#die hojo die

[salternateunreality2]

Boop Wars

From the @strayheartless archives <3

Sephiroth learns what booping is from Zack one day and gently starts booping everyone he cares about. Cloud takes it personally and starts booping him back. Well, Cloud *tries* to boop him back, but Seph's so LONG. Doesn’t matter, Cloud’s a crafty, sneaky boopster and darts around like a silent, vengeful chocobo with a big foam finger to make up for the height difference.

So to keep the fun alive, Genesis and Zack appear out of nowhere and attach bells to both Cloud and Sephiroth to reduce their sneak abilities. So now the entire tower is jingling and giggling and Sephy is having the time of his LIFE. This is speaking to some inner instinct of his, but in a fun way for the first time outside of sparring.

Kunsel is glad he wears a helmet by default, because the number of times jingling grows louder rapidly, he gets booped, and giggles fade into the distance is too dang high. Kunsel's one of their few friends, so he's getting the brunt of this, along with Angeal, Genesis, and Zack.

Aerith, daughter of chaos, sneaks in and everyone thinks she's either Cloud or Sephiroth because who else could it be? They’re too fast to catch in the act, and those two goofballs are the only ones truly going at it.

Genesis, on a conference call: HEY! Sorry, one of them got me.

Angeal: HEY! ‘Scuse me, same here.

Zack: YO! Wait, how were the two of them in three places at once?!?!?!

Aerith: *giggles in the vents*

Lazard allows it, but subtly hints that they be careful who they do it to and definitely don't provoke anyone they shouldn't, because he's only going to help them get out of trouble if he himself is not too annoyed. Unfortunately for their victims, this gives them ~ideas~

Cloud pounces on Hojo and rips a chunk of skin and hair out, kicks him in the nuts, and screams BOOP. Then spends an hour in the bathroom aggressively grooming whatever part of himself touched The Horror.

Genesis decides to smack Scarlet for suggesting they use citizens as test dummies, calmly saying "Boop". Scarlet absolutely takes the bait and now it's a petty slap fight between them.

Angeal has his head in his hands. Is it embarrassment? Is it to hide his laughter? Only he knows…

Rufus shoots President Shinra and says "boop".

Somewhere in the chaos, Hojo's head falls on the floor with a dull thud and a deep, purring voice says “boop”.

#ff7 #sephiroth #zack fair #cloud strife #genesis rhapsodos #angeal hewley #lazard deusericus #die hojo die #boop!

[rosy-crow]

Hojo describing Twitter to Sephiroth like:

#i had to #i was rewatching the chapter scenes and bruh #ghjdks #he lowkey isn’t wrong lmao #Anyway PLEASE STOP MENTIONING HOJO GAME…I AM TERRIFIED #WHEN HE INEVITABLY SHOWS UP I AM GOING TO DIE #ff7 #sephiroth #hojo #ever crisis

[ryanthel0ser]

Maybe they'll make Vincent and Sephiroth related this time <- EXTREMELY delusional, need to see a doctor

#“but Hojo” Hojo can go suffer to repeatedly die for all eternity #all of this is his fault #Vincent as Sephi's dad AUs you hold me together #ff7 #ff7 remake #ff7 rebirth #ff7r #vincent valentine #sephiroth #final fantasy 7

[artzybirdy]

You're safe now...

Cloud comforting Zack after having a night terror

#myart #digital art #fanart #ff7 #zack fair #ff7 fanart #zack #final fantasy vii #cloud strife #zakkura #clack #angst #ff7 crisis core #crisis core #crisis core reunion #au #AU where Zack didn't die on the cliffside #but got captured by hojo and got experimented on #so now he is suffering from ptsd #to the point where he has night terrors often #so now he's afraid to fall asleep #but then cloud gives him some loving comfort to help him sleep :) #i know so edgy

[christine-ye]

Hibiki's Puzzlun cards appreciation post

#precure #pretty cure #suite precure #suite pretty cure #hibiki hojo #hojo hibiki #cure melody #i would die to wear her piano dress tbh

[fullbattleregalia]

When I’m writing, I don’t just have a Shoulder Angel and Shoulder Devil - I also have an Elbow Cthulhu, who elbows me in the ribs and goes, “You know how we could make this unnecessarily traumatic and dark?”

#elbow Cthulhu needs to stop showing up to my crack fics #hojo was just supposed to comedically die to a tonberry! #where did this angst come from? #bad elbow Cthulhu! #writing #shoulder angel #shoulder devil #fanfiction

[heraldofcrow]

How your FF7 friends look at me when Hojo is mentioned :/

WHEEZE

NOOO AJSHSBAA

Katy it’s funnier than that—these are looks of fear and anxiety. These are the knowing looks that if you ever got into FF7, you could possibly be one of the only 3.5 Hojo simps on the planet because he is basically just Micolash with better funding and the same creepy-goofy vibe amped up to 11 ajshddhdb, and there is nothing more terrifying, ESPECIALLY FOR ME 💀💀

CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE IF THIS WHOLE TIME, IF I HAD BEEN FAWNING OVER BLOODY CROW AND YOU HAD BEEN SIMPING FOR MICOLASH AND THEY WERE PARENT AND CHILD?!?

THERE IS NO TELLING WHAT KIND OF UNGODLY DASH WARS THIS COULD LEAD TO AND I AM SHAKILY GUARDING THIS POSSIBLE TIMELINE FOR THAT REASON

but also this would be so funny

So no, it is more like this:

(@cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme is the one smiling. He KNOWS of what could possibly be unleashed).

#this ask made me die laughing i can’t— #NO LOOKS OF JUDGEMENT BUT MERELY DREAD ANSHSBS #IT’S LIKE TEETERING ON THE EDGE OF A CLIFF #the ff7 squad both fears and admires you ajshdhd #you would be an unstoppable force but also a terrifying one (as usual) #like aldrich #damn #i am starting to see your point #(help) #asks #mutuals #hojo

[h0jos-f4vorite-t3stsubject]

After watching gameplay of the rebirth demo up until the Nibel fire event, I have so much to say and I apologize how deranged I'll sound. (This is long I'm sorry)

Firstly: ASGDKFGSLDOAHDKHD *unholy crying screaming breaking walls*

Secondly: I love Sephiroth, I love him so much I'm one of those annoying mfers that believes I'm married to him. It's just objectively true and no one can tell me otherwise I can fix him. This was the first time I was actually, genuinely, 100% scared of him. His fall from grace, his breakdown, the pure rage and sadness and betrayl was so palpable and so real. The 180 he did from a respectable and heroic man to a bloodthirsty monster devoid of all sympathy was just so good.

3: the remake trilogy has an iron grip on my heart with its devotion to bringing realism and emotion to the once unvoiced, pixelated polygons of the 90s. The way they made "Cloud" act like Zack, with his voice lines and mannerism is just so nice, and how it glitches with Cloud's actual memories of what he experienced going back home (going to his mom's, going through Tifa's house, crawling towards his mom's burning house. And can I just say, what a dick Sephiroth can be. "Run, Cloud. You have to leave. You have to live." Those were his mother's words in her final moments. And Sephiroth taunted Cloud with them in remake.

D: the little details and reworking of old details is just amazing. Seph finally being pissed and fed up with Gast as he's the one that started the project that created him. The flashes of my favorite and most hated old man Hojo during the breakdown sequence as that is Sephiroth's primary abuser. The text in the books he reads having details blacked out, which makes me think that pushed Sephiroth even more to the point of him not knowing Lucrecia was his mother. Because her name was blacked out. I suspect Hojo did this, either thinking in advance about Sephiroth finding those books or sending people out to hide the details months or weeks before he was shipped out.

Bonus: the trailers for rebirth has me on edge. Cloud attacking Tifa? Aerith not dying? Zack still alive in parallel timeline? Why does Marlene know what will happen to Aerith? Why does the man that made my username the way it is keep popping up more and more? What's Hojo's involvement in the story? Are we finally going to save Aerith? I have theories and predictions.

Bonus 1: I really hope we don't save Aerith. I love her, but literally she had to die. The entire game was created with the message of loss and love, how much time are you spending with those you care about before they eventually pass on. Aerith's death was a sudden and sad one, but at the end of the game it was ultimately her and her influence in the lifestream that saved the planet (and I firmly believe that!! In the original game, Holy did what it could, but Meteor was stronger. The lifestream had to spawn and push it back, and it was stronger because of Aerith, her face showing up at the end of the game has me believing that. Literally she had to die or else the planet would die). Taking something as essential and plot driven as her death, while it'll be a twist, it ruins the message of the game of spending what little time you have left with your loved ones. I'd actually be more happy if Aerith was saved and then she turns and goes "What have you done? This wasn't supposed to happen. You shouldn't have saved me. You doomed us all."

Bonus 2: if the theory of the Sephiroth at the end of remake being a Sephiroth that is hyper aware of the timeline and trying to help us (the whole "Seven Seconds" thing being him warning Cloud of what to look out for), I have a strong feeling he might be on our side. Why else would he have his own playable section in the rebirth demo with his own character equip animations? Yes, I know he was playable in the og 7, but he wasn't as playable as this. Og didn't have the synergy mechanic either. Why does Cloud or "Cloud" have synergy with Sephiroth if it's just going to be wasted on one section of the game? I hope Sephiroth officially joins our party and becomes a whole playable endgame character.

Bonus 3: Hojo. The man, the trashy, the worst thing that has ever happened to the story of 7. His constant grip on the narrative so far has me thinking that we might actually get to see him at his peak. He's the center of everything, the fall of Sephiroth, the death of Vincent, the tragedy of Lucrecia, the start of the death of Zack. Hojo being aware of the whispers from remake, him seeing Sephiroth on his monitor, him laughing when Jenova's body was stolen, his little line in the rebirth trailer "This is the beginning of the end". Hojo knows something we don't and might be a more powerful villain because he's either planned ahead or worked in the details of this new timeline bullshit. Plus, with the intergrade dlc and its ties with deepground, I think Hojo will have a much MUCH bigger part to play with the remake trilogy and just maybe a Dirge of Cerberus remake. I can't wait to see how they build up my favorite lab rat.

#I feel like a lot of people wouldn't like that I say Aerith has to die #but I mean #Im the autistic one that literally changed my name to be that of the protagonist of the game #im the video game boy! #im the one who wins! #i will fist fight (not really) anyone behind the 711 over my opinions over this game compilation #also yes i love Sephiroth and Hojo equally i can fix seph and make hojo worse they both just need some good head /j #final fantasy vii #ffvii #final fantasy vii rebirth

[asknarashikari]

Emu, after a long night of playing FNAF, accidentally refers to Kuroto as the "Purple Guy"

Everyone knows exactly who he's referring to and starts referring to him in that way in earshot, if only to give the guy a taste of his own medicine by annoying the fuck out of him

#kamen rider ex-aid #hojo emu #dan kuroto #dan kuroto can go die in a ditch #ask #exfidefiducia

[the-tubort]

Every now and then I'll remember the scene in the Kamen Rider Brave special where Asakura fucking assaults Emu full on with a metal pole and dunking his head into a can full of broken glass for no reason other than because he's Asakura and he's just like that

#kamen rider ex aid #asakura takeshi #emu hojo #that special was so weird #i dont know what they were thinking with that one #emu got so beaten up in that special it ridiculous #like even after the fight is done emu is still shown in a lot of bandages and shit #how did emu not die from blunt force trauma

[topdisease]

ROUND ONE TIEBREAKER POLLS

Kuruto Ryuki (AI: The Somnium Files) vs Professor Hojo (Final Fantasy 7)

Shin Tsukimi (Your Turn to Die) vs Silver the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog)

Polling will start Wednesday, April 5, at 3:00 pm CST!!

#tumblrs top diseased 2k23 #tumblr polls #kuruto ryuki #ai the somnium files #professor hojo #final fantasy vii #ffvii #shin tsukimi #your turn to die #silver the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog

[salternateunreality2]

Cloud breaks a foot and becomes a taller terror (AGSZC)

From the @strayheartless archives <3

---

Cloud: *hobbling around on a broken foot*

Zack: NOPE *picks him up by surprise*

Cloud: CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP

Zack: OUCH! Cloud wait wait hold up wait...you can be tall now!

Cloud: RAGE.EXE

(But he does take it to heart and enjoys being tall, and eventually gets handed off to Sephiroth)

—--

Cloud: *flipping people off from his perch on Sephiroth* 

Angeal: Cloud, no. 

Cloud: Cloud yes. *Flips off Hojo from Sephiroth's arms* If Hojo dares do anything, Protectiveroth will be activated.

Zack: Great, now I can go get my BITE WOUNDS TREATED .

Cloud: *haughty sniff* I’m not the one who chose to sneak up on me. That sounds like a you problem. *keeps flipping off Hojo*

-

Sephiroth: Would holding Masamune make being unable to walk freely more tolerable? 

Cloud: Yes.

Kunsel: I'll start the popcorn. 

Angeal: ??? 

Genesis: Remember: extra butter 

Angeal: ??? 

Cloud, riding his noble Steediroth: *slash stab slice*

Angeal: WAIT NO

Cloud: *goblin noises*

Sephiroth: *giant grin*

#ff7 #sephiroth #zack fair #cloud strife #die hojo die

[bandofseven]

hi i used to be @hireikotsu but i cannot get back into my account lol

trying to find old and new inuyasha friends!! :3 

#inuyasha #band of seven #anime #anime 2000s #im rewatching rn i would die for bankotsu still idk about u #still anti hojo

[anakinh]

thought prompted by a caption on a gifset: ff7 remake aerith gainsborough saying stuff like “shinra isn’t the real enemy” and “the turks aren’t bad people”, while technically kinda true, is very much something a billion dollar company making NFTs and blockchain games would say and i fucking hate it

#oooh shinra isn't the real enemy the turks are good guys really~ #okay first of all the turks are corporate hitmen. the turks are assassins for big oil. #second of all if you defeat sephiroth and shinra's still there your planet's STILL GONNA DIE AERITH #who MADE sephiroth aerith??? who made him?? #me.txt #negativity #??? #i guess there's just a lack of nuance. like. shinra and sephiroth can both be bad and both be enemies #the turks aren't fundamentally evil but they are still very much corporate hitmen #and realistically she's just saying that sephiroth is the greater threat at the moment and they can always deal with shinra later #but the way it's worded makes me so annoyed #i guess there's also a lot of minimizing shinra's bullshit both in fandom and in uh. crisis core. #and that annoys me #like people saying 'oh hojo's the worst guy in ff7! shinra's bullshit is because of him!' WHO FUNDED HIM #also i'm probably just salty and easily looking at the worst interpretation b/c of the squeenix nft bull #anyway the turks are hitmen for big oil and SOLDIER is a standing army for big oil that invaded a sovereign nation #all of them are war criminals and that includes zack end rant #okay negate that end rant #not that ff7 was ever a good corporate critique or ever a small indie game. remake actually added more nuance AND made shinra worse #but aerith saying that makes me fear for the next two(?) games #...ironically i think ff7 could've been a better (or at least more focused theme-wise) game without sephiroth or jenova #since they completely derailed the cyberpunk dystopia into cosmic horror #but i straight up would not've been interested in it #i guess sephiroth would've still been there but as their top enforcer instead of half cosmic horror. #i guess i would still be kinda interested in that

[artzybirdy]

You're safe now... PT 2

He's been awake for hours trying to get Zack to fall asleep.

#myart #digital art #ff7 #ff7 fanart #zack fair #zack #final fantasy vii #cloud strife #fanart #ff7 rebirth #final fantasy rebirth #for those that haven't seen the first post this is an AU where Zack doesn't die but gets captured and tortured. #Which leaves him with severe PTSD and anxiety #zack has many nightmares/night terrors to the point he's afraid to sleep alone #Hojo manipulated Zacks mind into thinking that Zack was a #monster and that Cloud was dead because of him #But Cloud found him in an abandoned lab #brought him home and is trying to fix the damage that has already been done.... #this is so angsty holy shit #yolo

[ushiromiyacestcentral]

Designs for a Higuneko x YTTD AU from the left and right are Rika Maria Satoko and Ange

#YTTD #your turn to die #higuneko YTTD AU #Higurashi #Umineko #higuneko #Rika furude #maria ushiromiya #satoko hojo #ange ushiromiya