartoon hearts flying around my head rn #ALSO FAITH IN YOUR STYLE MAKES MY HEART EXPLODE EVERY TIME I SEE HERRRR AAAAAAA #glad jasper low could join the group therapy club he really needed someone looking out for him after oops and gorgon :'[#oughhhhhhhhh we should be allowed to get him out or there and be his frienddddd I'm so fr #gonna be looking at my screen like 🥺 all day long okay #I hope they have so many warm drinks and cozy blankies and nice soup #they all deserve it but thinking abt how alone jasper is makes me sooo </3333 #no one else is ever gonna come for him if we can't convince him to leave like babygirl snap out of it we can do projects somewhere elseeeeee #captain of the unreliable #friend art #friend oc

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madfoxx · 9 months

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petition to change the shipname to ineffable divorcees

#😭😭#for real though #wtf just happened #i´m dizzy #they need therapy ok i think that would fix them #aziraphale needs to go through a divorce arc before he can realize that he wants and needs crowley more than heaven and god #and crowley....well crowley just needs a hug. my boy has done nothing wrong this time and i´m so sorry for him he just wants to be loved #like. he opened himself up and everything!#and then he got fucking dumped after a 6000 year long relationship!!! like?? cn you even imagine???#good omens #gos2 #good omens spoilers #gos2 spoilers #ineffable husbands #not wait actually not anymore i guess force of habit #ineffable divorcees #widowers works as well i guess

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quietwingsinthesky · 2 months

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there’s a progression in there, somewhere, of even going from ‘the master might kill me any day now :(‘ to ‘the master is going to kill me :) she’s not going to let someone else do it after all this time’

#i wouldn’t call it hubris exactly. more like this pretty secure surity that that’s how they’re going to die.#and to them that makes sense. they chose this. they keep choosing it after the doctor offers them a way out.#because this is. they understand this. and they feel safe in the reprieve before their death.#how do you control death? choose who kills you. the last defense of a prey animal.#something something dark mirror to clara’s ‘i am owed’ speech for even is if this ever. doesn’t work out the way they thought it would.#clara tried to threaten the doctor so that he’d reverse death for her. even would turn on the master if she tried to spare them.#i am owed better. i am owed the death you promised… i am owed the knowledge that you don’t care enough to save me… you know. something like #that.#even is. kind of. meant to mirror the doctor’s companions at the time. they are a martha who can’t leave him. they are a donna who has to #remember and never speak about everything they know. they are clara if during deep breath clara reached back and truly didn’t expect. truly #hoped. that no one would take her hand. because if they can be certain it will happen they can know never to reach again.#jesus christ. go to therapy boy. you have so many trust issues.#but that’s why they’re Like That with the master because at the end of the day. who is easier to rely on? the guy who comes in to put out #fires but only sometimes. or the guy who. really really fucking likes starting fires.#better to get burned hoping someone is coming or get burned knowing that’s what would happen. and even. chooses the latter.#AND ALL OF THIS. for me to say thats why i cant actually let the master ever kill them.#i think she needs to do something worse to even. i think she needs to abandon them.#and that will either set them free to go have healthy normal relationships or. lets be honest much more likely. completely fucking break #them. which would be fun :) for me.#dw oc

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arsonist-chicken · 3 months

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btw in absolutely unsurprising news I fucked up the exam of that class I'm taking for the third time badly again.

in very surprising news, apparently Something happened, idk if the dean said something to the professor or I looked like a distressed broken down wet rat enough or he just doesn't want to see me in his class again or idk, maybe it's not good for him if someone fails his class three times, but he actually offered that I could do a written exam on friday instead? which. is extremely surprising. good, because it gives me another afternoon to study and I can draw and go back to questions on a written exam, even if I have to shuffle around the other exams and papers now, just. very surprising.

#lol but next semester is the fucking seminar again with also the same professor #idk how you can teach such shitty classes regularly and never think hmmm maybe i should change something #with the amount of people having to take the classes at least twice #anyway good for me i'll keep crying over uni the rest of the week and the weekend too and then i'll do stuff next week #like i need to call my insurance and annoy them in person until they say yes to any therapist who will have me #and call the other thing #and oh i really need to find a different GP because i'm soundly back at the stage of where i can literally not think two sentences #after each other without trailing off or it taking up extremely much energy just to remember which store i wanted to go to #and i'm aware that stress and mental illness causes brain fog or whatever #but i've been stressed before but this only started last autumn and i need a different doctor to look at it #who won't just say oh it's just iron levels #there's something wrong with my brain and i need someone competent who actually cares to look at it and tell me #if therapy will fix this or if it's a physical problem #please let it be just brain fog htat therapy can fix i don't have time for this #i just want to sleep and cry until this bs is over but semester break starts next week but i still have exams then and a whle list of #stuff to do for uni still plus stuff otuside. like a doctor. and sleep a normal amount instead of in weird horu intervals on my desk and in #my clothes on my bed or floor or wherever i am at the moment my brain decides it's over now #also friends. i wanted to catch up. also a job. like. yeah i need a job even if idk how i'll do uni and a job with the way my brain is righ #now #huh. oh i have another exam in half an hour. send help i don't want to go to uni anymore #mine #still don't know what that class or the seminar next semester are about btw but we moce #*move #goddamn it I'm TIRED and not just in the physical sense #i'm so goddamn done with uni and insurances deciding about psychotherapy and the general state of the world and cost of living #and i miss my friends and i want to visit them but nither them nor me have time and travelling is expensive #and ijust want a goddamn fucking break but i don't see one comign anytime soon. not before summer #but probably not even then #and after that i'll start working so like #at least no goddamn seminars anymore but i still absolutely dread having to decide where i want to work a

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ghostlyremainss · 6 months

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so i have two durges, one is meant to be redeemed when i get to him eventually (old man durge), the other one (scion) was a loyal bhaalspawn to the very end.

and he vibed with astarion and though they never really became Friends TM, astarion still trusted him and relied on him. they went on and beat cazador arm to arm and astarion got to ascend and be free (according to himself at least) only for scion to claim the crown in his fathers name and so astarion ended up basically trading one master for another and it just makes me sad

but yeah anyway i have feelings about them being eachothers greatest enablers and while maybe not Caring about eachother, still treating the other one as an equal... only for scion to fuck over astarion in the end.

the look of betrayal on his face when scion told him hes a part of his design and turned him into a thrall.

because of course he would want a vampire lord to do his father bidding and then bleed out for him after hes served his purpose. because thats all they ever were to eachother isnt it? powerful allies to help to achieve their goal.

nothing less.

nothing more.

and scion helped astarion, as promised. its only fair he returns the favour.

#durge #dark urge #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate 3 #tav: scion #astarion #i think they both suck and need therapy actually!!#not me doing evil run immediately after good one where my girlie became besties with astarion lmao #the risk i took was calculated but man i am bad at math

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cynicalmusings · 19 days

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‘the most crucial skill that a good drinksmith needs is listening… drinksmithing is all about having conversations with your guests’

tea house owner!reader energy for real

#my mind shot straight there when siobhan said this in the hsr event #hey guys #what if i just steal the concept of the event and write a continuation?#the reader does spy on people and accept bribes for jobs blah blah blah #but they also offer free therapy over tea!#(but only if they like the person if course) (everyone else is getting eavesdropped on)#…i started writing this as a joke but hey it could be fun #if i ever write a continuation of that fic i might do something like that #high cloud quintet members coming for therapy after baiheng dies #reader helping couples talk through problems in their relationship calmly #i’m a sucker for characters who are very elusive and sneaky and cold but when it comes to it have a heart of gold #‘yes i will expose your enemy’s business blah blah but hang on let me help this lost child find their parents first’#‘oh you’re not being patient? you think your rivalry is more important than this child? actually you can keep the money and leave thank you #[turning to child] ‘now tell me where you last saw your parents’#and with their connections from the various dealings they’ve had around the xianzhou they’d be really good at dealing with these situations #and with regards to the jing yuan aspect of things i firmly believe he needs somebody with kindness and warmth in them to fall for them #reader can’t all be bribery and dodgy deals #imagining him coming to the shop one day to get some information they’ve gathered or whatever #and they’re like ‘shush not now i’m hearing this girl vent about her shit partner’#or doing something nice #and he falls even harder #sorry i have gone on an absolute tangent here #i don’t know what demon possessed me #maybe i will write a part two who knows #that reader would certainly be a fun one to flesh out #r’s random thoughts

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soldier-poet-king · 11 months

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And so begins the weekend from helllll

Father? In a pissy mood? Me, stuck with him in a car all weekend with 0 other people as a buffer? ALSO I have to do a long stretch of highway driving. AND go to an event for bro 1 who I am very upset with for being an all around asshole and don't want to see or speak to him.

#franposting #literally i cant even just nap im fucking driving #i am goinf to ***#highkey actually being at work would be better than this #goodbye weekend. goodbye mental health. goodbye will to live #these mfs need to go to marriage therapy or get divorced. do one. please. i cant take this anymore #hes all like. oh no how do u think i feel #BITCH how do you think /i/ feel after more than a decade managing ur shitty ass moods #I WAS A CHILD #i cant even play mean angry driving music bc hes THERE #i have to play smthn kosher and pg and not clearly Unwell #actually. actually. sometimes i hate my parents more than anyone else on earth #i DONT forgive them. im sorry. its hard to forgive when they dont make the slightest effort to change

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thedreadvampy · 7 months

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idk I had a very interesting therap today but I just

like it's all very well to recognise that I gotta have a fucking open-ended breakdown and jump face first into the Sadness Bog sometimes instead of sitting on all my feelings

but like

I still have to go to work, you know? it's like. ok yeah have a breakdown which like until you jump into it you don't know if it's going to last an hour or a year. yeah go ahead that's all grand. you do have to get up in the morning and go to work though. you're not allowed to not do that. or to not pay the rent or not shower or not eat.

like all my friends and loved ones are constantly like 'you know you're allowed to be sad right' and it's like. AM I??? because I STILL HAVE TO PAY RENT.

#red said #the thing my therapist keeps pointing out is like. i got on this adulthood thing WAY too early #metaphorically i have Had To Go To Work In The Morning since i was like. 4. bc i am congenitally incapable of #Not Thinking About Consequences. and it's so important to be Good and Tough and Have It Together #but like. maybe if id done more crying and melting down when i DIDN'T Have To Go To Work In The Morning bc i was a Literal Infant #i might be a more balanced adult now that i actually DO. Have To Go To Work In The Morning.#what do people like. do. when they have to have feelings but also meet adult responsibilities? impossible. gotta choose.#i think it doesn't help that i already really struggle to work a full time job. like I'm already late basically every day bc i a night guy #so it's like. there's no give in this. maybe if i was back into a 3-4 day week? but idk if i can afford that #but also the work is only partly work. it's also like. having human relationships. eating. washing. being a person.#but idk. like. until i have some genuinely open-ended time i think I'm gonna always find it impossible to actually let go #i said in therapy it's like. like sadness specifically is like a thick muddy bog. and i can dip a foot in it #but bc i know i need to be able to keep moving #i can only stick a foot in and deal with a bit of it if I'm holding onto something. so in practise i can only cry #right before it becomes inappropriate to cry. so like. end of a therapy session. heading to a train station after seeing someone.#that kind of thing. it's a safety thing.#it would be much more effectively Dealing With to go dive into the bog and plough through it #but I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG THAT'LL TAKE and i have to like. come out all muddy and deal with that #and there's always somewhere i gotta be soon. i can't just jump into the mud. not cause I'll get hurt i just Don't Have Time #anyway. feelings. how do they work. embarrassed about having them. embarrassed about suppressing them. generally just embarrassed.

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