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felthief · 7 years

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all of them

CODIE LMAO I’M GONNA PUT PEANUT BUTTER IN YOUR SHOES

anyways phew here goes

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Definitely Spotify

is your room messy or clean? Usually it’s fairly clean, not spotless or anything, but i never let it get too dirty.

what color are your eyes? Brown

do you like your name? why? I literally hate my name, it doesn’t fit me at all. ;(

what is your relationship status? Taken :U

describe your personality in 3 words or less Tired, Objective, Worry-wart

what color hair do you have? Brown

what kind of car do you drive? color? lmao i can’t drive 8)

where do you shop? Walmart mostly

how would you describe your style? Comfortable – I wear pajamas and t shirts a lot.

favorite social media account this one?? i guess

what size bed do you have? A Queen :3c

any siblings? I have an older half brother, an older half sister, a twin sister, and a little brother

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? Honestly I would probably pick any big city that’s LGBT friendly. I can’t live in a rural setting or i’ll die

favorite snapchat filter? they change all the time, i just like looking at the new ones

favorite makeup brand(s) i don’t wear makeup

how many times a week do you shower? Three, usually

favorite tv show? UUUH. Stranger Things. 8) Or Voltron. Fcuk. I can’t pick.

shoe size? 6…:(

how tall are you? 5′6″

sandals or sneakers? Sneakers, I’m a clumsy fuck so i gotta protect my toes

do you go to the gym? can’t afford that shit

describe your dream date *ALARM NOISES*

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? Uhhh I have a 15$ walmart gift card and a 5$ starbucks gift card and that is literally it

what color socks are you wearing? I ain’t wearing socks, my feet are naked and free AS THEY SHOULD BE

how many pillows do you sleep with? Two. I used to sleep with three but I’ve had to suck it up and stop that cuz it was killing my neck. Now I just hug the 3rd one at night

do you have a job? what do you do? I am a comic artist which is kind of a job?

how many friends do you have? Uhhh..so many.. I just never talk to them becuase I’m a shit and don’t know how to maintain relationships

whats the worst thing you have ever done? I cut a friend out of my life and blocked her on everything because she was manipulating the fuck out of me and tbh to this day i still feel guilty but I think I’m better off

whats your favorite candle scent? Oh man. Danna has this candle that’s called like peach Bellini and I want to rub the wax all over my naked body

3 favorite boy names Oliver, Aiden, Zieke

3 favorite girl names Jade, Aria, Victoria

favorite actor? Thomas Dekker

favorite actress? Abigail Breslin

who is your celebrity crush? I don’t really have one tbh though I DID have a huge crush on Thomas Dekker until I was like 20

favorite movie? PACIFIC RIM

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? Hell i haven’t read in years, but I loved The False Prince (I’m reading the sequel now)

money or brains? what is the context? If it’s in dating then usually I would choose neither cuz money isn’t important beyond being able to live semi-comfortably and brains isn’t something I look for cuz I’m dumb as shit and don’t like it when I’m around people who make me intimately aware of it

do you have a nickname? what is it? I have. So many. 8) Lucifer, Lucifene, Lou, Lee, Lucinfeff, Lucinfeffer and that’s really just the tip of the fucking iceberg

how many times have you been to the hospital? at least 10

top 10 favorite songs pretty much anything by Motion City Soundtrack, Issues, Carlie Rae Jepsen, or Troye Sivan tbh

do you take any medications daily? Antidepressants and Anti-anxiety medications

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) Oily as sin

what is your biggest fear? Being alone

how many kids do you want? I want one. Sometimes. Other times I want none. I feel like I will regret not having one when I’m too old to consider it any more.

whats your go to hair style? Cropped I guess? It’s usually about ¾ of an inch long

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) A small apartment with a weird layout and a kitchen the size of a shoebox

who is your role model? i aint got one of those

what was the last compliment you received? An older lady I go to group therapy said I look like a cute boyfriend she had when she was younger

what was the last text you sent? I texted my dad telling him his tracfone was going straight to voicemail

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? Probably around 10, I don’t really remember

what is your dream car? i don’t know anything about cars :D Something modern and colorful with lots of room inside and gets good gas mileage

opinion on smoking? You shouldn’t do it and I’m a hypocrite

do you go to college? I used to but it was too expensive

what is your dream job? Something low-impact where I don’t have to talk to a lot of people. Data Entry I guess?

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Suburbs for sure I would die out in the country

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? hell yeah I do

do you have freckles? I have some, up by my eyes, but they don’t show much unless I get some sun

do you smile for pictures? Sometimes :U

how many pictures do you have on your phone? 174

have you ever peed in the woods? Nah

do you still watch cartoons? Yep. All the time. Why not?

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? MCDONALDS FOR SURE I WOULD DIE FOR THOSE CRISPY GOLD NUGGETS

Favorite dipping sauce? Sweet n Sour

what do you wear to bed? Underwear and a T-shirt

have you ever won a spelling bee? I’ve never even been in a spellin bee

what are your hobbies? Drawing and sleeping

can you draw? yes

do you play an instrument? I used to play the Flute in middle school band until my bandmates stole it and hid it so I’d get kicked out. They told me to leave and I wouldn’t so I guess they took matters into their own hands ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

what was the last concert you saw? I’ve never been to a concert, that shit’s for rich people

tea or coffee? Coffee

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? I’ve never had Dunkin Donuts so I guess Starbucks

do you want to get married? no lmfao why would I saddle someone with my shit credit score and $50k of debt

what is your crush’s first and last initial? what is this crush shit u talkin bout

are you going to change your last name when you get married? i aint gettin married, damn

what color looks best on you? red? blue? black? i dunno man

do you miss anyone right now? a few people yeh

do you sleep with your door open or closed? Both

do you believe in ghosts? I have seen some shit so I’m gonna go with yes

what is your biggest pet peeve? loud chewing noises

last person you called I tried to call a hospital in Indianapolis but it went to voicemail B(

favorite ice cream flavor? Vanilla cuz I’m a boring fuck

regular oreos or golden oreos? I don’t actually like Oreos

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Sprinkles are fucking awful and I will never consume them

what shirt are you wearing? It’s a black t-shirt with a dripping poisonous looking smiley face on it

what is your phone background? It’s just the background that came with my theme. It’s dark blue and futuristic lookin

are you outgoing or shy? Shy as fuck

do you like it when people play with your hair? i barely have hair but Yessss touch my fucking head and I am yours to command for eternity

do you like your neighbors? i don’t have any neighbors

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? I wash it in the morning sometimes if it’s visibly oily

have you ever been high? a few times yeah. Not really my thing tbh

have you ever been drunk? Also a few times and boy howdy I have a good time but everyone else has recommended I maybe don’t do it

last thing you ate? Some bread

favorite lyrics right now nnnnnnnnah

summer or winter? Summer

day or night? Day

dark, milk, or white chocolate? Milk chocolate if i had to pick one

favorite month? OCTOBER cuz its my birthday and also spooky

what is your zodiac sign all of em

who was the last person you cried in front of? probably faewild lmao

#long post #ask meme #holy fuck sorry this is looooong #adorabletrainwreak #HEY I COULD ADD A READMORE? cool

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dealmeout · 2 years

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how to make an episode of m*a*s*h with HD video, but no laugh track: an advanced guide

(under a readmore, because it's extremely long and technical)

(you've been warned. also i wish i could put a pic up at the top here but i can't upload any more images 😔)

welcome one and all to my silly guide. i feel kind of goofy because im sure someone's done this already, like... it's m*a*s*h... but at this point i feel like i've got the process working well for my own personal use, so i might as well detail it. let's jump right in!

you'll need:

two (2) copies of your chosen episode -- one 16:9 HD copy w/ laugh track, and one 4:3 SD copy without. any file format should be fine, MKV and MP4 are what i personally work with

audacity (+ffmpeg) - https://www.audacityteam.org/download/

mkvtoolnix gui - https://mkvtoolnix.download/downloads.html

disclaimer -- i'm not responsible for you nuking your m*a*s*h episodes/computer/etc. as a result of this guide. (it's pretty safe and we're not going to be saving over any existing files tho)

also i tried to write everything like i was doing it for the first time, but if stuff is glaringly wrong or you run into issues, please shoot me a DM/ask and i can help

lastly, this is definitely like... kind of a technical process, and i'm probably bad at explaining it. again, nothing is really at risk here, but if you don't feel comfortable doing it you might want to stick to your single SD/HD copy. and hey, i'll take requests -- if there's a scene you really want to see, just let me know!

still here? cool. there are two parts of this process:

create a properly timed audio track

add this audio track to our existing HD video track

part 1 - create the audio track in audacity

(first time only) audacity + ffmpeg setup:

install audacity

go to this page and follow the steps under recommended installer -> https://manual.audacityteam.org/man/installing_ffmpeg_for_windows.html

now we can import our episode's video files into audacity 👍

90% of the work is in this part. we're gonna be doing s04e08 (the kids) cause i wanna watch it later. let's start:

open audacity

drag and drop both of your video files in there. i recommend doing HD first, then SD

when it's done, you should see something like this:

okay SO

we're looking at a visual, spectrogram view (aka a spectral) of the audio track of the entire episode. when you see "hotter" colors like white-yellow-orange, that's basically like... the stuff that you and i can hear, so dialogue, music, all that. the height of the spikes correspond to the frequency of the audio. this is all getting kind of technical but you can read more about spectrals here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spectrogram

i also made this picture and i think it's cool so im including it. imagine hawkeye explaining spectrals to you... wow he's so smart :)

ok back to what we're actually looking at. i've annotated it a bit below to show roughly how a typical ep is split up -- you can see we have our theme song, our 2 main parts, our end scene, and the ending theme.

the red highlighted areas are where we'll be working. if you zoom in on either pic, you can see that our sections are split up by black vertical lines -- in the world of spectrals, black = silence. these silent sections are where commercials/ads would be added in, and it's also where our 2 audio tracks fall out of sync.

most importantly, this is where we'll be deleting or generating parts of the audio track -- only inside these silent portions (which will be much bigger when we zoom in.) we don't want to touch any portions with actual audio data, cause that might make things sound weird.

important note/technical explanation: there are 4 spectral lines total because each audio track is stereo and has 2 channels -- left and right. when i say "top track" or "bottom track", i'm referring to the 2 L+R channels as one track. don't worry too much about left vs right channels individually, they're gonna be the same.

the process starts at the very beginning, with the opening theme:

move your mouse over to the very start of the spectral portion

a yellow line should pop up. (it doesn't matter which track you're on.)

click once

at the top of the main audacity window, find the "zoom in" icon (it's the magnifying glass with the plus sign) and click 8 or 9 times

you can also hold the ctrl key and scroll with your mouse wheel. the scrollbar at the bottom will let you move around horizontally

your view should look like this now -- we want to be seeing around 3 to 6 seconds at once.

check out the specs. the 4 main "points" of yellow/orange/pink literally correspond to the 4 guitar notes of the opening song... i think that's kinda cool. doo doo doo doo...

see how the top track is a little bit misaligned from the bottom track though? we need them to line up exactly, so...

find a common point or peak that you can recognize on both the bottom and top tracks

on the bottom track, click at the start of this peak

drag your mouse until the guideline hits the start of this peak on the top track. do your best to line it up, it might take a few tries at first

i’ve created a cute little gif so you can see how i do it:

now that we have our selection, we have to find out the exact difference in timing. look down at the bottom left, where it says "start and length of selection" -- we need the second small number there. this time it's 74ms, which honestly isn't a very big time difference at all (it's usually between .5 and 3 seconds)

but regardless, we need to remove these 74ms from the bottom track to make it sync with the top. but we don't want to remove any actual audio data. so:

in the bottom track, click and drag your mouse and create a selection with that magic number, but only in the area of silence, as shown below:

hit the delete key

the audio tracks should be in sync now, and the peaks should (more or less) match up

one way we can check is to click at the beginning, then hit space to playback. you should hopefully hear the theme song (it might be a little louder than normal since we're playing it twice)

if it doesn't sound right, or if your peaks didn't end up matching, hit ctrl-z to undo and try again

let's do the next part, which is after the theme song ends -- about 50 seconds in. zoom out (use the buttons, or ctrl + scroll your mouse) to find it, then zoom back in until you get a comfortable window where you can see the peaks

we can see that it's not matching up again, so follow the same procedure:

click and drag on the bottom track to make a selection

match your peaks

get the timing

remove that length of time from the bottom track

check that it matches the top

now i'm gonna talk about adding time to the bottom track, as opposed to the deleting that we've been doing so far.

so here we are about halfway in, between parts 1 and 2 -- we can see the tracks are waaaaay off, and this time our bottom track is ahead.

this time, click and drag from the top track. this is so we get our handy guiding line to come up on the bottom track. here's another gif:

our time difference is 2.766 seconds, so pretty substantial! to add time to the bottom track, just do this:

on the bottom track, click anywhere in the silent portion

select Generate -> Silence from the top toolbar

key in your duration (the time difference)

click OK and you should be all matched up!

and that's kind of it. you'll need to zoom out again and look for another section of silence, then realign the audio tracks. generally this needs to happen 5-6 times per episode, but it goes quicker once you learn your way around audacity

other tips and tricks:

if your finished SD audio ends up being a teensy bit longer than the HD, just clip it at the end to match the HD track (we want to match the HD audio track's length cuz we're using its video track.) select what's there and hit delete (audacity should "snap" to the end with a yellow line)

(i've only seen this in SD s1/s2 so far) you might have tracks with near-continuous audio, so no black portions at all. just do your best with silence generation/deletion, and always play it back so that you can tell by ear

if you notice an extremely substantial time difference (± 30 seconds) between files, or your black lines aren't matching up at all, this method probably won't work :( (this is actually what made me realize my copy of SD s4 was sped up)

i've only done this for seasons 1-4. i don't think 5-11 would be that much different, but you never know

will not work out of the box on s04e01 welcome to korea if your SD version is the whole thing but your HD version is the one they split for syndication. (i might try to cobble something together though)

probably won't work with gfa if it's split the same way? i dont want to think about gfa right now guys, i just got here

once you're done and it all sounds good, here's what you need to do to export your audio:

close out your HD (top) track by clicking the X next to the file name

click File -> Export -> Export Audio

save it wherever

for file type, pick FLAC file

level = 8, bit depth = 16-bit

click Save

click Clear, then OK

ok NOW we're done with part 1. you're a hero if you've made it this far, and your toil will be worth it. think about all the gay little jokes you'll be able to watch in sexy modern 1080p!

part 2 - combine audio + video in mkvtoolnix

(first time only) mkvtoolnix setup:

install it

all right all right this is super duper easy

open up mkvtoolnix GUI, you should see a big screen. drag and drop your original, HD video file in there

it should populate a little list of the elements that make up your video file -- so subtitles, video track, and audio track. uncheck the audio box to exclude the HD audio cuz we don't want her

go and find the audio track you made in audacity, drag and drop that in there too (if it says something about a new source file, just make sure the top bubble is selected and click ok)

here's what it should look like, more or less:

hit "start multiplexing" at the bottom

that's it!

watch your episode and have fun :) if it doesn't sound or look right to your eyes, you can always go back and mess with it again

...so yeah there you have it. i don't do this for every episode i watch because you are missing out on stuff visually with a 16:9 crop, but idk, it's kinda fun to do and zen-like once you get quick at it. i'm insane btw

some final notes/thoughts:

i know the spectral stuff is the biggest learning curve, but imo, doing it this way is probably least harmful to the source video/audio, since we're only cutting or generating audio in silent portions. the video track isn't changed at all

as you probably noticed by now, this was all done on windows, but audacity/ffmpeg/mkvtoolnix GUI is available for macOS/linux, so you could probably do this on those platforms too

if you have the DVDs a fresh rip would probably be the best source possible for the SD audio. i'm trying to get my hands on them now bc the audio in my SD copy definitely doesn't sound as good as the HD 😔

i know this whole guide is on how to remove it, but i swear i don't even hate the laugh track THAT much, like it's fine. i just like doing weird stuff on the computer

you don't need to remove the HD audio track in mkvtoolnix. if you want both audio tracks, you can just toggle between them

(only audio nerds will care about this) i really REALLY hate doing lossy -> lossless (FLAC) for the audacity export because it's just inflating the file size for no reason, but i'm not sure if there's a better alternative? like... personally, i would rather have a lossless copy of the lossy audio rather than risking an additional lossy transcode on it. but if that doesn't worry you you could probably export as higher-quality AAC and it would be fine, yolo

sooooo that's all for now! if you end up actually cutting an episode this way and the guide worked PLEASE tell me i would love to know... or if you have suggestions/comments/DMCA takedowns....... ok bye 🍸☮

#i cant reread this anymore so im just posting it. also omg that tiny pensive emoji #mash #m*a*s*h

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im-the-punk-who · 4 years

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The Real People of Black Sails!

Here’s a quick(I promise....I promise this is as short as I could make it without leaving out some really choice shit) rundown of all the real historical figures peppered throughout Black Sails! I think I caught them all but if you know of others please mention them and I’ll add them on! Under a readmore because this is....so long y’all.

Pirates & Maroons

Anne Bonny (possibly 1697 – unknown; possibly April 1782) Started life crossdressing at her dad’s behest to avoid his wife(who wasn’t Bonny’s mom), married a guy her dad didn’t like, moved to Nassau. There her husband became a spy for Rogers and Anne was like ‘Not cool bro’. She met Jack, they started fucking, and Anne discovered she was really good at stabbing things. Resumed dressing as a man and started trying to seduce Mary Read who was also dressed as a man. They did indeed fall victim to one of the classic queer blunders. Anyway, Anne’s like ‘it’s not gay I’m a chick!’ And Mary is like ‘really?? Then it’s a little gayer than you realize because I’m a chick too!’ They (probably) start banging. Rackham’s like ‘hang on! I’m the only dick in Anne’s life’ and Mary and Anne are like ‘you sure are’ and Mary shows him her boobs and then they have some sort of complicated and probably not totally consensual threeway. Then they get captured because, Jack is That Guy Who Was Too Drunk To Realize His Ship Was Under Attack and Mary and Anne had to defend the ship against like, a whole other crew. Jack is hung(not a dick joke), but both Anne and Mary plead stays of execution due to pregnancy. Anne disappears but possibly is maybe referred to later. No one knows. Neat!

Edit: According to sources from this post there is a genealogical record that refers to Anne and it records her death as 1782. Very neat!

Israel Hands (c.1701-death unknown) Israel Hands was a real pirate and Blackbeard’s first mate. Not much else is known about where he came from or his life, other than that Blackbeard shot him in the knee at one point while supposedly aiming for another man. ‘Oops my bad this pistol is from like, the 18th century or something.’ While recuperating in Bath he was arrested after Teach’s death but took a pardon in exchange for ratting out the colonial officials who had been bribed by Teach. It’s unknown what happened to him after that although That Book About Pyrites says he died a beggar in London.

Benjamin Hornigold (1680–1719) Horny4gold was one of the most well known and influential pirates of the Golden Age. Most other pirates sailed under him or with him at one point, and he was one of the founders of the Pirate Republic of Nassau. He never attacked british ships during his time as captain so that he could be like ‘but brooooo I was acting in Britain’s Interests!!! Bro!!!!!’ But his co-pirates didn’t like that and eventually voted to replace him with Sam Bellamy. He accepted the king's pardon in 1718 and became a pirate hunter instead. Bummer. He was reportedly killed in a shipwreck.

Okay listen Horingold in any universe is a fucking JOKE I have to share this passage with y’all:

“Hornigold is recorded as having attacked a sloop off the coast of Honduras, but as one of the passengers of the captured vessel recounted, "they did us no further injury than the taking most of our hats from us, having got drunk the night before, as they told us, and toss'd theirs overboard"” WHAT A JOKE.

Dr. Howell - (birth/death unknown) John Howell was a pirate surgeon forced into service by Hornigold sometime in early 1717. He sailed with various pirate crews until October before returning into the service of Governor Rogers.

Ned Low (1690–1724) N’EDWARD. Okay I’m serious again. Born in London, Lowe grew up a thief in a thief family before moving to Boston. His wife died in childbirth in 1719, so he decided ‘fuck it I’ll become a Pirate Captain’ and did just that. He was known for torturing the people on board the ships he captured before murdering them and burning the ship. Interestingly though, Lowe was known to have a huge amount of regret over abandoning his daughter when he turned pirate, and wouldn’t force married men into his service. He also reportedly would allow women to return to port safely. Because of his numerous captures and cruelties, he was one of the most well known pirates in his day. There are differing reports about Low’s death - some say his crew mutinied and marooned him and he was subsequently hung, others say his ship sunk in a storm, and some say he just straight up disappeared. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Jack Rackham - (December 26, 1682 – November 18, 1720) Really a pirate, really named himself after a housecat pattern. (No, okay, he didn’t, it was because of his threads. But wouldn’t the cat thing fit too?) Sailed with Vane, Anne Bonny, and Mary Read. Was mostly known for being That Guy Who Was Too Drunk To Realize His Ship Was Under Attack and being Anne and Mary’s captain. He was captured and sentenced to hang after the aforementioned Drunk Blunder in 1720.

Mary/Mark Read - (1685 – 28 April 1721) Much like Anne Bonny, Mary dressed as a boy for much of her youth so a parent could swindle someone out of money. From her teenage years on she continued dressing as a man to find work in the military and as a sailor. She did marry but her husband died young and so she decided to become a pirate. Like ya do. She accepted the king’s pardon in 1718, then mutinied on the privateer she was aboard, once again becoming a pirate. Because pirates are sexy. In 1720 she joined Jack Rackham’s crew and sailed with him and Bonny. Cue the whole ‘Hey you’re hot, also I’m a woman.’ ‘Oh, hey, same hat!’ with Anne. In November of 1720, Rackham’s ship was captured. Mary died of a fever in prison(likely due to her pregnancy) in 1721.

Edward Teach - (c. 1680 – 22 November 1718) He started piracy sailing under Hornigold, and built the fleet alongside him and Stede Bonnet until Hornigold retired. COOL fact about Blackbeard is he was a MASTER showman who liked to light slow burning fuses under his hat to scare his enemies, and he relied more heavily on creating an image his prizes feared than violence. He did a lot of cool shit including ransoming the entire town of Charles Town and annoying the shit out of Woodes Rogers before settling in Bath and later dying of like, a shit ton of wounds while battling Lieutenant Maynard. The battle on Roger’s ship is pretty much what happened minues the keelhauling. Afterwards he was beheaded, his head hung from the bow of Maynard’s ship, and his body was thrown in the bay in Bath, where it’s said his ghost still haunts! Funky!

Charles Vane - (1680 – 29 March 1721) Really a pirate captain! Known for being Not A Nice Dude. Sailed with Henry Jennings, Edward England and Jackie Rackhammie. He led the pirates in resisting Rogers in Nassau, and yeah he really did light a ship on fire and 18th centuryeet it into Rogers’ line in order to escape. There’s a note that he returned to Nassau to get married but I couldn’t find any info on who he married so he’s gay now. That’s a rule I just made up. Anyway so at one point his ship got into a fight with another ship and Vane ordered a retreat and the crew was like ‘this is BOOshit’ and voted him out in favor of Jack Rackham. Ouch. Vane and some of the crew that supported him left aboard the Katherine(I believe) but then they got caught in a storm that said ‘fuck you specifically to Charles Vane,’ and he was marooned on an island. He survived! Just long enough for a British ship to stop at the island for him to attempt to board, get caught, and then hung. Deus ex piratica.

(Honorary mentions)

John Silver + Captain Flint (sort of but I’m not kidding!) Okay so of course there are a bunch of suspected origins of the characters of Captain Flint and Long John Silver, but the one I like the most is of two brothers - one of whom had a peg leg! - who captured an enormous Spanish treasure and buried it near Ocracoke island. Their names were John and Owen Lloyd. (And yes, John was the one-legged brother.) In 1750 a Spanish treasure fleet named the Flotas de Indias attempted to sail from Havana to Spain in late August, and three ships were wrecked during a hurricane. By a stroke of luck, the Lloyd brothers had been blown to the same inlet as the wrecked ships Guadalupe and Soledad , and managed to convince the Captain to hire them to transport the treasure to Norfolk.

But of course because they thought the Spanish SUCKED they said ‘psyche’ and just fucked off with it while the Captain was fighting Bureaucratic red tape in North Carolina. Iconique. Owen Lloyd reportedly buried the treasure on Norman Island and the pair became folk heroes in the area, particularly in St. Kitts. (P.s., the Stevenson family ran a sugar production business on St. Kitts, and R.L. Stevenson’s great grandfather worked there as early as 1773 - just 25 years after the epic heist. COOL STORY BRO.)

Captain Throckmorton (Okay not really but I just love this guy’s name) Okay so this guy wasn’t really a pirate captain but he was a Steamboat captain in the 1830s and his name is just too ridiculous for someone to make up. Toot toot, motherfucker.

---------

Queen Nanny(Maroon Queen/Madi) (c. 1686 – c. 1755) The spiritual, cultural, and military leader of the Windward Maroons (who the Black Sails Maroons are based on.) She led them alongside her ‘brother’ Quao although the relationship between them isn’t known. Exact information about her origins are not known but best guess is that she was of royal lineage from present-day Ghana, born sometime in the 1680’s. She did have a husband named Adou(who may have been the same person as Quao? I’ve read conflicting stuff), but they had no children. Many of the guerilla warfare tactics we now think of as common practice were developed by Queen Nanny and the other Maroons in their fight against British incursions. (The trap that Flint lays, covering themselves with paint and leaves, and the pits the Maroons lay in the forest are tactics known to have been used by the Windward Maroons.)

Nanny was a fucking legend okay a LEGENDS ONLY legend. She was one of the most instrumental people in preserving African culture among freed slaves and Maroons, and in encouraging the resistance to slavery in the Bahamas and surrounding areas. She was one of three leaders of the First Maroon War (which the war in Black Sails is based on). She initially refused to sign the treaty offered to Cudjoe because she knew the British were losing and was like ‘Why????? Would I surrender???? In a war??? I’m winning?????’

Anyway Queen Nanny was a fucking badass please read every piece of literature you can find on her. (You should absolutely read her full bio because she was fucking badass.)

Cudjoe (not exactly, but Julius is very close) (c. 1690s – 1764) Likely a freeborn son of one of the original escaped slaves turned Maroons, Cudjoe is hailed as one of the greatest Maroon leaders(after Queen Nanny). Much like in Black Sails, these original Maroons were slaves who escaped or overran their masters, forming free communities in the Mountains of Jamaica. The treaty in Black Sails is based on the one Cudjoe negotiated with the British, wanting an ‘honorable peace’ with the enemy, rather than the continued war and better terms that Queen Nanny and Quao wanted. (sound familiarrrrrr?) I do want to note that by the end of his life he became completely disillusioned with the idea that the British should be reasoned with and basically started fights with every British superior he could.

The English, Spanish, and Scottish!

The Guthries So while there wasn’t ever a female head of the Guthrie clan in Nassau, the Guthries were a Scottish merchant clan who emigrated to Boston around 1652 due to religious and racial persecution. While most of the family stayed around Pennsylvania and Massachusetts, John Guthrie moved to Virginia and his brother James Guthrie moved to Bermuda sometime after 1683.

(James Guthrie of Suffolk County, Massachusetts was listed in the will of John Richardson, dated 7 May 1683, in which Richardson says, “I give and bequeath unto James Guthrie all I have in the world except twenty shillings to buy John Harris a ring and ten shillings to buy John Kyte a ring.” This was witnessed by John Raynsford and John Ramsey.) Fellas is it gay.

Anyway, between Virginia and Boston and James’ ties in the Bermuda islands, the family made a shit ton fencing pirated goods during the Golden Age of Piracy, particularly from the Pirate Republic of Nassau.

A John Guthrie(likely a son of James’) was also a Colonel who was part of the peace talks with Cudjoe and the Maroons. Neat!

James Oglethorpe (22 December 1696 – 30 June 1785) Okay listen Oglethorpe was COOL AS FUCK. He is the founder of the colony of Georgia and is imo who Thomas Hamilton is probably based on. Oglethorpe was a HUGE humanitarian and even before he decided to form an entire colony around people not owning slaves. He advocated for better conditions for sailors, and prison reform. In 1732 he read a letter by a slave in Maryland named Ayuba Suleiman Diallo and on the spot decided slavery was terrible, divested himself of his stock in the African Trading Company, and resolved to include a law banning slavery in Georgia to the colony’s charter. Radical, man.

Speaking of Georgia, and specifically his plantation near Savannah, Oglethorpe actively spoke with the native Yamacraw who populated the land to ask permission and trade for the land he sought to build Georgia on. His plantation was meant to help debtors in London, released without any support, from falling back into debt and offering them a way forward to landownership through indentured servitude. I highly recommend anyone interested in early attempts at an equality based colonial system read up on the original charter of Georgia. (Of course there were still problems, but Oglethorpe was one of the most prominent proponents of a non hierarchical society - including limits to the acreage any person could own based on how helpful that land was to the people who worked it, and communal resources.) Oglethorpe was also a lifelong friend with Tomochichi, the chief of the Yamacraw, and worked very closely with him on colonial-indigenous relations.

Vincente de Raja (birth/death unknown) He was the real Governor and military Captain of Cuba from 1716-1717. He was a devoted pirate hunter and encouraged Spanish privateering against the pirates. Due to an attempt by Spain to increase tobacco profits at the expense of the farmers, there was a large revolt which resulted in many of the Cuban officials, including Raja, being replaced.

William Rhett (4 September 1666 – 12 January 1723) He was a merchant captain and plantation owner in Carolina who served in the colonial militia and hunted pirates. He captured Stede Bonnet and was probably just as much of an asshole as he is in the show.

Woodes Rogers - (c. 1679 – 15 July 1732) The Governor of Nassau who was largely responsible for ending piracy in the Bahamas. He really did offer a universal pardon, which a large number of the pirates took. Fun fact: before he was Governor, he rescued Alexander Selkirk, who is believed to be the guy Robinson Crusoe is based off of! Neat! He really did have a brother who really did die during his privateering exploits which also really did leave him ‘disfigured’. He got sued by his crew, went bankrupt, wrote a book, got famous for writing the book, and he really did have a wife named Sarah whom he divorced shortly after all this happened. He then became Governor of Nassau for the first time. This first term did end in him being imprisoned for debts incurred defending the island from Vane and Teach and the Spanish, but he was released, helped write that most famous A General History of the Robberies and Murders of the Most Notorious Pyrates, and became governor again in 1728. He died in 1732 of just plain exhaustion from dealing with the bureaucracy. Alexa play tiny violin.

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toonbly · 3 years

Note

Oh please do give us the essay I would LOVE to hear your thoughts.. your Freemind content is like kisses directly to my brain 's all so good.

OKAY SO LIKE. quick tw for discussions about internalized transphobia and internalized homophobia

QUICK CLARIFICATIONS: I’m a queer transmasc nonbinary and some of this is projection. A LOT of this is cherry-picking from and overanalyzing little bits of FM canon.

im gonna put this under a readmore to save yalls dashboards

HERES WHY FREEMINDS NARRATIVE IS 10X MORE INTERESTING IF HE’S QUEER:

So some things to cover: We’re cherry picking from canon and MOST of this is based off of fanon interpretations of freemind’s character. i should also clarify that I myself am asexual and nonbinary transmasc (though i only use they/them pronouns), im not entirely sure of my romantic orientation but yknow, obviously im not cishet lol. Some of it’s self projection, some of it is character study, either way I think it’s important to clarify that some of this is my OWN experience and that what im outlining here obviously isn’t the universal queer experience.

SO COVERING CANON. like okay, most of us tend to go down the route of “Freemind is gay/bi/otherwise queer in terms of attraction and he’s just in denial of it” in our freemanverse content and like, if you pick apart the source material there’s canon backing for this! (ie: Freemind saying he can’t wear earrings cause sailors do that and sailors are “kinda gay”, then later going on and on about how he wants to be a pirate and how he should’ve done that instead of being a scientist.) LIKE OKAY, OBVIOUSLY THIS WAS JUST ROSS MAKING A HOMOPHOBIC JOKE AND PROBABLY DIDN’T THINK ABOUT THE IMPLICATIONS OF THIS AT ALL. obviously that is the case, but as most freemanverse content does we are casually Throwing That Out The Window and cherry-picking from canon because Freeman’s Mind is full of gross content and we are simply here to take whatever we want to and RUN AWAY AS FAR AWAY AS WE CAN WITH IT. What I’m saying is basically, yeah, there’s some canon backing for Freemind possibly being gay/bi/whatever and just in denial of it due to internalized homophobia and some toxic masculinity issues. In terms of toxic masculinity he constantly brags about how cool and tough he is, makes himself out to be an invincible genius, etc. He very much frames himself as the “Tough man who feels no emotions because ReAl MeN dOn’T cRy.”

That’s basically all we need from canon. Accidental subtext on Ross’s part implying internalized homophobia and Freemind’s constant attempts to frame himself as what a “real man” would typically be considered as resulting of toxic masculinity.

Now moving onto fanon: Many fanon narratives take Freemind’s character and try to give him a redemption or healing arc. Basically the guy learns that he’s allowed to show emotions and that this doesn’t make him pathetic or lesser than anyone else, and usually he does so with the help of those around him (typically the other Freemen, sometimes Eddie, hell sometimes h/lvrai characters like Tommy!) So here we have the narrative of “A man struggling with toxic masculinity and self worth issues learns to better himself, he lets others in and starts to be true to who he actually is strengthening both himself and the connections with the people he loves.” This is an arc I love and have incorporated into a LOT of my works involving Freemind! Hell I think it’s difficult not to take his character into that direction.

But, okay, what does this have to do with Freemind being queer? Obviously I’ve mentioned the internalized homophobia subtext and all that but up until now it seems like I’ve only really mentioned the more emotion-based aspects of Freemind’s arc. Well this is where we get into my own personal interpretation of Freemind’s story.

My version of Freemind is a gay trans man, he realized he was trans sometime in his teens but only came out and transitioned sometime during college. In my version of the story, I think Freemind grew up around a kind of rough crowd. He’d hang out with those sort of boys at school that were just the EMBODIMENT of toxic masculinity, and I think he kind of internalized a lot of what they told him? They told him things like “Boys don’t cry” and “Boys are tough” and “Boys can’t like girly things” and “Boys can’t like other boys, that’s weird.” etc etc etc. He hung out with a rough crowd and didn’t have the best support system at home, and a lot of this resulted in his more egotistical larger than life personality- He acted out a lot both because his peers told him to and because hey, at least it got him some form of attention. He was a smart kid, sure, but that was never really enough to impress anyone around him. He kinda developed this “I’m better than ALL OF YOU” attitude as a defense mechanism, and as he started coming into himself and actually accepting that he was trans he took those things that his peers told him “””real men””” do and don’t do and cranked it up tenfold, just to further prove that he was better than all of them and than he was even more of a “””real man””” than any of them could tell him. He took these toxic view points and internalized them, making them a key point of his personality just so he could prove himself and put himself above others. I don’t think he struggled too badly with internalized transphobia, at least in the “I can’t be trans cause that’d be bad” sense. I think he struggled with it more in the “I have to do all of this or I’m just lying to myself and doing this for attention” sense. Granted, he never held anyone else to this same standard, he’ll never admit it but to him things are always different when it’s him. Sure Freeman and Feetman can have their little boyfriends and do gender nonconforming things, but that’s different, they don’t have to prove themselves for anything, they’re not held on the same pedestal as he is, they’re not Gordon Freemind. It’s different whenever it’s him.

BUT, as he begins to grow and learn and not hold himself to such a high standard, Freemind begins to learn that all of these things aren’t true. He learns that showing emotion, being gender nonconforming, being attracted to men, etc. doesn’t make him any lesser than the others around him and there’s no “different standard” for him JUST BECAUSE it’s him. Hell there’s no different standard for him at all, there never has been, and the people who told him otherwise were just toxic assholes who he shouldn’t have to please in order to exist as himself. As he is, he’s good enough, he’s always been good enough, and allowing himself to be vulnerable and accepting who he is doesn’t make him lesser than those around him.

What I’m saying is this: Freemind’s narrative outlines the journey of a man learning vulnerability and learning to accept himself and allow others into his life. His character arc cannot be complete until he does these things, and in certain stories Freemind’s inability to be vulnerable and accept who he is might become a detriment to his goals and the goals of others around him. If he doesn’t learn to accept himself and open up to others he will fail to achieve his goals. Ultimately it is Freemind allowing himself to open up, accept himself, and be vulnerable that saves the day. Alone, this is already narratively interesting, but if you also mix in the ideas of him being queer in any fashion and learning to accept that and that there’s no “right way” to be himself, it adds a LOT of layers to the narrative. It becomes less a story about some dudebro learning that he’s allowed to feel emotion and more a story about a queer man learning to accept who he is, being proud of who he is, and how allowing himself to be vulnerable contributes to this acceptance. It becomes a narrative about how being open with yourself and others can lead to you discovering who you really are and accepting and loving yourself for it. Freemind’s identity as a queer man becomes DIRECTLY TIED into his character arc of learning vulnerability and allowing himself to make connections and I feel like that’s really important! Sure, not every narrative needs to be about a queer struggle and frankly I don’t like tackling it constantly myself, but Freemind’s story in particular becomes much more interesting under a queer lens especially considering how you could very easily tie the discovery and acceptance of his identity into his general character arc. It’s a story about a queer man learning to love himself and becoming a happier, better person for it.

TL;DR: As a queer transmasc nonbinary myself, I find the idea of Freemind’s narrative being queer incredibly interesting. It’s easy to tie in Freemind’s identity to his character arc of becoming more vulnerable and open about both who he truly is as a person and in an emotional sense, and I think it’s really interesting to make a character’s identity relevant to their arc somehow. Granted, this doesn’t always need to be made the case because queer struggle narratives can get tiring on some queer audiences, but in this specific case I think it’d be an interesting character study.

#long post #Anonymous

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killherfreakout · 4 years

Text

i’ve got the touch placebo

elu au / 5.2k words

“You don’t remember a lot of things.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Lucas’ voice cracks slightly when he asks, those oceans looking like high tide. Eliott’s heart drops to his stomach at the question. Does he tell him, or does he keep that kiss locked away as the secret they didn’t know they were keeping?

or: Lucas kissed Eliott after a few too many one night; three times Eliott almost brings it up, and the one time he does.

:readmore:

It all started by accident, really. Eliott falling for Lucas, that is. He’s always had a little crush on his best friend, but one night changed everything.

It all started when Lucas kissed him. But, you see, that’s the problem - that was months ago. Lucas kissed him, and absolutely nothing was different between them. Eliott doesn’t know if Lucas just regrets it and pretends it didn’t happen, or if he’s waiting for Eliott to bring it up, or worse: he doesn’t remember.

Sure, Lucas may have had a few too many that night, but was it really enough to make him forget? Enough to have absolutely no memory of something that completely turned Eliott’s world upside down?

If a drunken kiss was all it really was, Eliott doesn’t know what to do. But if it was more, he wouldn’t know the first thing either.

Sometimes Eliott thinks he’s got enough love for the both of them, and perhaps that is enough. Or at least he’s trying to convince himself that it is.

Eliott is perched on the edge of Emma’s balcony where he slipped out of the party going on inside, opting for some fresh air and a smoke. The gang and the girls are celebrating the end of terminale and Eliott comes to join the fun even though he has another uni exam before he’s finally free. It’s a warm summer night and a slight breeze offers some relief from the muggy air and crowded apartment. The moon keeps him company until he’s joined by another warm body in search of his.

Lucas nearly trips over the lip of the balcony door and giggles at his own misstep. Eliott tries his best not to laugh, but a small chuckle escapes, earning him a retort from the other boy.

“Hey! Are you laughing at me?” Lucas asks after he tips back the rest of the bottle of vodka he’s holding, his voice higher than normal and cracking towards the end. It’s way too endearing for Eliott that he smiles around the rolled paper between his lips.

He doesn’t respond, and next thing he knows, Lucas lunges forward and snatches the joint right out of his hand in retaliation. Eliott looks at him in disbelief and Lucas has a devilish grin on his face, again way too endearing to be taken seriously.

Lucas tilts his chin and chest out with pride and brings the joint to his lips. He takes a long hit, breathing in deep and feeling the strength of the weed. He coughs and hands the joint back to its owner as he recovers.

“That is good shit, fuck,” Lucas adds when he regains his breath. “And expensive, I bet.”

Eliott does one of his signature shrugs. “I know a guy” is all he says to that.

Lucas scoffs at his smug reply and comes to join him on the edge of the balcony. He sits on the ledge with his back against the wall and hugs his legs close to his chest. Eliott’s heart skips a beat at how small he looks.

Lucas unwraps his arms and reaches one out to Eliott, a gap between his first and second fingers in a silent plea for the joint again. Eliott obliges and transfers it to him, hands touching for a fleeting moment - the weed is nothing in comparison to the high he gets from moments like this.

There’s a wrinkle in Lucas’ brow when he notices something. The joint in his hand points to Eliott’s, specifically a faint smudge of black on his right hand.

“Otteli strikes again?” Lucas is amused at himself and Eliott tries not to indulge him. “I’m best friends with a famous urbex artist, I might have to use that as a pick up line someday.”

The words cut deep coming from him. Sometimes Eliott forgets about his enormous crush on his best friend because everything is so easy with them, but other times - like this - it’s hard to forget. Eliott hides behind the smoke, hoping his face doesn’t give him away.

“I‘m not sure how effective that will be, but...” he raises his hands in acquiescence.

“Of course it will work!” Lucas’ voice is wet and nasaly and still fucking adorable. “I mean, you’re basically the French Banksy.”

“I wish,” Eliott laughs. “They’re rich and not just tagging places with their spirit animal.” He picks at his cuticles and stares at the remnants of spray paint on his skin, suddenly insecure and words sounding more bitter than he planned.

Something changes on Lucas’ face. “Your tag is fucking cool!” His face goes back to before, features softened by the weed and alcohol aglow in the city lights and embers of the joint.

Eliott’s heart keeps skipping a beat at every compliment, but especially at the adorable declaration of the love of his silly signature raccoon tag.

“And need I remind you that you’re rich? I mean,” Lucas pinches the joint between his thumb and forefinger, raising it to prove his point.

Lucas hops down from the ledge and stumbles a bit; he finds the vodka bottle again and frowns when he realizes he already emptied it.

“I may need to marry rich, what with the way my bac went, to be honest.” Lucas is walking across the balcony, bringing the heel of one shoe in front of the toes of the other, wobbling with each step.

He looks extremely focused even though his movements are lazy and slow. And suddenly he gasps as a lightbulb goes off in his head, face lighting up - both Lucas and Eliott’s. “I know! I’ll just marry you if it doesn’t work out. There, problem solved.”

And no amount of warning could prepare Eliott for a sentence like that coming out of Lucas’ mouth. This time his heart drops straight down to the street two stories below.

Lucas nearly faceplants when he steps on his own shoelace, but Eliott slides off the ledge in time to catch him before he falls. They lock eyes for what feels like the first and only time ever; Lucas’ intense, big, blue doe eyes meeting his and quite literally steal his breath away.

Lucas retreats from their embrace for another hit, the joint burning shorter and shorter.

Eliott sputters, trying to think of a way to change the subject before he melts into a puddle. “We won’t be getting married if you keep smoking all of my weed,” he tries as a comeback.

Lucas looks up at him like a deer in headlights or a kid caught with a hand in the cookie jar. He looks down at the joint that has about one hit left in it, then that devilish look grows on his face once again.

Eliott swears that time stops just for them as he watches every move Lucas makes like it’s at half speed. The joint is closed between Lucas’ bitten lips, and suddenly Eliott feels the smoke in his lungs when the other boy leans forward and presses their lips together.

It’s so sudden and unexpected that it makes Eliott’s mouth open wider in a gasp, and Lucas takes it as an invitation to test the waters. He slips a tongue into Eliott’s open mouth, and Eliott thinks he is in both heaven and hell.

Eliott instinctively reciprocates the kiss until he gets a grip and tastes the alcohol on Lucas’ tongue, reminding him of the fact that Lucas is not sober enough to warrant this. He pulls back, cheeks flushed, but Lucas looks unaffected - like nothing earth-shattering just happened.

Eliott’s phone rings in his pocket; turns out Idriss left his keys at the apartment and needs Eliott to let him in.

Lucas notices the interruption and, with a gravelly voice, says, “Sorry about the weed,” before stepping inside, tripping on the threshold again.

Eliott stares at the moon high in the sky who was witness to his entire world being flipped upside down. He takes a deep breath and walks down the stairs to retrieve his heart from the ground.

Eliott is sitting on the dock of the lake with his feet dipping into the crystal blue water below, weight held up by his arms outstretched behind him. The remaining droplets on his tanning skin quickly evaporate into the warm summer air, leaving a cool sensation in their wake.

There’s some shouting and splashing from the far side of the lake where Basile, Arthur, and Yann are jumping off the neighbor’s dock and trampoline. Eliott had his fun with them earlier and went for a cooldown on his own while he watched the guys perform backflip after backflip.

The usual suspects have all traveled to Arthur’s beach house to kick off the gang’s last summer before they go separate ways for university. The girls are here too; they went inside to fix dinner for everyone while the boys spent the sun’s dying hours out on the water.

Lucas is swimming his way back over to Arthur’s dock and Eliott sits up in anticipation of his return.

It’s been a total of 72 hours since the night of the party. The night that the love of Eliott’s life and best friend of over 10 years had kissed him. Not so accidentally, but also not quite on purpose.

He hadn’t even had a full conversation with Lucas since that night - the day after the other boy had the world’s worst hangover, the next Eliott was taking his last final exam of the semester, and then they were at the lake. Lucas had fallen asleep against the window for most of the car ride and every other waking moment was full of Basile’s ill-timed jokes and Emma’s ramblings over her recent Tinder dates.

In other words, there was no appropriate time or place to bring up the situation. No opportunity to ask, hey, remember when you kissed me haha? And Eliott didn’t want to say it like that, so nonchalant and in sing-song with a poke to the ribs. Because it meant something to him, more than he ever thought a drunken kiss could, and because it would kill him to make Lucas think that it meant anything less.

It’s like that night Lucas gave him this enormous heavy feeling but in a physical form - held it in his hands and said here, hold this and left, but not without Eliott’s heart. And Eliott was left holding on to it, this thing he couldn’t quite find the word or feeling for, and a hole where his heart should be. And it’s softened now, melted, turned to liquid and still losing shape. And with every glance and hidden smile more and more slips from his hands.

Eliott is violently brought back to his senses when everything in his vision is darkened by the shadow of Lucas climbing up the ladder of the dock and blocking the setting sun. Eliott’s eyes involuntarily rake down the boy before him, all sun-soaked skin and water dripping from every pore. He catches himself after a second too long, obvious even under the sunglasses he has on. He tilts his head back up to Lucas standing at the edge of the dock - taller than him for once - and the sight makes Eliott’s insides shift.

Eliott’s eyes adjust to the lack of direct sunlight, squinting up at him. He watches as Lucas brings both of his hands through his wet locks, putting his skin on display as the water that Eliott swam in returns to the air, reflecting what’s left of the day’s rays as they go. Eliott feels a shiver run down his spine - be it at the sight in front of him or the now dry surface of his own skin.

“You coming?”

Before he realizes, there’s a hand being offered to him. Eliott’s brain is a few steps behind and he takes the hand when it catches up. Lucas pulls him up and he’s back to being the taller one, although he still feels at Lucas’ mercy.

Lucas leads the way back to the house, leaving wet footprints on the dock and concrete of the patio. Eliott follows and uses the prints as relief from the scorching surface. Lucas grabs the towel hanging on the patio chair, rubs it into his wet hair, then lets the damp material hang around his neck.

And there it is, finally: a moment where he could bring it up. A chance to give back the heavy, shifting feeling he’s been holding since. Ask him if he remembers, if he meant it, if he regrets it. The shapeless thing he carries starts to move again, starts to form into something akin to the shape he was given. He can give it back.

Eliott stands there looking at Lucas, eyes flicking down to the lips he can’t stop thinking about on his own. They’re red and chapped now, a product of sun and salt. He holds in a breath and forces his eyes up to Lucas’, which are darting around the patio looking for something.

The moment is there and then it’s gone - and the thing starts to slip yet again, just as the water had off of Lucas’ back.

“Hey, did you bring any chapstick, by chance?” Lucas asks when he can’t find what he’s looking for.

That’s another thing that happens sometimes: Eliott thinks about something and the next minute Lucas brings it up, or vise versa. Like noticing his chapped lips conjured Lucas to search for relief.

“Uh, yeah.” Eliott walks over to the bedroom he and Lucas and Arthur share through the back door and returns with it.

He hands it over to Lucas; the gesture feels strangely intimate given the context of Eliott’s feelings toward him, the context that their lips have touched now. It feels coded with something more than a favor for a friend, and hurts more than it should.

“Thanks,” Lucas says before removing the cap and pushing the balm onto the split skin.

Eliott can imagine the minty balm stinging the cracks in the other boy’s lips and swears he can feel the same tingly sensation on his own, even without having used it all day.

It’s entirely innocent, but it gets Eliott’s heartbeat to quicken at the thought of using the chapstick after him. It doesn’t have to mean anything - Lucas borrowing his chapstick - but it does. It’s as if the tube of balm is a placebo for the real thing - having his lips pressed to Lucas’ again - but still just as effective.

And technically another moment presents itself: the topic of lips, specifically both of theirs, sharing something like the lip balm.

Think, Eliott, think. He could casually comment on the party, ask how bad the hangover was, anything to get the ball rolling. But the second Lucas returns his gaze and places the tube in his hands again, all rational thought leaves his mind at once.

The silence is starting to grow uncomfortable until Lucas breaks it.

“How was your exam, by the way?” He shoves some hair behind his ear and rubs his lips together to spread the product.

“Uh, it was fine,” Eliott answers, watching the movement. Something blooms in his chest at Lucas asking about it, the genuine curiosity present on his golden face.

Say something, anything about the party.

He gets an idea.

“You know—” He stops when Lucas puts the towel back on the chair to dry. The remaining sunlight hits just right, the balm on his lips shiny and intoxicating. Eliott swallows and starts again. “You know, if college doesn’t work out I could always marr—”

“Lucas, there you are!” Arthur shouts as the trio come walking through the patio to get inside.

The look on the younger boy’s face turns bright at the sight of his friends, high points of his cheeks dusted pink with sun and stars sprinkled on his nose in the form of freckles. Yann shoves his shoulder and the skin turns white before returning to the pinkish tan. The skin is soon covered in cotton when Lucas shrugs his shirt on.

Lucas bites the corner of his bottom lip and gives Eliott a glance over his shoulder when he follows the guys inside - a glance that could be saying something, but Eliott’s not sure what.

Eliott makes his way to the kitchen and pours some drinks and thanks the girls for preparing the meal. Everyone sits around the counter and some at the table nearby; Lucas takes the seat across from him.

There’s chatter between the girls and the gang that Eliott feels slightly disconnected from, but he focuses on filling his empty stomach with food.

“Eli, what were you going to say, outside?” Lucas inquires, not in a whisper but not loud enough to draw attention towards them.

And there’s another moment, right there for the taking. Lucas literally asks about it - possibly without even intending to.

Lucas looks at him while taking another bite then puts his fork down to take his napkin and wipe the pasta sauce - and chapstick - off his mouth.

Eliott’s chest feels tight again, the heavy feeling still there but no longer physically. No way he can hold it and give it back now. The moment is gone like the sun for the day, only leaving what it has touched behind.

The placebo burns a hole in the pocket of his boardshorts. “It was nothing.”

Eliott hates drinking. He’s not a fan of the taste of beer, wine is okay only if it’s expensive, and liquor is gross unless mixed with so much sugar that makes the hangover even worse than straight alcohol.

He finds himself in a gay bar with Lucas celebrating Mika’s half-birthday because Mika decided that ‘6 months is too long’ to celebrate.

It has now been two months since the kiss and neither of them have said a word about it. The unnamed thing Lucas dropped into his hands has vanished, no way of returning it to its owner. Every day is harder to pretend and even harder to speak up.

The birthday boy is already on his way to being wasted living it up on the dance floor and Eliott sits next to Lucas at the bar. Lucas is on his second beer and Eliott has a melting vodka tonic in front of him. The DJ takes a short break and the music changes to quieter radio jams through the house speakers instead of the mixing table.

“So?” Lucas asks behind his beer bottle, tilting his chin in the direction of a handsome guy across the bar. “Aren’t you gonna go over there and talk to him?”

Eliott looks at the sweaty glass on the countertop and quickly glances over to the him Lucas refers. He picks up the glass and raises it in the guy’s direction as a thank you and sips the thin black straw. It’s strong but watery and makes his lips pucker.

“Isn’t he the one who’s supposed to make the move?” Eliott answers Lucas’ question with one of his own and flags the bartender for water instead.

Lucas points to the drink. “Well, technically, he already did.” Eliott huffs.

The music picks up again as the DJ puts on another mix, volume even louder than before, or perhaps it’s just loud in comparison to the radio.

Eliott raises his voice and leans into Lucas’ ear. “What if I’m not interested?”

When he pulls back, they share a look similar to the one at Arthur’s lakehouse with the same indescribable meaning. There’s also something different this time in the way Lucas intentionally keeps his gaze.

It’s dark on this side of the club but when the flashing lights hit the side of Lucas’ face he notices the contrast of his crystal eyes and his blown pupils. Eliott thinks if he stares any longer he’ll drown in their oceans.

To stay afloat, Eliott turns back toward the mirrored wall behind the bar and grabs his water to sip. The second the liquid touches his tongue he realizes it’s not the water he reached for, but the vodka soda. He winces in reaction and shoves the glass toward the lip of the counter out of his reach.

He can feel Lucas’ eyes on him and then in the direction of the sender of the drink. Eliott gathers the courage to look again, but he shouldn’t have - the determined scowl of his brow hurts more than the back of his throat when he puts together what Lucas plans to do.

Lucas reaches for the drink at the edge of the bar and brings it to his lips, tongue darting out to catch the thin black straw he closes his lips around, downing as much of the concoction as he can stomach.

Still looking at the guy across the bar, Lucas says, “Then I’ll tell him you say thanks for the drink.”

Eliott’s soul is soaked when he sees the blue of Lucas' glance as he makes his way over to the other end of the bar.

Over the next two hours Eliott nurses his glass of water from his seat and tortures himself by watching Lucas dance dangerously close to the stranger that hit on him with a new drink in hand.

Eliott directs his attention to the glass Lucas emptied when it gets too much to bear. The black straw sits in the glass of ice staring him down and he gets a new urge to drink the remnants of alcohol from it. Perhaps it’s a new prescription of placebo that would work better than the drink itself.

Eliott steps out for a cigarette later, in need of the fresh air more than the smoke in his lungs, but it gives him something to do instead of sulking in a room of dancing strangers.

Lucas comes to find him minutes after, no handsome stranger on his arm.

“Okay. My head hurts so bad I can’t stay a second longer,” he says instead of a greeting, words slurred and movements wobbly.

“Where’s Mika?” Eliott asks, helping him stand up straighter.

Lucas giggles. “He went home with a guy like two hours ago.”

“Oh,” he hadn’t even noticed. “What about the guy and the drink?” Eliott clenches his jaw and looks around expecting him to show up.

Lucas giggles again, and the sound makes Eliott’s heart flutter - it flutters then stops at what he says next.

“Don’t worry, Demaury, no one is coming between our eventual marriage.”

Eliott trips on a bump in the sidewalk and Lucas falls into his side.

And just like that, he’s back at the lake again – the sting of a moment there and gone – and he’s sinking deeper and deeper.

Everything seems to happen by accident ever since the night on the balcony.

Eliott hadn’t even planned on going back to Lucas’ flat, but after the party was shut down prematurely, Lucas asked if he wanted to come inside for another beer. And it’s not like Eliott had the heart to say no. He definitely didn’t plan to stay this late, but he also doesn’t want to leave.

“I thought you said you were going to lay off the weed now that you’re ‘taking your studies seriously.’” Eliott grins as he watches Lucas light the joint hanging from his lips.

“I don’t remember saying that,” says Lucas, leaning his head back on the couch and releasing smoke from his lips.

His pursed lips carve out the hollows of his cheekbones and plants a rather dirty image in Eliott’s mind. The movement also makes his hair bounce a little; it’s messy and fluffy from when he shrugged his hoodie off when they came inside. Eliott has to busy his hands with the frayed edge of his jeans so as to not reach out and touch.

Eliott pivots from his stare and instead laughs at Lucas’ nonchalance and the irony that he said that while high.

Lucas’ eyes stay closed for a moment before slowly blinking them back open. His long lashes fan over his cheeks like that of a renaissance painting as he’s bathed in a muted golden light from the kitchen. The eyes underneath them look tired, probably due to the lack of sleep that comes with the first year of university Eliott knows too well. The oceans of blue aren’t any less breathtaking, though; Eliott has to look away before he drowns in them once again.

Eliott takes a sip from the plastic cup he filled with water once it was empty of beer. He feels his heart shift and twists in his chest like it does when he looks at Lucas too long, performing a somersault when he feels the ghost of those lips on his.

Eliott’s words just slip out, his mumbling echoes in the plastic pressed to his lips. “Yeah, you don’t remember a lot of things.”

It’s almost quiet enough that he could have gotten away with it, but not quite. He can tell he’s been caught by the furrow of Lucas’ brow and the confused tilt of his head - which is way more endearing than it should be.

Lucas slowly wets his lips and worries one between his teeth in anticipation. It’s like a knife to Eliott’s gut, piercing through his heart where it rests there.

Eliott scrambles for an answer, panicking and lacking the courage to tell the truth. “I mean maybe this is all going to your head.” He makes a vague gesture to the smoke wafting the air between them. Not like he meant anything else.

Lucas takes a page out of his book and gives him a one-shouldered shrug before sitting up and putting out the joint in the ashtray on the coffee table. He takes a moment like he’s trying to decide his next move, then gets up and runs a hand through his hair. God, that hair.

He goes to the kitchen and cleans up, leaving Eliott to sit in the awkward space he left. Eliott takes his phone out of his pocket and checks his notifications, noticing it’s already almost 4am. As in, no buses back to his place at this hour.

“Maybe you’re right. I’m super tired so,” Lucas turns his body in the direction of his bedroom indicating he’s going to turn in.

“Yeah, um,” is all Eliott can find in response, shifting on the couch to settle into a position for sleep.

“Come on, Eliott, I’m not letting you sleep on the couch.”

“No, it’s fine—”

“You’re literally too tall and don’t even fit on that couch. Come on,” Lucas insists, cracking a smile.

And what is he supposed to do, deny him?

So they fall asleep in Lucas’ bed — without bringing up the kiss. Eliott doesn’t know how much longer he can breathe under the pressure.

Eliott startles awake with Lucas too close for comfort; they’re facing each other in the middle of the bed even though there’s plenty of room on either side.

Lucas is wearing an expression he’s never seen before, although he never seems to be able to read him these days. Eliott wants to ask about it, but gets lost in those eyes again, looking tired but somehow refreshed like he’s been awake for a while.

And Lucas does that thing again, bringing up what he’s thinking without fail.

“We’re okay, right?” Lucas asks softly, like the words burn on his tongue as he says them.

Eliott studies his face again, an openness to it that wasn’t there before – like he wants to talk about it seriously this time, no more dancing around.

“Yeah, of course,” he takes a breath and lowers his tone, matching the sincerity of Lucas’, “Why wouldn’t we be?”

Lucas twists his mouth and answers, “I just, I feel like things have been weird between us since Mika’s half-birthday. Is there— did I do something?”

And do something he did - he brought up their wedding talk on the way home and basically confirmed he remembers that night at Emma’s, and maybe the kiss. But Eliott can’t find it in him to ask, but can’t stand not asking any longer.

Lucas looks expectant now, an adorable wrinkle forms on his forehead and those eyes are crystal clear. If it’s his eyes that pull him in, it’s his lips that pull him under.

Eliott removes his hand from under his pillow and slowly raises it near Lucas’ face resting in front of him. Eliott’s gaze is drawn to those lips again, the ones he can’t ever seem to stop thinking about in the phantom touch from months ago. Lucas’ tongue peeks out to wet them followed by teeth trapping one, which makes Eliott sink further.

His hand tenderly brushes Lucas’ rosy cheek and thumb rests near the corner of his mouth, the touch causing Lucas’ breath to hitch and release the pillowy flesh from his teeth.

Eliott quickly looks up at Lucas again, only to find the other boy’s eyes trained on Eliott’s lips now. It’s enough confirmation Eliott needs to do what he’s been wanting to since the day at the lake. And he doesn’t want to swim around it anymore, it’s finally time to reveal the truth.

He delicately strokes his thumb over Lucas’ red bitten bottom lip. “You really don’t remember?”

He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Lucas speechless before, at least not like this. Perhaps absentmindedly Eliott strokes his lips again, and it’s the closest thing to a kiss he’s had since the one on the balcony. It’s too much and not enough, and also the closest placebo to the real thing.

Eliott suddenly gets nervous that Lucas has no idea what he’s talking about, and that the breath caught in the other boy’s throat is not a sign of remembrance but of surprise to the incredibly intimate touch without the context of that night.

He hopes he hasn’t misread Lucas’ mind, for that would be the first time they’ve been on different wavelengths in years. Sure this whole fiasco was push and pull of avoiding the truth, but there was always some unspoken understanding present even so. Eliott feels he’s in too deep and Lucas is just floating, too much darkness and pressure between them.

Eliott retracts his hand like he’s caught flame, silently begging for forgiveness as he meets Lucas’ eyes again.

And this time it’s Eliott who can’t breathe. Lucas inches even closer, eyes flicking back down to Eliott’s lips once more. He whispers hotly in the limited space between their lips. “Make me remember.”

After days and weeks and months of waiting, dying, drowning, Eliott gets his fix as Lucas presses his sinful lips in a kiss – a completely and intentionally purposeful kiss. A kiss that pulls Eliott up so quickly he gets the bends, muscles and bones aching from the speed of his ascent, head and heart feeling lighter than ever.

“Lucas—” Eliott sighs, everything this means dawning on him.

“I know. Me too,” Lucas interrupts before locking Eliott’s lips again.

They indulge in the taste of each other with nothing to hold them down, eager and wanting like all kisses should be. He’ll never have to refill the script for placebo ever again, too busy getting high on the real thing.

#elu fic #skam france #elu au #fullll of pining!!!!#elu #skamfr #skamfr fic #lucas x eliott #lucas lallemant #eliott demaury #my writing #mywriting #my fic #on ao3

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arowrimo · 4 years

Note

Hey I just stumbled upon your blog and it seems really cool! I'm asexual, but have been questioning for a while now whether I do or do no develop romantic feelings. Could you recommend or pull up from your blog some fics that sheds light on coming to terms with being aromantic or something along the thought processes of loving oneself? Thanks xx

I’m glad you like the blog! I’ll do my best to link the ones that seem related to what you want from AroWriMo, but I might miss some. Followers chime in with any you have written/read also! I’m unfortunately not as big of a reader as I’d like, myself.

Putting under a readmore, so I can add suggestions to the list.

Skywalker by @kitkatt0430 about an aromantic Rey, and finding a family.

Loveless by @kitkatt0430 Original writing about coming out of an abusive relationship, self love, and realising you’re aromantic.

Kircket’s first zine by @autcore - Not fiction, but also deals with self-love and questioning

A Place To Start by @kitkatt0430 Supergirl fanfic about Kara realising she’s akoiromantic

Untitled by @wish-ful-thinking513 Original writing about an android understanding xir aromanticism and accepting it.

Loveless by @soph00bear A poem about arophobia and self acceptance

#aromantic writing #aromanticism #self-love #acceptance #ask #idkkarlo #sorry about the read more going in the wrong place #not sure why

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shigaraxi · 4 years

Text

Suns Out | Shigabaku | T

Chapter 2 of Tuesday Rates! The obligatory Beach Episode ft. Bad Lifeguards and Bad Drown Victim etiquette. Read it Here or under readmore

Tomura really didn’t want to be here.

“Don’t be a party pooper,” Toga says, rubbing sunscreen along her upper arm. “It’ll be fun.”

Dabi agrees between inflating puffs of the large beach ball. “What kind of friends-” puff “-would we be-” puff “-if we just let you rot-” puff, Tomura’s eyebrow twitches “-in your room again all summer?” Happy with the size, Dabi caps the beach ball.

“You guys aren’t my—hey!” Dabi snickers, catching the ball after bouncing it off Tomura’s head.

“Sure man, whatever you say.”

They are at the beach and Tomura really really doesn’t want to be here. Or outside, in general. Especially not with people. Oh how he ached to be back in his air conditioned room with his blacked out curtains and computer. No, instead here he is with sweat prickling and sand sticking to his skin, sitting on a hot beach towel under this oppressing sun. Tomura glares at the wide-brimmed sun hat at his feet that Toga had given him like it personally dishonored him. Those heathens didn’t even let him have his console either.

A sunscreen bottle is tossed to him which he responds with tossing it right back harder.

Toga catches it and shrugs, bagging the bottle in Dabi’s tote. “It’s not our fault if you get burnt!”

“Hm!”

At least they had a beach umbrella. Tomura plans on not moving from this spot.

Huh. It’s hard to think but there’s someone...talking? He can’t hear what they’re saying, sounding too distant and muffled to make out the words from the garble. The voice begins getting desperate, pitch heightening as it continues babbling. Tomura feels really tired. Maybe he’ll try to understand later...when the pull of his lids don’t feel so heavy—

“—LIVE GODDAMN IT!”

Tomura shoots up because what the fuck, was he just slapped?! His cheeks are stinging, he's doubling over, mouth full of salt water and seaweed. Through his hacking, he vaguely hears a Kacchan… from a very dismayed voice, followed by a hysterical laugh from whoever this Kacchan is.

“There’s no such thing as going overboard, Deku, he’s alive, ain’t he?”

“Yeah, but—”

“But, what? I just saved his life, I’m a goddamn hero.” What the fuck. Tomura wipes his mouth. The two look at him. The blonde, Kacchan, is the one to say, “I’m your goddamn hero.”

The green haired, Deku, one jabs Kacchan in the ribs. “Please ignore him! How are you feeling? Any chest pains, tingly sensations?” He doesn’t wait for Tomura to respond, instead turning to Kacchan to say, “Go get him a towel! He must be freezing.”

Kacchan huffs and stands, leaving to presumably get a towel (Tomura could hear mild curses from under his breath as he stalks away) while Deku turns back to him. “Don’t mind him, he’s just a bit crabby, is all. He means well. I’m Midoriya and that was Bakugou, by the way, we’re the lifeguards on duty,” he says with a mild laugh. “You almost drowned on us!”

Midoriya had an arm around him, Tomura belately realizes as he rambles on some more, probably to keep him sitting steady. When he tries to lean away, Midoriya removes his arm, apologizing, “Sorry, sorry, shock can be unpredictable. Are you feeling any better?”

Now that he mentions it, Tomura thinks, wetting his lips, his throat feels like absolute sandpaper and he still feels somewhat faint. Not that he would admit it, but it's the thought that counts. Plus, even if he wanted to respond Well, yeah, I feel like shit, a towel is thrown over his head. “Oi, he probably drank half the ocean. Let the guy rest,” says Bakugou. Tomura snorts quietly, pulling the towel around his shoulders. “I couldn’t find any extra towels so I gave you mine, you better give it back.”

“I nearly drowned,” Tomura replies, voice croaky and just barely audible, as he takes the water bottle Bakugou offers him. He twists it open, dripping as much sarcasm as he can into his words, “and you care about this? Some lifeguard you are.” He takes a sip from the bottle. God does his throat hurt.

The way Bakugou’s face scrunches in irritation almost made Tomura laugh but instead, he hides his smile behind another sip. “Listen asshole, I can put you back in the ocean and laugh as your pasty ass tries to save itself. You should be fucking thankful.”

Before Tomura would retort, a couple voices call out for him. Dabi and Toga. They must’ve been playing one rigorous game of volleyball because they’re covered in sand and sweat.

“We were wondering where you went,” Toga says, putting the volleyball under her arm. “We thought you ran away!”

Tomura scoffs but Toga quickly ignores him, opting to look at the other two with him, particularly at Midoriya. She steps over Tomura’s legs, looking gleeful, to get closer. “Oh, hello! Are you guys lifeguards? What happens to our poor little Tomura-chan?”

“Toga,” the ‘poor little’ Tomura warns. Dabi laughs and helps him to his feet.

Toga continues to ignore him. Midoriya gives a nervous smile as he makes a pointed effort to look at anywhere but at Toga as she skitters closer and closer. “Uh, we-er, he saw your friend struggling to swim and pulled him to shore.” At the he, Midoriya had made a half effort wave to Bakugou’s general direction, who huffs, not paying them a dime of attention. “If it weren’t for Kacchan, he could’ve been a goner!”

Toga nods, not listening one bit. It’s Dabi who snorts at the story and upends Tomura’s head. “Nice going, idiot. Have you thanked him yet?”

Tomura scowls and huffs. While that he was a little thankful, he wouldn’t admit it to that asshole of all people. Dabi seems to get that and instead chooses to ruffle his hair with a chuckle.

Bakugou announces his leave with annoyance.

“I should get going too,” Midoriya said not far after, probably thankful for this out from Toga’s insistent chatter, as he follows after his partner in ocean surveillance.

Dabi throws his arms over Tomura’s and Toga’s shoulders, saying as simple as possible, as Tomura watches them go, “Welp, at least you didn’t scare them away.”

Tomura eyes the arm around him. “I hate you both.”

Dabi laughs as Toga sighs. “Don’t worry, you’ll see your new boytoy again.” Tomura wasn’t sure who he was referring to, Toga who was looking dreamily after Midoriya or to him.

Actually, he doesn’t want to know.

After that, Tomura sticks to their designated area for the rest of the day. Lucky for him, Dabi was lenient enough to give him back his PS Vita console because the almost drowning victim deserved at least some slack. The towel was over his head now, covering himself from the setting sun that refused to shine over the beach umbrella (and he wouldn’t be caught dead with that sun hat). He’s tapping the keys harshly, the fighting sounds rolled on the highest setting, and he’s so incredibly close to winning, and—

“Oi.”

His thumb slips on the toggle stick, breaking his ultimate combo, and watches in disbelief as Game Over title sequences flash across his screen. He stares at the syncopated message until the device just falls out of his hands as the little loser jingle rings out on loop. He puts his face in them instead.

“Uh...hey dude.” Oh yes, the reason for his failure. The words chip out from Tomura’s mouth, each stop full of as much barely controlled anger as he can possibly fit.

“What. Do. You. Want.”

Whoever it was standing behind him shifts on their feet, the sand softly crunching beneath. At some point, his console powered itself off and it’s then the person finally states, voice awfully familiar, “I said I wanted my towel back.”

Oh, it’s him. The crappy lifeguard. “Just take it,” Tomura laments into his hands. The towel resting over his head and back is swiped, but instead of the sun heat hitting his pale back, Bakugou’s shadow saves him. “While you’re at it, throw me back into the ocean too. I can’t handle this loss..."

Bakugou snorts. “Jesus, dude, it’s just a game. Just do it again.”

“It’s not just a game,” he quickly retorts, raising his face from his hands to shoot a glare over his shoulder. Bakugou has a hand on his hip, towel thrown over his shoulder, as he stands looking unimpressed as Tomura speaks. “It was a speedrun. I was so close to beating my records and then you had to come here and…” scare me is something Tomura would never admit, even if his life depended on it. Except Bakugou is laughing because fuck Tomura. “...ruin it,” he finished, instead, turning back around.

However, Bakugou doesn’t take the hint and doesn’t leave. Tomura thinks he’s never hated a person as much as he does right now. To add salt to the wound, when he tries to further his point of wanting to be left alone by picking up his console, the fucking thing had the audacity to blink the red battery light and power off once again, completely dead. Tomura groans as he drops the thing again.

“There. Now you have my attention because the world is awful and hates me. What do you want?”

Bakugou laughs at his pain. Jeez. “Deku told me to go see how you’re doing—”

“Fine,” Tomura interrupts.

“—cause he’s scared of your freaky friends.”

“They’re not my friends,” he replies out of habit, but the corner of his mouth quirks up. Good to know normal people are scared of them, maybe they’d be left alone more. “Don’t you have an ocean to watch?”

“Shifts over,” Bakugou answers. “I needed my towel back before I left.”

Tomura makes a half hearted wave to the towel in Bakugou’s possession with a ‘now leave me alone’ implied, but just for extra zing, because he feels festive, he says, “There, you have it. Now leave me alone.” and turns back around to slump over his knees to be left alone to his utter and complete misery.

Except, the cool shadow covering his back doesn’t retreat. Why isn’t it retreating—wait is he still there, he can’t be that stupid— “Actually…” the shadow that will not be named because Tomura no longer cares, “there a bonfire later. You should come.”

His ears are working right, right? Like, he heard what this guy said, right? Not having any post-almost-drowning-delusions right now, right?

Tomura turns around yet again just so he can witness his own sanity possibly failing him. Bakugou looks at him expectfully, where Tomura can only think Wow, we have the same eye color. “So?” Bakugou asks with a raised brow.

He puts it rather eloquently actually, answering, “Uh.”

A beat passes.

“Did I break you? Did I just break this nerd?”

If anyone asks, this redness in Tomura’s face is from sunburn and sunburn only. Oh he can already hear Dabi’s snickering and Toga’s gushing as he clears his throat, wetting his lips, looking somewhere decidingly not at this rude lifeguard who he begrudgingly admits saved his life. “Uh,” Tomura says, “are you—? Are you being serious right now?”

“Yes, you loser.” Tomura can already hear the amusement in his voice. He has to be fucking with him.

But…

Well...

“Yes?” He said tersely. Then quickly adds, “if it's not lame or anything, I can… I can go.”

Bakugou snorts but, when Tomura looks at him again, he’s smiling.

Okay, maybe beach day wasn’t that awful of an idea, afterall.

OMAKE:

“See,” Dabi said as he pats Tomura’s sweet little sunhat covered head as he pulls the brims down to hide his very ‘sunburnt’ red face. “I know my friends better than they know themselves. You totally had a thing for him.”

“Shut up,” he mutters dejectedly into the straw.

Dabi only laughs because he knows under that hat, theres a dumb smile plastered on there.

#my writing #beach au...oh the beach au.... so many rewrites bc i finally DID it....#shigabaku

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doom-dreaming · 5 years

Text

Chat Shenanigans

SO THIS IS SILLY AND IT WAS BORN FROM A SKYPE CHAT ENJOY IT also I'm sorry i can't put in a readmore because tumblr is a Good Website™ and the color formatting disappears if i try to edit on desktop :) :) technically co-written with kat, the lines about troy eating a car, 'he's not the hot one' and the whole greg debacle are theirs!

******

[TwinGods4Evah has entered the game]

meatbike420: oh shit level 60 whats up dude wanna join our squad?

TwinGods4Evah: sure

strippptheflesh: welcome to the team

r3dtatt00s: come thirst about troy with us

strippptheflesh: speak for yourself bro

TwinGods4Evah: troy calypso?

r3dtatt00s: you know anyone else named troy?

r3dtatt00s: he’s a s*x god

r3dtatt00s: wait why the f*ck is my profanity filter on gimme a sec

TwinGods4Evah: lmao you wanna fuck him?

r3dtatt00s: listen man he could rip my arms off and i’d thank him. i’d let him do NAYTHING to me

r3dtatt00s: *anything

strippptheflesh: and the horny on main award goes to...

r3dtatt00s: i ahve no shame

r3dtatt00s: *have

r3dtatt00s: fuck this keyboard

meatbike420: nah your fingers are just shakin cause you’re thinkin about gettin fucked up by troy

meatbike420: what do you think that mouth do?

r3dtatt00s: somethin nasty i hope

TwinGods4Evah: how nasty we talking?

strippptheflesh: lol i hear he eats cars

TwinGods4Evah: nobody ever proved that

GLORYTOTHESIRENGODS: BLASPHEMY

TwinGods4Evah: oh shit looks like we got a fanatic here. we’re just havin fun bro cool it

GLORYTOTHESIRENGODS: THE TWIN GODS ARE UNATTAINABLE

meatbike420: okay who lets a psycho play a video game. wait do they know how to type? wtf

GLORYTOTHESIRENGODS: [*muffled mic noises*]

[GLORYTOTHESIRENGODS has left the game]

r3dtatt00s: A N Y WA Y

strippptheflesh: you want troy to rip your throat out, we know

r3dtatt00s: he’s so hot

r3dtatt00s: it’s visceral man

meatbike420: i bet you wouldn’t be this shameless if he could see you saying all this

TwinGods4Evah: maybe he can

r3dtatt00s: don’t care

r3dtatt00s: shameless

TwinGods4Evah: i’m sure he’d be flattered

TwinGods4Evah: i hear they’re pretty chill

meatbike420: oh shit you got insider knowledge bro? spill it

strippptheflesh: what if they’re actually troy tho

r3dtatt00s: ...

TwinGods4Evah: wait now hold on i thought you said no shame lmao

r3dtatt00s: you’d tell us if you were really troy right

TwinGods4Evah: ;)

r3dtatt00s: BRO DON’T EVEN PLAY AROUND

r3dtatt00s: im gona fuckign piss myself

TwinGods4Evah: hot

strippptheflesh: haaaaaa

[HonorTheGodQueen has joined the game]

HonorTheGodQueen: he’s not even the hot one

TwinGods4Evah: HEY LIL BIG SIS

r3dtatt00s: fuckfuckfukcfuckfuckfuc

r3dtatt00s: PLELASE TELL ME YOUR’E NOT ACTUALYL THEM

strippptheflesh: LOL YOU’RE DEAD BRO I KNEW IT

meatbike420: holy shit

r3dtatt00s: fuck im so sorry i hope i didnt

r3dtatt00s: fuck

TwinGods4Evah: didn’t what?

HonorTheGodQueen: yeah c’mon let’s hear it

r3dtatt00s: oh god oh fuck

TwinGods4Evah: say that again~ ;P

strippptheflesh: SCREAMING

meatbike420: rip

TwinGods4Evah: you know @r3dtatt00s if you ever wanna see ‘what this mouth do’ just come find me

[r3dtatt00s has left the game]

HonorTheGodQueen: shame

TwinGods4Evah: did anyone manage to add them?

TwinGods4Evah: what if i randomly DM’d them i think they’d die

strippptheflesh: so wait are you guys the real calypsos??

TwinGods4Evah: ;) ;) ;)

HonorTheGodQueen: troy i think they know

TwinGods4Evah: shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhH

strippptheflesh: holy fuck

HonorTheGodQueen: shut up greg

strippptheflesh: my name’s not even greg

HonorTheGodQueen: it is now

strippptheflesh: yes maam

TwinGods4Evah: careful she likes that

[strippptheflesh has changed their name to stripppthegreg]

TwinGods4Evah: nooooooo don’t enable her

HonorTheGodQueen: oh so you’re the only one who can have fun around here?

meatbike420: oooohh sibling fight

meatbike420: no offense

meatbike420: don’t kill me

HonorTheGodQueen: just because yours left

[r3dtatt00s has entered the game]

stripppthegreg: @r3dtatt00s IT’S ACTUALLY THEM

r3dtatt00s: WE DIE LIKE MEN

r3dtatt00s: wait why are you greg

#borderlands fanfiction #my writing #i'd say this is crack #but.....it's borderlands #so anything goes #i had so much fun with this #the calypso twins #troy calypso #tyreen calypso

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getinthefunvee · 5 years

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// hey lovelies. i wasn’t around yesterday (well, a bit in the morning while you were all snoozing) because i was really wrung out. have some fun chatter about my disability and summer below the readmore. it’s going to become relevant to how active i am on here when it’s really really warm out. aka ‘wtf is EB, ari, and why tf won’t you shut up about it?’

figured this was better than clogging everyone’s dash. yesterday was the first properly warm day, and i could sort of feel my soul leave my body for the summer lol. on top of my usual mental ish (major depressive disorder; anxiety; mild ?ptsd) and neurodivergent ish (ADD, huge huge introvert living in a uniquely extroverted microcosm), i have a genetic condition called EB (epidermolysis bullosa)--don’t google it unless you want to skrem, i’m ‘lucky’ in that i have a milder version of it, so i look ‘normal’ to most people (having an invisible disability is its own special hell) but my skin is super fragile, and the summer heat makes it worse. folx with EB tend to burn through nutrients faster, so we’re always exhausted (similar to folx with chronic fatigue syndrome, with varying severity). like we are always soul-deep tired. EB basically means the connective tissue in our skin doesn’t work right, so our skin looks normal, but it’s extremely delicate--even slight friction can cause a scrape or tear, any sustained friction (think bra strap, waistband of your jeans, shoes) causes blisters. there are degrees of severity, from ‘sometimes i get a blister’ to ‘blisters on inside of throat’ hellishness; i fall on the most severe end of the least severe variety, so i don’t get skin damage from stuff like shaking someone’s hand, but i can rub my skin raw from just using the wrong kind of towel or get cuts trying to peel a clove of garlic with a particularly tough husk.

but back to the blisters! skip this para if you’re squicked by skin. you know the worst shoes you ever wore in your life, the ones that gave you horrific open blisters? that’s me, in any (or no) shoes, with padding/bandages. it means that sometimes, i can’t walk half a block without my feet being wrecked. it means i always have cuts and raw patches on my hands, and it means i’m super self-conscious about the scratch/scab looking wounds that i’ll get on my shoulders or chest or face from just like. using a towel. :/ they’re small enough that it looks like i’ve picked a spot (nice 9.9) which just makes me feel self-conscious because, yeah, it’s not a good Look.

so summer is extra horrible because 1) feet are constantly wrecked; 2) walking even short distances is physically exhausting; 3) i’m even more exhausted than my usual horrible exhaustion; 4) the pain and anxiety trigger reverse seasonal affective disorder (yup, ‘summer SAD’ is a thing!); 5) public transport here doesn’t have a/c, so it can literally be over 100F in a bus with no open windows, crammed full of people, and nobody will give up their seat because i don’t ‘look’ disabled; 6) summer = tank tops & shorts/skirts, which means more of my wounds/scabs are visible, and i can either cover them in 10,000 bandaids--which, btw, rip EB skin when you try to take them off, super fun--or leave them out and people stare, but not wearing cool clothes = 7) overheating. apparently i’m one of the lucky folx with EB who also don’t sweat enough, which sounds like it’d be a great thing?? but instead i just overheat like a dog trapped in a locked car.

if all of that wasn’t enough, i also have endometriosis and mild hypothyroid, and as an added bonus, the number of genuine external stressors is so severe that even my therapist doesn’t understand how i haven’t had a full-on breakdown. GOOD STUFF.

wow this got long. you’re still with me? i love u.

so very, very tl;dr but here are the things you can help me with during the long horrible summer months of eternal suffer-tude:

1) be gentle with me. 2) be patient with me. 3) if you can, try not to insta-reply the second i post a reply--maybe, idk, stick it in a queue or post it a few hours or more later? it’s ok if you can’t, but it can help alleviate my ‘not replying fast enough, not good enough’ anxiety a little. 4) please don’t try to ‘fix’ things or give me advice; i genuinely love you for the intention, but this stuff is chronic. and i have better days/weeks/months! and once the external (read: financial) stressors back off, if they ever do, it’ll be a lot easier for me to cope. 5) do feel free to send me affection, positivity, cute animals, etc <3 6) pls don’t feel sorry for me; again, i totally get the intention, but i can’t feel sorry for me, i just gotta keep on keepin’ on, yeah? 7) if i don’t instantly reply to DMs/disco convos, please don’t repeatedly ping me. i know i project extroversion, but very often i just don’t have the spoons for this. giving me a poke once a day is ok! just know that if i don’t respond right away, it’s not because i don’t love you/want to interact, it’s often because i’m just trying to function that day. 8) like honestly another thing that would help would be money 8) because the current situation is such that we’re worried about shit like the utilities being turned off, being able to afford food, etc. this isn’t something i’d ever wanted to ask for, but if you’re sitting there like ‘wow what would help’ it’s money, so like. my ko-fi is arieila <3 but please know that just wanting to interact with me is doing me plenty of good and all you can really do.

tl;dr part 2: one day i’ll move to a climate where it’s cold all year ‘round and i’ll be so much healthier.

thank you for coming to my hot mess ted talk.

#|| wow this got long #|| discussion of mental health stuff (not too heavy) and disability stuff (heavier)#|| file under: how to care for an ari #❮ ▽ ❯ out of coffee

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vonlipvig · 5 years

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Ok, I’m in the mood to rant about some AA stuff, specifically some of the Big Baddies. Not an angry rant, by any means. I;m just full of AA Love right now.

(Spoilers for all games except both DGSs!)

Under a readmore cause it got LONG

Ok, so I’m replaying AAI2 right now, and I’m playing through case 4, and I honestly had forgotten how MUCH i hated Blaise Debeste (hate as in “You’re so fucking despicable”, not in the “I hate him as a character” way, I delight in hating him, as we all do, I suppose). And I guess that set me thinking about all of the Big Villains of AA, and how exactly I feel about them.

So I asked myself, “who are the scariest AA villains?”, and I think the answer to that--at least for me, of course--is Damon Gant and Blaise Debeste, with Quercus Alba nipping at their heels.

Now, hold your horses, let me explain. I think those three--but those two to a more certain degree--are the most terrifying antagonists in the games, and that’s because of one thing: power. These guys have the institutional power they need to do whatever it is they want, and that’s really fucking scary. And yes, you can have power and not use it for your own, selfish needs, but these guys do exactly that, and to perfection. Gant, for one, is terrifying just from his appearance, cause everything from his stance, to his stare just says “do not dare cross me” and that’s spine-chilling. I guess what’s also very scary about him is that somewhere in his mind, at the very beginning of his career, maybe he did want to do good? But I think his own selfishness overtook that from the moment of the Darke and Marshall murders. I don’t think he cared at all that he was killing an innocent person. he just cared about his own reputation.

And Blaise...god, talking about Blaise makes my skin crawl. just as Gant, Blaise also has a LOT of power (and I’m talking a LOT, this man has affected the lives of so many others), and he sees people as mere objects to use and discard as he pleases (I’m replaying AAI2 so my memory is not that fresh, but like, he made people disappear, even his wife I think). And what’s even scarier than Gant is that he truly looks as if he enjoys tormenting others, so it’s not just that he sees others as things, he just truly delights in causing others pain. AND SPEAKING OF CAUSING OTHERS PAIN, he also straight up abuses Sebastian, his own son. He fucking went so far as to ORDER HIS SON KIDNAPPED. I’m about to cry cause I just HATE HIM SO MUCH, OH MY GOD.

Ok, like the AAI stan that I am, I have to say that I also really enjoy Quercus Alba. I don’t know, I think he’s not as developed or as interesting as these others, in a way, but to me at least he seems like a really cool and really scary villain as well. Selfish, uncaring, and almost unbearably proud (GOD THOSE GODDAMN EXTRATERRITORIAL RIGHTS), I really loved the whole smuggling ring plot point from AAI, so I guess your enjoyment of him hinges on if you liked that or not. I did. Oh, and I just love his sprites, what a fucking tree bastard.

So I gotta talk about our friend Manny von Karma now, oh boy. THE OG bad boy. The thing with Manfred is that his “evilness” kiiiinda pales a bit once you know the events of AAI2. He got vital information kept away from him during the IS-7, courtesy of Blaise, so you get that sense of “oh, there was someone above him in the command chain”, and yeah, there was. But the man was still ruthless, and he was still not above forging and cheating to get what he wanted. In that respect, very much like the other guys. But what separates him from the others is that his big crime--the murder of Gregory Edgeworth--was much more passional than anything the other guys ever did. He didn’t murder Gregory because of money, or to keep his mouth shut, and it wasn’t even something he planned. The opportunity presented itself, and he was so full of rage for his wounded pride that he murdered him. In a way that makes him less scary to me, because I understand emotions, but I can’t understand cold, psychopathic calculation (ok, but he gains a lot more Evil Points with the whole “adopting the child of my enemy and raising it to be all that he despised” thing, YAKNOW?).

Morgan Fey, too, is another villain that is very passionate yet still cold and calculating. Her pride is everything to her, and the blow that was dealt to her by being cast aside as a “branch” member of the clan was devastating to her, and made her into the woman she is. What’s really interesting about Morgan is that we see the character of the doting mother at first in her with how she treats Pearl, but then we see that that could not be further from the truth. I think maybe she tries to convince herself that what she does, she does for her love of Pearl, but that’s not true at all. It’s great to see this side of the “mother” archetype.

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT. None of them are actually my favorite villain. The one who I believe is the most compelling, entertaining, thought-provoking of all the AA killers is Simon Keyes. I mean, what does it tell you, that when I’m talking about a manipulative murderer the first that comes to mind is sadness because he got dealt a very bad hand in life? This is not me justifying his actions, because none of the things he did were justifiable in the slightest. But this man, this kid, had no-one (He had Dogen, actually, but hey, a great role model to have, right?). He felt betrayed by the ones who were supposed to be his closest protectors and friends, and that turned him sour. He’s as cold and calculating as the other baddies, but his story just shatters your heart, especially because it is paralleled so well by other AAI2 characters, in Sebastian, in Miles, in Kate Hall, etc. Basically, AAI2 best game.

And I could add Dahlia in the same category as Simon, I think. it’s...not the same, granted, but Dahlia’s background are incredibly interesting to mull about. She was born in the Fey Clan, so from the day she was born she carried an enormous burden on her shoulders. The whole thing with Misty and Morgan, which ended with her father taking her with him, left her very jaded and hateful (and betrayed, I believe, deep inside), and that set her on the path she would then take. Then she gets foiled my Mia, and that absolutely devastates her, and driver her to seek revenge. I think not only revenge because Mia managed to finally expose her crimes, but Mia also represents that “Main Branch” of the family, that which had been taken from her, and that which caused her so much pain. I really love Dahlia, I think she’s a bit more over the top than Simon, but I really enjoy her character.

An then there’s...well, the Phantom. I don’t know what to say about them, they really don’t have the depth that other villains have, as we don’t know anything about them except the “feels no emotions” thing. And I don’t know if I like that, as a character train. I don’t mean to say I don’t like characters that feel no emotions, cause hey, see the guys up top, but to make it such a gimmick was...meh. Oh, but I will say, that part where Aura says that one phrase and then you feel a deep chill in your spine because “oh my god i know who the phantom is”? Very good.

We also have Kristoph and Matt, and.......come on, I love them to bits, Farewell My Turnabout is one of my all time fave cases, and I think Turnabout Trump is SO GOOD for a first case, but...these guys are absolute clowns, they’re so fucking stupid, ok? At least von Karma was just like “OH HE’S UNCONSCIOUS THIS IS MY CHANCE”, these dudes went back to their sad lairs and concocted some dumbass plans. Ridiculous djfdhfjdhf.

And then there’s Ga’ran and I gotta say I don’t remember a single thing about her, The End.

#BOY I TYPED A LOT OF BS #you're all welcome to give your opinions this is just for fun #ace attorney #juli's mundane life

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the-punforgiven · 5 years

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Hey! I saw your post about doing robot voices, would you happen to know a way to do soundwave's voice from transformers?

uhhhhh

I’m assuming that was the evil dude with the funky voice from the old 80s cartoon? I’m sorry I barely remember anything about it but like, if I had to guess I’d probably say something along the lines of

EDIT: I’m putting it under a readmore since it’s longer than I thought it’d be lmao

1. If you’re using a vocoder, which operates basically by smashing two audio files together, (Which I highly recommend using by the way) you’re gonna want to do the actual lines in the deepest growliest voice you can possibly muster, like I’m talking hard death metal shit, or like, a Dr. Claw impression, work with what you can manage

2. The second audio file should probably be a smooth symphonic song, a go-to song for me in terms of voices like that is the first couple minutes of Inferi - A Beckoning Thrall because it doesn’t have any parts where the song goes silent (Trust me, it makes things weird) and has a little extra little bass and I love deep bassy tones lmaoCoincidentally is also one of the songs I used for that one Darkest Dungeon post lmao

3. Now that’s really all you need if you wanna record those lines fast, but if you want to go a little fuckin crazy and spice things up a little more, you could find a lower-pitched song (typically where I’d use metal) and record a second thing the same way. The song will only affect the melody that it forces into the lines and not the cadence or speed of the actual lines themselves, so if you use the same file you threw into the vocoder the first time, you’ll be fine and they should sync up no problem. -This can, at the expense of the funky auto-tune effect, add a little extra depth to the voice. however at the same time it doesn’t sound vaguely musical, so like, that’s probably a downside-(I don’t remember if the character did that though lmao)

4. If you wanna go beyond a little fuckin crazy and/or put your own personal spin on it, open the file with Audacity and fuck with it a little. My personal taste and especially if you’re using music that’s light on the bass, is to immediately boost it, like an amatuer, but if you want a cool little cheat too you can ctrl+c ctrl+v the file and pitch shift the clone down a couple octaves to really get that basiness going-Be warned though that doing that will sometimes present weird little artifacts and a fair amount of unintended background noise if you aren’t careful, so like, just something to look out for

But yeah, it’s always fun to mess around and I wholeheartedly encourage messing around with as many settings as you can just to get a feel for it

And like, if you mess up too bad, ctrl+z always an option so don’t let anything stop you from just doin’ stuff, like as long as you’re learning you’re doing good

Also if you figure out somethin cool feel free to let me know, I always love learning and trying new stuff with recording and audio!

oh also disclaimer I’m not a professional and haven’t taken classes or anything so there’s probably a better way to go about this lmao

But yeah like, have fun! and I hope this helped a little lmao

Thanks for the ask, friend!

#vocal effects are fun #may or may not have googled his voice as a refresher lmao #Thanks!#asks #anon

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honeybeeofficial · 6 years

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today on mhmhmham campaign

I’m Very Sorry this is a really long post a lot happened today,, I was gonna put it under a readmore but tumblr hates that apparently

we spend a while just like. standing around in various rooms because none of us have any idea what to do

We encounter a door.

Lyn politely knocks on it.

Ben opens it, because it’s unlocked.

“hey make a perception check? Okay so one of the zombies is wearing robes belonging to– uh– wait, never mind. Good news! None of the zombies are naked.”

this place didn’t come with a kitchen, a laundry room, or any bathrooms. It’s no wonder these people all died.

We’re about to leave the room we entered, and the room remembers last minute that it’s got something to show us

We see a complete stranger save someone from a band of swindlers. We see them travel together for years, sometimes not seeing each other for months at a time but always ready to help one another if need be. They swap stories of the times before they met. They get tattoos together, a bluejay and a sparrow. They are best friends. Then one of them settles down, but the other isn’t ready to stop moving. They part ways quietly, with no hard feelings.

Lyn gets real hyped about tattoos. she asks, “Y’all wanna see mine?” and then before anyone can respond she hikes up the back of her shirt to show us this massive tattoo of a rowan tree

Ollie adds a kitchen since we made a big deal about it. There’s peanut butter everywhere and we all gain +1 peanut butter and +1 jelly (grape was the favourite here, but there’s strawberry if you look harder)

The room changes. You see a mismatched group of five people resting around a campfire. They look absolutely exhausted; a few sustained minor injuries. One seems to have removed themself from the group, but the others laugh and chat, enjoying a rare moment of peace. The scene fades into a different picture, showing one of the four who had been laughing and chatting, now alone.

contents of the kitchen: peanut butter, peanuts, grape jelly, strawberry jelly, a rune on one of the doors, a super fancy electric mixer,

we now have the means to execute the patented Justin Mcelroy solution of “put some jelly on it”

The room changes. We see two best friends growing up together. We see them become young teenagers. We see one gifting the other a beautiful leather corded necklace. We see them get older, the years racing by until years later they get in a fight over something. The one wearing the necklace runs away in tears. We see them hastily scribbling a letter and leaving their village.

Poor Lyn’s ears immediately drop flat against her head and stay this way for the next like 10 minutes

We find some Neat Stuff in a dorm! Kaalvia finds a figurine and a tankard, Ben finds a fancy prism, Lyn finds a fancy necklace thing, Lydia finds a bracelet belonging to Mystra’s other priest, whom she Cannot Remember

There’s something on the horizon, What Do Lyn’s Elf Eyes See?

They’re taking the hobbits halflings to isengard!

no actually it’s a new boat called the S.S. Kooltyme

The room changes. We see Lyn and her friend Alskat getting their rowan tree tattoos together. Alskat is sobbing because he has sucky pain tolerance

so. our barbarian has the highest intelligence in the party, and it’s a 12

We ask Lydia if she saw anything before we arrived: she “saw the boat, and Ben, what you did was pretty cool,” cut to Ben in the background frantically making NO THEY DON’T KNOW ABOUT THAT gestures

then Ben has to try to explain what happened without actual details, because he Doesn’t Wanna Share Those but he also doesn’t wanna lie,

The room changes. We see two girls. We see a gnome and a wood elf, and we see them meeting for the first time. We see them protecting each other. We see them falling in love, and a beautiful Carey & Killian-esque wedding.

all of the visions this time have to do with our interpersonal relationships… guys love was the answer all along

We have a nice group hug to see if that’ll take down the barrier. nothing happens but we all feel really good about it

[bonnie voice] well, don’t make that character choice for everyone,

Telescorp

We use a telescope to view the S.S. Kooltyme, and find that not only is it getting closer/passing us, it’s been renamed The Big Bass Challenger II

The island isn’t visible from the outside. They’re not going to notice us.

not knowing what else to do, Ben. Ben extremely reluctantly suggests we try recreating the conditions under which we landed here, since obviously we got through the barrier then.

So Ben goes into a rage, and this storm picks up around him, and when the storm touches the barrier he can feel this electric aura but nothing happens so he attacks the barrier

at this point it should be noted I am physically shaking, I’m completely unsure of whether this will work or just severely injure my boy

I roll a nat20.

The barrier flickers. just for a moment, but the boat sees us. and we see Agnes and Mabel on board, jumping up and down when they see us

We all attack the barrier together. And it flickers, again, for just a moment. And as the barrier comes back up, it is not the familiar sight of the sun setting and the three full moons and all of the stars. We see, projected all around us, another vision.

We saw Lydia’s sister. She was the other priest of Mystra, and she looked just like her sister but younger and with bright blue eyes. She wore the bracelet that Lydia found. They enjoy a blessed few months together for the first time in a long while. And then we saw her when Asmodeus attacked the temple, running for her life, hastily scrawling a rune of fear in the blood of her god on the first wall she saw in the hopes that it would slow Asmodeus down. We saw her, aided by Mystra, cast the most powerful spell she could summon, raising a protective barrier around the island in a desperate attempt to protect what’s still left. We saw the rest of the priests felled, and we saw Lydia’s ghost rise, unable to let go of her sister. We saw the zombies of the other priests attack her sister, raised by an unstable, helpless Lydia who didn’t know what she was doing. We saw her sister see Lydia, and understand, and that was the last thing she ever saw. We saw Lydia remain on the island, alone and in pain for centuries and eventually… forgetting her sister.

I joked about ollie making us remember a long-lost sister last night but I didn’t mean it ollie!!!!

what do we do? what do you even say?

her name was Sylvia and she was five years younger than Lydia.

literally all of us at this point are either crying or about to cry

Lydia puts on Sylvia’s bracelet, and the barrier warps a little.

We all go in to take down the barrier together. Lydia is going to try to cast dispel magic, which she doesn’t have and is too high a level for her; Lyn is using whatever spell is stored in her magic boots; and with a nat20 and a 22, respectively, Ben and Kaalvia are melee attacking it

the barrier fades, hooray we can finally leave the island

As the terrain of the island ages extremely quickly, Ben asks Lyn to try growing a flower again. It sprouts, and actually takes root, and by the time the rest of the island has “caught up” to present day, the island is covered in flowers.

Lydia’s coming with us, we have a cool ghost friend now

#the sylvia part is extremely paraphrased because i stopped being physically able to take notes after like 2 sentences #also i cried a couple more times writing this post #mhmhmham campaign #dnd #lamppost

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silenceofthemongooses · 6 years

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hi! I hope I'm not bothering you but I can see ur attending CU. I'm planning on applying to either the school of art or engineering, but I'm leaning more towards art. I'm really at a loss when it comes to applying, home tests,and the general enviorment of the school.. and what to do after I graduate so I was just curious on what that's all like :0 sorry for making this so long .. thank u for ur time!

OMG THIS IS THE ASK I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR MY WHOLE LIFE I LOVE TALKING ABOUT COOPER

i’m putting it under a readmore bc it got crazy long??? i’m not even to the part where i yell about applications yet and it’s like ten paragraphs lmao

so.

first things first.

i applied to cooper in the first place because when i took the tour (best fucking college tour i took the whole time, by the way. all of the guides LOVE cooper and they love telling you about it, so if you get a chance, defo go on the tour bc theyre way more honest and you get a better feel for the school than on any other tour) one of the things that they emphasized was the student community., one told me that once when she walked into the EE lab and asked to borrow someone’s phone charger because hers had frayed so badly it wasn’t working. not only did someone give her a charger, but they fixed her charger until she could get a new one.

and when i got here, it’s totally fucking true. cooper is a community in every definition of the word. everyone is totally willing to help you in any way that they can, because that’s the kind of people that cooper admits and then fosters that behavior.

now. the reason they foster this behavior is because it’s a fucking hard school. the standard course load for a freshman engineer first semester is 18.5 credits, spread out over 7 classes plus a professional seminar. and yeah, some of those are only one or two credit classes, but they still have homework and class time. it is a rigorous schedule that only gets harder. professor alan wolf (physics, more on him later maybe? i have him next semester, we’ll see if the Rumors are true) said at an engineering faculty panel that he wants physics to be moved to first semester of freshman year (instead of second) because the transition from “an easy first semester” to a semester with physics and calc 2 was too difficult for a lot of students. everyone around me groaned when he said the first semester was easy.

and this is just the engineering school! the art school is hard as hell too. keep in mind that what i know about the art program is just synthesized from talking to art students and not at all from personal experience. but.

the first year of art is a foundation year. they assume you don’t know anything, and break you down to basics. the art ra in the dorms said her freshman year was incredibly hard for her both as an artist and as a person just because she was confronted with all these other talented people and having to face that she wasn’t The Artist in school anymore. i regularly leave the student lounge (menschel) at two in the morning only for art kids to walk in, holding all of their materials (although, not anymore, since someone got charcoal all over the tables in 3a lmao) and settling in for another all-nighter.

cooper is a culture of intense rigor and stress, and there is no overcoming that. but it’s also a culture of community and supporting each other. it’s a really specific kind of school that some people find just isn’t for them.

also, cooper is like, really small. like. very small. here are some of the things you will encounter because of cooper union’s limited budget and facilities, and which you basically have to accept:

no dining hall. there’s frankie’s cafe in the new academic building (also known as the engineering building, most commonly referred to as the nab) but otherwise there is absolutely no meal plan. frankie’s has like, sandwiches and muffins and bagels and (terrible) coffee, but it is in no way a full college dining hall.

no gym. i think at one point we were allowed to use nyu’s facilities? no longer. almost everyone i know belongs to a gym. i myself visit the planet fitness on union square maaaybe once a month when i guilt myself into it. blink is a popular option. if you’re willing to spare the cash equinox is also there. crunch is the one that everyone kind of makes fun of but like it’s super close so go for it if you want.

small supporting staff. this is both a blessing and a curse. i know everyone in the student affairs office by first name and usually they know me. i think at this point i’ve met everyone in the financial aid department. cool, because it means that they know me. bad, because it means i’ve had to talk to all of them to figure out what the hell is going on with my scholarships and how much money i actually know. this is not a school where there are online systems in place to fix any problems you have. you have to be your own advocate to the administration, and as much as they desperately want to help you, a lot of the time it comes down to just making sure your paperwork goes through. good news is you almost never have to make an appointment to talk to someone you just show up.

very little interaction between the schools. there are three schools. art, architecture, and engineering. engineering is by far the most populated, followed by art, then architecture. if i didn’t live with two artists, i would never talk to anyone in art or architecture. yes, the hss classes are multidisciplinary, but just statistically, engineers far outweigh the artists. there weren’t even any architects in my hss1 class. if you don’t make the effort to reach out beyond your school, it straight up doesn’t happen.

sometimes when you go to the basics plus to get some hangers because you ordered too many shirts online and now they’re just kind of shoved in your drawers and when the cashier asks if you have a student id and you pull out your cooper id she’s like “oh! is that local?” and you have to smile and say yes and when you walk out of the store you can see the foundation building down third with absolutely no problem

there’s more and i’ll think of them later but this is good for now

ANYWAYS i have a lot more thoughts on the culture of cooper??? but i think i’m going to leave it here because this is a decent overview of how i feel and what the most important parts are.

now.

for applying.

again, i applied to and am in the engineering school. everything i know about the art school is based on talking to art students

also, i am in no way affiliated with the actual admissions department and the following is just based on my experiences as someone who applied and talking to other people who applied

also at first i thought you were applying this cycle and i was like. honey. this is not enough time for either application

BUT THEN i put an ounce more thought into it and realized not everyone younger than me is a high school senior lmao

anyways!

both applications are really intensive. to get art out of the way (sorry art) it’s a series of prompts that you have to create a piece in response to. some artists i know got crazy super stressed about it, and pulled so many all nighters, and skipped a lot of homework to do it, and overall just did not enjoy it. one of my artist roommates, however, said that she actually really enjoyed the process? she just let herself create without worrying “is this what will get me in?” and felt that it was a really great experience.

either way, you’re going to have an interesting experience.

for the engineering writing prompts, it’s a goddamn marathon. there were nine, i think, when i applied? i applied to eleven schools and i had to write seventeen supplements. the ratio of supplement-to-school was way off and its all cooper’s fault lmao

there isn’t a word minimum, but there is a word maximum per essay, a fact i discovered as i was copy-pasting mine into the commonapp from my googledocs file. i think the max is 500 words? not positive tho don’t quote me

anyways they’re all fairly standard questions. like, nothing out of the blue like chicago’s or whatever. but keep in mind that this is honestly where you’re going to get admitted. a lot of people apply to cooper. and a lot of those people will have the same exact stats as you (btw, sat/act scores and gpa matter slightly more for engineers than for artists and architects) and the way to distinguish yourself is through your writing. cooper admits you as a person because they believe you’ll add to their community and then to the world, not because you got a perfect score on whatever.

so i, at least, let myself be a little freer in my cooper essays than in any other supplement. some of them i could answer right away (why cooper? why engineering?) and some of them i had to think about for a few days. the last one i wrote was the “tell us about something you read recently”. i wrote about staying up until three in the morning reading a novel and crying. i wrote it the next day because i realized that’s like, exactly who i am as a person.

the biggest tip i have for writing these essays in general (not just for cooper) is to watch food network star or something similar. the contestants get prompted on how to hook an audience (hey, you want to do that too!) in a short amount of time (word count) and tell a story that relates to both them and their food (a story that relates to you and and why you’re going to be a bombass cooper student) like, just watch a few, and then you’ll kind of have the flow of it down, and you can figure out how to work it into your own writing

just like, really show who you are. i know it can be tempting to put on this facade, and to a certain extent you should (do not, for example, tell them about the time you got so drunk you pissed your pants) but do your best to express yourself, in either application.

um anyways i am always down to talk about any aspect of The Cooper Union for the Advancement of Science and Art, so if you ever want any more info on anything, hit up my inbox!

my points of expertise include the dorms, classes, stanislav mintchev the greatest math professor in the history of the world, ray’s pizza, sitting in the engineering student council meetings and listening to all the Hot Goss, and more

i mighttttt end up putting up like “a week in my life” post at some point because i always think those are cool and maybe it would be neato

we’ll see

(if anyone want to see that…… or anything else……. lmk……..)

#ask #cooper union #literally anyone at anytime should talk to me about cooper #i love this damn school #hashtag problematic fave

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