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falasta · 3 years

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I saw Cats in Las Vegas Oct. 15th evening, and Oct. 16 matinee and evening.

Here is my review! (spoilers: I loved it!)

This production is obviously the Broadway Revival, which was based on Gillian Lynn’s choreography, but also adapted by Andy Blankenbuehler. I don’t want to focus on anything negative, so I’ll just get this out of the way: The non-Gillian parts are so blatantly obvious it’s painful. I’m sure Blankenbuehler is a talented choreographer, but he absolutely did not understand “Cats”, or the type of dance, movement, and staging that Gillian Lynne created.

On the to the good parts!

I have never seen the stage production because when I was a child in the 80s/90s and Cats was super popular, I was TERRIFIED of the actors! We went to a show once when I was a kid which included the first part of Cats—where they come out into the audience? I remember just hating it, because to me they didn’t look like cats. They looked like creepy clown like people pretending to be cats. They looked scary and weird and didn’t like that they were crawling over the theater. So I never actually got to see the whole production. Thanks, younger me!

As soon as I understood the characters and the story and watched the dancing, the designs didn’t look so menacing or strange.

Seeing the show live is SO MUCH FUN‼ The lights go out and all the crazy cat eyes pop up all over the stage and it really looks like actual cats hiding in there and then the overture really gets going and you can feel the music in the floor and it’s absolutely awesome. I was riveted the whole time.

The first production I was really lucky to score tickets in the 5th row! The second and third performance I was a little farther away. Both were great—sitting close was amazing on so many levels, and you get closer to the cats since they don’t come out into the audience anymore. Sitting further back gave a nice view of the performance as a whole (and I lucked out on this one, because it was an aisle seat, and no one was sitting in front of me to block my view). So I think I got the best of both worlds :)

This was also the first week the Smith Center was open since Covid, so the audience was just so happy to be there! Part of what was fun about this production is that a lot of the audience had season subscriptions and apparently Cats was automatically included. So you could tell how surprised and happy they were to discover it. Though two of the nights I was there I lost the people sitting next to me after intermission. I had the cutest conversation with a group of elderly people sitting next to me who had never seen Cats and after the first ACT wanted to know which Cat was with so we went through the program together and they were SO impressed with my “expert” knowledge. It was the sweetest! 😊

ACT I

These people can SING‼ Seriously, I was incredibly impressed with the quality of the vocals both of the individual performers and the chorus. Big credit to the booth singers as well.

Myla dances a very beautiful and feline solo. Paul swoops in to open the ball and he has a great voice!

Devon is a very smiley and enthusiastic Munkustrap and projects very well! The “Man over there” part was great because Skimble literally points at a member of the audience and he and Munkustrap are both SO OFFENDED!

The Gumbi cat’s outfit was amazing and she had sparkly tap shoes which I now covet. It was Gracie Anderson all three nights and she did a lovely job! The tapping is so much fun. The cutest part of the number was watching Misto twining softly around Jenny while she is “sitting and sitting” and very gently waving his paw in front of her face. Paul’s Misto is the sweetest, softest, cutest Misto you could ever imagine. He was all over the stage interacting with everyone during all the numbers. He was so catlike and I adored him.

OK. Zach Bravo. He really is incredible as Tugger. He has a huge presence on stage (he’s really tall!), and gives 110% every time I saw him. He leaps out of stage large than life and continues to utterly dominate his entire solo. You can tell he’s having an absolute blast the entire time, and goes all out. Whenever he’s on stage, even in the background, he looks like he’s having the time of his life. Lots of hip action, wiggles, shimmies (this Tugger LOVES his shimmies!). I know he’s said that his favorite Tugger is John Partridge and it shows. He makes the part his own, but definitely portrays a sexual energy and it was tons of fun because HE was having so much fun. Shimmies at the sky, the mirror, the Cats, and absolutely the audience. Also he can really dance too (does a fantastic double pirouette) so his movements are quick and fluid.

His Tugger just comes across as being so happy. That enormous smile we’ve all seen on his videos is on his face pretty much the entire show. He did really well with the new staging! I know people aren’t thrilled with the mirrors/focus on Tugger’s vanity, but it doesn’t come across that way at all. Zach’s Tugger is just so thrilled to be Tugger and needs no external validation! He does a little dance with pretty much every Queen ... AND Misto!! (You cannot believe how adorable and soft this Misto is). The Tuggoffelees is palpable—in a very sweet, wholesome way. I desperately wish I had a video of his entire number.

Grizabella. Taylor Harris. I was lucky enough to be really close to the stage the first night and her acting and facial expressions are perfect. She definitely has the strongest makeup of all the cats, and I could see all her facial expressions. She looked completely broken, beaten down—she almost looked beaten up. And then her VOICE! Guys, this woman can SING! She has an exquisite voice, and she knows how to use it—very nuanced and expressive. I enthralled every single time. I’ve heard the recording of Memory on the trailer and somehow it just doesn’t capture what I heard on the stage? Truly, she was magnificent in every way and I think the big highlight of the show. Which is interesting because I’m kind of used to ignoring Grizabella? But you can’t ignore Taylor. She’s too good.

Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer—Max Craven and Kelly Donah--did a great job! This number impresses me almost more than any other—like how do you sing AND dance AND do acrobatics AND do comedic acting all at the same time?? My only disappointment—NO DOUBLE CARTWHEELS! Why would you take them away???

Demeter was fantastic—very feline, phenomenal voice. And she had properly spiky, wild hair. And holy cow the chorus moments from “Old Deuteronomy”. Again, this cast can SING!!

Jellicle Ball—awesome in person. Some changes which severely annoyed me: The Toms were cut from Bomba’s number, they didn’t get their solo, and Tugger didn’t get to lead in his group, which is SUCH a shame because this Tugger can dance! However, the women did a fantastic job and looked amazing! Also no ballet section for my ballet boys! These dancers are so amazing I was sad they didn’t get a chance to show it off. But it was still fun and just listening to the music and watching everyone dance is amazing. HUGE applause when they were done. Stand out dancers were Alonzo, Plato, and Misto.

There is this beautiful and heartbreaking moment during the Jellicle Ball when everyone is leaning back to soak in the moonlight, and a soft spotlight shines on Grizabella as she leans back too ... and then catches herself as her back gives out.

Victoria and Plato were beyond adorable. Myla and Aiden Pressel? Are beautiful and talented dancers. They spend some time together during the lead up to the ball and I actually loved it. And this Plato can dance! There’s a part where Plato circles Victoria while she’s posing and gives her a look, and then basically just grabs her and hoists her up and it’s seriously like 👀 . They included the original beautiful lift as well. During the sensuals section no one does anything but lie down and put their arms in the air (they don’t even wave them) and take a 1 sec. nap before Grizabella interrupts.

Grizabella comes out and tries to dance and then sings Memory and it is amazing (and straight from the original choreo).

Intermission:

The little old lady (sorry—it’s just that’s the only way I can characterize her—and it’s meant as a compliment because she was awesome) next to me—who was wearing a mask with kittens on it—was looking at the program with a man who turned out to be her brother, wondering what names belonged to each cat. So I went down the program and explained each one:

“Munkustrap is the silver striped one. “With the wonderful voice?” “Yes! He’s the narrator and protector”

“Bombalurina is the red one. Demeter is the black and yellow one with the spiky hair who you saw in the car headlights. They are going to sing a song together in the next act.”

“Sillabub is the little one with the spiky hair and red” “The one with the wonderful soprano?” “Yes!”

“Cassandra is the one with the slim brown costume” “The athletic one!” “Yes :)”

They REALLY liked The Rum Tum Tugger!!

And so on. There were like four of them pouring over the program with me (each assuring me they were triple vaccinated–which was required for the theater, by the way) and they were SO impressed. Was I a theater person? Did used to be in Cats? How did I possess all this amazing knowledge? Me: um, I just ... really like the show?

One of the women: “You are a Cats junkie then!” And then they all nod enthusiastically like they were so excited and happy to find the right word!

We end up talking about our cats “Are you owned by a cat?” And then my career, Covid, all sorts of things, and then the lady next to me leans over and says “Good for you for coming by yourself! I should do that more often.”

Act II:

Old Deuteronomy has a lovely voice (and so does Jemima)! An adorable sweetheart of a Jemima. I was sad they changed the way the twins help channel for Jemima (here they do a weird dance and tap her on the shoulder), but the Moments of Happiness and the chorus singing “Memory” is still one of my favorite parts of the play.

When the cats stand up during “Memory” while the music swells—which gives me chills every time—Munkustrap takes this deep breath and gets this beatific look on his face and it is so beautiful! Also Gus looks super happy which makes my heart go 🥺

I couldn’t remember exactly when but sometime during the show there is this darling moment when Tugger goes to sit next to Old D and Old D starts gently stroking his mane just like you would stroke the hair of a child.

John Anker Bow, who plays Bustopher and Gus, has a phenomenal and experienced voice. I thoroughly enjoyed listening to him every time. His Gus was fantastic! I saw two Jellyorums: Kayli Jamison and Kellian DeCarlo. They both did such a wonderful job. Exquisite voices and really sweet acting between Gus and Jellyorum. They have Gus narrate Pekes and Pollicles, which annoyed me at first because that is Munkustrap’s Big Moment, but Gus was so fantastic I really enjoyed it. Honestly his acting and singing for Gus and narrator for P&P were very expressive and very well done! The part I missed about Pekes and Pollicles was the utter chaos and Munkustrap just getting so close to Losing It. Also NO BAGPIPES!!?? Travesty. But it was still fun.

Skimbleshanks! I saw two Skimbles: Brian Craig Nelson and Christopher Salvaggio, and both were excellent! Pretty much everything is original to the original staging and so much fun in person! I was seriously disappointed no one else in the audience was bopping their heads ... like how could you not? Misto was the light at the head of the train and he was bouncing and bopping with his whole body and it was SO CUTE!!

... and then – Macavity!

So one of my nitpicks was that I wasn’t really feeling a connection between Demeter and Bomba. This was a staging issue—they stay apart during “Remark the cat” and don’t even look at each other. Chelsea Nicole Mitchell as Bomba has deep, sultry, perfect voice. The Macavity number was great (and mostly left alone), except that they changed part of the choreography at the end. Huge applause (well deserved). The little old lady sitting next to me starts whistling and it’s the best thing ever.

I’m on the fence about revival Macavity—I thought I would like it more than I did? I think part of the problem was that the choreo was so staged—everyone does exactly the same thing and there’s a lot of “matchy-matchy” in his and Munk’s fight. But Macavity himself just looks so feral and terrifying! The moment when shorts out the lights really is terrifying and thrilling in the theater! Aiden Pressel gets major props for being just a spectacular dancer in both his roles.

This theater is U-shaped with boxes and tiers around all the sides, so having the spotlight go all the way around was fantastic and properly creepy because it highlighted everyone sitting in the boxes. There is a lot of “space” involved while watching this in the theater that was removed from the film (because of the medium). This was one of them.

Paul did a fantastic job as Misto. The choreography has been completely altered. He actually does sing about half of his own song, and he has a really nice voice! He and Zach had a great connection. BUT—NO EXPLOSIONS! I was so sad! He does his turns, but not 24 all at one time. But the dancing was great and singing was great and it was lots of fun. He and Tugger hug right after he brings back Old Deuteronomy (and after he gets his Old D hugs 🥺) and then Tugger holds his hand when they all come together to do the bows and whether you "ship" them romantically or platonically it's so, so sweet!!

When the spotlight is shining down on Misto at the end of his song he very carefully pats it smaller and smaller, and then leans forward and very gently blows it away. It was gorgeous watching this from the side of the orchestra. One of my absolutely favorite moments (you don’t get to see this on the 1998 film)

Grizabella comes out and is spectacular during “Memory” (again, both her acting and voice are impeccable), and then my favorite part as everyone starts singing “Up, up, up” and she goes to the Heaviside Layer and it’s so, so beautiful and moving and I almost cry!

Then we have to sit through Addressing of Cats. Which I DON’T hate. It’s actually lovely and this Deuteronomy does a wonderful job. I think I would be happier if it was cut in half. But the ending is amazing and the audience goes nuts and every performance they get a standing ovation! Big cheers for every single performer. Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer come out with Teazer riding on Jerrie’s back swinging her tail. Tugger take a big leap and slides across the floor and flirts shamelessly with the audience and gets the biggest cheer. The bows end with Zach shimmies before he disappears and it all ends on a happy and upbeat note!

#long post!#Cats US Tour 6 #Cats review

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natromanxoff · 3 years

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Queen live at Civic Auditorium Arena in Omaha, NE, USA - September 13, 1980

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Fan Stories

“I don't know if anyone has ever been able to appreciate a rock concert as much as I did when I saw Queen at age 7. I knew the order the songs were supposed to be in, the way the stage was supposed to look, and what the band was supposed to do. And everything happened perfectly. Except for that damn mustache. Late summer 1980, I was pestering my mom to take me into town to get candy. She said, "Do you really want to get candy, or would you rather get tickets to see Queen?" I stopped in my tracks and started being the nicest boy you could imagine. I thought maybe she was kidding, but knew she wouldn't kid me about something like that. I guess my dad had already OKd it too. Like Axl Rose once said about Queen: "They meant everything to me." We drove all the way to Omaha to get tickets: they were $9 in advance, or $11 the day of the show if still available (though now I'm not sure how they weren't sold out immediately). I'm still not quite sure why Queen was playing smaller arenas at that point, since I think they had already begun playing stadiums. Finally, September 13 arrived. I was in 2nd grade. Ads had been all over the radio for this concert. One of my baby-sitters and two of her friends rode up with us also, and they went off on their own when we got there. The show was one of those infamous "general admission" things, so our seats depended solely on how early we arrived. I think we got to the arena at about 9 am... almost a full 12 hours before the show actually started (much longer in 7-year-old hours). A single word, "QUEEN", was boldly displayed on the marquee above the many doors where small lines were beginning to form. Excited bands of people were running/gathering everywhere. Queen was one of the biggest five bands in the world at that time: "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" was on the charts, The Game had just been released, and "Another One Bites the Dust" was soon-to-be released as a single. We picked one of the lines and got ready for what was indeed halfway dangerous: the growing mob of people ready to run in when the doors would open. This was a big issue of the time, as it was the year before that 11 people were crushed to death at the turnstiles of a Who concert. (An episode of the TV show W.K.R.P. in Cincinnati even focused on this.) People were starting to press onto the transparent doors trying to look inside, when suddenly there was the sound of tires screeching from the street: a white limousine honked twice and sped around the corner toward the other side of the arena, and was gone within seconds. The "big kids" screamed and ran after it; I was too small to do this, but we got better places in line! When everyone came back, they said they actually saw Freddie and John get out of it and be scuffled into the building before getting attacked by the mob of people. In the meantime, others around us were starting to talk to my mom. Two of them were a man and a lady who were apparently on date, and they ended up even staying by and sitting by us through the show. Some other people also offered to kind of stay around my mom and I to make sure I'd be safe on the way in. A couple of times, a big fat drunk guy yelled out, "Who's your favorite group?" and of course everyone yelled "Queen!"

Now people were beginning to bang on the doors of the entrance. I think the doors finally opened at around 11 am. When they did, we and other people from several sides of the arena moved in, towards those coming in from other doors on opposite sides: within seconds, everyone had funneled from outside to stopping cold in the lobby, having basically run into each other. This is exactly where everyone stayed for the next two hours. A human shield of several people were intact around my mom and I preventing my being crushed... and all I could see for two hours were a bunch of butts! Once in awhile someone would try and lift me up to see all the people. From the distance, the drunk guy again repeated the "Who's your favorite band?" line a couple of times, realizing that more people could hear him now that he was indoors and echoing, and everyone gave the appropriate response. By the fifth time, only the drunk people were responding to him, and by the tenth time people were laughing and moaning. Every so often, some loud music would come out of the arena like a band was tuning-up, but it wasn't Queen music so everyone figured it was just the opening act. At 1 pm, the turnstiles were finally opened. I was kind of keeping my guard around me as everyone pressed forward, and everything was moving faster the closer we got, but by surveying the area I thought I'd be safe. I had my ticket in my hand. The guy from the couple was going to try and enter first, then me, and then my mom. When I got to the turnstiles, my mom and the guy grabbed my arms on both sides and completely hoisted me over. A surprised old man tore my ticket while I was in mid-air. Suddenly, we were standing relatively calmly inside: the difficult part was over, and we were at least safe from here on out. People were still running everywhere and screaming, but the hallways were pretty big so it wasn't too dangerous as long as we stayed toward the edge. Most people were still outside, since we were somewhat early. An older 12-year-old tore around the corner, then his '70s-style tennis shoes screeched against the floor and he fell down for a second as he decided to which way to go. We knew we were sort of on a mission to walk fast toward a balcony and just get seats instead of wandering around indecisively like others. We went straight up toward the second level balcony, as others ran the opposite way down to the main floor. My mom and I and the people we'd befriended walked right next to the wall, and I pressed against it while just a few feet away scattered groups of people would sometimes run by full-speed. I would have wanted to be on the main floor, but my mom had previously explained to me how, unless we were in the balcony, we would have to actually stand through the whole show (there weren't any chairs on the main floor) and would hardly be able to see anything. Plus, along with the horror stories of people running in at the beginning of a rock concert, I had also heard how people supposedly got crushed to death against the stage... so sitting in the balcony was just fine with me. We got two seats in the front of the second balcony, just by the railing to the balcony below. We were on the right side of the arena, about halfway back, so we couldn't complain. Now, I knew this was the beginning of the biggest wait: sitting in the same spot from 1 in the afternoon to about 9 at night.

The main parts of the stage I liked (from viewing the pictures in my Live Killers album) were intact: the steps were lined with lights under Roger's drums, and middle of the main stage had a small plank stage that stuck out for Freddie to walk on, where the crowd could touch him but not too easily. Most of the instruments, and all of Roger's drum set, were covered in giant sheets of plastic. I'd never seen such big speakers; I had a flashback when I saw the black and white photo to the right because that's what they looked like with the house lights up. Throughout the afternoon, the lights in the arena would go out, then come back on... like we were being teased. Finally when it was about time for the opening band, the lights went off longer than usual and the band took the stage. The opening band was someone we had never heard of, and my mom and I both can't even remember who it was now (two people have e-mailed me saying it was a band called "Dakota"). I don't think they had any hits, and then apparently disappeared soon after. The crowd tolerated the first two or three songs. Then, every song ended with "Just one more song!" much to the audience's vocal dismay. I went on a trip to the bathroom, and they were still playing when I came back. Then they left. Ten minutes later, they came back and said "Just one more song!" and I think they played three. People were yelling, "We want Queen!" People were getting harsh to the point it was just uncomfortable even seeing the band on the stage. Everyone cheered when they left. The lights came back on. Another two hours. Just seeing them walk across the stage would have been enough for me, so at that age I really couldn't comprehend being in their presence for a whole two-hour concert. This wait was easier though because every second we knew the show could start. Seeing Queen still seemed like it was too good to be true, like some act of God would occur just before the show to prevent it. Then, the lights went out. There's no feeling like the wait in total darkness just before a Queen concert. It was 10 minutes of black and the loudest screaming I'd ever heard. I remember it was "scary" and so I think Brian might have also been playing the weeping guitar sound like the beginning of the We Will Rock You concert video. It was a good scary feeling though, like going up the first hill of a roller coaster. After several minutes of intense darkness and the crowd screaming, when I felt like my ears didn't have room for any more sound to enter (though I loved it), the even louder sound of thunder clapped across the arena with an incredibly blinding light. I could see everyone on the main floor have to turn completely around in unison toward the back of the arena because the lights were so bright. I kept trying to glance at the stage to see what was happening, but it was too bright to see anything... plus, in between the flashes, it was too dark to see anything. It was sort of an unnerving state, being totally blinded in that big of a place with that many people, and coming to the realizaton that it would be unthinkable to actually move around and that we were basically helpless. I was holding my mom's hand. Queen had the whole crowd paralyzed in their tracks before the show even began.

I'm not sure if the lights all rose up like in the We Will Rock You video or not (since we couldn't see), or if they were already raised because of the opening band. Eventually the thunder and noise turned to music. Finally, through my wincing, Freddie Mercury was suddenly in front of my own little eyes on the front extended stage in all the smoke. I'd never even seen a celebrity in person before, much less my idol at the time. I didn't think they would open with the fast version of "We Will Rock You" for some reason, since that's at the beginning of the Live Killers album and I thought they would want to do something different, but was surprised that they opened with a non-Queen song: "Jailhouse Rock". The stage looked similar to that in the We Will Rock You concert video, with the smaller panels of lights replacing the single giant panel from previous tours; however, I'm certain there was at least another entire, higher level of moving lights (not only from seeing them at the concert, but also looking at the pictures for years afterwards). The lights in the We Will Rock You video seem extremely cut-back. Instead of one row of panels of lights across the back of the stage, the panels were all over the place and the ones above the band moved straight up and down on poles and tilted back and forth. There were also little men somehow sitting amongst the panels who manually operated at least a dozen spotlights, and more guys doing this from a small section hanging down from the ceiling at the middle of the arena. Since the spotlights were directed from the top of the arena, there wasn't a big bulky spotlight booth in the middle of the main floor taking up space, and the audio booth was placed along the right side of the arena (down not to far from us) so it wasn't in anyone's way. In the darkness between a lot of the songs, flashlights darted around the stage... we couldn't figure out if it was the band or engineers setting things up. Thankfully, no one came out on stage before the show to announce the band (I've always thought this is really cheesy). Freddie had on those red leather pants with the blue knee-pads... and, unfortunately, that ugly mustache! "What do you think about my new mustache?" Freddie asked. (Mixed applause.) "Some people don't like it, but I just say 'fu** 'em.'" (Crowd goes wild.). Freddie drank some water, then tossed the rest out onto the crowd along with his cup. He tossed his tambourine out later, and I couldn't imagine what it would actually be like to touch it. Freddie also had that long silver microphone stand that he always danced around with in the videos. He was running all over the place; one second he was on the plank at our side of the arena, the next at the other side. The three high school girls who rode up with us were excited because when he went to the end of one of the planks he ended up level and close to them in the balcony (but upset because, had one not been on crutches, they would have stayed on the main floor where Freddie tossed his tambourine!). Once or twice I remember looking into the middle of the arena and some kind of explosion occurred in mid-air (apparently launched from the lighting duct at the top of the arena). There weren't that many lighters in the audience, but instead everyone was using those green glow-sticks that come out around Halloween (I think these were new at the time). The audience kept throwing their green glow sticks up on the stage until at times it was covered, and more than once Brian kicked off some back into the audience (and I think he might have been getting upset but I'm not sure!).

There were numerous parts of the show I knew had to be there... and they all were. The first was the "scary" sound effects and section of "Get Down, Make Love", where Queen showed off their lights. (At that age, I thought the erotic sound effects were simply supposed to represent the monster breaking-in on the cover of News of the World). Smoke shrouded the band, as the panels of lights took over and moved around to the audience's ooohs and aaahs. My mom and I were trying to figure out what was on Roger's bass drum, since it didn't look like an album cover; it turned out to be the white "face" design, also in the We Will Rock You video. Back then, concerts didn't have big video screens, so we just had to use the binoculars that we'd brought. Some spotlights were gathering on Freddie and Brian as they went to sit on two stools toward the right of the stage, and my mom got excited because we knew "Love of My Life" was coming. Freddie announced, "This is our first time in Omaha... " as the song started, and got the crowd to sing along like on the Live Killers album. Meanwhile, I had become a source of info for those around who wanted to know what the songs were; every time a new song would start, people would ask me what it was! I really don't know if anyone has ever actually been able to appreciate a concert as much as I did that night: I was only 7, but had every album except the first two, and knew every song they played except maybe two or three. But what's interesting is how fans often wish they could experience how a "classic" band was 20 years prior... and this is strangely how I felt I was experiencing the show, because at my age it seemed like Queen had been around 20 years. There were parts of the show, including the stage design, that were "legendary" to me, but were only 2-3 years old in reality. Now, 20 years later, they're legendary to everyone else. Periodically, the guy next to me changed the tape in his "hidden" tape recorder. We knew the show was close to the end when "Bohemian Rhapsody" began. Everyone clapped to the pre-recorded opera section, and as the Live Killers liner notes say: "The audience and the lights take care of the rest." The crowd went nuts when Roger hit the famous gong at the end.

I think there were two or three more songs, and then everything went black for about 10 minutes. Could it be that they were actually not going to play the standard "We Will Rock You/We Are the Champions/God Save the Queen" closing? The house lights may have even come on for awhile, then went back off. A few people were starting to leave, and I kept telling my mom that they had to end the concert that way, because that's the only way a Queen concert ends... but then even I was having doubts. Finally, the yellow lights around the gong all turned on, pointing directly on Roger, who started the drums of "We Will Rock You" and everyone stomped their feet and clapped. Of course "We Are the Champions" was next, and Freddie shook some of the hands flailing in front of the stage while singing it. I remember there was one hand jumping up and down that never got shook! Freddie bent his neck way back when he sang "... of the world!" at the very end like I knew he was supposed to from videos on TV, and we hoped for another song but knew that was probably going to be it. A grand finale of Queen's famous pyrotechnics began shooting everywhere from the stage, the lights were all moving around, and everyone was jumping all over in the aisles. Soon the pre-recorded Night at the Opera version of "God Save the Queen" did begin playing...but, nobody really sang to it since this is America and no one knows the words! At this point, I tried to make sure I was truly fathoming what it was like to actually see the band members in front of me since they'd be gone soon. Freddie was still dancing around and danced out a little door behind the drums, and the rest of the band followed one-by-one, with John being last as he waved to everybody one last time. The lights flickered and moved some more to the rest of the song, slowly going dark along with the rest of the arena, with the final rise of the crowd's applause. Perfect. Except for that damn mustache. We walked down what seemed like endless spiraling stairs on the way out...extremely slowly this time. My ears had that weird "ringing" feeling like everyone said I'd have, but that I'd never experienced before. Spotlights were panning the sky outside. We said goodbye to the couple we'd been with during the show. A guy in his late 20s started talking to us on the long way out; he laughed and told me how he'd also had to argue with his mom who said Queen would never come to Omaha. My mom asked him if he thought I'd even remember the whole thing since I was so little. He looked down at me, saw my grin from ear-to-ear, and said, "He'll never forget this."” - Jim

#queen #queen band #roger taylor #freddie mercury #brian may #john deacon #queen concerts

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sanstropfremir · 3 years

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would love to hear ur thoughts re. these street woman fighter's performances and who you would personally vote as the "better dance crew" in how they interpreted each other choreos and the song.

this was for their first elimination round (ep4) and it was interesting to hear from the judges + why they gave the points they did. (i'm not entirely sure if you're watching the show's episodes. they are roughly 2 hours long. so if you would like more context, pls let me know! i wrote brief comments underneath each one as well as the winners [spoilers ahead!]. assuming you are not: for this mission, each crew is paired with another crew and they have to choreograph one of the soloist songs. songs were "split" into two parts: part one [would be one song] and part two [another song]; one crew would choreograph one part and follow the other's crew choreograph for the other part.)

1. boa - eat you up (want choreo) + better (ygx choreo). dance crews: ygx vs want

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gCfK_qWAhM0&ab_channel=MnetTV

winner: ygx. boa gave 151 pts to ygx and 49 pts to want (the biggest gap in points between crews), sharing that although want choreographed eat you up, ygx was more cohesive (pointing to how want wore hats and it was messy). additionally, ygx had better stage presence and was able to capture the camera more. also, because ygx is the only crew to have a b-girl and use it in their routine, the judges applauded want for doing the best they can.

2. cl - doctor pepper (wayb) + hello bitches (prowdmon). dance crews: prowdmon vs wayb

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEEpZ9SrvaE&ab_channel=MnetTV

winner: prowdmon. judges shared that doctor pepper's routine is a trademark of wayb and that they should have been the standout. however, they felt like prowdmon did it better.

3. hyuna - crazy (4minute) (coca n butter) + i'm not cool (hook) + lip and hip (hook). dance crews: hook vs coca n butter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1ikpPKEA30&ab_channel=MnetTV

winner: hook. the two dance crews are VERY different in terms of style. coca n butter is described to be more hip-hop while hook is definitely more reflective of the current/newer trends. (when hook was first introduced in the show, they were known as the crew who was famous only for tiktok dances.) the judges shared that hook was more fun and interesting, given their stylistic choice of wearing the pink wigs. whereas it seemed for coca n butter, they felt like something was lacking (they showed something but it didn't feel they did.)

4. jessi - what type of xx (lachica) + nununa (holybang) + gucci (holybang). dance crews: holybang vs lachica

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtZzI11oyqc&ab_channel=MnetTV

winner: lachica. (this was the only battle where both crews came in v close pts. whereas for the other crews, there were huge point-gaps.) judges had a hard time choosing, sharing that for lachica they were more detail-oriented while holybang had better teamwork.

imo, i agree with the judges' choices. though i would have to say i think wayb did their routine (doctor pepper) better than prowdmon. they stood out to me then, but when it came to the second part (hello bitches), prowdmon was better. i loved lachica's performance - it was v clean + reminded me of something a kpop group would do (which like, the crew largely works with kpop acts like chungha, boa's better, etc. so it makes sense).

this was LONG. thank u if u do read it and post! i miss the kingdom "era" when u would post weekly reviews. the two are v different but this new mnet competition show is the only one i'm invested in. i'm not sure if it's big internationally? i know it is v popular in korea right now. while i've only seen i-fans talk about the show as it relates to chaeyeon (want) because she's an idol. - swf (streetwomanfighter) anon :]

omg this is so long and well organized, forget me writing reviews anon you should do it!! i'm not currently watching the full episodes but i've been catching the few clips that pop up in my youtube recommended occasionally, so i definitely don't have all the context but i'll take a crack at it!

ok so my assumption/from what i can tell, they have a bit of leeway to alter the competing group's choreo as needed to better suit numbers and formations. i also went and found the individual versions of these because why did they make them so small on the split screen, don't they know i'm old and wear glasses. also: MNET FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY STOP MOVING THE FUCKING CAMERA. WE DO NOT NEED SCROLLING VERTICAL BOOM SHOTS OF THIS. just keep the same lens at eye level it's really not that hard. this is like, one of the worst possible ways to shoot dance it is SO annoying. ok i'm done bitching about that let's go.

1. boa - ygx vs want i agree with the big point gap on this one, and i think want made a couple of choices that were not cohesive enough, and obviously they also got set up to fail by ygx. actually i think both groups made choices that were not particularly good, but ygx had more of the skills to back up what they were doing than want did. breaking is very difficult and requires a lot of upper body strength and a higher centre of gravity, which are two physical traits that are less common in women. personally i wouldn't have tried to break to better because although boa songs do have more of a beat than other idol music, it's still not at all the right type of music for breaking. it's gotta be fast, breakers rely on speed, because it's all about momentum; they're literally throwing themselves around the stage. here's the final from battle pro 2019 for example. the music is basically beats only; heavily lyric based music, like idol music, is bad for battling in general because there isn't a lot of consistency. i have more to say about this but i'm getting off track. basically by choosing to handicap the other team (because they don't have a bgirl at all) they shot their own bgirl in the foot because the song is too slow to properly show off her skills. i applaud want for making bold choices, like the hatwork and attempting the breaking, but ultimately when combined with their styling the performance looks disjointed. also they have some formation cohesion issues that make it look a bit like they'e struggling to keep up, even with their own choreo.

2. cl - prowdmon vs wayb i agree with the judges, i think prowdmon bodied the wayb choreo. i actually thought that was their choreo at first. they have the best presence that i've seen of all the groups and the performative "hard bitch" attitude fit in with their genre setting. wayb had several mistakes and synchronization issues that in my opinion made them look sloppy in comparision to prowdmon, who were sharper and had two more people to put into formations. 3. hyuna - hook vs coca n butter ok personally i don't like either of these choreos, but i'm agreeing with the judges here, i think hook's was the mildly more engaging. i can tell that they're very young and do mostly short form tiktok content because i see a lot of eye catching moves, but i don't see a lot of strong connective tissue between those moves. they have good ideas but they also really struggle with putting people into formation and balancing it out well. it doesn't help that they're a seven member crew going up against a four member one, so they have three extra people to figure out what to do with. there's a lot of empty space where there are members waiting in position for a group formation. it also doesn't help at all that they (mnet) appear to just be rawdogging the songs together without any kind of mixing, which is a huge detriment to groups that have to choreograph for two in their section. i'm not cool and lip and hip have two totally different feels and kudos to hook for at least trying to get them to at least visually be cohesive when mnet is go girl giving us nothing sonically. coca n butter has much more of an old school hip hop style, so putting these two up against each other was (probably a random lot draw) an interesting choice. personally i would have been more interested to see hook against want with the boa tracks and ygx against coca n butter with the hyuna tracks. however, i think the reason why coca n butter's stage felt like it was lacking is because they tried to emulate hyuna, without having the stage presence or the weirdness of hyuna. it feels like they're trying too hard and there isn't really any personal character in the piece, versus with hook, who embodied hyuna's weirdness a little more authentically and took a completely different direction. 4. jessi - lachica vs holybang lachica took this one easily, although their formations were a bit wonky for nununana, they covered it fairly well and i think they managed the best transition between songs (between nununana and gucci). they were sharper with good stage pictures and had a good gimmick with the double fringe on the gloves and hats. holy bang had some issues fitting their extra person into the what type of x choreo, but they did well with their own choreo. however, like with coca n butter and hook, because lachica took a new visual spin, this felt too derivative of jessi, so it wasn't that interesting for me to watch. i do think they are one of the groups on the stronger end of skills and presence. --- as far as visually what performances i liked the best, since would this even be a writeup by me if i didn't talk about design, here's a quick breakdown:

prowdmon - got some rudimentary setpieces, got a theme, got some fun variations on a uniform look; excellent for what i assume was limited budget capacity and also it's a dance crew show.

lachica - great continuity of effect in costuming with the fringe, and using the gloves as a mouth/lip effect was one of the most interesting choices of these routines.

hook - the pink wigs and the black latex on the checkered floor was a nice gimmick that was a bit of a nod to hyuna's weird without being too derivative. i'm not expecting a whole lot because these are dance crews but i think this was a decent amount of styling effort.

want - they made a bold choice with the hats and even though it didn't quite pay off for them i still respect it.

coca n butter/ygx/holybang/wayb - ygx and wayb did basic hip hop type styling and while it's absolutely fine, it's just boring. holybang went for a directly inspired jessi look, and although yes bodysuits, overall it wasn't that interesting either. coca n butter get props for doing a costume change and actually incorporating that into the choreo but it feels too much like it's trying to be hyuna weird with the caution tape strapped over their tits and asses.

---

as a final note/question to you, my lovely invested swf anon, what's the format of the show? are there stages like this every episode to review? if these were from the fourth one only, is there anything worth me reviewing in the first three? i'm not particularly interested in the aggressive competitive nature of the show and editing so i don't particularly want to watch the full two hour episodes, but if you think it's worthwhile for me to review stuff then i will. otherwise if there's a set structure (like with kingdom) i can seek out the stages specifically and review them if i know what i'm looking for.

#street woman fighter #swf #swf reviews #i dont really know what the international reception is. the very few people ive seen talking about it on twt #have been insane kpoppies disrespecting boa. so not the best ifan showing so far #am i back in my review era already???? we shall see #(while i still have like EIGHT different asks left. if you wonder why im taking so long to get to some of them. that is why)#(OH plus the first half of the stylings post. and the fabled fave choreos post. so many things in my drafts rn)#(but also please dont stop sending me questions it makes me very happy. the gerbil in my brain is just slow)#dear anon who just asked me about red lights and kink. mwah you are welcome to slide into my dms anytime you like #wait by putting kink in the tags did i just invite a bunch of pornbots onto this #whatever lmao #might need to start a new organizational tag for this because it's only kpop adjacent. thoughts for later #text #answers #ngl these group names are gonna drive me insane. why are all dance crew names so fucking weird

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star-six7 · 4 years

Text

And You’re Someone Who Knows Someone (Who Was Someone I Once Knew)

Mikey Way x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Word Count: 1909

Request: Could I request anything with Mikey? Thanks :)

A/N: I am so sorry about the delay on this one! I’ve been drowning in school and work at the moment, but I’m still thinking of you guys, I promise! Also, catch that title reference ;)

Disclaimer: This is entirely a work of fiction. No part of this story is meant to be libel, slander, or in any way derogatory towards any character’s real life counterpart. I’m not delusional; I know that these characters are simply based off of a public persona and may not actually resemble the people behind those personas. Any additional characters that you do not recognize are entirely fictional, unless otherwise stated. And finally, if you got here by Googling yourself, whatever happens next is 100% on you.

You rocked back and forth on the balls of your feet anxiously as you stood in front of the chain-link fence. Finally, a large guy with a security shirt came into your view, calling out your name.

“Hey,” he grinned when you nodded. “It’s good to finally meet you in person; Gerard’s been chattering nonstop about you for the past few days. I’m Worm, I’m in charge of most of the security for the band; I’ll take you back now.”

“Okay,” you nodded, putting away the backstage pass that Gerard had mailed to you. You were slightly taken aback by the professional quality of the whole set-up; the last time you had been to a My Chem show, it had been in a much less… respectable venue, and there wasn’t even the faintest idea of guards and backstage passes. Something told you that the security probably wasn’t the only thing that had changed over the last few years...

While you were lost in your thoughts, Worm had led you through a back parking lot filled with big box trucks and busy stage crews right to the band’s bus. He punched in a key-code, and grandly guided you up the steps.

“Gerard, your esteemed guest has arrived!” He winked good-naturedly at you, and then turned to leave. “Soundcheck at four, please attempt to think about being there in some semblance of a timely manner.” He rolled his eyes as he exited the bus.

Gerard, of course, didn’t hear him because he was too busy leaping off the couch so he could tackle you. “You’re here!”

“Yes,” you grinned, attempting to pat his back and keep your balance at the same time. “It’s been so long, Gerard, how are you?”

He let go and returned your smile. “I’ve been great, really great. A lot better than I was the last time we met. Um,” he ran a hand through his close-cropped white hair, and glanced sideways at Mikey. “You remember Ray and Mikey, right?”

“Of course,” you grinned at them. “How could I not? I did go to all of your shows for a year.”

“Well, uh, Otter ended up leaving after we finished recording Three Cheers, so that’s Bob- say hi, Bob- oh! And you remember Pencey, right? Well, Frankie’s with us now, and I think that about covers it.”

You waved at them. You remembered Frank’s wild nature, not surprised that he fit in so well with My Chem, and Bob seemed nice enough. All of the guys seemed genuinely excited about your presence, though you couldn’t shake the feeling that there were some conspiratorial glances and nudges being thrown around by everyone except Mikey. In fact, the bassist in question was doing his best to look artfully bored from his place on the couch and ignore Frank’s not-so-subtle shoving. Still, you felt a certain tug towards him, even after all these years.

“C’mon!” Gerard said brightly, snapping you out of your observations. “Let me give you the grand tour.”

The rest of the afternoon passed by in a whirlwind of wandering the bus park and venue with Gerard, watching the guys soundcheck from the nosebleeds, and dining on pizza in the green room. You were so glad you had been able to make it to a show; Gerard was one of your closest friends, and it had been a couple of years since you had last met.

Your friendship had started during your senior year of college- you had both had an internship in the same building, albeit for different companies and lines of work. Since then, you had bonded over several of your shared interests and kept in touch, leading you to go to several of the first My Chem shows, and by extension, meet Ray, Frank, and Mikey. Though your busy work life and their crazy tour schedule had caused you to drift apart, it felt like no time had passed at all as you watched Ray swat Frank for stealing his pizza while Gerard and Mikey laughed uncontrollably at Ray’s exasperated expression.

Soon enough, it was time for them to go onstage, which became evident when the venue’s stage manager knocked on the door to lead them to the curtain. Worm reappeared and guided you to the seat marked on your ticket from Gerard- a center stage view from the very first row of actual seats behind the pit. Clearly, Gerard had wanted to make sure you didn’t miss a single part of the show.

The lights dimmed, and you watched two crewmembers dressed as doctors and nurses wheel out a covered gurney while the sound of a heartbeat monitor played over the sound system. You were unsurprised when Gerard leapt out of the gurney moments later, kicking off the show.

You already knew the guys were awe-inspiring onstage- you had known it from the way you felt the first time you saw them live- but it was clear to see that over the past few years, they had taken it to a whole new level. They had each grown into their stage personas and their identity as a band, but your eyes kept drifting to one member in particular...

You had noticed it earlier today, but Mikey had definitely evolved since the last time you had met. He seemed much more sure of himself onstage; instead of retreating to the space almost directly behind Gerard, he often came up to the edge of the stage or interacted with his bandmates. He also seemed more relaxed off stage, easily interacting with fans outside of the venue and joking before the show with the rest of the band and crew. You couldn’t deny that he was a far cry from Gerard’s shy, slightly awkward, little brother you had met all those years ago.

Before you knew it, the show was over, and Frank was insisting on heading to a nearby diner for several plates of french fries and milkshakes. You glanced at your watch and balked. “Shit… I’m sorry guys, it’s almost 1am and I didn’t get a hotel. I think I’m going to start the drive home.”

Frank and Gerard glanced at each other, and then they rushed to stop you. “Don’t be ridiculous, come with us and you can just stay on the bus!”

“I don’t want to take up anyone’s space…” You hemmed.

“It’s fine!” Ray insisted. “Don’t even worry about it, you can sleep in the back lounge, it’s honestly very nice.”

Though you were suspicious of their enthusiasm, you accepted their offer with a shrug and followed the rest of the group in their search for a 24 hour diner.

…

You sighed as you took off your shoes and settled into the bed in the back lounge. You were exhausted; the long day of walking, dancing, and socializing was starting to catch up to you. However, just as soon as you had stretched out across the soft surface and closed you, you were startled upright by the sound of yelling coming from the bunk area just behind the lounge door. Confused, you opened it to see Mikey, looking irate, and Frank looking guilty yet slightly pleased with himself.

“What the actual fuck, Frank?” Mikey glared accusingly at him.

“I’m really sorry Mikey, it was-”

“An accident? Frank, we all know you’re clumsy as fuck, but there’s absolutely no way someone pours an entire liter of soda directly on my bunk on accident!”

“Oh shit,” you said, stepping out of the doorway to assess the damage.

Mikey glanced at you. “Sorry if I woke you up, Frank’s just being ridiculous.”

“Mikey, I don’t think you’re gonna be able to sleep here tonight,” Ray said, gently prodding Mikey’s mattress. “It’s pretty soaked.”

“Oh, well, of course,” Mikey sighed irritably. “Well, couch it is, then.”

“Actually,” Gerard piped up, oh-so-helpfully, “there’s plenty of space in the back lounge.” He turned to you. “If you’re okay with sharing, that is.”

You stared at him, trying to figure out his plan here. You were pretty sure that if he could bat his eyelashes right now, he would. Ignoring your suddenly accelerating heart rate, you turned back to Mikey.

“I don’t mind sharing, it is your bus after all,” you shrugged, glancing at Mikey. “Gerard’s right, there’s plenty of room.”

The other three looked extremely pleased with themselves.

“Thank you,” he told you, before turning to glare at Frank and head into the bathroom to change.

A few minutes later, you were in the back lounge again, somewhat awkwardly laying on one half of the double bed as you waited for Mikey to turn off the lights and get settled.

He looked abashed as he stretched out on the opposite side of the bed. “I’m sorry for snapping back there,” he said. “It’s just… the guys have been making fun of me for the past few days and it gets old fast.”

“I understand, it's okay,” you nodded, as you watched his silhouette shift closer to you in the dark.

He gave you a considering look. “It’s just… I told them something personal and they couldn’t just leave it alone. Honestly, this whole weekend has been sort of a set up.”

You rolled over to look at him properly as everything began to fall into place. Frank and Gerard’s insistence that you should stay the night, Frank’s “clumsiness,” Gerard’s helpful suggestions, the general feeling that something was going on behind the scenes…

“Oh,” you said, hoping he would confirm your suspicions, “what do you mean?”

“Well, it’s just that,” for a moment, it seemed like the endearing shyness of the Mikey you had met in Gerard’s basement was back. “Okay, like.” He took a steadying breath. “I’m working on building my confidence, so I’m gonna tell you this and hope for this best. I’ve… had a thing for you for a while, if it wasn’t already obvious. I mean, at first, it was just a crush… but as the years went on, and I- we grew up, I’ve realized it’s more than that. I know I’m still working on being stable, but I want to take that chance with you. I mean, if you feel the same way of course.” He paused. “Wow, that was a weight off my chest.”

You stared at him, opening your mouth to speak and then closing it as you parsed your thoughts. You had always felt a certain fondness for Mikey, and the past day had shown you that, over the course of a few years, it had grown into something more than friendship. You couldn’t deny that you also had feelings towards Mikey, and that seeing his new-found confidence and sense of self had only solidified them.

“Um, you’re not like, pissed, are you?”

His timid question snapped you out of your reverie.

“No, of course not!” you rushed to assure him. “I… I feel the same way, Mikey. I think I always have.”

“Oh!” He couldn’t keep the small grin off of his face. “So then I guess you don’t mind if I do this then, right?” He moved in closer to you and wrapped his free arm around your waist, effectively pulling you into his chest.

You smiled, warm with the feeling that things had finally fallen into place. “Good guess,” you sighed, already beginning to fall asleep.

“One more thing,” Mikey paused.

“Hm?”

“Under no circumstances can the others know that their evil plan worked.” “Deal.”

#mikey way #mikey way imagine #mikey way x reader #mcr imagine #mcr x reader #mcr #my chemical romance #my chem #my chemical romance imagine #my chemical romance x reader #bandom #bandom imagine #imagine #x reader #reader insert

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damejanai · 3 years

Text

Dame Raji

2020.12.10

Kaito: I have a friend who loves cars....he's Uchida Yuma by the way

Soma: wwwwww he's always bring brought up!

K: I saw him wearing a very fashionable coat that day and asked him about it, and he said, " You know, this year is the time to wear coats..."

S: wwww

K: "Winter is the time when you wear coats" i said

S: HAHAHA

K: HAHAHAHA

S: He's a genius!!! "This year is the time to wear coats", a philosopher of sorts! AHHAHA

K: HAHAHA, like, it's the coat season during winter, not just this year but next year, in Jan and Feb too. It was so funny

But his dressing was the mode kind of fashion, really stylish

S: But Yuma kun love the mode kind right...

K: I admire it too but i don't see myself wearing it

S: But since your hair is red now won't it look good?

K: Really?

S: Why don't you try my coat now

K: It's a long coat?

S: Long , long, it's really long

K: Will it be ok? What if i rip the sleeves

S: Uh it accommodates a little more

K: The furballs!!

S: Uh, it's past it's schedule for cleaning. Oh, it's that alright? This, you should photograph yourself using that gimbal (stabiliser)

K: The one i introduced last week?

S: Yea the one you introduced on smart news. Oh? Isn't that good? Might fit you just nice, better than me

K: Eh? Have I ever looked this cool?

S: wwwwww What kind of...

K: Ohhhhh

S: Isn't this alright?

K: Uhhhhh

S:Mmm? Mmm..

K: Uhhhh i see

S: Can you do this radio show??

K: HAHAHAA, Alright, I, like it

S: This year, i didn't buy a single coat

K: Ehhhhh

S: Because, aren't coats expensive?

K: Expensive yes

S: So i'd buy one that can last for at least 3 years. And the one i bought before this one is one of my favourites, so i wore it till it was full of furballs

K: Really? This one is, quite serious already

S: Can you please stop it? It's not that bad! I just removed them just now

K: How can you be walking outside in this?

S: I just took them off already, with a sponge

K: Because, look

S: wwwww

K: Shall I remove them one by one? ONnnnne, Twooooo

S: Shall we begin?!

---

~in bloom~

K: I wanted to play one song here though...

S: OOooh? Will that be okay?

K: It's not allowed right?

S: Not allowed? eh? It's fine

K: We shall just go ahead with it huh?

S: Really?

K: I've got permission

S: Oh you have!

K:Hahaha

S: Eh? Which one will you play?

K: Which one do you want to play? I think it'll not be allowed but, is there one song that you want everyone to listen to?

S: Well~~ There's actually a lead track for my album this time, and the lyrics are winter-ish too

K: Well so everyone, next week, we MIGHT be able to... welll we will be able to play it with .....8....9% chance

S: Hahaha that's high! That's like as good as confirmed!

K: And we miiiight be able to talk about it with.... well 99% chance

S: That's super high, thank you

---

~About nicknames~

Q. Do you guys have nicknames that stuck?

S: Well, kaito kun, we talked about nicknames before right?

K: We did, i said i didn't like nicknames

S: Kaijin

K: AHhhhh, you just said it...

S: wwwww

K: You said it...I have to say something bad about you now

S: wwww no no no there's no such equivalent exchange. And about my nickname, do you remember what i said? Probably not right?

K: Piiman (green pepper)

S: OOH?! EHH?! Why do you remember it?

K: Coz it's you *__* HAHAHAHA

S: EHHHH sdkhskhfksdlfsdf this is crazy really

K: Hahahhaa

S: No no no, i've ran out of oxygen

K: Hahahhaa i'm also tired

S: That's amazing !

K: Yea it just came to mind

S: That was shocking, i mean like i'm sure no one remembered..... OHhh you remember wwww

K: Ahhhh, then they're on the same level as me probably

S: Amazing..... but yes, once we've become adults, we don't get called by nicknames anymore

K: That's true, like, calling each other by our names has more impact right?

S: That's true

K: There are not many Soma sans... and there are more Kaitos recently but, it's quite unique

S: Well.... Murase Ayumu san calls you Kaity alot right, is there anybody else who calls you that?

K: The first one who called me that was Nishiyama san

S: wwwww Kaity

K: He called me Kaitis

S: Kaitis (in koutarou voice), that's totally what he would say!! Koutarou wwwww

K: "Kaitis, you know.." all of a sudden, it was not because of a show or anything, the day before of some event, ah it was the day before "Get up Get live", he started calling me Kaitis

S: Ahhh

K: Kaits? I thought

S: Wwww

K: Well i was happy so i thought that's fine, but when we went on stage, he called me "kaito kun"

S: wwww He closed the distance and widened it again

K: And then Murase Ayumu started calling me Kaity behind my back

S: Stop with with the behind the back thing

K: Coz he calls me "kaito kun" on programmes

S: AHHAHAHHA

K: That's why i call him Murase san too

S: wwww

K: Come on, don't call me nicknames behind my back!

S: Yes, we'd like them to call us that nickname in front of us

K: It turns my mental state upside down you know, like *sigh* irritates me, ahhaa

S: You give up in the end. Well nicknames right?

K: What do you want to be called?

S: Well, my name, maybe something unrelated to my name?

K: Piiman then

S: That piiman thing came from Soma piiman which became Sosama piiman, that's why. I say this but it doesn't make sense. And i won't approve it though! The me back then won't

S: If juniors call your name, would "kaito san" be more preferrable?

K: Ahhh

S: Than Ishikawa san. I would be more happy if they call me Soma san

K: Well I would be glad but there are not many who call me kaito san in the first place

S: ......Well moving on!

K: My seniors call me Kaito san though

S: wwww

K: Well when i ask them why they said, "well, nah, you know, you are older than me so"

S: wwwww stop it!

K: "Please let me call you kaito san!"

S: That gets messy

K: That guy, Tasuku kun

S: HAHAHHAA

K: When will he.... the unfair part about it is that he calls Yoshiki san who is a little more senior that I am, "Yoshiki"

S: That makes you feel a little sad right?

K: So, what? you hate me?

S: Exactly that, that

K: When i asked him that, he was like, "no no it's not like that, kaito san, you have this, p p presence"

S: Hahahahaa

K: "I'm telling you!" hahaha

S: That happens right....

K: Even though i'm older than he is i have fewer years of experience

S: yeahhh

K: So i keep asking him why

S: Yesss, I would like Tasuku kun to talk to me in the casual form and call me by my name, and Taku as well! Taku talks to be in casual form but calls me Soma san

K: Ehhh? Is that so?

S: Yes Yes Yes

K: Ah Oh Ah, then, i'm sorry hahaha

S: Well not that I MIND it

K: Because, "kun" is not right, right?

S: Eh?

K: I call you Soma san too, and talk to you in casual form

S: But ... you know... I got used to it..kaito kun is you see..I...speak... i'm like trying to analyse here but, you said that you don't like to call me "soma kun"

K: I don't like it, and i did that once during a programme

S: Like slipped it in

K: Although you realised

S: I just accepted it. But for kaito kun, it's settled, but for Taku and Tasuku i feel sad

K: True, Yashiro kun.... keeps his distance i think

S: wwww

K: Shall we get him on the show again

S: Call... yes let's!

K: And properly ask him about it

S: Like recently when i had a job with Taku, when i said "really thanks for that time on dameraji" and he was like, "ahhhh" He had a really hard time apparently

K: Oh is that so?

S: We should get him on a normal episode where he can relax and have a relaxing chat

K: Get him on the show and ask, "Why do you call me soma SAN?"

S: No no no no, wwwww

K: WHY? you speak casually to me though? why do you call me soma SAN?

S: He'll just be, "Because..."

K: "Because, kaito kun does it too right?" Then we'll start this convo again

~Dameraji photo studio~

Theme: normal shot

#saito soma #ishikawa kaito #dameraji #dame janai radio

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sakaloo7 · 3 years

Text

The Palestinian/ Israeli situation in a simplified example

I’m fascinated by how relationships between two individuals and all their details helps in understanding bigger, more complex human relationships. I’ve been diving deep, studying and reading books about narcissism and abusive relationships, then the Palestine/ Israel conflict popped up these days. I connected the dots to many aspects that I really didn’t pay any attention to before. I always had questions like:

- Why are people turning a blind eye (especially from the west) when we are so obviously almost powerless in front of the Israeli military?

- What about the numbers? A minimum of 83 civilians in Gaza were killed in the previous days compared to 7 Israelis, whenever there is friction, we all know that Palestinians pay a higher price, more homes get destroyed, more children die, more families live in fear..etc.

A brief about narcissists, how they behave, and the link between Israel and Palestine.

- All of us probably have seen or were in a relationship with the toxic people that they are. Narcissists are extremely good manipulators, they’ll find a way to always blame you for any problem, play on your weaknesses, your guilt and shame to make you actually feel guilty for things you didn’t even do. They turn tables, always try to catch a fight with you for no reason and have horrible outbursts of anger thrown at you. If you try to stand your ground and defend yourself, you’ll be denied of this right because: How dare you be so heartless and abusive and not see their pain that led them to be angry at the first place? They’ll always switch to being a victim, they’re the ones that matter, they’re the ones always hurting, they will not see you because the universe obviously revolves around them.

- Defending yourself is always going to be used against you, no matter how you use logic and common sense, they don’t operate the same way we do, it’s THEIR logic and THEIR common sense that matter (that only serves their own selfish benefits). Nothing you say will be heard, no effort will produce any results. If you try to give them a taste of their own poison, they’re only going to bully you more, attack you more and hurt you more.

- Narcissists organize people in hierarchies, in their head, those who deserve respect are those who are richer than them, higher in status, have more fame, are more successful. A narcissist will disrespect, devalue, look down on those who are lower in hierarchy. That doesn’t mean they’re mean to everyone below them, narcissists are the ones who treat everyone so nice to serve their self image as a kind, amazing person, then treat their families and closed ones like shit behind closed doors. Their niceness is only that way because its serves a benefit to their ego.

_______________

Important synonym:

Narcissistic supply: Their fuel. Their main source of energy. In case of romantic relationships it is preying on naive, empathetic people who have weak boundaries. These people will give the narcissist what they want, attention, sacrifice and love (and of course the opposite treatment is devaluing, bullying and disrespect). Without this supply, a narcissist -literally- emotionally dies. Which is why going no contact or “ghosting” the narcissist in a romantic relationship drives them insane and causes them intolerable pain.

In case of Israel, what’s feeding the parasite is the US aid and all the countries that stand by their side, approve of their state and feed their agenda. This approval is what is keeping them alive. Being short of this supply threatens their presence.

The narcissist’s allies: These are the people standing behind them, supporting them, believing them, enabling their behaviors. These allies are what feeds the narcissists ego, in case of a relationship, it’s his other (also abusive) friends who keep talking about how shitty they treat their wives, which makes the narcissist feel that what he’s doing is approved and normal. Without these allies, the narcissist would feel indifferent. He would start to feel a bit wrong if others seriously point out his behavior. Nothing strikes a narcissist as the feeling of indifference.

You might be wondering why do people fall prey to these monsters and date/ be-friend them?

The LOVE-BOMBING stage: The facade the narcissist puts to lure you in. It’s when the narcissist idolizes you, appreciates you, mirrors your good qualities to make you think you’re meant for each other. In the context of the conflict, it’s when Israel shows how compassionate and righteous of a state it is and makes connections with countries to be-friend them (then stabs them in the back).

______________

- You’ll always be the evil one: Because narcissists are master manipulators, they will convince people that their victim (ex.: abused wife) is crazy, even her own children would believe. The woman will find herself alone and everyone’s led to believe the abusive man just because of how charismatic and confident he sounds. This “crazy woman” is the equivalent of these “Hamas Terrorists”. This card is used to discredit you as a human, a card to alienate, stop others from listening to your opinion nor rationalize your actions to defend yourself. Because why would you rationalize a woman who’s irrational? Why would you rationalize someone labeled “terrorist”? Terrorists just destroy right? They don’t think before doing anything they’re doing.

- Narcissists avoid responsibility at all costs, if you hold them accountable for their words or actions they’ll deny, gaslight and play the victim in order to avoid changing their behavior. They will always have an excuse, no matter what.

- These people KNOW they are wrong, they KNOW they’re being illogical, they KNOW their abuse and how it affects others. And they CHOOSE to stay like that because of the privileges that come with it.

Conclusion:

Using common sense doesn’t work with these people. They only recognize and would respect those who have power above them.

Appealing to their moral judgment is impossible.

The way to revenge, is NOT equal destruction. It is power, and turning everyone against them. Social media spreads awareness and Israel will not succeed in concealing their crimes for too long. “ The best revenge is to live on and prove yourself.”

Those Arab countries who are friends with Israel is exactly as if the woman’s sister in an abusive relationship sides with the physically abusive husband just because he’s so charismatic and funny “How could you say such bad things about him?”, the abusive man: “See! even your sister thinks you’re crazy and don’t make sense!”. These Arab countries betray our Palestinian brothers and sisters and enable more abuse for them.

Why are people turning a blind eye? Why don’t numbers matter?

Lets be honest, would you have more feelings of respect or more feelings of pity towards a woman who allowed herself to enter an abusive relationship? You’ll always have this question in your head: Why didn’t she just reject the guy when she saw the red flags in the early stages? People deeply have more feelings of pity or empathy over respect for those who allow themselves to be abused by others.

But it’s different with the conflict, it’s not like a person to person situation. It’s more complex, because Arab governments at a point allowed this cancer to settle. Arab leaders DIDN’T represent their citizens and DIDN’T stand their ground and for sure had common interests with Israel, and no one respects those who betray their own people. Our generations will pay a price they didn’t have to pay, because of their decisions. Just like the abused woman’s kids will pay the price of being in a dysfunctional home, and having a cruel father, even though it’s not their fault, they didn’t choose this.

This puts a responsibility on us, individuals, to take action, send donations and unite as one to help and hope it does an impact.

Please don’t feel shame if you feel helpless. Just like the children who didn’t choose their bullying father. None of us, Arab citizens, chose this. We are paying prices we didn’t have to pay and we either decide to be responsible for it and turn it to productive actions or be bitter about it and give up (not recommended). All of us have to understand the dynamics of such problem and not guilt ourselves, and just do the best we can right now.

So, again, why do people turn a blind eye?

1- Refusing to look at the conflict as an international human rights violation. Same reason why there aren’t laws to regulate domestic violence in many countries and some will justify and say: “The woman chose this person herself”, “We have more important issues to solve”, - even though it can get extremely violent - which is failure to take responsibility for what’s right. Some consider it an Arab problem that Arabs just have to deal with, because they allowed it in the first place! So, international human rights foundations and those countries that have the power to do anything won’t take responsibility because it is against their interests and gain or simply because: “Why bother?”, and blame it on our governments, which kind of makes sense.

2- Because some see the Arab world as a nation that’s inferior. We are not in the top hierarchies in a lot of fields (economy, education, health care,..etc) in terms of what we add to the world or to our own citizens. This doesn’t mean we are failures at an individual level, we don’t lack what makes us excel, but we are seen generally (as countries) as mediocre. For many reasons, like poverty and ignorance. This way of thinking also follows the same ideology of a narcissist: only feel compassion and empathy towards others based on hierarchy.

3-Stereotypes. Since all the middle eastern news is not very decent. That puts the pressure on individuals to reinforce a good impression that their countries and societies failed to make, and correct the false impressions of them as well. If you’re Muslim/ Arab living abroad you might feel you have to smile wider just to prove you’re a good person. Which is very exhausting, and again, you’re paying a price you shouldn’t pay. For a mistake you didn’t make. Many won’t have that Arab friend to prove their stereotypes wrong, so they’ll just keep themselves busy with their own country’s issues.

4- Because people are not connected to us. Take South Korea as an example. They have achieved tremendous success in reaching people with their art and music, people from all over the world recognize their hard work and effort so they’ll therefore empathize with their pain. Don’t be surprised if twitter explodes with hashtags of a K-pop group member having a flu but no hashtags for children getting killed in Palestine. As much as it’s sad, it’s human nature to feel empathy towards those who you have emotional connection to.

5- Its a sensitive topic, so people just want to avoid any clash. They don’t know who’s right and who’s wrong and therefore feel like they don’t have enough info to judge the whole thing.

What to do?

Focus on ourselves, set valuable goals, have integrity.

Be aware that conflict is part of life, don’t paralyze yourself in negativity.

Not be tricked to play the role of the victim. We can change so much if we focus our power into our strengths instead of dwelling.

Do our best to be the best person in our job and excel in our field.

Ending with two of my favorite quotes:

“It’s better to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in war”

“When you begin the journey of revenge, be sure to dig two graves, one for your enemy and one for yourself.”

#freepalestine #savesheikhjarrah #palestine

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yukiwrites · 3 years

Text

Meeting Again, Now and Forever

Thank you for the support and patience as always, @breeachuu! I hope you like it! >v<)

Summary: After getting acquainted with the Traveler, Venti approached her for help with something as important, or even more so, than with the issue with Dvalin: He wanted to find his long-lost love, Auria, who was undoubtedly also looking for him...

Commission info HERE and HERE!

__________________________

It hadn’t been long since the Stormterror Crisis had been dealt with (not to mention how the party had to bolt out of the temple before the illusion on the Holy Lyre wore off), so Lumine -- and, by extension, Paimon -- went to Angel’s Share to rest her weary bones for a bit.

The sight that welcomed her the moment she stepped in, however, shouldn’t have been surprising, but given the state of their goodbyes just a day ago, Lumine hadn’t expected to meet Venti again so soon.

“Ah, Lumine!” The youthful bard smiled brightly once he saw the Traveler step into the tavern, cutting his performance short as though he had already been about to bring it to a close. “Good timing!”

“... What do you mean, ‘good timing’? You look like you’ve been waiting to ambush us!” Paimon crossed her tiny arms defiantly as she flew behind Lumine to snark at the Archon.

“Little old me? Why, I’d never!” Venti giggled adorably before stepping closer to the duo. “To be honest, I wanted to ask a last favor of you, but given how we got separated after our… elegant exit, I waited here!”

The way he smiled brightly could deceive many people (especially elderly), but Paimon only growled and narrowed her eyes. “What do you want NOW, Tone-Deaf Bard? We already went all over the place to help with that dragon business-”

“Paimon, it’s okay.” Lumine waved to shut the little fairy up. “If there’s anything I can help with, of course I’d want to. Is it anything serious?”

Venti smiled in a mature yet lonely way that didn’t go well with his youthful appearance -- it was perhaps the smile of an immortal being as it was confronted with its own endless life. Or perhaps it was a way to make himself seem more mysterious; there was no way for Lumine and Paimon to know.

“Actually, I’m looking for someone.” He bobbed his head to the side, walking towards the counter to sneak some alcohol into his system. “Her name’s Auria. We kind of missed each other during some time of turbulence.”

“...” Paimon sat on Lumine’s shoulder as the Traveler stood beside Venti by the counter. “That’s it? No more hints? What does the Tone-Deaf Lady Friend look like? Where did you meet last? You’re not gonna ask Paimon to look for someone without saying anything, right?”

Bluntly ignoring the talkative little fairy, Venti turned his unmatching mature smile to Lumine. “She’s my special someone; the muse I drink my inspiration from -- the one who’s been with me the longest. I keep sensing her in the wind, but it’s like we always barely miss each other.” He twirled his fingers around as a tiny current danced within his palm before he closed his fist. “Will you help me look for her, Traveler? I’m absolutely sure she’s here in Mondstadt, so the search shouldn’t take long.”

Lumine took a few seconds to nod, somehow appreciating the new side of this mysterious god as she felt the affection that dripped from his words when he spoke of Auria. Paimon shook her head once she saw the Traveler accepting yet another ridiculous request, but even she was unable to fully voice her complaint after sensing the weight of Venti’s words.

“Really?” Venti brightened up like the sun, jumping out of his seat with a spring in his step. “This calls for another song! Lo and behold, as the best bard of the land plays for all of you tonight!” He bowed extravagantly before hopping to the stage he had been earlier, a lyre ready at hand.

Lumine laughed and clapped along with the other patrons, happy that Venti’s mood seemed to have improved.

From the outside of the tavern, a young-looking girl looked up at the starry sky, wondering why the wind seemed so unstable that night…

________

Auria had been hiding amongst the humans for 500 years while she waited for Barbatos to wake up from his slumber, so she was well-versed in dealing with people; though she wasn’t one to stay in a place for long.

“Hmm, what I mean is that… why is it so hard to catch up to a single bard? I hear whispers here and there of his whereabouts, but by the time I arrive, it’s like he’s carried by the wind!” Auria grumbled under her robe which concealed her body, “of course, that wouldn’t be strange, considering Barbar’s personality…”

Sighing, the fairy-turned-sylph looked up to the endlessly blue sky. She had heard through the grapevine about those bard contests -- innumerable, considering the amount of stories to be sung by the many traveling bards in the land -- and had ignored them for two years until she had heard who had been the winner for the third year straight: A young boy named Venti.

Curse her lack of attention! What good was it to possess the power of an Anemo Vision and be clueless about the words the wind carried?

“Hahh…” Auria sighed again, kicking the dust just for the sake of it. She had heard about how Dvalin had left Mondstadt -- which was Venti’s handiwork, no doubt about it. If only she had been there…

Holding back another sigh, Auria took a deep breath and, instead, slapped both of her cheeks to spur herself into action.

“Get a hold of yourself, Auria! Those 500 years of wandering and hiding weren’t for nothing!” She looked up at the fluffy clouds with renewed resolve. “I’ll find him and we’ll finally be able to be together again, just like old times.” She nodded to herself, as though talking herself into action had become a habit she cultivated through the centuries. “Okay, now that’s dealt with…” she looked around the wide prairie before her to check if there was anyone looking before crossing both hands over her chest. “Annd, transform!”

After Auria’s whisper -- word that was actually not needed for her transformation from sylph to fairy to work, but that she had grown fond of using due to Venti’s influence -- she was covered in sparkling dust, seemingly poofing out of existence.

A tiny form, smaller than even Paimon, emerged from the dust, flying about freely to be able to cover the distance to the city. She had changed to her original form of a fairy, before Barbatos had bestowed upon her the very first ever Anemo Vision which allowed her to retain a human-like form to live out the rest of her life beside him.

It took her a while to arrive at the city, as the sky was now covered in a blanket of stars. She poofed back into her human form behind an alley, feeling a weird stir in the air after she felt it caress her face.

It felt as though it was welcoming her into an embrace -- like it was ready to give her what she wanted the most: the hug and comfort of her beloved Barbatos.

“Oh…” Auria covered her mouth with both hands in surprise, her eyes misting with tears. “He’s here! Ven is here!” Her voice shook with emotion for finally being able to grasp Venti’s presence like one catches a petal in the wind.

She closed her eyes and intertwined her fingers in almost prayer, focusing all of her being into the Anemo energy all around her. If she could pinpoint the source of the wind… If only she could, then she would most certainly find Barbatos at the end of it.

All wind and freedom are born from him, so it was no wonder that if one pulled the thread of the wind, they would find Venti at the end of it.

However, it was easier said than done -- there was a high amount of magic energy; differing levels of Anemo and other Visions spread throughout the land to be able to pull at one without finding it entangled in another. It felt like Auria was learning how to knit by untangling yarn instead of weaving it into clothing.

She spent the night at an inn not too far from the most famous one in town as she needed to concentrate on her task, though if only she had walked half a block further… her fate might’ve been different.

________

The next morning, Venti, Lumine and Paimon left Angel’s Share to look for the bard’s special someone, though not without Paimon’s easily-ignored teasing.

“She loves the natural sound of the wind, so I’m sure she’ll be in a place where she can be surrounded by nature!” Venti twirled around himself to make a small whirlwind follow his steps, making dust and leaves dance behind him. “The prairie right outside town should be a great place to look, methinks!”

“Alright, then you can go alone, Tone-Deaf Bard! It doesn’t make sense for all of us to go together, after all.” Paimon shook her tiny legs in annoyance for being ignored after asking questions about the Tone-Deaf Lady Friend.

Lumine nodded in accordance, “yeah, it’s best if we split up. I’ll ask people based on the description you told me, so you should look for places she’d most likely be at.”

“Mhm, mhm!” Venti nodded brightly, taking Lumine’s hand on his before shaking it vigorously. “Thanks again for this, Traveler! Let’s find her pronto! I miss her so much!”

“No one asked, though…” Paimon grumbled beside the duo, puffing her cheeks so they were fit to burst at any moment.

Blinking with sparkling eyes, Venti looked in Paimon’s direction and smiled before giving her a cheeky wink and turning to leave. “Then I leave this area to you! Let’s meet back at Angel’s Share if we return empty-handed.”

After saying that, a current of soft green wind covered Venti, dissipating into warm specs of light once he safely warped himself out.

“Good riddance!” Paimon grunted, wobbling around Lumine before taking a deep breath. “Alright then, let’s go, Traveler! I’m so curious to meet the lady crazy enough to live SO LONG with that Tone-Deaf Bard that I can’t stop scratching myself!” The flying little girl scratched the back of her hand excitedly, wearing an evil smile unfitting to her adorable face.

“Heh,” Lumine smiled before turning towards the market. “Let’s first ask some innkeepers; they’re the best when it comes to dealing with new people.”

“Let’s gooo!” Paimon eagerly flew behind the Traveler.

________

At the same time, Auria gasped, feeling the thread of wind she had barely managed to catch, snap. “Oh, noo…” She grumbled. “Did he warp somewhere? He was just around here in the city, but now he’s flown far away…” Her voice sounded dispirited as her body lumped forwards, on the bed.

Well, technically, she didn’t know if he had flown ‘far away’, but since he wasn’t within her grasp anymore, she pouted adorably, digging her face into the pillow.

She had barely slept last night; she was also starving and tired of trying to untangle the mess of winds and magic around this big city… Pouting even more, Auria growled impatiently before taking a deep breath.

“I’m going… yeah, I’m going to buy something to eat. Bread! Sweets! Fuel for my weary body!” She psyched herself up by springing to her feet, raising both fists to the sky. “Let’s go!”

Soon she left the tavern without checking out -- she was playing on staying until she found Barbatos, after all -- taking only her money pouch and cloak with her as she headed to the marketplace.

No matter how many times she squeezed herself through the stalls, the sight was always marvelous. Humans were truly fascinating in their own pursuit of freedom: from house decorations to delicious food; there was nothing one couldn’t find in this place as long as they looked hard enough.

Auria gleefully bought a bag of baked sweets that looked much too large for someone her size to eat by herself, which warranted her some glances from the shopkeepers as she passed them. Nevertheless, Auria happily munched on a creamy donut as she started to make her way out of the marketplace.

Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw a familiar sparkling dust, so she unconsciously followed it. Since it was just like what her wings in fairy form produced, she felt somehow akin to the flying little girl just a bit ahead of her.

The girl looked too big to be a fairy; not to mention her lack of wings, which cemented the fact that she was not one of Auria’s brethren. Still, Auria found her gaze following the little girl and the one she accompanied -- a young Knight of Favonius, from the looks of it.

Once the duo was out of sight, Auria realized she still had half a donut sticking out of her mouth, so she busied herself with eating it, making her way back to the inn. On the way there, however, she passed by the largest tavern, Angel’s Share, and shrugged before going in.

After all, it would be weird if one that held the title of Most Popular Bard of Mondstadt wasn’t known in such a big establishment. So, renewed with the power of sugar in her veins, Auria went inside with burning eyes.

“Excuse me, I want some information…” She walked to the counter, finding a beautiful flame-haired young man tending to the bar.

“Ask away.” Diluc said curtly, not raising his gaze from the cup he was drying.

“Do you perhchance know of a bard named Venti? He’s about this tall-”

“No need for a description; not only do I know of him, he performed here just last night.” Diluc looked at Auria, then to the piece of donut that fell from her mouth to the floor he had just moped in her surprise.

“He was WHAT? Here?! What?!” She almost let go of the bag of sweets, but managed to catch herself in time to prevent the tragedy. “But I’m just right- across the street? I can’t believe-” She widened her eyes the more she spoke, staring blankly into Diluc’s face.

After a few seconds of astonishment, she caught her breath with a gasp. “Do you know where is he right now? I must meet him!”

Diluc took a moment to reply as he circled the counter to get a broom. “He didn’t say where he was going, but he left this morning with the Traveler and that flying little girl that accompanies her.”

Auria knew who Diluc was talking about immediately. “That young knight of Favonius?” She mumbled more to herself than to Diluc, though he did nod in response.

“Yes.”

Squeezing the bag of sweets, Auria’s heart beat so hard it felt it was about to burst out of her chest. Was that the reason she was so drawn to them back at the market? Were the winds telling her to seek them out so she could finally be reunited with her love?

Her mouth agape as she breathed heavily, Auria’s face brightened with each passing second. “Thank you so much, master! I’ll- I’ll be back!” She quite literally flew out of the door, leaving only the sweet scent of her treats in her wake.

Diluc wasn’t even surprised about such things anymore, so he just finished his sweeping in silence.

________

“Huff, huff!” Auria panted as she turned the bag over into her open mouth to eat everything at once while she ran, clearly unafraid of choking. She quickly arrived back at the marketplace, though due to the sheer amount of people, it was hard to pinpoint a single duo.

Of course, the little not-fairy would be easy to find since she was such an odd sight, but that did not mean that looking would be effortless. Auria put herself on her tiptoes to look above the crowd, but ultimately decided that it would be easier to look from above.

She hurried to an alley and poofed into her fairy form, taking an easy flight high above people’s heads. Looking left and right, Auria flew not too close so as not to be spotted, but not too far so she would still be able to see clearly.

“There!” She pointed to the blonde knight far off in the distance, at the entrance to the pier. “It seems she’s talking to some people, so I’ll just fly down here…” Auria found a quiet spot behind some crates to poof back into her human form, immediately storming towards the place where she last saw Lumine.

She was so eager, she rammed into the young knight with everything she had the moment she took a turn, rolling on the ground in her arms. “Ow, ow, ow…”

“Lumine, Lumine! Are you alright? Who’s this crazy lady?!” Paimon pulled Auria’s cloak to take her off of the Traveler, failing miserably in moving anything but the hood she held on to.

“I’m alright, but-” Lumine shook her head, helping Auria sit up beside her. “Are you okay? Who are- wait… you look familiar.”

“Familiar? Have you seen this crook before, Lumine?” Paimon flew to Lumine’s side, widening her eyes once she took a good look at Auria. “Wait, it’s true! Aren’t you the Tone-Deaf Bard Lady Friend? You are, arentcha?!”

“Tone-deaf-” still dizzy from the collision, Auria massaged her forehead with a groan. “Tone-deaf…?”

“Don’t mind her.” Lumine waved her hand in Paimon’s direction, ignoring the ‘hey, what do you mean by that?’ from the emergency food. “You’re the one Venti is looking for, aren’t you?”

Auria’s eyes sparkled immediately, forgetting the pain and frustration as she took Lumine’s hand. “You know Venti?! Oh, thank the heavens! Do you know where he is? I’ve been looking everywhere for him!”

Lumine and Paimon exchanged surprised and pleased glances. “He just asked us to help him look for you. He left the city for a bit, but we promised to meet back at the Angel’s Share later this afternoon to report our findings.” Lumine nodded to the eager girl holding her hand. “Should we wait there together? It’s best if we stick close lest you two miss each other again.”

“Oh, would you do that for us? Thank you so much, sir knight! Thank you, thank you!” Amidst her emotion, Auria hugged Lumine as she laughed brightly to the point of tears.

“There, there,” Lumine smiled, patting Auria’s back so they could look each other in the eyes. “I’m Lumine, by the way. The one over there is Paimon, so no need for formalities.”

“That’s right! You’re thankful, aren’t you? You gotta tell us more about the Tone-Deaf Bard and how you two met and stuff!” Paimon bounced excitedly all around the two girls. “I need something to kick him in the shin with, keheheh…” She mumbled the last part to herself, snickering evilly.

“I truly am thankful!” Auria sniffled, then got up with Lumine’s help. “I would also love to hear how you two met Venti and what he’s been up to!”

“Sure,” Lumine patted the dirt out of her dress. “Let’s head back to the Angel’s Share.”

________

With each step Auria gave in the direction of the tavern she had left just an hour ago, the stronger her heart pounded. They haven’t seen each other in five hundred years, so the longing she felt to be in his arms was unparalleled.

She tried hard to listen to Paimon’s retelling of how they managed to save Dvalin, but the sound of her heart beating inside her ears made it difficult for Auria to do anything else apart from breathing. And even that was difficult, to be honest.

The wind was restless. Was Venti back? If so, was he already waiting for her? If not, would he take long? It was already the early hours of the afternoon, so he probably should be on his way… oh, Auria could hardly wait!

She didn’t notice, but her steps became quicker the more she approached the Angel’s Share, as though spurred by the threads of wind woven into a breeze. By the time she noticed it was hard to breathe, she was already running.

Her steps fueled by the swirling wind, Auria forgot all decorum and opened the door to the tavern with a loud bang.

The air entered from behind her into the building as though being sucked by a primal being; as though being rolled back into its beginning and end; as though it was simply returning to its master and servant.

The wind swirled around the two adorable twin braids, ruffling the little red cape that covered the small back.

Short of breath, Auria could only gasp as her eyes met Barbatos’ for the first time in a half a millennium. “Ven-” she stuttered, faltering on her feet as she reached out to him.

His clear, aqua eyes widened in surprise as he saw the wind usher her to him, a wide smile covering his face. “Auria!” He opened both arms and ran into her embrace, tackling her with everything he had.

“Ven- oof!” Auria opened her arms to welcome his lightning fast jump, squeezing him into her embrace as they wobbled backwards, falling on top of the incoming Traveler once again.

Paimon grumbled something about the Traveler pursuing a career of safety cushion, but neither of the two lovers heard her.

Auria’s clear tears rolled down her cheeks as she dug her face into Venti’s hair, rubbing her face on it as though to imprint him into her. “Ven! I missed you so much! Where,” she sniffled, “where have you beeen!” She sobbed.

“Hehe,” Venti smiled cheekily, rubbing his face on Auria’s chest as his own eyes itched with unshed tears. “Haven’t you heard my tunes? I was looking high and low for my one and only muse!”

Auria sobbed more, squeezing his neck into her embrace with such force he almost turned blue with lack of air. “I looked everywhere for you…”

“I know, Fairy.” He whispered her nickname in a loving voice, making Auria’s tears flow more intensely. “Thanks for being so good at finding me! What would I do without you, really…” he kissed her neck, then loosened his embrace so he could kiss her wet cheeks before trailing his lips to hers.

Paimon gawked at the sight, covering her eyes with a red face as the two young lovers shared their kiss of reunion, not even bothering to stand after they fell.

“Don’t, sniff, don’t even think about going around on your own again!” Auria dipped more tiny kisses onto Venti’s rosy lips, drying her tears the best she could. “We’ll stay together from now on, Ven!”

“I would have it no other way, Fairy!” Venti giggled brightly, using his frilly sleeve to dry his beloved’s faze. “Now there’s nothing that can separate us.”

#genshin impact #venti genshin impact #lumine gensin himpact #paimon genshin impact #genshin oc #i dont have a 'genshinsona' tag so ksadjlmasd #should i just go with fatesona #fatesona #there #my writings #yuki's commissions

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bananban-feature · 3 years

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Seventeen: Hoshi

(It took me a while to write this because... I’m also not sure. There’s a lot of ideas here and there and my mind is all over the place. But here it goes.)

Hoshi appreciation time! I’m here to talk about another one of my biases in my bias group that I love so much, Seventeen. Hoshi is incredibly talented and creative, fun with an extremely loveable personality! Now, where do I start?

Talent

Dance - This talent is pretty obvious as he is the leader of the performance unit, which is equivalent to the team of the main dancers of the group. (Other Seventeen members who aren’t part of this unit are already really good dancers, so this unit is really something.)

Stage Presence and Energy - A big part of what I like about Hoshi’s performances is not simply his dance - it’s his energy and attitude. I especially like it when he performs with intensity, like his Fearless intro dance with the drums (GDA 2021). I remember watching a clip of their Ode To You in Manila concert on Youtube and seeing Hoshi made me really wish I was there. (I only became a Carat after this, during quarantine.) It’s like he’s a ball of energy that hypes people up.

His duality is INSANE. He knows how to use his facial expressions and charisma that would make you feel the intensity of the music and fall for him on stage. And yet irl he’s absolutely adorable.

Singing - With Hoshi being such a main dancer already, you wouldn’t think he would have good vocals, but Hoshi is actually a lead singer too! In fact, in Performance unit, he is the main vocals. He has a powerful voice!

Rap - Hoshi is the main rapper in their super fun sub-unit BooSeokSoon. (Sure, he’s not actually the best singer or rapper there is in all of kpop, but he really has the talent for it.) There are many songs only a few people can pull off but he does. His energy and attitude in “Just Do It” by BSS and “Bring It” is next level, and absolutely necessary for the song to be successful.

Songwriting - This hasn’t been much (you know, as much as Woozi), but Hoshi has also participated in writing some of their songs, and even composed some with the help of Bumzu/Woozi! He co-wroteThanks with Woozi and Bumzu.

In general, I just also love Hoshi’s confidence in his talents. He knows his strengths, he isn’t afraid to showcase all the good things he can do, and he recognizes when he performs well. Confident, but not bragging. He’s just so real and so passionate about performing.

Performance Unit Leader & Choreographer

I have a lot to say about this because the first thing that really struck me about Seventeen is the absolutely beautiful choreography and incredible synchronization. It is the reason why I really checked them out in the first place after seeing a video of them dancing to Don’t Wanna Cry in x2 speed.

Choreography - Hoshi co-choreographs the Seventeen performances with a choreographer hyung/noona, and also with the help of the performance team. (I am not disregarding the work of the pro choreographers, who in fact, did such an amazing job, but I’ve seen some people dismiss Hoshi’s contributions to these. Hoshi himself doesn’t brag about it, and ALWAYS mentions the choreographers that helped them.) There are a lot of records of him working on the choreo and formations, and there are interviews with Seventeen members, Hoshi himself, and even the choreographer hyungs that talk about his work. There’s a lot of hard work involved in this, especially when you have to think about 13 people’s positions in each scene. It just requires a lot of brain power! To add to that, Hoshi is incredibly creative! He is able to take inspiration from random objects (such as street lamps), and turn it into story-telling choreography (DWC example, skip to 1:32, this is an amazing video). I really love Seventeen's choreography, and I think they have one of the best choreographies in kpop! They are my all-time favorite in this area.

Leadership - (Obviously, they practice these dances also with the help of the choreographer hyungs too, but Hoshi really leads the whole group in terms of the performance.) Hoshi is strict and particular even with the tiniest details, angles and timing. I definitely think this is one of the biggest reasons why Seventeen is so good with their dance and are called Kings of Synchronization. Not only do they practice a lot, but I think they all really work hard because they’ve developed this sense of meticulousness in choreo that Hoshi imparted.

***Hoshi said himself that he’s a quick-tempered person. The members have actually shared their accounts of how Hoshi was as a performance leader - strict, not very patient, and has a tendency to say harsh words when they did not meet his expectations. (He’s the opposite of Minghao in Idol Producer. Normally, this impatient teaching style would get me pissed, but Hoshi as a teacher to Seventeen is different. Unlike the ordinary teacher-student relationship, Hoshi has a very close friendship with the members like family. Even when there are hurts and arguments during practice, they are able to talk about it, fix and overcome it.) It seems Hoshi has changed from this harshness though. And now the members are able to talk and laugh about it freely as memories from their earlier years.

Personality

Hoshi is so talented, but what really drew me into him was his outstanding personality. People who only look at Hoshi on stage might get shocked because Hoshi in real life is like a cute crazy hamster. (Oops, I meant “tiger”, horanghae!)

Hoshi is hilarious and adorable at the same time. It’s almost like a toddler in a grown man’s body. He says the silliest things and acts the silliest way! What makes him funny is not just because he tries hard to be funny by making jokes. He’s just naturally funny - the definition of chaotic comedy, major crackhead energy! His overhyping is hilarious. And his randomness will make you laugh. I love that he is unapologetically himself, accepting himself in all his weirdness. And no one can stop his tiger agenda. 🐯 🐯 🐯

Don’t Lie I & II are two of the first episodes I watched in Going Seventeen. I was so in love with Hoshi, especially after Don’t Lie II. He was so chaotic and crazy, but also very intelligent! It really was a successful game because of his incredible deduction (with the help of Seungkwan, of course). And my gosh, the way he copied Seungkwan (and even Vernon) in their 5th Anniversary is legendary! That’s both talent in comedy and talent in acting!

Despite being this comedian, he is often seen being very sweet to the rest of the members. Honestly, unless they are in the practice room or when he needs to protect the members, Hoshi is one of those who’s often like a fake maknae in the group because he’s so cute. (Okay, except Woozi always rejects his hugs. lol) He’s also sweet to the fans and interacts with them a lot.

Hoshi’s Visuals

He may not be an official visual but nowadays, I am really appreciating his looks. I’ve always found him cute (like a child-like cute). Even in his old videos as a rookie, he has a cute and fun visual. But he really has a face with nice proportions. Honestly, he’s growing more and more mature each day. And recently, I’m just loving his visuals so much as a handsome guy.

Like...look at this beauty?

///Update, March 2021: As I predicted, Hoshi has been showing his handsome boyfriend look more and more.

A better look of the last photo, whew:

*** update done ///

This post is waaaaaaay longer than I planned it to be. There’s just too many things to appreciate about Hoshi.

Anyway, here are random things I found you also might enjoy:

Article on Hoshi as a dancer/performer (The title is misleading, but this is actually a great compilation of amazing Hoshi and Seventeen dance things.)

Reddit thread on Hoshi’s talents

IDK, random Hoshi YT compilations (1) and (2)

The Leader Line

I’ve written about my top biases right now: Woozi (previous post) and Hoshi, hard-working members for the team. In general, I really appreciate the leader line. At a young age, they led a group of teens to rise to the top of a very demanding industry. This is real life leadership with real life issues and pressures. They had a huge responsibility, it wasn’t playtime. (Great job to S.Coups, too, for being able to handle the crazy kids and keep them in order together. Imagine having to think about the individual issues of 13 people!)

Anyway, hopefully I’ll be able to talk more about them soon in my Seventeen members general appreciation post!

#kpop #Seventeen #kwon soonyoung #hoshi

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mayquita · 4 years

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Damn You For Making Me Love You (8/15) - Eye Of The Tiger

Thank you so so much, for your likes, reblogs, kudos and comments. It means the world to me.

Beta-Reader: Thank you so much, @ultraluckycatnd I couldn’t have asked for a better beta. Thank you for all your effort, your suggestions, your advice and for always being there when I needed you.

Special mention to @saraswans and @onceuponaprincessworld, thank you so much for your perpetual support and for believing in me and in the story. Thank you again to the moderators of the event, @captainswanbigbang for giving us this opportunity and making this possible. You all are the best :)

Summary: Emma Swan and Killian Jones are close friends and co-workers. And both are in love with each other. The problem? They keep their feelings secret not only to the other but also to the rest of their friends. When Elsa, Emma’s best friend and Liam, Killian’s brother and Emma’s boss find out, they decide to form an alliance and work as a team with a clear goal, to get Emma and Killian to take the next step in their relationship and confess their love for each other.

Rating: M

Word count: ~ 9200 (98k total in 15 chapters)

Ao3 / FFnet

About this chapter: (Another long chapter. Sorry???) New flashback, new performance, and...Emma being Emma...

Chapter 7: Eye of the Tiger

Emma - Four years ago

Emma had only been working at The Kraken for three weeks but she had already established a work routine that would allow her to get the most out of her hours there.

There was so much to do to boost the bar that she spent perhaps too much time there, but she didn't mind at all, not if it meant being able to develop her creative abilities.

She came to work every day early in the afternoon when the bar was not yet open. There was something about observing the empty place that made her ideas flow more easily. She also took advantage of those early hours to chat with Liam, the only other person who came to the place that early, and to elaborate on different action plans together.

Emma liked Liam and enjoyed these moments alone with him. He seemed a responsible and kind guy, and, most important to her, open to any suggestion she could offer. Although he always maintained a professional attitude, Emma suspected that the bar meant much more to Liam than a simple business, so she was even more determined to help.

Killian, the younger brother, usually arrived a little later. He also seemed to have an established routine. He always helped Liam leave everything ready for the opening of the bar and then spent a few minutes playing the guitar and singing, just like the first time she had laid eyes on him.

The attraction Emma had felt towards him had not diminished with the passing of the weeks, but rather the opposite. Even so, she kept up her facade as a tough girl and always adhered to her professional role, trying to ignore the reactions of her body whenever Killian walked around.

The fact that he kept singing while she tried to work didn't help her cause, though. His melodious voice had the ability to seep not only through her ears but through all the fibers of her being, generating a warm buzz under her skin.

Today things seemed to follow the same path. Liam had retreated to the backroom to restock some empty spaces on the shelves while she remained perched on her favorite stool near the bar and Killian was on stage singing, of course.

"So, you went to college here in Boston, Swan?"

Emma was not surprised when Killian stopped singing in the middle of the song to address her. This had also been a common practice in recent days, he sporadically throwing some personal questions to her in order, she supposed, to try to get to know her better.

She always managed to give evasive answers or simply rolled her eyes without bothering to respond. This time it wasn't going to be any different.

"Uh-huh," she replied, without looking away from the laptop screen.

After a few seconds of silence on both sides, he began to sing again. She didn't even have time to open the next photo file when silence fell again on stage, in anticipation of the next question.

“Just who are you, Emma Swan?"

This time Emma did look at him, meeting an expression of genuine curiosity, the same that had come off his voice. She was tempted to ignore him, but there was something in the intensity of his gaze, as if he really wanted to know her, that caused her mouth to act on its own.

"Wouldn’t you like to know?"

"Perhaps I would."

The lyrics of a song came to her mind at that very moment, and again, before she even realized what she was doing, she heard her own words. "I'm a survivor."

The answer seemed to satisfy Killian. He grinned at her before directing his gaze back to his guitar. When Emma heard the first chords of the next song, she gave such a start that she almost fell off her stool. What the hell? Was this guy some kind of sorcerer or something with the power to read her mind? He just had begun to sing the same song that had come to her mind just a few seconds before.

“Rising up, back on the street

Did my time, took my chances

Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet

Just a ‘woman’ and her will to survive.”

The bastard had changed the gender on purpose. For her. Although Emma would never admit it, that was the first time she felt butterflies in her belly, which, despite being a pleasant sensation, did not predict anything good. Nothing at all.

Emma - December 2019

Emma hated feeling weak. Even though it had been three days since her accident, she still did not feel fully recovered. The trails of the incident lingered in the form of slight dizziness and dull pain in her shoulder so, as soon as she woke up, she walked directly to the couch and dropped herself down there, too lazy and still aching to do anything more productive.

In addition to her discomfort, she wasn't doing well mentally on her days off and spent most of her time at home, sulk mode on, unable to distract herself by anything.

Well, to be honest, Killian was a distraction. Too much of a distraction, in fact. She should be thankful for his constant presence these days. The reality, however, was quite different. She was having a hard time dealing with his continued attention.

It wasn't because she didn't value his efforts. The only reason, though she would never admit it aloud, was because she wasn't used to having anyone take care of her in her weakest moments. She found it difficult to show her most vulnerable side after so many years of having to take care of herself, with no family or friends to watch over her.

For that reason, when Killian appeared at her door at ten in the morning for the third day in a row, she was not in her most hospitable mood.

The sound of the keys at her front door announced his presence even before he appeared. Emma let out a groan of annoyance as she regretted the moment she decided to give him the keys to her apartment a year ago.

She could handle Elsa's or even Liam's attentions better. She still remembered with some fondness that one time she had come down with the flu a year and a half ago and how Liam had been the first to come to her rescue, since Elsa had been accompanying her girls to a competition outside the city.

She had felt so sick on that occasion that, although she had protested that she could take care of herself, she had found herself so weak that, for once, she had lowered her defenses and allowed someone else to take the reins. Killian had soon replaced his brother to take care of her but since she had spent most of her time raving because of the fever, she had barely been able to assess his attentions to her.

Everything was different this time. Although weak and sore, she kept the rest of her faculties intact, which meant that her thoughts ran wild in her head. Although her feelings for Killian had not stopped growing — or perhaps because of it, she was no longer sure —she would have preferred it to be Elsa exclusively, or even Liam, as the one in charge of taking care of her. Elsa and Liam were just friends, very close friends, actually. Killian, however, was much more, at least for her.

Her train of thought was full of inconsistencies; she was fully aware of it. The constant presence of Killian worrying about her was both driving her crazy and causing the walls around her heart to weaken. And the worst thing was that she still wasn't sure about his feelings towards her.

"Good morning, love." He was in front of her in an instant, swaggering as he walked, a huge grin on his face. In his hand, a paper bag from her favorite coffee shop.

"What are you doing here?" Her response came as a grumble, as she laid on the couch, avoiding direct contact with his gaze.

He, of course, chose to ignore her, his expression unperturbed as he headed for the kitchen area.

"How are you feeling today?" he asked from there, as he opened and closed cabinets and drawers to get the things he needed. In HER kitchen.

"Fine," she mumbled. And it was true, especially if she ignored the persistent pounding in her head, or the small dizziness when she made sudden movements. But she wasn't going to give more explanations that increased his level of concern and that hint of guilt that sometimes clouded his gaze. She wasn't going to deny that she was somehow pleased. But on the other hand, all that worry made her nervous. Did he worry that much just because she was his friend or because she was something else to him?

"Have you had breakfast?” His rhetorical question broke her train of thought. She remained stubbornly silent, with her lips firmly pressed together for a few seconds, but finally gave up, sensing that he would keep insisting.

“Uh-huh.” ( No )

“Liar.”

She huffed in annoyance, hating that he could read her so well. “Why bother asking me if you already know the answer?” Her voice came out in a tone perhaps too sharp, so she took a deep breath before continuing. “Listen, I’m fine. I’m not a little girl you have to supervise. I’m able to take care of myself,” she said without bothering to make contact with his gaze.

Still, she couldn’t help glancing sideways at the kitchen island. His expression hadn’t changed, but she could feel the muscle in his cheek flexing in and out, a sign that he was losing his patience. He kept his voice calm as he headed back to her, though.

“Well, since you’re an adult and responsible person, you must know that you should have more than just coffee in your stomach while you are taking your medication.”

Enough. She rose abruptly, ready to face him. What she didn’t count on was her weakness and the sudden dizziness that arose the moment she stood up, making her whole body falter.

“Easy, Swan.” Killian was there in an instant, his strong arms holding her to keep her from falling. And she hated him a little more for that. Or she loved him more, depending on how she wanted to think about it.

"I'm fine," Emma hissed as she stirred to escape his grasp. His touch suddenly felt like too much, leaving her too weakened to face him. Even so, as she was already standing, she headed toward the kitchen with hesitant steps, feeling a bit uncomfortable by the moment of previous tension.

Killian stood still. When Emma finally dared to look at him in the eye, she could detect that he was hurt. His lips pressed together in a grim line and his brow furrowed. "If my presence is so annoying, I can leave."

Yes, I want you to leave because I can not handle having you so close without having any idea of your feelings. Because all I want is to make that purse of your lips disappear by pressing mine onto yours. Because this whole situation is killing me. She obviously wasn't going to confess her true feelings, but that was no excuse for her behavior. On the other hand, she didn't have the heart to be so cruel as to make him leave, considering her ungrateful behavior so far. Instead, she reached for the bag he had brought with him, inspecting the contents.

Two delightful-looking bear claws were waiting for her. The smell — like heaven — coming through the bag made her mouth water. Without further ado, she grabbed one of the pastries and bit a portion, unable to prevent a sound of pleasure escaping her throat.

A wave of guilt seized her as she glanced at Killian. He hadn't moved from his place, his arms folded across his chest, his expression impassive, his gaze perhaps too intense.

"Do you want one?" She offered him the other bear claw as a sign of making peace, which was funny, considering that he was the one who brought them. Her contrite expression and softer voice was her way to emphasize her offer to make up.

After a deep breath, Killian approached her and grabbed the claw she was holding out. Emma reached for her chocolate to-go cup —with whipped cream and cinnamon, of course. Killian knew all her preferences. Well, almost all of them— and they both had their breakfast in quiet silence, only broken by some sounds of satisfaction coming from her as she savored the food. His expression softened the moment he sat next to her on one of her kitchen stools. And just like that, the previous tension seemed to have diluted and she was comfortable again around her best friend. It must have been the ingestion of sugar, which has brought some lucidity into my mind, she thought.

After finishing their meals, Killian washed his hands and approached her again. "Well, let's examine those little wounds. May I?" Emma suppressed the urge to roll her eyes and nodded instead. He had taken his role as a nurse very seriously and performed the same operation every day, ignoring her complaints. This time, given their previous little showdown, she simply let him do it.

She sat on the stool as he approached her, his fingers gently pulling back a strand of hair that had fallen on the wound over her left eyebrow. Although their bodies were not touching, she could sense both his warmth and his scent, feeling a little dizzy again, but this time for completely different reasons. "It looks like it's healing well." A sound of approval accompanied his words, which came in a murmur as if he were speaking to himself.

"What about your shoulder?"

"It still hurts a little," she admitted grudgingly.

"May l?" He pointed at her shoulder, reluctant to touch it without her permission. Emma nodded, her heart hammering in her chest. The tank top she was wearing left her shoulder bare, so Killian turned around behind her and pulled her hair delicately apart, her bruised skin exposed.

She was about to shoot a patient-doctor style joke, but the words died in her mouth the moment she felt his touch. On previous days, he had only examined her wound, barely an accidental contact of his fingers on her skin. This time, though, his fingertips traced delicate patterns over her shoulder, pressing gently, his touch almost imperceptible, like a feather, but enough to send a chill down her spine and leave a path of goosebumps. Damn traitorous body.

"Does it hurt?" he murmured, his warm breath caressing her neck.

Emma shook her head slightly, her throat unable to make any coherent sound. She remained still while his fingers continued their course over her skin.

From her position, she couldn't see his movements but she could feel his body coming closer to hers, his lips approaching dangerously to her neck. Emma closed her eyes, her heart pounding as she launched a silent prayer for Killian to finally press his lips against her skin. The touch never came, though. Instead, his warm breath was a sufficient substitute to send waves of heat toward her center.

After a few seconds that seemed eternal and at the same time they seemed to have lasted only an instant, his fingers finally moved away, her body missing his warmth in the same moment.

He cleared his throat. "It looks nasty, but I guess that's a sign that it's healing too. Have you taken your pain pills?" Despite the intimate moment, his voice seemed calm, as if he hadn't been about to kiss her neck. Because this time she was sure it hadn't been just her imagination.

"Uh-huh," she mumbled, avoiding his gaze.

Emma then got up, walked to the sofa and dropped onto it. She knew without looking that Killian was picking up the remains of breakfast. The act itself caused a new wave of anger to rise inside her. She wasn't a fucking invalid, she could still clean her own apartment. Still, she wasn't in the mood to argue with him again, so she tried to direct her thoughts down a different path. "Any plans for this morning? Don't you have to rehearse or something?"

Killian joined her on the couch, grabbing the TV remote. "Nope, just to delight you with my company and keep you from dying of boredom. Who gets to choose today?" He gestured toward the television as he bumped his shoulder lightly with hers — the good one, fortunately.

"It's ten o'clock in the morning, Jones. Don't you have something better to do?" As she spoke, she snatched the TV remote from his hands, a giggle bubbling in her throat as she saw his expression of surprise at her unexpected movement.

He ignored her question. Instead, he let out a sigh of resignation. "Okay, you're choosing, I guess."

They spent the next few minutes in silence, their eyes focused on the screen. Her mind, however, was not paying any attention to the show but was experiencing an internal struggle. On the one hand, the fact that Killian cared so much about her was a balm to her heart. On the other hand, his proximity made her feel frustrated and confused. It was like having a treasure at your fingertips without ever reaching it.

This current scenario was not new to them. They had already shared countless Netflix sessions or movie marathons both in her apartment and in his. For that reason, she buried the disturbing thoughts in a corner of her mind, ready to spend the morning huddled next to her best friend.

After a few minutes, she felt an extra weight on her shoulder. Killian had tilted his head slightly and was now resting on her. A few seconds later, she heard soft snores. He had fallen asleep.

A wave of guilt washed over her then. Her heart tightened as a lump formed in her throat. Until now, she hadn't been fully aware of the fact that Killian had come to her apartment every morning since the accident. Despite working late into the night, he came to her house early in the morning just to ensure her well-being. And yet, she was utterly sulky towards him, without even bothering to show any gesture of gratitude.

She was a coward. Although their displays of affection were plentiful, only in those moments, when he was asleep and unaware of her actions, she dared to really show her feelings beyond friendship.

She moved his body gently to prevent him from waking up, placing his head on her lap, so that he was more comfortable. He sputtered something in his sleep, but his breathing remained calm and he didn't protest the change of position.

Her fingers then slid over his hair, stroking it gently, depositing in these affectionate caresses all the gratitude and affection she didn't dare to utter aloud.

Two days later, she was tired of being locked up at home. She had the feeling that if she didn't get a change of scenery soon, her head would explode, and not because of her concussion. So, ignoring the advice of her friends, she returned to work on Friday afternoon.

At the very moment she entered The Kraken, she was enveloped by a bear hug from Liam. "Welcome back, love." Emma smiled at him, pleased to see him in his usual place and not worrying about her at home.

Although Liam didn't go as far as Killian did, he had come to visit her more often than usual in recent days. He behaved more like a brother, while Killian... She unconsciously turned her eyes to the stage. There he was, guitar in hand and his gaze focused on her, his lips curled into a wide smile with the ability to melt her heart.

Emma spent the first half-hour catching up with the business. She had missed The Kraken; she considered it as her second home — well, rather the third one, considering she spent half her free time at the Jones' house. She allowed herself a few moments, letting her gaze wander around and reveling in the little details like the boat-shaped bar, the perfectly arranged shelves with the different drinks, the stage area, and all the sailor motifs that adorned the walls. She closed her eyes for a moment and inhaled deeply, letting the characteristic smell of the bar penetrate through her nostrils. Her lips parted in a smile of satisfaction. She was back.

Nothing had changed in her absence. The website was still working quite well, customers were still leaving reviews and compliments to the three of them, and the poll she had created to help in choosing the next song for the duet hadn’t stopped getting participants. At that moment, she realized that she hadn't spoken yet with Killian about that, and since it was Friday, they had to hurry up with the rehearsals if they wanted to have the song ready in time.

For that reason, the instant Killian took a break in the rehearsals, she approached him to comment on the subject. "Hey, the poll is working well. Do you think we should sing the winning song or have you thought of another one?" She looked up at the stage, her hands tucked into the back pockets of her pants.

"For the duet?" Killian brought his hand up to scratch behind his ear, something he always did when he was nervous for some reason.

"Yeah, for this Saturday."

"Hey, about that. Liam... why don't you explain it to her?" Killian turned to his brother, avoiding her gaze. She tilted her head and narrowed her eyes, intrigued by what was happening.

"Yeah, is there something you have to tell me, Liam?" Since Killian was still ignoring her, Emma turned to face his brother.

Liam stood behind the counter, arms crossed over his chest, a glacial glance directed at Killian.

"Liam..." Emma insisted with a warning tone.

Liam's eyes focused on her this time. After clearing his throat, he finally explained himself. "Uhm, we thought that since you're still convalescing, it's better if this Saturday you stay among the crowd, just taking photos. We don't want to burden you with work."

"What?" She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You mean that I'm recovered enough to take pictures and serve drinks, activities in which I have to use my still sore arm, but I can't get on stage for just three minutes?" She felt a small pull of anger in her stomach causing her voice to rise.

"No one ever talked about serving drinks. In fact, you shouldn't even be here. You haven't fully recovered yet, but since you insisted, we thought it would be a good idea for you to resume your work slowly." Liam's calm speech was meant to placate her anger, she was aware, but he failed spectacularly. Far from being reassured, she was growing angrier by the minute.

Deep down, Emma knew that her reaction was perhaps a bit exaggerated. She had enjoyed their performances so much but in recent weeks, she could barely control the disappointment she felt when she was deprived of something she wanted to do because of a poor excuse. And worst of all, there was only one person to blame.

She turned abruptly, facing Killian again and pointing at him with an accusing finger. "This was your idea, wasn't it?" she hissed, her jaw clenched.

"Swan..." Killian's gaze at last held hers, but she didn’t like what she saw as she looked into his eyes. Instead of looking regretful, his expression showed that he was about to lose his temper. The fact that he was still on stage didn't help either. She felt small as she had to look up to face him.

"Oh, you dare look at me now? You're a coward, using your brother that way..." She was harsher than she intended, but this whole thing was throwing her off. At this point, she couldn't stop. She needed to discharge all the frustration she had accumulated over the last several days. "Who do you think you are to decide what is most convenient for me?"

"Are you going to let me explain myself or not?" She was getting him angry; she could tell by the way the muscles in his jaw tightened and by his tone of voice, which was higher than normal. Yet he held himself in place without losing his self-control.

Emma ignored his question. She didn't need explanations, all she needed was to vent her anger somehow. "I do not want explanations. I'm sick of your overprotection. I didn't ask for it, I don't want it. I know how to take care of myself. I don't need you." She regretted the moment her words came out of her mouth, but couldn't help herself.

At least her words got a reaction out of Killian. He unceremoniously placed the guitar on the ground and stepped off the stage, his arms on either side of his body, his hands curled into fists, his gaze so cold it could freeze the warmest heart. She'd only seen that look of fury on his face a couple of times, when he had faced some guy trying to take advantage of her in the bar. "I need some fresh air," he muttered under his breath, passing by and heading to the exit.

In a second, Killian vanished from the room. It was then that the reality of what had happened hit her hard. Emma felt defeated but her frustration, far from dissipating, had increased. Well done, Emma. Besides not feeling any relief, she had also used her best friend, the most important person in her life, as a punching bag, infuriating him like never before.

She let out a deep breath as she walked with defeated steps and sank onto a counter stool. Not daring to look at Liam, she whispered with her head buried in her arms that were crossed on the counter. "I fucked up."

What is wrong with me? Why am I being such an asshole lately? She wished she had magic to be able to go back in time or cast a memory loss spell on The Kraken so that everyone would forget what had just happened. Reluctant to lift her head, she hoped Liam would begin to give her a talk. He remained silent, though, so she gave up and, after a sigh, finally dared to look at her boss.

Liam was looking at her, his arms crossed over his chest and a serious expression on his face, but he didn't seem angry.

"Okay, come on, lecture me."

Her boss continued in silence for another few seconds, his hand caressing his jaw as if he were debating what to say to her. After a deep exhale, he finally spoke.

"Do you know that Killian almost had a panic attack when he saw you falling and hitting your head against the ice? In fact, we all worried. You were about to lose consciousness, Emma."

Although his voice remained calm, without a hint of reproach, she felt more and more uncomfortable, knowing in advance that she wouldn't like what she was going to hear. Still, she bit her lower lip and nodded in silence, encouraging him to continue.

"Killian is overprotective, it's in his nature. He acts this way with me, with you, and he also was overprotective with Milah." Emma's heart dropped to her stomach when she heard the name of Killian's first love. Even Liam had to pause, in clear evidence that he was also affected when talking about her. "I know it can be a bit overwhelming at times, but when you've lost almost everything in life, you can't risk losing anyone else. You should know that, Emma."

Emma tried to swallow the lump growing in her dry throat, Liam's words weighing like slabs on her shoulders. Tears threatened to spill over, but she pressed her eyes tightly shut, preventing them from falling.

Liam rested his arms on the counter and reached out his hand, holding her chin gently. "Tell me, Emma, how would you have acted, if Killian had been the injured person?"

Emma put her hands on her face, her palms pressing hard against her eyes to keep the tears from falling. Everything was in vain. She shook her head. "Oh God, I've been a real pain in the ass." She couldn't deny it. She'd have acted in exactly the same way or even worse.

"I would have probably killed that guy in the first place and then camped in your apartment to make sure he was fully recovered," she admitted, her voice accompanied by a sound mixed between a snort and a sob. She had been so ridiculous.

"So, do you understand now how much we care about you? We know that you are a tough lass. You've had to take care of yourself for a long time. Why don't you let others take that role now? What’s more, you better accept it because neither Elsa nor I, let alone the idiot I have as a brother, will never let you down."

A sense of gratitude seized her. Tears were now flowing freely down her cheeks and the lump in her throat kept her from speaking, so she did what she did best in these cases. She acted. She moved quickly to reach the area behind the bar where Liam stood and lunged at him, burying her face against his chest, her arms tight around his waist. "Thank you," she whispered.

Liam responded to her embrace, holding her against him, his hand gently caressing her back and causing a warm sensation to travel through her veins and reaching her heart. She felt safe and protected in Liam's firm arms, but above all, she felt valued. She mattered to these two incredible Jones brothers, who had not only accepted her but had made her part of their little family. Whatever happened with Killian, they were so important to her on so many levels, that she didn't know what would happen to her if she ever lost them.

"And now, don't you think you should do something else?" he murmured against her ear.

Emma pulled away a little, noting how his chin was pointing toward the exit. After another sigh, she wiped her tears as she bit her lower lip. "Do you think he'll forgive me?"

To her surprise, Liam barked out a laugh. "If you look at him with those puppy eyes and that regretful expression, I'm pretty sure he will. Besides, I don't think he can be mad at you for more than ten seconds. But just in case, this might help.” Liam handed her two bottles of beer, a grin pulling at his lips. "Hold on a sec."

Liam disappeared in an instant in the direction of his office, reappearing a few seconds later holding both Emma's coat and Killian's. "Take this, it's freezing cold out there and the idiot didn't grab his coat." Emma nodded, the corners of her lips raised slightly. As she put her coat on, an idea of how she could handle her conversation with Killian popped into her mind.

As she walked toward the exit, the realization of what both Killian and Liam meant to her settled into her heart, making it beat faster and put a smile on her lips. Liam was to her like the brother she had always dreamed of, a protective rock that would have her back forever. And Killian... Killian was everything to her. The admission of her feelings was a fact; now she just had to overcome her irrational fear and find the courage to admit her feelings to him as well. That would not happen today, but her whole body vibrated in anticipation. Soon, she whispered to herself.

A gust of cold wind hit her in the face the moment she stepped outside. "Shit." Her breath came out in puffs of steam as she looked around in search of Killian, without result.

A sigh of resignation escaped her mouth. She had hoped to remedy the situation as soon as possible, but it seemed that Killian was not going to make it easy. At least she had an idea of where she could go, so she immediately directed her steps toward the harbor walk near the bar.

The moment she saw the harbor, her gaze scanned the area and luckily, she soon found Killian. He was leaning against the railing, his sight lost in the horizon, remaining impassive despite the freezing cold.

Emma approached tentatively, all her determination suddenly gone, replaced by fear of how he might react to her presence. But she wasn't a coward. Besides, she had forgotten the gloves and the damn beers were freezing her hands, so she had better get rid of at least one of them sooner rather than later.

"Hey." Emma paused, waiting for a reaction from Killian. He barely turned his head, simply giving her a sidelong glance. He then turned his gaze back to the horizon.

"You forgot this." She handed him his coat. "You and I know that if you catch a cold, it will be my turn to become your nurse, but better if we don't take a chance, eh?" Her words came in a soft, conciliatory tone, all the previous anger gone.

Killian grabbed his coat and put it on, still avoiding her gaze. He reached into his pockets until he found something. Gloves. Then he handed them to her without a word, taking the beers from her hand.

She accepted them with half a smile. Her heart warmed at Killian's gesture. Nevertheless, despite her hurtful words and his anger, he still found a way to ensure her well-being.

"You came here to tell me that it would be alright if you took care of me, but it’s wrong if I do the same for you?" When he finally decided to speak, his words didn't show anger, but he seemed defeated and hurt.

Emma swallowed hard, but since she had come this far, she did not flinch. "I came here because it's freezing cold." Before continuing, she reached out her arm, her hand squeezing his forearm gently, catching his attention at last. His eyes sought hers, a raised eyebrow, encouraging her to continue. "And to tell you that I'm sorry I behaved like an asshole before." She looked up at him from beneath her lashes, hoping that both her words and her expression showed how regretful she was.

Killian let out a deep breath. "I'm sorry too, Swan." He ran his hand over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. The look he gave her then made her heart flip. It was so intense, so filled with unspoken feelings that she had to blink for a moment to make sure she wasn't imagining it. "Maybe we shouldn't have made decisions for you, but you'd better get used to it, Emma. You're too important to Liam... and to me. You're not alone anymore."

"I'm getting the idea. I've had to take care of myself for so long that sometimes I forget that now I have both of you and Elsa."

"I know you're a tough and brave lass, but when you've been sick with a cold, you've let us take care of you. What was different this time?"

"I... I don't know. I guess I was scared too after the accident. I don't like feeling that weak," Emma admitted.

They remained silent for a few seconds, their gazes locked onto the ocean. The view of the horizon worked as a calming effect, her heart finally beating at a normal pace.

"I gather that this is your way of making up, but, seriously, did you really think that with this weather, beers were a good idea?" A sigh of relief escaped her mouth as his lips curled into a smirk, his eyes regaining their usual glow. He handed her one of the bottles.

Emma snorted. "That's your brother's fault. We could set up a coffee machine for these kinds of occasions," she joked, the tension between them finally gone.

"You could have turned to rum, instead." He bumped her shoulder lightly with his.

She raised her beer. "A toast, then?" Killian nodded, the two bottles crashing into the air.

"Cheers," they both said in unison.

After the first sip, Killian opened his arms. "You're shivering, Swan, come here." She didn't think twice and practically slammed into him, his warm body welcoming her, his arms wrapping around her shoulders tightly. She buried her head in his chest, feeling vulnerable but also safe and protected. This time, that didn't matter to her at all.

"I can't lose you." His words came in a whisper so faint that she wasn't sure if she had heard his voice or if it was only the sound of the wind playing with her imagination.

Saturday night.

"So what's up with those two?"

Emma looked up from the screen of her camera, her eyes following the direction of Ruby's gaze and finding both Liam and Elsa on the other side of the bar engaged, once more, in what seemed like a private conversation. The corners of her lips rose slightly as she looked back at Ruby. "Thank God I'm not the only one who has noticed."

"Right? Your friend seems to always be here, and, coincidentally, she always chooses the stool closest to Liam's section." Although Emma had already managed to convince Killian that something was cooking up between them, she was glad someone else had noticed their unusual behavior. Of course Ruby had always been characterized by being quite perceptive. She raised a naughty eyebrow while her lips drew a wicked grin. "And have you seen those puppy eyes our boss makes whenever she is around?"

"You know what? I'm already tired of this intrigue. It's time to act." Emma raised the hand that held her camera as she gave Ruby a conspiratorial look. "I already have my weapon ready."

"I have to see this." Ruby rubbed her hands together while raising her eyebrows playfully. "Killian! Cover me for a second, please." Ruby yelled at Killian as she waved her hand to get his attention.

Emma didn't miss how Killian looked at her first, his lips drawing a bright smile, and then raised his thumb to Ruby. Ruby blew a kiss in his direction before turning back to Emma. "I swear this bar sometimes looks like the ship of love," she commented while rolling her eyes. Emma suspected that Ruby wasn't just talking about Liam and Elsa, so she opted to ignore that statement and focus on her target instead.

Completely in sync, they both followed the same direction, Ruby from behind the bar and Emma in the front area. Liam and Elsa were so focused on each other that they didn't even realize that the pair had approached, so Emma rushed to act in order to catch them off guard.

"Say cheese!"

The reaction of both of them was immediate. Elsa jumped in her seat, dropping the glass she was holding, while Liam's eyes widened as he straightened his back suddenly, getting distance from Elsa. Luckily, the camera hid almost her entire face but even so, Emma had to bite back the laughter bubbling in the back of her throat.

"Oh my God Emma, look at the mess you made me make!" Elsa seemed a little mortified, both in her expression and in her voice. "How many times do I have to tell you that I don't like you taking pictures of me when I'm off guard?"

"I didn't even get to shoot," Emma defended herself, schooling her features so as not to betray her amusement. Ruby, meanwhile, pressed her lips together, barely hiding the grin that threatened to appear as she handed Liam a cloth to clean the spilled liquid on the counter. "Besides, since my boss here isn’t letting me get behind the counter yet, I have no choice but to settle for taking pics."

"You can always just sit back and keep Elsa company," Liam replied, his eyebrows furrowed and his arms crossed over his chest. If Emma didn't know him well, she would think he was upset, but she could detect a hint of challenge on the expression of his face.

Emma's gaze traveled from Liam to Elsa before shrugging and commenting, "not sure about that, it seemed you were engaged in quite an intimate conversation." Emma paused for a second while placing air quotes around the word intimate. "I didn't want to interrupt."

"We weren't..."

"We just... we were simply talking about a new plan for next Monday, a movie night." It was Liam who finally gave an explanation but not before directing an almost imperceptible glance at Elsa, who remained silent, eyes cast down, and cheeks flushed. "In fact, you and Mulan are invited too. It will be fun." Liam turned to Ruby, who remained by his side.

"I’ll pass. I prefer to dedicate my only free night to other more pleasurable activities with my girlfriend." Ruby winked at them. "Also, the two blondes and the two Irish together in the same room? Too sugary for my taste." Her lips drew a wolfish smile before she turned around, without waiting for a reply, in the direction of her section on the bar.

Emma was tempted to make some other biting comment, but she detected Elsa's embarrassment, so she finally took pity on her friend. After all, Elsa had never forced her to talk about her feelings towards Killian, so the least Emma could do was respect her decision and wait for Elsa to trust her enough to confess what was really happening. Still, she couldn't resist doing something she hoped was harmless.

"So you don't say I didn’t warn you, pose for me guys. I wanna see those bright smiles!" Although Elsa rolled her eyes, she did what she was told, tilting her body slightly in her direction, while Liam leaned against the counter. They looked at her with similar expressions. They both seemed happy. That was what really mattered.

An hour later, the music from the stage enveloped The Kraken, the crowd kept chanting the lyrics while clapping and dancing to the rhythm of the melody. Emma slid among the people taking photos, immortalizing the success of the concert in the form of enraptured faces, raised arms, and smiles directed towards the stage.

It was a great night. Emma did spend some time chatting with Elsa while the boys worked behind the bar. It was always a pleasure to hang out with her friend, even if she was at her workplace.

She also felt exultant about Killian. After making peace the day before, Emma and Killian had been glued to each other for as long as possible, as if trying to make up after their fight. She felt almost fully recovered, a slight ache in her shoulder the only vestige of her accident.

She stared at the stage. Killian was giving it all up on stage, totally devoted to his audience. Damn it! He’s irresistible, she thought while licking her lips. White shirt, black vest, and tight jeans, the perfect set to make her want to climb up there and have her way with him without caring about anything or anyone. It might be relatively easy to hide her feelings, but when it came to physical attraction, she found it increasingly difficult to resist the temptation.

The echo of the last song still resonated in the room when Emma realized that the concert had almost reached its final stretch. She thought with resignation that it normally would be her turn to get on the stage at this point if it wasn't for the damn accident.

She couldn't keep the corner of her lips from pulling into a small smile. Three weeks ago, she had been horrified at the idea of singing before an audience. And now singing a duet with Killian had become one of her favorite activities. It was as if all her inhibitions and fears would be forgotten during that brief interval of time. She felt free to express her feelings through music and she also was able to stay close to Killian, becoming part of his small bubble up on the stage. It was magical, electric, and addictive. And she was missing it a lot.

Killian's potent voice addressing the audience brought her back to reality. "Whoa! It's been a fantastic night, guys, thank you very much to everyone for your dedication." The crowd broke into applause and cheers. Killian waited for them to calm down, as he bowed, the smile of satisfaction never disappearing from his face.

Then his gaze looked for hers. The moment his eyes met hers he winked and continued to speak to the audience. "Under normal circumstances, now would be the time to welcome Emma to the stage to accompany me on the last song. Unfortunately, that is not going to happen tonight." Some people in the audience expressed their disappointment, but Killian kept talking. "She is convalescing after a mishap she suffered a few days ago. She's fine, but we think it's better if she lets this week pass. But don't worry, next Saturday she will be here again, by my side and all of us will enjoy her great talent." The crowd clapped around her. Some people even turned and directed their words and looks of encouragement towards her.

"Even though she's not going to be up here tonight, this is still our moment. That's why I wanted to dedicate the next song to her.”

Wonderwall... That was the first song that came to her mind as her heart skipped a beat. After all, it was their song for this kind of situation, wasn’t it?

“Sometimes you get the worst cards in the game of life," he continued without taking his eyes off her. “But there are people like Emma, who has an inner strength enough to overcome all obstacles. She is the toughest and bravest person I know. A fighter. A survivor. She wanted to be up here today despite everything. So I hope this little gesture partly compensates her disappointment. This one's for you, Swan."

The audience began to roar around her, but she didn't listen to them. All her senses were focused on Killian. Her eyes filled with tears at the unexpectedness of his dedication. Damn bastard and his ability to leave her speechless. He was also looking at her, his eyes full of apology and maybe hope, his smile sending a wave of affection straight to her heart. She nodded in silence, her lips moving in a silent thank you.

That was all he needed. His fingers slid over the strings of his guitar, creating the first notes. Emma let out a gasp as she recognized the song. Okay, it might not have been Wonderwall after all, but his choice couldn’t have been more appropriate given the circumstances. The first chords brought to her memory one of the first moments shared with Killian soon after meeting, and how that moment had represented the point of no return in the escalation of her feelings towards him.

“Rising up, back on the street

Did my time, took my chances

Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet

Just a ‘woman’ and her will to survive.”

Killian's melodic voice brought her back to reality. The same verses she had heard in her memories, now sounding around her. He even changed the gender again to make sure, in case there was any doubt, that the song was aimed at her and only her.

Despite being surrounded by people, it was as if everything around them had ceased to exist except for them, wrapped under the protection formed by their particular bubble in the form of a melody.

It was curious how a song that had nothing romantic in it and was even used as a soundtrack in a boxing movie, had the ability to create an unbreakable link between them. Emma felt an almost uncontrollable desire to get on the stage and join him in singing The Eye of The Tiger with a shouting voice. She suppressed her desire, though, knowing that she would have the opportunity to thank him for the gesture as soon as he stepped down from the stage. Her whole body vibrated in anticipation of the embrace they would share once his performance was over.

The audience began to applaud even before the echo of the last notes faded. Emma, of course, joined them, arms raised high while cheering. Killian had to wait for the crowd to calm down to speak again.

"Thank you very much to everyone." His voice came shortness of breath by the effort. "Don't forget to check our website. The poll to choose the song for next week’s duet is still up. You're the best guys!" he shouted enthusiastically, gaining a new wave of applause.

Emma hurried to the side of the stage where Killian would appear, standing at her usual spot. Her heart was beating hard against her rib cage, her skin tingling in anticipation. The moment he stepped down from the stage, she began to walk in his direction, her smile so wide it made her cheeks hurt.

What Emma saw next, however, left her paralyzed, unable to keep walking, her previous smile faded in an instant. Before Killian noticed her, he was surrounded by two fans, two very enthusiastic girls who kept smiling at him, touching him, and interposing her vision.

Dammit!

She hesitated for a second, but suddenly she turned in the direction of the bar, an urgent need to ingest some alcohol settled in her stomach. She wasn't jealous. Not at all. Who am I kidding? A wave of unfounded jealousy seized her, making her good mood disappear, giving way to the sullen mood of the previous days. She sank onto a stool as far as possible from the bar area where Elsa kept Liam company while he was serving.

"Robin!" She gestured with her hand to get her co-worker's attention. "A shot of tequila, please."

Robin raised an eyebrow, a gesture that reminded her of Killian too much. Shit! Shit! She was so fucked up... "Are you sure? Your shift is not over yet. Also, aren't you still taking medication?"

Emma groaned inwardly. What happened to everyone lately? Why didn't they leave her alone? "I don't need to take pills anymore but I'm still convalescing and I'm taking a break. Would you like me to go behind the counter and serve it myself?" She hated herself the moment her words came out of her mouth in such a sharp tone. The poor guy was just doing his job and worrying about her. It wasn't his fault that she was hopelessly in love with her best friend but was such a coward that she could not confess her feelings.

Robin raised his hands in a conciliatory gesture before finally pouring her drink. "Do you need to talk? I'm quite busy right now," he pointed around, "but I can bring Elsa."

She shook her head, one of the corners of her lips moving subtly upwards while she raised her glass in a toast.

Before attending to one of the customers who was demanding his attention, Robin leaned over the counter, approaching her to be heard. "Everyone missed you on stage today, but imagine how a certain person should have felt all alone up there." Robin offered her a soft smile, putting the bottle in front of her before finally leaving her alone with her thoughts and her bad mood.

Great. It seemed that everyone had agreed lately to make insinuations about them. Far from cheering her on, that caused her fear to increase. What's wrong with me? She took the contents of her glass in one swallow, hoping that the liquor would drag all these mixed feelings down.

She was aware that her behavior was totally childish, but she couldn't help feeling disappointed because that was their moment, the moment the two always shared. Right at the end of his performance whether or not she was with him on stage or below, the first thing he always did was hug her. It was their thing. And today, of all days, the moment was even more justified. But it was all ruined by a handful of fans. Although she didn't blame them, obviously, because who wouldn't fall for a guy like him?

Emma was about to pour another shot when suddenly, she felt two strong arms around her waist, a warm body leaning on her back and an unmistakable scent penetrating her nose, making her feel a little dizzy. "I was looking for you, Swan." Killian's words whispered in her ear sent a chill down her spine and a wave of heat toward her very core.

A sigh of relief escaped her throat, not caring at all that his display of affection was perhaps too intimate. She rested her back against his chest, her hands gently caressing his forearms, getting him to tighten his embrace. "Uhm, it looked like you were busy with those girls; I didn’t want to interrupt."

The chuckle that bubbled in his throat tickled her ear. "We're a bit jealous, aren't we?" Killian withdrew his arms and walked away, sitting down on the stool next to hers. She missed his contact instantly, but she straightened her back, trying to hide her disappointment.

"Keep dreaming, Jones." Nevermind the fact that I am, of course...

"Have you been drinking?" Killian cocked his head and narrowed his eyes, pointing at the empty glass on the counter and causing Emma the urge to roll her eyes.

"I don't have to take medication anymore if that's what's bothering you." Emma paused as an idea formed in her head. "I was waiting for you to join me, to toast in honor of your performance, and to thank you for your dedication."

"About that." As he spoke, Killian leaned over the counter to reach the compartment for the glasses and grabbed one of them. His movement caused his shirt to move up a bit, exposing an area of his lower back. Her fingertips began to tingle, longing to touch that patch of revealed skin. "It was the least I could do, given the circumstances." Emma had to blink a couple of times, trying to focus on his words.

It was a difficult task. The way he was looking at her with such intensity made it almost impossible to restrain her impulses and throw her arms around his neck as her mouth devoured him. Instead, she tried to distract her mind to avoid doing anything she could regret later. It was all in vain, though, because all she could think of was that, thanks to the new unexpected plan that Elsa and Liam had brought to her attention, they were going to spend next Monday night together again. She wasn't quite sure what the intentions of both Liam and Elsa were, but, despite her emerging suspicions, she wasn't going to give up the opportunity to spend as much time as possible with Killian. Even if it would almost be like torture to her. A sweet torture, actually.

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Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think :)

This would be the last chapter that I posted in the original version, so from here there will only be new content. I hope you like it. What to expect in the next chapter? New flashback with a new song included. This chapter also includes one of my favorite scenes so far. And... movie night may not go as expected...

#cs ff #csrt #captain swan #cs au #damn you for making me love you #captain swan rewrite a thon #cs au ff #mayquita writes #my cs writings

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tirorah · 3 years

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Road to Berlin’s Episode 12 Is a Spectacular Finish to a Spectacular Show

It was damn good!

After the slightly tame setup Episode 11 provided, it fell to Episode 12 to deliver the payoff not just to the finale that Episode 10 started, but also to wrap up the overarching story of the entire season. And oh boy, did it do just that!

First, let’s talk about our favorite looming antagonists with barely any world-building, the Neuroi! Well, they once again upped the creepy factor by replicating World Capital Germania. How they managed to do this is still unclear, as the city never left the planning stage; it truly does seem like the Neuroi don’t just consume for sustenance or whatever, but also that they can replicate whatever they find in the territory they conquer. Of course, none of this matters much to the story at hand, but it does give us a tiny bit of world-building on them, and it would also explain some of the more bizarre Neuroi designs. Do you remember the Cube Neuroi? I do.

I was also intrigued by this former emperor of Karlsland who designed the plans for Germania. Whoever they were, they were forced to step down, but this raises all kinds of questions. When did this happen? How long has Emperor Frederick IV been in power? What does the mere existence of these plans imply about Karlsland’s history?

By the by, the building that was never in the plans seems to resemble the Great Hall, which was, in fact, shelved due to the start of WW2. Strike Witches occasionally gets some stuff hilariously wrong, but much of the research definitely seems on the money.

See, as far as I know, Nazism doesn’t exist in Karlsland. (Actually, that’d be pretty awkward for Karlsland, with the 501st’s logo being the way it is...) Judea was wiped out by Neuroi in the year 29; this, and several other differences in the world’s history, produced a different world than the one we know. (See the Strike Witches Historical Timeline for more information.) Culturally, Karlsland is far more akin to Imperial Germany, but transplanted into the 1940s and borrowing some iconography and designs.

There WAS tension in Europe before the Neuroi showed up and forced everyone to unite against a common enemy; would that have been enough incentive to create these plans, as well as structures like the Flak Tower? I hope we’ll find out someday. Either way, the fact the Neuroi created such an intricate city-shaped structure based on nothing but plans on paper is pretty terrifying. What else did the overrun countries have lying around when they were invaded?

Right, well, enough about the ancillary stuff. Let’s talk characters!

And cutting right to the chase: Shizuka definitively earned her spot on the team this episode. Yes, I know she technically earned it in the Movie at the earliest, and I guess Episode 10 at the latest. But Episode 10 still left me a bit wanting, as it was part of the process of building up to Shizuka’s turning point as a character. But now we reached that moment at long last, and it was everything I’d hoped to see.

First, RtB shows us how far she’s come. Her determination is nothing short of epic; she’s grown so much since her first engagement in the Movie, and nowhere is that more obvious than here. She lands a difficult shot on the bomb while flying a Striker her magic can’t handle, to the point where it’s physically hurting her to breathe. And then, she sees Yoshika trapped down below, and she finally passes the point of no return.

For the entire season, Shizuka’s been utterly obedient when it came to orders. As soon as someone dropped that o-word, she’d stop whatever action she was entertaining and went along with what she was told, even if it didn’t sit entirely well with her at times. She still does that at first, actually. But then, she finally sees something she can’t walk away from, and she decides to risk her own life to protect the girl who always throws herself into danger for others.

She saves Yoshika’s life, and even though she’s definitely not sounding well, she then takes up the fight in her friend’s defense without a single ounce of hesitation. Her switch from defense to offense is almost explosive; no talking, no checking on Yoshika, just straight-up switching on a dime. And her valiant stand is successful!

Until this happens, and once again I have to commend everyone involved in RtB on the gravity of this scene. Shizuka’s injury is devastating. The cinematography is chilling and incredibly well done: the way the beam punches through the profile shot of her body; how the beam takes all the colors with it as it leaves the screen, monochrome swiftly washing over the scene in its wake, Shizuka already pale; the trails of blood; the dilated eyes. They don’t show her crash, but it sounds awful. And then there’s the blood, positively pouring out of the hole in her body, spilling out until it even reaches Yoshika’s knees, a symbol for Yoshika failing to save her.

As the scene dragged on and Yoshika became increasingly frantic, fear slowly trickled into me again. Strike Witches doesn’t kill characters, but Shizuka was dying for sure. I was still holding on to the hope that everything would turn out okay, but there didn’t seem to be any way out, and that was a gut-punch and a half. It was seriously upsetting, and in a good way: that moment when you realize you do, in fact, care about a character whose presence you’ve questioned for the entire season.

I’d never been so happy to see a Deus Ex Yoshika hit the screen.

Now, I'm not the biggest fan of Yoshika. I do like her as a concept: the pacifist medic thrown into war. But I still feel like Yoshika’s character leans too much on her desire to protect people. It worked well at first, especially when her new companions needed someone to give them hope, but while quite a few characters showed growth as time went on, Yoshika’s always remained relatively static. And RtB’s excellent character writing has only emphasized this for me.

That’s not to say she hasn’t grown into a badass though, because she has! This episode had her at her craziest yet, leveraging the power of her grief to jump-start her magic back to normal levels. And with the fine magic control she’s been forced to work on all season, she can finally let loose and do some incredible things!

A giant shield? Try more than one! Who needs a gun when you can use your magic as a battering ram? (Trude would be so proud!) And sure, just pump so much power into your Striker that you overtake the escaping Bell-type Neuroi holding Wolf! I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Yoshika attained her final form of hax, and it was glorious.

Still, it was clear that battle, short as it was, took a toll on her. This means she’s not exactly all-powerful; it just so happens that she has some very powerful genes, and the right motivation to use them.

Anyway, it was to be expected that Yoshika and Shizuka would hog the spotlight for a bit in this final episode, and that’s all good. The others mostly filled their usual roles, but we did get some great character moments from them!

Let’s start with something adorable: Minna using Sanya as a portable telephone, and Sanya being entirely stoic about it. I was laughing so much, and even more so when Eila saw it happen!

“GYAAH!”

I also liked it when Eila and Sanya were so surprised at seeing so many Neuroi swarms that Sanya said this absolutely needless thing:

You know the shit’s hit the fan when Sanya, of all people, does this.

Oh, and let’s not forget: it was Eila and Sanya who finished off the dome! I’m not sure why everyone else decided to just fly off, but these two have their backs.

Shirley and Lucchini were a solid team. I liked how each of their personalities shone through in their mannerisms and dialogue, with Shirley being calm, perceptive and responsible, as well as looking out for Lucchini. She also made a good guess at Wolf’s hiding place.

Lucchini, meanwhile, was her adorable hyper self, chafing at the narrow tunnels which prevented her from bouncing around, and later, gleefully taking out one Neuroi tower, only to realize she was shooting at the wrong thing, and being utterly unconcerned as she switched targets. Nyroom! She’s such a playful kid.

I also really liked it when Wolf was running away, and Lucchini immediately looked to Shirley to chase it, but Shirley realized she couldn’t catch it from that distance. She’s come to understand her limits over the course of the series, which pairs well with her increased sense of responsibility in RtB.

Lynne and Perrine were once again the support squad, looking out for Shizuka and later on being quite attuned to anything regarding Yoshika. Unfortunately, they didn’t do much else of note, but that’s been a bit of a pattern for them since Episode 8. Either way, I’ll save my thoughts on that for the full season review. (Yes, I’m going to rant about the season in its entirety next. No one is surprised.)

Erica mostly fell into the same support role as Lynne and Perrine this episode, but she did make the highly useful observation of the anomaly in Germania: the big central building that hadn’t been in the plans. And of course, she was one of the determined Karlslander Witches who chased Wolf at the end, limits be damned.

Hey, while we’re on this pic: I’m pretty sure Mio has spent more time with Ursula than with Minna this season. How crazy is that?!

Mio was also here. I’m sad that we didn’t get a Mio Laugh, not even one at the end. I did enjoy how concerned she was about Shizuka’s well-being though; Mio is like Trude in that she’s quite married to her job (she’s even worse about that than Trude), and so her personal feelings can sometimes end up left behind. But she was still doing everything she could to help her friends, and she was genuinely terrified when she realized Shizuka was about to do something dangerous.

Before I forget, I even have to give a slight nod to Patton. He was good in this episode! Even though he loaded up his revolver, he never actually ended up using it; instead, he was a good supporting character. Even his “GODDAMU” was endearing!

Last but certainly not least, Minna and Trude were, again, excellent. I really loved how they worked together this episode: forming a united front when they told Shizuka she had to stay behind (like two parents telling their new kid to do what’s best for her, ha), and Minna using her reasoning and magic to navigate them through the tunnels while Trude smashed stuff.

Ah yes, Trude. Lovely, lovely Trude. When I wrote about Episode 11, I expressed bewilderment at her sudden suggestion of using the underground tunnels. How did she come by this information? Why did Minna not know? But Episode 12 had my back; Erica asked her about it almost immediately, and as it turned out, Trude had the most adorable reason of all time OMG:

All is forgiven, show. All is forgiven. The fact Trude learned everything about a subway system in a city Chris never even lived in, just to engage with her sister’s interests, is so downright cute and awesome that my love for her has once again increased to previously unimaginable levels. And she memorized it all so damn well that she planned out an entire route into the dome for them! This is the best thing ever!

I was also so, so happy for Minna at the end! In previous seasons, it was always Yoshika who dealt the final blow to their antagonist, but here, Yoshika only prevented Wolf from running away. It was Trude and Erica who pierced its defenses, and it was Minna who went in for the kill. Not only is this amazingly cathartic for her, it’s also something Minna 100% earned in this season. Episode 9 did so well in showing us how badly Minna wanted this, to secure victory for her girls and for herself, to the point where she disregarded her own views on self-sacrifice. And now here she was, maybe in the last sortie of her career, and she received the sweetest reward of all.

...Except the promised coffee in Berlin, which we never got! But that’s okay; this episode already did so much in its runtime, I can’t fault it for not showing us something that would take some time to happen.

Instead, we got something equally satisfying, and something I loved about the ending: it showed us everyone working hard to rebuild Berlin after the battle. RtB has been so good at details, at continuity and consequences, and here, we see that life moves on. Berlin is in ruins, and it’s going to take a lot of elbow grease to get it and the rest of northern Karlsland back into shape. But with people returning and the 501st doing everything they can to help, reconstruction will surely succeed.

And Perrine will one day conquer the world with her army of adopted children!

Life also moved on in a different way. As it turned out (or maybe I just forgot about this?), Wolf was one of two hives in Karlsland. The other one is located somewhere in the south, and thus, the 501st continues their battle for peace. I wonder if this means we’ll get more 501st content down the line? It hasn’t been ruled out, and it’d be amazing to see where these girls go next. (I demand more coffee scenes!)

#strike witches #road to berlin #funnily enough: there's one continuity error in this episode #RtB's usually so good at preventing this (except when that Neuroi tried to ram Lucchini in Episode 4)#anyway: when Trude punches through the wall into the dome's underbelly she's only carrying one gun #but no one else is carrying it for her #and pretty soon afterward she has two guns again #maybe her butt really is a pocket dimension!

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iamtheblondestblonde · 4 years

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Slides and Serendipity

Part Three (4.3k)

Part One Part Two

AN: Here comes part three. Are you happy with the lengths of the chapters or do you think I should split them up into smaller parts? Feedback is appreciated as always and enjoy

Warnings: Language because Tyler is Tyler

The next morning I woke up with a pounding head. Even chugging water before going to sleep had not helped to prevent the hangover that was now haunting me. I didn’t even want to imagine how Tyler felt as he’d had way more to drink than I did but least he had the day off.

A cold shower and changing into a comfortable outfit made things better but I still would’ve loved to stay in bed all day.

Yogi didn’t care about my headache of course and wanted attention as soon as I stumbled into the living room downstairs. After throwing his favorite ball a few times in the backyard I could at least convince him to come cuddling with me on the sofa.

At that point my mind went back to the previous night and the way Tyler had looked at me all evening. On a whim I pulled my phone out to shoot a text to Tyler.

Me: Are you up yet?

I didn’t have to wait long until he sent back a picture of himself buried under Gerry on the couch, similar to my own position. Even sleepy he looked hot as hell, which was definitely not fair to everyone else on this planet.

Tyler: Barely.. My headache is so bad I didn’t even manage to make breakfast yet

I hadn’t gotten that far yet either so I suggested making breakfast together, mostly because I was too lazy to do all the work by myself and also because even though I had only seen him a couple of hours ago, I wouldn’t mind looking at this fine male specimen again.

I wasn’t really in the mood for walking and I definitely shouldn’t be driving in my stage so I decided on the easiest option, putting on roller skates and having Yogi pull me over to Tyler’s house. Perks of having a Husky mix. We had done this a couple of times over the last month and each time I had to do less work in my skates. Yogi was growing up so fast and his genes made him the perfect partner for stuff like this, in a couple of weeks I could probably stop skating altogether and only yell directions.

Tyler waited for me at the front gate to his house and started laughing as soon as he saw Yogi dragging me across the street. He opened the iron gates and then filmed us as Yogi kept running to his front door.

“Before you accuse me of anything, he loves this!”, I yelled over my shoulder as we passed him but I had to laugh as well. I knew we probably looked ridiculous but at least it was great exercise for the dog.

“Do you think I could get one of mine to do this with me?”, Tyler asked as I took of the skates in his doorway, letting Yogi off the leash.

“No way. Cash and Marshall are too lazy and with Gerry you’d end up flat on your ass in five seconds. One squirrel is all it’d take to ruin your day but you’re welcome to come with us sometime. I think you’re too heavy for him to pull though, he can barely do me.”

His pout made me laugh, which kind of didn’t make my headache any more enjoyable but he knew there was absolutely no way Yogi could pull him the way he’d just pulled me.

“You make it sound like I’m fat, this is all muscle baby”, Tyler joked, pulling up the hem of his shirt and flexing. I already knew that he was definitely anything but fat from feeling him up the day before, but I wasn’t going to turn down or interrupt the show he was currently giving me so I kept giving him unimpressed looks.

“You still probably weigh twice as much as I do so that’s too much for Yogi but I could probably do it, it’ll be a great workout for me”

With the way his face lit up at my idea nobody would have been able to guess that this guy probably spent half his life skating around and actually enjoying it, no matter if on or off the ice.

“I’ll definitely take you up on that but let’s do that sometime when I don’t feel like there’s a techno rave going on inside my head”

With that we moved on to the kitchen and Tyler put on some music as background noise for our cooking. Yogi was outside, happily chasing Tyler’s dogs around and taking full advantage of the pool. Rifling through his fridge I pulled out some fruits for smoothies and to snack while he prepared everything for ‘The Best Hangover Breakfast’, aka grilled cheese sandwiches. I was cutting up some watermelon and humming along to the music when Tyler spoke up.

“My friends and teammates have all been texting me nonstop about you, they probably like you better than me already”

His comment made me smile but I was unsure what to respond for a moment. As much as I enjoyed my time with him, I knew what everyone else said about him and it was stuff like this that could cause lots of problems for me in the future if I wasn’t careful.

“That’s because I’m way nicer than you are but they’ll probably never let us play beer pong together again”, I deflected, desperately trying to keep things at a platonic level where I felt comfortable.

“How are you so good at that by the way? I didn’t really peg MIT students as the type of people who would be good at frat party games”

“You’d be surprised really, you’re constantly under so much pressure that you need a way of blowing off some steam and smart people usually have the dumbest ideas. In my junior year for example we were throwing a party in our dorm and calculated the exact number of toilets we needed to flush in order to break the plumbing system. We didn’t really think far ahead though, because we had to use the showers and toilets in other dorms for over a week after that”, I told him and he burst out in a giggle that would have most sorority girls proud, gripping the counter so he wouldn’t fall over. His ridiculous laugh was so infectious that I had to laugh as well, still immensely fond of all the crazy things that had happened during college.

“Sometimes I wish I could’ve gone to college as well, from what I’ve heard most people have a blast there and I feel like I’ve missed out on a lot”, he told me after he’d calmed down, now turned around so he could look me in the eyes.

“I don’t know about that, you kinda got the best of both worlds. You didn’t have daily mental breakdowns during exam season and still got to attend frat parties and stuff. You also get to do something you love for a living, so your life doesn’t look too bad if you ask me”, I responded softly, getting the feeling that he truly did feel like he’d simply skipped over an important part in life. He smiled at me and we dropped the topic, instead continuing a more lighthearted conversation and taking our breakfast outside.

“I’m going to miss having all this time to myself soon. I still have two more weeks until my self-imposed deadline but I need to start buying stuff for my office and take care of all these other things”, I sighed, leaning back on my chair and closing my eyes to shut out the sun. I looked forward to being productive again, but I also really loved doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.

“I get what you mean. I have all those workouts and practice still but it’s nothing compared to when the season starts, especially when we want to make the playoffs again. I love hockey and I can’t wait to play again but it’s just a lot sometimes”, Tyler responded and I nodded understandingly.

“For you it’s worse because you’re in the spotlight all the time. If I fuck up that’s on me and reflects only on myself and maybe the people that I’m working with. People blame you for things you have no control over most of the time and get mad all the time”

He nodded and was quiet for a while after that, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. We were simply both lost in our thoughts but still enjoying each other’s presence. Eventually the pounding in my head subsided and Tyler must have felt better as well because he offered to show me around the house.

I was wrong about the waterslide into his pool being as extra as one could get because I hadn’t noticed the small lake with a goddamn fountain and private tennis court the day before.

“We’ll have to play sometime, I’ll wipe the floor with you”, I said after he told me that he didn’t really play that much. It was a mystery to me why he would need a private court in that case but that’s athletes, I guess. I wasn’t even that good myself but I was determined to beat him. He promised to end me in basketball in turn and he was probably right, because that sport had for obvious reasons, mostly my height and tiny hands, never been my forte.

The way he was proudly showing me all of his hockey related belongings was incredibly endearing and his comments were super cute. It was clear that he loved the game and that nothing could stop this passion and I admired him for it.

Quite a while later I made my way back to my house, Yogi almost not wanting to get out of the humongous pool. Once I had the roller skates back on, I got in the mood for it and for the next hour we casually continued skating around, although this time I didn’t let him do all the work. I really needed to stop slacking and look up nearby gyms soon or I could kiss all of my hard work on my body goodbye.

The rest of my Saturday afternoon was spent texting Katie about lunch and in front of my tablet, facetiming the girls so I could relay the events of the day before. Safe to say there was constant screaming, squealing and lots of questions being shot at me. Lisa was incredibly pleased with herself because her plan of getting Tyler’s attention had worked but Emily was worried that it had worked a little too well while Mara kept saying that I was living her dream.

“You need to tone it down a bit, I think. You said you didn’t want to risk your friendship through sleeping with him right now, so you need to make sure that things don’t get this heated again or you’re going to get hurt”, she said softly and I knew she had a point. Keeping my hands off of Tyler for now would be the only way to avoid unnecessary drama. I knew his type and while I usually didn’t mind hookups, famous athletes weren’t the best choice in that department.

“From what you’ve told he sounds incredibly sweet but don’t forget that that could all be an act to get you to sleep with him. Don’t shut him out completely though, just kinda slowly test the waters but stay in the shallow part if you know what I’m getting at”, Mara threw in and started wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. I wasn’t entirely sure I knew what she meant but I also didn’t know if I wanted an explicit explanation on what she considered the shallow part to be exactly.

“And if you really need to get laid to get it out of your system, I have some people in your area I can hook you up with, literally”, Lisa threw in and if there wasn’t a screen between us, I’d have smacked her across the head.

I decided to not have a lazy Sunday for once, as I’d literally had lazy days for almost two weeks straight. Instead I grabbed measuring tape and walked into the second living room, soon to be my office. For the next three hours I was busy measuring everything and slowly putting together a plan on my tablet while also cursing the US customary system of units. I had lived the last seven years in the US and while I had gotten used to the seemingly random numbers over time, I was still convinced that it was only implemented to fuck with people.

The room was thankfully big enough to fit a medium-sized conference table that I’d need and my own desk without feeling crowded. The big windows weren’t optimal because of the computer screens, but they were facing north at least. They would also help to not make this room look like a bunker once I finally had everything I needed.

Happy with the work I had done I finally relaxed on my couch with Yogi curled up on top of me. I was full on prepared to spend the rest of my day with him like this, but Tyler had other plans. We’d only met half a week ago and seen each other every day since, mostly out of his initiative and today would apparently be no different. He asked me if I wanted to watch some movies ‘with the children’ and I invited him over to my place along with the dogs.

Ten minutes later he was standing at my door in shorts and a deliciously tight t shirt, the dogs excitedly circling his legs before greeting me enthusiastically. Afterwards I leaned up to hug him while he joked that I only liked him for the dogs.

“It’s a big part I’m not gonna lie”, I teased and ushered him inside where our children were already running around and playing with each other. They got along so well and it was a very cute sight to see.

“Your place looks really beautiful by the way, you have a great taste for this stuff”, he commented, picking up a throw pillow from the couch to inspect it further. It wasn’t the first time he’d been to my house, but last time he had only really focused on the kitchen because we were both really hungry.

I took him on a little tour around the house and pointed out different things along the way while we updated each other on any possible news.

“This is going to be the office but it doesn’t look like much right now, I have to go and buy all of the stuff that I need sometime this week so don’t judge me”

“I’m not judging but if you need some help I can come with you. I think I have a noon practice when you’re getting lunch with the girls so you can come with them to the arena after and I can take you”, he offered and I mentally had a slack jaw out of surprise. This was nothing like the Tyler that was always portrayed in the media, but I wasn’t sure if it was an act like Mara said or if he was being genuine. I needed to be careful but at the same time I really wanted to figure out why he bothered being so nice with me.

The dogs were following us around of course and I picked up Yogi and carried him upstairs, explaining to Tyler that he was scared of stairs for some reason. He insisted on getting to carry Yogi back downstairs because he thought it was cute. We also kept stopping because he asked me all kinds of questions and demanded stories to most pictures so by the time we finished the tour my stomach was already announcing that it was time for dinner.

“What do you want to eat?”, I asked him once we were back in my kitchen.

“Don’t tell on me but I’ve been craving pizza all day”, he responded and I laughed because he might be 27 but from what I’ve learned so far he’d have the eating habits of a five year old if he could.

“Am I going to get you in trouble if I make us some?”, I asked, already mentally checking if I had all of the needed ingredients in the house.

“You’re going to make me pizza? I was actually thinking of just ordering some but now there’s no way I’m turning that down so it’s going to have to be our secret, I guess”

“I’m not going to make you pizza, we are going to make pizza for the both of us because I really think it’s about time you learn how to make anything besides grilled cheese”, I chided him on his terrible cooking skills. It was a mystery how he’d survived so long without barely any basic knowledge in the kitchen, but I was planning to change that from now on.

I was currently both enjoying and regretting that decision at the same time.

I leaned against the kitchen island next to Tyler, trying not to drool over the way his big hands were working on the dough. I could see his muscles working under that tight shirt and honestly kneading pizza dough should not be this sexy, but Tyler somehow made my thoughts go in directions that were anything but appropriate.

“Can you get my hair out of my face? There’s this one strand that just keeps fucking with me”, he cursed and I laughed, softly reaching up to help him out. He wasn’t wearing a snapback tonight and his hair was all over the place by now, which was kind of cute but also definitely kind of hot. At this point my body didn’t know how to react anymore.

I was taking pictures of him ‘to commemorate these first steps’ and while I couldn’t exactly post any on social media without causing a shitstorm, I sent some of them to the girls, making the groupchat explode with messages. Tyler made me film him and add it to his insta story so he could show off his new skill to the world

Gerry and Yogi joined us on the couch while we waited for the dough to rise. Cash was sprawled out on the floor and Marshall had made himself comfortable on Yogi’s bed. I let Tyler pick out a movie while trying to make myself comfortable next to him. He had one arm resting on the back of the couch and I gradually found myself snuggling closer as the time passed. I had just put my head down on his shoulder when my timer reminded me that we had food to attend to.

I showed Tyler how to properly roll it out and then let him take over. His first try was so terrible that I found myself documenting everything again but the second time around he was doing much better already. With some help from me we soon had two near perfectly round pieces of dough ready to be turned into deliciousness.

Tyler had called me an European pizza snob when I’d told him that I didn’t have any peperoni because I didn’t like the greasy fake taste of the sausage but he let me pick out substitutes for him to add instead. Soon the smell made waiting even harder and I couldn’t concentrate on the film anymore but Tyler rubbing circles on my back probably played a part in that as well.

“You might be a snob but you know how to make pizza like damn”, he exclaimed after taking the first bite and I smiled proudly. America had much to learn when it came to pizza and I was more than happy to broaden his horizon in that department.

“That’s why I try to avoid most Italian restaurants here, the food there doesn’t taste the way it’s supposed to and American lasagna is a disgrace to the Italian masterpiece “

“Like I said, snob”

Afterwards we were cuddled up on the couch again and Tyler let me pick out the next movie. I desperately tried to avoid anything with romance or sex in it because I wasn’t sure I could handle that with him so close to me right now. I was leaning against the armrest and this time Tyler was using my lap as a pillow. I tried to stop myself but eventually gave in and started to weave my hand through his hair, softly stroking his head.

He let out a low hum of pleasure and I couldn’t help the direction my thoughts were now going. This much sexual tension was not normal, was it?

“Now I know why my dogs like you so much, you give the best head scratches, especially with those long nails”, he said and I laughed softly, not knowing what to respond instead.

Halfway through the movie I fully lied down and Tyler put his head right below my boobs, wrapping an arm around my body. Now we were both fully reclined on my couch and he had to rest some of his weight on me so we could both fit but I didn’t mind. I kept my hand in his hair at first but eventually moved downwards, slowly and lightly raking my nails across his back the way I knew guys loved.

“Fuck, this feels so good”, he murmured against me and my mind went straight back to the gutter again. How could it not when he was saying stuff like that?!

By the end of the movie I was close to passing out and Tyler wasn’t any different. He slowly untangled himself from me and then called for his dogs, who had fallen asleep already. He thanked me for the pizza and everything else and then he was out the door, leaving me to fall into a peaceful slumber, my dreams filled with images of him.

On Monday a package arrived for me, even though I hadn’t ordered anything lately. I was suspicious to open it but was rewarded with a new pair of the Givenchy slides Gerry had ruined. There was even a note attached that read:

Still sorry that Gerry chewed on your shoes but I’m also happy I got to meet you because of that

-Tyler

The gesture was so sweet that I couldn’t stop smiling for the next couple of hours. I sent a picture of me wearing them to Tyler, thanking him for the present and another picture of the note to the girls, who were of course freaking out again.

The day after that Tyler texted me to see if I was up for an adventure after he finished his workout at noon, an invitation I’d never turn down.

Tyler: It’s not dog-friendly, but you’re going to love the aquarium here it’s awesome

He told me that one of his friends could watch the dogs, the same one who would sometimes watch them whenever he had to go on roadtrips during the season. He said that this way we wouldn’t have to rush through and could grab a bite to eat afterwards as well. His offer was hard to turn down, so I agreed and quickly showered before picking out a cute outfit and leaving to pick him up. It was time to get some more kilometers on my new car.

“Nice car, is that the SQ5?”, Tyler whistled as I parked in his driveway to let Yogi out, who immediately ran ahead to greet him.

“Get your facts straight dude, that’s the SQ8. I thought you were into cars?”, I teased and stood up un my tippy toes to hug him.

“I am but I never really got into Audis, although looking at that I might have to”, he responded grinning and I lightly swatted at his chest before walking inside where his friend was already waiting. I’d brought stuff for Yogi and made sure that he was comfortable before we said our goodbyes and left. We pulled out on the driveway and Tyler typed in the address of the aquarium.

I let him select one of his playlists and was surprised to hear Justin Bieber blasting through my speakers. This guy was truly unpredictable. It was quite the sight to see this 200-pound, burly and bearded guy loudly singing along and knowing all the words to ‘Love Yourself’ but the hilarity of it had me in tears soon enough. His song choices kept surprising me until we finally pulled into the parking lot. I locked the car and turned around to see Tyler looking at me as if he was trying to figure something out.

��I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but how are you affording all of this? You live in our neighborhood, you wear 200$ slides to the dog park and you drive a car that I’m pretty sure costs well over 100 grand. Do you make this much from developing apps only or is there a side business that you haven’t told me about yet?”, he asked curiously and I mentally flinched.

I didn’t mind talking about money with Tyler per se, he was well off himself for all that mattered, but I always got embarrassed talking about my past. However, if I had to talk about the way I had made loads of money, I might as well do it with somebody who was racking in large sums as well. His life was crazy enough that he might understand me.

“Do you want the short answer or the full story?”

“The full story of course. I got all day baby”, he tried to lighten the mood and I had to laugh at the pet name.

“Consider this your heads up though, it gets kind of crazy at some points”, I warned, before starting at the beginning.

Part Four here

#Slides and Serendipity #nhl hockey #nhl imagine #nhl players #hockey writing #tyler seguin #dallas stars #dallas #fanfiction #hot hockey players #nhl

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okaybutlikeimagine · 4 years

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Waltzes are for Happy People

(a little fic I wrote in response to this ask I received where someone asked what kind of classical music Billy would listen to. I got really carried away giving Billy fond memories of family members he doesn’t get to see anymore. ♥ I made myself hurt but also it’s fluffy too so no worries)

you can find it on AO3 here

tags: fluffy, angsty, a couple of OCs that I made real quick just bc I wanted to give Billy family.

Warnings: brief mentions of abuse

Words: 3730

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Billy has an aunt on his mother’s side.

She lives up in the Bay Area. She saw Billy a little bit after he was born, more than excited about meeting the newest baby in the family. And then again when he was about 4 and she came down to visit with her husband to take Billy to Disneyland and buy him cotton candy and little Mickey Mouse ears and take him on a Small World and let him meet Mickey.

When Billy is about 8, his aunt comes back down to drive him up to the Bay Area for Christmas. It’s a long drive, a semi-long stay, and a lot of random circumstances that lead to his being able to go. Neil’s childhood friend dies, Billy’s mother catches a stomach bug and can’t take care of Billy while they’re at home, and neither of his parents want their son going to this funeral or catching sick for Christmas.

And Billy’s aunt has been begging and pleading his mother to see Billy again. See how he’s grown, take him out to the city, have some family over at her house for Christmas because her husband left a couple years ago and she doesn’t like being alone for the holidays.

So that’s how Billy ends up on a drive up to the Bay Area with his aunt, listening to jazz music Billy’s never heard. The car smells of Christmas trees- Billy’s pretty sure it’s from the pine tree shaped car fresheners.

“We’re gonna see a show in the city for Christmas, doesn’t that sound fun?”

Billy shrugs. He figures it’s a movie. He’s never been to a show that wasn’t a movie. “What show?”

“The Nutcracker. You know, your cousin is performing in it. She got us tickets!”

Billy didn’t know he had a cousin.

But he has a wonderful time up in the bay. She shows him all there is to see and feeds him every piece of Christmas candy Billy can even think of and makes him hot chocolate and sits down with him to watch a different Christmas movie each night. He gets spoiled. Billy has never been spoiled.

And so on Christmas day, after opening presents (he gets one that his parents sent down with him, but the rest are from his aunt. Lots of cool toys he’d never think to ask for and a couple of shirts he actually thinks look pretty nice. Might be a bit too warm to wear down in San Diego, but still) and watching the Rockettes on TV, his aunt tells him to put on a nice, light sweater he packed and some nice jeans and they head out to the city to see The Nutcracker.

And Billy has always been kind of an antsy kid. He doesn’t like to sit down for too long. His teachers get upset at him because he can’t focus very well. But for something that has absolutely no words/speaking in it whatsoever... this is actually very interesting. The sets are huge, the costumes are colorful, their faces are so lively, the music is interesting. His heart absolutely drops when the tree grows big and the large fireplace comes out.

And yeah, he’s a little confused about the story, but he thinks the dancing soldier is cool and he likes the music that plays while he dances. The Rat King is kind of scary, he flinches a little when he sees him, but they’re sword fighting and that’s not what he thought he signed up for when he agreed to come to this. And then...

And then.....

And then Waltz of the Snowflakes comes on.

Women, 2 at a time, are running and jumping and... frolicking? onto stage and once the 4th one comes on, Billy’s aunt pats his arm and points.

“That’s your cousin!” She whispers. Billy tries to memorize what she looks like, but everyone is dressed the same and they’re all running on and off the stage and there’s a lot of them and Billy’s head is kind of spinning.

But...

But it’s beautiful. The music is spinning along with them as they twirl and sparkle and the music has so many different sounds all at once and it’s almost overwhelming. But it’s beautiful and Billy keeps asking his aunt which one his cousin is because he wants to watch her. Billy memorizes her face a couple minutes into the dance. She’s beautiful, even though Billy can’t really see her face. It’s just the way she moves. Billy thinks she’s the best dancer on that stage, even better than the girl with the skirt that sticks out and dances in front most of the time. No, he’s not biased, his cousin is the best. She jumps higher and her faces are better and her hands are nicer and she’s just better, thank you. Of course she’s better, she’s his cousin.

And suddenly the music is amping up, then it’s swirly and his cousin is running to their side of the stage. Billy and his aunt are sitting in the front row, all the way at the end, and his cousin is coming towards them, stopping in the corner, posing and smiling prettily and Billy swears she makes eye contact with him and smiles wider and winks. Billy’s returning smile is involuntary.

And then the music stops. Everyone’s clapping. Billy tags along. He kinda wishes it could keep going, it was just so pretty and the rest of it has been cool, sure, but that was just... so pretty. Billy’s never seen snow before but now he wants to live in it.

But then there’s music underneath the clapping. Something low and almost threatening and-

It gets faster. His cousin looks like she takes a big breath before she runs away to join the rest of the girls, spinning and twirling and kicking and jumping. There’s voices singing now and it’s almost like the girls are singing and then there’s snow.

Like... lots of snow.

It’s a blizzard, all of the girls running and jumping and spinning and the music is rising and getting louder, impossibly louder and it’s inside Billy’s chest and he almost can’t see anyone through the snowfall but he can still pick out his cousin, he swears on it, and then-

It’s... quiet again. The music is soft. There’s probably story happening but Billy is busy watching his cousin and the girls around her, all of them breathing real heavy and he’s joining them because wow the music was so intense he felt it. And the snow is still falling and the little girl from the beginning comes and goes on some sleigh and they all pose and then the curtain is falling and... the lights come on.

“How did you like it?” is the first thing his aunt asks and Billy feels frazzled.

“It’s over?”

She laughs. “No honey, that was just the first act. Isn’t your cousin good?”

Billy nods. “Yeah.”

She leads him out to the lobby, buying them both a cookie in the shape of a Nutcracker to munch on before the next act starts.

And the rest of the show is pretty, the music is all so different and it all hits him differently, but he can’t stop thinking about all that snow. About the swirling sound of the music. About the way the people on stage were the music it was... it was something Billy’s never seen or heard and he’s floored. Still.

After the show, his aunt holds his hand (to his dismay. He is eight, y’know. He doesn’t need his hand held.) and walks him out of the theater. Everyone lingers around the front, chattering among themselves and shivering slightly in the cold, but his aunt leads him around the side of the theater and over to a rather large door that has a different kind of bustling energy. They stand there, waiting as people run in and out with an excitable and happy chatter surrounding them. When he looks up to her to ask what they’re doing, she leans down to tell him they’re waiting for his cousin.

And yeah... Billy was right, she’s beautiful. Billy feels kinda proud about it? He knows his mom is pretty, his aunt is also pretty, it makes sense that his cousin is just as pretty. Maybe prettier? Although she does have a lot of make-up on and crazy long eyelashes. They almost touch her eyebrows.

“Hey mom! Hey, you brought the kid!” She bends down a little bit to be at eye level with him, putting her hands on her knees. “What’s up, little dude, how’d you like the show?”

Billy just nods, a little amazed. Her presence is so large.

“Not too boring for ya?”

Billy shakes his head. She laughs a slightly raspy laugh.

“Good! I was a little worried when my mom said you were coming. I’m Margaret by the way.”

She holds her hand out to shake. Billy takes it.

“Billy.”

“Nice to finally meet you, Billy! I love your hair. It looks like it curls up, huh?”

Billy nods. She ruffles it a bit.

“I wish mine curled up like that.” She straightens out and smiles down on him before turning to her mom and asking how their Christmas has been. Having a little conversation with her, saying “I don’t have any more shows, so I can come celebrate with you. I don’t need to go to whatever party they’re having, not when my baby cousin’s in town!”

She ruffles Billy’s hair again. He scrunches up his nose at the use of the word “baby” and she just laughs at him before getting a mischievous look in her eye.

“Hey, you wanna see something cool?” There’s fire dancing in her eyes. Billy nods. She looks back at the stage door and then grabs his hand and presses her finger to her lips. “Shh. Come with me.”

She gives a small wave to her mom and tells her they’ll be back before pulling Billy through the stage door.

Past it is a river of people. Everyone rushing around and chattering and wearing absolute masks of make-up. They all leave trails of sparkles behind them and Billy’s pretty sure he has some in his hair that’s gonna be real hard to get out.

But Margaret is waving hi and patting people on the back and shoulder with her left hand and holding Billy tight with her right, breaking through the crowd and leading his way until they get up to a large door.

She turns to face him and puts a finger to her lips again. “Remember, shh! Alright?”

Billy nods.

She opens the door behind her and pulls him through and it’s dark. Real fucking dark, especially when the door closes. But she takes him around a corner and-

Someone stops them.

“Hey, Charlie! Just passing through.”

“No.” He says, not looking up from his clipboard.

“Come on, I have my baby cousin with me!” She pulls Billy forward. “He’s never been on a stage before! He drove hours up here to see me, you can’t let us out there for five minutes?”

The guy- Charlie -looks down at Billy with a cold look. Billy can read the situation and puts on his best puppy dog face. He knows his blue eyes can get him anything he wants. He’s done it plenty times at arcades and candy stores.

Margaret gestures to him. “See! He just wants to see the stage!”

Charlie sighs. “Fine. You have five minutes, alright?”

“Thanks Charlie! Love you!” Margaret says quickly before taking Billy fully around the corner and-

Woah.

In the darkness of the curtains and large set pieces, there’s what seems like a full room of light. From where Billy’s standing it looks like heaven. Like they’re walking into the light and they literally are but...

“Whaddya think?” She asks as they walk out onto the illuminated stage.

The sets are massive. A lot bigger than they look from the audience. The ground is covered in this weird, yellow-ish, powdery stuff with confusing patterns in it and Billy is looking out into the rows and rows and rows and rows and rows of seats. Looks up at the balcony. Stares in awe.

“Uhm… woah.”

Margaret smiles wide. “I know, right? Isn’t it gorgeous? Oh! That’s where you were sitting, right?” She asks, walking over to the front right corner of the stage. “And this is where I was! Snowflake number four.”

She gives him a bright smile and then a shrug.

“They don’t actually give us numbers, but I like to call myself Snowflake number four.”

Billy laughs a bit.

“Sounds important.” Billy says quietly, kicking at the dusty stuff on the ground. Margaret laughs and shoves at his shoulder.

“You bet it is! If I don’t come out, the show can’t keep going.”

Billy chuckles, shakes his head, looks around the stage and watches the people bustling around, watches the sets get moved, watches the way Margaret walks gracefully around the stage, spinning a bit, like she’s dancing.

“Do something.” Billy’s voice blurts out before he can think about it. She turns to him with a laugh.

“Do something? Do what?”

Billy shrugs. “Dance?”

She nods. “Alright, I guess. But only if you dance with me!”

Billy’s immediately apprehensive, and it seems like she can tell, because she laughs and moves to stand right next to him. “Come on, it’s not too hard. Just put your foot out- yeah, there you go! Now stick your toes down… yeah! And jump a little… You got it!”

And she walks him through a few more jumps that for him are hops, and she holds his hand and spins him around, and then she says: “C’mere! I bet I can lift you, just stick your legs out.”

And so he lets her lift him and tries to stick his legs out as much as he can as she lifts him up a bit and sets him down on the right side of her, both of them full of giggles.

“Look at that! You could be our next Clara! Think I would make a good Nutcracker?”

Billy nods. “Yeah, I think you’d be pretty good.”

“Thanks, little dude.” She ruffles his hair again.

“The costume might be too big though. His head is huge.”

“Eh.” She swipes at the air. “I’ll wear shoulder pads.”

And they walk around and Margaret twirls and she shows him the tree and Billy wants to climb it and she lets him get in the sleigh and at that, Charlie shoos them away.

And so they run away in a fit of giggles, meeting back up with Billy’s aunt outside to spend the night on the city. They walk around and see all the lights. They go to the park and see a large Christmas tree all lit up. They tell stories and laugh and buy cookies at a little bakery on the corner and they head back home and watch Christmas movies all bundled up and Billy thinks this might be the most beautiful Christmas. Lights and warmth and music and all.

His cousin gifts him a little snowflake ornament.

“It’s me! Snowflake number four.” She’s excited and he laughs with her at that. “So you remember to come back and see the show again some time. They’ve got me locked up in a contract, so my ass is gonna be here for a while. You can bring your parents too! I’d love to see my Auntie Seashell again.”

Billy doesn’t know what she means exactly, but he smiles at her giggle.

She gives Billy a big, squishy hug and tells him- “I’m serious, little dude. You’ve gotta come back and see me! You’re good company.”

Billy promises. He’s adamant.

The drive back down is faster than he wants. Sadder than he wants. He thinks he’ll miss the jazz music but he doesn’t know why. He feels the temperature get warmer and misses the pinching of the cold air.

And of course, Billy doesn’t go back. Not before his cousin is done with the Nutcracker. Not before she’s done with her ballet career completely. Ballerina’s careers are short lived anyway.

Christmases in San Diego get colder. Far, far colder. His mother leaves and he’s there, freezing in their 70 degree house because nothing feels right. He only sees cold glares, the only touch he receives is the harsh back of a large hand and he’s… he freezes over. Christmas isn’t warm here like in the 35 degree weather of the city, holding the soft hands of two women who looked at him like they cared. Even with his new sister and new… no. Not even these new women in his life could feed warmth into the holidays.

She’s not my mom. He had growled at his new stupid sister before he pushed her over.

But every year around Christmas, Billy thinks of his Margaret. Thinks of his aunt and his cousin and all of the other family he probably has that he doesn’t know a damn thing about. About all of the people who look like him out there. About all of their talents. They’re the only memories that keep him warm. The thought that there are people out there who look like him. There are people of his flesh and blood out there who might love him if they knew him. If they knew he was here, freezing on the floor of a home that deems him unloveable.

He still has the ornament. He stopped putting it on the tree when his dad started getting more violent. More angry. After the one year where his dad knocked the tree over and caused more than a handful of ornaments to shatter, including the one that they bought for Billy’s first Christmas. The one they always made sure Billy put up every year.

Every year Billy thinks of going to see that show. Of how bright the city was. He hears the random Nutcracker songs they play on the radio and in Christmas commercials and he feels his heart light up.

The Christmases are a lot colder in Hawkins, but he still warms at the sound of the ballet.

And everyone is very very very confused when he buys a cassette tape of the Nutcracker.

But the first day it snows, the first time Billy sees it actually snow from the sky for the first time in his life, he hears the song playing through his head. He puts the tape in. He sits in the window with a mug of hot chocolate and he watches. No one understands.

Until he talks to Steve about it. One night when they get snowed in at Steve’s house and Billy is getting lost in the swirling snowfall, thinking he sees girls that look like his cousin dancing on the wind, even if they’re blurry and vague, and asks Steve for a mug of hot chocolate.

“Whatcha thinking about?”

Billy feels his breath pull inside of him.

“My cousin.”

There’s a pause.

“I didn’t know you had cousins.”

“Yeah well…” I didn’t know it for a long time. Billy thinks. “Yeah. I do.”

Steve watches his boyfriend, sees his eyes track something outside like there’s something to see that isn’t just snowfall.

“What’s got you thinking about your cousin?”

Billy’s eyes burn a bit.

“She…She lives back in California. And when I met her… she was in the Nutcracker. In San Francisco.”

“Wow.” Steve sounds impressed. “Sounds cool.”

“Yeah, she was pretty fucking cool. She was really good. She uh… She was a snowflake.”

Steve sees the breath fill Billy’s chest and exit slowly.

“Snowflake number four.” He mutters before biting at his lip. It’s an anxious gesture.

“Sounds like an important part.” Steve jests.

Billy chuckles a bit at that, being pulled quickly into a memory, even for a brief moment. He feels he’s gonna get whiplash from it.

“Yeah.” he says absent-mindedly.

They sit. Steve watches the snow like he sees something now too. He doesn’t. He just sees snow. But if he thinks real hard, he can see a tiny figure dancing on the falling flecks.

He, too, went to a ballet once. With his mom and her friends and one of their daughters. It wasn’t a horrible experience, but it was definitely irritating being toted around like a trophy instead of a son. Steve had disliked the show just out of principle for hating the experience.

“Is that why you’re always listening to that tape you have? Of the Nutcracker?”

Billy laughs. “Yeah, yeah, it is. It was just… It was such a good Christmas. It was probably the best Christmas I’ve ever had.”

Billy doesn’t want to say it was because they were his family and he felt a connection with them, but he thinks that’s why. He loves his found family, he’d die for them a million times over. He doesn’t even have to think about it. But…

Those two people were blood relatives of him. There was a connection there that made him feel a different kind of special.

Steve watches Billy yearn for something he can’t see. He pulls Billy into his lap and they cuddle up underneath blankets to watch the snow together.

Steve listens as Billy gushes. He put a little liquor into his hot chocolate, gets a little loose about speaking like he does when he’s tipsy, and tells Steve all about how pretty it was. How beautiful. How talented and gorgeous his cousin was and “Of course she was, she is my cousin.”

Steve chuckles at that.

And one Christmas, Steve gives Billy an envelope for a gift.

“Gee, what a special present.” Billy says with more confusion in his voice than actual disdain. Steve laughs anyway and waits for Billy to open the envelope.

He pulls out two strips of paper.

“Tickets to…? Really?” Billy asks, looking up at Steve with wide, confused eyes.

“In New York, yeah. I know they’re not in San Francisco and I know your cousin won’t be there but… I dunno. I thought it’d be fun. You seem to like the music at least and-”

Billy hugs Steve tight immediately. Squeezes him hard and buries his face in Steve’s neck and mumbles multiple thank yous.

Steve laughs.

(catch it on AO3 here)

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speaktopoojasingh · 4 years

Text

The Blind Date

Shane disheartened with his spirits low, headed his way back towards his home. He looked for the keys in the pocket hurriedly and quietly shuts the main door without uttering a single word and goes straight into his bedroom.

“Shane, how was it? Why do you look so low? Was she not pretty enough for you? Come on man, you can’t be that picky”. Austin asked, being muddled, scratching his head, as he was the one who had set this date up.

“Austin, I just want to be left by myself, please don’t pester me right now. I want to be alone with my thoughts for a while. Could you make me a drink? A Rum may be? Montilla?”

Did I not ever imagine meeting her again? But today when she was right in front of my eyes, why did I stutter?

He did not even in his wildest dreams expect that Rosaline would have changed and grown into a mature young woman and could leave a drastic impact on him. She looked so beautiful in her soft ivory halter neck dress. Her pearls which she wore radiated her pure heart, reminding of how she used to wear her heart on her sleeve. It wasn’t her honey dipped brown eyes which reflected her generosity or her mellifluous voice which felt as if the angels had come down on earth and playing the violin wearing those chaplets. It wasn’t her appearance which made her turn heads, but to be honest, her silly crooked nervous smile made him fall in love with her all over again as if he hadn’t tasted what loving a woman had ever felt like. His stoic personality often made her giggle like a young teenager. There was just something, her aura so strong even cleansing the air.

Rosaline was looking forward to this date as she was an enthusiast and a sucker for crazy ideas to find her prince charming. At times, it seems that Rosaline herself is the prince who is fighting battles against all these emotionally unavailable men, swimming through the creeps, and finding the one who yet struggles with commitment issues.

She removes her favourite crimson coloured slit dress to make the guy fall in love with her at first instance, but again she is a bit old fashioned and not too bold in her appearance. Cream or an ivory color dress would do justice to her soft personality. White pumps to match and look more put together even though her life is not too organised, but as they say fake it till you make it. Rosy tint on her cheeks to make sure she looked interested in him and he thinks that he is an interesting person who is making her blush, well only heaven would know the little trick she played here. A classic mauve lip shade would be perfect, not too loud nor too dull.

“Lucy, come here”, screamed Rosaline.

“Yes yes what’s the matter?” “Did you find out who Samirah is dating?”

“No you nut head, how do I look for the date? Good enough?”

“Enough to destroy his life.” “I wish I were that lucky boy, even being a lesbian would do, I mean I could turn gay for this beaut,” squeed Lucy.

Too cheesy Lucy, appalled Rosaline.

Rosaline was sitting at the backseat of a retro-looking cab, thinking about the date Austin had set up. She had met Austin at the Durjoy Dutta’s book signing event. He was the only guy, while all the other girls including her were fangirling over his quirky dimples. Not that she took less interest in his novels, but when there is a complimentary dessert, how could one resist? Durjoy Dutta writes romance, and seeing him come for the book signing, without feeling embarrassed, did impress her. Guys reading romance novels other than science fiction or some thriller novels did set the bar high for her. From that moment she knew, that if he would be a hopeless romantic, their talks would be like the typical cliché new lovers who talk about laying in an empty dry grassland, star gazing while he would call her the most beautiful lady that the moon would hide itself as it might face inferiority complex. Rosaline had to burst her bubble when she found out that Austin was gay. She laughed at her own self for letting her mind wander in that direction. Their first meeting was smooth and in no time, they enjoyed each other’s company and started hanging out a lot more. He was a true friend to her, and would often talk about each other’s lifeless romance journeys.

I am being way too optimistic for today’s date. I should try and relax, but if Austin has set this up for me then I’m pretty sure he would have kept in mind about all the kinkiness I am filled with. I can trust him on his.

Rosaline was supposed to meet him at café named Poetry, which was in Juhu. She specifically chose the café because of its name and the amazing macaroons it sold. She had been obsessed with macaroons since the day she has been learning French. Je peux manger dix maracons à la fois.

Another reason for her to choose this café was that because she herself is poetry in itself. Well that’s how the men flirted with her. She reached the location and was nearly fifteen minutes late, for as to say fashionably late. Austin had informed Rosaline that the guy is tall, sturdy, and would have the prettiest set of eyes in the room. For a second it did remind her of Shane, her ex boyfriend thinking about how he had big round sparkling eyes where her own reflection could be seen when she looked for way too long into his eyes and drown into the pool of loveliness. She looked specifically for the glowing eyes as Austin had described and the next moment she is blunt.

I used to see his face in the crowd, on advertisement posters, even on the television but it was never him. Is my mind playing tricks on me again? I feel like I am being haunted by my imagination and fear right now.

Rosaline is dumbstruck. Mixed feelings rushed into her body which can’t be put to words to what she was feeling. She actually had to pinch herself to make herself believe that Shane was her date.

Shane had no serious plans of meeting Rosaline. He came on the date to cheer him up but instead knowing the fact now that he was having a blind date with his ex-girlfriend left him astounded. All of these thoughts racing in his head trying to surpass one another was overwhelming him. He still had a minute to wash his face and to fetch his breath. He glanced at his watch and his heart started to beat twice as fast. It was a chilly evening, yet he was feeling sweaty.

What am I supposed to talk to her? What am I going to say to her? Will I be able to face her once again? What would she say?

“Shane, hey” said Rosaline trying to sound as warm as she could.

“Rose”? Said astonishingly

It’s Rosaline, not Rose, she corrected.

Yes, Rosaline, he stuttered. Please, please just take a seat, make yourself comfortable. Shane requested.

You are talking as I am your first candidate and you are going to interview me, but seemingly you look more nervous than the interviewee, joked Rosaline.

I have successfully managed to embarrass myself once again. You know, I tend to get nervous around gorgeous women, he defended.

Should I take that as a compliment or should I be salty about it? I choose to accept that you very smoothly flirted with me, actually I would say tried to flirt, said Rosaline.

Well whatever you take it as, it is what it is, stated Shane.

Rose didn’t feel the initial nervousness or the awkwardness which Shane was facing that could be seen but as usual his old trait of hiding back or holding back his real emotions, rather call it as toxic trait than it being a part of his personality. Holding back what he really felt like, made Rosaline a bit edgy.

Rosaline wears her heart on her sleeve. She believes anyone who cannot be vulnerable is not worthy enough for her to trust. Shane wondered if she still thought the same or would she be a little easy on him.

So, how has life been? Shane trying to break the long pause, forgetting for a minute that Rosaline was here.

“Well, it’s been amazing for me. I feel like I am growing as a person a lot more. I always thought that I was wronged; hurt and as broken as a piece of glass shattering and the more force you apply it breaks furthermore, that’s exactly how it had been for me. You know Shane, there is always, always something that one can learn, ways you can grow and I’m in that learning stage” being as gentle as she could be.

“I am pretty sure you might not be expecting a response like that from me or should have I rather said, Shane, I can’t live without you, I won’t be able to, I still need you,” as Rosaline plays around with Shane and his consciousness.

“Did you not want that too”? Shane responded with dismay.

“What? Startled Rosaline.

“Did you not say that all to me, did you not mean all of it then?” feeling a little restless, Shane asked her.

After a pause, Rosaline answers him saying, “I did think that I did, but you know when your body can survive the breakdown process then it as well can heal itself. It’s similar to a physical wound, instead, here it’s just your heart begging for mercy and the brain wouldn’t stop overthinking it. It’s like when you fall down and start bleeding, the platelets principal function is to stop bleeding, but we anyways bleed a little. They release chemical signals to promote clotting. Our brain tries to make the heart understand the same way, but still, it does bleed a lot of emotions. When you fall, it will hurt, it is supposed to hurt. And when I learned that, I knew I can, I definitely can live without your presence. Even though you kept hurting me, gave a million reasons why I should not stay, but I was looking for that only one reason for you to stay, but sooner or later I had to accept the reality that I was a tenant in your heart, or maybe lesser than that, I, I do not know if I actually did have your heart or not, but it doesn’t matter to me any longer because I don’t feel drawn towards you anymore or I do not seek any closure, I think I have had it enough”

Shane not knowing how to respond to her feels heavy. His body starts feeling the burden, his energy levels dip down drastically. The intense discomfort reaches to a peak that his heart is pounding; legs feel shaky and felt shortness of breathlessness. He has mastered the art of keeping a straight face even though he certainly is near experiencing a panic attack.

“Why couldn’t you stop me?” Shane trying his level best to mask it up and keep a poker face by default.

“Are you seriously asking me that?” Rosaline fumed. “I gave you everything, every element, every atom present in my body. I devoted all of it to you. I was on my knees for you. I let myself down for you, yet you left me by making such a statement that I wasn’t worthy enough for love. You were just my fantasy, was I only worthy of being so small? I did not deserve that”.

“Do you not love me anymore? How can you stop loving me?” Shane was curious to know.

“Could you tell me where did you get the nerve to ask me that”? Rosaline trying to appear poised. “I don’t. I don’t love you anymore, Shane Gosling”.

He couldn’t understand what was going on, Rosaline’s harshness and the sharp words were causing him to blackout. Shane couldn’t anymore hold himself back, he had to acknowledge and take his leave before his heart is left upon the floor.

Keeping her hand on Shane’s cold fingers, with a warm sense of love, Rosaline said, ‘We should take our leave. Please take care of yourself,’ and left with a tender smile.

The date didn’t go as it was supposed to go, as they couldn’t meet each other’s expectations. They decided to end the conversations; both of them would return to their empty walls, thinking of what was and wondering what this could have been, perhaps, is left to realize the beauty and mystery of their lives, the realization towards closure that some people can stay in our heart forever but not in our lives.

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