"Steven isn't solely responsible for the paywall shift" and "Nobody wants to watch Steven eat insanely expensive food and have to pay for it" are statements that can coexist btw.
*Spidey and the Sinister Six having their usual fight*
Doc Ock, landing a hit: You’re getting slow Spider-Man! Age finally catching up to you?
Spider-Man: You wish! I haven’t even hit my 30s! From those costumes I can already tell I failed to save you guys from those midlife crises! Sorry by the way.
Vulture: Watch it wallcr- wait… Did you just say your not in your thirties yet?
Spider-Man: Surprised that this spiders so young and spry? Well-
Electro: Dude I’ve been fighting you for at least 5 fucking years! How old even are you?
Shocker, joking cause he’s the only one who picked up no grown adult acts likes Spidey: Don’t swear in-front of the boy you don’t want him to pick it up.
Rhino: Christ! You’re tellin me I almost crushed some 12-year-olds skull all those years ago?
Spider-Man, regretting his quipping: I was not that young! Like just starting freshman year but-
Sandman, horrified as he’s the only one with a kid and dad instincts(as of my iteration): I could’ve killed a kid…
Shocker, genuinely curious: Are you even old enough to drink? Cruel to kill a man who ain’t had his first drink yet.
Electro: Please tell us you’re at least over 25 as of this fight. Hell, I’ll take over 21!
Spider-Man:….
Sandman, realizing just how young he really is: Oh my god.
Spider-Man: My birthday’s coming up soon so I guess it counts?
Doc Ock, exacerbated: It. Does. Not!
Vulture: What would your mother think if she knew her son was out here risking his life telling poorly constructed jokes?
Spider-Man, offended cause it quips slap: 1. My jokes are great 2. She and my dad are dead so-
Sandman, hysterical cause holy shit he almost killed a kid orphan: OH MY GOD!
Danny, due to his biology of being half dead, can eat very questionable things and not die.
He decides to start a youtube channel with this.
He buys obvious shitty supplements online, clear and obvious scams, and takes them as directed for a month.
Then he reports what they did to him, and sends the samples to get tested. He's gotten more than a few scammers arrested by providing solid evidence that they used hazardous materials to make their product.
He gets away with this by claiming to have the power of abnormal metabolism, or an "iron stomach", so toxins aren't as likely to hurt him.
One of his viewers sends him an unmarked bottle of pills, saying that if he doesn't take the entire bottle on a livestream, they'll blow up a city.
Danny does his livestream, and goes out of his way to use the entire bottle of pills in extravagant recipes. By the end of it he's created a five course meal, all with the pills cooked/melted in, and it's become a mukbang.
The villain who sent it is watching the livestream pissed off, because they didn't specify how to take the pills, so this technically counts. The heroes they have trapped are losing their minds with concern.
bingqiu human/demon role reversal as requested by alliechickfics on twitter! for a modest donation to the listed organizations and individuals over at SVSSS Gotcha 4 Gaza, you too can get a prompt fulfilled in exchange.